Monday, October 30, 2017
Lets Go Home, or: I Ain't Titlin' Nothin'
Hey! Activated my QCard with the library. That'll show 'em.
Indictments! We're Comin' For Ya! That sort of crap.
Got Pizza before starting Entry this time. Hmm. Watched Split
with Mother. Now that's a scary movie. She's alright now, though.
Can't stress that enough. Maybe I Can. Anyway. If we
cancelled Halloween, that should have a noticeable effect on Childhood Obesity.
Kids eat half a pounds worth in calories from Halloween every year. We
cancel Halloween, everyone's a half pound lighter. Nobel Prize, please.
Cool. I've always wanted to win some sort of prize.
Cool. If I saw Split opening weekend with no idea what to expect, I
probably would have came in my pants at the ending. Nobel Prize,
please. How about these baseballs. Or, how I pronounce it,
Bhass Balls. Gotta mispronounce something. If everyone fasted
for Yom Kippur, they'd lose half a pound per year. The point is, cancel
Halloween, make kids observe Yom Kippur, they'll be ten pounds less than they
would have been by the time they go off to college. I'm full of great
ideas. Like, those two things. And more things, potentially.
Hey, Just got an e-mail from Sidewall Coffee! I may be doing another
show at the end of December! That'll be tons of fun potentially.
It's gonna be a real Christmas With The Kranks. Huh? Oh.
Third paragraph. Sweet. Gonna smoke a
cigarette. I'm back. I'm gonna play the shit out of some
songs. Gotta do something. Yeesh. Now my stomach hurts.
I got somethin' to do and thats stressful and stress hurts your insides.
Ouch. I'm not kidding, I'm in pain. That hardle ever happens!
At least I'm registered with the library now. That's a net win.
Tax Fraud, huh? For shame. The lesson is you can get away with
tax fraud as long as you're not under suspicion for colluding with the Russians
to elect a candidate for the United States Presidency. Now we know.
So that's good news?
Fourth paragraph! I don't believe it. I
blame eating half an hour earlier than I usually do. Either that, or
crushed red pepper. Hmm. I could potentially do my show with
Electric Guitar. A very interesting proposition that is. Let's
consult Mr. Bucket. I don't know. Still got cash money on Poker.
That's good news. Jeez. Probably go through five paragraphs here and
that'll be it until tonight. I like responding to text messages and
e-mails immediately. I Don't Play No Games. What else.
Fifth paragraph. Stomach is settling down. It's
about time! Gotta find these potential sources for potential topic for my
Disabilities Class Paper. That's not too hard. It's not like I'll be
pot committed. Somewhere along the line in my life, I started using the
phrase, "Pot committed," instead of every where just, "Committed," is necessary.
"So, I was having a mental breakdown, so I was pot committed to the hospital."
That sort of crap. I have two more blueberry muffins in my bookbag than I
usually do because my Mom wanted me to bring them home for her. The point
is A+ Number One Son. That's me.
I got time and energy for one more paragraph. I don't
believe it. Anyway. One more paragraph! Let's see. Gotta
be words, that'll be the bulk of it. There better be an Academic
Discussion tonight. If there's not, there'll be Hell to pay. I'ma
knock some music out of the park. Haven't done an open mic in three weeks,
but I'll be able to do the Monday Open Mics for a week or two in advance
of show potentially. That's how that goes. Anyway, I'll see ya later
Hey I'm Here. AT computer. Inside home.
Several hours later. I think I've made myself clear. So much
has changed!! 1)One of the potential pre-show open mics is no good-- it's
on Christmas Day! No gouda. 2)Academic Discussion was a bust!
It was okay but we mainly just talked about our topics for final paper.
Which I had none. 3)... That's pretty much it. Oh, figured
out I wasn't gonna figure out a great Part II to the title. Just went with
some throwaway title. Which is good. I like Throwaway Titles.
I have a song that's Title is Throwaway. I'll probably play that one at
Man, that paragraph took 60 seconds. I don't believe
it. Oh, 4) Mom's Muffins got all flattened out. Such is
life. Anyway. See you in Hell, reading paragraphs and typing them
up! And by In Hell I mean Next Week. Good to have
stuff to look forward to. Get aload of these baseballs, am I right?
It's truly one of those I don't care who wins, as long as everybody had a
good time. I ain't being sarcastic you dolt. Anyway, crap and
crap. Gotta be like the seventh paragraph or some shit. Eight.
I'm ammending my hypothesis to eight. ...Let's see! Time to
count. I can't wait. This is gonna be good. It was eight!
So, great, yup. Nows the ninth. I used
my powers of deduction for that one. Crap and carp, I don't know. I
believe we're watching Get Out next week in AAL Class. Spooky.
Hmm. Whatever. So now I have a real thing to look forward to!
I don't believe it. I even had the thought, maybe by that time in eight or
nine weeks, I could have 10 new songs to hand out to people. It'll be a
real Listen to my songs moment. I'd have to find some good malware
to infect their computers, though. That's a given. Also, it's a new
week! Compared to last weeks. And weeks before then.
Used my powers of deduction for that one! I'm a regular
Mr. Bucket I am. Maybe chow down on some primo chicken nuggets tonight.
Sounds okay. Tenth paragraph! I don't know. Tomorrow is
Halloween. Whatta jip. Turns out I don't care anymore. I don't
like the immediacy of these indictments. We're forced to come into a
common collective mindset of Holy shit this is what's really going on as we
speak? Not a fan! Anyway. I was talking to Professor,
telling him Coates was interviewed on a podcast from The Intercept, and I was
like, they're a good news website. And he was like, it's a 'Good
News' Website? They only tell you Good News? And our
Best-Friend-ship was solidified.
Jeez. I don't know. 11th paragraph. I got
that going for me. SNL is back this week! And they had an animated
special this past week! The best part was when it turns out it was
actually a sequel to last years show. Damn, ruined the ending.
Live and learn, that's what I say. The animation and the characters and
the jokes were charming. How delightful! Love me some Charm.
Crap and crap. I'ma play the crap out of 11 songs. People won't know
what to think. Positive stuff, though, they'll know intuitively.
Based on their powers of deduction, and whtnot. Crap and crap.
12th paragraph. You know an entry is going good when
each paragraph starts off with what paragraph it is. The point is there's
a point in the newer Poltergeist where the Dad picks up a pizza for dinner while
the Mom has already made chicken nuggets and the Dad eats a slice of pizza with
chicken nuggets on it and It Was Terrifying. I had pizza today... and
am going to eat chicken nuggets later. Holy Crap. Happy
Halloween, Everybody! Anyway, what the what. Chicken Nuggets are
scary because they heat up so quickly and you eat them so quickly and they
become ghosts. Also, you leave 'em in the microwave too long, become a
weird texture and more or less inedible.
So Much Halloween. Jeez. 13th paragraph. I
also kind of find it Spooky when people from the Sidewalk Coffee treat me with
respect. The person who runs it, the other regulars... seems like
they're planning some elaborate Carrie-esque type prank on me. That
would be my guess. Hey, at least someone's thinking of me!
Carrie can't be too upset-- what about the weird girl that nobody even
contemplates duping into going to the prom and... well, don't wanna give away
the ending. Anyway. I don't know, crap and crap. Every
jerkoff who goes into Split, either consciously or subconsciously thinking,
I'm the best Mr. Bucket in the room, I'ma figure this one out before everyone
else, their main thought is, I Bet Split is everyone.
Would they be right? I forget. No spoilers.
Jeez. Crap and crap, 14th paragraph. Do I have any alternatives
to chicken nuggets. Hmm. No reduced fat turkey to make a sandwich.
Don't want a frozen breakfast sandwich, those aren't good. Too late for
delivery. May have a Lean Pocket in the freezer. I could have 1 Lean
Pocket +5 Chicken Nuggets. Already had pizza. Lean Pocket is like
Pizza But Worse. Hmm. I've given myself a lot to think ab-- Hey
what about a bagel w/ creak cheese or butter?! Now that would be an
interesting mix-em-up. Or, Ten Kit Kats. Hmm. Given me a lot
to think about. Butter is good because you're like I shouldn't be
eating this but you are.
15th paragraph. Idea for new brand of butter-- I
Can't Believe It's Butter! And the product is butter. I'm full
of great ideas. That joke distracted me from poker and I lost 50 cents.
Where Is Justice. If they let you make 10 Undo's an hour in poker,
I think everyone would be a lot happier. That's how I feel. I'm
drinking a can of beer. Have been since I started transcribing the first
part of Entry. Just lettin' everyone know so we're on the same page.
Jeez. Read 80 pages of Bleak House for tomorrow. Come up with some
bullshit that could potentially be an Essay and find 3 potential sources.
Not too bad. It's Stuff, and I Can Do Stuff.
16th paragraph. I don't know. I'll show them
for taking my 50 cents. I'm gonna call every raise until I get
something, and then it's payback time! That's how Poker goes.
And then they fold when I hit a set. Probably. Usually how that
goes. I can't wait till they have me up on the Sidewalk Coffee Calendar.
It's like I'm the Bees Knees or something. Or The Bee Gees.
Something along those lines. Just called preflop... hit a set on flop.
Gonna get maximum value for this one!!!! What else. Hey, I got
good value. Good for me! Anyway, what the what. The point is I
can predict the very-near future.
Whew. Good to have some skill. That way I can do
stuff when winning Nobel Prizes aren't paying off financially the way I thought
they might. 17th paragraph. Very Bad at cutting bagels in half,
though. That part sounds not great. Anyway, what the what.
How much of online poker is knowing what to do immediately, but waiting an exact
estimation of time that would hypothetically induce the response you want.
My guess? 99%. What else is going on. Crap and crap,
would be my guess. What else is going on. I think George
Stephanopoulos should release a public statement saying That Guy Who Was
Indicted Isn't Me. I Swear It.
That's how I would go. Anyway, crap and crap.
I can fuckin' have a bagel with 4 chicken nuggets. What is this
obsession with chicken nuggets. I don't know, you tell me.
Gotta get maximum value out of these chicken nuggets. Carp.
Fifth paragraph in 8 days I believe. Knockin' some bullshit out of the
park. Two and a half paragraphs to go. Let's see how that turns out.
Bagel and 4 chicken nuggets sounds divine. Anyway, crap and crap.
Gotta finish entry first. Thems the rules. Anyway, today happened.
There was classes and libraries and emails and everything. Whatta day.
2 to go! Paragraphs. Not days. Let's get on
the same page. I'm up 53 cents in poker as of now. Let's keep it
that way-- or more!-- by the time the entry is over. That's my strategy.
I don't know. What the what. Damnit, I lost 35 cents because
you were distracting me again! What's your problem?! Anyway,
what the what. I'ma play my electric guitar clean. I'ma play it
distorted. I may even play it with a digital amp that makes it sound like
a bhass guitar. It's gonna be wild is the point. I wonder if John
Ritter's Actual Actor Son was influenced by the Problem Child movies at all in
his upbringing. Oh well, life is full of mysteries.
Last paragraph! And I'm still 15 cents up! I
don't believe it. GOT AK in SB BRB. WON the blinds + a 4 cent bet
Back. Anyway, jeez. What's going on. Crap and crap, closin'
it up. Another day, another Nobel prize earned. Sidewalk Coffee
doesn't even have an Open Mic on Christmas. They're closed completely.
What Chumps, is this point. Been a while since I was in I'ma Open Miker
Music Guy mode. Getting back into it sounds great. Got nothin'
else going on. Plus, people there pretend to respect me. Love it.
I'll see ya later.
Saturday, October 28, 2017
Lets Go Entry
Hello friends and frenemies. Which is when Fran Drescher is your enemy.
Jeez. Reached a 'Jeez' at record setting pace! So I got that
going for me. Saw The Snowman today. No disorienting shots
breaking the cardinal rule of filmmaking. At least, not that I noticed.
All in all it sure was almost an adequate movie. Anyway, what the what.
I guess in Movies, this has been the decade of Lets Not Stop Making Super
Hero Movies. Whereas, the 2000's were the decade of Let's Not Stop
Making Will Ferrell Movies. And Will Ferrell-adjacent movies.
Basically movies inspired by Will Ferrell.
I can't wait to see the movies of the 2020's! My guess
is they'll all be written by AI. About time. Anyway, jeez.
Baseball in a couple of hours. I wouldn't lie to you, not to your face.
Still got Poker going on. Alright! Tomorrow some reading.
Monday, sure there's the bullshit of activating Library Database, but there'll
be two Academic Discussions. With a decent chance I get to talk about
Palindromes to someone. So that's what I got going on. Things I
already said yesterday. Anyway. Movie started off adequately but by
the end I didn't care what was going on. Like My Life, I guess.
Third paragraph! All Movie, I was just fantasizing
about writing an Entry and Playing Poker. And now, here I am, Living The
Dream! Like My life, I Guess. I Do. You should too!
Jeez. I just lost 50 cents! There goes Liking My Life.
Back into My Life Is Bullshit mindset. Anyways. Gonna watch
Split with Mother later tonight! Whatta Horror. Tilps.
That settles that. I have no idea what I'm doing here. The scenary
was nice in The Snowman. That's pretty good. I like seeing pretty
Ext.(eriors)s. It's Movie Lingo, you wouldn't get it. One
actor says to another, Meet me Ext. Starbucks, we'll take a walk.
That scenario is unrealistic. Nobody walks in Los Angeles, which is where
Actors live. I heard about it in a Comedy Routine probably.
Gotta hear about things somewhere. Maybe Actors just
don't like to work. Too much pressure to Act while they're walking.
Sounds difficult. Sometimes when I'm urinating at night, I don't turn the
light on in the bathroom, so when I look at the mirror, everything's dark, and I
can't even out my own figure. So it looks like I'm looking in the mirror
and there's no me. Love It! Sounds like a symptom of some
psychological problem. Sure Does! Lucky me. Anyway, Fourth
Paragraph. Gotta do something. My Absolute Favorite Halloween Memory
was, I was watching Nickelodeon: The Channel, one Halloween, probably around
1995-1998, and they had a deal where you could call in, and if you win and they
take your call, you get to choose which show they play next. And they had
a graphic, of a neighborhood where each house is a different potential show, and
when they choose your show, they animate going up to the house and entering the
door. Which is Halloween Themes, Somehow?
I don't have all the details.
I just lost 40 cents. Where is Justice? Anyway,
what the what. It's Halloween Themed cause of Trick 'r Treating I guess.
That has to go with going up to houses. Did encourage people the wrong
way, though. You go up to a house for candy, then you say Play Hey
Arnold! and they don't know how to proceed. Jeez. What else.
I never liked Hey Arnold! Not my cup of tea. Wouldn't they have
had to have that animation done in advance? Maybe the whole thing was
rigged. They could have had eight different animations. And they
play the one for real. Let's give 'em the benefit of the doubt.
My Childhood Was A Scam, is the point. I don't
know. Sixth paragraph. How about that. There was a
sentence with a different font a little bit ago. I don't know why.
Microsoft FrontPage insisted I wanted to change the font, and who am I to argue.
Just some guy, with a website, for reasons no one is really sure about.
What else. My guess is to impress the ladies. I make
you laugh. That's pretty good. Potentially. I assume a 'C'
range block of comedy is all you want or need in life. Wait, no, I'm
thinking about my life. Damnit! The point is what else is
crap. Got Coffee on Way Home From Movie. Now we're talking Great
Saturday. My Mom is okay, though. I can't stress that enough.
Seventh Paragraph. Not so much stuff about Snowmen in
that movie. Such is life. I don't think I've ever made a Snowman.
At least not on purpose. Huh? I'm thinking about having
Jeez and Huh in limited, yet important roles. Jeez comes
after, and only comes after some not-funny bullcrap. Or, potentially,
before. Huh? comes after, or before, not-funny bullcrap that
particularly makes even less sense than regular not-funny bullcrap. So I
got that plan going on in my Head. What else is crap. Mickey
Calloway says he's gonna make the mets Throw More Curveballs. I'm on board
with that. In fact, I don't think he could have said anything else that
would make me even more on board with his crap.
