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Friday, July 31, 2020

Shut Up I can't Think!

   It's good advice!  Shutting Up So I Can Think is both practical and productive!  It Benefits both You and I.  And other people As A Third Thing.  Anyway, what's going on in the wide world of sports.  Lotta disease and pestilence.  I wonder what pestilence means.  I feel like I Used To Know What It Means but now I Forget and just remember the context its used in.  Is that like when Bugs eat all your crops.  That could be it.  LMLTURQ... A Fatal Epidemic Disease.  Oh Right So What's Going On Right Now Is Pestilence.  Glad we got that covered what else is going on.  I still like Pestilence meaning when Pests (insects, etc.) are eating all our crops.  I feel like that was one of the Ten Plagues on Egypt and actually did always thought it meant Your Crops Goin' To Crap on account of bugs.  Oh well.  The moral of the story is I Like It When I Thought Wrong Things Because I'm A Sentimental Guy.
    Surely God can think of a more Practical and Productive way to assume form on Earth than a Burning Bush.  1) can't be around very long, eventually the bush is gonna burn completely.  2) Why 3) What kinda message you sendin' 4) Why Anything 5) I'M NOT BUYING IT!  Now that I think about it, for some reason, I always identified with Moses a bit more than other Bible Protagonists.  Maybe because of Popular Culture what with Movies and Cartoons and Popular Songs.  Or maybe I'm just a guy whose got Moses-esque qualities.  On the other hand, though 5) I'M NOT BUYING IT!  Anyway gonna start Beer in a minute.  Gotta do something.  Well if Pestilence isn't Bugs wasn't there one that was just CICADAS or something.  Hornets.  LOCUSTS there we go.  I dunno.  Cicadas makes a lot more sense to me!  Maybe it was Crickets.  I sometimes confuse Cicadas with Crickets.  In Real Life.  Now You Know.
They both make distinctive sounds, right?  And Cricket is an onomatopoeia?  Well it almost is.  CRACKED THAT CODE! What was the point of the Frogs Pestilence.  Oh gross all these frogs.  Yuck, kinda inconvenient, too.  Just trying to go about my business but THERE'S TOO MANY FROGS AROUND.  Kinda redundant with the locusts.  Pick one!  They'll eat your crops and be gross and inconveniencing.  You don't need TWO.  I think it's a good thing that Pharaoh had enough After All First Born Males Dying.  Cause after that, where can Moses go?  Pharaoh is like ok lost first born males STILL SKEPTICAL OF LETTING YOUR PEOPLE GO. And Moses is like well crap I'm kinda out of ideas, now.  Dunno how I can escalate from Killing First Born Males... Hmm..  God, any ideas?  He'd have to go back DOWN to DE-ESCALATING.  Maybe make some compromise with Pharaoh it's time to go back to the table!
    Whatever.  Are Adult First Born Males also on the Chopping Block (Learnt that phrase from The Food Network).  Anyway after that plague Egypt's gender balance for Upcoming Generation must be way out of whack!   It's gotta belike Two Females for every One Male.  In which case HIGH FIVE MALE ANCIENT EGYPT KIDS YOU'VE GOT IT MADE IN THE DATING WORLD.  Now You Hold All The Cards!  Was Moses the first Super Hero Vigilante.  I think if you take that story out of Judeo Christian Muslimic Bible and put it into DC Comics it fits pretty well.  Well you could say that about most Bible Tales.  Yeah But I Don't WANT TO.  It muddies up the riff I'm trying to do, lets just ignore Facts about who or what is comic books.
Wow.  Anyway.  I like Communal Dinners because it's High Quality Food and it's fun to Be Family, but I don't like it because Gotta Eat It At Specific Time.  I wanna have a late lunch?  Can't!  I know I'd just have to Eat Again Soon anyway!  I probably talk about that once a week because It Comes Up Once A Week.  Just like Sunday.  Hmm.  Any other day, too.  I was just thinking about Suns and how they rise and set.  Sunday.  MOON DAY.  Cracked that code.  TWO-SDAY (second week day).  WEDNES... well that's clearly nonsense gibberish . Wednes.  Means NOTHING.  Maybe it's Wedding Day.  Weddings are important to Modern Humans because they give the go-ahead to mating.  Thursday... HHER'sday.  The point is we can go on and on with this and never stop.  Well, we can do Two More and then stop completely.  Only a finite amount of Days Of Teh Week.  But I Want To Stop Now! 



Give me A Break

   Have I riffed on Days Of The Week before?  Yes!  Have I riffed on Bible=Comics before?  You bet!  Is it different this time around because It Is Today And Not A few Months Ago?  Let's Hope So!  ANyway got some Good Lunch Going.  We're talkin' SAVORY (Hearty) Beef Barley Soup and Some Roast beef sandwich on a hot dog bun.  For some reason that's something I'm trying out.  Got a pack of Hot Dog buns from Supermarket and I'm like I'll just make sandwiches on a hot dog bun!  I think I was inspired By Eating Hot Dogs.  And then thinking well obviously hot dog buns are more appropriate for this than White Bread.  And then I just sorta took the next step, unconsciously, to well ALL sandwiches are more appropriate for Hot Dog Buns Now!  And ya know what?  SO FAR SO GOOD.  Led Zeppelin has a song called Hot Dog.  Which I took to mean as Like, "Showing Off," o something.  To be a Hot Dog is to Show Off Your Stuff!
    I feel 80% chance that's an accurate definition, 20% chance I made it up in my mind somehow for some reason.  LMLTURQ...
wait a second i don't need to look that up.  I feel like I've definitely seen that in movies.  Very Likely ARMAGEDDON.  Where Bruce Willis is like to Ben Affleck, NO WE're DRILLERS BUT YOU'RE DRILLING TOO HARD AND FAST STOP HOT DOGGIN' IT YOU'RE GETTING TOO BIG FOR YOUR BRITCHES YOU'LL DOOM US ALL!  So that settles that.  2nd most likely case is I Saw It In A Football Movie.  And Coach is like To Player, NO TIME FOR YOUR HOT DOGGIN' RUN THE PLAYS LIKE I SAID ALRIGHT BREAK.  Also now the Team Manager says OK BREAK.  He saw the Quarterback do it Time And Time Again and was like THIS TIME I WANNA DO IT.  OK BREAK.  ALSO REMEMBER NO HOT DOGGIN'.
Fascinating.  Looks like hopefully we get air conditioning fixed tomorrow.  Anyway.  I was watching The Conjuring Franchise: The Two Conjuring Movies the last two nights, and the Conjuring II: This Time ARound scared me legit last night!  I think I went to bed with the lights on!  Then I woke up with them off.  Which to me either means I woke up at some point and turned the lights off AND/OR Ghost turned lights off.  In which case thanks for not waking me up and scary You're A Good GHost As Far As Ghosts Go.  Anyway, it reminded me, as a kid, I was scared of ghosts ALL THE TIME.  I feel like probably 50% AT LEAST of the time I was going to sleep I was scared for some reason or the other.  Ghost on the other side of the bed.  Ghost on the ceiling.  Ghosts in my closet.  And this lasted Until/Through HIGH SCHOOL.
In high school, I always thought I got too little sleep because I was up all night either doing school work or putting off doing school work.  But there's also, even up to that age, a part where it's likei II'm too scared to fall asleep!  1) THATS WHEN THEY GETCHA! 2) too much adrenaline to fall asleep.  I'm also not on board with empty chairs in my room.  Current room or Past Child Room.  If there was a ghost THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE THEY WOULD BE SITTING.  Anyway, I dunno.  There's one more Conjuring Franchise Movie I can see on HBOMAX that's a different Line Of narrative so I'll check that out.  The good news s roast beef hot dog was Good, Soup was Good, and I got a nice Good dinner coming up in 3, 3.5 hours!i  Fascinating!  The point is if you're scared of ghosts all the time at what point Are You Really Haunted?  I might have never SEEN or EXPERIENCED a ghost but just being scared of it, doesn't that mean something was there? 
    OH NO RUN AWAY GHASTS!  The good news is I have orange soda which I haven't had for a few weeks!  Really reminds me of how Orange tastes.  Anyway tomorrow is a new month.  Not in and of itself.  Tomorrow marks the beginning ofa new month.  Then the new month continues for another 29-30 days I don't have all the numbers unless I do Children's Rhyme In My Head.  Let's see, twenty one days has November........ THIRTY ONE!  I think I always just took it for granted that oh yeah All Kids are scared of ghosts every night when they go to sleep.  Natural State for kids!  To Be Scared!  Now I know the folly of my thinking.  A little bit too late.  Anyway I'll be back in a while.




Don't Make Me Come Back There

   The point is Horror Movies are all well and good but I think we shuld mostly agree that Laughter Movies are better.  Except for when Horror Movies are funny.  Or when Laughter Movies are scary.  And then there are Dramatic Movies.  Whoever heard of Dramatic, it means nothing, nobody knows what it means.  Air conditioning might be getting fixed today.  I like the idea of that because I'm sweating something awful! Was there a news story in the last few days where it was something about Nike shoes and something about Reebok shoes?  Or was it in a movie I saw in the last few days?  Or did I just dream something about shoes.  Hmm.  Really makes ya think. ANNABELLE COMES HOME?  I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT!
Aren't there more important things to be scared of.  Yeah like Poltergeists?  No Important Things.  Ahh like Amityville Horrors!.  No, more like real w-- yes THE EXORCIST IS HORRIFYING I SEE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT.  Ugh.  Just imagine a Burning Bush going PSST MOSES OVER HERE.  C'mon.  It's Me God.  Lemme get up with you for a quick sec.  Man I don't remember Ornage Suda being this Citrusy!  True story!  I think it's very clever (and DANGEROUS) that a lot of Top Horror Films are based on, "True' Stories."  Don't you know by Telling True Stories you activate the Poltergeists ALL ACROSS THE LAND.  Of course they know!  That's why they're doing it!  They don't care how many people get haunted by ghosts along the way as long as their Box Office is high!  TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.  For shame.  Blum House.  DON'T THEY KNOW THAT'S THE SECOND HALF OF MY NAME.  MILLHOUSE?
Really makes ya think.  The point is if I was born 12 years later sure I'd be on board with having inside joke with friends where I'm Blumhouse and its insinuated that I assume a Millhouse-type-character While Being Blumhouse.  SURE LOTS OF THINGS 12 YEARS LATER.   Children of the Corn-- Blum House. Finally all the pieces are starting to come together!  By which I mean I am An Amityville Poltergeist.  Now where's that Exorcism I ordered.  Also can't get Exorcisms during Covid!  Not safe!  They've got us Coming and Going!  Yeesh.  Remember in the future when Joe Biden was president.  How did we get there.  Specifically the 95 days leading up to his election.  How did those go again?  I Forgot!
    Penultimate Paragraph!
 Of the entry.  You get it!  I'm pretty sure if we all just collectively, obsessively, refresh Polls 60 times a day, that'll do the trick and get him elected.  Gotta be laser-focused!  On reading polls!  The same ones!  Over and Over Again!  That's One Way To Go!  Anyway came up with a real great nickname for Trump to use on Biden-- Bazooka Joe.  Also is it just me or is Trump not using Nicknames as much.  I think that's a big whiff.  Nicknames are his strength he's really gotta Lean Into Giving People Nicknames.   Bazooka Joe, it reminds us of gum, nobody likes gum, that's why Bazooka Joe is out of business, #PutBazookaJoeOutOfBusiness.  Just around Ninety Five Days Or So To Go.  The good news is I have TWO kinds of Hot Dog.  I got three of the Regular 150 cal Hot Dogs.  And I got six of the 45 calorie Sawdust Dogs.  It was a mistake re-upping with Sawdust Dogs but oh well!  Was there a war when Bazookas were the main weapon.  I feel like it plays a key part in In The Army Now.  But that wasn't a real war.  As far as WE Know.........
Last paragraph!  The world is a scary place.  I just always kind of thought children were just particularly attuned to that fact.   Air Conditioning Repair Men are here.  Outside the house.  Best case-- they can repair without coming into the house.  Medium case-- they can repair with coming into the house. Bad case-- they can't repair.  Worst case-- they can't repair WHILE Coming Into The House.  Blum House.  Amityville Children of the Corn Blum House.  Amityville is only half an hour away from where I live.  Plus there were all those winters I overlooked at The Shining As A Child.  Ugh.  Anyway time to close this entry up.  Right now about 1/2 way through 3 beers.  So I got that to look forward to is the point.  Beer is good for you VS ghosts.  That's why Overlooker in The Shining is always alcoholic.  They know its their best defense.  Ugh.  I'll see you guys tomorrow.  Maybe I won't be so afraid.

-4:37 P.M.




Thursday, July 30, 2020

I Can Do Better

   WHEY Good News!  No there isn't.  That sounds accurate now that I think about it.  Had the, "W," in, "Whey," already there and I typed out, "HEY Good News!"  I think WHEY is more clever and more accurate.  WHey is like Porridge, right?  I learned about it in Grimm's Fairy Tales or Aesop's Fables or Man's In General' Foibles.  I don't have all the deatils.  I saw on Twitter Trump wanted/had a Football team named The New Jersey Generals back in the 80's.  And wanted to be in the NFL or something presumably?  Now we know why he's always Generals.  Always General This, General that.  All the Generals like me, this.  I will try to cancel the General Election, thatI could look ingo TrumpFootballGate but I'd be happier just forgetting about Trump altogether.  Anyway I did some, "Research," and there's not much of a story with this Football Gate.  Anyway.  Maybe Trump would be more suited to being a Sports Franchise Owner.  All he cares about is Winning.  Might as well do some winning Where It Doesn't Count At All.  And also in a position where Other People Can Do His Winning For Him.  He's not too great at winning on his own.
    PORRIDGE good news!
  Also I've never had porridge and I think it would be gross but I Kinda Wanna Try Porridge?  Three Bears + One Little Girl can't be wrong!  Also what kind of family sets out a meal and then leaves the house.  And Also what kind of people cook a meal that is somehow at 3 different temperatures per bowl.  The cold portion, obviously you took that out first.  Then the medium portion a little bit later.  Then the Hot portion you just
took out.  And then you all Immediately Leave The House!  And there happened to be a girl walking by The Bears' House and is like Hmm wonder whats going on in there.  Why there are anthropomorphic bears in the first place I dunno!  Why there is an Anthropomorphic Little Girl I dunno!
    Jeez.  Point is Got Some Coffee Going, gonna start some Beer Goin' right about now.  Got tons of great meals for the next week.  It's a real embarrassment of riches.  Gonna start Coffee #2.  Or is it #3.  I feel like it's #3.  The first cup was too hot.  Second cup was too cold.  Which logically leads us to assuming the third cup will be... well, even colder.  That's how thermodynamics work.  Duh.  Anyway Fridge & Freezer Temperatures, speaking of THERMOSDYNAMICS, way up compared to where they should be!  Standard is apparently 0 Degree for freezer, 38 degree for Fridge (Fahrenheit).  Now?  We're up to SIXTEEN DEGREE FOR FREEZER and FORTY SIX DEGREE FOR FRIDGERATOR.  This happens every time we got a big order.  Then after half a day it starts going back down.  But each time its always like OH NO SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED.
    My Dad is always like YOU GOT TOO MUCH its because its packed full it can't be as cold.  And I'm like MAYBE WE GOT TOO LITTLE EVER THINK OF THAT?  If only there was a little girl in the family who could advise us how to order Just The Right Amount Of Groceries.  But whom then doesn't get enough for herself.  Then she eats all OUR groceries.  Then we maul her to death Because We Are Bears.  Anyway is that a way to conceptualize Pandemic Quarantine?  We're all Hibernating?  That's a good, "Positive spin," on it!  How long bears hibernate.  About 5 months.  That means if I'm dunzo in about a few weeks (which I won't be!) RIGHT ON TIME.  Also yeah bears hibernating but own a house, always leave porridge out while 1/2 year sleep, yada yada yada you get it.
  Jim Nabors is WHEY Cool!  Figured out another facet to this homonym Simpsons writers!  Anyway, I dunno.  BBQ Salmon + Rice, "Spanish Rice," for lunch.  Anyway, Delivery Person who Brought Groceries To My Front Door wasn't wearing a mask!  Whatta chump!  I Socially Distanced though I ain't comin' within six feet of no Non-Mask-Wearin' Chumps!  Also I REALLY DIG wearing a mask in public.  I think I've joked about it before, but its true, I could be making any kind of silly face I want and The General Public Has No Idea.  I keep getting spam from some Democratic-Aligned Fundraising thing and I've gotten half a dozen, at least, e-mails where the subject line is something like Yes, Yes, It's Really Me, James Carville!... which is funny because 1)James Carville is totally irrelevant 2)...well, I guess it's just the, "1."  But its funny because he's like YES THIS IS THE REAL JAMES CARVILLE!  I get he was The Political Strategist Dude 30 years ago.  But a lot has changed in 30 years!  For example Now Its Roughly Two And Half Generations Later! 
we wish James Carville the best of luck.  I'm sure it's a worthy cause he's asking for donations for.  I just think Tripling Down on James Carville As Your Pitch isn't gonna really play very well.  Carville, huh?  You mean like a parking garage?  JOB PLEASE.  Anyway.  PSA Ad Campaign with Jim Carrey 30 Years Later with green make up on going SOMEBODY STOP ME!  (...from NOT wearing a mask.  Wait, no.  Stop me from NOT NOT wearing a mask.  The point is I Wanna Do The Right Thing Here so No One Should Be Stopping Me From Doing The Right Thing!  Which Is Wearing A Mask  The Point is Remember That Time when I was looking at Cameron Diaz and my eyes popped way out of my skull and my tongue stretched out 4 feet?  Because of her beauty?





You Know What I Mean

   The point is if Jim Carrey is relevant 30 years later why Not James Carville.  I dunno Lots Of Reasons. Touché!  I think the main two morals of Fairy Tales is 1) Watch Out For Bears 2) Don't Trust Wolves.  Watch out for Bears I get But where there a spat of Wolves-impersonating-Grandmothers going on at the time?  I'm not 100% on the moral of that story.  Don't trust wolves, could be impersonating people... don't trust grandmas, could be a wolf... don't go to grandma's house at all only bad can come of it...  Probably the third one.  Abandon your elderly family members They May Be Metaphorical Wolves In Grandmother's Clothing.  Sounds about right from MY perspective.  What else is going on and crap.  I think it's a bad sign where our most inspirited and enlightened monologue-type-discourse arrives During Funerals.  We saw it with Jonathon McCain.  We saw it with Jonathon Lewis.  We saw it with Jonathon the kid I knew when I was in elementary school.  He's Dead Now For Some Reason.  Anyway, I dunno, what else is going on and crap!
    I dunno.  You don't have to tell me not to trust wolves.  I wasn't planning on it!  But then again I've been Raised from Inception on these tales telling me Don't Trust Wolves.  If not for Fairy Tales, I dunno, Maybe I'd Be Trusting Wolves all day!  Anyway it turns out James Carville was the one who hacked into my phone.  Oh well what can ya do.  Maybe delete that, "Riff."  You know-- those two short sentences?  In which the only think resembling a joke was the reaction of-- "Yeah that didn't happen."  Oh well such is life and whatnot.  One can only hope that when they read out John Lewis' will on live TV (I assume?) I am awarded his Baseketball Franchise for one year and if I do not win the Baseketball Championship it team is awarded back to someone else.  That corporate guy whose up to no good.  He's next in line is the point.
    What else is going on and crap.  Also I realize Timberwolves are a thing but wouldn't Timber Beavers make more sense?  They actually cause Timbering.  Wolves got no business with trees at all! Not as far as I know at least.  Watched, "Go Ahead And Do The Right Think Won't You?" yesterday and it's a real good BLM matters movie.  Hmm BLM Matters.  Is that the next level down from Black Lives Matter?  Black Lives Matter Matters?  It's true Black Lives Matter Does Matter But Also Just In General Black Lives Matter.  Just Like Being AntiFa May Be Part of AntiFa But Also Is Just Anti Fa.  Well cracked that code.
Anyway.  I dunno!  Looks like some ROAST CHICKEN tonight. 
Some sort of Potato Spheres along with it.  Awesome!  The bad news is For Some Reason SUpermarket Gave Me A Pound Of Bologna.  I asked for Zero Pounds of Bologna!  Not explicitly but implicitly.  I assumed when I asked for no bologna I'd get no bologna and they wouldn't just assume, well clearly the default is One Pound Of Bologna He Must Have Just Forgot To Specify.  Maybe It Means something.  This guy is full of bologna.  Nope!  Means nothing!  Just means Supermarket Is Dumb and gave us a lot of free Baloney.  I spelled it differently The Last Time!  The thing about bologna is I Like It the odd time I have it but I'm pretty sure it's unhealthy as Fruck.  Oh well what can I do.  If you get food you have to eat it!  Otherwise you're some sort of Jerk.
    Cool.  Figure I'll take a break after this paragraph, come back in a little bit with lunch.  I figure lots of things.  Probably 10, 12 things At Once.  Well I dunno about that that's a lot to figure at once.  How about 6, 8.  Now we're talkin'.  Maybe get back into some DVDs later today after entry is done.  Maybe Lots Of Things!  ANTIFA?  I DUNNO.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A MOVEMENT BY ITS TITLE.  Somethin about BMs.  Uh oh you add an, "L," to, "BMs," now we got, "BLMs."  Brown Leavings, "Matters,"  Sorry about that.  The point is Being A BLM and Being A ANTI-FASCISM are both great.  Well BLM is all well and good but BEING a BLM? THAT SOUNDS TOO REACTIONARY AND EXTREME TO ME.  Just like being ANTI FA.  I AM ANTI FA BUT I WILL NOT BE AN ANTIFA THAT'S A BRIDGE TOO FAR.  Until you realize That Those Being Those Things often have the same views as you but are just a little bit more enthusiastic.  Again, should not be a contentious political point.  We are Pro-Black-Lives-Mattering and we are Con-Fascism-Existing [and, even worse, thriving/increasing].





I'm Up For Anything

   Well, what do you describe as fascism.  I dunno!  What do you describe as fascism?  Also, what do you define as Mattering when it comes to black lives?  You're not asking that for the moment, even though that's gotta be a spectrum, too!  Maybe you think there's not as much mattering for black lives as should be but you're still getting on the right side of the issue!  So get on the oh right fascism no es bueno side of the issue, too!  The point is I Have Lunch Now!  And I will have Beer #3 or 3 when entry is over.  Gives me something to look forward to!  I dunno where I define Fascism.  Probably a looser definition than some and a tighter definition than others! I've narrowed it down to those two things!
    Great, just great.  Dinner is in about 3.5 hours.  I got that to look forward to, as well!  Plus an entire 4 or 5 days of drinking a moderate amount!  The Fun Never Stops On The Crazysheet Empire!  My favorite thing is when Rice Clumps and you get a forkful of a nice big clump because its solid together it can't break and then you get a nice bite and chew out of that enterprise.  Anyway my parents were food shaming me a few weeks ago because I was eating something with my fingers.  I was just reminded of it because I was just eating some rice with my fingers.  If yuo know a better way to eat non-clumped-up rice when it's down to the dregs, I'd like to hear it!  The good/bad news is I only have 2 Salmon Filets and 1/2 rice left after eating the same thing Just Now.  It's good news because I want another meal but its bad news because I can't have anymore meals after that.  Actually its good/good news.  I dunno if I want more Meals after that of the same kind.
Three paragraphs to go!  Are people still wiping down with disinfecting wipe and then regular wipe Their Groceries?  Or am I, "Behind The Times," and still going through the motions that have long since been abandoned by the rest of polite society.  Also got some Diet Dr. Pepper going.  It's fun because it's Flavorful!  Dr. Pepper would be proud knowing his namesake is going on to entertain and amuse GENERATIONS of soft drink consumers!  Also what's gonna stop anyone from Barry Pepper's family On His Father's Side becoming a doctor?  Nothing, that's what!  Gotta be at least ONE of Barry Pepper's immediate family members who are doctors!  Doctors are that common!  I can only assume Mr. Pepper's real name was Barack Pepper.  Hmm.  Really Makes Ya Think!
    Are there kids named Barack now?  Gotta be, right?  Maybe I'm A Jerk White Guy, but seeing a whole generation of (presumably mostly black) kids named Barack is Gonna Take Some Getting Used To!  I'm ON BOARD with it. 100%!  I just need to GET USED to it, that's the thing.  That tickles me so much I gotta google it and see if it is indeed a thing.  Hmm NOT A THING.  Only a dozen or two each year during and after his presidency.  Gotta be kind of a let down for Barack Obama, right?  Kinda embarrassing that amount!  Certainly Not looking forward to an influx of, "Donalds," though.  I'm sure they'll get what's coming to them, though.  With a name like, "Donald."  The bully will be come the Bull...e... the point is Polite Society will look down upon Generation Beta Donalds.  Don't blame polite society, blame the parents!
Cool!  Anyway entry is almost over.  Another day in the books.  And another Anticipation Of Future Day Which Will Also Include Alcohol!   Wonderful!  So what have we accomplished today.  Well it's been about 2 and a half hours since I Started Entry.  That's Pretty Good!  Talked about thermodynamics, that's educational.  I Learned how to spell/pronounce-exactly anthropomorphic.  See did it on my first try. Well You Can't See It but just take me word for it I Know This Word Hard Core Now!  Bears hibernate for 5 months.  Make sure for sure to not trust wolves.  Ugh.  Anyway I'll see you guys later.

-3:26 P.M.





Wednesday, July 29, 2020

No More Old Titles

   Well, lots more old titles exist.  I just will not be using them in the immediate future!  Anyway the point is Another Day Exists Now.  If we agree that Future Doesn't Exist Yet (WHICH WE DO NOT AGREE) today is pretty important because Now There's An ENTIRE DAY that exists compared to 24 hours ago.  That's pretty impressive Of Universe!  Anyway Man Oh Man am I running out of meals.  But then I saw a Simpsons where a Plot Point was Homer Had To Eat Home Cooked Hot Dogs and I was like OH MY I have home cooked hot dogs!  I mean, Home Hot Dogs Ready To Be Cooked!  So basically I Now Have An Entire Meal because of Simpsons.
    Plot Hole in that episode of Simpsons (Millhouse's Parents get divorced) is that Kirk (The Father Of Millhouse) points out that Lu-ann (Mother Of Millhouse) has no eye brows, but throughout the episode (and the series, at that) she's CONSTANTLY making her expression known through her eye brows.  I feel like Fake Eye Brows shouldn't be so mobile and illustrative of Feelings.  I dunno now that I think about it.  I mean, what are the muscles above your eyes called.  The muscles behind your eye brows.  There's Muscles At Work!  Maybe if you put some Fake Hair on top of the muscles you can sort of convey emotions with Fake Eye Brows.  I've given myself a lot to think about.
    Cool!  Got a 25 Ozer of Beer for today.  Then Re-upping with Super Market for more beer tomorrow!  Got New Phone Charger Of My Very Own and it works!  It's liek Christmas!  No more having to go through my Dad every time I wanna charge my phone.  I can charge phone at my leisure!  Gotta be careful with it, though.  I think the reason I keep Breaking Wire is because when its plugged in, and I wanna unplug it, I just sorta YANK the entire phone.  You'd think no Human would be so stupid to keep doing that regularly and not expect any consequences, but you'd think wrong apparently!  Unless I'm not human.  Pretty sure I'm Human.  All signs seem to signal I am Human.  Anyway looks like Fascism has made a nice key progression in NYC with protesters being kidnapped into Unmarked Vans!  NYSTRONG!  By which I mean congrats to Cecily Strong on her Emmy Nomination As Per Twitter Informed Me.  Are Emmys short for Emeralds.  Seems like an Emerald is a nice Award Prize.  An Emmy sounds weird but earning some Emeralds through Excelling At Television, now we're talkin!  The point is SNL wouldn't let fascism in NYC exist They'd Do Something About It!
    Huh.  Not sure.  SOMEONE's gotta do something about it about fascism exponentially encroaching on our government and/or society. 
I've narrowed it down to Not Me, and now also Not SNL.  Maybe You should do something about it!  Like I said SOMEONE's gotta!  That'd be my impression.  Anyway Lunch'll be 3 Hot Dogs Spread Out Across 2 Pieces Of Bread.  That's 2/3rds a Slice for Each Hot Dog.  I crunched the numbers and This Is The Way To Go.  Dinner?  I dunno!  Maybe enough turkey to have a sandwich.  Maybe enough Bagel to have a Bagel.  I can make eggs again like I did last night!  Lots of good Meal Options.  That's How I Feel today for some reason.  I can't stop Fascism, but I CAN enjoy 2.5 meals a day.  More or less.  Can't enjoy them that much knowing about all the fascism outside.  But I can enjoy 2/3rds of the 2.5 meals even with.. uh... hey lets start the next paragraph.
  Surely SOMEONE can stop fascism.  Anti Fascists?  I dunno I've been hearing bad things about them.  And in all honesty, I don't associate with Anti-Fascism Explicitly.  Only implicitly!  Maybe I should start associating with Anti-Fascism Explicitly, though!  Probably right about the right time to start doing that.  Anyway I feel bad for Kirk Van Houten.  But what can I do about it?  Continue watching Simpsons and hope one day Kirk Van Houten Really Gets His Life Going In A Positive Direction.  I guess we can just wait until Election to get rid of fascists.  If there's one thing I know about Fascism is that its very prone to lose its power based on the presumed results of vaguely semi-Democratic elections.  So we got that to look forward to!  I'll be back in a bit. 




Oh Right Lets Have Fun

   Even Us Antifas have spare time to enjoy!  Fighting Fascism isn't as much of a full time job as you might expect!  Actually lets mix it up.  I am an HaveLeisureTimeToEnjoyMan and in my SPARE time I'm Antifa!  Also I am PRO an F-A chord progression.  True story!  I OFTEN think Hmm F-A (or congruent progression with different notes) I like this more than most people might!  It's a 100% accurate my feelings!  Sometimes FMajor Amajor, but also an Fmajor Aminor is not without its charms!  Anyway last two nights Slept without any Blanketet because Too Hot!  Although I'm sure I've done that a lot Here In This CrapShack, it reminded me of Dorming at NYU because there's no air conditioning there ever.  At least not Freshman Dorm.  And I would lay in the heat oh boy would I.
    Anyway I started Off College on the wrong foot.  I started off LIFE and EVERYTHING on All Sorts Of Wrong Feet.  But anyway there was an Overnight Orientation Day the Summer Before and I had suitemates who clearly had alcohol and were having fun In The Next Room and I was just lying in bed thinking man oh man I wish there was a way I could participate in this!  I know it won't happen but Man If Someone Would Jus Explicitly Invite Me To Participate...  I think Which pretty much was how I felt for most of college.  Most of Life.  That's just my base.  I think that's a good descriptor of where I fall on the introvert/extrovert scale.  I'm a Very, Very Lazy and Very, Very Bad Extrovert.  I dunno.  What else is going on and crap.  I talked to My Father and he was like I guess there's enough turkey for a sandwich for you tonight.  And I was like Thank You Father.  True story!
Cool.  Started #HarryPotterSummerToRemember.  I think these actors and the characters they played were literally about One Year Younger than me, but when the films were coming out, I was like jeez these kids!  Is this what kids are into?  These kid actors lol what do they know.  The younger you are, the more significant relatively tiny differences in age are.  And now that I'm watching it now I realize oh this is my generation almost To A T.  Oh well such is life and whatnot.  Well, For The Actors.  Maybe the target audience skews a few years younger throughout the franchise!  I don't have all the answers!  I only have roughly 80% of the answers!  15% if its just #HarryPotterSummerToRemember Questions!
    Cool.  Maybe have Hot Dog Dinner and Turkey Sandwich Lunch.  I don't have all the answe... oh right I already clarified that.  80% of answers.  15% if its just Harry Potter.  The point is based on protests I think a lot more white people are on board with BLM than they were before.  I think its about time we spread that from being Pro-BLM to being Pro-Anti-Fa.  wait a second Pro-anti Fa.  So they're jus Fa.   I dunno that Word Math DOES NOT Add Up.  A Positive Times A Negative is Still A Negative.  So YES if we are Pro-Anti Fa We Are Still Anti-Fa.  Anyway Yeah Been Drinking Some beer starting with this Section Of Entry.  It's fun!
    Anyway.  I was surprised yesterday when the Gas Station Store which was the 1st place I went to for Cigarettes and alcohol Didn't Sell Beer.  Then I was like, Oh... right... on second thought That Makes A Lot Of Sense.  2) shouldn't drive drunk 1) Gasoline is already flammable you add some alcohol to that suddenly even more flammable there's only so much flammable you can have before a fire starts! 3) not on board with 1) seems kinda stupid.  I'm HALF A YEAR older than Daniel Radcliffe.  ONE AND A HALF years older than Emma Watson (For Whom Emmys were named). SEVERAL MONTHS YOUNGER  than the third one!  Rupus Gint I Better Get It Right This Guy Can Beat Me Up!  Older than me! Well any of them can beat me up.  But that's NOW.  Wait Rupert Grint.  There we go.
My favorite part of the franchise so far is I've seen 18 minutes I dunno we'll see how this shakes out.  If Daniel Jumped Off a Rad Cliff Would You?  Probably.  He's More Plugged In With The Kids These Days if he thinks the cliff is rad who am I to argue!  Ugh.  Oh, right.  I AM An Anti-Fascist.  I feel pretty strongly about this!  If Daniel Radcliffe was Anti-Fascist, would you be?  Well, Yeah!  But I Would Be Either Way.  I thought I made myself clear on this point.  The point is Sure It Shouldn't Be A Contentious Political Statement to say you are anti-fascist, but hey, here we are!  Ya know what, if you REALLY wanna stick it to Antifa, maybe Stop being Fa!  That'll get our goats good!  What chord Progression is F-A that In Terms Of Numbers.  No way to find out!



What Else Is Crappening

   I Hope 1/2 More of What I Already Have Wrote Today!  Also part of the NYU Orientation Equation was that one of my suitemates was a kid from Stuyvesant.  Who I recognized enough to know his name, but other than that didn't know him.  So I dunno if that makes it Better or Worse that I didn't participate.  Part of it is worse because its like JEEZ C'mon what are the odds that of these 3 people I KINDA KNOW ONE.  But part of it is better because Hey What Are The Odds that of these three people I ALREADY HAVE A WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH-- ONE THAT IS DEFINED BY WE HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP.  Already explicitly Nothin' To Go On.  Hard to change that In My 17 Year Old head.  The point is I'm all grown up now and have a 31.5 Year Old Head.  Well if we're Doing .5's, It was a 17.5 Year Old Head back then.  Anyway, jeez, what else is going on and crap.
    Also One-Night-Stand SUITEMATES were having Party, not ROOMmates.  Well, I probably had RoomMate who was Partying With SUITEMates Back Out In The SUITE!  But I was stuck in ROOM. The Suite Life of Zach And COdy.  Oh I Get It-- Because They Live Somewhere.  That's my Hot Take on TV EVEN MORE Younger than Harry Potter than/to/huh Me?  What was going on again?  Oh, right.  What else is going on.  Because they Live In A Hotel.  I See All The Pieces Are Finally Starting To Come Together.  When I was a 1988 DOB Kid there were NO DISNEYCHANNEL good programs.  NOT A ONE.  It was a Nickelodeon Dominated Era!  Maybe the odd show on Here Or There, including ABC which coordinated with Disney!  But anyway the point is THIS IS THE IMPORTANT ISSUES OF THE DAY (Yesterday).
    Anyway.  Nate Silver keeps teasing an Election Projection coming soon to 538.  This is gonna shake things up!  It's like the Heisenberg Principle.  You can't observe something without impacting it.  Key Big Taken-Seriously Polls To Soon Upcoming Elections are but one scenario that illustrates such a principle!  Sure I know Heisenberg Principle IT CAME UP IN ONE OF THE JURASSIC PARKS.  The point is Great What Else Is Going On And Crap.  My prediction for when 538 Model first hits-- ~76-85% odds Biden will win.  Probably gonna have Lunch at some point.  Seems about accurate.  Unless Model doesn't hit until 2021.  In which case I think I'll just stick with Results from 2020 elections.  Except for how they threw out 12% of All Mail In Ballots In The Future.  In which case I'll check out FiveThirtyEight Predictions In Retrospect.
Microsoft FrontPage doesn't recognize Nate as a word.  That hardly seems fair!  I feel like Geff Joldblum really grew up from Jurassic Park I to Jurassic Park II.  He was a sly full of himself Player in Jurassic Park I.  In Jurassic Park II he's much more thoughtful, responsible, model Adult Male.  Meanwhile I feel like Sam Neill REGRESSED from Jurassic Park I to Jurassic Park III.  FEEL IT HARD CORE.  Finishing up my beer for today right about now.  Tomorrow it's onto 1.32x the amount of beer I had today!  Presumably!  Maybe a full 2X!!!!  Hmm wonder if I can go back to NYU when Pandemic is over and Participate In the Suite Life of Suitemates.  Sure they'd be 12 years younger than me, but 130 years from now, 12 years hardly seems significant at all!
    Fascinating.  Last paragraph.  I'm Pro-Fasc-INATING but Anti-Fac-ISM.  Seems like a Flip Flopper To Me!  But then again I'd Be Wrong.  Also I'm Pro-Addition-NATE-ING to Microsoft FrontPage Dictionary Database.  Hardly seems fair to not have it as a word!  Maybe I'll watch Do The Right Thing today.  It's very Hot Outside And In and that's a key Plot Point of that movie.  Also not 100% on board with continuing #ANYSummerToRemembers.  I don't have to so why should I?  I'M Not Joking I'll Watch Some Do The Right Thing.  Feels about right.  The point is I Should Have Been Charging My Phone This Entire Time but I haven't been.   Damnit!  A whole Early Afternoon Gone To Putt.  I'll see you guys later.

-2:28 P.M.




Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Good Ol' Website

   I feel like I used this title roughly five weeks ago.  I could have said four-six weeks ago.  Figured I'd go the, "Extra Mile," and be as specific as I can!  I feel like its much more likely it was five weeks and not four or six weeks.  Anyway the point is Maybe Title Has Been Used but on the other hand I Can't Help It If It Applies Again!  Anyway.  Air Conditioning hasn't been working the last week.  I had a Good, "Idea," to buy Fans.  You know what I mean.  Those things that have blades that whirr and make what its projecting upon cooler.  Often make a soothing annoying sound.  There's lots of options theer!  Big four to six feet fan you stand up on Floor.  Maybe some sort of Desk Fan.  A personal fan you carry around in your hand.  Lots of Good Ideas re: Fans.
    Also the way my household works is I come up with a good idea, we all sort of agree yeah that makes sense and then a week later we're like well might as well take care of that Now.  I blame it on me.  I need to be the driving force!  Someone's gotta take charge.  Especially when it IS my idea.  If it was Mom or Pop's idea then they'd be the driving force and take care of it.  It's my idea?  I can't just suggest it and then its agreed upon and then be like welp see ya!  I gotta dig in there and be like ok fan time lets go get that fan in four to six hours Why Even Put It Off For That let's say four to six MINUTES Let's Get Ready No time like the present. Which is true.  Of All Time, the Present is probably the most Interesting, the most Relevant, and the most Measurable.
    #StarWarsSummerToRemember is DONE.  100%!  Unless you count the TV series.  God DAMN YOU DON'T COUNT THE TV SERIES DO YOU?  PLEASE GOD NO.  Anyway my Mom kind of wants us to get cigarettes for her.  Basically my Dad Drives Me To A Gas Station and then cigarettes are exchanged for money.  Which part of me is like well we shouldn't do that, might as well Keep Quarantine-ing As Much.  But then part of me is like well if we did that I'd be justified in getting TWO 2x Sized Beers!  One for today one for tomorrow!  But on the other hand Yeah I'll just wait until Thursday.  It's not so far away!  It's in one to three days!  Also very limited Food Supply.  Got 4 meals until Thursday.  Maybe if I drank Gas Station Beer that'd satisfy Hunger.
    Also is it kind of weird that Drinking Beverages doesn't satisfy our hunger?  I mean some beverages makes sense.  Water isn't gonna make you UnHungry.  But stuff with Calories.  Calories Is Food!  Energy!  Like, lets say, even just Orange Juice.  It's Food!  Just in liquid form!  I guess it depends on How Much Pulp.  You get half pulp/half juice, CMON THAT'S A LOT OF PULP IT SHOULD SATISFY YOUR HUNGER.  Or those protein drinks.  It's FOOD in liquid form.  I DON'T GET THIS and that's true I feel strongly about this I hope to Google it one day and Really Get To The Bottom of It.
    Wonderful.  Anyway, jeez.  Probably gonna be given the Go-Ahead to open and use Phone Charger tomorrow.  I can't wait!  Boy Oh Boy this time I'm really not gonna twist it out of shape!  I've learned my lessons based on the last 4 times I twisted the the phone charger wire out of shape!  ANYWAY I feel like Soup That's Just Broth can fill you up.  What's the difference.  I hope to get to the bottom of this one day for some reason.  Anyway.  Lunch may be Make 3 Eggs, Have Half Of That, Pair It With Half A Bagel.  Then, if I Crunched The Numbers Correctly, I will have An Equal Meal left over for Tomorrow Lunch!  Also an Equal Meal is a good meal if you're on a diet.  Just pour some Equal Packets into Water.  Now you got Artificial Sweetener Broth!  It's Healthy AND it's good for you.  Huh.  I'll be back in a bit! 




Does Anyone Remember Yesterday

   Well I just went to Gas Station!  PRO-- Got beer.  CON-- Dad is Rightfully Upset About Risk and Rightfully Guilt Tripping Me.  PRO-- Probably Didn't get Coronavirus.  CON-- MAY Have Gotten Coronavirus.  PRO-- got my mom 1.3 Cartons of cigarettes!  CON- Lung Cancer.  PRO- Got 2 25 oz cans of Beer!  CON-- well no Con to that!  I'm Drinking Beer I'm Having Fun It's All Worth It In The End!  CON-- While I was waiting at Crosswalk, heard a Mom and Child Wait Behind Me.  CON (CONtinued) Dad saw this and said they were wearing no masks!  PRO-- I'LL GET THEM GOOD IF I EVER SEE 'EM AGAIN THEY'LL PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID.  CON-- MAY DIE.  PRO-- STILL ALIVE.
Alright lets get into a good head space.  I owe it to myself for Risking My Father and Mother's's Life!  I should have known something was up with this Mother & Son Pedestrian when the Mother was like, to the son, the hand is red we have to wait for the hand to turn white to cross.  First of all- No White, Green.  Second of all-- No Hand, Man.  I was mainly thinking about the Hmm Adults should be familiar that GREEN is Go not White.  And it's a Walking Man not a Beckoning Hand was just secondary.  Anyway It all should work out because Hey So Far Its Worked Out That's A Pretty Good Track Record of It Not Not Working Out.  The good news is My Dad can rest peacefully in his grave knowing he got his family Cigarettes and Beer One More Time.  A very important time!  Without it That Time, why, they might have had to go Some Time without Beer And/Or Cigarettes!
    Ugh.  My Dad really needs an unhealthy addiction-type thing to Even Things Out.  It's jut not fair for him to be like Well I'm Healthy so Anything That Happens Is A Real Net Negative For Me.  Dunno what his Kick could be.  That would be activated by Quarantine-Breaking.  Oh, right... hmm.  Thought If I said Oh, Right... I might think of something.  So far, no such luck!  The good news is The Further This Becomes A Memory Of Shame and not An ACtively-Shameful the less likely anything bad will come of it.  If I forget about it, then nothing'll happen!  It's only when it metastasizes in our memories that it can hurt us, not unlike Frederick Krueger in that film franchise  Home Alone.
Ugh.  I like Judging People for Doing Less To Protect Themselves Than Me and Feel Judged By Poelpe For Doing Less Than They Do To Protect Themselves.  The point is even beyond Us All Doing Everything We Can there's still levels.  It is totally legal for me to go around wearing a mask and just runnin' around and whatnot.  It should be!  But it's still A risk.  We all gotta figure out The Right Level where we can Judge Just As Equally As We Are Judged.  It is in this happy median that only the right amount of people will die.  Huh?  Oh, right.  What else is going on and crap.  Oh, right.  Figure #HarryPotterSummerToRemember is just about ready for Take Off. 
    Anyway, what the what.  Here's a way to Prevent Covid from spreading-- Synchronized Breathing.  When you're around someone else, you take turns breathing!  Hmm.  Not sure if the Science On That One Is Solid.  But It's PRACTICAL is the point.  Besides my Dad being upset re: beer, it was just as eerie with my Mom being TOTALLY ON BOARD on account of I Also Got Her Her Cigarettes.  Predictable, yes.  But actually seeing it in action was just ugh really.  But that's life.  Part of life is death.  I think about that a lot in regards to cigarettes.  Its like making a bargain with death.  Alright I'll shave some years off my life, without exaggeration, but I'll feel Entitled To Feel A Little Big Better Somehow For Some Reason while I'm still around.  And I'm AGAINST that bargain.  I'd rather live to be 80 than 75!  That'sa lotta Elderly Years!   




Must Be In My Head

   Got some lunch going.  We're talkin' Cup O' Noodles + Dinner Roll.  After this entry, gotta finish #JurassicParkSummerToRemember.  Then onto Something New!  The good news is I Just Gotta Wait 3 Weeks to see if one of us gets/dies from Covid-19!  I could do that time standing on my head.  I don't know why I'd want to.  Surely there's more comfortable ways to spend three weeks.  Anyway this Off-Brand Cup O Noodles Tastes Better But There's Less Of It!  Just Like Life with Beer and/or Cigarettes.  Really makes ya think.  Also I only got 4 more paragraphs to go for today.  About 1/4th of 2x Can of Beer.  Which is about 1/2 of 1 can of beer.  Which is 1 of 1/2 cans of beer.  My Dad may day but Every Time I Do Math he lives on through me.
That doesn't sound fair to him.  I'd much rather be alive than live through When My Son Does Math.  Then again maybe if I was A Math Teacher I'd feel differently!  I Dunno!  Dinner'll be maybe some Egg and Bagel.  Something along those lines.  I was partly inspired to eat Cup O Noodles from watching 2/3rds of Ikiru last night.  I always stop after He Dies.  Rest of the movie is a Snooze One Would Imagine!  Even if I Don't Stop, I Start Tuning Out Around Then, so there's no real way to know for sure.  I remember often having the thought, watching Kurosawa films, hey they got some nice Culinary Options in Early-Mid 1900's Japan.  They ain't subsiding on Gruel and Broth.  They got Good Options and Good Quality of Options!
Okay.  I cooked Lunch!  I totally boiled water for about 7-9 minutes until it was boiling!  Also I'm boiling in my house!  Sweating all over the place!  Gotta imagine sweating outside activates Getting and/or Spreading Coronavirus.  Because of Sweat Glands and whatnot.  I don't have all the details but its a decent hypothesis.  Anyway, at crosswalk, I was waiting like 3 minutes, and the light never changed, so I just crossed anyway.  Gotta imagine Mother and Child are STILL There, though, considering they're Still Waiting For A White Hand to give them the Go Signal.  Oh, that's another part of it.  I was waiting there for 30 seconds myself, then 2 minutes or so with them, and then I just left without any Go-Ahead.  If only I had left 2 minutes earlier, I could have avoided all this.  Avoid Covid.  Hmm. 
Penultimate paragraph!  I gotta take a room temperature bath or something.  This is ridiculous.  Anyway have another 2x Beer for tomorrow.  Then Supermarket Beer.  3x Single Beers for 6 out of 7 days.  If  this If this was the kind of math my Dad lived on with me he would be Very Very Disappointed.  Such is life!  There's that heart breaking part in Ikiru where he's thinking back on his life and his Son as a teenager or young adult is playing baseball and gets a hit and Ikiru is SO HAPPY and is like to the fellow spectators hey check that out whatta hit! and and then his son gets picked off trying to steal a base and he's like well my Son is a Failure now Oh Well What Can Ya do.  I might be adding my own perspective onto that scene.  Such is Film.
    Last paragraph!
  Legit Idea for next franchise-- #HomeAloneSummerToRemember.  But maybe only the first Three.  You'd think only the first two, right? But I remember seeing the third one And Yeah It's Worth A Re-watch!  It's the one with that Chumbawamba song.  I get knocked down, then I get up again... which would be a good song if you didn't instinctually associate it with Home Alone III: Back To The Minors.  Anyway what else is going on and crap.  Also Chumbawamba was the original name for Chewbacca but they decided they wanted to have subliminal advertisement for Chewing Bacca Leaves.  Which are a thing I Think Exists for some reason no one is really sure of.  Anyway great another entry in the books.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-4:01 P.M.




