Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Titles Live Here
Hello friends and whatnot. Here's a send-em-up-- After the Access
Hollywood Tape last year, ladies should have taken to the streets and said
Let My Pee-hole Go! Pee-hole. Instead of people.
Moses. No? Okay. I'll spend the rest of the entry
trying to make up for that. Hey, got my guitar back yesterday!
Sounds great. Still trying to figure the Whammy Bar out. Also,
playing the guitar. Not that great at it. I blame my height.
My whole body is more condensed and it's harder to play stuff. That's my
excuse. Anyway, crap and crap. Also, Lefty. Everything is
designed for righties. My guitar was designed for lefties.
Yeah, but... shut up!
2nd paragraph. I guess. I don't know. Gotta
do a draft of my The Station Agent paper for next Monday. And, basically,
that means I have to do the final paper for next Monday. I ain't got
the time to fine tune a draft. Well, the draft doesn't have to be 5-7
pages. I could have two pages done for Monday. Then I'd still have
to write the rest of the pages. Hmm. The point is Great What Else!
Watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button yesterday. Gotta say, it was
pretty curious. Really makes ya think. About age, and stuff.
What does it all mean. Anyway, crap and crap.
I don't know. Still gotta order the guitar-to-usb and
the mic-to-usb cables. Then we're set for Music Making. Alright!
Anyway. Watched some more Documentry about a nonverbal autistic guy who
became the first of his kind to attend college. Kind of full of himself,
though. Pretty much said a line where he goes Let My Autistic People
Go! For real. He was talking about Lincoln and he was like,
It's up to me to free autistic people. Where does he get off.
Oh, right. Autistic. Good Job Then, Buddy! You're Doing
Great. Anyway. What else.
Crap and crap. Gotta figure out how to Solo. I
mostly just let my fingers do the talking. Only problem is my fingers
don't speak Guitar Language. Pretty much illiterate. But that
don't mean they can't make some interesting shapes! Probably.
What else is crap. Well, they know how to do a straight line, and a
curve. Basically just keep repeating those. Alright, I don't
know. Crap and crap. Fourth paragraph. This may be the last
entry of November 2017. Whatta month. Who could forget what we
were talking about four weeks ago. Probably something terrible Trump did.
I can't remember it! Mission Accomplished for him, I guess.
Anyway, what the what. I have a feeling there aren't
many conspiracy theories at the government level that are true. I feel
like Trump would have Tweeted them out if that were the case. So, I
guess chalk that up to a good thing that happened because of Trump?
That doesn't sound right. Oh well, live and learn. When getting my
guitar back, I played a little to see how it sounded. Really impressed the
guy who fixed it. I played a C, then a D, then a G. Guitar
God! Is it possible there's more than 12 notes, and we just decided to do
it in a Base 12 thing for some reason? Whose to say there aren't 24 notes,
and we just count the notes halfway between notes. Not me. I'd never
say something that I don't understand what I'm talking about in the first place.
Wait. Yes I would. Anyway, crap and crap!
Sixth paragraph. Whatta clunker. Anyway. Work on a song
tonight. With 8 track. Sucks I have to hold the headphone cable in
place and whatnot. I'll hook it up to an amplifier instead. Still
have to hold it in place, but tends to work a little bit better. Play this
great solo I've been working on In tablature, it's like 5-2, then the
lower string, 5-2 again. Doesn't matter which strings its on.
Sounds about as good either way. So I got that going for me. Laid
down some classic chords. We're talkin G D F G. Never coulda dreamed
such great chord progression. God Down Fuck Gee. Now I got
context for lyrics!
What else is going on. Got 7 Newports to last me
the rest of the day. Then new carton tomorrow. Also, what else is
going on? The autistic kid had a piece of paper with 12 or so sections,
and he points to the section for a standard thing to say. I'm thirsty
or something. One of the things was, I forget how it was phrased, but
basically, Compliment Me. He points to that, his cousin or mom or
whatever goes, Hey, you're doing a great job whatever it is that you're
doing. And all I have to say about that is God Damn This Kid Has
Got It All Figured Out. Anyway, crap and crap. What else.
He's a good poet, too legitimate. I mean, he's not gonna be a professional
poet, but he's got a unique way with words. So overall, I'm on board with
this kid. Just the part about being a Hero To All Autistics seems a little
Everyone knows I'm The Real Hero. To everybody.
Compliment me. Hey this entry is going great. You're doing
great. Want a drink of water? I thought you'd never ask!
Jeez. What the what. Eighth paragraph. If I ever figure out
how to play guitar above Beginner Level, I'm gonna be a musical force to be
reckoned with. That's my takeaway from getting back Electric Guitar.
What else is crap. As of now, I wanna use the Whammy Bar, I gotta stop
playing notes completely. So it doesn't work that great-- you need to be
playing notes for it to have an effect. So I got that working against me.
What else. Two more papers to write! Then Fuck You School, I'm on to
bigger and better things! Like playing four chords, and doing 5-2, and
then a lower 5-2, in Tablature. They should have a program when you hook
up Guitar to Computer, that whatever you're playing, it records it in Guitar
Tablature. Technology has got to be there, right?
I'm Full Of Great Ideas. Like that one. And the
Compliment Me one that I didn't think of myself. Anyway, what the what.
Ninth paragraph. Seein' Psychiatrist Doctor tomorrow. Nothin'
notable about that probably. Unless he teaches me how to play guitar in
20 minutes. Then, I'm A Musical Force To Be Reckoned With! Makin'
Facebook Event for my upcoming show this weekend. It's exciting!
Will more than 0 people declare they're coming? It's definitely possible.
Then I'm Happy as a Clam. Malcontent. Palindromes. Incomplete
ones, at least. That's my takeaway from things. Anyway, what the
what. Also have 3/4ths of a pack of Camels to last me tonight. So
I'll be able to smoke something is the good news.
Tenth paragraph? Alright! I like doin' stuff.
That's my takeaway from Life. Drinking non-beer alcohol. I believe
it's called Vodka. Don't quote me on that. Can't think of a
scenario where anyone would want to quote me on that. What else.
Ordering Guitar and Mic USB Cables along with Secret Santa Gift today or
tomorrow hopefully. Everything's comin' up Michael. Anyway, what the
what. QC still hasn't confirmed I'm graduating, but I was talking to
someone else who is probably graduating, and they haven't confirmed her, either.
So that's a good sign. Another good sign? Study Abroad, Room 312.
One of the best ones of the month. That was probably this month, right?
Coulda been October.
Alright! What else. 0,4,6,7,9,3,5, 2, 8...
there's no 1 ! NO ONE! HE DID IT! Wait, already knew
that. Spoiler Alert. In the sense that that just spoiled the
entry. No way. Entry was spoiled ever since Let My Pee Hole
Go! Which was the first thing. Title was the first thing.
Yeah, but it's a fine title. I got no qualms with the title. Anyway,
jeez, lets get back on track. Pretty sure Moore saying I didn't do
anything with anyone without asking their mother turned out to be a great
defense. On one level, it's ridiculous. Sounds funny. People
like funny. On another level, makes him seem polite and gentlemanly.
Almost makes you forget the whole part about Raping Children.
What else. Gonna try to keep my guitar clean.
Put it away in Case every time. Really do it this time, really try.
Why not. Crap and crap. 12th paragraph. I got that going for
me. Whats a good day to make Facebook Event. First instinct is a
Thursday Night. People are ready for doing stuff on the weekend, gonna
sound like a good idea to do something. Even if its not this weekend that
my show is, its all about setting a mood. Friday, people are still in
Thursday Mode compared to Sat or Sunday, but the weekend is upon them. So
narrowed it down to Thursday or Friday. Hmm. I've given me a lot
to think about. Also, Thursday is exactly four weeks before event.
That's a great amount of time. It's roughly one month!
Anyway, jeez. 13th paragraph. Thinkin' Chinese
Food for dinner. Gotta be Thinkin' something. Jeez. Teacher
cancelled what would have been the last class of the semester. Still need
to go in for AAL Class. Which means no Mid-Day 1st-Part-of-Entry.
Whatta jip. Only got one more of those. That's been the glue that
holds this semester together for me. And I Love Glue. Huh?
What else. Just got the best score in Solitaire I've gotten since I
started checking. 677. Was able to do it all within the first round
of checkin' cards at the top left. Great, just great. Now the high
point of my day is over.
14th paragraph. I don't know. I got some
paragraphs to go and whatnot. That's for sure. Wednesday Night.
Hmm. Work on some guitar later tonight. Really try, really do it
this time. Anyway. I don't know. Went back to listening to
music last night before sleep, like a chump. Music is too much
stimulus. All those different words and chord progressions. And
hearin' people solo, I can't do that. Who wants to be reminded of
their shortcomings. It's not like autistic guys point to a piece of paper
that says Remind Me Of My Shortcomings. It's not like that one bit.
I guess 20 or 25 paragraphs is within my near future. Also counting my
15! Sweet. You know what? Camels aren't so
bad. I feel like I could get back into Camels. Then again,
they're no Newports. I've given myself a lot to think about. Hey, I
actually have something to do after this! Work on song. That'll last
a solid 10 minutes until I become dejected. Anyway, in the mean time, what
the what. You know what? Gonna make Facebook Event now. Can't
wait to see if someone says the Might Go!!! Alright, first things first,
make a picture for the event. See if there's any good ClipArts.
Clip Art is taking a long time to load. I'll get back to it in a bit.
In the meantime, let's entry it up! 15th paragraph still.
But not anymore! Anyway. Work on Facebook Event
after Trying And Failing to set down the foundation of a song. That way
I'll be in Music Mind Mode and the Event will be better. That's my working
theory. What else. Write 20 paragraphs here. Then dunzo.
I found out one place that we get Food Deliveries from, you can just buy Matzoh
Balls without the soup. So that's exciting. 2 hot dogs, two matzoh
balls. That's more than enough for a full and well balanced dinner.
That's my take away from things. Anyway, what the what. I had Matzoh Ball
without soup two days ago. It was everything I hoped it would be. A
real slam dunk.
Anyway. I don't know. 17th paragraph.
Whatta clunker. Jeez. I would be very happi with a B for the
Bleak House Paper. Satisfied with a B-. Can tolerate C or C+.
Anything else is beyond the range of emotions that I can anticipate. Below
C, I'd be upset to a point I might cut myself. Over a B, might be excited
to a point that I might cut someone else inadvertently by having giving myself
the reward of Playing With Scissors. So the point is this is a paragraph.
I didn't even use the word Anachronisms once in my paper.
That's not a good omen. Didn't even talk about the guy named Nemo.
Point is Great What Else And Crap.
I don't know. Three paragraphs to go. Why not.
This round of music'll be different because I'm back to Michael Kornblum instead
of The Uppers. Unless I give myself a new hidden name for context.
And never share it with others. How devilishly fiendish. Alright,
happy with Devilishly Fiendish? No. No Way. Devil's not
involved in this round of music at all! I can pre-confirm that as of now.
Jeez. Order food when this entry is done. Wait for food. Eat
food. Guitar! I set 'em up, I knock 'em down. The
Bowling Pins Of Life. Set em up knock em down is a bowling reference,
right? Gotta be a reference to some sort of sport.
Okay. Wonderful. Down to three more Newports
after the one I'm smoking right now is done. Oh well, live and learn.
I think the best part of playing guitar yesterday was that, for once, it was
actually tuned. Never heard such great tones in all my life. Oh
well, back to being slightly detuned by now. Whatta jip. Crap
and crap. One and a half paragraphs to go. I can do that for some
reason. Send my Facebook Event to the Sidewalk Coffee Page so all my
friends and admirers there will see it. That's the way to go. You
know what? Last entry I went way overboard. I'm gonna end this one
at 19. See ya later.
Monday, November 27, 2017
This Is Gonna Sound Stupid, or: One Title At A Time!
Hey! Whassup party people. Extended Talk about Mental Illness in
Disability Class. I realized I have some mental illness where I capitalize
words that don't need it. Anyway. We're on the verge of electing a
senator who is a known child molestor. That seems vaguely important for
some reason. Lady just came up to me handing me a laminated flyer asking
me to donate to something. I handed it back. That's like donating a
dollar or two to the cause, right? Laminating must be expensive.
Also gave her more time to solicit donations from other people. Now we're
talking Hero Status.
Had to take off my glasses for ten minutes while talking
about mental illness. We all know I'm sick while I'm wearing glasses, but
no one ever said I'm not mentally healthy without wearing my glasses.
That makes a ton of sense. Pretty sure something I said gave a clue to
Professor about my mental health not being optimum. Oh well, she'd have to
find out sooner or later if we're ever gonna be Best Friends. What else.
Wrote my paper on Bleak House. Wrote about this one character who is a
grown man who acts like a child. Remind you of anyone? Me.
I'm the guy it's reminiscent of. And critics see him in a negative light.
Oh well, there goes my life. That's not fair. I'm responsible to
a degree. And do spend time on things potentially productive. Like
this crap, and crap music.
Was thinking about how I would describe what I'm doing right
now if a classmate saw me. Well, I have a website, which is kind of a
journal, but mostly just stupid jokes. And I'm writing an entry.
That settles that! What the what. May walk a few blocks out of my
way on Way Home to get McDonalds. I highly covet their Happy Meals, boy.
Not eating lunch/early dinner today. Just don't feel like it.
Anyway. I'm done doing readings for my two classes. The End is in
sight and I can't motivate myself to do more than the bare necessities.
Hey, got a call from Sam Ash my guitar is ready! Pick it up this week or
next. Buy a guitar cable that connects to computer with USB magic.
Work on songs with Computer Program from now on. Also need a cable with
USB for my microphone.
Future is rapidly becoming the present. Or vice versa.
Either way, Whats Gonna Happen I Don't Know. Fun, fun stuff.
Fourth Paragraph. Won't be able to participate in Academic Discussion
tonight as much as usual on account of not doing the reading. Great,
just great. I don't know. Signed up for Secret Santa among
family members in my generation for Upcoming Christmas. Got a real solid
gift idea. Totally worthwhile and practical. I've said too much.
Fine, I'll just tell you. It's a book of 1000 practical jokes and it
quotes a critic under the title which says, "Totally Worthwhile!" There
goes the surprise. They're not reading this. Wonderful.
Show is in four weeks. Make a Facebook Event this weekend I guess.
Fifth Paragraph. We're on the verge of electing a
senator who is a confirmed Child Predator. By which I mean he pre-dates
children. Which can mean a lot of things. But it definitely doesn't
mean he's an adolescent Predator From Sci-Fi Movies. But, yeah.
Seems vaguely important for some reason. Thanksgiving Occurred.
We played half a game of Scrabble and there were some real solid words out there
on the board. Words you could really sink your teeth into. What the
what. Figure my Bleak House Paper is in the B-/B range, but I'd be fine
with a C+. I guess a C is possible. The point is I'm pretty sure I
graduate in three weeks. And you all doubted me.
Sixth paragraph! I don't believe it. Been
writing some potential song titles which will be downgraded to potential
fragments of lyrics. I took a test online where they showed facial
expressions and you have to guess what they're conveying. I did
terribly. I blame a lack of experience of looking at people's faces.
Particularly when they're being photographed overacting. You'd think if
they're overacting, it'd be easier. And you'd think wrong. You'd
be scoring terribly on thinking things which I just wrote and I forget what
we're talking about. Oh. They're pretty good impressions.
Seventh Paragraph already. I should point out its very
likely Alabama is about to consciously give a plurality of their vote to elect a
member to represent them in the United States Senate who is inarguably a sex
offender who preys on young children. Republican Defense-- "They're not
young children, they're pretty old for children." It seems pretty
notable that's the way an entire political party feels collectively at this
point in time. So, what else is going on and whatnot. Gonna take a
cigarette break. BRB. Alright, I'm back. I'm sitting at
a different table now. Gotta mix things up to keep things interesting,
The point is we have a President campaigning through the
internet for an indisputable pedophile-in-action. Seems fairly significant
on some demoralizing level. Eighth paragraph. What the what.
Trump things CNN is representing our country to the world poorly. Probably
on account of mentioning that he's the president and reporting the things he do.
Does? Do. I'm sticking with do. That'll show 'em.
Two more AAL classes. Four more Disability Classes. One 5 page
paper, one 18 page paper. Then, 80% chance I graduate. Seems about
right. Anyway, crap and crap. Sit here another 20-30 minutes.
I can tolerate that.
Ninth paragraph. Bleak House paper is about a guy who
talks a lot of bullshit meant to come off as smart and enlightened. My
paper is a lot of bullshit meant to come off smart and enlightened. Seems
about right. I don't know. Buy a bottle of alcohol on the way home.
Parents are just gonna have to deal with it! On account of me technically
being an adult and whatnot. More or less. Talking about how exactly
Lady Dedlock died. It was ambiguous, and apparently not for any real and
literal reason, and I go, "This is pretty stupid, but I would guess she
metaphorically died by being locked out of something." Good Point,
teacher says. She's on board with reading into names and titles.
Real good Best Friend material. Wha the wha.
Tenth paragraph. [Maybe she was just humoring me on
account of my glasses-aided impression of mental illness. dang it i hate
it when that happens!] I feel like Conan is back on the air this
week. Really rounds out my Monday Nights well. Makes the whole thing
worthwhile. There's a good music mixing software I can get for free for 60
days. Seems on par or even better than what my 8-track could handle.
And probably an easier interface to spend more time and effort fine-tuning.
Fine, I'll tune! Are you happy now? Ten to twenty more minutes.
And I'm already at the tenth paragraph. I don't believe it.
Yet the facts seem to back it up.
11th Paragraph. America is on board with electing a
repeated extreme-staturtory rapist. Well, there goes that.
No need to get worked up over something you can't control. But, he--
children-- rape-- people still like him?! And want him to be one of
the top 200 most influential politicians in the country! Well, there
goes that. Still no one sharing the billing for my show. Alright!
The more time the better is how I feel. These are the real issues.
Someone tried to get the Washington Post to report Moore raped her and they
didn't report it because they didn't believe it and it was gonna be a scam.
The point is I'm Great At Anticipation.
12th Paragraph. Probably the last one.
Until later tonight. I don't believe it. Let's see, what else do I
got in the tank. I'm pretty good at strategically removing my glasses for
semi-extended periods of time for strategy. Need I say more?
That's not good grammar. Probably not, at least. That's how I
feel. May be too lazy to go to McDonalds. But I need to get
something. And that's something I can put in my bookbag instead of
carrying it in my hands on the way home. Like a chump.
Alright, I'll be back later.
Hey, it's later! And I'm back!
Can't believe I made that prediction. Guess I'm a genius. So, what
the what, how's it going. Did get McDonalds. Didn't eat it yet.
Did get alcohol. Started a can of beer but not the hard stuff. Typed
up this bullshit for some reason. My back hurts for leaning over my
keyboard for a semi-extended period of time. That's life I guess.
13th paragraph overall, 25 is well within sight. The point is Great.
McDonalds was a bit more out of the way than I anticipated. But one thing
I do anticipate about Moore is that he is a bad guy in the past and present.
Huh? Remember, I'm the guy who can't tell the difference between
Pain and Flirtatious when looking at someone's face. I don't
know what I'm talking about, either.
14th paragraph! What's the point of taking
personality tests if they're just gonna tell me I'm bad at personality. No
point, that's what. Got some Chicken Nuggies. Got a McDooblay.
French Frizzles. The point is all my hard work is paying off in spades.
When ordering McDonalds, I wanted to qualify me being there. I don't wanna
be seen as a guy who eats McDonalds. Start with I don't usually do
this... but can I have some french frizzles? Anyway, crap and crap.
Apparently statistics show Jones ahead of Moore, but who knows. I just
hope it turns off whatever relatively sane Republicans were left that they're
completely fine being the party of pedophiles. Probably'll turn off
2 or 3 hundred people nationally, right? Every vote counts!
What else. I liked Al Franken's comments today.
He said something like, I can't think of anything to say to repair your
image of me... or can I?
did I just do it? No? I'll
try again tomorrow. Wonderful.
15th paragraph. I'll repeat a joke I made on Twitter phrases a little bit
better-- Trump Doesn't Want to "Make America Great Again"... he wants to be
on a #Magazine. Not 100% behind repeating
that joke, but love that I got to use a new color. Anyway, is it
weird that two days after Trump throws a tantrum about not being Man of the Year
that the Koch Brothers bought the magazine? Seems like they did it out of
spite. I'm not 100% sure what Spite is, but I know it's bad. Did the
Koch brothers make their fortune from Cocaine, or Coca-Cola. Hmm.
Maybe both. Really got the market cornered with that.