Eighth paragraph! What the what. What The What
seems like it should be a regulated transitional phrase, too. Oh Well,
Live and Learn. Live And Learn, too. Oh well, live and learn.
That's part of becoming a Great Writer. Employ your Transitional Phrases
very deliberately. Anyway. I can just imagine Charles Dickens
scribbling Mr. Bucket on a napkin and laughing himself silly. Gotta
imagine something, I guess. Sometimes I listen to Real Music and think to
myself, My Music Doesn't Sound Like That. Hmm. Really gives
me a lot to think about. Got left-over Veal Parmesan and Spaghett for
dinner tonight. Whatever. Won 35 cents! Now we're
talking Great Saturday.
Ninth paragraph. Lots of Paragraphs to still write!
Great Saturday. Things just keep getting better and better!
Anyway, what the what. Man I love me some Academic Discussions. If
only I could combine Academic Discussion with winning 35 cents per Academic
Discussion. Jeez. Huh? Snowmen played very little part in the
movie. Oh well. Not all movies can be Jack Frost.
Either one. See if I care. Ebert wrote a funny review of the Comedy
Jack Frost. I'ma look it up online and give you a quote if it's real good.
BRBs. I looked it up but don't have it in me to read the five
paragraphs. Wow. What else.
Tenth paragraph. Jeez. They can't all be C+'s.
Gotta have some C-'s in there, too. Law of Averages. I may or
may not know what that phrase actually means. Basically, if I was a movie,
Ebert would give me anywhere from One Star to Two and a Half Stars. I'll
take it! Most people don't get any stars. It's an honor just to be
criticized. What else. I don't know. Gonna have a Small
Portion of Alcohol. That'll raise my spirits. Hahhehah. That's a
spooky pun for halloween. I'm scared now. Alright I'm back now.
I faced my fears and whatnot and I'm feeling a lot better. Second Time I
was in Hospital, there was a cute girl about my age, and she drew me a picture
of a Hospital next to a body of water and apparently the inmate escaped and is
swimming. And she wrote the phrase Fight Off Your Demons, and in an
extended note about it, she said, ask me about the phrase Fight Off Your
Demons, it has a special meaning for me and maybe it will for you too.
Then I called her a month after Hospitalization (with number she gave me) and
So all in all, Yeah I'd say that was a good
hospitalization. Great. I don't know. Never found out what
it means to her, though. Such is life. 11th paragraph. Halfway
there most likely and whatnot. Listened to some Fats Domino a few nights
ago. Not bad. I can dig it. Has he ever stopped to think
maybe he was fat because he ate all the sugar? Probably not-- it's
nonsense. I like how they say, scientifically, artificial sweetener is
like 100-1000x as sweet as sugar. What Liars. Tastes equally
sweet. And that's why I don't believe in Global Warming.
Gotta not believe in something. And 'Myself' is already taken.
12th paragraph. I don't know. I like how the
common person who doesn't believe in global warming, their defense is, I'm
not a scientist, so I don't personally know. Yeah, but you know how to
read-- right? And you place trust in people who are scientists,
potentially? Why not educate yourself on perhaps the most important thing
in the world we can enact policy on. Seems like it couldn't hurt, right,
that's my position. Yeah, but then I'd have to read, they might
say. Well, can't argue with that. Ironclad argument. Ironclad,
hmm. Really makes you think. What else is going on.
13th paragraph. It's possible the Twist Ending of Split
is that M Night wants us to leave when its over. Because of Shut Up I'm
Entry Writing Leave Me Alone. I thought about it, and I'm 85% sure I never
sexually harassed anyone. Up from my 70% estimation last entry. So I
got that going for me. I've harassed people, sure. Pretty sure not
sexually. But then again, What Else Is Going On. And the Harassing
was probably limited to members of my family. And We're All Friends Now,
so it's all good. Mom is Okay now, though. Can't stress that enough.
Jeez Huh? I guess. I don't know. Also, please don't
misread this paragraph. Never Sexually Harassed members of my family.
I can't stress that enough!!!
14th paragraph. Cursing someone out is harassment,
right? That's what I'm thinking of. Anyway, what the what.
Doing pretty good in a Freeroll besides playing 1/2 cent poker. Can
potentially win fuckin' 19 extra cents. I knew my life wasn't being
wasted!!! Anyway, jeez. Lot's of triple exclamations lately.
Good stuff. I don't know. There's Baseball to be going on behind my
back in 40 minutes. I can't wait! Sure! Jeez. My Mom is
okay now, though. Really. Still on the percocet I believe. Net
Win for Her! What else. Gonna have another Small Portion of Alcohol.
In Five Minutes. Gotta wait until the Poker Table is On Break!
That's the Adult thing to do. I might get a good hand in the next five
minutes. Then where would we be.
15th paragraph. Jeez. I don't want this to
ever end! Well, eventually. I'd get bored at some point.
If it's true that when you go to Hell, your punishment is always ironic in
regards to how you lived your life, I may have to write Crazysheet nonstop for
the rest of eternity. That's kind of a downer. Oh well, such is
Death. "If it's true that when you go to Hell..." I'm guessing it's
not true. Because that doesn't exist. Oh well. My religious
leanings became apparent there! I don't have time to think about that
these days. Too busy with winning 20 cents every now and then and having
Academic Discussions. Anyway, crap and crap. Alright I'm Back.
Imagine you just died, and you found out you're going to Hell. Whatta
Bummer! This is gonna suck!!!
You'll be thinking something along those lines.
Great! What else. 16th paragraph. What the what. Maybe
my Hell will be demons pretending to be my family Cursing Me Out. Oh, no.
Anyway. Crap and crap. Five paragraphs to go I guess. I don't
know. If anything, sugar is sweeter than artificial sweeteners. I
call shenanigans. Now, I'm no nutritionist, so I don't know for sure...
What else is crap. If only Americans paid as much attention to the climate
as they do to their caloric intake. Which is not that much, but still a
step in the right direction. What else is going on.
17th paragraph! Wow. When I'm done writing here,
there's still fun to be had! I can read my reading ahead of time.
That's fun, because when I'm done, I feel good about myself. OMG Mr
Bucket LMAO That Has To Go In The Book. Whatta dolt.
Anyway, crap and crap. Closing in on winning 19 cents in Freeroll.
And all I had to do was lose 80 cents at 1/2 cent table while playing the
freeroll! What else. Three and a half paragraphs to go.
Saturday Entry! I don't believe it. Hit a Wall this paragraph.
Not literally. Although I did once Hit a Wall. Harassment of the
wall, you could say.
I don't know. I shouldn't make light of harassment.
It's bad for people. Not a fan. Crap and crap. Jeez.
Whatta entry. Made me feel good for a while. Then stopped making me
feel good. That's where I'm at right now. Live and learn. Hey,
I get to eat dinner later. That's a fun activity. I got that going
for me and whatnot. I finally get to see how Unbreakable II may happen.
I'm a big Unbreakable Fan. Sometimes I watch the final scene, I Shoulda
Known, Because of the kids! They Called me Mr. Glass with the score
playing over it. Great Stuff. Anyway, crap and crap. Two more
paragraphs to go.
19! What else. I get to make it to 10/29/2017
tonight, most likely. Don't wanna count my eggs before they're chickens,
but that would be probable. You can count your chickens before they're
hatched. How many times does an egg hatch and there's no chicken.
Can't be very often. That's what my imagination leads me to believe.
Made 19 cents!!! And potentially more. I don't believe it!
Jeez. It's like a women giving birth, and she pushes and pushes, and,
Hey look, there's nothing. And the doctor and lady look at each other
and are like, Hey, that's weird. What else is crap. Zero
pissing on floor since I brought it up here. Sometimes I don't flush the
toilet, though. When urination is all that occurred. Whose got
I'm a weird guy. Anyway. If it's yellow, let
it mellow. That's what I picked up from life. Next tier of Freeroll
is making 23 cents. I don't believe it. Probably gonna start playing
very loose after I finish this entry. Either go big or go home, that's
what I picked up from life. Hey, I saw a movie today.
Something to do with snowmen. I remember from the title. I don't
know, crap and crap. Made 23 cents. Such is life and whatnot.
Let's see, close it up, close it up. Ah, who cares. I'll see ya
Friday, October 27, 2017
Top Ten Titles
Hello. Not sure what that means. Probably nothing. Perfect.
Crap and crap, hey! It's the Weekend. I get time off from crap and
whatnot. Seeing a movie tomorrow. What movie? I don't know!
Get Off My Back! November coming up. That's the month the JFK
assassination occurred. They just released that information yesterday, I
think. Before, nobody knew! Jokez. How is that a
joke? I don't know. Get Off My Back About It! My theory is
that the CIA had him killed because they thought he wouldn't be good at Improv
once he graduated from being president. Prove me wrong! Anyway,
I don't know. This Entry is off to a solid 'C' range
start. Which, taking all things into consideration, is an A+. That's
my feeling about things. What else. Lost most of my Poker money, but
may have enough to get it back up. That's a thing. What else.
I don't know. Gonna see an Advisor next week. An Academic
Advisor! To advise me in regards to my academics. That sort of crap.
Jeez. I'll get in a good zone soon, promise. World Series is
going on. I'm rooting for the baseballs. I don't know. Jeez.
I've got over 5 dollars on poker. Have Ya'll Ever Seen Five
Dollars? Thinking about bringing up my Nemo/Omen revelation to teacher
before class starts Monday. This is important information she needs to be
Jeez. Third paragraph. Took a Ritalin. Time
to Power Through Some Bullshit And Make It Adequate. AKA My life's
pursuit. Anyway. Baseball is going on behind my back. Not
a fan. Stupid Bibliography due on Wednesday for essay I don't even know
what I'm gonna write about yet. May not have mentioned that
assignment yet. Okay, just to bring everyone up to speed-- stupid
bibliography due Wednesday for essay I don't even know what I'm gonna write
about yet. Ok? We al on the same page? Now that we are,
let me reiterate, now that you know what I'm talking about, stupid
Bibliography due on Wednesday for essay I don't even know what I'm gonna write
about yet. I've narrowed it down to Not Talking about Warwick Davis
And/Or Peter Dinklage.
So that's progress, right? Now that I know there's
a Bibliography involved, I theoretically have to write about something there's
academic articles on. Anyway, jeez. What about Willy Wonka's
Bullshit. That was a popular book and/or movie. Some academics may
have written about Oompa Loompas. Or the Seven Dwarves. That's
another possibility. Or, don't write about dwarfism. But if I
don't write about dwarfism, then the Heightists win!
Something like that. I don't have all the details yet. Watched The
Meyerowitz movie last night. All the guys in that are (relatively) short.
Dustin Hoffman-- short. Ben Stiller-- short. Adam
Sandler-- doesn't matter.
That's my review of the film. There we go. My
favorite part was the scene where they break the cardinal rule of film making
and go from shooting over Adam Sandler's right shoulder to shooting over his
left. Really disorienting stuff. I give it three out of five
disorientings. What else. Fifth paragraph. I don't believe it.
They also broke the second most cardinal rule of film making-- make short
people look taller. I give it three out of five things. What
else is going on. Houston is winning At Baseball. Three out of five
Gotta do at least 10 paragraphs, right? That's
precedent and crap. I don't know. This has gotta be the sixth
paragraph. Jeez. Friday. Did my reading for Monday.
Gonna do my reading for Wednesday before Monday. So I can do my
Bibliography for Wednesday for Wednesday. Anyway. No Guitar Fixed.
No response from Sidewalk Coffee. Houston knocking some hits out of the
park. Not literally. Figuratively. Their hits are physically
inside the park. I can write my 25 page AAL Paper on my theory that they
put the African American Literature Classroom in the worst building, with the
worst chairs, if not on purpose, then as a consequence of a flawed system.
And how that's Racism.
It's a legitimate theory. I stand by that.
Apparently George HW Bush sexually touches women while making a pun of David
Copperfield and saying David Cop-a-Feel. Now, yeah, he's 140 years
old and looks harmless, so maybe our instinct is to laugh it off. But in
what reality does an ex-president, someone who seems pretty sane, think that
that's appropriate behavior. Not My Reality. The point
is people are terrible. What else is going on. I'm 90% sure I never
molested anyone. Comedy Job, please.
Eighth paragraph? Jeez. I'm 70% sure I never
sexually harassed anyone. No way of knowing, I guess. Hey, it's the
Eighth Paragraph! What the what. Split is on HBO this weekend.
I can't wait to see how it relates to Unbreakable! My guess is that it
does, tangentially. I hope its not just it ends with the Split Bad Guy
getting put into a mental hospital for the criminally insane and his new
roommate is Mr. Glass. Cause if it is... I don't have a
follow up to that threat. Anyway. I'd be more happy if it turns out
Split is a hidden sequel to Kingpin. Cause of Bowling Outcomes.
Ninth paragraph! Anyway. I understand Kingpin is
a pun about Criminal Bosses, but I always thought of it in terms of Pin Head.
He's the King Pin Head. Which is weird, because that pun requires
adding a word. Can't argue with the results, though! Anyway.
Woody Harellson is on Bill Maher tonight. My guess is they talk about
marijuana. Just a guess. There was a Marijuana Poll this week that
51% of Republicans support legalization. 75% or so of Democrats,
60-something% Independents, and a majority of Republicans! The point is
Give me some drugs RIGHT NOW. I don't know. Pretty sure if it's
legalized, that would take away the common side-effect of paranoia. It's
only compounded, or enhanced if you will, by the idea that it's in fact
illegal as of your paranoia episode.
Tenth paragraph! Wow. Kingpins aren't gonna be
happy about an illegal drug being legalized. They make money from
these sorts of endeavors is my opinion. It will increase the amount and
the severity of Pin Heads, though. That's my hypothesis. Also,
is it possible that Hellraiser is evil just because he's been called Pinhead
one too many times and takes it out on people with violence? I'd say Yes.
Anyway, what the what. Hellraiser is about Paul Reiser, right?
And Paul Reiser is a thing? I don't know. Jeez. Seth Rogen
is only six years older than me. I think that means, technically, I should
have made my own Knocked Up as early as 2012.
Five more paragraphs of nonsense seems about right. And
I should have been in Freaks and Geeks in 2005? I don't have all the
details of How The World Works. Anyway, what else is going on. I
feel like I want to play Dungeons and Dragons. In theory, at least.
In practice, seems kinda boring. But I like the idea of Doing Something.
I turn 29 in 6 weeks. I blame Time. Anyway, crap and crap. Was
Knocked Up, in reality, made in 2007? That would be my guess.
Anyway, crap and crap. Got Somethin' To Do tomorrow! I don't believe
it. Gotta choose which mediocre Horror movie to see, though. Sounds
scary. What if it turns out the Horor Man from one movie is friends with
the Horror Person from the other movie? They they take over the theater
and it's all downhill from there.
Jeez. I feel like I got a point in the Middle of
Entry where it was okay. Now I'm back to the first few paragraphs of a
dejected, resigned, Jeez. What else. My Dad is a Great
Teacher and likes movies about Teaching and has never seen School of Rock.
Whatta jip. Anyway. Mom is okay. I can't stress that enough!
Jeez. Activate QCard at Library Monday. See Advisor on Wednesday.
Then, smooth sailin'. I never went sailing. I went on a boat
once but fell off on purpose and almost got lost in the ocean inadvertently.
I blame You for some reason. 12th paragraph? Great. Good
news-- since last entry, absolutely 0 pissing on carpet in bathroom. I
feel like I've turned a corner.
13th paragraph! I don't believe it. Whatta 'C'
range entry! Sure, it could be a C-. But it could just as easily be
a C+!!! I crunched the numbers and everything. I don't know. I
think the reason Trump makes inappropriate 'Big People' jokes around kids (Boy
Scout Convention, Trick or Treaters recently) is he wants to impress them.
That's my Hypothesis. I could continue that Line of Potential Joke, but
whose got the time. I got cents to win and/or lose! In Poker.
Jeez. Crap and crap. Almost November. Can you believe it's
this warm? #I'mStartingToNoticeATrend. Man, if that hashtag
takes off, it would be the sweetest thing. Cause it would turn into a pun!