Monday, July 27, 2020

Lets Try Something New

   Right!  Hey Great News!  I'll keep you updated on this situation as it progresses.  Hey Great News!  I'm getting Five Progresso Soups that is a legitimate positive fraction of the Great News.  Point is Delivery With Good Super Market on for Thursday Morning.  We made a compromise where we kept our integrity and dignity after Breaking Up With Them over the weekend because of their foolishness.  GOt some discounts, got some credits, all in all Everybody Wins Especially Me This Way I Can Get BBQ Salmon & Beer!  Anyway I had a dream last night I was getting a pack of 19 cans of beer.  That's how they sold it in my dream.  By the 19s.  Now I kinda wanna see that.  People would go nuts!  Imagine the advertising campaigns!  Hmm might remind people of Covid 19.  Maybe that's where MY DREAM came from.  No way of knowing.  I'm not in touch with the Inside-Out-Type-Guy in charge of my dreams.
    Yeah I'm ognna get some GREAT sandwiches.  Some ROAST CHICKEN.  And so on and so forth, the point is Wow What A Great Luxury and Convinience No Foolin'!  Anyway I'm weird because I was on google.com or whatever and at the bottom it said Remembering John Lewis, 1940-2020 and my first reaction wasn't yeah that's too bad about John Lewis, it was, Hmm really great years to have your lifespan on.  Ends in 0's, exact multiples of 20's... Life well lived I guess!  Anyway Great News made some progress and am Almost Done with #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  Rogue One is watched and was pretty good!  Now I'm down to Solo: The Solo Movie, which, before this summer, had been the latest one I had watched.  Back when it debuted.  On TV.  TV on the computer.  Which is my Sequel Band to TV on the Radio.
    I used to confuse TV on the Radio with Gym Class Heroes.  Similar concept.  TV vs Radio is a classic Gym Class Conflict which may involve some sort of heroes on one team depending on who wins this dodge ball game..  Uhh..  Not really figuring out how to convey they're similar concepts.  Except for the fact they are similar because I Confused Them For Some Reason.  Anyway got my Phone Charger today presumably.  They said its been delivered Into My Mail Box.  I can't wait to find out if that's accurate or a Dirty Dirty Lie!  The point is I'm having a hard time figuring out what I'm gonna do for meals before Thursday.  I think I can Eek out some decent meals but I'm cutting it close!  Also EEK is an onomatopoeia.  I don't know EXACTLY WHAT it means but I'm guessing it means something similar to What it Sounds Like.
    Well, great, what else I got going on.  Looking very likely I will resume #FilmFranchisesSummersToKeepRemembering with a #HarryPotterSummerToRemember.  They got all of 'em on HBOMAX.  We're talkin' ALL of them.  Not missing two!  Not missing one!  They even have TWO MOVIES for 1 book!  I can't believe it what a value From My Point Of View Right Now.  If I was paying Theater Tickets it would be a DETRIMENT to value, suddenly I'm paying 2x as much for the Same Amount Of Book.  But now taht I'm not paying anything, I'm getting... uh... I forgot if this rant makes sense or not.  I mean I know it Doesn't Make Sense for the most part, but I forget if it makes any amount of sense.  But such is life!  The question now is Do I Finish #OriginalJurassicParkSummerToRemember with JPIII?  My guess is?  Yeah probably!
    Cool!  Hey take a break after this paragraph.  I Like Those Odds!  I feel like I saw Last Harry Potter: Part II in theaters and it was scary because I feel like The Entire Movie was The Kids out in the Fog and its dark outside.  That's literally all I registered.  Oh they're outside, it's foggy, dark outside... I could be 100% way off from what the movie actually was.  But that's my memory!  Also is his real name Harris Potter.  Or Harold Potter.  Maybe someone should look into this!  Few people are named Harry on their birth certificate.  Then again, few people are Wizards.  So he's challenging all sorts of assumptions about people!  Anyway I'll be back in a bit!




Alright Now Something Old

   Right!  Hey-- some sort of joke involving Trump Supporters, Nazis, and Haircuts re: Pandemic.  There's several moving parts in that Insight (Laugh?)-Em-Up and I charge it to YOU to figure out how to put it together!  Anyway Cup of Coffee #2 of 2!  Lunch'll be Same Lunch as Yesterday which was Briefly In Consideration for Dinner Of Yesterday.  But now it's Lunch today.  People can't get enough of this website!  I think my main impression of Jurassic Park III as a kid was yeah Jurassic Park II makes sense, Jeff Goldblum is charisma he'll make a mediocre film Pretty Great!  And Sam O Neill?  This guy is BORING BLAND!  And now that I'm a bit older, KINDA SCARY.  There's something Off About This Guy and not just because He Was In A Horror (Horrors?) Movie!  WELL MAYBE just because of that.  I dunno.  I stand by that, though.  Something's the matter with Sam O Neill! Mainly incorrectly inserting the, "O," into his name.
Anyway Phone Charger did indeed come in mail but Mother is like nah leave that lying around for 48 hours.  ANd I'm like WHAT IS THIS A NICK NOLTE EDDIE MURPHY VEHICLE?  Except for the last part.  My actual reaction was Yeah, Okay.  I think if Trump loses, they should continue doing Approval Rating polls of him every day.  Just to get Trump's goat.  Every day just send him another mail (THROUGH A REVITALIZED USPS!) and be like yep still stuck at 40.1% approval!  Three out of five Americans Still Not On Board!  The one negative thing about this premise is I Honestly Don't Trust Trump's Ability To Conceptualize Numbers.  40.1 is just a weird ranadom number to him.  He can't put together what it means in regards to him or his approval or whatever.  President of The United States.
Sounds about right!  Alright 2 movies to put Mediocre-From-My-Current-Perspective Summer To Remember Franchises To Bed.  Solo The Han Solo Vehicle.  Jurassic Park III: This Time Raptors are TOO Intelligent.  What else.  Gonna take a break a clean 1/2 way through the entry and come back in a little bit with Lunch!  We're talkin Turkey Sandwich & Beefed Barley Soup.  Then I'm out of Soup until Thursday!  And running out of turkey!  Oh No whatever will I do.  Probably figure somethin' out.  Gotta charge phone with Dad's Supervision with his charger.  He (rightly!) doesn't trust me to do it without starting to twist up his wire.  I've shown time and time again I can't be relied upon to not Entangle A Single Wire Itself Somehow!  Anyway I'll be back in a bit!
    The point is I don't think we should lose sight of actively disapproving of Donald Trump even after his presidency.  Or after his complete withdrawal from public life.  Or after his death.  I think we should be continued to consciously disapprove of him AT LEAST once a week from now on!  At least for the rest of our lives.  Then when the last of us are dead so too can be Donald Trump.  Anyway I didn't start lunch yet.  Figure I'll write 2 or so paragraphs and then do lunch.  Like a Sane Person would divide into time-sections.  Also thinking about having a smaller lunch and having Great Sandwich and Soup for Di... now that I think about it more concisoly and actively I WANT THAT KINDA LUNCH FOR LUNCHNo goin' back now that I've been Primed for a fun lunch!
    Anyway its nice to have some Beer to look forward to.  72 hours or so, that's a good benchmark for being Not Too Much.  My best guess is Jurassic Park III when this entry is dunzo later.  Wonderful.  Yes I Realize continuing to poll Trump's approval after he's not President might Backfire because you'd think the more removed from Destroying Things and Being A National Embarrassment and Destroying Other Things, it'd tick up.  Well, that's a risk we NEED to take.  If we don't poll, then it'll tick up anyway, with no push back!  If we're constantly polled we gotta keep his Disastrousness fresh in our minds, like I said, about once a week!  Anyway I'll be back in a little bit with lunch.




Whatever Feels Right

   Right!  Terrible pun where it's like Zoom is an appropriate medium for Pandemic because its like Co-Vids.  Yeah!  It's almost as insightful as if you didn't know Trump Supporters were Skin Heads until now Now You Really Know!  Cause they're the ones getting haircuts is the point.  Maybe if there was a section IV I'd explain the Co-Vid joke a little bit better.  Anyway what else is going on.  The point is I've NEVER done a co-vid whether its Zoom or FaceTime but I will have to do it several times in August on account of Doctor's Appointments.  I can't get blood work done or anything Real, but if they cancel it altogether they lose customers!  Patients!  Patients are customers.  We consume their medical expertise.  Yeah I got lunch going on what of it.
Jeez.  I know some people wouldn't enjoy Hot Soup on a very Hot & Sweaty Day.  I'm of the school of thought that Hot Soup makes The Rest Of Body feel cooler in comparison to soup.  Anyway.  Starting to get back into Jalepeno Peppers.  I bought SuperMarket Jalepeno Pepper Jars (Think Pickles but Jalepeno Peppers) two or three times and Now I've been... well... yeah... getting back into it... I tried to stretch this into a story somehow but sentence 2 and 3 were just duplicates of sentence 1.  Fascinating.  II figured out a life hack where you can have a bowl of soup on a bigger plate and put sandwich on Other Half of Plate but you put Sandwich on Paper Towel so the Sandwich doesn't get Soggy from Overflow of Soup.  Fascinating.  I'm a little worried about how Greta Thunberg is the authority on Climate Change and Addressing Climate Change.  Because look there's multi-faceted stuff going on.  I dunno if she knows exactly what to do By Herself.  Maybe she's smart enough to delegate the political, civil, and financial details to a Democraticic Group that shares her general goals and ideals.  Sounds about right.  Got my phone charging Right Now.
    Anyway.  Only got about 2/3rds of 1 bottle of Diet Pepsi left for the next 68 hours.
  I can deal with that.  I enjoy water.  But the point is The Countdown To Beer is continuing!  The good thing abuot enoying Sandwich with Jalepeno Peppers With Soup is if a Pepper falls out, instead of repeating over and over putting pepper back on meat, just put it in the soup!  The main negative thing about having to use Father's Phone Charger is at night when I wanna listen to music At Will For However Long I Want, I have to consider portioning it out so phone don't run out of battery   Also the other thing is double-and-triple checking Somehow Porn doesn't just start popping up while phone is in My Dad's general Vicinity.  Rarely happens To Me so I think I should be okay.
Okay!  Also pretty close to finishing up a Tangential #DickVanDykeSummerToRemember.  It's like a Stand-Alone film in the Franchise of #MineSummersToRemembers.  I sometimes check HBOMAX to see if they have Tales From The Crypt, and being upset that they don't have it, even though I can see All Tales From The Crypt For Free On Youtube, because I'm upset for Other People.  Other people might not know to check YouTube for Tales From The Crypt.  They're missing out completely!  It's pretty altruistic is the point and also It'll Feel More Official Watching it on HBO and I love Officiality.  Hey I just finished my lunch.  MAN AM I SWEATY.
What else is going on.  How many more days of the month are there.  July Until Saturday.  Today is Monday.  How about those calculations!   Might re-watch Ikiru especially since I CANT look at my phone right now.  It's a fun movie because I like the movie and then I also like Ben Folds' Hiro's Song and its a similar plot to the song now taht I think about it.  What else is going on and crap.  Nothin.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-3:14 P.M.





Sunday, July 26, 2020

Sometime Entry Decent

   Right!  Anyway I just had 1/20th of a shot of alcohol from an old Rum Bottle that was lying around.  And I was like MAN OH MAN why haven't I been using 5% of drinks As A Single Portion this whole time?!  It gives you, legit, a Slight Kick!  At the very least I should be doing .25 Of Shots at once!  That way I'm... uh... well the point is I'd Like To Drink Some Alcohol.  No good options though!  Probably will be able to by the end of Upcoming Week.  So, great.  Anyway a lot of worry about Trump People Gutting the USPS from the inside.  My idea is for the USPS to Buy Back some expensive stamps.  Like how corporations Buy Back Stock.  In y very limited understanding of economics Postal Service should have a massice spending spree getting back Quality Stamps and then THEY'RE in control.
    Is it a premise of privatizing the postal service where they could like have Different Tiers Of Stamps?  Like Amazon Prime or something.  But just for Stamps! Also is it possible to re-use stamps?  Seems like if you had some Catch-Me-If-You-Can Forgery tools and skills you'd be able to re-use a stamp you just got.  So the point is the only way to Save the Postal Service from THE OUTSIDE IN is to start re-using stamps.  It's a form of protest.  We ain't buying new stamps until you start running the USPS up to OUR Standards!  The point is the last two paragraphs show a very, very limited understanding of Well Pretty Much Everything.  Also we ain't using the Corporate alternatives to USPS.  In fact we're gonna use USPS EVEN MORE I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT IS.  Wait that's the opposite of the first idea.  The point is Trump needs to lose and Biden needs to Rescue the USPS.  Seems like a good bi-partisan issue to raise before Election.  People like The Postal Service!  Even if their best song is just a cover of Iron & Wine!
    Sure I Know Iron & Wine.  I had One Iron & Wine Song on my iTunes in the late 2000's!  Music Aficionado!  iTunes was fun.  You get to organize music in a real fun individualistic way.  Make your own Playlists!  Check out your, "Top 25," Listened To Songs and watch how it changes day by day.  SHUFFLE.  Anyway those 3 things, right, fine, what else is going on.  Oh, right.  As a musician Making Mp3s its a ton of fun to play around on iTunes imagining different titles and organizations of titles and all that crap.  Makes it Fun and Easy And EFFICIENT.  Anyway lunch today gonna be some Turkey Sandwich with some Beef Barley Soup.  I had a Beef Barley Standard Soup with dinner last night and it was Fine!  Not gross like Chicken Noodle Soup.  Not as GREAT as a Hearty Beef Barley but Still Positive.
    Anyway, jeez.  Biden (presumably) would want to make USPS Cheaper, More Efficient, and More Reliable.  Trump is on the opposite side of All Of That (to the extent that he personally understands or cares about the issue at all).  Seems like a Slam Dunk.  It's like the evergreen Infrastructure issue that's bipartisan but never materializes, but this time one side is AGAINST infrastructure.  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.  Anyway I dunno.  Gonna eat lunch in about an hour!  This much I am comfortable making a prediction about, a prediction that I feel is a solid 75% chance of being accurate!  Man if I just had HALF a shot of alcohol laying around somewhere I could have TEN DRINKS.  That's how Math works! 
    Gin Rummy?  Make up your mind!  That's like saying Vodka Tequilia.  Or Whiskey ... uh... Brandy.  That sounds about right.  Is it safe to have 2+ alcohol spirits in the same drink?  Or is it like Crossing The Streams in Ghostbuster Climax.  Hmm.  Ghost busters.  Spirits.  Crossing The Road.  Where Am I again.  Also Yes I am sure there are many very common concoctions of multiple spirits.  Like when Exorcist was Possessed and she was like we're all in here Professor Priest, would you like to say hello to your mother.  Personally I think That Was A Scam.  That Possessed girl KNOWS Dr. Priest's Mother isn't in there she's just trying to Scam Him.  That'd be my guess tat least.
    Does anyone watch The Exorcist, from beginning to end, and is like, Well that's a good mystery I guess we'll Never Know if shewas Truly Possessed or not! Real Taught Psychological Thriller with the truth left open-ended.  C'mon!  Anyway probably be havin' lunch for next section of entry.  Probably lots of things!  I was thinking about things and I wanna get back into Music but on the other hand That Sounds Like Work and I am Anti-Work.  By which I mean I want to Now START using Antebellum in my Band Name.  The Upper Antebellums.  You don't let some Hot Word Property Like That go unused!  It's simple economics or something.  I forget what this paragraph was about.  Oh, people who think it's open ended on whether Reagan was possessed.  That's right President Ronald Reagan.  Possessed by the devil!  Could Be!


Not Very Often

   How come no one is ever possessed by angels.  HOLY CRAP THIS 12 YEAR OLD GIRL IS GOING AROUND BLESSING PEOPLE PERFORMING MIRACLES WHILE NOT EVEN CONSCIOUS! ...I  I dunno?  What else do angels do.  Good Stuff.  First thing that comes to mind of What Angels Do is when statues of Virgin Mary or something start crying.  1) angels don't do that.  2)stop making her cry we should try to cheer her up!  3)Angels as far as I can tell are to help baseball players Specifically In The Outfield.  So basically this 12 year olf Angel girl is signed to the major leagues and is good at baseball for 3 hours and then when the game is over she's like Whaaa.. huh... what just happened?!?!  And then Danny Glover is like you went 2-3 with a double.
    I guess.  For lunch, we're talkin' Turkey & Jalepeno Peppers on White Bread and Some Standard Beef Barley soup.  We're talkin' I could have options for beer before Supermarket Delivery but I don't feel like arguing.  On the other hand, I also don't feel like Not Being Buzzed.  Which was the Minor League Team Name in Major League III: Back To The Minors: Which In Retrospect Makes The Original Title Totally Inaccurate.  I know there's been a lot of talk lately about how TV and Films portray Police as Good hearted goof balls always trying to do the right thing.  Well I fear they've made the same mistake with baseball players.  In reality these guys are MONSTERS.  Unless it's one of the rare Basketball movies.  Then they're PLAYING the  Mon-stars.
    Anyway.  What else.  About 1/3rd into Jurassic Park: The Lost World: Now We Found It Again, and its more straightforward Action movie.  Here's how I think that movie went down-- Hey Steven we're gonna make another Jurassic Park movie it's just too profitable to not do it.  And he's like fine well leave me out of it I got better things to do than mediocre sequels.  And then they go behind closed doors for 20 minutes and Steven is like Well looks I'm on board for some reason no one is really sure of.  The point is I finished the sandwich before the soup and some Jalepeno Peppers survived so now I dumped them into the soup.  I'm some kind of genius I guess.
    Cool!  I've been wondering for days how much Hearty Beef Barley Soup costs Vs. Non Hearty.  LMLTURQ.  WHAT THE HELL HEARTY BEEF BARLEY IS 10 CENTS CHEAPER.  This is the Scandal Of The Century!  I refuse to believe this.  This must be an outlier.  An aberration.  I can't accept this is universal.  Which is what I say after watching Every Movie on Peacock.  Universal Studios movies.  That's why its on NBC-UNIVERSAL-PEACOCK.  Constantly being like I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS IS UNIVERSAL.  Glad I cleared that up By Repeating It Again In Very Similar Language.  The good news is I wasn't so far off estimating the price of One Beef Barley Can.  I aimed at around $1.29, it was, in this one place, $1.69.  AMAZING!
    I guess.  In addition to the ongoing Film Franchises Summer To Remembers, I'm gonna have to come up with a replacement sitcom for Dyke Van Dick.  So I'll give some thought to that I guess.  Gotta think about something.  Anyway.  Best guess is Re-upping with alcohol ~Friday.  You know what that means! ~Friday.  Which is the Spin-off Stand Alone Film in the Friday Franchise that's only tangentially about the main crux of Fridays: The Film Franchises.  So, yeah, that's, what' Five Days?  Ugh.  Well, great.  Finish this paragraph.  Write Section III of entry in a little bit.  I'll be back in a minute!  Colloquially, at least!



I'll Survive

   Up until I don't.  Anyway time for Phase III of entry: The Third Phase. Is it possible I clean up microwave for the first time in 10 years based on my Mom's instruction?  Yeah!  Will I?  Probably at some point!  Will it be today?  Probably Not!  The point is I Gotta Do All The Adult Chores I Can Do to justify All The Alcohol I Can Potentially Get.  It's a real Thirty Year old man's dilemma.  I think Dioramas are fun for EVERYONE involved.  It's like yes drawing pictures is great when you're in third great-- but get a load of this escalation-- we want YOU yes YOU AN EIGHT YEAR OLD to make a THREE-D REPRESENTATION OF WHATEVER.  IT's YOUR DIORAMOA HAVE FUN WITH IT.
By which I actually mean hey dioramas are great maybe your parents would like to make one for you.  Which, I dunno, maybe they DO think it'll be great for your parents.  Otherwise, why assign it at all.  How come there's no Diorama Artistry.  There's 2-D artists.  There's conceptual artists which Can Be in 3-D.  But there's no just, like, 3-D paintings.  Well I'm sure there are.  The point is this premise is very shaky and I only made it two sentences into it before it started falling apart.  Anyway.  I was taking a bath.  "Taking a bath," on something means like you're losing money or something, right?  What's wrong with Taking A Bath.  It's fun.  Usually you're doing it on your own volition.  It has nothing to do with finances or investments or money.  Leave Taking A Bath alone!  Is it cause in the past baths were SO EXPENSIVE that just Taking One Bath set you back a considerable amount of $$$?  Who knows not me.
Great!  Decent chance I'll just have the exact same dinner as I had lunch.  I'm, "Okay," with that.  It was a good lunch!  On second thought, I'd Like to have a different Supper!  But there's only so many options.  If we ain't having a communist supper (wouldn't it be nice to have communist Supers, though?  Per: Eviction Crisis!) I can Make Mysefl Some Eggs: The Meal I Haven't' Done In Months But Is Fun!  I remember mixing in some hot sauce Into The Mix.  The Egg Mix.  What is now The Egg & Hot Sauce Mix.  Re: USPS, if you get a TrampStamp, that should be life a lifetime pass for the postal service.  No need for any more stamps!  I feel like TrampStamps aren't a thing anymore.  They were in the 2000's.  As per my understanding.  Trump Stumps.  Tramp Stamps are when women tattoo their lower back/above the ass.  Trump Stumps are the very small cocks of Trump Supporters.  They didn't even need to have anything done, they just came into the world with a Trump Stump and they'll leave the world with a Trump Stump.
    Sure It's, "PC," to body shame people If They Disagree With Me Politically!
  To be fair its beyond disagreeing with me politically.  I think we can agree On This Website if You're a Trump Stumper there's gotta be like a 90, 95% chance Body Shaming you is somewhat, vaguely appropriate.  Anything that'll hurt your feelings!  Body shaming isn't IDEAL but if it'll make ya feel bad I Guess It's Doing It's Job.  Hah. Tramp Stamp.  Trump Stump.  I figure if I didn't Absent Mindedly, "Riff," on that for 2 paragraphs it would have been a nice, fun throwaway.  Oh well Mistakes Were Made no going back now!
    Great, last paragraph.  I can, "Dig," that.  Anyway.  Election Day is in 100 days per my understanding.  Wonder if that's a decent over/under for Me Personally Being Able To Lift Quarantine For Me Personally And My Family Tangentially.  Sounds like a good In-The-Middle guess.  The point is Great Just Great.  Iron & Wine sounds like a nice classy dinner.  I think Steak is high in Iron.  Wine is high in Wine.  Nice Steak and wine.  Or maybe its a new spin off Iron and Whine.  Where Iron is Iron Man is the hero we all know and love and his side kick is a kid who complains all the time about things.  The point is another entry in the books.  I'll see ya tomorrow presumably!

-4:07 P.M.   




Saturday, July 25, 2020

What Are You Doing

   That sounds like fun.  Anyway Pun time-- Jurassic Five is the alt title to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.  Anyway explanation of Pun time-- Jurassic Five was (is?) a Rap Group.  Anyway about 30-40 minutes into Jurassic One this time around.  My favorite parts are the first 20-30 minutes before Jurassic Park shows up because its on one hand the least memorable part of the movie, so watching it isn't as boring as the rest.   But also, its nostalgic because it IS memorable when you've watched it on VHS several dozen times.  That guy falls off Putting a Raptor in the cage!  We see the raptor Eyes.  Velocio Rapper is a GREAT TERRIBLE name for a rapper.  Speed is important factor in a lot of rappers.  Velocio means speed.  The point is someone should pay me for coming up with Velocio Rapper.
    Hmm more puns about Rappers and Veliocorapters as seen in Jurassic Park: The Major Motion Franchise.  Well, that counts as More.  I said In Italics there should be some more and YOU get to fill in the blanks!  Anyway, jeez.  Phone stopped charging.  Because fo the charger.  Not the phone!  That phrasing insinuated the wrong thing.  The phone didn't stop charging.  The charger-wire stopped charging.  But the good news is Now I Get To Spend more time Away From My Phone and With My Family.  I think it's Great that B.D. Wong is in both Jurassic Park and Jurassic World.  I know him as Priest from Oz.  You may know him as Soe Other Stuff I Dunno I'm not 100% on this guys oeuvre. 
    Fascinating.  So yeah its a bummer not to have beer but I'll Survive Presumably.  I'd put 10 to 1 odds on Me Surviving.  Anyway, yesterday my Dad was like I Passed My Covid Test and I was like WAIT WHAAT YOU TOOK COVID TEST AND YOU PASSED?  IS THAT A SYNONYM OF SAYING POSITIVE?  WHEN U TAKE THIS TEST.  And he was like No I Passed the online course that I had to take in case I ever wanna teach in a live classroom with Covid going around.  And I was like DAMNIT I WAS HOPING YOU TOOK THE TEST AND WAS NEGATIVE.  If he took the test and was positive that's even worse!  But negative test is better than positive academic test.  Interesting, very interesting.
Anyway I was listening to a bit of my Dad teaching last week and for some reason he was talking about the initials SSA and he was like an easy way to remember it is, I'm not gonna say it in polite company, but if you spell it backwards, its a bad word, but it might help you remember.  That's as close as he gets to being offensive.  Which is closer than some people I guess!  Anything even resembling being offensive is more than a lot of teachers!  The point is now you know his secret shame of how he teaches by Using Profanity.  Oh well what can ya do.  Also remember these are community college students.  18+.  I think they can stomach reading ASS backwards.  Lol Ass Backwards.  That's a phrase and my Dad didn't even realize it.  Looks like the student has become the Even BETTER student To His Father.
    Well, great.  My Dad would be proud of me.  Presumably.  Now I feel all warm inside.  Anyway gotta have that sushi for  lunch today.  Only thing That Must Be Eaten As Soon As Possible!  So I got that going for me is the point.  My Dad would be proud of me.  Honestly that's a more accurate description of whether my Dad will or will not be proud of me. Ass Backwards, he can take it or leave it.  Maybe even leave it.  Me eating what's not gonna stay fresh forever?  Now we're talking GREAT Son.  I think I just realized the problem I have with Jurassic World other than It Not Being As Good.  Look, Jurassic Park was a park.  We can all agree on that.  Jurassic World?  Maybe 4 or 5 films in it might be a Jurassic World.  But for now it's just a Jurassic Park and a little pocket of the mainland in Episode V. We are solidly NOT in a Jurassic WORLD as of yet!  Be back in a bit.




Wrong Again

   The good news is I'm working my way back around to a #TalesFromTheCryptSummerToRemember.  I'm also having Sushi + a Bread.  That's other good news!  I'm full of good news!  Like That, and this, and more stuff, presumably.  Hey ALTERNATE local Supermarket delivery Does Sell Beer!  So basically In a few days to a week I can have beer.  Which is good because I got nothin' else to do.  I can have nightmares when I'm asleep and daymares when I'm awake.  I can eat all the meals my little heart desires (But remember my little heart is cognitive of the fact that I shouldn't eat too many little... mea... well when you put it that way LITTLE meals sound okay no matter how many of them there are...
    BD WONG.  I feel like he shws up in some sort of Hospital Nighttime Soap Opera.  I'll look that one up right quick.  I Was Right!  He has been on shows.  I was wrong about Night Time Hospital Soap Operas.  I was thinking about Night Time Crime Procedural Soap Episode-Contained Operas.  Also tip for parents-- if your kid says a bad word, "What's SSA Backwards?" instead of feeding them soap Make Em Watch An Soap Opera.  In Completion!  They don't get sick, they have an even worse time, but then you and them get to experience Culture At Its Finest.  Wait I'm confusing Operas with Soap Operas  Anyway.  Is Is there Currently or will there be any Future Thing where its like well people were into this culturally for a while, we know that much, and people still DO IT for some reason... but really who is getting anything out of this.  Sports maybe.  Then we cycle back aroung to operas once sports are gone.  Then cycle back to sports.  Great I just Cracked Culture Migrations.
I dunno.  Finished some lunch.  It was fun.  Dinner may or may not be a Bagel with what may or may not be cream cheese if not what may be butter.  I like the idea of BD Wong being the main (only?) casting link from Jurassic Park to Jurassic World.  Because he's basically just an extra.  He has like 3-5 lines of dialogue but before I saw Oz Or Late Night Procedural Crime Soap Opera I wouldn't have remembered him at all.  Sure I spent 8 seconds trying to think of an ITS LIKE IF...  but I decided that was too difficult!  I've got better things to do.  Like go on a #BDWongBingeSummerToRemember.  Anyway BD WONG has run the gamut of All Your Classic Roles.  Priest, Policeman, and Dinosaur Man.  Yeah.  Sure.  Sounds about right.
Anyway.  After this section of Entry back to Jurassic Park.  Also has anyone done the research on if All Dinosaurs in Jurassic Park are accurately from the Jurassic Period?  There were several Periods of dinosaurs.  I'm betting not all of these are from Jurassic Period!  LMLTURQ.  NOPE most of them are from the Crustaceous Period which is what Pauly, "The Weasel," Shore uses to describe... uhh... "Crusty," and some word ending with, "Acious..."  Both terms Pauly, "The Weasal," Shore would use so why not a portmanteau.  Feelin a bit Crustacious Buddddy.   The point is America is VERY ready for An, "The Weasel," Reboot.  I know we're getting Bill and Ted.  But that's secondary to a Pauly Shore.  I think all reasonable people could agree on that. 
    Fascinating.  Hey, great, what else is going on.  Is it possible they used a crustaceous pun in the first draft of Encino Man before concluding people are presumably smart enough to separate the Human Ice Age 10,000 years ago from Dinosaur Age 100 million years ago. 
So basically they decided to give the audience Too Much Credit for a Pauly Shore movie.  Anyway.  Jeez.  Crusty is probably 90% definitely a negative thing unless he's like this croissant is pretty crustaceous (Buddy).  Well, great.  I'll be back in a little bit.




Now You Tell Me

   That sounds like a title I've used before.  Too bad there's no way of looking that up without the motivation to actually spend 20 seconds on it.  Anyway Dinner Probs gonna be a Smart Ones: The Frozen Meals if we ain't doing anything communal.  The point is In Politics I'm a Progressive-Center-Leftistist but in Dinners I am a Communist.  We should all share a dinner it's fun its PRODUCTIVE and ITS FAIR.  Also we can grow our own dinner in our Communes.  So some of us will have All Oats, All The Time for dinner, while others will have Butcher Cutlery for each meal.  Not actual meat.  Just the action of butchers producing meat from animals.  We get to Eat That Somehow.  Anyway just had an Entenmanns: The Chocolate (Frosted?) Donut.  I had half of it 2 hours ago I had the other half less than 2 hours ago more like Right Around Now. 
    Well, great.
  I like Jurassic Park because it is either No Genre At All or All Genre At once.  It can bee seen as a Horror movie in the tradition of Jaws: The Major Motion Picture, it can be seen as a kids movie in the tradition of Hey Kids Like Dinosaurs... Sci-Fi, obviously, It's got some laughs in it, good drama.  The point is Jurassic Park is a nearly perfect movie?  And it's groundbreaking in terms of letting us know that Dinosaurs are being cloned somewhere and its only a matter of time we see Jurassic Park in real world.  Or Jurassic World in Real Park.  The point is It Just Is as a movie.  And I Like That!
  Hey this is a great time to test my Meal Idea of having TWO Smart Ones: The Frozen Meals We Already Covered This at once!  Boy oh boy.  I'll think about it.  I'm gonna be honest, the first season of Dick Van Dyke was pretty good, but then it sorta just settled into a more predictable formula.  Maybe it always was and it just seemed new and interesting to me the first 2 dozen episodes.  I don't have all the answers!  Its still worth watching but I'm not, "Blowing My Beans," over it.  You know, "Cooling My Freezer?"  I'm not, "Gouging Out My Eyeballs," is the point.  I think at this point I should just declare officially I AM DONE WITH #STARWARSSUMMERTOREMEMBER.  I don't wanna watch those last two One-Off Star Wars.  Might as well put that to rest EXPLICITLY otherwise it just hangs in the air like a phrase like, "Blowing One's Beans."
    Why is Boston called Beantown.  Do they just really like beans in boston.  Is it because the words are Kind of? similar.  Bos (ton).. BoS... BeanS.  Maybe there's a Bean Hill or something.  I feel like that was a battle in the Revolutionary War.  The Clash Over Bean Hill.  Is Boston Beans a kind of beans?  That might be it.  LMLTURQ.  YEP Boston Baked Beans.  And here my first hypothesis was THERE'S A, "B," AND AN, "S," IN BOTH WORDS THAT CAN'T JUST BE A COINCIDENCE THAT'S GOTTA BE IT!  Well the point is I put this debate to rest and now we all have a little bit more knowledge than we did going into this paragraph.  I think they're STILL CALLED Boston Baked Beans.  This is relatively common knowledge.  Yeah I guess.  Well there it is.  Evidence of my ignorance and stupidity.  Which, again, is also relatively common knowledge, but There It Is, the evidence of the evidence.  I feel like you should be able to get alcohol from baked beans.  Alright I Get It There's Many Evidences Of My Dumbness.
Well, great, another entry in the books almost.  The piont is it's been a while since I've had the non-Hearty Beef Barley and I think it's back on the Gross Spectrum that the rest of the Progresso Soups settled in.  Still gotta chance of being Okay, though.  So that's another thing to consider.  For me.  You shouldn't be considering it.  You are many levels removed from having to show consideration as to what my meals and soups will and won't be.  Oh Hey I think DisneyPlus has an #XMenSummerToRemember.  I'll look into that at some point I guess.  Readin' an illiterate's signature... "Who here is an ,'X,' Man?" ... and then the guy is like, "I THINK THAT'S GOTTA BE ME!"  He's not even sure though cause What's an 'x' to him after all?  But also
this riff makes absolutely no sense and provides absolutely nothing to the Internet Discourse.  So, great.  I'll see ya tomorrow.




Friday, July 24, 2020

I Found Some Titles

   That's true!  Old, old titles From Years Ago!  But That's All In The Past Now!  Now we're in the present.  Or maybe the future.  Definitely not the past, though!  I feel 40% certain on this point of contention.  Anyway CON: I've been waiting All Day for Super Marketed Delivery to arrive!  Waitin' for 5 or 6 hours and NOTHIN'.  PRO: After waiting hours after I wantd to have lunch from Super Marketer, I  settled on a Hot Pocket.  Continuation of That Pro: Tried it with Hot Sauce which hasn't been used in 2 months And It's GreaT!  Con: I wasn't writing Entry because the whole time Delivery Could Come at any moment.  Pro:  It HOPEFULLY is coming sometime around 4:30-5:00.  PRO/CON:  If my anticipation Plan is 3 beers 6 out of the 7 days of the weeks, I could use this as the One By Day.  Or I could have my Beers at a reasonable Evening time.  The point is I'm gonna hopefully finish Section 1 of Entry and then have 2nd section before dinner and third section AFTER DINNER!  OH BOY IT'S A REAL MIXEM UP AT THE QARNOONMUSBLUM HOUSE.  Uh oh I just cracked that code.  You go through your whole life thinking you're, "Not Q," but then one day your faith in that premise IS SHATTERED.
    I considered taking the day off from entry.  But then I considered NOT doing that.  And I considered that More and More Better So Here I Am!  Look the point is when you make a hot pocket, particularly in the microwave, when you start taking bites and/or cutting it up with cutlery, you expect A Good Amount of Spillover.  But you wanna get Some Substance.  Not just cheese spilling out.  You want SOME OF THE MEATS OR VEGETABLES.  Today?  ALL CHEESE AND NOW EVEN GOOD RELATIVELY HARD CHEESE WE'RE TALKING JUST LIKE LIQUIDY CHEESE.  I WASTED MY DAY BECAUSE OF THIS?  That hardly seems fair.  Or accurate!  This has nothing to do with Why I Wasted My Day.
    The point is PRO: Got to re-watch Thirteen Ghosts, The Tony Shaloub Vehicle.  I dunno I can't get over this, this was PHILLY CHEESE STEAK Hot Pocket.  I want SOME small Pellets of Philadelphia Steak in the Overflow.  Or Flowover.  I feel like Flowover SHOULD also be a word meaning the same thing as Overflow but Dictionary recognizes both.  I'll start a petition about that to somebody once I find out who cares.  What are people's thoughts on Philly Cheese Steak.  Hmm just got a STRANGE De Ja Vu right now.  Asking on website, What are people's thoughts on Philly Cheese Steak."  And I was like WAIT I THINK THIS HAPPENED BEFORE UH OH.
I wanna know if there's anyone whose REALLY GOOD at De ja vu.  I mean, for most of us, it's several seconds.  For me, I can have it last as long as 15-20 seconds.  Are there people out there who just have HOUR LONG De Ja Vu?  And I mean CLINICALLY DE JA VU not some fake facsimile   And It's because he's always one step ahead of (Behind) himself.  The feeling hits, he reacts, he reacts to that, he reacts to that, the point is This Guy Knows Himself And How He Will React To This Exact Moment In Time Better than anyone can even imagine!  My My lunch was gonna be BBQ Salmon with some potatoes.  Dinner was gonna be Communal Roast Chicken with, I guess, more potatoes.  I'm banking on Still Doing Chicken but if My Parents want to, "Use the Nuclear Option," and, "Filibuster," it I can go back to Salmon.  Also Roast Chicken should ideally be in the oven, but because it's warm in the kitchen, and my parents don't wanna Add To That Warmth my parents want to use the, "Nuclear Option," and use the microwave.  True story! Probably what gave me the instinct to make that weird Nuclear Option/Filibuster Joke in the first place!
    The point is my parents are very cold people and can't stand any showing or incarnation of Warmth.
  Hey that kinds sounds like another true story how about that!  Hey I just knocked out 4 paragraphs in 15 minutes or so.  I can't wait to knock out one more paragraph Just For Kicks this time around.  Well for Multiple of Fives.  Multiples of Fives give me kicks.  You too.  That's just how soccer works.  I assume each team has 5 Kick-a-rounders on the field at any given time.  I'll LTURQ!  ELEVEN?  WHAT THE HELL.  THAT MEANS WHEN 5 TEAMS PLAY EACH OTHER AT ONCE YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO BELIEVE THERE'S 55 PLAYERS ON THE FIELD AT THE SAME TIME?  Anyway, honest idea-- there's none (or very few) major sports where there's more than 2 teams competing in the same game.  Seems like there should be sports where that could be applied right?  Seems like I'm onto some thing there!  Lemme mail it to myself and then never open it but then open it too soon because I forgot what was in it.  The point is Hey bonus paragraph comin' up.
Well, great.  Starting to look like I'm getting bored of #DickVanDykesSummerToRemember.  Also now it's His Possessively.  It's not A Dick Van Dyke Summer to Remember.  Now it's DICK VAN DYKE'S SUMMER TO REMEMBER!  The point is when the Hell am I gonna finish the #StarWarsSummerToRemember.  Ya know what I really need to remember, thuogh?  #ReturnOfTheHotSaucesSummerToRemember.  The point is its not funny but it serves a purpose because now I'll never forget!  Until the fall.  Or, Autumn.  And by then I'll be all tuckered out from all that hot sauce anyway.  I'll be back in a little bit with more entry.  In the mean time, I'm gonna do some bullshit!  Non website bullshit!  See ya later!

-4:05 P.M.



I Wouldn't Worry

   That's true!  Anyway Now its Later In The Day.  One might call it, "evening."  Others may call it Later In The Day-- People Like Me-- Try To Keep Up!  Anyway CON: Supermarket Order was a Complete Clunker.  We're talkin they never showed up, we had to call them half a dozen times over the day, then finally they're like nah we ain't stopping by and we were like BUT YOU HAVE TO I HAVE A FAMILY T FEED IN FACT I AM A FAMILY TO FEED.  So the point is We MAY have burned all our bridges at Fresh Direct but the good news is we put together a quick order From Some Other, Lesser Supermarkter where I CAN'T GET BEER or Meatloaf or Roasted Chicken OR ANYTHING Of What You Really Want.  PRO: Found I can Have a #JurassicParkSummerToRemember on PeacockTV.  Hah Peacock.  It's funny because it makes you think.  I like naming Services based on corporate logos.  It's like if you called Music Television MTV.  Same basic principle.
    PRO: I had the 2nd of 2 Hot Pockets I had for dinner and doused this one with hot sauce again!  AND IT WAS FINE.  Pro: Without beer, but WITH Jurassic Park, and with an early dinner, and WITH Wanna Let Off Some Steam, I was like alright gonna watch some YOUR ASS IS PARK with the aid of Popped Corn!  So now I got a lot going for me is the point.   Do we go back to Fresh Direct, on our knees, begging to be taken back?  Its an abusive relationship But They Only Got Abusive That One Time!  By abusive I mean WE ARE A FAMILY IN NEED OF SUSTENANCE YOU RUINED OUR CHANCES OF EATING TODAY and THAT'S NOT COOL.  Especially since I I AM THE CHILD IN THIS SCENARIO in whom the adults in my family Must Take Care Of.  More or less.  That's accurate.
    The point is its led to me re-examine long held political beliefs.
  When George W Bush said He Wanted To Put Food On Our Families NOW I SUDDENLY GET IT.  Also it's led to me re-examing Current Political Beliefs like ya know what TRUMP IS CAUSING THIS KIND OF STRESS TO TENS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN MUCH WORSE SHAPE THAN MY FAMILY AND EVEN MORE LIMITED RESOURCES AND OPTIONS.  That's the joke.  Tens of millions of people.  DIRECTLY DUE to his incompetence and dereliction of duty re:Coronavirus.  That's not even counting the tens of millions of people who have otherwise been negatively effected by other crap.  The point is YES I HAVE POPPING CORN FOR A DINNER PART II IF YOU WILL BUT I'M ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES!
See, yeah, sure, great.  Hmm.  Wisconsin.  That's like Sinning by whizzing in Spanish.  I'll figure that out one day and why it happened Just Right Now. Oh right looking at BATTLE GROUND Polls.  Also the point is SURE I want to go back on our knees to Fresh Direct because its my best option for Alcohol but then again FUCK THOSE GUYS.  We called them 4 times throughout the day and kept being told oh its on its way, it'll be there in an hour.  And then by Evening (Late In The Day) they were just like oh its not being delivered today, we tried to contact you but you didn't pick up.  WHICH WAS LIES A WHOLE PACK OF LIES DON'T GIVE ME LIES I CAN'T FEED MY Family WITH YOUR LIES NOW CAN I IF I COULD I'D PROBABLY BE LYING MYSELF BECAUSE YOU.  CAN'T.  EAT.  LIES.
    LOL I just remembered I can add Hot Sauce to lots of stuff.  It's a real 2 steps forward, 1 step back.  Goin to Rough It Up culinary-ily speaking, back to the basics.  So that's fun!  Back in All-Out Quarantine Mode!  No fancy Roasted Chickens.  No fancy POTATO SPHERES.  No fancy HEARTY BEEF BARLEY.  Just REGULAR NON HEARTY BEEF BARLEY.  Hey 5th paragraph of this section.  Figure I'll Pop Into Some Jurassic Park when this is done, and 1/3rd or 1/2 into that, start up some Popper Corns, finish this entry with another 5 paragraphs, and then re-evaluate if life is worth living.  I'm gonna say YES.  I still have a lot of Good Food Options over the next few days and Hot Sauce Is Good Again. I'll see ya in a bit!

-8:20 P.M. 



Finally Some Alone Time

   That's true!  Old, old titles From Years Ago!  Anyway.  CON-- Gotta finish the entry.  PRO-- Gotta finish the entry! I watched 8.5 minutes of Jurassic Park and was like I CANT RELAX KNOWING THERE'S 10 PARAGRAPHS OUT THERE EPHEMERALLY.  The point is I use the word ephemeral a lot and I'm always about 25-33% off from its accurate definition.  I feel like I'm in the ballpark most of the time but I'm not quite making contact (baseball reference).  Hey first section was actually SIX paragraphs.  Which means I couldn't be held legally responsible if this section is ONLY four paragraphs.  So we'll see how that one turns out and whatnot.  Great, just great.  What kinda nonsense is Non Hearty Beef Barley.  Are there unfortunates who are like hmm Beef Barley, ~1.29$ a can... Hearty Beef Barley, ~1.39% a can... Guess In Order For My Family To Not Go Hungry Gonn Have To Go Without The Hearty Beef Barley.  Lotta slant rhyme in that. Whoooole lotta slant rhyme.  The point is that sentence is proof I missed my calling as a Battle Rapper.
    Gotta assume Battle Rappers are receiving some sort of stimulus/bail out, right?  That's a dangerous occupation!  Although I bet these Battle Rappers are, "Rockin," some real cool, stylish masks.  Most Battle Rappers are black.  Black people are often at the forefront of culture/fashion.  Therefore Battle Rappers Know About The Best Masks And How To Carry Them.  Then again it could be a scam.  They could be playing PRERECORDED audio tape of them rapping, and have the Audio cassette in their mouth, and no one would be the wiser that its a tape and not them rapping.  Can't do that without the mask . Everyone would see the tape!  And see your lips Not Moving Accurately!  Alright gonna take a JP break!

-9:04 P.M.



I Am So Sorry

   That sure is a title.  Anyway yes I love (Am in love?) with my Pandemic Routine but today has really shaken my daily schedule up!  Didn't start Entry until Afternoon, mucked around, didn't get lunch, eating Late Popcorn and Part FOUR? of entry?  But the good news is I Am Finally Watching Jurassic Park As God Intended-- for Me To Watch Jurassic Park.  Also sounds kinda weird to specify As god intended.  If you're Pro-God, seems like you'd think he's all powerful and the ultimate Will in the universe.  But now you're like well God mucks up on occasion, this thing wasn't really Run By God at all, lets check and make sure if he's okay with it in retrospect!  Yes Popcorn is Delicious but What Am I Supposed to Do About It?  Keep Eating It?  You're The Boss!
    Everyone loves them some John Hammond.  They may not know it yet, but they do!  I think I can tell, trending over long periods of time, I am slowly but surely getting better at Microwaving Popcorn.  Went through a huge long period of mny life I'd end up burning at LEAST 25% of popcorn and often more than 50%!  And when its that much, all the burnt pieces get stuck together and its Really Gross!  Now?  Hardly any burnt pieces at all.  Yes I am better at READING directions and FOLLOWING directions but I think the Microwave is the MIP Most Improved Player in this scenario.  Anyway what kind of meals do I have coming up tomorrow.  Probably some Non-Decadent Egg Sandwich Meal for breakfast.  Got a Thing of Sushi from Supermarket, only Fresh Thing I Got, gotta have that tomorrow.  A third thing.  Maybe involving turkey.  When Dr Grant and Mrs (MS?) Dino-paleontologist are accosted by a kid who was like THAT'S NOT SCARY LOOKS LIKE A GIANT TURKEY and then Samm O Neil is like what if I cut your throat Hows That For Scary.
    In retrospect I Think Its A Scam that the service is called Peacock and they're taking about Turkeys and Turkeys are very similar to Peacocks who Are Roosters Or Something?  So, great, what else is going on.  Hey the Mets won Game I of Whatever.  I think they should have reverse playoffs.  If you win enough games, you get to stop playing, take a rest, you've earned it!  If you're a loser you're punished by having to work more.  Was originally gonna give that, "Joke," A COVID spin but hey it works just fine without it.  I LIKE THE WAY THIS PARAGRAPH WENT I WILL GO ONE MORE BONUS PARAGRAPH BUT THAT'S IT.
    Sweet!  Basically we went into this New Not As Extensive Super Market Delivery in a rush because we wanted to at least get SOMETIN' for tonight.  And I basically went into the delivery thinking alright this should last me 3-5 days.  But if I have to wait a week, if my parents were thinking something different, I'm PLUMB out of options!  Sure I wrote something about being Plumb Dumb somewhere a week or two ago, it might have even been here!  If not Hey Great It Showed Up Here Lets Have A Party About It.  This is the paragraph I Changed All My Plans For?  Yeah!  How about that!  Jeez I knocked this popcorn out of the oven.  I'll see you guys tomorrow.

