Thursday, January 30, 2025

I Have To Write An Entry

    Sure, I do!  Last entry of the week.  I don't see what's funny about it.  Okay give it a second!  I mean, it just started!  Give me a minute to ramp up into humor!  What have I done today so far.  Woke up early in the 10:00's of A.M.'s to accept Super Market Delivery.  I got sodas!  Took a few walks since then.  For lunch I ate Part II of a Burger King delivery from last night.  Burger King.  Let's think about that for a second.  Is there anything funny there.  Hmm.  I don't know.  Burger King.  Burger King.  Hmm.  Nothings registering too heavily with me.  I also watched a few Communities.  Is there something funny about Community?  It's a funny show.  But there's nothing too funny about The Word Itself.  Starts with, "Cum."   Who finds that funny?  The juvenile perhaps.  Come Mutiny.  What does Mutiny mean.  That's not how it's pronounced.  I switched the, "N," and the, "T." Oh no, where else have I been mixing up letters!       
   That doesn't sound like me.  I have a pretty firm handle on saying words correctly.  If I say the wrong thing it's only because it's a joke.  Huh.  Lemme say a lot of words correctly now!  OK.  I GUESS.  WHO'S TO SAY WHAT'S RIGHT OR WHAT'S WRONG.  GOD AND/OR THE DEVIL.  Why are we listening to the devil?  I DON'T KNOW.  JUST GOD, THEN!  I dunno.  If we're in Hell do we listen to the Devil then in Hell?  Cause he's the boss there?  Or even then are we still supposed to only listen to God.  I don't know.  There's no one way to live your life.  I'd say probably don't listen to any supernatural ghosts.  I guess we should be good people at least.  That was my yearbook quote in high school.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Just found out I'm accepting another Super Market Delivery tomorrow night when I should be working on music.  Music on the weekend!  Guitarring it up.  Singing it out.  Writing it... on!  There's a 10% chance I will write a song.  There's a 2% chance someone will eventually care.
    Okay.  I don't know.  What the Hell.  February coming up in a day or two!  YEP TWO DAYS.  I guess the best thing I can say about February is that it's not January.  The worst thing I can say about February is that It's No September.  One of the middle things I can say about February is that It's Not Too Far Off From March.  Is February still African American History Month or is that DEI?  I'm concerned Learning Black History is a DEI!  Anyway.  ALRIGHT CLASS.  YOU KNOW THIS MONTH NORMALLY WE'D BE CELEBRATING BLACK HISTORY.  ON ACCOUNT OF TAKING NOTE OF OUR SHARED HERITAGE.  However, DEI!  Sometimes black people ARE GETTING JOBS SOMEWHERE.  So we can't do any race-positive things anywhere.  YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT RIGHT.  HERE ARE SOME MORE African American Things we have to cancel for this class...  THIS IS A SCENE BEING PLAYED OUT ACROSS THE COUNTRY.  I don't like it!  It's serious!  It's not funny!  Anyway. 
    What else is up.  HOW CAN I SAY FOR CERTAIN that's happening.  I felt it happen in my head!  I dunno!  What else is going on.  Let's get to some jokes and humor.  So what do I wanna talk about, now that I've talked about all the activities I've done in this young day.  I didn't talk about Everything.  I... uh... climbed and descended the stairs a bunch of times!  I went to Starbucks!  I Made It in a toilet bowl!  I got a rug in my bathroom but it's upside down!  BEEN THAT WAY for weeks.  I don't know why I had to tell you that!  Anyway.  In programming news, maybe I take next week off from the website!  I will be working on my music.  Seven days to a week...  TEN days to a week plus an extra weekend.  What CAN I accomplish during that time period?  I SUPPOSE SONGS.  Yes.  Songs.  That'll pay the phone bill.  Anyway.  Still, though.  I believe I will do an okay job working on music.  Or it will be a living Hell.  I don't know.  Let's aim for Living Purgatory Experience creating Living Heaven Music.  WHY.  What do I know about music.  WHAT DO I KNOW about what it takes TO CREATE Brilliant Music.  I know it should be Halfway Between Heaven And Hell when you're making it.  It should be partly good and partly bad conditions!  And I know it should produce something that's Completely Good! 
    Alright.  Completely Good Music.  That part makes sense.  The first part still seems like Random Guesswork.  Yeah!  Anyway.  Six paragraphs to go.  I don't know what I'm gonna talk about in this paragraph yet!  Maybe you do!  Man.  People are SMART.  What if I want to subvert expectations and talk about something unexpected.  Then I can go on a rant about a topic no one has ever heard of before.  Hmm.  What hasn't been said exactly! HMM.  Airline fo... no.  What if I've got some new material on Airline Food.  Then by all means.  Regale us.  OKAY BUT THIS IS PRETTY CUTTING EDGE STUFF.  I just wanna make sure you're ready.  AIRPLANE FOOD... IS ONLY SERVED... IN THE SKY.  You can't have it on the ground.  Yes.  Yes.  Maybe that's why they make it bad.  They know if it's too good people are gonna want to have it Landside.  I DUNNO.  WHO WOULD REALLY ask for airplane food outside of on airplanes even if it was known for being good.  I know Burger King is delicious but I don't ask for it when I'm not at a Burger King! 
   Anyway.  Halfway through the entry.  MAYBE I SHOULD.  Maybe sometimes I can be getting Burger King even elsewhere.  Hey I'm at the Post Office can I have some Burger King.  HERE YA GO, SIR.  And they pull out a bag of BK from beneath the desk.  Anyway.  Everywhere the character goes he gets Burger King!  Does that make him THE Burger King?  NO I don't like that direction for the game!  ANYWAY.  Do all places know to be prepared for him specifically with Burger King. Or do they always have Bags Of Burger King available for everybody in this alternate dimension.  Hmm.  I thought it was just for him.  But now I don't know!  Anyway.  Burger King.  Great.  What if one day this guy decides he wants Wendys.  Will all of society be on board with changing to Wendys.  Or will they be like, "Fuck this guy, we were getting him Burger King, now he wants Wendys?  Enough is enough already."  I don't think society works in unison like that.  I dunno.  I think it does!  People are unique.  Some people can get this guy Wendys, some people can stick with Burger King, and some people can be like Fuck That Guy.
    Ugh.  This guy has got a fast food problem and everyone is enabling him!  Alright.  Great.  I guess I gotta keep writing four more paragraphs.  I'm gonna figure out what to talk about.  Let's see.  What's on your mind?  Anything good?  Great.  Other People's Minds.  What's the deal with those.  Must be pretty interesting stuff going on on your side of the screen!  I DUNNO.  What does it feel like to be me right now.  I'll tell you all about how I feel IN THE MUSIC.  That's what music is for.  The website is more about Jokes And Crap!  What are some Jokes And Crap And Whatknot right now.  Amusing matters.  Okay.  Been thinking about the Coyote from Coyote and Road Runner.  Him falling down.  He falls down cliffs a lot.  He overruns them and then he falls down.  I feel it.  I feel his pain while he's falling!  And it happens over and over to him all the time!  Are we ever gonna see that Coyote From Roadrunner Movie.  I dunno.  WE WILL.  I think so.  Gotta stay positive.  JUST GOTTA TRY TO STAY POSITIVE.
   Eighth paragraph.  I don't know.  I think the current skuttlebutt is that the film will not ever be released.  I WILL IMAGINE IT IN MY MIND.  It will be better than the actual film!  What will I imagine it starting off as.  Wile E Coyote chilling in front of a tunnel waiting for Roadrunner to show up.   OK.  I guess.  That's how it starts.  I don't like Mind Cartoons.  What would I prefer I do, then?  Oh.  Just talk.  For now.  I guess!  That's all!  Anyway.  I wouldn't mind mind cartoons but I'm just not that great at them.  If there was a cartoon going on in my brain, my experience has been I don't have complete control over what happens!  And even when I did, my track record is that nothing that creative happens!  Anyway.  What am I good at In My Mind.  Ya know what?  That's a good question.  I am probably Good At Something.  Let's get to the bottom of What It Is I'm Good At because I want to feel good about myself for some reason.  But for a good reason.  That sort of thing.  Oh okay great.  I'm gonna leave now.
   Penultimate paragraph!  Alright.  Great.  Two paragraphs to go!  The opening and closing music for Improv Shows is maybe about eight seconds long.  That effects the songs I think about for these potential options!  I was previously imagining maybe 12 seconds for Intro and A Lot Longer for Outro.  That's okay though!  I know better now!  What else do I know better.  I dunno.  Some things.  Some things I know better now, some things I don't know better now.  TIME moves on.  Haven't had a lot of time to process everything I learnt from watching Improv shows yet.  I learnt that I liked it!  I'm still on the fence on whether I wanna commit to it!  But now I definitely know it's good.  So that's good.  I dunno.  I guess.  Anyway what's up with you people.  All I know is that I got a paragraph and change to write.  I can figure that one out pretty easily.  Just keep the line moving!  Don't stop typing.  And if I happen to write some sentences that people like... I think we would be pretty happy about that.
    I don't know.  People might be pissed off if I write too good sentences.  Yes.  That makes sense.  SO WHAT.  Let them be upset!  My experience has mostly been people upset that the quality is too poor, not too good.  I don't get A LOT of, "THAT WAS TOO GOOD," comments.  I don't get A LOT OF COMMENTS.  So that's good.  Anyway.  Hmm.  Lemme think.   Yeah.  I think I'm gonna Think On Things.  That was a psychic comment I just got!  THINK ON THINGS.  Okay.  I just thought ON things for a while and it was okay.  I'm doing okay in the aftermath of it!  I guess.  My instinct is to Think On Things again later!  Seems like one of those things that could be helpful in different situations!  I dunno if I wanna commit to Thinking On Things all the time. I THOUGHT FOR MANY YEARS of my life.  And where did it get me.  NOWHERE.  I'm here at a GOING NOWHERE Website with some BURNOUT Readers accomplishing NOTHING.  I don't really feel that way.  You guys are great.  IN FACT you're probably even greater than great.  Probably Too Great!  I GET THAT WAY sometimes.  Anyway.  Being great isn't so great.  I'll see ya later.

-5:49 P.M. 

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

My First Impression Is Myself Writing A Title

    Thanks.  Hey!  Another Entry.  Just imagine it!  We don't have to imagine it.  It'll Exist.  Oh.  Just read it then!  As I/After I write it!  Here we go.  Went to Improv Show last night.  Saw two different Teams.  BOTH were good.  I had a good experience laughing a lot.  Well, more smiling than laughing.  More grinning than smiling.  But definitely a lot of solid grinning.  And a dozen or so laughs!  Both teams were good!  It's not a competition.  Sometimes it is.  But it wasn't this time.  ANYWAY, yeah, I look at what I saw and I go I dunno if I wanna aspire to this exact thing because I dunno if its achievable for me but it might be a Long Shot Achievable And If It Is It's Kinda Something To Aspire To But I dunno if it's Me Exactly.  Michael, don't worry about it!  Just enjoy the ride!  OK.  I was taught to never hitchhike but I guess ANYTHING GOES in improv.  I guess I'll get in your car and Enjoy A Ride With You!  HITCHHIKING.  THAT'S A FUN GAME.  There was a movie where Will Smith gave Kevin James dating advice and His Name Was HITCH.
   Hey, we're getting hitched!  Oh so you're getting married?  NO!  We're getting love advice from Will Smith!  I saw the movie.  That's how people talk in it.  Anyway.  I LIKE Improv.  I LIKE THIS EXACT style of improv and flavor of comedy.  But is it my SUPER ULTIMATE FAVORITE?  Probably not!  But if I had my own team years from now I could do it my own way.  We could do it our own way.  I don't need to copy Existing Teams.  It could be 33% different!  Still doesn't seem like The Best Fit For Michael though.  JUST ENJOY THE RIDE.  YOU LOOK LIKE A NICE HITCHHIKER.  JUST TRY TO HAVE A FUN TIME.  WE'RE GONNA HAVE A FUN ROAD TRIP TOGETHER.  Great.  Anyway.  I don't know what the game is there exactly.  Right now I get there's a guy who picked up a hitchhiker and the driver is being very jovial.  I DUNNO.  At first I was thinking about something else with the hitchhiking but I don't think I ever put it into words and now I forget what my initial intention was!  GOD DAMN GAMES.  Anyway.  I had pizza with my brother before the show.  It was good pizza.  We talked about him reading my crazysheet story about us having bad pizza a few weeks ago.  I DO NOT like that development in my life.  People talking to me about reading this website.  IT'S OVER.  EVERYTHING'S OVER at this point.  I'll adjust I guess.  ALL I DO is adjust!
    But I'd prefer doing something else anyway.  I dunno where I see myself six months from now.  Three years from now.  Seven hundred years from now.  Probably not here.  If we're still doing this website in 700 years SOMETHING IS WRONG.  Weird to just talk to my brother about random stories from the blog or whatever.  Without talking about the underlying craziness.  IF I was reading this blog my first thought would be HMM CAN'T WE GET THAT PERSON SOME HELP.  Not necessarily like MENTAL or PROFESSIONAL help.  But just, reach out to them as a friend!  My first thought wouldn't be Hey first things first I agree with you about pizza in that Pizza Story.  Not that my Brother did anything wrong in the context he gave reading my website.  He clearly is reaching out to me as a friend!  In his own way!  BUT I FEEL ALONE a lot of the time.  That's my own problem.  What else.  I dunno.  LIRR was LOUD on the way home.  Just noise on top of noise on top of noise.  I assume that's relatable.  In my head EVERYONE can relate to being consumed by random noise.
   Anyway.  Had to walk home from the station.  I think busses were actually running but I was operating as if they weren't.  Playing it safe!  I didn't wanna stand at the bus stop indefinitely waiting for a bus that doesn't exist!  I don't like stalking the neighborhood at night.  It made me feel like a hoodlum.  Like maybe I'm up to no good.  What if people look outside and see a guy just walking around at night!  What's he up to!  Where's he going!  What's his purpose here!  Especially those houses where the lights light up when you walk in front of them.  I assume as some sort of Security Alarm System.  I start walking by the house and suddenly the porch light goes on as a self defense mechanism.  I'M JUST WALKING BY.  DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.  WE'RE ALL COOL.  Feels like they singled me out for Suspicion Personally!  The light that goes on while I walk by.  I'm no asshole.  Just trying to find my way home!  Anyway.  I found my way home.  I'm not good at navigation.  And I don't do this walk all the time.  So just getting back home was a really nice treat last night!  That's how I feel!
   Fifth paragraph.  Noise.  Some people like it!  SEXUALLY.  Some people can't get off unless they're listening to Lots Of Random Noise in their head!  I guess.  I LIKE SILENCE.  Every night I say to my sex partner SHHH.  Let's make love again.  We must be very quiet.  WE CANNOT MAKE A SOUND.  That's just me, though!  If someone makes a sound we have to start over from the top.  All the way back to the beginning of our relationship?  Yes.  We have to Eternal Sunshine ourselves if someone talks during sex.  We must erase all memory of Current Relationship but also figure out how to Start Over Together.  Oh okay.  Great.  That movie has the Long Island Railroad all over it so how could I NOT like it.  What's wrong with you Michael.  You like Trains above all other factors in that movie?  I was being flippant for a second.  Anyway.  Took a gummy during the show although I wasn't consciously high.  But I had a good time.  So there ya go.  These edibles suck.  They came in a strip.  I had to separate them from each other!  Also, weak!  Not completely pointless.  I get a vague high from them.  Maybe a Runner's High.  Something like that or something.
   Okay.  Great.  Five more paragraphs to go.  Guess that should go decently enough.  I already know what I wanna do tonight!  USE THE BATHROOM.  Exciting!  I guess I have my whole life ahead of me.  Anyway.  DUMB NOISE.  I think I should make some Good Music this weekend.  I'd appreciate that.  Music takes the concept of noise and flips it on itself!  Suddenly Noise Sounds Good when it's happening In Music.  Great.  Let's see that happen.  I FOR ONE CAN'T WAIT.  Okay.  So it's to be like noise but more enjoyable.  Gotcha.  What band should I be emulating.  Don't worry about that.  I'll emulate all the best emu bands.  I'm really into emu bands, I always have been.  Anyway.  I thought I came up with a good Band Name for myself that I liked recently but then I figured out a reason or two why it wasn't perfect.  So now I'm back to Square Zero.  Hmm.  The average person should be able to relate and NOT RELATE to the band name at the same time.  Is that true.  IT MUST BE.  I JUST SAID IT.  Why would Wrong Inspiration strike me.  I dunno.  Happens all the time, though! 
    Huh.  What to TALK ABOUT in my music.  Sure I could write random rhymes that mean little.  OR I could write things that are about My Life.  Do I have to figure out My Life first.  Or is it okay if I figure out My Life while I'm writing the music.  CONCURRENTLY.  That's dumb.  Why would people care about my life.  Because it's funny!  I've got problems and they're a lot like your problems!  Or perhaps very different than your problems!  Either way we've all got problems.  Michael what are your Music Problems.  WELL that's straightforward.  My music problem is figuring out how to make some good song.  I haven't written a good song in years and years.  And I wanna even improve on what I've done in the past!  And my music problem is I dunno how to do that exactly!  ALSO I'm only awake so many hours in the day and I only work on music on the weekends so there's a small window of time for music.  Those are more music problems.  Alright great.  Have I considered changing my schedule to meet my evolving life demands?  No.  No I haven't.
    Three more paragraphs to go.  That's not great news for me.  Three paragraphs to write is pretty insurmountable!  Probably should just give up at this point!  Anyway.  What band on the scene right now should I try to copy.  The Copycats.  They seem to be having good success.  I dunno.  For a couple of years I was listening to all of the latest New Hits in Rock and Alternative music.  Around 2021-2023.  Not before and not after!  IT WAS OKAY.  I didn't get deep into any of the bands.  But I learnt the top of the charts numbers!  INVIGORATING music.  Musta been!  I spent a couple of years on it!  Now I dunno.  I'm not gonna make music that is like the music that they'd give New Tracks In Alt Rock Playlist space to.  Just make music I Think I'd Like For Some Reason.  A Dumb Person Like Me.  That kind of idiot.  Let's start there at least and see what happens.  Hmm.  What else is up.  A little bit of this.  A little bit of that.  I don't know what voice to use when I'm singing.  That's one of twenty main problems I have right now.  Pitch and Timbre and everything.  What am I even supposed to sound like?   
    Yeah!  Sound like whoever you want.  Balls in your court.  You can do things your way.  Alright.  Great. Be A Version Of Myself.  I know that much.  Don't wanna copy someone else.  But that still leaves me with a lot of to think about!  It's tough.  Part of me kinda wants to EMO-LATE some of my favorite guitarists and singers and songwriters to some extent.  AFTER ALL they have influenced me both passively and actively!  But there's a way to do that that's respectful and reasonable and responsible.  And with me still primarily Being My Own New Own Thing.  I GUESS.  JUST DO SOMETHING.  WHATEVER I DO IS GONNA BE PRETTY SHITTY SO NO ONE WILL CONFUSE IT WITH THE WORK OF A GREATER ARTIST.  That's pretty accurate.  So that's good.  Anyway.  Starting to experiment with rhythm sections of me drumming by patting on my knees.  It's really very helpful to the track!  Adds a lot.  So that's good.  Anyway.  Another paragraph coming up!  THEN IT'S OVER.  Then another entry again tomorrow.  THEN THAT ENDS TOO.  Everything Ends.  That's a good philosophy of the universe to work with.  It's as good as any other philosophy I've heard lately I guess.
    Last paragraph.  What other philosophies have been making the rounds.  Do Unto Others.  If It's Brown, Flush It Down.  Stand In The Place Where You Live, Now Face North.  I'll come up with new philosophy in lyrics.  I don't know how or why but I guess I have to.  I know how.  I know why.  Well, great.  We'll see what I come up with.  Okay.  Alright.  Anyway.  SHOULD BE FUN.  I guess.  What the Hell am I gonna talk about in Music if I ever make Real Music.  Permanent Music.  That's a tough one.  How would I relate to the world.  Let's think about it!  I want to make sure I'm making a good impression of myself, I guess.  That's dumb.  Who cares.  I'd probably end up looking more stupider the harder I try to not look stupid!  Cause it is stupid!  A Good Impression Of Myself.  YEP.  Still sounds stupid.  But I think I'm making forward progress at least.  It's true that I don't want to make a bad impression of myself.  It's ACCURATE.  Hmm.  But in general I shouldn't be worrying about Impressing Upon People would be my guess.  I probably should be trying to Rock n Roll or Something And Whatknot.  More or less.  Michael give us some lyrics to think about for the rest of the night.  Okay.  Well. Hmm... My neighbors aren't home/let's listen to music as loud as we want.  I fell into a trapazoid/I am so god damn annoyed.  Hey what's going on in your head/Now it's these words that I just said.  Where do I get my rhyming power/I'll tell you later when I get to know you better.   You know that kind of thing but nothing like that at all and ten thousand times better and good instead of not good.  LET'S ASSUME that's really all I'm capable of.  WHY NOT.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-5:35 P.M.             
     