16th paragraph! Amazing. I'm havin' fun writing
this. A lot better than doing nothing. Lately doing nothin' is
gettin' worse, because each day I'm confronted with the ever-growing feeling of
Not Knowing What I'm Gonna Do Next after this semester. Not a fan!
It could end up being bad, I don't know. I need structure, too. It's
been a long time since I didn't have any structure at all. Scary to think
of my mind potentially de-evolving. Scaredom, indeed! What else.
One more episode of Curb My Enthusiasm. The last episode had what I was
pretty sure was a dream-sequence but seems to represent it as if it really
happened. Now I Don't Know What To Think!
Hah, colors. And it's hard to see compared to the background. You
just got practical joked. If I ever think up a joke that leads to me
getting a job in comedy, that's a practical joke if I've ever saw one.
I'm lovin' it. In private. The way God intended. Whatta
day, I'm tellin ya. Classes, entries, glasses, pleasantries.
There were no pleasantries. Ah, there probably were and I just didn't
notice them. Like teacher saying Good Point! when she really meant
This guy is crazy and is gonna cut me if I don't give him good feedback!
That was a long paragraph. Let's talk about it.
Anyway, I don't know. I got confused because of the light blue text.
Made me think a new paragraph had started. Probably spend 20 or 30 minutes
on Paper tomorrow. At the last I need to make the bibliography. And
at the most Improve Paper. Probably manifesting itself as add one more
paragraph of crap. Good. Great! Wonderful. Anyway,
what paragraph we at. 17. Cool beans. I feel like working on
songs at computer will definitely encourage me to spend more time fine-tuning
them. Def for sure. Got McDonalds to look forward to after this.
Everything's comin' up Michael! The point is Jeez can we please
elect Doug Jones? I mean, give me that one thing.
Anyway. Anticipated dirty tricks with trying to
corrupt the Washington Post. The Washington Post is incorruptible!
Thanks for trying, though. Just makes 'em look that much better.
Unless it was a double corrupt-em-up. Democrats posed as Republicans
posing as Rape Victims. You want another Anticipation-- Some
Conservative Talk Radio Hosts Will Say That. And that's a
Crazysheet Guarantee! What else. I don't know. SNL back this
weekend! Incorruptible! What else is going on. I'd like
to think I'm incorruptible. But the truth is you could corrupt me very
easily. Depending on how beneficial it would be to me to become corrupted.
Just being honest and everything.
19th paragraph! I don't believe it! Man, I'm
havin' a blast. Totally Doin Something That I've Convinced Myself Is
Productive. And fun! Wow. Not sure how best to heat up
McDougals. Microwave, obviously. Do I attempt to remove Hamburger
Fixins' from Bun? I don't know if that'll fly. Point is Great.
Half of the Moore Frustration is that He's A Pedophile and half of it is
Facts Have No Bearing Anymore. But we see evidence in that in
everything these days. But this is a glaring example and whatnot.
#Politic'dIt. Crap and crap, what else. I oscillate between
ordering hamburgers normally served with cheese between take everything off
including the cheese or take everyting off, you can include the cheese.
Now we're talking major oscillation. Which is a word I picked up
somewhere. Wanna say either Science or Math.
It's probably only shoddy Free Internet IQ Tests, but I'm
kind of under whelmed by the math questions in Free Internet IQ Tests. 1,
3, 5, 7, 9. What's next. Get out of here with that bullshit.
Everyone knows what's next. Anyway, what else is going on. 20th
paragraph. And I'm not just trying to sound smart. I Am Smart.
Really evens out my shortness. Lots of Standards Deviating when thinking
about Smarts and Height. But it evens out in the end is the point.
I'd give 20 points in IQ for 2 or 3 inches of height. Well, I don't
know. Then again, I'd give 2 or 3 inches in height for 20 points in IQ.
Cause then I'm an unfathomable genius. A regular Robert Reich, I'd be!
Talk about living the dream.
21st paragraph. 25. 30. Something else.
Who knows! Not me, and I'm the smartest guy here! Anyway, crap and
crap. But that's the thing. The only thing I'm smart in is yeah
they're obviously all consecutive odd numbers. Beyond that, not that
smart, I gotta say! Point is Crap and Crap. Point is Great.
Ah, multiple points. Some points I can really sink my teeth into.
I don't know. Used some nice words in Academic Discussions.
Correlations in Disability Class. Anachronisms in AAL Class.
Now we're talking a guy with a potential 105 IQ. Point is lets get
back on track. I don't know. Whatta do when the entry is done.
Then I'm back to dreading the unknown future in my life. I don't wanna
22nd paragraph, tho. Hmm. I check my Facebook
Activity Log a dozen times a day to make sure I didn't accidentally Like
someone's post or something. And gave them the impression I'm all up in
their business. So far, hasn't happened. But it can strike at any
moment! Scary stuff, is the point. Apparently that one prince guy
got married to a lady who wasn't a princess until now. And she wasn't part
of his family or something so it's a big deal. This is the stuff that we
should be focusing on is the point. Gettin' better at Solitaire.
Like I said last time, still lose more of the time than statically I should be.
But winnin' when I win Quicker! I take them Fake IQ Tests pretty quickly,
too. What letter is next-- A,B,C, D... I don't know.
I'm sure you can develop some sort of algorithm where any of the 26 letters are
next. That's the real mark of someone smart. Find someone who says
G but then has to prove it.
I couldn't do that. I'm not familiar enough with the
letter G. Would have to spend some time studying it, what makes it tick,
that sort of stuff. 23rd paragraph. Alright, I got stuff to do after
this entry that'll take up some time. There's Conan. There's another
Late Night Comedy Send-Em-Up or two if the mood calls for it. There's
McDougaleses. Always the potential of drinking more, too. Anyway.
I've gotten in the habit of spending 2 hours before I sleep listening to music.
Gotta get out of the habit! I'd be happier without the extra stimuli
before my slumber. That's my hypothesis. Point is Great.
Anyway, crap and crap.
Jeez, 24th paragraph. I wish this entry would never
end. At least, not for another couple of weeks. That's the
concurrent thing, along with dreading not knowing what to do after this
semester, is dreading what I know I have to do to finish this semester.
Five page paper and 18 page paper. It's' not too bad, but having to do
something is Hanging Over My Head! And also the stress of not knowing
whether I graduate or not. Doesn't really add anything to the equation,
but incorporates a certain level of uneasiness that I could do without.
Point is Great. Six paragraphs to go most likely. Watched Blood Work
yesterday. Half way through, Jeff Daniels says his last name is Noone, and
I immediately go, Well, he did it. You don't give someone the last
name Noone without them being guilty of the crime. Anyone with a knowledge
of consecutive odd numbers can figure that one out.
25th paragraph. Spoiler Alert. What's the
past tense of Alert. Get Robert Reich on the phone. There was no
cigarette break this AAL Class. Just let us out early. I have a
fantasy where I use the bathroom long enough that I exit the building same time
as Professor, and he goes, C'mon man, have a cigarette with me even
though class is over. Then we recite consecutive odd numbers and he and I
become Best Friends. Gotta fantasize about something. Anyway.
Real, real bad at knowing what an over-exaggerated face is portraying.
They give you four options to choose. Sadness, Embarrassment,
Happiness, Love, for example. I got 9 out of 20. And I
got lucky on the 9, I'm gonna be honest. I wonder how much hate mail they
get from people going How Dare You Say I Can't Read Obvious Emotions!
I'm gonna.. umm, hmm. What was I talking about?!
I don't know. I just don't know. I
wanna design an IQ Test to be taken by Donald Trump. First and only
question is-- What Letter Comes Next-- T, R, U, M.... and he goes
It's P! and he's happy for the rest of the month. I wanna spread
happiness is the point. That's my goal in life. Moore or less.
Can't have that guy being happy. Parents gonna find out in 3 or 4
weeks I bought a new bottle of alcohol. We'll cross that bridge when it
comes. Anyway, I pick up my guitar this week or next, that helps ease me
into the Post-Graduation period of my life. Start workin' on a new album
while this class is still going on. Transitions, all about transitions.
27th paragraph. I can keep writing indefinitely.
This entry may last the rest of my life if I really wanna make a point about it.
Probably not. But can't count out anything at this point. I wanna
make a point about something. Sounds fun. Is the point.
Jeez. Crap and crap. Usually get 2 double-sized cans of beer on
Monday nights, drink one while writing entry, save 2nd for the next day.
I'm drinkin' both tonight! Starting the second one right now, as things
turn out. Gotta mix it up, that's the point of life. And the point
of downloading that program for a free 60 days. Mix up some music.
Jeez! On the one hand, I don't wanna stop writing
entry. On the other hand, this is bullshit. I've given me a
lot to think about. Started flippin' through Bob Dylan Autobiography I got
2 years ago. Reading a few random pages at a time. The way
Bob Dylan intended, one would imagine. He never explicitly said it, but
I think we could infer he meant us to read it in a nonlinear fashion.
Seems like somethin' he'd be into. What else. In the very small
sample size I've read, every few sentences tend to slant-rhyme with each other.
Genius at work. Wonder what he would say after A, B, C, D...
Probably G. Geniuses pick G. That's been my experience.
29th paragraph. Watched the movie where Robert De Niro
plays an adequate comedian. Pretty good movie. I enjoyed it and it
was pleasant. Also watched the movie where Kong: Skull Island happened.
Pretty good movie, too. John C. Reilly's character is a hoot! No,
scratch that. A Hoot and a Half! Anyway, what the what.
Conan starts soon but I will withhold from watching it for a while. For
Strategy reasons. Maximizing Pleasantness Of Tonight For Me strategy.
Conan is probably smarter than me. He spoke at my high school graduation
and, in retrospect, reading his speech, I think he played up our intelligence in
relation to his a bit. Made it sound like we were smarter than him, and we
all ate it up. He's probably smarter than 90% of us. I feel
comfortable making that prediction. What's the past tense of
prediction. Oh. Alert.
30th paragraph. I don't wanna end it now.
Okay, 35 paragraphs. But no more than that. That's too much as it
is. What else is going on. Eat some crap. Finish beer.
Watch Late Night Comedy Send-Em-Ups. Avoid listening to music.
Unless a new Eminem song "Dropped." Then, who can resist! I don't
know. Six paragraphs. I like the sound of that. A lot of
paragraphs but reasonable. Hopin' Doug Jones wins in a couple of weeks.
It'll be like, that's the absolute bare minimum of the amount of decency our
society should have. And I'll be like Alright! We made the
bare minimum! And wouldn't that be wonderful. You know, that
sort of crap.
31st paragraph. Small but possible chance I get guitar
tomorrow. Sounds fun. Download that program, I could be workin' on
songs as soon as tomorrow afternoon! I got some great lyric fragments,
believe you me. You know, like three word phrases, and stuff? Really
knocked those selections of three words out of the park. Anyway. I
don't know. Crap and crap. Conan started on the TV! And I
paused it. For Strategy! Sometimes I think about the sorry state of
affairs that people can watch whichever TV whenever they want. Instead of
when it aired, like God intended. Anyway, I don't know.
Oh, 32nd paragraph. How about that and whatnot. I
don't know what I'm doing wrong in Solitaire. You're suposed to win 80-90%
of the time. I win maybe 50%. And that's not counting the Redos
I do for the initial dealing. I see a bad original set of cards, fuck
this, I'm starting over. And even with that, finishing maybe 50% to
completion. Pretty sure that qualifies you for a below 100 IQ.
It should, at least. Better than this consecutive odd number nonsense,
is how I feel. What else. Running out of cigarettes. That
should take 10 points off your IQ. Smokin' cigarettes. Lots of
things should do things. That's my take away on things.
Oh no. Only three more paragraphs. I will
re-calibrate at 35. Maybe go for 40 because I'm retarded. Hopefully
not, I can say that safely. No good for you, no good for me. It's a
matter of will power. Bleak House is about a disputed will. Rejected
title was Will Power. That should have been a rejected joke.
Very, very rare I reject a joke. I can't say it never happened, probably
happened once or twice. But, sure, what else is going on. It's
interesting that someone who rapes girls is very likely to be elected to the
senate. We're not even talking about a senator who it turns out raped
adolescent girls. We're talking about a guy, never held the office before,
in the running, and 40-50% of people going, he represents my values.
Jeez. I don't know. And, yeah, it's partly
people going, Yeah, I don't want to believe that, so I'm just gonna pretend
its not true based on me not wanting to believe it. Anyway, I don't
know. What can I do. Probably nothing. That's my
takeaway. What else. What paragraph is this. 34th. Okay.
Alright. Sure. I found out, I think, I forget, but I think I found
out you can easily get your music on Spotify or iTunes without it really being a
thing. So I lost respect I had for people I've met who have that. I
feel lied to and betrayed. And I also feel how do I finagle that sort
of thing with my music. Probably would reject me anyway. They'd
go, Yeah, sure, it's easy, but this crap? Get real.
How dare them. Each song has got guitar tracks and
vocals and everything. Real Music. In the first 10 minutes of class,
AAL Professor goes, You guys like music? And I go Yup.
And that was the end of that discussion. Was kind of hoping it led to
something. Ideally, in a very perfect world, me going, Yeah I do music
no big deal it's kind of a big deal. But, nope. Ya'll
listen to music? Some people nod their heads. Well, let's get
on with the book. How dare them. 35th paragraph. I
don't know, crap and crap. Five more after this. Then I'm cuttin'
36th. Crap and crap. I don't know. Alright,
end is in sight. There's no debate about it. I cut myself off at 40.
So, what else is going on, in the mean time? I hear ya'll been reading
paragraphs. Hope they've been pleasant and all. What else.
Alright, I'm startin' to get behind the idea of stopping. I got stuff on
the horizon for when its over. What else. 40 is a good number. Very
underrated. No one talks about 40 but it's u there with the greats.
What about This Is 40. Yeah, fine, if you wanna count that as talking
about it. It's the title to a major motion picture, can't be any more
talked up. Yeah, but that was a spin-off of another movie.
Huh? Good thing I'm stopping soon. That's
what I got to say about that. There's a good chance the last 20 paragraphs
have been completely unintelligible. No one's arguing that. But I
had fun, right? So it was worth it? Sure. There's an argument
to be made for that. Three paragraphs and change to go. Fine!
I'll stop writing soon! Will that make you happy?! Probably.
Wow. I don't know anymore. I get too eat crap soon is the point.
That'll learn 'em. I don't know. Along with not listening to music
as much, I also gotta wean myself off Twitter. Joy Reid may be a Joy To
Read, but isolating myself from the news and politics will make me happier.
38th paragraph. Alright! Ok, starting to accept
the inevitable fact that this will end. Sweet. Three Ta Go!
Wonderful. Apparently Trump is starting to deny the Access Hollywood
Tapes. The things he already apologized for. What dose that mean.
That he truly no longer believes they were real-- even though he accepted they
were real a year ago? Or that he feels, Yeah, now anything bad happens,
I just say it's not real, even if I already confirmed they were real,
that seems to be working pretty well. I try to imagine a future in a
year or two where we're collectively back on board with facts. It'll take
some back pedaling from conservatives, but I think it's a possibility.
That's a country I'd be proud to live in.
Two paragraphs to go! That's an entry I'd be proud
to live in. What else. I like Chicken McNuggets. They're like
Chicken Nuggets but they do some magic on 'em and make em'
McStephenDouglasenized. That sort of crap. ALright, I'm okay with
ending after the next paragraph. Life is full of compromises. That's
what I've been led to believe. Stephen Douglas was The Great Compromiser.
I think. Sounds right, at least. No it doesn't. Oh
well, live and learn, you take what you could get, such is living, doing things
for strategy. Crap and crap. I could always end the entry at 40
paragraphs... and immediately start writing the next one. But that
would be crazy. And I'm not crazy!
Last paragraph. Whew. Whatta grind. My
bandcamp page got three listens coinciding with 2 visits from the Sidewalk
Coffee Calendar. Two skips and a partial. Alright! One
partial listen! That means they listened to more than 10% of it.
Talk about holding someone's attention seriously. Great. These
songs are two minutes long. Let's do some math. Make one extra
paragraph to accommodate for it. 120 seconds. 10%. 12 seconds.
More than 12 seconds. If it was exactly 2 minutes. Check out that
Math Brain of mine! And I tricked myself into letting myself write
Okay, here it is. 41, whoever heard of 41 anything.
What about Sum 41. What about them, I don't know them too well!
As long as it's not 42. Gets all the good press as a great number
because of that book. 42, who needs it. Not me. What
else. I already started this second can of beer so I guess I'm pot
committed to finishing it tonight. Such is life. One things for
sure, can't listen to Sum 41 tonight. I've sworn off music completely!
Hmm. That kind of bullshit makes me want to write a 42nd paragraph.
But then That Stupid Book Wins! I can't be having books win.
Oh well, live and learn. This Is It. Fairly
confident about that. I never read Hitchhikers, or Catch 22. Both
books which feature 2 digit numbers prominently. Anyway, jeez.
Whatta clunker probably. I had fun writing it, but I'm An Idiot.
Can't forget about that fact. Watch Conan after this. Eat probably
right after Conan. Figure somethin' else out. Someone liked my
Twitter Post from this weekend. Looks like someone's movin' up in the
world! Sweet. You know what? Gonna go for 45
paragraphs. That's a great number. 1945. When WWII ended.
Alright, we're back into the shit!!!
Three to go. That's it! Gotta be. I
would be certifiably crazy if I went over 45 paragraphs. Might as well
lock me up and throw away the key. Just like they did to Lady Dedlock.
The picture shows her wrapped around a cemetery fence in her death pose in the
book. The gate was locked. Looks like I'm a genius!
Anyway, what else. Figured out the girl named Charley is a representation
of him. Another character named Richard, could be a reference to his name
being Dick-ens. I got all these names figured out. Character
I wrote about, Harold Skimpole. Well,Well, Harold's my Dad's
name, so I figured that part out... Skim Milk. Not all the fat in
milk, but still some. Pole. He's a polarizing figure.
Figured that book out. Two paragraphs to go!
Then I'm cuttin' myself off. If I write a 46th paragraph, I will say right
now, I will cause bodily harm to myself. I need to make it real this time
around. Someone in disability class was talking about how when she was in
high school all the cool kids were cutting themselves. Don't know what to
make of that. Seems like the non-cool kids should be doing it. What
do cool kids have to be upset about. Jeez, bodily harm. That
doesn't sound good. Better end it after next paragraph. What
else. 45 paragraphs is fine. 1945. That's when the Cold War
started. Probably. They don't have history on IQ tests so there's
no motivation to learn it. Conan O Brian would know.
But what wouldn't he know. Anyway, what else.
Hey, it's the last paragraph. I'm actually fairly confident this will be
the last paragraph. I got that going for me. Jeez, this entry
shows how little self control I have. Oh well, gotta have some
negative characteristics. That's part of life and whatnot. Anyway.
I can start a new entry tomorrow! Probably not, though. Maybe
Wednesday. That's my best guess. What else. Oh Shit. I
have three minutes until it's 12! Then it's a different day. Okay
gotta end it hmm what else and crap. This paragraph is technically long
enough but lets see what I can add within two minutes. Bullshit and crap I
like writing stuff it makes me feel good. Playing play money poker while
this is going on smoking a cigarette drinking beer ITS STILL 11:57 and I
don't ca-- WAIT ITS 11:58 NOW. Alright. I think that's it.
I'll see ya later.
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
I Ain't Titlin' Nothin'
Did I use that title over the last few weeks? Possibly! Whatta great
title though, can we all agree on that. I think we can. I agree on
it, and there's no one else here. Therefore we 100% agree on it. The
point is Great! Had a dream that I missed some deadlines for this Fall
Semester so I had to retake some classes. Woke up with the knowledge I Got
Plenty Of Time To Do It! That'll show my dreams. How dare them.
Finished Bleak House. Don't really understand why it was a surprise
ending. Without giving anything away, nothing happened. Oh
well, live and learn.
2nd paragraph. Thanksgivening is tomorrow. I
can't wait! I'm gonna eat food and feel vaguely thankful about things in
theory. Anyway. Dunno what to do for Future Next Bottle Of Alcohol.
The last one lasting a month is a Hard Sell to my parents. And I got
no cash on hand. I'll figure something out, believe you me. I mean,
hey, you!... believe me. That's how words work. I was
watching The Shining last night which was pretty scary. Then I changed the
channel to Stephen Colbert which was even scarier. #Topics!
Not because Colbert is scary. But because of Current Events And Whatnot.
