Thursday, December 19, 2024

This Is A Very Popular Title

    Hey, friends!  How is everyone doing.  I'm okay!  Looking forward to my Winter Vacation!  Gonna order my keyboard tonight!  It's-- you guessed it-- A YAMAHA!  Sixty One Keys.  Lots of Voices.  SIX HUNDRED OR SO.  One day I hope to be The Man of Six Hundred Voices.  But my voices aren't, "Windchimes," or, "Ice Cream Truck."  They'll be, "People," and, "598 Other Kinds Of People."  Anyway.  Most comedians can speak in other's voices.  I can THINK in other's voices.  It's not as fun mentally!  Also I don't have so much control over it!  And they're all as dumb as I am!  Kind of sucks!  ANYWAY.  Entry Time.  Watched Matilda last night.  The 1990's one.  I feel like they re-made Matilda recently?  Probably with a black girl?  Possibly as a musical?  Perhaps as a Broadway Play?  WELL I LTURQ and they remade it as a film musical but she's still white.  Anyway that's a decent movie.  The one I just re-saw.  Good.  I like the part where they encourage kids to use telekinesis.  Humans SHOULD learn a new skill and little girls are the ones to lead us into the 22nd century probably!  Matilda and Carrie.  Two pioneers in human ingenuity!
   Anyway.  ARE Matilda and Carrie the same person but in alternate universes?  Like, IS Carrie what happens to Matilda if Matilda never gets her intellectual and emotional and social sides nourished before reaching adolescence?  Sure.  Makes about 20% of sense.  What else is going on in Horror Films from 1976-1996.  Matilda was a horror film from the point of view of the adults.  Not counting the Pro-Matilda Miss Honey.  You know what?  Kinda sounds scary to me now that I think about it.  What if there REALLY WAS a Matilda with those kinds of supernatural powers?  Imagine the havoc she could cause!  Doom and death and destruction.  Wiggle her ears and cause a landslide somewhere.  I don't feel safe at all anymore!  I do realize she is a perfectly peaceful person though, right?  I seen this entire movie.  YEAH.  I GUESS.  Anyway, what book should I watch on TV tonight.  I dunno if that's in the cards.  Most films aren't based on books.  Well, what are they based on?  Independent Thought or something, I dunno.   
    Okay.  Only up to the third paragraph!  That sucks!  What's funny about this paragraph.  It hasn't happened yet.  I dunno!  Something funny will happen though.  I'm not so sure.  WELL MOVING ON.  Wait a second, I'm right!  Something Funny probably Could And Should happen!  I'm usually pretty defeatest and go into each paragraph thinking Nothing Much Will Happen.  Now, ya know what?  EACH PARAGRAPH IS A BLESSING.  WOW.  Most blessings are tangibly worthless but I still feel okay about that declaration.  Ugh.  You know what really annoys me in life?  My parents watching TV and listening to the radio.  Half the time I'm Entrying I can hear it in the back of my head and it drives me bananas.  JUST A TIP to help you understand my mindset!  To be fair... most of my life makes me crazy.  Who cares.  Crazy is IN right now. That's why I write this maybe!  Normalize craziness?  No.  It's not normal!  If it was normal we wouldn't even need the word, "Crazy!"  It would just be assumed that's how everyone is!  Oh okay.  I don't get it.  Nobody gets it.  I'm talking to nobody.  Not even you or I am reading this.  Maybe I am.  Yeah.  Definitely I am.
   Fourth paragraph time.  What kind of person types 10 paragraphs four times a week but says nothing.  Oooh I love riddles.  How many guesses do I get.  UNLIMITED!  Anyway I don't have a conclusion to that Riddle.  Aww, but Michael, we want closure!  I know, right!  Me too!  Lemme think.  10 Paragraphs... says nothing...  IS IT SOME SORT OF DOCTOR?  No that can't be it.  I know.  WILDLIFE EXPERT.  That profession didn't make me laugh and I'm kind of Angry About It to be honest.  Anyway the answer to the joke is that it's What's Black And Red and White All Over.  Each time I'm not funny I'm just getting more and more incensed.  Okay.  Cool it down.  I'm the one who should be upset! Yeah but I Am You.  Ah.  I could see how that might be a bother to us both, then.  MAYBE I come up with a new answer to make everyone happy.  What kind of person types ten paragraphs four times a week but says nothing?  A SUCKER.  Ah okay.  A FOOL.  Maybe.  SOME SORT OF HERO.  Okay that's good.  SEX OBJECT.  Let's hope so.
   It's a joke!  "Sex" and, "Objects," should have nothing to do with one another! ...Well let's think about it for a sec.. NO!!!  Fifth paragraph.  Six paragraphs to go!  What's your absolute favorite topic. I HEARD SOMEONE SAY VODKA.  That's a pretty good conversation piece!  It's an alcohol that you can drink.  Very engaging experience if that's an avenue you're looking to explore.  Would recommend if to anyone who's looking for something to do.  I'd drink it right now if it were here and several other circumstances were different.  Anyway.  Getting closer and closer to the end of the entry!  Unless I delete a few paragraphs by misfortune.  Then it seems I'm getting further away from my goals once again!  Well, anyway.  I heard there might be a strike at the Amazon Company.  Should I order Keyboard Elsewhere instead to avoid potential disturbance in my shipment?  WHEN IN OUR HISTORY HAVE YOU EVER ANSWERED ANY OF MY QUESTIONS?  Why would you start now?  OK NO.  Someone said, "No."  Ok.  Now that I think about it, it seems weird I haven't had Voices In My Head of "Readers."  That'd be really helpful!!  Maybe that's why.  It'd be too productive.  Kinda scary, though.  Could be a bit much.  We'll see how I feel moving forward. 
    Halfway through the entry!  FIVE paragraphs to go!  Look, everyone is a Reader to some extent.  All of us have read something at one time or another.  NOT EVERYONE.  Whatever.  When they first made Where's Waldo, gotta imagine at some point Someone at the publishing business went WHO IS THIS FOR.  WHAT MARKET WANTS THIS?  I mean, once we knew what Where's Waldo was, we can have a light chuckle and appreciate its novelty.  But before it was ever even released, they had to wonder, IS A SINGLE PERSON GOING TO RESPOND TO THIS?  What's wrong with it.  IT'S A GUESSING GAME.  Is Waldo In The Top Right?  NO.  Is Waldo In The Bottom Right?  NO.  Is Waldo In The Bottom Left?  YES.  MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.  I guess I was approaching it from a more literary point of view.  Cause it IS still A BOOK, right?  We're supposed to identify with Waldo, right?  Supposed to LEARN SOMETHING from this experience?  Huh.  LET WALDO GO.  Obviously wants to disappear.  Just let him be.  Just don't turn the page after the next time you find him and let him stay anonymous for the next location.  Clearly what everybody wants.
     Great.  Seventh paragraph!  I'm trying to decide whether If Waldo Had A Friend/Wife, whether that pairing person would look almost exactly like Waldo or not.  Because each picture you have to find Waldo and Mrs. Waldo, and I dunno if it's easier or harder whether they look exactly the same or not.  That's not how Where's Waldo Books Work.  EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO IMPROVE WHERE'S WALDO.  HE'S ALWAYS TRAVELING ALONE.  Seems to me like he could use a partner!  Anyway.  I'm just imagining Waldo always being in one corner of the picture and his wife always being on the other opposite side.  They're never together when they travel.  What a pair The Waldos are.  Anyway.  If I ever do Improv a lot of that is working with other people.  Like, if I ever perform for real, that involves ACTUALLY INTERACTING with the other people.  Not just faking it.  Am I ready for that?  I dunno.  Are other people ready for interaction with me?  I dunno.  Maybe after a couple more months of preparation, we'll see.  That's funny.  People need to be prepared to interact with me.  LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF MONSTER.  I don't get it completely.  Only about 25%!
    Eighth paragraph.  What's gonna be funny about this paragraph.  Seems like the time for humor has passed.  Why/How would the time for humor ever pass?  I NEED IT.  Who keeps saying that.  Anyway.  I dunno.  What did the guy who writes ten paragraphs four times a week say to the other guy who writes ten paragraphs four times a week.  NICE JOB BEING MYSELF.  Yeah that checks out I guess.  Anyway.  Two and a half paragraphs to go!  I know RIGHT NOW it seems like Hey what does it seem like again I just lost track but THIS WON'T LAST FOREVER.  So that's good.  Two and a half paragraphs to go.  We can do this the EASY WAY or the HARD WAY.  The easy way is just let me do it without any noise or guff or anything.  The Hard Way is lots of noise and guff.  I really have very little leverage to be honest so I'm relying on your goodwill for the most part.  Ok.  So what's up and crap.  I'm hearing lots of noises.  That indicates to me that we've chosen The Hard Way.  Dangit.  I was really looking forward to taking things The Easy Way for a while!  The universe has spoken! 
   Penultimate paragraph.  What universe.  Speak who.  Whattayou Talkin about!  So that's good.  Two paragraphs to go.  I'm gonna make the most of them and endure their existence.  That's not The Most, that's THIRD MOST at best.  Ok.  Anyway.  Wait A SECOND Is my blogging RAPING The universe?  I never thought about it that way but I was re-reading the last paragraph and it felt like when I was talking about Taking Things The Easy Way and The Hard Way I was sorta TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE INTERNET.  That's a good phrase.  Taking Advantage Of The Internet.  Wanna remember that for some reason.  Alright.  Didn't mean to make anyone feel bad!  I don't think I did at least.  Not even my enemies!  Maybe I have enemies.  What if there are people out there who Just Don't Like Me.  They sit around just HATING ME.  Well that's kind of a description of 45% Of Who I Am Personally so yeah that kind of makes sense to me.  Oh. Okay.  Fair enough. 
    Last paragraph.  Still grinding.  One paragraph at a time.  Thought by thought, I'm getting there.  Well let's get this over width.  Winter solstice is in a couple of days.  Lookin' forward to that.  I think that's the longest day of the year.  Except in reverse.  So the shortest day of the year.  I dunno what kinda words you like to use.  Well anyway.  Still a few sentences to go, I guess you wanna see what I got ready for ye.  I got nothing planned.  As far as I know They'll Never Even Happen.  We could be talking about Sentences that FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES DON'T EXIST.  Don't worry.  They'll exist.  I care MUCH TOO MUCH to let you leave with 9.5 paragraphs in the end.  Huh.  Gotta write some songs coming up in the next week or two.  I got some lyrics and guitarring but no IDEAS.  Who needs ideas.  VERY UNRELATABLE.  You think the average person Thinks Thoughts on a day-to-day basis?  Well, not when you question it in italics like that.  Huh.  I guess that's it for now.  See ya later!

   Feel like writing a bonus paragraph.  Just because it's the right thing to do!  I don't have anything to say persay.  But I want to donate Something To Earth.  I have something inside of me I need to get rid of.  EARTH seems like a good place to dispose it!  Anyway.  You know what I wanna talk about?  You do?  GOOD.  Let's talk about that!  Well sure that's good.  Can't cover all of it in a single paragraph, though.  Probably would take an entire week of entries to really get to the bottom of things.  Anyway.  Should have a good time this Winter Vacation writing songs.  I know what I'm doing!  I've done it before!  I'll do it again!  I just need to figure out how to do it right now for this time.  Each session of songs is it's own thing, man.  Don't call me Man.  Sorry Friend.  That's not right either.  Each Session of songs is it's own thing BUDDY.  I really don't like that.  Each Session of songs is it's own thing PAL O MINE.  Nope.  Each session of songs is it's own thing... I dunno, I think I'm stuck with Friend.  Oh.  How about just not addressing me at all.  Wha.  You read 11 paragraphs and then say I can't talk to you?  Okay!  See ya later anyway.      

-5:43 P.M.