-10:03 P.M.



Thursday, July 23, 2020

Lets Agree To Disagree

   That sure is a title. I was just watching this movie called Any Given Sunday and I was like Too Vague!  Surely you wanna narrow it down to Just ONE Sunday!  THAT'S wWUAT Tue PEIOPOLE WNAT!  Sure I lost an ability to type for a dozen seconds IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY@!  Anyway, went to have some blood work today.  I'm happy to say I Do Indeed Have Blood.  Eating a bagel with cream cheese right now.  I'm happy to say I Do re: Marrying Bagel With Cream Cheese.  I guess in this scenario the Bagel & Cream Cheese Proposed To Me!  Such is life I guess.  Anyway, no drinkin alcohol today!  Then tomorrow its back to beer!  Everyone's more comfortable with that. 
    When Ya'll Eat Community Cream Cheese do you Double Dip with some sort of Knife or Spork between Spreading Cream Cheese and gettin' it out of the tub?  Also a Spork, a knife is the only thing IT'S NOT! Sure there SHOULD BE combination Sporks/Knives But Not In My Lifetime!  Speaking of Cheese-- Think 'Em Up from yesterday (and probably half a dozen times before that).  Cheez its crackers.  Jesus Crackers.  I'm glad we returned to that joke after 9 months People Demand Jokes They're Familiar With!  The point is Dad is Secret Shaming Me about using too much cream cheese.  Cause I Do use two times as much as him.  But I'd say if you get it at a deli it's THREE TIMES as much as ME.  Which is suddenly SIX TIMES as much as him!  Fascinating.  It's been a while, obviously, but I miss getting Bagel With Cream Cheese and/or Butter from Deli, because they'll stuff 6 Times of My Dad's Cream cheese (which is an official variable as per the metric system) and the pint is You And Me All WANNA eat Cream Cheese and/or Butter like a pig and now we have to!  And we're like Well, When In Rome!
Anyway that was a nice early bagel.  Had no breakfast!  Had a an appropriately times lunch!  Too bad I can't have a SECOND lunch.  Hmm I can have a dinner roll RIGHT NOW.  That'll top off a great lunch with an even greater... well... lets be honest the dinner role is No Greater Than A Great Lunch.  Maybe even NOT AS GREAT if we're keeping it 100%.  The point is Did I Have A Dinner Roll?  Nope!  Did I Have An Eggo!  YEAH HOW DD You KNOW.  ARE YOU ME?  Also when I came down stairs, Fresh from Some Creamed Cheese, turns out I had some in my NOSTRILS and my Mustache!  Whatta scam!  Anyway Facial Cream Cheese is Surely A Scam nobody's arguing that.  But there are BIGGER scams out there.  Like Why Isn't It Time For Dinner Yet.  I'm hungry for dinner.  You should be able to eat whatever you want whenever you want, right?  Also I'm not 100% buying in the idea that we all have more or less the same metabolism based on eight and body weight.  THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SCAM!   I see people enjoying their food TO THE FULLEST EXTENT POSSIBLE and Hey They Look Fine!  Maybe I need New Peepers.
I WANT TO PROVIDE AS MUCH SUSTENANCE TO ME AND MY FAMILY WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED FOR THAT.  Well, there's under nutrition and malnutrition.  Maybe you're just Punishing Your Family with, "Big MAK," after, "Big MAK," then You're THe Worst Father I've Ever Seen!  Just load em up with CARDIO.  Load em up with KETO.  Anabolic STEROIDS.  YEATS THE POET.  SUre I was going for EATS BUT THE Y SHOWED UP AND WHAT AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO ACKNOWLEDGE, "Yeats The Poet?"  Me reading a Clunker Yeats Poem--   "YEATS?  MORE LIKE YEEEEEEESH"  Anyway gotta call DMV to update my Drivers License.  I only have so big a window to get it done Over Phone or Over Online Or Over Phone Lines.  After that It's Too Late Gotta Go In Person.  Go In Person?  YEAH I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT SINCE I WAS 12 TO NO AVAIL!  Well, maybe a little avail.  But that's the exception Not The Rules!
    Also, why am I getting a Generic Government ID card at the DMV.  Seems like Nothing To Do With Driving is WAY out of their jurisdiction.  Maybe that's an ICE Scam.  They make you show up for whatever dumb ID you want and it turns out It Was A Trap All Along!  And you know undocumented immigrants GOTTA Get their ID done That's one of their main concerns!  Well cracked that code.  Just like how ICE cracks the code that is innocent protester's bodies.  You know, because of violence?  Because they all use violence?  Local police, state police, fedeal police, Supra-federal police?  THEY'RE ALL MONSTERS YOU'D THINK TEHRE'D BE SOMETHING WE COULD DO ABOUT THIS.




Get Home Safe

   There are better titles out there.  I was looking at My DVDs and I feel like there should be a sequel called Me Myself & Irene: Also This Time I'M ALSO IRENE!  Not me.  The Me-Myself in the movie!  Played by Cim Jarrey.  So the point is I'm back with Beer tomorrow.  Parents were Very Disappointed! in the fact that I finished a 1.75 liter bottle vodka IN A WEEK!  Ad I was like PERFECT NOW YOu'RE OKAY WITH BEER?  HAHAH GOTCHA, "Art Of The Deal! EVER READ IT?  Anyway why is that not a Key Part of TrumpCult.  A bunch of people who are Into Art Of The Steal And They Wished They Could Have Gone To Trump UNiversity If It Was Still Around and STEAKS WE ALL LIKE STEAKS!  I'd like tosee what a Trump steak tastes like.  I'm out of Steak options!  The good news if, if Trump every writes another book (him or a ghost writer) OF COURSE it'll be called My Struggle.  He's really leaning into that title on many fronts.
    Good Metal Band Name-- Demon Dementia.  Also why are Metal Bands SO angry?  Also Why Are Country Stars SO ANgry?  Don't even get me on Anti-Folk Stars SO ANGRY?  Anyway I'm on board with the polls that show Good Guys in the lead but those polls where the baddies have made some progress on the good guys I dunno who this is for!  I'm starting to Transition from Caring About National Polls & Deep Dive into BattleGround State polls.  How about BattleGround STEAK Polls.  I know you like Donald Trump but you're also the kind of dummy that eats STEAKS like A REAL MAN and I'm willing to bet dollars to donots you're like Hmm This Steak is terrible?  WHAT?  TRUMP STEAK?  WELL, IT MUST BE GOOD THEN!  NAILED IT.  The point is Yes We Are All Victims of Gaslighting but Trump's Supporters are the most Gaslit of us all.  It's universal but C'mon lets give Trump SOME credit!  I'm Dumb for not really realizing that until now.  You talk about gaslighting and I'm like YEAH THAT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US and I never think about The REAL Victims.  Which is also us.  On account of the OTHER, "victims."  The point is No One Is Responsible For Anything.
    Well, great, just great.
  When having Blood Work Done, the Young Nurse-In-Training was like How tall are you.  ANd I was like Oh I know what You're After!  Doesn't take a genius to see that an embarrassing personal defect being AIRED OUT in the room by somebody is a sign of attraction!  DEEP Attraction.  Then I was like 5'2! and she aws like okay can I take yuor blood pressure.  Then they took my weight.  And I was like OK I'm just saying up front you can take my weight BUT I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.  And that sent her deep affection for me into HYPER DRIVE.  She was like is it okay if I check your Wait Body Waist Ya Know The TickerTape thing that figures out how bit your gut is.  Which I don't like it!  I'd rather have High Weight and Less Circumference.  Prove me wrong!
Hey, great, just great.  #AnyGivenSundaySummerToRemember.  Fun Fact-- I wanna play MADDEN 2004 right now.  Unless they've actually made more later versions of MADDEN : THe Football Video Game Franchise.  Then Hey 2014?  EVEN BETTER.  Surely they stopped at 14!  They do a new one every decade.  Only way to make sense of thins.  I like Donald Trumps pitch for a new Sitcom with PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV.  Hey Trump I rememebred that one MINUTES longer than I had to.  SMALL MULTIPLES OF 60 SECONDS.  You know, the number you couldn't get down to if you were counting down from 100 by 5s.  Sitcom Synopsis-- Person Woman Man Camera TV.    Are Camera and TV part of the plot or is it just his mind was wandering to Hmm-- how can we translate the picture (and audio!) into people's, well, there's no easy way to say this-- TVs?
Anyway another paragraph and then another break.  Most likely gonna eat A Double Hot Pocket for dinner IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.  But anyway, I dunno.  Idea for Trump's book on his experience at The APprentecnce-- Me, Myself, and Firing.  That was his big thing!  That might be one post-presidency life he does.  Yeah presidency was great but I REALLY just want Cameras and TV.  Can't we just let bygones be bygones.  To which I'd reply no got rot in prison for the rest of you life you piece of CRAP!  Too bad I'm not  the judge NOR the jury maybe some sort of stenographer IN THE ABSTRACT in reality So Hey how about Caricaturist! But then again, I'm no good at sketches at all!  Wait, I shouldn't sell myself short. I'm OKAY at sketches.



You'd Be Surprised

   MUCH better.  Anyway the good news is my laptop is overheating and my palms feel like their in a sauna. You know, a hot house?  AN opposite Igloo?  STEAM ROOM?  Anyway the other good news is I was putting an order of Sawdust Dogs with Supermarket, and I was like, iIHMM you know what?  I'm gonna get Hot Dog Buns for ALL my sandwich needs!  It's a true story that needed telling.  You know, like the opposite of the Bible?  Started re-watching Full Metal Jacket : The Mathew Modine Vehicle.  An by starting re-watching, I MAY have made it past the opening credits.  I dunno!  I like reading polls obsessively because I'm like CMON WHAT;S YOUR PROBLEM/  THIS 1 in 100 Person Going away from Biden onto Trump WHAT KINDA DUMBASS ARE YOU.  THERE SHOULD BE MS-13 SQUADS TO TRACK YOU DOWN AND VIOLENTLY PAPERSPRAY YOU AND KILL YOU.  Oh wait that's what our government does.  Not the Scariest of The Scariest Gangs.  But the good news is THEY'RE DOING IT FOR OUR OWN PROTECTION.   Hey! I make a interesting point about what fascism is. 
    What the what.
  HOT POCKETS FOR DINER TONIGHT YEAH!  I've been exclusively doing it In Oven for years cause I like the HOT CRUSTY FLAKY CRUST.  But my Dad don't want me using over today.  Too warm already!  In fact if he was here in my room he wouldn't be on board with my laptop's motor running a bit too high.  IT'll be Our Little Secret Shame, You And Me!  Hmm.  What else is going on.  MICROWAVE FOOD?  WHAT ARE WE, ANIMALS?!  Yeah probably.  Went into the gas station to get my Mom Cigarettes.  I'm talkin' a full 2 packs of her 1st choices!  Wouldn't sell me moe, presumably because there's a high demand for cigarettes and he can't sell it all to one person.  In which case why not I'll just buy it all up no one would be the wiser.  I guess he's trying to be that quintessential, "Hometown Hero," that he saves cigarettes For ANYONE And EVERYONE Who Wants Them.  Well, maybe not, "Everyone."  That seems irresponsible.  The point is Huh?
Finished re-watching Any Given Sunday but I don't know why it has to be Any Given Sunday.  I guess that's one of the things nobody will ever know.  My favorite State to keep tabs on is Florida (One of The United States).  It's not the ultimate swing vote, it's not the biggest richest caviar dream.  It's just that in 2016 Election Night it was like CLINTON AHEAD BY 2 POINTS 50% Reporting.  AAnd then when Trump took over Florida Lead, that's when we kinda knew this may not be happening.  So I Basically Wanna Blow That Out Of The Water JUST TO STICK IT TO THEM!  Also Hey also a lot of, "electricianist  votes."  That's when Joe Plumber, Larry The Cable Guy, and a few industrious Soccer Moms form a Bloc.  To vote.
    You know, as they say-- As Florida goes, so goes the nation.  Bu which I think they meant Florida is Dragging Us All Down As A Nation to be just ASSOCIATED (or UNITED-state-wise if you will) We better cut ties with Florida before there's surely some further degradation we must suffer because of Florida!  I know people make fun of Florida a lot and I don't like it!  FLORIDA, not 'people making fun of Florida'!  The point is sure they have Disney World PRO.  They have Disney World Open BAD.  Well its a Thrill Ride alright.  You just enter the park you're already jittery with excitement and anticipation.  But instead of getting on the closest/least line Roller Coaster, you just play the long game, and are like  Ooooh man what if I get COVID WHAT ANOTHER FUN DAY THE AMUSEMENT PARK.
I tried watching Rashoman TRUE STORY AS FAR AS I CAN TELL but was
too drunk to follow what was happening.  I think That's The Plot Of The Movie?  On the other hand I Don't Speak Japanese!  I'd like to one day!  I'm movin' to Japan within 10 years Mark It.  Then send it to yourself through the post office and down open it until I'm gone and the message says Hey If you're reading this I Am Already Japanese.  One negative thing about Japanese is that they have different sex fetishes than I do.  We're WORLDS APART!  Oh right.  Fullest Metal Jacket Available.  Figure I got 1/3rd committed to memory, 2nd third not as much, 3rd 3rd even less.  But I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.  The point is I'm sorry for such a late entry.  Please don't fire me.  I'm not even flame retardant or anything!  I'll see ya later.

5:20 P.M. 




Wednesday, July 22, 2020

I'll' Show You

   That's great just great.  Have roughly 3-4 Drinksworth of Vodka.  0-0 drinkworth of Any Possible Mixture Except for Coffee.  Sounds lik a big risk, right?  Anyway I gotta drink this either today or tomorrow.  I choose today!  Tomorrow Never knows.  Thats a song abuot having limited number of drinkworths of alcohol and Will You Finish It Today?  Right?  Seems like it would be.  Wouldn't that be TODAY Never Knows?  Well its accurate Today SHOULD Know but not 100% as well as Tomorrow Should Know.  By tomorrow Today And Everything That Goes Along With It is DEFINITELY 100% Knowable. 
    Got some Faux Fast Food for lunch.  Dinner maybe finish some Spaghetti with FROZEN Burrito.  We're talking the brand is called, "Red," or something?  I'm gonna have to look into that.  Hey I Was Right!  It's Named After Red!  From The Redemption of Shawshank. Has this burrito been rehabilitated.  That's just a fancy word Burrito Sources use to sound more important.  Also SURE the title implies The Shawshank is Being More Redeemed than Andy Dufresense and or other prisoners.  This Prison System in Shawshank is Violent and Corrupt from the Warden On Down!!  They never learn a thing!  Which is the first step towards Redemption.  You have to be willing to admit You Need To Redeem For Something Or Something Like That.
    Almost misspelled Warden as Warren.  She'd be THE TOP Prison Captain if you were able to choose one.  She's Warm BUT SHE EXPECTS A LOT.  She enjoys human rights even for prisoners (supposedly) but She's Not Afraid Of Putting Any Jerks In Their Place.  Right?  What was I talking about.  Oh, right, probably drink today.  Might as well.  Why put off till Tomorrow What You Can Do Today.  Hmm.  Can I put of till tomorrow what I CANT do today?  Seems only fair.  Like, tomorrow, The Calendar Is One Day Older.  No way I could accomplish that In My Wildest Dreams Today.  Unless I stay up Past Midnight and, let's face it, if you're still awake during the Rollover it's still Yesterday's Night.
    I feel kinda strongly about this!  Sort of!  Sure there is a correct way to spell Andy D's Last Name.  But I DON'T KNOW IT!  Oh, right.  Andy MacDowell.  The, "Mac," is silent!  And lets face it She Knows Better Than ALMOST ANYONE ELSE how Staying up at night past midnight is Still Current Day.  Because of movies.  Right?  Just because it's a movie doesn't mean you can't learn from it.  Groundhog stuff and whatnot.  Huh.  Where was I..  Oh, right.  1st Drinksworth of the day-- ~.75 of a drink!  Wth 2.25 To Go!  Figure if I stay at !.75s THAT's FOUR DRINKS MAN OH MAN MATH IS PAYING OFF IN DIVIDENDS.  Wait, no.  Division.  Math is paying off in Division Ends.  DIVID-ENDS?  I'd much prefer COVID ENDS!!!  You heard it here first.  A dumb joke.  Maybe we'll get some more before the entry is over!
I can always dilute alcohol into water.  Or dilute water into alcohol.  Nah even with the same proportions I'd rather dilute Alcohol INTO Water.  I seem like less of a drunkard!  Hmm I'm enjoying this water, I'm just thirsty is all... a little alcohol couldn't hurt!  On the other hand its like I'M DRINKING ALCOHOL VERY IRRESPONSIBLE WHAT IF I MIX SOME RESPONSIBLE WATER INTO IT.  Anyway, I dunno.  Have some Spaghetti left over from last night.  Oh right I told you this, right?  To Pair with Robert Redford's Outstanding Frozen Burritos.  It's not Delivery, It's Robert Redford's Outstanding Frozen Burritos.  Sublime had a song called Burritos and I remember reading Bradley KnowsAllToWell's son says That's His Favorite Sublime Song.  I THINK to play but also maybe as a memory of Dad.  Oh Dad and his burritos.  I don't think I'll ever forget how much Dad ate burritos.  Maybe that's where I get my love of burritos from. 



Here It Is

   The point is PPeople without smell/taste can drink lard liquor like it was nothin'!  Also, People who are alcoholics can drink LARD LIQUOR like it was nothing.  Hmm now I Kinda Wanna Try Lard Liquor.  AnywayAAnyway looks like I will have to Leave The House Once More to get bloodwork.  The other point is Hmm what else is going on.  Will have finished Alcohol by the end of the entry!  Hmmm just had a Fast Food Hamburger to pair with a Drinksworth of Vodka and it brought back smoe memories of Being Drunk In My Head.  Cause my taste and smell senses were very acute with the alcohol.  I even had to throw up for a third of a second.  Alright TWO Thirds!  The point is What Else Is Going On.
    Haven't had A Good Throw Up in like three months!  Oh well its nice to have something to look forward to.  And then accomplishing the thing you were looking forward to.  And also what else is going on is the point.  Hmm maybe make some coffee.  I like the sound of that!  Coffee is another onamoniapia.  That's the sound Coffee Machines Make  CAUUUUUFEEEEE.  Prove me wrong.  Anyway Remember That Time I took a break after this paragraph To Make Coffee?  And presumalby didn't start it up again With Coffee?  Also Good Sequel for The Rolling Stones-- Start It Up Again." Presumably a subliminal mention to express Dona'ld Trumps "It's Our America Again!"  Lol.  "Dona'ld Trump."  Makes Me Laugh!  Anyway.  I think All Schools should open up so that there's no competition becaus everyone else stays home and I show up to Harvard and am like, sitting in the front row of an empty Auditorium Classroom, HERE I AM TEACH LETS GO!
    Are people gonna study TrumpSpeak as they once taught Latin?  It's a Dead Language (LETS HOPE) but it makes sense and is valuable for Future People to understand our Nation's Deepest Darkest Moment And Our Secret Shame.  I think Probably Not That'd Be Crazy.  But then again who cares.  I mean, kids 30 years from now HAVE to be taught about Trump in some context.  You can only coast on a Yeah that wasn't great but WHAT ELSE is going on.  You need to teach these kids something!!! Lemme know when he does ONE GOD DAMN THING worth remembering and teaching for our children.  Cause I can't fuckin' think of it!  Anyway hey lets make some coffee won't we.
    Anyway.  Everyone in my family is a jerk.  Oh well.  I guess everyone in everyone's family is a jerk.  We're all at Jerk Herd Immunity!  Except children who are born jerks per my understanding of Christianity.  Ned to be baptized to Undo-Kids Natural Jerkitude.  Anyway what's the big fuss over Groundhog's Day.  YEs that is THE DAY Groundhogs make their feelings known re: Weather, but the day itself is inconsequential!  Just be like Oh its a regular day, some groundhog did something, great, has no impcat on TODAY, may have an impact for next few weeks!  Also there's anothing thing.  I always assumed Groundhog was PREDICTING the next few weeks.  Maybe he's CAUSING IT.  Correlation DOES NOT prove causation HOWEVER it implies THERE MIGHT BE Causation.  This HedgeHog knew what he was up to!  HE'S KNOWN ALL THESE YEARS. 
    Started watching, "Lolita," The Film Everybody Is Against, and nothing scary happened yet in an hour!  This dude is sick That's Kind of Scary!  And Peter Sellers plays MULTIPLE PEOPLE (OR ARE THEY?) That's Kind Of Scary!  Also I legitimately forget if They Are Multiple People Or Not Or Maybe Partly Multiple People And Partly The Same.  I'm leaning one way But No Spoilers Except for What I Already Said BEYOND what I said no more spoilers.  Anyway.  Other 2 HBOMAXERS of Kubrick is 2001: Some Space Odyssey, and, uh, lemme look that up right quick...  I's c\scary because The DIRECTOr IS DEADThat'd spook anybody out We're Dealing With A Ghost's Film!  Oh, right.  The Fullest Metal Jacket



Wasn't That Great

   That sure was great.  Last section of the entry!  Got scammed out of An Contact Lense yesterday.  Thee was a full out Individual Package for my RIGHT eye and then I open it up and there's some Saline Solution to Keep Contact Wet With Saline Presumably BUT NO CONTACT LENSE.  So naturally I called up Ghostbusters because I logically assumed A Ghost Did it and its been over 30 or so hours and NOTHIN!  Also is it Ghost Busters or THE Ghostbusters.  Also How In The Hell does Microsoft FrontPage recognize Ghostbusters as a word.  They do realize those movies were works of fiction, right?  There's No Such Thing A Ghostbuster or Ghosbusters as Plural.  Oh, right.  Like trying to imagine a Ghostbuster either saying WE'RE GHOST BUSTERS or WE ARE THE GHOST BUSTERS and I can't figure it out yet I can imagine either one pretty well.  HMM UPDATE.  Ghostbuster is not a word according to Microsoft.  GhostbusterS IS a word.  Hey you learn something new every day.
I think the moral of the story is you can get some people who bust ghosts by their lonesome, but you have to be part of a Team to TRULY BE GhostbusterS.  That's my, "Hot Take."  I want some Saltine Solution.  I dunno.  I feel like its common knowldge that Sailboat People and whatnot ae always highly stocked in crackers because they don't go bad.  I also consider it common knowldge with a low supply of Drinking Water you don't wanna consume excess salt.  ANd that's how the practice of Communion started.  Got extra crackers from The Boaters, Might as well help church sell themselves some Jesus. Also Dick Van Dyke always introduces himself as Rob Petrie and I Don't Think That's His Real Name.  I guess that's one of those inside jokes.  This actor keeps pretending to be someone else On Camera and we all just act like this is normal?  Cracks me up for sure, rigt?
    We've got the crackers, you've got the god who needs to be transmogrified?  Well here's a Win/Win if I ever saw one!  Arent people Baptized in pools of water?  Now suddenly we're back to square one!  Eating Crackers on Pools of water.  Seems like we could ahve skipped all that fuss and just recognized Sailors Who Eat Lots Of Crackers On Their Voyages are the only TRUE Christians.  Ahhh man checked my E-mail for the first time today and NO SPAM FROM THE CRACKERJACKER.  Cracking the Jacker is the only way to save his soul. Give that Computer Jacker Some Cracker So He Can Be A Cracker Jacker!
    Great news
only two more paragraph!  Man I get to leave the house today.  It'll be all like hey I'm outside how about that looks like Ghost Town which is scary because that movie wasn't that great and I don't wanna watch it right now maybe later but not now!  I'm not 100% on what Crackerjacks is but I'm relatively certain I have relatively no interest in it.  Anyway gonna finish this entry with 1/2 a drink left or so.  I'm drinking Vodka that's like Jesus Blood, right?  Also I get how Red Wine can be blood.  White Wine?  Something is VERY wrong with this Jesus fella I just can't put my finger on it.  Also if you're REALLY religious dip some crackers into wine.  Then essentially You Are Eating ALL aspects of god.  Closest you can get to God/Son-of-God before you die, go to Heaven, and he's like, well I think there's some room for you, why don't you get acquainted, I'll check up with you later and THEN YOU NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN? 
    The point at a certain age God Starts Ghosting us.  In real life, in heaven, in Everything!  You tink you lost faith but it's really just God whose like I can't deal with this anymore but what can I do I can't be like See You In Hell Because it's mean and I won't anyway.  Hopefully she turns into a monster and I don't have to deal with it up Here.  Hey entry is almost over wonderful what else is going on.   No alcohol for another 36 hours or so!  Wonderful.  Last drink commencing... now.  For some reason I'm more, "Into," winning over Georgia instead of Texas.  They've got HOTLANTA.  I think we can all learn a little bit about HOTLANDA from expanding Georgia to our loose companionship of Populous Blue States.  Hmm my mom's name is linda.  Did I just accidentally look at Hotlanda and momentarily thought it meant Hot Linda?  That's for THE COURTS to decide!  I'll see you guys later.

4:00 P.M.    


Tuesday, July 21, 2020

I Know What You're Thinking

   That's Inaccurate.  I don't even know what I'M thinking!  That's More Accurate.  Anyway, a couple of, "Save 'Em Ups," frm earlier in the morning.  1)  We gotta be doin Polls Of Children to see how THEY feel about going back to school.  You're being Ageist by only caring about What Adults Want To Do.  Kids are People do they wanna o to school or not, should be up to THEM.  Anyway, 2nd save-em-up-- "I'M NOT UNEMPLOYED!  YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED!  THIS WHOLE SYSTEM IS UNEMPLOYED!  That's about where we're at with America, right?  Even if you Have A Good Job, you're more or less unemployed in My Eyes.  Like, Government.  Team Trump, Team Republicans, to some Extent FACTIONS of Team Democrats-- abjecating your duty and just Mucking Around?  We Might S Well Nominate Coat Hangers to serve in High Authority Offices!  I'm on Team Coat Hangers WHICH IS A WAY OF SAYING IM PRO ABORTION BUT NOT PRO DOCTORS PERFORMING IT!  Why can't we go back to the good old days where you can get a Malted and then A Friend With A Coat Hanger takes that.  ITS PART OF OUR HERITAGE!
    Sounds about right.  Also I don't know The Female Body that well but Coat Hangers sound painful.  Anyway, it's 7/21.  Sounds like Some Multiples of Seven!  No it doesn't.  Yes it does.  Oh right good point I don't know what Math is.  Glad we settled that one.  The point is, THANKS TO MATH, I was able to, "Calculate," how I can drink today and tomorrow At The Same, "Rate [Math Term]" but I'd have to skip Thursday Entirely!  Well, skip drinking during the day. I haven't invented a time machine that goes into testing it at Midnight Wednesday.  Probably not!  If I did, I still wouldn't tell you.  So there's that to consider  Also, "Calculate, "Calculator," "CalcuLUS??"  Why is this brand of math so Fund of Calculations.  I'm sure there's an easy answer out there But I Have No Way Of Knowing It!  Calculus is the thing where you have both an X and a Y to solve for, right?  Could be way off!  I only took PRE-Calculus which was arithmetic because THEY NEVER SAID HOW PRE IT WAS!  Damnit That High School Curricula Has Gotten Me Again!
    That's fun.  Just call everything pre-calculus.  Start off with Multiplcation and Division at PRE PRE PRE PRE PRE Calculus.  Then move up and each time you subtract a, "Pre!"  Well I'm Stupid.  God Damn High School Curricula, never even made me Not Stupid!  Hey I figured out what I like about the Super Market, "Spanish 'Yellow' Rice!"  It's very similar to Halal Food Rice!  Which is solidly my 4th out of 5 ingredients.  normal Halal Cart Platters.  First is Lamb, Then it's Chicken, then it's White Sauce (Also if Health wasn't a factor I MAY LIST THIS BEFORE THE LAMB AND CHICKEN NO FOOLIN!)And anyway then Rice and then Salad (lettuce) if I don't get a chance to say NO SALAD  Which can happen!
    Anyway my mind was just wondering talking about Halal Food and Guns 'n Roses Lyrics came to mind and it was like Something 'bout a warm safe place where as a child I... wherever it's Sweet Child O Mine but I was consciously yet unintentionally thinking about Halal Food at the time.  Wait so is Halal Food the Sweet Child Of MINE?  Or am I some Sweet Child who happens to like Halal Food and Gun's n' Roses as singing an Ode to me and my Halal food.  No way of knowing!  Well we can Guess.  We can guess No that is not the case.  But sure, anything is possible is teh point!  Anyway ON THE OTHER HAND I was talking about Lunch and I was like Hmm gotta decide between Soup and Rice.  Or maybe I didn't Get Up To The Part Yet.  But anyway as much as I like Halal Rice, I also like adequate canned soup because I Feel Like A MAN and an ADULT going through the disgusting process of Bowl Plopping.  In the end, it's Just THE RIGHT thing to do!  So there's that I guess.
Drink 'Em If You Gottem.  Gottem.  Hmm looks like you're folling and matching my every mo--  JINX.  That'll show 'em, that'll show all of 'em!  How about this.  SOUP AND RICE That's IT.  No that would never work.  What Would People Say?  I dunno!  Section of entry is almost over I know that much!  I can have rice and soup nobody can stop me!  WELL: FOLLOW UP::: My Mom can stop me.  We spend 120 seconds (~2 minutes) about who would eat Last Remaining Beef Barley Soup and then I was like ok fine you have it.  And she went back to me with that and I was like look turkey sandwich plays better with rice than soup I INSIST YOU HAVE IT!  And she's like, "It doesn't matter anymore.  Nothing matters."  The point is if my Mom was 12 year old, hearing that talk, I'd have to take her to a child psychologist.  (A psychologist who treats children.  Not A Literal CHILD Psychiatrist.  He'd have no training nor perspective!)  One way I know I'm growing up from the depression I had 20 years ago is 1) well I'm 20 years older and a completely different person presumably.  But also 2)  Fuck, "Nothing Matters." EVERYTHING MATTERS YOU FOOL YOU'RE WAY OFF AS AS OFF AS SOMEONE CAN BE!




As I Was Saying

   Is there a compromise where My Mom and I split A Beef Barley soup?  Yeah probably!  At first I as like NO WAY even though sh was the one who suggested it, becuase she only eats 1/2 of a can at a time.  But then 5 minutes later I had my way around to JUST HAVE IT ITS OKAY.  Meanwhile I should have been sying, "Just HALF IT ITS OKAY!"  So the So the point is Yeah I'll probably end up Havign Soup What Of It!  I dunno their secret formula for knowing how to splut Soup in half.  And water is 50/50 Barley Pellets are 50/50 the odd piece of vegetable and the relatively odd piece of Savory Beef (THEIR WORDS NOT MINE) is 50/50!  I DON'T GET HOW TO DO THAT. Anyway, I like wearing clothes (ESPECIALLY shirts) and I'm like am I significantly overweight?  You can't tell!  My SHIRT is blocking your view of Stomach It's the perfect crime!  While anyone who would possibly see me in thie shirt is like well this guy is significantly overweight, I ahve no idea how he thought this shirt was gonna help him.  The moral of the story is I Need Some better Shirts.
    Right?  Seems like it would be.  Looks like we're maing some Spaghetti AND Meatballs AND tomato Sauce AND I re-upped my supply of Jalepeno Peppers which I forgot about for a few months And I Can See Adding Some Jalepeno Peppers into a Spaghetti Dinner.  Lol Spaghetti that's a weird word both in SOUND and ESPECIALLY in Spelling.  WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THIS ONE!  My guess is Italian People, right?  Not much of a stretch to reach that conclusion.  Guess What I was right with that thing 90% of us could have assumed.  Does that include Donald Trump?  I dunno he's a borderline case.  HMM SPAGHETTI THAT COULD HAVE COME FROM ANYWHERE?  Also it appears to be spelled that way I'LL NEVER REMEMBER THAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!! 
    The point is
The point is that's another thing I look forward to.  There was Subway Sandwiches, there's Halal Food Carts, and there's PIZZA ANY PIZZA  Just not It's Like Delivery It's Digiorno.  I'm talkin real all and out New York Stizzle Pizza!   My favorite part of drinking coffee is by the time it gets cold, and you take a sip and 1/2 the time you're like ROOM TEMPERATURE COFFEE THIS IS THE WORST!!  But then there's also SOMETIMES when you're like  ROOM TEMPERATURE COFFEE JUST AS THE DOCTOR ORDERED ITS LIKE COFFEE BUT NOT AS HOT I COULD CHUG THIS IF I WANTED TO!  ALso it's not iced coffee.  Very different!  The pintThe point is I fnished watching TWO Kurosawa movies I had seen before and I did about NONE PERCENT of watching it enough to look up from my phone and Watch That Closed Captioning Go!  I just had a conversation with my Mom.  We WILL Split Soup.
  My Mom's Got A REAL Problem with Joe Biden's Campaign Premise "Build Back Better."  She is NOT a fan of alliteration is the point.  Me?  I could take it or leave it Depending On The Situation.  Meanwhile Kanye's Campaign Promise is Bigger Better Faster Stronger and it shows HIM DoingStuff.  And then his next Campaign Premise is NO ONE MAN SHOULD AHVE ALL THAT POWER and it goes between showing Joe Biden AND J Donald Trump.  Why shuoldn't Joe Biden Have All The Power.  He knows what he did.  The point is great what else is  going on and crap.  Figure I'll take a break after this paragraph, start lunch up, come back for next section of entry!  All it means is I have to write 1 more paragreaph RIGHT NOW.
    Remember the time Its Not Dijorno It's Delivery was A REASONABLE thing to want?  I cherish those happy memories.  Hmm only half a soup.  Maybe have half a sandwich, too, to even it out.   With the rice.  I have lots of good options and that's the best one but one would imagine I have lot of good options beyond that.  #HarryPotterSummerToRemember sounds like a good idea if I wasn't too drunk to enjoy Child Wizards and Warlocks.  Not so much Warlocks.  I don't know what franchise YOU'RE thinking of but Harry Potter is FULL of Warlocks!  I feel like there was an obscure Nintendo Game Boy game which had to do with Warlocks.  LMLTURQ!  It's possible it was an SNES game.  Lets of things are possible!  Like Me Getting, "Into," A Story Of Harry Potter & His Friends, Jason and Tracy.




I Was Way Off

   MMM taste the Faux Halal Food Rice.  You know what I'm gonna do when this entry is over?  Watch some more #DickVanDykeSummerToRemember.  Mm taste that 1/2 sandwich and/or Soup.  The point is I'm okay with having 1/2 a soup.  Also the other point is I'm... uh... I think I was gonna say was, "I'm okay with having 1/2 a soup."  That doesn't work though, now does it?  I feel pretty happy with Slurping Soup  Like I figured out this Great Soup Trick.  You suckers are stuck using spoon to spoon up ALL THE TIME well sometimes ITS VERY INCONTINENT here's a Life Hack...  Life Hack is slurping!  It's a victimless crime!

-3:23 P.M.





Monday, July 20, 2020

No Way

   I guess not.  Anyway ANother Day.  It's Monday!  I feel very strongly about this.  I had my over-the-phone Therapist Call this morning That's How I Know FUR SURE that it's Monday.  Also, I am SO over the phone.  Now I'm into Sega Dreamcast.  Hmm that's not how Phones Progressed.  It's not like They Are Phones I like --> being over the phone Because of Sega Dreamcast.  I like those last 5 sentences because I repeat myself in a Slightly Different Way.  Just to drive the point home!  Also when You're playing Crazy Taxi or The Simpsons Version of Crazy Taxi on Sega Dreamcast you MAY HAVE TO drive someone/thing home. 
    Those games are like the part in Grand Theft Auto where you can steal a cab and Then Just Be A Cabdriver.  Except This Time ARound that's ALL you can do in Video Game.  I am SO over Crazy Taxi now I'm into Running Over Prostitutes.  No I'm not.  I'm not, "On Board," with that Even A Little Bit!  Also I don't like the politics of The Lincoln Project even just one bit on account of it should be called Project Lincoln and and its about time travelers who went to Gettysburg Address and they were like LINCOLN YOU GOTTA PROJECT YOUR VOICE!  NO ONE CAN HEAR YOUR WONDERFUL ADDRESS.  Come up WITH THAT ONE if you're so great!
    Anyway, what else is going on.  The point is I Totally Forgot I had Doctor Appointment Over Phone this morning.  Was woken up by phone ringing.  By which I mean I Chose A Very Progressive Ring Tone and it taught me how to be, "Woke-n Up," so to speak.  Anyway lookin' like maybe Grileld Chicken Sandwich on Whatever Kind Of Bread We Have and either Beefed Barleycorn Soup Or with Rice.  Anyway is Soup an onamanonapia.  Hey look at that mess what kind of sound would it make If Soup Had A Sound.  And the sound is SOOOOUUPP.  I have no idea what that means But It FEELS Right.  Also No Universally Recognized Spelling of That Word.  I feel like I made a valiant effort spending 120 seconds checking internet after Micriosfot FrontPage proved no help.  And INTERNET has various spellings!  I took one of the main ones and adjusted it a little bit, put my own spin on it, I feel comfortable acknowledingg Throwing A Spelling Into The Right may be my greatest contribution to The English Language.
    I like how in Bowling Balls all Pro Bowlers do the thing where they bowl it To One Side and then it Curves back around and it's called, ENGLISH.  I mean, that exists outside of bowling.  This is just one scenerio.  But the point is HOW DARE YOU I ASSUME IT STARTED AS A SLANDER AGAINST THE ENGLISH.  Hey watch out for Them English boy they're really curvy you think they're going One Way and then they SWITCH UP and go the other way.  God Damn ENGLISH!  Fascinating.  How's Kanye West's campaign going.  Maybe he should team up with The Lincoln Project to be a 3rd party candidate because they share similar political views and values.  Sounds like an insult.  I can't put my finger on it BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE AN INSULT.  The point is The Lincoln Project is no different from Kanye West but because they put out Ads attacking Trump I'm Just Supposed To Listen To Them Rapping?  No THANKS! The point is I could freestyle rap better than, I dunno, NINETY PERCENT OF THE POPULATION?  Man oh man I'll, "Rap Battle," you Lincoln Projecters ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
    Great, just great.  What else is crappening.  I'm no good at Freestyle Raping.  I'm always trying to think of The NEXT Line instead of trying to think of The FIRST and CURRENT Line.  Which basically means Hmm This CURRENT line makes no sense and we'd be lucky if it even Rhymes On Time.  Such is life!  I think Lincoln Project is trying to capitalize on the success of Hamilton: The Musical Thing.  Sure I know Lincoln didn't show up until 80 years later I KNOW A LOT OF THINGS.  Been drinking a fair share of Just Vodka.  I'm down to 1/2 a bottle of orange soda and 1/2 a bottle of Orange Juice!  Gotta make it last until Friday.  The point is Huh I Forget Hey It's Early For An Entry Based On The Last Few Weeks On Account of Being Over The Phone.




Makes Me  Laugh

   No It doesn't.  I was gonna talk more about Lunch but I decided against it because I was like, I think I already talked about Lunch to the extent necessary.  Something along those lines.  I wonder what Horrific Movies I could watch on HBOMA X.  Probably BOTH the Hostels.  That's aobut it.  I don't get why it's called Hostel.  The crux of the Horrific Stuff & Creepiness goes on BEYOND the Hostel.  The teenagers go to this Hostel and THEN go Some OTHER PLACE to be tortured and/or killed.  You're implying its THE HOSTEL'S FAULT!!!  And MAYBE it is, they might be in cahoots with the Bad People, but we've seen no solid 100% concrete evidence of such a thing.  Hostels are innocent until proven guilty!  The point is if I ever went to Europe I'd wanna go to England.  Becaue there's no langauge barrier.  Hmm.  Really makes ya thing.  Think About Me Being Traveler Lazy.
I dunno.  Lunch'll be comin' up Circa Next Section Of Entry.  Here's another Movie I Have that I may NEVER have watched-- Dont' Say A Word.  It's funny because the star is dead now and will never say a word again We HOPE.  Also she was friends with Rap Battler so it all comes full circle!  We should stay home, because of pandemic, you wanna start rappin'? well I'm Gonna End It!  And then immediately file paperwork with Rap Battle MC to SHUT DOWN THIS OPERATION before this guy even gets a chance!  Anyway Lin Manuel Miranda has got to be like hmm I was gonna write a sequel about Lincoln BUT THEY ALREADY COPYRIGHTED WHAT I WOULD CALL IT IN MY NOTES BEFORE AN OFFICIAL TITLE IS CHOSEN.  Anyway.  Whatever happened to that idea I had about a Musical Comedy taking place in Mental Hospital.  Decided it was too hard to write.  Oh Good Point That Makes Sense.
    Soup or Rice.  Hmm.  Gonna be honest I'm leaning towards Soup.  Also the amount of rice I got is 2 portions worth (even accounting for it Only Being A Side) and my Dad was interested in it so now I can have Disgusting Soup and he can have Delicious Rice.  Started back up on Phone Twitter.  Now I get to keep track of Alllll The Nate Silvers.  Also, "Lincoln Project," is gaslighting.  Yes they are better Republicans than Trump and his cohorts and lackeys.  But there wayyyy off from being Lincolns.  C'mon.  No Gaslighting Please!  It's dangerous for some reason no one is really sure of.  Oh, right, it'll blow up your house.  Or maybe that's Light Gassing.  The point is It's No Es Bueno. 
    My favorite thing when they use polls on FiveThirtyEight is when they Rank The Pollsters Themselves in terms of how reliable or accurate or whatever they are.  And when I see a poll where the pollster is rated at, "A-," or better, I'm like WOAH THIS POLLSTER IS GONNA KNOCK THIS POLL OUT OF THE PARK!  Also Biden's been stuck at 8.8% lead over Trump for over a day and yesterday some A+ Polls had him doing Considerably Better Than That so I just have to assume they were TOO accurate polls, that including them into the algorithm was Just Not Fair.  Would make all the other polls feel bad!  And besides, if we knew Polls were that accurate, what would the point be of having an election at all?  So basically I'm Pro-Democracy that's all that is!
    How come we never Take Fun Polls.  Honest Great Idea-- form a company that's exactly like Pollster Companies but for Fun Things not Politics.  I'd continue on this riff but I Don't Really Want To!  I mean A+ Polls c'mon that's knocking some polling out of the park!  I demand those polls be represented in Algorithm.  And, if they are?  I demand them being represented in Algorithm EVEN MORE!  Wait what was I talking about.  I forget.  Oh, right Algorithm EVEN MORE!  Now if only I could find out what that 2nd half of a second was a reference to I'd be on Cloud Nine!  Also Coud Nine what's that all about.  What's wrong with Clouds 1-8.  Or, for that matter, 10 and on.  I'm gonna be honest, Phrases Be Damned, I'd prefer ANY single digit cloud over Cloud Nine!  A nice Cloud Five.  That's the sweet spot!




Wait A Second

   True story!  Ended up having last 1/3rd of Its Digiorno It's Digiorno for lunch!  Got an abundance of options of Things To Watch When This Is over.  You know, like Whose Line Is It Anyway: Americana Version?  THat settles that.  LOL LOL I Get It its Pizza and it tastes good!  Welcome to my life.  I've had it UP TO HERE with the Lincoln Project.  Center-Left Media over and over again shit on Bernie Sanders who had popular ideas and support, and then cream themselves over Lincoln Project, who hav NO popular Democratic Ideas or support!  I'm not surprised.  I just thinks it's Extremely Shitty.
    Hey that's great just great.  The good news about having Pizza For Lunch (other than having Pizza for lunch!) is that I get A DIFFERENT Meal for dinner!  Maybe this time around Grilled Chicken and Soup.  Also, Project Lincoln?  Yeah Their Ads are OKAY!  They're not The Second Coming Of Shakespeare!  They're Just Fine!  And also based on Cartoons I'm underthe impression mot of the money they raise Just Goes Directly To The Head Guys.  And if A Carton Said it ITS PROBABLY TRUE NO FOOLIN!  The bad news is just finished mny Its Digiorno It's Digiorno.  I couldn't have pizza again tonight Even If I wanted To!  Closest Thing I could come up with was Hot Pockets: Philly Cheese Steak Maybe?  Definitely Some Flavor With Some Cheese And Probably Meat.
    Yeah!  The point is HBOMax has a ton of stuff I can wait to watch til I Have Marijuana to Assist Me Watching It.  Gotta figure that'll happen soon?  Biden gotta make Legalized Marijuana as part of his Campaign Premise.  People support it, it's good for people healthwise, it'll get votes because people support it... the point is I'm a single issue voter and that single issue is whether I get to absentee vote AND they also decide to COUNT my absentee vote but also If My Vote Could Accomplish ANYTHING It Might As Well be Me Being Able To Smoke Marijuana. That's MY Hot Take on politics!  I think I haven't ENJOYED marijuana since 2008.  I've tried it in 09-011, but it just made me feel worse.  But one would imagine I'm able to Feel Good About it again.  I imagine it!  And I AM, "ONE!"
    Actually, I dunno how I got it, probably found it lying on the sidewalk (TRUE STORY!  THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT!) in 2014  and I was like Hmm better smoke this and it was 1/4th pleasurable and 3/4ths Uncomfortable but the point is PROGRESS!  The pint is SURE I wish I had more Pizza But It's Just Not In The Cards As Of Now!  Dinner ain't for anouth 4 hours or so WTF.   The point is I'd be relatively lucky to have Orang Juice and Orange Soda last me through tomorrow night!  I can't drink Vodka Straight What Am I HERCULES: The God Of Thunder?  Probably not that is an amalgamation of 2 different People.  But maybe it's just the right amalgamation that describes Me And What I'm All About!
    The pint is Sleepy Donald Trump is a great, "Clap Back."  Like I said yesterday He ALWAYS looks like he wants to take a nap. Which isn't a popular position!  People are always like this dude is on uppers.  Maybe he is!  But more importantly, we can see Moment to Moment WHY HE FEELS Like Abusing Uppers!  Because Boy Oh Boy does this guy want to take a nap!  Jeez.  What else is going on and crap.  I'm gonna be honest-- It's Hard To Imagine Trump Sleeping AT ALL.  I know he wants to.  But if it's 3 AM you don't immediately go Trump Must Be Asleep Now! you go Trump must be watching Fox News Right Now And Starting To Put Together Next Day's ShitStorm Of Tweets.  Because he's a SICK SICK Person!
    Wonderful.  I dunno if Fox News is broadcasting at 3:00 AM.  Lets just say The Fox News In His Head is broadcasting.  Sounds about right.  The bad news is I'm Plumb Out Of Frozen Pizza until Friday.  Also I as thinging about the word Plumb over the last week or so and I FINALLY GOT TO USE IT!  It's a fun word.  That's MY hot take.  Also I'm RELATIVELY sure that Trump Is The Real World Lone Ranger and that's why when you see him without his Eye-Mask its a different color than the rest of his face.  He soaks up the sun for 90% of his face, while wearing his Zorro Mask, and then when he takes off his Zorro Mask it looks weird.  Although I would never say that to his face.  You don't wanna upset Fake Old Man Zorro!  Well, I do.  It would make me feel good.  But I won't!  Because it's just plain rude!
    Hah.  PLUMB.  makes me laugh!  Anyway last paragraph of the entry.  Just had a slice of Turkey.  And ys know what?  I'm on board with Slices Of Turkey!  I like to fantasize abbot a Post-Pandemic Future wehre we can go to Disney World and I HAVE A FAMILY and I'm like HEY EVERYONE We'er GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!  And my kids are like I REMEMBER READING ABOUT SOME SORT OF PANDEMIC ARE YOU SURE ITS SAFE?  And I'm like BEING SURE NEVER GOT NO ONE ANYWHERE.  I SAY LETS GO AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE CAUSE STONE COLD SAYS SO!  Now you know what Me Being a Father May Or May Not Be Like!  Best you find out now.  Anyway, what else is going on.  Maybe its weird or maybe its completely normal, but as a man, I sorta think I Can Be A Most Effective Father based on copying 2/3rds my Father and 1/3rds of My Mother.  Everyone needs a Occasionally Mother Father!  Especially based on my Father Mothers!  It's for the best is the point.
    Last paragraph1  Fascinating.  I mean, look, I'm, "The Man Of The House."  I am unequivocally The Father.  I'm just saying I'd adjust some of the parenting I got from Mother and Father Into One for my own kids.  Makes sense to me!  Like keeping Frozen Pizza stocked in the freezer to an absurd amount.  So absurd it should have its own Frozen Pizza Freezer it's the only way to go!  I don't get the premise of the title Whose Line Is It Anyway.  It's anyone's line!  That's what Improv Is!  C'mon Drew Carey GET WITH THE PROGRAM.  Speaking of Drew Carey-- Cleveland Rocks?  I dunno I'm gonna have to see a second opinion.  That's MY hot take on Home Cities From Drew Carey!  Anyway, hey, great, another entry in the books!  I'll se you guys later!