Anyway, what the what. How scary is The Shining
really Danny's got an imaginary friend how charming. Anyway, what the
what. Never understood why Tony lived in Danny's mouth. Of all the
places an imaginary friend can live, if you even picture him living
anywhere, why your mouth? Doesn't add up. Anyway, what the
what. Real respectful guy, that Tony. It's always Mrs. Torrence
this, Mrs. Torrence that. He's got Charm and manners!
The blood getting off the elevator never scared me. I've seen blood
before, my body is 90% blood! Get a new gag. I don't know, what
the what. A lot has been said about how the kid who planed Danny didn't
know it was a horror movie. I wonder if he's ever figured it out.
I'd like to imagine him as a 49 year old still not knowing. I'd like to
imagine a lot of things.
Jeez, what the what! Still no money on poker,
but the good news is I'm getting better at Solitaire. Still winning around
the same %, but quicker. Sweet! Giving a little bit of
thought to buying a new 8 Track Recorder. The one I have is fine except
for one thing, where the Audio Out input is messed up, so if I wanna plug in
earphones, or hook it up to an amplifier, I have to insert the cable ever so
delicately and hold it there in place indefinitely. It's a small thing,
but it makes the entire process that much more clunkier. I don't know if
it's worth 300 dollars to buy a whole new thing, though.
Well, I do know. It's not. That settles that.
Crap and crap, what else! Tomorrow is 6 weeks since I brought in guitar to
get fixed. I'm starting to think the guy ran off with my guitar.
Quit his job, left his family, cause he came into possession with my dirty
guitar. Start life anew somewhere else. Seems logical to me.
Fifth paragraph. Cool! I don't know. Watched Hustle & Flow
yesterday. What sparked my new interest in 8 Tracks. Anyway, what
the what? I wonder what places will do if when I order food delivered, and
the Tip and the Total don't match. Do they just pick whichever one is best
for them? I demand answers right now!
Sixth paragraph. Cool. Bleak House paper this
weekend. The Station Agent the next weekend. Then two weeks to write
African American Literature paper. Got it all planned out. Then, who
can say for sure. Not me! I'm starting to understand the Net
Neutrality issue. It's important because of things. They can charge
more for going to competitor's websites. And make your internet connection
worse. That sort of crap. But even worse. What else is
crap. The night I'm booked for my show still doesn't have anyone else
booked. The point is I'm preparing to do 3 hours. Alright!
Made a tentative set list last night or the night before. Pretty much
aiming for a 50% amount of songs I didn't do last time. And it's all in
Live and learn. Hey, I actually lived and
learned! It's about time. Seventh paragraph. Whattado for
the rest of the night. Watched some Forgetting Sarah Marshall last night.
Horrifying. That's my takeaway from things. Only the 7th
paragraph? That's no good. I got at least 9 to go. Oh
well, live and learn. Well, four paragraphs to go, possibly, I guess,
commas. I think The Shining is a Thanksgiving Movie because of all that
food he ate while locked in the kitchen stock room. That's my theory.
I don't know. Whattado. Hey, hmm. Let's see. Erm.
I guess I could watch the later viewing of Maid In Manhattan. I saw
10 minutes in the middle where they talk about Jennifer Lopez sitting on
someone's face. That's a plot development I can get behind!
Sure. Puns, whatever, I'll take it. Cause the
guy's face was on a magazine, she sat on the magazine. Get your head
out of the gutter. Eighth paragraph. Three to go! I don't
believe it. Lots of people being accused of sexual harassment. I
think the entire Media Industry should do a Shuffle Up And Deal, and get new
people into every position. Can't be worse than what's currently in place.
Just hit Shuffle on everything. That's my hot take. And
that's how I ended up being an executive producer on Meet The Press.
All my dreams have come true!
2 to go! Whatta joy. I could get away with not
reading anything more for this semester, that being 2 and a half books for AAL.
We'll see if I read 'em anyway. As of now, it's about a 50/50 shot.
Ah, the Golden Ratio. 1:1. Sounds golden to me, what else.
What else is going on in My Life. In my life, I loved you more.
That's a given. If you loved me so much, why isn't it In Your
Life. "Your" being me. Seems like it's still about you and not me.
I'm gonna write a letter to Michael Jackson because he owns The Beatles or
something. Even in death. Shouldn't 10% of the Beatles Songs have
gone to the government when Michael Jackson died? We still have the
estate tax the last time I checked. Probably Woulda taken the song
Taxman, that's a given.
Any other jokes I could make on that.
Probably. What else is going on for this paragraph. Money
(That's What I Want). Close enough. I don't know. If I
just said Money without the (That's What I Want) you
wouldn't have known what I was talking about. Now we're on the same page
and whatnot. Wow, almost done. 10 paragraphs is a lot.
I don't know. Wow, I can stop it at any time I want. But I want a
few more sentences. Enjoy your Thanksgivenings, everyone. Who knows
where we'll be for next one. 2018, the future. And the end of
2018, at that! I can't even imagine. See ya later.
Monday, November 20, 2017
Titles Can't Save You Now!
Oh no! I was counting on titles to save me. If not now, then at some
point in the future. Anyway, Monday Night. Wrote six or seven
paragraphs during Class Break but decided to just scrap them. It was a
real drudge. Wait, I mean sledge. And by sledge I really mean
sludge. Let's settle on Sledge. Was a real sledge.
Drudge is a portmanteau of Doctor and Fudge. Cracked that code.
Anyway, what the what. Basic Facts Of Life that I mentioned during Lunch
Paragraphs will be repeated here, to a greater effect! 1) Have idea
for AAL Paper. 2)... Wait hold on. Let me think for a god dam
second. THe paper is about how the writers of whatever books I use
from AAL Class, well, I forget. It's good though, don't doubt that.
Huh? This is the better version of how this
entry might play out? Get Off My Back About It! The point is I
got three essays to write over the next 4 weeks and I know what I'm writing
about for all of them. Except one. But that one doesn't count.
Let Me Think For a God Dam Second C'mon! The End is in sight is the
point. Assuming I do graduate. Sent an e-mail to Advising Center
hopefully to verify that. Then, after these papers, smooth sailing.
on The Ocean To Nowhere. Oceans don't really go places. They
separate places. It's not rivers we're talking about here or anything.
What about Ocean Currents. Hmm. Sounds like I just got my
idea for my 3rd paper! Ocean Currents in Bleak House.
Alright! What else. Had Halal Food for
lunch/early dinner. That settles that. Went to Podcast on Friday.
It was alright. I liked the part where I Was Doin' Somethin. I wish
I was always doin' something. Well, not always. Maybe like 50-60% of
the time, I wish I was doin' something. That's the golden ratio if I ever
heard one. I wonder what the golden ratio really is. Do Unto
Others, that's it, right? I typed in Golden Ratio into Google and it
shot back 1.618... That doesn't help me at all.
What's so great about that number. I think the golden ratio is the
amount of women you could sexually harass until it becomes likely it will come
back to haunt you in an alternate future reality where people seem to vaguely
care about that kind of thing.
Alright! Fourth paragraph. Thankgivings
coming up. When they first started celebrating Thanksgiving, did they make
any effort to invite our American Indian Friends to re-live it. After the
first one, they were like, Oh Man, We Gotta Do That Shit Again.
Same time next year? But then they couldn't send them any reminders
through the mail because American Indians don't believe in the postal service.
So they got left out of the tradition. Or maybe the colonists didn't want
them in the first place. They taught us how to Maize and then the next
year the American Indians showed up to party and the colonists were like,
It's Cool, We Got This. And the American Indian cried in a fashion
similar to that anti-trash commercial.
Huh? The point is Great. I'm reading a
book about slavery where the Underground Railroad was a real Underground
Railroad. And I was like, Hmm, that seems pretty crazy, kind of hard to
get involved in this book, too absurd. But then I was like, which
is crazier, that we could have invented and built underground railroads in the
19th century, or that for centuries and centuries we kept millions and
millions of people in human bondage under the worst conditions possible.
Message! Anyway, what the what. Fifth paragraph.
I don't know. Too bad American Indians can't appreciate that message.
Don't believe in the postal service.
I don't, either. Can you believe they didn't
even write Such Great Heights? It's a cover! I feel taken
advantage of. What else. The point if I had Halal Food for
lunch/early dinner and have left over Duck & Stuffing & Yam for second dinner/fourthmeal.
I pretty much blew my load on thanksgiving except with duck instead of turkey.
It's ok. I can get whatever I want for Thanksgiving! Pretty sure
eating non-Thanksgiving food on Thanksgiving is the main thing 'value voters'
are against. They want a candidate to make sure we eat the right stuff
on certain holidays. Otherwise, The Jews Win. Jews,
terrorists. Same difference. Hah. I got to say fourthmeal.
What paragraph we at. Seventh. Not a lot to
do these days other than tangibly count down until I have all the work done for
College and all the time done for College. And then, presumably, pick up
my fixed electric guitar, play four discordant chords, and Call It A Life?
It's good to have stuff to look forward to. I like eating Duck because 90%
of the time it's like eating poultry and 10% of the time it's just I'm gonna
chew on a huge wad of fat! And you can't argue with that golden
ratio. I heard Trump was into Golden Ratio's. Not really.
I read it. Totally different sense.
Eighth paragraph! Cool. I saw another example of
systemic racism taking the other LIRR branch to and from Brooklyn the other day.
Trains are worse, slower, dirtier, the stations are built less solidly.
I'm onto their tricksies. Anyway, what the what. Thanksgiving, eh?
What else. Maybe aim for 15 paragraphs. Ten would be easier.
20 would be sexier. 15 really has nothing going for it. But that's
how you get a good compromise. I read that somewhere. A good
compromise is when no one's happy. So, basically, say you've got a
family. Your son wants to go to KFC. Your daughter wants Taco Bell.
Your wife wants Chipotle. You want Boston Market. Good compromise?
Set the car on fire and go to sleep in a gazebo. No one's happy there,
therefore, good compromise. Not such a great compromise for The Gazebo.
Or The Car, for that matter. Well, you didn't say they were players.
I blame you for all of this.
Ninth paragraph. Or, just keep creating portmanteaus.
You combine both ideals into a word, that's a compromise right there!
You want KFC and I want Boston Market? Fine! Let's Just Get
JFSmarket. ...Apparently, in that portmanteau, I confused JFK with
KFC. There is the knock-off of KFC called Kennedy Fried Chicken.
So there is some precident for there being confusion there. A real
Portman Two, that was. Because What Else Is Going On. I don't
know. Yeah, anyway. I was thinking about the Beasite Boys
illustrious career, as one does, and it gave me some good context
thinking baout myself as a potential writer/muisician/comedier/artist.
They essentially successfully stayed young men through their art into their
50's, I'd say. I don't know how old they are now (and one's dead), but you
tell me, The Beastie Boys are 51, just put out a new album, I'd be like,
Ah, I can't wait for that youth-infused music! So, I realized, in
2040, I'll be 51. So I got the rest of the 10's, the 20's, the 30's, to do
comedy/music/art/writing, and be young man doing it! That's a lot of time
to knock some crap out of the park.
So I got that to look forward to. And maybe by 2050, 60
will be the new 50. Anyway. In the 1970's, No was the new
Yes. Old yes. I don't know how time works.
Anyway, crap and crap. Is it possible they're just gonna start hiring
women less because they don't want to tempt their fragile, fragile powerful men
with committing sexual assault? My guess? I don't know. I hope
not. It would be a net negative for us as a peoples. Anyway, I don't
know. Alright. One 5-7 page paper on The Station Agent and Dwarfism.
Easy. One 18-25 page paper on looking at "Post-Racial" texts in how
they assume authority and what purpose they use it for. Medium.
One 5-7 page paper on Bleak House in some respect. Gonna be easy once I
Then GRADUATE. I'll get all sort of Congraduations
from all sorts of people. Then, who knows. I'm gonna guess either
attempting to do music or writing comedy for as long as possible until I force
myself to get a job. Point is huh? What paragraph we at.
11. I think part of the reason I think 51 is young is I've been living
with my parents too long. Another reason is that my best friends are 51
year old comedians and talk show hosts. Kind of a one sided best
friendmenships there. Oh well, you take what you can get at this age.
I don't know. 11? I can aim for 20. That sounds good.
And this is going, if I may say, a solid C-/C. Whereas the 6 paragraphs I
wrote during Lunch Break was a very generous D/D+.
Anyway, I do not know. Will be celebrating Thanksgiving
to some extent. Have some sort of dinner with my immediate family.
That's fun. I like doin' stuff. And that surely counts as a
Something Did. Anyway. Still not 100% sure I graduate after this
semester, but I did send an inquiry, so I will be finding out either way at
least. I don't know. I may not be able to do the 1 open mic I
thought I'd be able to do a week before my show. That's when AAL Paper is
due. But I could presumably finish it several days early and hand it in
earlier. Presumably. I don't know, crap and crap.
13th paragraph. Cool! That's how time works.
My favorite writers, musicians, and comedians are now in their 50's. And
that's not old age. It's middle aged! And being middle aged is
young! So we all got that collectively going for us. The point is
I'm trying to intellectually compensate for having lost my entire 20's to this
mental illness equivalent of a pesky STD. I don't know if that makes
sense. I've got a mental illness, what do I care?! Probably
one of the main benefits. You don't have to make sense out of things, not
your problem anymore. I don't know, crap and crap. 13th paragraph
still. That's great and whatnot. I don't know.
14th paragraph now. The 13th paragraph can Go To Hell!
20 seems logical and within reach and whatnot. Whattado with the rest of
night. Eat some crap at some point. Get started on my six day
weekend. That sort of crap. 20 well within reach. Just six and
a half paragraphs to go! My brother told me during my show, there was a
guy who appeared to work there who was listening attentively. All goes to
back up my working theory that people there respect me to an intriguing
degree. I don't believe it! Yeah, that's probably the main thing
in the back of my mind of what to do after Graduate. Resume doing open mics and
start working on new music. Not sure how reasonable it is, but that's how
it's looking right now.
15th paragraph. I don't know if its because they've
been tracking my search engine inquiries or what, but I've been getting Ads on
Facebook from Columbia for MFA programs I might be interested in. One day
it was a Non-Fiction MFA, another one it was a Poetry MFA, today it was a
Screenwriting/Directing MFA. So the point is I'm a pretty lazy guy,
think I'll go to Columbia for an MFA Program. I don't have that kind
of cheese. I don't know, what else. No smoking break tonight with
Professor. Just as well. We'll have to find new best friends next
semester anyway. Better we ease into it gradually, both of us. Or
ease out of it. Either way, it's easy.
Five paragraphs to go most likely! Cool! Aiming
to finish one of my Disabilities Papers, while starting one of the other ones,
for this Thanksgiving Break. That's my aim and whatnot. Five
paragraphs. Hmm. I don't know. The question is now, what do I
do for the rest of the week beyond eating, spending a few hours on homework, and
maybe writing two or three more entries. No money on poker. Not a
lot of TV goin' on. No electric guitar. Just me and my lonesome.
Hmm. I'll figure something out. I could listen to music, but can't
overdo it. You listen to too much music, then where does that get you?
Absolutely nowhere, that's how I feel.
Fourth paragraph. I mean, four more paragraphs.
Maybe put money on poker, I don't know. Makes a fair amount of sense.
But I need to learn how to live without playing poker in the background
eventually. Might as well learn now. Tried a new brand of beer on
Friday I had never had. Allagash White. I wouldn't lie to you-- not
to your face. I liked going to Brooklyn. It was like, it's been a
minute since I've been here. It's been a minute? Am I saying
that right? The point is Great, whattado when this is over.
18th paragraph. Jeez. Nothin' to do. Whatta
jip. Here I've been doing stuff and now I'm faced with the lack of
opportunity to do stuff. How ironic. I think I rushed to judgment
too quickly on Al Franken, but then I un-rushed to judgment by rushing back to
unrush the rushed judgment. I saw the clip of their little skit and it was
pretty innocuous. But then I also saw someone else accused him of
something since then. So the point is maybe I just shouldn't judge.
Or, maybe it just doesn't matter. Both make strong and compelling
2 paragraphs to go. Whatta world. Probably some
sort of TV I could figure out to watch. Like seasons I haven't been
keeping up with. Simpsons, The Mick, White Famous. New Rap Game this
week or next, too. I don't believe it. I have to write a supermarket
list for tomorrow. So I got that going for me. I felt like having
popcorn a few nights ago but we didn't have any. Gotta rectify that for
Future Situations. So that's something to keep in mind. Only one
more paragraph after this one. Better make this one count, then. So,
Have You Heard The News that Mike Pence is Vice President? Get
load of this guy! Whatta square. Seems like a deviant if you ask me.
Still waiting for #LetsPromoteMikePence to trend.
Oh, wait. It's #Let'sPromoteMikePence. That explains why I
haven't seen it. Glad we got that out of the way. So what else is
going on and crap. If the spectrum of humanity didn't exist beyond Old
White Men, Joe Biden and Mike Pence would be on opposite ends of the spectrum.
But, with the correct view of the spectrum of humanity, they're pretty similar.
They're Old White Men. But if all you knew was Old White Men, you could
see how they might appear polar opposites. The point is Great I Finished
This Entry. I'll see ya later.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Titles! Half Off!
Whatta discount! Anyway, crap. Wednesday class is over. You
know what that means. Pretty self explanatory. The point is
let's hope this entry writes itself. I got no patience for doing things
without them doing themselves! None! Podcast Friday Night.
Friday Night Podcast. Pretty good name for a podcast. I'll
suggest it to them in their Q and A session. Never too late to improve
upon your title. I had an idea for a podcast called This Second?
but I forget why it was a potentially good and appropriate title to a podcast.
Oh, it was supposed to be a radio show, too. Which comes on at the same
time every week. And you gotta listen to it that second.
That's how Radio Works.
Back-up title was, "Radio Works." Anyway, what
else is going on. What the what and such. Got Chicken Pot Pie for
dinner later. It's Pie + Meat. Can't argue with that equation.
The point is Great. Whatta do for the weekend. See if I can get
Advisement through e-mail to find out if I can graduate. E-mail AAL
Professor idea for Paper. FFigure out idea for paper. That
should probably come first. I got a rough idea, formulating and such
even as we speak. Gotta do some preliminary preparations for
Disabilities Paper. The point is great what else. Gotta get to at
least 10 paragraphs. That's the aim at this point. Then, by the time
I'm at 10 paragraphs, I'll be in a groove and keep going. That's my
Somethin' about how in the modern era, musicians are still
exploited financially probably and in terms of their art possibly. Gotta
fashion their persona and music to be financially lucrative and such. I
don't know any of this crap, I'd have to do some research. I guess.
The point is Great, what else is going on and crap. I had a dream a couple
of nights ago that I understood the space-time continuum. I was like oh
this makes sense. Don't 100% remember, though. Such is life.
Part of it was like, we have a bunch of atoms in the universe, what if each atom
was one possibility of how time plays out.
Anyway, crap and crap. Fourth paragraph. Without
biological life, is all of physics just one way it can go? Isn't their
like fluctuations on levels below atoms that are random? I don't know.
Gonna make my first podcast guest a theoretical physicist. Then make
fart noises while he's talking. That's the logical way to take my
life. Anyway, today is 11/15. Exactly one month after the 10/15--
the date that makes time travel possible. That was October 21st.
Pretty close! It's safe to assume the date that set everything into
motion on October 21st being The Day in every Back II The Future was October
21st. Six days before, makes sense to me. Six dimensions. That
settles that. Now they say there's 11 dimensions. Yeah, but
that's stupid. There's only six dimensions. Anyone with half a brain
could figure that out.
The point is Great. What is it, fifth paragraph?
I can dig it. I gotta do it this second? There,
now we're talking. I second that! Anyway, crap and crap.
And I can start off each show with playing one of my songs. Because my
constant ulterior motive in life is tricking people into listening to my music.
Anyway, what the what. Can we just ask Moore on the record is it true
you were banned from a mall? Cause that's a pretty straightforward way
to determine he's full of shit. And the mall would want to back up their
story, probably. One third through Fall, which is the third season of the
year. That's Oct 21 in a nutshell. Really makes ya think.
Maybe the movie opened on Oct 21 1985. That's a possibility. Really
make em feel like they're in the movie.
Sixth paragraph. I don't want to believe that time is a
dimension. It makes me feel stupid that I don't understand it and makes my
life feel stupid that in a sense it's already happened. Not a fan.
Crap and crap. What else is going on. Apparently two stars collided
a few months ago which made people understand physics. Beyonce and Jay
Z got together years ago, why didn't they understand it then? Cause
they're stars. And they collided once or twice if you know what I mean.
Heeey. What else is going on. Do you know what I mean?
