Thursday, March 6, 2025

Sometimes Titles Aren't That Entertaining

    No way.  Great.  Ten Paragraph Time!  What is THE FIRST THING I will say today to frame the entire entry.  Hmm.  Some clothes Hangers in my room say Jiffy Jeff's Cleaners on them.  I guess that's the name of one of the laundromats we've gone to.  I OFTEN misread it as either Jazzy Jeff's or Jizzy Jeff's.  HMM I think I'll look over there now and see what I misread it as This Time Around.  Jiffy Jeff.  DANGIT!  I was in my head about it so of course I'm gonna read it The Straight Up Accurate Way!  I hope this Jeff guy isn't getting peanut butter on all my clothes.  Right!  RIGHT?  Maybe that's the name because he accomplishes Laundering IN A JIFFY.  He does is Real Fast.  Oh Okay I Get It.  It's either That Explanation or Absolutely No Explanation probably!  OR There's a guy who was known as Jiffy Jeff PRE-going into the dry cleaning business!  For some completely unrelated reason!  AND he decided to stick with that moniker for whatever reason!  Huh.  Anyway.  I haven't been hanging clothes in roughly 4-6 months.  I haven't done my own laundry in that same amount of time.  Just re-using dirty clothes that's in a pile on my floor!  IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD.
   Well step one is admitting I have a problem.  Great.  What a productive overshare!  Now I have motivation to move on from it!  OK.  I started watching the Wu-Tang Clan series on Hulu.  It's pretty good!  I don't listen to their music that often but I like their music.  And I would enjoy listening to it if I was listening to it.  And I DIG their entire aesthetic and deal and whatknot.  I DO NOT like the comedy careers of Method Man and possibly others.  ACTING, Fine.  He was good in The Wire and possibly others.  COMEDY ACTING?  I dunno!  I have a hard time Laughing With Musicians in general!  I'd also have a hard time being entertained musically by Good Comedic Actors!  THAT'S NOT SO CONTROVERSIAL.  What is controversial these days.  AL GREEN.  HOW DARE.  HE HAD A CANE AND USED IT FOR DISRESPECTFUL PURPOSES.  Anyway.  I'm glad someone stood up to Trump but we need a younger hero.  I need someone MY AGE to shake their cane at Trump!  Someone who'll definitely still be around next year!  Huh.  Also BEHIND THE SCENES I'll laugh at musicians and enjoy comedians doing music.  SURE.  Watch em expand their horizons privately.  But I don't wanna see it ON TV!  Feels wrong.
   I wish my last name was a color.  Those people are lucky.  Green.  Brown.  Black.  People can INSTANTLY RELATE to them because their names are EASY to understand THEMATICALLY.  My last name is so stupid I've had it for 36 years and I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around what it means!  To be fair I haven't been trying very hard.  Maybe if I started trying to crack that code I could do it within a single afternoon.  I DUNNO!  Anyway.  What else is going on.  Hmm.  I was thinking about fucking with the Wu-Tang Clan but then I heard this song and now I don't know if it's the right move anymore.  Has Anyone Ever Thought That Exact Thought.  Good news THERE'S A CHICK FIL-A at Penn Station now!  I had that last week.  It reminds me of childhood.  Well, 18yearsolditude.  Freshman Year of NYU.  Getting it at their dining hall.  That Bullshit. MMM.  I love eating memories.  I watched Little Nicky last night.  The Adam Sandler movie where he plays a Half Devil Half Angel.  That reminds me of Childhood too!  Also it's a really prophetic movie!  In it Devils from Hell possess powerful people on Earth to trick everyone into thinking Sinning Is Fine And Natural so everyone becomes complete degenerates so they will eventually go to Hell And/Or to create a Hell ON Earth and YEP THAT'S HOW OUR WORLD TURNT OUT.  I guess writer/director Steven Brill was tuned into something most of us weren't. Go figure. 
    OR maybe everyone saw this coming 25 years ahead and nobody thought to warn US.  And by US I mean me and my 11 year old cohorts.  I guess the clues were there. To be fair I DID see this movie over and over again!  IT'S ON ME if I didn't pick up on the underlying message I suppose!  MY OWN DAMN FAULT FOR NOT SEEING THE UNDERLYING SOCIAL COMMENTARY as an eleven year old.  I guess they could have seen the social commentary the movie was conveying at the time as being Funny And Relevant but low stakes and they never would have guessed how heightened it would be watching it in 2025.  OR they're prophetic and whatknot!  Either way it starts off RIGHT with Jon Lovitz as a pervert LookyLoo-ing a woman from a tree into her bedroom.  FROM SCENE ONE it's captured my attention!  Anyway.  He goes to Hell because of it when he falls out of the tree he's perched in.  Do we really go to Hell for Looking AT Women.  I HOPE NOT.  I've never looked at LIVE women without their permission.  But I've looked at PORN.  That's halfway there!  I DON'T LIKE THIS DEVELOPMENT.  I'd say 90% of the porn I consumed is The Woman Consents to the porn.  But I'd say Off The Top Of My Head 10% of the porn is Woman Probably Never Got The Chance To Consent/Actively Didn't Consent!  ALRIGHT WELL I'LL SEE YA IN HELL.
    COOL.  Once we're in Hell at least we know THERE'S NO WAY THINGS CAN GET ANY WORSE.  We're already in Hell.  Pressure's off now!  Nothing to worry about anymore!  That's an interesting way to look at it.  We could probably figure out how to sneak into Heaven.  There must be some way!  Get enough HeavenBucks.  BUY our way in!  Sure I know how Afterlife works.  Maybe compliment God a lot.  Flatter him.  Get on his good side.  TRICKERY.  I may never deserve to end up in Heaven but I might convince God to place me there nonetheless.  Why am I operating under the assumption that there's a Judeo-Christian God and Heaven/Hell set-up.  I DUNNO.  SOCIAL PROGRAMMING.  Hmm.  Anyway.  I'll consider all sorts of Overarching Universetype Set-ups.  You got a better idea?  I'LL HEAR YA OUT.  Lemme know how you think things work!  WHY NOT.  I guess.  Enough with, "Judeo," How about some JIU-JITSU.  I want to learn some KARATE OFFSHOOT to improve my physical strength and mental health.  Maybe then they'll let me into Paradise.  So I can teach THEM Karate Rip-Off.  Suddenly I'm useful for some reason.  HMM apparently Heaven is a meritocracy PASS IT ON.