One can dream, right? Probably. I do it all the
time, at least. Usually involving having to take another class of Middle
and/or High School. Anyway, what the what. Watched the second
episode of Sarah Silverman Presents: The Sarah Silverman Show with my Mom.
No frontal nudity in this one, which is a plus. Plus, my Mom's interest in
the show corresponds to mine in a lot of things-- Pretty much pot committed
at this point. Anyway, what the what. She's okay now, though.
Can't stress that enough. Apparently Trump was probably on Meth in the
80's. Saw a Doctor who was known to just prescribe drugs to people who
wanted them. And I believe his specialty was meth. Is that just me
speculating? Yep. Try and stop me!
What the what. 15th paragraph. Feels like I
can go for 20 at this point, but who knows for sure. What else.
Baseball still going on behind my back. I check it every now and then.
That's how that goes. I don't know. Today's Entry is no Monday
Entry, that's for sure. But for a Friday Night Entry, which don't happen
all that often, I think it's got it's own charm going for it and whatnot.
Hey, new Weezer Album came out this morning! It's pretty good. I'm
still at the stage of appreciating it more or less on a song-by-song basis,
which is to say, I appreciate it as a whole, but recognize it on a song-by-song
basis. I'm sure after listening to it as an album several times, I'll
start recognizing it as a complete-finished product-album. These are
16th paragraph. Five to go! Damn, that means
this'll be over. And I'll have nothing to do for 14 hours. The point
is What Else Is Going On. Sometimes I think about Weezer Albums, ones that
aren't self-titled and known by the color of the Album Art, and ascribe colors
to them, if they had been named Colors. Maladroit could have been Black.
Raditute could have been Orange. So that's where I'm at in life these
days. Not really these days. These thoughts were most prevalent
1-2 years ago. The point is what else is going on.
Four paragraphs to go most likely. What the what.
Assuming the Astros or Dodgers win tonight, this'll set a world record for
consecutive World Series Games in which somebody won. Jeez.
Back to the nonsense. What the what. Anyway. I was down as low
as a dollar fifty in Poker. Back up to over 6! The point is Anything
Can Happen When You're Playing Poker. What else is going on. There's
a 5% chance they decided to Draw a World Series Game in the past century.
Maybe higher. I don't know! Anyway, crap and crap. Also, you
can't count World Series Games that never occurred. That's a rule.
18th paragraph. What else. Closing in on 3 weeks
since I played Live Music. Oh well. Semester is probably more than
half over. Then I can waste my life doing open mics again. It's
not a Waste, I'm Networking you dolt! I guess I'm the Dolt in
this scenario. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Crap and crap.
But, seein' advisor, I'll know for sure if I'm done after this, or if I gotta do
another semester. There's also the chance I need to take one more class,
but can do it during the Winter. So three outcomes in regard to that
nonsense. I like pouring out ashes from my ashtray into the garbage
without thoroughly making sure none are lit. I'll take my chances.
Need some excitement in life, right?
19th paragraph. Jeez. Whattado. Once I fall
asleep, I got stuff to do. Being Asleep takes up a lot of time. Then
there's only a couple of hours of being awake before I see movie with friend!
Then, back to nothing. That is, until I fall asleep again... That's Where
I'm At In Life At This Point. What else. I don't know. One and
a half paragraphs to go. Then, smooth sailin'. I've never
been sailing. Probably. That's how I feel about things. Fell
off a boat once. Possibly on purpose. Jeez. What else.
Last paragraph! It's about Time. I started this
entry a little after Baseball Began. Comin' up on 2 hours here. And
almost done! I don't believe it! Who can forget those several
paragraphs in the middle that weren't a complete waste of yours and mine time.
Also, made money back on Poker! All in all, it was a real 'B' range night.
I'll catch ya later.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
So I Says To My Website I Says
Hello. What's up. Wednesday Entry. Had afternoon class.
Made some real 'B' range comments. So I'm home now. To start Entry.
Hey, got Halal Food on my way home! Get to eat that crap later.
That'll show 'em. Dreamt a song Monday Night. I forget most of it
except for the title. Which is good. All I want from Dreams. I
ain't gonna write songs in my dreams, that's cheating. I didn't even think
of them, my dreams did. I'll take a Title, though. I feel like
that's fair. Anyway, what else is going on. The title wasn't that
good. Jeez. I don't know. Had fun watching The Presidents
raise money for something. I don't remember what, but they got great
chemistry. Oughtta form an Improv Group.
That's what four friends do, right? They have no other
option. World Series started. There must be some Sabermetric
Measuring where they keep track of how many Baseballs were used per game.
Someone's gotta be keeping track of that. I wanna know how that's been
progressing over time. I wanna know a lot of things. Like, for
example, That Thing I Just Said. Still playin' Poker. That's pretty
good. Baseball Game yesterday was the Hottest World Series Game ever.
When our children ask us what it was like to live in a world before we tried to
fight Global Warming, we can go, Well, we kept taking notice of how much
hotter it was than previously. That should have been our first clue.
I feel like that's a common conversation topic, without
bringing up Global Warming. The past five years at least. Can you
believe its this weather at this point in time?! YES. I'M
STARTING TO NOTICE A TREND. That should have been our first
clue. How did you know Global Warming Was Happening. BECAUSE
IT WAS FREAKIN' GETTING WARMER. Thank you, thank you. Your
welcome, your welcome. Is it Your Welcome or You're Welcome. Pretty
sure it's Your Welcome, but you are welcome, so I don't know. Jeez,
crap and crap.
I don't know. What the what. Tomorrow will be
Three Weeks since I took Guitar In To Get Fixed. He said 2-3 weeks.
Great. Won't be able to get it immediately anyway, gotta be a good day for
my Dad to drive me. Anyway, what the what. You are welcome. I
saw something I loved in School. In building my classroom is in, there was
a door to a closed room, with creepy Halloween-esque KEEP OUT!
sign, decorated all spooky and horrorshowlike. Then, under it, a laminated
piece of paper that says OPEN. They wanted the creepy KEEP OUT sign
for fun, but people were taking it too literally! They needed to let
people know it was, in fact, Open.
So that was fun. I don't know. What else is going
on and crap. Fifth paragraph. I don't know. Learnt how to play
Happy Birthday on my Guitar App on my phone. Music is weird to me.
It's the same 12 notes over and over, but you play em in a different order, to a
different rhythm, suddenly you got unique music. I don't get it. Oh
well, what else is crap. Mom is still doing okay. I talked to her
about it and everything. No complaints. Crap and carp. Had
another Goof-Em-Up thought for Future Entry last night, but didn't write it down
and I forgot what it was. I don't know. I should get into some goof-em-ups
to say right now. Made a really good Spell-em-Backwards today but
didn't get to say it in class. Monday, there's a character in Bleak House
named Nemo, which we're told means No One in Latin. And teacher was
asking us about what that name makes us think of, and she wanted that answer,
even though we are already aware of it if we read the book. Well, he's the
guy who dies of the Opium Overdose, and it starts a Mystery-Type Plot in the
book. Realized today, you spell-em-backwards, it says Omen!
Man, if I had realized that when she asked about the name, she'd think I'm the
most cleverest guy there ever was. As it is, my comments are in the 'B'
range in practice, and in the 'A' range in factuality.
...Which is a real word. Good for me. And
you. It's good for all of us. One more word that we can use at our
disposal. That's a net win for everybody! Idea for sketch for The
Presidents-- they're all playing the Animatronic versions of themselves.
Comedy Job, Please. You figure out where the humor comes from.
I thought of the premise, that's the hard part. I think part of Getting
Along Together Like Champs, for The Presidents, is really just to stick it to
Donald Trump. They'll never let him in their club. Maybe he'll get
the message and resign. Find himself an occupation where people tolerate
his sort of crap.
Anyway, huh. Seventh paragraph. Amazing.
It's a good thing Trump is appointing people to the EPA who aren't interested in
Science or Facts, but have ties to the oil and other harmful industries.
That's a relief. To me, that's an impeachable offense right there.
But who am I to say. I think we've established I can't make a Citizen's
Impeachment. I don't know. Despite the plethora of bullshit, day in,
day out, week in, week out, month in, month out, we are nine months into
this catastrophe of Trump Presidency. I don't think he'll make it to 2020,
so nine months is a pretty long time. Getting closer all the time.
Eighth Paragraph? I can dig it. I like the
Facebook On This Day app, because I get to see all my mania-induced
Comments To Myselves from 2010. Those were fun. I even am able to
read them 10% of the time. I know it'll just be upsetting, but upsettment
be damned! Crap and crap. Probably wait till I'm done with the Entry
to eat food. I can dig it. Gettin' back on track with my diet.
To the tune of not gaining more weight but not losing it either. That's
halfway there is how I feel. Way I figured out Omen was cause I was
just doodling words backwards. I came across Omen and was like WOOOAH
NELLY I'VE HIT THE JACKPOT. But couldn't say anything. The
opportunity had passed.
Ninth paragraph. What the what. Finally my
leisure activity of Palindromes is almost paying off. If I had
realized that 48 hours earlier, I'd be the Cleverest Boy In Class! Anyway,
what the what. I don't know. Mom is okay. So I got that going
for me. What the what. New Weezer Album on Friday I think. I
like them. They do Songs and everything. Anyway, what the what.
I lost 50 cents in poker! WHY ME LORD. Anyway, no clue how many
paragraphs this'll be. Well, some clue. 10-30. But that's a
wide range of numbers. That's my opinion about things. One way to
root for The World Series is that All The Games End Quickly. If you're of
the opinion, these players and fans got things to do! So
yesterday's 2 and a half hour game was the most exciting and joyous game you've
So I got that going for me. I guess those people'll
have to root for a 4 game series. Can't figure out a scenario where that
line of thinking is also applicable to more games. I'll think about it and
keep you updated. Man, what was the thing I thought of last night.
It was a mediocre thing that I thought about tweeting, but was like, it's not
that good, I'll put it in Entry. And I forget it. 10% chance it
was President Improv Group, but I think I thought of that this morning.
Anyway, what the what. Pretty sure it wasn't that. don't know.
10th paragraph. Writing Entries is fun. Sure is Doin' Somethin'.
11th paragraph! I don't believe it. If Donald Trump was
in an Improv Class, I think he would try to play himself in every scene.
Imagine that. I did, for a few seconds. Then I got distracted by
Poker. So I forgot how to continue that line of goof-em-up. Anyway.
Steps out from the backline. I'm Donald Trump, And I Think You
Definitely Should Go To The Doctor... That's my first instinct for
what kind of scene would be going on. Someone may or may not have to go to
the doctor. So that's where I'm At In Life Right Now In My Mind. To
be fair, I pictured it more as Alec Baldwin Playing Trump Playing Trump.
12th paragraph. Apparently they're telling us about the
JFK assassination tomorrow. I was always of the opinion of, Sure
Probably Was Just Him. I never saw the movie, or lived through it, or
even thought about it, though. My first instinct was Probably What They
Say. I don't know. Crap and crap. I guess I'm just a very
trusting person. What else. I've had a disturbing development in my
experience microwaving things. Last few months, I leave it in the
microwave too long, everything becomes messed up. Used to be, you leave it
in too long, it just gets hot. Now, it messes with the texture and stuff
of the food, so that it's pretty much uneatable.
So I got That Going Against Me. What else. Saw
the new Child's Play Movie yesterday. Pretty scary stuff. It takes
place mostly in a Mental Hospital. That's Pretty Scary Stuff. Also,
what else is going on. I remember maybe a dozen dreams I've had from my
single-digit-ages, and one of them was I dreamt there was a six-foot Good Guy,
probably Chucky himself, but he was smiling and there was no threat of anything
bad happening. So there's that to consider. I don't know. Just
lost some money in Poker. That'll happen. Oh well, what else is
going on. I'm writing an Entry, though. So that's a net win.
14th paragraph. What the what. I don't know.
Try to get my reading done in the first half of the weekend than the second
half. That way it's all smooth sailing from there. Which I believe
is a Nautical Reference. There's a guy in Bleak House whose smart but
can't figure out what to do with his life. I relate to that for some
reason. Anyway. I like all sorts of career paths that are
essentially goofin' off! I've narrowed it down to not one of those
hopefully potentially c'mon please. I don't know. Jeez.
Maybe Open Mic this Saturday. Not sure yet. One thing's for sure--
The Open Mic On Saturday Will Occur. Real thing to consider, sometimes
Gotta consider somethings. I don't know.
Another good thing with being a Creative Guy At Work is it makes people think
you're smart. Smart enough to get paid for goofin' off?! I Don't
Believe It! Must be smart or something. Anyway, what else
is something. I can't wait till it's someone's birthday and I get the
chance to serenade them. With just the notes but not the chords.
They'll be out of their minds excited. Can play the tune to Happy
Birthday? Must Be Smart Or Something.
Anyway. I was Real Excited when Classmate thought the song was about
something. It's always been my dream for people to think my songs
were/are about something! Knockin' it out of the park.
16th paragraph. Wow. Can't wait till I'm Thin
again. I feel like I'm relatively attractive enough when I'm thin, shaven,
and had a haircut. When those planets align, I'm totally relatively good
enough in appearanceswise. I don't know. Plus, what else is going
on? Spoiler Alert coming up soon, but I don't like how in Cult of Chucky
there's multiple Chuckies. I'm invested in this character! Suddenly
there's more than one? I feel like I've wasted my life. Gettin'
invested in this character. Now there's more than one? I feel like
I've wasted my life. Gettin' invested in this character.
17th paragraph. I did like the scene where the grown-up
kid is just hanging out with a Chucky. Really warmed the heart.
I've mentioned before, probably multiple times, how I like the scene in Child's
Play III where Chucky notices Andy's porn. Finally they can relate to each
other as peers. Love it. They freakin' share a joint in this movie.
Wonderful! Let's get back on track. Chucky is a Bad Guy. We
shouldn't be friends with him. That's my official position on the matter.
Also, how come in this world where Voodoo is real, only Chucky is using it?
We learn that he's accessing his spells from the internet and stuff, so why
aren't other people having as much success as he's having at applying this
Doesn't add up. I don't know. Crap and crap.
Too many plot holes in a movie where a doll comes to life. That's my
feeling. Also, Child's Play I. What kind of boy wants a doll anyway?
Doesn't add up. Sometimes when I'm urinating at night, while in the phase
of trying to fall asleep, 19/20ths into the urination, I get bored with
urinating in the toilet and just start walking away. Finish on the carpet
on the bathroom. Now you know my deepest, darkest secret.
No foolin'! That's it! Anyway. Just talked to my Mom for 15
minutes. She's doing ok. I can't stress this enough.
19th paragraph. 25? Seems like a good number to
go for. It's a perfect square and whatnot. Which is what someone
called me in high school and made me want to start writing music to prove them
wrong. I don't know, crap and crap. I'm not joking-- that's my
deepest, darkest secret. Well, not deepest anymore. So I got that
going for me. That's where I'm at in my life. I gotta get back to
my room, I got sleepin' to do! Anyway, what the what. I don't
know. May need a new bottle of alcohol in a few weeks. 3 months
since the last one. I feel I can pitch that to my parents in a positive
way. Three months for one bottle, that's pretty good.
20th paragraph. What the what. The Chess Program
on my computer has a glitch where sometimes the Pawn can capture pieces that it
shouldn't be able to capture. My opinion is they should adjust the Rules
Of Chess to accommodate this aberration. Someone get me on the phone with
the chess police. I don't know, crap and crap. What the what.
I always thought they should slightly mix up games at the top level of
competition. Like, for chess, just have two top players play where for
some reason the rooks can move like queens. Just mix em up, see how the
top players deal. I'm full of great ideas like that. Like, I have
that idea for the 100 or 200 most popular games, where you can just make a small
change that effects it Bigly. That's a lot of ideas!
21st paragraph. I think sharing my deepest, darkest
secret will encourage me to stop doing it. Or do it more. Who
can tell at this point. Jeez. Only hear that kind of crap here.