      

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

So Many Jokes I Can't Even Keep Track

    That's funny.  Anyway, leaving the house in three hours and fourty five minutes!  That's how long I have to write this entry!  I think a couple of entries have taken me longer than that.  Very Rare though.  Just like the company that made Goldeneye 007 the Nintendo 64 Game.  Rare.  That's the studio.  It's a Real Reference.  Not just Absolute Nonsense.  Take my word for that.  Or look it up!  That's the PLUS you get from saying accurate information!  It's backed up based on what you look up.  Anyway.  What else is up.  Anyway.  This is a lot of paragraphs to write.  It's a lot of paragraphs to read.  Sure.  Yeah.  Lotta paragraphs just TO EXIST.  I'm sorry.  What else is going on.  NINE paragraphs left.  Okay.  Why am I yelling.  Room Temperature Volume would be as appropriate as ever.  What does that mean.  Room Temperature Volume.  I'm as confused as I ever was.  I can tell you, it means AN APPROPRIATE Volume.
    Hey.  I'm not doing too well this week!  Ya know.  I got a lot on my mind.  And at the same time I am consumed by craziness.  Craziness.  ONCE SOMETHING IT WAS ALL I WANTED TO BE.  Now something I'M STUCK WITH.  AM I TO BE CRAZY UNTIL MY DYING DAY?  YA KNOW WHAT?  I DON'T THINK SO.  WHAT IF NO.  OR WHAT IF YES?  I DON'T KNOW.  Hmm.  Who knows.  Craziness.  I THINK IT'S STUPID.  Pick a different word, right!  I GUESS I JUST DON'T LIKE IT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN IT SO LONG.  Oh okay.  I'm a weird guy!  Not really.  I'm pretty normal.  I'm the most normal.  I actually wouldn't be abnormal even if everyone else was abnormal!  Even though that would presumably make me normal when you think about it.  That's how normal I am.  THAT I WOULDN'T DO THAT.  Hopefully I will continue to prove my normalness over the course of the rest the entry.  Hmm.  The time for Craziness has passed.  What should we do instead.  I dunno.  Crazy is always in season!  How could that be.  It's got what you want for the winter, it's got what you need for the spring, it's got what you'd like for the summer, and it's got what you desire for the fall.  CRAZY DOES ALL THAT?
    Huh.  Crazy.  I continue to not like the sound of it the more I think about it!  There's nothing wrong with any of it.  And that's why I'm gonna continue doing it for 8 more paragraphs!  Anyway.  I KNOW WHAT TO DO.  I need some sort of Input.  Look at a random page of a book.  Pick a thing out of thin air in my brain.  OKAY.  THAT SOUNDS PRODUCTIVE.  LET'S DO THAT EVERY NOW AND THEN.  Huh.  Stuff From MY BRAIN?  SEEMS REASONABLE.  *Michael instantly checks in on the state of his brain.  Lots of overgrown grass.  Not tended to well.*  OK.  My brain ain't a pretty sight.  It's not so bad.  OUR BRAINS ARE ALL OKAY.  Oh, okay.  Great.  I guess My Brain Is Okay. Some website guy told me so.  MY BRAIN IS BETTER THAN OKAY but let's not split straws.  My brain could beat your brain in a fight.  WHAT KIND OF FIGHT.  The only kind of fight there is that would stimulate the brain... Headbutting Competition!  YEAH HEADBUTT COMPETITION.  Anyway.  WHO WANTS TO GO OVER THE RULES FOR HEADBUTTING COMPETITION.  Rule one keep it above the neck. 
   Maybe that's the only rule.  Maybe anything and everything goes in this competition.  MAYBE...  Anyway.  What else is up.  HEADBUTT is the opposite of BUTTHEAD.  Ok.  Seven paragraphs to go.  How much time do I have left at this point?  What's it to you.  You wanna know when I get off work.  You're gonna ask me out on a date?  Probably not!  But anyway I got 2 hours and 15 minutes left!  Wow.  What should we joke about next.  Let's see.  I got stuff on my mind!  I've been thinking about music more seriously.  I know I'm not good NOW but I see myself getting better and think maybe I can get exponentially better if I'm lucky.  And if I'm 800x better, wouldn't that be a nice thing?  HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.  How can one man become EIGHT HUNDRED TIMES BETTER.  Well if he drinks a wizard's potion or takes a special pill.  Oh okay.  MAYBE HE SIGNS A DEAL WITH A MAGIC MAN.  I dunno how these things work!  I honestly don't see how any of that is necessary.  I think I can become 800x better JUST BY BEING MYSELF!  That could work too. 
    Fifth paragraph!  Anyway.  I wouldn't count on becoming 800x better through any course of action!  I'll count on whatever I want.  Fingers.  Abacus.  Why would I let you tell me what I can and can't count on?!  Huh.  I FIGURE NO ONE WILL READ THAT JOKE.  TUCKED AWAY IN A CORNER OF THE ENTRY NO ONE WILL EVER BE.  WE'RE SAFE.  Oh no.  Everyone saw it.  Count on Fingers and Abacus.  Well.  That's okay.  Everyone knows I'm not good at comedy right now.  Damnit.  BUT I'M GONNA COUNT ON GETTING Eighty Thousand Percent Better AT IMPROV NOW.  That number.  I dunno.  I don't wanna see Michael 800x better at improv.  HOW MUCH BETTER AT IMPROV SHOULD I BE THEN?  Hmm.. wait there..  Be 56x better at Improv.  OK.  I HEAR THAT.  Right?  Whatever you say!  I'll give it a shot presumably.  So that's good.  AMAZING.  Been dilly-dallying a bit and now I only have an hour and fourty five minutes left to write 5+ paragraphs!  I don't know if I'm capable of writing all those paragraphs in that short amount of time!  Probably four at least.
   Fifty Six Times Better at improv.  I don't know.  Should I THINK about what that means and then try to achieve it.  Or should I just be like, "Okay, I think I can figure that one out.  I got this."  PROBABLY THAT SECOND ONE.  On account of it's bull crap to begin with.  Maybe you thought seriously when I gave me the number 56x Better to achieve.  MAYBE YOU REALLY WANNA SEE ME DO 56x BETTER!  Huh.  I Dunno.  For a second it seemed like a goal I really wanted to structure my life around.  But then I realized it was something not entirely important to my actual future.  A joke!  That's all!  Okay.  I like jokes.  I've liked jokes pretty much as far back as I can remember.  My earliest memories involve jokes and comedy and humor!  Huh.  Laughing around with my friends.  They weren't all Happy Days though.  Sometimes things got serious.  Why I remember a moment from my childhood involving Halloween Costumes.  I wore a costume of a skeleton.  That is apparently some sort of recollection in my brain.  OH NO.  You can't wear that on Halloween.  That's what the Karate Kid villains wore.  What kind of message was I sending when I was eight and wore a skeleton t-shirt!  WHO'S SIDE AM I EVEN ON.
   Seventh paragraph.  Karate Kid.  And Miyagido.  I just thought this was a neat simple costume!  Anyway.  SKELETONS SUCK no matter who they are when it's not Halloween.  Good point.  What kind of monsters are Good People.  I wanna know who to aspire to be This Year.  WEAR A MASK.  As long as you do that YOU SHOULD BE FINE.  I wish wearing a mask was more socially acceptable on an Every Day basis.  I think I'd get more smiles and head nods.  People would be nicer to me in the street!  Anyway.  Probably shouldn't want to wear a mask every day unless it's the mask from The Mask.  I'd wear that ALL THE TIME if I Had it.  Or I could just do a lot of cocaine.  That'll get you halfway there.  Pretty good real world solution because The Mask doesn't actually exist in real life.  Anyway.  I'd probably re-watch that movie if it was available to me.  It's an IMPORTANT MOVIE.  It means a lot to me.  I haven't thought about it in at least ten years but now that I do, great.  I like the part where he's Stanley Ipkiss!  GOOD FOR THEM.
    Three paragraphs to go.  Time to check in with everyone I think.  EVERYONE OUT THERE doing okay?  YEAH.  WE'RE DOING GREAT.  THIS IS GOING WONDERFULLY.  I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO CONTINUE.  So that's good.  We're all doing great apparently.  Wow.  I guess I'm ON MY GAME today!  YEAH.  I MUST HAVE PUT DEODORANT ON OR SOMETHING.  Cause I've just got some sort of Raw Animal Magnetism today, I dunno!  No I haven't bathed since Sunday.  Can't be that.  Anyway.  Haven't shaved in a few days.  Yet I'm presenting myself in public.  That's okay!  I don't think the time-space continuum is gonna break down because I haven't shaved in a few days.  People will understand looking at a face of light stubble! Nobody gonna give much of a crap.  That's good news I guess.  I wonder what I will eat for dinner with my brother beforehand.  There's a Subway nearby.  I doubt I'll actually pitch Subway to my brother.  You can't suggest Subway when you're considering lunch or dinner with your friends!  People will think you've gone mad!  I'd enjoy it tonight, though.  Probably get chicken teriyaki sandwich.  That's what I'd eat for dinner.           
    Penultimate paragraph probably.  That's a lot of, "P's."  So it goes.  OK.  Lost track of what I was talking about.  Probably something slightly more intelligent than whatever I'm thinking about now.  I'm just getting dumber as time moves on.  YEAH.  THAT SEEMS TO BE LIKE HOW THINGS ARE GOING, SOMETIMES.  Whatever.  Gotta keep writing.  I don't think I have time to proof read this and post it to the internet before I leave!  Gonna have to post it later tonight when I get home!  Sorry in retrospect if that effects people!  I don't know.  What kind of world do we live in.  Kinda world where the entry is posted later than usual sometimes.  HEY I don't love this situation either. I WISH you could read this AS I'M TYPING IT.  Word for word!  Like you're reading things practically even before I'm gonna say them!  But the world don't work that way!  I gotta write the crap out first and then you read it all the way later!  TIME WREAKS IT'S HAVOC ON US ALL.  Okay.  I guess.  I think I hear ya.  Starting to make some sense.  What's the point again.  I'LL POINT YOU.  Whatever.  One more paragraph to go.  Got let's say twenty minutes to write it.  Let's go.
    OK.  Well, anyway.  I guess!  What does my ideal paragraph include.  Well it wouldn't happen here.  It'd probably take place IN SPACE.  Maybe amongst ASTRONAUTS.  I like it when they're floating right outside the rocket ship.  Not inside it, but tethered to it RIGHT OUTSIDE.  I don't know what that means.  It's tough to psychoanalyze.  I guess.  Tomorrow I start over again.  I like things.  Comedyblog.  DOING MUSIC has soured me on comedycentric thinking.  And doing comedy makes me question Music.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  I'M CONFUSED.  NOT A FAN.  But the good news is I'll just keep doing whatever I'm doing and we'll see what happens.  I don't like those odds.  I GET TO MEET UP WITH MY BROTHER tonight.  I like him.  He's like me!  But different.  Now that I think about it he's pretty different.  What does, "Like Me," even mean.  Who Am I.  I don't know that either.  I'm Like My Brother But Different.  That's who I am!  Sounds like I have a pretty strong sense of self.  Good.  I'm gonna need that where I'm going!  Where am I going.  THE FINAL FRONTIER.  SPACE.  Sweet.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-5:17 P.M.   
    

Monday, January 27, 2025

It Means Whatever You Want It To Mean

    Okay.  Hey!  Another week.  You know what that means!  I DO?  Probably!  You know what everything I say means!  Considerably more than the amount that I know what it means.  Anyway.  Gonna go see an Improvisation Show tomorrow night with my brother.  Relevant Show to my class.  It's the HAROLD method.  It's a specific form of Improv that's also The Name Of My Dad.  Is that Relevant To Report Upfront?  Possibly not.  Anyway maybe I run into some classmates!  Great!  Class on Sunday went pretty well.  I did good at points and I fucked the pooch in several scenes but I got several compliments here and there saying I was good.  FUCK COMPLIMENTS.  They make you feel good in the moment.  Hey you're really good at this or Hey You're really funny.  It's good at first but then it makes me feel weird and awkward and bad and IN PAIN within minutes.  Can't explain it!  Partially it's just I Don't Believe Them.  Half of me honestly thinks they have some ulterior motive in saying nice things.  Just trying to TRICK ME or something!  And half of it is just Mixed Up Psychology where I Process Emotions Poorly.  I dunno.  The good news is that was yesterday.  I FORGET EVERYTHING I FELT YESTERDAY.  Who cares at this point.  I CARE.  In THEORY.
    I made some music this weekend.  It was okay!  I progressed a little and I regressed a little but overall I guess that's Moving Forward Enough.  This weekend I'd like to see me work on Actual Song but who knows.  I should try working on Lyrics during Week.  That's a good idea!  Isn't impossible.  Just during the evening when I'm Half Thinking About Things, put those quarter-ideas into rhymes and write them down.  Not the hardest thing in the world.  Even just one line phrases are good enough.  That's productive!  If I accumulate one line phrases THAT'S PROGRESS for Song Writing, too!  I'll come up with the rhymes for the one liners when I'm doing the song itself.  Bing Bang Boom.  We did a SingingRhyming warm-up game in Improv Class and I knew I was gonna blow my chances at it!  This was my one chance to showcase my specific set of skills but I knew I would blow it!  And it's true!  That's what happened!  Anyway.  I don't like the rhythm the game revolves around.  We pat our thighs and to, "Ba-dum-bum-bum," to the beat after each rhyme.  I don't LIKE the beat we work to this music The Game Revolves Around.  Is that intentional we're doing a crappy beat.  Are they setting us up for failure.  Anyway.  I'm glad I messed up this game!  Improv is perhaps at best a lesson in humility!  AT WORST a way to make a living.  AT HALFWAY a good way to meet people.
   Great!  Got lots of lessons in Humility over the course of three hours.  Probably like EIGHT.  I wasn't counting.  Coulda been just a constant nonstop humiliating experience from waking up in the morning to getting home at night!  Anyway. Looking forward to see Timothee Chalamet do Bob Dylan on SNL.  Still haven't seen The Episode Previous with Dave Chappelle either.  I'm a little bit Behind!  Lots of SNL Documentaries and whatknot going on.  And that Major Motion Dramatic picture that came out a few months ago!  I guess it's the 50th anniversary of when they first discovered Saturday Night Live.  Wow. Fifty.  I feel Actually Worse at Coming Up With Comedy after doing Bad Improv And Being Praised For It yesterday.  POSSIBLY PERMANENTLY.  I dunno.  I think I got plenty of time to Get Better.  Probably'll take like a paragraph or two.  Please give me a minute!  I'll get there!  Maybe it's cause I spent Weekend working at music.  That made me worse at comedy!  Oh.  That makes sense, too.  Can't be Musical And Comedic at the same time!  We can probably EASILY be music and comedy at the same time.  Oh okay great lemme give that a shot for a minute.
    WHAT THE... FUCK?  I just realized someone at Starbucks wrote on my Cold Brew in Magic Marker, "Blessings You'r Way."  (With the misused apostrophe)  I almost didn't even notice it!  Anyway, my first instinct was to be insulted for some reason!  DON'T TELL ME ABOUT GETTING BLESSED Don't worry about My Life worry about YOUR LIFE Okay?  My second instinct is That's a nice thing to say but I hope they're not microtargetting me for blessings and are saying this to everybody or at least all regulars or whatever.  Cause I don't want or need or deserve blessings.  My third instinct is great, Blessings, What am I supposed TO DO with them.  My life is cluttered enough as it is!  Now I got Blessings?  I guess I'll find a place for them SOMEWHERE!  My fourth instinct is Great now I gotta offer THEM blessings!  Well, anyway.  What else is up.  Gonna have to ask the person at Starbucks tomorrow what their intention was at least.  Just leave it alone.  Talking about it'll only encourage them to write on cups more.  Maybe this is how we'll communicate Secret Codes to each other during Fascism.  Notes on Iced Coffee.  Hmm.  PROBABLY shouldn't have just given that away.  Well we're amongst friends.  You guys should be aware of this!  You're gonna wanna participate in this!  We're passing notes to each other through Coffees!
   Okay.  Great.  What else is going on.  Briefly wondered what it'd be like if I told Improv Classmates about the website.  That would influence HOW I WRITE.  OH NO.  HOW I WRITE.  THAT'S SPECIAL.  Wouldn't wanna disrupt that!  I'd adjust eventually I guess!  One way or another.  I haven't told anybody.  But it's probably The Move to tell people, though!  PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW.  I'M A GUY INTO COMEDY AND THE ARTS AND I WRITE A WEIRD AND FUNNY WEBSITE.  So if you don't know about it yet, get on over here and continue reading!  I don't like the sound of that.  The logic to it doesn't add up at all.  Hmm.  Improv Class is going well.  I don't think it's taking me anywhere any more than other improv classes I've taken.  But it feels productive in the moment!  I guess I'm getting better at Improv.  But when you think about it, I'm probably not going to go into Improvisational Comedy!  HUH.  I'm gonna be honest-- I haven't been thinking about it THAT ACCURATE CORRECT WAY.  I've been thinking Comedy is Comedy.  Improv is Part Of Comedy.  What's The ISSUE.
    Halfway through the entry.  OK.  Five paragraphs to write!  Don't worry about it.  It's fun.  I'll have a good time doing the paragraphs.  SOMEHOW.  I don't see how I'm supposed to be chipper today.  I'm in an unhappy mood.  ALL I KNOW is that there's paragraphs that need to be written and NO ONE ELSE is gonna do it.  Great.  I'll do it.  Who said that!  WHO DARED suggest They'd Write My Monday Six Thru Ten.  I did.  WHO ARE YOU.  SPEAK UP.  I'm You Version xx8.  OKAY.  A version of me?  GREAT.  YOU GOT THE PART.  Anyway.  What else is up.  CHIPPER makes me think of Chipper Jones which makes me think of The Jones Brothers which is a Parody Band that I once conceived of.  I dunno if I wanted it to be a Joke Band.  I think I wanted it to be a real band.  But with a Joke Band Title.  It's a play on, "The Jonas Brothers."  It was very funny at the time when I came up with it.  FOR A SECOND.  The universe existed for MOST OF THE TIME without it being funny.  But for A MOMENT I enjoyed it.  So that's good.  Maybe one day it'll make a comeback.  And I will find it funny again.  I DON'T LIKE THE IMPLICATIONS.  Also what if The Jonas Bros hear it and are offended.  You're right.  I need to think of a Nonsense Joke that has LOWER STAKES.
    Seventh paragraph.  I guess I'd say that The Jones Brothers AT BEST would just never have a place in The Music Business.  That's, "At Best?"  Oh.  OK.  ANYWAY.  WHY NOT?  THEY PARTY TOO MUCH FOR ONE.  Second of all we can only assume they're incompetent and lazy.  Thirdly, Nobody Likes The Way They Sound.  HUH?  WRONG.  More like Thirdly, ...But you can't argue with the way they sound!  That's one way to go with it.  GO WITH WHAT.  Yeah.  Exactly!  I DUNNO.  Gonna have to start writing website earlier than usual tomorrow.  So I can go to the improv show in the evening.  How will it go?  I'll do an edible!  Then we'll see what's what.  WHAT'S WHAT?  I'M GONNA SEE WHAT'S WHAT?  I CAN'T WAIT.  I'VE BEEN WONDERING WHAT'S WHAT FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.  I'M FINDING OUT TOMORROW, HUH.  THIS SHOULD BE FUN!  It sounds overenthusiastic because it is!  I AM over-enthusiastic about it.  THAT'S HOW PUMPED I AM TO SEE THIS SHOW.  What are the groups performing.  FKA DEB and The Prophesy.  Which is interesting because The Prophesy is the title to one of the songs I considered to use as an outro for MY OWN hypothetical Improv Troupe Show.  THAT'S THE NAME OF THE SONG.  IT'S BANGIN. 
    Three paragraphs to go.  Hmm.  Lots of fun stuff going on in the world outside my window.  I just hear weird noises.  I don't even know what they represent.  Just Very Strange Things.  That doesn't happen constantly!  Just some of the time!  WOW.  SOUNDS LIKE I'M LIVING THE DREAM.  In a sense that's true.  What else is going on.  What's gonna make people laugh for two and a half paragraphs.  What's in the news today that's comical.  Well if they put it in the teleprompter in Comic Sans that'd be pretty funny.  What if newscasters had to suck in Helium Balloon before reading the news.  Or how about if something happened that just the mere facts and truths of it brought laughs of joy to our mouths and faces!  I dunno.  None of that sounds like it's gonna happen any time soon.  We can write things in Comic Sans for ourselves.  We can look to see if Helium Balloons are in stock where we live and then talk a lot.  We can do FunnyJoyInducingNewsWorthyStories.  I guess there's lots of stuff we can be doing!  I don't wanna do anything like that.  What the Hell are you even talking about.  Interesting counterpoint.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Look!  I'm almost done!  YOU'RE NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH.  Or you're looking too hard!  I DUNNO!  I got lots of other Outro Songs stored up in my brain.  I don't mind this one option being taken away from me.  I'll adjust mentally pretty easily I think!  Now I have it narrowed down a bit more.  Can only be helpful.  Great.  ANYWAY.  WHAT KINDA IMPROV FOR THE NEXT TWO PARAGRAPHS.  MR IMPROV.  Well I really think of things more in terms of, "Sentences," rather than Improv but I guess let's see.  Gotta write a bunch of SENTENCES.  What's my SENTENCE for the next paragraph and a half.  Makes sense.  Make them up.  Ok.  ALL I KNOW is that I'm gonna be heavily influenced by extraconcious things.  SO WHO REALLY CARES WHAT I SAY.  If I wanted to read things written by Things Extraconcious Of Michael I'd read Things Written By People Other Than Michael.  I'm here for that Michael Point Of View.  OH ME TOO I HEAR HE COMES HERE SOMETIMES. Whatever.  WHO IS Michael when it comes down to it.  I'M HIM. Well there but for the Grace Of God go I.  YEAH BUT I AM HIM.  REALLY.  Anyway.  That's good.  I doubt that's really Me.
   Last paragraph!  It's only Monday.  There's lots left to write.  And I'm in the mood to let a lot of people down this week!  What the Hell.  I don't wanna commit to that.  I wanna do Good.  LET'S SEE.  I don't know.  What do I want to say.  Lemme think.  Commentary On The News is always a popular Joke Structure in times where It's Socially Allowed.  And Legal.  And Won't Get Me Cancelled.  What's my commentary on the news.  I'm AGAINST IT.  Probably should come up with something deeper.  What's a more intricate perspective on a specific news story that I might have.  I JUST HATE ALL OF IT.  That's how I feel.  Great.  It's funny and relatable!  News Critic is a character that I'll have to remember to do in future scenes!  I wonder how that character will grow after the first fifteen seconds.  Only one way to find out!  Throw him into different situations!  See how he reacts!  Hmm.  Well,  I guess that's it for today.  I'll see ya tomorrow I guess.  Me.  You.  Everyone Else.  You.  Other People.  You.  Me.  You.  Wow!  See ya!

-5:39 P.M.   