Sunday, July 19, 2020

Most Of The Time

   I'm sorry that I wrote these Titles for This Entry last night.  That's what I've been doing lately!  You may have noticed Titles Have Been Great the last week or two and now you know why!  I like Titles that are common phrases that show up Here Or There that are ambiguous in meaning and context.  Prove Me Wrong!  I feel Yesterday's Titles works well, though, because when I sleep I get to Dream of all the ways I can put these titles to work!  This isn't what I dreamt!  My main dream last night was Doing Alcohol Math.  Okay I drank this much (looking at bottle of vodka) over 2 days, I get to do 2 more of that plus 1/2 to last me a week... seems like I can do that at the same pace.  Also the Pace has been Not Great!  Too Much!  But, I dunno, whatever.
    Looking forward to some BBQ Salmon & Spanish, "Yellow," Rice.  That's exactly how they described it on the FrenchDirect packaging.  Spanish, "Yellow," Rice.  Look either it's Spanish Or Yellow.  Pick a lane!  I'd err on Yellow, I don't think FrenchDirect is importing this relatively cheap rice from Spain directly.  Then again, maybe It's Not Really Yellow.  In which case Spanish may be a more accurate adjective.  The point is I ate a small cold clump with my fingers (well with my mouth.  My fingers helped me get it into my mouth) and it tasted great!  Even cold!  What's going on in the wide world of wide worlds.  I get a lot of e-mails from Pizza Hut.  Probably trying to get my attention so they could solicit me to come up with a Campaign Promise for them.  It's Not Digornio It's Delivery.  That's a freebee!  You can have Ten More JUST LIKE THAT for a low low fee!  Sure you can pay me in pizza but IT BETTER BE A LOT OF PIZZA!
    That's a deal breaker!
  That reminds me I'm supposed to watch 30 Rock 1 Episode Reboot. I'll do that at some point one would imagine.  That reminds me what else is going on.  That Lucc Benson guy is a French Direct...'r.  Hey I was pretty close with That Name and also Him Being French. Luc Besson.  Three cheers for me!  Anyway I'm gonna knock some lunch out of the park in 1 or 2 hours.  Why is Knocking Balls Out Of The Park a good thing? Great.  Now we're Down a Baseball.  It's like that Sci-Fi movie The Sandlot but it's Actually Coming True In The Real World!  Hey I was right There Is A Movie The Sandlot and there is a plot point where they lose a baseball from it being Hit Out The Park.  The point is I Know ALL The References That I Know.  Two Cheers For Me!
    Well, great, what else.  I saw a video of John Lewis dancing (BEFORE death) and don't that beat all.  Such a serious solemn man (PRESUMABLY) but he knows how to cut loose, too!  Adjusting Daily Calorie Guidelines with the addition of Alcohol to the equation.  Someting along those lines, right?  The point is if I've learned anything from New York, no-reason-mail-in-ballots are all well and good but if the people counting them Throw Out 15-25% of them Well That's Pretty Fuckin' Rigged on its own!  And that happened in NEW YORK CIZZY.  Maybe all of New York Stizzate I DON'T HAVE ALL THE DETAILS.  Sure I'm proud of myself for coming up with New York Cizzy and New York Stizzate.  Who wouldn't be proud of that.  One cheer for me!
    Cool.  Idea for 80's rap song--  Hip Hop Hooray!  Now all wee need is Time Machine.  HOLY MOLEY Gremlins II: The New Batch is available on Hobo Max.  And so is Gremlins I: A New Hope, as well!  That Last Sentence Is Brought To You By The Fact Of Me Thinking Of It Last Night After Entry.  Everyone's Get Alodda This GREMLINS I: A NEW HOPE.   Everyone's gonna love this! Anyway, I dunno what's going on anymore.  Gremlins, in all honesty, were a pretty revolutionary movie.  Obviously they were one of the movies that made them start the PG-13 rating.  Which in and of itself is revolutionary.  But also just the premise Has No Basis in anything before.  Cute monsters that multiply if you get them wet, that turn into evil monsters if they eat after midnight... sunlight kills 'em...  We can look back at the entire English Canon and there was NEVER Gremlins At All until the 1980's! 



I Think You're Great

   I'm sure.  Anyway, I was thinking about how there's a large group of people who, like me, obsess over calories and weight and everything, and when Pandemic started, we were like well this is bad might as well loosen up on diet to stay sane and relieve stress.  But the point is at what point are we like OKAY NOW I'M EXTREMELY OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE THIS NEVER FUCKIN' ENDS.  There must be a time period where we're like, maybe anytime this summer or fall, we're like ok I've gotten used to this indulgent lifestyle but I can't be on board with being THAT morbidly obese.  Also sure I'm a guy who obsesses over calories.  I LIKE MATH.  I just told you I obsessed in My Sleep about Vodka Supplies for the next week! 
    Anyway I also had an interesting dream where, I dunno which came first, the dream or the real thing, but what happened was I dropped a roll of toilet paper in the toilet.  I told you about how I don't screw it on to Rolly Thing, I just leave it up right on sink.  SO anyway This Happened TWICE.  With only one possible roll of toilet paper.  Either it happened in real life and then I dreamt about it, or I dreamt about it and then it happened in real life.  No way of knowing!  No way of caring!  This is nothing at all!  But anyway this 1 roll of toilet paper is ruined!  Once paper goes wet, it never goes... back... wet/back, I could make that rhyme, JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE!  Uh-oh wetback that's a slur.  I DIDN'T MEAN IT!  I'M SO SORRY!  Once Paper Goes Wet, What Do You Expect.  Useless to you know!  Might as well throw it away Twice but Once was In Dreams.
    Ugh.  What else is going on and crap.  OMG OSMOSIS JONES IS AVAILABLE ON HBOMAX I THOUGHT THEY BURNED THE REEL TO THAT MOVIE SO IT CUOLD NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN!  I'm just joking I'LL WATCH IT AGAIN MYSELF!  It's got an Animated Chris Rock (Chris Rock is Often Animated If You Know What I Mean [animated personality] but this time around He's A Cartoon!) as well as... hmm.  Rotten Tomatoes has Osmosis Jonze at 55%.  I just kinda assumed, I must have picked it up somewhere, that this movie was A Joke and universally looked down upon.  SORRY.  I probably saw it between 3-6 times and based on memory Fine It's Fine Just Fine But I Can Sorta See What What Turns Out To Be Imaginary People Think When They Think It's A Clunker. 
    Also on The Dick Van Dyke Hour there was a plot point where one of the guys is mocking Dick Van Dyke's show within the show and is like that was a real Clinker.  And they use that word half a dozen times in the episode.  I presume that Clinker --> Clunker.  Funny how the English language works over time, right?  I think I picked up Clunker from Jimmy Pardo Podcast.  So either he's the only person who says Clunker instead of clinker (maybe it started out as a joke and then he just kept it?  That's One Way To Go!) or maybe Yeah Legitimately All Of Society Made The Switch From Clinker --> Clunker sometime in the mid 1980's.  No way of knowing without TIME MACHINE.
    I dunno.
  The point is I'm Kinda Pot Committed To Being Unhealthy during Pandemic Quarantine so if I have to become obese I guess I just have to become obese!  This is the life we chose.  HEY, YOUNG ROGER EBERT?  THIS IS YOUR COUSIN BARRY.  YOU KNOW THAT WORD YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR TO DESCRIBE A, "BUST," IN FILM OR TV?  GET A LOAD OF THIS!  Finally A Joke.  I was beginning to think I'd Never Achieve A Joke!  What else is going on and crap.  Anyway Legit SummerToRemember Franchises made available on HBO Max-- Harry Potter, Nightmare on Elm Street!  Anyway the 3 Kubrick films they have are 2001, Full Metal Jacket, and Lolita.  2 of which I couldn't watch, and 1 of which is kinda mediocre for a Kuberichard.  Which one's which!  Three Card Monte time.  You think you know which is the mediocre one BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA.  I was thinking Full Metal Jacket.  Like I said YOU HAVE NO... oh wait You Got It Well Done.  I remember thinking 1/3rd is great last 2/3rds are bogus as a kid.  PROVE ME AS A KID WRONG.   It's possible I got that perspective from reading a Post Pubescent Roger Ebert Review.  I Like Roger Ebert!  




You Know What That Means

   Sure I'll watch 2001 For The First Time.  Sure I'll watch Lolita.  It's not as disturbing as I found the novel!  We read it in Juinor Year?  ANd didn't find disturbing until Several Years Later?  I matured as an Audience To Books GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.  Thep oint is SURE if I had to pick 3 Kubrick movies I had no interest in THESE'D BE THE THREE but beggars can't chewers.  I like that B-b-b-b-bird bird is the word song that is a Plot Point in Full Metal Jacket.  I may have said this before but I always interpreted Full Metal Jacket as a Description of The Movie In Sequences.  1/3rd in Marine Training is Full, 2nd third is in Vietnam War and is Metal, and 3rd 3rd is There's A Shoot Out Or Something I Don't Have All The Details But Anyway is Jacket.  Looking back THAT MEANS NOTHING but but at the time I was like OH MAN CRACKED THE CODE.  JACKED IT REAL GOOD.
    I wonder what a Joseph Biden presidency would be like.  First things first, we'd have to deal with President Biden did This Or Something I Dunno I Don't Have All The Details He's, "President Biden," Now, Though, That's The Point I'm Trying To Get Across.  That was a Direct Future Quote from The New York Times.  I think Trump would be more popular if Trump Steaks was Trump Stakes and he was a pedophile vampire hunter.  Ya know, like what 1/3rd of his supporters already believe?  Also he's a Hunter of Pedophiliac Vampires.  He's not a vampire hunter who is a pedophile.  Well, as far as we know.  The science is still out on that one that we don't know for sure completely.  That's not a joke he could easily have had sex with teenagers as a full grown adult.  But that's probably FIFTEEN AT THE YOUNGEST C'MON GIVE THE GUY A BREAK.  The point is if Trump is guilty of it, 3/4ths of his supporters WOULD be like CMON 15 YEARS OLD GIVE HIM A BREAK I BET SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT MORE OR LESS.  AND IF NOT SHE PROBABLY STILL ENJOYED IT.  I KNOW I'D BE INTO TRUMP IF ...uhh just grossed myself out Not Even Finishing That Sentence.
  The good news is I learned about Foreign Languages from Full Metal Jacket.  Sucky Sucky Five Dollars means I would like to exchange oral sex with you for roughly five dollars more or less.  The point is YES there's a REAL CHANCE I will watch Osmosis Jones when this is over.  I wouldn't lie to you, I'd have no motive!  Anyway instead of having a late lunch I'ma have an early dinner!  Prove me wrong!  You'll find that Proof Of Wrongness is futile you might as well give up immediately before you ever even really started!  THAT'S NOT FAIR TO TRUMP.  HE ONLY HITS ON 15 YEAR OLDS IN HIS OWN FAMILY.  Well ya got me there.  Except for how Yes He Hits On His Own Family But Also Other 15 Year Olds.  Now I got YOU there!
    Hmm.  I think Trump is having trouble smearing Biden because everything he tries on Biden, He's Even More Guilty Of.  Mental acuity.  Creepiness.  Being, "Crazy," or, "Corrupt," or, "Sleepy..."  We don't really talk about Trump's sleepiness but half the time it looks like He REALLY Wants To Take A Nap.  Which I don't blame him for-- If I was Trump I also would want to lose consciousness, too!  Hell, I'm ME and I STILL wanna lose consciousness.  Sounds like fun!  The point is I've Lost Some Enthusiasm for #SummerDickVanDykeToRemember,  but I'm almost done with them anyway, so we'll jut let that play out for another week or so.  The point is I just finished Last FrenchDirect Croissant instead of a Real Lunch and Man Oh Man was it great and also Man Oh Man I ain't makin' that mistake of Bringing Croissants into my home again!
    Jeez.  I'm not a fan of how HBOMax doesn't have Jurassic Park-Worlds I can bingewatch.  I'm not a fan of lots of things!  That's just one of DOZENS of things I'm explicitly not a fan of.  Oh right I get to choose between Osmosis Jones and Gremlins II: The Empire Strikes Back.  Or, I dunno, the point is I got lots of options.  Point is entry is just about over.  Got some Cheez Its to snack on IF NECESSARY.  Got some Popcorn to snack on AT A FUTURE DATE WHERE I CAN SHARE IT WITH FAMILY.  I think I had a dream two or three nights ago they made a Guardians Of The Galaxy III.  Well, not so much a Dream that they made it.  A dream that I was WATCHING it.  Which, logically speakingg would mean someone (Or SOMETHING) made it, but the point was I Was Watching It.  Anyway, I'll see ya later.  Tomorrow, probably.  Gotta pretty good track record of Seeing You Tomorrow Based on The entries of Today In General.

-4:25 P.M.


Saturday, July 18, 2020

All I Have To Do

   I'm starting to worry how I never got any Follow Up Threat from the person/entity who hacked me.  C'mon I thought I had made a Pen Pal!  I mean, that's the most Information Specifically For Me E-mail I've gotten in years!  This guy knew stuff about me NO ONE KNOWS.  I like an entity that does its homework.  Anyway I'm really, "Into," this Roast Beef I got from Market: The Super One. I'm also, "Into," what else is going on.  I like how in Dick Van Dykes openings they alternate between Dick Van Dyke Tripping On An Ottoman and Dick Van Dyke Almost Tripping On An Ottoman And Stopping Himself Just In Time.  I think its clever, real clever, that show has done its homework!
Right?  Probably!  How's Generic Congress Poll Going.  Dems up 8.3%!  Over Republicans.  They're up Even More over other political parties.  Hey Dem Dems up 8.3%!  It's funny because it's clever and its done its homework.  Hey it turns out I HAVE HBO TO THE MAX!  Started Re-watching SEVEN SAMURAI: THE ENSEMBLE MOTION PICTURE.  I like it because you have to read subtitles so its the cultural equivalent of reading a book!  But with less effort!  Instead of your eyesight being totally engulfed in words, You Get To Look At Motion Pictures (And Audio!) and only have to Read ONE PHRASE AT A TIME.  I like having my reading parceled out for me!  They've done their homework!
    Also might as well make the most of the situation where There's Not Much To Do On My Phone For Now while the movie is going.  Might as well get to those movies I Really Should Be Reading And Not On My Phone For.  Yeah!  Exactly what is the market for Novelizations of movies.  Hey that movie was great LETS READ IT AGAIN BUT LESS GOOD.  Maybe its for The Deaf.  Hey I went to see this movie IN THEATERS WHERE CLOSED CAPTIONING WAS NOT AN OPTION and I have no idea what was said because ALSO I CAN'T READ LIPS YOU'D THINK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO BUT I NEVER DONE MY HOMEWORK so basically I have to Read Novelizations of movies right I forget whats going on again?
Sounds about right.  Went overboard with the drinking last night.  A solid TWO drinks more than I wanted.  But on the other hand whose gonna stop me YOU?  Right?  We had some Uncorked Bottle Of Wine for years and I wake up this morning and my Dad is trying to Un-cork it for my Mom.  So the point is I'm A Great Influence On My Parents.  Anyway, The Deaf have absolutely no way of enjoying Radio and Podcasts.  No options!  Maybe someone's transcribing Classic Radio and Podcasts but you certainly can't find a transcription of EVERY radio EVERY day!  Certainly!  Certainly not, I mean.  The point is I've Done My Homework!
    Sounds about right!  Anyway hey after this paragraph I get to take a break!  Also this section of entry Totally Without Alcohol!  Good for me.  I think I'll reward myself for my exceptional self control By Having Some ALcohol. It's the only Logical thing to do!  The point is I could probably risk logging back into twitter and e-mail on my phone.  I bet the Hacking Perpetrator is Long Gone he saw I put my foot down by not responding to him and he's moved onto greener pastures.  Anyway.  Meatloaf Dinner is Tonight not last night.  Lunch today is probably some sandwich and soup.  These are the important issues of the day!  Oh also Crazy Unknown Police rounding up presumed-graffitiers in Portland.  I'd have more to say on this story but I'm not sure if, Yes Most Likely, Portland Oregon, but MAYBE Portland Maine?  Which Portland heavily effects how we should think about this scenario.  Portland Oregon?  They probably had it coming.  Portland, MAINE?  I WON'T STAND FOR THIS SECRET POLICE ROUNDING UP MAINE CIVILIANS AND KILLING THEM PRESUMABLY OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ELSE REALLY BAD.  Not in MAINE do we tolerate this no siree!  In Oregon, yeah!  Maybe California.  It depends on WHAT PART.  AND NOWHERE ELSE!





Only One Way To Find Out

   Here's a "Save em up," I wrote last night (while inebriated)--  "Reservation For Seven?  The Samurai Party?"  One day I hope to find out what that means.  My favorite Samurai is That Guy Whose A Jerk And Is The Comic Relief.  My second favorite Samurai is the Great Head Samurai whose in many a  Kurosawa film.  My third favorite samurai is his apprentice.  Who may not count as an official one of the Seven Samurai.  Those are all of my favorite samurais!  Watched that Andy Sandberg/Palm Springs vehicle.  Part of it was a vehicle for Andy Sandberg and Part of it was a vehicle for Palm Springs.  Sure there was a Female Lead.  I don't know her name!  I looked it up BUT I FORGOT.  Oh, right.  I still forget.
  Anyway.  Got some Roast Beef Sandwich and Hearty  Savory Beef Barley With Vegetable Soup.  The point is I dunno about you but I'm missing Great Sandwiches.  There's only so many ingredients to a Great Sandwich I can buy!  I think I did this riff before.  About how mny biggest fantasy is a Subway Sandwich because I lack imagination.  Anyway, I dunno, lets move on.  The point is, with HBOMax, I can ACTUALLY HAVE an #HarryPotterSummerToSummer.  Uh oh I'm actually starting to get deep into Summer, only so many things I can Do With The Summer!  1/3rd into it and I've already accomplished 2.5 Summers.  1 Full Marvel and Parts Of Star Wars. and Dick Van Dykes.  This is one summer that I'LL NEVER FORGET. 
    I know each passing franchise assumes its own Hashtag, but all in all, it is and always will be A #MarvelSummerToRemember.  Oh, right.  Also #PandemicQuarantineToRemember.  My favorite part of Pandemic Quarantine is how, at any moment, we can start taking Addressing It seriously  in Ways We Know How And That Work, and have our lives back to 75% normal in 4-8 weeks.  We should have done it sooner!  We can do it now!  WE'RE NOT!  Sounds about right.  Oh well what can I do.  I can barely watch movies with subtitles.  I'M LOOKING AT JACKED TWITTER.  Also I accidentally said I was jacked or something an entry or two ago instead of hacked, but I liked it so much, I'm gonna say it on purpose from now on!  Sounds about right.  An old song of mine was called Cracks and part of the premise when I was putting it together was like Oh its a pun for Cracks.  Like when someone cracks into your computer.  I still stand by the premise that Cracking is SORT of like Hacking.  You cracked the code.  The code that should have kept you out of my computer.  You cracked it by hacking it and now I'm insisting that you're jacking it!
    Wonderful.  2.5 cups of coffee in, about to start drink #2.  Also I drank More Drinks than I intended to yesterday but I think part of it was I Was Pouring Smaller Serving Of Alcohol.  Sounds about right.  Anyway just saw a tiny spiderweb looking around my room.  I think we are creeped out by spiders and spiderwebs more than ladybugs for example because, no matter how small the web is, part of us is like OH NO WE CAN POSSIBLY GET TRAPPED THERE!  I KNOW WE'RE TOO BIG BUT ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN I SAW A MOVIE ABOUT IT WHERE THE MAN TURNS INTO THE FLY I THINK IT WAS CALLED FLYMAN.  There was once a third baseman called Travis Fryman.  Is that relevant to this nonsense?  The point is how many other animals set elaborate traps for other animals.  Physical Traps.  Not like oh I lured you in with this smell or something.  No PHYSICAL Traps.! I feel like there must be some legitimately that I just can't pull right now.  Oh.  Besides Humans.  Humans and Spiders, two trappinist peas in a pod.
    Anyway, great, just great.  There's a good 4 or 6 KurasawaSummerToRemember.  That's great, just great.  I'm Retroactively making ALL Hashtags #SummerToRemembers.  You bet.  Bugs Bunny sets traps for people.  So does Road Runner.  They're not Real people, though.  Only fictional people.  Also I wonder if kids these days have any idea about Looney Tunes.  As a kid in the 90's I still saw it here and there and ya know what I Could Do Without It.  I liked Tiny Toons, though.  Now you're speaking my language For Some Reason!  The point is I'd probably enjoy Looney Tunes NOW more than I did THEN.  Then again seems A LITTLE Too Looney for my tastes.  Not sure if I could even tolerate that degree of lunacy.  There was that time Looney Tunes CRACKED into the Gremlins II Main DataBase.  I wonder if kids these days are familiar with Gremlins II: The New Batch.  Which is exponentially better than Gremlins I.  Without thinking about it Then Or Up Until Just Now, Gremlins II was probably in my top 10 favorite movies as a child.  There's a Spider Gremlin Who SETS TRAPS FOR HUMAN.  True Story.  Well that it was in the fictional motion picture.  There wasn't ACTUALLY a spider gremlin who sets traps for Human in our Real World.




Let Me Tell You

        The point is I am PRO- John Lewis (his life not his death.  I am ANTI-Jon Lewis Having Died).  I am also PRO- RBG (her life and MAYBE her death if she waits half a year and Joe Biden Is President [just kidding])  And I am PRO- best way of honoring John Lewis is passing Recent Voting Rights Act he helped write, or endorsed, or whatever, the point is He Was On Board With It.  And its a PERFECT moment to make a big deal about it Because We Need It Desperately To Pass.  Or at least to imprint on the public consciousness that It Needs To be Addressed.  You don't want a rigged election and The Riggers Win and then people are like uhh I forget the point is We Don't Want A Rigged Election, right?  LOL that Crazy Samurai whose a jerk but funny He Really Gets Me Going!
What else is crappening.  Got Lunch Going Right Now.  Got Samurai Seven coming up soon when this is over.  I guess I can always Read Twitter On My Computer.  But then anyone in my room will see my Secret Shame!  Following Shameful People on Twitter!  You know, like What's His Name!  Nate Silver!  No one must know.  Anyway I did have a Drinksworth of Plain Vodka last night and ya know what goes down pretty easy.  Anyway.  What have we accomplished this entry.  PRO Voting Rights.  ANTI Secret Police.  PRO universal Summer To Remembers.  ANTI Knowing What Co Star In Palm Spring's Name Is.  PRO Gremlins II, ANTI Looney Tunes.  ANTI Nick Silver.  But If No One Is Looking PRO Nick Silver.
    Anyway.  Hey, great, what else.  I like me some meatloaf for dinner.  It's a Mock Family Meal.  Meatloaf is something Your Mom would cook.  Lol Burn.  Huh?  I leave Soup in FOR WAY MORE than the time they reccomend what of it.  They say four minutes?  I'm doin 5 and a half, six minutes!  Prove Me Wrong!  Its not so much that It Needs To Be Hotter When I Take My First Spoonful.  It's more It Needs To Be Hotter By THE LAST Spoonful.  If its room temperature by then, GROSS THESE PELLETS ARE ROOM TEPMERATURE.  Hotter it is from the start, hotter it'd be by the end!  It's Simple Physics presumably one would assume!  One day I hope to find out exactly what Barley Is. I think that was Te Plot Point in The Seven Samurai!  They were like if these bandits keep stealing our barley every year Whatsoever Will Happen To Us!
It's A Real Problem!  The point is if America gets EVEN MORE considerably worse over the next decade, fuck it, I'm Goin' To Japan!  I'd have to learn the language but Japan has A LOT going for it I'm not kidding!  The only bad part is There's Not Enough Room In Tokyo We'd Have To Sleep In Drawers.  But, really, it would be cool!  There can be a whole contingent of expatriates and we get our own slice of the culture!  The point is We've Got Options.  Plus, maybe I can find a Samurai that I can apprentence with.  No more samurai.  Tom Cruise was the last samurai.  Oh right I forgot!  Anyway I was just finishing my soup and it was JUST starting to cool down to room temperature but I finished it JUST IN TIME!  Sounds about right.
    Hey last paragraph.  Another fun filled entry.  I liked the parts where I talk about Real Things As If Anything I Say Could Make Any Sort Of Difference At All.  Doesn't even make me feel better to say it.  Makes me feel worse!  People don't want any political Hot Takes!  So I feel like there's a duty to talk about it to my limited audience and then I feel stupid for talking about it to my limited audience.  The point is I blame All The Samurai except for that Jerk Samurai HE'S MY FAVORITE.  I wonder what RASHOMAN is all about.  I bet this time around I Can Figure Out Whose Telling The Truth.  My detective skills have improved exponentially since the last time I saw that movie I Bet!  Now I'll be able to Really Figur Out What's Going On There.  Anyway I'll see you jerks later.

-2:49 P.M.





Friday, July 17, 2020

Nobody Need This

   I need to spend 15 minutes cleaning up my room.  Just got Supermarket Delivered along with Alcohol.  And now I'm like well its time to do some Spring Cleaning in my liver, feels wrong to not pair that with My Room.  Also first time I've been drinking Liquor since Early May or Late April Presumably.  Also, here's a hot take that I'm gonna get, "Roasted," for-- Ruth Bader Ginsburg is KIND OF overrated.  Maybe that's my White Male Privilege talking-- it probably is!  I mean I'm on board with her politically, she seems like a nice lady based on Absolutely nothing, and I commend her service to her country.  And I GET why they hype her up as an inspiration to Women and Women Jews Presumably.  But you know what IT AIN'T FOR ME AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT.
    Sounds about right.  I hope she continues to live though.  Also, all you people BUYING INTO RBG Hype, what percent of YOU are like Yeah She's Awesome!  I hope she lives another 6 months and THEN dies.  Cause if you are ya know what you're not a RBG fan you're a Liberal Supreme Court Fan.  Which is on par with What I Am in regards to this whole thing!  I don't know who a President Joseph Biden would pick as a Supreme Court justice but I'd Like To Throw My Hat In The Ring.  Which is an expression for some reason?  I imagine maybe like Proto-Wrestling.  Like there's a Big Wrestler Fellow just grandstanding in the Wrestling Ring for 20 minutes with no one else no dialogue.  Just a lot of pumping his chests and mouthing out stuff like (Whisper)*You Wanna Piece Of Me?  Whose Got The Guts?*(Whisper) and then Someone Throws Their Hat In The Ring.  To symbolize They'd Like To Participate.  Probably usually a scam.  Also I never go closure from Man On The Moon: The Major Motion Picture, if Courtney Love's character was In On The Wrestling Spot from the start.  The way they showed it was that She Was Real Audience Member who volunteered to wrestle Andrew Caughingman but that's probably taking some liberties, right?
    I hate these Anti-RBG judges who are TAKING OUR LIBERTIES.  Maybe that's an aspect to RBG-hype.  I forgot that hey they there's thousands, tens of thousands, judges and They Need A Hero Too!  Anyway so much Fresh Meals Re-upped.  We're talking Deli Meat, we're talking salmon meat, we're talking grilled chicken meat, potatoes, rice, meated loaf.  It's a real abundance of riches!  The point is I Don't Know WHICH Supreme Court Justice is my favorite!  The good news is I Don't Have To Make A Commitment One way Or The Other AS OF YET.  Also, if you're an all-out RBG fan, and am hoping she dies at some point over Next Democratic President... I ain't blamin' ya!  She'd probably feel that way too!  Or she could step down.  I'm stepping down to devote more time to spend with the cancer cells that are ravaging my body as we speak.  Lol Ripe For Parody!
Anyway, great.  Starting to realize I'm Gettin' There with #DickVanDykeSummerForTheAges.  Solidly more than 50% through!  So I got that going on for me is the point.  Haven't Had Good Rice in a while.  Figure lunch'll either be Sandwich & Rice or Salmon & Rice  It's a reaallll Abundance Of Riches.  Anyway the point is Started Drinking Vodka and I'm On Board With Vodka!  It really makes ya think.  Or at least try to think.  Failing to try to think.  Thinking is involved in some way is the point, Trying To Think At least.  Hey I also got CROISSANTS.  YES Crossaints French Science-Army Man From Godzilla: The Major Motion Picture.  Anyway if a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words is a Motion Picture worth.  Exponentially increase, right?  But do we divide Motion Pictures into Pictures by seconds, by frames, by how long a specific camera shot is?  The point is Shakespeare was all well and good but Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead is THOUSANDS of times as good based on Math.
I've never done parkour, but sometimes when I'm lying in bed, looking around my room, I start thinking I'd like to climb some of this furniture.  But in a Sportsmanlike way.  Not just try to get to the top (which can't happen, it'll end up falling on me.  Just sort of step from one to get a leg up on an adjacent piece of furniture and work my way to the top somehow through Sportsmanship.  Anyway what kinda gaslighting is Sportsmanship.  It means colloquially Hey being a Good Guy showing Respect to the other side no matter who won or lost.  Way Off!  Sportsmanship is how good you are at sports.  So you beat someone in a game of Connect Four how WE USUALLY SAY sportsmanship is you going ah good game you almost got me.  Fun, challenging time had by all that's the message of this game.  But a REAL sportsmanship would be like YEP BEAT YOU!  PROBABLY DUE TO MY EXCEPTIONAL SPORTSMANSHIP.  Also in this scenario Connect Four is a sport.  And the closest thing I could come up with that's a Sport for some reason.




I Don't Know What I'd Do Without You

   That's great, just great.  Supermarket sent me Double the amount of Salmon and Fancy Roast Beef I asked for.  Plus some potatoes I had originally asked for but thought I deleted!  Basically we did some Deleting but They Didn't Get The Message!  But on the other hand I'm like, well this is great, by the time this week is ending I'd still have An Abundancement or options.  Also why can't the Supreme Court rule on whether to cure cancer or not.  I know the Repubs want RNG to die as soon as possible, but if they cure cancer, that helps THEM in the long run, too!  Both because they might get cancer and this way they'd have a cure, and also, it would be VERY Politically Shrewd to support curing cancer.  Real clever triangulation there.  Gotta give them credit for coming out against cancer!
    Sounds about right.  So the point is today's lunch I'm leaning towards BBQ Salmon (as opposed to NON BBQ Salmon) and Potatoes No One Really Wanted Except For Me As A Fleeting Flight Of Fancy (as opposed to Potatoes everyone's on board with).  Anyway, I dunno.  I think its very Poltiically Shrewd for Biden to get involved in Texas because Texas has A Big Number of Electoral College Votes and presumably it makes no difference if he wins because if he does he would have won anyway and if he doesn't then he's risking his victory in other states.  But MAN OH MAN TEXAS IS A BIG STATE LOOK AT THAT ON THE MAP.  THAT BEING BLUE INSTEAD OF RED IS SOMETHING WE CAN ALL CELEBRATE REGARDLESS OF HOW THE REST OF THE ELECTION TURNS OUT!  Anyway.  Not even enamored with the number of electoral votes.  Just how it looks on the map.  Such is life!  As for me?  I dunno what to do one way or another.  I'm not very good at Sportsmanship when it comes to Politics!
    I think when you win Election the map should just show Solid Blue or Solid Red WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER NOW SHIP UP OR SHOE OUT.  That's all well and good if Biden wins but what if Trump wins.  WHAT RED?  WHERE I LIVE?  NOT IN MY LIFETIME.  So I talked myself out of that premise is the point I guess.  Sometimes I wonder if in Stephen King's Original Shawshank Redemption, if Red was actually an Irish Guy.  It occurs to me every Third Time I watch The Shawshank Redemption: The Major Motion Picture.  One day I hope to get to the bottom of this.  Either way, I think they did a good job casting Morgan Freeman.  Because he does become a Free Man at the end of the movie Spoiler Alert.  I like it when Our Names Mean Something.  Huh what was I talking about.
Also, if a picture is worth a thousand words, I will trade you ALL THE PICTURES I'VE GOT for 1,000 words over and over again.  You're a chump for making this deal.  I'd fuckin' give ya pictures for 100 Words!  That's how confident I am that I'm coming out on top in this transaction.  Also it's just just 100 random words meaning nothing.  It has to be at the very least a logical sentence or progression of sentences.  The truth is I've Got A Problem With Pictures And A Problem With Words and It's A Gambling Problem when it all comes down to it!  The point is, if we're behaving responsibly, we would know precisely what picture we're trading for/away for precisely what words.  Fairest way to go about it.
    Hmm.  Anyway, I dunno what else is going on.  Dunno what I'm gonna do with the rest of the day.  Hopefully Finish 50% of The Star Wars Still Left Over.  Now that I'm drinking again maybe I should go back to binging Intervention.  I could sort of fantasize that I have people who care about me and my my health.  I do.  They're called my parents Ever Heard Of Them?  Yeah I'm 31.5 Ever Heard Of 'em.  Also how to numbers factor in to a picture/word valuation.  A picture = 1000 words = 3500 numbers.  Man I kinda wanna see What's Behind Door Number Three what the hell are those numbers all about. 
    Sounds about right!  Also is it Just Individual Digits, or is it 3500 numbers that Each Mean Something Tangibly.  I was thinking just 3500 Digits, but if we're talking However-many-digits per Number and each Number is a thing HOLY SHIT NOW I'd Take like FORTY numbers per Picture.  Hopefully they're explicit about what Each Number Means, or maybe Each Number Means Something but we have to figure it out for ourselves.  I dunno.  I don't know lots of things!  Like if this is entertaining to anyone but myself!  I'm guessing Vaguely In A Strange Way That No One Can Nor Wants To Define!  Damnit now I can't get the idea of getting 40 Numbers and they each mean something that They Tell Me what they mean as part of the deal.




Probably Something Else

   This'll be the last section of entry Almost Definitely.  Anyway, if last week I was able to have 3 drinks a day with 1 day off, this week I can have solidly 5 drinks a day no day off!  That's definitely into Unhealthy territory.  But it's fun because it makes me feel good!  The real problem is I forgot to re-up my Soda Supply so I better get used to drinking Vodka without any soda or other mixer.  When I was Googling this type of vodka before getting it they were like hmm this brand can't really taste anything smooth is the point also this is all what the website said verbatim.  So I'll try that out today or tomorrow.  In the meantime, though, I'm gonna have lunch in about 30-45 minutes.  Also I can't wait to be done with Star Wars.  I liked the part when I was like this franchise has more surprise paternity/maternity reveals than AN EPISODE OF MAURY!  The point is people who go on Maury, in their mind, its like Going On Star Wars.  I'd figure out that bit But I Don't Want To.
Great.  I can't wait to see who Biden chooses to be his VPMate.  Because Biden knows ALL ABOUT the VP position.  He'd pick A Real Perfect VP no matter who it is.  Hmm, Biden thinks, I was chosen to appease White Moderates... how does that translate into 2020...  I'm sure Biden did a great job at VP.  There were the times after 2016 election but before 2017 coronation when there were Memes and whatnot about him and Obama Pulling Pranks on Trump for when he's president.  I think I saw Conan do that bit, at least.  The point is That Was The Culmination of his vice presidency.  Coronation?  More like CUOMONATION if Biden loses in 2020.  I'm full of great predictions.  Maybe Biden is thinking of picking Andrew Cuomo to appease the white moderates.  Jesus How much do these white moderates need to be appeased. Infinitywise!  Indefinitely!  Just kidding. 
I think people like me should be the ones appeased.  Sounds about right.
    I'm not on board with these Secret Police rounding people up and doing god knows what with them.  But then again, I'm not on board with the Non-Secret Police killing people and whatnot.  IIf only there was political will to Stop Some Very Quickly Escalating Clear Police-State-style Fascism.  Too Touchy an issue I guess.  First they want to not be rounded up and murdered for Protesting by Secret Police, what's next? Not wanting to be rounded up and murdered for protesting by Our REGULAR PLICE JUST DOING THEIR JOBS?  Makes sense to me.  The good news is I Have Never Been Rounded Up And Murdered as far as I know.  So I got THAT going for me.  Gotta count your blessings in this crazy mixed up world!
    As far as I can tell, the mainstream media is just going back and forth between Coronavirus and Police Protests just quick enough so that we can't mount any momentum and enthusiasm for Correcting Courses either way.  Just trading off between the two and somehow we get the sense well clearly we have two monumental crises going on But THERE'S TWO OF THEM HOW CAN WE ACCOMPLISH ANY CHANGE FOR EVEN ONE!  I CERTAINLY CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF TWO THINGS AT ONCE!!!  Also I'm projecting my own long-term-inner-narrative-of-how-I-think-of-things onto the mainstream media.  Sounds about accurate, though, right?  I can see myself watching some Interventions when I'm done with this entry.  Sounds about accurate, though, right?
Cool.  I'm having the BBQ salmon for the first time and you know what I'm on board with BBQ salmon.  Got some Meatloaf being made by Mother tonight for dinner.  Got 40% of the alcohol portioned out for the day still waiting.  The point is In Retrospect I enjoyed #MarvelSummerToRemember more than #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  And #DickVanDykeSummerForTheAges about as much as #MarvelSummerToRemember.  I don't get why you need a secret police to hurt and kill people, just join the regular police, they seem to have a foot in the door for that kind of engagement with citizens already.  No need trying do a Start Up of People Who Kill Innocent People just join the group that got there first!  Anyway, that's a fun way to end entries.  Well as unfun it is to end entries that way, it's EXPONENTIALLY more unfun to Victims of Secret Police.  I'll see ya later!

-2:45 P.M.




Thursday, July 16, 2020

Dear God Give Me A Decent Title

   That's great, just great.  24 Hours from Alcoholic Consumption!  Isn't Dying By Consumption Tuberculosis.  Which lets face it is the name of a Popular Music Album.  Look I consume a lot of things that kill me why give tuberculosis all the glory?  Especially when you ain't really doing any consuming at all.  Sounds dumb to me but I'm just one dumb man.  I'm gonna be honest for some reason, I always thought dying of Consumption was Alcohol Poisoning or something.  At least that works the element of Consuming into the equation.  And it seems like a PC way of saying it.  Ah My Uncle he hit the bottle a little too hard, died of consumption.  Also why is he hitting bottles, hard or not.  That's a sure way to hurt yourself!  You know that sort of thing.  Hitting bottles, eh?  Like Bowling.  But Beer Bottles instead of pins.  That's a good Post-Beer Pong Activity.  Beer Bowling.  Get some empty beer bottles, line em up, you use some sort of Ball to knock em over!  And the loser has to Eat The Bal.
    Sounds about right.  If I remember anything right over the year or two I would regularly play drinking games, one game that really stands out is Fuck The Dealer.  Because its not a fun game.  The rules and how it plays out are boring.  But also it's basically Getting You To Drink EVERY TIME something happens.  It's like look pick a number from 1 to 10, if I guess it, you have to drink.  But instead its like hey pick a number from 1 to 1, if I guess it, makes no difference, you've gotta drink anyway!  So in that sense it is a fun game.  They should have a Decathlon for College Students with lots of beer activities and the person who wins the gold medals HAS TO DRINK.  What's the Age Limit on Beer Pong.  You can't be in your 50's playing Beer Pong unless its a Back To School type movie and Not Real Life.  30's seems like a big stretch.  Early 20's is definitely okay.  Late 20's is a gray area lets face it.
    Anyway counting down the hours til alcohol consumption.  You know when you drink Malt Tuberculosis.  Sounds good to me!  Never was 100% on what Malt meant.  I know it could be in the context of malt liquor.  I think it has something to do with Sugar.  Cooking something in Sugar.  I may have picked that up from those 9 months I watched The Cooking Channels All Day.  LMLTURQ.  Well not Quite Sugar related.  But its a way of MALTING things I think that should sum that up really well.  Is drinking 40 Ozs a universal experience in college.  That's what we used to do Freshman Year.  Hardly ever beer cans or beer bottles.  Just 40 oz.  It's fun because Hey I can nurse this real well even while drinking from it all the time as Games Insist I Do.  Anyway.  Huh.
What else is going on.  Biden is back up to 9.1% over Trohnald Dump.  I knew if I checked obsessively Because I Got Nothing Better To Do some numbers would periodically make me happy!  AAlso look out for Donald Trump in Donald Trump Takes A Dump.  A new series of movies in his Classy Premium Scatological and Urinacational porn franchise.  I don't like this joke.  It almost humanizes him.  WE ALL TAKE DUMPS.  And I bet Trump's Dumps are totally unremarkable.  Oh well I Guess That's How Politics Go These Days.  Anyway.  Still haven't watch Hamilton.  Worried about American History Spoilers.  Yes I know it happened over 200 years ago I'm STILL NOT CAUGHT UP TO EVEN THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR YET JUST DONT TALK ABOUT IT AROUND ME.
      Didn't have breakfast at all so I can eat lunch whenever I want!  Thems the breaks!  Thinking about a Bagel with Some Creamed Cheese.  I was telling my Mom I'd be okay with some Spinach as a side for Meatloaf or Chicken Or Whatever Real Dinner we'd be getting.  She got creamed spinach. And she was like alright you're gonna share it with me.  And I was like WOOOOAOAH HOLD ON.  CREAMED ANYTING IS UCKING FISGUSTING.  Creamed Corn?  WHAT THE HELL THAT'S THE GROSSEST THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME!  But the good news is Sure I'll re-up some Melba Toast its good for the Salmon.  Nice piecelet of salmon on a piece of melba toast its a nice hors d' oeuvres that I came up with myself!  Independently of anyone else whose come up with it or something similar in the past!
    Sounds about right.  Also it IS a nice hor d oeuvre but I eat it as a dinner!  Just stuff my face with 10 or 12 of them at a time!  It's healthy because It's Fish!  Of course, though, Kings is the best drinking game for teenagers because its like OH MAN KING I GET TO MAKE A RULE SOMETHING SEXY MIGHT COME OF THIS!  What an exciting Card Game!  Still not goin' Readin' Twitter except intermittently on My Phone.  No E-mail on my phone.  A third thing presumably if there was/is/will be/will not be on my phone.  Oh.  Right.  Porn.  Still going with porn though!  What are the odds I misclick again!  Maybe if I misclick the two competing sets of hackers will have to have a battle royale to see who wants to try to scam me out of some money.  Jokes on them!  All the time they're busing trying to out do each other, hacking-wise, I'M GOING TO THE POLICE CYBERNET TRACKING CENTER and they're BOTH going down!




Still Waiting!

   I feel like I've done 1/2 of those Beer Games Etc bits before.  Its More Than A Feeling!  But what can ya do, Repetition is funny!  That's what no one led me to believe!  Its funny he's so dumb he doesnt realize he's been This Specific Dumb only just a few months ago!  Makes Me Laugh!  LOL see there's the proof!  I had to type it out!  OH here's a save-em up from a few days ago.  Star Wars Has More Shocking Paternity/Maternity Reaveals Than An Episode Of Maury!  Sure I could phrase it 15% better!  Sure I won't!  Anyway had two cups of coffee today and I feel like that's enough.  Will have Bagel With Creamed Cheese which is fun.  Cottage Cheese is like creamed cheese.  Well, not as much as cream cheese is cream cheese.  The point is Cottage Cheese grosses me out just like Creamed Vegetables.
    Hmm.  Fascinating!  The point is Sure I'm Paying More Attention to numbers and statistics re: upcoming elections than re: Coronavirus.  It's nice to think about scenerios where We Might Win!  I dunno.  Isn't there some way we can all speak out against Bullshit Going On To Not Stop Coronavirus and then people'll be like Hmm seems the majority of the public Wants Us To Put Forth Very Common Sense practices and restrictions and rules in place and whatnot.  On the other hand, we seem to b living in a society where we're like Yeah this sucks but WHAT CAN I DO!  I know Andrew Cuomo can do something.  I can Trump can do something [nothing].  As for the rest of us, All Just Innocent Bystanders!  I think the hope is that Andrew Cuomo becomes governor of every state and they're like well he fucked up royally at the start but then got us back on track.  Andrew Cuomo can't go to your states, though!  He's GOT THINGS TO DO like give nursing homes immunity from being held responsible for their malpractice in allowing Corona to spread.  MAKING THAT DECISION MONTHS AGO STILL TAKES UP ALL OF HIS TIME!
    It feels like Gun Control after a school shooting.  We talk about it in futility, kind of resolved to the (wrong?) idea that we can accomplish little as individuals.  The only thing different was at least then we were running into Big NRA, a very powerful lobbying group.  WHO THE HELL IS THE POWERFUL LOBBYING GROUP PUSHING BACK AGAINST FIGHTING PANDEMIC?  It's just some supreme morons and jerks and idiots banded together in power in an orgy of indifference, incompetence, and lack of imagination.  Anyway, so we got that going on for us, is the point.  The point is it's too bad Trump Steaks didn't work out because maybe if Trump was King Of Steaks he never would have wanted to be president anyway.  Then we'd have someone competent enough to Do Things That Are So Obvious And Relatively-Politically-Easy to fight this!
    The good news is BAGEL IS COMING UP.  I feel like bagels are good.  I like it when they slide down my gullet.  Often with Creamed Cheese or Butter.  Anyway I gave my Mom a cigarette last night.  On a whim I checked Behind My Desk and sure enough there was a spiderweb-covered Pack of Camel Blues.  With only 1 cigarette in it.  And it looked like The End Of It had gotten wet at some point based on its color but Felt Dry.  And I figured hmm 15% chance its wet from alcohol This Could Prove To Be Exciting Lighting Alcohol On Fire!  Anyway went back and forth on whether I should give her the cigarette-- I think she had been closing in on a week without it.  But that's not my roll to tell an adult what to do.  She asked for a cigarette, I gave her a cigarette!  And I can only hope she learns to reciprocate that mindset when I'm out gettin' alcohols.
    Sounds about right.  Mom is also starting to put out feelers on whether she wants me to take a walk and get A Lot Of Cigarettes!  Which at first I was like, ok cigarette store right next to a subway I can't go in subway and i certainly can't Get A Subway but maybe just being in proximity to Sandwiches can get me off to some extent.  I dunno, something along those lines.  The point is I'm gettin' it coming and going!  Coronavirus outside, 2nd Hand Tobacco Disease inside!  Whatever.  Saw an article about how elderly teachers are quitting and never coming back.  Either because they don't feel safe in Live School or they don't feel comfortable in Online School.  Sounds about right for what happened to my Dad.  Dumb People in Charge!  Teaching was as far as I can tell my Dad's favorite thing!  And now it's dunzo.  Now he's gotta figure out a new favorite thing.  To tell you the truth he's started walking around in circles Downstairs like his son upstairs.  I guess that's a fun hobby!