   Sixth paragraph.  The only merit they care about in Heaven is GOOD PERSON.  Probably.  I dunno.  I'm gonna be honest-- I don't know about how things outside my very limited existence work!  Including How To Get Into Heaven!  HMM.  OKAY.  LET'S FOCUS IN ON MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THEN.  See what's going on TEHRE.  So I can Talk About Things I Know!  Okay.  What Does Michael Know.  Pizza Pie.  Glass Of Water.  Not much when it comes down to it!  It's POSSIBLE I used to eat entire pizza pie at a time sometimes Second Half Sophomore year in college.  I HAD THE BEST EPISODES.  Drinking shit ton of whiskey and smoking weed.  Listening to podcasts/radio.  Playing guitar and writing songs.  Eating Lots Of Pizza.  Watching TV.  What The Fuck.  That's Heaven!  PLUS IT REALLY HAPPENED.  It happened to me!  Just walking across the dorm suite.  Not stuck in one spot.  STALKING TEH SUITE in a drunk stupor. My part of the dorm to the common area to the kitchen.  Going back and forth KINETICALLY was part of the fun.  Also, yeah, All By Myself.  No friends.  Dormmmate was never around.  I did that semester Alone practically 100%.  IT WAS THE BEST.  I had TV and podcasts/radio.  That's people to some extent.  MORE OF AN EXTENT than I realized at the time!  Anyway.  One day I can return to that lifestyle.  I don't need to drink THAT MUCH Whiskey or eat THAT MUCH pizza.  I dunno.  Maybe that's just for children.  Who knows.
   Seventh paragraph.  IS IT HEAVEN or IS IT HELL.  Let's think about it.  Theology.  I guess I'd probably enjoy it if I got to do it again.  But it's not the MORAL way to live.  I don't know if One Of My Top Eight JESUS would approve.  I ALSO WOULD LOOK AT WIKIPEDIA A LOT.  When I was drinking that semester.  Just browse fucking wikipedia.  IT'S FUN.  LEARN THINGS.  I forget everything I learnt.  BUT I LEARNT THEM FOR A FEW MONTHS NONETHELESS.  Anyway.  I dunno.  I like philosophy.  That was one of my favorite topics to browse.  Don't remember learning anything more than I'd learn in the first two sessions of an Intro To Philosophy Class!  But I learnt it FOR FREE!  So that's good!  Kierkegaard.  That guy.  So much philosophy out of just one person.  ANYWAY.  Just liked the Independence of the entire situation.  Who would I say is my favorite Philosopher?  I dunno probably me.  I can really relate to everything I come up with!  Except for whatever the current thing is that I'm Coming Up With.  I usually can't relate to Whatever The Thing I'm Currently Talking About Is.  WHATEVER THAT MAY BE.  Huh.  Anyway.  You get the idea. 
   Three paragraphs to go!  Ok.  I dunno.  Michael is coming up with a great topic for this paragraph.  It won't be Little Nicky.  It won't be Fun College Times.  It won't be Philosophy.  Ok.  Michael is going to talk about What He Will Do This Weekend.  Michael gonna work on some music!  Gonna come at it Randomly.  Hope it comes out decently through no real effort of my own!  I will be putting in a lot of Effort.  Just sit there and make weird incomplete songs.  That takes a lot!  Okay.  What if I wanted to try to start writing full songs.  I guess that's one way to go.  I dunno.  Anyway.  I can't imagine a world where Michael Writes A Full Song.  I MEAN, I HAVE IN THE PAST.  But doing it again just doesn't sound right.  I guess it's not completely impossible.  In fact it's completely probable.  But it feels wrong.  Just write some dumb songs you idiot.  How hard is that.  WELL that's the interesting counterpoint that makes a lot of sense!  JUST DO IT.  That's a good slogan.  NOW I THINK I'M JUST GONNA GO AROUND DOING THINGS.  Nike said it was cool!   
   I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT NIKE.  Who does.  Michael Jordan.  OK.  WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT MICHAEL JORDAN.  Nike.  Well then I guess I'm glad they found each other!  I guess this website is going okay.  You guys still reading it.  You may or may not be experiencing it one way or another.  But you Definitely Are Still Reading It.  What else is Definitely Still Going On.  WEEKEND IS STILL ON.  Gonna happen.  I will Do My Thang All Over It.  What Thang.  If you have to ask you obviously don't know.  Great.  I don't know what else to talk about.  What should my music be about. The lyrics should reference the music.  And/or vice versa.  That's what I've been operating under.  What operating system is my computer operating under.  WINDOWS SOMETHIN'.  Nice job.  Computer works and everything.  All the apps.  Any of the ones I use.  I used to like hitting RANDOM PAGE on Wikipedia.  Learning that way.  JUST LET THE ALGORITHM TAKE IT'S COURSE.  I wouldn't do that today though.  My tastes have changed! Nowadays I want to be as far away from Al Gore Rhythms as possible!  WHY.  HE WAS GREAT AT PROVIDING SOLID BASELINES FOR BEATS.
   I DON'T KNOW if I will be back here next week.  I'll be doing something productive one way or another, I guess.  IF I write a real song instead of just fake songs I'll share it here for sure.  You'll hear it First Things First.  Possibly.  Maybe.  I Dunno.  IT'D BE NICE to share it with you!  What do you care.  You rely on my for Dumb Website for entertainment NOT Dumb Music.  What crap do you give about my music. WELL FIRST OF ALL FUCK OFF.  Second of all YOU'LL COME AROUND.  Third of all MY MUSIC IS SO TERRIBLE YOU CAN'T NOT WANT TO HEAR IT.  I appreciate you don't give a shit.  WE'RE SIMPATICO.  I guess.  I don't know if I should see a movie this weekend!  I probably CAN.  But I probably WON'T.  Life.  At.  WORK.  I'll make my own movie.  Out of music!  Good idea.  I like music!  You could argue I like music a lot!  YET when we do Improv Games where someone jumps in the middle of a circle and sings a song for us all to sing along to, I Don't Know 5/6ths Of The Songs AT ALL.  Hmm.  That doesn't mean I don't know 5/6ths of all songs.  It just means I don't know These TYPE Of Songs!  GENRE.  Format.  Anyway.  I'll see ya later.