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Have A Good Entry

    Alright!  Time to write an entry.  Looking forward to improv class starting in 2 and a half weeks.  Not comfortable saying 2 and a half weeks.  Feels like a normal person would have rounded it to 2 or 3 weeks.  But I'm not sure which one The Normal Person would have picked.  Dangit.  Maybe the normal person would have said two weeks from Sunday.  I gotta use my 2.5 weeks to Get In The Head of The Normal Person.  That's what improv is!  Constantly pretending to be Different Kinds Of Normal People!  Audience is supposed to BUY that I AM THIS KINDA PERSON.  I dunno.  Alternatively maybe I think Improv is being Weird People all the time.  I think 80% of the scenes I see in class is People Being Weird.  Hmm.  But they're STUDENTS.  Not actual EXPERTS or PERFORMERS.  Maybe students lean into Being Weird People and Experts lean into Being (weirdish) Normal People.  Gotta go see a show to test my theory.  That'd be helpful!  Instead of trying to come up with Improv Lessons off the top of my head based on nothing.  That's a crazy way to try to learn things!  Crazy enough it JUST MIGHT WORK!
    How was my night last night.  Watched the movie After Hours.  That was okay!  The 1980's movie made by well appreciated filmmaker Martin Scoresese.  It was fine but I didn't love it!  Wasn't really paying attention!  What WAS I paying attention to.  YA KNOW WHAT? I  kinda was paying attention to the movie.  That guy really just kept trying to get back to his apartment!  It's about a guy and he lives in New York and it's night time and he wants to go home but he keeps running into problems.  It's a Thriller that's also a comedy.  Anyway.  What kind of problems.  He doesn't have fare for the subway.  Stuff like that.  Look, if you wanna know about the movie go ahead and see it for yourself!  Why must I be the one to relay the plot to you!  What good will seeing this film do me if I apparently Won't Even Remember The Problems The Main Character Goes Through.  Fine don't see it, then!  No skin off my back!  Skin off my back?  What is this, psoriasis?
    Okay.  I think I might take a doubleweek off coming up.  WHAT IS THAT SOUND going on outside!  It's not the sound of Something Happening.  It's like the sound of Clouds Settling.  I dunno how to describe it.  Not literal clouds.  Those are too high up.  Whatever you call the invisible clouds that we all live in.  Anyway I hear sounds all the time that annoy me.  That's pretty much my entire life!  Gotta buy me my musical keyboard tonight!  That way it's ready for my musicing as soon as possible.  Write me a song about CLOUDS.  How many songs have been about clouds before?  TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY FOUR.  Alright.  Good.  Not my way, though!  This one is gonna be the one to break the mold!  WHO CARES.  Some people.  A SOLID MINORITY OF PEOPLE!  I guess we're 25% into the entry!  Sometimes it feels like it's been a good while since I wrote something legitimately funny.  What.  It takes TWO people to make a joke.  I read that in a book nowhere.  AND I'M ALL ALONE.  You'll find, being alone your entire life, it's hard to play off yourself!  I should make a friend then.  What the HELL?  HOW... Wh... I DON'T... WHO ARE YOU...  Good.  I'll make a friend.  So I can make better jokes.  Thanks.  Wait a second I don't care.
    Awesome.  FOURTH PARAGRAPH.  I can't get enough of these crazy paragraphs.  I dunno what goes on in FOURTH paragraphs traditionally.  People make their third of eight points.  Okay.  Looks like THE GOVERNMENT is at it again.  I don't like any of these outside entities to be honest!  MEDIA.  WALL STREET.  CELEBRITIES.  Isn't there any group of people that are NICE?  Possibly Improvisers.  Maybe even Musicians.  OR maybe those groups of people are the Worst Of The Worst!  Hopefully I'll find out one day!  WALL STREET?  YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.  STREET IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE GROUND.  You can't drive down a WALL, man!  Gravity wouldn't allow it.  Haven't you heard the Supreme Court?  LAWS AREN'T REAL ANYMORE.  We're repealing Everything Including Gravity, c'mon!  Probably shoulda thought this through before we repealed gravity.  Gonna start floating away from my house irreparably pretty soon!  Modest Mouse told us that Gravity Rides Everything.  I don't know how the song itself goes but I've seen the title enough times!  WHO IS THAT COMMENT FOR.  Modest Mouse, I suppose.  I think they'd get a kick out of being referenced in this blog.  Even if it wasn't really necessary.  FOR EVERYONE ELSE though it's kinda clunky.
    Is Modest Mouse in the room with us now.  They're gonna be alive on Earth for decades.  What are the odds they DON'T work their way around to this entry AT SOME POINT.  Very Low!  Okay.  Yes.  It's called Crazy Sheet for a reason.  OK ANYWAY.  I've been CRAZY for too long this entry.  I think I should inhabit SHEET for a while, now.  I don't know what that means.  But that shouldn't stop me from doing it!  Probably shouldn't Be Someone Who I Don't Know Who They Are.  Oh.  That's all I got in life, though!  I'll figure out who I was in retrospect!  Once it is no longer relevant!  You can't, like, BE A PERSON, man!  We're all just, like, DOING THINGS.  Oh.  Okay.  What if The Person That I Am is The Kind Of Person Who's Always Doing Things.  That's a thought.  IS IT THOUGH.  Anyway.  Got an entire half of the entry left to go.  I think I'll try to write DIFFERENTLY than I just wrote the first five paragraphs!  WHAT'S THE POINT in writing the same way!  NOTHIN'.  I'm not even convinced there's a point to My Life In General. Let alone this worthless enterprise.  What would the point of my life be.  See how high a score I can get.  Try to crack The Top Ten.  Enter in my initials at the end.  Oh okay.
    Halfway through.  We get points through doing good deeds and acts of kindness!  NOT LIKE WHAT YOU WERE THINKING!  Oh Okay.  Just ate a gummy a few minutes ago.  Delightful!  How about we get points for ACTS OF RESISTANCE and SOCIAL CONSCIOUSNESS.  That's a different game.  I think there's an appetite for it though.  I wanna play that game!  Anyway.  Does anyone look at the top ten records of a arcade video game and then FOCUS IN on #4 and be like WOW CJB came in 4th WHAT'S THAT PERSON'S STORY THEY APPARENTLY DID REAL WELL IN THIS GAME ONE TIME.  No. No One Cares.  MAYBE the person who came in 1st people take note of their initials.  And if someone's initials take up multiple spots in the top ten, people will notice that.  OTEHRWISE NO ONE CARES ABOUT ANY OF YOUR INITIALS in the other Top Nine Spots!  Makes yourself feel good.  That's what counts.  The notoriety isn't the point.  IT'S ABOUT SELF-LOVE.  No it's not.  It's about bragging rights.  We're talking about the same thing, right?  Video Game High Score Records?  BOTH VIEWPOINTS ARE VALID.  Oh okay.
   I've never been good at arcade games.  Never played 'em long enough to get good at 'em!  Also, untalented!  Also, not enough quarters!  Is ARCADE FIRE the band name a violation of the law.  You can't shout Fire in a crowded theater.  So how are you allowed to shout it IN A crowded Arcade In a Band Name.  Huh.  That's Nonsense.  I LIKE IT.  At what point does a band become a symphony.  Is Arcade Fire technically at that point?  AM I technically at that point?  I got a lot of people In My Head!  No, no, I'm just a One Man Person.  AS FAR AS I KNOW.  None of us are all alone.  We're all part of the same living, breathing entity called Humanity.  AND IT SUCKS.  WE'RE ALL ONE BIG JERK.  Most of the time we seem alright but that's just a facade.  Underneath it we're... we're... I dunno.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Doesn't matter.  Wish my newer acoustic guitar was working.  My older one is working but I don't LIKE that one!  Still can use electric guitar!  Thus is the state of my guitars!  Electric guitar is fine.  I like the sound of electric guitar.  What's wrong with that!
    Three paragraphs to go.  Awesomazing.  What band name should I apply to New Music Project.  Could use my regular name.  But my last name is Kornblum and that might confuse people on account of the band name Korn.  They really fucked me up making that band name!  Why did they have to do that!  BECAUSE IT WAS THERE.  Oh, right.  Why do I have to complain about everything.  BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS THERE.  I dunno.  I don't think I'm always complaining.  That's a falsehood!  Hmm.  Note To Self-- Upcoming Songs shouldn't just be me complaining.  Doesn't mean I Can't Complain!  But that shouldn't be ALL THERE IS TO IT.  What should I Not Complain About.  Oh.  So Many Things!  Where to even start!  WHAT'S ON TV.  LISTENING TO TE SAME OL SONGS ON THE RADIO.  POLITICS.  That's what STICKS IN MY CRAW off the top of my head.  Very very rough draft of What Sticks On My Craw.  Don't take it to heart.  It's Eighth Paragraph Wednesday!  Who knows how meaningful that means!   
   Penultimate paragraph.  What is the goal of muysic ultimately.  Inspire feelings or thoughts in listener?  I don't get it.  That doesn't make sense to me.  As Far As I Know, just try to do something that is SOUND and has INTERNAL LOGIC and the rest will work itself out.  OK LET'S DO THAT.  THE SOUND INTERNAL LOGIC THING.  Sounds simple enough.  I'm liking Community a lot!  When it runs out I guess I'm onto 30 Rock where we last left at the Third or Fourth Season.  When that's done I DUNNO.  POSSIBLY I'M GOING TO HELL.  At some point in either my life or afterlife I will be done with all the TV Shows man has ever made and the only thing left is Literal Hell.  But for now TV SHOWS A-PLENTY.  Try to stay positive.  WHAT IF I GO TO HEAVEN?  I never Blew No Pope, how the hell am I gonna make it to Heaven?  I guess we'll see!  I'll bring us all to Heaven with my songs.  That's what there's a 12.5% chance of happening this Winter Vacation.  Alright.  What's a good brand for keyboard.  Yamaha is a pretty clever sequence of syllables.  Can't go wrong with Sony.  I don't think Sony makes Keyboards.  Well, one day they might.
    Guess what!  Last paragraph!  I can't wait to get to Heaven.  What's it like?  STAINED GLASS WINDOWS as far as the eye can see.  Everyone wears sweaters ALL TEH TIME.  If you accidentally kill yourself you regenerate instantly NO HARM DONE.  So anyway that's my theory.  We'll see what happens!  None of that is gonna happen.  We're gonna die and be eaten by worms.  THAT KINDA SOUNDS OKAY.  I'LL BE DEAD RIGHT.  NO MORE LIVING?  AWESOME.  Anyway.  Looking forward to it!  Wouldn't wanna be dead FOREVER but for a few millennia it'd be alright!  I don't think that's the deal.  We die and we're dead forever.  Oh.  Now I'm not sure I like it anymore!  Gonna have to look into that one.  IN WHAT, THE NECRONOMICON?  Yeah.  Why not.  Anyway.  WE ARE AT THE END OF THE ENTRY.  I guess today was a snooze but that's life for ya.  One day I'm gonna be better at being entertaining I think and I wanna thank you for sticking with me now while I was at my Mediocre-ist.  Who cares.  Oh.  I don't know what matters and what doesn't matter!  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-4:51 P.M.           

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

I Don't Remember Writing This Title

    Great!  Another entry!  Think I'm looking forward to taking next week off from The Blog.  Gonna work on music instead HOPEFULLY.  Either that or Just Waste It!  Anyway time to write All The Stuff I Haven't Gotten Around To Yet.  You know Favorite Colors, Stuff I Did When I was 13-14, how I feel about the spin-off Blogs they're writing based on this one, where I fall on Plastic VS. Paper...  Hmm.  I'm PRO-Plastic.  If it's bad for the environment then it must be GOOD FOR US.  I should have a hand in any Spin-off enterprises really!  Then again I never copywrighted this website.  I dunno if you can!  I know there's the working man's trick of e-mailing the website to yourself but the current thought is That Doesn't Really Count.  Feels like I watched a movie last night but I can't remember which one.  It's occurring to me I'M IN POOR SHAPE.  That's like if the movie Poor Things met The Shape Of Water!  Or that movie about black women in NASA I wanna say.  I can't remember the title to that one.  SHAPE isn't in that title but whatever the title is feels CLOSE to Shape.  Hidden Figures.  Shapes are geometry.  Maybe that's what I was thinking?  OH.  I know what I was thinking.  SOME DUMB SHIT.  Nothing.  The Dumbest Shit Of All!  And I spend practically all my time There Thinking Nothing!  Step One is admitting you have a problem.
    How many steps are there. I got Tae Kwon Do at 3:30.  I wouldn't be surprised if there's 10-14 steps!  Okay.  Read a couple of pages of Angela's Ashes this morning because I'm a loquacious reader.  Does everyone remember their toddlerhood as well as this guy does? I know I don't but I don't even remember my Yesterdayness so my experience is irrelevant to be considerated as a relatable person.   Is it possible Frank McCourt FABRICATED this entire story?  Anything is possible! Along those lines, I gotta find out if UCB improvisers regularly make up stories.  The people who regularly perform in shows.  For the parts of improv where they tell real life stories which will later be Improvised based on.  I think when I was younger and not active in this community I was like these jerks probably make up the stories that are supposed to be true.  But now that I'm in the classes I never even considered making up stories!  I FIGURED EVERYTHING WAS ON THE LEVEL.  Now, though, it's occurring to me there might be a secret subculture of improvisers Making Up Shit To Our Faces and laughing about it behind our backs!  Answer is probably in the middle.  Most people are honest 95+% of the time but there are a few bad apples.   
   OK.  I dunno!  I JUST DON'T KNOW.  I don't think I would wanna be a Story Maker Upper.  It might help me participate more but that's not in the spirit of the show!  Unless it IS in the spirit of the show!  Maybe the standard methods of long form improv were DESIGNED TO BE CHEATED ON WITH FROM THE START.  I dunno.  Probably not!  Maybe they were designed to give you that choice if you wanted to.  I should go see a show.  I haven't actually seen any Improv Show this entire time the last year and a half since I started taking classes!  Huh.  Makes sense.  Well, anyway!  McCourt family has to sleep in the same bed every day.  I don't think I've ever had to do that with my family!  Or with anyone else's family!  Pretty much always got to sleep in my own bed!  Think I might try sleeping on the floor tonight!  Maybe not Final Going To Sleep but I might LAY ON THE FLOOR FOR FUN for a bit.  It's good for your constitution laying on the hard cold floor.  There's worse places to be.  You can use blanketries and whatknot, too!  Also my floor is carpeted.  PLUS you can watch TV or listen to music or something since you're not gonna be fallign asleep!
   Fourth paragraph.  Alright!  Seven paragraphs to go!  Then who knows what I'll watch!  I WILL.  When it happens.  Then I won't!  HISTORY WILL FORGET.  Lucky me!  Good.  I could make use of that info.  Watch the most Forgettable thing possible tonight!  Really make the most of it!  What's that.  More Community probably.  No, I'd remember that.  I have to watch a unique thing for me to forget it.  How about pornography.  No.  We're taking REAL ENTERTAINMENT.  Like ELF or something.  I put on ELF last night for 5 minutes and lost interest.  Not my thing for right now!  I can't relate to Will Ferrell!  Why not.  I guess I just relate more to the antagonist in the movie I guess!  Who's the antagonist in Elf.  There's no EVIL ELF or anything.  I guess possibly his love-withholding father?  THE STORE BOSS WHO DOESN'T LIKE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS?  SOCIETY WHOM DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH CHRISTMAS CHEER AT FIRST?  I dunno.  OH.  I guess the Devil is Santa/Elves antagonist in real life.  But he doesn't show up in this movie.  Not in the flesh.        
    Fifth paragaph.  Sweet!  I was a little too old for Elf when it came out in theaters but we liked it anyway!  HOW ABOUT THAT FOR A TRIUMPH OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT.  Anyway.  One thing I watched yesterday was Tom Scharpling's stand-up from earlier this year!  That was good!!  He makes me laugh and feel good for the most part!  I didn't like the opening introduction where he's probably mostly pretending to be like a right wing, "edgelord?" comic and whatknot.  It was SCARY.  I got SPOOKED.  Who behaves this way EVEN IN JEST?  It seemed like it's meant to inspire feelings like Maybe This Worldview Is Partially Accurate which is FRIGHTENING.  HOW TRUE IS IT AND WHICH PARTS.  LEMME GET OUT MY NOTEPAD AND A PENCIL.  I GOTTA WRITE THIS DOWN.  Anyway.  I don't use pencils.  I use pens!  This is the 21st century and the third decade I guess!  FEELS like the second decade to me.  Cause it's the 20's.  Makes me think of the number Two!  But this whole time we've actually been halfway through THE THIRD DECADE.  Wow.  Hmm.  The good news is I guess I got distracted and want to move on to a new subject.  Story of my life!
    Halfway through the entry!  Whatever.  I'm sick of cancel culture!  They cancel me when I'm out taking a walk!  They cancel me at the coffee shop!  They cancel me when I try to go to bed!  OH. I was watching FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION last night!  That's a funny movie.  I'm enjoying it!  It reminds me that I have no business thinking I could be good at acting.  How do you act funny like you're playing a part and then differentiate that from acting funny like you're acting funny acting funny playing a part like in one of these movies.  I couldn't do that!  Maybe I could if I was ever put into that situation.  I dunno!  I'm not really one to RISE TO THE OCCASION.  Sort of one to meet the occasion WHERE I'M AT.  Have the occasion COME TO ME where I already was.  That's one way to go about things.  A Shitty Way!  Watched most of Dead Poet's Society over the weekend.  I don't like it!  Also I want to like Poetry in real life but IT SUCKS.  I think I'd like poetry if we just had A Bunch Of Different Poems.  Poetry as a concept is good but ALL THE POETRY WE GOT IS TERRIBLE!
   Huh.  Surely the kind of poetry I would like IS OUT THERE ALREADY.  I just gotta find it!  FIND IT?  Now I don't like it anymore.  Too much work.  Don't even get me started on Having To Read It Once I Find It!  YAWN.  I liked it for a second while I imagined It Didn't Exist but now that it's real and would be work to read I GOT NO USE FOR IT.  Anyway.  I could write new fangled poetry.  I could write THE BEST new poetry.  I could be the best poet in the world actually.  I GET WORDS AND LETTERS LIKE NO ONE ELSE.  Fuckin' one word after another?  In poetry form?  Let's Say Times New Roman Size 12 in Microsoft Word?  I could knock that out of the park if I tried.  Anyway.  WELL.  IT'S SEASON TWO.  WHO'S MY FAVORITE, "COMMUNITY?"  What do you want me to say.  I can't give you the answer you're looking for.  I've got some thoughts but none of them matter right now.  They probably won't matter later, either!  What I think may never be relevant!  That doesn't sound right.  When I take Improv Classes What I Think To Say is relevant because people are looking at me hanging on my every word.  For better or worse!  WOW.  SO MUCH POWER.
   Eighth paragrpah.  Seems like there shuold be a film called For Better Or Worse and it's about a Newly Wed Couple and it's about their Financial Status becoming a lot worse immediately after their marriage.  JUST AN IDEA.  Is there a career in Hollywood where it's literally your job to come up with Titles.  No.  I don't think there are any jobs in Hollywood period.  That can't be true!  There must be DOZENS of employed people in the TV & Film industry!  Anyway.  What else is up.  Will my Week Off from Website extend through New Years Holiday?  Take AN entire 1.5/2 weeks off?  I dunno.  That's a long break.  I wasn't thinking so BUT I GUESS we'll see how I feel!  New Years is my favorite holiday of the year.  I SHOULD ENJOY IT.  Why.  What does me enjoying New Years DO FOR TEH WORLD EXACTLY?  We don't know.  Hasn't happened yet.  Maybe A Lot.  Oh.  Okay.  Very good!  Wait hold on PROBABLY NOTHING.  Oh.  Okay.  That's fine, too!  Alright.
   Penultimate paragraph.  I could write song lyric poetry!  ABAB.  AABB.  You know that kind of thing.  Anyway.  How's everyone doing.  A little bit of entry left!  Who exactly am I imagining is out there.  Apparently People To Some Extent!  So that's good.  I was thinking about Smells Like Teen Spirit recently and FOR ME Teen Spirit smells like the Indian girl I carpooled with to the train station's breakfast which was really gross.  TURNED ME OFF OF PEOPLE COMPLETELY.  Whatever she had for breakfast made her smell really bad in the car and after that I wanted to have nothing to do with HER or ANYONE altogether I think!  That's high school I guess.  For this paragraph.  Maybe next week I'll have a new alternative concise definition of what Teen Spirit Smelled Like To Me.  I went to the High School Cafeteria a couple of times.  That smelled like something.  Was able to go outside to McDonalds in high school.  That was a perk of this school!  They let ya leave during lunch and free periods!  I went there alone for lunch my first semester freshman year!  Smells!  Huh.
    Last paragraph.  I wanna say the school library smelt like something but I don't think it did!  That would be more or less a lie!  I could say it anyway.  I don't see why though.  I could express how I felt about being in the library by making up a smell for it though.  Huh.  I don't think I wanna do that right now.  But thanks for letting me know it's something I could do if I felt like it!  Anyway.  I enjoyed my time in School Library.  That's where I spent time with Friends.  Good times.  Mostly played poker in the back of the room.  It was fun and productive!  I made a profit!  That's a slam dunk way to spend your free periods!  Now I Know How Rounders Felt.  So that's good.  Almost done with the entry, though.  That's also good!  WHAT ISN'T GOOD?  Most things.  Everything Except for Me and What I Do.  Something like that.  I dunno.  Who cares.  None of what I say matters really!  GOOD NEWS IS I got a blank slate for tomorrow.  Get to try to do a good job all over again!  Anyway.  I'll see ya!