I'm Beginning To Doubt God Really Exists

   The point is I Think I May Have Access to HBOMax which means I can follow #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething with a nice #HarryPotterSummerForTheAges.  I feel like I've seen roughly Half of the Horror Parry movie.  Now I get to see them all over again!  Anyway, bout a 1/3 chance I'm making Frenched Toast tonight.  I like those odds!  I like those odds because I'm Fine either way.  I'd be happy if it was 100 to 1 odds, And I'd be happy if it was 2 to 1 odds.  I'm Happy Either Way the odds mean nothing to me!  I can't wait to get a New Clean Phone so I can waste more of my life on my phone than I would be otherwise.  I like those odds, too!  Great odds!  Anyway, my go-to joke for Drinking Games is and always will be, the premise of all drinking games is you need to drink as a penalty for something.  You're here to drink!  That's what you WANT to do!  Unless you're some sort of Date Raper and are like well I gotta do everything I can to get other people to drink But Not Me!  I need to be sober to properly take advantage of an inebriated person sexually.  In which case ya know what I DON'T WANT THI GUY IN MY DRINKING GAME AT ALL.  You're Not Welcome At My Beer Pong Table.
Wow!  Saw some Blue Check Mark Twitter people were hacked yesterday.  Is it possible I was jacked as part of that same operation?  My guess is no.  I can remember specifically where I got hacked presumably and it has nothing to do with me being Blue Check Marked!  Especially because I'm not Blue Check Marked!  Some poeple getting into touble with anti-Semitism.  I dunno about you guys but I'm PRO-Semitism or at the very least Neutral when it comes to Semitism.  After all Jews have done for us?  1) Gave us the Atomic Bomb (presumably that's just a guess).. well that's enough for some warrantd anti-Semitism.  LMLTURQ.  Einstein was a Jewish.  He was a big part of the Manhattan Project.  Case Closed Jews are responsible for Inevitable Nuclear War & Winter.  Gotcha!  Also I decided NOT to LTURQ.  Can't be bothered.
It's not Jews fault they are adept at science.  Science just has an innate Pro-Jew balance and What Are We Supposed To Do About It.  Anyway, the thing is, I'm near this entry being over so I'm Just Really Looking Forward To That.  Because by Next Entry I'LL HAVE ALCOHOL! 9.1% Lead Over Trump In Popular Vote Poll?  Why, THAT'S ALMOST 9.4%!  So close I'm fine with a 9.1% for now!  Sometimes I think back to 5 months ago when I was veyr anti-Joe Biden.  Well, I was always pretty neutral Joe Biden.  The Most Anti-Biden takes I had were how he repeatedly lied about being a Civil Rights Movement Person, and stuff like that.  But anyway now I'm Pro-Joe-Biden because what's the alternative there isn't one that's the point I'm trying to make.
Right?  Great.  Also yeah the physical affection he shows people can br pretty creepy but I have a very low threshold for creepy affection.  I could be at my uncle's at Christmas and hugging relatives to say Hello and I'm like I DON'T LIKE THIS.  Maybe I'm autistic.  Or whichever one of those can't stand physical contact.  And I'd love SOME physical contact.  Just not Relative Christmas Contact.  We're talkin' some Lady's Affectionate Physical Contact.  Glad I narrowed that down for you.  Anyway hey entry is getting very close to being over!  A solid C- entry!  Would I argue with a D+?  No that's warranted!  But a C- or EVEN a C?  I Feel Great About That!  Also some of the relatives on Christmas are Italian American and they always do the thing where you go cheek to cheek (from opposing sides) and either kiss you on the cheek or Mock Kiss You and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  Is it just a mock kiss? I'm not actually kissing them, right?  Either way TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT EVEN WORSE THAN A REGULAR HUG.
Last paragraph!  Dunno what I'm gonna do for dinner.  Maybe some sort of Finishing Frozen Pizza.  Perhaps some sort of Making Frenched Toast as previously alluded to.  A Double Dose of Hot Pocket.   DECEDENT BREAKFAST SANDWICH!!!  If its in stock at Fresh Direct, gettin a 4 count of Plain Croissants: The Decedent Breakfast Treat for tomorrow.  Anyway, I dunno.  Halfway through the day more or less.  Man oh man another day down.  I'll see you guys later.

-3:56 P.M.





Wednesday, July 15, 2020

They Said It Couldn't Be Done.

   They said it shouldn't be done.  And they were talking about NASA's trip into space!  What'd space ever do to you just leave it alone don't be a jerk.  Also Aliens Own Space.  How come there's very few movies where Humans are the clear antagonists to aliens.  It's always aliens Fuckin' Our Shit Up.  It's never Humans Just Declare War On Aliens For SOme Reason and start rounding them up and putting them in ICE Camps.  Illegal Aliens maybe, but that's different.  What kind of alien isn't illegal.  E-T!  He seems on the up and up.  Anyway E.T. was a parable and whoever the government agency was who was tracking down ET (I Have Never SEen ET) were a clear stand in for ICE.  And Elliot's flying bicycle was clearly a metaphor that Mexicans will be able to Fly Above Any Wall they put up.
    None of that is great.  None of it is good!  They said They Hoped It Would Never Be Done!  My impersonation of a racist white person talking to a slightly differently hued person-- GO BACK TO SOMEPLACE ELSE!  They're trying to conjure up hmm where did this person come from and then are like ya know what who cares mayb they wanna go SomeWhere New Entirely I wish them the best of luck Go back somewhere else!  Not sure what that means.  But it is a bit I wrote down late at night
either before falling asleep or after falling asleep a few nights ago.  Anyway gonna have an early lunch today.  We're talking not much after Noon O Clock.  We're talkin when I re-up with alcohol on Friday we're goin with Vodka!  We're talkin that means I can drink a lot more week by week than with 18 cans of Beer.  Anyway GREAT NEWS I made some progress with #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  Finished the Sequel Trilogy!  I Totally Watched TWO STAR WARS MOVIES last night.  Now all that's left is Han Solo's Day Out: His Very Own Star Wars Movie and Rogue One: One Day I'd Like To Figure Out What Context That Title Is In And Why It Makes Sense.  There's also TV Shows and Shorts and whatnot that I'm not gonna fuck with.
    Anyway.  My Mom got me sweat pants!  True story!  Also wearing these pants in the summer Now I Know Why They Call Them Sweat Pants TOO WARM NO ES BUENO.  Makes ya sweat!  Sometimes I think about what my life would be like if when my brother got me a Holiday Present a few years ago of What I Believe Is A Mandolin, if he got it Left Handed instead of Right.  I'd be Mandolinin up a storm!  Instead of Not Mandolinin well at all which is where I'm at right now.  Also remember the Iron Man III Villain played by Sir Benny Kingsley. The Mandolin? Lol its funny because we're all very familiar with Iron Man III and the words used to describe Ben Kingsley's character.  I assume you've been following along on my SummersForTheAges.  Everything I Watch, You Watch!  It's very possible that There's No Way In Hell that's an accurate scenario for anyone.  Except for me.  I really have been watching what I've said I've been watching!
    Hmm if I'm buying Vodka for the next week maybe I should be buying extra soda.  Makes sense.  Hmm if I'm Eating Lunch Right Now,  I should probably be buying extra soda.  Now that I know I Have A Track Record Of Eating Lunch 85% of the time, that's just more opportunities to drink soda!  Anyway.  I saw Solo: The Solo Movie back when it was in theaters.  Or maybe after it was in theaters on HBO.  The point is I Saw it and vaguely remember it!  This is good stuff,  If and When I Saw movies, GOLD!  What other movies have I seen in my life.  Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.  Matilda.  The Departed.  The Gate.  Harold and Fast Food Go To White Castle.  Really makes ya think.  The point is when I was a young kid I was a big reader.  Probably read Matilda once or twice, sure, what of it.  I vaguely remember reading at some point (As An Adult!) Roald Dahl turned out to be an asshole or something.  Conservative, or beat women and children, got his own lifeboat in the Titanic.  But my problem with Roald Dahl will ALWAYS be That Name!  ROALD?  C'mon.  ROALD DAHL?  A SLANT RHYME?  C'MON.  I always pronounced it Rahl, but then again, sometimes I pronounced it Rahld.  Now I Don't know WHAT to think!
I finished lunch that's fine.  I get to have dinner later anyway!  Anyway what's going on in the Wide World of Sports.  I think Baseball Dropped The Ball agreeing to do a 60 game season.  They'd have been better off waiting til next year.  Because, this way, its like, Hmm 60 games, this is very different than your normal season, not sure if I'm on board with taking this season seriously, now that I think about it, why do I take any season seriously.  You just lost yourself an imaginary customer!  Ya blew it.  I like baseball!  I like it when they hit the homeruns.  Man they hit that ball so far not even the outfielders can catch up with it!  I also like The Thrill Of The Strike Out.  This guy got several chances to hit the ball and he didn't succeed At ANY of them!  Anyway I'm gonna take a break.




Alright Now Leave Me Alone

   Awesome.  Hey great news I just got hacked!  I was freakin' browsing some porn a week ago and hastily was clicking around and I accidentally clicked Yes to some Do You Want Malware Installed On Your Phone?  I never would have INTENDED to click yet but Hey Good For Them They Got Me!  But the good news is they're trying to milk money out of me because they're like got video of you on your camera masturbating or something and I PUT ELECTRICAL TAPE OVER MY CAMERA.  CHECK AND MATE!  Also I changed my passwords to something else (I'M NOT TELLING!) so, really, I dunno what the worst they can do it.  Tell people I like porn?  First of all, OH NO!  Second of all, TELL WHO?  I'm not on Facebook anymore, I have three followers on Twitter, and my Phone Contacts... again, no one I really give a shit about.  Hmm.  Or nobody that gives a shit about me. 
    I just learnt an important lesson.  Nobody cares enough about me and I don't care enough about nobody.  Thank you anonymous stranger!  And because of Paranoia I ALWAYS sort of go into Internet with the assumption it might be read or be tracked or whatever.  Finally all that paranoia is paying off!  Also, if somehow Hacker(s) reading this? Well done better not send This Website to all my contacts!  You Don't Have The Guts!  It still steams my grits that One Misclick could get my phone hacked.  I THOUGHT THESE PORN AGGREGATE WEBSITES WERE ON THE UP AND UP.  Now I don't know who to trust!  Also there wasn't even any BENEFIT to the misclick.  It's not like okay I'm taking a risk here but if This Link Is Everything It Says It Is ITS WORTH IT!  I don't think it was anything.  So anyway Real Bummer.  Maybe they can somehow get out of my phone and into my computer.  In which case, pretty much the same scenario.  I need a new computer and phone anyway!  This'll just expedite the process!  All in all I feel like I'm coming out on top in this entire ordeal.
    Biden down to an 8.3% lead according to FiveThirtyEight.  Is it possible this hacker hacked into the election poll database?  Surely that's one possibility.  In e-mail trying to scam me out of some money, hacker knew one of my passwords, that's how I know its for real.  So I'm like look fine we can go halfsies on twitter!  If you want access to my account with something FINE I CAN SHARE.  Just you keep track of your friends and I'll keep track of mine!  Maybe between us we can earn a Blue Check Mark!  I should e-mail back, NO I HACKED YOU IT WAS ALL A SETUP NOW I GOT YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU!  But then again I'd rather just not engage with this guy again.  He's A CRIMINAL.  I don't associate with CRIMINALS.  Unless it's the closing track of Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP.
    If it wasn't for already having lunch, the combination of Passowrd Exposure and Joe Biden slipping in the polls would Really Steam My Grits.  But as it is, eh What Else Is Going On.  It is sort of jarring to see an e-mail, even though its 99% boilerplate, reference one of your 8 or 10 passwords.  HEY WHAT!  NOBODY IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT.  THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SCAM.  Well, yes, that's exactly what it is.  I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT I THINK THE SCAM IS A SCAM.  YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE ME WITH A SCAM AND I'M CALLING A DOUBLE SCAM ON YOU!  Anyway, I dunno.  One Misclick!  Gotta be careful out there on them porn sites.  Also I know that there's probably a lot of pornsites that you're in severe danger even WITHOUT a misclick.  Not my porn sites!  They're very well established and I've had no problems before!  My favorite part is they're like send me this amount of money and I'll go away.  yeah.  That makes sense.  They get a few hundred dollars out of you and they're lke well that transaction went through fair and square!  Have a good one, nothin' personal!  Lets keep in touch AS FRIENDS.
I dunno what else is going on and crap.  Also part of the grift was, in the boilerplate, acting like they're shocked at The Kind Of Porn I'm Looking At.  C'mon.  NOTHING on a well established porn website is THAT crazy.  There are Porns that are crazy and often illegal.  Not on these websites THEY're WELL ESTABLISHED.   Also I kinda like the idea of this guy sending Porn Information to contacts he's scared up somehow.  Hey now they know my Secret Shame but MAYBE THEY'RE ON BOARD!  WE HAVE THE EXACT SAME SECRET SHAMES ME AND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  You just did the hard part for me!  Now not only do we all relate to each other but maybe we can get together after Pandemic to Perform Some Of Our Secret Shames TOGETHER. 



Are You Still There?

   Sounds about right.  I'm sure there's some real negative consequence to this crap that I'm not thinking of right now.  Gotta be, right?  Well I'll Keep You Updated On This Situation As It Progresses.  In the mean time, changed passwords to everything I could think of (To passwords UNLIKE hacked passwords-- not the smae password), but am hesitant to go back with those things On The Phone At All.  No mail on phone.  No twitter!  JUST MY LUCK I MADE A HUGE TWITTER CHANGE LAST NIGHT.  I added half a dozen people I Always Read, specifically people who would then Branch Off into Other People I Always Read.  Not just 10 comedians.  Maybe 2 comedians that branch OFF INTO 30 Comedians, and 2 Politics People who branch off into THREE DOZEN politics people.  That kind of stuff.  It's called STRATEGY.
    Whatever.  The point is that means a lot less noodling around on my phone for now.  Which is a good thing one would imagine?  Someone even added me on twitter!  They must have liked how I've made 3 tweets in the last two years.  They like their privacy, they don't like to be bothered, that's why they follow All The Intermittent Tweeters.  All they need is a taste every now and then!  In my head, if Hacker sends some sort of sensitive information to someone on my Phone Contacts List, I actually imagine a best case scenario of Oh that's Michael, right, I wonder how he's doing!  This guy is doing me a huge favor, reconnecting me with old friends and family members nad doctors and whatnot. THEY MUST KNOW ABOUT HOW I'm DUMB ENOUGH TO GET HACKED.  That's the real thing, right?  Consequences are all well and good but the real shitty part is I Feel Dumb.
    I TOLD YOU MISCLICK.  IF ONLY I HAD SPENT MORE TIME PLAYING CLICKING VIDEO GAMES!  Maybe he has the thing going where he can see a mirror of whatever I'm looking at.  And hopefully there's an Audio Mirror, too.  So when I'm listening to The Uppers he's like hey this ain't bad!  It's a perfect scam ON MY part!  Another idea-- respond to his e-mail with OH YEAH I JUST HACKED YOU  Now YOU Owe Me Money WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT!  That'll Scare Him Straight It Will.  Hacking is al well and good but you gotta imagine there's NO safety on The Hackers' Dark Web.  Just people hacking each other until One Ultimate Hacker Emerges and He Goes On To Face the WWE Champion at SummerSlam for a chance at the belt. 
    Cool.  Is it possible this is Russia.  Well I Guess.  But if they were hacking for socio-political-economic reasons, dunno why'd they  Blow Their Cover just to ask me for a grand.  Seems like Not Great Strategy On Their Part, right?  Ya know what I Kinda LIKE this new Post-Hacking Lifestyle.  Watching TV with no phone!  That's it!  Check twitter half a dozen times a day on computer, that's it!  RELAX AND LET THE HAN SOLO SOLO MOVIE TAKE ITS COURSE.  If I Was Hacker, I'd just play it cool for months and years until The Phone Man enters in some Real Sensitive Financial Data.  Instead of being like I'm gonna show your, "O," face to people unless you give me some money!  OH REALLY I'D LIKE T SEE YOU TRY CAN YOU SEE THROUGH ELECTRICAL TAPE I DIDN'T THINK SO!
Here's a good way to respond-- e-mail them back and be like well this is quite a predicament, you got me over a barrel here.  Maybe we should meet up for coffee to discus the specifics of what you're after.  Do you live nearby?  Maybe you wanna get a drink instead?  Just to see the response.  Because there probably isn't a Boilerplate Response for Victim Wants To Be Friends.  THEY HAVEN'T MET MICHAEL J. KIR#BO***.  What's with these poeple with J initials.  Homer J Simpson.  Michael J Fox.  Donald J Trump.  Lindon Jains Bohnson.  Anthony Junior Soprano.  Alll the Juniors.  Anyway, another entry down!  Also there should have been a way to delete whatever crap I downloaded by accident.  I obviously spent 10 minutes Back When It Happened initially, and now with this e-mail, it came up again.  Couldn't find any way to delete any possible thing.  Thanks a lot you Dumb Phone.  That'll do it for today!  See you tomorrow!  From My Computer!

-1:23 P.M.




Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Don't I Know It

   One Single Save Em Up-- Cold Cuts are most often room temperature.  That'll start the entry off mighty fine!  Anyway, how's #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDykeSummer going.  Closing in on 1/2 way through the #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDykeSummer.  That's a lot of typing to do without using Copy and Paste.  Really reaches the level where it's a toss up whether to copy and paste it.  Anything more, seems kinda intuitive.  Anything less, no way am I copy and pasting that.  The point is sure there's some Levels More where I wouldn't copy and paste.  Maybe once it gets to twice as long as #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDykeSummer, then I'll start using Copy & Paste.
    Good idea for a sitcom of someone who works as an intern in an office and someone who Eats Paste.  They bond over their mutual love of Computer Commands.  Police saying, "Copy," and someone copies Him.  I've been watching too much #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDyke Summer.  AA key part of the plot is Bad Jokes.  On account of they're joke writers, often struggling for inspiration.  But the point is, over time, we get conditioned to kinda Like The Bad Jokes, so Good and Bad in regards to jokes Start To Lose All Meaning!  I was looking into Mary Tyler Moore IN A NON CREEPY WAY and turns out she was a Republican Fox News Viewer late in her life.  Well there goes that.  Well, she's dead now.  Well there goes that.  And also she is 50 years older than me.  Well that could be worked around. But the DEATH THING, that's a bridge too far!  No dating Dead People!  Rule #1.
    I think not enough attention is given to Necrophilia.  Ahh it's a victimless crime.  Is it, though?  What about the families?  Maybe the families are the Necrophiliacs.  That sounds fair.  Well, not any family member.  You don't wanna dig up your uncle to have sex with.  But if its your husband or wife, I can look the other way on having sex with their corpses.  Seems reasonably they're just trying to work their feelings out.  A long term relationship with a dead person, though, even if you were married-- that's also a bridge too far I Look Down on that scenario.  Throgs Neck Bridge is not a bridge too far it may be the closest bridge to where I live.  Sure as a kid I thought it was Frog's Neck Bridge.  I feel Everyone Thought That As A Kid Who Was Aware Of Said Bridge.  Connects Queens to The Bronx.  Often the simplest way to get to Manhattan Through The Bronx.  So I've been told.
    Huh?  Oh, right.  Only 2 beers left for the next three days!  But that's not so bad I went 2 months without Any Beer I can go two days without Any Beer especially since I Know I Have Future Beer To Look Forward To!  Anyway, some guy breaks into cemetary at night, there's a night watchmen, the guy is digging up a grave plot.  Hey I know you wanna have sex with that corpse BUT YOU CAN'T!, says the Security Guard. and then the guy is like No its okay I'm just digging!  I just get off sexually from digging!  And then security guard is like well why does it have to be Here!  You couldn't have picked A Worse Place!  And the guy is like IT ONLY WORKS IF THERE'S SOME STAKES TO IT!  Fascinating.  #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDykeSummer.
    What else is going on and crap.  Dick Van Dyke is still alive and very anti-Trump.  So I guess I'll just shift all my affection for Young Mary Tyler Moore to Young Dick Van Dyke.  Well, SOME of my affection.  Depends on how we're defining my affection!  And how much of it!  Anyway, jeez.  I I eI enjoyed Not Rationing Out Beer Quite As Well As I Should Have because it reminded me of Not Rationing Out Marijuana Quite As Well As I Shuold Have.  It's fun!  Because I remember the memory of it being like well I should save this... but I'm not... but Hey I'm Having Fun Anyway Not Saving It!  On account of This Fun Drug!  Anyway I'm gonna take a break.  Be back in a bit!   




I May Not Know It

   #CancelCancelCulture.  #CancelCancelCancelCulture.  #CancelCancelCancelCancelCulture.  Hmm so what are we up to.  Canceling the cancellation of the cancellation of Cancel Culture.  I believe we worked our way down to Culture.  And as we all know Culture is something that's completely static and never changes, unless Cancellers have their way.  Where we are in culture now is RIGHT WHERE IT SHOULD BE FOREVER.  Thank god we cancelled the culture of the 1950's but NOW I HOPE WE'RE DONE CANCELING FOREVER THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT OUGHT TO BE.  I think people against Cancel Culture just Don't Like Culture To Begin With.  Hmm Good Paragraph Really Makes Ya Think!  Oooh boy I'd like to Cancel Culture good.  You wanna be cancelled, don't you culture?  Oh man imagine digging a ditch and canceling culture at the same time!...
I understand that it means more, "The Culture of Canceling," and not, "Canceling The Noun Of Culture."  But are the two really that different?   Basically these jerkdummies are against the Culture of Canceling so in essence they're the ones who want to cancel culture!  CULTURE IS WHAT'S CANCELING CULTURE! IT'S WORKING ITSELF OUT!  THAT'S WHAT CULTURE IS!   Both Verb and Noun definition
 mean a similar thing, and they're both really dumb!  What else is crappening is the point!  Brought up Beer #1 of 2 to my room!  I will commence drinking that right now!  For some reason I'm gonna take a Klonopin, too!  Just seems like it'd be fun.  I think when I was doing open mics I didn't think hard enuogh about what I was doing to my body.  Drinking 3-5 beers each night, along with 1 or 2 klonopin and 2 or 3 ritalin.  Looking back hey Hey I was KINDA fucked up for that but at the time I didn't realize it.  I thought I Was Just Normal Where I Wanted To Be.  And maybe I was!  It's just that Where I Wanted To Be was equivalent with Someone Who Has A Problem.
    So the point is LETS DO THAT AGAIN!  I wI wonder what TV Channel #DickVanDyleSummerToDickVanDykeSummer was originally on.  1st guess-- NBC.  2nd guess-- CBS.  3rd gues-- ABC.  4th guess-- wasn't on any channel it was a radio show.  They shot it with TV cameras and whatnot but that was just for private fun use.  Public consumed it only on radio!  FUCK CBS I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE HAD CBS BE MY FIRST CHOICE.  Well, its out to the barn I go!  That's Where I Keep My Noose!  My suicide Noose!  Sure I keep my noose in the barn.  I can't keep it in the house!  I'd be Too Tempted!  Jeez.  I dunno if this brain washing is still going on, but I think part of me, even being a child of the 1990's, sort of thought of Oh Barn People, Farmers, those are the Real Main Americans.  I may have just thought that in regards to history.  But even in history I think that Card Is Overplayed.  Part of it is Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark.  A lot of those stories were based around farms and rural areas and whatnot.  That's where HORROR comes from!  Ol' Noosey Out In The Barn, attracts ghosts and whatnot for some reason no one is really sure of. 
Also you can't leave a Noose out where a Kid might find it!  They're inevitably gonna want to play Hangman and BOOM broken neck.  I dunno if this brain washing is still going on, but I think part of me, even being a child of the 1990's, kind of thought Dying By Noose was being choked to death, and one day learned nope it breaks your neck, and I was like oh man what a great bit of trivia! I must remember that so I could have a conversation about it At Dinner Parties.  Also The Dick Van Dykes have a LOT of dinner parties.  I've never had ANY dinner parties.  I once went to a friends house with my family for Passover.  Once. That's About It.  I think I'm gonna forgo the Klonopin today.  Because I'm A Health Hero.
Anyway.  Looks like 1 Meal today will be Turkey Sandwich + Delicious Gross Soup, and Other Meal today will be Faux Fast Food.  We're talkin 2 White Castled Hamburgers, we're talking five or so chicken nuggets, and we're talking some Frozen Frenched Fries.  The 2nd is more convenient to eat during Writing Entry, but I want the 1st one more.  Soup is no good to Eat Entry With.  Gotta pay too close attention to the soup.  If you're not, it'll go cold!  And then it's back to Just Plain Gross This Soup Of Mine!  And it's hard to just Put Down Soup Spoon for a while.  You take a Spoonful Of Soup, its hard to be just like alright that's enough of that for a while.  No you need MORE and MORE!  I forget what I was talking about.  Oh.  Cancel Culture.  They're trying to Cancel Cancel Culture.  Which is Dumb Dumb Dumb.




Somebody Must Know It

   ...Just Took a Klonopin actually.  Cause I'm Not A Great Health Guy.  Incels.  Yes we can.  Yes We Cancels.  Really makes ya think.  Trying To Think Of A Way To Put It Into Logic.  It's damn near impossible.  Anyway Faux Fast Food Late Lunch in about 45 minutes!  I don't believe it.  I like The Economist Forecast for General Election.  Right now they had it at 92%/7% for a Biden Win Over Trump.  Ha that last 1% really gets me going.  If it was 92/8, I'd still Like Those Odds, but just knowing that Trump Odds are only Seven and NOT EIGHT Percent?  That's the ice cream sauce on top of the sundae!  What's 1 over 7.  Because whatever it is, that's the Percent That Trump lost due to this 1% uncommitted!  LOL over 14%.  Whatta Chump!  President Trump?  More like President CHUMP.  The point is Biden is THEORETICALLY at 8.9% Lead but I bet he's bordering on a 9.0% based on my own calculations!  #PresidentChump.
    Anyway, what else is going on and crap.  7/14.  I feel like that's a thing.  Next year Today'll be 7/14/21.  That's multiples of 7.  Also look out for my new Yearly HBO Comedy Show Next Year Today.  I'm Full Of Great Ideas!  Because of Pandemic, I can't even fantasize about having a Comedy Writing Job.  Whatta scam.  Doesn't seem right!  I guess I could have a Comedy-By-Mail job.  But it's just not the same!  Also I don't mind being exploited!  If you said hey we're gonna put your joke on The Television Set And Pay You Nothing I'd be like GREAT will you at least give me credit?  Just written credit?  No monetary credit? and they're like Nope and I'm like GREAT I'LL STILL TAKE IT!  That'd be a Flip-em-up for Trump Supporters.  Who are Incels.  Yes We Can-n-cels.  I'm gonna have to revisit this one so it makes sense.  Also At What Age Is It Right For A Boy To Identify With Incels.  Obviously, 11 years old, too young!  Nobody's Gettin' Any except for Victims Of Rape.  23 years old?  That's a solid Incel!  But where do we draw the line!!!  I hope they're having academic discussions about this in Health Class.
    I dunno.  What else is going on and crap.  What about all those VolCels.  The voluntarily Celibate.  How come they're not a group that needs special attention.  The point is the whole idea and framing and exploitation of those Incels gives MANY OF US REAL in-celibates a bad name!  That's how I feel and I don't care who knows it!  The point is We Are All Incels Now.  Double Meaning Meaning The Same Thing!  I think I did that exact joke a month or two ago.  But, hey, Here It Is Again for your convenience!  Man that Klonopin and Beer is really slowing my heart rate down!  Presumably.  That's what Internet told me would happen and I don't find The Internet to be one to Speak Out Of Turn.  Unless Alexa thinks you're talking to her.  I had  a classmate named Alexa from Kindergarden Through, I dunno, 5th grade?  All the way to 8th grade?  And the point is of my ~31 classmates of that time I know Very Little about Alexa and engaged with her even less.  Just never made an impression on me!  I Don't Care I'm Lettin' It Hang All Out Now!  Sure I'd say her last name but I'm not even 100% Sure SHE HAD a last name.
Why.  I saw Ivanka (Trump) is setting up a program for those put out of work to find a new job in a new field!  I'm hoping she's gonna teach us how to get jobs at the White House By Being A Direct Relative of Trump.  How do we forge some Birth Certificates to make it look like we're related to Trump?  Then we'll be taken care of.  Well when you put it that way It Sounds Down Right Criminal!  And at the very least reckless, immoral, and irresponsible.  That wasn't my intention!  My intention was HOW CAN I FORGE A TRUMP RELATIONSHIP I NEED TO PAY FEES FO MY FAMILY.  DISNEYPLUS FEES.  NETFLIX FEES.  ALL THE STREAMING SERVICE FEES!  There must be some chance we live in a Pretty Decent future and we're all like Hmm, that Trump Presidency, lets NEVER DO THAT again!  Probably won't happen, not to the degree we'd want.  But it couldn't hurt to dream.  Unless you die in your dream.  Then you're dead.  I've probably said that several times And I'll Said It again!
I don't buy into Trump only having a 7% chance of winning election.  But I do think he's a severe underdog, but that could mean even just a 20% chance he wins, that's totally plausible and wouldn't be a shock Mathematically.  So the point is we all must unite against Trump.  Call it a, "Popular Coup."  Hey this majority of people are trying to beat me in an election THIS WILL NOT STAND IN A DEMOCRACY!  Sounds illegal, right?  It's Presidential Harassment!  I think there's some innate part of that phrase where it betrays Trump's thinking, IM THE PRESIDENT BOW BEFORE ME ANYTHING LESS IS HARASSING ME I'M THE ULTRA RULER IN CHARGE!   A SOLID CLOSE TO A MAJORITY OF VOTERS SAID AS MUCH ALMOST FOUR YEARS AGO!


I Live On This Website Two Hours A Day

   Oh well.  Maybe a bonus paragraph or two.  At this rate I could have had the Soup Meal anyway.  Oh well.  Now I get to look forward to dinner tonight.  Which is the Soup + Sandwich.  Anyway better start working on some notes for Next Year Today.  I think its possible-- not likely, but possible-- that Pandemic teaches us We Can Live A Reasonably Close Lifestyle to what we're accustomed with And Fight Global Warming to an extent that's socially, politically, and economically sustainable.  What other lesson can we learn?  How about No Lesson.  Yeah but where's the Lesson in that.  Hey this chicken nuggets are pretty good!
I wonder how Dick Van Dyke is doing.  Probably find out after this paragraph.  I haven't seen them deal with Necrophilia yet.  Figure that's Ripe Ground For Parody!  The point is YES I wish I could watch a #SpikeLeeSummerToRemember but the logistics just aren't there!  Alright.  68 or so Hours until next drink.  Well when you put it that way It Sounds Like Nothin'!  I'd be asleep for a solid One and a Third Days Over those 3 days!  Sure I sleep 10-12 huors a night Get Off My Back about It. Hmm I wonder if I can buy, "Spirits," from FreshDirect.  Hey they do sell Spirits!  I'ma switch it up to Spirits for the next week!  I Ain't Fraid Of No Ghosts!  Yes I am.  Ghosts terrify me.  What if there ARE ghosts?  And their main purpose in Life is to Terrify Me?  Sems like the only plausible scenario!  I'll see you guys later.

-4:20 P.M.





Monday, July 13, 2020

I, Like Me, Like Me

   Fascinating.  Idea for a 1960's sitcom/1970-80's rock band crossover-- Dick Van Halen.  Wonderful now it's all worth it.  Ya know, Life?  I think the song I'm most familiar with from Van Halen is the cover of You Really Got Me: The Popular Music Song.  Got an appointment with Endocrinologist fo this Thursday that I have to cancel.  If I don't cancel it, who will step up and do it for me?  nobody that's who!  It's so hard to get good Help.  Also if I Had The Help like in that Popular Film Production #1 responsibilities-- Make and Cancel all my appointments.  WHy do they have to make them in the first place only to be cancelled later?  I Get Off On Having Appointments Scheduled That I Don't Have To Go To, that's why!  Pretty obvious reasoning, totally plausible scenario.
Also I know that's supposed to be a White Savoir movie, but from my recollection (which is probably wrong), its just like hey this young white lady is gonna write about your negative experiences being Some Sot Of Helper Or What Not Presumably.  Great what does that do.  Hey people are reading about this and enjoying it and maybe its changing a few minds about how we treat and abuse Helping People, but what good does that do THE HELP.  Also calling them, "The Help," is directly framing them as Other Than Most People.  They're not Just People they're THE HELP!  Very dehumanizing and don't give me some that's not how it was intended give me some that maybe wasn't how it was intended but That's Instinctually how its read for some people GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.
Hey maybe its just referring to Emma Stone as The Help.  That's even worse!!!  The point is I know that movie got 13 Oscars and I think they should have to return every one of them except two which, c'mon, let's let them have At Least Two Oscars They've Learned Their Lesson!  They're sorry just look at 'em.  12 Angry Oscars.  That's the Sesame Street version of Spiderman: Some Spider Verse.  Oscar is Accurately, "Angry," its synonymous with being a, "Grouch," more or less.  Also I was never on board with Sesame Street because who am I supposed to relate to here.  Oscar lives in a garbage can and is a jerk, okay, not relating to him.  Big Bird is a horrifying six foot bipedal bird, I want no part of that!  The Count is a Dracula, no kids WANTS to be a Dracula.  Burt and Ernie are just plain WEIRD.  Cookie Monster is a monster with an eating disorder, and Grover is also a monster and, lets face it, a snooze.  I guess Elmo is the closest you can get to someone kids can latch on to.  Alright I guess I'm on board with Elmo, glad we figured this one out. 
    Well, they're ALL monsters I guess.  I dunno, what else is going on and crap.  I always related to that Bob Ross and/or his successor I forget what their name was.  LMLTURQ.  I dunno.  The point is he was some guy PROBABLY NOT Bob Ross who painted stuff on a canvas and You Watched Him Do It.  I enjoy this for some reason I can't define.  Maybe because I only saw it when I was home sick from school.  Which for the most part means I Was Just Home From School we can drop the, "Sick," act.  Also Home sick from school What The What who goes to school and is like MAN I MISS HOME!  Some people?  Especially kids with tumultuous home lives?  I dunno Sounds like a scam to me.  La La Land?  More like LA LA LA END.  I made that joke a year or two ago!  This time presumably phrased it to be 13% better!
    I feel like I made some progress watching stuff but not #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  Might have been went back to some Interventions.  Coulda sworn a movie showed up last night or something.  I won't Sworn this time around not 100% confident about it.  Anyway.  Lunch today gonna be some sandwich with some side.  I don't have all the details yet!  Yes I Do. I just didn't wanna bore you.  So basically I'm A Hero This Paragraph.  Is it possible I was watching a Bob Ross but under a different assumed identity?  Maybe he had to go to the Witness Relocation Program, couldn't stand to be away From His Work, and went back to Painting For Kids TV Shows with a new Name And a new Face.  It's the only PLAUSIBLE way to explain it!  I've Seen Those Paintings Of Sail Boats Before  WAIT A SECOND THIS MUST BE...
I think I think the Bible was on to something but then they had to turn it into a White Savoir Book.  Pretty much That's What Happened, right?  Except for the Bible being on to something.  They're wrong about everything!  I'm just kidding Bible is right about 20% of things.  None of The Stories, about a good Half Of The Morals Of The Stories And Whatnot, that'd be my guess.  My favorite self-referential story is The Tower Of Bible.  It's about people who couldn't decide what language the Bible should be in and then God struck down the tower they were building to God.  Presumably because he was feelin' some pressure.  Oh man this tower is gettin' pretty big, bordering on Nine Stories, in 20th century architecture measurements, and also in J.D. Salinger's Title Terminology, but the point is they're ALMOST UP TO GOD!!! Who is me!  I better knock this down before they get a glimpse of What I Got Going On Up Here!  And also now they speak different languages fomr some reason That Settles That!
    If you believe that story, and know for a fact Now We Have Towers that reach 100 Stories, doesn't it Not Add Up?  Also the fact that we reached the moon.  Were there some people in the 1960s' who were like well if this Moon stuff doesn't pan out MAYBE WE'LL REACH HEAVEN!  Probably because Some People In Any Decade are stupid.  It's like giving Columbus Credit for proving the World Was Round.  It's giving JFK Or His 1960's Successors Credit For Proving There Is A Moon.  Hey great news that joke made me think of the thing I thought of last night but didn't write down because it was nothing so I forgot.  Lotta presidents in that time period who went by their 3 Initials.  FDR, JFK, LBJ.  Five Three out of Five Consecutive Presidents.  Really makes ya think.




Now That You Mention It

   Nobody mentioned anything.  I just saw that Biden's lead over Trump in AveragedCalculatedForEffects Polls is DOWN TO 8.9%!  We can't allow this!  We must raise it to 9.4%!  I dunno where I got that number from but IT MUST BE 9.4% NO MORE NO LESS.  That's a fair compromise, right?  Also what do you mean that's not how polls work.  That sounds like a lie.  DAMMIT WHY DID BIDEN HAVE TO ONLY LEAD BY 7, 9, and 8% IN THREE SEPARATE POLLS TODAY THE WHOLE THING IS GOING TO SHIT.  And wAnd who knows the partisan lean of this pollster.  IT COULD BE 1% DEM.  SO HE'S ONLY UP 6, 7, 8%!  FUCK I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN OVERCONFIDENT!!!  I was never overconfident.  When Internet told me it was (and still is) roughly 85-90% Biden Looking, then I WAS ONLY 85-90% confident!  Confidence ins a Spectrum and I'm 85% confident about A Lot Of Things!  Internet still says it's NINETY ONE percent Biden but after these three polls that's gonna be down to 48% ON ACCOUNT OF NOW HE'S GOT THE MOMENTUM.
I hate being downstairs when my parents are watching CNN or MSNBC, because in every individual moment I'm just thinking well you're gonna fuck this up for us aren't you.  I know it's not good to count on Media to do the right thing because Media has a choice to Report Well or Not Report Well.  But the point is every time I'm exposed to it I'm like, on a second by second basis, preparing myself to Hear Some Bullshit which would Be irresponsible journalism and/or Help Trump ib the Abstract Overallitude.  Anyway I rescheduled that appointment!  I feel like I mentioned that before.  The point is 8.9?  Whoever, what, huh.  I guess its time to throw in the towel!  Sounds about right.  I had a dream I was reading Crazysheet on some sort of computer/phone//tablet/whatever, but the point was, the device I was reading it with, each paragraph only took up 2 or 3 lines.  And I was like this is NO WAY to read my website it looks like each paragraph is 2 sentences ugh this has all gone to putt!  
The point is if it drops down to 87% Biden Chance Win then uhh I forgot.  I saw Chance The Rapper is on Team Kanye.  Has anyone ever noticed how Kayne is an anagram for Yankee.  I did!  Just now!  I kept writing Team Yanke like 4 times in a row.  So we all learned a little something from this paragraph.  I know very little about Chance The Rapper but if I remember anything he's no Community Chest The Rapper.  Anyway if I know anything about Chance The Rapper it's that he's presumably a rapper (I'm comfortable Sworning He Is!) but also he's a serious guy!  He takes politics and activism seriously!  I feel like I've seen him on William Maher: The Politically Incorrect Scarecrow.  Wait a second he was ANTI Bill Maher.  He asked HBO to drop Bill Maher.  Well, I knew it was SOMETHING with Bill Maher, don't I get credit for that?  Also I'm generally anti-Bill Maher, too, so now me and Chance have something else in common.
    Anyway lunch comin' up in about half an hour.  We're talkin... well.. same stuff we were taklin' about Last Section.  The point is I Can't Wait To See Kanye's Running Mate.  You know its gonna be good.  What's the over/under on if its Kim Kardashian?  I'd bet roughly even money one way or the other with that one.  Hah.  Microsoft FrontPage thinks I'm trying to say Carpathian.  That's where The Evil Painting in Ghostbusters II is from.  Vigo the Carpathian.  That'd be an interesting running mate for Kanye.  Either Vigo the Carpathian or maybe the Giant Marshmallow from GhostBusters I.  Of course, topping all of them would be Rick Moranis.  Alrihgt, 1st bet is Kim Kardashian.  2nd most likely thinking is Kanye Runs As His Own Vice President.  3rd most likely is Kanye says Jesus is his vice president.  That's about all I got. 
The point is Being Up 8.9% in National Polls Is Amazing but IT'S TRENDING DOWNWARD over the last 12 hours.  We need a Course Correction and Quick!  I'd like to offer my services by saying what the hell does that new slogan mean.  "Build Back Better."  That's his new Campaign Promise.  I don't know what it means!  I mean I guess it means We Will Build Country Back To Before But Better."  But, I dunno sounds very grammatically weird!  And logically weird!  Do you wanna build it back or build it better!  Pick A Lane!  No the lane we're picking is BOTH.  That's the campaign promise!  We will Build [you get the infrastructure vote] Back [Chiropractor vote] Better [Gambler's vote IF AND ONLY IF YOU ALLOW PUNS].  Anyway I'll be back in a bit. 




Why Yes, I Do Enjoy Entries

   /Titles.  I flipped a coin whether to say Entries or Titles.  Then I realized Coins only have Heads Or Tails.  For some reason I was thinking one side of Coins said, "Titles," and the other one was, "Entries."  Suddenly this coin is useless to me now!  Hmm.  Was taking out the garbage 2 nights ago and it struck me that It Is Summer.  I totally was like HEY I REMEMBER THIS!  Warm Summer Nights.  Being inebriated on Marijuana but Now On Alcohol.  The point is I got lunch going.  Half Ham Half Turkey sandwich.  Some frozen Frenched Fries.  How are Joe Biden's poll numbers in The Last Eight Minutes.  You think I'm joking!  I'm Gonna LTURQ!  Still the same.  What am I gonna do for dinner.  Still got some Fresh Fresh Direct Salmon Filets.
    It brings me great comfort to know that Trump checks his Approval Rating 5 times a Day And 95% of the times he's like well this is fake news, no way this is true.  Obviously it's all being rigged against me.  Why is that comforting?  I.  Don't.  Know.  Everyone knows Math is rigged against Trump.  Common knowledge!  Anyway what else do I got going on for the rest of the day.  Haven't watched a Horrific Movie in a while.  Not since Sleep Doctor, and that was a Re-watch!  I think I had a dream last night where I was like I think I'd like to see Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Again.  It was an okay movie!  Could have been Great but it was Okay!  And onw I wanna re-live all that adequacy again!  In my dreams!
    Anyway that was a good sandwich.  Turns out SuperMarket didn't Have my Special Roast beef at all.  Or else they had it and just didn't send it to us to be jerks!  Probably they just didn't have it.  Man oh man what if I had A Decadent Breakfast Sandwich For Dinner.  Man oh man indeed!  The point is DAMN YOU REDFIELD AND WINSTON STRATEGIES FOR CONDUCTING TWO POLLS WHERE BIDEN IS ONLY UP 7 AND 8 PERCENTAGE POINTS!  THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.  AAnyway.  Trump has a less than 2% chance of winning the popular vote.  That can't be right.  There's gotta be a 2 percent chance Biden IS DEAD by November, right?  And I'm not playing into the Biden is old gambit.  Trump is old, too!  In fact I'd say if there's a 2% chance Biden is dead by November, there's a THREE percent chance Trump is dead by November!  And that's including all the Scams And Conspiracies where Sitting President Is Protected From Death Somehow For Some Reason.  They saw what happened to JFK and they were like NEVER AGAIN WE WILL USE MAGIC TO PREVENT PRESIDENT DEATH.
Sounds about right.  My Dad had a Hot Take that if Trump is still behind in the polls he'll drop Pence and pick a NEW VP presumably Nicki Haley.  I dunno.  Doesn't really get to the Crux of Trump's negative polling.  Although I can se Trump believing that and acting on that.  Hmm stuck at 41% in approval ratings and general election polls... well clearly its this deadweight Mike Pence whose responsible for this!  Sounds about right.  And also we combined on a Hot Take where Trump is touting a Medicine Cure for Coronavirus weeks before the election btu is like We've got it, it won't be ready until after the election, but if you change presidents now its over, you have to go back to square one.  Something along those lines.  Which seems An Accurate Prediction but maybe not a huge deal if everyone realizes He's Full Of Shit.  Which, I think people are catching on to!
    8.9%?!?!?  Why, that means if 10% of Biden supporters go to Trump.. uhh... then it's roughly an even race?  I didn't Crunch The Numbers But My Instinct is EveryThingElse Stays The Same, but 10% of Current Biden Supporters go to Trump, that's around a 50/50!  Cause 10% of a 50% is 5%.  Up by 8.9?  Drop 5% from Biden, add 5% or so to Trump... probably slightly in Trumps Flavor!  GOD DAMN THIS 1 OUT OF 10 BIDEN SUPPORTER HE'S GONNA FUCK EVERYTHING UP.  However maybe we can get 1 Out Of 200 TRUMP Supoprters to go to Biden!  Basically we have to negotiate it properly but let's just agree Biden Shuold Be President, we go into the negotiations with that being the main principle.  Sounds like a fair way to go about it.
    Anyway.  Still got 2/3rds of a beer.  The Ice Cream I've been having says the serving size is 2/3rds of a cup!  True Story!  I had ice cream cone for breakfast the last two mornings.  True Story!  Build Back Better.  What about Build Bigger Better.  ...Why do we need a Tongue Twister Campaign Promise  anyway.  The The Tower of Babel Stairway To Heaven ended up in a Real Big Tongue Twister.  All tongues were twisted into strange and foreign languages!  True Story!  Wait, no it isn't.  Ya Got Me There!  Anyway.  I guess.  Hmm any good Horrific Movies I can watch.  I'll figure something out don't you worry.  Anyway, I'll keep you updated on any Hot Takes My Dad Has.  Figure that's my main purpose in life these days.  Being a Vessel for My Dad's Hot Takes.  I'll see ya later.

-4:10 P.M.




Sunday, July 12, 2020

Try Some Title Would You

   I will!  Huh.  Got some more Groceries Delivered Today.  Pretty much everything I wanted including DECADENT BREAKFAST SANDWHICH I HAVEN'T HAD IN A MONTH!  We're talkin' On Biscuit instead of On Croissant.  Those are the two main verities of Decadence Bread.  Sometimes I try to spell Croissant accurately and sometimes I Never Spell Croissant accurately.  Unless I'm looking at it from when it showed up Seven Words Ago.  Like, just now.  I was able to knock it out of the park seeing a spruced-up, "Spell-checked," version of the word in my eye sight.  When I was a kid I didn't know anything about Croissants until the scene in Godzilla: The Version With Matthew Broderick, and there's a team of French people who get Donuts From Dunking Donuts and one of them is like No Croissant?  And I correctly sorta picked up some sort of French DessertPastry.
Fascinating.  Of course now Dunkin Donuts and The Like all sell croissants.  Spelled it right THAT TIME NO PROBLEM!  Anyway thank god for Godzilla otherwise we might not have Basic French Culinary Options.  Here in the states, I mean.  In France they presumably had some idea of Croissants even before the worldwide smash hit, "Godzilla: The Version That Presumably Lost Around Only One Hundred Million Dollars.  Hey I liked the movie well enough.  The main big excitement sequence at the end were Mini Godzillas running around and it's pretty much like Raptors from Jurassic Park.  And it's underground.  Under Madison Square Garden.  And Hank Azaria is there gotta figure that was on purpose and what they intended to do.  They cast him for the, "Youth," Vote.  Because he was on a cartoon.  Children are people who sometimes watch cartoons!  Is it possible the God in our Judeo-Christian(-Muslimic) tradition is Just A Godzilla?  I'd think that throw people for a loop but then they'd be like, well, I spend 80 years pledging to believe in and support God... turns out he's a Godzilla... well pot committed at this point, what can ya do!
Sounds like fun!  That would explain the Easter Eggs.  Reptiles lay eggs.  Now reptiles have to do with Easter!  If God is a Godzilla then Jesus (One of the protagonists in the ensemble cast of Easter) is half Godzilla!  Anyway.  Did God do any courtship with Mary.  Or was he just like you my bottom bitch carry this seed for my son c'mon you ain't got shit else to do get with the program.  Or was God all affectionate and compassionate and flirty with Mary and really carried on a personal relationship As Much As A God Godzilla can.  Probably somewhere in between.  Treated her with respect but at the same time he's like I'm GOD I can't spend all my time with this one woman.  I'M NEEDED ELSEWHERE she's just gonna have to raise this kid herself.  Does God raise Jesus at all?  Legit question.  That I'll look up myself at some point.  Or is it basically like when Jesus turns 13 his mom is like I got something to tell you.  So the point is basically Our Almighty God, Godzilla, Is A Lowlife, Deadbeat Dad, per my understanding.
    Ugh.  Googled Did God Raise Jesus and Google's interpretation is about Jesus being risen as in Easter Fables.  Alright Googled Did God Raise Jesus As A Child and based on preliminary reporting it looks like No.  Sounds about right.  Hey Godzilla why did you send your only son to show up for a few decades and do some stuff.  And God is like Ohh it's all part of the plan!  I give God Godzilla Credit For Nothing.  He ain't got no plan he's playing this by ear just like Our Current World Protagonist Donald Trump.  The point I'm trying to make is I'd be 100x more comfortable with President Godzilla than President Trump.  Then again, despite all his corruption, Trump would probably keep DC somewhat, slightly less Swampy than Godzilla.  Godzilla is elected, fuck, Act Number One is lets get this build up the SWAMP get this place NICE AND SWAMPY!  And STAT I GOT THINGS TO DO!  Reptiles live in Swamp.  That's been my experience from Obtaining Encyclopedia Knowledge From Watching Movies. 
I may have mentioned this before, but do you ever notice a bug crawling on you, often not an airborne bug, and its just like on the center of your arm, and you're like how did I notice this Just Now and not 5 seconds ago.  It must have been on your arm for a few minutes at lesat and then Suddenly NOW I become aware of it?  Doesn't add up!  Sounds like a Scam to me.  The point is Donald Trump the closest thing we can get to President Godzilla and his version of living in a swamp is elevating the class of criminal that He Is and Associates With?  Sounds about right but I Like Godzilla More.  Sometimes Godzilla is our friend!  More than we can say about Trump!  Anyway gonna take a short break.  I'll be back in a little bit! 