-6:02 P.M.        

Wednesday, March 5, 2025

I'm Hearing Good Things About This Entry

    No I'm not.  I'm not hearing complete thoughts at all!  That's the way I like it.  I only hear Halfway or Quarterway Messages.  Nothing really that conveys any sort of complete idea!  GREAT.  I woke up early at 8 AM.  Saw therapist.  THEY'RE A-PISSED that I'm still not cured!  I don't like this character I'm doing.  Dating back to The Title.  I wanna start over.  Okay.  Fresh Start.  Let's Go.  We each have a Fresh Start each and every day at 3:30 AM.  Time To Make The Donuts.  That's how life works!  I'm imagining Bob Hoskins as the guy in the Dunkin Donuts Time To Make The Donuts commercial.  Is that right or wrong.  It probably wasn't him but was a Bob Hoskins type.  This is good stuff.  I'M KEEPING THE SHOW MOVING FORWARD.  Also I'm imagining it as taking place in Chicago.  I don't know why.  I just bet they like donuts in Chicago.  Also, Chicago is a big city for the advertising industry.  So they could have produced the commercial there.  And if not IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.  Anyway.  How come no one talks about Chicago that much compared to other big cities.  Maybe it was chic long ago but these days we don't hear much about it!   YEAH.
    Is there any puns on drivers license or license plates in that state where it can say, "License to Ill," like the Beastie Boy album?  Gotta come CLOSE to it at some point somewhere!  Anyway.  They made up that title for their album themselves.  You can't GIVE YOURSELF a License To Ill.  ON WHOSE AUTHORITY!  Their own?  That makes no sense!  That doesn't check out!  Anyway.  Still trying to figure out what to call myself for my current round of music.  The crap I've been doing.  Currently I just have it listed as, "!!!"  I don't know if I'm stuck with that or what.  I meant it to be a placeholder.  Anyway.  Is today Wednesday?  Yeah!  It is!  More than halfway done with the workweek!  Looks like I'm really making a lot of progress with my and/or your life.  Glazed donuts.  Does comedian and actor Jon Glaser go into Krispy Kreme and ask for Glased Donuts for free and be like LEGALLY THEY TECHNICALLY BELONG TO ME.  LANGUAGEWISE.  IF YOU WANT TO GO BY HOW WORDS WORK.  I dunno how accurate any of that is!  I'm gonna write more things like that!  SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT FOR A CHANGE.
      Anyway.  I guess.  There's a literal evil president per my understanding in a Current Popular Film in Theaters but he can't be more evil than the evil president going on right now, right?  Let's talk about it!  I dunno how evil the president is In The Film.  Might only be Halfway Evil.  He's Harrison Ford!  I imagine Harrison Ford being the evil president in a super hero film and I imagine that role being halfway evil!  SEEMS to be how it'd shake out.  Anyway.  At some point we probably should be getting a super hero film where the theme is that it acknowledges we don't have super heroes in real life.  How do we square our super hero film worship with THEM NOT BEING RELEVANT TO OUR ACTUAL REAL LIFE AT ALL.  Hmm.  Really makes ya think!  We have OKAY HEROES in real life.  A lot of them are being fired or marginalized the last month or so!  Cancer researchers.  Civil Rights attorneys.  Four Star Generals who happen to be black or women.  Anyway.  I don't have a point there!  Maybe the point is Movies Don't Have Good Points Either!
     Great.  The point of the movie is This captain America BLACK.  This hulk RED.  SEE IT'S DIFFERENT THIS TIME.  Oh okay.  Really makes ya think!  The good news is DEMOCRATS GOT PING PONG PADDLES.  This tells me they're prepared for the fight to come.  IF the fight to come is Ping Pong.  It might be a very small part of the fight to come.  Why don't they just start fighting NOW.  No time like the present.  Hmm.  Or if they really wanna play ping pong just quit congress and GET GOOD AT PING PONG.  If that's what you wanna do!  DO IT.  I DON'T CARE HOW YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE.  BUT DON'T TREAD THE MIDDLE.  COMMIT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER!  PICK A SIDE.  FIGHT FOR OUR COUNTRY... OR PLAY PING PONG!  But right now you're in the spot of someone who could be using that position to actually fight for their constituents.  So either do the job or quit you colossus waste of space.  And don't just be preformative.  It's not a show.  Don't do it to hope to win a slight majority in 2026.  It's a DOGFIGHT.  EVERY DAY.  Make your voice heard TODAY.  Advance our cause TODAY.
    Or continue doing what you're doing and keep losing.  Fine!  At some point we're bound to get a new wave of Democrats who like to win and are willing to fight for it.  AT SOME POINT a generation of Democrats are bound to figure it out.  I dunno how long we'll have to wait!  Anyway.  LOOK, I get the people I'm criticizing know how politics works 1000% more than I do.  In a lot of ways I'm speaking out of my ass.  I don't know the INS AND OUTS.  I don't know how THE SAUSAGE IS MADE.  I don't know WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.  But I do know LEARNED HELPLESSNESS when I see it and I know The Democrats are full of shit and weak as fuck and simply growing a spine will fix a lot of their problems.  Trust the base.  Engage the base.  Activate the base.  Turn out the base.  IT'S NOT JUST SEX TALK WHERE THE BASE MEANS THE ANUS.  IT'S GOOD POLITICS LESSON, TOO.  Republicans don't seem to have a problem with going after their base.  Democrats fetishize courting the middle, though!  Not even the middle!  The Democrats love trying to get the votes of THE OTHER SIDE.  I don't get it!
    Anyway.  Halfway through the entry.  What else is up.  POLITICS HUH.  We still kind of live in a Flawed Democracy as far as I can tell!  It's there if we want it!  OKAY GREAT.  I dunno.  Ping Pong eh.  How come they called Electronic Ping Pong just Pong.  When it first came out as one of the first video games.  They dropped the, "Ping!"  What were they trying to accomplish there!  That movie Pixels (2015) is kind of strangely subversive now that I think about it.  I don't know HOW or WHY.  That Adam Sandler/Kevin James/Peter Dinklage Film where we're attacked by aliens through Real Life Manifestations Of Video Games or something.  It's extremely WEIRD.  Looking back at it it's a VERY STRANGE FILM.  Weird that they made it!  One part I like is how Kevin James is just the president for some reason.  NO ONE KNOWS WHY.  Well I guess SOMEONE gotta be president.  Why not The Character Kevin James is playing.  But he was just some Random Kid in the opening sequence.  Him becoming president seems like a strange choice for America!  Anyway.  I dunno.
   Four paragraphs to go.  I dunno why.  Ten paragraphs per entry.  This is the seventh.  TAHT WHY.  Oh okay great.  Let's see.  Oh Boy I'm up to a good Simpsons episode in my bingeviewing.  The Tomacco episode!  One of my favorites!  So I got that going for me is the point.  I'm enjoying it just thinking about it!  I'm not even thinking about any specific jokes!  I'm thinking about the entire thing CONDENSED into a SINGLE DOT.  So that it means NOTHING REALLY TANGIBLE.  BUT I STILL LIKE IT.  AS A MEANINGLESS POINT.  Still brings a smile to my face.  That's how much I get out of this episode!  Guess I'm picturing the bright colors and the voice of Dan Castellaneta.  I'm picturing SOMETHING even within that Single Dot.  Fair enough.  ALSO I'm picturing remembering sharing my enjoyment of this episode with a childhood friend.  I recall holding this episode specifically in high regard with my pre-teen chum.  So that's good.  It's a FUNNY SHOW.  I CAN GET CHINESE FOOD FOR DINNER TONIGHT.  THERE'S A SPECIAL ON GRUBHUB AND EVERYTHING.
    Three paragraphs to go.  CALL UP MY FRIEND PING PONG to order the Chinese Food.  Not sure who the target audience is for that joke.  The target audience for that NEVER EXISTED IN SPACE NOR TIME.  Nowhere in space.  Nowhere in time.  Just never was!  Anyway.  I can't call up my friend to get it.  I have to use GrubHub.  That's the entire point of the special!  I guess.  What else is going on.  Apparently some Democrats wore PINK for last night's State Of The Union.  Finally we can have some breathing room for a second.  Our lives just got easier for a bit.  I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.  If it were me giving STATE OF UNION I think I'd start off The state of the union is I'm Gonna Be Honest Not So Great.  I'm happy about personal life but overall I dunno.  Hmm.  My personal life MUST be going great.  I'm giving the state of the union!  That means either I'm the president OR I'm doing so great in life they changed the rules of SOTU to let me give it for some reason!  That sounds more like my professional life.  Not personal life.  WELL there's some overlap betwixt the two I guess.  Wouldn't there be?
    Ninth paragraph!  Got an Amazon Fresh delivery on its way.  Might come here around the time I'm finishing this entry!  WE'LL SEE what happens first.   CHINESE FOOD.  INTERESTING.  I think China might be The Country of the 21st century now that Trump is driving America into a ditch.  Maybe that's why Democrats are getting into ping pong.  China loves Ping Pong based on my knowledge.  IF WE WANT TO COMPETE WITH CHINA, we will have to do it ON THE PING PONG TABLES.  So anyway the point is I FORGET.  But I wanna get into bed with China or something!  I THINK THEY'RE THE FUTURE.  America is possibly going into the toilet.  China is where the action is!  China probably is pretty authoritarian and dictatorial and unpleasant too.  I wouldn't like living under their government either.  PROBABLY.  I'D HAVE TO LOOK INTO THAT.  HMM.  Anyway.  I still can get Chinese FOOD for tonight.  It's American Food at heart.  Being cooked here!  From food grown and manufactured here!  So that's good.  UGH.  Maybe I should re-watch Forrest Gump tonight.  That asshole.  Re-see what he did in his fucked up existence.  He played Ping Pong.  That's why I thought about it!  Anyway. 
   Last paragraph.  It's good!  Only one more paragraph to go!  That makes people happy!  Because then they can move on with their lives!  SEE THEIR LOVED ONES.  Tell them how much they missed their company!  I don't have any loved ones.  I got parents and a brother.  I love them.  But they're not My Loved Ones.  I don't think so.  Could be wrong!  Anyway.  Some of the delivery I got coming to me is six bottles of 2 liters of soda.  That's a lot to put away!  What am I, Superman?  No!  I'm just a regular guy!  Oh well.  Does Superman ever forget that he's Superman and react to things like What am I Superman?  WAIT A SECOND, YES!  Maybe!  Okay.  I'm the next stop for this Amazon delivery.  And they are about four, five minutes away.  I guess I'll step away from the website in about one, two minutes!  BEFORE finishing it.  I guess.  Even though only a few more sentences are necessary!  HMM.  GOOD.  I'LL WRITE A BONUS PARAGRAPH OR SOMETHING AFTERWARDS.  FOR FUN.  I DON'T KNOW.  Anyway.  Just accepted teh delivery.  Put some stuff away.  Mostly just unloaded stuff for my Dad to put away.

