Friday, June 29, 2018
I See Your Entry And I Raise You One Title
I guess that makes sense. Hey friends.
I'm presuming we're friends. No, I'm Insisting It! You just
got Friend'd. So you got that going for you. Anyway, been a couple
of winks since last entry. Weeks. From now on, I'm gonna type
the wrong word, then draw attention to it instead of correcting it. Sounds
like a fun exercise to be enjoyed by all. I'm insisting you enjoy it.
Anyway, what's going on in the wide world of sports. Diet goin'
strong. Walking up a storm. Just like Ben Franklin's kite.
He's In For a Shock! Jeez. I was watching the first 20
minutes of Girl, Interrupted and it reminded me of my experiences being crazy.
Then decided to come here and be Crazy. And a pronoun to describe myself.
It's the title of the website. Let's get on the same page!
You know, "Winks," and, "Kites," and, "Capitalizing Too Many
Things." That kind of crazy still lingers in my bones. Just like
marrow, I hate it so much. Would a crazy person know what marrow is?
I Think Not! I don't know what marrow is. Something about you
suck it out of clams or something. Anyway. Sometimes my
affectation is Stupid, sometimes its Crazy. I think we could all agree
that Stupid is better. Let's get back into Stupid Mode. Alright.
Watched Fiddler On The Roof last night and today. Made me sad about
America. Watching the Pogroms and stuff. People are in situations in
other countries where they have to leave for their safety and we're tellin' em
to fruck off. And I'm just sitting idly by. It's like that, "First
They Came For the ..., And I Said Nothing..." and we're all Saying Nothing.
I Hate It When That Happens!
So I'll devote a paragraph to it on a website viewed by
twos of people. As if that means anything. Oh well. I
don't know, crap and crap. I was watching Girl, Interrupted and it made me
sad about the Pogroms and stuff. I was watching Lord Of The Rings and it
made me sad about how Suaron is mucking things up for all of Middle Earth.
Doesn't Seem Right! I've watched 8 hours worth of Lord of The Rings/The
Hobbit and the main thing I think about throughout it all is Stephen Colbert
Likes This. Can't get it out of my head! Anyway. We're all
a little crazy sometimes. Like when we watch movies and feel bad.
It's just a movie! You know, like MSNBC? I don't know
what that means. Maybe you do. Third paragraph and whatnot.
Cool! Now's Not The Time To Get Dejected!
Now's the time to... Write Paragraphs?! That doesn't sound right.
But it is right. Not "right" in the sense that it's "good and just."
"Right" in the sense that it's "factually correct." And in the sense that
"Quotation marks can be as misused as Capitalization, but Trump doesn't do this
yet to my knowledge." What else is going on. Fourth paragraph.
The point is Trump Is A Fool. And that's the bottom line. Anyway,
jeez. Took two walks yesterday! Now we're talking Health.
I have the DVD of Fahrenheit 9/11 loose in my Alcohol Drawer.
This means something. Means that my DVD collection is in need of
organizing. You know, like church service? When they need to play
a riff. Preferably the riff that David played which pleased the lord.
Don't mess with success!
Wow. Crazy Entry, ain't it. If we cease to
make sense, Trump Wins. Oh No. Gotta start making sense.
Anyway. Haven't drank in a week and half. Gonna have a drink or two
today. It's the weekend and whatnot, let's live it up. The Real
Crazy is to subconciously associate my writing with potentially having any sort
of impact on the world. But then again, That's What They Want You
To Think! You should usually think what they want you to think-- they
know best and who are you to argue? Not in this case, though. They
are Criminals and Evil. I watched a movie about it called The Last Word
With Lawrence O' Donnell. Anyway, what's going on. Every week
something new terrible happens. And each time, we gotta think, I Don't
want this to happen-- oh, wait, I forgot-- I'm completely powerless.
What Else Is On TV.
Such is life. Cool! And I'm
brainwashed by MSNBC that there's some subconscious part of me where I'm like
These Progressive Challengers aren't gonna know how to govern! They'll get
in there and not know how to do things. Better support moderates, or even
better-- not get engaged. Such is MSNBC. What'd MSNBC do, why
all the MSNBCritisism. I don't know. Anyway, what paragraph are
we at. Sixth. And I haven't even started drinking yet! I guess
I'll eat dinner when this entry is over or potentially mid-entry. We'll
see! MSNBC doesn't even talk about upstart progressives vs
establishment dems, that's how subversive it is! Their silence speaks
volumes-- even when they talk about it.
What else. I guess the real reason I'm upset is I
Don't Have Money On Poker. Either that or The World.
Either that or Haven't Seen Jurassic World II yet. Why see it--
We're Living It! Not sure what that means. Most likely nonsense,
but I won't discount the outside possibility it made sense by chance.
There was a show when I was very young about a Dinosaur Family. Not sure
what they were trying to accomplish with that. Get ratings so people
will watch the advertisements, is my best guess. I've mentioned it
here before, but as I get older, it gets increasingly weirder how I spend half
my day watching a device solely existing to show me commercials.
What about Netflix and stuff-- you're paying for the content directly.
You're paying for entertainment. Still, can I justify spending half my
life on entertainment?
Probably not. Unless I'm creating the
entertainment. Now, that's productive! The math doesn't add
up here. Oh well, such is life. Eighth paragraph. Cool.
I googled Suaron to see how to spell it. Now The Eye Of Google
can see where I'm at. I fell for the oldest trick in the book!
There's no "I" in google. I think that's a line Josh Gad says in
The Internship. Cool! Anyway, jeez. Entertainment is
productive because you can make people think the way you think. And the
way you think is obviously unequivocally correct. That settles that.
Cool! I don't know. I had to stop watching Girl Interrupted 20
minutes in because I don't like being reminded of the periods of my life what
which I could relate to from seeing that movie and whatnot. Also, grammar
and sentences that make sense-- who needs it?