I was talking about sex. Ask your parents about it.
Okay. That's one way to write a paragraph.
Why do we sometimes use the phrase Super Star to talk about people.
What exactly is a super star. Pretty sure that's not a thing in astro-physics.
Is it just because of alliteration? E-mail me your answers at
email@example.com. Anyway, crap
and crap. We should celebrate Thanksgiving by showing up at American
Indian Reservations and demanding they make us food. Sorry. Wasn't
my best joke-em-up. Probably in the bottom 10,15% of all the joke-em-ups
in my lifetime. Oh well, live and learn. Seventh paragraph.
Eighth paragraph. Even cooler! What's this
obsession with coolness, is there some sort of climate change in the future?
Yes! You figured it out! Pretty sure they knew about climate
change in 1985. Maybe not the public, but scientists and whatnot. I
took a class about it and everything. Crap and crap, what else is going
on. I remember in third grade I had a portable fan I took to school with
me and portably cooled myself whenever I felt like it. Probably. I
don't know. I don't get why, when my dad heats up chicken pot pie, he only
needs to put it in the oven for 40 minutes, and when I do it, I need an hour and
a half. And presumably it's at roughly the same cookedness. Must be
doin' something wrong. Oh, yeah, that's right. I don't
understand how time works.
Damnit! Anyway, crap and crap. Emimem's
new CD "drops" on Friday. Oh boy. This is my most anticipated album
release since a few weeks ago! Anyway, playing one of them good freerolls
in poker that pop up about once a week. Maybe even win me some 40 cents.
Then, double up every day, I'll be a trillionare in a couple of months.
It's about time. I think to become a trillionare I'd have to literally
bust every other person on this poker playing website. Seems like a
logical outcome. Bustin' makes me feel good. What else is
going on. I wonder who the world's first trillionare will be. I've
narrowed it down to probably not me. I'd like to be, sure.
But odds are narrowly against it.
10th paragraph! Hey, I am in a groove!
I knew it! Had to bend the nature of time to figure it out, but oh well!
Just lost most of my money in Freeroll. Wait, scratch that. I
still want to learn Freecell. There, there we go. But I did
lose most of my money in Freeroll. That settles that! What else
is crap! I remember in the 90's watching TV while my Mom would play
Freecell and being like whatta chump. Freecell isn't that great.
Still don't know how to play it, though. Probably some Freudian stuff
going on with Freecell in my life, that's my guess. Watched a Woody Allen
movie last night I had never seen. Jason Biggsby Smalls and Christina "My
Last Name Is" Ricci. It was fine. I got no complaints.
Except for how Woody Allen is a sexual predator most likely.
Are we still talking about sexual predators? That was so last
week. That's my take on current events. Sorry. What
else is going on. 11th paragraph. I don't believe it! I should
have started my testosterone therapy five weeks ago but my endocrinologist has
gone MIA. That's right, she released the song Paper Planes.
That was a good song of the times. That's my take on things. What
else is crap. That's right, she collaborated with Ted Leo to be the
subject matter of a song. What else is going on.
12th paragraph. I got that going for me. Chance
The Rapper hosting SNL this week. Seems like a cool dude. He's no
Community Chest The Rapper, but still good. Lost in Freeroll.
That'll show me. What did I do to deserve this. Oh you'll
find out. Crap! In the meantime, what else is going on.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I got back into Rap.
Probably Very Different, is my guess. At some point, it's gonna happen.
Sooner or later. In the meantime, though, let's listen to Weezer.
Anyway, crap and crap. I have a few theories of what Weezer could mean.
We Easyer. Like they do hard rock bordering on metal, but easier to
listen to for the layman. Wee Easyer. They urinate easier
than other people. Maybe a male/female thing. Wheezer.
This is the correct thing according to my research-- he wheezed as a child and
they called him this. That's all I got off the top of my head, but I'm
pretty sure I've thought of even more alternatives.
13th paragraph. I got that going for me. What
does Eminem mean? 1)his initials are M M. That's really more of an M
and M, not an m in M. Like, for me the first letter of my
name is M, and the last letter of my last name is M. That's more of an M
in M. 2) Candy. 3)not sure. I'd speculate about Chance the
Rapper, but I have no context. Get back to me when I'm into rap again.
So I got that going on. What else. I think there should be more rap
with rock music in the background. That's my hot take on things.
Just lost in a worse freeroll. Time to learn freecell. Gotta do
somethin', right? Probably.
14th paragraph. There's one Freeroll every few days
where the prize is literally nothing. When you lose the freeroll, you have
the option of paying 50 cents to re-buy into it. And the entire prize is made up
of the money people paid to stay in. So, for some reason, there's usually
2 or 3 dollars that are spread amongst the top 9 finishers. Why do people
pay money to stay in it? Because they're very, very stupid.
So I got that going on? What else. Semester End is creeping up.
And it's potentially College End. Oh boy. Whattado, whattado.
I almost got hit by a car on Monday. I wasn't really paying attention
crossing the street around Queens College, and, well, yeah. But I'm still
alive! I got that going for me.
But then there's the alternate reality where I kept walking
an extra second and am now Dead. So I got that going for me? Crap
and crap. And then there's that alternate reality where Woodsy Allen
decided not to make a movie with Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci. A
world I don't want to live in! Crap and crap, 15th paragraph. I
wrote an entry after all. Good stuff. And I still got more to go!
Now we're talking Great Night. Anyway, jeez. I can't remember if
I poured alcohol into this soda. Huge predicament. I pour more,
too much alchol. I don't pour more, I'm drinking regular soda like a
chump. Only logical thing to do is pour it down the drain and start from
scratch. I think I'll just drink it the way it is now.
Probably Chump-Like, but that's how I feel.
16th paragraph. Jeez. I can't even decide whether
it tastes like alcohol or not. It tastes a little bit like alcohol, but it
also tastes a lot like no alcohol. Whatta jip. Crap and crap.
The point is I need to stay more focused in life, particularly on orange-soda
related incidents. What else is going on. Someone asked me for
change today and I was like I don't have any which is true, and they
believed me. They were like, Thank you anyway, God bless you.
I guess I just got one of those faces that's not only believable, but also says
to its beholder, I Got No Change. So I got that going for me I
17th paragraph. Senate might be 51-49 in a month.
That would be good because of my sense of politics. Jones is supposed to
be relatively conservative, though, but still exponentially better than a
republican. Also, pretty sure voters will get confused, because Moore and
Jones, I feel, are pretty similar names. Both pretty popular last names,
both 5 letters, O is the second letter in each name, there's an E in there for
both. That's my Hot Take On Politics. There should be a movement
that wants to elect both of them called Jonesing for Moore! Because
that's something that might happen in whatever alternate reality we're going
towards as of this moment. I also feel kind of guilty that alternate
realities are popping up every second of my life because of whatever chance is
dictating this version of my future. I wanna be like, don't trouble
yourself, universe, don't mind me.
But I can't. Universe listens to nobody.
Let's pretend time isn't a dimension. Then we all go home happy.
What else is going on. Maybe it isn't, people have been wrong before.
That's my hot take. Crap and crap. 18th paragraph. I don't
know. I may not have been drinking the last 10 minutes, like a
chump. That's life, I guess. What else. I've had
several Michael Myers dreams the last few months. Which is weird because
I'm not particularly a fan of those movies or very much knowledgable about them.
The dream last night, and may be a constant remember correctly, is this guy
is gonna kill me over and over again, not much I can do. Yeah, that's
another thing. I get killed once, respawn, get killed again, respawn...
and I think last night I decided to just sacrifice myself to try to help others
live. Cause I knew he was just gonna keep killing me either way.
Yeesh. 19th paragraph. Go for 25, maybe even 30.
My Hot Take. Lean Pocket. Pretty sure Lean Pockets are just Hot
Pockets with less filler. Cracked that code. Anway. If
I were a lady I'd call my lady parts my Hot Pocket. That's my hot
take on things. Just poured some Snapple and definitely added
alcohol. Back on track with life! It's about time.
Whattado when I graduate. I got a show booked for two weeks after that.
Thats pretty good. Probably have Electric Guitar Fixed. Then start
writing rap songs with rock music in the background. Only logical way for
my life to continue. My Hot Take.
20th paragraph! I don't believe it! A filter
broke off from one of my cigarettes while it was in the pack and now I'm smoking
that cigarette. Ahh, now that's fresh even-more-carcinogens!
It's about time. Anyway, what the what. Crap and crap.
There better be a Woodsy Allen movie on tonight that I haven't seen, or
there'll be hell to pay! Anyway, jeez. AAL Professor put his
hand on my shoulder during Monday's Class and it made me feel uncomfortable.
Logically, it wasn't inappropriate in any way, but I guess I'm not comfortable
with people touching me in any way. Oh well, that's life I guess.
Possibly 10 paragraphs to go? We'll see! Five, at
least. Possibly more likely, too. We'll see. Gotta get back on
track. Make this part of the entry really worthwhile and crap. Hmm.
What can I really do when I graduate. I've narrowed it down to don't
continue taking undergraduate classes. So that's good. Anyway,
crap and crap. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm gonna do for
the next four hours, let alone when I graduate. So that settles that and
whatnot. Woody Allen has gotten pretty passive-aggressive with his titles.
Anything Else. Whatever Works. These are two examples.
Crap and crap, 22nd paragraph! Four to go at least.
Probably that's it. Already hit a wall this last paragraph or two.
The point is Let's Get Back On Track. I got some Life in store for after
this entry. Gotta imagine there'll be some TV. Reading MSNBC
Personalities on Twitter. Chicken Pot Pie. Maybe even More Drinking
if I play my cards right. So there's stuff to look forward to after this
ends, is the point. Anyway. I just looked at myself in the mirror
and I have to shave. You know, so there's less facial hair on my face than
there is right now? I can't be explaining everything to you.
23rd paragraph! I don't believe it! I'm just
gonna end it after this paragraph. That means One More Paragraph.
Explain'd It. Crap and crap. That means I'll be ready to watch
TV for the 8:00 timeslot. I'll be ready before then, but that's the
timeslot where things start that I'll be able to watch in completion. So,
great, whatever. I saw The Rap Game is coming back soon. It isn't a
game. It's the rap game. That's what commercials have told me.
But this time around, I know Jermaine Dupri is short. So that adds some
excitement to the whole thing. Might as well go for 25 paragraphs.
2 to go. The Rap Game contestants have to be
getting progressively worse, right? Presumably these are kids who didn't
make the cut the first 3 times around. So, great, what else is going on.
Gotta spend each paragraph as if its the last paragraph. That's philosophy
on how to live each paragraph. Anyway, what else. I don't care about
time. I'm gonna live my life, 4th dimensions be damned. That's my
Hot Take on things. What else. Finish this paragraph soon, then one
more paragraph, then Watch Some Great 8:00 PM TV. Sounds good to me and
whatnot. Real good use of time.
25. Bam. Well, not bam yet. Still only
the beginning of 25. So, great, what else. Got 18 minutes until
8. Figure this'll take anywhere from 4 minutes to more minutes than 18.
Haven't put Food in Oven yet. Not really hungry as of now. I had a
Wake Up Wrap before class from D & D. Which I believe is a Dungeons and
Dragons reference. There's no "And" in Dunkin Donuts. Touche.
What else. Hey, I Got Somethin' To Do on Friday! That's good.
Also, start practicing for next Music Show. It's in six weeks and a day,
but I feel like I could stomach starting to practice around the next few days.
Sweet. Paragraph is already long enough to end. Still 14 minutes
until 8. Gonna go for 26!
Why? Because I Have Problems! This is it.
What else. I thought about checking out what's playing at 8, but I don't
wanna ruin the surprise. My guess is settling for some lifetime or such
show. One of them channels that's in the hundreds for me. That sort
of crap. I wonder if Interventions make people do drugs more. Cause
they wanna get on TV. My guess is Probably Not But They Should Still Do
Some Scientific Studies On Just To Confirm. What else. Pretty much
done. So that's pretty good. 26 more paragraphs than I had 2 and a
half hours ago. Not bad. I'll see ya later!
Monday, November 13, 2017
Make Titles Make Titles Titles, or: Titlin' Makes Me Feel Good!
Hey! Someone read me my weekly horoscope, about how I got lots and lots
going on, and I got to focus on one thing. Which I interpreted to mean
Crazysheet. Class was runner up, but that's five hours a week.
Crazysheet can be 10 or more. So lets get practical about it. Lost
all Poker Money. That's one thing down that I shouldn't focus on.
Cigarettes make a strong case, but focusing on cigarettes is a surefire way to
make them les enjoyable. Anyway, went to the doctor today, and the person
before me passed out when they were taking his blood. Then, when I came
in, I asked if the guy was okay, and they gave me an award for being Sensitive.
Hey. Who needs poker when you've got Solitaire.
E-mail me your answers at firstname.lastname@example.org
Anyway. Get somethin' to eat in half an hour. Academic Discussion
tonight. Then spend the next 40 hours thinking about crazysheet.
That's what Horoscope told me to do. And I'm in no position to argue.
Anyway. What's going on in the wide world of TV. Maybe getting a new
one within a month. I guess in practice, that'll end up being what I focus
on. Watching TV. But really making the most out of it, you know?
Do it right this time. Anyway. Eminem's song growing on me.
Sometimes I feel like I want to try freestyle rap. Wait, no.
Sometimes I feel like learning Freecell Solitaire. There, that's what I
meant. Maybe there's a Scrabble Program I can play on Computer.
You're Playing and Learning at the same time! I don't believe it!
Smoking a cigarette right outside campus, lady from
Disabilities CLass saw me and offered me a ride. Now we're talking Great
Classmate. I explained how I have class later and have to smoke off
campus. Still, though-- Great Citizen. Learnin' about autism in
Disabilities Class. I was reminded of myself back in high school, and I
exhibited some major signs of autism. For two or three years, just sat in
silence and stared at my desk in every class, simultaneously hating everyone and
wanting everyone to be my friend. I'm not that way anymore, though.
Now I draw boxes in my notebook instead of staring at my desk.
Can you only be autistic for a few years? My guess?
Probably. Fourth paragraph. I don't believe it. Anyway.
I haven't gotten an award in seven hours, and that's even if you count that
imaginary award I won. I feel like I'm more or less due. Poetry Book
for today's AAL Class was a snooze. I blame the poetry industry. The
bloated Poetry Establishment. Big Po-em. That sort of crap.
It could just be, those two or three years, I was incredibly tired.
Four hours of sleep per day, I just didn't have the energy to lift my head.
And understand social cues and being in the moment. That sort of crap.
Fifth Paragraph. Man does it feel good to focus on
something. That's an Adult thing to do. Stay focused. And
we all know I'd like to become an Adult someday. Jeez. I'm
focused on the horoscope telling me to focus as my one thing. Sounds
good to me. One hand washes the other. Theoretically.
Sometimes when I ass urine, I go to the sink like I'm gonna wash my hands, turn
the faucet on, and then don't wash my hands. Too lazy. Crap.
I saw that in the high 30's of percent are more likely to vote for Moore
since his sexual assaulting came to light. Hmm. So it turns out
society is irredeemable. Good to know. And it's all
evangelicals! I got nothin'. It's just rick-diculous.
Sixth paragraph. All this focus is really paying
off. Might get food in roughly 15 minutes. Not gonna smoke a
mid-break cigarette. Too lazy and whatnot. Crap and crap. I
wouldn't be surprised if Moore's campaign hires a lady to accuse him of sexual
assault, then they disprove it, and it makes people think all of them
were lying. Sounds like a sound political move. Except they
didn't anticipate I'd think of it first! That settles
that. I think there's something to the focus/cigarette equation. For
better or worse. Or same. Definitely one of those.
While Hospital Emergency was happening, I asked a nurse who
was ust watching it unfold if she could approximate how long it would be till I
could get my blood work done. She acted like I was not only the Biggest
Asshole In The Hospital, but also like I was too mentally feeble to conceptually
understand the nature of there being a person sick causing a minor emergency.
That's what made my Sensitivity Award all the more sweet. Get food after
this paragraph. Great, just great. I think I will smoke a
cigarette. Be back in a jiffy! Which I believe is a peanut
Hey, I have more slices of pizza than I did before!
Great! Eighth Paragraph. Focus on eating pizza now. Focus on
Academic Discussion in an hour. I'm not doing what I'm supposed to
do--I'm supposed to focus on one thing indefinitely, not whatever I happen to be
doing at the time. Like a chump. Anyway. I'm gonna
drink tonight. That'll learn me for trying to stay focused! Try to
stay here another half hour. THat would hit the spot. Likely would
be lucky to get to 20 minutes. That's how I feel. I like talking to
people about politics. It's like, they say how they truly feel, and I just
nod along. Like the bad guy in Tiberian Sun! There's a reference
Ninth paragraph! Sweet. Semester ends in
exactly four weeks. Then its time to focus on bigger and better things.
Probably gonna have cream cheese and a bagel for "dinner" tonight. Onto
bigger and better cheeses! Point is Yo Whassup. I had to explain
Napster to someone today. No judgment. Jeez. I'm eating
cheese on bread right now. But I will replace tomato sauce with
toasted. Alright, great. One more paragraph here, then call it a
day. Until tonight. Which is'nt much day when you think about it.
Point is Wow check out this guy's focus. I don't know why.
Tenth paragraph. I need some floss. Got crushed
red pepper stuck in my teeth. Who am I kidding, I'd just pretend to
floss anyway. Crap and crap. I don't know. Therapist never
listened to my CD. Good, one less thing to focus on. I have
it narrowed down to Crazysheet, cigarettes, or Academic Discussions. If
only we as humans had the inherent capabilities to multi-task. That's
loser talk. My Horoscope wouldn't like me saying that. Gotta get
back on track. Focus. I wonder what Ill focus on next.
Hmm, I've been focusing less since Horoscope. Whatta jip.
Alright, see you later tonight.
Hey, it's now. Later tonight. The time that
is after that crap but before you read it. A real Crazysheet
Sunset, if you will. Anyway. Focusin, huh? That's what I was
focused on back then. Now I'm focused on how to keep myself busy without
any poker. This is gonna take a lot of focus to figure this one out!
Anyway, crap and crap. I impressed Professor today by humming the tune to
The Entertainer. That settles that Academic Discussion.
Anyway. He split us into groups which we had to talk to. There was a
girl in my group! I don't mean to brag or anything. Then, when we
were reporting our Conversation Results to the class, she was saying stuff, and
Professor wanted her to elaborate, and I jumped in and elaborated for
her! Thus increasing the amount of respect both Professor and Student had
Life. Wonderful. I don't have any Camel
Blues left. I had half a pack that fell behind my desk, and that's the end
of that. I don't have the time to pull forward my desk for 10 seconds.
That's 10 seconds I could have spend writing this sentence. Anyway, what
the what. Reality of Class Ending is creeping up on me. Had a very
general idea of what to do for AAL Paper. One of the books was all about
African-American popular music post-slavery, like spirituals, and then ragtime,
and then potentially jazz and blues. And I'll be like, Yo, this is how
the current state of the music industry is similar and different from
these times we've learned so much about through poetry. It's got a lot
going for it. It's a topic-- that's key. I like music-- good.
Three-- what was I talking about?
It turns out I'm a lot, a lot, happier without focus.
I hope I never have to focus again! Without focus, couldn't have
elaborated Conversation Results for the girl. I guess it has its time
and place. Anyway, what the what. Also, that horoscope was for the
entire week. Anyway. I'ma take the road less traveled. While
everyone born in December is gonna be focusing, like Chumps, I'm gonna
unfocus it up and be a trailblazer. What is this, the 13th paragraph?
Yeah it is. What else is going on. Gonna snap my eyeglasses into
twine in protest. I don't know. Somethin' about Trump the II
corresponding with WikiLeaks. Not a fan. That's my official
Crap and crap. I usually have a nice dinner planned for
when entry is over. Now all I got is a bagel. Maybe make a bagel
sandwich, best case scenario. What else is going on. 14th paragraph.
That's great. Trying to think of Back Up Meals. I want to order some
MREs from the internet. Ready Made Meals for Army Participants. I
like the idea of it. You got your protein, your side, a desert. All
in one tight little package. Even just get a TV dinner, something about it
appeals to me. Great, just great. I have Lean Pocket. I got
Breakfast Sandwich. I have 5 or 6 chicken nuggets. Doin' a full
inventory. Bagel. Sliced Turkey AND Salami. Hmm.
I've given me a lot to think about.
Anyway. I'll make the best of my limited options, I can
assure you of that. You know, like in life? Except for
the making the best part. My point is I have limited options in life.
That settles that! Crap and crap. I may even eat mid-entry.