Thursday, January 23, 2025

I Have No Idea What People Get Out Of This

    Yeah!  Anyway, last entry of the week.  Breathe in!  Breathe out!  Step by step.  One day at a time.  I gotta start planning mentally for music creation this weekend.  I don't know how to do it consciously but hopefully my subconscious is hard at work setting me up to succeed!  That'd be weird.  My experience is that my subconscious is usually trying to sabotage me.  Huh.  Anyway.  Improv Class on Sunday, too!  Hopefully that goes well.  AGAIN, it's not in my hands!  That's more in The Universe's Hands than my subconscious.  Maybe my subconscious is part of the universe.  Tangibly that seems pretty factual!  Why would my Subconscious want to sabotage me in the first place!  It's upset it's not my Superconcious.  Feels self conscious about being sub-ANYTHING.  WELL ANYWAY it looks like I Got Low Vitamin D.  Lab results are back from my Doctor's Appointment.  My Vitamin D levels are slightly low!  What does that mean.  They got lazy when they were naming Vitamins.  Couldn't come up with unique names.  Just started doling out LETTERS.  Vitamins A through Z.  What's wrong with you people.  
   That's the Orange Juice one, right?  Vitamin D.  Or is it the Sunlight one.  Huh.  Different levels of consciousness.  Letters.  Orange Juice.  I'M STARTING to get some Building Blocks for what to think about during music.  I don't want any music inspired by orange juice.  This is gonna be a hard pass from me.  WHO SAID THAT.  WHY.  Anyway.  Moving on.  Quentin Tarantino originally wrote Pulp Fiction based off a carton of Orange Juice he bought that didn't have as much Pulp as he expected.  It said Pulp on the carton but there in actuality was very little.  And it ticked him off.  I'm gonna have to remember to never say that one to anyone ever again.  OR I could just Forget It.  Forgetting the entire thing serves the same purpose as Remembering To Not Repeat It!  OR I could come up with a Superior Pulp Fiction joke.  That would take it's place in my mind...  Okay.  I think I figured out what's in the Mystical Briefcase in Pulp Fiction.  Ok.  Great.  What is it.  But before I say it, remember, the joke I say now WILL GO ON MY PERMANENT RECORD.  Oh no.  Nevermind then.  I'm just gonna shut my mouth in that case.
   The thing in the briefcase WAS TEH FRIENDS WE MADE ALONG THE WAY.  It's not the funniest joke.  But it was how I felt at the time!  I don't feel that way anymore.  What joke would I make NOW.  Hmm.  I get a second pass at it huh.  I'd rather just move on with the entry I think.  Ugh.  I got a Double Delivery tomorrow.  Supermarket in the morning.  Other Supermarket at night.  Is it normal?  I dunno!  That's the way my family does things!  Why is, "Normal," the main question I have about it.  Of all the ways I should be questioning that supermarket delivery lifestyle.  IS IT NORMAL is the first instinct I have.  Who Cares.  Always worked out in the past!  Except for how I'm always unloading groceries day and night.  Is it normal.  WHAT EVEN IS NORMAL.  Those things that are going on all the time for everybody else except for me.  I dunno what I'm referring to exactly!  Well yeah because I'm abnormal.  Oh.  Thanks!  The more I think about it the less of a nice thing that feels like to be called.  At first it was okay.  It's like, "Normal," plus, "AB!"  "A," AND, "B."  BOTH GOOD LETTERS.  But when you look at The Human's Definition to the word Kind of a negative thing.
   Fourth paragraph!  Sure.  I think so.  LOOK.  WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT TODAY!  Nothing yet.  WHAT WILL I TALK ABOUT.  You just hold on.  ANYWAY.  I like it better when I Write For Myself.  Sometimes I get lost in Different Imaginary Audiences.  People In My Head.  Which one am I talking to now?  Kind of myself at this very moment.  But it's tough.  It's a CACOPHONY in here.  Michael is impressed that Michael knew the word Cacophony because Michael is incredibly dumb.  AH CRAP. Everyone's still here.  Even more people than before!  It's alright.  Suddenly, it's just me again.  CRAP.  Now it's you!  It's okay.  I'm okay.  I just need to write 6 more paragraphs.  Okay.  Six More Paragraphs.  Paragraphs.  Let's look at that word.  PARA-GRAPH.  I think it's interesting.  I'm good at Typing.  Who am I.  I'm not Abnormal.  I'm something else.  Something Worse.  ANYWAY.  What else is up.  I dunno.  That was an interesting riff.  I lost track of what I was talking about.  IF YOU KNOW please e-mail me!
   Fifth paragraph.  That's a good place to start.  I just wrote four paragraphs.  Yeah but I completely forgot what happened in them.  Okay.  I dunno.  I think I remember a good deal of them.  WOW.  YOU MUST BE A GENIUS THEN.  CAUSE I CAN'T RECALL A THING.  I dunno about any of this.  I THINK THAT.  What do you think exactly.  TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.  Okay, whatever.  I gotta take a breath.  Re-start writing again.  Be My Own Persona.  Instead of other people.  WHICH ME THOUGH.  Yes.  Which Me INdeed.  Okay.  Hmm.  No.  ONE ME is probably enough.  That's probably all it takes to get things done!  I dunno.  Multiple Me's might be interesting.  IT COULD WORK.  You have to believe me!  I'd LOVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH ANYONE WHO'S ME OUT THERE.  I guess that makes sense.  I guess... a little bit.  I get it.  No one wants to be friends with the Crazy guy.  Whatever.  I don't know if I should tell you this but not only am I Crazy, but I've also been Sheet for the last 18 months.  Ugh.  I guess we're close to halfway through the entry.  That's good.  Cause I'm Halfway Through with YOU.  Good cause I'm halfway through with YOU.  So together we are whole.
   Halfway through the entry!  Yeah.  It's exciting!  I'm gonna do my best with the weekend and everything.  We'll see!  Michael what will you accomplish this weekend.  DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!  You're gonna work on some music at least though, right?  YEAH.  Chord after chord.  Vocal Track after Vocal Track.  I'll smash all of them.  Good.  So I'm going in with a plan.  Great.  How would you have me approach making music?  Anyway.  Should I use my YAMAHA KEYBOARD this weekend at all?  Some nice keyboard RIFFS could be fun.  If they're in an interesting VOICE.  Speaking of voices, I might start making a concentrated effort to Talk In My Own Voice moving forward.  I DON'T KNOW WHO SAID THAT.  Look, it'd be GREAT to talk in my own voice!  Lemme try doing that starting soon.  OK.  Good.  WHAT AM I GONNA DO THIS WEEKEND?  MUSIC!  AND HOW AM I GONNA DO IT?  MUSIC!  I'm not feeling musical enough!  SELL ME MUSIC MORE.  Hmm.  Okay.  Music.  C#.  What do you want me to do, type out Tablature?  I'm not gonna do that right now.  Gimme some lyrics.  You know I can't do music in front of people yet.
    Maybe one day I'll be able to spit rhymes in public/but for now it's not something that I feel comfortable doing in public.  Anyway.  That's fun.  Is my room in my house considered Public.  Cause my parents live very closeby.  So me doing songs for recording, you could argue that's In Public, cause at least THEY'RE bound to hear me here and there.    Cool.  Maybe my parents are my target audience.  What kind of power chords does My Mom like.  Does my Dad even like music.  I gotta figure out what these people WANT to hear.  Is that true?  Maybe.  Could be a partial truth like practically everything else I say.  Hmm.  Let's see.  I'm scared.  What if I can't do it.  Well then life goes on.  I'll see ya on Monday.  Oh okay we'll see.  Maybe I don't show up on Monday.  WHY BOTHER because I just wrote the greatest songs of all time!  Anyway.  I guess that's one way things might go.  Just gotta write at least 2 or 3 of the greatest songs of all time!  Don't need to be TOP TEN greatest.  Top Thousand Greatest would be Great.  Michael wouldn't you be happy with Writing Songs In The Top Hundred Thousand Greatest.  Why is everyone always telling me to settle!  FIRST IT'S THE SETTLERS OF CATAN.  THEN IT'S YOU.
   Eighth paragraph.  SING A SONG they said.  PLAY GUITAR why don't you.  I'll get to it tomorrow afternoon!  I suppose.  Could Makes Sense!  ALRIGHT.  LET'S JUST FINISH THIS.  Three paragraphs to go.  I could see myself enjoying them.  One at a time.  This paragraph is about... let's spin the Wheel Of Topics in my mind...  This paragraph is about Things That Go Hump In The Night.  Yesterday was looking at a sign that said Speed Hump instead of Speed Bump.  We've all driven over Speed Bumps time and time again but this was a Speed Hump!  Essentially served the same purpose but something about it seemed a bit off.  I can report back though that the car and driver and passenger are all no worse for wear!  Won't have to go through it again!  Endocrinologist is moving to another building!  That might be the end of Speed Humps for me!  Probably.  I guess.  What else is up.  They're there for a reason.  Because someone didn't know how to spell, "Bump!"  So that's good.  What are some other ways they could get that wrong.  Speed Mound.  Speed Hill.  I dunno. 
   Alright.  So what.  Two paragraphs.  I can do it.  Just put me in front of a keyboard.  My fingers'll do the talking.  Knock some words out like it was nothing!  IT IS NOTHING.  Oh no, really?  FEELS LIKE IT.  THAT'S OKAY I'M GONNA BE GOOD TOMORROW.  Nothing Today Brings Brighter Tomorrows.  You guys know that old children's rhyme.  That's not a rhyme.  Anyway.  It's OKAY!  Sometimes things are things... sometimes things are nothing!  That's the nature of things.  I know about the nature of things.  I did MUSHROOMS IN A PARK.  Don't tell me about nature.  I've experienced mental illness.  I've been on THE FRONT LINES of figuring out The Hidden Order Of Things.  I think I have a pretty good idea of how the world works!  Michael has no idea what's going on right now.  Anyway.  Maybe I'll figure it out through Rock and Roll music.  Well I'm not gonna lie to you I'll probably come up with some Truths but will they be Absolute Truths I cannot say probably not.
   Last paragraph.  Let's see.  I dunno.  Paragraph Ten.  Ten!  Wonderful.  IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE NUMBERS.  Not consciously.  Not subconsciously.  Maybe in my ID.  Who knows.  I ALREADY MADE IT TO DOUBLE DIGITS I GUESS that's how I feel about the number ten.  What else is up.  Started watching some Little League Drama about Coach Luke Wilson getting cancer last night.  Not sure if I can follow through with the rest of it.  Too heavy!  Greg Kinnear is in it playing someone considerably older than Greg Kinnear.  I think.  That's how it seemed to me.  Hmm.  Would I rather get started on finishing Community?  I dunno.  What happens when Community is gone.  I go back to 30 Rock.  And what happens when 30 Rock is gone.  Then we can go to Frasier.  I don't like Frasier.  Well, then we'll go to some Frasier Alternative, don't worry about it!  OKAY GREAT EVERYBODY THANKS THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR TODAY.  See ya next week!  AS ALWAYS THANKS TO everybody who contributed along the way.  Couldn't have done it without you guys.  Maybe I could have.  REALLY?  I COULD HAVE DONE ALL THIS MYSELF?  I dunno.  Probably not.  I coulda done differently, though!  AND philosophy tell us Different Is Probably Better.  What's so great about Different.  Because IT'S DIFFERENT.  What isn't translating.  Anyway.  That's all I got for now.  I'll see ya later.

-6:46 P.M.

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Why Should I Read The Entry When I Don't Even Like The Title

    I DON'T LIKE THAT ATTITUDE.  Anyway.  I'm gonna write half this entry now.  Then take a Doctor Break.  Then come back and write the second half!  Let's see.  Not gonna drink any beer or smoke any marijuana on the off chance it'd mess with any possible test results!  Great.  So far not so good.  I'm just Typing Things.  People are trying to Latch Onto Something to get into the groove.  And it's tough.  Because I'm showing NO REGARD for The Reader's Experience.  What has The Reader ever done for me. Practically nothing!  Why would I consciously care about The Reader.  Anyway.  Obviously I want this to be readable. Obviously that's priority number one!  Well, three or four, at the lowest!  How are you doing.  Reader.  HUH.  We're doing fine.  Let's do a Top Ten list of Michael's Priorities for this website.  We can do it David Letterman style.  We can do it Family Feud style.  We can do it High Fidelity style.  You gotta be HIGH if you're into fidelity is my feeling.  I'm getting DIFFERENT CHICKS Every Night.  Anyway.  I miss drinking and marijuana a lot.  
   I guess.  Presumably I'm trying to work on music this weekend.  I'd say there's a 25% chance I keep making Forward Progress.  50% chance I regress.  25% chance I stay at the level I was at last weekend.  All depends on my mindset.  How can I set my mindset.  I dunno.  Work on music!  It's a self-fulfilling prophesy if I'm good at it enough???  So the question is if I'm talented enough.  Yeah.  OK.  I don't think I've played my keyboard since the night I got it but it's been helpful to me nonetheless.  Just it's presence has been an inspiration to me!  If Michael has THIS KIND OF THING in his room imagine what kind of guitarring he's capable of.  That sort of Brainwork.  I guess that could work.  Sounds stupid but people ARE stupid.  So sometimes stupid logic WORKS.  I don't think people are stupid.  I know I'm stupid.  So SOME people are stupid.  Logically I know I must not be alone!  But there's probably lots of smart people, too!  HMM.  How can I make music that both Smart and Stupid would BOTH enjoy.
    My first thought is DON'T ALIENATE THE STUPIDS.  If we start saying things Too Smart THE STUPIDS TUNE OUT.  But that alienates the smarts.  THE SMARTS GET NOTHING OUT OF THE CONTENT TAILORED FOR THE STUPIDS.  Okay.  Good.  What if we made Stupids Smarter.  I dunno.  Either way.  I'll do some music this weekend.  Should I try to Muck Around Some More.  Or try to start writing some Real Songs.  Still might be stuck in Muck Around Mode!  We'll see.  All I can do is what I'm capable of at the time.  IT'S GREAT.  I MAKE FORWARD PROGRESS 25% OF THE TIME.  I think I can work on those odds.  If I try harder we can see to it that I make Forward Progress More Of A Likelihood!  ANYWAY.  PLUS YOU'RE ALONG FOR THE RIDE.  THAT'S FUN.  This entry is a SNOOZE.  But so is the first three hours of my day each day.  Just keep waking up.  And then going back to bed.  And quite literally adjusting the alarm clock on my phone.  SO IT'S RELATABLE.  Huh.
   I MAKE ROCK MUSIC.  FOR PEOPLE WHO SNOOZE EACH MORNING.  Anyway.  When I do I get to stop talking about My Life.  Talking about My Life is always terrible.  I hate it when that happens.  Well what else is going on in the world.  EVERYTHING ELSE.  Okay.  Great.  Lemme think about that.  Well.  I dunno.  You're gonna have to be more specific.  I don't know.  I guess we can start off with... hmm... I dunno.  WHERE SHOULD WE BEGIN.  What are they talking about on the TV downstairs.  What are they talking about on the radio in my parents bedroom.  What are they talking about in the backyard outside.  What are they talking about in the International Space Station up above.  I dunno.  International Space Station is actually kinda EXTRANATIONAL.  We're not even On The Map anymore.  BEYOND Nations, not INTRA Nations.  I'm kind of an English Language expert I LITERALLY HAVE A DEGREE IN ENGLISH!  Let's talk about Trump withdrawing the US from The WHO and Paris Climate Accord.  Cause who cares about Health and Climate!  Also how come!  Also why is it allowed!  Also why no pushback!  ALSO ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT.  I would bet most people don't even KNOW it happened!  That's the kind of thing you know is bad just by reading the headline!
    Anyway.  Fifth paragraph.  OK GREAT.  I guess I should try to start writing ACTUAL SONGS.  Start with the title.  You can tell if a song is gonna be good just by reading the title sometimes!  That sounds inaccurate.  Fair enough!  I dunno what I'll do musicwise!  I'LL WORK ON IT!  Huh.  I should have joined Classmates to watch Improv last night.  They planned it in Groupchat.  I could have gone!  Ah well.  Maybe I'll get another chance before the class ends.  I dunno.  Are my classmates Stupids or Smarts.  I really don't know!  Sometimes they seem really stupid but they also seem a lot smarter than me.  I guess those descriptions aren't necessarily mutually exclusive!  So that's good.  WHATEVER.  Probably a mix of Smarts Playing Stupids and Stupids Playing Smarts.  But which are which!  I DON'T KNOW!  I don't think any of them are STUPID.  At the very least they wear Glasses.  You know that sort of thing.  I guess.  Gotta leave in about an hour.  I'll keep writing for now.  Who cares.  Idiots!  Morons!  The Asinine! 
    Okay.  Great.  Gonna write one or two more paragraphs!  Anyway.  I guess I am looking forward to Whatever.  Doing Music.  Okay.  When I was a sophomore in college I once rented out a rehearsal room somewhere for 2 or 3 hours with two dozen different instruments including a full drum set and a piano and a bunch of amps and everything for three figures FOR NO REASON.  I was just by myself!  I didn't need to make use of any of it really! It was just me and my guitar.  I think I even brought my own amp!  But I went and brought my 8 Track and recorded some music there.  Maybe recording in that room is better than recording elsewhere acoustically?  I DID hit the drums a tiny bit but I didn't even really explore messing around with the drums as much as I should have!  Anyway.  It was fun!  I remember it gave me something to look forward to when I was planning it out and then I had a good time while I was there and then I enjoyed the tracks I recorded there in retrospect!  So it worked out overall!  THAT STORY SUCKED.  There's no drama. There's no action.  Nothing HAPPENED.  I guess you had to be there.
   NO.  I DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THERE.  Anyway.  I took music very very seriously at that point in my life!  And this excursion was going to be a key moment in My Musical Progression!  I was gonna record Important Demos of Songs Of Mine there!  Didn't exactly pan out that way but that was what was going on in my head!  Fine whatever I still don't care.  That's cool!  Anyway.  There's a story from my life.  Apparently it's possible to come up with Memories!  Anyway.  Six strings to a guitar.  How many guitars to a barrel.  How many barrels to a bushel.  How many bushels to a garageful.  Huh.  It's possible I remember the person who operated the rehearsal space saying I Sounded Good.  I remember SOMEONE saying I SOUNDED GOOD at some point.  MIGHT HAVE BEEN THEM.  Anyway.  I guess I'm leaving in fifteen minutes.  Gotta wrap up this paragraph.  Jeez.  Gotta chicken pot pie in store for tonight!  THAT'S GOOD.  I'LL SEE YA LATER.

    Hey, friends!  Back!  Great!  Gained an agreeable amount of weight!  Got Chicken Pot Pie in store for myself in a couple of hours!  NOW LET'S GO.  Think I'll have A Single Beer and No Marijuana.  Ugh.  Let's just do it.  Offered to take off my shirt for Carotid Artery Test a little too gingerly I feel.  Like I was desperate to get naked.  LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED ALREADY or something.  In reality I only had to pull my collar down a little bit!  How would Nurse, "Yes and," in that scene.  HMM.  I can think of only two options cause I'm dumb.  You can Peas-In-A-Pod.  And it can get Sexytime.  Which isn't funny.  Just potentially uncomfortable for everyone. OR Nurse can be The Voice Of Reason.  Which would be like No that's unnecessary please sir why are you doing These Other Microactivities associated with Getting The Sex Party Started.  This is not appropriate at all right now.  Anyway.  There must be more options for the scene to go!  Those two choices are BLAND.  WHERE ARE MY IMPROV INSTINCTS.  LET'S GET CLEVER.  I dunno.  Improv is hard!
   Great.  I guess I'll write, I dunno, four more paragraphs?  That's what I'll AIM for I guess.  Should be funny!  Look, just because Improv is difficult for me, that doesn't make me any less of A Man.  I'M STILL A GOOD PERSON.  Trying my best!  Just like you!  Yeah.  Whatever.  WHAT ELSE.  Gotta get back into reading books.  Something about books is just very comforting to me!  BORING, but centering.  Great.  What movie am I gonna watch tonight that's more entertaining but less centering than reading a book.  Could be Dinner For Schmucks.  I started re-reading that already last night.  Great.  Have you ever realized how much of movies is Just People Talking To Each Other.  PRACTICALLY ALL OF IT.  Most movies!  And for most of each one!  JUST PEOPLE TALKING TO EACH OTHER.  THAT'S ALL IT IS.  That's cinema.  Still one of my favorite art forms somehow.  Every now and then it'll surprise you!  What movie recently SURPRISED me.  PSYCHO.  I did NOT see that ending coming.  VINCE VAUGHN'S MOTHER WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME AND HE WAS HER.
    Huh.  I guess I got my whole night ahead of me.  We'll see what happens!  How's everyone doing.  Still a shitty entry.  That's okay!  I'm comfortable with my craptitude.  Gotta be at this stage!  Huh.  Why am I abstaining from marijuana.  It'd probably help me out a little bit!  Just don't feel like it.  Alright.  What else is going on.  I'm not sure if I ever saw Entire Pyscho from start to finish.  Any version.  I get the idea!  Guy stabs up people in the shower.  Mother's corpse sitting up in the root cellar.  Motel Business is going... decently.  Anyway.  Former Met closer Billy Wagner made the Major League Baseball HALL OF FAME.  He's gonna be Hall Of Famous for a long time to come!  I guess indefinitely!  I hope he and his family savor this moment.  Why. They can savor ANY moment from HERE ON OUT!  That's the benefit!  Billy Wagner and Family and Friends can PACE THEMSELVES in terms of enjoying his Hall Of Faminity!  Great.  That's one way to go I guess.  ME, I'd go on a drunken bender if I were Billy Wagner.  Really DO TEH TOWN.  Embarrass myself while I'm at it!
    Penultimate paragraph.  Yeah.  Anyway.  Almost done with Community.  It's a Feel-Good show most of the time so hopefully they manage to end it in such a way that I still FEEL GOOD even when I'm done watching the show.  I hope they don't conclude it like hey we made you happy watching the program, now we're done, so you gotta go back to feeling unhappy since the show is over, too!  Anyway.  Guess we'll see!  Hmm.  Alright.  What else is up.  I haven't re-watched My Name Is Earl at all.  I don't know if it's available.  I don't know if I'd enjoy it if I can.  Why is it important that his name is Earl.  IT ISN'T.  The title is, "MY NAME IS EARL?"  THAT HARDLY COMES INTO PLAY AT ALL now that I think about it!  Him being named Earl.  WHAT THE HELL.  Whatever.  I should play PIANO tonight.  By which I mean KEYBOARD.  I don't care if it's for fifteen minutes.  I don't care if it's terrible.  Just do something with it.  Alright.  Great.  I'll play the same dozen things I always play on Piano.  Or on keyboard.  STAR WARS IS FIRST.  I LIKE STAR WARS.
   Last paragraph!  Hey there's a new Captain America movie coming out in a few weeks with Han Solo in it playing an evil president or so I gather.  I'll enjoy that one I guess.  I wonder what other super heroes turn up in this one.  Gotta be a couple!  MY FAVORITE IS PORCUPINE.  Gotta be a Porcupine in the Marvel Universe SOMEWHERE.  Lemme LTURQ.  YEAH.  THERE IS a Porcupine.  He's a villain though.  BOO!  WE TRUSTED YOU PORCUPINE.  YOU BETRAYED US.  Anyway.  That's what I get for picking a name out of thin air.  I get a VILLAIN!  Ah well, live and learn.  What name should I call myself for Upcoming Music Project.  Well I gotta make sure whatever I call myself, I'm not a Villain but a Hero I guess.  So there's that.  Hmm.  You know the kind of Hero that people could tolerate.  Who cares what people think.  Everyone cares what people think.  It matters a lot!  What matters is what I think.  Anyway.  That's all for today I guess.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-6:42 P.M.