    BONUS PARAGRAPH.  Great.  Forrest Gump.  That's a feel good film of all time.  WE AS AMERICANS ARE ALL DUMB so it's nice to have a protagonist to relate to.  Yeah!  I'm considering looking to that tonight to watch if I can conveniently!  It reminds me of GOOD TIMES THAT I NEVER ACTUALLY LIVED THROUGH.  THE VIETNAM WAR, ETC.  His friend likes shrimp and ya know what I like shrimp!  I like how Forrest Gump made ONE FRIEND who liked shrimp and was like ya know what that sounds right I'm gonna devote my entire life to that.  He's a real one!  I dunno how much of his LIFE he devoted to shrimp.  He centered his business empire around it.  But overall his life jutted out in other directions.  Running cross country.  Inspiring Elvis.  He did lots of stuff.  He invested in Apple or something, right?  GOOD.  DUMMY WINS AT THE STOCK MARKET.  Great.  One more entry tomorrow.  THEN possibly I take next week off for music!  OR I continue writing website!  I DUNNO what to do!  LIFE IS CONFUSING.  The most confusing part of life is when you try to Unconfuse it.  Untangle that there confusion.  IT CAN BE DONE but it's a challenge.  Great!  Need really dexterous fingers.  Anyway.  See ya tomrorow.

-5:35 P.M.                              
    

Tuesday, March 4, 2025

Huh, The Entry Nobody Asked For Served No Purpose!