Ninth paragraph. What the what. I told my parents
my, "Two wrongs don't make a right. Three lefts do," joke/witticism/piece
of wisdom, and they argued with me that it doesn't make sense, but I drew them a
diagram, and now they're on board. So I got that going for me. I
like Fiddler On The Roof because halfway through, the writer(s) was/were like,
Man, can't think of any more songs. Let's just not have any more songs.
Nobody's gonna notice. Wow. Jeez. Even Fiddler On The Roof
is brainwashing material. By the end, I was like, Yeah! Don't
allow that girl to marry someone whose not Jewish! That goes against
tradition! So I got that going for me.
Tenth paragraph. What the what. The worst part of
dieting is, when 90% of your food is from delivery, you gotta split means into
2s or 3s, so you end up eating the same thing day after day. That, and not
being alowd to eat as much or as much of what you want to eat. That's
what dieting is. Cracked that code. Anyway. I gotta get a
life. I'm going stir-crazy, that's what this is. Went to the Open
Mic a week and a half ago, should do that in a few days. To prevent me
from getting Stir Crazier. I don't know. Maybe this entry made more
sense than I'm giving it credit for. Maybe none of the entries make sense.
Maybe who cares. Cool! Jeez. Gonna take a break from
entry. Watch some TV for a while, eat dinner, then I'll be back here with
Part II. See ya soon!
The World Is The Crazy One
Paragraph. Ate dinner. 2/3rds a burrito bowl and an ice cream
sandwich. Ice Cream Sandwiches are healthy in the long run. They
make me happy. Anyway, jeez. Gonna stop my Drinking at One.
See, the Ice Cream Sandwich is paying off-- made me not want to drink more to
save calories. What else. I've been hard on MSNBC. They just
report the news, it's not their fault. I call a truce with MSNBC.
So, what else is going on. I accidently ate a fly last night on my walk.
Was just walking, breathing, like I always do. Fly flew in there right
while I was inhaling cigarette smoke. So, I guess I inhaled a fly.
That's not right. I feel like it ended up in my stomach, not my lungs.
So I got that going for me. I was unused to taking a 2nd walk of the day
at night, and I went to walk in the wooded part as the sun was going down, and
there's no clear path for that part, and it was almost completely dark-- but
there were fireflies! Man, did they come in handy. Totally saw my
way thanks to fireflies.
Walking in the dark is healthy in the long run.
Because it made me appreciate fireflies. Learn somethin' new every day.
And the thing I learned yesterday was Hey, Let's Appreciate Fireflies.
So I got that going for me. 12th paragraph. Watched 20 more
minutes of Girl, Interupted. Man, was me writing part one of this entry
a real manifestation of the title. So the entry was healthy in the
long run. Manifested Titles. Great! Jeez. One of my
family's favorite past times is pointing out other things the person currently
on TV has been in. It's the main activity we share every day.
Healthy. Anyway. Probably gonna get a new Digital 8 Track soon.
Start up with some new songs. Wow! What else is going on.
13th paragraph. How many will I end up with?
15? 20? Who can say for sure. Not me. Apparently
the City College creative writing MFA, you can enroll for the Spring Semester.
So I kinda wanna do that. No guarentee they'd accept me, sure. Also,
more expensive than Queens College would be. Between tuition and the
necessary dorming, it'd be 44 thousand for all 4 semesters. Which is
cheaper than one semester at NYU, but more expensive than things under 44
thousand dollars. So I don't know. Thinking about how I'd put
together my portfolio. I think I need 40 pages, but it can be a
complilation of things. I could have 5 or 6 catefories, too! I think
thats a way to Dress to Impress. Start out with some Non-Fiction, dive
into FIction, segue into short plays, then into some poetry, then, if there's
time, maybe some comedy-jokes, and possibly even song lyrics. They'd be
like, Wow! This guy is almost adequate at a lot of things!
So that's good. Everyone knows that writing
is based on Experience, and I've experienced as much as I can living with my
parents the past decade. First I experienced my Mom watching Dexter,
then I experienced her watching The Walking Dead, then Netflix era where she
watched lots of things. That's it. Experience around other
people, at least. Social experience. That's the experience I'm
talking about. Personal experience? I've watched a lot of stuff
on my own, too. So, great. 14th paragraph. Boy, was
that Dexter phase a long period of my life. And you know what?
I can't stand Dexter. So I got that going for me. Maybe I can
write a 40 page short story about Dexter. Can't rule anything out at this
15th paragraph. Cool! And who can forget the time
I experienced my Mom watching Breaking Bad. Memories. Jeez.
AAnd aalllll that time watching MSNBC. That's why I don't like
MSNBC, it's usurped me in my parents eyes! Pay attention to me, not
Rachel Maddow! I'd pay attention to Rachel Maddow all day. Ya'll
know what I'm talkin' about. Sure I know what usurped means--
not that. Get off my back about it. Anyway. I eat
apples every now and then. Dig that! And sometimes pretzels!
Pistachio Nuts. No Snack Left Behind. Huh. Jeez.
The bad news is I left over a third of Chipotle the last two nights, meaning,
guess what, I got the exact same amount of Chipotle left over, meaning, you
guessed it, Chipotle again tomorrow night!
What a world, what a world. Got Subway a few days ago.
They sure do make bread with less calories than you'd expect. That's my
Hot Take on Subway. I guess aiming for 5 more paragraphs. We'll see
how that goes. I've come around on Flavored Tootsie Pops. I used to
be all about Chocolate, with the thinking being, if you're eating candy, go
for the chocolate-- if you want fruit flavor, might as well eat fruit.
But now, I think, you're gonna get to a chocolate middle either way, might as
well have some variety when you're eating a tootsie pop. Orange is
good, cherry is good. Blue. I like how we all agreed this is what
blue tastes like even though there is no blue food. Blueberry?
Those bastards are black! Also, where am I. What's going on.