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Everything Was Good Until You Showed Up

    That's how I feel!  Hmm.  It's Tuesday.  Starting the entry pretty late today.  Tomorrow I got Endocrine Doctor in late afternoon so I either gotta write Real Early or Real Late.  I dunno.  I hate how I lead off entries.  I always have and I always will!  Well why I don't I start doing it better then.  I'VE GOT A GOOD GROOVE GOING.  Bringing up THE DAY IT IS and WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS.  Just DON'T SAY IT.  People wouldn't mind if I jump straight into content!  I dunno.  I'm pretty set in my ways.  We'll see.  Maybe one day I'll create content that isn't reliant on knowing The Day and Time Of Day it was produced.  Like, when I write a song, the first couplet doesn't have to be Hey everybody this was written on a Tuesday, Three Thirty PM so now you are in tune with me... Anyway.  Hey it's the 3:30 PM Tuesday Song I love this one.  TURN THE RADIO UP!  I'd like another crack at that couplet.  I Wrote This Song On A Tuesday One Day/It Was Three Thirty PM when I first started Lyriccing... Wasn't that an old website in the late 1990s?  Something resembling Lyricc?  Coulda been a search engine. Or a Blogging conglomerate.  Or like an Angelfire Personal Website Place.  Lemme LTURQ.  Well Lyricc itself IS NOTHING.  But I AM thinking OF SOMETHING.
    Great.  January 21.  ONE POINT TWENTY ONE GIGAWATTS?  I'll allow it.  I always liked writing out the date with Periods instead of Slashes.  So today would be 1.21.25.  I like how it looks aesthetically!  I think that's how Professionals and The Scientific Community do it.  Intelligent People who We Should Take Seriously.  Like me!  I'm not intelligent.  I couldn't even come up with any good things to say on THE WEBSITE I'M WRITING.  I write things.  To share with other people.  And then I just shrug my shoulders and produce SHITTY CONTENT.  "WHAT THE HELL NONE OF THIS MATTERS ANYWAY."  Ah well.  WHY ARE WE STUPID MOST OF THE TIME.  What's the evolutionary reason for that.  Biological.  CHEMICAL?  I'd like to see some research on the matter!  Well I act stupid because in my mind it's funny.  But that's on a personal level.  I can't speak for other people though.  Also it seems like it'd be easier to be stupid, but it's probably harder, I dunno!  I lost track of any possible logic that may or may not exist in this riff!  I dunno!   
   Started re-watching Treme.  Prestige Drama will make everything OKAY.  IT HAS TO.  IT'S SMART.  It's not TV, it's HBO!  By next Improv Class, we'll probably get into the part of the course where We Have To Start Telling Stories.  "That random suggestion reminds me of THIS STORY FROM MY LIFE WHERE..."  I dunno!  Am I in a Headspace where I can start remembering Stories From MY Life?  Not right now!  Maybe I'm on track to be this weekend, though!  We'll see!  I can remember Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark.  I like the one where the guy takes a ghost to prom.  He didn't know she was a ghost!  Turned out she had died in a car accident!  NO SPOILERS.  I like the one where the Bride gets trapped in a suitcase while playing hide and go seek and they find her fourty years later.  IT HAPPENS.  I like the one where the Gypsy Kid tricks some Siblings into being disobedient and then eventually their mother leaves the kids and is replaced by some sort of One Eyed Monster With A Tail.  YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR I guess.  NOW if only I could use these tales in Improv Class.  I'd be set!  IN THE SENSE that I'd be prepared for Upcoming Improv Class Session.  NOT in the sense that THE REST OF MY ENTIRE LIFE would be figured out.  Because ultimately THESE STORIES ARE VERY UNHELPFUL.
    Fourth paragraph!  I dunno.  Should I be taking things Class-by-Class.  Or should I take things by HOW WILL THIS EFFECT THE REST OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.  I think the EVERYTHING one.  Class by class is Penny Ante Bullshit!  BUT it's important, too, because That's partially How I Grow!  Week By Week!  I DUNNO.  Both viewpoints are valid!  WHAT THE HELL.  BOTH?  I operate best with One Viewpoint.  Off the top of my head, I'D SAY that's the best part about Being Alone.  Huh.  Not having to think about how Anyone Else Is Thinking Things.  THAT'S DUMB. YOU'D LIKE FRIENDS.  BEING ABLE TO SEE THINGS DIFFERENT WAYS.  Anyway.  What do I know about Friends.  They title each episode with, "The One With..."  I never actually have seen an entire episode I don't think.  Good looking cast, though!  Funny!  EVEN AS A KID I thought I was better than Friends. I dunno why I was a Comedy Snob when I was 10.  BUT I WAS.  Where did that come from?!  TIME WORKS IN A CIRCLE.  That might halfway explain it somehow.  I don't think I'm better than Friends now.  I'm not better than hardly anything.  Michael what comedy are you better than.  LOOK, OKAY, WE DON'T NEED TO GET INTO IT!  WHATEVER.     
    Fifth paragraph.  Almost done with Community.  I really enjoyed most of it!  That's how I feel about most things I see!  Not I'M BETTER THAN THIS.  And even if I watch something I DON'T like, my most common feeling is Wow, I don't like this, but DAMMIT I'd be even worse.  THE SYSTEM WORKS.  Huh.  Gonna have to see TWO shows before this class is up.  I COULD LIE.  LYING I think might be my first instinct apparently.  Not really.  I had plenty of instincts before this paragraph to Actually Go See Some Shows.  But I could also just say Yeah I went To Some Show.  And then that'd be that.  Huh.  It's not LYING.  IT'S IMPROV!  Anyway.  You and I both know that Lying Is Not Improv.  Don't be a child.  BUT I LOOK SO MUCH LIKE ONE!  Huh.  Got Deli Delivery coming within the next hour.  Jewish Food!  Richest man in the world doing Seig Heils.  MOM, DAD... IS NAZI OKAY?  I DUNNO SON.  LET'S SEE.  My thought woulda been NO but I GUESS I'M NOT SO SURE.
    Halfway through the entry!  As far as I can tell, NO mainstream critical coverage of Trump releasing 1.6 rioters.  JUST NONE.  NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.  YEP.  THAT'S WHERE WE'RE AT TODAY.  I've BEEN done with the news!  Huh.  Where can I get my news elsewhere.  Elsewhere.  Sounds reasonable!  Are we all aware of WHY the news sucks so bad these days.  I dunno.  DID THEY LOSE A BET.  Alright your sports team won this game so NOW WE GOTTA GIVE TRUMP FAVORABLE COVERAGE FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.  I dunno!  Perhaps they just are really, really lazy.  Intellectually!  Somewhere somehow they were TRICKED into thinking Giving Trump Positive Coverage was a logical way to operate.  And they were like OK I GUESS IF YOU SAY SO.  I dunno.  YOUR NEWS COVERAGE OF TRUMP WILL NOT BENEFIT FROM YOU BEING DEFERENTIAL TO HIM.  IT WILL JUST BE COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS.  So if you're going for that, sure, great.  Good for you.  See where that takes ya.  Gonna be a long slog.  We'll get through it!  With or without each other!  I don't need the mainstream media to shape up.  I can survive without that in my life!  Sure it's damaging to my psyche how much they suck!  Hard to escape it completely!  Whatever. 
   Seventh paragraph.  DELI ARRIVED.  Not eating quite yet!  I'll eat later!  Great!  I'd like to live a life not NewsCentric.  Let's Start NOW.  Now reminds me of The National Organization Of Women which reminds me of The News which reminds me of if I ever had to name a SATIRE NEWS PROGRAM how about Out With The Olds, In With The News.  But the, "Out With The Olds," part... what does that refer to?  WHO CARES.  We're OUT with them.  What if we just shortened it to In With The News.  People might not realize the title is a Pun Reference, though!  What if we just called it NEWS.  Then it sounds like just NEWS we're talking about.  Which we've ESTABLISHED I'm not a fan of!  Maybe I'd like it better if only I got my news ONLY THROUGH THIS SPECIFIC PROGRAM.  What program.  The comedy show, "News?"  YEAH.  I DUNNO.  The program I'm imagining DOESN'T WORK.  Huh.  What if I imagined a, "News," THAT DID WORK.  Alright.  I can do that.  EASY.  Great.  I CALL PRODUCTION ASSISTANT.  Can I get you your coffee MR JUDAH FRIEDLANDER?  We got Friedlander as a correspondent!  I feel better already! 
   Eighth paragraph!  Well, I guess, maybe I should start working on my Coffee Getting Skills.  Walking quickly hunched over holding the cup up deliberately so it doesn't spill.  Is that really the life I want for myself?  This is just something that I have to do.  I don't really see how I have a choice!  Anyway.  I think I have ten seconds to act if I wanna CALL a better job than P.A.  OK BETTER JOB.  PLEASE!  I've seen fictional television shows portray Production Assistant Characters as not always getting the most respect!  And that's something I've really grown accustomed to in my head!  Don't be barking Coffee Orders at me!  Alright.  Anyway.  NEWS isn't necessarily the best idea for me but it's also one universe WHERE I'D FEEL COMFORTABLE IN.  Anyway.  WHAT QUALIFIES ME TO POTENTIALLY BE IN CHARGE OF NEWS.  Well, let's think about it.  I know how to write a joke. Two, I CAME UP with the idea.  Three, I got DIRECTION.  Anyway.  Three reasons is a lot for something.  Right?
   Penultimate paragraph.  OKAY.  I don't think NEWS is funny!  Great.  Maybe if they added some new gimmicks.  It's just the Same Old Stuff always.  HMM.  Huh.  Oh.  HOW ABOUT AN AD CAMPAIGN.  A BIG ONE.  I'm not sure we're able to improve the quality of the program but we can certainly GET PEOPLE TO WATCH MORE.  Why can't we improve the quality of the program?  Seems like there are some obvious quick fixes.  OK WELL SPEAK UP NOW IS YOUR TURN I AM HERE TO LISTEN TO YOU GUYS.  People find the closing song to be a bit of a bummer.  IT TURNS PEOPLE OFF.  It's an outro!  It's SUPPOSED to be divisive!  Good.  Almost halfway done with the week.  I guess then we'll see what's what!  News.  Nope!  I DON'T THINK I like it.  What if it just so happened I found a magical amulet that as long as I was in charge of the TV show News I COULD CREATE THE KIND OF NEWS I WANTED.  That's what happens in Bruce Almighty.  He was a NEWS CORRESPONDENT who used his super powers to create news for himself to cover.  OH.  OKAY.  SO THAT WAS THE MORAL OF THAT MOVIE.
   Last paragraph.  If they never used the tagline, "Alllllmighty Then!" WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE.  Alright.  Guess I gotta TRY to write the entry tomorrow sooner rather than later!  That's my initial instinct.  I also feel like there's no good reason to put it off for later Other Than Wanting To Sleeping Late which is what I do literally every day now that I think about it.  But I don't see how that could possibly effect me Tomorrow!  TOMORROW COUNTS AS EVERY DAY.  Well we don't know that for sure!  Okay.  Anyway.  I dunno.  What if Tomorrow Never Happened?  What if we just jumped straight to Thursday?  Huh.  I guess.  That might work.  Let's give it a shot.  Anyway.  I DON'T BELIEVE IN MYSELF.  What, I AM ME, yet I don't actually BELIEVE IN MYSELF to Create And Host, "News?"  This is dumb!  It's SIMPLE.  Just SIT THERE AND DO IT.  I guess.  Anyway.  There's other ways to be involved in comedy than through News.  And there's other ways to be involved in the world than through comedy!  Anyway.  I'll write an entry tomorrow.  That shit gonna be sweet.  See ya then.

-7:23 P.M.     
  
                       

Monday, January 20, 2025

This Website Is Not Going To Make Anyone Happy

    WHY NOT.  Anyway.  How was everyone's Weekend.  Still ongoing possibly.  Today is a holiday.  It's Martin Day!  Where we celebrate the Martin Lawrence Sitcom Day!  Wait no it's Martin Luther Day.  Where we celebrate the originator of Protestantism.  Wait no it's Martin Luther King Day.  Where we celebrate Civil Rights Champion Martin Lither King JR's... father!  Wait no it's Martin Luther King JR day... probably... I dunno. Maybe today we actually DO celebrate just Martin Luther King.  As a clerical error.  And we really SHOULD be celebrating Civil Rights Leader's Father.  Hmm.  He was apparently a minister and civil rights leader, as well!  WHY NOT CELEBRATE HIM TOO.  We can't celebrate Everybody.  WE CAN CELEBRATE TWO PEOPLE.  WHAT'S THE HARM.  I'm just concerned Martin Luther King JR will feel his legacy is cheapened if people start celebrating his Less Renowned Father as much as him.  GIVE MLK SOME CREDIT.  He'd want History to love and respect his father!  Why.  I can't SPEAK for Martin Luther King JR!  BUT I WOULD GUESS because He Loved And Respected Him.  That's why I went into the same field as my father.  Being A Person Who Does Stuff And Generally Just Lives On Earth.  My father has a more specific job than that.  Teaching.  But I didn't go into that.  As far as I know!
   Anyway.  OKAY.  What did I accomplish this last weekend.  I dunno.  Did I do any teaching?  What, on the weekend?  Why would I teach on the weekend even if I was a teacher.  No I don't think that would happen.  CLASSES ARE GENERALLY ON WEEKDAYS.  OKAY?  Huh.  OKAY.  I GUESS.  ANYWAY.  I DUNNO.  I guess you can teach all sorts of extracurricular classes on the weekends.  But not Regular School Classes.  Anyway.  FRIDAYS.  They might be considered weekend classes by the registrar if you were in college! ...I don't think that's true.  HUH.  Anyway.  Re-calibrate Myself.  Where Am I.  Who Am I Talking To.  WHAT'S THE PLOT.  OK.  I'm at the website.  I am talking to all of you fine people.  The plot is I am Sitting Here In My Room ON A CHAIR With Nothing But My Keyboard And Laptop in front of me.  Also a beer and iced coffee.  THAT'S NO PLOT.  I'm setting up the plot by describing the setting!  IT'S STANDARD in the storytelling business.  I don't know why you have such a big problem with me setting up the setting and not getting to the plot.  WELL IT'S JUST BECAUSE I RARELY GET ANY PLOTS OUT OF YOU.  Sorry.  It's just that there's no UPDATES.  Things are happening, but it's just a continuation of THE LAST THING.  THUS, NO PLOT.
   Alright.  Alright!  Yeah I gotta write eight more paragraphs.  Anyway.  Worked on some music this weekend with varying results.  Ranging from 0 out of 10 to SEVENTY out of Two Hundred.  I can recall some Progress Made!  But at the same time I can also recall some Ceilings Hit.  Maybe Future Music I should think more carefully about when I make it.  MAKE IT GOOD.  MAKE IT BETTER.  I REALLY SHOULD.  IT'D MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.  Huh.  Who's gonna own up to this.  Which Of Me RHYMED, "Better," with, "Better?!"  SOMEBODY SPEAK UP!  I get it.  It's funny.  Because I have problems.  WAS IT YOU, ITALICS PERSON.  YOU SEEM TO HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON TEH SUBJECT.  Look, I don't mind you reading Me Being Weird.  I'm Crazy.  We're Here Together.   Anyway.  PLOT.  THINGS ARE HAPPENING.  GREAT!  I don't know WHO SAID THAT.  IT WAS ME.  THE REAL ME.  Anyway.  Can't wait to get The Fuck Outta This Paragraph.  I don't know why it's funny.  Because it's a Comedy Website.  That's how I've always felt!  How do I feel NOW.  I dunno.  SIMILAR TO HOW I JUST FELT EARLIER BEFORE BUT SLIGHTLY TUNED UP.
    Fourth paragraph.  I dunno!  I don't like my roommates.  My parents get on my nerves!  I don't mean that metaphorically.  I mean, literally!  THEIR 13th Dimensional ECTOPLASMICAL GOO IS STICKING TO THE NERVES IN MY NERVOUS SYSTEM.  But it's nice to have friends.  I dunno.  LOTS of paragraphs left.  Why is that my problem.  MAYBE YOU WANT SOME ESCAPISM.  Lose yourself in MY problems!  Like Writing Lots Of Paragraphs!  What's gonna happen.  I don't know yet!  Anyway.  What else is going on.  How did Improv Class go yesterday?  There were plusses and minuses.  On the one hand nothing Terrible happened ON THE SURFACE.  But on the other hand I didn't do great in scenes when you think about it and even though people laughed I'M ASSUMING everyone took a break from their own busy lives to make Permanent Impressions of me AS SOME SORT OF UNTALENTED ASSHOLE.  THAT'S WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE IF I WERE THEM.  Oh well.  Class #3 of Improv 201 COULD HAVE BEEN MY BIG BREAK but I blew it!  What big break.  That's my theory of the universe.  No Big Bang.  Big Break!  I'll tell ya later.
    Fifth paragraph.  Anyway.  MAKES SENSE.  So, what, The Universe just started out Composed Of Something and then... what.. it just Breaks?  Please Explain.  Well, Big Break Theory posits that the universe starts out NOT UNLIKE a House Of Cards.  And then at some point for reasons I Don't Know it BROKE!  Creating the universe we have now.  I'd call that Collapse Theory.  Big Collapse.  Not Break.  Well, anyway.  Big Break Theory could be The Universe is a 2 x 4 board and a Creator in a karate costume chops it in half.  Maybe funnier if he's a kid.  Anyway.  Look I dunno about any of these theories.  I'm just a simple Person Who Does Stuff And Generally Just Lives ON EARTH.  Huh.   MICHAEL COME UP WITH THE ORIGIN OF THE UNIVERSE.  Well my first guess is it'd mimic Child Birth.  My second thought is it'd mimic Starbucks pouring a cold brew coffee through the spout.  My third thought is BUT I DID IT EARLIER.  My fourth thought is... fourth thoughts... wow... things are getting serious... Huh... ORIGIN OF THE UNIVERSE... HOW DID IT HAPPEN?... MAYBE THEY JUST THOUGHT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN A NEW UNIVERSE.
   That makes sense to me!  SUPPLY AND DEMAND.  CHAIN OF COMMAND.  ROCK BAND.  SAND.  Today so far!  That's all I've accomplished! Tomorrow is another day.  Whoever came up with that Aspirational Quote was FULL OF SHIT.  Should be, "Today Is Another Day."  TOMORROW Is Another Day?  WHY PUT OFF TIL TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY is a GREAT Come-Back Quote.  GOOD FOR THEM.  Anyway.  What should I be doing Today.  PROBABLY FIGURE SOMETHING OUT FOR YOURSELF.  Okay.  Figured That Out.  GREAT NOW FIGURE SOMETHING OUT FOR ME.  I can't figure things out for you.  IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.  Okay.  Let's start talking about something that doesn't NEED to be figured out.  Something I Know And Recognize 100%.  That YOU know and Recognize 100%!  SNOW.  The Snowing Season has begun.  And it's been coming down like cats and dogs!  Do you realize they have to SALT THE SIDEWALKS?  You know, like the Spice!  JUST TO GET THE SNOW MELTED.  Anyway.  I never understood how that worked exactly.  Does salt suck up the moisture?  I DON'T KNOW MY ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE. 
     Huh.  WHICH IS A SHAME.  Environment is literally WHERE I LIVE.  Seventh paragraph.  How do I get out of here.  Write the rest of the entry and you will have completed The Wizard's Quest.  Then enjoy your Reward of getting the night off!    Cool.  YEAH.  You gotta wonder what the fuck is wrong with some people.  THEY COMPLETE A WIZARDS QUEST.  And then they go WHAT'S MY REWARD.  YOUR REWARD WAS COMPLETING THE WIZARD'S QUEST!  That was a pretty good Wizards Quest I guess.  But I can't feed my kids on Me Having Positive Experiences!  Ok.  More words coming up!  POSITIVE EXPERIENCES.  I don't know.  Is that like when you eat apples with the family?  The apple orchard?  Just one pitch I had.  POSITIVE EXPERINECES.  Hmm.  WHAT?! WHERE'S MY INSPIRATION.  CAN'T COME UP WITH A SECOND POSITIVE EXPERIENCE?  Had to go to the Laundromat this weekend.  That was a positive experience.  All them endorphins and serotonins being released knowing my Dad's clothes will be cleaned?  I feel better now!  I'm not sure if IMPROV is right for me.  I'm not sure if it's right for anybody!  NO.  WE'RE ALLOWED TO DO IT.  JUST NOT YOU.  I don't endorse that message!
   Eighth paragraph!  THREE paragraphs to go.  Which one of them will be entertaining, which one will be a dud, and which one will be The Same Backwards As It Is Forwards.  We'll see!  I bet it's in the order I wrote them in originally!  HUH.  Entertaining People.  It's something that I've always been able to do!  Even when I was a child people would say Hey Michael would you entertain us for a while and I said SURE with a drink in my hand OF COURSE I'LL HOLD COURT FOR A WHILE while Parents are away.  And would entertain the kids Saying This Or That.  What THE HELL would I talk about.  As a kid.  Like, pre-teenager.  I knew I would make 'em laugh.  I remember already being the funny one at that age.  WHAT THE HELL WOULD I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THOUGH AT THAT AGE.  What do kids find funny.  Probably when FUNNY STUFF happens.  Right?  YEAH.  GIMME FIVE.  TOO SLOW.  GIMME TEN.  TOO SLOW.  NOW YOU OWE ME FIFTEEN.  Anyway.  You don't wanna get into fingers debt much more than 15.  20, 25 at most!  Otherwise you're doing high fiving wrong.
    Penultimate paragraph.  I'M NOT SURE I KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.  That's okay.  I guess I wouldn't wanna say the wrong thing.  So not knowing what you're saying has its downsides.  BUT IN GENERAL I'LL SAY THE RIGHT THING.  Because I'm pretty intelligent!  JUST TRUST ME ON THAT.  C'mon.  YOU'VE SEEN ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN be intelligent!  Let's be real!  I'M A SMART GUY.  Anyway.  I don't feel like a smart guy.  I always feel like I Don't Know What I'm Saying.  EVEN WHEN I'M THE ONE SAYING IT.  Huh.  There's a term for that.  It's called Mental Illness.  OKAY.  HOW DO I GET RID OF IT.  Well lobotomies are making a comeback this season... Lobotomy?  That'd make it WORSE!  I MEAN I CAN TELL YOU I WAS VERY UNHAPPY WITH MINE.  Huh.  I don't believe I was lobotomized in real life but IT FEELS true when I say it out loud.  Like, I FEEL like I was lobotomized or something.  HEY what people do to their own brains in their spare time is their own business.  FAIR ENOUGH.
    Last paragraph!  Alright I figure I'm a paragraph away from a Big Break.  We're talking 20ish hours.  What would the Universe really be in Big Break Theory.  Egg Cracking.  THAT'S BIG CRACK THEORY.  Good.  I'm stuck here in the last paragraph all by myself presumably and it's a good thing because I've felt overwhelmed the entire day.  I know by this point Every Reader has already dropped off.  Some left in paragraph three, some in paragraph seven, some in paragraph nine.  But by this point, I'm All Alone.  Such a blessing.  Anyway.  What else is up.  I said to myself!  With no one else to hear it.  IS THERE NO ONE ELSE OUT THERE.  THERE ISN'T, IS THERE.  THIS IS IT, ISN'T IT.  I AM ALL ALONE.  FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.  DOOMED.  TO WALK ALONE BY MY LONESOME.  And et cetera et ceteras.  I DON'T THINK I WANT TO DO IMPROV.  I only commit to bits 80%!  It's just that I think Improv is STUPID, okay?  But IMPROV is EVERYTHING!  Anyway.  I guess that's it for today.  What kind of entry do you want to read tomorrow?  You can choose from either What I'm Going To Write or What I'm Going To Write Alternative.  Huh.  I'd like a third option.  The Alternative is pretty good!  I think you'd like it if you're not comfortable with What I'm Going To Write.  Well sure.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-6:00 P.M.   
       