I Could Have Sworn I Had Another Title

   I will Sworn!  Saying I could have sworn-- there's No Stakes to that at all!  Anyway the point is God Made Man In His Image but maybe God Was Such A Bad Artist That He Was Godzilla And Man Was The Closest He could get.  Well that can't be it, because he made Real Zillas i mean Real Reptile versions of whatever Godzilla is.  A Gila Monster?  Heh that's a funny name.  A REALLY funny name.  First I was like lol Gila that's funny.  And then I was like, WAIT AS SECOND THEY'RE DESCRIBED AS MONSTERS IN THEIR OFFICIAL SCIENTIFIC NAME!  That seems in poor taste and kinda of a Dick Move from ... anthropologists?  Whose the scientist who studies animals.  Zoooligists.  Hmm pretty close to ZILL-ologists I Smell A Scam A Brewin'!  The point is I think I accomplished everything I wanted to in this paragraph.
Maybe God is Godzilla IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE and/or IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE.  I'ma err on the side of estimating it's around 50/50 for both those things.  In perpetuity.  Everything I say has been done and/or shouldn't have been done.  Seems about right, what else ya got going on!  Started that Breakfast Sandwich for Lunch In The Oven.  It's good for you because it tastes good.  If it wasn't good for you it'd taste bad.  That's Elemental Evolutionary Zoology & Anthropology.  Also I think we can all agree That Word should be pronounced ZOO-ALL-OH-GEE.  But it's Spelled Zoo-Lo-Gee.  So we either need to adjust how we're pronouncing it, or change how its spelled in the dictionary.  Make a choice right now because I don't want this debate clogging up our political discourse for the next few months or years!
    Hmm.  Sounds about right.  Does anyone go to work for the dictionary thinking I'm Gonna Blow This Operation Up From The Inside!  I know there was a lot of upset people when they added Irregardless a week ago.  Twitter informed me as much.  The point is oh right anarchistic wordworkers.  Look the Dictionary already has Flammable and Inflammable.  Why not an Irregardless.  Also is it really safe for a dictionry to have the word Fire in there?  What if you're reading the dictionary in a crowded theater?  There's always that risk is all I'm saying.  I was reading back on my 200 Tweets for the 2 or so years I tweeted.  One good one was Is it okay to yell, "Theater," in a crowded fire?  It's funny because It Makes You Think.
    Anyway still stuck where I've been for the last 2 days on Star Wars.  Such is life I guess.  #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething and the Do Something is Finish Watching The #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  I'll follow through and do that for some reason no one is really sure of.  Another DVD I look at often is Reservoir Dogs and every time I look at the title I think of Reserve Our Dogs.  I have the memory of Saying That Before but it might just be because I Think That Before All The Time.  It's like I've Said It To Myself three dozen times in the last month.  Also that's one out of 10% or so of DVDs that I watched Maybe Once and that was it.  I'm not sure if I ever watched Cruel Intentions, but I there were sex scenes that I enjoyed before getting the DVD so I figured getting the DVD couldn't hurt.  Similar thing with Eyes Wide Shut.  I dunno if I ever saw that movie and I was a big Kubrick Fanboy in high school! 
    I think part of it is I remember the ads for it when I was ~10 years old and obviously and correctly thinking this movie is too Adult for me.  The only problem is I never got to the point where I'm Adult Enough FOr That Movie.  I STILL think it's too adult for me and I'm 31 years old!  Also I can't play DVDs on my computer so the discussion is Moot!  Also Clockwork Orange bothers me now!  There are Rape Scenes that make me uncomfortable!  Also A Space Odyssey makes me uncomfortable, too!  Too high stakes!  Same with Dr. Strangelove.  AND LOLITA... the point is I Was A Huge Kubrick Fanboy but I couldn't watch 75% of his movies if you paid me.  Well, if you paid me.  Also, if you held my eyes opened mechanically, I'd have no choice!  And oddly, The Shining, probably what should disturb people the most-- I've seen enough times that It's a Fun movie for me!  The point is one day I'll be old enough to watch Stanley Kubrick movies.  Maybe when I'm 41.




I'm Not Mad, I'm Just Disappointed

   So, great.  I just started a new roll of toilet paper but it turns out I had a 2/3rds of a roll of toilet paper that I misplaced for some reason.  Sure I misplace toilet paper.  I don't have the time or discipline to Hook Up Toilet Paper to that nice Wheeley circle that can cycle down each time you want a Ply or Two.  I just rest the roll up on top of Sink Counter.  And rip paper off manually.  It's more convenient that way!  Anyway just had a fight with Parents about I Put Too Much Stuff In Freezer.  I guess I see their point of view I Am A Bad Son and this is the main evidence of it!  Such is life I guess.  What else is going on and crap.  Oh, right.  Got lunch in about 20 minutes.  Well if My Parents Don't Respect Me whats the point anyway.  No amount of lunch will Ever Be Good Enough as far as they're concerned!
    Got some Supermarket Sushi for dinner tonight.  It's Decadent because It's Japan.  Yep seems to check out.  I had 2 of the 9 pieces already!  Taste Test!  Tasted Good!  We're talkin' Shrimp Sushi.  2of the 9 pieces had full-out shrimp tempura with a tail and everything!  I hate those 2 pieces!  The rest is just Sushi But I Can Live With That!  Just gotta pair it with more food that'd be the equivalent of 2 Sushi with Tails.  Huh?  I mean, oh!  That's one of maybe a dozen or so specific memories I have drom Disney World.  A hibachi place in Epcot, most likely in, "Little Japan."  Of course, these days, Hibachi is THE ONLY Place where Food is safe.  There's no waitresses or anything to cough on it.  The chef is a few feet away from sneezing on it.  Cooked, Flipped Right At Ya, no fuss no muss we should All be eating Hibachi All The Time.  The premise of that joke kinda doesn't make sense.  But, if it did make sense, it'd be a solid bit!  That's my feeling.
    My dream is to one way be wealthy enough to just take an entire roll of toilet paper and just wipe my ass with that.  No worrying about my shit seeping through 1 ply.  Just an entire roll for each wipe.  Also I would never do that wasting is BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.  No matter if I can afford it or not!  It's Ain't Good to waste environment things!  Anyway about 1/2 way through Decadent Lunch.  Figure I'll finish that sushi for dinner tonight, what, you want me to wait for it to go bad?  What kinda friend are you.  You want to see me get food poisoning?   Why would food poison a person it'd have no motive.  Another person POISONING someone with SOMETHING IN THE FOOD, that I get. But don't blame the food its totally innocent!  Mmm that biscuit is good.
    Jeez.  Maybe instead of the 2/9 Sushis I can have Another Breakfast Sandwich.  Seems about right.  My favorite thing when I eat Frozen Foods is to leave over some sauce or spare cheese or something and I'm like well clearly I am the model of self control and I am not even reaching the Calorie Level On The Box they said this would be.  I'm a healthy guy because I only eated 95% of the breakfast sandwich and left over 2% of it which was cheese Sure I know Math 97% is the most you can get of something!  I dunno, what else.  Not sure what to make of the boy band 98 degrees.  That sounds very unhealthy.  I've heard of fevers where people are above 98.7 degrees, and I've heard of People Being Dead at room temperature, but I've never heard of people at 98 Degrees.
  MMM just scooped up some leftover cheese with my fingers.  Well That Settles That!  Wait WaiWait I was specifically trying to remember Not To Eat It cause the leftover cheese fell on the floor and then I put it back on the plate Cuase I Was Done but then I Forgot.  There's still SOME left over cheese just Not As Much As Previously!  July 12th, huh?  Sounds like somebody is SEVEN TWELFTHS INTO A BIRTHDAY!  31 & 7/12ths.  I hope someone start streaming Full Metal Jacket I think I can do it without closing my eyes this time!  Hey another entry down.  Was it good?  No!  Was it a C+?  Yes!  I'm comfortable assuming the role of C Pluss-er.  Not too good, not too bad!  I'll C+ the rest of my life if I have to!  Luckily there is no scenario where I have to.  I may either be required to do Better Than A C+, or I will be required to Not Achieve Any Grade At All.  Such is life I guess!   I'll see ya tomorrow.

-2:47 P.M.








Saturday, July 11, 2020

I Have No Idea

   I was thinking about how much Humanity has progressed over the last century.  So much progress!  Basically Now We Look At Light Bulbs 75% of our Waking Lives.  First it was once once a week at the movies.  Then it was an hour or so a day at TV.  Then bump that up another hour or so once Cable, Premium Channels show up.  Another Two or Three Hours with Personal Computers.  Then another hour or two with Tivo/On Demand, then another hour with Streaming services, another hour with More-than-just-talk-Cell phones.  Just a whole lot of Staring At Lightbulbs.  I konw the light plays around and it looks like we're Looking At Real Life Images but lets face the facts it's just multi-colored lightbulbs! 
    Fascinating.  I'm not exaggerating when I say, personally, I stare at light bulbs around 3 or 4 times as much as I Don't Stare At Light bulbs!  Hey, when in Rome, right?  WHEN I WAS A KID, WE HAD TO STARE AT REAL LIGHTBULBS.  Sounds about right.  I would have continued that joke but I Was Confused As To Who Was Saying It.  Then figured I'd just bail on that JokePremise altogether!  Anyway, I had a Great Idea for a movie while I was asleep and woke up and wrote it down.  Movie About Qnon.  Lets face it, there's millions of Americans who have bought into this crap and Something Needs To Be Done About Getting Them Back.  A well written and produced (even assisted by Producers!) movie about Qnon is JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED.  Uh oh Doctor is part of pizza gate.  Trying to implant Hollywood into our kids contact lenses.  Coronavirus is only spread through Gay Marriage.
Anyway, I dunno.  What else is crappening.  What if the basic Tenet of Qnon was stop looking at light bulbs.  As far as I know, it's possible that's the main gist of it!  In which case I AGREE but we have different ideas about How To Get There!  Also I disagree I LOVE This Lightbulb Life!  It's very decadent and I'd hate to give it up.  Also, I' no expert on Qnon, but is the premise that there's literally this guy Qnon, whose one guy, and obviously he's making crap up, but the followers think he's an insider about to blow the whole story open... The point is is there really Just One Guy In Real Life whose duping these folks?  Can we out him or something?  Seems like it should be possible.  Even if its 2 or 3 guys, lets out them as well.  I'd like to see what jerks are responsible for this and What They're All About!  Waking Lives Matter.  That's my hot take on Abolishing Light Bulbs.
    Huh?  What else is going on.  I wanna start that trend.  Just do some Batman or Spiderman-esque Development of existing technology to make some glasses that light up like light bulbs.  That'll get people talking!  Possibly in a bordering on neutral way!  In the sense of look we're neutral about this guy but something must be done about his light bulb glasses.  Sounds vaguely neutral to me!  Anyway.  Closest thing to Qnon Movie I came up with was how they made that Slenderman Movie.  Qnon and Slenderman are pretty much the exact same thing.  Except one is for pre-teenage girls and the other one is for high-school-at-most-educated adult white males presumably for the most part.  That'd be my guess at least.  The point is we'd all be a lot happier if Qnon was posted on  Creepy Pasta.  Because that's part of the scam!  PastaGate is just a natural progression of Pizza Gate and it being creepy WELL YEAH PIZZA GATE IS PEDOPHILIA OBVIOUSLY THAT'S CREEPY CREEPY PASTA GATE IS PART OF THE SCAM!  Is that how Qnon people really think?  I think that's more or less how it goes.
    The point is they think kinda like Me Specifically On This Website but 90% more nonsensical and 60% more buying into thinking that what they think is Actually Something.  I'll buy into some of my nonsense, sure.  But the point is I don't think its evidence of a Worldwide Pasta Gate, I just think hmm this is evidence of some sort of clever thinking on my part!  Well done Me!.  Which itself is Way Off It's Just Nonsense but At Least It Don't Hurt Nobody!  Anyway gonna start my 1st beer of Probably 3 right now!  Lets go!  Anyway.  I don't know whether I'm joking around seeing Lunch Emphasis on Dick Van Dyke show.  In 2 of the last 3 episodes them eating lunch is a legitimate Plot Point again.  Maybe I really am tuned into some Pizza/Sandwich/PastaGate conspiracy but it's not a conspiracy it's just the fact that Lunch Really Is Universally Loved especially by writers trying to write some writing.
    Sounds about right.  The premise of the episode that I'm watching made me laugh out loud.  Just reading the 1 sentence.  Richie runs into the house screaming that he has been pecked on the head by a giant woodpecker.  Hilarious!  I never saw that one coming!  The point is Great What Else Is Going On.  I feel like if I was born 10 years later I would have been a Creepy Pasta reader.  As opposed to being a Snopes.com reader At My Age.  Which is still probably better but what are ya gonna do.  Also I think Creepy Pasta is a pretty good title.  At fist you're like what's so creepy about pasta but then you think about it and think about it and you're like ya know what THIS PASTA WORD CHOICE IS PRETTY GOD DAMN CREEPY!



Just Kidding

   Anyway.  7/11.  Happy Convenience Store Day.  I was thinking about What Turning To The Dark Side, for me specifically, Would Look Like.  Well, first of all, it implies I Am Not On The Dark Side Now.  In which case great!  But, if I am already on the darkside already, Oh well I don't know WHY but I guess I'm too far gone oh well such is life.  But, yeah.  Let's say I do end up getting a job being creative.  But then I sell out my ideals in order to remain neutral-at-best politically and at-worst promote ideals and whatnot that I don't agree with at all.  Sounds pretty Dark Sidey to me.  Then again what if I get a job creatively and I'm like hmm I can only continue working if I agree to sell out in some way, but in actuality I'd be, "On The Darkside," to not take that job and have my, "Neutral Family," suffer financially! 
    God damn Family WHY THEY GOTTA BE NEUTRAL.  If only my Wife and kids were Very Clearly With The Force or Very Clearly On The Dark Side, I'd be able to make all my decisions around that!  In terms of whether I'm On Board With My Family Or Not.  Hmm really makes ya think I guess.  Maybe that's the Most Dark Side thing I can do.  Be a Dumb Antagonististic Father And Husband.  They deserve so much better this imaginary neutral family unit.  On the other hand, maybe MY FAMILY ARE THE ANTAGONISTS and I'm The PROTAGONIST!  You ever think about that one?  Also I was trying to imagine how Conservative Politicians/Media people would react to the question Are YOU QNON?  And, based on absolutely nothing but My Power With The Force, I imagined the standard answer being Laughing and then being like, "Ya never know!"  Which seems kinda a possible answer some people would give?  But it also betrays a sincerely diseased mind that they think saying They Are Possibly A Head Of A Fictitious Conspiracy, and instinctually feel that is a good and reasonable thing to say for Your Base to be on board with.
    Then again, that isn't a GOTCHA! point.  Because I made up the entire discussion!  Nobody asked that question, nobody answered that question!  I'll admit to It Being A Completely Dumb Way To Try TO Make A Point!  Heh.  Antagonisticistic.  Makes me laugh.  Was a mistake at first but Now I'm On Board With it!  The point is I never wanted to go to Walt Disney World until they told me I Can't Go To Walt Disney World.  I mean, until they ACCURATELY told me I can't  They're right I shouldn't!  But if only I ahd thought MAYBE LAST YEAR to go to Walt Disney World.  I had to wait until It Was Too Late!  Nah I was waiting for a good reason.  Figure'd I'd wait until I had a Neutral Family to go to Walt Disney World, that makes sense.  Also in the news I see it described as Walt Disney World which is a lot funnier than just Disney World.  First thought was What if there was an Adolf Hitler World and then my next thought was What the HELL why did I go from Walt Disney to Adolf Hitler and then I was like Ya know what MAYBE I'M ONTO SOMETHING THERE...
Do people who make the point that Germany has Concentration Camps open to teach the horrors of the holocaust as a way to justify keeping Confederate Stuatues... do they really think that these Germany Destination Hot Spots are like a HITLER WORLD!  SEE where the Nazis gassed people in their showers!  SEE ...uh... Where the people slept in close quareters per my understanding from the Documentary Life Is Beautiful!  I cant think of much else about the camps Maybe For The Best.  Lots of killing, lots of forced labor, and lots of Very Crowded Sleepovers.  The point is If Its Never Okay To Go To Disney World AGain Ever, why even BOTHER having a family.  I NEED A PLACE to WALK AROUND AND SPEND FUNBUCKS AND STAND ON LINES FOR 2 HOURS FOR SOMETHING THAT TAKES 2 MINUTES.  ESPECIALLY THE FUNBUCKS!  It's like spending money BUT MORE FUN!  I guess regular bucks are fun bucks.  American History Funbucks.  Collect all the bills!  George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander Hamilton one would imagine... I think Ulysses Grant is on one of the upper denominations...  I don't think I've ever held a bill larger than 100$.  Oh well.
Anyway I was made privy to a Scam by watching Dick Van Dykes.  Per the plot of one of the episodes, they refer to the term mad money as money a wife will siphon from her husband to spend when she's, "Mad," at him and wants to get back at him.  Meanwhile, per my understanding, the premise of, "Mad Money," I got from watching those shows where its like documentries of poeple who won the lottery, is that financial avisors actually say stuff like Go out and spend some Mad Money just to drive the point home that its Real and you should adjust to that thought.  Just get something you want off the top of your head and don't even really need."  And, a third thing, there was the Jim Kramer show, "Mad Money," which I think was a pun because He Acted Insane on that show.  All I remember was him trashing the set every night and hitting his producers with baseball bats.
Ugh.  The point is if I had some Mad Money I'd go to Walt Disney World but first I'd have to devote my entire fortune and Life's Work to stopping Current Pandemic.  Someone's gotta do it, might as well be My Mad Money that finances such an operation.  The The point is four more Star Wars movie to watch.  Episodes VIII and IX and 2 one-offs.  And then its onto I dunno something else one would imagine.  Lunch comin' up in an hour or so.  We're talkin' leftovers of Roast Chicken and Potato Spheres!  We are now!  Before me no one was talking about it now everyone, they can't stop talking about it, it's all anyone thinks about!  I enjoyed Trump's Rambling about how he made it known that Abraham Lincoln was Republican.  Because A) It's very on brand for him which is fun! and B)it means he didn't know until recently that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.  And I imagine he'll forget it again.  And then claim credit for it again.  And that'll play out several dozen times when he's alone in the bunker doing a, "Podcast," with himself but is really hust him talking into an unplugged Pencil Sharpener.  We had to unplug it to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself.  Also, for all the great things Technology can do, can't improve on the pencil sharpener!     
    The point is that'd be a great book for literally EVERYONE.  Trump's Things People Know Thanks To Me!  And its just a book of things he's just been made aware of and/or things he's been aware of for a long time but still fascinate him and/or things he made up completely but other people think is true and he, in turn, thinks is true because he forgot he was the one who made it up.  A lotta the Third One, right?  That's his Achilles' heel!  Making things up, getting dummies to repeat it, and then he forgot he made it up and he's like well People Are SAYING THIS...  I think that is an accurate description of how things go in the echo chamber that is his mind. 



Now Where Was I

   Last section of the entry!  Another day down.  Closing in on FREAKIN' FOUR MONTHS OF ENTRIES WITHOUT A DAY OFF!  Pandemic Don't Take No Days Off!  Except to go to Walt Disney World Presumably!  One must assume they cut a deal with Coronavirus to not show up at their parks because otherwise Man Oh Man is that an irresponsible business practice, opening up in this pandemic!  I get that a lot of the blame goes to Florida for allowing it to happen, but I haven't been reading any Anti-Disney hot takes.  Gotta imagine that should happen?  C'mon you can Cancel DisneyWorld it's okay!  We can always have a DisneyWorld Reboot next summer!  I'M JUST TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND CANCELING DISNEYWORLD FOR THE SUMMER AND FALL IS THE RIGHT THING IN THIS SCENARIO!
Then again, I dunno!  Ones gott assume that you can go to some Disneyworld at a discount, right?  They culd even make it free!  Just be like alright 100% of the revenue will be from Concession Sales and  the like.  I LEARNED ABOUT IT FROM PLAYING ROLLER COASTER TYCOON!  You can either have your main revenue be Admission To The Park, or, have free admission, but just jack up the prices on concessions and maybe some attractions cost money individually and whatnot.  The point is That Was A Really Fun game but when you're designing your own roller coasters you're running the risk that it will malfunction and you'll have some deaths on yyour hands.  I can't play games where innocent people die.  Too stressful. 
    What else is crappening.  Three or four more paragraphs.  I was never that into Grand Theft Auto, but I check every month or so for new Updates on upcoming Grand Theft Auto VI.  Because it's gonna be crazy!  I don't enjoy PLAYING the games but I enjoy the knowledge of Man Oh Man SO MUCH WENT INTO THIS GAME.  Huge environment and presumably a dozen or so different cars and also you can stab people one would imagine.  I played Grant Theft Auto III either to completion on the PC or close to it.  I remember enjoying the Radio in Hijacked Cars.  They had a lot of just Real Fake Music.  It's music that sound real in whatever genre yuo choose for Radio, but it's just all made up specifically for the game!  WOW!  I think for GTA: VI they just are gonna have 5000 new songs and that's another part of the game that has just spiraled out uncontrollably.  The point is I wanna make my music known for being on the radio in a video game.  I'm not joking!  I figure that'd be a really fun and cool way for one's music career to go!  They also had talk radio per my understanding.  HHey how about that.  Yes I understand I started the paragraph saying I Was Never That Into Grand Theft Auto and then, several sentences later, saying I Probably Played One Of The Games To Completion.  The point is that was on the PERSONAL COMPUTER.  I got GTA IV on Xbox 360 BUT NEVER MADE IT VERY FAR.
    I'm gonna give Pro-Confederates the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't think Concentration/Death Camps are essentially a HITLER WORLD! enterprise.  They probably think it's more like an Old West Tourist Attraction.  Like in this here saloon, that's where this outlaw Jesseford James met his end with this sheriff, Sheriff Whatever.  And the insinuation was that oh they're both around as good as each other its an ol' fashioned western shoot-out!  They think Concentration Camp history is like wand this is where the Nazis Finally Cornered the Jews so that they could get working on That Final Solution that, as we now know, ended up not panning out completely!  Good ol' fashioned showdown between Jewish People and the Nazis that were so often the thorn in their side!
    Is it possible that Slender Man is Qanon?  I dunno!  Is it possible that [some celebrity that is known for being overly thin] is sleder man?  I dunno!  Hmm what's a good anorexic celebrity.  One Third of them.  GOTTEM BASD ON NOTHING SEEMS LIKE AN APT, "GOTTEM."  If I was an actor or something I'd be anorexic.  Pot committed to the whole Gotta look good thing!  Is it possible that these people are all budding Muslims and they think they're following the Qoron?  Very Possible!  I saw Cat Stevens is releasing a new album of His Best Songs Re-recorded.  I'm, "on board," with, "That."  Not a lot of White --> Muslim entertainers.  Gotta cherish the One that we have!  Anyway.  Qanon.  FourChan.  I was very pleased with myself the day I figured out FourChan was a pun.  Fortune.  Dunno WHY that's a website discussion board or whatever name.  But it sure ckechs out as Meaning Something more than the phrase, "Four Chan," means.  HHmm Chan can be Asian.  Asian people are good at the internet.  Just imagine how good Four Chans would be.  Sounds like really exceeding At Interets.
    When I was a kid, one of the nerdiest internet things I did was read fark.com.  Which was like an aggregate News website.  It collected headlines from All The News and Top Blogs and Parody Newses and listed 'em all together.  Also was inspiration for Crazysheet.  Fark is presumably a pun on Fuck.  Crazysheet is a pun with Shit.  Now you know the shocking truth!  I didn't know WHAT crazysheet would be.  I just registered the domain name.  Then years later Started the blog that we all know and tolerate and also very few of us know abstractly but all of us Here know otherwise you made a wrong turn somewhere.  The point is I'm drinking Ginger Ale fro the first time IN MONTHS!
Hey here comes so lunch.  I dunno why republicans need a conspiracy to fantasize about a disruptive right wing insurgency in the government.  There IS a disruptive right wing insurgency in the government its called Republicans!  Zing'd em.  Politics is like a video game, One Zinger does nothing but 20 Zingers brings down the boss.  19 Zingers?  Boss is doing fine, as strong as ever.  Land the 20th zinger?  Down The Boss Goes.  Anyway lots of good options for A Late Dinner but right now I'm leaning towards Its Like Delivery It's Dijornio.  Still got almost a whole can of beer rationed out for the day.  Endless Dick Van Dykes at this point.  A nice Dinner Whatever It Is coming up later.  Another fun Quarantine Day!  I'll see you guys later.

-4:21 P.M.




Friday, July 10, 2020

This May Sound Dumb

   So, I'll take the Over on that one.  Dunno if that's Accurate Gambling Lingo.  What I meant to say was I Will Bet Even Money On It Sounding Dumb.  I will bet less than even money.  Also, More than even money.  The point is I'm a Compulsive Gambler and you should be too!  Having One Compulsive Gambler in a social group, and no other, man oh man is that Compulsive Gambler in for a tough time.  He just keeps wanting to compulsively gamble but no one is interested!  Sounds like a fun Sitcom Episode.  Anyway I had a REAL idea for a fun sitcom, in totality, last night-- takes place At The Circus.  That's all I got so far.  Sounds about right.  It's great except for the fact I Know Nothing About Circuses, nobody else knows anything about circuses (do they even still exist? and, if so, in what capacity?), nobody is interested in anything about circuses, and also I think there was a show called The Circus which probably wasn't about circuses but there's no way to know for sure.
    Anyway #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething Update-- about 3/4ths through Star Wars: The First One Of The Relatively Recent Ones: I Wanna Say Episode Seven.  My least favorite part is there's a scene where Harrison Ford as Han Solo is like I used to doubt The Force, too, but it's real.  It's all real.  And  the way its shot and performed its like maybe They're Really Trying to Convince The Film-Audience that it's real?  In which case that seems very morally irresponsible.  Kids are watching this movie!  If Han Solo has dialogue confirming the existence of the force Then We're Gonna Have Kids Doing Advanced Parkour All The Time In The Name Of The Force!  Gotta figure that's a fun, "Sport Activity," that the force'll probably make easier.  Do some parkour! 
    What else is going on and crap.  I mean that's the effect that dialogue had on me.  I mean, 1/2 the movie is Winking To The Audience because its like hey remember those other movies here's some bits that you may get a kick out of.  And dialogue confirming the existence of the force?  That falls along the same lines and now people are gonna be confused re: Force Existing Or Not.  I feel very strongly about this.  Anyway Spoiler Alert Han Solo shows up in a Star Wars movie very recently about 5 years ago. Sometimes I try to calculate Harrison Ford's age and my guess is he was either born in the late 1940's or the late 1930's.  I don't think he was born in any early or mid decades, I feel very strongly about this!  He was born in 1942.  See there's proof The Force doesn't exist!  I tried to Use Force to guess a Date Of Birth and I was way off!
    Hmm maybe I should think about Going Towards The Dark Side.  With that Extra Oomph of using Evilness to supplement The Force might help me accurately guess birthdays.  I can't think of a better reason to sell your soul.  Can probably get a job at the carnival guessing ages!  Also now the sitcom is about a carnival not a circuses.  Carnivals tested better with audiences and also there's just more fun to be had at a carnival.  Anyway I've had a can of beer sitting on my desk for the last 3 paragraphs and haven't opened it yet.  Hmm think I'll try that out right now!  Fascinating. I  I'm pouring it into a glass because Coronavirus Loves Aluminum.  Also I strongly recommend you pronounce it, "Al-oo-min-e-um."  I think you'd get a real kick out of that as I do!
    Anyway looks like we're havin' a Real Great Dinner tonight.  We're talkin' Roast Chicken Breast & Wings & Possibly Thighs and/or Drumsticks.  And we split that between me, My Family, and ohoh right that's it.  And I got the Potato Spheres c'mon!  I think we got broccoli too or somethin.  I'll eat some broccoli!  Whose gonna stop me, you?  You'll Probably Try But Fail!  Anyway I 100% recognize this entry, so far, is just More DUmb an Pointless than most entries lately.  But I still feel its worth somethin'.  It's different in A Mostly Bad Way but also its 20% An Interesting Way.  Anyway Lunch may be a Real Great Lunch, too.  We're talkin Salmon Fillets.  We're talkin Potato Spheres.  Now we're talkin!



An Entry Gone Awry

   Oh no!  When they were writing sitcoms in the 50's and 60's, did they consciously not only recognize but welcome the idea that there's about 2 dozen episode plots that apply to and show up in Every Sitcom From That Time?  Do they go into season 2 going okay there's these 5 Sitcom Entries left over that everyone does, alright!  Time to do them in our own unique way!  Like it's a GOOD thing to do.  It's not to be frowned upon, that's just the standard.  It's not laziness, but it's just That's What The Job Is.  Gotta show people What They've Seen Before But With A Different Spin.  I always thought it was just laziness but I dunno maybe that's just the way they thought things through.  And believe me I KNOW LAZINESS.  IT RHYMES WITH CRAZINESS!  Hmm better write that down somewhere Good Potential Song.  It's about 20% of a song right there right.  One would imagine.  Alight first Drink in 9.5 weeks or so.  Hey that tastes good.  It reminds me of other times I've drank beer.  I guess that makes sense.
    Sometimes, when its late at night, and no one else is around, I think about the movie Dumb & Dumberer, and how there's some funny stuff in that movie.  Yep checks out.  I also remember going into it thinking it would be good because it was directed by Troy Miller, who directed some (all? [most?]) Mr. Shows, which I was a pretty big fanboy of at the time.  Turns out that directing Mr. Show, though, meant very little because the movie Dumb And Bumberist:The Prequel wasn't that great!  But, apparently, based on the beginning of this paragraph, had some laughs in it? 
    There's a scene (and then a later scene where its a call back and something similar happens) when one of the Dumbs (I forget if its Young Lloyd or Young Harry) gets chocolate all over the bathroom and the Father Of The Teenage Girl Love Interest is like SHIT THERE'S SHIT ALL OVER THE BATHROOM SO MUCH SHIT!  And then it happens to him again later on in the movie In A Car or something.  Lol scatological humor What Will They Come Up With Next!  Also Eugene Levy was in the movie Rest In Piece.  I'd like to Take A Rest With That Piece Of Ass Oh Boy.  That was meant to be about Cheri Oteri.  Who plays Eugene Levy's love interest.  They're the bad guys.  LOL Cheri Oteri is a funny name.  Freakin' rhymes!  How come no one ever realized this until just now!
    Sounds about right.  About halfway through Drink 1 of... I dunno... between 1 and 3.  Anyway woke up much earlier than usual today on account of Accepting SuperMarket Delivery.  Great just great hows that working out for me.  Well so far so good!  Hmm wonder if I can binge watch City Slickerses.  One gotta imagine they had several City Slickers Reboots, right?  They could either just have a similar scenario with New People or they could have The Original City Slickers come back one last time to the Wild Wild West Of Current Times and they have to do somethin, I dunno.  Not sure how that would play out.  City Slickers II ends with the insinuation That They're All About To Acquire A Good Amount Of Gold.  So maybe they're living large now, 30 years later, and they're like Oh now we're running out of gold we better go to the Wild Wild West One Last Time to see if there's any more gold.  Also Jack Palance is all CGI now.
And obviously no Bruno Kirby but Yes Jon Lovitz.  That was my high school yearbook quote.  No Bruno Kirby, Yes Jon Lovitz.  Really makes ya think!  The point is Yes We Are All Anxiously Waiting To Find Out what the #SummerForTheAges will be all about and I dunno!  If I have access to HBOMax, then I think I can binge Harris Pottersons.  If I don't, then, I dunno!  Also does City Slickers count as a Western?  My first instinct was No of course not.  But does it mainly take place in the American West?  And that setting is pretty much 100% Key To The Plot?  Yes!  Smells like a Western to me.  Also that's what I call, "Deuces," that have nuggets of ham and green pepper in them.  You know, that configuration that shows up so often.
I dunno.  I think they should reboot Ghostbusters BUT THIS TIME IT'S AN ALL MALE GHOSTBUSTERS!!!  Whatta switcheroo it would get people goin'!  Well, great, what else.  Maybe have some sort of Kobe Roast Beef Sandwich instead of Salmon Fillet for lunch today.  Maybe lots of things!  Hmm I can watch The Fantastic Four.  They're presumably terrible movies and don't exist in any overlapping universe, but on the other hand, The Fantastic Four Is What I Call My Cock.  Fascinating.  And NO, Not because it's four inches!  Because it's four centimeters.  Just kidding it's because I GOT FOUR OF 'EM!  We all know Scatological humor is about defecations and defecates in general.  What is Cockological Humor.  Also Microsoft FrontPage accepted, "Defecates," as a word and I was momentarily THRILLED because I meant it as a noun and the idea that Defecates could mean Individual Pieces Of Shit was EXCITING but now I realize it's just a verb.





Don't Bother Me None

   Very good.  I like what I've seen from Recent Trilogy Incarnation Of Star Wars.  3/4ths into the 1st one, only TWO sequences where main characters have been trapped and have to escape.  Trying something New this movie, huh?  Also do all White Men sort of innately think Hmm 2 main protagonists in this movie Aren't Me.  Wonder what that's all about.  Look I'm glad The Best Star Wars People are a black man and a white woman, I think It's A Good Thing.  The only Bad Thing is that For Some Reason That Thought Even Occurs To Me. Well the black guy is SORT OF white.  When he's a stormtrooper at the beginning, he wears a white Costume. Also, before he takes off his mask, I assumed he was white!  Who knew that some stormtroopers were black!  I didn't even realize they were HUMAN until seeing this movie!  Star Wars has always been about equal representation.  A solid TWO main characters are robots.  Another one of them is some sort of Furry Ape Man.  Lots of other types of aliens.  But the point is I've got a pretty good feeling White Men are gonna be taken care of in terms of representation in this franchise.  Mostly on account of the first 6 Movies being ALL WHITE MEN (except for 10% that are either white women).
    Also why does Kylo Ren wear a Darth Vader Mask.  He has no physical deformities, as far as I know, that he needs A Special Mechanical Mask.  I know he's, "Into," Darth Vader (as much as anyone can be into their grandfather I guess WHICH IS A LOT) so he's just trying to copy his look, which I get.  But it looks dumb because he doesn't need it.  All the black White Storm Troopers are laughing at him behind his back that he's trying too hard to look Cool and sound Cool.  Also, in episodes 4-6, Darth Vader is an intimidating administrator and Captain of the Dark Side... but not very intimidating in hand-to-hand conflict.  He's fuckin half machine, he's got emphysema, he needs a mechanical mask to keep him alive, he's a pretty old man at this point.. Luke can run circles around this guy is the point.  Sounds about right.
What else is crappening.  The point is I Don't Care How Much Harrison Ford Winks At The Camera I'M A SOLID 50-60% SURE THE FORCE ISN'T REAL!  Also HIS NAME IS HARRISON.  And we all just act like that's not weird?  IT'S A WEIRD NAME.  Imagine you know nothing about him being The Dude in the late 1970's through 80's and Continuing Being A Pretty Cool Super-Somewhat-Older Dude into the 90's... but HIS NAME IS HARRISON.  IT'S A DUMB NAME PEOPLE MUST BE MADE TO UNDERSTAND THIS.  Also Star Wars.  The Stars aren't at war with each other.  What would be their motivation?  Maybe they're pulling at each other with Gravity But That Can't Be Very Strong!  1942?  Sounds like a Stephen Spielberg Movie.  Even though it isn't.  That was 1941.  What else is going on.
Hey I put some lunch in the oven.  That'll be ready long after this entry is over and done with.  We're talkin a solid 40 minutes from now!  Fascinating.  Made it into Season II of Dick Van Dykes.  So far, so good!  I like the parts where it's similar to Season I but hmm looks like they're maturing a bit so to speak.  Anyway hows that Carnival Sitcom going.  What's it called again.  Carnivale.  Wait that's an HBO show.  Wait That IS an HBO Show... alright no more Carnival Sitcom.  It was a fun idea while it lasted for a solid hour and a half or so!  What about a show where it's that painting of Dogs Playing Poker but its a sitcom.  Sounds like a solid genesis of a show to me!
    I guess.  Anyway another day, another entry down.  How does it relate to most recent entries?  It Exists.  They exast, too!  So basically it's the same.  Anyway, when I'm doin' my Circle Walks, I keep looking at my George Carlin Box Set DVD Box up above my desk, and look at the Logo Picture Of Him and it's like the Mona Lisa.  Sometimes he's smiling, some times he's frowning, sometimes he's laughing, sometimes he's upset.  And also he's always watching me no matter where I am in the room.  The point is Sure I like DVD boxes and yes that's in my Top 10 but not necearilly the best by any means.  Harrison.  All due respect, but its a stupid name! 
    Why I gotta be such a bully.  Makes me feel like a Big Man.  Oh now I get it carry on.  Looking forward to Future Episodes of DVD where Carl Reiner shows up as the Star Of The Fictional Show in a good ol' fashioned Switcheroo.  The point is the 1980's were truly a golden age for Movies Which Had Original Pop/Rock Songs Made For And Mostly Associated With The Movie.  Ghostbusters.  Back To The Future.  Karate Kid.  One would imagine at least 1 of the karate Kid Soundtrackers is For Karate Kid.  It's a Reasonable Guess To Make!  I think if Women Ghostbusters had A New Ghostbusters Song that would have been a real valuable addition to The Entire Deal!
    Also I relate to black past-Storm Trooper because I too am a person and I also relate to the White Poor Lady Who Presumably Has Some Sort Of Force Power because I too am a person.  I don't relate to the Millennium Falcon, though.  That's a space ship.  I am a person not a space ship.  I might catch some, "Flak," saying I don't identify with space ships IN THE LEAST but that's how life goes for some reason no one is really sure of.  Anyway that'll do it for today.  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-1:43 P.M.






Thursday, July 9, 2020

Only A Title? ONLY A TITLE?

   Sounds accurate.  Anyway, Hey, another day has begun a few 13 hours or so ago at this point.  Finished with Episodes I-VI of Star Wars:The Franchise We're All Familiar With.  My Final Guess for if I've seen these movies before is that I had Empire and Return on VHS.  The main thing I remember is When Protagonists Are In Traps.  In Part V there's Luke being trapped by a Yeti.  Then in Part VI they're trapped by Jabba The Hut, by Ewoks, and so on.  Basically All Star Wars Original Trilogy is just a series of people being in traps and then escaping/being rescued from those traps. Yep seems to check out.
Anyway made some Elbow Macaroni last night.  Also Now Everything I Say Sounds Like Dick Van Dyke in my head.  There he goes again!  Anyway once I started enjoying Dick Van Dykes I went back and listened to Weezer's Buddy Holly for more insight into the characters involved in the lyrics.  Mary Tyler Moore is a key plot point in the song is the point.  Also Rivers Cuomo looks a bit like Buddy Holly, 90% because of the glasses, but I think he's leaning into that a little bit too strong.  He chose those glasses consciously.  It's not like someone put them around his head and he's like hey with these I look like Buddy Holly!  The point is It's A Scam And We Don't Have To Put Up With It Is The Point!  Let's have a popular revolt against Popular Music and how they're Always Leaning Into Images.
    Right?  Sounds accurate.  I've got the same glasses.  Yeah but I'M NOT WRITING A SONG ABOUT IT.  Although maybe I should, it's a good idea for a song.  Re-ooh I look just like... uh... wait I feel like this has been done before.  Is it too late to bail on this song premise?  That's the chorus.  What else is going on and crap.  Not enough Popular Music with non-rhyming lyrics.  Not enough at all!  The point is I Dig All The Characters of Dick Van Dyke show.  Why should everything I say be in Dick Van Dyke's Voice In My Head.  There's half a dozen other characters to Lean Into!  Why, there's his son ("What did you bring me Daddy" is some great dialogue I just thought of for him), his wife ("I'm Dick Van Dyke's Wife!" there's some dialogue for her to say), his two Writing Partners ("Hey I'm the other male writer," and, "I'm the female writer!" they might respectively say)...  Hmm the only person with A Real Thing To Say was the son!  And in real life he's got the least to say!  Funny how things work out.  Also that isn't real life.  Wait Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Cool!  What's Dick Van Dyke saying.  "I'm Dick Van Dyke Look At Me Go!" sounds about right.  Ugh.  Yeech.  That's what the producer says in DVD!  He was a proto-type for my character which I inhabit who says Ugh every now and then.  Natural progression from this guy who goes Yeech.  I Owe It All To This Show I've Never Seen Before But Probably Picked Up A Bit Of Here And There!  I was talking to My Mom and she was upset that everything on Disney Plus is for children.  And I wanted to make fun of her for that but you know what She's Got A Point How about that?  We're not children!  Why can't a Service Designed for a Child Audience Accommodate Adults LIKE ME?  Why can't EVERYTHING ACCOMMODATE ME?  That's a legit thing to wonder!  The point is Yes I Made Macaroni just like I said.  Still have enough for a lunch today or something!  Still have enough macaroni for a lot of things!
    What else is going on.  The point is if Rivers Cuomo was 5'4 for most of his life, he might be down to My Height 5'2 now that he's in his 80's.  I assume he was a contemporary of Mary Tyler Moore, right?  Otherwise That Song WAS A LIE.  What else is going on and crap.  Also at what point in Society do we start having a legitimate Fringe Discussion about Heightism?  I'm not asking it to be taken seriously at the same level as sexism, racism, disablism, homophobia, etc.  I just want SOME talk about it here and there just so I know I'm not crazy.  Because it's freakin' real!  Hmm I am crazy but THAT DOESN'T INVALIDATE MY POINT.  It might but it shouldn't!  See that'd be disabilism right there.  Mentally Ill, anything he says can't be taken seriously.  WHERE DO YOU GET OFF SIR WHERE DO YOU GET OFF. 
    Sounds about right.  Also it was fun watching Ewoks go now that I know a lot more about the Man Behind The Mask, its only Warwick Davis!  Also I'm under the impression that a dwarf played R2D2 which I don't 100% see the point of.  You can figure out a way to make that circular prism (accurate description of that 3-d shape?  Nope!  But sounds close enough!) without sticking a person in there, right?  Unless you cast the dwarf specifically to do the Whistling.  In which case, why do you need a dwarf, anyone can whistle?  Then again I Commend You for hiring a Dwarf to do your Robot Whistles why SHOULDN'T it be a dwarf if he's the right man for the job.  The whistling job.  The small robot whistling job.  In a movie.  Not real life.  Hmm.




Let Me Just Say

   I guess I just relate most to the Kid on Dick Van Dyke.  Based on what they get to say instinctually in my head.  He, like me, was born later on in Real World Chronology.  Makes sense.  Also did I used to mix up Dick Van Dyke with Bewitched And Presumably EVERY other sitcom of the 1960's?  You bet!  Probably because I knew the trivia how there were two Dick Actors who were the same part on Bewitched.  And Dick Van Dyke's name is, lemme double check this make sure its right, Dick.  So you could see where mny confusion lied.  Sure I could make a, "Dick," pun, nobody's ever thought to do that before!  I'll leave it for The Next Guy, though.  Whoever my Humor Successor is.  Gotta figure Someone'll step up, right?  Do the kind of thing that I do, but better.
I sure hope so.  The point is this by next entry I will have alcohol to Power Me through.  I drink the alcohol and it gives me power.  Power Me Through!  Sounds about right.  Anyway Man OH Man was I on board with Yoda in Empire Strikes Back.  He talks the same way sentence structure and rhythm-wise, but he's HILARIOUS in this movie.  He's always monkeyin' around and Bein' Weird and Crackin' Wise.  Every other movie he's more serious and solemn.  But in this one he's a fuckin' goof in the best way possible!  Very relatable.  Also why did they make Yoda a puppet and not cast Warwick Davis to play him.  Was Warwick Davis unavailable?  In which case, I would guess there's probably two to four other actors who are similarly tall.  That'd be my guess, at least.  Anyway.  What else is going on.  Was surprised to learn that George Lucas didn't direct Empire and Return.  So basically this guy who you think is the greatest directed One Good Star Wars Film out of 4 tries.  That's YOU thinking, not me.  I could personally not give much of a fuck.
    Sounds about right.  Also, I was saying yesterday or the day before how Return of The Jedi should be called Resurgence of The Jedi.  And now I realize I was wrong Return makes as much sense if not more.  I'm man enough to admit when I make a mistake!  Presumably!  I just Did It Once which is a pretty good track record I'd say as for now!  Also how in the Hell was Yoda around when Luke crashed into Yoda's planet.  A planet is a pretty big place!  What are the odds Yoda was within miles of where Luke lands!  The force?  What the hell is that.  You're talking nonsense.  Something along those lines is Pretty Much How My Inner Narrative Goes.  I guess the reason Yoda was Kooky As Fuck in Empire Strikes Back is because he'd been in isolation for a long time.  He went stir-crazy.  Makes sense to me.
    The point is I can't get The Kinks out of my head, 20% of the time being their Lola and 80% of the time being Weird Al's Yoda.  I go back and forth and it's USUALLY Yoda but sometimes a Kinks lyric or couplet slips in there.  I know Darth Vaders really got you annoyed but remember if you kill him then you'll be unemployed.  Heh!  I get it!  It's about Star Wars!  LOL I just saw that movies.  Ugh.  Yeeech.  I don't 100% get that CatchPhrase from Dick Van Dyke Producer.  The short Man writer makes fun of Producer, primarily for his bald head, and the producer's comical retort (at least that they've been trying out for This Dozen Of Entries [episodes Freudian slip sorry!] is Yeech.  Like you say if something's gross.  Being made fun of isn't gross!  It's Disrespectful and in Poor Taste but its YEECH. The 1960's were just a different time.  People didn't know how to react to other people! 
    Something along those lines, right?  I'm 100% on board with TV shows being measured in Entries.  You get 22 Entries a season.  I like it!  Makes me wanna write TV!  I've never written a TV episode before, seems daunting and impossible.  TV ENTRIES, though?  Get out of my way I'll knock some TV Entries Out Of The Park like it was nothin'!  Anyway.  Lunch is gonna be Rest of Macaroni & A Meatball.  Prove me wrong!  You can't!  Hasn't even happened yet!  Unless your method of proving me wrong was was setting into motions the circumstances where I can't be right!  Like you come into my home and Hide The Meatball.  Then I'll inevitably be wrong but You'll Still Be A Jerk!  Yeech.