17th paragraph. I hope the phrase Those Bastards Are
Black isn't gonna get Google to have Crazysheet show up when googling Racist
Websites. Because it's not a racist website. I'll stand by that
contention. For a long time, I liked horror movies probably as my favorite
type of movies. Cause bad horror movies are still good, if you know what
I'm saying. But now I'm into Drama Movies. Because, afterall, isn't
Lifelike Dramatic Social Relationships and whatnot really The Most Horrific
Thing Of All? That's my Hot Take on Genres. Cool. I don't
know. Guess I have to finish Girl Interrupted tonight. Still got 2
Lord Of The Rings to go. My schedule is packed!
Three paragraphs to go. I haven't had a haircut in a
while. That's my Hot Take on Me Getting Haircuts And When I've Gotten Them
Recently. I can't wait to eat more ice cream sandwiches to see how they
pay off in the long run. It's good to set goals for yourself.
The Fiddler On The Roof sounds like a horror story. What's he up to.
Sleep Tight son, and don't let the fiddler on the roof in!
That sort of crap. Oh, I get it. He fiddles with things.
Lifelike Human Drama things. Cracked that code. Anyway, what the
what. I think some people might watch Fiddler On The Roof and think it has
a happy ending. Ah, they got kicked out of their land, but they're
coming to America now! That's the best place ever! Problem solved.
Might have been how I would have felt if not for the last few years.
Well, they're gonna be here in 1905, America was okay
then. No it wasn't! People had to work jobs like chimney sweeps
and the house of lords and beggars on the streets of London. Wait, I'm
thinking of 19th century Britain. I always get the early 1900's of
America and the 19th century of Britain confused. Prove me wrong!
One and a half paragraphs to go. I got that going for me. Maybe we
had chimney sweets in 1905 America, I don't know. I don't want to know.
Some things are better left in the past. Anyway, jeez. Chimney
Sweeps. Looks like we got another winks/weeks situation.
And there's probably been half a dozen more situations like that in the middle
of the entry that I haven't realized. Oh well, such is life.
Last paragraph! Wow. I think I saw Michael Moore
is gonna be on Bill Maher tonight. My joke about Michael Moore-- Wow!
I know you said 'More,' but this is too much! Because of his weight.
There's too much of him. Politics. I think he might have lost
weight. I don't know. I guess I'll find out with the rest of you.
Wonderful. I saw they made a sequel to An Inconvenient Truth. II
Inconvenient II Furious. That's my hot take on Global Warming.
Which is a hot take on our past, in-equilibrium environment. Ah, the
good ol' days. Guess I can take a second walk of the day now.
I'll see ya later.
Saturday, June 16, 2018
Don't Encourage Me
Just kidding. Do it! What have you
got to lose. Most people have a lot to lose. Their life, for
one, we all got that in common. Other things, one would imagine, on a
person by person basis. America was founded on a person buy
person basis. I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm
free. I'm white, right? Ok, been confirmed that I am white.
Gonna stick with that thesis, then. Anyway. I bet kids throwing
tantrums have been influenced by these things with the government separating
kids from their parents. "I wish I was an immigrant so I wouldn't have
to see your face again!" Hey, I didn't say it. The imaginary
tantrumy kids did. Take it up with them! Anyway. No more money
on poker! Good news. This way my gambling addiction will fade away.
Just like the life with which I have to lose.
...Right, right. Anyway. Havin' a drink or two
today! First time since last week, so we're still in Healthy Territory.
The American West became a healthy territory once we got rid of all the
Bison. I Can't Stand Bison! They make me sick. Anyway,
what else is going on. I've been thinking about writing The Great American
Novel of Our Generation, but so far, haven't thought of a good story. The
one story I came up with was a book-within-a-book where the book-within-the-book
is the as of yet fictional This Seems To Be A Book. So, the point
is, I'm 98% done. What else is going on. Don't Encourage Him
or Don't Encourage Me could have been the real book's title.
Don't Encourage Him: The Kid Stays In The Picture is the full title.
No one's used that yet, right?
Anyway, third paragraph. Has someone written The
Bible yet? Maybe I can do that. God Created the Heavens and the
Earth. Fast forward several thousand years. Fade into my room,
exterior. It's me. The kid stays in the picture. That's
half a rip off of a Mr. Show sketch and half utter nonsense. Sounds
like we got the tone for my upcoming Great American Novel! 50% Mr.
Show rip off and 50% utter nonsense. Now that I got the main ingredients,
and the proportions, it'll practically write itself. How about
The Book That Wrote Itself, and it's about a book that somehow
wrote itself. I've given myself a lot to think about. Anyway,
what else is going on. I Wish I Was A Kid Killed In a School
Shooting, then I wouldn't have to deal with your bullshit anymore!
I didn't say it, fictional straw man did. Is that a straw man. Or
does a straw man's purpose specifically have to be to prop up some sort of
debated topic. I Don't Know!
Wow. Fourth paragraph. Haven't even started My
Drink yet! Let's do that. My Novel would have to appeal to the
post-millennial generation. Who knows what they like. Taco Bell.
That's my main best guess. Anyway. Hmm. Lost another 2.5
pounds this past week. The pounds are just melting off! Apparently
we lose many liters of fluid waste every day through sweat.
Pretty sure I don't sweat that much. I would have noticed, right?
I guess not. Because of Science. I don't know.
What's goin' on. To Encouage is to install courage.
Cracked that code. "Install" or "Instill." Let the
editor figure that one out. What else is going on. I had portion
controlled Burger King tonight for dinner. That'll show nutritioninsts,
they think they're so cool. What else.
Fifth paragraph. Initiated drinking sequence.
Let's see, words, words. Maybe go to Open Mic this week. Running out
of alcohol and that's an opportune time to replenish my supplies. Cool!
Apparently alcohol and Ritalin don't mix well. There goes my Monday
Nights! Anyway. Made steps towards getting my new TV.
Great! Considering applying to Creative Writing MFA at City College, where
I could enroll as soon as next Spring. That'll be a positive life
experience. Livin' life in the city, takin' classes. Becoming the
Next Great American Writer Guy. What's his deal, people will
say. That's the extent of my being able to fantasize what life would be
like if I wrote a great american novel. "What's his deal." It's
interesting because I don't know what my deal is, either!