    Hey, friends!  Another entry, coming up!  What strange comment did they write on my coffee today at Starbucks. "You can do all things."  I dunno about ALL things!  I can do Many Things.  Not very well.  But I can give Many Things A SHOT.  Anyway.  What have I accomplished since we last spoke.  Nothing particularly productive.  I spent 5 minutes cleaning up my room.  CLEANING HOUSE.  EVERYTHING MUST GO.  By which I mean a bunch of gum wrappers and old metrocards and appointment cards.  Well either way I also Cut My Pants.  They were ripped severely at the right leg at the end and I used scissors to cut off a huge strand!  Pants are back!  I guess.  I think that's it!  I caught up on Television.  That's our real job in life.  Well, it's in the top dozen of our Real Jobs.  We have to watch the same television as our peers.  We don't necessarily HAVE to do it, but if we're not doing it, we can and might feel something missing inside!  Seems like a problem for only privileged people to be having.  Yeah!  Semi-privileged people suffer the same affliction I think.  EVEN THE COMPLETELY UNPRIVILEGED can probably relate to some extent.     
    What.  Nine paragraphs to go.  I don't know about Advanced Stand-Up Class.  I don't think I'll hit the ground running with Stand Up Brain.  But presumably I'd be able to get into the groove.  I miss getting random hot dogs when being in the city to take classes.  When you walk by a hot dog cart sometimes you think WHY NOT get a hot dog!  No harm done there!  Just a delicious Street Dog out of nowhere!  Well sometimes they charge five or six dollars for one plain RatDog.  That's a reason to not get it.  Why would I choose to be taken advantage of for this spur of the moment activity?  NOPE.  NO THANK YOU.  But if it's 2 or 3 dollars I'LL EAT YOUR DISGUSTINGDOG Between Meals.  I dunno about getting hot dogs from Halal Carts though.  I dunno if they even serve em!  They usually list em on the menu.  I asked once or twice in college and they always said We don't actually make that.  EVEN IF THEY DO my bet is Halal Carts Do Hot Dog Wrong.  First of all it'd be Halal Hot Dog.  That sounds more healthy and less disgusting.  Not sure I'm in the mood for that!  I WANT SOMETHING SIMPLE.  LIKE SOMETHING MADE OUT OF RAT MIXINGS.  Second of all they take food more seriously.  That's Halal Carts' collective slogan!  We Take Food More Seriously.  Remember when they rolled out that ad campaign!      
    I dunno.  Lemme think for a second.  What was I talking about.  I forget.  Halal Food and Hot Dogs.  OKAY.  Hey.  I think I know what's on my mind.  Not even What I've Been Talking about.  But what's ON MY MIND.  I know what it ACTUALLY IS.  Alright I lost track of it.  Sorry.  But for a second there I was thinking about something.  Well I can't remember what I was just thinking of exactly, but I can start thinking new things!  Right now.  I have a book of A-Z Comedic Tropes that I got for a Queens College Intellectual Comedy Class.  And sometimes I flip through it while writing the entry.  And it makes me think about comedy.  I think about the jokes I'm writing and how they could be seen as reduced versions of all the different kinds of jokes there are!  It's fun!  Great.  Helps move the entries along, too!  If I don't know what's going on when I'm writing something, I can just open the book and flip through the pages to help inspire me on how to move on with the entry!  That always works. Why do I have to figure things out that way when other people just use their brain.  I dunno!  Why do other people have to use their brain when I get to figure things out that way!
     HOW LONG HAS THIS COMEDY DICTIONARY ACCESS BEEN GOING ON.  A few months!  I dunno!  Since November or December or January!  Anyway.  I don't know.  Maybe I've learnt a bit from it.  Maybe I haven't learnt anything from it.  There's a lot going on there I think.  What are the ethics about consulting a Comedy Book for inspiration on Doing Comedy.  HMM.  It's not just that I looked at it.  It's that I RELIED on it for help doing the entry.  I should be writing entries free of that nonsense.  I should be writing entries that are... how should I finish that sentence?  (A) Great (B) Relatable (C) Cool (D) Funny OKAY.  I choose to HMM.  I don't like Pokemon.  I enjoyed it as a kid on THE GAMEBOY but now it's overstayed its welcome.  Great.  A voice within me wanted to say that.  DANGIT.  MORE free air to voices within me.  I hate it when they sneak in there!  Anyway I have to write six more paragraphs.  And a few more sentences on top of that.  And then there's tomorrow!  ANYWAY.  Are you judging me for The Book Thing?  SO WHAT.  I LOOK IN THE BOOK.  THE DESCRIPTIONS OF COMEDY TROPES MAKES ME THINK ANALYTICALLY ABOUT THE COMEDY I'M IN THE MIDST OF WRITING.  IT MAKES SENSE.
     Okay.  Great.  Hmm.  What else is going on.  Who.  Why.  ME?  WHO AM I ASKING, " WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? "  Anyone.  All of you.  Any of you.  WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON to the entire universe.  Well I'm about ready to wrap this entry up I guess with six more paragraphs.  I guess.  Turns out we're all in the mood for that.  IT WILL TAKE A WHILE.  It's a long amount of paragraphs to fuck with!  Anyway.  Let's just keep going.  Okay.  Great.  I wish I knew where I was going with this.  Okay that's easy.  Just pick a place Michael.  How about The Cabin In The Woods.  I don't remember that movie but I assume everything worked out well for them!  Okay.  OK.  LOOK.  WHAT ELSE.  When I picture the poster for The Cabin In The Woods its distilled in space or something?  Floating around?  Am I crazy?  Is that part of the plot or just a weird way to frame the poster?  Why would Cabins behave that way!!  Hmm.  I dunno.  I'm not the authority on CABINS.  I'm not the authority on WOODS.  I'm the authority on KEYBOARDS (US) and (UK).