    

Thursday, January 16, 2025

That's Not How Any Of This Works

    Hi, friends!  One more entry until I reach Weekend.  I MADE IT.  You watched it happen!  Plus we had some Fun Content and Halfway Interaction along the way.  Sometimes I can IMAGINE THE AUDIENCE READING ALONG WITH ME if I get Really Deep Into My Head while writing the entry.  That's kind of like An Interaction Between Us.  Hmm.  OR is that just how Writers/Performers Are Supposed To Think.  I dunno.  Also, just a general question that I have on my mind to anyone who might know-- are we supposed to think Like We're Supposed To Think?  Like how SOCIETY wants us to?  I DUNNO.  I SAY BE YOUR OWN PERSON.  Anyway.  Be My Own Person.  Who.  Why.  JUST TRUST ME.  Alright.  Great.  Well.  I got a lot of stuff to say I guess.  I Think.  Bob Ueucker and David Lynch have passed on.  This means someone else famous is on deck.  At some point sometime soon A Celebrity Will Die.  Celebrities dying in threes is a rule that we've agreed on!  WHY I DON'T KNOW.  Was there an actual Original Trilogy that set it off?  Or did someone just make it up.  LEMME LTURQ.
    I found a list of Ten Times It Happened on the internet.  Didn't read the list so I can't attest to it's relevance or accuracy.  Hmm.  Nine paragraphs to go.  Wow.  If this is how much fun I'm having IN PARAGRAPH TWO imagine what I'll be saying LATER.  I really shouldn't, I'm busy paying attention here in Paragraph Two.  TRYING TO at least.  WE GET LOST SOMETIMES.  OK.  YEAH.  Anyway.  A lot of things left to say.  I assume.  What if I just went Ya know what?  I don't have anything else to say.   SEE YA NEVER.  I wouldn't like that!  Anyway.  I guess not.  BUT I GOTTA KEEP SAYING THINGS.  Alright.  I guess.  Eight and a half paragraphs to go.  THINGS.  Let me talk about THINGS THAT HAPPENED.  Alright.  Things reminds me of Women and when I think of Women I think of my Mom who is the greatest lady I've ever met.  She's kind of old!  She might be Partying With Ueucker soon but she's hanging in there.  HEY, SHE'S A GREAT LADY.  Very kind and loving.
    More loving than kind.  Quite considerate, too.  She once threw me AN Entire Birthday Party!  Anyway.  Eight paragraphs to go.  I dunno.  Suddenly it feels like a lot of work that's left.  Eight paragraphs of WORDS?  THAT MEAN NOTHING?  What if I wrote Paragraphs that Were Great.  Oh.  Sure thing.  What if it rained gumdrops and volcano'd molten Coca-Cola?  OH I GOT ONE.  THEN WE'D BE IN THE GREATEST OF ALL UNIVERSES.  When we're thirsty WE CAN JUST SUCK UP THE FLOOD.  When we're hungry CHEW ON THE RAIN.  Alright then.  I don't see the humor in the response but there is a certain logic to it that I appreciate!  I appreciate ALL logic!  Sometimes I think thoughts that are illogical!  Those are the worst!  IF YOU GOT LOGIC YOU'RE OKAY IN MY BOOK.  Anyway.  What book.  The book I'm writing now that I decided Movie Was Wrong For Me.  People would read my book.  THEY WOULD BE FORCED TO.  I'd see to that.  Anyway I can.  Peer Pressure.  Subliminal Advertising.  It Being On The Syllabus. 
   Huh.  THE SILLY BUS.  Yeah.  I'm not excited about that phrase.  SOME people are.  Gotta be a couple.  It's possible I don't know my audience very well!  I get the basic idea.  I can picture you like I'm some sort of MASTER Computating Person Calculating Who You Are. (*Michael Has A Cloud Above His Head In Which He Is Imagining a completely blurred out person*)  So that's good.  You know like a Thought Cloud.  Like in cartoons or TV someone will be Thinking Something and a cloud appears above their head where they Picture What It Is They're Thinking.  THAT THING.  Oh Okay.  I guess.  I didn't get so much out of it.  I don't know if I'll ever do it again!  Gotta Think SOMEHOW One Way Or Another.  I'd like to think SMARTLY.  You know like how Neil DeGrasse Tyson thinks.  He knows about the stars and WHO KNOWS what else.  What if my movie is WHAT IF YOU WOKE UP WITH NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON'S BRAIN.  Huh.  Then you'd be Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  THAT'S MY FIRST THOUGHT.  Sorry to shit on the idea.  That could be a funny movie.  I don't know anything about Neil DeGrasee Tyson.  Should I write it That Way?  Might be funnier!  I dunno!  Obviously I know he's Smart.  And is a bit of a celebrity for a scientist.  That's about it!
   Fifth paragraph!  That's good.  Kind of funny.  I would watch that movie Eventually if they made it!  Is Neil DeGrasse Tyson in the movie.  Probably!  I'd imagine he'd be in that movie playing himself either as a main character or a cameo!  Also I still haven't figured out how to crack the You'd Just Be Neil DeGrasse Tyson if you had his brain Problem.  Maybe you just had all his Knowledge, Intelligence, And Reasoning/Thinking Power.  Which surprisingly causes you problems for some reason!  Cause that's how movies work!  Or Neil DeGrasse Intelligence helps Main Character with their Previous life problems.  That could also be how movies work.  Wonderful.  I guess.  I don't know.  Is it an Intelligence Switch Movie?  Does Neil DeGrasse Tyson get to play A Simpleton for half the film?  Now he's walking around acting like Forrest Gump or something?  Huh.  I dunno.  Half an entry left to write.  I'm gonna go for it!  I'm gonna get Subway tonight!  THANK YOU.  I couldn't have done it without you.  Your moral support throughout this entry has given me the MOMENTUM I NEEDED to make it through this entry and eventually GET SUBWAY TONIGHT.  YES MY SANDWICH WILL PROBABLY BE CHICKEN BASED.
   Halfway through the entry.  LOOK, OKAY?  I DUNNO.  Need to write five more paragraphs!  Alright.  Now I really don't know what I have to say for the remaining five paragraphs.  I keep thinking about DeGrasse Tyson Movie.  Ok.  We can let it go now.  OK.  But let's keep an eye on that guy!  I think he's going places!  CAREERWISE. Is he trying to break into acting?  I DON'T KNOW.  MAYBE HE IS.  MAYBE We Want to make this movie happen.  He's an astro-physicist.  What does he give a shit about Acting.  HE KNOWS THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE.  Well so do actors.  Probably even moreso.  That'd be my guess.  Lots of people know the secrets of the universe.  Secrets of the universe, even I know a few!  MICHAEL which Secrets Of The Universe DO YOU KNOW. I can't SAY.  You know that!  Anyway.  The Secrets I know are pretty irrelevant to most people.  Whatever.  You'll figure it out eventually.  All this talk about secrets.  I DON'T KNOW what we're talking about!  Great.  WAIT.  I GOT IT.  NOW I'M BACK ON BOARD.  That sounds like a lie but let's keep going regardless.
   Seventh paragraph!  I know.  SEVEN.  One Higher Than Six!  And you thought SIX was high!  NO ONE THOUGHT SIX WAS HIGH.  I don't know.  Maybe someone was busy reading this entry and happened to think at some point during the sixth paragraph, "Wow this is already the sixth paragraph, pretty high up now!"  WE CAN'T SPEAK FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL READER.  I can't even speak for myself!  I OUTSOURCE THAT TO PEOPLE IN INDO-CHINA.  I personally haven't said a thing in *Michael Looks At His Wrist Watch*  Three Thirty.  I dunno.  I'm HERE RIGHT NOW.  Typing!  Talking!  More or less!  It's great!  I like Neil DeGrasse Tyson Movie.  IT'S MORE OF THE SAME THOUGH.  Not the movie I'm picturing.  I'm picturing THE MOST UNIQUE AND PERHAPS IMPORTANT MOVIE THAT'S EVER BEEN MADE.  Not Me, I was picturing something with a final scene in a Planetarium.  I was picturing something with LASERS.  OKAY everyone was picturing something different very good.  Anyway.  Gotta be funny, though, right?  Yeah.  Of Course.  There'll Be Funny Coming Out Of Our Ears with this movie.
   Three paragraphs to go.  I'm not sure that's an expression.  NO.  I'M SURE IT IS.  Fair enough.  I'm gonna tell ya right now-- I don't think You're Reading This Entry Perfectly.  I KNOW because I'm Not WRITING IT perfectly.  So YOU CAN'T read it perfectly, it's IMPOSSIBLE.  So anyway.  Just a note to both of us.  Eighth paragraph.  Last day of the week.  It's all coming apart.  OR IS IT ALL COMING TOGETHER.  I dunno.  PROBABLY APART.  BUT WE'LL SEE.  Lemme think about that for a second.  I dunno.  I don't think it's all coming together.  I don't think it's all coming apart.  I think if only we could write A Neil DeGrasse Tyson Header... we might understand what it's like to be smart.  Header.  It's an industry term.  It means A Movie About and/or Within One's Head.  Surprisingly it's an Insurance Industry term.  Anyway.  Two more paragraphs to go after this one.  Good.  Alright!  HAPPY TO DO IT.  Look.  It's not the hardest job in the world.  I'd say the hardest job in the world is, you guys know it, SAY IT WITH ME, MOTHERS. 
   Hmm.  YEAH.  THEY DO A LOT.  LET'S RIOT.  What, in favor of mothers?  Yeah!  What kind of riot.  WE CAN'T THINK.  JUST DO IT.  START KNOCKING SHIT OVER.  Alright.  I don't think our mothers would approve of our rioting.  My mom didn't raise me to become a Rioter!  I don't think so at least.  DON'T REALLY REMEMBER.  I TRY TO RECALL MEMORIES OF MOTHER RAISING ME AND ALL I CAN THINK OF IS NU-METAL AND RAP MUSIC.  No, but seriously, my Mom was great.  She was always very supportive of me.  Huh.  Which would make sense.  On account of being my mother.  Anyway.  What's on my mind again?  A paragraph and a half to go!  I'm the guy who's gonna get us there! WRITE THAT PARAGRAPH AND A HALF.  What.  A paragraph?  AND A HALF?  Can I write The Half First?  And THEN The Complete Paragraph?  YES?  OK.  GREAT.  THAT'S WHAT I HAD MY HEART SET ON IN TEH FIRST PLACE TO BE HONEST.  ALWAYS WANTED TO FINISH THIS CURRENT PARAGRAPH BEFORE I STARTED THE NEXT ONE.
   Last paragraph!  Great.  I Don't know.  What do you think?  What does it mean.  What is the artist trying to say?  I think it represents his BLUE PERIOD HA-HA-HA.  Anyway.  What else is up.  HOW CAN A PERIOD.  BE BLUE.  I don't know, it just is one out of ten million times!  OH OKAY.  I'd like to work in an ORANGE PERIOD.  IS THAT OKAY.  Sure.  NOW I'D LIKE TO WORK IN A YELLOW PERIOD.  Why not.  NOW I'D LIKE TO RETIRE TO A PERIOD THAT TRANSCENDS COLOR.  Okay Sure.  But I'm not ready to retire I don't have enough wealth accumulated.  OK.  Stay AT WORK.  In some COLORFUL PERIOD.  Alright makes sense to me I Guess.  Try doin' some work.  In some sort of Color.  That's all it takes, huh?  Better start learning New Colors.  That's what a responsible artist would do.  A Responsible Artist Would Learn New Colors.  YEAH.  I think so!  WILL I LEARN NEW COLORS?  YES.  NOT ONLY WILL I LEARN NEW COLORS BUT I'LL LEARN OLD OUT OF USE COLORS.  I'll learn all the colors possible!  Anyway.  That's it for today. I'll see ya next week.

-6:49 P.M.

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

This Title Is Just The Beginning

    Hey.  Entrytime!  Starting pretty late in the day.  I woke up late!  Been getting up late pretty standardly lately.  I don't know if that's a sign of Pre-depression or what!  I dunno.  Either way I'm looking forward to the weekend starting in about 26 hours on Thursday Night.  Oh well.  What should I write about.  Still have residual thought from last entry about writing a screenplay.  Wanna somehow squee-gee that off of me.  I don't want to write a screenplay!  Can I get rid of that theory of What I'm Supposed To Do With My Life?  IT FEELS WRONG.  There's other formats I'm more prepared to engage in for now!  Like THIS HERE.  And/or MUSIC.  And Improv Class!  Them's the breaks I think!  Now Look if you sheetheads out there wanna start some sort of crowdsourced GoFundMe Petition to encourage me to write a screenplay GREAT.  I'll do whatever you say!  But anyway assuming I get no input from anybody I'm just gonna keep doing what I was doing before Write A Movie popped into my head!  Oh.  Good.  I'm here for it.  What was I doing exactly again?  I WAS WRITING THIS CRAP.  YEAH.  I want to write this.  AND LEARN PICKLEBALL.  Seems to be having a moment right now!       
    Whoever named Pickleball DIDN'T WANT the sport to be taken seriously.  It SOUNDS like something Only Idiots would play.  He was trying to make it a niche sport from the start!  BUT THE JOKES ON HIM.  Sport appears to be taking off in wide popularity terms nonetheless!  It's 2025.  Either you or someone you know Knows Of Pickleball.  WOW.  They got rackets.  They got balls.  Probably got nets!  I can't wait to find out Exactly What It Is.  What if it involves something about PICKING the Ball you're using.  Pick'll Ball.  Nope.  I don't think that thought'll pan out exactly.  Doesn't quite make sense.  But my heart is in the right place.  I should be trying to come up with comments.  It's A Blog Website.  MADE UP OF THOUGHTS.  I guess?  I don't think so, really!  How much of each 10 paragraph entry can really be described as, "A Thought."  NOT A LOT.  Oh.  Well.  It's still nice to give Thinking a try from time to time!  Maybe I'm not doing it so much personally.  But my Website Bullshit causes READER TO THINK.  Your mind gotta work in overdrive just to TRY to make sense of this nonsense.    
    OK.  Anyway.  I guess I gotta write eight more paragraphs!  YOU KNOW IT!  I say Thinking Thoughts all the time.  FOR EXAMPLE The Metric System IS VERY APPEALING to someone who wasted their youth learning the dumbness of The Imperial System.  I don't know why I need to memorize the idiosyncrasies of these American measurements when The Metric System offers LOGICAL AND EASY TO REMEMBER STANDARDS.  THE METRIC SYSTEM IS AN R & B/FUNK BAND RIGHT?  Cause that the thing I've been referring to!  Huh.  GREAT.  What else is up.  I don't know.  Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't!  Why.  How could a person NOT KNOW WHAT IS UP.  LACK OF ABILITY TO TILT HEAD.  So.  WHAT is up anyway.  Lots of stuff.  We're talking WEDNESDAY.  That's the highest day of the week if it were made out of a mountain.  I don't know.  MICHAEL TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT WEDNESDAY.  It's in the top six of days!  WHICH DAY DO YOU HATE.  I don't know.  Is it too late to say Today?  Yeah.  We established the BASE REALITY where it wasn't today.  I HATE ALL DAYS EQUALLY.  In the sense that I kinda like my life most of the time!  I dunno.  This paragraph.  Hmm.  Lost track of the plot.
    Fourth paragraph!  Oh, right!  That's the plot.  Anyway.  What's the plot.  That.  And now this.  THIS ISN'T THE PLOT TO ANYTHING.  GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.  Anyway.  Seven paragraphs to go.  There is a lot to be said.  In the sense that I must say a lot of things.  I dunno.  If what I write is readable, then we should be okay!  Ah.  SHIT.  WRITE READABLE SHIT.  That makes a lot of sense, I guess.  What else is good.  I'd like to write for a while if that's okay with you.  Why wouldn't that be okay with me.  I'M HERE FOR YA!  Oh, Okay!  Great.  I'll have to take my word for it I guess.  Alright.  IS MY WORD GOOD.  Yes.  I was taught to, "Yes, And," in Improv so YES.  My word is good.  Hmm.  What if My Co-Improviser is proposing we do something illegal.  Do I have to go along with it In That Joke?  I dunno.  If I wanna appease the Improv Gods, maybe.  HOW DOES ONE APPEASE IMPROV GODS.  I think we'd all like to know!  Actually you'd be surprised how few people are interested in that.  Oh.  OK.  Amazing.  Sounds like I want to appease the Improv Gods now.  No I don't.  It's a JOKE.  I don't care.  I dunno what's funny about anything that ever happens in improv.  YET I CAN'T STOP TRYING. 
   Anyway.  It is what it is!  I guess so.  Guess I gotta URINATE now.  Finally Some ME time.  I dunno!  You're not so bad!  I like the part where you don't give me any negative stimuli.  Hardly ever!  Am I talking to me on that?  Who's talking to who.  I get confused.  IT'S OKAY.  Anyway.  Wouldn't you know it I'M TALKING TO YOU right now!  JUST believe me!  For a second at least.  Can't you TRUST that I AM ME and YOU ARE YOU for ONE SECOND?  Alright.  ONE SECOND.  BUT THEN YOU'RE GOING BACK TO BEING SOMEONE ELSE AND I'M GOING BACK TO BEING THEM.  Alright.  Great.  Well.  My life is half over.  Thirty Six years old.  Five and a half paragraphs to go.  What's going on in the second half of the entry.  I guess something new!  OK.  SOMETHING NEW.  LIKE A ZEBRA CROSSED WITH A HOUSEKEEPER.  GOD WOULDN'T ALLOW IT.  OK.  HOW ABOUT A KOALA CROSSED WITH A MANDOLIN.  Not on this Earth or any other planet.  THE SOUND OF RAIN CROSSED WITH A BLANKET.  That's nowhere near a thing we need. 
    What else.  I guess I should just do Something Old then.  JOKES ABOUT THE GAS SHORTAGE OF 1970's.  THE 1929 STOCK MARKET CRASH.  ALL THE TIMES THAT POWER PLANTS MELTED DOWN.  What are my takes on the gas shortage of 1970's.  Hey I was in my car so long today waiting for gas, that It felt like it took up my entire day!  JUST SITTING IN MY CAR.  WAITING FOR GAS.  YOU GUYS TOO RIGHT?  As relevant today as it was fifty years ago!  How about 1929 Stock Market Crash.  Just when you think everythings going good, huh.  Stockmarket CRASHED this year in 1929 just now.  It's terrible.  Not just a regular crash, this is the worst crash it's ever been.  Good news for me, though, because I have all my money in Decorative Frisbees and Chia Pets That Look Like Celebrities.  Why would that be part of the joke.  That guy's Good Fortune.  IT WOULDN'T BE!  Okay.  What's my take on All The Times Power Plants Melted Down.  I dunno.  Too Soon.  Anyway.  I feel like I gotta start over again in the next paragraph with a fresh start.  FRESH & FUNNY. 
    AMAZING.  TWO DAY WEEKEND COMING UP.  FRIDAY SATURDAY.  What happened to Sunday.  TRADITIONALLY included as part of the standard weekend.  Improv class, man.  IT'S A GRIND.  Anyway.  "MAKE YOUR OWN SUNDAY."  That's a good idea for a Self Help Book.  Where the tip to happiness is MAKE YOUR OWN SUNDAY.  Design a personalized Sunday JUST FOR YOURSELF.  Alright.  I feel like a millionaire already.  Perfect.  This book is going straight to the charts!  What charts.  The Book Charts.  That rank the books.  From 1 to 100!  Mostly when you see people refer to Charts I think they're just talking about Lists.  Charts would be more interesting, though!  I wanna see a New York Times Best Seller ACTUAL CHART.  Like with graphs and diagrams and maybe some complicated statistics.  Oh.  Okay.  I DUNNO. I GOT TOO MUCH ENTRY LEFT TO WRITE FOR THE TIME OF NIGHT IT IS.  You'd think Who Cares but maybe Someone Besides Me!  Maybe lots of people care!  I don't know!  I DON'T KNOW!
   Three paragraphs to go.  I don't know what's gonna happen in 'em!  Shuold be unique, though!  EACH ONE can build off the one that came before it!  Okay.  What are we building towards.  DUH.  THE END.  When I get to finish the entry, I mean!  I'm writing three more paragraphs so I can BE DONE WITH YA'S FOR NOW.  Let's see.  In the meantime, let's Yukk-It-Up a bit.  A BIT.  Why a bit.  What's wrong with a bit.  I could have said it without, "a bit," so why did I say, "A Bit?"  I dunno.  I like things happening In Bits!  REMINDS ME that, "Life Is For Living" - Liv Tyler.  That's how things go I guess.   I don't think that's how things go.  Huh.  If I were to write a movie, what would the plot be.  Connected things that happen over an extended period of time, I'd say.  Can't be a bunch of things that happen All At Once.  NO I'd say it's separate things that happen, one after another!  Wow I can't wait to see this film.  Probably would be pretty good!  Too bad it will never exist!  Hmm.  I could get working on it.  That'd be a way for it to START existing.  You don't want me working on something.  I'm no good.  Well, sure, but if you take that out of the equation, I'm sure I'll do a FINE job!  You can't just take that out of the equation!
   Penultimate paragraph.  Alright.  Can you believe this weather?  COLD.  It's gonna get even colder!  IT'S NOT THAT COLD.  I've seen colder.  WHY there was the blizzard of OUGHT EIGHT which smothered both our cars in SEVENTEEN FEET of snow.  There was the time I went to Arctic Circle by accident!  Took the wrong train at Penn Station!  DIDN'T LIKE THOSE THREE MONTHS.  Remember the time where Each Winter It's Getting Warmer because of Global Warming.  And it will cause terrible damage to the planet and all of life Up To And Including US: HUMANS?  Maybe I should make my film a PARABLE for global warming!  SOMEONE'S GOT TO DO IT.  Looks like it's up to me for now!  I lead off this entry saying I Was Done With Writing A Movie.  That was before.  WHAT DO I FIND FUNNY.  MICHAEL.  Not even Me.  The BEST version of Me.  Huh.  I like Plops.  Poo-poo.  Pee-pee.  So that's good.  I don't know what I find funny.  Gotta be HAVING FUN to be HAVING FUNNY.  BE IN FUN and then FUNNINESS WILL FOLLOW.  Interesting theory.  Is it okay if I write that down?  Actually I'd prefer it not leave this room.
   Last paragraph.  Okay!  Last paragraph.  Hmm.  Make the most out of this last paragraph.  Do you realize we only have one more entry to the week?  I GUESS.  DO YOU REALIZE I TALK TO MYSELF BACK AND FORTH LIKE I'M DIFFERENT PEOPLE?  Look at me go!  Doing it right now!  Oh well.  We all got our thing, man!  No judgment.  YOU DO YOU.  Maybe if I do make a movie My Character would have some sort of ongoing inner monologue.  Or just a standard voice over narration.  I dunno.  What am I like in real life.  How would that carry over to movie.  HMM.  It's interesting to think about!  CAN'T QUITE SAY what I'm like in real life on account of a Severance-type set-up.  KINDA FORGET EVERYTHING while I'm writing this!  I guess.  I know it's not great!  Let's see.  Half a paragraph more.  THAT IS ALL!  Even less!  Just a few sentences!  I dunno what the goal of Me is in my movie.  Achieve Success.  Professional.  Family.  Spiritual.   Also he should win the lottery.  I'd like to see me put some more thought into this.  I'd like to see YOU put more thought into this!  Anyway.  That's all for today.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-8:36 P.M.   