What fun. Baseball Game is starting. I got no time for that.
I got sleeping to do! Except Entry Writing and Playing Poker instead
of sleeping. But when you think about it, What Is Sleep Anyway?
Not really. When you think about it, you still know what sleep is. I
hope so, at least. Anyway, what the what. At least 4 paragraphs to
go after this one. Maybe 9! Sounds great to me. I like Doin'
22nd. Wheeee. Turned on the Baseball Game, but
should have left the TV off now that I think about it. I don't like the
idea of Baseball Going On Behind My Back. Literally. That's the
set-up of my computer and TV in my room. Doesn't quite sit well with me
and stuff. People saying in class they read the book by listening to it in
Audible. No fair. Now they know where the jokes are judging by the
person reading it. I wanna know where the jokes are! Whatta jip.
Anyway, what else is going on and crap.
I don't know. What the what. What else. I
hope the Astros win tonight. It's not really fair to make The Astros play
on Earth. Seems like their home team advantage would be in space?
Doesn't add up. Anyway. Houston is the place on Earth closest to
space, right? That's why they put NASA there. That's my
understanding of things, at least. 23rd paragraph. Maybe two and a
half more. Wow. I don't know. My JFK conspiracy is that NASA
did it because he pledged to put a man on the moon but they really weren't
feeling up to it so they had to have him offed. Data seems to support
24th paragraph. What would Baseball be like if the two
starting pitchers decided to team up. Hmm. Made more sense in my
head. Makes sense if you assume both pitchers are Aces. Then,
they team up, the hitters have no chance. I don't know. That's where
I'm at in life these days. Also, hitters would have no chance. They'd have
to have position players pitch. No gouda. Pretty sure I have to pay
royalties every time I play Happy Birthday. That's how that Urban Legend
goes. I'm pretty sure every half-inning break, the players take the field
and all slap hands because both teams have won the opportunity to take a 2
Pretty sure, at least. Anyway, jeez. What else.
25th paragraph. Can easily stop now, or go for 30. And someone less
easily do an amount in between. What else. I guess something else
has to become my Deepest, Darkest Secret. Hmm. I'll give it some
thought. What would happen if a baseball game never ends. Seems like
they wouldn't be able to start the next day's baseball game(s). I don't
know. Building a Dome for a Stadium seems like it would be pretty hard.
Thatsa Lotta Dome. 25th paragraph shit. Alright. Bad part
about heating up Halal Food is I have to put it on a plate. Half the fun
is eating it out of the Styrofoam container. Whatta jip.
Maybe 5 more paragraphs. Maybe. Maybe.
Anyway. I used to go to Stuyvesant. I dream about it sometimes.
In the dreams, I still go to college, but also, I still need to finish
Stuyvesant. For some reason I need to go back to High School and finish
one class before I can graduate College. Whatta jip. Anyway, crap
and crap. Sometimes Middle School. I can't believe it. Anyway,
great. Maybe this is the last paragraph. Great. Would you
rather have the pitchers, or all the outfielders? Jeez.
What bullshit and crap. I'll see ya later.
Monday, October 23, 2017
I Got Titles Covered
Hey! I got a C+ on my Disabilities Paper! Because I didn't use the
MLA Database to access my source! She's a tough grader, and in the
comments she said it would be in the 'B' Range if not for that. And then
while talking to her after class, she said 'A' range! Good enough for me.
Who cares what grade I got, as long as the paper was impressive. Jeez.
Was in Hospital all weekend. Mom had her Gallbladder taken out.
She's okay. So I got that going for me. Plus, they gave her Percocet!
That's a net win for her. I guess. Back to the grind. The
point is I've Got Good Ideas And Don't Use Databases. That's what I'm all
Food in the near future. That's important. We
need nutrients for some reason. I don't have all the details. Maybe
get a beer for tonight and write a second half to the entry. I can't wait!
Bleak House is sledging along. I thought I might take another UCB Improv
Class after I graduate. Gotta do something. I think that's UCB
Improv Training Center's logline. Gotta Do Something! That'll
rake in the suckers (Editor's note-- sure I know what
Logline Means!) Apparently Trump is insensitive to people.
Stop The Presses! Insensitive is too benign a word. Trump needs
his own word. Nonsensitive? Malsensitive? I'll get back to you
Hey, got some Money on Poker! I won 11 dollars in a
Freeroll. Currently have over nine dollars. I figure it's reasonable
I can double up my bankroll each month. I'll be a billionaire by the time
I'm 30! That's a relief. Being in the middle of the pack in a 101
improv class isn't gonna pay the bills any time soon. Sure, it probably
will eventually. But I need money now. Jeez. Teacher remembers
my paper being in the 'A' Range when it was really a 'B'! Alright.
Making undeserved good impressions on people! Wow! I saw we're
watching Get Out in a few weeks in AAL class. I can dig it.
As long as we watch it with the Viewer's Commentary and its me talking to myself
Fourth Paragraph. I got that going for me. Should
start thinking about what to do with my 25 page paper for AAL class due in six
or seven weeks. Can I extend How I learnt To Not Be Racist from two
pages to 25? Probably! I'd have to run it by him first, though.
Hey may want a more academic paper for some reason. I don't know.
Been eating more lately. Hospital is Stressful Time. I'll get back
on track within a week or two probably. Seems like something that might
happen. I don't know what happened on Bill Maher because I was in Hospital
on Friday Night. Did he Solve Problems? He's the problem solver.
That's his catchphrase. Jeez. Mom is Okay. So we got that
going for me.
Fifth Paragraph. Whatta clunker. Last week the
entry got goin' during the part I wrote at home. That could happen again.
It happened once. That's a pretty good track record. Shuolda worn
sweatshirt jacket today. Just my luck. I almost wore a full metal
jacket but I was worried it would rain and my jacket would rust. Jeez.
That's life and stuff. I don't know. Probably getting back
Electric Guitar soon. That's a new thing to do with Life. Academic
Discussion in hour and a half, sweatshirts be damned! What else.
Fifth paragraph. Been playing poker less since I got money than I was
playing with play money. I don't want to lose it!
Makes sense. What. Sent an email last week to
Sidewalk Cafe asking for another set. We'll see if that pays off down the
line. Started watching White Famous. It's good because What's It
All About. Let's figure this one out. If you close your
eyes, it's just like it's normal people living their lives with comedy sprinkled
in! I can't believe it. What else. Hey, its the sixth
paragraph. I got that going for me. Cigarette Break at some point
over the next few paragraphs. Fhew. Homonyms. Let's
talk about it. It's like regular people, but the main character does a
Denzel Washington impersonation for 15 seconds! Also, supporting
characters are Cray. Ola. It's about color.
Don't know why that happened. I'd feel a lot better
about my life if I was wearing a sweatshirt jacket right now. Oh well.
Life is full of hardships. Like, what if you want five or six kids?
How do you fit them all into your car? Can't do it. Also, do you win
Life by getting to the end first? Makes sense to me. I guess.
Teacher wasn't angry about my paper or anything. We're still on good
terms. Anyway. In two months I'll probably be graduated. Then
I'll be like Wooooah Gotta Do Something. Makes sense to me.
Alright, smoked and got pizza. I find that most
of the time lately, I'm satisfied with 4/5ths of the cigarette. My
hypothesis is it comes from smoking cigarettes during Open Mic and wanting to
get back inside quickly. And that just stuck. Prove me wrong!
Good luck with that. Eighth paragraph. Wow. I put too much
Crushed Red Pepper on my Pizza. I blame you for some reason. What.
Jeez. I don't know. Mom is okay. Let's Get Along With Her From
Now On For Some Reason. This is the Lady who used to tuck me in at night.
I got nothin' but love for that.
Ninth paragraph. I don't know. Hospital Cafeteria
was pretty good. I got nothin' but love for cafeterias. I'm in one
right now! How about that. Dodgers against Astros. It's a
reliving of that old 1960's identity crisis for young men-- "Do I want to avoid
being drafted in Vietnam, or do I want to become an astronaut?"
Even today, I still don't know for myself. Wow. I guess get 10
paragraphs done here before I leave. I can dig that. Do I want to
be a Los Angeles or a Houston. Los Angeles has Movie Stars. But
Houston has Hurricane Survivors. It's a double question. Do I want to
be a Movie Star or a Hurricane Survivor?? And, Do I want to root
for Movie Stars or Hurricane Survivors. Alright. Last paragraph for
Whassup I'm Home Now. Night Class was
canceled! He totally was sick and crap apparently and I found out with
1/3rd of the class when class was about to start. So I got that working
against me. Now how am I supposed to know how African Americans feel
this week. I can't put all my eggs into the White Famous basket
of interpreting race relations this week and not have any reference points from
Real Life. I don't know. Jeez. What the what. The good
news is I got no reference point for a second title! Whatta jip.
Anyway, what else. Playin' Poker. Gotta do something. I'm a
That could be a new phrase I sprinkle into Entry like
Cray-ing-ess into a sitcom. I'm the Problem Solver, what do you expect,
etc. etc. Still gotta work the kinks out but I think I can figure this
one out. Not a big fan of the term Cray. It's missing a Z, is
how I feel. Crazy is a great adjective. Why mess with it. I
don't know. What the what. Mom is okay. That's a relief.
I need her around to keep me honest.
Oh well. What else is going on. 12th paragraph I
think. Jeez. Great. Now would be a cool time for my Mom to
start a trendy opioid addiction. I here it's all the rage these days.
Anyway, hat else. In Bleak House, someone dies from an Opium Overdose.
Either that, or Dickens seemingly trustworthy narrator decided to make up an
entire situation plot point out of thin air, and none of it ever happened.
I assume if that was the case we'd find out at the end of the book. So I
don't know yet. California had Fires. That rivals Houston's
Hurricane. And Houston has something to rival Movie Stars, one would
imagine. Lemme think of a good joke to that. Hmm.
I'll get back to ya. Houston has... Astros.
That settles that! Made 20 seconds of a potential new song last week with
Acoustic Guitar. That'll be my thing This Time Around. 20 seconds
worth of random songs. It'll be a song writing process I would remember
for years to come. I don't know. 25 pages of Paper for AAL! I
don't know. I'll figure somethin' out. 13th paragraph. What
the what. I did get a beer for myself. I deserve it, what with
having done 1.25 hours of Class. If you close your eyes, it's almost
like Denzel Washington is in the room with you! I wish I could do
impressions. When thinking about the UCB class, and my future as an Actor,
I tried the standard These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty line in the
mirror, and I think I instinctually made some really good facial expressions
during the phrase. I got a future in this here acting game.
14th paragraph. Whaaat the whaaaat. One trend
I've seen in porn lately is they have actors, male ones, who are made to look
like they're young and under 18. But having sex with regular-aged women.
Because I guess they think young porn viewers will be able to relate better.
So the point is I May Have a Future In Porn. I look like I'm pretty young.
But then people will see my No-No Areas. I ain't down with that!
Just had the urge to start a new paragraph. This one ain't long enough
yet. ... .... .... . . .... ..So how you doin'.
Wow. 15th paragraph. Whatta joy.
Dickens' havin' a lot of fun naming characters. Good for him. Gotta
find something in life that keeps ya goin'. If I had known beforehand
there was no Evening Class, I coulda gone to Open Mic! Whatta jip.
Did I already say that. Boy would my face be red, saying the same
thing twice. I'd never be able to live that down. Reason I got too
much Crushed Red Pepper on my pizza is because instead of putting the container
upside down and sprinkling it through small holes on the cover, they just had a
spoon in a big bowl of crushed red pepper, and I was unable to approximate
exactly how not to use the entire spoonful for each slice.
These are the days of my lives. 16th paragraph.
White Famous is about a comedian who becomes an actor. What will they
think of next. I'm gonna watch all shows with my eyes closed from now
on! Now I know how... some blind guy reference... felt... when he..
couldn't see, on account of being blind. Daredevil. That's it.
I'm like Daredevil. I don't know. Let's see, crap and crap. My
review for the show? -- Jay Pharoah Shines in this.. wait, no.
Lemme start over... And then a picture of three and a half
17th paragraph. There's that white actor who is in 60%
of films about or by African Americans. You know the guy. I wanna
say his name is two things. A first and a last. I don't know.
Mets signed a new manager! Apparently he's really great. That's what
the press that's aligned with covering the Mets say, and they would have no
motive to lie. Also, he's 42 and his name is Mickey. That seems like
a pretty good precedent to set for the next several seasons of Met Baseball.
I don't know. If Bartolo Colon signs with The Mets for one season, which
is being suggested, he'd be older than the manager! I don't believe it!
Bartolo Colon then becomes the de facto manager of the manager. Gets to
decide what the manager decides.
Thems the rules. Might have gone to Open Mic last
Saturday were it not for Hospital. Maybe next Saturday. I got Songs
and Crap to do! I gave a CD of that 10 song album to my therapist.
It seems the therapee has become the master. On account
of writing adequate songs. Also, the songs are short! We all got
things to do. Probably. I never understood why everyone I know
doesn't read this website or listen to my songs. If I knew someone doing
this crap I'd be all over it. That's how I feel. Anyway, jeez.
I'm hemorrhaging cents at an astronomical rate! You know, like 30 or
40? Whatta jip.
19th paragraph. Feels like I'm going for 25 or
something. That's how I feel. I'd probably still be in class if
there was Justice. Probably. Shaved my moustache. You know,
that No-No-Area on my face? For shame. Anyway. My Mom is okay.
Albeit with less Gallbladders than she had last week. Got 80 pages of
Bleak House to read for Wednesday. I can do that. I know how to read
and everything. If there was a Michael Kornblum in a Charles Dickens book,
what would he be about. Hmm. There's a character named Charley in
Bleak House. She's a 13 year old matriarch of an orphan family. So
that sheds some light into how Charles Dickens viewed himself. Just lost 2
dollars with QQ vs AA. So I got that going for me.
Michael Kornblum would be a degenerate gambler. Sure,
he only loses 10 dollars at his worst, but degenerate nonetheless. Anyway.
He'd be a real reinsurance degenerate man. Degenerate Gambling, Degenerate
Musicing, Degenerate Blogging-- he does it all. There was a wrestling
group called Degeneration X in the WWF at the turn of the century.
They captured the public's imagination with their signature member, X-Pac,
whose signature move was leaning his opponent up against a corner of the ring
and then humping their face.
Sounds pretty degenerate to me. Anyway. 29 in six
or seven weeks. Roughly when my AAL Paper is due. That's how I keep
track. 21st paragraph. Whatta joy. Wrestlers' Signature
Finishing Moves are pretty interesting. A lot of them, upon closer
examination, seem kind of superfluous. The Rock's was The People's
Elbow. He'd run across the ring several times and then just elbow his
opponent who would be already passed out on the ground. Stone Cold kicks
people in the nuts and does some sort of piledrive. Goldberg runs really
hard into people. The point is these are important issues. Down to
six dollars. I can make that last. I gotta keep calling when I know
I have the worse hand, though. That's bad poker IQ.
22nd paragraph. I'm just keeping 'em honest.
I don't know, what else. Gotta do something this week. Tricked my
phone into thinking I'm hearing disabled so maybe they'll make everything
louder... which I need it to be. Can't hear it at regular volume. The same
sort of trickery I used to get Ritalin when I didn't have ADD, but needed pills
to help me concentrate. Masterclasss in Trickstery, I'm committin' all
over the place. I feel like I could do good in a 101 Improv class.
Just close my eyes and pretend we're all regular people just saying stuff.
23rd paragraph. In improv, you get to be un-regular
people! Everything is mix-em-up'd! So I don't know. I already
completed 101 and 202 improv classes, but I think technically, if it's been over
2 years since then, you gotta start at the bottom. Alright. If it
were up to me, I'd just keep taking 101 classes over and over. Why put
extra pressure on, who needs it. Apparently you don't really need
gallbladders. Thanks for nothin', gallbladder. I can take you out of
the whole Bile Equation and it won't make a lick of difference.
24th paragraph. Alright. Let's do it. Saw a
dead bird face-up while I was smoking a cigarette outside the hospital.