-3:53 P.M.      
  
   

Monday, December 16, 2024

I've Never Been So Sure Of Something In My Life

    Oh okay.  Hey!  I have to write fourty paragraphs now this week!  I DEMAND SYMPATHY.  Perhaps even INTERVENTION.  Well anyway.  I had a pretty good weekend!  I started reading Angela's Ashes which I have never read before!  I found an LIRR Monthly Ticket from 2004 in it as a bookmark in the first dozen pages so I guess I gave it a shot when I was in high school for some reason but that's as far as I got.  I like it!  A lot!  I legitimately got out of my own head for a while and it's okay because the reality I'm escaping to is Pretty Shitty Also!  I give myself permission to get into this because It's Even Worse Than My Real Life!  Wikipedia calls it Tragicomic or something, though.  When you read it there's not many jokes or anything but I guess if you squint your eyes just right it's kind of funny!  Unlike this website which is Comitragic.  Where it has lots of jokes but when you read it it's mostly kind of sad.  I think the website is pretty straight up Tragicomic too.  Oh.  Good.  Self awareness!
   Okay.  Now I have to write 39 more paragraphs for the week!  I can relate to these people in Angela's Ashes because I was once a person as well.  I am still technically a person but I'm really only just going through the motions!  I dunno.  Just Going Through The Motions is maybe the most Personable thing A Person can do!  What does Personable mean.  To Be Like A Person I would assume!  My second, probably more accurate, guess is To Be Likable (By Other Persons).  The answer is that Personable means, "Having pleasant manner or appearance."  Kind of a combo between the two answers!  Great.  That makes sense.  NOW WHERE WAS I.  Watched Joker II on TV last night.  This time I got more out of the musical numbers because I wasn't peeing during them.  Not the entire time at least.  Joker makes an appearance in the song, "Ace Of Spades."  And Don't Forget The Joker.  Good thing they said not to.  I would have!  When we're talking about cards in the deck of cards I will normally be leaving out the joker!  Not anymore I guess!  Probably will default back to leaving out the joker.
   Yeah!  I don't know any reason to include the joker!  I don't know any good games with it or anything!  How many jokers are in a deck traditionally.  TWO?  How come Joker never has a twin in movies then.  Seems like a metaphor to explore!  How would we go about doing that.  I DUNNO I'M OFF THE CLOCK.  Well I'm On SOME OTHER CLOCK at least.  Anyway.  Frank McCourt taught English at Stuyvesant!  Before my time!  But good for him!  What clock am I on.  Website Clock.  Don't call it that.  It's Crazysheet.net Clock.  That's taking it slightly more seriously.  I've been working at the website, a ninth of the live long day.  I think about it all day though.  It's my 24/7 passion.  The way that The Passion Of The Christ was Jesus's passion.  Anyway.  My eyes are drawn to the, "Azy," in crazysheet and it makes me think of having to recite the alphabet backwards when you're pulled over for doing Drunk Driving.  THIS IS LIKE THINKING IT IS.  I very rarely THINK but that might be an example of what it's like!  I assume you've never Thought before.  Let me explain it to you in a way that is unreadable.   
    Ok.  It's kind of readable!  I can read everything I've written so far!  Anyway.  I wonder what happens to the McCourt family now that they're in Ireland.  I wonder what happens to MY FAMILY now that we're IN AMERICA.  Yeah.  That's a good point.  I lost track of relating to my family coinciding with me not being much of a person.  But reading about the McCourts reminds me of my own imperfect unit!  WE'RE OKAY.  For now!  They live in different rooms than I do, I Dunno!  NOT MUCH TO SAY REALLY.  Must be more to say than that.  IT'S ALL GREAT.  I GOT A BOOK TO READ.  Family will work itself out.  OR DIE TRYING.  Anyway.  Watched some films over the weekend.  I enjoyed The Invention Of Lying.  About half of it was really good!  About a fifth of it was pretty condescending, though!  WHAT?  CONDENSATION?  I DON'T LIKE IT.  NO THANK YOU.  MY LEFT FOOT IS ON PINS AND NEEDLES AND WHATKNOT.  THAT SENSATION.  RIGHT NOW.  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT.  ABOUT AT A FOUR OUT OF TEN LEVEL.  Probably just try to hold on until it goes away. 
   Fifth paragraph.  It must be here for a reason.  Can I REASON WITH IT to get it to leave me be?  I dunno.  Is there an Angela's Ashes movie?  Lemme LTURQ.  Yeah tehre is.  Mystery solved!  I can't IMAGINE this book is ACTUALLY ABOUT ANGELA'S ASHES.  Can't be more than a few pages at most devoted to the subject of Angela's Ashes.  Which I presume is a dead person (Child?  Baby?)'s cremated remains.  NO SPOILERS though!  Guess we'll see!  Made a little bit of progress in music.  Sat down and improvised some songing old fashioned style!  Just verse and chorus Making Up Song Like The Real Way It's Done for once.  Just letting it come out of me.  It wasn't GOOD and I dunno if I'll ever make anything out of whatever it was but that could be a key moment in My Musical History!  I gotta write five more paragraphs now!  That could be a key moment in My Crazysheet.net History!  Look, I dunno!  What else is up.  I gotta write better.  I have half an entry to work with so there's no reason I CAN'T do it!  Space is there.  I just gotta occupy it! 
  Oh great.  I like The Irish.  FOR NOW.  They haven't personally offended me.  I can relate to the characters in Angela's Ashes because they suffer from extreme poverty and I clearly suffer from some sort of head injury.  So it's not that different!  ANYWAY.  I figure I must have things to say.  I've thought many things over the last few days.  Most of them were masturbation thoughts and ideas but NOT ALL OF IT.  Hours and hours of non dirty thoughts!  WHERE DID THEY GO.  I dunno, maybe I just Never Thought Anything.  It's possible.  I'm more of a FEELER.  I feel my way through the day rather than think!  Oh.  How did I feel this weekend then.  Uninterestingly!  It's not important to you!  Don't even worry about it!  WHAT I FEEL DOESN'T IMPACT YOUR LIFE.  UNTIL IT DOES.  Huh.  Why would that be the case. I said it because It Completes The Thought Humorously.  But why would it make sense logically.  I dunno.  Maybe we should be more upfront with how we feel!  That way we can relate to each other more!  YEAH.  ALL I NEED.  MORE RELATIONS. 
   Seventh paragraph!  Wow!  I get to get delivery for dinner tonight!  Probably Italian Food!  That's what Luigi Mangioni's cell mate says or something.  Why is his sex, "Delivery," though.  Special Delivery.  I dunno.  YOU MONSTERS.  Celebrating this guy.  I don't relate to it!  You wanna normalize political violence or something?  Is that what you're up to?  WHAT'S THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT?  Everyone remember?  YOU SHOULDN'T MURDER -- Moses.  I believe he came up with it himself.  Smart guy!  Anyway I felt one way about Chevy Chase being in Community when it first came out and I feel another way about it now that I'm closer to his age.  I GET IT NOW.  I understand.  I understand that Chevy Chase has a reputation for being impersonable in real life.  HEY.  That's character assassination.  His character has been assassinated!  Is that a violation of the sixth amendment?  Not if he earned that reputation.  Surely he doesn't mean to be an asshole even if he is!  JUST BAD LUCK.  Just like Healthcare CEO.  HE DIDN'T MEAN IT.  JUST LOOK AT HIM HE'S SORRY.  Anyway.
   Three paragraphs to go.  What did he do that was so bad!  He doesn't care about human life!  WELL SO WHAT.  NO ONE IN POWER DOES.  NONE OF EM.  So that's good.  I guess I'm getting close to being done with this for the day!  My work here is done!  No it's not it's barely just begun.  Michael's Life Update-- Italian Food is probably no longer in the cards.  Parents are getting Diner Without Me so I'm just gonna get Random GrubHub.  Okay.  What does that mean.  Fast Food?  Chinese Food?  ITALIAN FOOD?  I dunno.  I guess.  What else is up.  I can live a good week this week.  If only I participate in the right activities.  Think the right thoughts.  WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO LIFE.  In Angela's Ashes the little children appreciate the simple things.  EATING MASHED POTATOES.  GETTING TO GO TO SLEEP.  WHEN THEIR FATHER ISN'T DRUNK.  I should live my life the same way!  Seemed to work for these folks!  It's a formula for success is what it is!  My father doesn't drink at all.  His body can't tolerate it if he has more than one drink!  One time he drank too much and bad things happened. 
   That never happened.  Penultimate paragraph.  "HBO Ends Partnership With Sesame Street," So Says My Dad Out Loud To Nobody Downstairs.  If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen!  He wasn't in the kitchen he was in the living room.  Oh OKAY now I'm getting a lay of the land.  Now I gotta remember to keep a blueprint in the back of my mind of the first floor of the house I've lived in my entire life.  Whatever.  A paragraph and a half to go!  I like it when I say things!  No reason to think I wouldn't like it when I say THESE UPCOMING things!  Well what's on my mind.  You can't, like, have something on your mind!  Your mind is electrical impulses.  That's debatable.  Not by me!  I've exhausted all my thoughts on it!  But I can draft two readers to debate on it for my pleasure, sure!  One person is all THERE ARE GLANDS OF BRAIN THAT DO THINGS and the other one is all like I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN DEBATING, WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE.
   Last paragraph.  31 paragraphs left to go for the week!  Finally!  So that's good.  I'm gonna write a good entry tomorrow I think.  Feels right.  BUT NOT WEDNESDAY.  TAKE A BREAK FROM GOODNESS WEDNESDAY.  Back at it on Thursday.  Then have a decent weekend!  Looking at the word Wednesday I can't help but focus in on, "NES," which reminds me of the NES or Nintendo Entertainment System which was a pioneering video game device.  I HAD IT.  It's from 1985 and I was born 3 years later but I remember owning it!  I SHUOLD BE WRITING MEMOIRS MYSELF WITH THIS TYPE OF CONTENT.  What's wrong with me.  I have the beginnings of Something To Say.  Now all I need to do is Make It Better!  Huh!  I dunno.  I guess we'll see!  Anyway probably should find a good movie to put on tonight.  Nights are for Films -- Moses.  That guy was the gift that kept on giving!  Anyway.  In many ways this website is my memoirs.  All the things I've done and did.  You know what?  I've accomplished very little in my time on Earth!  Too busy HERE.  Huh.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:06 P.M.   
     

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Who's To Say What I'm Saying Or Not Saying

    Hey friends!  Last entry of the week!  Let's get it over with.  Today I turn 36!  Perfect square.  I've lived six years of life SIX TIMES.  Got a delivery of contact lenses today.  That's a fair way to celebrate!  Other things I do will be Same Shit I Do Every Day.  Therapist suggested I find a job in a music store because I like music.  Look, I like music for a random person.  Compared to Music People, I don't Know Music though!  She also suggested book store along the same lines.  I Don't Like And Know Books the way Book People like and know books!  So what am I capable of?  I'm capable of Seeing My Therapist And Other Doctors.  I've really gotten that down to a science.  Is there a way I can monetize that?  You can't make money for doing Psychiatry Appointments.  What if we air them on TV as some sort of reality show.  Hmm.  I think someone pitched that in my Late Night Comedy Class.  For the Game assignment.  The game was Host and Guests compete providing therapy to someone.  Ah.  Mine isn't for fun though.  Mine is FOR REAL.
    Anyway.  It's possible I see Wicked this weekend but at this point I'm probably just waiting for it to be on TV.  I COULD HAVE LIVED A MAGICAL LIFE and seen it on the big screen.  Instead I'll see it on a television screen.  Like some sort of asshole!  Why would it be any less magical.  IT'S A LOT SMALLER.  And LESS LOUD.  Less of a social commotion around it, too, for when I do finally put it on.  Also I'm less engaged laying in bed then if I'm At Attention sitting up mostly in theater.  Wow a good old fashioned Brain Storm.  I came up with four things.  Four meaningless things.  MOVE ON TIME.  Feels like I put on a movie last night but I can't remember what it was.  I watched some The Simpsons, maybe that's it!  I can't get enough of these people!  Hilarious.  I saw Milhouse is retiring.  The lady who does Milhouse's voice.  WHAT WOULD MILHOUSE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS.  Doens't matter.  We'll never hear it even if we had the dialogue written in front of us!  Milhouse would say I'm Milhouse.  Get A Load Of Me.  Something like that.
    Eight paragraphs to go.  Milhouse might be the most aptly named character in all of Western Canon. A rose by any other name would knot smell as sweet.  I dunno.  I accidentally referred to one character in Community as The Indian Nerd.  That character isn't Indian.  He's Middle Eastern.  I was wrong!  Looks like he's half Indian in real life!  So I'm some sort of Identifying People From Where They're Descended From In Real Life Genius it turns out.  I'M GREAT AT IT.  I CAN DO MIDDLE EASTERNERS, ASIANS... NOT SOUTH AMERICANS OR AFRICANS SO MUCH.  BUT I'D BE HAPPY TO GIVE IT A SHOT, SURE.  Show me a photo of someone and I'll guess where you should accurately deport that person to.  It's a living!  Anyway where was I.  PARAGRAPH THREE.  DAY THURSDAY.  MONTH WHATEVER.  What was I talking about though.  Community and then deportation.  That's not something I'm a fan of!  I don't think most people are.  Deportation.  Not Community.  Community has a 90% Rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  Deportation DOES NOT.  I don't think it's officially there because it's not a, "Movie," or, "T.V. Show," but if it was It'd be under 50%!  I'm guessings 37%!
    Okay.  Maybe it shuold be a movie or TV show!  Something to think about!  Anyway.  Seven paragraphs to go.  I guess I'll try to come up with a topic this time around.  I like DRUGS.  Wait no that's not true.  I'VE DONE DRUGS.  Oh, me and those moments in my history.  I can almost taste them!  Yeah.  Marijuana.  Alcohol.  The extras.  I make a good point!  I do like drugs!  ANYWAY.  I'll figure out some specifics to say Right Now.  Top Five Drug Uses Of My Life.  #5 Mushrooms For The First Time.  Did mushrooms with 2 friends from high school in my college dorm right before Sophomore Year Started.  We watched The Rules Of Attraction.  I saw the Mona Lisa in the Wallpaper.  Ordered Chinese Food.  #4  IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ MORE it'll cost ya $$$  Anyway.  I need to tell SOME STORIES.  You're paying me by giving me attention.  That's your most valuable resource.  I should Thank You From The Heavens!  Wha.  HEAVENS?  Oh Ok!  Anyway.  What do I like besides Drugs.  WHY ARE WE DONE WITH DRUGS.  THERE'S SO MUCH MORE THERE TO MINE.  I don't know about that.  Why does my drug use captivate The American Public.  Also what does my readership have to do with The American Public. On account of the notable crossover!  MOST OF MY READERS ARE AMERICAN. 
   Fifth paragraph.  Okay.  I guess I'll figure out some fun things to talk about.  Drugs.  You can be addicted to a lot of things!  I'M ADDICTED TO WOMEN'S HATS.  That's just me though.  I'm not sure I like these gummies!  They're relatively strong but they don't exactly make me happy!  Not exactly UNHIGH.  Maybe it's just this week.  I can't blame the way I feel during life completely on the kind of marijuana I'm taking.  Sometimes that's just the way life is supposed to be at that moment!  Anyway.  Where am I right now in my life.  Still in the solar system.  PAST SATURN, sure.  Right around Uranus!  Not sure why I'm supposed to TOLERATE THAT KIND OF TALK.  Oh well.  I liked that Adam Sandler movie where he's an astronaut in a space station and meets some sort of alien.  I can't remember what happened.  But it was a movie and just that alone in this day and age is a stunning achievement.  Anyway.  What could I watch tonight as a break from Community.  Oh I know.  Let the Streaming Service suggest something to me.  That way I'll have a good time for sure!
    Halfway through the entry!  I guess this should be good.  Might have been with three people when I did mushrooms the first time.  One of them was our Guide Friend who was acting sober!  THANKS.  The Rules Of Attraction is a pretty good movie.  I don't think I like it!  I haven't seen it in a long time.  So that's good.  The main character is related to American Psycho as an Easter Egg I think.  They're brothers.  Whatever.  What else is on my mind!  What are the rules of attraction.  Rule 1-- Be Attractive?  As far as I know, yeah!  What goes Up Must Come Down.  An object in motion TENDS to stay in motion TENDS.  THERE IS NO GOD.  That last one might be actually be a Rule of Attraction.  I FEEL MORE ATTRACTIVE PERSONALLY ALL OF A SUDDEN.  Anyway.  What else is WAIT A SECOND GOD MIGHT BE REAL AND IT MUST BE ATTRACTIVE FOR IT TO BE SO.  SORRY-- I wouldn't feel right leading my WebsiteCult telling you it's SEXY To Think There's No God!  THAT AIN'T SO.
   LOTS OF GOD out there probably!  Very Attractive!  Hmm.  I dunno.  Gonna wear some contact lenses tomorrow for the first time in weeks.  Great!  Now I won't be looking at things with less clarity LIKE A CHUMP.  BACK IN ACTION seeing things with Somewhat Greater Visual Focus!  This is what my entire life has led to.  Walking around and SEEING THINGS!  I don't think that's what my entire life has led to.  I also feel like I'd like to react and respond to the things I see.  You Know For Fun.  So that I have something to do while I'm here on this planet.  Oh.  I guess that's one way to live.  ALRIGHT THEN.  I guess.  I don't really know!  Three and a half paragraphs to go.  I could pick out a book from any number of book depositories we have in our house to read over the weekend.  Most of the good options are books I've read, but I probably enjoyed those books, so WHY NOT read them again!  LET'S GO WITH THAT AS A FUN WEEKEND.  Read a Good Book For A Second Time! 
   Eighth paragraph.  I was recently listening to an, "Album," of my music from a time that I rarely listen to called 2010 and 2011.  KIND OF GOOD STUFF.  This isn't the worst thing in the world.  Maybe this is good inspiration for New Music.  OH RIGHT I USED TO BE ABLE TO CONJURE UP SONGS EASILY NATURALLY.  Just THINKING THAT is inspiration enough!  Unfortunately I Forgot It.  I THOUGHT IT BRIEFLY THOUGH.  Was helpful for a few minutes!  So that's good.  Maybe it echoes back into my mind some more over the weekend.  Could still be there somewhere!  Whatever!  2.5 paragraphs to go!  What else is echoing in my mind.  50's Echo.  It's a guitar effect I see sometimes.  I don't personally use it very often.  Maybe I should be, though.  WHAT DO YOU THINK?  What are the odds I die in the 2050's.  I dunno!  I'd be in my sixties more or less!  That's a little early to die!  Unless WE ALL die in the 2050's!  Which sounds plausible!  SEE YA TEHRE!
   Penultimate pragraph!  TAKE IT BACK.  Ok I take it back!  Sorry.  We're not all gonna die in the 2050's.  That's better.  We're all just getting started in the 2050's!  YEAH.  Fine.  Two paragraphs left to write.  They will mean everything to everybody.  I listened to two singles from the Bob DYlan movie where Timothy Chalomayet sings the songs.  It's okay!  But why would people ever want to listen to it!  NOW I KNOW EXACTLY how people feel when confronted with the opportunity to listen to my music.  IT'S OKAY.  BUT WHY WOULD PEOPLE EVER WANT TO LISTEN TO IT.  Ah.  It all adds up now.  I thought my phone was charging this entire entry.  IT HASN'T BEEN.  I thought my phone was charging overnight last night.  IT WASN'T.  Because of these two mistakes MY PHONE IS NOW BARELY CHARGED.  Also I WANT TO LISTEN TO THE TIMOTHY CHALOMET MUSIC.  I'm gonna put it on ASAP.  You can't keep a good song down!  Okay.  I think I know what I wanna do when I write new songs.  No I don't.  Oh interesting counterproposal. 
   Last paragraph.  Ok.  Just talked to my brother for 20 minutes on the phone.  He wished me a Happy Birthday and everything!  Wonderful.  Anything good happen today?  Well we're all still alive.  That's the good news.  We've barely been entertained.  That's the bad news.  Oh No.  A failure of a day!  That's going on my permanent record!  History Won't Forget!  Probably not.  Guess I can take a walk after this paragraph.  Listen to music on my phone without earphones like a sociopath.  Oh because I'm being sociable.  Sharing music with the neighborhood.  THAT'S THE KIND OF GUY I AM!  Anyway.  It's hard to believe I'm still on the first season of Community when they're already on their second semester of community college.  Something about it feels off!  I see the series goes six seasons long.  That's a long time for them to be in community college!  I wonder how they pull off explaining THAT.  We'll have to keep watching I guess to find out.  Anyway that's it for now.  I'll see ya next week. 