Can't rule anything out at this point. What if I made two bagels.
That's rick-diculous. Get out of here with that bullshit. What if I made
one and a half bagels. Now you're talkin'. Anyway, what the
what. Hey, what's up. Had 1/4th of a black and white cookie just
now. Future-- bagel sandwich, I'm predicting. The point is great,
what paragraph is it. 15th. That means 16 is next! Which means
5 more most likely.
How about that crap. I don't know. Live Podcast
on Friday. That's a thing that'll provide me with the structure I so
desperately crave. For a few hours, at least. That sort of crap and
whatnot. It's hard to write paragraphs without something else to do.
This'll be the last one. Great. Another day in the books. I
did stuff and it was great. I'll see ya later.
Saturday, November 11, 2017
A Regular Title
Alright! Let's see if I can do an entry. Got a few hours this late
afternoon with nothing else to do. So, sure, why not. Read my fair
share of Dickens today. Dunno if it was a problem with the printing, or he
made the mistake originally, but there's a sentence that doesn't end with a
period (or anything else). Point is Book is ruined. Period!
Crap and crap. Up to 35 dollars in poker. As of now.
Actually, at roughly 25 dollars. As of yesterday. Dunno why
that information is pertinent. Anyway, jeez. This entry may
still Not Exist. Not 100% pot committed to it yet. No testosterone.
No guitar fixed. No nothin'.
Whatta jip. Here I am, experiencing life and living for
weeks like a chump, and the stuff that I planned isn't even happening!
Anyway, what else is crap. The point is Roy Moore, in his mid 30's, was
good friends with teenage girls. That settles that. And here we
were, imagining the worst. Apparently Putin told Trump he didn't
meddle with the election. That settles that. It was kind of weird
how he made an exaggerated wink at Trump while he said it. What else.
Black Electrical Tape I put over my phone's camera fell off, had to replace it.
I don't want anyone to see me masturbating. It's not like I'm Louie CK or
Third paragraph. I have a recurring dream where my
nails are healthier and more robust than they are in real life. I bite my
nails, so they're in bad shape. In my dreams, though, they're thriving and
full of life. Gotta dream about something. And it's a good
dream because these nails are ripe for biting. Anyway, what
the what. Can't wait to get my whammy bar. I'm gonna be playing ~#
tablatures all over the place. Are there any animals that have shown they
can do music. Makes sense if there's a chimpanzee or something, you put
him in front of a piano, he could figure it out. I'm not saying every
chimpanzee, but it wouldn't be crazy to think one or two could do it.
The point is a thousand monkeys at typewriters for all of
time can never write Smells Like Teen Spirit. Because type writers
don't make music. I guess they could figure out the chords. Hmm,
I've given me a lot to think about. Hell, if it's for all of time,
they could even figure out tablature. The point is Lets Ally with
Chimpanzees vs. Artificial Intelligence. I'm full of great ideas.
A lot of people didn't like the 2001 Planet Of The Apes, but it did give us the
phrase Aperaham Lincoln. So it's not all bad. Crap and
crap. Maybe that was released in 2000. Pretty sure it's one
Fifth paragraph. What if Artificial Intelligence is so
smart it can figure out how to communicate with animals. Then it's fuckin'
AI teaming up with animals against us! Gotta be worried about
something. I don't know. I wonder if, when AI declares war on
humans, if there's gonna be any turncoats. Like that guy in The Matrix who
likes steak, but without the matrix. Just some guy whose into robots and
wants to help out, with no immediate gratification for his actions.
Anyway, what the what. Show in 6 and a half weeks. Gotta practice.
Should try to make it better than the first show. Better singin', better
song selection, no muckin' up on guitar. Better small talk between songs.
You know, say words, instead of just UHH or UMM.
People wanna hear words, that's what they're here for. Gotta get to at
least ten paragraphs. That goes without saying. Except I said it.
Unnecessarily, apparently. Gonna take a break from entry. Worked
yesterday. Alright, I'm back. Was gone all of 20,30 minutes.
That's how that goes. Real good replenish my life force time.
That sort of crap. The point is Great. Gotta write some great
paragraphs. I gotta be proud of something. Might as well be Internet
Comedy. What the what. Just opened a bottle of soda for my Mom.
She couldn't do it. Dad couldn't do it. Hey, got something to be
proud about! Integrity!
Integrity sounds great. I hope to have some one
day. Seventh paragraph and whatnot. I find it odd that I like movies
about football but not really football. I also find it odd I like Batman
movies, but in real life, probably wouldn't like Batman. Seems like kind
of a dick. The point is Movies Make Everything Better. What else is
going on. I also like movies about Baseketball, but haven't seen one game
in real life. I don't know. Sorry. Let's figure out a way to
make the rest of the entry good. Maybe this is one of those entries that
we're all happier with it ending sooner. On account of quality. Poor
quality. No good for nothin'.
Anyway, jeez. Eighth paragraph. There's a
character in Bleak House that's a grown man who acts like a child. That's
his thing. And people tolerate it because he's congenial. So the
point is New Role Model. That sort of crap. When
Cheerleaders do a really good dance, do they throw a touchdown to celebrate?
Whatta mix-em-up! I don't believe it. Crap and crap. On the
one hand, playing football is terrible for your health. On the other hand,
I like watching people hurt each other. Real conundrum there.
Especially if you've been playing football. One would imagine everything
you could possibly conceive of manifests itself as a conundrum. Conundrums
I guess? What else. Ninth paragraph. Gonna
get Veal Parmesan for dinner. Easy way out. Sounds good to
me. Accidentally made a call in Poker when I didn't mean to. Whatta
Brain damage. What were we talking about. Oh, right.
Conundrums. Crap and crap. One day I hope to become a Hot Shot
Rookie Quarterback. Might be too old at this point. Whatta jip.
I spent my entire 20's, almost a full decade, not being a hot shot rookie
quarterback. I don't believe it. I'd settle for being a hot shot
veteran wide receiver. I'm not all that particular as long as I'm a hot
Anyway, jeez. Tenth paragraph. Gettin into a
little bit of a groove. Groovy. 2 Academic Discussions on
Monday. Can't wait. I'ma be like, Lemme raise my hand I got stuff
to say. Cool. I don't know. Probably the last paragraph.
I got that going for me and whatnot. Damn, even in that scenario, I still
gotta say more stuff! Might as well aim for 15 if we're being ridiculous.
Hell, make it 20! 40! Think I'll stick at 15. That
settles that and whatnot. Hot Shot Paragraph Writer. Except not
at this moment. We all got moments when we're not our best selves.
Probably. Anyway, crap and crap. Maybe I'll get Buffalo Wings.
That settles that! Five paragraphs to go.
Good chance there will be a break at some point. Crap and crap.
Maybe even Now. Cool! Crap and crap. Maybe get Chicken
Parmesan. Sounds like a compromise. I'm the great compromiser!
About time it's being recognized. Maybe get Veal Parmesan. That's
not a great compromise. I'm the great stubborner! About time
I was considered great. Playin' above my means in poker.
Gotta mix life up sometimes. By playing above your means. If you
know a better way to mix life up, I'd like to hear it.
Probably. 12th paragraph. What else. I
don't know. I have too much money on poker. Better lose some.
By becoming the Bettor. With worse hands. While watching BET.
Anyway, what the what. There's a Women-Centric offshoot of BET, and
sometimes they have movies that men are permitted to watch, and their commercial
breaks are insane. I'm talking, 16 or 20 commercials each break, and
that's not an exaggeration. Gotta think of some joke for that.
Gotta be proper and stuff, too. Hmm. I guess they're... market for
black women... joke... humor... mixemup? Well, that settles that.
13th paragraph. I like the new Eminem song. Is it
the funnest song? No. But it has an important message. Beyonce
can walk on water, but she's still not perfect. And it's implied that
message applies to Eminem, too. The more I think about it, the more and
more I realize Kingpin is the perfect movie. And I think about it a
lot. Anyway. I also think about playing whiffleball in gym in
high school a lot. Just picture myself there, lacing a line drive over the
3rd baseman. Gotta think about something! Otherwise your mind
would break. Won money in poker. Whatta jip. I wanted
to lose all my money in a blaze of glory!
14th paragraph. Maybe put off eating for a few hours.
Like last night. That paid off big time then. Anyway. Somehow
got to the 14th paragraph. Guess I'll go for the standard 20 at this
point. I had a dream with my brother in it, and I had to break the news to
him my friends don't really like you, and he took it into consideration
and changed his behavior. Which is weird in a lot of respects. One--
don't have friends. Two-- if I did, why wouldn't they like him?
Three-- he had a change of heart immediately. Oh well, dream 'em if you
I don't know. Dreams, am I right? Whatever.
My brother might represent me in the dream. On account of him being
a lot like me in real life. The point is Great. The friends I don't
have don't respect me as much as I thought they might. Time to have an
immediate change of heart! Crap and crap. 15th paragraph.
Time to have an immediate second half of paragraph. I don't know. It
wasn't just disrespect. It was more actively disliking. The point is
c'mon bro, get on board with my friends. You've already had a change
of heart, and that's a big step forward. Crap and crap. When you
really think about it, the movie Draft Day had pretty much nothing happen in it.
Here's the entire plot of the movie draft day-- We're gonna trade our
draft pick to someone else. The End.
16th paragraph. Maybe have a bit of Spaghett when it
gets here, put rest in fridge. I also got a piece of Tiramisu.
Because I don't care about making healthy choices these days. Anyway, what
the what. I'll be on testosterone soon, that'll magically change my
metabolism. That's my mindset. Hey, I don't believe it.
This entry is actually going Good Enough. Amazing. I wish Al
Pacino was my coach. Just in life, and stuff. That sort of crap.
I remember the last time I played football, I think the summer between Freshman
and Sophomore year of college, I made like four touchdown catches in a row.
The point is I can be surprisingly adequate and sports under optimal conditions.
I remember in summer camp, as an elementary schooler (not a real summer camp,
just a 9 am-1 pm piece of crap at a public school), we would play regular dodge
ball, where it's two teams, and we would also play a dodge ball where it's a
free for all. Free For All Dodge ball is the way to go, if you're gonna
play dodge ball. That's my take on things. This paragraph is too
I just had to talk about dodge ball, didn't I.
17th paragraph. I can't believe it. I'm feeling some, dare I say
it... integrity? On account of my surprising adequacy? I
can't get enough of this stuff! Anyway. I have the song title
Integrity Blues in my head, but I can't find it on iTunes. It might
have been something I made up a few months ago and then forgot I made it up.
Anyway, what the what. I wonder if that's what drives Louie CK.
Hmm, I don't have integrity because I'm a monster... better write some comedy
that people like to try to make up for it. My guess? Possibly!
Anyway, 17th paragraph. Just hit a wall. Just saying 17th
paragraph demoralized me immediately.
18th paragraph. Alright back in action.
Hmm. What else. I've been writing a lot of entries this semester.
Good for me. Anyway, what the what. May aim for 25 paragraphs,
that's how I feel right now at this very moment in time that's also right now.
Anyway, with that kind of crap, I'll make 25 paragraphs in no time!
I want it to take some time. That's where the fun comes from.
What else. SNL in five hours. I can't wait to find out what this
host is all about. Probably do some comedy throughout the show, that would
be my hypothesis. People apparently angry at Larry David for his riff on
the Holocaust. I think we're reaching a breaking point in criticizing
people for making light of the Holocaust. Because over the next decade or
two, the people who actually survived the Holocaust are gonna die off. So
people would be criticizing it more in theory than because they actually
The point is Open Season For Holocaust Jokes!
Wait, no. That's no good. Anyway, what the what. One
thing I thought of that's in my top 20 things I've ever thought of was The
Diarrhea Anne Frank. I'm proud of weird things. Simple enough
that others must have thought of it before me. Oh well, live and learn.
I must have said it here before, too, because my diary is like diarrhea, too.
The word Sheet was, after all, inspired by the word Shit.
And diarrhea is crazy shit, those of us who have experienced know.
Also, importantly, the content is, colloquially, excrement. The point is
just hit a wall typing that bit. Am I past the wall yet?
Almost... almost... nope, further back...
What paragraph is this. 20th. Cool! What
else is going on. I don't know. I'm 3 dollars away from having a 40
dollar bankroll. That's some crazy shit right there. Cray Cray
Shizznit. I used to have a few fake Tenacious D Songs on my mp3 player the
first year of high school. One was a comedy band doing a parody of
Margaritaville called Marijuanaville, inappropriately attributed to
Tenacious D in the artist title. Another one that I don't remember what it
was, was called My Biznitch Is The Shiznit. The point is How Dare
The Internet sully Tenacious D's good name with that nonsense.
21st paragraph! Alright! I always associated the
song title Tribute with the word tributary. Like, this song
deposits into the river of quality music. Because I think weird things
sometimes every now and then. I had the version, on my mp3 player, from
the Tenacious D show, rather than the album version. Which is better.
Cause it musically references Stairway To Heaven. Which they had to drop
for the album because of copywriting and stuff. Point is A+ Super Fan.
D+, at least. It's The D, Plus Me! I don't believe it.
What else is going on. Those were my three first favorite bands that came
about that year. Tenacious D, AC/DC, and Led Zeppelin. Strong Rock
background to have, I feel. That'll lead you towards the river or lake of
quality music. And all of them weren't organized into albums. Just
listened to them song-by-song.
Cool! 22nd paragraph. Anyway, 22nd paragraph.
I just said that. Oh well, live and learn. I don't know. I
also had 3 Bright Eyes Songs and 4 Sublime Songs. So that led to music too
one would assume. And judging by my future taste in music, probably
more a result of Sublime and Bright Eyes than the other three. The
point is we're getting all of it right out into the open right now. Sweet!
What else is crap. I'm looking forward to Tenacious D releasing a book at
some point. Like a memoir, be if factual, or silly and fictional, or
whatever. Seems like a logical and awesome step for them to take.
You heard it here first! ------Diarrhea Anne Frank!
I don't know. Still typing bullshit here for some
reason. Makes me happy. When first starting to think about doing my
own music, I never really thought explicitly about making it funny, but I think
it having it be funny, or at the least irreverent, bled into it a little bit.
Just hit a wall. Will use bathroom to see if that helps me with this wall
situation. Hey, Any Given Sunday is still on! I don't believe
it. Wall, what wall. 23rd paragraph. Maybe go for the
30, I don't know, that might be wishful thinking. Crap and crap. I
wanna see something new from Tom Green.
Not sure where that came from. Canada, probably.
What else is going on. I could be over 40 dollars after this entry.
I could be at 5 dollars. Gotta play to win. Anyway, crap and crap,
that's how I feel. I may have between 5 and 40 dollars. I may have
less than 5 dollars. I may have more than 40 dollars. These are
all the possibilities. Glad I covered that. Anyway, jeez.
What else. No movie in AAL class this week! An Academic Discussion
is all but guaranteed. I don't know. Also, good Entry Writing Time
between classes. A little bit of a break from the regular week entries.
In a different place, have a little bit of Life Experience under my belt to
inspire me. The point is this paragraph is over.
What are we at now. 25th. I don't believe it!
I don't know. Gotta get back into some comedy instead of music
autobiographies. What else is going on. Any Given Sunday is
ending. Whatta jip. Whatta turn my TV to now. I'll check
The Guide. BRB. In my old room, which I inhabited during the olden
days I was just talking about, the TV and Computer Monitor were in the same
direction. I can't even fathom the implications of that! Hmm, an
hour left in Castaway. Still early enough into it that He's Still A
Castaway! I can dig that crap. I don't know. What else is
going on. I'm pretty sure Castaway is a reference for when the
screenwriter made a deal with an executive producer to start the pre-production
on the film. I know how films work, c'mon.
Also, just mad the connection with Donna Brazile's book
called Hacks. Cause it's also about "A writer or journalist
producing dull, unoriginal work." According to internet.
Didn't realize it was specific to journalists or writers. What else is
going on. I heard 30,000 volleyballs auditioned for the role of Wilson.
I also heard jeez. Crap and crap. 26th paragraph. Four
and a half to go! Sounds perfect. I don't know. Today be
11/11. That's a lot of... 11's. Two! I can count and
everything. At least up to 2. After four, it gets a little hazy.
I believe Wilson was based on Tim Allen's neighbor in Home Improvement.
Because they have the same name. That's what basing something on means.
Ho Ho Ho. Crap and carp. Castaway is bumming
me out. I think hearing Tom Hanks talk to an imaginary and unreceptive
audience is making me feel bad about this entry. Oh well, gotta feel bad
about something. 27th paragraph. Cool beans. Also, Castaway is
escaping his deserted island. While I'm still here. I don't believe
it. What else. I just turned off the TV entirely. And by that
I mean Muted it. I can't turn it off completely, then I'll just have to
turn it back on eventually. I'm pretty good at cutting corners.
Gonna pour myself more beverage in a minute. Soon as the Big Blind comes
back around to me. Which is... Now. What else. ...You
know, cause I'm really into Ska and Reggae now? I had seven or eight
Bob Marley songs on the mp3 player in high school. That's more reggae than
most kids in my high school listened to.
And now I like Reel Big Fish under optimal conditions.
What else is going on, 28th paragraph. I don't know. Crap and crap.
Anyway. Whattado when Entry is Over. Got a few hours before Mom/Son
Binding Time watching SNL. Eat dinner at some point one would imagine.
I don't know. Listen to Sublime's "cover" of No Woman No Cry.
It has different lyrics and I suspect it may have different music.
Never thought I'd be able to call a song a, 'cover,' in quotation marks.
Well, the recordings I have of myself covering music, quotation marks apply to
that. But that's due to poor quality rather than it being a completely
29th paragraph! This may go on forever. One can
dream, right? I hope so. Otherwise, what have I been doin' all
this sleeping for? Anyway. Hit a wall just now. And
only two paragraphs to go until I'll force myself to stop! Whatta jip.
Crap and crap. Whatta semester this has been. It's led to weekly
entries with two titles. Couldn't have asked for more, is my take away.
At around 32 dollars at this very moment. That's a lot of dollars, I got
no qualms with 32 dollars. The point is what else is crap. Gonna
take a bathroom break soon. All is right in the world. Alright, what
else. Time to wrap it up and retreat to my nothing life. AA STARTING HAND
BRB. WON A FEW DOLLARS BACK. That settles that.
30! Wow. The point is Sure Life Is Great.
What else. 34 dollars as of now. If that ain't great I don't know
what is. 35 dollars. Now we're talkin'! Anyway, jeez.
Hey, gotta show in six and a half weeks! Startin' to get pmped about it.
Just now, based on that sentence. First real gettin pumped about it
since I booked it. Gotta get pumped about something. Have we
learned nothing from Big Poppa Pump? Wayne's World is on in 10
minutes. Now we're talking Great Saturday. I'm not gonna
watch that. I might. I hope not. You got a better
idea? One will present itself. How can you be so sure?
Just a hypothesis. Ok. Write another paragraph.
Can't argue with that. Hey, The Lego Batman Movie
is on at 8. That's something I can actually watch. I don't
believe it! What else is crap. Almost done. 31 paragraphs.
Used to go to PS 31 for Elementary School. So it makes sense I guess.
Anyway. That was back when I went to PS 213 for summer camp. Jeez.
Crap and crap. You mean I gotta listen to Will Arnett for two hours?!
Yep, that's what it means. Oh okay alright then. Anyway.
At 35 dollars now. And we're almost done here! I don't believe it.
Maybe The LEGO Batman Movie will teach me important life lessons. I don't
know as of this point. I guess that's it. I'll see ya later.
Friday, November 10, 2017
Entry Attempt #484
Roughly. Let's see if I can do it. Wrote that on Thursday.
Wasn't able to do it. But now it's Friday. If there's
anything I know about Friday, it's a day you can potentially do stuff on.
What's going on and crap. Gonna read AAL Book today. Dickens
tomorrow probably. Louie CK is a terrible person it turns out. My
first instinct was to tweet or post on Facebook, Now seems like a good time
to point out that Louie CK is overrated. But then I read references to
some of his bits in news about him and was like, actually he's pretty good.
Still a terrible person, though! I have no difficulty reconciling these
two things. He's solidly in the Terrible Person category.
Until his statement today. Sad to say, I kinda
bought it. Part of it is I wanna be on the Winning Team. And I've
deduced, taking everything into consideration, he's gonna be back in good graces
within a few years. Whatta jip. Anyway. I've never
taken my dick out unless I had a damn good reason to. That's how I feel.
I also thought of, "Louie C Kock." Not sure why, but I did.