That's right, I smoke cigarettes right outside hospitals. I'm a rebel with
a cause-- a smoking cause! I don't know. Showed a girl in
Disabilities Class a video of one of my songs from my set, and told her it was
from a decade ago. And she was like, Oh, was it like about an
on-and-off relationship? because apparently what's what the lyrics led her
to believe. I just went, I don't know, I don't know... because I
didn't want to go, What's a relationship?
Wow. 25th paragraph. Go for 30 is possible.
Stop before 30 is possible. Anything's possible. Nurses in Hospital
called everyone Love. Seems like that was something that came from
the higher-ups. Maybe thinking about the concept of Love improved
patients' morale. I guess. Crap and crap. I'm down 3 dollars
tonight. That's not supposed to happen. At this rate, it might take
me three or four years to become a billionaire! No fair. Crap and
crap. I can always take an Improv class and pretend I'm a
billionaire. That's halfway there. Hey, I just won a dollar!
26th paragraph. Five more to go. In theory.
In theory. Let's see, words, words. I don't mean to brag, but I
was a real good son this week. Spent a lot of time at Hospital with Mom.
Really put the work in, ya know? That'll show 'em, that'll show all of
'em. Most of my actions are driven by spite. Such is life.
I don't know. Can't wait to use a Whammy Bar. I got no idea.
Anyway. Maybe I'll all of a sudden be able to play all those solos to the
great songs I like because of the bar. That's my hypothesis. Teacher
liked my Hypothesis in my C+ Paper. I think when saying it would have been
in the 'A' Range, all Teacher remembered was my Hypothesis. You look at
the rest of the paper, that's when you get into 'B' range territory. But
she's a tough grader, it says it in the syllabus. B Range is pretty good.
And I got a C+. Yeah, but if not for that thing, it'd be a B. The
point is I more or less got an A+.
27th paragraph. Wow. Character named Dedlock in
Bleak House. Last week, she asked us, Dedlock, what does that make you
think of? And I immediately raised my hand. I go, Dead Lock?
And she was over the moon happy. That's exactly it! What can
I say, I'm great at reading. I'm so Over the moon. Let's root for
Los Angeles. But that's where Movie Stars live. And I'm not one
of them. Rather side with the working man, the common astronaut.
That's my instinct. I don't know, crap and crap. At least if the
Yankees won, I'd know for sure who I was rooting for. I'm still pretty
sure I'm rooting for the Astros, but I can see myself, in any given game, at any
given time, assuming the circumstances dictated it, I could go Actually Now
I'm Rooting For The Dodgers.
That's how that might play out. 28th paragraph.
Jeez. What the what. I'd be getting home around now if there were a
class. I don't believe it. I don't know. Dammit, I'm
missing Monday Night Raw. I'm not a fan of how Dammit and Damnit
aren't acceptable words in Microsoft FrontPage. There's gotta be some
spelling of that word that's a word. I don't have time to put a space
in-between Damn and It. I'm a busy man! The point is
Jeez whatta clunker. I think it would be interesting if Jay Pharoah played
Andrew Dice Clay and Andrew Dice Clay played White Famous. Let's start a
29th paragraph. I don't know. Whatta clunker.
I've written a lot of clunkers and have yet to receive any cash. Probably
because of Trump sabotaging Obama's key programs. That's my best guess.
That nonsensitive bastard. I've got to commit to The Astros. Without
commitment, where would we be in the world. I'm puttin' it out there-- I'm
rooting for the Astros, rain or shine. Wait, lemme start over.
Jeez. I don't know. I like The Astros because their best guy is
a Shortsman like myself. Also, great, what else. One more paragraph.
This is it. He took a lifetime of people calling him
shortstop and said fuck it, I'll show all of you... I'm gonna become a
second baseman. I guess. I don't know. I was waiting for
the Doctor to come see me and my Dad in the waiting room after Mom's surgery,
telling us there were complications and she passed away, and I was gonna say,
GREAT, YA BLEW IT! I don't know. She's okay now, though.
That's good. Who knows how much tucking-in I'm gonna need over the course
of the rest of my life. My guess is A Lot. One more paragraph for
Jeez. Let's finish this up, once and for all.
What's goin' on. Gotta go to sleep tonight! Whatta jip. I
don't know. Whattado with rest of week. Read tomorrow. Class
Wednesday. Maybe Open Mic Saturday. That leaves a lot of days.
I guess I'd have to read either Thursday, Friday, or Sunday. And I got to
lie in bed a lot every day. So I got all that going for me. Anyway,
hmm. Closin' it up. Just like Doctor's did to my Mom's Abdomen.
She's okay now, though. I can't stress that enough. But, if not,
someone's gonna get a big Ya Blew It! in their near future. I don't
know. I'll see ya later.
Monday, October 16, 2017
Titlin'. Right?,, or: I'm Here Again
Hey friends. Another Monday Afternoon Entry. Let's get goin'!
Started writing potential titles for next round of music. I figured out,
you write a bunch of titles, just use them as lyrics in one song. They're
good enough to be titles, they're gonna make some awesome lyrics! All you
have to do is rhyme with them. That's the easy part. Jeez.
Please. See? Easy. Started reading Bleakhouse. It's
not so bad. Half of it is dialogue that you can read easy. The other
half is indulgent third person description-- which you can skip over!
No one will be the wiser. Also, funny names. I'm on board with that.
Had an idea for Final Disability Paper. Compare The
Station Agent and Life's Too Short. Talk about how genre
effects thinking about things. Comedy-Drama Vs. Absurdist Comedy-Fake
Reality. I'm on board with those things! No class Wednesday.
I've got a week off! That'll show 'em. Maybe do Saturday Open Mic.
I don't know. Baseball is going on. I'm rooting for the Baseball.
Under Trump, we're gonna start saying Merry Christmas again. It's
about time. I haven't heard anyone say it even once since almost a year
ago! I think Dickens coined the phrase Merry Christmas. Big
deal. Lemme know when you coin the phrase "Prime the Pump." I
wouldn't be surprised if Trump coined the phrase Coined The Phrase.
This is Trump we're talking about. He came up with Christmas!
Yeesh. Two paragraphs in. What's going on.
Starting Testosterone Therapy! Which may make me infertile! Probably
for the best anyway. I don't want another me running around.
Especially if I had to raise him. I wouldn't know where to start.
Character in Bleak House is described as "Mad." And she
talks about it freely and happily, and Teacher was like, These days, no one
would be happily talk about being crazy! Ooh Yeah???
That's pretty much all I do. That's pretty much my main narrative in life.
I'm Crazy, What's Goin' On. Yeesh. I could write a Final Paper
on that, but I'd much rather talk about Warwick Davis and Peter Dinklage.
(Editors Note-- if Dickens had to name two dwarf characters who are
actors, he would totally have named them Warwick Davis and Peter Dinklage
exactly.) Man that was a good editor's note.
Wha. Fourth Paragraph. That's how that
goes. UberEats is now a thing. I don't want that. If Uber is
gonna eat my food, then what's the point in the first place. I'm
stupid. What's Goin' On. That's probably a more accurate
characterization of life. Split the difference. The overlap of
Crazy and Stupid. That'll show 'em. Anyway. Had to
hand in a couple of paragraphs of what I might do Disability Final Paper on.
Mentioned I might base it around my mental illness (with no clarification what
that illness is). Now she knows. Oh, he only keeps raising his
hand because he's crazy. Now I get it. That'll
Fifth paragraph. Whatta snooze. Booze.
There's a song right there! Good stuff. (Editors Note -- yup!)
Read The Sellout for AAL class. Reading it made me uncomfortable.
How Dare You. Made me think though. There's racism bubbling just
under the surface. Like oil. Texas Tea. Milkshakes. That
sort of thing. I heard Trump came up with the Internal Combustion
Engine. Anyway. Kim Jong Un has a cult of personality.
How backwards and primitive. Meanwhile, Donald Trump Is Going To Save
Christmas. Make America Christmas Again. I don't know.
Whatta snooze. Get Food in 20-30 minutes. What the What.
Donald Trump came up with the clock. The time is now Half Past Trump.
Yeesh. Sixth paragraph. Figure I'll do at least
ten. What else. Maybe write some more paragraphs when I get home to
attempt to increase the percent of content which is quality. Which is the
amount of James Quall a subject has. Good God. Been drinking more
lately. Like 2-3 times a week. Which is still within Healthy
Range. So great whatever. Had to wear a sweatshirt jacket today.
It's about time. That's right, I've Got Jackets. Life
is beautiful. Remember when The Holocaust happened? Whatta bummer.
I hope that never happens again. With AI developing the way it is, it's
only a matter of time someone creates a Hitler Bot. Yeesh. I just
had a thought. What would anyone in this cafeteria think of me if they
know I was a guy who had just written, "It's only a matter of time before
someone creates a Hitler Bot?" Isn't life beautiful.
Seventh paragraph. Smoke a cigarette after this one.
Then get Pizza. Then resume writing. Jeez. Just heard a girl
say, "Never go to bed angry." Now, I just heard her say, "Don't touch my
computer!" I will keep you updated on this situation as it progresses.
What else. She just sneezed three times. I swear it's true. I
don't know. I'll smoke cigarette now. Alright, I'm Back.
I feel like I've talked about Hitler Bot before. If not that, something
very similar. The point is Great. New Music soon. Knock it out
of the park.
Eighth paragraph. Get up in half an hour, smoke another
cigarette, walk to class. Gotta make a list for Dad Going To Supermarket
Tomorrow. This will serve as a reminder. It's about time there was
some payoff to this. Editors Note-- Boooo I remembered anyway GET
OFF THE STAGE It's about time there was some payoff to this.
For this. To this. For this. I've given myself a lot to
think about. Should get at least ten paragraphs here. Two and
some fraction more. What else. Great. This'll be over.
Whatta relief. Get to participate in Academic Discussion. Life is
Nine. What the whatness. Maybe write tenth
paragraph when I get home. That sounds good. It's like leaving
myself with a cliffhanger. Will it fall off the cliff? Or hang on
indefinitely? I don't know. I wonder if anyone ever blessed that
girl. What the what. Can put money on Poker. THat'll give me
crap to do. Sounds fun to me. Stupid racism Just Underneath The
Surface. If only we could see and judge people by the quality and content
of what's just underneath their surface. You mean like blood?
No, well, like in Disability Class, we're all disabled in some way. You
mean like how they're crippled? Yes, that's it. We should judge
people on whether they're blood or crips. I want to be a crip!
That's my first instinct. I own my madness.
I'm Home Now. Edited that very last last a bit,
just being honest. It was there but I fixed it a little bit. Anyway,
I'm home now. Whatta day. There was the time I woke up by the
Urologist calling me to let me know he was all for me going on Testosterone as
long as it makes me infertile. I think he's very happy about that.
You know, clinically. Then I went to Disabled Class where Teacher
constantly judged me for being mentally ill. Then wrote this piece of
crap. Then went to AAL Class where we talked about one thing for two hours
and I don't remember what it was. It was fun though! Doin' stuff is
great, that's how I feel.
11th paragraph. Drinkin' a beer. Go ahead and try
to stop me! I'll drink two beers 2-3 times a week all over the place.
Jeez. Please. Man, can't get that song out of my head.
I don't know. This new round of music may be great. Or it may be
like the last round-- Not Great. Only time will tell and whatnot.
It's cold! My window is open. I have only myself to blame.
Jeez. Shit, another week until I do stuff again. Unless I do Open
Mic on Saturday. Strongly considering to strongly consider it at some
point in the near future. We'll see how that goes and whatnot.
ManMan, that's the EDITED version of your jokes? Yeah, it is.
You don't like it, there's an X in the top right of your screen.
I hope so, at least. If it was just me around, I might
think about making a sperm donation thing where it's just a donation to my
future self if I need it. I don't wanna run that through my parents,
though. Whose got the time. Maybe I already got Lame Sperm.
Jeez. Anyway, what the what. 12th paragraph. 15 seems
reasonable. And if it's going really great, maybe more. The point is
what the what. It's funny, because he's a doctor, and wants to do good
in the world, and would be happy that I can't have children, because I am and
they would be terrible! I'm on board. Let's Laugh About It.
I don't know. Crap and crap. Would it be weird to
name a kid "Something" Jr. where the "something" isn't my name? Probably.
I could just name him Junior. And make him watch Problem Child II every
day until he's 17 years old. That's what my childhood was like.
No one made me, really, but in practice, that just so happened to be how it
turned out. I should come up with a good name for a boy. I have a
great name for a girl. Hearts. Came up with it when I was writing my
Facebook Book years ago. Back-up name-- Happy. Was one of the Gang
of Nine characters way back when here on crazysheet. It'll force them to
be Heartful! And/or Happiness!
14th paragraph. I can go for 20 I think. Better
than the alternative of Doing Something Else. I have a Crab Cake.
And Frozen Chicken Nuggets. I may combine them for Dinner.
Because I'm an Adult. Anyway, what else is going on. Whatta day.
So much accomplished. Actually, False. It was a waste of a Day With
Great Potential. I had two classes to enjoy. A whole entry to
write-- part at school, part here at home. And what happened? Sure,
it all happened. But did I appreciate it? I don't know. I
I was thinking, I've been reading musician's memoirs and
biographies, if I'm ever a musician, just keep writing Crazysheet twice a week,
maybe don't even post it online. Then by the time I'm 50 and release it,
it's gonna be 30000 pages long! And real in depth and whatnot. It'll
be way more great than any music I may do. But that's what'll keep me
goin' in music. Try to rival the Entries. I've Given Me A Lot To
Think About. Suddenly I'm under the I Will Be A Music Guy Delusion
Again? Nope. Just preparing for anything. It's called
being Prepareful, you dolt.
16th paragraph. Apparently Baseball is going on.
Stop the presses! That's the order Donald Trump gave to his
subordinates. Commentary. What else is going on. Did
you know Trump invented the question mark? I wouldn't have been able
to say that phrase without him! Praise Leader. What else is going
on. Impeachment can't come soon ehough. I don't know. Five
paragraphs to go seems about right. I can do it hardcore. If not
Open Mic Saturday, maybe see a movie. Do somethin' with Someone, right?
I have just the friend in mind! You know, the one friend I have?
Her. And, if she's no-go, maybe get my Brother to come to Open Mic
with me! He expressed interest in seeing me Make Music again. Did
you know I came up with all the lyrics and music to my songs? Praise
Hey, that's me! I'm on board with that. If I
had Money On Poker Right Now, I'd be able to Play Real Money Poker On Poker
Right Now. And I'd lose it in an disheartening blaze of non-glory by
playing above my means. Get my unborn Daughter on the phone!
Someone needs Heartening! I don't know. I challenge you to come
up with a better name that's not already a name. The gauntlet has been
thrown down or something. Which I believe is a wrestling term. Some
sort of Royal Gauntlet once a year. I don't have all the details.
Yeesh. Sure Crab Cakes goes with Chicken Nuggets. They're both
fried. Save for the shape, look pretty similar. Both... are... food.
Crude. There's another song right there!
Texas Tea! Anyway, what the what. It's funny how
Fake News is both completely a lie and completely accurate. Because the
news he calls fake is a complete lie in that it's real. But the news he
likes is in actuality Fake News. Because it's not real. It's a
Mental Tongue Twister. Gotta give him props. A Confused Electorate
is a Subservient Electorate. Hey, we're Electorates! We're
all gonna get laid. I don't know. Is this the seventeenth paragraph,
or already the eighteenth. Already 18. Jeez, I don't this to ever
end. We're Electorates and whatnot. I don't know.
19th paragraph. Hardly drank any Beer even. I
should write until I'm done with the one can of beer that's like a double
regular size can of beer. Makes sense to me. Anyway. Thinkin'
about e-mailing Sidewalk Cafe to put some pressure on for them to give me
another show. How threatening can I legally make that e-mail so that
they'd be inclined to give me a show without going to the police.
These are questions that need answers eventually if anything is ever gonna get
done. What else. Apparently the Yankees are gonna win. I've
always liked the Yankees. Go Yankees! ...Please
Don't Hurt Me.