Halfway through entry most likely! Cool. I
would have to use my book to convey to people what my deal is. That
sounds like hard work. I don't like this idea anymore! What
else. I went swimming last weekend for 25 minutes. It wreaked havoc
on my muscles and my ability to not have a headache. Try it again tomorrow
maybe! I don't know! Sixth paragraph. 6.16.18. Not a lot
going on in my life these days. Get up, muck around for an hour, take a
walk, muck around for a few hours, eat dinner, muck around for an hour while
sitting up at computer, muck around for a few hours lying down, go to sleep.
The ratio of Mucking Around to Not Mucking Around is way off the ideal person's
ratio. Way off! Might even be completely flipped. Maybe
ideally you go 5:1 Not Mucking Around to Mucking Around. I got it flipped!
The point is the next paragraph is the seventh.
Cool. What else. Another good idea for a Book
Title-- "What's a Book." Without the period. I added that for
grammatical reasons. You wouldn't understand. Or how about "Whatta
Book!" I added that exclamation mark for Title Reasons. Part of
the title. Anyway, jeez. I don't get why Dry Cleaners have really
sentimental phrases on their hangers. "We <3 Our Customers."
Back Off! You're coming off way too strong. I don't know what I've
done wrong in our relationship to lead you down this path, but believe me, I do
not reciprocate! Frankly I'm gonna have to look for new Dry Cleaners.
Ones who know how to take things slow. Maybe I learn to love my new Dry
Cleaners one day, I don't know! But if I do, it'll be on my schedule.
Jeez. What else is going on. You don't go to get a coffee and the
guy goes "Thank You For The Order. I Love You." Although maybe
that's a great idea for a coffee chain. We could call it "Love You's."
And every customer walks away with a declaration of supreme affection with their
every purchased coffee confection!
Why. Eighth paragraph. Rip off of Idiocracy.
Well, everything's a rip off these days, huh. What else is going on.
When I took my SAT's, and ripped the little sticker holding the pages closed,
I just wrote What a Rip Off! on the first page and didn't fill in any
bubbles. That showed them I got Personality and they gave me a 2080
out of the kindness of their heart. Well, not really. Because I
showed some Personality and they thought that was an appropriate stand in for
Mathematical and Literatural Knowledge. Cool! Anyway. I think
my year in high school was the first one where they expanded from a score out of
1600 to one out of 2400. And I think it's possible they changed back.
Haven't kept up on all the SAT news, I'm sorry to say. What else is going
Ninth paragraph. I vaguely remember them making chicken
nuggets into dinosaur shapes in honor of Jurassic Park. And I definitely
remember that the frozen chicken nuggets I get as an adult come in dinosaur
shapes, regardless of whether there's a dinosaur movie in theaters at the time.
Sure I eat dinosaur chicken nuggets, I'm an eight year old. Anyway,
what else is going on. I believe White Castle's Chicken Rings were
originally in honor of The Ring and people liked them so much they stuck
with them. Also, French Fries were originally in honor of 2001: A Space
Odyssey. What else is going on. I watched AI: Artificial
Intellgience for the first time in over a decade. I What Went To School
With That Guy. My main claim to fame is a passing knowledge of the
first robot who could love people. So I got that going for me is the
10th paragraph. May go past 10-- I don't know!
Trump met with his North Korean counterpart. I like his strategy.
Both of theirs. Racket up fear of a war that was never gonna happen,
pretend to get along, and Hey They Avoided War! and they both get credit
for it. I don't know, North Korea War Might Happen. No one's
consulted me about it, that's all I can say. I don't know, what else.
Is the Intercontinental Belt in Wrestling a reference to ICBMs? Like, for
example, Chris Jericho can reach cities 2000 miles away within half an hour.
That sort of crap. Nobel Prize In Literature, Please.
I don't know. 11th paragraph! And I don't
even have Poker going on at the same time to keep me busy. What else is
not going on at the same time as this. Pretty much everything.
I don't know. If I write a novel, I'm gonna have Titled Chapters.
Not a lot of Grown Up Books do that. But I am! Really mixing
things up with this fantasy book. People are finally gonna know What My
Deal is. Or, at least, wonder what it is. Either way, My Deal is
gonna be a topic of conversation. At last! It's about time.
Jeez. I still have Second Half of Burger King for tomorrow's dinner.
So I got that going for me. Apparently Burger King is called Hungry
Jacks in Australia because there was already a Burger King in Australia.
How'd they come up with that name. One name is as good as another.
12th paragraph. Gonna stop anywhere between after this
paragraph between after the 15th paragraph should it exist! Cool. I
don't know. The Good The Bad and The Ugly rip off. What else
is going on. The guy who played The Ugly must have developed low self
esteem. Really? That's my defining characteristic to the movie
going public? Alright, I guess. It's an honor just to be nominated.
Also, what day is it. Where am I. 'Don't encourage somebody,' that's
all I can remember. That'll be my audience's deal when I'm through
with 'em! I don't get Spaghetti Westerns. Hey, you know what's
really fascinating? Some other country's history! Thumbs down.
Jeez, I don't know. Three more paragraphs probably I guess.
Cool! How far away are we from a new round of Manifest
Destiny? 5 years? 10 years? Anyway, what else is going on.
"We were just joking about the wall-- we're gonna go past it now. Ya
snooze ya lose!" That sounds like a logical Donald Trump talking point
within a few months. "If Mexico doesn't pay for a wall, guess what,
what's gonna stop us from taking over Mexico." I give it 2-4 months
before that happens. "Parts of" Mexico is how it'll start. Let people ease
into the idea. Anyway, two and a half paragraphs to go most likely.
Jeez. It'll be The Zimmermann Telegrams all over again! Which
is a relatively appropriate historical reference. Well, almost. I
Jeez. I heard Bob Dylan really changed
his name was because he didn't want to be associated with a proposed alliance
between Germany and Mexico in World War One. Sounds right.