Here Read This

   Sounds good to me.  I believe theres Five More Star Wars for me to watch?  Episodes VII-X and 2 one-off'ers?  That's great, just great.  #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  Startin' too look like a more accurate Summer Prediction is #DickVanDykeSummerToSummer.  Also the second summer is a verb.  No reason, "Summer," can't be a verb!  Just because It's Not, that doesn't mean a thing!  But then I'll Forget #MarvelSummerToRemember which was EXPLICITLY what I didn't wanna do.  And I won't be inspired by $StarWarsToDoSomething.  And whatever The Next Thing is #ForTheAges.  Ugh.  Anyway, jeez, lunch is coming up in a paragraph or two.  I like those odds!  I like watching Them Get Lunch or Breakfast @ The Office in DVDs.  Some guy is like alright here's your sandwich or bagel or whatever and they're like thanks and then he's like that'll be 2 dollars and 10 cents or whatever and they're like here ya go! and the only reason to have that scene is just for Lunch Fetishists like me.  Gotta be a lot of us out there, right?  Otherwise Why Would That mini-Scene show up every other episode?  Doesn't Add Up!
.  The point is I Just Checked On My Meatball It's Exactly Where I Left It.  The good news is once this paragraph is over, its time for lunch.  Why do I have to write this paragraph first?  I dunno clearly you've never written Website Episodes before.  Sometimes you need Fine Future Lunches to motivate yourself through No More Than Mediocre Paragraphs.  Hmm wonder what the kid from DVD is up to now.  LMLTURQ.  Well... not a lot.  But he's still alive!  Presumably!  It's possible he died and they never updated his Wikipedia Page!  After Dick Van Dyke, he's never again done anything noteworthy Apparently (Exact Quote From Wikipedia) so if he did die 6 months ago we probably wouldn't know it yet.  But I'd like to think he's still alive!  I don't mean to make fun.  I'm sure DVDII is still alive and thriving at whatever he's doing He's an Adult Now he can decide whether he wants to be alive or not!
    mmm this meatball is the tops.  Also the macaroni is heavil ysalted but not heavily salted enough!  Also I decided to eat the elbow macaroni with a fork Just To Mix Things Up!  Anyway I can think of about a dozen things I'd describe Elbow Macaroni as before I get to elbows.  1) semi circles 2)half circles 3) crescents 4)partial circles 5) somewhat circles... the point is I forget what I was talking about.   I know there's a lot of talk owing Human's Technological Success to Opposable Thumbs, but I don't think enough credit is given to Our Elbows.  Without them we'd only be able to move Our Entire Arms.  Hmm.  Makes sense to me.  I think.
    2 paragraphs to go!
  It's a lot easier to eat macaroni with my fingers than with a fork.  So I've been eating with my fingers!  It's fun, convenient, and productive!  Also I really use my opposable thumb for some of the action!  Anyway I like all this salt.  I know they say you shouldn't drink salt water, and that it won't quench your thirst but make yuo more thirsty... but I dunno I don't, "Buy," that.  If I'm lost at sea, I don't care what anyone says, I'M GONNA DRINK SOME SALTWATER.  It's water!  Who you tryin' to fool!  You just wanna save all the saltwater for yourself! I'm onto your games!  Not drinking Salt Water is, "Fake News!"  Sounds about right.
    Last paragraph!
  Also if salt makes my macaroni delicious no reason to think it wouldn't have the same effect on water!  That's gotta be a weird delicacy somewhere, right?  Like a 6 Star Restaurant, there's a special meal made with just a Hint of salt water.  Just almost wrote, "Salter," instead of salt water.  A portmanteau of Salt Water.  It's not funny but It's Convenient!  How did we settle on Using Stars To Rate Things.  Hey you know how Stars Are Great?  Naturally We Should Use Numbers Of Stars To Rate How Great Things Are!  Makes no sense to me but what can ya dp.  There's salt in all of our favorite drinks.  Sodium.  That's where electrolytes come from!  But I mean LEGIT Salt Water coming from the ocean.  I feel very strongly about this!  I'll see ya later.

-3:12 P.M. 





Wednesday, July 8, 2020

I've Seen All This Before

   Sure.  Anyway, Hot Take vaguely inspired by watching Dick Van Dykes-- what kind of Gaslighting Bullshit is calling Producers, "Producers."  They do the least producing out of anybody!  That's like calling the owner of the factory a Builder.  Well I OVERSEE building.  Abstractly without me and my factory there Is NO building going on at all.  Building as a verb!  Not a noun!  I do Oversee Building too, as a noun, but that's neither here nor there.  Well it is here.  Or there, depending on where you are Right Now.  Anyway The assembly Line Building is What I Do!  Also I wanted to call Dick Van Dykes DVDs but you could see where that might create some confusion.  And if I did that, there'd be no way to explain the confusion away so you can see the kind of bind I'm in with the whole thing.  Anyway, watching the first 1/4th of Star Wars III: Star Wars VI, I realize oh yeah I DID have these movies on VHS.  At least The Parts V and VI.  I just rarely watched it and when I did I didn't absorb any of it For Some Reason.  It's like my Brother chose to pop in Return Of The Jedi and I was like well time to tune out.  What else do I got going on.  Maybe play with my scrotum some more.  These are the important issues.  Hah look at me go!  That's right I was COMFORTABLE with my pre-adolescent sexuality.  I'll play with my balls IT'S FINE FOR A CHILD TO DO IN COMPANY. 
    Anyway what else do I got going on 25 years ago.  Overabundance of VHSs where I had movies I didn't even absorb, some great ballsack that could withhold the Pressure Of Constant Playing, a brother who has similar but IT TURNS OUT NOT ALWAYS 100% taste on movies as I do.  Wonderful, what else is going on and crap.  I don't play with my balls anymore.  Especially since a few years ago there was some sort of small growth or something on the Right Of My Ballsack.  I had it checked out and its tot ally benign but it's still there.  And I ain't touching that.  I don't wanna make it worse, c'mon.  Play it safe.  Sure it's affected my life negatively not playing around with my ballsack but We All Have To Make Sacrificies In Life I Feel Very Strongly About This!
Cool.  48 Hours until Alcohol Consumption!  I can hardly wait.  They wrote a song about it and then they made a movie about it but the song came before the movie and I came before the song apparently.  What else is going on and crap.  I was looking into Universe Ending and I don't 100% get the tendency of Smart People to be depressed about the Universe Probably Ending in a trillion or so years because they're like hmm so there's an End to this, we know that much.  C'mon if you're smart enough to think about Universe Extinction you're also smart enough to be at most agnostic so you should be comfortable with the idea that There's An End To All This.  Also, just accept that hey maybe there's a multiverse nobody knows.  Maybe they're upset in a more global (pun not intended because It Would Be A Wrong Pun!) way instead of personal.  Yeah, I'm gonna die, they think, but at least Other Stuff Will Survive!  Now they're like well fuck ALL OF THIS is gonna go.  Makes sense to me.  Then again we got A TRILLION FUCKIN' YEARS TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT C'MON.
    What's the over/under on Mankind's Total Extinction.  Or maybe an over/under on Near-Total Extinction.  Gotta imagine Near Total Extinction would be this or next century at even money, right?  I feel like there'll be some survivors and Hey We Wish Them The Best Of Luck.  Also hey universe is expanding at 72 KILOMETERS A SECOND!  My theory is that sometimes people who are have Dizziness Spells Attacks are just tuning in for a few seconds into how Earth is fuckin moving around quick as shit, both around the sun and just in terms of expanding universe, and they momentarily are like WOAH THIS IS GOIN' FAST.. ok back to normal.  That's my theory based on nothing but it SOUNDS kinda cool. 
    My Dad's Hot Take on Upcoming Presidential Election is that Trump is gonna come out with some miracle cure for Pandemic right before the election.  Meanwhile, My Hot Take is that I Don't Like Anyone Else's Hot Takes!  I got some Great Hot Takes but Your Hot Takes Probably Aren't As Hot As Mine.  Still decided to share My Dad's Hot Take it so I could follow it up with this Gem about how We All Think Our Hot Takes Are The Hottest.  But it turns out a lot of us aren't Hot Takes at all!  Either in terms of it's an Accurate but COOL Take because other people have thought of it for weeks or maybe it's a Hot BUT INACCURATE Take it's an interesting new take but NOPE Not Actually Gonna Happen You're Way Off!  Something along those lines, right? 



Get Back To Me Okay

   Sweet.  Dad and Mom tryin' to guilt trip me about alcohol but this time around I'm like Nope Not Into arguing about it or feeling guilty about it or worrying about you worrying about it MY MIND IS MAE UP I'M GOING TO DRINK SOCIALLY WITH MYSELF AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!  Anyway am I supposed to be wearing masks when I walk 20 feet from my front door to throw out garbage?  People walk by wearing masks on the sidewalk.  I get as close as 12 feet from them.  I see 'em looking at me, JUDGING ME WITH THEIR FROWNY FACES (one can only imagine), and I wanna be like NO I FUCKIN' LIVE HERE C'MON IT'S OKAY DON'T WORRY.  YES I HAVE TO YELL IN YOUR FACE LIKE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL TAKE WHAT I'M SAYING SERIOUSLY AND REALIZE HOW MUCH I AM SORRY!
Something along those lines, right?  Great.  Also, in reality, I'm asshole because my real thought is like well they'll be okay I Probably Don't Have It what are the odds!  Meanwhile, 1/2 of the entire population of people who don't wear masks probably think the same thing and use that as an excuse.  Yeah but when I THINK AND ACT THAT WAY ITS OKAY.  Because I REALLY AM pretty sure I don't have it!  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.  My Mom is still fiending for some smokes.  She's asked me 4 or 6 times over 2 or 3 days if I had 1 or 2 cigarettes (I made up the, "1 or 2," part for good measure).  And I'm like yeah we had this discussion already.  So the good news is Her mind is in a real fine place.  That's a relief! 
    Ugh.  I offered to take a walk and get her cigarettes from Corner Store.  She said nope!  Also I assume its still a Corner Store even if it's halfway through the block.  I always liked that phrase Corner Store.  I dunno where I picked it up-- never heard it used in Regular Conversation.  But I Enjoy It So Get Off My Back About It Okay.  Bodega is a fun word too.  Sounds Foreign, like South Asian, Or Asian, Or Middle Eastern, or MidlowerEastAsia, you get the idea.  Which makse sense because that's where many Bodega operators come from!  Gonna look up etymology on, "Bodega," right quick BRB.  From Spanish, it turns out!  That's closer to Asia than a lot of places!  Like us.  At least on the East Coast.  Hawaii and Alaska and potentially The West Coast are closer to Asia than Spain POSSIBLY I DON'T HAVE THE NUMBERS CRUNCHED AS OF NOW.  Hmm Spanish people can own BOdegas.  Anyone except Really White People.  Never see that.  Rarely see African American Bodegas, too.  Not In NYC, not in my experience at least.  Hmm wonder what that's all about.
BodegaMen and BodegaWomen gotta be essential workers, right?  Let's give them lip service by using that phrase approvingly and then not help them out financially or with medical care or by doing anything to alleviate their Healths and reduce their Risks.  Sounds like a fair deal THEY GET COMPLIMENTED And Flattered To that's a big part of it!  I dunno what's going on anymore.  Other than we should take care of essential workers beyond just calling them essential workers.  Makes sense to me, right?  What else is going on and crap.  Now that I think about it not a lot of BodegaWomen either.  Hey what paragraph are we up to right now.  I'm gonna guess nine.  I was right!  I guess I'm Some Sort Of a Genius!  A Counting Genius!  All the way to Almost Double Digits!
    Fascinating.  Producers do More Producing than Just Owning the Building.  They mostly Co-ordinate the producing is my understanding.  Still BS, though!  Well if we're talking about it, what exactly IS the product.  Film on the table!  Audio cassettes on the table! A remake of Les Miserables with a new person cast as Cosette!  On the table!  The point is the director produces more than a producer and a producer sometimes directs slightly more than a director AS PER MY UNDERSTANDING!  But also, The Actors are producers.  They produce ACTING.  I dunno what I'm talking about anymore.  What else is going on.  It's possible I've never seen Star Wars before but am just remembering parts in Spaceballs but I dunno now that I think about it probably did have those VHSs.  Definitely not Bought Directly Star Wars.  VHSs that were taped from TV.  I feel very strongly about this!




Take Care Of Yourself

   The first two DVDs I got were Meet The parents and Me, Myself, And Irene.  I can still recall the dumb music they played over the Main Menu of the Me Myself & Irene DVD.  Never was in the movie.  Just some dumb music.  But it was REVOLUTIONARY in terms of consuming Film.  Main menu? SUPPLEMENTARY MENUS?  You mean I get to watch THE TV SPOTS FOR THIS MOVIE ALL OVER AGAIN?  It's like stepping into a time machine!  Ugh what else is going on and crap.  Over halfway through #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  Right now a very likely successor of that is a #HarryPotterSummerForTheAges.  Assuming those films are available to me on Streams.  I could look into that RIGHT NOW and I may I just might!  Nah I don't think I'm gonna do that.  Look into it, I mean.  Gotta have some sort of Summer For The Ages, whether its Harry Potter or Home Alone or any ohter franchise based around children doing Practical Jokes ton Adults.  FICTIONAL, though.  All those movies where it's like Jackass but it's All Children PracticalJoking All Adults?  Not on board with those.  It promotes too many negative ideas and practices, Not Safe!  Be careful out there adults children may be being conditioned to practical joke you!
What was I talking about.  Oh, right. On my fourth of four cups of coffees.  Gonna have Some Sort Of Lunch in a bit.  If I could choose any October Surprise from Trump/FOX News, I hope The Caravan makes a return.  Like in October they just go HEY EVERYONE THE CARAVAN STARTED UP AGAIN!  Part of it Is Good because obviously that didn't save 'em in 2018.  But also its good because lol that'd be silly I LIKE THAT SORT OF BULLSHIT FOR SOME REASON.  Also is it a new caravan that we're worried about, or, preferably, is it THE SAME CARAVAN!  THEY TOOK A, "SIESTA," HALFWAY THROUGH MEXICO FOR 2 YEARS, BUT WE HAVE SATELLITE IMAGES THEY'RE BACK ON THE MOVE!  The Caravan Missile Crisis.  Also, look, if you're so desperate that you want to come INTO America during pandemic, look, you've got my support.  You must really want it, I can't argue with that at all!  Also ESPECIALLY IF You're GANG 13!  They'll help us overthrow the tyranny of statues that we all hate so much that's what this is all about.  People are just upset about statues.  Statutes of limitations MAYBE.  Maybe!  Can't count that out at this point! 
Three more paragraphs to go!  The point is I Am Unequivocally A Producer.  I make paragraphs.  Before me these words were never A Thing Together.  And after me they Always Will Be.  I set that into motion, me!  Whatta great producer I am.  Pro Duece 'er.  Shit is someting everyone accpomplishes at Producing.  I hope so.  If you're having trouble accomplishing any sort of shit, you're in a lot of trouble.  Also a Duece is a shit.  #2.  #1 is pee, #2 is crap.  I feel like this is common knowledge.  Not sure what that accomplishes.  I guess its better to say #1 or #2 in polite company, but I dunno, that's even grosser to me.  How would you like it if you were having a dinner party with your neighbors (Playing Bridge or something), and your neighbor's wife (who is also your neighbor but more accurately is married to your Man-Neighbor) is like I gotta go Number Two.  I've been watching too many DVDs but the point is in 1961 its No Bueno to have a woman going I'm gonna do a number two on TV and I still don't wanna hear it 60 years later!
    So I got that going for me is the point.  Also, I don't think this is still the case, but I have a vague memory of When I Was A Kid, if I had to do a #2, I'd ALWAYS also have to do a #1.  I have a memory of thinking of that as A Description Of My Plans.  If I ahd to take a crap primarily, I'd say that (if I had to for some reason I can't think of).  But then I'd be Going At It and I'd also be peeing and I'd be like well... uh... the point is when I was a kid I always peed when I shat but I don't anymore?  But I thought that was a universal experience when I was a kid?  Maybe it is?  But I don't think I do that anymore?  I dunno maybe I DO Still Do That and I just can't picture it.  I'll keep you updated on this situation as it progresses.
    Last paragraph!  Probably something was wrong with me and now isn't wrong with me but I have dozens of other things wrong with me that I didn't use to have wrong with me.  So it all evens out is the point.  Great!  4 Meals until Friday Re-upping with Supermarket.  Figure I can make some Macaroni, that's 2 meals.  Maybe some sort of turkey sandwich, that's 1 meal.  What's the last meal gonna be.  I dunno I think I have some sort of Frozen Meal or something I'll Figure Something Out Don't Worry About Me.  Or I can just skip one lunch.  Lots of good options at this point!  I'll see you guys later.

-3:02 P.M.




Tuesday, July 7, 2020

What Do You Make Of This

   Sure, why not.  Alright, #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething Hot Take-- Princess Leia looks like Amy Schumer.  Alright, Mathematics Hot Take-- I was crunching the numbers with Trump's approval/disapproval rating, and one way to conceptualize it is, out of 20 people, 11 disapprove, 8 approve, and 1 is uncommitted.  That's a lot of people!  11 to 8?  That's a solid win in a 9 inning game!  In an extra inning game, too!  In a 5-8 inning game?  EVEN SOLIDER!  Anyway, obviously the closer we get to election day, the more solid Biden's lead in the polls looks, but I just look at Trump's Approval Rating, not just his prospective 2020 Ballot Polls... he's been stuck at ~39-43% approval rating HIS ENTIRE PRESIDENCY.  He's polling mostly in the high 30's/low 40%s in Election Polls right now.  How can he jump 5 points in the polls, which is The Least he would need, without jumping 5 points in approval ratings?  Which doesn't seem very likely considering his track record?
    Time for some laugh-em-ups!  Hmm that paragraph makes ME laugh.  For any number of reasons!  Trump is a brilliant political strategist though because hmm 40% of people are on board with me... I'ma double down on that!  Pretty sure 40% is enough to win an election!  And maybe it is, I Dunno!  They'll do their darndest to make 40% enough to steal the election.  Hmm suddenly this paragraph DOESN'T make me laugh.  They did a poll where it's like 6 or 8% of Biden supporters wouldn't feel comfortable voting in person due to COVID, where as 2% of Trump supporters feel that way.  Which they say would translate, if you don't account for Mail In Ballots to pick up some of that slack, to around a 3% shift in the results.  That's a huge percent to Cheat For and why is this not being shouted from the rooftops?  Let's say Biden is up 50/43 going into the election?  So he Ends Up 47/43 in the National Popular Vote?  That's enough for Trump to possibly win electoral college.  So the point is Don't Do That.  Makes ME laugh!  That's great, just great.
    I don't like news stories that are just secondary or tertiary evidence to stuff about Trump we already know.  Trump cheated on his SATS says his Family Member.  Yes we have Many Primary Evidences that he is both stupid and that he is a cheat.  This adds very little to the story.  Unless you wanna use it in terms of Asking Him About it.  Hey Trump got any thoughts on how you had to cheat on your SATS?  That's a relevant question.  But, to me, it means close to nothing.  I'd like to know For Certain his motive, though.  Please his parents?  Too human.  Because he wants to Go To The best Colleges Because He Wants TO Be In High Society?  Possibly.  Just because He Felt Like It For Some Reason?  I dunno that could be the guiding force in his life I DON'T KNOW AND WHO CARES I HAVE PLENTY OF PRIMARY EVIDENCE ON SO MUCH OF HIS CHARACTER AND BEHAVIORAL FLAWS!
    Anyway, Nurse came over this morning to administer a Blood Infusion for My Dad.  My Dad is Dracula and this is the safest way to do it for both Him AND the rest of us!  Also when you get blood infusions you drink blood I guess?  I dunno, maybe Draculas can consume Blood like a drug.  Snort it, sniff it, inject it.  Lots of good options for all the Draculas out there.  Hmm snort it OR sniff it?  You know what I mean  Just One Of Those!  And Also A Second (Or, at this point, Third) thing overall!  Oh, right.  Up the butt.  In the pee hole.  Gotta imagine drug users have experimented with injecting into the penis.  Or trying to Sniff It Up With Your peehole (Good luck!).  I'm under the impression that when you do Heroin, obviously its a whole body high, but it hits you first and mostest Specifically Where You Injected it.  So if you're looking for Some Quality Limp Dick Time, inject it right into that mother!  Let's see, Blood is usually drunk...  Sniff, inject, booty bump, blood enemas, Oh.  Hold it under your tongue.
    OH RIGHT FINALLY THOUGHT OF THE MISSING INGESTION SMOKE IT.  I knew there was a big one not coming to mind!  Sublingually was just another happy coincidence On The Road To Smoking It.  I enjoy watching my mom go without cigarettes.  It's very humanizing.  I mean, she's always been human.  But seeing her struggle with this, more for a person to relate to!  Also it's good for her health if she gets over this stuff, so part of it is probably I'm glad she's not smoking Right Now and I hope it sticks and that just manifests in heh she's upset right now that's presumably for a good cause now I'm on board with her whole, "Deal."  Also if I could I'd get her some cigarettes.  I just want her to be happy.  Something along those lines, right?
Anyway, about a third into The Empire Strikes Back: Captain America InfinityStones.  I think I must have had this on VHS because I vaguely remember one of the opening sequences where The Skywalkers are on Frozen Winter Planet and Luke gets in trouble with The Abominable Snowman.  I don't think I absorbed anything about the movie, there or further on, but it did kinda ring a bell.  Maybe this showed up in one of the 1 or 2 Star Wars video games I had.  Something along those lines.  Also beyond That Snowman I've never seen anything described as Abominable.  And also, Keeping it 100%, I couldn't tell you what Abominable meant (Until JUst Now LIURQ), I knew it was a negative thing, and presumably something that would fit Some Sort Of Winter Monster.  Anyway, it means like causes repulsion and disgust, that sort of thing. 
So we all learned something from this entry is the point.  Where the Hell did we get the Abominable Snowman From.  I could LTURQ But I Don't Want To!  I know it can be used synonymously with Yeti but I like the Abominable Snowman better.  Sounds like a Limited Edition Comic Book.  I learned the phrase Limited Edition Comic Book from Glass.  No spoilers but the phrase comes up in the dialogue once or twice!  Sorry For The Spoilers!  Anyway hey I get to take a break after this paragraph.  And my next alcohol intake is probably in roughly 72 hours at this point.  I'm gonna try to Smoke It, that's what I've gotten out of this Third Of Entry.  Be back in a bit.




Now That I Think About It

   I get it!  Maybe I just think Amy Schumer is my sister.  Or my girlfriend.  Or I'm a robot in her charge or something.  Or I'm her father/son.  Oh!  Or I'm her subject.  That's about all the relations yuo can have with a Princess Leia as far as I know.  The point is Sure I've Seen Spaceballs 8 or 10 times in my life get off my back about it.  Anyway I saw Darth Vader use The Force (The dark side?) to choke an incompetent subordinate LIGHT YEARS AWAY.  Dude was talkin' to Darth Vader on FaceTime and he was talking about his Failure to do this or that or the other thing, and Darth Vader was lik I Ain't Taking That Bllshit Anymore and then Choked him!  From an entire different Star System!  ALso, took me until Yesterday to realize oh, "Star System," that means, "Solar System." ...Probably should have been able to figure that one out when I was younger...
What else.  I was looking at Google Crunch The Numbers, and they say there's FUcking 100 BILLION STARS JUST IN OUR GALAXY.  And there's like 100 BILLION GALAXIES.  WHAT THE FUCK AR YOU TAKING ABOUT THAT'S WAY TOO MANY THINGS TO BE GOING ON AT ONCE.  Also they appear to average ~1 planet a star.  Presumably meaning most stars have no planets, but when they do, oh boy, watch out!  Ugh.  I thought it would be like, okay 500 or 600 stars per galaxy.  Maybe around the same amount of galaxies, and even THAT is a lot.  FUCKIN 100 BILLION x 100 BILLION STARS?  GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT C'MON.  I've probably talked about this before, but the one thing about Space that gets me going is how if we're on  a planet 100 million light years away, then we look back at Earth, FUCKIN DINOSAURS GOING ON AND CRAP!  There could be sentient beings out there and they're like Hmm looks like we found Dinosaur Life on this planet.  Also we know what Dinosaur Life is because we presumably had (OR ARE) dinosaurs here where we're from and whatnot.
The point is that's the closest we can get to time travel, right?  Seeing things that took place in the past.  Which I guess is everything.  If you wanna be, "Abstract," about it!  Fascinating.  I was thinking back to when I was in elementary school and once every one or two weeks we would watch a Bill Nye: Some Science Guy and that was a treat.  And it was always either paired with watching a Magical School Bus and/or a Ghostwriter.  Don't remember being on board with Ghostwriter one bit, not even enough to remember anything about it beyond the name.  Magical School Bus, though, that was a rare treat!  Oh how we loved the theme song.  And there's a kid named Carlos in there.  Teacher is called Liz or something.  Really makes ya think.  Was the School Bus Itself Alive?  I forget.  I know it could shrink down to fit in our blood stream, or travel light-years at a time to transport us Across Space.  But I also feel like It Was Alive and talked to The Teacher's Pet (Which was an actual lizard.  Not a student who sucked up).  I'll look into that at some point presumably.  Anyway.  In the same logic, if we see some planet 100 mill light years away, and they've got dinosaurs, we gotta be like HOLY FUCK THEY GOTTA BE PEOPLE NOW AT THIS POINT RIGHT? 
    The point is I'm gonna have a bagel for lunch in a little bit.
  We're talkin' Generous Amount Of Butter On Said Bagel.  Anyway, still making progress with Dick Van Dykes.  I was reminded of that because I was talking about, "Bagels," and there've been some scenes in the first dozen episodes where People Are Eating Meals.  Really makes ya think, huh.  II don't know what's going on anymore.  Anyway I realize I was a Jerk today because when Nurse came I wasn't wearing no mask.  Nurse was.  Dad was.  Mom wasn't but she was tucked away nicely in her bedroom.  Meanwhile I come down stairs, caution to the wind, pouring myself coffee Like It Was Nothin!  Now, I know I probably don't have Covid, but you never know.  Probably.  I was feelin kinda sick 2 nights ago, like perhaps the onset of a fever.  But that never grew, and in fact, went away.  Looks like I'm Still Alive For Some Reason No One Is Really Sure Of!
Cool!  Anyway, hmm, time to kill before bagel, hmm, gonna have to think about this one.  Just 20 minutes on Twitter after ending this section of entry and then eat bagel with last section of entry.  Sounds about right, it checks out and everything.  I don't 100% understand the logic behind Being Excited By Dinosaurs Especially In a Zoo Like Context.  I mean, I get that it's scientifically exciting To Be Able To Do That.  But what do you really get out of it, tangibly.  Oh hmm some animal that used to be around and hasn't been lately.  Fascinating.  What else ya go.  They're just animals like bison and buffalo and other stuff.  Yeah but Dinosaurs are MORE EXCITING!  THEY'RE WEIRDER ON THE EVOLUTIONARY SCALE THAT'S WHY.  Hey, I convinced myself why I was wrong!  They ARE weirder on the evolutionary scale!  I'll be back in a bit!





What Do You Expect

   Awesome.  I dunno about you guys but I'm starting to get on board with Longer Hair.  We don't really have a choice, right?  We can't moan about it every day.  Gotta reach a place where we're like well this is the way it is, could be worse, I guess this is something I can work with.  #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  Anyway, holdin' off bagel for Part II of Part III of Entry.  Fascinating.  Anyway Spoiler Alert I Was Wrong About Dick Van Dykes.  I said the first 2 episodes both involved one of the Van Dykes (Petres or something?) being sick-- but really it was Episode 1 and Episode 11 or something.  It just appeared to be the first 2 episodes on the streaming service.  I apologize for any confusion this may have caused.  I will step down from my position of writing this website to Spend More Time With My Family and think about Where Everything Went All Wrong.
    Hey stepped back up into this position.  Good exercise!  Like doin' a Stairmaster or somethin'.  What else is going on and crap.  I've been reminiscing about being High On Marijuana the last few nights.  Part of it is tied up with looking forward to alcohol which is also a mood alerting substance Per My Understanding.  But yeah I've been listening to music and sort of getting 10% there because The Same Music naturally activates The Same Memories Of Being High Previous Times I've Listened To The Music.  10% there is still pretty fun!  Anyway.  For the most part, thinking back to high school or NYU always seemed like a long time ago, but gettin 10% high On Music, I was like ya know what a dozen years is NOTHIN'.  Really makes ya think.  No it doesn't.
But the point is Put Being 10% High Away and Get On Board With Being 100% On Three Or So Beers Six Times A Week That's Right I Crunched The Numbers of Getting 18 Cans A Week And Everything.  Maybe I just don't like my Mom.  My dad is upset about probable forced-retirement due to Covid, and that makes me sad.  My Mom is upset because she can't smoke cigarettes, and I'm kind of on board with that?  I dunno its not really a good 1 to 1 correlation.  Sure it is Working is My Dad's cigarettes!  And smoking cigarettes is My Mom's job!  So you could see where my confusion and guilt lies and whatnot.  Ugh. 
    Anyway, Just Started Lunch!  I feel like ~25% of the time I toast a bagel, it gets caught in the toaster.  And 100% of those times I'm like, well, fishing it out with a knife, that can't be safe.  Right?  No, definitely not. ...is anyone looking.  My Dad turned away for a second, nows my chance to fish this out with a knife.  And so far I'm still 100% alive and am only 10% electrocuted!  I'm probably only 90% alive, there's gotta be Some Death In Me, right?  Like, if we're all made up of symbiotic relations between micro-organisms, those micro-organisms gotta be dying all the time?  So some of me is constantly dead is the point.  Sounds bout 10% accurate. 
Hey, possibly the last paragraph!  Anyway are you ready for The Real Good News?  The half of bagel I just finished was the Less Buttered Half!  The next half has all the butter my little heart desires!  Or at least slightly more than the last half More Accurately!  Maybe make myself some macaroni for dinner tonight.  It's either that or Something Else.  I've narrowed it down to those two things.  Anyway, finish Empire Strikes Back.  Maybe start The Next Star Wars I Wanna say Star War Rebels: Back In Action something along those lines.  Return of the jedi?  That sounds wrong.  The Jedi never left.  Maybe RESURGENCE of the jedi, that sounds like its more what you're trying to say.  I'll see you guys later for some reason no one is really sure of.





Monday, July 6, 2020

I Don't Like Where This Is Going

   Started Episode IV of Star Wars this morning.  Quick, Hot Takes-- 1) Non- CGI C-3PO looks like a Children's Bowling Trophy.  2) why are two robots (C-3PO & R2D2) friends?  I mean, I can see them Working Together, but they have falling outs and sarcasm and seem to have genuine feelings with each other for some reason.  Anyway, here is a Real Hot Take I've had since I was a kid-- I don't relate to R2D2 AT ALL!  I remember consciously thinking that, and even when not consciously thinking that, that was the subconscious thought through All Of Star Wars.  Even when R2D2 is not on screen.  Yeah this is an interesting story but remember that R2D2 how am I supposed to relate to this?
    I dunno.
  I had this thought earlier today that when I was a teenager, I thought it was funny to be offensive On The Internet.  And it makes me think, what percentage of the Alt-Right White Nationalist Internet Presence is Just Children?  I'd say easily the majority of Racist ,"Alt-Right," Social Media Users are either Bots or Under 18.  I'm basing this on intuition.  You might call it, "The Force!"  That's how the biggest source of power in the universe manifests itself in me.  Hmm gonna make some intuitions that very well could be wrong but I'm So Strong I'll Make 'Em Anyway!  Sounds about right.  I wonder how much of Fake Sibling Porn owes its existence to Star Wars.  First thing Luke says when he sees his sister is "OH MAN SHE'S BEAUTIFUL GIVE ME SOME OF THAT SWEET SWEET YEAH YEAH" verbatim.  Doesn't seem right!
    Anyway here's a plot hole-- Obi Won Kenobi is played by two different people and we're just supposed to buy that?  Also, James Earl Jones sounds NOTHING like Hayden Christianson!  A lot like Jake Floyd but that's neither here nor there!  Well it Is Here.  Totally relevant to where Here is.  Sounds about right.  Is I think it's Jake Lloyd.  I knew that my entire life, but then I called him Jake Floyd as a joke a few entries ago, and now I guess I think his name is Jake Floyd... which it may be.  LMLTURQ!  Yep Lloyd.  Hey Google says Jake Floyd is 5'5!  That's pretty short I'm On Board With That I Wonder How He's Doing Now.  Probably not well based on that height.  Oh well what can ya do not much.  HJO was probably around that height based on my memory.  I wonder if there's a correlation/causation between child stars and height.
    It could either be Kids Who Get Cast To Be Stars are inherently on the smaller size compared to their Actual Age.  OR it could be their parents are injecting them with Anti-Growth-Hormone their entire adolescence so they can get cast as a kid for that much longer.  I'm putting my money on that!  Sure I have money!  I've got dozens and dozens of quarters!  Get off my back about it is the case!  Not 100% on the logic of seperating Luke & Leia at birth.  Hmm twins.  Well, the obvious thing to do is not only separate them for some reason no one is sure of, but one of them hits the jackpot and becomes royalty and the other one works on some Dust Farm (as far as I know its a farm that deals in Dust).
  I don't get it!
    Anyway.  I dunno how it turns out in Episodes 4-6, but Future-Darth-Vader loses in almost all of his big Battle Fights.  First he gets his arm cut off.  Then he gets cut in half completely.  For someone who is presumably THE most powerful guy, he sure does a lot of losing.  I like Sith Lords That DON'T get cut in half, is the point.  Anyway.  Without being totally familiar with Star Wars at all as a kid, I remember reading about, when the Prequels were being done, George Lucas was like oh I always had this entire story planned out, Episodes 1-6 at least... and I remember being like SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME!  He's just trying to sell his Prequels as being canon, but I think he's pulling this shit out of his ass as he goes along!  Now that I think about it yeah I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.  So the point is I Was Wrong And I'm Sorry.



Does This Title Mean Anything To You

    I feel okay with that title.  I'm extremely bad at Aiming Throwing Garbage Out.  From my chair or my bed, I'm about 8 feet away from Garbage Can.  I get probably around 8, 10 shots each day.  Whether its gum, lollipop sticks and/or wrapping, whatever.  And not only do I always miss but I always miss the same way!  I always over shoot it.  And then I have to decide well do I wanna walk over and throw it out Manually?  Or am I Just Okay with leaving the gum on the ground to stick to carpet.  It's about a 50/50 shot each time this scenario presents itself.  The point is my life would be exponentially better if I had that Mini-Basketball Hoop you can hang over a door as well as a Mini-Basketball to shoot into the Mini-Basketball Hoop.  Not only is it fun but its productive!  That skill might translate to throwing out garbage!  Hmm really makes ya think. 
I watched Superman III about a year ago.  That's kind of like binge watching SuperMen.  More like watching A Prequel to Office Space.  No spoilers!  Also I've seen that movie once or twice and it's not about Office Space at all.  It's about characters who mostly work in offices.  And their Work In Offices is the main part of the plot.  But the Office Space itself?  Not really a big player in the plot or conflict or anything.  Yes It's The Setting for a good slice of the movie but I don't call Spiderman... uh... I should probably think of The Reference I'm GOing To Make based on its correlation instead of just thinking of a movie and being like SPIDERMAN THAT'LL DO THE TRICK As Well As Any Other Movie...  because it doesn't. 
    It's like if Spiderman was called The Newspaper Office where Peter Parker Sometimes Goes To Work.  He doesn't work out of the office.  He just shows up here and there to personally deliver his photographs.  Gotta think if he's Freelancing it he could just do that by mail or currier or something along those lines.  Even when he Makes A Play for a staff job when He's On Venom, I don't see him getting a desk there and that being his 9-5.  What the hell is this paragraph about again?  Oh, right.  I saw a Superman Once (I saw Superman 11) and that equates to binge watching Superman Right Now.
  How's the world going.  Pretty sure stuff is still going on more or less.  Leave me out of it!  Alcohol is 4 days away!  Leave me out of it!  Wait, no.  I wanna be Into It With Alcohol.  That's my campaign promise of July 10th- ~August 14th.  Six weeks!  Get Into It With Alcohol!  Should I specify Alcohol Brand?  Probably!  Otherwise it's just sponsored by the Alcohol Advocacy Organization-- THE AAO. But, no.  If you're drinking Coors Light, Chores Might... be... more fun or something I don't have all the details.  That's the Campaign Promise Of That Commercial.  Anyway what was I talking about.  Oh, right.  I I forget.  Anyway why is there a Dark Side to the force anyway. The force is a good thing, right?  Why would a good thing Go Bad if there's too much of it.  That's like saying Star Wars Is A Good Thing but too much Star Wars suddenly is ba... oh I see how it goes.
The point is I like imagining I'm talking to people who like Star Wars because I Relate To Star Wars Nerds abstractly even without being a Star Wars nerd myself.  But talking about My Hot Takes activates In My Imagination Possible Ways I Could Carry A Star Wars Conversation.  It's fun!  I'm using the Dark Side to imagine these Nerds but it's for a good cause!  I think if its for a good cause the Dark Side should be okay.  If you're using it altruistically.  That's  MY Hot Take On Star Wars!  Also as far as I can tell The Force is just Telekinesis.  At least 90% of the time.  And I guess Instincts.  Like you can sense what's about to come.  But tangibly it's just hey I can pick up that thing 8 feet away and do stuff with it.  Fascinating.



Makes Sense To Me

    I guess, to some extent.  I don't really think you should use the dark side in ANY situation.  C'mon you know me I wouldn't Go All, "Dark Side," On Ya!  I can't wait to not talk to imaginary Nerds anymore.  So many other kinds of imaginary friends out there Why Should I Settle for Star Wars Nerds?  The point is hey part three of the entry!  What else is going on.  Oh, right.  Never having really watched The Original Three Star Wars intently, just knowing the basics, it always bothered me how Darth Vader is presumably the super villian but also Darth Vader answers to a more politically powerful if not force-powerful person.  (The Emperor).  It's like if we were fighting World War II but there was another SUPER-Hitler that Hitler acted on behalf of.  Kinda weird!
    I'm full of Star Wars Hot Take is the point.  Yeah there was a super Hitler his name was FDR SPOILER ALERT.  Look into it, you'll be saying Hmm seems to check out actually.  I guarantee it.  No i don't.  Anyway what else is going on and crap.  Gotta figure that was a KKK-esque Hot Take in World War II.  FDR and the Real Fascists are trying to get us involved in a war we don't belong in and/or should be on the other side of.  Fascinating.  I'm under the impression the KKK isn't very powerful these days. Other groups have blown past them in terms of attracting Trump Supporters.  Also instead of saying Racists I went with the synonym of Trump Supporters prove me wrong! 
    Cool.  I wish I was alive when FDR was president.  Not so much that I wanted to be alive in the 1930's and 40's, but more that I wanted FDR to live to be 200 and continue being president All Throughout Modern History up to this point.  I think that'd be really funny to see a person, a president at that, progressing through his mid 100's before a national audience!  Also at some point you gotta imagine his legs would revive and he can start walking again.  You don't live into your 200's without your body learning some Revival Skills.  None of this makes sense.  But such is life!
  Watched me some more Dick Van Dykes.  Now I'm figuring out that I also like the Dick Van Dyke aspect.  I liked the writing and the plot and the characters and the Mary Tyler Moore but now I'm also getting on borad with the Dick Van Dyke!   Also no way is FDR in his 200's.  If he was president in the 40's, he couldn't have been past his 70's or 80's... and its significantly Less Than 100 Years Since Then... I'm gonna have to go back and Re-Crunch The Numbers on this completely.  The point is he's Dozens of Years Older than he should be and Isn't That Enough?  My guess?  Yep, sure, what else ya got goin' on for me in this entry.  One more paragraph, huh?  I can, "Dig," that.
Sounds good.  Got about 1.5 chicken fingers left.  Gotta imagine I'll base some sort of lunch around that.  Maybe just That and a Soup or somethin'.  Fascinating.  So looks like I'm predicting my Alcohol Summer Stage to be six weeks.  I think that's a very long time but also Hey I could be predicting Alcohol LIFETIME, six weeks, that's nothin'!  Good compromise is the point.  Now all I need to do is to figure out what other franchise to binge watch after #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  I'll do Harry Potter sure if its available to me!  I feel like I've watched a solid 50% of Harry Potters.  I assume its just a remake of the Home Alone franchise.  But Harry and his friends (Gerald and Hannah, I believe) use Magic to foil robbers instead of Practical Jokes.  Anyway I'll see ya later. 

-3:44 P.M.




Sunday, July 5, 2020

I Don't Know What This Is

    I've got a lot of thoughts on Star Wars that I'll get to in a paragraph or two.  Real Hot Takes that no one has ever thought of before.  Lemme lead off with this, though, which is Space Fiction related.  The Alien campaign slogan of In Space No One Can Hear You Scream... look, if I'm already IN SPACE, ALONE, and I'M SCREAMING FOR SOME REASON, other people hearing it is pretty low on my list of concerns.  Also, I'm pretty sure if you're Also In Space, within a 10 feet Radius of The Space Screamer, sure you'll probably hear them!  I would re-write the campaign promise as When You're Alone No One Can Hear You Scream.  ESPECIALLY In Space For Some Reason!  The point is OH NO I'M IN SPACE AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS HAPPENING I NEED TO SIGNAL TO SOMEONE MY FEAR AND ABJECT TERROR MAYBE THIS KIND SPACE BYSTANDER WILL SAVE THE DAY ON MY BEHALF.
Anyway.  Started binge watching The Dick Van Dyke show and Boy Oh Boy am I on board with the Dick Van Dyke show.  Seems like the ideal life.  You got writing comedy.  You got Mary Tyler Moore.  You got that kid who seems great good for him.  That's about it, that's all you need!  Also it's am amusing show-- I enjoy the jokes and comedy in the dialogue and plots and Characters.  Only 2 episodes into it but I've Got A Good Feeling About This One!  Also talkin' about Carl Reiner naming his son Rob, THIS GUY DICK VAN DYKE IS NAMED ROB.  Presumably after Rob Reiner was born, that's my assumption but I guess I'll LTURQ.. yep by a large margin.  Also I enjoy how its called The Dick Van Dyke show when that's Just The Real Name Of The Star and isn't even about him abstractly.  Well maybe anstractly.  When you put it that way ANYTHING Can Be ABSTRACTLY.  Anyway, I dunno if it was supposed to be sort of satirish and/or ironic.  Because the name applies when its like Hey what show do you like and you're like Hey I like that Dick Van Dyke show.  Makes sense to me!
    Anyway I've got A LOT of problems with Star Wars.  1) Light Sabers.  First of all, they serve no greater purpose than just Regular Sabers.  Except for how you can wave them to stop bullets, but that doesn't make sense either.  Lets say someone is shooting 2 machine guns at you simultaneously.  You can't just wave your light saber at light speed and be like ALRIGHT GOT THAT BULLET GOT THIS OTHER BULLET ALRIGHT BLOCKED THIS NEW BULLET... it's not physically possible!  And in hand-to-hand contact, yeah, you're just fencing essentially.  And also, these epic lightsaber battles that are the highlight of the movie-- these guys got NO lightsbaer games.  It's literally the same thing as Michael Cera doing Light Sabers in Arrested Development which makes him the laughing stock of that plot point.  There's no difference.  It's just actors waving around their arms and then George Lucas is like alright go wave your arms around a lot we'll make it look Epic in Post.  OH NO ITS SPACE AN ALIEN IS COMING I BETTER YELL TO SIGNAL TO PEOPLE I'M IN TROUBLE SO THEY CAN SA... WAIT A SECOND THIS IS SPACE I FORGOT NO ONE CAN HEAR SCREAMS IN SPACE AS PER THAT CAMPAIGN PREMISE FROM THAT SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE.
Anyway, about 1/3rd into Episode III.  It's hard for me to watch any sitcom from the 40's-60's and not have my main thinking being hmm I guess that's what my Dad's life was like.  Except for the times I'm thinking hmm I guess that's what my Mom's life was like.  Usually Dad.  If there's kids who have plot points usually the boys, that's been my experience based on 40 minutes, and a plot where there are no girls in it at all.  Except, no, that's why I'm digging Dick Van Dyke.  I dunno if its just that I'm In The Right Headspace Now or This Is Just The Right Show (probably both!) but now I'm relating to Adults in shows!  Or not relating to them!  But being, "On board," with the adults as opposed to being like hmm what's that kids life all about.
I saw Kanye West is, "Running," for, "President."  Hmm.  Really makes ya think.  Like, hmm, I wonder how many idiots are out there that could realistically vote for him.  That's the main thing it makes you think about, that's been my experience.  Also I dunno if he would definitely take votes away from Biden.  You'd think Trump Votes Are Trump Votes and any 3rd party candidate would take away from Biden, even if its .5%.  However, his Real Base would presumably just be dumb people which overlaps very cleanly with Trump Voters.  So I dunno what to think!  Oh, not take it seriously.  I forgot that was an option.  Anyway.  Gonna have that fancy roast beef sandwich and some crisps soon.  Real soon.  I'll be back soon!



I Was Hoping You Knew

    Why am I defining potential Kanye voters as dumb? 1)Trump must be defeated at all costs, any non-dumb person can see that, and I don't see a scenario where Kanye is more likely to beat him than Biden.  2)Kanye is Kanye West.  He's not Dumb, but he is, uhh, unstable?  mentally ill?  Based on my limited knowledge of him as a person, at least.  So it's dumb to want him to be president based on that, regardless of what his politics and priorities and whatnot are.  3)he can't win so it's dumb to waste a vote on him.  And if you have to make a, "Protest Vote," not sure he's the guy and this is the election you wanna do it with.  4)this isn't a real thing?  Probably not, right?  Anyway, though, it might be a good thing.  Maybe he's doing it so he can Raise Some Issues, issues we might be on board with!  But based on What I Know As Of Now, all I know is yeah probably would be dumb for him to be president, and it's probably dumb for him to run, and its probably dumb for us to take this with any degree of seriousness at all, but beyond that, I dunno. 
    Anyway, this isn't Star Wars fault, but I was watching Episode III during CircleWalk and I accidentally let my computer mouse hover over the Line on the bottom of the screen which lets you Jump To Any Part Of The Movie You Like, and it was all the way near the end, and I saw a Pop Up Screen of Credits Rolling.  So Now I Know There Are Credits At The End Of This Movie.  The point is I'd wager even money I'm Crazier Than Kanye but then again I'm not running for president.  Why bother I'm gonna win in a landslide either way.  When you're Me, running for president is an after thought, totally unnecessary!  I dunno, what else is going on and crap.  I can't decide if Kayne either Thought This Through and is 5 steps ahead of all of us with what he's going to do, or that seomehow he Thought This Through to a Negative extent-- not only Didn't Think This Through At All, but he did NEGATIVE Thinking Things Through Somehow.  Or maybe somewhere in the middle I DON'T KNOW!
    Jeez.  About halfway through the entry at this point.  Figure Today'll be finishing Episode III and some more Dick Van Dykes and presumably some Strange Addictions and/or Interventions.  It's a non stop party.  I dI did realize that the first instinct I had to Kanye Announcing/Kanye's Potential Supporters/Presumably Kanye himself was Dumb, and that's Trump's comment about Any Time A Black Person Does Something Or Just Exists.  They're low IQ.  But I don't think Kanye is dumb.  He's probably a genius.  I'm totally on board with half a dozen of his songs completely and one day I'm sure I'll delve further into his catalogue and enjoy it!  So he's not dumb, he's just kind of crazy.  Big difference!  But people who would support him-- black, white, other, non-raceXtertiarry uhhh... the point is those people are dumb presumably.
Also yeah in most situations anyone who doesn't agree with me is dumb.  That's just life I can't control it I didn't ask for it to be that way!  It Just Is!  I'm Wrong A Lot Of The Time based on simultaneous mental illnesses.  But take those things out of the equation and I'm Right Most Of The Time.  Anyway I wasn't a fan of how in my neighborhood, FireWorks started around 10 PM and hadn't ended by the time I fell asleep around 12:30.  Uh.. it's 12:00 AM... THE NEXT DAY.  YOU MISSED YOUR SHOT Maybe You Shouldn't Have Started So Late!  Which is also an alternate take on Kanye.  Yeah if you started campaigning last December MAYBE WE'D TAKE A LISTEN TO WHAT YOU GOTTA SAY at this point Sorry You Shouldn't Have Started Too Late, Now If You Wanna Start Campaigning for 2024 That's Another Story...
Sounds about right.  Probably Be Havin' Some Lunch for last section of entry.  That sounds like fun.  Also I'm on board with Celebrating July 5th!  Alright Quitting Being A Colony is a great first step but the trouble is COMMITTING to it, you gotta go each day without falling back on being a colony of England.  Every day counts!  July 5th, looks like you didn't cave and beg to be welcomed back to Great Britain, Now Let's Celebrate... I dunno what I'm talking about anymore.  The point is Mmm I like that Meredith Tylerson Mooreville.  Get off my back about it!  I dunno.  I'll be back in a little bit.