Jeez. Six paragraphs
to go! What else. Mets start next season as a .500 team essentially.
I can get on board with rooting for that. They'll be tied for first place!
I can't believe it. Plus, they got this 25 man roster, right? And
you know some of those people on it are gonna be good. I don't know.
Lookin' forward to a new manager. I hope it's Young Billy Heywood.
He did a great job with The Twins in that fictional movie I saw from 25 years
ago. He's got to be like 40 now. His age is no longer an issue.
What else. The Sellout was a good book, but made me uncomfortable.
As a White Person, I feel it's my right to not have to feel uncomfortable in any
situation ever about race.
That'll learn 'em. That's what Professor thought
when assigning books. I hope so, at least. Professor commented on my
Bernie Sanders shirt by calling me Bernie. In response, when talking about
who the intended audience has been in the history of African American Literature
and Art, we were talking about how in the later 20th century it finally started
to be for African Americans instead of white people, and I started talking about
sitcoms written by Jews that were intended for black people. Like a Mix-Em-Up.
And he agreed but was like I can't say that. And I should have said
Well, I said it for you, but I wasn't that quick! Just sort of half
heartedly chuckled and nodded my head and then pretended to write something down
about whatever the next thing he said was.
But it still is black actors, so they're contributing to the
Art and Whatnot. We've given me a lot to think about. Me and
Teacher, we're a team! Dream Come True. I don't ever want to
be a teacher again, but if I could be on Same Team as Teacher? I'm a happy
guy. And, lets get it straight, I'm not the guy who reminds Teacher to
give us homework. I'm just the guy who says what Teacher can't say.
At least, in that one instance over the first seven classes.
Anyway. I don't know. He also asked me if I voted for Bernie Sanders
in the latter part of the class, and we started talking about politics, and some
guy was like, Can we just leave now. And he wanted to talk more
about politics, I could sense it. But he was like, fine, just get out
of here. Very disappointing. I lost 20 minutes of Conversation
Appreciation Time because of this one no-good-nik.
23rd paragraph. Jeez. Professor said he voted for
Bernie in Primary. I went, Oh, you should have told your friends to,
too. No I didn't. But it was written all over my face I assume.
I didn't even think it. I just thought about thinking about actually
thinking it. What fun. Yeesh. Do I have to go for 30?
I don't know. Some odd number. Or even number. But odd in the
sense it's not divisible by 5. That sounds like a fun Mix-em-Up.
Jeez. Stopped keeping track of how many calories I'm eating per day.
I'm going on Testosterone, I don't care anymore! Testosterone fixes weight
problems, right? That's what I'm banking on.
24th paragraph. Anyway. I don't know.
Entry'd it up all day. You got the In School Cafeteria nine paragraphs.
You got the At Home something-teen amount of paragraphs. I don't believe
it. Jeez. And soon I can start Music again! It'll be awesome
hardcore. The point is I get to wear my sweatshirt jacket to bed. I
don't know. Started a new garbage bag. Truly livin' the good life.
Anyway. Wrote a freakin' supermarket list when I got home, even before
starting the entry. You mean I wrote this entire entry for nothing?
Yep. I don't know. I guess. The point is Huh?
What the what. The Deuce is good but it's not Wire
good. Not a lot happens really. And the characters aren't as big.
You know what I mean. The point is It's Still Good. What else is
going on. If anything, it's helping a generation of people spell Deuce
correctly instead of Duece. Mission Accomplished, I would imagine.
That'll learn 'em. Yeesh. I don't know. The more often you
drink, the less enjoyable it is for the novelty of it. That's my Thesis
Contention of Today. Jeez. Five paragraphs to go till 30. And
I cut myself off at 30. More than 30 paragraphs is just ridiculous.
Curbs been great. No complaints there. Besides, who would listen.
26th paragraph! I don't know. No Conan
tonight. There is a Jimmy Kimmel. Saw the Sarah Silverman Program
Part II or III Or Something this weekend. I thought it was good. My
favorite part was when I watched it and it entertained me enough. That's
how I feel about things. And it makes you think. I won't hold
that against it, though. Anyway. Jeez. You damn well better
bet I hold it against it. Sure I'll keep watching it because I'm pot
committed at this point. But if I wanted to think, I'd take up Yoga or
something! Transcendental meditation! I'm in the TV Watching
Business not to think! Jeez. What else is going on and crap.
Oh no, I only have four paragraphs to go. If I wanted to think, I'd
think about what I'm writing, and be a better writer! And who needs
27th paragraph. If I wanted to think, I'd make more
responsible adult life choice decisions! Rather than just riding the wave
of mediocrity. The point is What Else. Four paragraphs to go.
Seems about right at this point. Gotta go to sleep at some point tonight.
Then I'll have to think in my head. Who needs it. What else. I
get to eat a crab cake at least. That's life I guess. That was my
horoscope. You're life is gonna suck-- you will intermittently eat crab
cakes. Horoscopes aren't for your entire life. Horoscopes
aren't for your entire life!!!
Three paragraphs. Jeez. Perfect.
Even worse, some chicken nuggets. I know you like chicken nuggets,
Michael, but having six or seven will only whet your appetite for chicken
nuggets. This isn't gonna go well. What an oddly specific
horoscope for my entire life that in essence only pertains to today. Life
is beautiful I guess. Hitler Bot. I'd be even happier with it if I
wasn't sure I made the same joke a year or two ago. That's a thing,
though, right? Whenever they make AI Twitters they end up racist. Oh
well. Maybe they'll be able to make babies based on AI. I take a
personality test, they punch some numbers, inject a thing into a lady, come up
with a baby lke me. Sure I know how science works. And how sex
works. I know lots of things.
Get off my case about it. Gotta add some randomness
into the equation, for fun. That's part of baby making. Gotta be
some randomness for fun. I don't know. Jeez. FuckRutgers, only
two paragraphs to go! Make 'em count, I say. I wrote a song called
Rutgers in 2010. And the word Rutgers never appears in the
song. I just thought that would be a new phrase. Something bad
happens, or something doesn't go your way? Rutgers. Like,
"Damn," or, "Oh well." Rutgers. I'm full of great ideas like
that. I wonder if Rutgers means anything besides the College. I'ma
ask Internet. Doesn't appear to mean anything else. Well,
besides now, when this colloquialism will get off the ground and really take
off. Apparently its in Newark which is the perfect place to embody what
the phrase Rutgers is all about. It's possible I subconsciously
knew it was in Newark when coming up with the phrase.
30th paragraph. Now we'll take it at a
paragraph-by-paragraph basis. Where this may likely be the last paragraph,
as promised. Who knows if my word is any good, though. Not me.
That's how that goes. Just about almost done with that
double-sized-one-can-of-beer. So that corresponds nicely. I don't
know. I like going into places where you can buy bottles of soda with a
bottle of soda already. It really makes me feel like I'm getting away with
something. I go to pay for whatever I'm getting, already have my soda,
they look at it, probably deduce on their own that I already have it, they don't
charge me for it. Sure, I did already have it, but who knows, maybe
I'm pullin' a fast one on them! I'm not, though. But maybe I
Jeez. Last paragraph. I'd say 60-65% that will be
accurate. What else. Dickens naming two dwarf actors, with their
real perceived personalities and oeuvres, Warwick Davis and Peter Dinklage.
Love it. I learned the word oeuvre from Weird Al. Let's talk
about it. I don't know. Almost done I guess. Then it's Adult
Dinner Time. Well, anyway. What fun. Life is bootyfull.
For Helen Keller, life was Mute-iful. That'll show her! I
don't know. I'll see ya later.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Hey What's Up And Crap
Hey friends. Another Home Entry.
Let's see how that goes. Another arderous week of one 1 and 1/4th hour
class is done. I showed up and everything! Raised my hand a bunch.
Most of the time, followed that up by talking for a bit. Finished my 1st
essay! It's all about this one character and what his deal is. My
Title was What's The Deal With This Guy*? And then at the bottom of the
page I wrote *-- You Know What Guy I'm Talkin' About. The point is
Great. Last Open Mic went pretty great. Some guy was complimenting
my song a shitload. Then another person or two, regulars, also said nice
things. Got rid of another 3 or 4 CDs. The point is Great Now
That Era Of My Life Is Over. Although I did have an idea, I can write
back to the person who runs it, I Had A Great Time Doing My Set! If
You've Ever Got Another Opening Let Me Know! Seems kind of pushy, but
at the same time, not really. Seems like a pretty logical thing to do.
That way, I get to keep the 1/2 of the songs that went well,
and put in another 1/2. So roughly 3/4ths will go well! I crunched
the numbers! I also feel like having heard myself on Recording let me get
into a better zone this past open mic. I'm always learnininin'.
Anyway, crap and crap. Brought myself Halal Food home to have for dinner
later! I Don't Believe It! Seeing my Endocrinologist tomorrow about
Testosterone. And Increasing My Level About It And Whatnot. Let's
see how that goes. I really hope it shrinks my testicles.
These things just clunk things up!! I don't know. That's one of the
few things in Porn that doesn't turn me on. Girl suckin' on my ball.
Seems like it would make 'em sore or something, right? Maybe there's
just something wrong with my testicles.
Figured That Out. Wonderful. My balls
exist in a very fragile equilibrium! You start suckin' on one, throws the
whole equilibrium out of whack! That's how I feel. Jeez.
What else is going on. Third paragraph. One Regular even said
What's Up Kornblum when I got there early! That's the highest respect
you can give someone. Calling them by their last name. I should have
gone, Please, Kornblum is my Father. Just call me Kornblum Jr.
Something like that. I feel like I've made this joke before, but is
Malcolm X's son Malcolm The Eleventh? Seems like something I would have
said at some point.
Jeez. Crap and crap. Even if not, Malcolm X,
that's a pretty long line of Malcolms. I don't know. As a white
person, you're kind of raised to intuiate that Malcolm X was kind of radical.
I don't remember anyone explicitly teaching me that, but somehow that message
filters in. Then, you read him, and you're like, Man, I'm Another White
Idiot. Jeez. Crap and crap. Sure I don't know how to
spell that tense of intuition. Spell Check has been no help in this
regard. Get off my back about it. It rained a little bit on
Monday and that was Hurricane Nate. Finally, in on the action!
Now I know how Puerto Rico feels. I don't know, what else and crap.
Fifth paragraph? Alright! Nate isn't really a
scary name. Not like Maria. Terrifying. Brought in my
Electric Guitar to get fixed last Thursday! That guy was personally
insulted how moldy and dirty my Electric Guitar was. He needs to clean it
from the inside out. It'll be ready in a week or two. And he's
adding a Whammy Bar! I never had that! Sounds like fun. What
do I gotta do this weekend. Start Bleak House. Read another book for
AAL. That's how that goes. I get that Electric Guitar fixed, start a
new round of music. Wait till I have 100 or 200 new songs. Make
another 10 song album of The Best Of and/or The Most Appropriate For One
Particular Track Of CD.
So I got that to look forward to. All my newer music
has coincided with taking class at Queens College. I graduate this Fall, I
don't know what my life'll be like next year. Maybe no Room for Songs.
Or maybe no Inspiration. Who can say for sure. Harvey Weinstein if a
Sexual Bad Guy. For Shame. I think the DNC and Democrats should
donate the money they got from him to the RNC and Republicans. It's the
only fair way to do it. Anyway, what else. Can't wait to eat
those Pinto Beans in White Sauce. I never knew I could like a Bean as
much as I like Pinto Bean. Maybe because I'm Pinto. Pinto doesn't
mean Small. It does now!
I'm an expert on Languages. The dictionaries will
follow suit in due time. Trump said something like, I Came Up With Fake
News! ... I don't disagree with that. Gottim. What else.
Seventh paragraph. And it's goin at a solid C-/C rate! I'll take it.
That's solidly passing. When's the last time you've solidly passed?
Your Kidney Stone? Get outta town with that bullshit. Can kidney
stones get someone pregnant? Let's talk about it. Maybe it just
transfers the Kidney Stone to your sexual partner. Kidney Stones are the
new sexually transmitted disease! Just keeps gettin' passed.
Eh. Brings it down to a D+/C-. Still
passing! What else is crap. I did impress Guitar Fixer a little.
He was goin' on and on about how this is actually a quality guitar, a Mexican
Fender. And I told him Weezer had a new song called Mexican Fender.
And he was like, Cool, they're still around? And I was like,
Yup! And I thought about it later, and wondered if he came to the
conclusion I was getting this fixed because of the song. Little
does he know that Nope, Wanted to get it fixed for 2 years. Little
does he know.
What else. Whammy! I'ma detune notes like a
Champ. The point is I Have No Idea What To Do After This Semester.
Feel like I might as well go to Grad school for Creative Writing or maybe
Dramatic Writing In Film Department For Film And/Or TV. That's a thing I
like to do. Don't think they have that at QC, though. They might.
If I find a cheap enough program, or actually put in the work to look at
Scholarships, I can finagle my way into a Dorming Situation! That's a life
I can enjoy for two years. Anyway, what the what.
Paragraph. Tenth? Seems right. Based on
counting. I don't know. I hope the Indians win tonight. I
don't want to be intimidated into rooting for the Yankees Any More. Who
needs 'em. Also, Indians were my favorite team going into the Post Season.
They got the Stink of Winning on them. Also, Jay Bruce! Also, The
Stink of Jay Bruce! Heard he doesn't shower. He's ashamed of his
body. That's what I've heard. Anyway, jeez. I was
thinking about Football on the bus ride home. Time to get rid of it.
Oh, it's such a great game! Sure it's terribly injerous to the people!
But what can We Do? I don't know-- Stop Playing It?
What will people think in 100 years. A) Thank
God we kept playing that game! It's a lotta fun! or, B) Hey,
that seemed like a fun game. Too bad it gave everyone head injuries.
Oh well, let's enjoy Space Baseball. Anyway, jeez. Football is
Big Business. I don't know. Maybe you can keep the game alive by
adjusting it so it's safer for players. Two Hand Touch, that can't do the
trick, too easy to touch someone with two hands. What about Two Hand And
Two Feet Touch? Really get in there and Twister It Up with the guy who has
the ball. There's probably a middle ground here somewhere.
What else. 12th paragraph. Maybe just make
Profession Football Madden 2022. Or, if we're going that route, just make
robots play. They don't have brains to get injured. Let's watch some
Robots tackle each other and do elaborate dances. And get Keanu Reeves
to coach them. I may be mixing up Football Movies. He was a
player in one, I know that. And he coached Baseball in another. So I
feel like that's an appropriate reference for that joke. He's a funny
reference. I say Al Pacino, no one cares. I say Keanu Reeves,
everyone's on board. I don't know, what else is going on and crap.
13th paragraph. Pintoito. That's Small Beans.
Like my testicles. I feel like Small Beans should be a colloquialism.
Or Big Beans. You don't like something? Big Beans.
Makes sense to me. One recommendation for a topic for Final Paper in
Disability Class is personal experience. I was thinking about doing that
for my Height, or my Mental Illness. Now I'm thinking, it's not personal
experience, but maybe talk about Trump? He's got a lot of Mental Illness.
Let's read into that! That's a subject ripe for analysis. Too
daunting for me, though. Let a real Professional write that paper.
14th paper. Err, paragraph. There goes my
mental illness again! Let's Write About It. Anyway, crap and
crap. Can You Believe This Hurricane Nate? It Was Windy For Three
Hours! I don't know how Gulf of Mexico States deal with it.
Excuse me-- Gulf of America. I'm a patriot and
whatnot. I'm looking forward for when Trump is no longer president, and he
wants to get everyone back on his side, and his narrative will be, Oh,
I know I got people upset. Let's forget about that. That was just me
being me. Now we're all friends again. I can't wait, because
that means the world will not be over by the time we get to the next president.
That's a net win!