Anyway, 14th paragraph. What was that proposal even like. Hey
Mexico, I don't know you and you don't know me, but what do you say we team up
for some reason? Hit me back broseph! That coulda been in
italics, too. Oh well. If it was, then that couldn't
have been in italics. Would have continued the same thought when it
wasn't. Anyway! Nonsense. I had the same reaction to IHOP
changing its name to IHOB as I do Donald Trump. Why do they bother
reporting on what these assholes are saying. Commentary. Is it
possible that IHOP changed its name to highlight Burgers specifically to
appeal to Donald Trump? That's the Fox News business model.
15th paragraph! What fun was had. I don't know.
I think Weird Al prematurely blew his load making the "Gump" parody of the song
"Lump." Could have done, "Trump." That would make us laugh and learn
and heal as a nation. Oh well, too late now. If you replace the
word "Gump" with "Trump" and leave everything else in the parody song the same,
it actually still makes perfect sense. You heard it here first.
Take a bath soon after this entry is over. Some mucking around before and
after. Mission Accomplished. The mission for Today. Covered
all the bases and whatnot. Speaking of bases, The Mets Are Playing!
Will they keep their 3 game lead ahead of the Miami Marlins? I can't wait
to find out! My main way of keeping up with Baseball is checking the
Angels' box score each day to see how much points Mike Trout added to his season
XTRA PARAGRAPH. I don't believe it. What's
going on. That guy's deduced average of how many more games his team
will win throughout the season above the level that a replacement level player
is way above average! Fascinating. Cool. I don't know.
16 is a good number. Divisible by a whole lot of stuff. That's how I
feel. Anyway, time to close it up. We had fun and whatnot.
That's cool. Maybe see Jurassic Park V: Jurassic World II this week.
I like those sorts of movies that have been inspired by chicken nuggets. I
don't know. Jeez. I'll see ya later.
Friday, June 8, 2018
Let's Make Website
Hey crapheads and whatnot. Been roughly a week since last entry, and I
crave the endorphins and whatnot writing this entry will release! Still
livin' healthy. Just ate an ice cream sandwich! It seemed like
the right thing to do. Lost another three pounds. Swimming Pool
which is available to houses in my condominium opens tomorrow!
Condominium is what happens when you cross The Space Time Continuum with my
neighborhood. So I got that going for me as well! Anyway, what
the what. Plannin' on doing something this weekend. Either see a
movie or go to Open Mic on Monday. Seems like the right thing to do.
That's what Bein Healthy is all about. Just do what seems like the right
thing to do. Which doesn't mean always do the immediate-healthy
thing. Sometimes An Ice Cream Sandwich is the right thing to do, in the
That's my theory. Eatin' some apples every now and
then. You know what that's like, right. Cool. Been watching
The Saw Franchise the last few days on TV. My main takeaway from it is
'Was' is 'Saw' backwards. Each movie further affirms this belief.
So I got that going for me. Not a fan of the proposed change to 'Stuy &
Friends' schools way of accepting students. Tests are the way to go
because Cool Kids Like Me didn't care enough in middle school to get good
grades. And why should we? It means absolutely nothing! And
that's how it should be! Oh, I got a needs improvement in
English.... Who Cares! Having to care about grades in middle school
is ridiculous. What's next-- having to care about grades in elementary
school? This is the wrong direction for this country to be going! I
feel very strongly about this.
I don't like the idea perpetrated in the media and in public
opinion that Stuy Students are geniuses. Like we all know advanced
calculus and can build robots and essentially have enough medical knowledge to
become doctors. We just know exactly what you know, but better! We
take the same classes you do, but we average an A instead of C . That's
It. I mean, sure, I'm a genius, but the rest of my former
classmates? Not Impressed. It is a nice building, though.
That's the best part about it. Real quality architecture. Anyway,
jeez. Third paragraph. There was an article somewhere repairable
where the writer was like I visited Stuy and they all study all the time--
they rush out of class to get prime seats at the library and if they can't get
seats at the library they study out in the hall! Those kids aren't
studying, they're playing Chinese Poker. Or Cuddling. There was a
big controversy when I was in Stuy about people Cuddling in-between classes.
Not a joke! I wish I had gotten in on that
cuddling action. And, also-- we don't like studying. We have
parents who put immense pressure on us to do so. Get it right!
But, in the end, the real point is-- I Went To Stuy You Idiots! I'm a
Genius! Get It Right! It's an important point to make. It
really puts into context my Affectation of Stupidity. Anyway, jeez, what
else. Fourth paragraph. Figure I'll have a drink or two at some
point tonight. That's what I feel like. Also, the school is
brilliantly built to deter school shootings. Some guy starts being a dick
and shooting people, throw him down the escalator! Problem solved.
Winnin' a lot in poker. That's good. Healthy and whatnot. Plus,
I'm gonna stop playing for a while now! So I stay Doin Good!
Fifth paragraph. Take a drink this paragraph!
Cool. I've mentioned this before, but I'm sick of people telling me my
shoes are untied. I stay out of your business, you stay out of mine.
Last time it happened, I instinctually gave the guy a thumbs up. Underused
gesture. Thumbs Up makes people feel good. Alright, had half a
drink, corresponding with sitting out at Poker. What The Hell Just
Happened! I realized I'm wasting Drinking, writing a Clunker, and
Poker Money means nothing In The End! Life just took a decidedly unhealthy
turn. Alright, I got half an entry to write, let's make it good.
What's some comedy. Trump mucking things up. Let's Stop Him!
You know, Band Together and Make Change! I don't know how, I figured
you knew how. Why were you acting like you knew how when you didn't know
how? You gave me false hope-- like that Star Wars movie!
Star Wars Episode IV-- A False Hope. Is
there a Star Wars equivalent for Trump? I don't think so, because even
those on the Dark Side have some humanizing or relatable characteristic.
Darth Vader was a father-- we all have fathers. That's the only
character on the Dark Side I know. I think Yoda might have been on the
Dark Side for some part of his life. He was up to some seedy shit in
his 20's and 30's. That's right, you guessed it-- high end male dwarf
prostitute. Hey, he needed to make ends meet, that's not evil.