-5:50 P.M.

Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Jokes Might Happen But Don't Get Your Hopes Up

    Hi.  Ten paragraphs.  That'll happen whether they're quality or not!  Probably gonna be some sort of quality.  Even if it's Poor.  Poor is a kind of quality!  It's an honor just to be Qualitated!  Saw my therapist this morning.  It's not every day I see a therapist and a psychiatrist one day after another!  Wonder what effect that will have on my Day-To-Day psyche. So far it's made me point out the fact that it happened.  Am I THINKING about things differently though?  Yeah, I think so!  I'm more In My Head about things!  How do I get out of here.  I dunno, where I would rather go.  I could focus my energy or life force or focus all over at any part of my body.  Brain is just ONE POSSIBILITY.  You know shoulders, wrists, knees and toes.  Fingernails.  Folds Of Fat.  Why live in your mind when you can live as far away from your intelligence-center as possible.  I don't like the things I know.  And the things I know don't like me!  I gotta figure out new things to know that are mutually likable.  Cause you're gonna wanna live in your brain ultimately I think.  I am?  Are you sure?  No.  Maybe you aren't.  But most people would. 
   OK.  I don't get what I'm talking about but I assume it makes sense to some degree!  Should I go back to figure out what I was talking about.  No, it's too late now!  I went back and figured out what I was sort of talking about.  I GET IT.  THINGS.  NOW I HAVE ALL THE KNOWLEDGE IN THE WORLD.  All The Knowledge In The World?  WHO CARES.  Really nothing is worth knowing.  And so even though I know Basically Nothing in actuality, I KNOW EVERYTHING WORTH KNOWING.  That's my philosophy.  For this paragraph it is!  Actually JUST RAN OUT ALREADY.  Already realizing stuff I don't know that'd be real worthwhile to be aware of!  Ah well.  Gotta share my knowledge and experience with you!  That's what blogs are all about!  Not for me to speculate on things I am unfamiliar with!  Alright what are some things I know about.  I don't have anything in my mind on account of not being a real person.  I've spent time as a real person in my past!  WHAT OF THOSE TIMES.  Seem to be drawing a blank.  I was good at COMPUTER GAMES when I was a kid!  But that was a long time ago.  I'm not sure how many stories I could share!  ANYWAY.  THAT'S LIFE.
    WHO AM I TALKING TO.  Well where did we leave me last when I was traveling my body.  Possible it was lower foot.  Shin to ankle area.  Both left and right at the same time.  Alright.  That's pretty cool.  I get to be multiple places at once!  What a lifestyle.  What else is up.  I'd like to move to the arm equivalent of that right now.  Wrists and Armshins.  Awesome!  Wrists ARE ALREADY the Armshins.  Oh.  Okay!  Whatever.  Finished The Family Man last night.  They made him go back to his old life!  I thought they'd let him keep his New One!  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.  Show someone a better way and then snatch it from him just as he's getting to appreciate it.  He ends up with Tea Leoni in the end though anyway.  I assume we all do.  NO I will not elaborate on that theory of life!  YOU HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN.  It's one of life's finest pleasures!  Wasting time figuring out Your Theories Of Life!  Particularly The One Where Everyone Ends Up With Tea Leoni.  P.S. it's not real.  Don't try to spend time on that because IT'S A JOKE.  DON'T WASTE TIME ON IT.  No offense to Tea Leoni.  I'm sure we'd all love to end up with her.  But THE IDEA THAT IT WOULD HAPPEN FOR ALL OF US I HADN'T CONSIDERED UNTIL JUST NOW.
    Eh!  What else is going on.  One ¶ at a time!  Now's the time for the fourth!  I'm scared my life is going nowhere.  That's a legitimate fear I assume lots of us have.  Hmm.  Where should we go instead of nowhere.  Climb Mountain.  Dive Sea.  Donkey Ride Canyons.  Go see the new Bob Dylan movie.  I like him as a musician AND as a friend!  I... uh... huh?  I can't claim Bob Dylan as a personal friend of mine!  Yet I just did.  I wonder what makes me think that way.  Probably that Friend-o-Gram he sent me that one time.  That'd do it!  I consider his lyrics to be some of the best in history and also 10% about me!  Wouldn't you think someone is your friend if they're constantly alluding to you in their incomprehensible rhyming couplets?  I dunno probably not.  Oh.  Well you're a bigger man than I am.  Yeah probably.  DANGIT.  What else is up.  Six more paragraphs after this one!  Should go reasonably well.  I read Bob Dylan's autobiography.  I know more about his life than my own at this point!  AND TO BE HONEST I FORGET BOTH COMPLETELY.
   Fifth paragraph.  I FORGET so I can CREATE ANEW.  So far no real opportunity to create anything lasting but ONE DAY I'll get that chance I think!  Someone give me some sort of opportunity.  Work, Social, industrial.  Something that's all three if I'm lucky!  I think once I've begged for a Work or Social or Industrial Opportunity for the 5,000th time you legally have to offer me something.  The law is on the books as they say.  Books.  I know those things.  Words are in those.  I can read!  Yeah.  I can read.  Words.  Which are found in books.  Which the law is on in a popular saying.  What was I talking about again.  I'm not sure I like Community.  It's okay.  Who's to say we have to like everything we do.  I'm not working for a living. I don't have a wife and kids I support.  AT THE VERY LEAST I SHOULD BE LIVING A LIFE I LIKE.  Oh.  I don't think that's possible.  They don't make things I Would Like That Much.  That it would actually make me Like My Life.  Maybe I should MAKE IT MYSELF.  THAT'S BIG TALK FROM A SMALL MAN. 
   Halfway through the entry!  What movie should I put on tonight.  DID THEY MAKE ANY NEW MOVIES SINCE YESTERDAY.  No.  Not really!  Not professional major motion pictures.  They must have, "Wrapped," on something!  WHY.  Because THINGS MUST HAPPEN.  Nothing happens all the time.  RIGHT NOW Nothing Is Happening ACROSS THE GLOBE As We Speak.  Everywhere you look There Is Nothing Going On NONSTOP!  The Lack Of Action is the default setting for humanity!  Okay.  Whatever.  Who cares.  Probably 1 in 6 people.  I'M ONE OF THEM.  I am very anti-Nothing Happening.  IT SERVES IT'S PURPOSE SURE.  A horrible purpose!  Anyway.  Took a gummy at the beginning of the paragraph!  I should start trying to think of a good Troupe Name for an Improvisational Troupe.  JUST IN CASE it ever comes to that.  I'm taking the classes!  Goes to figure I might one day Live The Life!  Hmm.  Phrase.  Lemme think for a second.  No.  Can't think of any phrase off the top of my head.  OH WELL.  As I get closer to Class Day I'm sure I'll be able to think of a 2 or 3 word phrase!  We're all screwed.  ALL OF HUMAN LIFE.  Is Human Life a good Improv Group Name?  Worth remembering I guess. [Editor's Note -- too repetitive of Human Giant Sketch Comedy Group!!]
    So that's good I guess.  It has an internal logic to it!  Not going to be a FINAL NAME no.  What Else Is Up.  Practically many things!  I just can't THINK of them!  I KNOW WHAT'S UP.  THE LIGHTBULBS IN MY ROOM.  SURROUNDED BY SOME SORT OF LAMPSHADE.  THAT'S what's Up!  Saw a nurse who I hadn't seen in like 7 or 8 years earlier this morning.  I was like 30-50 pounds heavier back then!  She complimented me on weight loss!  HEY GREAT.  I should be even thinner though.  Not really a conscious concern of mine though the last year or three!  WHO KNOWS when it might make a comeback, though!  Life priorities can change at any given moment!  I'm TOO DUMB to control what I care about!  ONE DAY I MIGHT START FRETTING ABOUT MY WEIGHT AND WHATKNOT and there's nothing I can do about it!  We like to think we have control over our lives but it's all an illusion!  Maybe it's just me.  DANGIT.  Well that's still good I guess.  I'd be happy to learn lots of other people have control over their lives.  GOOD FOR THEM.  I'm real happy about it!  Well done!          
   Eighth paragraph.  Sweet!  Only three paragraphs to write!  Then I can... take a break... before I write more paragraphs... tomorrow!  What to write about.  I dunno.  Let's see what part of my body to locate myself in.  NOT MY COCK.  THAT'S UNHEALTHY IN A PUBLIC TYPE SETTING.  Oh okay how about my award winning smile.  Alright let's go with that.  What's on everybody's mind.  Huh.  Shouldn't I be asking What's On Everybody's Award Winning Smiles?  Okay.  Everyone gotta smile, though!  EVERYONE SMILE FOR A SECOND.  HUH?  Everyone's thinking What through their Smiles???  I don't like this game!  OK WE DON'T HAVE TO PLAY IT ANYMORE.  What should we play instead.  WHACKAMOLE.  It's the game that trains you for Whacking Moles when they get into your crops.  IT'LL HAPPEN, GOTTA PREPARE NOW WHILE IT'S STILL JUST A GAME.  Whatever.  What carnival game was I good at.  Surely everybody is good at something.  Nope!  I don't think I was good at anything.  And that's continued into my adult life!  Oh.  Well that's good for me I guess.  I'm kind of an EVERYMAN in a way.  I'M NO GOOD.
    Penultimate paragraph!  I really don't like today's entry.  But that's pretty regular now that I think about it!  So there ya go.  I don't like the word, "Cock."  Somebody does.  When I wrote it one of these voices in my head made me use it!  And until someone claims responsibility EVERYBODY Got Detention!  Huh.  One of you speak up!  Don't make your peers suffer!  Do the right thing!  Anyway.  I don't know what to write about for the rest of my time!  I think probably Normal Stuff but New Normal Stuff.  If it can be stuff that I haven't talked about before, that's all the better!  Then again maybe I can REFINE what I've talked about before!  Sounds boring.  Well what's new then.  Birthday is tomorrow!  I WILL CELEBRATE BY DOING SOMETHING NEW.  Turning that age I turn.  Never did that before!  NEVER WILL AGAIN.  Well when I turn 37 I'm actually turning 36 again PLUS ONE.  And when I turn 40 I'll be turning 36 again PLUS FOUR.  And so on.  YEAH EARTH GONNA BE AROUND IN FOUR YEARS.  I'm Optomamapistic!  I guess.  What should I do tonight to set myself up for a good tomorrow.  Live pure true and through.  YOU GOT IT!
   Last paragraph.  What kind of paragraph can be of use to me and/or you?  Let's see.  Something that helps people with problems.  There are lots of people with problems out there and they want ¶'s to help them work out their issues.  THIS can be one of those paragraphs!  Oh okay great.  Do it for Problem People.  Has anyone ever written a 12 step program for something.  I could do that.  I'm a fan of stairs.  Yeah it's been done.  But NOT MY WAY.  Yes, thankfully.  Hmm.  I'm not good at climbing or descending stairs.  Or designing the stairs!  Or putting them together manually!  Anyway.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.  I partially know what that means.  WOW.  Part of me wants to Stay On Stairs but most of me wants to move on.  Let's move on.  Stairs means nothing!  They're simply STAIRS.  Where nothing matters!  The stresses of the first floor and second floor mean nothing On The Stairs!  REALLY?  IS THAT WHAT I THINK ABOUT STAIRS?  I DON'T THINK SO.  KIND OF A BIZARRE PERSPECTIVE.  Anyway.  That's it for today!  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-5:12 P.M.   
          