Tuesday, January 14, 2025

You Look Busy, I'll Come Back Later

    Hi!  How was your short vacation from me since reading The Website last?  WHAT?  You get TIME AWAY FROM ME?  That sounds like a pretty sweet deal!  Anyway.  Saw Psychiatrist for ten minutes today.  Got that out of the way.  Now I can ENJOY some parts of the rest of my day.  Like writing this entry.  Pretty Fun Stuff!  What's fun about it.  I don't know what I'm gonna say!  That's entertaining to me a little bit.  I don't enjoy that aspect of it.  IN FACT I like the parts where I DO know what I'm gonna say.  I sure seem to say the things I say on purpose as if I had some sort of purpose behind it.  Usually trying to be funny or entertaining.  That's MY GOAL while I'm here.  THAT AND MAKE SENSE.  JUST DON'T BE CONFUSED.  If you can follow the logic of Sentence After Sentence I figure that's a moral victory.  What's my next highest priority.  After Making Sense.  Hmm.  Fulfill All My Earthly Obligations.  Gotta do my part.  Go to my appointments.  Write my entertainments.  Take my trainrides.  Hmm.  Do I have any objectives in life that achieving them would actually make me Happy?
    Yeah!  DO THE THINGS.  YOU'LL SEE.  Ugh.  Life!  I started watching This Is 40 last night.  It's a comedy!  Mostly because it ends in Marriage.  No it doesn't.  Maybe This Time It Does!  I DON'T LIKE how movies these days are different each time you watch 'em!  IS IT TOO MUCH to ask for some consistency!  No.  I guess not.  Anyway.  Let's get working on the entry.  There's so much webspace left to fill with words!  I TRUST ME to write decent enough words!  Done it before, did it again, 'll do it once more!  What the Hell.  So much entry left to write.  So little progress.  So few things to say!  C'mon.  I can come up with things.  Just Think Different.  OH.  BE A DIFFERENT PERSON.  I HEAR YA.  BUT IN A GOOD WAY.  A BETTER PERSON.  THAT'S NOT A BAD SUGGESTION.  Pretty do-able!  Anyway.  What are some good role models I should be emulating.  Hmm.  It's only January.  No one has done anything Role Model-y this year yet.  NO NEWS HEROES OR ANYTHING.  What about A PERSON IN THE ARTS.  Maybe someone entertained me and is a Role Model in that regard.  I LIKE THAT STAR TREK SHOW.  Patrick Stewart sits in a chair most of the time.  Was that this year?  MAYBE TAKES PLACE this year!  Close enough.
    Anyway.  I feel like I wanna work on some music tonight.  Which one of me said that.  Original Shitty Me or Potential New Better Me.  Originally ORIGINAL SHITTY ME.  BUT I may pass the reigns of Actually Doing The Music to Potential New Better Me if he wants to give it a shot.  I don't trust this person.  Oh well.  Guess I'm stuck with myselves.  As long as I do the thing, who cares what version of me it is that's doing it!  Because who I am at the time determines the ultimate nature and quality of the art I produce.  Oh.  Well.  Yeah!  Anyway.  Gotta do this thing first.  WELL GOOD.  WORDS AND SUCH HERE is a worthwhile activity!  Looking forward to GUITARS AND WHATKNOT THERE though.  Guitars.  I don't know how to play the guitar, do I?  Hmm.  I'm gonna be honest-- I'm really not sure!  I'm SURE I can't play it well!  It's possible I can play it Creatively Poorly, though!  Huh.  Everyone's gotta be talented at something.  The Buddha said as much.  I don't remember that sermon.  But then again I've never followed the teachings of The Buddha.  So go figure. 
    Fourth paragraph.  I think Me & Music are a match made in Heaven.  Like Peanut Butter and Bread.  Or Jelly and Bread.  Or Bread and More Bread.  I could go for some bread right around now.  Now that I think about it.  So that's great.  I GUESS.  I WILL BE A, "This Is 40," in 4 years.  Agewise.  Not... uh... Projectwise!  AND I don't even have a family to show for it!  ALL I GOT IS MY CATALOGUE OF PERSONAL SONGS, MY MARBLE COLLECTION, AND THE NUMBER I'VE BEEN COUNTING TO SINCE 2005.  NO SPOILERS BUT WE'RE GETTIN' THERE.  Huh.  Anyway.  Gonna learn something about myself from the music I create!  I hope it's True & Complicated.  Is that really what I hope.  Or is that just what was the dumb first thought that came into my mind.  Hmm.  Dumb First Thought.  I hope it's Funny & Relevant.  Dumb Second Thought.  I hope it's Accurate & Familiar.  Dumb Third Thought.  I hope it's Personal & Personable.  Well, anyway.  Let's keep going.  Sexy & Even Sexier.  Fifth thought!  NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.  Where.  My Tonight Music Project being too hot for TV.  Oh.  There. 
    Fifth paragraph.  Anyway.  They advertised VHS Tapes that were, "Too Hot For TV," all the time when I was a kid but where do you think they were ultimately playing those VHS's.  ON TV'S.  Something doesn't add up here!  No Michael it means they can't play the content of the tapes on BROADCAST TV.  Most people can't handle all this cursing and nudity.  Anyway.  Cursing?  I don't think ANY of these tapes focus in on cursing.  HEY.  I BOUGHT THE LATEST HARDCORE CUSSING TAPE.  THIS 2 HOUR TAPE HAS THREE HUNDRED SHITS, FIVE HUNDRED FUCKS, NINE HUNDRED DAMNS, AND TWO NEW CURSE WORDS NEVER-BEFORE-HEARD BY MAN.  Anyway.  Let's gather around the TV and watch people say Asshole.  Anyway.  There's a plot point in Meet The Fockers where Ben Stiller teaches a baby by accident to say his first word Asshole.  I REALLY DOUBT any baby's first word is gonna be a compound word!  This movie just lost all credibility with me.  I don't think any of it really happened at all now that I think about it!  Huh.  I have an entire HALF THE ENTRY left to write!  Great!  Maybe it'll be better than the first half!
   That reminds me of a funny story.  WHAT DOES.  WHAT STORY.  REMIND WHO.  Well, "ME."  I knew the answer to THAT question!  I AM THE PERSON INVOLVED IN ALL PARTS OF THIS ENTRY.  But I don't know any Funny Stories or even Any Inspiration To Any Funny Stories.  Whatever.  Let's see.  What else is up.  Maybe I should come up with a funny story FOR A FILM.  AND WRITE A SCREENPLAY. I like DOING THINGS.  Okay.  That's a good idea Outta Nowhere.  I have a couple of ideas in the back of my skull.  I don't know if that's a thing though.  Anyway.  Probably should write a story semi-based on my life?  That seems to be what 80% Of Comedies are in this century?  THAT CAN'T BE.  MY LIFE IS TOO HOT FOR T.V.  That's what Streaming is for I guess.  I didn't know until JUST NOW what it was for!  Where should I make my home.  NETFLIX?  Nah.  Hulu?  Don't think so!  Amazon Prime?  Get real!  Apple Plus?  LET'S CIRCLE BACK TO THAT.  Seems like the place for artists to be.  I READ AT LEAST TWO people say nice things about it within the last month!  Anyway.  What's my problem with TUBI.  I don't have a problem with TUBI PER SAY. 
   Seventh paragraph.  Four paragraphs to go.  Maybe rope Someone A.K.A. My Brother into working on it with me.  He's not in, "The Business," but guess what he went to college for?  DRAMATIC WRITING FILM.  I've crunched the numbers and that's Exactly Screenwriting.  Gotta imagine that'd be useful as a Screenwriting Partner.  Also his voice is MUCH LIKE MINE.  Lots of Sounding Alike when we talk!  I dunno.  Anyway.  I don't think he wants to write a film with me.  I think he wants to do his own thing.  That's fine!  I don't wanna write a film with me, either!  120 pages?  Do you realize how much work that is?  Yes, you probably do, in page form-- 120!  Hmm.  I could always end the movie 10 minutes early.  Write 110 page script.  THAT SOLVES NOTHING.  What's it about anyway.  What makes MY SCREENPLAY better than OTHER SCREENPLAYS.  Cause it's got... I COULD TELL YOU... but you'll just have to wait and see!  Wouldn't wanna spoil it!  Let the movie be a spoil to itself!  That's what films are generally supposed to be like this decade, right?  LET DOWNS?
   Three paragarphs to go.  I WENT THERE.  I've liked most of the films I've seen in theaters this decade.  MORE THAN 50%!!  More than 50% did I like more than 50%!  I think.  Sort of.  I guess.  Not exactly a golden age we're living in, though!  WHATEVER.  I guess today's entry wasn't so wonderful in the end.  We're not in the end yet.  Got three paragraphs to go.  Wonderful.  I have a few paragraphs to REDEEM MYSELF.  What happens then.  WELL either I'm Redeemed or I'm Not.  So either I'm Happy About Being Redeemed or I'm Not!  WE'LL SEE.  Hmm.  Maybe some people find me Redeemed while some people find me Irredeemed.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Everybody should get the same thing out of the Thing!  That's my impression of how culture should work!  Let's all relate to each other by interpreting Movie a similar way!  IT'S FUN.  Sounds reasonable.  I guess SOME movies you can go into trying to come out of it with a unique impression and whatknot.  But most movies are pretty Standard!  Just watch it and relate to the person sitting next to you!
    That's good.  Could be worse.  How would my movie make people relate to their next door movie theater neighbor exactly.  CAN'T SAY.  If I tell you now, you might start Relating Prematurely!  Gotta wait for the movie to come out!  Anyway.  What's the closest thing I've written to a movie.  The New Monkees pilot.  What's the second closest thing I've written to a movie.  Co-wrote a 45 page script Return Of The Living Dead IV when I was 10 years old with Internet Acquaintance who was a teenager.  So what I'm hearing is I want to write a film that's The New Monkees meets Zombies.  Well in an ideal world that's be an option but not the best one.  I have nothing to add to ZOMBIE.  What if it's more of an Invasion Of the Body Snatcher Vibe.  Still.  Not my favorite.  I WANNA DO YOU KNOW JUST A FILM ABOUT A REGULAR GUY WHO DOES REGULAR THINGS.  YOU KNOW LIKE PINOCCHIO.  Pinocchio was NOT a regular guy.  That's the whole point.  That's a metaphor for ACTUALLY BEING a regular guy though.  Is it?  I dunno!  Maybe!  You didn't hear it from me! 
    Last paragraph!  This entry took forever to write.  I don't have lots of time to work on music tonight!  Should try to do something.  Who cares.  Surprisingly Someone!  At Least Me!  So that's good.  What's my alternative.  THERE IS NONE.  GO TO BED.  I don't wanna do that at 8 PM.  My Pill Taking Time is 9 PM!  THERE IS A SCHEDULE TO FOLLOW.  WE ALL MUST FOLLOW THE SCHEDULE.  You don't have to follow my schedule.  Well you have to abide by ME Following My Schedule.  Follow along as I Follow My Schedule!  Fun.  Anyway.  Half a paragraph to go.  Let's make the most of it!  By which I mean I'll keep writing and you'll keep reading!  How is that making the most of it.  I hate reading this.  I WANNA WRITE IT and YOU READ IT.  That's what I sai... YOU REA... I'll wri... I AM WRITING I... THE PERSON WHO'S TYPING NOW IS M... anyway.  You get it.  I could watch one of those movies tonight.  A Return Of The Living Dead.  They're evergreen!  So that's good.  I haven't seen some of the newer entries in the series.  Probably don't have the same charm as the first two or three!  Who needs 'em!  THESE NEW ROLD ZOMBIES AREN'T WINNING OVER HEARTS AND MINDS like Return Of The Living Dead I and Return Of The Living Dead II zombies did.  Anyway.  See ya tomorrow!  Eh.  Whatever.  Okay.  Why not.

-6:55 P.M.   

Monday, January 13, 2025

Every Seventh Thing Could Be Funny

    Hey! Now would be a good time for inspiration to strike!  Ten 'graphs worth!  PARA-graphs!  Starting today's entry a little bit late because I was pre-occupied with watching Thirty Rock.  Where do they come up with this Stuff.  THE PAST.  Oh people were real clever back then.  Anyway.  Gonna be interrupted with an Internet Super Market Delivery in a couple of hours.  Odds are I'll be mid-entry.  WELL... let's get to it... Entry... let's talk about the plot points of my life lately!  Had an improv class yesterday.  Mostly went okay!  I did make a reference to being scared of The Red Man in a scene about covered wagons times, not the rapper, but The American Indian, because I'm an idiot, and now I look like an Asshole to everybody.  I KNEW while I was saying it WHY AM I DOING THIS.  Maybe I wanted to sabotage myself.  Because I wanted to FEEL SOMETHING.  Feeling Stupid For Saying The Wrong Thing is A Thing To Feel, Sure!  Anyway.  I did feel shitty about it for about an hour after I said it, for real!  Then I stopped caring!  BUT I know now going into future scenes don't say things people might be offended on because In The End YOU'LL Be The One Who Feels Bad.  Doesn't Seem Fair But That's The Rub.
    Otherwise class went great!  I'm still dumber than everyone but I do my best.  Who cares about smart this or dumb that.  Intelligence as a factor isn't as important as you might think.  INSTINCT IS EVERYTHING.  I don't have Good That either!  Anyway.  The good news is I TINK I can start imagining this phase of my life I'm in with this class.  Roughly picture How Seriously I'm To Take This Class.  Not Exactly So Much But A Little.  I'm not ready to Form Improv Team and I'm not gonna be Thinking About Improv Every Day Of The Week but Improv Class is gonna be a RELEVANT day of the week to me each time it rolls around!  WOW.  Is Improv Class relevant To The Reader Of This Entry.  Well, uh, sure!  If I'm invested in it somewhat lifewise, surely you'd be even SOMEHWHAT MORE invested in it.  You're here because you're a SUPERFAN of my life presumably.  REALLY INTO THE WEEDS with it. Huh.  Is That How This Works?  No.  That can't be right.  Except for maybe a small minority.  I dunno.  Wow.  I never really thought about it that way.  Superfans.  Probably should downgrade themselves to just regular fans of me!  That's my personal position on myself!
    Who cares.  Anyway.  Worked on some music over the weekend.  Made two ~15 minute long tracks of short bits and pieces that were really crappy but definitely a step in the right direction.  I'm getting better as time goes on!  That's a good way for a person to live their life.  Better than getting worse, like how History Is Unfolding!  Maybe THINGS are getting worse, but PEOPLE are getting better.  What People.  Any Subset you want.  Or Set.  Or superset.  I Don't Know.  People OF ALL SORTS may or may not be getting better, the same, or worse!  Hmm.  I'm starting to get better at dealing with Improv Classmates because I'm noticing certain types of people.  REPEATS.  And it's like Oh you seem familiar to me because I've dealt with a person with similar superficial qualities to you as in a previous class so I'm kind of comfortable with you now.  Maybe I'm just PROJECTING these qualities.  COULD BE everyone is Very Unique but I can't personally see What Makes People What.  What does make people what.  Hmm.  Probably what they look like.  The music they listen to.  Maybe the sports and games they're interested in.
    Fourth paragraph.  Great.  Talked to my brother about seeing a Mets game sometime this year.  Who will they be playing.  THE ENEMY.  I re-watched Almost Famous during Winter Vacation.  Of all the aspects Of, Within, and/or Nearby To The Film... the thing that ACTUALLY got Almost Famous The Most was THE TITLE itself.  Almost Famous is a VERY FAMOUS FILM TITLE.  But every other part of the film is Just Kind Of Famous.  But people Really Remember The Title.  Almost Famous, the name to the film, people gonna remember for a long time.  THIS IS A LOGICAL STATEMENT IN MY HEAD.  Anyway.  I basically was just watching it as a soundtrack of great songs.  And great actors acting.  Mostly just getting into the groove of the Audio.  I hope they won the academy award for Best Sound Editing, that's how deeply I fell into the POCKET!  Huh.  What else is going on.  Oh.  Okay.  Everything.  I get it.  It's all happening.  I KNOW.  I should rephrase that THING I WROTE about The Almost Famous Title into a JOKE about how, the title at least, to Almost Famous, is Actually Famous.  That at least is HUMOURCODED.  GREAT.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
   Watched the Fockerverse over the last week.  Ben Stiller sure seems to want to get on the good side of Roger De Niro.  HE LOVES HIS MATE THAT MUCH.  That's his motive I assume for much of the trilogy.  Anyway.  OH NO.  We've reached the portion of the evening where I have to start being prepared to Accept Super Market Delivery.  It's a little sadder.  A little less loose.  I feel like I don't want to be here as much as I did back when I didn't have Delivery Hanging Over My Head. Then again there's An Internet Map.  So I have some idea When It's Close!  Great.  I hope its here soon.  That way I can focus on WHAT'S NEXT.  Got a Psychiatry Appointment tomorrow afternoon.  Might make me start writing later than usual.  Anyway.  I STILL GOTTA WRITE HALF AN ENTRY.  You know what?  That's not the worst thing in the world!  "THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD," is a Good Tourist Attraction Pit Stop when you're driving down the highway though.  I WONDER WHAT IT IS SPECIFICALLY.
   Hmm.  DOES IT MATTER.  If It Is As It Says and TRULY IS The Worst Thing In The World I GOTTA SEE THIS SHIT!!  Alright.  Dangit.  Five paragraphs to go.  I like paragraphs!  That's where JOKES HAPPEN.  My Improv Mind ought to be able to come up with A The Worst Thing In The World.  A SINK HOLE.  That's not CREATIVE.  I CAME UP WITH SOMETHING.  THAT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW.  People talk about draining the swamp but I'm all about Clogging Up The Sink Hole.  Throw some 2 x 4's in there.  Everyone knows the more you feed a sinkhole the quicker it stops eating everything up.  AT THE VERY LEAST CAN'T KEEP SINKING NEW THINGS IF IT'S STILL BUSY SINKING THE THING THAT YOU THREW IT FROM LAST TIME.  Huh.  Five and a half paragraphs to go.  WHAT WILL I CHOOSE TO SAY.  Let's see.  I don't think I know!  GOOD.  Good things come from Relative Randomness all the time!  This ain't random at all.  THIS IS AS PREDICTABLE AS THEY COME.  Oh.  Sorry.  IT'S OKAY!  Can you believe the Super Market Delivery still ain't on the map.  NO.  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
    Seventh Paragraph!  What can I believe in.  THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JOHN BON JOVI.  He's okay.  I don't hate The Band Bon Jovi!  I had a friend in college who loved Bon Jovi.  I Buried The Lead there.  I HAD A FRIEND.  Is it Lead or Lede.  Either one seems justifiable!  In a professional context I wouldn't love being in a situation I had to choose because I'd feel 50% odds I'm Wrong, but IN A NO STAKES SITUATION I feel like I CAN'T LOSE because either one feels fine LOGICALLY.  So that's good.  Okay.  Great.  How's everything going with everybody.  Everybody having a good time?  Looks like everything out there On Earth is still the same as it was BEFORE.  Thumbs DOWN.  Maybe that's all I have to say when it comes down to it.  I don't know SPECIFICALLY what else is on my mind!  Hmm.  I guess.  Three more paragraphs coming up!  MAYBE I'LL KNOW WHAT'S ON MY MIND THEN.  I actually think I'm starting to Grow Things On My Mind RIGHT NOW.  Oh okay.  Didn't think that'd ever happen again.  Thought my mind was Frozen Over.
    GRASS.  I CAN PICTURE GRASS A-GROWING.  IT'S COMING ALONG.  It figures I'd picture that!  Anyway.  Delivery Is Out For Delivery.  Ugh.  Apparently Chevy Chase got kicked off Community the last season or two.  Apparently it's because he said and/or did bad things to Donald Glover.  About him being black.  WHAT DID HE SAY.  WHAT WE'RE ALL THINKING?  What are we all thinking.  I DON'T KNOW.  I TRULY HAD NOTHING IN MIND.  HONEST.  I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY.  BECAUSE NONE OF US COULD TRULY SAY WE HAD ANYTHING IN MIND.  SO IT WAS AN ABSURD STATEMENT.  ...LEMME RE-READ EVERYTHING I JUST TYPED TO SEE IF THERE'S ANY CHANCE IT WORKED. ...YES.  I THINK I'M GONNA KEEP IT.  I HOPE IT LANDS AS WELL WITH YOU AS IT DID WITH ME (3/5 JOKE)  Anyway.  Race.  SLOW DOWN.  IT'S NOT A Race.  I'm sorry.  I think Chevy Chase said Everyone Laughs At Donald Glover More Because He's Black.  I don't get it!  Why would you say that to someone!  Because he wanted to be an asshole that day.  Oh.  Donald Glover should get to say something Assholish to Chevy Chase in return.  I don't think he wants to.  HE'S DOING ACTING WRONG.
    Penultimate paragraph.  I GET IT, THERE ARE TWO PARAGRAPHS TO GO.  Ya don't need to use your fancy, "PENULTIMATE," grad-school vocabulary at me.  I guess.  Ah well.  What do I got in store for tonight.  Whatever it is, surely you should know all about it!  I probably won't work on any music!  Maybe tomorrow night!  I think I can get better at music exponentially if I really put my mind to it!  Not even put my mind to it.  If I put EVERYTHING ELSE to it.  And My Mind Just Came Along For The Ride.  Everything Else is a lot to Put To.  If I dream it I can do it.  Makes Sense... I guess.  Right now all I wanna do is finish this and watch TV with the remaining hours I have for the day.  It's not the most ambitious plan.  Anyway.  There's one Improver in my class who at first I thought was the worst but now I think might be one of the best?  She's TERRIBLE but KIND OF IN MY FREQUENCY in a way!  Then again, I wouldn't trust her to progress a scene if I'm stuck or something.  She's just as lost as I am when creating a base reality.  But I like watching the directions she goes in!
    The end is near!  One paragraph left!  Anything can happen!  What Happens In Concluding Paragraphs Stays In Concluding Paragraphs!  THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.  Great.  I don't like having to take three to four bathroom breaks per improv class!  It's embarrassing and disrespectful!  It's just Human Nature At Work.  Gotta expel urine.  PEOPLE UNDERSTAND.  So that's good.  THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.  But when I left to use the bathroom, I thought I picked up some negative glances here and there in my peripheral vision!  So it's hard to say completely What People Do Or Don't Understand!  Ugh.  Looks like it'll be close but I'll finish the entry before the delivery comes.  AWESOME.  I DID A GREAT JOB WITH THE ENTRY.  I RATE IT A SOLID, "I READ IT FOR SOME REASON AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYMORE."  Or in numbers a 4 out of 10.  Because I'm thinking I'll be nice in a harsh way.  I'm being CRUEL AND HONEST with myself, so it's a bad mark, but I'm NICE about it, so it's not a 2 or 3 which is what I really deserve.  It's a 4.  So.  Anyway.  That's pretty good!  Nobody's happy with that!  See ya tomorrow!