Stealing The Force from his clientele Through Sex, though-- that's evil.
"The Force is With You, The Force is Away From You, The Force With
You, The Force Is Away From You." What he says while going through
the motions. Sex Motions.
7th paragraph. Sure I know how sex works. It's
when you come together with someone you love to steal their force. Anyway,
what the what. Thinking about withdrawing from Poker enough to cover my
last deposit. So when it shows up on my credit card bill I can go
Already paid it off. Sounds Responsible to me. Then again, they
make it hard to withdraw. Alright, I'll play poker. They
suckered me in alright. What else is going on. Two and a half
paragraphs to go. I can do that for some reason. I can go swimming
tomorrow. That's something to look forward to. Spread some germs to
some unsuspecting swimmers and whatnot. It's kind of depressing to see the
numbers in the Oceans Franchise go down. The next one is 7, the
next one is 6... just seems lonelier. We get down to Oceans 2 and
it's just two people lamenting their lack of friends or acquaintances.
Cool. Oceans 1. It'll take one person
to pull off this heist!!!! ... Better get started. What else is going
on. They should have a Global Warming themed sequel called Oceans
Whatever: Rise Of The Oceans. Three paragraphs to go. Which is
somehow more than the 2 and a half left halfway through last paragraph. I
blame faulty math. That's my point about Stuy-- some of us are still
working on counting. Oh boy. Anyway, jeez, what else is going on.
Just had the second half of the drink I had poured. I don't know.
Still got at least half a Saw movie to watch. Maybe a whole other one.
I can't wait to lose all the weight so I can finally fit inside my guitar case.
It's good to have reasonable goals and whatnot.
9th paragraph! Cool! Got a Seafood Stir Fry for
dinner tonight. Had half the rice and all of the seafood. Half the
vegetables. Should I finish it tomorrow for dinner even though it's just
rice? Or throw it out. I've given myself a lot to think about.
What would be the Healthy thing to do. Not healthy to eat just
rice. Not healthy to waste money and food. People in Food are
starving. Too bad there's not a Homeless Center next door, I could donate
it. What's a Homeless Center. Sounds suspiciously like a "Home."
I'm onto you, Homeless Center. Shelter! It's called a Homeless
Shelter! Ah. Still sounds suspiciously like a "Home." I'm
onto you, Homeless Shelter. Just googled Homeless Shelter without any
real desire to read anything that popped up, and one of the suggested searches
was Homeless Shelters Near Me as well as Homeless People. I
accidentally read them together as Homeless People Near Me. Now
that's a good app. Get informed of all the homeless people near you!
Great. Anyway. Tenth paragraph. A chance I
go past 10 paragraphs this entry. We'll see. Seriously considering
getting the shoes that make you look taller. Not to an extreme amount.
You can get it so it increases about half an inch, all the way up to 5 inches.
I figure 1.5 or 2 inches would be good. Not so bad that it looks
completely ridiculous, but enough that'll increase by 100% the amount of girls
who appear to be my height or shorter. That's a Key 1.5 to 2 Inches!
I can't overstate this unless I had the right shoes. Feel like that'll be
good. Healthy, even! I don't know. I would have to cut off
completely anyone I've met in life up to this moment. They know too much.
11th paragraph. Let's Do More! Cool. What
else is going on. It was 6/6 a couple of days ago and I got scared because
of the devil. So far so good though. No Antichrist around or
anything. I know, I've got the Antichrist app. Alerts you whenever
an antichrist is born. And gives you directions to their house so you know
where not to go. Anyway, jeez. Poured myself another drink.
Health! Just lost money in poker. Unhealth! Anyway, jeez.
Still on the 11th paragraph. I got that going for me. Mets are
playing the Yankees today. And they're not even losing! They've got a
solid 1-1 tie they're working on. Not bad! Bill Maheralago is on
tonight I believe. I sometimes watch that if I want to feel depressed.
These are the best guests you can get? C'mon, Bill! The joke
is the state of the world doesn't depress me-- the quality of guests Bill Maher
gets does. Health!
12th paragraph. I guess unconsciously going for 15.
Multiples of Five are pretty good stuff. I wonder if anyone goes into
watching Bill Maher consciously and specifically thinking- Ah, it's
'Real' Time. Gonna get real Real. You know, like the way its used in
slang? We're in for a real 'Real' time. My guess? Yeah,
probably a few dozen or so. This may be the last paragraph. I don't
know. Mets just gave up the Tie and it's time to change the channel.
Which would correspond nicely with me finishing the entry and whatnot.
Really get a fresh start. Like with pretending I'm taller for the rest of
my life. Eh. I'm not pretending I'm taller. I'll be upfront
about my real height and everything. I'll just be like, well, when
we're out in public, I'll appear 2 inches taller. That's it.
Everyone's happy with that, right?
Don't see how that's being dishonest or anything.
My goal is not to trick anyone! Just make everyone happier with the whole
situation and whatnot. 13th paragraph. Watch out for Satan.
This is one of his favorite numbers! Satan likes 6, 13, and 0.
Is it a positive or negative number, I don't know. He loves the
confusion, that's what he lives on. Just made a call in poker when I knew
I shouldn't have. Oh well, that's life. It's healthy to make the
wrong call sometimes. In the long run and whatnot. What else is
going on. Sure I lost, but what if I called and won?
Did you ever consider that? Really sheds some doubt on the whole
situation. 13th paragraph. Two more after this one. Cool!
Anyway, jeez. Still up a lot today overall.
Alright! Cool. Tomorrow is 6/9. Satan likes
that. Cause Satan loves to fuck. What else is going on.
Is it up, or is it down, I don't know. Satan lives on the confusion.
Penultimate paragraph. Let's see, words, words... Haven't done
anything produtive in a while. Work/Schoolwise. I've done Lets Be
Healthy and Write Once A Week. But no work or schoolwork. I remember
those days when I would write essays once in a while... like a chump! That
reminds me of another amusing anecdote from half a year ago. I was
thinking of the word, "Highways," in relation to some thing and I thought of the
word, "Essays!" I thought it was real interesting. What does it
mean. Essays are highways. Highways are essays. Let's get to
the bottom of this.