      

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

It Looks Like Your Subscription Is Running Out Soon

    Hi!  Today is probably gonna be alright.  I'm in a decent mood.  Relatively SANE and everything!  Saw psychiatrist this morning.  She went out of her way to introduce a new topic of how she hopes I don't feel anxious talking to her.  A wasted sentiment.  She's an authority figure!  If I say the wrong thing she pumps me More Full of medicine and/or puts me in a hospital!  How am I ever supposed to feel comfortable in that type of scenario!  Also if you really felt this way coulda brought this, "I want you to feel safe with me," stuff up when we first met five years ago.  Too late for me to feel Alright With You!  I ALREADY DON'T LIKE BEING WITH YOU!  Pretty sure that's permanent at this point!  Ah well That's Life Moving On!  Also every visit she gets one major thing about me wrong.  How's your diabetes going.  NO I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING CLOSE TO THAT.  How are you dealing with your Mom Dying. WHY ARE YOU GASLIGHTING ME MY MOM'S ALIVE!  How's the G.E.D. program coming along.  WHO EXACTLY DO YOU THINK I AM.
   Watched most of The Family Man last night.  With Nicolas Cage.  It's okay!  I think they could be doing a better job selling how his life as A Family Man is better than his life as Rich Bachelor.  I'm only halfway through but so far Yeah I don't really see why his Magic New Life will ultimately be Better than his Old Miser-type Life.  Then again He's married to Tea Leoni and he's friends witg Jeremy Piven.  How many people can say that!  Lemme LTURQ.  Looks like nobody!  Tea Loeni is currently a Bachelorette so it's impossible!  Whatever.  I better take a Gummy Right Now.  Good stuff.  Hey!  These gummies are pretty big.  They're almost a snack in and of themselves.  20 calories.  That's a meal.  How come I've never been suddenly thrust into Alternate Life-to-my-Own Just To See If I'd Like It Better.  Maybe that's what I do every day.  I watch something NEW on TV every day!  That's a New Life Every Day!  Wow.  How's that working out for me.  Well I don't have diabetes.  My parents are both alive.  I graduated A Real High School.  All in all, pretty good!
    Oh No eight paragraphs to go.  It was MISTY today.  It was like it was drizzling extremely lightly OUT OF NOWHERE.  Maybe this is what it's like to live in a cloud!  Either this or Being Used To Constantly Falling.  Gravity.  It'll get ya!  Not sure how to feel about this guy who killed the Healthcare Executive.  I don't understand why some people think he's a hero.  Yeah healthcare companies are guilty of terrible things.  In what way is Murder justified though.  What are you some kind of idiot?  What's your problem?  Get out of here with that bullshit.  Anyway.  If I had a HALL PASS to murder someone who would it be.  Hmm.  Probably CAMERON DIAZ.  Wait no that's still Sex Hall Pass.  Maybe murder too.  Maybe I'm into Fetish Murder.  Sex Fetish Murder.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT.  I COMBINE MURDERING WITH GETTING OFF SEXUALLY WITH WHO I MURDER.  GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.  It's a good thing that I'm bringing some LOVE into it.  You regular murderers are consumed by HATE.  I'm bringing GOOD VIBES into the equation!  Anyway.    
    I dunno!  Anyway.  I don't want to murder Cameron Diaz.  Please don't put me on a list.  Unless it's a list of Real Cool Dudes.  I belong on that list!  Probably in the middle somewhere!  Anyway.  I don't get why people think this Healthcare CEO Murderer is attractive, either!  I DON'T SEE IT.  He's just average!  There's nothing WRONG with him physically I assume.  Is that all you need to be considered attractive these days?  For there to be nothing wrong with you?  Cause if that's the case SURE YEAH you can cross me off the list but IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE THREE OR FOUR THINGS GLARINGLY WRONG WITH ME even I could be considered attractive!  Huh.  Anyway this guy certainly has given us all a lot to think about.  Is murder ok.  I SAY NO.  Is attractiveness relative.  I SAY HUH?  Are Italians inherently evil.  We should prepare ourselves to assume as if they are.  Anyway.  Pretty sure The Devil is Italian.  Where did I get that impression.  Dante's Inferno possibly?  Other works of art or writing?  Seems right.  Al Pacino was the devil once.  He's PRETTY Italian. 
   Whatever.  I came across a porn a week or two ago with two girls, one dressed up as a devil and one dressed up as a girl, and they're competing for your attention, and it was the most thought provoking, self-revealing experience I've had in a long, long time.  WHAT THE HELL.. WHO AM I LOOKING AT... WHAT AM I GONNA DO... THIS IS FASCINATING!  I tried to jerk it to the angel more than 50%.  I DON'T WANNA GO TO HELL.  Coulda been a trick.  Maybe going for the angel IS WHAT WILL LAND ME IN HELL.  Oh.  The only real safe maneuver is stop jerking off completely!  THAT'S NOT FEASIBLE IN TODAY'S 21st CENTURY SOCIETY.  MASTURBATION IS WOVEN INTO THE VERY FABRIC OF THE WORLD WE LIVE IN.  I don't think that's true.  FEELS THAT WAY THOUGH.  So that's good I guess.  Figure out the morally safest way to masturbate moving forward.  Be careful, though-- Devil's got tricks!  Devil didn't become devil By NOT playing tricksies!  Just gotta assume I'm Smart Enough To OutSmart The Devil.  I actually went to high school!  I think I know a thing or two!
   Halfway through the entry.  What did I learn in high school?  Classes.  Rooms.  People.  All the things you wanna absorb into your intelligence.  I GOT IT ALL.  Can I name ONE THING I learnt?  Sure.  Bunson burners.  What about them?  They involve fire.  When you wanna set something on fire you wanna use a bunson burner if you have the time.  I don't think I learnt ANYTHING from high school!  I learnt a lot in high school but even more from the school of hard knocks.  Who came up with that.  "School Of 'Hard Knocks'."  Maybe it was me.  No one else has taken credit for that phrase thus far!  If I'm the first to do it no can really prove I'm lying.  They can point out that it's been in use since before I was born.  I don't think anyone's gonna do that research.  What would the point be!  Just repeat the facts as I state them and move on with your life!  What was I talking about again?  School of Hard Knocks.  Oh Ok.  It's a catchy phrase.  I didn't really come up with it!  But whoever did did an alright job!
    Seventh paragraph.  WHAT WILL I WRITE ABOUT.  I hope it's good stuff.  Maybe there's an angel and devil in my head all the time without them being naked girls.  That's what I see represented on TV all the time.  A guy with an angel and devil on his shoulder.  YEAH.  I've seen it Multiple Times on TV so it must be true!  LOOK, I got lots of stuff in my head, don't even worry about it.  I kind of am worrying about it now.  It's not so bad.  My brain is as normal as the next guy's.  That can't be accurate.  Anyway.  Yeah.  Perhaps I'm MENTALLY WRONG for this world!  I'm not happy about what my brain has to offer!  Not today at least!  I dunno who said those last few sentences.  I WASN'T THINKING THEM.  Some sort of outside thought.  But I'm so desperate for content that I said them out loud anyway.  What am I thinking now.  About the rest of the entry and shit.  Three paragraphs and change!  Not much change.  Really only a few lines.  What to do with the rest of them.  I think I can work on being better at being good at things.  Things that matter. 
   OKAY that's intelligible to some people.  Three paragraphs to go!  This is great.  I have so much I wanna talk about with you.  Do you realize it's December already?  Yeah I've known for about ten days.  What?  Why am I just hearing about this!  I'm always the last to know.  Also, I know it's been December since it's at least November.  I'm just exaggerating for comedic effect.  I don't get what's funny about that.  I guess you had to be there.  I WAS TEHRE.  I DIDN'T FIND IT FUNNY.  Try going there again.  Get back to me.  I WENT THERE ONCE MORE PER YOUR SUGGESTION. OK?  STILL NOTHIN'.  I say keep going there until you find something funny!  OK WHAT IF I NEVER FIND ANYTHING FUNNY?  Then you should e-mail tech support.  Why would I have a Tech Support.  I dunno why does anyone's life work any sort of way?
   Penultimate paragraph!  I don't believe it!  Let's let Michael write a paragraph.  Where is he.  Michael?  MICHAEL?  MICHAEL?  MIKE?  Mikey?  MIKESTER?  MIKE?  I-- OH HERE I AM.  IHow's everyone doing these days?  Good times, huh?  I'm scared.  I don't want to disappear again!  I don't like the nothingness.  Empty Void!  Not a fun place to be.  Then again worse things could happen!  I could be stuck on Earth instead!  Oh.  You wanted an entire paragraph?  Great!  You'll get an entire paragraph!  PARAGRAPH makes me think of Paragraphs which are a key component in anything you're ever going to write.  Now let's do scenes based on paragraps.  I CAN'T DO THAT. I CAN'T THINK OF A SINGLE SCENE.  Good.  You did the right thing by telling me.  Makes sense.  What else is going on.  Was that person even close to being Michael At All?  I think so.  What about this person.  No you're not Michael.  What about you.  No I'm not Michael.  How many people here ARE Michael.  Surprisingly few. 
   LAST PARAGRAPH.  I dunno what you're expecting.  Is there a routine typical paragraph?  I should figure that out.  And then either keep doing it or decide to change it up.  That's life.  WHAT?  THAT'S NOT LIFE AT ALL!  I don't know what life is.  LIFE IS That thing I'm stuck doing forever.  Anyway.  Sounds okay.  Could be worse!  I could be stuck doing life PAST Forever!  Anyway.  OK what am I gonna do with the rest of the night.  I guess The Family Man Act 1.5 Through 3.0 will be alright.  It couldn't HURT.  Sure it can.  Might be terrible for my pysche somehow!  Could be the worse thing in the universe for me!  WHY would watching The Family Man (2000) be the worst thing in the universe for me.  Isn't it just MOST LIKELY that any given thing that happens to you is there to FUCK YOU UP? I go through life assuming that!  Anything that happens to me is just The Worst Thing The Universe Could Dream Up For Me.  YEAH.  THAT'S A JOKE.  That reflects a true feeling.  BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A MENTAL ILLNESS.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-6:02 P.M.

Monday, December 9, 2024

Everyone Act Like No One's Home

    Oh.  Hey.  Time to start a new week.  How was everyone's weekend?!  Mine was fine!  I can't complain.  Watched some TV.  Did some walking.  Bought some new marijuana.  New strain Herb and New Gummies.  Gummies are 2x the amount, half the strength!  I ALREADY WAS SPLITTING THE OLD KIND IN TWO ALREADY.  So this is convenient!   ALSO got regular Leaf Kind.  Seems appropriately strong!  Marijuana is making life better somehow.  LOST TRACK HOW OR WHY!  But I'm sure it's better with than without!  Anyway.  Finished Parks & Recreation and just started Community this morning.  SO FAR I like it consciously but unconsciously I don't like it.  I get pleasure out of it at face level but something about it feels wrong beneath the surface.  If I remember my Community like I think I do, this dichotomy will only grow as the series goes on.  OR CONTINUE at about the same level!  OR REVERSE!  Actually maybe I think it might reverse.  I think around Season III I'll start thinking I'm not liking the show but underneath it all I kinda do!  That's TV for ya.  If you think you like something you actually don't and vice versa!
    Huh.  Got some Christmas Gifts from when my Brother visited extended family yesterday and then came back to Our House!  CHECK from Uncle & Haunt.  CASH from Daughter of Step Aunt.  YES.  CASH IS A DREAM COME TRUE.  I probably won't ever have to use it but it's nice to have in case I need it!  25 dollars.  What could that buy me.  Besides peace of mind?  Three or so beers.  Maybe FOUR.  Maybe five even.  Wow.  That's a lot of beer.  The Mets signed SuperStar to SuperContaract and THAT'S GREAT.  I don't care RIGHT NOW because it means nothing to me TODAY and I have trouble Thinking Ahead!  But I like it when The Mets Do Well and this will help them do that for TEN OR FIFTEEN YEARS.  That's a lot of years.  GOOD.  JUAN SOTO WELCOME TO THE METROPOLITANS.  What does Soto mean in English.  Huh.  Internet says possibly either A FOREST GROVE or A CORPSE.  Juan Soto keeping us guessing for now!  I believe this is the largest contract in sports history.  Whose to say what a Sport is.  If you ever signed a deal for more than 765 million dollars to do your job what's to stop you from arguing that Your line of work Isn't More Or Less Sports Too.  ALL THE WORLD'S A SPORT -- Sportspeare. 
   Ugh.  Eight paragraphs to go!  Plus I got some Chanukah Gelt!  Alright!  Not legal tender but its edible instead!  I like how Chanukah Gelt always comes in that little Netted Scrotum.  Just little pouch made out of netting.  HEY YEAH.  IT DOES.  JEWISH KIDS CAN RELATE TO THAT RELATABLE.  Looks like they found the guy who killed the Healthcare Man.  GOOD.  I'm of the mind that if you're looking for some sort of person, you should find them!  Now what do they do.  I assume arrest him.  Subject him to the legal system.  WHAT, "LEGAL," SYSTEM.  I know we have a system in place but THESE LAWS REALLY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE.  Oh.  Okay.  That's the kind of thing I wish I didn't have to feel!  I can feel however I want.  Hmm.  Think I'm gonna ground how I feel in Reality.  Just for kicks!  That way IT'S RELEVANT.  There's lots of realities.  I get to choose which one I wanna hang out in!  Huh.  I told you, I'm watching COMMUNITY.  That's my reality right now!  Kind of odd for a person's reality, don't ya think?  Hmm so it is.  So far my favorite characters are ALL OF THEM.  The only one I don't like is I CAN'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE They're All Great.
   Fourth paragraph!  Not sure I like the Nerd Indian Guy.  I thought I did.  But he's a complicated character!  What he adds to the community he also takes away!  Makes the show a little bit stranger!  Oh well.  Did I watch any good Films this weekend?  I don't think I did.  I watched something, that's for sure.  But I can't remember!  Seems like a documentary happened at some point.  But I can't recall now.  WHAT THE HELL I just realized people Thumbs Downed two of my old songs on YouTube.  HOW DID THEY EVEN GET THERE.  None of that story makes any lick of sense!  I upload songs to youtube.  That makes sense.  SOMEONE COMING ALONG AND THUMBSDOWNING THEM makes NO sense!  I SWEAR IF I FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE I'M GONNA GO CRAZY ABOUT IT.  I will have vengeance in this life or the next!  I think in Gladiator, Gladiator DID end up having Vengeance IN THAT life.  So his Next Life was ALL FREE to spend with his dead friends and family and whatknot.  I'm sure he has some stuff he had to do.  Just because you're dead doesn't mean the responsibilities dry up.  Wow.  I can't wait to die!  There's some stuff I wanna get to work on and I think it'll be easier once I'm dead.
  Wha.  Six paragraphs to go!  I guess we should try to enjoy this paragraph we have together.  Whatever happens, let's try to have a good time.  Yeah, I know we have every paragraph together.  BUT THIS ONE SHOULD BE GOOD TOO.  Wonderful.  Birthday is on Thursday.  I'm already Of The Mind that I'm Eternally A Birthday Boy.  That's just my Lifestyle!  I GO HARD.  BirthdayBoying It Up ALL THE TIME regardless of the day's proximity to the anniversary of my birthing!  Sometimes it makes me look foolish!  Hey there's that Regular Day'd Person, Not Their Birthday Or Anything, and they're acting like they're Special.  Anyway.  Maybe it was BRAT SUMMER and now it's BIRTHDAY BOY WINTER.  I don't know if I'm ready to declare that!  NOT WINTER YET.  Winter Is Coming though.  Winter is always coming.  Even during winter.  MORE WINTER IS COMING DURING WINTER.  Time to rank the seasons.  4) Winter 3) Summer 2) Spring 1) Fall.  On average.  OK DID YOU ALL GET THAT?  EVERYONE ON BOARD?  No one agrees with that ranking.  I'm pretty sure I don't think I even do. 
    Halfway through the entry!  I think I'm still thinking somewhat Parks And Recreationally.  Maybe that's how I've been thinking MY WHOLE LIFE.  I don't know what that means.  Hmm.  No I don't think it is.  I guess I got psychiatry appointment tomorrow and then therapy appointment on Wednesday.  That should be good.  I get so much out of it!  It keeps my parents happy... Yeah!  Keeps me off the streets.  What do I think Being On The Streets means.  First of all COOL IT with the questions.  Second of all PROSTITUTION I'd say.  I GUESS that satisfies all of the questions I had with myselves.  Got AmazonFresh delivery this evening.  NO I'm not getting anything EXCITING.  I don't know.  Five and a half more paragraphs.  That's what I want for my Today Birthday.  THE REST OF THE PARAGRAPHS TO HAPPEN IN A GOOD WAY.  Why am I getting a Today Birthday.  I Gotta Celebrate SOMEONE Today.  Might as well be myself.  I dunno I can think of lots of people who I'd rather celebrate.  You know like Essential Workers and First Responders and The Artistic Class.  We don't need to celebrate me now that I think about it!  What should we do instead.  I dunno I've been working on a #2 for a while now might be a good time for that.
    THAT'S A LIE.  Oh well.  FOUR paragraphs to go!  SWEET.  I guess.  Shucks!  I didn't make much progress musically over the weekend!  Who cares!  Nobody cared about my old music which was great so why would you appreciate any new music I make even if its wonderful!  I could just release a link to My Old Music and call it new and Call That My New Music Project.  Hmm.  I think people's track record of Not Caring About Those Songs will CARRY OVER into the present, though!  So it doesn't solve anything other than Getting Me Off The Hook For Having To Do Something.  Also, People disliked two of these songs on youtube!  What The HELL kind of world do we live in!  I can understand not caring to listen to it but if you don't like it when you hear it What's Wrong With You.  Living in one of the many realities where these songs are irrelevant.  OH.  GET ON OVER TO ONE OF MY REALITIES.  Cause in my reality these are bangers!  That's not completely accurate.  Hey so what I choose to feel confident about it this month!
    GOTTA WRITE MORE OF EM.  Songs.  I don't know why.  I should just give up.  Anyway.  The most relevant reason is I Came Up With Meaningful Lyrics Lately.  Yeah!  If lyrics are helping me make sense of life then I BETTER COME UP WITH SOME MORE cause I really need to understand things. I dunno.  I think that was just a temporary thing.  Ultimately I'm not gonna be a Lyricist In Life!  PROBABLY NOT.  Maybe I am.  If I am I SHOULD GET TO WORK MORE.  Oh okay interesting context.  Now I don't know what to think.  Anyway.  It's not too late for me to TALK ABOUT SOMETHING today.  Most of the entry is a lost cause!  But we still got 2.5 paragraphs to go.  I guess it's easier to start again tomorrow.  What's EASY about Throwing Away 2.5 Paragraphs.  I dunno.  The throwing it away part.  It sounds like it takes very little effort!  And If I have one cardinal sin it's SLOTH.  Also I have many cardinal sins!  I guess I'm just lucky that way! 
   Great.  I wonder what else is going on in the wide world of stages.  I have a hunch my hearing has decreased over the years.  I bet the level I hear when I play acoustic guitar is lower than it was 15 years ago.  And that's one of my 20,000 problems that's working against me.  Sometimes it seems like all of our lives are just The 20,000 Problems Working Against Us.  Don't even take into account the 12,500 Things Working In Our Favors!  So that's good.  Gotta get some new books.  Dunno which ones.  But I'll figure something out!  Is tehre a book that will help me understand how to live my life?  Probably.  ALL IT TAKES IS ONE.  Maybe the Bible.  I got it around here somewhere.   I'll read that crap.  I like how when they Gave Me A Bible when I was Bar Mitzfah'd they embossed my name in it.  WOW.  NOW I'M IN THE BIBLE.  ME!  What page am I on again.  Probably the inside cover.  One of the acknowledgments.  God Couldn't Have Written This Without Me.  Something like that.
   It's time for the last paragraph.  Wonder how shitty this'll be.  Gummy went okay today.  It was a reasonable high!  I didn't have a great time but it wasn't the gummy's fault!  It was because I wrote a shitty entry and was forced to read it while I was writing it!  AH WELL.  Tomorrow I might try to write a NON-Shitty Entry.  HAH.  Worth a shot, I guess!  Maybe if I approach the keyboard from just the right angle... I dunno.  Don't like my odds but that's what gambling is all about.  Alright.  I'll write some sort of entry that logically follows however today's entry was!  It'll be fine!  Don't worry!  HEY you know what we should do for the last half paragraph?  Let's READ whatever I WRITE.  Yeah Okay!  WAIT NO.  Not everyone is comfortable with making that commitment!  SORRY.  I guess it's a no-go then!  OKAY.  Let's NOT read what I'm gonna write!  OH OKAY.  LET'S GO WITH THAT.  Nobody read this sentence!  OR THE NEXT FEW.  I don't need people reading this.  Check back with me later when I'm Writing Well.  Read That. Okay WHEN WILL THAT BE.  CAN'T SAY AS OF NOW.  We'll see!  Huh.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-4:48 P.M.