-6:41 P.M.  

Thursday, January 9, 2025

NOW IS NOT THE TIME

    Hi, friends!  I DELETED all the sodas I was gonna order from Weekly Super Market Delivery.  ALL 11 OF THEM.  That's because I still have so much left over from last week in my house!  ALL THE FLAVORS.  Anyway.  Let's get going.  I got to think about what I want to talk about this entry.  Wait a second.  Okay.  I can think.  I don't know yet.  I thought for seven seconds.  I'm gonna start typing some more.  OKAY.  I can abbreviate it, "S'more."  SURE.  EVERYONE SHOULD TYPE S'MORE.  We need stenography practice because one day that might be a thing we have to do.  Alright.  S'more.  S'MORE.  S'More.  AM I PLAYING THE GAME CORRECTLY.  What The Hell.  I don't like this game!  ANYWAY.  THE THING ABOUT THAT IS I NEED TO WRITE S'MORE.  I'm stuck in the first paragraph and I got places to go and shits to be.  Alright.  I guess I should start closing things up.  BUT WE STILL HAVE NINE+ PARAGRAPHS TO GO.  That's a long time to be ending things.  Anyway.  WHAT'S going on with all you nice folks these days.  NINE+ PARAGRAPHS TO GO.  Anyway.  I don't know.  This paragraph may not be the best. 
   I'M WITH ME ON THAT.  But not on many other things.  ANYWAY.  What's new in my life.  Michael E. E. LastName's Life.  Doing pretty good generally.  I think I'm happy with the direction this is going in.  As long as I keep typing!  Things are going I wanna say great!  I guess.  I mean, I'm making progress.  I'm getting from one side of the screen With Words to the other side.  I'm watching this happen!  I'm getting from one point of the afternoon to the other point of the afternoon!  I'M ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING.  That's good.  Accomplish me a better entry CAUSE I'M SICK OF IT.  WHAT.  YOU'RE SICK OF IT?  BUT YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PRIDE I TAKE IN THIS ENTRY.  I THOUGHT WE WERE COMPADRES.  How could you say that.  Anyway.  I need to make Better Choices this weekend.  About the entertainment I'm consuming mainly.  But also about lots of other things.  I NEED TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT.  Anyway.  What are my options for weekend activities precisely.  Well you know about television?  ALL OF IT.  I can watch anything that's shown on television more or less.  Well how can I possibly go wrong with that as my main options.  I don't know!
    THIRD paragraph?  Good things come in threes!  I guess.  Where Am I.  I just woke up and I was writing this entry.  Do you know my parents.  I was just watching Meet The Fockers last night.  The Fockers are NOT SO DIFFERENT than my parents.  In that they are HUMANS of PLANET EARTH.  And also they bear many similarities beyond that! I'M CONVINCED.  Dustin Hoffman I GUESS is Father now.  I'M NOT 100% HAPPY ABOUT IT.  Now that I think about it, I don't think I wanna go down that road.  Dustin Hoffman. NOPE.  NOT MY FATHER!  What the Hell.  Still got 7.5 paragraphs left to write.  This is gonna take forever.  GOOD.  Because This Forever Will End.  Then there's a Forever After This Forever to look forward to.  Which BTW Is THE REAL FOREVER.  Okay.  Why does Everything Feel Like Forever to me though.  Poor quality of what I tend to experience.  Oh that thing.  I guess when I don't like what I'm going through it seems to take longer is the implication.  Oh yeah.  Okay.  I GUESS ANOTHER PARAGRAPH THAT HISTORY WILL FORGET.  Why.  Why write mediocre paragraphs.  I dunno.  I'm building up to something!
     Fourth paragraph.  GOTTA FIGURE AT THIS POINT I'm ready to write something good and/or funny.  THANKS.  I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE IN ME AND IT REALLY BRIGHTENS MY DAY.  HAVE A STICK OF GUM.  I still believe in me!  I Will Write Something Funny Yet!  You know what it's like to be in my head?  I'm in that state of... you know Tasmanian Devil when he's twisting around really fast?  Causing up a windstorm?   That's what it's like to be me.  In fact Windstorm is my X-Man name.  Harness the power of the wind.  WIND, ACTIVATE.  That sort of thing.  I don't know why X-Men would ever want OR NEED Windstorm.  They already have a Regular Storm.  That makes things difficult.  STORM MY ASS.  WE WANT WINDSTORM.  Anyway.  Windstorm and Storm peacefully co-exist and have a nice semi-adversarial relationship.  Who is the better Storm.  The one who's PLAIN or the one augmented BY WIND.  So that's good.  I don't know.  Guess I'm down to six more paragraphs to write!  Maybe it's for the best I'm stuck here writing this.  If I didn't give the world these paragraphs, it'd have no idea what I was getting wrong about it today.
    Hmm.  I GUESS.  Six paragraphs coming up!  This is what I gotta do today!  WHY NOT DO IT WELL.  Okay.  I'll try!  YOU THERE START READING FROM PAGE 18.  Okay.  Lemme get my book out.  Didn't anticipate being called on.  Give me a second.  NAH.  I don't think I'm gonna start reciting words from a Random Book.  MAKE UP WORDS MAYBE.  Then again, Maybe Not.  I don't feel comfortable putting words into a book's mouth.  Why not.  BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST MYSELF TO COME UP WITH GOOD ENOUGH WORDS THAT WOULD HONOR THE BOOK.  So Really It's not the book's problem when you think about it.  It's My Words really.  YEAH.  I GUESS.  What the Fuck.  5.5 more paragraphs to go?  I guess I can do okay with them!  I wonder what it'll be like to be in the next paragraph.  Same sorts of words but different order.  Meaning different things.  TOTALLY DIFFERENT CONTENT.  Wow.  I can't wait!  Hey, I just PICTURED BEING THERE, but then found myself back here!  In the fifth paragraph!  WELL.  It's over NOW at least!  ...  Yeah.  In a minute!  ... Now!
    Halfway through the entry.   Great.  Websitewise, ONE EIGHTH of the week left.  What a fraction! OK.  Lemme gather by bearings.  Take note of my surroundings.  I appear to be in some sort of Escape Room of which there is no escape.  Escape Rooms are the things where you go with your friends and they're like Can You get out of here in 2 hours?  It's A Game!  And if you do you get your money back.  I wana play that game!  I've always just enjoyed LEAVING places.  My favorite thing at parties is when I get to go.  Makes sense I'd sign up for a game where the object is To Figure Out How To Get Out Of There.  I think it's more fun because you're working with your friends on puzzles and stuff.  What The Hell.  FRIENDS?  PUZZLES? I DISLIKE THAT SORT OF THING.  Unless there's SOME STAKES to it.  Like WATCHING Celebrity Friend Puzzle on NBC.  Oh.  Well that's something people would watch.  Celebrities doing Jigsaws.  Makes sense to me.  Anyway.  What's fun about watching Celebrities Do Jigsaws?  What if they try to jig a piece that just doesn't saw?  HOW WILL THEY DEAL. 
   Seventh paragraph.  Alright.  I guess I'm gonna write four more paragraphs.  What's the initial response To Windstorm!  People excited about Windstorm?  YES.  VERY MUCH SO.  LOOK AT THIS GRAPH.  Anyway.  That graph sucked.  Next time you show me a graph, i wanna see better graphs outta you!  HUH.  I THOUGHT IT CONVEYED RELEVANT INFORMATION.  Are we talking about the same graph?  The one I saw looked like my kid's ninth grade algebra homework.  ALGEBRA?  THIS IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL.  I call em like I see em.  That graph was the pits.  What the Hell.  Let's move on!  Love to.  Move On Where.  Second half of the paragraph!  OK MADE IT.  Let's Begin.  Ugh.  Why can't I just Be Myself.  I don't mean that in the sense as Why can't I not be a FOLLOWER and START BEING MORE INDIVIDUALISTIC. I mean that in the sense as Why can't I Not Be MULTIPLE PEOPLE and LITERALLY JUST BE MY ONE SELF.  Oh.  Multiple People Is more convenient.  One True Self, not sure about that guy's personality.  WHAT DOES HE EVEN WANT TO SAY when it comes down to it!  WHO CARES.  THAT GUY'S A JERK.
    IT'S TRUE HE IS I mean I AM.  Well, anyway.  Three paragraphs to go.  SAY SOMETHING.  Okay-- I don't wanna be flipping through the dictionary these days.  That could be a fun activity.  Just flip through the dictionary at random looking at words FOR MEANING.  But I don't think I'm gonna do it in the near future!  You might be getting meaningful words but maybe it's not the best thing that you really need right now!  NOT LOOKING AT THE DICTIONARY is a Michael Pick Of The Season.  Unless you need it, ya know, in the traditional sense.  Go For It in that case!  Flipping through other books is still OK.  I wouldn't report your results TO THE INTERNET, though.  Anyway.  OKAY.  I guess.  I looked at the dictionary before this entry.  Oh.  But I don't do it OFTEN.  What book would be even better than the Dictionary at Showing Me Words At Random.  Hmm.  Words At Random.  Do they publish books that ARE just words at random?  They COULD.  Maybe I'll look into that.  WELL the fun thing about Words At Random is you can flip through it randomly and then the Words At Random AT RANDOM could start to make sense and you're like Hey I'm Having A Fun Surprising Time With This.
   Penultimate paragraph.  NO I DON'T THINK I WANT TO READ A BOOK OF RANDOM WORDS.  Suit yourself.  I don't like any of these entries this week.  But now I know these sequences of words DON'T work so I won't use them again next week!  Hmm.  Only two paragraphs to go.  Then, a shitty weekend!  I KNOW.  I'LL WATCH TV.  THAT NEVER WORKS.  Maybe I can listen to music then.  I'm a fan of that kind of entertainment, as well!  Great.  Entertainment.  Weekend.  Music.  Artists.  I'll keep you updated on this situation as it progresses.  I want to find new Artists to be a fan of.  I don't know enough REFERENCES musically.  What if I had to refer to a piece of music in an improv scene or something!  I don't have wide enough knowledge in my mind to pick from!  Better listen to new music now!  Whatever ya gotta tell yourself.  Anyway.  Almost done with the entry!  I guess.  Not sure I loved today's entry.  GOOD.  Don't love MYSELF.  Why should I love WHAT I GET TO EXPERIENCE.  But I love all of you.  I want you to have a good time.  Oh.  Lemme write you a good conclusion.
   I DON'T LOVE A LOT OF YOU.  In fact MOST OF YOU ARE PRICKS.  I guess.  Love is a many splendored thing.  Not like just one or two splendored.  MANY SPLENDORED.  Anyway.  Gotta LOVE YOURSELF first.  I don't even know 100% if Other People Exist!  How can I love you if I doubt your existence!  Well Yeah!  IT MAKES SENSE.  Anyway.  I dunno.  Everything exists.  I'm sure.  That's be creepy.  I've been counting on at least half of this being some sort of daydream.  Let's say Everything Exists.  Or, ya know, everything YOU'D THINK EXISTS exists.  Good.  Let's go with that.  WHAT DO YOU THINK EXISTS.  I kinda know what I think exists.  What the Hell are your working theories.  What words do you see when you flip through the dictionary.  Let's get a colab going.  Anyway.  I shuold try to do something productive this weekend.  Yeah.  That won't happen.  What if I watched THE RIGHT T.V.  Is that productive enough?  Well it's a step in the right direction.  Anyway.  I'll be back next week. 

-6:54 P.M. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2025

This Guy Knows What I'm Talking About

    Hey!  Entry time.  A daunting ten paragraphs ahead of us.  I don't like it!  I wish instead of writing TEN paragraphs, I had something easier to do, like eat an ice cream cone or something.  What if I can TRICK myself into equating Writing Entry to Eating Ice Cream Cone.  Good.  I'm A Dummy.  I could see myself falling for that one!  Anyway.  Woke up at the crack of 8 A.M. to go to therapist appointment this morning.  It was okay.  Just said, "Yes," and, "No," a lot.  Actually, mostly, "The Same."  That's by far the most common answer I gave.  How's this going in your life.  THE SAME.  How's that going in your life.  THE SAME.  Everything's always the same!  So it goes Every Month.  And it's TRUE.  Everything is always MORE OR LESS the same.  Maybe intensity of paranoia this month was at an eight instead of a six last month.  So what!  EVERYTHING IS THE SAME WHEN YOU ROUND OFF.  Put on some 30 Rock this morning.  I was enjoying Community but wanted to mix it up.  I dunno!  Weird to watch multiple TV Shows in the same day!  How did we used to do this in olden times!  Feels weird.  I BET most people still do it.  LET'S GET SOME ACTION GOING.
   Maybe I should start playing online poker .  That's one way I can subsidize my lifestyle.  WIN AT GAMBLING.  What if I don't win.  GOD WOULDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.  Of course he would.  What have I done that would bring me into God's Good Graces.  Hmm. Well... I... uh... OFFICIATED WEDDINGS.  I... FED DESTITUTE PEOPLE!  I... CHANGED THE DIAPERED!  Michael those were all Improv Scenes.  Oh.  Okay.  I obviously don't remember wearing diapers but I'm sure I did when I was a baby.  Probably had a pretty good time with it, too!  Kinda sounds fun, doesn't it?  When being changed, are babies generally like (A) Sorry about this or (B) yeah you like changing this dirty diaper don't you.  I think I'd be a Sorry About This baby but you don't really know until you're in that situation.  Anyway.  Just accepted bakery delivery.  Now my schedule for the rest of the day is wide open.  Free to do whatever I want with the time I have left!  Waht did I get from bakery. ME PERSONALLY?  Vanilla Vanilla cupcake.  Vanilla cake.  Vanilla frosting!  Oh.  I regret asking.  What a waste of ten seconds of my life.
    Okay!  I asked because What If The Answer Was FUNNY SOMEHOW.  I had to take that chance!  It's possible I had some answer that was specific and amusing and possibly somehow relevant to the rest of the entry.  Oh.  Nope.  Sorry.  Anyway.  Starting to start wearing masks less in public places.  Public Transportation is still Me Wearing A Mask.  Eateries and Whatknot are maskless though.  Doctors Offices are still a Mask.  But Your Mom's Bed is now maskless.  WHY.  WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY MOM.  I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.  Just a lesson-- you can't trust anyone in this town!  Always gotta be on your guard!  Don't say I didn't warn ya!  I'M GONNA SAY NO ONE WARNED ME.  Ok, sure.  Bought my mom cigarettes today.  The store clerk threw in some lighters for free.  Do you want two lighters or three lighters?  WHY wouldn't I want More Free Stuff as compared to Less Free Stuff.  What kind of question is that.  Which lighter do you want.  And he gestured to the different colored lighters.  I'm not eight years old.  I'm not creating a Color Theme for my nighttable.  The color of the lighter is inconsequential!  That being said you got any green?
   Ain't even FOR me.  Maybe my Mom would care the color of the lighter.  I dunno what kind of idiotic things go on in other peoples' brains.  Probably weird stuff.  Anyway.  Speaking of fire, lots of fires going on in L.A.  I don't get it!  How can fire spread that much.  Just STOP IT.  A million ways to prevent fire from spreading.  Just make it stand still in the first place!  Don't let it start to spread TO BEGIN WITH.  Have it contained FROM THE START.  There, solved that problem.  ALRIGHT.  I think I like the latest new smoking marijuana I got but not the edibles.  Just kinda makes me TIRED.  By the end of the entry I'm not tired anymore.  But while I'm writing the entry I'm just Yawning Both In Practice And Just In Spirit.  COULD BE THE EDIBLES.  COULD BE THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON.  JANUARY.  We're in January!  Boringest month of them all!  We just had DECEMBER which is when we have Happy New Years AND Jesus's Big Birthday Bash but now we're stuck with The Bummer Of Winter With None Of The Benefits.  Also ENTIRE YEAR ahead of us.  We gotta live a fuckin 12 months of this shit.  Some of Happy New Years is in January.  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.  Questioning me on Happy New Years.  People these days think they can just pipe in whenever they want!
   Fifth paragraph.  I dunno.  I think people these days probably are more prone to think they CAN'T pipe in whenever they want!  SPEAK UP PEOPLE.  YOU HAVE THE RIGHT.  It's a free country!  IT IS?  AWESOME.  I'LL TAKE THE SURF AND TURF AND A SIDE OF LOBSTOR THERMIDOR AND FOR DESSERT A CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH GILDED TRUFFLES.  Free country doesn't mean everything is free of purchase.  It means people in it are free to Speak Up And Pipe In With Whatever They Want.  Oh that's nice too.  What's lobster thermidor.  Some sort of cheese contraption?  YEAH.  Can I order steak by just saying I'll Have The Turf please, medium well, with a baked potato.  Whatever.  What the Hell is wrong with this Edible.  It's not making me Regular High.  Or if not The Edible being responsible, some other faulty wiring in my brain.  Or A Mishap Of Chemistry.  Something's off!  I think I personally hold Alec Baldwin TOO Responsible for the murders he did.  He's not REALLY a murderer, is he?  In my mind I watch 30 Rock and part of me thinks I don't like this guy anymore.  WELL before this murder incident we weren't sure on Alec Baldwin because he was a dick to his kid on the phone.  WE ALWAYS had reason to not like Alec Baldwin!  So nothing new on that front now that I think about it.
   Halfway through the entry!  Anyway.  Entry tomorrow and then I get a weekend!  Great!  I dunno.  STILL not too late for me to see Wicket in theaters.  Or I could see Nosferatu.  Or maybe The Lion Kang.  WELL anyway.  I never saw ANY Lion Kings.  Animated.  Practical Effects.  Live.  Musical.  NONE!  WELL I played the first half of level one of a Lion King Sega Genesis Video Game in my Orthodontists office when I was getting braces.  MADE IT THAT FAR into the LionKingverse.  Must have seen Half an episode at least of a Timon and Pumbaa based TV show in the Disney Channel.  OR I DREAMT IT.  OR I SAW A BUNCH OF COMMERCIALS FOR IT IN A ROW.  Anyway.  What a shitty video game set up they had.  Because they wanted to encourage patients to share, the game would shut off and default back to the start up screen after playing it for 90-120 seconds or so.  You could never make any progress in the game.  Kinda unfair if you're the last appointment of the day and you're the only person in the waiting room.  HEY YEAH IT IS.  When I was a kid I couldn't do anything about it BUT NOW I'M A MAN and I want to fight this injustice!  Still.  What can I Do.  THAT ATTITUDE LOST US VIETNAM.  YOU YELLING AT PEOPLE IS WHAT LOST US VIETNAM.  EASE UP A BIT AND LET ME BREATHE.
    If everyone was just QUIETER we would WIN MORE WARS.  These spicy chicken fries have got a kick.  Alright.  Great.  Just had one out of the fridgerator.  WELL GOOD.  Four paragraphs to go.  I think one day I'm gonna write a good entry again probably around February.  Oh great!  In the mean time.  I tried watching Severance but I got scared even before anything scary even really had a chance to happen.  It was spooky even from the opening sequence!  But, yeah.  Seems like it'd freak me out a bit.  What's a good show that won't freak me out.  Hmm.  First of all it should be black and white.  COLORS are a bit much for me.  Second of all no sound is preferable.  Third of all everyone is 20-50.  Fourth of all NOT TOO MALE, NOT TOO FEMALE.  OR REALLY REALLY MALE AND/OR REALLY REALLY FEMALE.  But it'd have to be REALLY.  Anyway that show WOULDN'T freak me out.  What show am I describing.  What The Hell Am I Talking About.
    Yeah!  That show actually sounds like the freakiest shit I've ever heard of in my life!  More or less.  I guess.  Before black and white TV and films did they have JUST BLACK and/or JUST WHITE shows?  Gotta make progress somehow!  My bet would be that in 1900 they had movies JUST MADE OUT OF BLACK.  So just a black screen then?  WELL.  I GUESS.  Don't see how else it could be...  Anyway.  When I close my eyes I mostly see Just Black.  I went through periods of my life where I 10% saw Cool Things like bright colors and lights and whatknot.  Haven't been around so much anymore!  Now I see NOTHING! Not really looking, though.  Maybe if I actively tried to get my mind to produce images when my eyes are closed I'd be able to conjure some stuff up!  I dunno!  Anyway.  Let's see.  Close My Eyes Right Now, See What I Can See!  SEE SOME BRIGHTS.  LIGHT NEON BLUE HORIZONTAL.  GOOD, GREAT START.  I'll keep you updated on this situation as it progresses I guess.  I doubt it will progress.  Is TWENTY FOUR still on the air.  I wanna write a 24 spec script that takes place on Christmas.  Nerds would watch it ON CHRISTMAS all day as a tradition.  I WOULD RUIN CHRISTMAS FOR A LARGE SEGMENT OF THE POPULATION FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.  Cool!
   Penultimate paragraph.  Or I can disprove the existence of God.  That could ruin Christmas.  No it can't.  I've spent periods of life SURE God doesn't exist and I've still gone through plenty of those December 25th's pretty joyfully!  Anyway.  I think there's something out there I don't quite understand.  I don't know if you wanna call it GOD, or MOST THINGS, or ALMOST EVERYTHING NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, or what.  What if the plot of my season of 24 is Christ Coming Back.  And Jack Bauer has to stop him.  Sounds good.  Anyway.  Getting close to the end of the entry!  I don't know if I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my night!  I've been re-watching The Others lately.  I guess I can put that on!  IT'S A GHOST MOVIE but the twist is... well I won't ruin it for you.  Get on it, though.  It's a good flim.  It's got KIDMAN.  It's got CHILDREN.  It's a PERIOD PEICE.  Kidman is the name of a Child Superhero.  And he gets his superpowers FROM Being A Kid.  And it's all Child Themed.  Oh is that what it is.  Yeah!  Sort of!  
   Last paragraph.  Lots of doors in The Others.  Always locking doors and unlocking doors and then there's more doors to lock and unlock.  You'd think you were watching The Doors!  Maybe it's called The Others as a reference to THE OTHER Doors besides The Main One You're Be Thinking Of At First.  Anyway, time to wrap up the entry.  Now I'm scared.  They can't run through this big house easily if they get into trouble.  ALL DOORS FROM ROOM TO ROOM ARE LOCKED AND NEED UNLOCKING.  This'll take forever if they were running from danger!  What if that were ME.  It's not.  I don't even live in a DOORED house for the most part much less a LOCKED-DOORED.  Oh.  Great.  I guess I'm just kinda lucky that way.  Anyway.  Another entry I can't comfortably fully endorse!  I DON'T THINK I'M FUNNY RIGHT NOW.  BUT THAT'S JUST ONE MAN'S OPINION.  I guess it'll have to be another day until I start writing things I do think are good!  WHY NOT TOMORROW?  What's that.  Thursday?  I don't know.  I guess I'll think about it.  See ya later.