    Halfway through the entry!  DUMB JERKS.  YOU IDIOTS.  Actually spent time reading these last five paragraphs.  YOU FOOLS.  Don't you know ONLY MORONS read this website.  Anyway.  I don't like myself very much.  Sometimes that unfairly transfers onto other people.  Ok Great.  I also don't like SOME Other People very much.  Sometimes that transfers onto SOME OTHER Other People.  YEAH.  I MOSTLY JUST DON'T KNOW PEOPLE.  I know the obvious people to like and dislike and then I Don't Know the vast majority of people!  Anyway.  Great.  Who are the obvious people to like.  You know.  Jimmy Carter.  Batman.  Sexy ladies.  Yeah.  Exactly.  Amazing.  That's one way to think!  Spouting off that exact sequence of answers.  ONE LIFE TO LIVE.  Look I want to be like my hero Jimmy Carter.  That's who I want to emulate.  That's just all there is to it.  I'M IN NO POSITION TO MAKE DEMANDS FROM LIFE.  I can't ask Life What Life To Live.  Sure I can.  Life is there for US!  Your life is literally YOUR Life!  My life is mine.  That's how it works!
    Anyway.  Four paragraphs to go.  Okay.  All I know is that I have nothing to say.  So it will probably not be great.  BUT WHATEVER.  My dad has a problem.  Been hiccupping for a while.  20 minutes or so HE SAYS.  But I don't hear him hiccupping now!  So I don't know what he considers constant hiccupping really if he's not doing it right now.  Either way I'd like to say to the hidden forces that make the universe go to please leave my Dad alone!  He's in pain!  How many points do I want to spend to get the universe to work on that.  I don't know.  Thirty.  That's not nearly enough points to get the universe to leave my Dad alone!  Oh.  Okay.  I don't know the point system.  SORRY.  What's funny about where we're at right now.  What would the comedy book say about this situation.  YEAH.  THAT'S A GOOD ONE.  That's one way to look at it.  Book gave me a nice Possible Tip about What Comic Trope you could call synonymous with THE UNDERLYING THEME of the humour of where we're at.  I guess.  Anyway.  I shuold learn from the book, not learn to be dependent on the book.  Okay.  "Should," means a lot.
   Three paragraphs to go.  I guess I could eat frozen miniature hot dogs.  I was talking about hot dogs.  Now they can become a part of my future.  Anyway.  That solves two problems.  ONE-- I like hot dogs  TWO-- I have to eat something for dinner.  What's the hottest dog you've ever seen.  That you felt like you just HAD to Fuck It.  I don't think I've EVER been attracted to a dog.  And you know we have the kind of relationship where if I had been, I'd tell you.  WE DO?  I'M VAGUELY UNHAPPY ABOUT TAHT.  I KIND OF WISH I WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT INFO EVEN IF IT EXISTED.  Hmm.  Maybe I should see that movie this weekend about the guy who dies a lot.  It looked like a Unique and Original Film.  THEY DON'T MAKE A LOT OF THOSE ANYMORE.  They release 58 movies a year and 55 of them Are Exactly The Same.  THIS ONE LOOKS DIFFERENT and I could be wrong but we'll see.  Now that I think about it It's Probably Just Like The Rest.  IT WON'T LOVE ME.  That's okay.  I get enough love from the classic sources.  Friends Family And Miscellaneous.  Can't expect love from art.  Gotta find love locally.  Think Globally Love Locally.  That thing.
   Penultimate paragraph.  What should I watch on the television tonight.  I'm not gonna watch the State of the Union.  I can't stand watching that guy talk!  Instead I'll do something a lot more productive like listening to my constituents in a town hall or something.  I want to hear what YOU have to say!  Anyway.  I have FELLOW Constituents.  That makes sense linguistically.  Great.  What else is on my mind.  A lot of BULLSHIT.  I know there's good stuff to be Thought And Said somewhere in my head but I'm having trouble getting to it.  Hmm.  What if I start out in the MIDDLE of my brain.  Right there in the center.  Middle middle middle.  Anything going on there?  I dunno.  Cerebrum I think.  Something like that.  What's going on there.  A little more active than usual.  GREAT STUFF.  I'll keep you updated on this situation as I move around my brain and see what's up all throughout it.  ANYWAY I DUNNO MOVING ON.  BRAIN IS BORING.  Just a bunch of impulses.  It'll entertain itself while my extremities take care of REAL business!
    Last paragraph!  I wrote the last paragraph or two on Auto Pilot.  I don't think I said anything interesting at all!  POSSIBLY applies to the last few months!  HMM.  Gotta work on that.  Well, one more paragraph to go.  What are closing paragraphs usually about.  Something light to cleanse the palate.  I don't know if that's true!  Something heavy to assault the palate.  I don't remember that being the case either!  Anyway.  SOMETHING NOT GREAT TO BE IN LINE WITH THE FIRST NINE.  That checks out completely.  Great.  Hey, man.  You're here for some reason.  Your fellow constituents are here for some reason.  I DON'T KNOW WHY.  We've all agreed to participate in this crap.  Maybe it makes us happier than we'd be without it.  I want to be happier than I'd be otherwise in life!  THAT'S A FAIR DESCRIPTION of my life goals!  I DON'T THINK I'm accomplishing that right now!  I'm happy that I'm just about done with my daily responsibilities.  But I'm unhappy it sucked!  And also that I have to come back tomorrow and it'll be even worse cause I have Today's Crap as Tomorrow's New Baseline!  Huh.  NO reason I can't write a good entry tomorrow.  Odds are against it.  We'll see!  See ya later!