                
      

Thursday, December 5, 2024

You Have No Idea What I'm Talking About Do You

    Of course not.  Oh good.  Hey, it's time for the last entry of the week!  Let's take a breath.  We can do this.  ALL OF US.  You there in the back.  Us Up Front.  People I usually ignore to the sides.  It takes a Village!  Why would a village decide to do this.  I can see why AN INDIVIDUAL would write this blog entry.  Not a Community Of People, though!  Maybe I was wrong.  Maybe it only takes A Man, one person, to write a blog entry.  BUT THAT MAN IS NOT ALONE.  I dunno.  What's going on in my life.  I watched some of Bridget Jone's Diary last night.  I don't think I've ever seen this one before!  I think it's pretty good though.  I guess there's a sequel to it, too.  Must be a pretty good movie!  I know pop culture seems to like it.  What about me.  WHAT DID I THINK.  I thought it was kinda funny.  I don't quite get British Humour.  MOVIE.  IT'S A MOVIE.  How does that make my life better.  Hey yeah you're right.  It doesn't!
    OK cool.  NINE paragraphs to go!  New Topic Time.  Gotta scratch the activation sticker off of my new credit card!  Well I did that for a while.  Now it's time to return to the entry.  Okay.  What do you guys wanna talk about?  Let's look at the big board of subjects.  Amphibians, Electronics, Children's Games, Adult's Games, and Puzzles For The Elderly.  Can't wait until I'm Senior Age.  Gonna get me into some puzzles.  They can be Ponder Puzzles right?  Don't need to be physical puzzles you play with in the third dimension.  Michael what's The Third Dimension just so we're all on the same page?  DEPTH.  Width, Length, and DEPTH are the first three dimensions!  Great!  That sounds true!  Michael, you GENIUS!  Elderly can't wait to die.  They want it NOW.  Ah well.  Got a lot of paragraphs left to go.  Hey!  No more sticker!  Scratched it all off!  Except for some stickiness which remains for now.  Probably will dissolve IN DAYS.
   Nothing good has happened yet.  Lots of bad things though.  What's wrong with me.  Eight paragraphs worth of things hopefully.  NO MORE NO LESS.  First of all I cross the street when the light is red too much!  I figure if I look both ways and see no cars coming, there's no harm!  Not a good habit.  At this rate, if I ever DO get a driver's license, one day the light'll be red and I'll be like NAH I THINK I'M GOOD, and I'll DRIVE into a red light.  Walking against the rules leads to DRIVING against the rules!  So Be Smart Out There!  I've been thinking if it's a remote possibility I Make A Real Friend in an upcoming Improv Class.  IS IT?  Yeah maybe.  Just be myself and people will be falling over themselves to be my friend!  I don't want them to WANT to be my friend.  I just want them to DO IT.  I don't see the point in them actively desiring a friendship from me.  I get nothing out of that transaction!  I understand.
    Now if they ACT on their desire to be my friend and MAKE ME THEIR FRIEND, GREAT.  Well done.  We're friends!  I'm cool with that.  Also, these improv class students are SUCH COOL PEOPLE!  This is the best of the best of what society has to offer.  These dumbos.  I wanna be their friends.  Just watch me.  What do Friends DO?  Uhoh.  A Complication.  To fulfill my role as Friend, I will have to Perform Tasks.  IT'S NOT ALL GOOD TIMES BEING FRIENDS.  It's also having to PROVE IT with actions you might not necessarily find fun!  FRIENDSHIP is about showing that you're there for your friend EVEN when you'd rather not be.  Keep in mind I haven't had a friend since 2010.  Might not be the expert!  I have an audience.  That's LIKE having a friend.  IF your friend was a deafmute who also was probably down syndrome.  HEY that's somebody's kind of friend!  I Hope!  Those people must have friends somewhere!  Anyway.  I think at this point in my life I'm past my Adult Tater Tot stage but I'm also not totally into Frozen French Fries.  So now what.
   Fifth paragraph.  I'm obviously assuming the next six paragraphs will suck but it's also possible they're good!  What should I watch tonight.  More of Bridget Jones' Diary.  I like Renee Z.  Maybe at the end of the movie she comes out of the screen and wants to start a blog company with me.  We both write diaries.  What do we know about running a Blog Company.  HANDS ON EXPERIENCE.  Okay.  Moving on!  If someone wanted to dis me in a rap, a reference along the lines of Midget Jones's Diary would certainly be fair play.  I guess.  It's possible I should try to think more in terms of hip hop for my upcoming music project.  Can be Rock Music but more rappy than Zero Percent.  Just in the sense that the hook could be repetitive and whatknot.  Maybe.  That could be one way to approach it.  I guess.  SHIT STILL GOT HALF AN ENTRY LEFT TO GO.  I talked about everything I care about.  Making Friends With The Wonderful People.  WHAT ELSE IS THERE.  Making Lovers out of the Best Of The Friends.  THAT SHOULD HAPPEN TOO YEAH.  If it's a Special Friend.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves!  We don't need to rush things with person who doesn't exist yet!
   Halfway through the entry.  Well hopefully they exist somewhere.  They're just not in my life.  WOW.  Hypothetical person out there for me!  That's one way to live your life.  No, it isn't.  It's NO WAY to live your life.  DON'T DO IT.  I say we're probably gonna be alone forever.  NO matter who or what we meet over the course of the rest of our life.  LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.  WHAT?  "What," might me meet if not a, "Who?"  I dunno.  COMPUTER?  ALIEN?  VELOCIRAPTOR?  Some sorts of Spirits.  We'll come across plenty of non-human entities in our lives!  Great.  Acoustic guitar back to making Twangy non-notes noise lately.  That's life!  I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.  Let's each make a vow to not listen to ANY acoustic guitar music until my acoustic guitar agrees to ACT REGULAR and PLAY NOTES.  Or I could just play the electric guitar.  I'M AFRAID IT'S JUST TOO DARN LOUD.  That's good.  I don't know.  What else is going on.  Getting very close to being done with the week!  You know how much I like that if you're a regular reader.  Or a keen assumer of human behavior.  Or even if you just Read That Sentence!  Everyone Knows Now!  Ugh.  What was I talking about again?  Who cares.  My HEART wasn't necessarily in it.  So whatever it was was frivolous subject matter!  Let's forget it moving forward! 
    Four paragarphs to go.  I assume my Heart will be moderately in this.  What does that mean.  You know.  The thing in my chest cavity.  It will help propel me into positive action.  Oh okay.  I finished the first Twilight.  Ultimately, Not a fan!  I think she should have hooked up with the guy named Mike eight minutes into the movie and rolled the credits!  Would be a fan favorite.  A cult classic.  A cinema s...upreme???  That's not a captivating story for the audience.  There's no vampires or anything!    MAYBE They might talk about there being a vampire.  They don't actually have to have the vampire on screen.  Just allude to the character.  Sometimes the hint of something is even more suggestive to an audience than the real thing!  Anyway.  That movie will never happen.  We had our chance to have an eight minute Twilight without vampires and we decided against it!  TIME TO MOVE ON.  Move on to what.  Twilight II: Nighttime I assume it's called?  I guess I could put that on.  I'm not sure I want to, though.  Vampires and werewolves are too scary right now.  Maybe another week!
    Eighth paragraph.  Wow!  Three paragraphs to go!  Good for me!  Let's see if I talk about anything.  I think playing the Rocksmith game fucked me up.  Where you plug your guitar into the Xbox.  I only spent a few hours on it total, but getting in the groove of playing guitar on a noticeable lag messed with my playing!  Oh.  Maybe it traces back to that.  OR MAYBE I JUST AM A BAD PERSON NOW.  When I was a younger person you could award me the title of GOOD PERSON.  So I was granted TALENT.  Now I'm a SHITTY person.  SO the gods revoked my talent.  Oh.  Maybe that's what happened.  Either way I wonder if it's Existentially My Fault Or Not.  Do I accept responsibility for my lack of talent or place blame everywhere else?  Possible I should just make peace with it.  I DUNNO.  ALL VERY GOOD OPTIONS.  I think talent is probably something I can work on and get back.  That's probably the best option!  Amazing.  No it's not.
    Penultimate paragraph. I SEE.  Two more paragraphs to go.  They will be about something but is it really that important? One thing or the other, does it CHANGE ANYTHING?  Yeah.  It WOULD HAVE.  If I hadn't INTERRUPTED with my negativity.  I was just about to write a Game Changing Paragraph!  BUT NOW I DON'T EVEN WANT TO ANYMORE.  Maybe some other kind of change.  Maybe Life Changing.  I can stand to write a life changing paragraph.  Okay.  How about I just write the sentences I have in my SOUL if not my heart.  Where is soul.  I can't... OH OKAY FOUND IT.  Has it been there the whole time?  Is it gonna STAY THERE the whole time?  Now I gotta remember that's where my soul is.  Okay gonna commit it to memory.  I think soul moves around the body as we go.  That doesn't sound right!  Soul is where it is!  NO.  I CAN TELL THE SOUL IS GONE FROM THAT AREA RIGHT NOW.  In fact that part of my body is STRAIGHT UP EVIL right now!  I wouldn't say EVIL.  Maybe mischievous.  The crest where the beginnings of my right thumb meets right index finger right now is SOULLESS yet NOT EVIL.
    Last paragraph!  EVERYONE GIVE ME FIVE PARAGRAPHS ON WHAT THAT MEANS.  DO IT FOR ME.  Write like you wanted to explain it to an idiot.  I figure between all your essays I'll get a good picture of the truth.  Maybe I should try to figure it out for myself.  OK.  CREATIVE IDEA.  Anyway.  One more paragraph!  Sweet!  Need to DO WELL at Having A Weekend Right Now.  Set myself up for a good week next week.  I really want to do well with the website for some reason.  NOT EVEN FOR ME.  FOR YOU.  ...FOR YOU FOR ME.  So you'd like it so you'd like me for you liking it.  Very generous and considerate of me all in all!  Anyway it doesn't matter.  My birthday is in one week.  I'm turning The Big Thirty Six.  That's right.   THIRTY SIX.  That's the age that I'm turning.  How old ARE YOU turning?  I bet all of you each have lots of unique answers to that.  That's how the world works or something.  I dunno.  I guess age is just a number.  It's also a word.  A concept.  A PREMISE.  A I'm gonna shut up now.  I'll see ya next week!

-6:44 P.M.
       