Anyway, crap and crap. Hey, I'm 15
paragraphs in! Did it hardcore and whatnot. Thinking about
maybe doing Saturday Afternoon Open Mic this weekend or next weekend. I
like Doin' Stuff. That's my take on things. Jeez. Just hit a
bit of a wall. Watching Poker unfold. Play Money Poker! Is
there any other way. Maybe when Birthday/Chanukah/Christmas comes
along I'll deposit another 50 or 100 dollars. And really take it seriously
this time. Make it last. Not like that other dozen times. I
don't know. What the what.
16th paragraph. I can do that. I know on account
of Having Done It. Let's see, words, words. Don't get distracted by
the pretty colors of poker. Alright, let myself lose in the freeroll.
Was pretty sure I was beat but called off my chips anyway. That's my
story and I'm sticking to it. You know what? Not gonna stick to
it. Sure I knew I was beat but I woulda called off in any situation.
Any play money situation, at least. Just to get things moving. What
else is going on. Man, I really Unsticked myself to that situation.
Good for me. I'm tellin' the truth all over this paragraph!
Jeez. I feel like aiming for 25 paragraphs at this
point. We'll see how it goes. I had a can of beer from last week I
never had. Drinkin' it during this entry. That's where I'm at in
life At This Point. A friend came with me to Open Mic on Monday.
That was fun. Felt comfortable on stage due to it being a place I know in
a situation I'm comfortable with with some other great musicians doing music.
And got More Comfortable performing in front of friends I have seperate from
Music. I got a lot of friends from Music. I've added FOUR PEOPLE
from music to my Facebook. That's like a 50% increase in my Facebook
Friends! I don't believe it!
Thinking about making a Facebook Page for Michael Kornblum:
The Musician. Now's not the right time. Maybe get to another level
or stage at some point where it's more justified. Let's see how that goes.
I'm pretty sure they snuck in a Daylight Savings Time without telling us.
Gettin' dark too early. I'm onto your games! Is Trump friends with
anybody besides his family? He's attacked a lot of people. Can't
think of one Friend he's made. Besides his family and closest
supporters/members of his administration at one point or another. Sure,
Nazis, that's true. I was thinking about Neo-Nazis. And how I Think
about Neo-Nazis. These guys just aren't History Buffs. Oh, WWII
was great, Hitler was a good guy. Not in that passive sense.
They want Nazis Now! Here And Right Now! And They Are Them!
So that's helpful. Now I Get It. 19th
paragraph. I wonder if there are any Soup-Neo-Nazis out there.
Just real big fans of the Soup Nazi, and maybe they're cooks too, and are on
board with what he's all about. Who can say for certain. What else
is crap. I guess it would be Neo-Soup-Nazis. Soup-Neo-Nazis is
something else. What else? You figure it out! Sure it
would be fun and funny if I figured it out in a humorous way. But now I'm
getting you in on the action! Jeez! Crap and crap. Eminem
Freestyle Rapped against Donald Trump. Finally, Trump is getting the
same treatment Papa Doc did! Googling that, Papa Doc was a real person
unrelated to 8 Mile. He was the president of Haiti. Now we know.
20th paragraph. Wonderful. H8y. 8 Mile.
It's all starting to make sense! So I got that going for me. I
think this means Eminem is now the legal president of Haiti. Makes sense
to me. What else is going on. There's a 30-40% chance the CDs I've
been giving to people don't work. Oh well, live and learn. Except
the learn part. Haven't put any effort into making a CD that works.
But I have been living. I got that going for me. What else is going
for me. I listened to some of the Eminem Dis Track, and I'm a fan of
Eminem-- he's my favorite rapper and for a few years was my favorite musician in
general-- but half the lines I heard don't rhyme. Kinda defeats the
21st paragraph. Potentially Five to go. What else
is going on. Maybe I wasn't in the right mindset to appreciate the slant
rhymes. They might have worked if I listened to them now. Jeez.
Crap and crap. If I was an Asian Rapper, having a song or album called
Slant Rhymes would make a whole lost of sense. Because of their
stereotypical eye shapes and patterns. You know what I mean.
Apparently Trump is actually accomplishing stuff by getting his type of peoples
into jobs at key places and whatnot. Like the EPA, and they're rolling
back the Environment Laws and whatnot. Or somehow taking away Women's
Heath stuff. Not sure how he accomplished that. It's been in the
news though, so it happened one way or another.
I'm in favor of Women's Health. They have different
requirements than me to be Healthy-- but, somehow, I still support that.
Sounds weird, I know. That's just the kind of guy I am. What else is
going on. 22nd paragraph. I'm positive Trump led to several dozen
abortions. I get the impression he's had sex before, sometimes with
relatively reasonable and rational women, without protection, and they decided
there's no way they're gonna let another Trump into the world. I don't
know. Maybe he hasn't had sex with reasonable and rational women. I
wouldn't rule out that. Because they're having sex with Trump.
Jeez. 23rd paragraph. Who knows how long this
entry'll be. Not me. Potentially you. In the future.
Cause it'll be over. What else is going on. Get to have AAL class
next week. Smoke a cig with Professor. We're all friends now.
Anyway. Running out of New Songs to do at Open Mic. I only have 2 or
3 left that I can conceivably do that they haven't heard yet. And I would
need to rewrite a verse or two for each one, cause I forgot all of 'em.
There's one song I did for my show that I hadn't done at the Open Mic.
Still can use that one. Always leave 'em... happy... that they haven't
heard it before... or something. First rule of music.
The second rule of music is Don't Talk About Music.
Oops. Jeez. What exactly does Hit Me Baby One More Time mean.
And, follow up, What Did She Do Again. Jeez. 24th
paragraph. At this point, 30 seems within reach. That's how I feel.
Whatta do with the rest of my night. Feel like I got some movie DVR'd to
watch. Not Gridiron Gang. That didn't record properly. Can
watch the baseball game, I guess. It's in Cleveland. Oh boy,
Cleveland Fans Can Intimidate Me All They Like! I get off on
Cleveland. I don't care who knows it. That's why I used to wear my
Tenacious D Cleveland Steamers shirt in high school.
Sexy. 25th paragraph. Why is the chest the ideal
place for a piece of poo. What about shitting into someone else's asshole.
Then we got a Kidney Stone situation going on. What else. Probaly
won't go to Open Mic on Saturday. But I should. I like Doin' Stuff.
Maybe I can use this paragraph to talk me into doing it. Hey, let's do
it and whatnot. You know what I'm talking about. The thing, from
before. I'm talkin' Saturday Open Mic. Do it. Plan on it,
right now. C'mon. Let's go. We'll see if that pays off or
Five paragraphs to go! Let's see, words, words...
I don't know. We know the Dodgers will move onto the next around.
The team I like least out of the rest besides the Yankees. They played the Mets
at some point! And I like The Mets! Not on board with that.
Been rooting for Astros over Boston, but you know what Boston is pretty
cool too. Jeez. Rooting for Chicago over Washington.
Washington plays the Mets a lot. No gouda. Jeez. What else is
going on that I can talk about for four paragraphs for some reason.
27th paragraph. What the what. It would be cool
if there was a baseball team out of Columbus, Ohio, and they had to face the
Braves or the Indians. Now it's payback time. Let's see, what
else is going on. I don't know how I would feel rooting for a team with a
racially insensitive name. Probably wouldn't mind, but who can say for
sure. Guitar Fixer asked me, You're 18, right? And I was
like, I'm 28! And he probably thought, Why are you here
with your Dad? Because I can't drive you jerk! Quit your
criticizing thoughts about me, based on my age, and the poor condition I keep my
He specified Poor as the condition the guitar was in
when he got it. And he wrote Fair as the condition he will elevate
it to. Sounds good to me! 28th paragraph! Jeez. He asked
me, Do you wanna keep the gook around the frets, I had a guy tell me not to
clean that, it gave him good mojo. And I was like, On the one hand,
I enjoy other people's mojo... But on the other hand, clean my guitar
you jerk! What else is going on. Slowly starting to network through
Open Mics. And I'm not forcing it, that's the great part. Just
showing up, being affable, doin' my thing. So the point is I'm Great.
29th paragraph. What the what. I can eat Halal
Food soon! And probably figure out some crap to watch on TV! Man.
Committing mentally to doing Open Mic on Saturday sounds like a good way to
spend my next 2 and a half days. I can make that plan work. What
else is going on. Plus, I can play pretty much any song I want! I've
only played 2 at this open mic, and I'm happy to go without those two.
What else is going on. I Will Have Wrote 30 paragraphs soon. Jeez.
Then I have to stop. Oh well. Anyway. The Yankees don't
deserve to win. The Indians do. They won a lot in the regular
season. Case Closed.
Alright! What else. I don't know. Jeez.
Gonna get a solid B-/B on my paper. Was supposed to use the MLA Database
for a Source, but I had never activated my Queens College ID Card with the
Library, so it turns out I couldn't access that database. Wrote a note
about it at the end of the paper. Still used a source from a book we had.
All in all, coupled with the mediocrity of the paper, but the adequacy of the
ideas and thoughts presented, I calculate B-/B. Wonderful. Anyway,
I'll see ya later.
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Commencing Home Entry
So let's see how that goes. Hi!
Work Week is over. Ends at 4:30 on Wednesdays. Such is life.
My Bro recorded my Set on Video, and I've seen 2/3rds of it. Half of it is
pretty adequate, and half is pretty mediocre. Split the difference'd!!!
I knew I had it in me. Anyway. Now I know for next time which songs
to do and which songs not to do. So I got that going for me if that
somehow happens. Next Time, I can't even fathom such a thing.
Oh well. The point is Hello! Gotta write a 5 pager for next
Wednesday. 5 Page Essay. I was just trying to sound cool.
Jeez. We had a Computer Lab Session for ENglish today, teaching us how to
use MLA Databases and crap. I literally asked a question essentially
saying What Does, "Or," mean? And the lady said, Good Question!
I could explain further as to why it was a decent question, but who's got the
Anyway. What the what. Guy passed out at busstop
on the way home. Didn't do anything about it. Some other Hero woke
him up, saved him from running out onto the street, fuckin' bought him a bottle
of water. I did nothing. Again, I blame my height. He would
pushed me down into the street, he sees some short guy trying to wake him up.
And besides, isn't Watching the real heroic thing to do? I observed
the Participant Hero. Without Watchers, what's his motivation in the first
place? I don't know. Gonna make a Facebook Page devoted to Michael
Kornblum Music. Maybe. I'll see how I feel about that at a later
point in time.
Watched the Baseball Game yesterday. I found I don't
have it in me to actively dislike the Yankees anymore. I was happy when
the Twins jumped out in front, then the Yankees took the lead, and I was like,
You know what? I really don't care. Good for them. So I'm
an Adult in that respect these days. I think part of it was how loud
the crowd was at Yankee Stadium. They intimidated me into submission.
Now if that ain't the story of my life... Jeez. What the what.
Sure I can get intimidated into submission by watching a Sporting Event on
Television. What of it.
Fourth paragraph. Television is a funny word.
That's all I got. Jeez. Open Mic on Monday. Gonna do the
song where the music is good but I need to re-write the lyrics. And I had
re-written the lyrics a few weeks ago, but lost the lyrics. And they
weren't that great in the second place. The point is Huh? I
don't know. I'd say, of the 8 songs I saw myself doing, only 1 is pretty
much spot on. There's another 2 that are close, and another 2 after that
that are on the positive end of the Meh spectrum. Jeez. Crap
Fifth paragraph. What Fun! I imagined, on the bus
ride home, how much fun it would be to deposit another 50 dollars into the Black
Hole that is Online Poker. My Birthdays are coming up in two months, I
guess I can probably do it then. That's not too long. Anyway, jeez.
I've shared my hobby of looking at License Plates here before, right? And
often it involved making words from the Acrostic that is the letters in a
license plate. This riff is going nowhere. I'll just tell you.
I saw FPM. Farts Per Minute. That's where I'm at in life
these days I guess. Live and learn.
Sixth paragraph. Have Second Half of Steak Dinner
tonight. Livin' Large! I don't know. Whatta clunker.
I meant FPM, but it can be extrapolated to mean this entry, or my life. I
guess. I'm so sick of TV intimidating me into submission. My main
gripe with life. Also, gripe. There's a word. I don't
know. I briefly considered mixing in a couple of short jokes interspersed
throughout my set. Decided not to. There's a story. The
point is I know all about Databases these days. What the what. Has
anyone pointed out, in these stories about Puerto Rico's Debt, that
Rico means wealthy? And fashioned a joke out of that barebones
concept? Well, it's not gonna be me! I've got
I'm sensitive to people and whatnot. #SaveThePeople.
Crap and crap. Seventh paragraph. I'm doin' it hardcore.
Was a little underwhelmed by the first Curb episode. But then, I had just
gotten home from Show, so anything woulda been underwhelming at that point.
I remember there's a part where he's in disguise. I was reminded by seeing
a picture of it-- on social media. Social Media-- is there anything it
can't do?! Make my life more social. Been a huge let down in
that regard. I don't know. Tom Petty died. Never was a big
fan, but a few weeks ago this bar/restaurant near the Bayside LIRR station was
playing Free Fallin' loud and it pumped me up. Because that was
music, and I was gonna do music a few hours after that. That's My Life.
Seems like a good way to spend tonight or something while
laying in bed waiting to fall asleep. Get real acquainted with Tom Petty's
top songs. I guess. What else is going on. That's a good name
for a Greatest Hits album. Tom Petty's Top Songs. And not an
album of his greatest hits. Mine. I'll call my Greatest Hits
Album Tom Petty's Top Songs. That'll get the ball rolling.
Jeez. I like the 10 song, 18.5 minute album I gave to people. It's
got music on it and everything! Also, what else. Gotta get my
electric guitar fixed. Then back in Music Making Mode.
Seems like a good way to spend the next few weeks laying in
bed waiting to fall asleep. What the what. Ninth paragraph. I
guess. I like the New Cast Members on SNL. I think they gave them
each one line of dialogue in the first episode. Gotta start somewhere!
Pete Davidson has Borderline Personality Disorder. We wish him the best.
I don't know. Jeez. What if I'm Pete Davidson, and I've
got the Borderline Personality Disorder?!?! That shows a complete
lack of understanding of borderlines, personalities, disorders, and Pete
Anyway, I got that going on. I don't have Borderline
Personality Disorder, but maybe I do. I've got a bunch of Personalities
and some of them might be On The Borderline. Anyway. Jeez.
Pete Davidson should build a wall around his Personality. #Trump2020.
I don't know. Just saw a News Headline on Facebook, Trump Meeting With
Victims of Las Vegas Shooting. My first reaction was, ... you mean
like in the Morgue? Sure I get they could be injured ones.
But I'd like to think he went to a morgue, shook some dead, lifeless hands, and
then threw paper towels at them.
I don't know. 11th paragraph. When I die, I want
there to be an open casket at my funeral, and I want to be wearing a custom made
baseball cap that says, "See Ya Later!" You can't argue with
a feeling. Anyway, jeez. In death, he did what he did in life--
confused and angered people with his borderline personality. Sounds
good to me. Then I want to be cremated and filtered into a can of coffee.
To be snuck into someone strangers home. And then they drink it!
Ultimate Goof. Eh. One of the personalities on the borderline
isn't happy about that riff.
12th paragraph. Man, these paragraphs just go
flying by. This is the best part of my weekend. I haven't realized
yet the deep melancholy of having nothing to do for a whole week yet. No
class on Monday. Jeez, what the what. Plus, I still have half a
steak and half a Yam to eat. Livin Large! I don't know.
I hope I'm not telling tales out of school, but today is my Brother's birthday,
and he's 32. Fifty years ago, that would be considered middle aged!
Not on board with my Brother who is only a couple to a few years older than me
being middle aged. Let's have an open form discussion about it.
Huh? Anyway. 13th paragraph. One key point
of self-doubt I experience is thinking about my classmates or teachers finding
out my age and then being like, He ain't that smart then, he's just a frekain'
adult. I don't know. What the what. Apparently one of the
basises for Final Disability Paper can be Personal Experience. So I could
talk about my own Mental Illness. Really figure it out and whatnot.