Anyway. First person I particularly admired that I could think of to be
outed as a sexual bad guy. Oh well, live and learn. I get a lot of
kicks intellectually, but I don't get jerking off in front of people who don't
wanna see it. I guess I'll live and learn at some point.
Anyway, jeez. I mean, I jerk off in front of porn.
They don't want to see it. But they can't see it. And that doesn't
add to the excitement or anything. I'm not looking at a JPEG fantasizing
the JPEG is looking back at me disapprovingly. What else is going on.
I don't like the 'Whisper Network' that women have in lines of business to alert
each other of sexual bad guys. No fair, keepin' secrets. I like
whispering too! Anyway, jeez. Crap and crap. Third
paragraph-- seems like this entry will indeed be made. Just lost 3
dollars. I blame this entry. Still got cash. What else is
3 paragraphs vs 3 dollars. I'll take the paragraphs.
But the paragraphs weren't that great. Hmm. I'll take the
dollars. Damn, can't go back! QQ IN BB BRB. WON A LITTLE
BIT BACK. That'll learn 'em. Gonna sit at a 1.5 dollar sit 'n go.
That'll get the juices flowing. Anyway, what the what. Entryin' it
up. With nothin' to say. That's a winning combination. Roy
Moore raped a 14 year old girl, but it's okay. Good to know.
Doubled up in first hand of 6 person sit 'n go. Good to know.
What else. Gotta get to some goofballs eventually. Law of
probability. Probability it a law, right?
Anyway. Won the Sit 'n Go. Now we're
talking Great Entry. Jeez. What a crappy entry. Fifth
paragraph. We can do, as a society, without any more Louie CK and his
comedy. That being said, fuck this guy. That settles that.
Anyway, crap and crap. I don't know. Ima take a break to read AAL
Poetry Book. Continue this entry later today. Alright, read
that poetry book. Went pretty quickly. On account of there being
less words per page. That sort of crap. Considered scrapping this
entry altogether, but there is still hope for it yet. Anyway, still the
Not anymore! Cool. The point is Three Academic
Discussions in the next 5 days. I can't wait! Also, really should
see an Advisor Wednesday After Class. Put it off for too long! Time
to see what's what. Anyway, jeez. Louie CK is a terrible person.
I'm back in that mindset 100%. Who cares if he's sorry. He still did
what he did when he diddled his did in front of observerdids. Sorry.
I don't know. Hmm... Is this website the equivalent of jerking off in
front of people who didn't ask for it? Metaphorically, sure.
But it's not literal, so it's not sex. And you're here for some reason,
most likely on your own accord. So the point is I'm Not A Bad Sex Guy.
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! What else.
Seventh paragraph. I don't know. Trying to think of what to do after
I graduate. I could write a book! Sounds easy to me.
Just write a bunch of paragraphs, bam, you've got a book. It would be
silly and irreverent and everything. Characters? You Bet I'll
have some characters. Loose plot to facilitate stupidness? You
Bet! Playing poker while I write it? Bet, Check,
CALLING. The point is I'll Never Be Able To Actually Do That.
Whew, that's a relief. I was on the verge of actually putting effort into
Anyway, what else. Eighth paragraph. That how
that go. Could write a book of poetry. Hey Whassup it's a poem
ya'll like it so far? That's the prologue. One poem down, 39
to go! Everyone knows you need 40 books for a book of poetry.
That's just common sense. What else is going on. Apparently the
poem ends with 'you like it so far?' It's poetic, because there's no
more, even though it says 'so far.' Really makes ya think.
Hmm. What else. Eminem's new song "Dropped" today. It
was alright. I prefer the silly and irreverent Eminem, though, if I had to
choose. And it didn't even end with Ya'll like my album so far?
What else is going on.
Ninth paragraph. it did end with Hey I wrote that
song Stan, remember that? Not 100% sure why that's important. I
guess the rest of the album will give us context. Anyway. Eminem is
still pretty young, all things considered. Even if you consider 2/3rds of
things, or even half. I don't know. Wonder if there was any
legal battles with his bastardization of the candy M 'n Ms. One would
imagine it was an issue at some point. Maybe the candy was on board with
it from the start. Good product placement and whatnot. But they had
no idea he would be popular right at the beginning.
Anyway, I don't know. M 'n M's don't endorse
Eminem's ... I forgot what I was talking about. It's the tenth
paragraph! What else is going on. Whatta do with this weekend.
I've ruled out going to the open mic. I've ruled out doing something
productive with my life. I have it narrowed down to Nothing or
Barely More Than Nothing. Can't wait to find out! Just ordered
dinner through my father as a proxy. It'll be here in rouhgly 40 minutes.
Then it's time for a second break from writing entry. Cool! I like
how the last six paragraphs were no better than the first four, but because
there's more of it, I'm more proud of it. Quantity! That's step one
for preparing to write a whole book. Get used to writing quantity, even if
its crap. Probably. No one ever gave me steps for writing books.
Anyway, 11th paragraph! The truth is, Louie CK was a
sexual predator, but his persona as a comedian corrupts this factual image of
him for me, and I just imagine him being a goofus and taking his penis out and
being like why am I doing this, I'ma riff on this uncomfortability and it'll
be fun, whereas in actuality, he was being a full fledged monster.
Whew, figured that out. I'm A+ Number 1 guy. What else is going
on. But there's still that small part of me, how's he gonna do a
routine on this crap when he comes back. Anyway, what else is going
on. By the way, I've got over 20 dollars in poker! Been there since
yesterday. You had no way of knowing. Unless you're hacking my
computer and monitoring my every Digital Move. If so, got any tips for
Solitaire? Not winning as much as I should be.
You've been studying my game, now it's your turn to give
me some tips. 12th paragraph. I feel like Jesus did a lot greater
stuff than walk on water. He walks on water, cool, that's a nice party
trick. Never really put it to any practical use, as far as I know.
He never was separated from a leper by a lake, and was like, JESUS POWER
ACTIVATE! and crossed the lake to cure him. He did stuff that helped
people in a tangible way, though. So that's my take on things.
Anyway. Gettin' a Bacon Burger Deluxe. Sounds good to me.
That's why I ordered it. Jeez. Republicans in Alabama.
On the one hand, he did rape a 14 year old. But on the other
hand... it turns out I have no morals. Quite a conundrum.
13th paragraph. Lookin' forward to eating. It's
like life, except you get to stuff your fat face with stuff. I'm on board
with that. Apparently Trump gained 100 pounds since his election.
That's a good sign of a responsible, measured person. A guy eating enough
to gain 100 pounds in a year. Being president is hard, ya eat when
you're stressed. Maybe he should quit then. My take. Let
him eat Trump Steaks every day. ...I kind of want to see what a Trump
Steak tastes like. I'm not 800 calories! When you eat me, you
actually lose weight! More jokes on that riff. I'm too hungry to
Not that hungry, but am relatively weak from
hunger. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, I ate a muffin for
breakfast/lunch. But that's how the cookie crumbles I guess. Maybe
I'm just weak in general and I'm attributing it to hunger. Sounds like a
reasonable conclusion to make. Apparnetly that was Beyonce on Eminem's
song. I'm not 100% sure why but I can't name 1 Beyonce song I particularly
like. Or would recognize. Guess it's just not my cup of tea.
Sorry. I will step down as Crazysheet in advance due to all the
backlash that admission will bring. Wait, no I won't. I got
paragraphs to write! It would be irresponsible to stop now.
15th paragraph. I don't believe it! I like Bacon
Burgers. It's like Hamburgers, but I'm rebelling against my Jewish
Heritage! I think my Dad told me that his grandmother or something
wouldn't eat hamburgers because it says 'ham' in them. Damn, private
information. Now you know my Dad's secrets. What else is going
on. There's a good chance when Food Comes I'll put it in Oven for 20 or 30
minutes. My Dad's Grandmother wouldn't use Ovens, out of Solidarity
with Holocaust Victims. More Private Information! Oh no!
Crap and crap. Jesus, I just had some realization, There were
thousands and thousands and maybe millions of Germans who were on board with
putting millions of people into ovens. Not on board with the
Holocaust. Makin' my position known here and now!
What else. Putting Food in Oven not only makes it
hotter/the fries crispier, but it lets me eat 20 or 30 minutes later.
Sounds good to me. 16th paragraph. So, poing of this entry-- 1)Louie
CK is a monster, 2)Holocaust was bad. 3)I need to research Beyonce Songs
to find some I like. Anyway, jeez. Beyonce is related to Harry
Knowles, right? And Harry Knowles is a reference people would recognize,
right? Right? Anyway, jeez. 25 paragraphs seems within
reach. On account of previous break and future break. Gotta come
up with a better idea than I'm Gonna Write The Mediocre American Novel!
for when I graduate. I've given me a lot to think about.
Everyone's always trying to write the great American novel.
No one thinks to write the mediocre one. It's an untapped market.
Except not market. Idea. Something like that. Anyway.
Bill Maher tonight. Some real Mother/Son/Possibly Father binding time.
Bonding time. I said Binding time! Whatta unintended
goof. Freudian slip, maybe? I want to get binded to my
Mother. Ohhh boy. Dickens Tomorrow. 2 non-Dickens articles I
gotta read either tomorrow or Sunday. I'm leaning towards Sunday.
Balences things out more appropriately. See, Dickens never tried to
write The Great American Novel, and he turned out okay. Whatta
Food came, put it in the fridge. Too early for
me to eat. Not that hungry. Kind of weak from hunger, but that's not
hunger. That's weakness. And my Dojo doesn't tolerate weakness.
Our teacher is one of the bad teachers from Karate Kid. Oh well, pot
committed to his teachings at this point. Good to have something to
look forward to. What paragraph is this. 18th I think. Cool.
Right now it's 5:50. Probably put food in oven between 7 and 8.
Leave it there for 30,40 minutes. I'm good at math. Because I
can correctly use and identify numbers. Gotta start with the basics.
19th paragraph. Won a couple of dollars in poker
with QQ vs 88 preflop. Knockin some crap out of the park. Hey Ima
do a sit 'n go in addition right now. Sounds like fun.
Apparently Bleak House has a surprise ending or something. Maybe not
surprise, but some sort of crazy shit. Can't wait to find out.
Except I can wait. And will. So, I got that going for me. Not
eating now stretches out the Joy that is Part Of Today. Plus, I even did
homework! Whatta Day, is the point. C- Entry. Won money on
poker. Did homework. Have Eaten and Will Have Eaten More.
Potential Binding Time with Mother and/or Father. Wow. I don't
believe it. Heard Beyonce in a song. I didn't know it was her
29th paragraph. Err, scratch that. 20th
paragraph. I don't have time to edit! What else is going on.
I ain't that hungry. That'll show me! The main thing I know
about Beyonce is that her and Jay-Z are the better version of Kanye and Kim.
Is that racist. I feel like it's a solid 40,45% racist.
Especially now that I qualified it with that. I also know I had a gay
roommate for a few months who literally listened to All The Single Ladies all
day every day. Except when he interrupted it by watching Beyonce on Ellen
and/or Oprah. Don't remember which one. So yeah, I'd say I'm
an expert on pop music. No one's gonna hold me to it, might as
well say it.
30t... wait, no. 21st paragraph. SNL is
tomorrow. The host is A Lady I Don't Know and the musical guest is a Pop
Music Lady I'm Aware Of. That's my hot take on things and whatnot.
Crap and crap. 21st paragraph, huh? I can dig it. Just got
lucky in the Sit 'n Go. That settles that. I been drinking
today. I feel like we've progressed enough to a point in our
website/viewer relationship that I can be honest with you. Anyway.
Won a couple more dollars in poker. Knockin' life out of the park.
Crapdom, I don't know. At least 25 paragraphs here. Maybe even shoot
for 30. Hah, a guy at my poker table's username is SalmonFlushdie.
I"m on board with that.
22nd paragraph. Came in 2nd at the sit 'n go.
That's cashing! I don't believe it. I have over 26 dollars.
That's insane. That's, jeez, I don't even know. Words escape me.
Except the opposite. Words are escaping you, they're leaving your mouth,
you're saying words. Words can't escape you, that's what that
phrase means. Clunker. Anyway, what the what. So far
I've been good about not moving up in stakes with this increased bankroll.
The real test'll be when I start losing. That's when I move up in stakes,
in the past. To try to make up for all that I lost. Point is What
Else And Crap. Gonna play another sit 'n go. That's sort of
moving up in stakes. Risking over a dollar and a half on that nonsense.
Anyway, 23rd paragraph. At some point, this entry will
end. And Regular Life will resume. Whatta jip, am I right?
Anyway. What kinda Life could I figure out to be good enough after this
entry and not counting dinner and potential binding time. Hmm.
That's a tough one. One idea, not committed to it, probably won't happen--
read me some Dickens. Something to consider. It would be a
real Adult Move, I feel. Anyway, jeez. Gonna pour myself more Drink
w/ Alcohol when the sit 'n go is over. Good to have stuff to look forward
to. Also got Matzoh Ball Soup for dinner. Was supposed to get it
with a dinner afew nights ago and they didn't send it. So now they did.
To make up for it. I can't have Soup w/ bacon burger, though. That
would be insane.
24th paragraph. Jeez. Lost the sit 'n go.
Time for Beverage Break. Aand I'm back. Can alcohol satisfy
your hunger. It's got calories. Calories is food. I think it's
supposed to make you more dehydrated, though. I don't have all the
details. I'm not a fan of the new Coke Zero that's been made to taste like
regular Coca Cola. I don't like that taste. Change it back!
Based on me. That sort of crap. Registering in another sit 'n go.
I'm out of control! Point is What Else Is Going On. 6:36 right now.
Not sure when I'm gonna eat dinner. I'm gonna eat the Great American
Because of things and crap. I don't now. 25th
paragraph. Guess 30 is a good target. Just like when I consider my
Life Expectancy. Over a year more? I'm On Board With That!
What else is great. I got a year until I'm 30. That's another good
measure of Gotta Do Something to go along with graduating college.
Hmm. I've given myself a lot to think about. What else.
Crap and crap. Gotta write some more for some reason. Who knows for
sure. I guess I can stop after this paragraph. That sounds about
right. Over 24 dollars still on poker. I can dig it. I'll see
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
Time To Make The Entries!
Entry. I don't know, jeez. Wednesday After School. Talked to
teacher after class. Hey, did Dickens write this crap as it went, or
did he have it written out before hand. Turns out He wrote it as he
went, but had drafts written before hand. Now I know things. And
my teacher knows things! That I'm a great student, thirsty for knowledge,
that only she could impart on me. Great stuff. Anyway, huh?!
Week. Over. I guess. Feels kind of weird wishing people a
happy weekend on Wednesday Afternoon. I've got no other alternative,
though. So I got that going for me. Democrats won a bunch yesterday!
My take away from this, I think the one thing we can deduce from this is
Now Virginia And New Jersey Have Democrat Governors. That's my hot
Cool beans. What else is going on. Second entry
and whatnot. I like how it's a big deal with Russia influencing our
election, but when people who give robocalls to Democrats telling them their
polling place has changed, or targeting them on social media saying they could
vote from home by texting a number, that's okay, and no one is going to jail for
that. #USA! We like our election cons and interference home
grown. Just like our terrorists! Anyway, jeez. Gotta get
less political. I guess. Still have my show scheduled for December
28th. They haven't cancelled it or anything! Music has been great
this year. Made half a dozen people pay me some respect. I'm on
board with being respected. It's new to me, that's for sure, and it's
Third paragraph. Roy Halladay died. Let's pray
that Heaven is a never-ending Halladay. Gotta pray for something.
Not sure what to do for dinner tonight. My options are wide open. Up
two and a half dollars in poker. Knockin' it out of the park. Which
I believe is a kick ball reference. May get a new TV for
Birthday/Chanukah. That's the opposite direction my life should go.
I should be getting a new Wall. Which is on the opposite side of my room.
See what I did there? Cause I don't. Not 100%, at least.
Anyway, what the what. I got a robocall yesterday that I could write an
entry by texting a number. Got jipped out of that. No entry
Fourth paragraph. Whatta clunker. What
else is going on. I hope I never have to learn Freecell. That's my
main goal in life. Not learning solitary card games. Except the one
I already know. Solitaire. I don't know why. Probably because
it's the fourth paragraph. I could get a chicken dinner. I can get a
turkey dinner. I could get some sort of pasta contraction. Many
things to think about. I wonder if there's ever gonna be a moment, where a
bunch of people are watching Fox News about something, and they all collectively
go, "...Wait a minute... You've been insulting our intelligence!"
Figure something'll be the tipping point eventually.
I insult my own intelligence and leave it at that. I
don't need to have self-esteem. I got half a dozen people to worry about
that for me! Anyway, what the what. Trump having people look into
Democrat collusion with Russia even though everyone says there is none.
He's insulting our intelligence!... community. Also, just our regular
intelligence. I don't know, crap and crap, fifth paragraph. This
entry sure is a real D+. I can dig it. Everyone asking, about the
election, what does this mean for 2018, what does it mean for 2020, what does
it mean for... and so on. I can tell you what it means for sure!
It means there are now Democratic Governors in Virginia and New Jersey.
And think about all the implications that has immediately. Because that's
what it is.
Pundit job, please. Sixth paragraph.
Hah. Pun'd it. I've said that before! I'll say it again!
Most likely, at least. I don't know. Whatta do with my weekend.
Got some Bleak House Reading, some AAL Reading. That should take three or
four hours. Coolbeans. That's when you get a cold brew iced coffee.
WOW! Jeez. Pretty much before every class ever, I get there early,
and get paranoid class was cancelled. It happened once so my suspicions
are justified for infinity. Anyway. Tomorrow will be 5 weeks before
I brought in Guitar to get fixed. They said 2-3 weeks. I'm starting
to get angry!!! No I'm not. Pretty mellow about the whole deal.
So I got that going for me.
Seventh paragraph! I don't believe it. Anyway.
My inclination is, in dinner situations such as these, my recent history is,
fuck it, just get veal parmesan. I'll eat some side pasta like a
Chump, I don't care. Whatevers. One negative aspect of asking
teachers stuff after class is, I just wanna ask it, quick answer, then everybody
goes home happy. They start giving an in depth answer, everyone else is
leaving the room, I'm standing there nodding my head off indefinitely. The
lesson is don't pursue knowledge for some reason.
Eighth paragraph! I don't believe it. Sounds
like a repeat of last paragraph. Except different numbers. Cool!
Anyway. It's way too warm in my houseplace that I live in. Opened my
windows and everything, still too warm. Plus, my computer is heating up.
Resting my wrists on the keyboard surface as I type, and my wrists are even
hotter than me! Someone figure out a solution! What else.
Gotta think of some new titles for potential future album, which I can downgrade
to song titles. If they're good enough album titles, they're good enough
song titles. And downgrade song titles to lyrics. If they're good
enough song titles, they're good enough lyrics. I've learnt a lot from
Like, those two things. Jeez. The point is
music is all about titles. It's like life, in that way. I guess.
I had an idea for an album, where I just randomize the titles for the songs.
Each song has an appropriate title, but when releasing the album, just mix-em-up.
It comes from experience of downloading music and the song titles being mixed
up. But this'd be on purpose! I'm a visionary. Music is all
about vision. It's like life, in that way. I see.
Exactly! That's what I'm talkin' about.
10th paragraph. Down to only being up 1 and a half
dollars. I blame making a 50 cent call with the worst hand just now.
That's the logical thing to do. At least, 50 cents of that. Anyway.
Constitutional Convention was voted down. That's good for me. They
could have done that, and changed my Dad's pension. And I need his pension
to live on! I ain't got no job. What else is going on. Back
to being up 2 and a half dollars! I got that going on and crap.
I guess I'm aiming for 20 paragraphs here, seems like it. Anyway.
Paragraphs are good. Most people write three, four paragraphs a week,
tops. I'm doin' 60, 70 a week. That's exponentially more paragraphs!
I wanna start using exponentially whenever I talk
about numbers, as a goof. I know I have in the past, but I wanna do it
every entry. And you can't argue with a feeling. Anyway, 11th
paragraph. That's exponentially more than the last paragraph!
See, that sort of crap. Makes me happy. I don't know.
Exponentially more happy. Don't over do it. Yes, boss!
I'm the boss of me. I'm also the subservient of me. That's logic,
that's all. I got 10 paragraphs to make me happy! What else.
I might need to take into account Time when ordering food. Some places may
not deliver past 8, 9 o' clock. And I'd be happiest ordering around 8, is
how I feel as of now.
The point is Haha Made you read it. Whatta
prankster I am. There was a year or two a while back where I was still
really sick and confused, and I wrote/recorded an album of music a day.