      
       

        

Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Read The Entry And Get The Hell Out

    Yeah!  Hey, what's up.  Ten paragraphs ahead of us. Seven hundred thousand paragraphs behind us.  Do you remember Anything from Any of them?  Me Neither!  What a journey it's been.  I think I talked about the Mets a few times.  Probably some TV or Movies I saw.  Yeah, I don't know.  Watched the film Dan In Real Life last night.  Was actually Still A Film.  NOT Real Life.  I'm not even fully convinced Steve Carell's real name is Dan!  It was okay I guess.  I didn't like any of the characters.  The plot was pretty thin.  Nothing interesting really happened.  I think I'm gonna have to give it only an eight out of ten.  What did I like about it.  It proposed ROMANCE.  HEY what if LOVE could happen between people.  I dunno.  I don't think it could!  Well clearly it can.  People have feelings of Love across the land TODAY.  Empirically.  OH FOR REAL?  COOL.  I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.  Every film proposes romance.  Always a love interest for someone!  Maybe every film but not every piece of entertainment.  For example MY BLOG insinuates NO love interest for anyone!  Ain't no one getting lucky tonight.
    Sure.  Not a fan of My Brain Today.  You see what words it's producing!  Imagine having to have it hold your attention.  Huh.  Actually maybe my brain isn't the worst.  Maybe it's okay.  Just trying it's best.  MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO SAY THAT.  Hardly unbiased!  This entry is going very slow.  How can we speed this thing up.  Okay.  I hear your complaint and I'm gonna go root around the boiler room in the back of my skull to see if I can find the thing that controls the speed.  FINALLY SOME SERVICE.  I know I'm in trouble whenever I'm talking to myself.  So that's good.  Started watching Starsky & Hutch (2004).  Maybe it's the film we need for this moment.  It's OKAY.  I dunno if it's gonna DO ANYTHING SPECIAL FOR THE WORLD.  Whatever it did for the world IT ALREADY DID 20 years ago.  I think it produced some Cultural Happiness.  There were a few Things.  Ben Stiller saying, "Do It."  Will Ferrell saying something about Dragons Or Something.  I remember having lots of laughs!  And that's why I'm formally nominating Starsky and Hutch 2004 to The Rock 'n Roll Hall Of Fame.
   Third paragraph.  Eight paragraphs to go!  I gotta get into a different mindset.  Current Mindset isn't Consciously Creative.  Maybe it's still conducive to A Good Rest Of Entry.  I'm gonna write Something Good by accident!  NAH I'm just in a bad mood.  I've always interpreted, "Bad Mood," to mean, "PISSY."  Why can't it be different kind of bad moods, though.  ALL SORTS of bad moods you can be in!  Half of all moods are Bad in some sense!  Okay.  In the end I don't care that much about this linguistic discussion.  It hasn't really captivated my imagination!  Okay.  Some moods are BAD but not BAD MOOD BAD.  As of now I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD CARE.  WELL IF I CAN'T GET MYSELF TO CARE ABOUT THIS, THEN I'M NEVER GONNA CARE ABOUT ANYTHING!  Gotta throw myself into it!  NO I DON'T.  WAIT FOR THE NEXT THING TO COME ALONG.  This topic IS legitimately stupid!  I dunno.  If you say you're in a mood without an adjective in front of it I think that means Bad Mood.  Or maybe possibly it's just a Really Fascinating Good Mood To Take Note Of.
   I guess.  Seven paragraphs to go!  I don't see how I could ever accomplish that.  BUT I MUST.  Anyway.  I guess I can go watch Wicked this weekend.  It got good reviews on that place I like: The Internet.  I never saw the original Wizard Of Oz.  Or any other film in the franchise.  Maybe that's why I don't understand people.  Everyone else living life like they're on the Yellow Brick Road.  I CAN'T RELATE.  No one lives life like they're on The Yellow Brick Road.  That Guess of How Other People Think was A SWING AND A MISS.  Well clearly everyone else is Thinking One Way That I'm Not Thinking.  If it's not like They're In The Wizard Of Oz then WHAT IS IT.  Huh.  City Slickers?  Deathwish?  The Good, The Bad, and/or The Ugly?  That guy might not have been traditionally attractive but he was a sensitive person underneath all his bluster. Don't call him ugly you bastards.  What if Ugly was actually Bad and Bad was Ugly because He's So Bad At Being A Good Person IT'S UGLY ON THE INSIDE.  Then that changes just about everything!  I don't see how it changes anything. 
     Okay!  Kristen Stewart's blood is attractive to Vampire but not as attractive to him AS SHE IS AS A PERSON.  Vampire would love to suck her delicious blood but he'd rather be in a relationship with her EVEN MORE.  Go figure.  I don't think I've ever liked vampires.  I'll watch all the standard Vampirefare but there's something about them that just turns me off!  Possible it's just natural Animal Instinct kicking in.  HEY.  YOU MEAN TO DO ME HARM.  I'm not interested IN YOUR STORY NOW.  C'mon.  GET REAL!  Maybe I should be able to Relate to vampires though.  As sexually active lotharios.  But I'M NOT that.  One day I might be!  I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.  Hmm.  Not with that attitude.  Probably not with any attitude!  I dunno.  If I figure out The Right Attitude... what was I talking about again?  Whatever.  It's okay.  I came across my nail clipper a little while ago.  There's a toenail I'm working on that I haven't clipped yet because the angle is awkward but once I get in there I'll let you know.
    Halfway through the entry!  After tomorrow's entry WE GOT A WEEKEND.  I re-watched Requiem For A Dream a week or two ago.  That's a fun movie.  I dunno if Fun is the right word.  I think there's some movies like this that I probably shouldn't have been exposed to in high school.  I LIKED IT okay.  But I could have stood to wait until my 20's or even 30's to see this instead of when I was 14.  DIDN'T NEED IT THEN.  What else.  PULP FICTION.  I dunno.  I get it!  They're criminals!  Crime is fun.  I Like Movies.  I'm not sure if that was really how I processed Pulp Fiction when I was 13 but it FEELS like it might be about right!  What else is going on.  They should make a sequel to Requiem for a Dream and it's called Requiem For a Requiem For A Dream.  Or Requiem².  II Requiem II Furious?  Ah.  The II Fast II Furious movie pun.  Haven't seen that in a few months.  Since the last time I made it!  What was the Dream that most of the movie is a Requiem for?  Do A Lot Of Heroin?  I guess that's KIND OF a dream!  It's SOMEBODY'S dream!  I withdraw my question.
   Four paragraphs to go.  I hope they're solid.  Otherwise why bother.  Might as well just be at some other person's ten paragraph nonsense blog.  WHAT?  NO ONE ELSE does this?  SHUCKS.  I don't know how you got stuck here with me either.  Could be one of dozens of reasons.  The important thing is we're all here together!  FOR A GOOD CAUSE.  TO READ WHAT I WRITE AND BE LIKE, "YEAH... THAT'S OKAY!"  Anyway.  I gotta make the most of the upcoming weekend.  I think the odds are the upcoming weekend is gonna make the most of me!  What does that mean.  Means this upcoming weekend will probably defeat me in battle.  I want to come out on top but in the end Weekend Will Win.  I still don't know what that means.  I can't hold your hand through every single thing I say.  If SOMETIMES you don't understand what I say then THAT'S LIFE.  Gonna have to move on with the entry anyway!  I CAN ACCOMPLISH THE WEEKEND.  Get something out of it.  Put something into it.  Live My Life While It's Happening.  Easy.  Just cross my fingers and hope for the best!  Do I have to KEEP THEM crossed indefinitely?  Yeah!  I CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT FOR THE REST OF MY GOD DAMN LIFE.
   Eighth paragraph!  Makes sense!  How much does Michael currently understand what, "Requiem," means?  Not as much as you do!  Huh.  It's like At The End of something.  A Closing Statement.  Or a Re-Telling.  These are answers that are close to being accurate.  Got some sort of non-food delivery one stop away.  AMAZON or some shit!  Could be in a box.  Or some sort of plastic wrapping.  The requiem to that story is that I'll let you know when it comes.  I don't know what tomorrow's entry will be like.  I really hope it gets better than this.  I can use my Productive Weekend to do better entries NEXT WEEK.  I still don't like My Odds for achieving a productive weekend.  What can we do to MANIFEST GOOD ODDS.  That's not how the universe works.  It doesn't really work at all when you look at it with fresh eyes.  Something wrong with this universe possibly.  OH NOW I'M RAGGING ON THE UNIVERSE.  HEY, THAT'S WHERE ALL MY LIFE HAPPENS.  WHAT DID THE UNIVERSE EVER DO TO YOU.
    Penultimate paragraph!  Alright.  Package came.  Was in some sort of envelope.  Don't think it was plastic.  Just brown paper!  It's all good.  We chill.  Awesome.  NOW TWO PARAGRAPH TO GO.  What movie should I watch tonight.  IF I COULD I would watch Oh I Don't Know THE MANDALORION.  I don't know what that is.  It's a Science Fiction EPIC.  Sounds intriguing.  Tell me more.  *MICHAEL PUTS COTTON BALLS IN HIS EARS AND GOES TO SLEEP*  Anyway.  I really don't think Cotton Balls are gonna stop sound from seizing you.  Oh.  How about noise cancellating Headphones.  Well I'd think that'd help, yeah!  What about 2x cotton balls in one ear, both earphones in the other ear.  Huh.  HOW CLOSE TO THE END ARE WE?  Of the entry?  Still got a paragraph and a half to go.  Okay.  Now it's time to talk about something very important to me.  I ASSUME.  I don't know what I'm gonna say yet but if it comes up naturally presumably some part of me is invested in it somehow to some extent! So that's good.  What IS something very important to me. I had to write a PET PEEVE essay for Comedy Class.  What would be THE POLAR OPPOSITE.  A Pet Appreciation.  I like it when.. erm.. huh... uh-oh... I don't know what I like anymore.  SPENT TOO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT WHAT I HATE THAT I FORGOT WHAT I LIKE.  So what do I like.  OH YOU KNOW THE REGULAR THINGS. 
    Last paragraph.  I started today's entry later than usual.  That gives me less time tonight to really Do What I Wanna Do.  What do I wanna do.  I dunno.  Part of what I wanna do, the first part, was figure out what I wanna do.  Now I might not have time for that part.  Might just have to skip to Doing It.  Before I even know what I'm doing!  Anyway.  I know what I wanna do. I wanna put on a Mediocre Film and WATCH IT.  I guess.  Okay.  That sounds like something I'd do.  One more half paragraph to go!  Gotta work on some music over the course of the upcoming three day weekend.  That's a fair amount of time.  Practically Half A Week.  Just imagine sitting down and doing the work and not getting back up until the work is finished.  I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT.  LITERALLY.  MY BRAIN WON'T ALLOW IT.  Oh.  That sounds bad.  Maybe see if we can work on that a little bit.  I got THREE DAYS to work on it!  That's plenty of time!  Anyway.  That's it for now.  See ya tomorrow.

-6:12 P.M.      
   
  

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Now You're Talking My Language

    Hi!  Woke up early for a psychiatry appointment but turns out it was scheduled for next week!  CARD she gave me last month clearly said TODAY.  I guess I'm just some sort of asshole.  WHO CARES if Michael and Father Who Drove Michael are inconvenienced.  Means NOTHING to the rest of the universe!  Hospital is having a Private Little Laugh about it even!  Huh.  Now that I think about it I HATE PEOPLE.  Ah well what can ya do.  Humanity is what it is.  A collection of assheads and shitbirds and jerkbodies.  Huh.  Signed up for Improv 201!  I wonder what kind of negative humans those people will be.  I want to make an impression of EACH INDIVIDUAL ONE.  On a Shitbird-by-Shitbird basis!  I don't know HOW.  But WHAT IF I DID THAT.  Made an accurate and personalized unique impression of each human being as an individual.  Then it sounds like I'd be some sort of glossary of people.  Awesome!  PEOPLE: THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME.  I dunno if people are the most dangerous game.  Most people, in a GAME type role, aren't gonna be Dangerous to YOU.  You're hunting them so yeah YOU'RE ENDANGERING THEM.  But they generally mean you no harm!  I'd say the most dangerous game is some animal that's actually gonna indiscriminately attack you.  MOST HUMANS WOULDN'T DO THAT.
    Something to keep in mind When You're Hunting Humans and Thinking About What To Call Your Game.  Huh.  Also the most dangerous game is probably Rugby!  I don't really know what rugby is!  Is there a ball?  Are there sticks?  Do the players wear pads or helmets?  I don't really know any of these things!  What are some things I know.  There's so many things I don't know.  So, let's start with WHAT I DO KNOW.  A² + B² = C².  I wonder if Lady In The Water is any good.  I wonder what A² + B² = C² means.  Pythagorean Theorem.  The square of the length and width of a triangle equals the square of the hypotenuse MAYBE?  WOW I WAS SURPRISINGLY RIGHT.  I WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD.  To the untrained eye it may SEEM like I'm Dumb As A Post!  But that's not the entire story!  NOW, I BET I KNOW MORE ABOUT RUGBY THAN I LET ON.  No.  I think they wear pads and helmets.  I think it's kind of like football.  I think it's played in AMERICA.  OH.  That's all I can conjure up?  MAYBE I AM AN IDIOT.  Well, yeah, but it's for a good cause!  WHAT GOOD CAUSE COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE.  CHARITIES.  What charity benefits from Me Acting Like An Idiot.  THEY DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.
    Good.  I watched the first half of Twilight last night for the first time!  Never seen any of these movies!  Also this whole time I thuoght Jacob was the Vampire and Edward was the Werewolf.  Turns out I was wrong.  EITHER WAY I like this movie more or less!  Hey High School Remember That.  All you had to worry about in those days was Sexy Vampires and whatknot.  I don't get His Age.  The dialogue goes how old are you.  Seventeen.  How long have you been Seventeen.  A while.  I SAY LOOK if you've been seventeen for a year NOW YOU'RE EIGHTEEN.  You've been Seventeen for ten years NOW YOU'RE TWENTY SEVEN.  THIS IS HOW AGING WORKS.  Maybe your body doesn't age physically like HUMAN but you're still aging PERSONALLY.  CHECK MINUS MARK against Twilight.  I can relate to Vampire in high school because That's Essentially WHAT I'D BE if I were in High School as a thirty six year old.  But if I were coming at it from the other side of the coin Encountering Vampire I'd be like Eww whose this old man in my biology class that's acting weird around me.  Anyway.  Great.  I lost track of What I Liked About This Movie.  Possible I just liked that it made Me Going Back To Being A Student In High School seem plausible.  IF THIS GUY can be an adult in high school MAYBE I CAN TOO.  It was a simpler time.
    I guess.  I don't need that!  But as an idle entertainment it was fine.  Alright.  Just took half a gummy.  That should be good!  Why would a vampire go to high school.  Because he loves to learn.  Looks like I'll have to take a week off sometime at the end of the month.  To work on music project.  I promised myself to finish project by end of the year!  SURE I'LL DO THAT.  For some reason I'm aiming for Seven Songs.  I feel like that's Been Done now that I say it Out Loud.  Lemme LTURQ.  I dunno.  A couple of internet hits for things titled, "Seven Songs," but nothing too important.  BUT WAIT.  What about Just Music Projects That Are Exactly Seven Songs.  Like I wanted to do.  I DUNNO HOW TO LOOK THAT UP EASILY.  I bet AI would know how to do that!  I just googled it and they spat out half a dozen popular Seven Song Albums!  INTERESTING.  VERY INTERESTING.  It seems I've got some good company and some bad company!  The Allman Bros Band LIVE Album?  Fine Company!  KANYE WEST album?  BAD COMPANY.  Bad Company is a band name?  BAD COMPANY.  That's a good band name.  Never really thought about it.  But now that I think about it?  That's one of the best band names I've ever heard.
    THE ALL MAN Brothers.  Okay.  Jeez.  I wasn't doubting your masculinity!  COOL IT DOWN WE GET IT YOU'RE VERY TRADITIONALLY MALE!  I think that was just their name.  Their last name.  Oh I read it wrong.  I wonder how people Read My Name.  Do they realize it was assigned to me at birth and Means Nothing?  OR do they think It's Me Trying To Defend My Masculinity.  Hmm.  Anyway.  I like that Kristen Stewart!  She's alright!  EVERYONE in the film is okay!  What happens in this film series after they get over the fact that there's vampires and werewolves.  They just go back to Math Exams and Homecoming Dances?  I think they just stick with Watching Monsters Fight Each Other.  They don't get over that fact!  It CONSUMES THEM.  Oh.  Sounds kinda boring.  We'll see I guess.  I just want to watch more regular high school things happen!  THAT'S EXCITING TO ME.  Not SEXUALLY.  JUST REGULARLY.  Who cares about Vampire v. Werewolf.  I wanna see Bella and Edward learn a lesson on The Make-up Of A Cell in the human body.  Maybe I'll even learn something!  I'M HERE WATCHING TV FOR A REASON.  TO LEARN SOMETHING. 
    Remains to be seen how entertaining I find the rest of the movies!  Could be a 3 out of 10!  Could be a 7 out of 10!  Really could be ANY number at all!  Could be a 1 out of 10.  Could be a 6 out of 10.  Could be a 9 out of 10.  I'm going to stop now.  ANYWAY.  I don't like This December.  Kinda feels like Yeah This Year Sucked.  Let's just cut our losses and move on.  I don't have the power to Cancel December.  And besides I think we can salvage December.  Still only the Third!  We still have time to make a Decent December if that's what we decided we wanted to do!  That sounds very promising.  I know I'm capable of doing that if that's what I really set my mind to.  NOW HOW DO I SET MY MIND TO TINGS.  Is there a dial or something on the back of my neck.  Some sort of toggle.  Anyway.  I can't see back there!  I think December is the Twilight of Months.  Maybe not THE Twilightiest.  But probably rank 2nd or 3rd top Twilight-like month.  Well obviously September Through December are The Twilightiest Months.  I'd say (4) September (3) November (2) December (1) October but now that I'm typing it out I Really Just Don't Know.
   OK.  Four Paragraphs To Go.  Sunday Afternoon Improv Class.  I wonder how that works.  I can't even imagine.  None of us were allowed to On The Radio Post 9/11!  Look, THE TERRORISTS HATED OUR FREEDOM.  THUS, WE HAD TO BAN POP SONGS FROM SATELLITE RADIO TO PROVE THEM WRONG.  The Terrorists hate our Freedom?  What, they watched Kamala Rallies and were REALLY OFFENDED by her walk up music?  WHAT ABOUT IT Ticked them off so bad?  THAT'S NOT WHAT IT... IT DOESN'T MEAN... WHY ARE YOU... HEY.  Anyway.  I think I  hate The Terrorists' Freedom OR lack of freedom or Medium Abundance of Freedom.  I'm not sure how much freedom they have! But if they hate MINE then I don't like THEIRS.  I don't have Hate in my heart.  Maybe I do.  DO they cover What's In Human Heart in Twilight Biology.  Solid 25% chance they do!  Alright!  Now I got something to Probably Not look forward to!  Something that might happen in these movies!  A SCIENCE LESSON ON THE HUMAN HEART.
     Cool.  Three more paragraphs to go!  Awesome.  Better be good!  DON'T COUNT ON IT.  They might be okay.  Sure.  I've written good paragraphs before.  You've READ good paragraphs before.  Just get in the mood like it's gonna be, "Oh Here Comes Three Great Paragraphs."  YOU think that, I'LL think that, and we'll meet somewhere in the middle!  Sure.  I DON'T KNOW.  I DON'T WANNA MEET IN THE MIDDLE.  YOU MEET ME WHERE I AM.  It's easier for me.  That's not fair to the one of us who isn't Me.  Oh.  Okay.  I don't know about meeting people in the middle.  I guess it's better than meeting them at one end or the other, though!  Unless it's Your End.  That sounds convenient For You.  A lot of work for me, though.  Traveling Work.  But yeah the point is I don't know what I'm talking about at all.  I don't think we've reached, "Something," Status in Our Conservation.  WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT NOTHING.  Oh.  Huh.  Well that's good.  Accomplished absolutely nothing so far.  Two paragraphs to go, though!  Today is still salvageable!  TODAY CAN BE OKAY. 
    Good.  Good.  Allright moving on.  I think I was just a Beginning-of-Twilight fan.  Not an Entire Series guy.  We'll see, though!  WHY WOULDN'T what happens in the beginning of the movie is a good indicator of how the rest of it goes!  I dunno.  Seems more like MISDIRECTION.  I'm onto Twilight.  Or off of it, depending on your perspective.  Anyway.  Further complicating things is my affinity for Elliott Smith song Twilight.  THAT'S NOT COMPLICATED.  Fine.  Who cares.  Leave me alone.  Sorry.  Anyway.  High school is the Twilight of our life.  After that We Go Dark!  I understand themes I impose on films sometimes.  Makes Sense.  Early college years were pretty Twilighty for me too, though.  So if the werewolf and the vampire ever wanna come back and attend community college I think there's an argument you can make for them to make those movies.  Hey, should I binge watch COMMUNITY?  Maybe.  Maybe I Should.  Oh.  Okay.  I guess.  Great.  Hey.  The paragraph's over.
     LAST PARAGRAPH.  WOW.  I'm eating Hot Dogs tonight!  That means what it means.  I'm getting hot dogs and fries from the deli.  Chicken Pot Pie for tomorrow.  Sweet!  Now I'm looking forward to writing the rest of the entry.  I GET OFF on writing Most Of The Rest Of The Paragraph.  This is WHAT I WAS BUILT FOR.  Great.  I might even think of something new to say!  I think at some point in my life I was like YA KNOW WHAT I'VE REACHED ALL THE CONCLUSIONS I NEED TO REACH.  I'M DONE.  Just gonna stay with the thoughts I've already developed and fortify around them.  I think that's wrong.  I want to THINK NEW THINGS.  Sounds like a plan.  I don't have a plan yet.  Oh.  Well, it's a good idea for a plan, at least!  QUIET.  I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH A PLAN for Thinking New Thoughts.  EVERYBODY SHUT UP FOR A SECOND.  Huh.  Gotta finish the entry now anyway.  GREAT.  I got a good feeling about tomorrow.  Not literally.  But Presumably.  Maybe a 1/8 chance it'll be notably better.  Alright!  I'll see ya then!