-6:08 P.M.     
          

Monday, March 3, 2025

Everyone Else Sees Society Collapsing Right Or Is It Just Me

    Okay.  It's just people in power lying to us over and over and over again!  I mean, even more than usual!  And taking advantage of us!  And screwing us over!  A lot more than usual!  The good news is SUBSTACK.  I don't know what Substack is.  But the Good News certainly isn't in average news. Maybe it's SUBSTACK or something.  There must be Good People Somewhere who will stand up for What Is Right.  And for The Presumably Unrepresented.  Where are they.  Possibly Substack, I don't know.  Well that's step one.  EXISTING.  Gotta have Good People exist somewhere.  If I can IMAGINE they exist that's possibly enough to will them into the universe.  Step two is get them to find each other and put them into circumstances where they can do good work for the common man.  When friends get together there's nothing they can't accomplish!  Step three is PROFIT.  Anyway.  We need to encourage good people to do good and organize.  Seems like we're currently moving away from doing that at the moment!  WRONG.  GOTTA MOVE TOWARD THAT.  Please?
   Anyway.  Took an entire month off from the website!  I don't know why!  I guess I was busy working on music.  Did a lot of music.  Dumb snippets of songs that mostly suck!  But are decent enough to an entertainment starved person I guess.  I could listen back to the thirty minutes I accumulated over the course of each day and be like HEY THIS IS FUN.  But if I ever grow up and have a refined palate my guess is I would not enjoy listening to these things that much except as a curiosity.  Good practice, though!  I'm working on my skills!  I'm presumably getting better at guitar and singing and lyrics and finding my voice!  It's not for naught!  What is MY VOICE.  Some Jerk.  I'm trying to refine my voice such that I Have The Voice OF A JERK.  The only way I can put it!  Anyway.  I like how the snippets collectively tell a story, though!  I LIKE TELLING STORIES THROUGH MUSIC.  I like how music occurs naturally in the universe and I'm working on my ability to tap into it slowly but kind of surely.  I'm gonna work on some more music this weekend and whatknot! 
    Had my Improv 201 class show this past Saturday!  IT went okay!  I did decently!  Not 100% happy with how it went but I am 100% happy that it didn't go horribly.  I SAID DIALOGUE AND CARRIED THE SCENES FORWARD.  BLOOM.  BOOM.  I meant to say Boom but I said Bloom.  New Slang.  Anyway I think my next class I take is a six session Advanced Stand Up Class that starts in two and ah alf weeks online!  I guess!  What if I had to devote this entire paragraph to All Matters UCB.  Hmm.  It was a good class I just took!  I was at my best Improv-wise in this class compared to previous classes.  Which makes sense.  On account of Getting Better Over Forward Time.  The people were nicer than other classes.  The teacher was cooler.  That's all over now, though!  That period of my life.  Now we got an in-between period.  WHAT THE FUCK.  What am I supposed to do/think about/act out/behave as/work toward/look at for the next 2.5 weeks.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT KINDA PERSON TO BE.  Be well.  Take care of yourself.  Don't accept any wooden nickels.  THAT'S NOT HELPFUL.
    I don't like it here.  Website is dumb.  WHY should I write white type over a black background.  IT MAKES NO SENSE. Humanity was not meant to behave this way!  WELL when In Rome, etc.  What was it that Romans did that was so different that inspired that idiom.  Also was it about Ancient Rome or some sort of Modern Rome.  How old is the saying.  Was it related to THE COLISEUM.  MODERN ROME IS AN OXYMORON.  Look around they've got old buildings all over the place.  It's an OLD city.  Well anyway.  Started watching The White Lotus.  Why are there multiple White Loti.  Seems like the kind of Resort that'd be a One-off, not a chain!  Shows how much I know, though!  Very little.  Compared to YOU I probably know about anywhere from 1/10th to 1/10,000th of what you know!  A LOT of what you know I shouldn't be expected to know!  Details about your friends and your life and the things you dream about each night.  HOW COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE THAT KNOWLEDGE.  And, me not having a life, all those Life Details You Know give you a real edge in You Knowing More Things Than Me.  Oh.  Okay.  Also I've Forgotten most things I used to know.  Brain atrophied for just long enough living as an adult isolated with my parents for half my life that I lost most of what I used to know!  I think that's reversible.  If I ever get a life I'm gonna suddenly be like OH WAIT SOME STUFF IS COMING BACK TO ME.  19th century American History.  SOCIAL MEMORIES FROM THE TENTH GRADE.  MY BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER.
   Okay.  That was a shitty paragraph.  I said things I've said many times before.  Now I have another chance to write something good again.  What's the game of this paragraph.  Game can be a chord progression.  G Am E.  Off the top of my head it wouldn't sound great but it's worth playing around with for a few minutes if you got some time to spare.  We deserve better paragraphs.  I GET why these paragraphs exist.  I understand the impulse to write them this way.  It's easy to write and easy to read.  But it's not GOOD.  Everything I've written so far today IS NOT GOOD.  I probably wrote 2 or 3 jokes.  But it rounds off to zero!  Hmm.  Look.  I can get better!  Don't leave me!  Whatever.  On the other hand some solitude couldn't hurt.  What was 100 Years Of Solitude about.  Was it about one person's life?  Most people don't live 100 years.  Maybe it was about a tree or something.  A Lonely Tree could live 100 years of solitude.  Oh.  It's about a family over several generations.  A FAMILIAL SOLITUDE.  Great.  Magical Realism is too magical for me.  Not real enough!  I always read GGM and am like not in my world!