And wrote is an extremely, exponentially strong word. Music is an
extremely strong word. I just played a few discordant chords and some
terrible lyrics, at least to my memory. But maybe that was an important
step on my songwriting journey. The chickens are coming home to roost.
Not 100% what that means, but I'm 60-70% sure I'm using it incorrectly.
What else is going on.
13th paragraph. I don't want this entry to ever end!
Until I do. Then I want it to end. And everyone goes home happy with
a D+ entry in the books. Jeez. Essentially, every day I did the
music equivalent of this. Hard to even fathom the greatness
that was once produced. I mean, when it's Blog, it's got it's charm, it
means nothing, but hey, life means nothing. When it's music, man is
this nothing. That's how my life has gone so far. I gotta
admit, I'm kinda into Bleak House. I still dread having to read it, and
when I'm reading it, I just keep track of how much more I have to read.
But it's not all that bad. Good enough, that's my take.
The point is it turns out Charles Dickens isn't a complete
fraud. Jeez, anyway. Did Charles Dickens write this as he was
going, or have it planned out in advance. I feel like someone told me
recently but I can't remember. Anyway, what the what. I could go the
Pizza + Beef Patty route. Lots of routes I can go. Route 66. I
could get my kicks on that route, is what I've been led to believe.
Anyway. I felt bad about not voting yesterday in the evening before the
results were in. Then my Dad reminded me polls close at 9 PM. And I
was like, C'mon, I don't feel that guilty. But it turns out
we won any important thing I woulda voted. So that's good.
15th paragraph! I don't believe it. Twitter is
now 280 characters. Terrible idea. They'll live to see the chickens
come home to roost, is my guess. I'm not even 100% sure what Roost
means. Point is get off my back about it. Crap and crap!
I don't know. Gonna pour myself some snapple brb. Back'n'stuff.
That's how that goes. Hey, I'm up to the 15th paragraph! I remember
an hour ago when I didn't even have paragraph 1. Maybe I did.
Started around then. Who knows for sure. Gotta start keeping
track of the time for each paragraph. It's important, because time
Jeez, what the what. I'm still waiting for the
Celebration Day when UberEats will deliver McDonalds to me. Only a matter
of time. Anyway, jeez. 16th paragraph. Feels like maybe go
over 20, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Can't cross a
bridge before you get there. Not sure why that's an expression at all.
Got no choice in the matter. Also, if you could burn a bridge... wasn't
that great a bridge in the first place. That's my hot take on things.
I hope Heaven isn't a Never-ending Holiday. I'ma wanna go home
at some point. My hot take. Crap and crap.
Aiming for 25, as of now, makes me happy. I'ma continue
with that mindset potentially. Someone was eating soup next to me in Class
and I was like, you know what? this soup? I'm on board with how
this soup smells. Was waiting for her to apologize to me, sorry
about the soup, because I was ready to say, no apology needed! I'm
diggin' this smell! Never happened. Anyway, 17th paragraph.
Man, Twitter did a complete 280o on is. That's my hot take on
things. Does this mean they will make all previous tweets the same
thing over again? So each tweet would be the same thing twice.
You know, so we don't get confused?
What else. I have a suspicion they did it because they
thought Trump would be like, 280 characters? I'm not qualified to write
four sentences!!! My guess? No. Hot take.
Lost 50 cents in poker. I blame Twitter and/or Trump and/or characters.
Also, the number 280. Which is a real exponential number, if I dare say so
myself. Jeez. Runnin' good ideas into the ground. Like
a Baseball Manager overusing relief pitchers, that's my analogy. Crap and
crap. I wanna grow up to be a Twitter Bot! Sounds great.
Anyway. What paragraph we at. 18. Cool.
19! 7 more seems right to me. And you can't argue
with a feeling. Not successfully, at least. E-mailed AAL professor
about upcoming homework, started it Sorry to disturb you, his response
started with, Michael-- you're not disturbing me. Story of my life!
Now I Know we're best friends. Jeez. It's always been my
dream to not be disturbing people. That's my hot take. Crap and
crap. Gillepsie didn't embrace Trump enough, according to him.
The point is, Trump better invest in a fleet of busses. So he could throw
people under 'em! Hot take. Anyway, jeez. Only one more
Short Cigarette from pack I had to get at gas station. It's all Longer
Cigarettes from here on out! Living the dream and what not.
20th paragraph. Cool. Throwing people under
busses is pretty violent. That's my... take. I don't know. My
Dinner Options are wide open. There's no excuse for choosing a mediocre
option. Now's the time to knock it out of the park. Gonna see a
Politics/Comedy Podcast live next week with Brother. Never listened to it,
but I did some research, and it sounds pretty great. Also, what else is
going on. Absolutely Zero urinating on carpets for the last week or two.
I had some growing up to do, and I did it! Now I'm an Adult. Jeez.
What else. AA IN BB BRB. WON 15C BACK.
21st paragraph! I can't believe it. I'm pretty
easily surprised by what paragraph I'm up to. Hot take. Anyway.
Excited to see who I will be playing shows with during my show. You know,
who goes on before, who goes on after. Potential New Best Friends to be
made, is how I feel. Also, their audience might bleed into mine.
That's how you make best friends, on the real. I don't know. I
wonder if whoever runs the Sidewalk Coffee website notices an extreme uptick in
views of the Calendar HTML whenever I'm listed on it. Because I'm checking
that shit every 2 hours. Love to see my name up on there.
22nd paragraph. Probably. What else.
Two sources, too. Checkin' on my phone, and checkin' on my computer.
Cool beans. Hey, probably four paragraphs to go. Or more.
That's my... take. May pour myself Snapple soon. Gotta stay hydrated.
Gonna do one more round in poker. Next to next time I get the BB, I'ma sit
out, pour myself some snapple. It's good to set short term goals.
Probably. Maybe even do it this BB. Feelin' pretty dehydrated.
What else and crap. I don't know. Make Facebook Event for Music
Show around very beginning of December. Send it over to the Sidewalk
Coffee Facebook Page, so any of those half a dozen people that like me will see
it, and be like, Thursday Night Mike? Gotta catch me some of that.
23rd paragraph. Wow! I like calling
them Sidewalk Coffee instead of Sidewalk Cafe because it decreases the chance
someone will google them and find this page. I don't need this nonsense
corrupting people's respect for me. Or do I. They could
Double Respect me, potentially. I can't even imagine. That would be
Dream Come True territory. Anyway. 60 second break coming up soon.
I can't wait. I'ma re-hydrate and everything. So, to summarize:
two ways my dreams can come true. 1) People respect me for music and
comedy. 2)AAL professor becomes my new best friend. Hot take.
Argue with a feeling. Can't! Anyway, BRB. Starting to
think seriously about pizza + beef patty. BACK.
24th paragraph. I guess. Still up about 2.5
dollars in poker. Got that going for me. Anyway. Wednesday.
Got the weekend off, got the back end of the regular week off. Really
knockin' some life out of the park. Crap and crap. May watch some
Curb tonight with Mom. A+ #1 Son. We watch Comedy together.
What more can a mother ask for from a son? We ain't gonna watch Drama
together, that's for sure. Get that out of your head right now. I
saw Jimmy Fallon's mother died. Whatta jip. If it can happen to
him, it can happen to anybody. Thoughts and prayers. Do I
dare aim for 30 paragraphs?!?!
I'll take it paragraph by paragraph at this point.
My Mom is pretty much 100% as of now. Think she's even off the percocet.
Why she'd stop taking it, I don't know. You give me percocet, I'm goin'
for the opiod addiction, full stop. Already pot committed to the whole
thing after taking it as prescribed for a week. Anyway, crap and crap.
Up 3 dollars now. I don't believe it. I gotta keep writing here,
though. I stop writing here, back to My Life. My Life ain't that
great. In Crazysheet, anything is possible. In Life, nothing is
possible. Whatta jip, is the point. Crap and crap.
Five paragraphs to go! I can do that hardcore and knock it to
the deepest part of parks. I don't know. Gotta stop at some point.
The point is What Else And Crap. I have 14 dollars overall on poker.
Wow. That's how I feel. Can stop this entry at any point.
Maybe if I get enthusiastic about a certain dinner, that'll inspire me to stop
writing and get it. Seems like a likely scenario. Anyway, what else.
As long as I'm writing here, might as well make it readable. That
sounds hard. I should stop soon. Maybe one more paragraph.
Cool! 27 is a number. I got nothin' against
it. 9 x 3, I'm on board with that. 3 to the 3rd. I don't
believe it. Havin' the last of the mini-cigarettes. I got that going
for me. Hmm. Maybe should get Veal Parmesan. I'll take
the easy way out all over the place. What else. Hmm. Have I
fully considered the possibility of Egg. No, I haven't! And, to
be honest, I don't want to. Who needs Egg. I'll see ya later.
Monday, November 6, 2017
No More Titles!, or: Fiction Is Scary!
There's a title. What does it mean. Probably nothing.
Anyway. Monday School Break. Teacher loved my bibliography.
She's on board with a solid 2 out of my 3 potential sources. It's though
to be a dwarf! It's the only disability where people are angry at you for
being sensitive about it and essentially the negative social impacts of it are
your fault. Also, one of my favorite lines I've ever written is about
Shrek-- "It shows it doesn't matter how ugly you are, you can still get
the girl. Unless you're short. Then you're an asshole. And
fuck you." I'm proud of weird things.
Hey, set up my next Music Show! December 28th, a
Thursday at 7:00 PM. I'ma knock some music out of the park.
Typical Napoleon Complex, he wants to be good at things. Cool.
Anyway. Church Shooting. Don't worry, though-- our politicians are
sending their thoughts and prayers. Problem solved. Remember in
World War I and II when we sent our thoughts and prayers to the British and they
defeated the Germans? Problem solved. Probably should have comes
up with a nonviolent parallel. Oh well, live and learn. That's
my version of, "Thoughts and Prayers." Live and learn. And
it's implied there will be no learning. So I got that going for me.
No Academic Discussion tonight. Instead, we're watching
a Horror Movie. Terrifying. Maybe get something to eat in a little
bit. Lost a full pack of cigarettes running to catch the bus today.
Maybe it'll still be on the sidewalk on my way home. It can't hurt to
dream. What else. Starting to mentally put together Final Disability
Paper. Still got no idea about AAL Final Paper. What else.
Still got money on Poker. I'm talkin' Nine Dollars and a quarter roughly.
That's a lotta quarters. Anyway. Hopefully I can get at least 2 or 3
people to show up at Upcoming Show. That'd be swell.
Fourth Paragraph! What's the point. Had an extra
hour to waste this weekend. It's about time! It sure is.
Jeez. Maybe smoke a cigarette after next paragraph. I bought a pack
at the gas station. With credit. From a card! I don't have all
the details how that works. Maybe after this paragraph. I can't
wait! Jeez. Whatta snooze. Gonna cigarette break now.
I'm back. Saw a sign on a Queens College building that said, "Study
Abroad -- Room 203." That doesn't sound abroad. Sounds
pretty close, if you ask me. Also, I need to talk about dwarfism, not
regular short stature. I can use my experience as a jumping off point but
its not the same thing.
Fifth paragraph. Have food at home, not eating right
now. That settles that. If only priests had gattling guns, we
wouldn't be in the trouble we're in today. "Modern air is a little too
clean for optimum health"-- New advisor for the EPA. Really.
Possibly one of the stupidest things I've ver heard. And I've heard
me say stuff! A lot! Anyway, what the what. Still the
fifth paragraph. Looking forward to tonight. Poker, food, beer, and
finishing the entry. Sounds like a blast to me. I think we should
force Ben Carson to become a superhero. Because of something he said 2
years ago. I don't have all the details.
Sixth Paragraph! I don't believe it. I'll be able
to do at least one and possibly two open mics in December in advance of my show.
Unbelievable. Great. Maybe I got confused and we're actually having
Academic Discussion tonight. It can't hurt to dream. Unless you fall
off the bed or something. Ouch. It's dark outside. I
don't believe it. Don't wanna leave Cafeteria for another half hour.
That's great, just great. No school tomorrow. Ahead of reading Bleak
House. Whatta jip. I guess. If there's a smoke break tonight,
the pack of Newports I got are short, so I wouldn't be able to smoke with my
classmates and New Best Friend (Professor) to the greatest extent possible.
Some kids are singing on the opposite end of the cafeteria. Have they
Anyway, here's a website, internet! Seventh
paragraph. Gotta do at least one more paragraph here. Good. 20
minutes until I want to get up. What else is going on. Probably
nothing. To L.A., wonks know a lot. Job, please.
Jeez. Overheard at table next to me-- "...They're way better than Kosher
nachos." That settles that. Cafeteria feels more empty with it being
dark outside. Like, it's about time we all got going home. That sort
of crap. 15 minutes until I can get up! I figure one more paragraph
should do it for now.
And that'll be the eighth paragraph. Lotta controversy
with the DNC. My official position is I Don't Know. Not sure why I
need an official position. Seems not quite right. Jeez. Get to
walk to class in the dark, and walk home in the dark. That's a lot of
walking. It's not quite, "Room 203" far, but it's still a substantial
amount of dark walking. Movie is 104 minutes long. Maybe time for
some Academic Discussion afterwards! Or beforewards. Probably not
concurrently, though. I'm comfortable making that prediction. 8
minutes until I get up. Anyway. Few more sentences here. Ehh.
This is hard. I'm done here. Later.
I Am Home Now. I used Bold and Italics to
drive this important point home-- as in, where I am now. Remember, it
had italics and bold? Anyway. Get Out was scary. Scared
me. I was gonna say It spooked me good. And then used
italics, wait, let me start over, but thinking about that on my way home,
I realized there's very little separating me saying that for humor and, let's
say, an 'alt-light' person using it. It's the same thing either way.
So the point is no more insensitivity. I saw a movie about it and
now I've learned once and for all. That movie wasn't about it.
Fine, whatever. What's going on. Ninth paragraph and crap. I
am home now, that prediction was correct. I am drinking a beer, smoking a
cigarette, playing poker. All true facts.
Haven't eaten yet, though. All day! I don't
believe it. Typing the first 8 paragraphs, I just kept thinking, c'mon
readers, we'll get through this, the future of the entry is still unwritten!
Unless if you believe in pre-destiny and/or fate. Then, fine it's been
written. Congratulations. I believe in The Twilight Zone.
Prove me wrong! Don't know what that means. At least I've already
seen Split and Get Out. Pretty sure those are the last of the horror
movies. It's all Will Ferrell Comedies from here on out! Talk
about a blast from the past. Another movie. I don't know what
I'm talking about.
Eleventh paragraph! The food I have is General Tso's
chicken. Well, it's my chicken now. But he invented it. And
pork fried rice. Which is like rice, only fried in pork. And that's
about it. Jeez. I'm gonna still be residually scared from Get Out
for at least another 24 or 48 hours. Stupid movies, making me feel things.
I didn't sign up for feeling things! Anyway, jeez. Get Out
and Split are both appropriate directions for what to do when the movie
is over. I smell collusion. Anyway, crap and crap.
Gonna have to put food on a plate to microwave it, like a chump.
12th paragraph. So far, improved entry from a D to a D+
with these new paragraphs. I don't believe it. Been playing some
Solitaire lately. I don't mean to brag but I win sometimes. Against
an enemy as old as time-- playing cards. Sure. See, the
strategy is get them aces up there, then add cards to the ace piles.
Cracked that code. Also, you should be able to start new lines of
solitaire with jacks or queens. That's how I feel at least. Just a
suggestion. There should be a guy who plays solitaire with real life
playing cards, and he just keeps cheating, and he laughs himself silly.
Just described my life. Man Am I Getting Away
With Something! Love it. What else is crap. Elections are
tomorrow. I'm just gonna go in with the assumption that The Bad Guys Will
Win. They've got a pretty good track record, that's been my experience of
late. 13th paragraph. Guess 20 is within reach, then time to
re-evaluate. Like that car commercial. I think the point of that car
commercial is let your car make your life decisions for you. Makes
sense to me. Teacher insisted that Spontaneous Combustion is a real thing.
Pretty sure it's not. Oh well, live and learn.
Crap and crap. At least I get to eat soon. That's
not scary. What else. On the Sidewalk Coffee Calendar Website, they
updated their description of my from "Alt/ Indie-Rock" to "Alt/
Indie-Rock/Singer Songwriter." Wow! Someone's been paying attention
to my social media posts. Except now I disown it. Not much
singersongwritering. Oh well, can't win every battle. Jeez.
14th paragraph and whatnot. Singer songwriter stuff is like Hey it's
the color blue, let's have a party, do it on time because you know I'm never
tardy. Alt/Indie-Rock is more like, I got fun things to say, then
I'm gonna say 'em, i'm gonna be earning my keep so much i'll need a per diem.
Ok. Got a good title to keep in mind for possible
album title of next round of music. Probably won't use it, but it's good
to keep in my mind for context. That sort of crap. The point is
it turns out I know Latin. Never woulda guessed. Anyway.
Just had a Kit Kat break. Man these commercials have got me trained
good. That's no good. I'm a slave to Big Candy. The point
is the only way to cure myself is to write nonsense on a regular basis.
What else is going on. I'm digging having my show on a Thursday Night.
It's like, hey, is it the weekend yet, i don't know, it's pretty close, let's
go listen to Mike and see if that helps us. Sounds good to me.
16th paragraph! I thought "Get Out" was gonna be
about Elaine from Seinfeld pushing people in disbelief. Boy was I
wrong. Anyway. Five paragraphs to go. Or more. Not sure.
Rice is one of my least favorite things to eat the next day. Live and
learn. Crap and crap. Basically just need to come up with an idea
for AAL Paper and then I'm ready to finish semester/hopefully graduate.
Then, who knows. Not me. I'm pretty sure the Bus purposely got there
at that time so I would lose my cigarettes. Only logical explanation.
What else. Four paragraphs to go. I can do that.
What else. Man, I gotta write 4 more paragraphs!
Doesn't sound right. Pretty sure I never have to watch another Horror
Movie as long as I live. Fiction is scary. Specially when it makes
us think of nonfiction. Because that would mean reality is scary.
Which is an idea I'm not 100% ready to get behind. I can make this the
last paragraph. Being scared throws the rule book out of the window.
That's how I feel. I don't know, crap and crap. I'll see ya later.
Thursday, November 2, 2017
Let's Title Or Something
Gonna try to write an entry. Not Pot Committed yet, so we'll see.
Today is Thursday. No class or anything today! What else.
Baseball is over. The Good Guys Won. That's my opinion on things.
This isn't going well at all. Up 1.28 dollars in poker today so far.
Anyway. Started a can of beer. That should motivate me to write some
paragraphs. I don't know. Let's see, what's going on in life.
That's good stuff to talk about. Open Mic on Saturday hopefully.
Probably won't go, but it would be good if I did. Reading Bleak House a
little bit. Maybe get started on AAL Paper-- that would be an Adult Move.
Gotta figure out what to write about. Gotta figure that out first, too.
Before I start writing. Hmm, I could start writing, and see what
happens. See, this paragraph is already paying off!
What else. Start writing right now. Here we go.
There's been a lot of
talk lately about African American Literature in the so-called "Post Racial"
Era. I've been reading up on some of these books. For a class-- you
know which one. This one! Anyway, some of the books were pretty
good. A couple of them were boring. A guy wrote one of them whose
been in the media a lot lately. That was a good book. I should write
about that. Still, though, there were other books. One of them was a
Humor Novel. Get a load of that!
This isn't going well at all.
I'll try again later in the entry. I guess this counts as the third paragraph.
Whatta wonderful world. Startin' to get the juices flowing, though.
I knew this entry would pay off. Actually, I didn't. Frankly, I'm
surprised I got to the third paragraph. What the what. Maybe I
should treat this like the Fabled Philosophy Final that asked Why? and to
get an A you'd have to answer Why Not? and that's it. For my 20
page paper, I should just write, I Don't Know, I'm White. That
Fourth paragraph. Just lost 6 dollars. Oh well,
live and learn. At least I'm up to the fourth paragraph. Birthday is
in less than 6 weeks. Probably can put up 50 dollars then in poker.
If I feel like it. Anyway, what the what.
I've been reading books for this class.
Stands to reason I'm able to talk about them at this point. First book we
read was Between The World And Me. This was a good book.
Talked about his experience as a black man and when he was a kid and then when
he was a young adult-- leading up to the exciting climax where he's a black man.
I get a little bit what it was like. His parents used corporal punishment,
which apparently is common in black families. Maybe that's something I
could talk about. Hmm. I've given me a lot to think about.
Fifth paragraph. Anyway.