-5:14 P.M. 

Monday, December 2, 2024

Hey, Thanks!

    Why not?  I Dunno.  Hey, it's December!  Last month of the year!  I have no idea how I know that.  I can't count up to it on my hands or anything.  I'm not a Base Twelve fingered kind of person.  Some things YOU JUST KNOW.  Now that I think about it, I dunno HOW I know ANY THING.  Television is my best guess.  That would explain why I haven't learned anything in years.  Haven't watched anything good and/or new!  Stuck in Intelligence Stagnation.  Watched Mr. Popper's Penguins last night.  What's the point of that movie.  Because people like Jim Carrey.  Hey can Carrey a film just based on being him.  FALSE.  I watched it! Turns out NOT.  There must be some other points they attempt to hit.  Father/Son sentimentality.  People Who Like Penguins (is that a thing?).  Guy's relationship to his job,  Guy's relationship to his estranged family.  NO.  IT'S JUST NOT A GOOD MOVIE.  I'M SORRY.  They tried their best to turn nothing into something but they FAILED.  I really don't think they tried their best.  It's possible they weren't trying at all.  And if they were trying, maybe they were actively trying to make it poor!  Maybe 20% of the people working on the production were trying to make it good!  AND I RESPECT THOSE OUTLIERS.
    Was Jim Carrey one of the ones trying to make it make it good?  Probably!  He's the heroe of the film!  Anyway.  Didn't work on music nearly enough this weekend.  Just a little bit and it wasn't that great!  But every little bit of life is progress!  Circling the drain more and more to flush me out to the other side!  Music is not unlike The Sewer System.  And my music project is Flushing Myself Down The Toilet.  I'll emerge from the other side all the better for it.  I saw my brother on Thanksgiving Friday!  He's doing okay I think.  Seemed like it.  Was a normal intereaction and everything.  Nothing extraordinary happened!  LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.  Huh.  Little surprised to hear his views on JOKER.  The original Joaquin Phoenix film version.  I'm surprised to be exposed to anyone's views on anything.  Why even bother forming thoughts and opinions when THEY KNOW that They're Not Me: The Ultimate Arbitrator Of Public Thoughts And Opinions.  EVEN I don't bother forming thoughts and opinions.  I altruistically don't want to exclude people who don't agree with me so I just go ahead and Don't Think Anything!
   Looking into BOOKS I can go out and get.  I like reading thoughts and opinions IN BOOK FORM.  Just not IN PEOPLE form.  I'm very weary of ANYTHING In People Form.  Not comfortable with people is the point.  Maybe.  Could be one of the points!  There's Lots Of Points in the world!  So Many Points!  We should wake up each day wondering How Many Points we're gonna get to!  Huh.  Points are a good thing.  NICE POINT.  OH I GET IT.  GOOD POINT.  Who doesn't love That Experience.  I dunno.  Still haven't seen Wicked!  Right now it looks like I'm gonna sign up for another Improv class beginning in January!  Another 201 class.  I've taken 201 TWICE already.  But if I do Improv again, which HEY WHY NOT YOU DON'T MESS WITH A WINNING STRATEGY, I don't feel capable of moving to the next level.  So I'll do 201 again!  New teacher!  New classmates!  New Songs to imagine as Intro Songs and Closing Songs to Imaginary Show Imaginary Troupe would perform.  That's what I do with my spare time.  One day I might have an improve troupe.  We need opening and closing songs.  I AM GOING TO IMAGINE THOSE SONGS.  Now I'm in the mood to improvise!
    I guess.  Looks like Biden is pardoning Biden.  Good.  It's probably the right move for him and his son.  Lotta good that does US though.  THE GREAT UNWASHED.  I'm a fan of the move.  Very Good Father/Son Sentimental Movie.  Sure that's a nice thing he did for his son BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH THE WORLD.  HOW COME BIDEN DIDN'T SOLVE ALL THOSE PROBLEMS?  That's MY ANGLE on this story. It's a HOT STORY.  Biden possibly should have solved some of these other problems!  I thought this was a story on the Biden-Biden Pardon.  IT WAS AT FIRST.  Now it's a story on The World's Problems.  You have to be willing to follow the lead wherever it goes!  Anyway. Was Clark Kent a GOOD journalist.  I never paid attention to any Superman too much.  I got the impression He Was Kind Of Just Okay At It.  Oh well he doesn't wanna call attention to himself.  If he's too good at being a journalist people would take notice of him and that'd blow his cover.  Probably went out of his way to misspell words and make erroneous errors and misatrubite things and whatknot.  Just to look normal!  What else.  We ordered a new Microwave!  It's coming today!  I can't wait to see what New Microwave Entail.  Gotta be at least One Feature that I'm like WHAT THE HUCK?  THEY GOT THAT NOW WITH MICROWAVES?  THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE.  FUCK.  NOW THE REST OF MY LIFE IS POINTLESS.
    I can always look back fondly on all the memories I made based on New Microwave Moments.  I don't have memories.  Maybe This Is The First Memory Of The Rest Of My Life.  I don't wanna start Making Memories.  Have you seen what's going on in the world?  You think I wanna start Remembering Things NOW?  SURE.  BE A BIG BOY AND REMEMBER THINGS.  Oh okay I guess.  Gotta remember to sign up for UCB class before midnight tonight so I can get Thanksgiving Day Discount.  Gotta remember to buy some marijuana this weekend.  Just regular marijuana.  In leaf form. I think I'd have fun smoking it!  Not sure I like my life.  Or myself.  Does Joe Biden's pardon of Hunter absolve him of all negative feelings and thoughts and emotions he may have of whatever crimes he committed?  Not sure how a legal document would accomplish that.  Maybe it does though.  Maybe the gesture means that much to Hunter!  WOW.  WHAT A MOVIE. I haven't followed Hunter Biden cases AT ALL to be honest.  I have no idea the real drama behind it.  I don't know who these people are.
    Halfway through the entry!  I guess one of the things I worked on this weekend was the start to a real shitty song.  Probably should have a comma in there somewhere.  Ah well.  Too late now!  What parts of MR. P's P's did I like.  I liked how in the beginning I thought, "I bet Jim Carrey makes this movie watchable."  I gave it credit before it really started to be good!  I LIKED THAT PART OF THE MOVIE.  Before It Started.  And maybe the first sixty seconds or so.  Those were okay!  YES.  LOOK it wasn't the right time for me to watch MRPP.  One day perhaps when I have a family of my own I'll watch it and be like OH I GET IT NOW.  Yesterday wasn't it, though!  WAIT I JUST SCARED MYSELF.  "Have a family of my own."  WHAT THE HELL.  PEOPLE RELYING ON ME?  I WANNA RUN OUT OF MY HOUSE SCREAMING IN TERROR just at the idea of it.  I do have family.  OH.  Well, okay.  That's not so bad I guess!  Anyway!  Mr.  Popper's Penguins.  THEY DON'T MAKE EM LIKE THEY USED TO.  Wouldn't get anything as imaginative as that TODAY.  AND THAT ALREADY WAS VERY REDUNDANT AND UNIMAGINATIVE.  Why Hollywood Why!
    I don't know!  BUT NOW'S THE TIME TO TURN IT AROUND!   They call Jim Carrey's character, "Popper," in the film.  His co-workers.  His kids.  His estranged wife.  Seems like its kind of forced.  Jim Carrey says, "Yeahsbolutely," in the film.  As an Affirmative.  I don't like that much, either!  I JUST DON'T KNOW.  What's my favorite Jim Carrey role.  WELL are we talking Comedy or Drama.  And/or Comedy-Drama.  I dunno.  I don't wanna talk to myself anymore.  I don't like this conversation.  I'm pulling the Emergency Chord to Stop This Train.  Partly cause I wanna go use the bathroom and this seems like an opportune time to get up and go.  WELL THERE I GO AGAIN RUINING THE TRAIN RIDE FOR EVERYONE.  I used the toilet though.  So it was for a good cause!  We all should use the toilet more often, I think!  Sometimes you forget.  Gotta pee!  PISS.  JUICE.  Sorry folks gotta juice I'll be right back.  See if that catches on.  My hope is No.  Why.  It could be so much fun.  Nothing will ever be fun again as far as I can tell.  What if I enjoy the next improv class I take?  Let's not get ahead of ourselves!  I'm doing it because I have to do something!  HAVING FUN WITH IT would possibly be Asking Too Much!
   Three paragraphs to go!  I guess.  What should I watch when I'm done with Parks & Recreation?  Here's what I'm looking for in a show-- (1) ATTRACTIVE CAST (2) GOOD ETHICS (3) EASY ACCESS (4) RELATABLE (5) UP FOR ANYTHING AND DOWN TO CLOWN.  Anyway.  I'm not sure what show that describes.  PYSCH.  I don't know what that is.  TV SHOW ABOUT DR.'s  Oh okay great.  Maybe I should watch Pysch.  It's a Drama but without drama Life Would Be Funny!  And I don't get it.  That was a Dramatic Joke.  There's an Early Christmas at my Uncle's this year this weekend.  I don't think I'm gonna go!  Just don't feel like it.  Anyway.  There's still a long time until Real Christmas.  I can't remember such a great distance.  I felt like writing in lyric for some reason.  TIS THE SEASON TIS THE SEASON.  Yeah I guess.  Not sure who that helps.  It's there for any and all bodies.  Oh great.  Chanukah's coming up later this month.  Meet me at the deli, we'll do lunch.  WHY.  When you have a website you can write the kind of lyrics you want.  This isn't how I anticipated my lyricisms one day being absorbed.  But now that I'm here I guess it makes sense.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Chanukah is coming late this year, meet me at the bar, let's have a beer.  I'M NOT VERY IMAGINATIVE TODAY.  It's not so bad.  It's like jazz.  You have to listen to the lyrics I'm NOT writing!  GREAT.  I've been writing C-/C lyrics the last couple of weeks privately.  Trending in the positive direction I think!  Not sure who relates to this crap.  We'll see!  We'll see if it turns into anything at all!  We don't know one way or the other yet!  My guess is Nothing Turns Into Anything!  LIKE A MOTH TURNS INTO A BUTTERFLY.  That's how I feel.  Anyway gotta write 1.5 more paragraphs.  Microwave is still yet to arrive.  This new microwave isn't dirty yet.  I believe that's the main reason we're buying a new one!  Old one was filthy.  What's the point of anything.  Now I got a new microwave I can show off to guests.  Michael is proud of his new microwave.  Yeah.  I assume.  I haven't gotten it yet!  But if it works out like I think it will... then, Yeah? 
    I don't even know if this one's got Rotation!  I assumed all modern microwaves have rotating plate, but I don't know that!  Doesn't seem completely necessary now that I think about it.  I don't think my food is getting any hotter while in the back of the microwave compared to the time it spends in the front.  It seems like it'd be uniform all the way around!  Ah, well.  That's life.  What.  Being Microwaved?  YEAH.  Huh.  That doesn't sound good.  What if we requested a Microwaving.  I DON'T THINK WE DID.  Anyway.  What else.  Only half a paragraph left!  I can't even comprehend how light a workload that is.  It's practically Just a Few Sentences.  That requires no thought when you think about it!  So that's good.  Gotta make an appointment with Optometrist to get new contact lenses.  I HAVE TO DO IT.  IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME AND MY FUTURE LIFE.  They're New Contact Lenses but I won't SEE A BRAND NEW STYLE WAY.  I'll see The Same Ol' Normal Vision.  Interesting.  Tell me More about EyeSight.  That's pretty much everything I know.  Anyway.  That's it!  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-4:25 P.M. 

  
  

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