So the point is something interesting happens to me twice
a year. And that qualifies as interesting. Last paragraph!
Alright. Every now and then when watching a baseball game in the bottom of
the ninth inning I expect to hear the Stone Cold music and everyone to go crazy.
So far, nothin'. Great. Apparently the Yankees pitcher got injured
earlier in the game while running the bases. That's a positive for the
Mets. A decent player on another team got injured. That'll increase
their playoff probability percentage ever so slightly. No it won't.
He's on an AL team. If anything, it's bad for them-- when they face future
NL East teams they'll be worse. Great-- when it rains it pours!
I'll see ya later.
Sunday, June 3, 2018
Titlin' Makes Me Feel Good
I may have used that title before. Too bad there's no way to find out.
Sure there is. I don't have the work ethic to check 8 months!
That would take years. Anyway, what's up! Losin' money in poker
But livin' healthy! Healthy makes me feel good. Lost another four
pounds, with no signs of fatigue! Haven't drank since last weekend.
Still Alive by all measures. So I got all that going for me. Here's
a Save-Em-Up goof-- I want to start a trend called 'water birthing' where you
take a shit in the bath. It's funny cause it's true! What else
is going on. I was watching Kill Bill Volumes I and II and at the end of
volume II, Bill talks about how Superman is different from other super heroes
cause he is Superman, and Clark Kent is his alterego. As opposed to
regular superheroes where they are regular people, and their alter ego is the
superhero version. I did that line of observation a few months ago!
And I never even saw that movie. The point is I'm Great For Some Reason.
If it's good enough to be in a Quinton Tarentino movie, I
know I've made it with my musings! Anyway. He thought of it
first. It was up in the ether. I just grabbed onto it. Oh
well. Live and learn, I suppose. Anyway, jeez. Afternoon
entry. Bill was very powerful, but the one thing he couldn't defeat was
death by strangling himself for sexual gratification. Oh well, live
and learn. Jeez. After Kill Bill ends, there must be a huge void in
the International Assassin market suppliers. She killed a huge percentage
of them! And don't even get me started on the Crime Syndicate in Tokyo.
She killed roughly 100 of them! A lot of lower level criminals are gonna
have to step up, and quick! Anyway, jeez.
Third paragraph. I keep thinking about Googling How
Many People Pick Their Nose but I don't want my privacy invaded. Who
knows what kind of Targeted Ads I'd get based on that query. I don't know.
About 50% of the time, during the portion of my walk in Wooded Area, a bee
follows me a large part of that time. What's its problem. I'm not
bothering it, but I could kill it easily if I had to. Not very smart
keeping company with me. And that's the bottom line. Anyway, jeez.
I wonder how far from the hive bees feel comfortable going. I mean, at
some point, isn't the bee gonna go, man, I'm a far way from home. I
can't do this anymore. Saw a guy on a hover board a few days ago.
Now that's good exercise.
The point is It's The Fourth Paragraph. Great!
Maybe drink at some point tonight. Gotta mix things up. It's Healthy
to drink. Because it makes me feel good. That's what Healthy is.
Sometime this week, I'll be crossing the threshold from Obsese to Overweight.
Alright! Jeez. Haven't done last two open mics. Don't think
I'll do the one tomorrow. I like riding the train to and from and
everything, but don't quite enjoy the open mic itself as much as I used to.
And don't even get me started on walking from the train station to the Open Mic.
No, it can't just stand in for my Walk Of The Day and everyone's happy.
I gotta carry my guitar while I'm doing that walk! Terrible!
Jeez. Wanna get started on a new round of music. But I also want to
Not Do Anything. So you can see the pickle I'm in.
Strange expression. You can see the pickle I'm in.
In what sense does being in a pickle mean anything logical at all. I don't
like it! There was a very brief period of a couple of months where I
enjoyed pickles. Ah, memories. The point is Great. I've
grown very partial to the Aisha Tyler version of Whose Line Is It Anyway.
I feel very strongly about this. Maybe I should do Open Mic tomorrow.
That would be Healthy. Socially and whatnot. What else is going on.
Started playin' some poker just now. That'll get the creative juices
flowing! I don't know. Thinking about Future Grad School, started
leaning towards Creative Writing instead of Screenwriting. I googled
Screenwriting and it seems like such a grind. Not like creative writing!
You get to be creative! That sounds like fun.
Halfway done with the entry theoretically. Cool!
I don't wanna play poker right now. What if I lose. That sounds
logical. Could have a drink, but it's a little early for that. Who
knows what to do. Whatta jip. I wish I knew what to do.
Alright, I'll take half a drink. Better than losing money.
Great. What else is going on. Still no new TV. What am I
supposed to do. I dream every night, though. That's like watching
TV. I guess I could just sleep 20 hours a day. That's hard, though.
I'd need some sort of extreme drugs to keep me asleep. Can't hurt to
dream though. Right. That's the point. Way to keep up.
I don't know. I like that rumor you hear as a kid that if you die in a
dream, you die in real life. How would they figure that out.
No one lived to tell the tale. Maybe they just did some research and found
that no one in recorded history has died in their dream. Then,
theoretically, it's not a stretch to deduce it is possible to die in a
dream. Therefore, you die in a dream, you don't wake up. Makes sense
No it doesn't. Oh well, live and learn.
Everyone loves to dream of flying, but it sounds so risky. Sure it'd be
fun, but you're flying, what if you lose the power to fly halfway through and
plummet to your death. What if you fly straight into a glass wall at
enormous speeds. The point is don't do anything risky in your dreams.