In Essay Form. I don't know. Let's see. At this rate, this
entry may never end. I'm a Writing Nonsense Machine! What
else. I'm sure in 20 years they can figure out an algorithm that can
basically look at what Shakespeare wrote and write new Shakespeare. Man
is the future gonna be The Pits. Artificial Intelligence-- can't we
just say, Okay, 5 years from now, no more. Get everyone to agree,
so it'll be fair.
14th paragraph. Well, solved that problem.
Just Say No. To AI. What else do I need to solve. Keep them
existential threats comin'! I'm full of great ideas. The quality of
the video is terrible, but I'm pleased to see I don't look completely grotesque
in it. Guitar is coverin' my stomach area, though. Anyway, crap and
crap. I slant towards the right and slightly inward-stage. Just me
doin' my thing. I also go, UM or OKAY after every song.
That's my hook. Anyway. Jeez. I guess 20 or 25 paragraphs seem
the most likely, of numbers that are divisible by 5. Everythings
divisible by 5. Just don't always expect whole numbers.
Kids these days, what with their whole numbers. In my
day, we had to deal with fractions! And we liked it just fine! I
don't know. Trump in Las Vegas-- "America is Truly a Nation In Mourning."
...I don't disagree with that. That's my Hot Take on the news!
Job, please. Jeez. What else is going on. There
was a good bit on Seth Meyers where Larry David sat in on a Writer's Meeting for
the show. So this is what I fantasized about wanting to do for
20 years?! Count me out. I don't wanna deal with Assholes.
I don't know. Anyway. Count me in. That's how that
16th paragraph. Five to go I guess. Then put food
in the Oven. Then take it out of the oven after some predetermined amount
of time. I'm thinkin' a block of 30 minutes in a row. Anyway.
What Baseball is tonight. The Arizona Baseball Squad vs The Colorado
MLBers. Guess I'll root for Colorado because of Weed. That's how
that goes. I woke up too early today, like 4 hours before I had to leave
to go to class. I got nothing to do in the morning. All my
activities are for mid afternoon through the late evening. I guess.
17th paragraph. Jeez. I don't know. I can't
just ask for another set. I need to be invited. Maybe Person
Who Runs The Open Mic Who I've Been Operating Through goes, Hey, heard you
did good from that one guy who was there that I know, and I go, Glad to
be back any time! The existence of that conversation could make or
break my upcoming months. Hopefully not break. Because it
will not happen. I can't handle having such a long period of time
being broken on a 1 in 15 shot like that. Jeez. The guy running the
sound did let me do an Encore. Which I interpreted as, I have
time for one more song, he's joshin' around. Maybe I didn't.
And he just couldn't get enough.
Lots of things to consider at this point. Anyway.
Jeez. Every now and then I throw an Affect into my song-singing, and it's
usually okay, but there was one song I just sang a couple of notes in one line
that are way off and it sounds terrible. Somethin' to think about!
Gotta think about something. That's been my experience. Jeez.
I have a tendency of just trusting my instincts but my instinct now is to not
trust them. What paragraph is this. 18th. I got a few more
left in me!
Jeez. Oh, I remember what I did with my Morning.
Watched the first two episodes of The Mick: Season II. That's
something that's pretty alright. Anyway. I remembered to bring my
Guitar home from Show. That's a net positive. I guess now it's
Puerto Pobre. But don't feel too bad, Puerto Ricans-- at least now you
have alliteration in your territories name! Is it a territory? Is it
still called a country? I don't know. These are important questions
that we need to develop advanced AI to be able to properly answer. What
else is going on. I feel like Puerto Rico would be a cool 51st state.
I know they're completely ravaged, but it still sounds like it would be a
cool place to hang out or something. I'm not saying now, maybe a few years
down the line. I'd feel okay welcoming it into our club.
Paragraphs. Hmm. 20th. Seems like 25 is a
strong possibility. It's better than Alaska. People in PR have to be
like, C'mon, ALASKA? I know they have Oil, get off my back about
it. We know Puerto Rico's got wind, let's set up some windmills.
Anyway, jeez. It's a whole new State to have mass murderings in!
If that don't get you excited, I don't know what will. I wouldn't be
surprised if, while Trump is still president, Puerto Rico'll go, You know
what, nah, we're good... Such is life. Anyway, crap and crap.
He's already their president. He wouldn't be any more in charge.
They'd just get appropriate representation in Congress And Senate. Anyway.
Five paragraphs to go! Then I'm in for a real Quality
Night. One would imagine. I wish Trump didn't realize New York was
under his jurisdiction. Maybe he'd just forget about us. In a
good way, I mean. Sorry. I don't know. Jeez. Hah.
Farts Per Minute. I'm not a big fan of that word, but when used
appropriately, it gets the point across. Oh, yeah. I watched 3/4ths
of a Mr Show episode this morning. Alright! I hate typing on Apple
Keyboards. Everything's all out of whack. I have to regress to using
just my two pointer-fingers to type while looking at the keyboard.
Anyway. 22nd paragraph. What the whatness.
Lots of discussion on who will be the next Mets Manager. I'd like to throw
my name into the mix if I might. I know all about stolen bases and the
sacrifice bunt. I don't know. Jeez. I suppose I have two and a
half paragraphs to go. Wouldn't it be nice if I don't spend the majority
of it talking about how close to the end I am? One can dream. I did
Help the guy passed out in front of the bus stop a little bit. I kept a
close eye on his extremities to try to deduce whether he was dead or not.
If he's alive, I can't help him. If he's dead, I'll alert the authorities.
I don't know how long he's been there. He coulda been lying there for 12
hours, no one does a thing. We can't be having dead people on the streets
for 12 hours.
23rd paragraph. Wait, now I have three
paragraphs to go. Whatta jip. What else is going on. Jeez.
Gotta write a paper for next Wednesday. I can do that. I've done it
several dozen times the last few years. That'sa lotta dozen. What
else. Jeez. Watched some of Problem Child III a few days ago.
There's a movie that they should have thrown out the second the editor was done
putting it together. That's my Hot Take on things. This could be the
last paragraph. I guess. But 25 would make me feel better, if we're
being honest with each other and whatnot. Plus, this paragraph is pretty
much over! I can write two more of these!
Penultimate! Sweet! I wonder what shirt I'm gonna
wear on Monday. I've got a solid half dozen shirts that fit me in my
current situation. Weight situation. Some shirts are too big, some
are too small. These are the shirts that are great for any size.
That's my Hot Take on Shirts That Belong To Me. Immediately after my show,
I was like, What's the point of doing this again, I already did it, this was
the apex. Now, lemme at those open mic crowds! Back in
the swing of things, that's good. I guess.
Last paragraph! What else. I'm gonna put Zucchini
in the oven. I'ma Rebel, this we already know. Also, where can I buy
Matzoh Balls. Who needs the soup, just make 'em so that they're moist
enough where it's essentially the same thing as being in a soup. I don't
need superfluous water. Lemme at the Ball. That's my Hot Take on
Balls. Hah. Farts per minute. Every time I say/type it,
it gets funnier. Which is the opposite direction that 98% of what I
say/type goes in. Alright. I don't know. I'll see ya later.
Monday, October 2, 2017
I'm Eating Halal Food And Whatnot, or: Don't Even Bother
Sound advice. From the Future.
Entrytime-->>>> Man, it's great. The point is Hi. Didn't even
wait an hour into my break to get it. Anyway. Show was Yesterday.
I give myself a solid 6.5 out of 10. You know what that means-- passing.
I never would'a dreamt such a feat. The point is its time to move on with
my life. In the form of doing an Open Mic next week. In the form of
not moving on with my life, but desperately clinging to my life of the last
three months that has suited me just fine. Jeez. Very pleased with
this Halal Food. That's how that goes.
Gotta paper due next Wednesday. You know what that's
like. Let's get to some goofballs. I opened my set going, "There
shall be no banter, I want to get to as many songs as I can." I think
someone coughed. I'll Take It! Wonderful. AAL class
tonight. Presumably will get to say some things. So what if
there's no goofballs, its my life, if you don't like it, you can get the Hell
out. Probably. Maybe. I've tried leaving my life to no
avail, but maybe you'll have better luck than me. Apparently where was a
shooting. Not a fan. Put your evil tendencies into a positive
outlet, like working for the Trump Regime. Zing'd Em.
Third paragraph. I like smoking a cigarette with
Professor during break. It's about time I found a Best Friend.
Anyway, music show. I changed my set list at the last moment. I had
planned for 11 or 12 songs, and I had timed myself at home several times,
confirming that would fit. But the two people before me each did 6 or 7.
And I know my songs are shorter, but that much shorter. So I put all the
songs I felt specifically confident about at that moment into the top 8.
Ended up doing 11, I think. Whatta jip. So that worked out well.
It's fun to do stuff. That's my position on stuff.
Hey, I made 15 dollars from playing my set! Which I spent most of it
contributing to other people's sets! Still, though, can't remember the
last time I got money in exchange for work. 2009? Maybe.
Fourth Paragraph. Outstanding. Got a few people to show up
specifically for me. Now we're talking Great People. (Editor's
Note-- Now We're Talking Great Gatsbies. huh. Man, this
Halal is great. Perfect portioning of pinto beans, just right amount of
hot sauce and white sauce. The point is everything's coming up Me.
I'm a big fan of Pinto Beans. They got it going on. The sad part is
that this meal will end. It's all down hill from here.
Fifth paragraph. This is such a sledge. I have to
get to ten. Thems the rules. It would be cool if my hunger is
satisfied when this is over. I can't even imagine. I guess that's
lunch. Dinner after I get home in 5 hours. And, I'm sorry to say, I
got no more chicken nuggets. Cest La Vie or something along those lines.
I can eat whatever I want they'll start pumping me full of Testosterone any week
now. It's all smooth sailing from there. Next paragraph is the
sixth. Whatta jip. Smoke a cigarette when I'm dong eating in five
minutes, come back, finish rest of essay. Er... entry.
Alright, I'm back. Not hungry anymore. That's
good news. My brother recorded my set, so I could watch it later.
That sounds terrible. It's video, too. That sounds even more
terrible. Can't I live in the fantasy land where I did a 5.6 and just
barely passed? Anyway. Thought of a goofball over the weekend.
I forget. Whatta jip. This ain't even worth typing. I'll do it
anyway. That'll show 'em. I made 15 dollars. When was
the last time you made 15 dollars. Recently? A likely
story. I guess I'm The Better. I think I was happier when Donald
Trump was ignoring Puerto Rico than now when he's berating Puerto Rico. I
prefer ignorance to malevolence, essentially. I don't know.
Seventh paragraph. Four to go. I'm full as a MoFo.
Who would have guessed that the purpose of eating is that you don't want to eat
anymore when you're done. Jeez. Gotta think of one to two songs I
can play at Open Mic next week that I haven't played before. I've got one
that would be good, but I need to work on the lyrics. Another two or three
that are okay. We'll see how that goes. Who knows what people do
when they graduate college. Not me, at least, that's for sure. Oh
well. The point is I can get a reasonably 600 calories of pizza when I get
home, and I'm all about food.
Three paragraphs to go! The seats in AAL Class are
rigid and uncomfortable. I can only assume because of systematic reacism.
That was my first instinct. What else. Jeez. No Goofballs in
this one. Sorry, and whatnot. Two and a half paragrphs to go.
Or maybe write 9, and conclude it when I get home and have typed up the whole
thing. That sounds like a ton of fun.. The point is, I'm a Music Guy
now. I have witnesses. It's established fact basically at this
point. Jeez. WRite two paragraphs when I get home. Jeez.
Hey It's me! In the futre. Which
as of now is the presnt. But in the future it will be the past. That
settles that. Ninth paragraph, HUH? I can handle that.
Ordered Pizza, so I'll have to get the door at some point, but won't eat it
right away. I'm not the Slob you think I am, always eating. I'm only
eating like 1/5 of the time. I really didn't feel confident about typing
this up, but in terms of Journaling, it's good, now I know exactly how I felt
after yesterdays landmark and Game Changing performance. Gotta keep notes.
For my Future Memoirs. Which will be about the past and the presnt.
And the future. I just blew my mind.
Tenth paragraph. Maybe do 15 or something to make it
all worthwhile. I don't wanna commit to that, though. So Get Off
My Back About It. Jeez. One of the main comments I got yesterday
was I really liked the last song. Great. So the one part of
my performance you liked was when it was ending. I'm hip. I get
things. But, yeah, I fucked up the guitarring two or three times over the
40 minutes, but nothing too bad. Singing was just adequate enough to not
be embarassed. Not good enough to be proud, but who wants to be proud
anyway? It's an unattractive character trait. Let's talk abot it.
11th paragraph. I don't know. Goofin' It Up with
Professor. While walking outside to smoke during Break, he goes, you
should'nt smoke, cigarettes are bad for you. I responded, Really, I
never heard that! And thAnd the Best Bud Formation of Michael
and His African American Literature Professor was Formed. Or, at the very
least, Solidified. Jeez. Brother recorded the set. When
texting him just now to send me the files, I was like, Honestly, would I want
to see it or not based on the quality. Then I typed Honestly
again-- for clarification! Ah, his response: "Yeah Probably.
That settles that. 12th paragraph. I got that
going on for me. Anyway, jeez. Class on Wednesday, then no class for
next Monday. These are the days of my Lives. Got rid of 4 or 5 free
CDs. Coulda been worse. Now I have CDs to give random people.
Just gotta remember to take em with me until I see some random person who
looks like they'd get it. Anyway. Food came. Had a
third of the Hot Antipasto. That's an Adult Food to get. You never
see a kid hordering the Antipasto off the kids menu. The point is I'm an
Adult in ever-increasing ways.
Three paragraphs to go I guess for some reason. What
the what! When the guy gave me my money for the show, I saw a Ten Dollar
Bill and was completely overwhelmed. HOOOOLY SHIT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT'S ONE OF THE HIGHEST DENOMINATIONS YOU EVER SEE! THIS IS ALL
FOR ME BECAUSE OF MY STUPID SONGS?! Then I spent it all in one place.
Buying half a Metrocard. Just foolin'. My parents pay for
Metrocards. Adult! Jeez, I don't know. Crap and crap.
I was talking with a classmate before Disability Class about lotteries and we
were like, Okay, we're both gonna play the lottery tonight, and if one of us
wins, we'll give the other one 1%. And I never bought the ticket!
But if she wins, I get 1%, cause she doesn't know that! It's All Profit!
Pretty much the most benign form of a con-artist you can be.
Not bad, huh? Penultimate paragraph probably. Jeez. Got
the Videos. Listened to the first 10 seconds on one. So
that's I sound like. I knew it! I had a voice with words and
music from this guitar thing I have. Sweet. Save that for later.
Plus from the small resolution or whatever I was viewing on my phone, my body is
partly obscured. I wish that was my Every Day! Life, am I
right? Sweet. Anyway, jeez, whatta do. I am a little surprised
the Sidewalk Cafe hasn't broken down my door and commanded me to play there
every night from now on, like the Evil Planet wanted to do to Michael Jordan in
Space Jam. I'll give 'em a week or two before I get really worried
15 paragraph. What the what! I don't know.
I started watching The Last King of Scotland yesterday. I thought that was
gonna be my big thing, before my big show, I was gonna watch The Last King of
Scotland and for some mystical and heretofore undetermined reason that would end
up being appropriate or metaphorical or something. I watched 20 minutes of
it. Then I realized it's not about Kings of Scotland at all! I threw
my TV out the window in disgust. Jeez. I guess this is the last
paragraph. But I don't wanna end! I'll go another round or two with
16th. What the what. Forrest Whittaker asked the
Scottish guy for his Scottish Shirt. Don't do it, it's a trick!
Then I stopped watching before I over-excited myself too much. Jeez, what
the what. The best part of your set was when it was over.
Pretty much verbatim the best comment I got. This'll be the last
paragraph. Only a few more sentences to go and whatnot. School on
Wednesday. No assignment, but we have to go to the Library For Class.
Whatttta jip. You can't have any fun in a library. People are always
asking you to be quiet! And it always involves learning how to use Sources
from Databases. Nothin' grits my teeth more. I'll see ya later.