    Anyway.  The Oscars were last night.  I checked in to see how everyone was doing.  Seems like Conan O Brian was the host and they were handing out awards for filmmaking.  After the first half I tuned out!  I think I got the idea!  I did appreciate the part where Everyone Got Together For A Common Cause.  Film Making And The Celebration Of It or something I dunno.  Maybe they just had nowhere else to go last night.  I dunno!  Maybe they were supporting one specific person or film but In General they're Anti-Film.  WHO is Anti-Film.  DIGITO: THE MASGOT FOR THE DIGITAL MOVIE.  Is that pronounced like The Word Digit then the sound, "Oh," or like how it might sound with the Japanese suffix Ito. Possibly a third option!  Anyway.  I am pro-film.  I like the feel of it.  I wish I had it between my fingers right now.  I would get off halfway sexually with it!  If I had some literal film to play with.  Ah well.  Paragraph moves on!  What are other options besides Film and Digital.  Wax.  Can you produce a film on Wax.  Lemme LTURQ.  AI says just film and digital.
   Great.  So that means there's a 70% chance you can just make a movie on film or digital!  AI continues to be a blessing on our lives!  Okay.  I don't think I like AI.  Wait no I'm thinking of ET.  THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL.  IF ET was any good how come I never even seen that movie?  I Don't Know What Happens!  Under those circumstances how am I to like ET?  I know ET harasses an innocent family for ninety minutes.  That's all I need to know!  Huh.  Wants to finger a young boy.  Hot Finger On Finger action.  WHY would I want to see that.  Must be something better you could make.  It could even have weird aliens.  Just instead of them touching kids have them do cool things like go bowling or make firework shows.  IT COULD WORK. OK.  MOVIE ABOUT A WEIRD ALIEN WHO GOES BOWLING AND MAKES FIREWORKS SHOWS.  And he's just a Good Citizen or something.  That's the theme more or less.  THE TITLE COULD BE, "GOOD CITIZEN."  Anyway.  Do you know who would make a believable alien to play that role?  AN ALIEN.  If we were IN Real Life I'd probably just refrain from making that joke.
   Three paragraphs to go.  Who are some popular Alien Actors.  Priscilla Presley.  Dr. Phil.  Viola Davis.  Where do they come from exactly.  Elsewhere!  Wow.  Now they're here.  Sharing The Earth.  Great.  It's a big planet!  Enough room for everyone!  There's lots of oceans it'd be really convenient if some of them were waterpeople.  Any of you aliens Waterpeople?  We got lots of water!  GREAT.  What else is up.  Two and a half paragraphs to go.  THAT MILESTONE.  WE'RE THERE.  ALRIGHT!  WaterPeople in that film about people made out of different elements I Wanna Say Elemental.  Probably!  ANYWAY.  What were my scenes about in Improv Class Show.  I played the part of A PERSON who was in SOME SORT OF SITUATION where there was a CONFLICT.  And let me tell you I Made Jokes!  Anyway.  What the Hell.  I can tell you.  I was with someone who brought home a STREET PIGEON to live with us.  You can only imagine how that made me feel.  And that was 2+ scenes.  Two scenes plus a microscene.  In the first scene I was like YOU DID WHAT. And in the second scene I was like I LOVE THIS PIGEON.  And in the third scene I was like LOVING THIS PIGEON MAKES ME REALIZE HOW MUCH I DON'T REALLY LOVE YOU. 
   Okay.  It went decently!  I didn't like what I did but I got enough laughs to placate me physically and chemically.  Now my levels are back to normal.  Huh.  Michael aren't you concerned they were laughing at you not with you.  WELL considering they were laughing at times designated for Laughing, NO NOT REALLY.  I'm sure two or three people were Thinking Bad Thoughts At Me but I wouldn't worry about that.  WHAT WOULD I WORRY ABOUT.  I'm worried about a lot.  Start reading the first paragraph again for some of it.  I think I'm worried about A LOT now that I'm pressed what would I worry about.  DANGIT.  ASK ME SOMETHING ELSE.  Michael what aren't you worried about.  OH. OKAY.  THAT'S AN EZ ONE.  Pretty sure Dying Isn't So Scary.  Being Dead.  NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT ON THE OTHERSIDE.  Alright.  Why would I say that.  I dunno.  I just feel that way.  Life is dumb enough to make me think that death couldn't possibly be any worse.  Good!  Seems to feel right!  Then again if I continue to think about it I might talk myself out of that confidence.  HMM better start thinking about something else then.  Let's talk about THE RENAISSANCE.
    Happened in the sixteen hundreds.  Lots of people participated.  Good stuff all around!  I'm sure a lot of people tried to Renaissance but then really didn't.  For every Leonardo da Vinci there were two thousand Leonardo da Assholes.  Who painted some bullshit no one cares about.  Luckily we don't have to learn about them.  That'd be a weird way to learn, though.  If we took art class in high school and we literally had to turn the page 200 times over bullshit to get to the Mona Lisa.  Gotta do the manual labor of physically turning the page 200 times over horrible art work until we get to the one piece that is worthwhile.*  IT'S GOOD.  IT TEACHES KIDS HOW TO THINK.  NO I DON'T KNOW HOW.  I dunno.  I guess I'm pot committed to writing entries this week but I dunno about next week.  This website ain't my jam I don't think!  I don't understand it!  Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow.  What's there to figure out.  It's Me Being Me.  I dunno if that's accurate.  I really don't.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

*Editor's note-- good news...we don't have to turn the page 200 times to get to page 200.  Just gotta turn it once!  THAT'S HOW TURNING PAGES IN BOOKS WORK!

-5:18 P.M.        
  

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