-6:04 P.M.            
     

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

I Wonder Where I'd Be If I Wasn't Here

    Hi!  Time to write a better entry than yesterday.  I'm sweatshirt jacketing it up!  The temperature demanded an extra layer of clothing!  What temperature is it?  Winter.  Think I'm gonna hold off on the music classes.  I don't need to do comedy classes and music classes at the same time.  YEP I might have to wait all the way until June if I don't do Music Class Now but FINE.  I can still work on Music privatically.  So that's probably the way to go.  Dad wanted me to shovel ICE earlier today.  Some ice had formed around the car.  It's hard to shovel ice.  Not sure if that's just For Me Right Now or a universal, 100% of the time rule!  But I FIND it's hard to shovel icy iced over ice!  Couldn't really make any progress in the ninety seconds I spent on it!  Odds are there's no consequences to that minor failure.  BUT if my Dad slips and falls and cracks his back on his way to car to drive me to Therapist tomorrow, I'm gonna be partially responsible for that!  MY MOM AND DAD CAN SUE ME FOR ALL I'VE GOT if that happens.  Oh No!  They might start confiscating the moderately priced things I own since I don't have any money!  I NEED THIS STUFF FOR ENTERTAINMENT.
    TV.  Instruments.  Miscellaneous Electronics.  You Know That Kind Of Thing.  Well anyway how's everything going in the wide world of sports.  How's everyone doing!  I got a lot less going on Today compared to Yesterday.  Yesterday I had Entire Vacation to report to you.  Today all I can say is I watched some TV in the last 20 hours and relieved myself one or two ways.  I also did some productive things.  Like planning about not doing Music Class until June Or Something.  Ok.  LIFE PROGRESSES ON!  Deciding NOT to do something counts as Doing Something!  I'm gonna do it.  Just later.  Now I get to look forward to something.  Great.  I WANT TO SEE ME DO BETTER THINGS.  So far this entry has been Heavy On The Biography, Light On The Laughs.  WELL.  The mindset I'm in.  Is such that.  I'm not.  Thinking.  So.  Great!  So.  It's mostly my fault.  That the entry has been poor!  Lemme try to start all over again again. 
    I watched half a dozen of that show AP Biography over break.  Where Patton Oswalt is the principal.  It was OK.  Why does main character teacher have only class a day, though?  Seems like most teachers have six or seven.  Also I did some counting off the top of my head and there's only 16 people in that class.  That's a very small class!  Maybe that's how it works in rich people neighborhoods.  I do believe this is a public school.  Dunno the kind of neighborhood.  I remember seeing streets and sidewalks outside.  Possibly grass.  Anyway.  What should I do for fun when this entry is over.  I'm getting near the end of Community.  Only 30 or so episodes left.  Then it's onto the latter third or half of 30 Rock.  And then I'm all up out of NBC Thursday Night Don't Miss 'Em shows from the late 2000's.  AH, the late 2000's.  Back when life JUST MADE SENSE.  You see the antics of Michael Scott or Tracy Jordan and you LAUGH YOURSELF SILLY.  I don't Laugh Myself Silly anymore!  It's probably because of chemicals they're putting in our soda supply.  Surely there's still talented CHARACTER ACTORS on TV but I'm just not cracking up like I used to!
    Anyway.  Well I got a certain super market delivery coming tonight.  I might be still writing this entry when it gets here!  Small delivery!  Won't be a big disruption!  Anyway I think the only thing I'm getting from them is some sort of cookie.  The Stella Doro brand.  Might be a backwards apostrophe in there where you'd least expect it.  Started watching Bruce Almighty last night.  About halfway through!  I know the premise is Waht if a Man Became God in the JudeoChristian sense.  But for a lot of it its just what if Man had Godlike powers.  He just uses it to do random things for fun like to look up woman's dresses and such.  That's not the same as WHAT IF HE ACTED LIKE GOD AND DID GODLIKE THINGS.  Although that does start to become the theme once they get into the middle of the movie, so good on them for finding their groove eventually!  Anyway.  I feel like now I have to keep you updated on how Bruce Almighty turns out in the second half of the movie.  JUST IN CASE THIS IS THE ONE TRUE FAITH. 
    Ate half a gummy just now.  I guess.  Morgan Freeman is a pretty good God.  Is he better than The Real God?  You didn't hear it from me, but... NO WHAT THE HELL KIND OF IDOLATRY IS THAT.  BLASPHEMOUS.  But then again Morgan Freeman made us feel good in film after film.  What did GOD ever DO FOR YOU.  I'm sure lots of Gods did good for Lots Of Peoples.  Oh.  Good.  WELL MORGAN FREEMAN DID GOOD FOR PLENTY OF US TOO.  Agree to disagree.  Anyway.  If Morgan Freeman dies and goes to Heaven and it turns out Morgan Freeman is God will Morgan Freeman be pleased with that development?  I dunno.  Which one.  Hmm.  Anyway.  Stayed up LATE last night to watch first half of Bruce Almighty and eat dinner.  We're talkin I was Actively Awake at around 10:30 P.M.  Dangit.  We're in the fifth paragraph.  I had confused myself into thinking it was the sixth paragraph.  WELL we'll be there soon!  I think there's an Olympiads this year in BEIJING of all places!  That's wrong.  No.  I got some facts mixed up in that statement.  AH WELL.
    Something's happening in Beijing.  I'm pretty sure.  I thought I saw a sign about it at the bus stop!  That's where I get all my up-to-date news and information.  Anyway.  Halfway through the entry!  I don't like where I'm at right now in the entry.  I don't like the direction it's going.  UNLESS the direction it's going in is Don't Worry I'm Bout To Change The Direction.  Hmm.  God Damn Directions.  I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.  *Michael Throws The Map Out The Window*  Anyway.  Haven't done a good old fashioned Music Match Up in about 15 years.  That's a fun activity where you listen to a song and then play another full, complete song over it.  No matter what the genre is!  You'd be surprised off often it sounds good!  You don't need me.  Experiment on your own time.  Tonight after Baby Is Asleep just put on your 4th favorite song and then also put on your 22nd favorite song at the same time!  GET READY FOR A GOOD TIME.  Do you need to be high?  NO!  Open Minded, maybe!  Can't wait to see what grooves you'll get into!  You don't believe me, do you.  Is it THAT unbelievable?  Music Over Music Equals Music.  I don't see what's so unlikely about that! 
   Anyway.  Whatever.  It's okay.  You don't need to do it.  You have your own hobbies.  Anyway.  Shit.  Four more paragraphs to go.  I GUESS I CAN KNOCK 'EM OUT OF THE PARK.  Anyway.  What to talk about.  Trump talking about invading Greenland and Panama Canal.  And the headlines are like HMM SHOULD WE DO THAT???  I guess Headlines Don't Matter these days!  I wonder if they'll return to relevance at some point or if them being uniformly ridiculous is permanent.  Anyway.  What's important is that I SORTA GET THE STORY ELSEWHERE.  Is that good enough.  I DON'T KNOW YET.  That's news for ya.  You're gonna wanna avoid the newspapers if you wanna get the scoop!  Seems strange but that's the world we live in.  What else is up.  I got three and a half paragraphs to write.  Are you kidding me!  AM I RIGHT?  YA'LL KNOW.  C'MON.  (Imaginary Audience Is Sympathisizing With Me On Account Of Remaining Paragraphs To Write)  Oh Okay Now I Understand Me.      
    Three paragraphs to go.  WAIT A SEC.  I don't like who, "I," am.  That Ain't Me!  Lots of better options of Who I Might Be still on the table!  Anyway...  Super Market Delivery is now ON IT'S WAY.  What's a good way for me to be.  Keytar.  That's not an identity.  Keep looking over at my musical keyboard, though!  And it's propped up against the wall sideways like.  So I keep thinking of a Keytar.  Keytars are good but you don't want to BE ONE.  They're pieces of technology!  Not something to aspire towards!  Well everyone has to start somewhere.  I have no idea what I'm talking about.  I see the words I'm writing and I just think I hope this registers with people and figure of course it will and keep going.  Yep!  Cause I'm dumb!  Alright.  Watched half a dozen episodes of The Wonder Years.  The original Wonder Years.  Really makes ya wonder.  Then you stop wondering when the show is over.  HEY.  They captured my ability To Wonder!  NOW I CAN ONLY GET OFF WONDERMENTWISE WHILE THAT TV SHOW IS GOING.  Fuck.  Well I guess I should just be happy I can Wonder at all.  TO BE HONEST I REALLY CAN'T EVEN WITH TEH SHOW.  ...I NEVER TOLD ANYONE THAT BEFORE.
    Wasn't true until just now.  Penultimate paragraph.  Delivery will be here in a few minutes.  Gonna end the entry with ya afterwards.  SEE YA SOON.  Alright I'm Back.  Seems like it.  I am physically here.  Sitting at my computer.  My mind acknowledges I'm Writing An Entry.  My heart is somewhat in it.  SOUL?  I'll get back to you on that one.  Lemme think.  Suol.  Soul.  ...  YEP.  I probably got one of those around somewhere.  AT LEAST.  HOW MANY SOULS DO I THINK I HAVE.  Probably just the one now that I think about it.  I dunno.  Always gets tricky when ya talk about things that may or may not exist and if they do we don't know what they really mean at all.  Anyway.  I got a soul.  It exists.  It means I'm #1!  That's not what souls mean.  It means Portmanteau of So You'll.  So you'll have to excuse me if I change the subject without figuring out more info on Souls.  That's not the most pressing subject of the day!  What is the most pressing subject of the day.  SOULS.  Now that I think about it.  OUR MORTAL SOULS.  Huh.  I guess that's at stake every day!
   Last paragraph!  Guess I can do an okay job with this one probably.  Got therapy appointment tomorrow morning.  Plus bloodwork!  Good ol' fashioned Two-for-One!  Sweet!  Besides knowing the standard Bob Dylan songs in my childhood, my earliest exposure to Bob Dylan that really made me think was for some reason I came across the live journal of my brother's college roommate and it was called FixinToDie but I interpreted it as like it was Fixin Toadie.  Like the amphibian.  Wow.  What a story.  It reminded me of hallucinogenics.  That's MY first association when I heard Toad when I was 14!  Cause you can lick some frogs and it's like doing acid or mushrooms or something.  And Toad is like Frog.  That's what my mind was up to back then AND STILL IS in many ways!  Hey great how about that.  Another entry in the books.  Wonder what I'll say tomorrow!  I can't imagine it'll be much better than today!  Why not.  I dunno.  Because I suck at writing, being creative, being a relatable person in most respects, just general LIVING... OK GOT IT.  I'll see ya tomorrow anyway!

-6:19 P.M. 

Monday, January 6, 2025

It's Good, But Is It Crazy?

    I Hope Not!  Crazy is just a word in the title of the website.  Not really usually something I actively aspire towards!  I wasn't thinking carefully when I decided on the name of this website.  I didn't go over the implications of what I was doing!  What was the original intention of this website.  I DON'T KNOW.  I didn't have BLOG in mind at first.  I just figured A Man Can Utilize Himself A Domain I guess!  Most don't.  In today's age the average person does not have their own website!  Maybe Tomorrow's Age.  I've looked into several futures and in a couple of them, we all have our own website.  WELL I guess if it can be monetized WHY NOT.  I guess we can have ads on our websites.  Perhaps we all act like influencers at each other in the 22nd century.  Corporate Product Placement is the standard conversation-interaction format as opposed to an extra-curricular.  MADNESS.  Anyway it's pretty cool having your own website!  Get to make your own hours.  I don't answer to anyone.  I get to show up to work whenever I want.  Only downside is there's a solid chance I'm talking to, let's face it, absolutely nobody.  ≥1 people.  Other than that it's a great arrangement.  This paragraph feels WRONG.  You're right.  Let's BURN whoever wrote it ALIVE.  OR AT LEAST AN EFFIGY OF THEM.
    Had my first THIRD 201 improv class yesterday!  ALL IS WELL.  I can hold my own at this point to the point no one is judging me too bad for the most part.  JUDGING ME makes me think of me re-watching Office Space a few days ago.  Re-watching Office Space a few days ago makes me think about I LOVED MY WINTER VACATION IN GENERAL.  Just 2.5 weeks of non-stop fun, excitement, and probably a lot of down slope snowboarding if I'm remembering correctly.  Is there any other kind of snowboarding.  Well the one time I went Snowboarding was plateau level snowboarding.  I was a Beginner.  ONLY TEN YEARS OLD.  They were teaching me & my friend how to put on the snow boards and how to Board Or Whatever. and that was enough of an adrenaline rush for me!  Getting attached to the board and moving a couple of feet by pretty much just walking?!  WHEW I'M EXHAUSTED.  Let's go back in the Lodge.  Lodge.  SURE THAT'S THE PLACE WE'D RETREAT TO.  Huh.  I liked that new Bob Dylan movie.  I liked a lot of TV I watched.  I like my new keyboard.  I like SOME of the progress I've made on guitar.  I'm almost back to 50% of as good as I was when I was playing as when I was playing 40% as good I was when I was 50% optimal playing.  I NEED TO RE-LEARN TALKING AS WELL AS GUITAR.
    Okay!  Anyway.  Met up with my brother for PIZZA before my class yesterday.  You ever just have lunch with somebody?  This was like that!  Felt like an idiot because we went to a place that JUST makes different kinds of specialty pizza and I WANTED to be like Can I Just Have A Regular Pizza because I'm an asshole but I went with just one of the least special pizzas there is.  I dunno!  What's wrong with wanting WHAT'S USUAL.  Being a mindless drone.   Well guess what I didn't like the somewhat special pizza I had, so whose really mindlessly droning who!  I GUESS NOT.  Had to go to Different Theater than usual to see The Complete Unknown.  I LIKED IT.  Good ol' fashioned switcheroo!  Different part of town!  This is theater I traditionally went to when I was a kid!  CLASSIC MIX-EM-UP.  Lot of old white ladies seeing the Bob Dylan movie.  MMM I LOVE ME SOME MOMMIES.  That's my personality this week.  Anyway.  Looking into guitar lessons at The School Of Rock.  A music lesson organization!  That SO THEY SAY the movie stole their name from!  Also my cousin teaches at!  But not at my branch!  BUT ANYWAY I think it'd be a weekly personal lesson PLUS a weekly group performance/lesson with PEOPLE PLAYING OTHER INSTRUMENTS.  SO it's a good way to meet other people to be in band AS WELL AS get better!  SO maybe that's a good way to Work On Doing Music.  I dunno.  I got LOTS OF THINGS going on right now!  ANY ONE OF THEM MAY PAN OUT.  Improv.  Guitar.  Website.  Jerking off.
    How can jerking off ever Pay Off.  I dunno.  Millionth Customer gets a check for a million dollars?  I'm enjoying Community a lot.  Probably too much!  One day I might look back on this period of my life and realize I was wrong, all wrong.  What show should I Be Watching And Liking instead.  What's that show about The Superheroes.  Pacemakers.  No the other one.  The Underdogs.  That's probably not accurate.  Captain America Babies.  Just trying a new Edible.  Really SMALL.  Normal strength, but it's small!  Hard to Bite In Half!  I'll manage I guess.  LET'S SEE.  Watched some of the Golden Globes last night.  Who came up with that as a PRIZE for GOOD WORK ON FILM and/or TV.  HERE.  YOU WIN THE EARTH.  IF IT WERE MADE OUT OF GOLD.  Seems like a lot!  Anyway I like Entertainment Industry.  Probably would like to participate in it one day!  You know.  Just DO MY THING.  Huh.  Probably should be more to it than that!  Hmm.  WELL I GUESS first of all I'm gonna need to get headshots.  I don't feel comfortable doing that.  NO its when someone takes photos of your face!  AH THAT THING.  Oh.  Anyway.  I'm not sure if this edible is kicking in or not.  I really don't know.  If I had to guess I'd say No?
    Fifth paragraph!  It's possible it made me LESS high!  I have an inverted high right now!  Why in the world would they sell that product!  I dunno.  They PRODUCED IT somehow.  And once they created it they figured Maybe Some Sucker Will Buy It.  That's me!  I dunno. I'M SURE I'M HIGH.  Don't worry about me!  OKAY SORRY LEMME GET BACK ON TRACK.  If there's one thing we should be in life, it's on track -- Mario... The Nascar Guy.  Rossi.  Mario Mario was also on track in Mario Kart, revered video game from many of our youths.  Okay.  Why is it, "Kart," instead of, "Cart."  Only two kinds of people prefer, "K's," to, "C's,"... Communists and Klansman.  WHICH ONES ARE NINTENDO.  Go Karting is THE POPULAR SPELLING across the land.  Well, whoever made it Kart instead of Cart in the first place.  THEY'RE the Korrupted Ones WHOEVER they are.  Well, anyway.  How I end this paragraph can MAKE OR BREAK this entry.  Why.  I dunno.  Could!  Might!  Maybe!  The thing about that is I can't really say why I feel that way!  Ugh.  I think I've been talking to the wrong imaginary audience so far.  Instead of Reader Quadrant 768 I've been talking to Reader Area GREEN AQUA VELVET for the most part!  Hmm.  Maybe I'll switch it up.  Or maybe I'll continue that path I've started.  I don't know!
    229.  428.  553.  I could choose lots of numbers.  But I'm going with my first instincts because THAT'S WHAT COMEDY IS.  No it isn't.  Why would Me Lying Be Funny.  Lying is Gallows Humour.  Anyway.  Just talked to some people from The School Of Rock.  They operate in Seasons and JUST MY LUCK a new season is starting up next week!  Pricing seemed reasonable.  Might be a hard sell to my parents, doing Comedy Class and Music Class at the same time.  But it seems achievable!  You know, I can achieve it and everything!  Might as well.  Might As Well!  It's a lot of activities, though!  I'm not sure if MY BED is gonna be okay with all that Me Going Around Doing Things!  My Bed wants me all to itself!  People cannot relate to being tethered to their bed.  They have JOBS and LIVES and FAMILIES.  That reminds me my Dad fixed my lightbulb.  By throwing it out.  It's Gone.  FOREVER.  Now there's a new one.  One that will last a long, long time!  Alright!  Kind of gonna miss the light going on and off and off and on again.  You can grow accustomed to weird things!  DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN GROW ACCUSTOMED TO.
    Seventh paragraph.  This is the first entry of the year.  That's out of like a total hundred and eighty entries!  I'm guesstimating!  I don't know, what the Hell.  I had to go out and get the mail earlier.  Parents just don't understand!  We want to be LEFT ALONE.  Anyway.  You guys ever just... forget it.  I was gonna start telling a joke but I don't know if Society is ready for that one!  ALRIGHT.  You ever just look at a word and see another word!  ALL THE TIME.  Oh good I'm glad we all share that experience.  OK SO WHAT WORDS ARE YOU CURRENTLY SEEING INSTEAD OF THE RIGHT WORDS?  I can't say for sure right now.  It comes and goes!  I'll try to keep myself updated on this situation as it progresses.  OK I GOTCHU.  Anyway.  Sneezed earlier today in the Starbucks.  It was notable because I wasn't wearing my mask in Starbucks for the first time since Forever.  Now they know I don't suffer from Chin Disease.  I hope I forget all about that joke.  I will.  In what universe do I have to remember it?  Maybe like three hundred out of a billion.
    YEAH.  "Changnesia," making me laugh in Community.  Why wouldn't it.  This is where I am in life.  PRETTY REASONABLE PLACE TO BE.  Anyway.  I can appreciate I put some time and effort into this entry while admitting that it's still not very good.  OUT OF PRACTICE, I GET BETTER.  ALSO, MADE YA LOOK.  Anyway.  I'm outta here.  Oh I still have to write three more paragraphs!  What else is up.  My brother suggested that I could read certain entries of website at Coffeehouse Type Scenarios.  I dunno if he actually reads the website or not.  I never pictured him reading this.  But that's a different kind of Audience I Can Keep In Mind for future entries!  I dunno.  Only audience I want is Audience Of One.  Which is the phrase for my big promotional campaign that we've been releasing in several phases lately.  BE AN AUDIENCE OF ONE.  Crazysheet.net.  I like participating in moderately sized audiences, personally.  Why does that sound weird to me when I say it oud loud. 
    I can't believe I can't figure out how to turn off the setting where the keys light up when you press them on the keyboard.  I thought for sure that was modifiable!  Black keys don't light up.  I wonder how that effects People Learning!  They remember how to play the white keys but not the black ones potentially!  That's okay.  How many songs can possibly have black keys in them anyway.  Not many.  I don't remember Bob Dylan playing with any black performers.  IS THAT Logic Jump logical?  Anyway.  Sounds like a racist to me!  But the good news is they made multiple motion pictures about him so he's gotta be happy about that.  I never thought of Like A Rolling Stone as Bob Dylan Going THAT Electric song.  It's not heavy metal or anything.  I don't feel completely Electrified based off of this song.  But there's no denying that that guitar is electric.  Terrible insight.  Absolutely awful.  Well I got more to say.  That's just my first impression.  I also think the lyrics are pretty clever.  I can see why people like this stuff.
   Last paragraph!  I wish I could write a new, better entry instead of the one I'm leaving you with.  But That's not the world we live in!  It could be.  That'd Be Weird.  Imagine That World!  LOL!  Anyway.  I'll write you a new entry tomorrow.  It's like writing a new entry today but We Have To Wait.  WHAT THE HELL.  WAIT.  WHO CAME UP WITH THAT SHIT.  Look you got lives to live.  I got stuff to occupy myself with.  We're gonna be okay.  OKAY GOOD.  I always wanted to be told it will be OKAY by a website.  So that's good.  Anyway.  What am I gonna do when this is over.  Probably cry myself to sleep ultimately.  But before that watch some TELEVISION.  Should be fun!  No, I'm just joking, I only cry when it's cold out!  Sometimes the coldness makes me tear up!  Otherwise I have no emotions.  Anyway.  Been a pretty fun entry.  I had a good time.  I think I'm gonna cut my losses and call it a night.  See ya later!  Paragraph Ain't Long Enough Yet.  OK.  What commercials have you guys been getting into lately.  I like the one with Steve Shirripa.  Makes me think about Dog Food. OH ok we're done now.  I'll see ya tomorrow! 

-6:42 P.M. 
    
       

Contact: mankindguy@gmail.com