You don't want to die by accident! Makes sense to me. Sure it
does. 7th paragraph already? Alright. Wonderful. You
also got to be careful around strangers in your dreams. You don't know,
they might just stab you for no reason. It's Dreamland, anything can
happen! What else is going on. Whattado after this. Got nothin'
Cool. What else is going on. Three paragraphs to
go. My TV has the weird vertical thing where the picture goes up and down
like an old fashioned TV might from time to time. I thought they fixed
that in the 70's. Like the thing that Andy Kaufman wanted to do in his
special on purpose as a practical joke in Man On The Moon. That happens
all the time with my TV. I thought they fixed that in the 70's. Like
an old. Fashioned. 1970's. Andy Kaufman. TV.
Huh. Guess my TV is playing a practical joke on me! I knew it.
I wonder what my exposure to Andy Kaufman would have been without the movie.
I'd find out who he was sooner later, what with my interest in Comedy and
whatnot. Maybe I'd actually picture him as himself instead of as Jim
Carrey. Maybe I'd know what's really at the heart of Andy Kaufman, and
what he's all about on his own words and actions, on his own merit.
Instead of that God Forsaken Movie!
I like that movie. He's from Queens-- like me!
A match made in Queens. Like me! Anyway, ninth paragraph.
Donald Trump is from Queens-- like me! Anyway. We're already pretty
deep into the Trump presidency. Even without him leaving office for any
one of the legitimate reasons he should, we're relatively close to a new
election. Much closer than a year and a half ago. Roughlly a year
and a half closer. I'm good at math. When I had to do math from
Kindergarten through first year of college, I never really had an affinity for
it. But now when I think about it, it's kind of poetic in a way.
At least that's my theory. I still don't know any Math, but I feel like if
I did, I'd be like, "Oh, pretty poetic stuff. You know, what with the
algebra and times tables and whatnot." I can barely remember how to
multiple large numbers. Something with carrying the number to the left
Hmm. What else is going on. Heh. Just
thought of a joke I'm sure I've said here before. We should call
Algebra "Freedom Math." Now that's a quality goof-em-up.
Averaging 1000-1300 calories a day. Perfect. Right on target.
I don't know. Kinda want to write past this paragraph, but I'm reaching my
limit. Oh well, we'll see. I could always use that as an excuse to
drink more. And I'd be getting more Paragraphs, so it's healthy.
Anyway, what else. I don't like the e-mails I get from Democratic Groups
or whatever. The headline is always, "Trump FURIOUS," or, "Republican
Rally BACKFIRED," or something. And then it just gives bland details
about Trump just held a fundraiser or something. And nothing really
happened. Also, if it says Trump FURIOUS, they just say we just raised
10,000 dollars. This made Trump FURIOUS. Will you donate more? I
don't think Trump gets FURIOUS every time you raise 10,000 dollars. But I
guess you did some focus grouping and found that this is what makes people
Alright, one more paragraph or so. An even 11.
You add an, "S," and you got yourself a store! Commentary.
Now I have to finish this paragraph, what with the Seven Eleven Commentary.
Great, just great. I don't know. I guess I'll be eating dinner in an
hour and a half. That's something to do for 10 or 15 minutes. Great!
I don't know. Last few times I got Chipotle it wasn't that good.
Anyway. I don't like ordering through DoorDash because you add on the tip
to give the driver with the order, and when they come, I feel guilty for not
giving them a tip then and there. I already gave it to them! But it
just feels wrong accepting food from someone and going Thanks! See ya!
Get the Hell outta here! Anyway, jeez. Also, not 100%
on board with the "Dash" part. I don't want anyone to get into an accident
If you die while driving a car to bring food to me, you
die in real life. I guess I'm doing a 12th paragraph. Great, just
great. I think Spiderman should have just stuck with his job as a Pizza
Delivery Boy. He'd be pretty good at that. He could even demand a
25% tip or so, what with the speed he gets you your pizza. Of course, he'd
have to be Spiderman delivering your pizza, not Peter Parker. But it seems
like a good fallback option if saving lives isn't working out anymore.
What with his name recognition and positive feelings towards him, he could open
his own pizza show. Mama Spiderman's Italiano Pizzeria. He's
got a lot of options in life is the point.
Three paragraphs away from an even 15. Maybe go for it,
I don't know! It would give me an opportunity to drink more. 2-3
drinks once a week, makes sense. Healthy and whatnot. Sat down at a
poker table one level below what I'd normally play. That'll give me
something to do while writing this entry without worrying about losing money.
Anyway. I think playing poker in highschool and college may have helped
with my writing and songwriting. Gives you a rush playing poker, what with
money being important in life. You stop playing poker, you're like, I'm
here at home, need a rush to do something productive... I'll write!
Makes sense to me and whatnot.
2 paragraphs to go. Great. Quantity is always a
great back-up to Quality. What else is going on. I must be down 6 or
7 hundred dollars the past 2 years in this incarnation of playing poker.
Jeez! That sure has added up. Oh well. I should just stick
to this level of poker. Less stress and higher probability I make this
incarnation of bankroll stick. That sounds like a healthy way to live
this part of my life. What else. Not eating as much Fruit and
Vegetable as I shuold be if I wanna be healthy. Just eatin' low calorie
Crap Food as snacks. 100 calorie Ice Cream Sandwich and whatnot.
That's a big Go To. Vanilla tastes healthy, thuogh. It's
pleasurable to eat. Feels good goin' down my gullet. If it feels
good, must be healthy. Biologically and whatnot. Evolution.
You wouldn't understand.
Great, last paragraph! And it's 50% longer than I
set out for. What else is going on. Great, now I'm losing money
at the lower rate. Such is life I guess. At least at this
rate, it's healthy. I'm all about Healthy this week. I don't
know. Smoking cigarettes is healthy. It has Menthol in it.
Menthol makes me feel good. I don't know. Almost done with this
crap. Then it's Lie Down On Bed and Watch TV For An Hour before dinner.
Sounds good to me. No it doesn't. Sounds better than some
alternatives. Like being dead. That's no fun any way you look at it.
Cool. I don't know. Maybe this entry was a Healthy because I get in
the habit of playing poker at the lower level. Anyway. When will
next entry be. Make next weekend. Once a week seems doable.
I'll see ya then!