Trying to think if other books talked about corporal punishment. That
would help. Probably should pick a topic that's more about the
Literaryness than the black experience. It is an English Class and
whatnot. Anyway, crap and crap. Maury and other shows in that
channel 11 block similar to Maury have the best commercials. Good jingles
for calling debt consolidators or personal injury lawyers or cars for kids.
Lots of good stuff in that block of TV. Anyway, crap and crap.
Sixth paragraph. It's goin' ok. Not good, really,
not at all. But okay. Bought a new bottle of alcohol yesterday.
Told my parents about it. A+ Number 1 Son. Turn 29 in six weeks.
Pretty sure that's a prime number. Hmm. 2? No, doesn't go
into it. 3? Nope. 5? Get real. Seven? Not a
chance. 9? Fuck no. 11? hahah. Not 13, either.
That covers that. I remember once in 7th grade our teacher had a birthday
and said it was a prime number and I figured it out and he gave me his clothes
and I became the teacher. Anyway, what else is going on.
Seventh paragraph. What the what. A few episodes
behind on The Mick. One episode behind on White Famous. Few episodes
behind on The Simpsons. Think that's it. Still have the Daily Show I
recorded with the writer of Between The World And Me which I mentioned in
my introductory paragraph of my paper. Hmm, does that mean I can write
20 pages about the Daily Show? Because of the transitive property and
whatnot. Anyway, crap and crap. I don't know. Started watching
The Deer Hunter last night. Saw the part where they hunted the deer then
got bored and went to sleep. Finish it tonight I guess. What else is
Eighth paragraph. I figure I gotta go for at least 20,
right? That's my track record I'm pot-committed to. I wonder, after
winning the world series, how many players on the Astros 25 man roster went,
Hmm, this doesn't really matter at all. What difference does it make.
Probably 8-10, that's my guess. I figure, you make the playoffs, maybe not
counting the wild card game, you won. You get to play in the playoffs.
Especially at Game 7 of the World Series. You made it as far as you could
go. You're not gonna play any more games whether you win or lose. It
makes no difference.
Baseball. Anyway, crap and crap. I was
rooting for the Astros, but when they won, I was like, they don't give a fig
about me being happy for them. This is for Houston. They could care
less about me! So that ruined everything. Ninth paragraph.
I could get away with doing a 10 paragraph entry. It's a non-class today,
special occasion. Pot Commission is thrown out the window. Gonna
either have a Chicken Pot Pie or 2 hot dogs and half a potato pancake for dinner
tonight. With the other being for dinner tomorrow night. Great!
I don't know. What the Hell do they make the Chicken Pot Pie filler out
of. My guess is it's not healthy. Probably has fat in it or
Anyway, jeez, tenth paragraph. That's something great.
I didn't know I'd be able to get here when I first started. Plus, still
got some money on poker. Playing with my entire bankroll at the table,
sure, but if I double up, I'm more or less back to where I started. And if
I lose enough, but not all of it, I can go back down to the lower limit and
potentially build it up again. So yeah I'd say My Life Is Going Great.
I wanna talk about my experience as a White Guy in my paper. Can't be
How I Learned Not To Be Racist but I feel I can write some of the 20 pages
about my stupid perspective.
It's important! Because I'm White! Anyway, crap
and crap. Ten paragraphs to go and whatnot, I guess. Added a new
quote to my Facebook Quotes page. This is Moleman in the morning.
Good Moleman to you. Hmm, should capitalize 'In the morning.'
Good thing I figured that out. What else. Decent chance I'll be
Busto in poker by the end of this entry. What else is going on.
Busto. Man that lingo makes me feel I'm on the Cutting Edge of Cool.
I guess. Anyway, 11th paragraph still. I got that going for me.
Apparently Meryl Streep has been nominated for 20 Oscars. I haven't
even been in twenty movies! Unbelievable. What
else is going on.
12th paragraph. Jeez. I like the tax plan.
It's rich people going, Hmm, you know who could use more money? Us!
Wonderful. Anyway, crap and crap. Why does Jerry Springer always
have to have the final word. Whatta jerk. Anyway, huh? I
don't know. Crap and crap. Maybe something about having dual
audiences with these books. Both African American and White. See,
this is how African Americans read the bo-- wait, I'm white. Lemme amend
that. This is how white people assume African Americans read the book...
Sounds good to me.
13th paragraph. I don't know. Eight paragraphs to
go. That's a lot of paragraph. Jeez. John Kelly thinks we
should have compromised to avoid the civil war. In other words, John Kelly
thinks, you know, the confederacy had some pretty good ideas. This
is the guy that's supposed to be the voice of reason to Trump. Whatta jip.
On the one hand, the tax cuts would increase the debt by, I think, a trillion
and a half dollars. On the other hand, I want more money.
Quite a conundrum. What else is going on.
Seven paragraphs to go! I don't believe it! And I
get to feel real good about myself afterwards. Contributing to society and
whatnot. Maybe Chicken Pot Pie tonight. I'm a big fan of savory
pies. Apple pie can go fuck itself, but you put some meat in a pie, I'm
there. Anyway, huh. I bet Don McLean was invested in some culinary
start-up and wanted to get people on board with American Pies. Only
logical explanation when you really think about it. I wonder if American
Pie is friends with We Didn't Start The Fire. That's the kind of crap I
put up on the internet for some reason.
15th paragraph! Wow! Maybe this is the last
paragraph. I'll see how it goes. Vietnam isn't gonna traumatize
itself. What else is going on. We're spending 250 million a day on
the war on terror. That's a good use of money on something the military
can do nothing to stop in the first place. Anyway, jeez. This'll be
the last paragraph. Still gotta finish it, though. That's how that
goes. Eh, I'll see ya later.
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
I Need To Title To You, or: Post Title Stress Disorder
But also, Hello. I was walking by an old lady on my way home from School
and I realized I like the way Old People Smell. Can't argue with that.
The point is Great. Doin' my Disabilities Final Essay on The Station
Agent and Dwarfism and whatnot. I'll knock that crap out of the park
and whatnot. I just won 4 dollars in poker with AA vs KK. I don't
believe it. I have over 10 dollars now. Never even heard of that
amount of things. And the things is money to boot! Which is
an expression. Ya learn something every entry. Anyway, what
the what. Brought home Halal Food. Save that for later.
That. Learn somethin' new. Anyway, crap
and crap! WSG7 is tonight. I'm rooting for both teams to have fun.
Anyway, I don't know. There was an Academic Article on The Station
Agent I found in the Databases. So that settles that! Crap and
crap. Not only do I have more than 10 dollars, I have more than
twelve dollars. Somebody Alert The Presses. They need to
know there's a manchild in Bayside Queens who has Over Twelve Dollars!
Anyway, jeez. Mom is okay now, though. Stress that. Saw my
Doctor/Therapist today. Knocked on his door when Appointment was supposed
to start. He came out a few minutes later and was PISSED. How dare I
knock on his door. He was doing important stuff. Which I can only
assume was an early-morning-in-office masturbation. Otherwise, what's his
So now I know not to knock on doors. Learn somethin'
new every damn day. Can't wait for this World Series to be over. I
need to take a Chill Pill after every one of these games. The point is Hey
It's The Weekend. Maybe do Saturday Open Mic. Seems like a
worthwhile venture. Terrorist Automobile attack yesterday. Glad that
I'm pretty sure no one from Stuy was hurt. I place more importance on
their lives than other peoples, is the point. Because I used to be what
they is now. I take solace in the fact that, they're gonna be interviewing
kids about it, that it's Stuy High. Because they're gonna have some well
reasoned apropos shit to say about this. You just watch!
Anyway. I don't know. I'm guessing the school bus
the guy hit was for Disabled Kids. Because, to my memory, Stuy didn't have
a school bus. So, if they did, it was probably only for disabled kids.
That's my guess. Or it was a school bus from another school.
Finally the pieces are starting to come together. You know what, I
think the School Bus was in on it. I don't trust this school bus at all.
Gonna eat Halal Food All Over The Place. Like an American.
Anyway, huh. Fourth Paragraph. These Kids Know Pre-Calculus,
they're gonna be alright. Don't worry about them. Jeez.
Pretty much Pot Committed to writing about Dwarfism and how it's portrayed in
Literature and/or Media. Great stuff. Gets me into my head where I
remember Oh Yeah, I'm Really Short, This Is Partly About Me which is
important, because if I don't think about my height intensely all the time,
Yep. I don't know, fifth paragraph. What
other kinds of Baseball Games are on tonight. I don't know. Maybe I
can also write about Dwarfism for my AAL class, and write 20 pages about one of
the opening scenes in Me, Myself, and Irene about the Limo Driver.
And compare it to talking about Bad Santa where the same actor played
Billy Bob Thornton's Partner In Crime. That's something worth thinking
about. An Analysis Of Tony Cox. I think I need to use one of
the books we read, though. I don't think he wrote even one of these books.
Oh well, live and learn. What, still the fifth paragraph? Great,
I Don't Know. Apparently they're looking for another
person in connection to the Car Attack. I bet it was one of the Stuy
students, look into them. Whatta sellout. Tired of these cars
attacking people of their own free will. That's my take on the matter.
Anyway, crap and crap. He was a big Uber guy, this terrorist. Now we
know why. Practicin' his driving skills until he was proficient at
potentially running people over. Cracked that code. Anyway, what
else. #YesAllUbers. Sorry. This entry is the pits.
The good news is It Will Be Over At Some Point. And then what. I got
nothin' goin' on! Whatta jip. Can think about going to Open Mic on
Saturday. That'll take up some time. Hmm, gonna play two songs.
I know one maybe. Other one? Hmm need some time with this.
What a waste of time. Seventh Paragraph. The
point is Yes People Are Dead but i have more than 12 dollars. Hmm.
Maybe Post Title Stress Disorder is realer than I thought. Oh well.
Gotta cure myself of this before the entry is over. If not, what kind of
example am I setting for Today's Youth? To succumb to post title stress
disorder? Not On My Watch. I used to wear a watch in high
school. OH NO KIDS TRAUMATIZED FOREVER. Jeez. Don't
underestimate these kids. They know pre-calculus and the popular ones come
together with their grade to write a musical every year! They got this.
I once started writing a play for Sing! that was essentially
a rip off of the South Park Movie (and I, somehow, didn't make the connection at
the time) about the Iraq War instead of Canada. I wrote some amount of
pages and never finished because these people don't know who I am.
That settles that. I also once took a Video Production Class with other
students in it. Ahhh, high school. I don't know, crap and
crap. It turns out I have a history of writing things that are complete
rip offs of other things without making the connection. Like that, and a
couple of lyrics of Rap that were Eminem when I was in seventh grade.
History. I'd venture to guess there was a third thing somewhere along
the way. Anyway.
Ninth paragraph. I think it would be really interesting
if there was a sophomore in Stuyvesant who has an idea to write his own
blog-website called crazysheet because he had no real social connections in the
high school in real life. It would be a real case of life imitating life
imitating life which was imitating art. Anyway, jeez. Crap and crap.
Crazysheet, you're my best friend. Not looking forward to Hell,
though. Anyway, crap and crap. I don't get why some Heavy-Metal
Musicians are friends with the devil. He doesn't care about you!
He's not gonna show any loyalty to you in the after life. You're only
making things harder on yourself. Where's the logic in that.
Tenth Paragraph? Yep. Maybe some Heavy
Metal Musicians don't believe in religion or the after life. HUH?
WHA? I didn't even know that was an option. Anyway, crap and crap.
I guess potentially 11 more paragraphs. Whatta jip. Shold be nice
and hungry for Halal Food by the time that's over, though. So that's the
opposite of a jip. It's a pij. Whatta Clunker. Anyway.
I'm a big fan of Jpegs. Way better than Pngs. And don't even get
me started on Gifs. What else is going on. Jeez. I also
used to live near there by Stuy for my second semester of sophomore year.
College, that is. Not the semester in high school I started writing at
The point is Everything Relates To Me. Larry David on
SNL this weekend. Miley Cyrus performing her music. Sounds like a
real 1-2 knockout punch. Emimem is musical guest in a few weeks.
Does that mean we can expect new music from Eminem? I hope so. He
raps with words that I can really get behind. Anyway, what the what.
11th paragraph. Whatta Not-Quite-Completely-A-Waste-Of-Our Time.
Solid D+!!! Most people don't pass anything ever. The point is
will perform on the show to promote his new album, "Revival," which debuts on
November 17." I guess we can expect new
music. All the clues were there. In the next sentence. That I
was too lazy to read originally.
12th paragraph. Drinking a can of beer this entry.
Bout halfway through it. It's the double can. 24oz. Only The
Best For Me. It's November. You know what that means. Gotta
write a Title for Web Page for when it shows up in your browser, the thing, that
thing. Hmm. November. What to do. It takes a very
delicate humor to come up with the most appropriate and hilarious thing
possible. Hmm. Here's something I've been workshopping-- Novemberzzz.
Sounds Good To Me. Jeez. Eight and a half paragraphs and crap
left. I have over 13 bucks as of this sentence.
Alright! Anyway, what the what. I get to 20
dolllars, I can start more-or-less responsibly playing those 1.50$ sit 'n gos.
I don't believe it! Anyway. I don't know. Tomorrow will be 4
weeks since I brought in Guitar to get fixed. He said it would take 2-3
weeks. The point is I'm going to consult a lawyer to see if I could sue
him for 300,000 dollars. I think I've got a case and whatnot. I
hope I win, my doctor sued me 320,000 dollars for knocking on his door while he
was mid-masturbation. Figure out a way to sell a year of my health
care for 20,000 dollars. Then we're back to even.
Hmm, selling health care on the black market. Gotta be
something there. I don't have all the details. What else is going
on, it's the 14th paragraph! I don't believe it. Baseball Game in a
couple of hours. You know what? I am gonna be kind of disappointed
if the Dodgers win. Watching these games, nominally rooting for the Astros,
after all the excitement, it turns out I am Pot-Committed to rooting for the
Astros. Whatta tricksters. Anyway, jeez. Altuve will probably
win MVP. That's pretty good for the Astros. He belongs to their
Baseball Club. I don't know, six paragraphs after this one.
What the what. Hey, birthday and Chanukah coming up.
Maybe get me one of those new TVs where its HD and I can watch Netflix and
Whatnot. My life only is 20-40% taken up by TV. With a new TV, and
more things to potentially watch, let's see if we can bump that up to 50-70%!
Anyway, jeez. Thinkin' about buying into the 1.50 dollar sit 'n go now.
Gotta do something irresponsible. That's the point of life. Be
irresponsible. That'll show 'em! Anyway, I don't know.
Tonight'll be okay. Pick up Guitar and go through a few songs to
potentially do on Saturday. Which is a big Potentially at this
point. Never been to this Open Mic by myself. Don't know how much
fun it would be.
Alright! Five paragraphs to go! I had to stay
dressed all of yesterday like a chump in case any trick 'r treaters came.
And No One came. Not a one. Oh well, live and learn. And
there I was, wearing pants and a shirt, like a chump. Okay.
Got some more words to go here before I'm done. No pissing on the floor in
close to a week! Keep up the good work. Talkin' to myself.
Jeez. I don't wanna freak you out or anything, but I have Over 14
Dollars. Anyway, jeez. Stuy kids tweeting about the terrorist
attack yesterday that they heard bullets and it was a shooting. You
were way off. And you're supposed to be smart? Stay in school, kids.
Especially because there's a terrorist outside!
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
What else. 17th paragraph. It was a real Worthwhile Entry, I feel.
For me, at least. I think it's a real D+/C-. And you can't argue
with the facts. Also, starting to come to terms with my Post Title Stress
Disorder. What else. Bad part about heating up Halal Food later is I
gotta put it on a plate, like a chump. I've discussed this before here.
Half the fun is eating it out of a, optimally, Styrofoam container, and, at
least, a metal container. Plates? That's for chumps. Also,
what else is going on. Lance McCullers Jr starting for the Astros.
Sounds like Lance McCullers Jr is about to join the World Series Greats.
Three paragraphs to go. Probably, at least. Not
looking forward to the Post Entry Stress Disorder, but I gotta end at some
point. BRB POCKET AA LOST TWO DOLLAR WHATTA JIP. At least I still
have like 12 dollars. A little less. Oh well, live and learn.
I'm up over 3 dollars this session all in all. Cool. As of now.
What else is going on. Now they think I'm gonna be on tilt, but
I'm only gonna tilt so much that they go on tilt thinking I'm on full tilt.
Sounds like a plan. I can't believe it's only been four days since I saw
The Snowman. Life changing experience. That's how I feel.
Starting to get the idea I can go over 20 paragraphs.
Maybe write until baseball starts or something, I don't know. I'm going to
keep my options open for now. Which is an expression. Ya Learn
Something New Every Now And Then. Also, full disclosore, I'm
inappropriately playing above my level. I have over 11.5 dollars, I'm
playing 2/5 cent. I surrender myself to the Responsible Poker Playing
Authorities. Sure, why not. Anyway, crap and crap. 19th
paragraph. What the what. I like the term Lame Stream Media.
It has a negative urology implication. That's how I feel about things.
20th paragraph. Down to being only up 1.6 dollars this
session. Oh well. At least I'm Up 1.6 Dollars! Sounds
good to me. Birthday in less than 6 weeks. It's exactly 6 weeks
after Halloween. I crunched the numbers and that's what I came up with.
I don't know. Was watching Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade before class
after doctor. Still got 15 minutes to go! I can't wait. I bet
the same thing happens at the end as what I've seen previous times watching it.
I don't know. Whatta clunker. I blame you for some reason.
Maybe Last Paragraph. I hope so. What else is
going on. Down to being only up 91 cents. Whatta clunker. The
point is what else is going on. What kinda shirt can I wear for Open Mic.
Gotta be a two-purpose shirt. It also has to be a good shirt to wear if I
don't go to open mic. That makes sense. Anyway, I can't believe I'm
almost done here. Great. Unless I start more paragraphs for some
reason. No one would see that comin'. And my main goal in this
website is to be unpredictable... I've given myself a lot to think
about. Up to up 1.26 dollars. Fascinating Blog Fodder.
22nd paragraph. I don't 100% know why I'm doing this.
What else. I originally wrote Fascinating Blog Territory. I
made my choice and I stand by it. Crap and crap. Baseball is in 40
minutes. That would line up nicely with 25 paragraphs at the rate I
project paragraphs will go. On the other hand, I can't remember one
thing worth saying I said in the past hour. That may only be like two
paragraphs, though. I'm hittin' all sorts of walls. I wish I
could hit right before the wall. Then we're talking potential ground rule
double. Six umpires in World Series Games. I wouldn't lie to
you. I may say wrong things, but not with purpose to deceit, rather,
because I've been misinformed. Lemme check that one out. THERE'S
SEVEN. Holy Shit. It's "A group that includes two rotating
replay officials. I think they should only count as half an umpire.
Six umpires. That settles it.
23rd paragraph. Why Is This Happening. Coordinate
with Baseball Time is one theory. Not Done With My Beer is another one.
Don't wanna stop playing poker is a third. Legitimately want to add on
more to this entry is a fourth. That's a lot of reasons. I'm tired
of listing reasons. Can't we just agree it's one or more of those four
things? Let's agree. It's fun to agree! You got another person
whose on board with your bullshit! What else. Lost 2 dollars in
unlucky fashion. Such is life I guess. What else. I'm up 11
cents in poker. That's more than 2 big blinds. Not bad for two hours
work. The point is Hey 2 more paragraphs to go For Sure.
Penultimate! Wow. Changed the size of my Poker
Playing window. Whole new game, now. Everything's changed.
Especially the size of things in the window. Changed it back.
I wasn't 100% comfortable. Back to my bread and butter now, though.
Crap and crap. Paragraph and a crap half to go. Plus, I put that
food on a plate, the rice ends up on top and the meat ends up on bottom.
Whatta jip! White sauce and hot sauce all evaporates. Microwaves are
for chumps, is the point. I will legitimately be upset if the Dodgers win.
More upset if they win than happy if the Astros win. Probably.
Sounds about right. Up 66 cents as of now in Poker. Alright!
Last paragraph. Let's hope. Who wouldn't want
to read 25 paragraphs of i'm up 2 dollars in poker. now i'm up 3
dollars. now i'm up 60 cents. now i'm up 30 cents.
Probably no one, is my guess. Jeez. What else is going on for 5 or
10 more minutes. Crap and stuff. Lookin' forward to scheduling my
show for Late December Potentially. It sure is a thing to do.
Anyway, crap and crap. Lots of Entries lately. Writin' em is better
than real life. That's my opinion on things. I'll see ya later.