Do You Have Any Idea

    Am I supposed to watch Han: A Solo Movie before I watch Episodes IV-VI?  Someone please give me the answer @ Mankindguy@gma*l.comLol.  Gmarl.  I get it.  Anyway, the last few months I've been Doing Sandwiches Wrong because when I choose to heat up Sliced Meats in microwave, the sandwich ends up sloppy and wet.  Because it activates the juices!  So this time I put the meat in microwave, came out juicy, soped up the juice, then had the sandwich and it all worked out for the best!  Yeah Juice Is Where The Flavor Lives but we all have to make sacrificies in search for A Better Sandwich and this is the sacrifice I had to make today.  Anyway.  A week from now I shuold be done with #StarWarsSummerToDoSometing.  That's good news!  Cool.  ALSO in search for a better sandwich, I compromised between Not Toasting Bread and Toasting Bread, by Toasting It Lightly!  AND THAT WORKED AS WELL.
    Ugh.  When Ruffles Nutrition says 12 Chips is 160 calories, how do they define a chip?  I mean, I know what a Nice, Regular, Standard Chip looks like.  But that's like 10% of the bag.  The rest are tiny Pieces of Chips.  But is that what counts as a chip.  Is the Big Chip the official chip, and 12 of those are 160 calories?  Or is the Standard Chip, The Most Common Chip, is it only 12 of those that are 160 calories?  I hope someone figures this out one way and then e-mails me the answer @gmarl.com.  Cause there's a strong case to be made either way.  Anyway, I dunno, end of entry is in sight.  That's exciting.  Figure when I'm done here I'll watch some bullshit I don't have to pay attention to.  Then after that I'll watch some Better Bullshit that I have to half way pay attention to!
    Cool.  Yes I realize its complicated to want Dick Van Dyke's Fictional Character's life because it was over 50 years ago and Things Have Changed and also That Was A Fictional Life In The First Place.  But it's nice to have a thing where I'm like well THAT man oh man!  Also I'm 40 minutes into a series that's very possibly tens of thousands of minutes!  His life can go sour at any moment!  Also EVERY EPISODE I'VE SEEN has, "Getting Sick," as a key part of the plot.  1st episode? Dick wants to go to a party hosted by the TV Show He Writes For's star, but Mary Tyler Moore is worried their kid is sick and wants to stay home.  No Spoilers on what happens!  But episode II Dick Van Dyke HIMSELF becomes sick and that's... uh... HOLY SHIT DID THEY INTEND THIS?  Hey the kid is sick in the first episode, spreads to Dick Van Dyke in the second episode and we never even call attention to it... oh man they were working with multi-episode Plots I had no idea!  Cracked that code.  Why is it, "WE' never even call attention to it."  I wasn't involved in writing this show at all!  Not as far as I know!
    Ugh.  The good news is This Week Is All About Diet Dr. Pepper.  Last couple weeks was splitting time between pepsi and orange soda.  Not this week!  This week I'm, "All In," with Diet Dr. Pepper.  Which is my campaign premise for them.  Go, "All In," With The Doctor!  Also I get that carbonated beverages were originally prescribed by Doctors to help with one thing or the other, but that doesn't explain why The Soda ITSELF is called Dr. Pepper.  That's like inventing Polio Vaccine and they're like alright just gonna inject some Dr. Jonas Salk into ya, that should fix 'er right up.  I assume he was a doctor.  If Jonas Salk was Anything Other Than A Doctor that would be the big story, right?  LAYMAN CURES POLIO! is one headline off the top of my head.
    Wonderful.  Another entry in the books practically.  Kanye West 2020-- when you're famous they let you do it.  Run for president, I mean.  And gain national attention for it.  I dunno I'm sure Kanye West is qualified to be president for some reason no one is really sure of.  That'd by my guess!  Man, you don't just QUALIFY to be president!  Don't put people in boxes, man!  Anyone can be a president!  You make an interesting point but on the other hand I Disagree Pretty Strongly.  Also I question the motives of someone Who Wants To Be President in general.  Why do they want as-close-to-near-absolute-power-as-they-can-imagine?  That's not the kind of president we want!  We want a president who doesn't even want to be president!  That'll do it for today.  I'll see ya later.

-3:50 P.M.




Saturday, July 4, 2020

Well Sure When You Put It That Way

    Great!  Again, had something vaguely worth sharing right before waking up this morning.  It was in the form of a Joke!  It went, I have a very active sex life.  I have several female imaginary friends.  ... that's it.  It's funny because it's true!  Except for the very active sex life part.  That's wholly inaccurate no matter what the next sentence says.  Great.  Also had another DreamPlot sort of right before waking up.  My Dad was getting Food Delivery From Diner for first time since Quarantine but he never asked me what I want and I was like REALLY?  REALLY?  And then I started thinking about what I would want and, in the dream, was like, well steak would be the obvious choice but you know what what if I went with FRENCH TOAST.  Then again, all this is moot, because my Dad already placed the order.  Then again, all this is moot, because it's just dumb things I dreamt.
Cool!  I've been having French toast once every 8-10  days During Quarantine.  That'd be a huge bust getting French Toast as First Meal Back In The Land Of The Living.  Anyway, about 3/4ths through Star Wars Episode II: Presumably Some Clones Attack But I'm 3/4ths Through And So Far I've Seen Manufacturing Of Clones But No Attacking.  Also that's not what clones are.  The presumptive clones are robots. Clones are you take the DNA of a LIVING creature and then make more of them.  This is just attack of the Robots Who Are The Same As One Another.  That settles that.  Also I don't get how a handful of Jedi are a supreme peace keeping force across the galaxy.  I've seen them in 1 on 1 combat, and they usually come out on top, but once they're out numbered 3 or 4 to 1, they start struggling.  Uh there's like a dozen or two of them Overall and MILLIONS AT LEAST OF BAD GUYS.  Just send a dozen bad guys against 1 Jedi and BOOM 5% of the jedis are lost in just One Confrontation!
    These are the real issues for some reason.  Mom watched Hamilton last night.  I didn't!  I was taking a shower when she started and didn't wanna See Any Spoilers 30 minutes in.  Do we win the revolutionary war?  Probably.  Sounds about right.  Also when I was a kid WE SPOKE OF OUR ELDERS WITH RESPECT THAT'S MR. HAMILTON TO YOU.  Anyway, gotta imagine there's some Hamilton Descendants that are demanding royalties from Broadway Musicals, right?  That's what I'D do.  Ugh the life and times of someone is a matter of public record.  Then how come I've been paying royalties to Darth Vader's Estate even just TALKING about Star Wars?  Well he sure SEEMED legit.  He said The Evil Emperor died and he, Darth Vader's Grandson is on the verge of inheriting 5 million dollars as long as I front him some, IT'S A GOOD DEAL!
Also if The Yankees were The Evil Empire does that make Joe Torre The Evil Emperor?  Because I gotta say I don't feel strongly one way or the other about Joe Torre.  That's all I have to say about that.  Anyway, hey, great, what else is going on and crap.  Wait a second, Darth Vader's Granson...  Uh... that would be "Ben Solo."  That's what internet said.  Yeah I just googled, "Darth Vader Ancestry," it was fun and informative!  Is Adam Driver Ben Solo?  Probably.  LMLTURQ.  Yep checks out.  Hmm the point is either way this guy is not to be trusted.  If he's making it up then obviously its a scam.  But even if it is him, I know for certain Kylo Ren is not on the up and up I don't wanna get involved with this character at all!
    Also I was kinda surprised Yoda and Samuel L Jackson (The Link Between #MarvelSummerToRemember and #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething) were pretty on board with Obi Wan Kenobi teaching Hayden Christianson about the force.  Look, Yoda sensed in him much fear.  He was pretty adamant about this guy is no good.  And then his Jedi subordinate, a person IN GOOD STANDING with Yoda even after this act of defiance, is like nah I'm just gonna teach him anyway.  And Yoda is just COOL WITH THAT?  I don't get it!  Also I get that if you don't train Anakin Skywalker you don't get a Luke or Lea Skywalker and if you don't have them you don't have etc, etc... the point is... uhh... I forget.  Oh.  Family is important.  And half of your family will be evil super villains but that's just part of life.  Sounds about right.  Oh, right.  Natalie Portman is another crossover between MarvelSummer and StarWarsSummer.  Hey how about that.




Don't Play That Crap With Me

    Okay!  Not sure why Adam Driver (either in character or not) is trying to scam me out of a few thousand dollars.  Seems like he'd have bigger fish to fry.  Also what kind of dummies think that Frying Fish is the main way to cook them.  Yeah there's Fish Filets and Fish and Chips but that's just the dumbest cheapest unhealthiest way to do it.  You really wanna bake some fish or something.  Look I'd rather eat Fried Fish too, but it's too unhealthy!  We shouldn't be promoting unhealthy eating habits in our adages or metaphors or whatever I was talking about I don't really 100% fully remember.  Also I like how the premise of BIGGER fish to fry works in this metaphor.  Yeah you can easily handle frying some fish, not too hard, ooooop some guy just brought in a REALLY BIG FISH TO FRY HOLD ALL MY CALLS THIS IS GONNA TAKE A WHILE.
Something along those lines, right?  Settled on #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  Feels about right.  Also it reminds me of Russell Brand's Rock Star Anthem in Forgetting Sarah Marshall Do Something.  It reminds of that because it's the Same Two Words.  Not exactly a mystery why that would come to mind at all!  Anyway woke up relatively late today at around 12:00.  That's not relatively late that's late.  You'd think so, right?  What are your Quarantine Schedules like e-mail me at mankindguy@gma*l.com I wanna hear from you!  Lol.  Gmarl.  I get it.  I hope not.  Anyway got full-out Crisps from super market yesterday.  NOt Popped.  Not Baked.  Not Kettled.  Just A Party Size Bag of Original Ruffles!  Also you know its a party because the bag is 1.33x the size as a non-Party bag.  It's a regular good ol' fashioned July 4th BBQ but only me, party size bag of chips, and Dream Frenched Toast.
    Where the Hell are the Fish Filets when you need 'em.  Not sure what that sentence accomplished.
  Cool!  I'm having fun watching Star Wars because it's like yeah I'm relatively further along in Finishing Watching Star Wars!  And also each day I'm watching Star Wars UnDrunk is closer to the day I will be done watching Star Wars or Almost Done Watching Star Wars OnAlcohol!  So basically that's where I'm at for what the next week'll probably be all about.  You heard it here first!  I hope so.  If other people are talking about my life, in contexts I haven't even figured out yet, well, then, that's a No Bueno situation.  Maybe that's what Adam Driver was accomplishing with his Scamming Me.  GOD DAMN KYLO REN FIRST HE TAKES MY MONEY THEN HE TAKES MY LIFE CONTEXT AND SHARES IT WITH PEOPLE BEFORE I EVEN KNOW IT.  This Is The Life We Chose.
    Road To Perdition quote.  I always liked it.  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.  I keep trying to Whistle Star Wars but every time I try I start Whistling Superman.  I just tried to do it Again JUST NOW HAVING SAID THAT and I failed yet again!  Alright here we go DAMNIT alright again DAMNIT again YEAH FINALLY DID IT!  See I knew writing these entries I'd eventually accomplish something worthwhile.  Also, full disclosure-- the 3rd time around when I finally did it, I finally started off on the right note, and then figured well that's good enough no reason to follow through with this I already got the hard part out of the way.  This Is The Life No One Ever Chose.
    Jeez.  I dunno.  Chicken Fingers & Crisps for an early dinner tonight.  If I have to eat Another Meal I'll have Fancy Kobe Roast Beef Sandwich as a Late.. 2nd... dinner... fascinating what else is going on and crap.  Anyway, as a replacement for Interventions, I started re-bingewatching My Strange Addiction.  And this time around I'm Not In A Good Headspace For It.  Because for 2 out of 3 of them, I'm like Hmm I could see the positives in that I WON'T try it but I dunno part of me KINDA wants to!  People who drink blood, eat hair, have sex with inflatable pool toys or balloons or their cars.  All these things I'm like well its not for me but I Get It, I'm There With Ya.  Except for balloons.  I can think of few things more grating than a balloon.  They feel weird.  They sound and look weird.  If you pop it that's an assault on all the senses.  And because of this is you have to super careful not to pop it, which is a hassle.  So yeah I don't like balloons one bit.  Now, LOVING a balloon though, that's a different story.  Opposites Attract is the point?



Now We're Getting Somewhere

    No way!  What else is going on and crap.  Hey guess whose an adult and shaved himself again?  This guy!  That's like a dozen shavings in the last 4 months which is legit the most I've ever shaved myself in such a period of time in my life.  Fascinating.  Anyway, I dunno, part III of III of entry!  Finally sorted out my difficulties with Coffee Machine.  Last dozen times I made coffee grinds be goin' everywhere up on top where the filter is.  My hypothesis was because I was making too much at a time.  It has space for up to 14 cups and I was doin' around 8 at a time.  Which is much more than I used to top out at, at around 4 or 6.  So to experiment today I only made 5 cups and It Went Over Like Gangbusters which I believe is an The Untouchables phrase.  And in this context it means coffee grinds didn't go everywhere.
It's funny because it's Another Paragraph Down.  Makes ME laugh!  Jeez.  After starting to watch the StarWarsRelativeSnoozeFest, I appretiate the #MarvelSummerToRemember a little bit more.  Was it the best movies of all times?  No!  Were they all in the top half of movies of all the times?  No!  But they Did Their Job and Accomplished Their Mission Statement and Killed Roughly 45, 50 Hours Pleasantly Enough!  We should only be so lucky if #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething ends up accomplishing more or less the same thing, which is my guess!  Anyway, I keep trying to think of a Third Link between StarWars and Marvel but I can't figure it out.  I keep trying to think of Ewan McGregor.  I think of Ewan McGregor, and I'm like nope I don't think he was in Marvel. and then my next thought is Ewan MacGregor and I'm like yep still don't think he was in Marvel.  And then I go back to Ewan McGregor and am like nope still pretty sure he wasn't in Marvel still.  That is a 100% accurate account of my inner monologue except for the fact that overall it's happened at this point about 10, 12 times instead of 3.
    I guess.  Star Wars was the first thing I ever learned to play on any instrument.  Just the basic one-note-at-a-time riff on the piano. And for some reason that was enough to satisfy my musical creativity from ages 0-15.  Figured that out intuitively enough at some point, then was like well that's the Top Song why bother figuring out anything else.  Makes sense to me.  Pretty sure I started Guitar in ~Spring 2004.  Which would have made me 15.  Oddly enough, never made a habit of playing the Star Wars Riff AT ALL on guitar until yesterday or so when I was like I'ma figure this one out!.  Went from being My Only Music to Nothin' At All.  What else is going on and crap.  #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething will be continuing very soon with me finishing Episode II: Captain America Returns.
    Wonderbar.  2 Paragraphs To Go!  So far my favorite take on Hamilton I've heard was my Dad saying I didn't realize it would be in Hip-Hop.  Also one of only 2 or 3 takes I've heard on Hamilton In Person, so its not that hard a decision.  The point is I'll probably watch Hamilton at some point.  That's the Hottest Take On Hamilton I've Heard In Minutes!  Anyway whens the next Avengers movie.  #MarvelLifeTimeToRemember.  Ugh.  Hey is there a place I can bingewatch Spidermen.  Or Batmen.  Seems like something that should be available to the American Public in a JUST world.  I figure if I recommend it in this paragraph we're on a few business days from it manifesting on Streaming Apps.  Also are applications still called Apps if they're websites and/or on a Computer.  Or if they're the, "Starter' Section" At Applebees.  Could have said any adequate-ish chain restaurant for an Appetizer Pun.  I chose the one that STARTS UNRELATEDLY with Apps?  Seems I could have made that pun is a less clunky way!  Too late to go back now!  We're Pot Committed At This Point!
    Last paragraph!  That'll do for today.  I wonder if anyone goes on My Strange Addiction because they're like well the way I am living is unequivocally The Best and I'm going to try to accomplish Spreading This Across The World.  Like the guy who is into inflatable pool toys.  He's confident that he'll inspire a Renaissance of People Who Have Intimate Relations With Inflatable Pool Toys and he's doing society a huge solid by putting his story out there.  Personally, I think he's crazy either way, because if that idea of His Perfect World does come to fruition, he's gonna cause a huge spike in Pool Toy Sales and now if he wants to start a new relationship its gonna cost him ~.5% more Per Pool Toy.  Makes sense to me.  The point is I'll see you tomorrow.

-4:57 P.M.




Friday, July 3, 2020

Man, You Don't Remember Star Wars

    Awesome.  I had a dream right before I woke up today that I was writing Back To The Future IV and the first scene in Back To The Future IV was Me Writing The First Scene of Jurassic Park IV.  I get there's Jurassic Worlds, now that I've woken up and given it some thought, but I stand by my Dream-Idea of returning to the original franchise with those characters and basic ethos.  Anyway 2/5ths into Star Wars I: Captain America Begins and ya know what JAR JAR BINKS IS AWESOME.  What's WRONG with you people I LOVE THIS GUY.  And I dunno if he's racist.  He talks really fuckin' stupid but he's A GREEN ALIEN c'mon.  There's some guys on Tattooine that are cartoonishly into money and I'm not like WELL THOSE ARE OBVIOUSLY JEWS!  Although I was like THOSE ARE OBVIOUSLY JEWS so there's that I guess.  Alright I'm on board with both Money Hungry Aliens and Aliens Who Talk Like That.  I feel somewhat strongly about this.
    The point is FiveThirtyEight made it harder to access the Generic Congressional Poll and I'm not happy about it!  It's still easy to find, but its not on the front page anymore!  How am I supposed to be soothed by generally unchanging positive polls now?!?  Clicking ONE EXTRA HYPERLINK TO GET THERE?  NOT IN MY LIFE TIME!  Anyway got Super Market Delivery this morning.  That's all taken care of except for the parts of it I haven't done yet.  So the good news is Some Fresh Meatloaf and Potato Spheres for dinner tonight, most likely some Fresh Frozen Pizza for lunch today!  I already left it out of the Freezer to defrost!  Pretty much pot committed at this point!  I'm in it to win it with Digornio.  Which is my suggestion for a new Campaign Slogan if they decide to drop Its not Delivery Its Digornio.
Which, I'm gonna be honest, is a synopsis for pizza I have mixed feelings about.  It never made me want to get Digornio! Because I Like Delivery Pizza!  You're telling me right up front it's NOT delivery well you've lost me I'd prefer it if it WAS!  I'd much rather they would say,  It's LIKE Delivery, It's Digornio.  But anyway the Campaign Premise, yeah, I personally don't like, but I do realize its succeeded at making people remember it and think of this brand specifically.  Just not always in a positive way.  But anyway I've crunched the numbers and for some reason the phrase I'm In It To Win It With... applies directly and specifically with Frozen Pizza.  I just TOLD YOU I CRUNCHED THE NUMBERS AND EVERYTHING.  Why won't anyone believe me?!
Anyway besides Jar Jar who I un-ironically enjoy not much to this movie so far.  Also I've seen this kid Anikan NOT IMPRESSED.  They sasay he's got Jedi Potential but I just don't see it.  Just some dumb kid.  He's good at building things but c'mon it's the FuturePast, all kids build robots Back Then In The Future.  Also besides his Pod Racer, the main thing he's built was C-3PO whose best attribute, per my understanding, is his ability to speak Every Language.  Uhh... how do you make a robot that speaks every language... when you're a Slave Boy living on one planet with no experience with 99% of languages.  Unless he just bought a Language chip that he puts in his robot to make it speak.  In which case, like I said, NOT THAT MUCH OF A BUILDER THIS THING IS 90% PRE-ASSEMBLED ALREADY.
The point is I'M NOT BUYING IT.  Also why couldn't they just wait an extra 2 or 3 years to make the movie so they could have HJO waiting in the wings to play Jake Lloyd.  Wait, he's playing Jake Lloyd?  Yeah it's like a Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder situation.  He's playing Jake Floyd playing Anakin StarWalker.  Hmm there's a few things in that sentence I can point out to be wrong.  Anyway I'm about One Week + 1 or 2 hours away from Drinking Beer.  Let's crunch some numbers 7 x 24 sounds like 168 to me off the top of my head?  NAILED IT!  I just did 7 x 25 - 7 DUH I keep telling you I'm Professor Genius GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT. My therapist would be so proud of me.  That's her job now per my understanding!  HMM MAYBE I HAVE THE FORCE, BEING ABLE TO DO MATH IN 4-6 SECONDS.  I'll get that checked out one day.  Michael, you've tested positive.  SO I'VE GOT THE FORCE?  No you've got Coronavirus.  You just gave your parents a death sentence.  Way To Go. SO I'VE GOT THE FORCE, EHH....




At Least I Don't

    I was thinking about it, and I wonder if Differences In Teeth lead to and/or are caused by differences in diet.  I mean, you have some different orthodontistry to your teeth, you're biting on things differently, and if you bite on things differently, you may eat more or less, and/or you may eat different things, and so on.  Also, say you got a chipped tooth, that might effect things too.  I mean, just think, overbite vs underbite.  You're crunchin' on whatever with your teeth DIFFERENTLY its a wholly different experience no reason to think it wouldn't effect your Dietary Choices And Practices!  NO REASON AT ALL.  JUST LIKE FOR THIS PARAGRAPH!  NO REASON AT ALL.
Anyway, having some difficulty trying to decid whether this Star Wars Summer should be remembered or forgotten.  I feel like To Remember is more positive, but To Forget is more fun.  Or reversed.  I dunno!  Leaning towards #StarWarsSummerToRemember.  These are the important issues facing our country.  Well, Yeah!  Also Also if I start drinking again gotta imagine that'll help me Not Remember Things.  That an important part of the equation and as we all know I love equations I can solve them all within 4-6 seconds per my experience in previous paragraphs!  Anyway #StarWarsSummerToForget.  I'll flip a coin or something.  10 Times.  One Flip could be a fluke, we need to give the universe an opportunity to really show what it prefers.  Which is Ten flips apparently.
The good news is, at this exact moment in time which no longer exists, I will be having Pizza in slightly less than 2 hours.  Hmm.  It still IS slightly less than 2 hours even accounting for time continuing to progress.  Even NOW.  Man, I don't believe this.  I'm gonna keep you guys updated on this situation as it progresses.  Or, more easier, I'll let you know when this situation is done progressing.  And lunch is either Less than Slightly Less Than Two Hours Away or somehow MORE.  Anyway.  Also Back To The Future IV wasn't about me.  Or Jurassic Park IV, even, really.  That was just the opening sequence.  But the point is I Won't Keep You Updated On That Situation As It Progresses because the dream is over.  No more dream!  Such is life.
    Cool!  Anyway the point is I wasn't able to watch the Hulk and the Two Avenger-Spidermen but I feel like I got most of what I was supposed to get out of Avengers:The Film Franchise.  Anyway MeatLoaf and PotatoSpheres is a GREAT fresh dinner to have because I Don't Have To Do A Thing!  All that needs to be done, I think, is put it in the oven, and my Mom is pot committed to doing that!  In the sense that she's done it the last 3 times we've gotten it.  If she decides to be like Mike you take care of it this time I would be like Nope pretty sure you're pot committed to this whole thing.  Which would be weird because she doesn't know Like You And I Do that I use the phrase Pot Committed way more than I should in situations where it's not an applicable phrase to use.  She doesn't get me at all.  You, though, you get me.  Pot Committed at this point. 
What else is crappening.  Tomorrow is July Fourth which is some kind of holiday I wanna say Independence Day?  Yeah there was a movie about it now I remember.  There was also an Elliott Smith song about it.  There was also a sequel to the movie about it.  Those are the 3 things which Independence Day Is From.  Is there a solid 5-10% chance Trump tweets something like THANKS TO ME AMERICA IS FREER THAN EVER!  And basically his premise is that now HE IS INDEPENDENCE DAY.  My guess is yeah sure why not what else is going on and crap.  They didn't even celebrate independence day before me, not really.  I said there were some great patriots, they gave us our independence, and I said I think we should celebrate that...
Fascinating.  Anyway, hey, still slightly less than 2 hours until I eat lunch.  I dunno.  Now it's slightly less than 1.75 hours.. I guess that's a dividing line.  So, wonderful, what else is going on and crap.  Today and yesterday only had 2 cups of coffee.  Gotta wonder if that'll pay off in the long run.  Doesn't have much of an impact on The Long Run at all.  Yeah you'd think so.  And the thing is Digornio DOES taste like delivery.  Which is good!  But they're sort of implying they're diametrically opposed to delivery and I dunno I don't think it's working out for them as well as I'm In It To Win It With Digornio! would be.  Just trying to help, that's all I'm here for.  Trying to help Frozen Pizza market itself better.  My main purpose in life.  I'll be back in a little bit.




Now I Don't Know What To Think

    Decided to have lunch about 45 minutes sooner.   Making this entire entry up to this point Irredundtanent.  Oh well such is life.  I was just thinking about it and 130K deaths in the USA is thatssa lotta deaths.  Both overall and also each day is a lot.  These last few weeks, which is down compared to its worst (And future-worst!), it calls about 1/2 the amount of  Any Cancer Kills each day.  So the point is I'm ANTI-COVID-19 which is a political stance for some reason?  I Don't Have All The Details on why but hey that's life I guess.  If nothing else from the Trump era kills the Republican Party once and for all, ya gotta think History will be like well clearly a party that, without exaggeration, encourages its members to get and spread a highly deadly pandemic disease, that's not sustainable as a legitimate political party at all!  We'll see, I personally can't wait to find out! 
    Anyway pot committed to Star Wars Now?  I guess.  I can watch like 2-3 hours of Star Wars a day, though, as opposed to 4-5 hours of Marvel A Day.  Also I can do whatever I want #StarWarsSummerToRemember or #StarWarsSummerToForget are not legally binding promises I can bail on this premise any time I want.  The point is It's Not Digornio, It's Delivery would be a commercial that Peaks My Interest.  That's a freebee for Hermain Cain, he needs all the help he can get these days.  Anyway, are there places in outer-suburbs or rural areas where they're like Food Places that deliver and they sent out newsletters saying Yes We're Still Open and Yes NONE OF US WEAR MASKS OR SOCIALLY DISTANCE!  And then the people who get those newsletters are now you're speaking my language I think I'll buy food from THEM.
My guess is Yes people are that dumb these days.  Republicans have the stupidest presidential candidates.  Hi, I Lost More Money Being A Real Estate Failure than any other man ever.  PRESIDENT.  Hi, I'm in charge of a Pizza Franchise.  I LIKE THAT WE'LL PUT HIM IN THE MAYBE PILE.  Also gotta imagine Herman Cain is involved in pizzagate.  The Pizza World is too small for a Gate to be going on and Herman Cain not to at least know about it.  So Republican QNONers show up at Herman Cain events and they're like look you know pizza, throw me a bone here, whats that all about I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT PIZZA IN COMMON.  Also, I'm not 100% what PizzaGate is, but my impression its something like Clintons & Others operate a Pedophilia Ring... out of a pizza place?  Well it sounds stupid when YOU say it...
I was thinking about it and the one thing Trump is good at is Being A Criminal.  I mean he's All Sorts of Criminal.  And thus far has gotten away with 99% of it!  So at this point he's Knocking Being A Criminal Out Of The Park!  At some point his luck might run out, I dunno, its possible.  But at this point Great Job Doing Many Deplorable Crimes!  I just think its ODD that there's both a Product 19 and a Covid 19 and most of us never heard of Products or Covids 1-18.  Hey what's the story about six and a third times three.  Product 19.  Professor Genius strikes again!  I guess.  Alright I just finished pizza.  Almost finished with this paragraph.  Then finished with entry after Next Paragraph! 
    LOL I JUST IMAGINED JAR JAR SPEAKIN' HIS SILLY NONSENSE AND THAT GUY CRACKS ME UP.  If we were to have an academic discussion and you convinced me He's A Racist Caricature That I Shouldn't Enjoy then I will CONSIDER your point of view and MAYBE adjust my levels of pleasure when I see and hear him go.  Because at that point its ruined now I won't enjoy Jar Jar for being Jar Jar then I'll just SEE the stereotype and once you see it you can't un-see it.  Why is all that in italics I should have easily said the last few sentences without emphasis at all.  Anyway I saw this movie in the Theaters and I don't remember it that well except for everything in the Weird Al Song "The Saga Begins (to the tune of American Pie)".  WhiWhich is pretty much everything.  The entire plot.  Committed to memory.  So, uh, I forget.  #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.  I'll see ya later.

-2:20 P.M.




Thursday, July 2, 2020

Today Is July Two

    At First was gonna say, "July Too."  Then was gonna say, "July 2."  Never thought to say, "July To," but now I do.  Ultimately settled on, "July Two."  I stand by my decisions even (ESPECIALLY) when they're shown to be empirically wrong, as in this case.  Kinda crappy title.  Anyway 1/2 way through Captain Marvel and Hey This Is A Pretty Good Movie Too!  So far I've seen that the protagonist is The Captain Of Something but beyond that I have no clue what her name is.  Spoiler Alert-- Turns out to Be Marvel per my understanding and assumptions.  I just spoiled something for myself and the spoiler itself might be inaccurate.  Well IT SPOILED THIS PARAGRAPH THAT'S FOR SURE.
That paragraph was a Snooze from Word One!  Let's Be Honest!  Gotta PhoneCallAppointment with my Psychiatrist in about half an hour.  Lets see if I could finish Section I of entry before then!  See it hardcore!  The piont is if I get one thing out of the #MarvelSummerToRemember is that in essence its a #MichaelPenaSummerToRemember that guy is silly and charming lets talk about it!  Or at least the character(s) he plays(ed).  Turns out Actors are phonies they don't actually mean what they say and do in Films!  Spoiler Alert.  Anyway.  Maybe if I was mor invested in Comic Books and Comic Book Movies (shouldn't we jut call them Comic Movies?), I would have realized all throughout 2009-2019 We Were In One Big Movie.  I thought each of the 30 Marvels between them were just like hey decided to make an THOR for now just felt right.  Now I see it was a big prolonged Scam and I refuse to fall for it again in the 2020's!  Fascinating.  Just gonna take that break now to prepare for AppointmentPhoneCall.

    Hey great just great.  Saw FreshDirect sells beer.  Probably gonna start drinking Beer Next Week!  #WeekWithoutBeerButAnticipatingItToRemember!  %LetsGo%.  Been 2 months without beer its time I reward myself with something bad for some reason I dunno I don't have all the details I wanna say it' chemically and cognitively and emotionally addictive?  Sure I know what words mean cognitive means BrainThoughts.  Emotionally means IFeelThisWayOrSomething.  Chemical MeansLike HeyThere'sChemicalsGoingOnForSomeReason.  WellWell that settles that.  A week to go!  I'm gonna drink all that BUD Light or COORS Light you know The Good Stuff!  I could have gotten it for this Friday but I was like Ya know I wanna start #StarWarsSummerToRemember off right!  I don't wanna be drunk for the beginning, I need to Get Into It in a healthy mindset AND THEN start abusing alcohol for some reason no one is really sure of.  Hmm looks like I'll start abusing alcohol Right ARound The Best Movies Are.  4-6, right?  Alright #StarWarsSummerToRemember returning to the sweet warm embrace of alcohol with The Real Good Star Wars movies!  I'll remember that summer all day if I have to!

    That's wonderful, just wonderful.   Mom finally ran out of cigarettes fo herself, as her plan.  She was smoking less and less until when she runs out and then Hey Great Chance For Her To Quit!  So basically today she had me going through everything in my room to make sure I don't have A Loose Cigarette for Her.  I told her about how 7/11 delivers (also 7/11= .63 NOW YOU KNOW)... ANYWAY just talked to Doctor.  Was telling her how becaus I live with elderly/pre-existing parents I'm not leaving the house at all and she was like I'm very proud of you a lot of younger generation don't do that and care about parent's health and I was like MAN I've been talking to you for half a year and not really on board with your whole, "Deal," but you saying you're proud of me NOW I GET IT AHHH THIS IS WHAT PSYCHIATRY IS. 
    That's gotta legit be one school of psychiatry, right?  Just Positive Reinforcement.  That's probably how Normals see/use it.  If that's the case I could be a physiatrist like it was nothin'!  Just have a half dozen phrases I cycle through.  Hey that's great just great.  What else is going on.  ...okay only Two Phrases but those are all you need!  BBut the trick is you gotta REALLY MEAN IT when you say thats great just great and you gotta BE REALLY CURIOUS AS TO what else is going on.  Hmm this sounds Easy and Helpful.  You could do it online, too.  You could do it however you want I ain't here to constrict a new Psycientartform.  Also you paint pictures while talking to them.  I dunno why but That's Part Of It.  I'll be back in a little bit!



Look The Point Is Its Gonna Be July For A While

    Maybe it shuold be #StarWarsSummerToForget.  That makes a lot of sense.  I like the premise of Star Wars fans because they're like THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER THAT I ONLY ENJOY 10% OF!  Probably, at least.  I'm using, "The Force," to imagine what a Star Wars Fan might be line.  Anyway.  I just used, "The Force," to make myself a toasted bagel and now I am, "Eating," it with my, "Hands and/or Mouth."  Also I am fully aware that it's probably 7-11 and not 7/11, in which case the answer is Negative Four.  I guess.  Already brought up the Potential Beer Purchase with my Dad which is the most stressful part of the whole thing.  And I'm sure he was disappointed but he didn't make me feel as shitty as he could have.
    Cop shows up at a Spouse Beating and the guy is like I Was using THE FORCE on her to get her to shut her Yap! And cop is like no that's just regular Force.  And the guy is like yeah but hey lets take a step back this is the first scenario Michael thinks of in which any sort of physical force is used-- Spousal Beating (and phrased that way for some reason) and its because the guy wants the lady to, "Shut Her 'Yap!'"  Let me be clear I don't endorse Spousal Beatings whether one  of them won't shut their yap or not!  Cool.  This bagel was a lot of fun because I went into it like I'm not only gonna butter this bagel, I'm gonna use an irresponsible amount of butter.  Just know that going in.  And it was worth it!  Kinda wanna do it again for Dinner!
    Hmm what other Sci-Fi Franchises are SummerWorthy.
  Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, DC Super Heroes...  I'll keep myself updated on this situation as it progresses.  Also for some reason I was imagining a Reverse Avengers: Infinity War into End Game where SPOINLER ALERTS instead of almost all the non-original Avengers disappearing, I thought it would be all the original Avengers disappearing. Either way, Avengers is finally an accurate word for what this conflict these characters are having is all about.  LOL I PUT THE SPOILER IN BOLD.  I said spoiler alert AND THEN CALLED EXTRA ATTENTION TO IT!  Finally something that made myself laugh In Real Time!  What fun.  #StarWarsSummerToForget.
    I dunno.  I don't have a lot of Dinner Options so another bagel is a legitimate thing to consider.  I could have some sort of turkey sandwich with some sort of gross soup.  It ain't fancy but it'll get the job done.  That's been the go-to bland meal.  Turkey sandwich with gross soup!  Wonderful.  Hey if we get 7+11 (18) delivered I can get seven beef jerkies and have a nice classy Steak Dinner.  I can do lots of things!  While looking through Desk for Cigarettes, I came across this bag of pebbles I picked up off the ground at some point years and years ago which I figured well this might be marijuana based or something.  Seeds, maybe!  But I tried smokin' em way back when and they're unsmokable.  It's not an herb!  You can try smoking pebbles all you want and you ain't gettin' anywhere!
    Fascinating.  Still have been holding on to them JUST IN CASE, though, apparently.  Cool!  Also sorry to say this but Thanos isn't such a bad guy.  He's motivated by altruism.  His actions are evil and destructive but as far as I can tell he thinks he's doing the right thing and maybe he is I dunno I'm not one to judge.  That's for the Judge Avenger.  Captain Justi... oh crap its me and I AM SPECIFICALLY The one To Judge!  Didn't see that plot twist coming at all!  Alright I judge him to be guilty life imprisonment without possibility of parole THEMS THE BREAKS WHEN YOU TRY TO KILL HALF OF EVERYBODY.


Parkour Brothers.  Is That a Thing.

    I was thinking about and is there a non-100% chance that Trump has had it confirmed he already had Coronavirus and that's why He's A Big Man And Not Wearing A Mask?  Also is there a non-100% chance that people who don't wear masks are the dumbest group of idiots who ever were un-smart all over the stupid place?  It's pretty sociopath, too!  I'd like to think they're just dumb but the truth is they're assholes to a greater extent BUT NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE THAT DISCUSSION.  I mean, you wanna define Deplorables?  It's a 1:1 overlap between Trump inspires deplorables and people who won't wear masks.  Also #DeplorableSummerToConsiderForAFewMonthsOrYearsBeyondTheSummer.  Something along those lines.  Right?  Cool.  We need to transition from pitying their stupidity to going on the offense and fighting their jerkitude.  Which is also the correct way to approach Considering Me: The Guy Whose Me, I get it, that's fine!
    What else is a thing.  Not Parkour Brothes.  But I am pretty impressed Microsoft FrontPage knew Parkour was a thing.  Kinda just assumed They Made That Up In 2005 Or Something.  Also that would be a fun video game.  A parkour game, sorta in the style of those Tony Hawk Skateboard games.  Were you get 2 minutes in an environment and have to do as much cool tricks to gain the most points as possible.  But instead of On A SkateBoard its Just Parkour.  Sounds like a fun game to me lets get on board with it but Not ON BOARD if you catch my meaning no skateboard involved its just you jumping up against walls and then landing on the floor.  Also there needs to be obstacles.  Not just an empty room  I feel very strongly about this.
What else is going on and crap.  Also if you die in the game YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE.  There's gotta be some stakes to this game, right?  Oh, right.  When Mom caves and demands 7x11 (77) get me some Beef Jerkey to fashion into a steak.  Anyway 2.5 more paragraphs to go and then its on to Finishing Captain Marvel and probably watching .5 or 1.0 of Avengers:End Game: No More Avengers After This One:The Rise of Captain America.  Also they call Captain America The First Avengers but Thor was around for thousands of years before him!  That's right Sounds Like A Plot Hole To Me!  Guy visiting the grand canyon LOOK AT THIS GIANT PLOT HOLE.  Which is accurate because how did they make it, what happened, how did this canyon appear.  Does anyone know how this happened?--Trump's thoughts while confronted with the majesty of the grand canyon.
That's a Trump I Wanna See. His level of intelligence, but with a childlike inquisitiveness and innocent-ish naivety that he possesses none of.  Such is life I guess.  Only 2 more paragraphs to go!  I don't wanna see That Trump.  It would complicate my negative feelings about him and who he is and what he does and how he acts and where he thinks and whom he...  Anyway what else is going on and crap.  Instead, in real life, if you asked Trump his thoughts on the grand canyon, he would say, Well it truly is grand, they say that, they came up with that name, I mean, you say Oh Its Grand, and isn't it, well, I've seen grander, but someone, they actually thought to use that word which was very, it's in America, and it's a good thing we have it...
More or less.  Wait a second That's More An Accurate Approximation Than I Am Comfortable With.  The good news is #MarvelSummerToRemember may be gone by tomorrow, but it segues cleanly into the #StarWarsSummerToForget!  Which will eventually turn into another hashtag to continue our Crappy Summer Together, we'll see.  Also there was a WCW  wrestler called Kanyon and his gimmick, as far as I remember, was having a beard.  His finishing move was something about how he grabs you by the legs and pulls you under him or something.  I don't have all the details!  Ugh.  Yup.  WCW Wrestler Kanyon.  Does appear to have a beard.  Yup this all checks out 100%!  I'll see you guys later.

-5:04 P.M.


Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Today Is July

    I'm starting to get the sense that these #MarvelSummerToRemember movies aren't that memorable.  Pretty adequate, all things considered.  Just like that PPV match between Mankind & The Rock which was called an, "I Quit!' Match" for some reason and not just a standard Match To End With Submission.  Exact same rules, but instead of, "Tapping out," the guy whose about to lose has to say the words I Quit!  And The Rock cheated by using audio of Mankind saying the words I Quit! at a previous event (presumably in the context of like THE ROCK IS GONNA HAVE TO SAY I QUIT AT THE END OF THE MATCH!) and The Rock used is AV skills to splice that into the Arena MainFrame and won the match.  Oh, right.  He Added I Quit.  I know you all know The Rock now but now you have some more context about the character of this man.  What kind of person does such a thing?!  He's never even offered atonement or regret.  This is a big stain on him as a person and I think we should Cancel him.
    Oh, right.  Marvel Summer To Remember movies are largely adequate.  And bordering on mediocre.  I saw Black Panther and that was an okay movie.  Probably the only movie that's like Hey this is a real movie and not just 3 action sequences that hurt my brain interspersed between 100 minutes of bland, boring exposition.  That's comics for ya!  The point is if I remember anything from #MarveLSummerToRemember its that these films aren't that memorable.  Save for Black Panther, Iron Man I and, lets say, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  They weren't Avengers.  as far as you know!  What else is going on and crap.  Anyway, for some reason I kinda imagined Wakanda being some sort of Liberia situation.  Where America kind of set up that country.  Turns out I Was WAY off.  Also I never thought that.  I just thought of The Liberia Situation and I was like I'ma show off some knowledge here get a loada this one.
Anyway Africa is great.  I read all about South Africa in Trevor Noah's Book: The Life And Times Of Trevor Noah and it seems like a, "Chill," place.  Sometimes.  In some respects.  The PEOPLE seem, "Chill."  Anyway remember when they released The Untouchables in India and they're like I Was Expecting Something Very Different!  It's relevant because there are Indians in South Africa.  Right?  That's what I've been led to believe.  Remember when MC Hammer was released in India and they were like I was Expecting Something VERY Different!  Remember when The Avengers were released in India and they were like finally a team of super friends to protect us from dumb things we're 100% behind the Avengers!  Also they do vvery little avenging.  10 years of Avengers and I would never describe their main verb-ing as Avenging.  Not even a secondary verb.  Who or what are they avenging? NO ONE THAT'S WHAT.
Oh, right.  MANKIND SHOULD HAVE WON THAT MATCH.  Also it was the kind of match where they left the ring for most of it.  I kinda remember one scene of the match taking place in The Kitchen.  I might be thinking of Jurassic Park.  Or... I wanna say there's a movie just called The Kitchen?  Wasn't that the Heist Movie with Melissa McCarthy last year?  Lemme look that up right quick. HEY IT WAS!  To be honest I was kind of banking on it not being that and it'd be humrous cause I'd be like oh that crazy brain of mine!  Turns out it's Just An Accurate.  Ugh.  Hows the Generic Congress Poll going.  They released another one where Dems are up 49-40!  Which is also EXACTLY what they're estimating OVERALL.  I don't believe it!  I take that to mean every single poll in the past is wiped clean and now we're just at that one 49-40 poll!  Fascinating.  Also are we on board with India having Untouchables?  I mean in theory we don't wanna get involved in other people's cultures with our own specific values, but also they treat these people like shit.  That's MY impression.  Also I have NO toughts on this I just thought it was a Liberia Situation where I can impress with my knowledge of the world!  Also why I made the MC Hammer joke.  Sure I know titles to raps!
What else is going on.  July.  I've got a good feeling about this July.  A good feeling it'll be CRAPPY. Gottem!  I'm still only 1/3rd into The Life And Times of George Carlin.  And about 1/2 through The Life And Times of Martin Short.  Luckily I'm almost 1/3rds into The Current Life And Times Of Me For Today Specifically.  Not that entertaining so far.  But sometimes that's just what the doctor ordered.  Bland repetitive dumb nonsense bullshit.  Do non-ever-wrestling fans know who Mankind/Mick Foley is?  He had some cross over success in late 90's, early 2000's as a writer of his Life and Loves and Well Mostly Just His Life.  And he's a good father and husband presumably so His Loves as Well.  Also he loves wrestling.  So that too.  Also he love getting chokeslammed, I hope so at least, it happened to him many times over the years. 
    Anyway, Mankind, he's the guy who's finishing move was he wore a sock on his hand and then put his hand in someone's mouth, presumably pinching them somewhere? and then eventually the guy taps out.  You know that ol' classic Wrestling Move dating back to the Greeks and Romans.  Gotta assume Greeks invented wrestling, right?  Well, you don't have to.  I'd strongly recommend it, though!  Maybe that's why homeless people's #1 request is Socks.  They wanna protect themselves.  Kinda an Aggressive move to make, The Mandible Claw.  The best defense is a good offense.  You go around sticking your hand in people's mouths, you're gonna get a rep, and no one's gonna mess with you!
    Something along those lines.  That would be a legit fun thing to do, cross over WWE with Marvel.  I'd fund such an excursion but I only have dozens of dollars but hey maybe that's all ya need to get the ball rolling.  #MarvelSummerSlamToRemember.  Also SummerSlam is the 2nd biggest WWE event of the year.  1st in Wrestlemania.  2nd is SummerSlam.  I dunno if they ever explicitly put that message out there but I sort of got the sense that was the case.  Also this is all specifically based on the years 1999-2001.  I can't speak beyond those years with any degree of certainty!  What else is going on and crap.  Oh, right.  Time to take a break!  I'll be back!  Sure all of this is stuff that I've said half a dozen times before.  Gotta Give The People What They Want especially when that overlaps with What They're Used To!  If I learned anything from #MarvelSummerToRemember, its that! 




Tomorrow Is July

    I've been under the impression I've been wearing Pajamas 1/2 the time over the last 3.5 months but I was having an Academic Conversation with my Mom last night and she was like ah you're wearing your Lounge Clothes.  And I as like nope pretty sure these are pajamas.  And she was like that's what I said LOUNGE CLOTHES.  Also my Pajama Bottoms and/or Lounge Clothes Bottoms have a huge hole in them!  And not 1 of the 2 holes intended for feet, or one big hole intended for waist!  We're talkin' a big rip!  Presumably torn because of my giant penis.  It's 3 feet long and VERY Pointy!
    Well that's great.
  Oh, right.  The point is she became aware of the hole a few weeks ago (Through Vision Powers) and she was like well no more of those gotta throw em out.  Which I'm not on board with they're comfortable and who cares the hole is only there if you're looking for it.  So I was like hmm better wear clothes for a week or two, let this whole situation cool over.  And then apparently she forgot because now she's back on board with my Lounge Garments.  Anyway made some Spaghetti w/ Meatballs last night for dinner.  Still have some left over for lunch Soon.  I like those odds!  3.5 #MarvelSummerToRemember movies left.  1.5 Avengers, 1 Antman, and 1 Captain Marvel.  How many captains does one franchise need c'mon let's talk about it.  Also good idea for a Comic-- The Untouchables, and its about the actual Indian/Hindu Untouchables Gruop but now they're Super Strong and Powerful and will they aid those Hindu people who made their lives Hell I DUNNO THAT'S FOR THE UNTOUCHABLES TO DECIDE!
I could be wrong, but I feel like there's 1 aspect to Comic Books/Movies where its like lets treat this seriously, look at characters, there's meaning and whatnot, and then there's the other aspect where its like Ok we set this one Super Hero with this set of skills against the other one Who Would Win In That Scenario Lets Just Decide That Battle Stuff.  So one is Character Based, the other one is Fight Logistics based.  And they are both Plot based but with different priorities for Plot.  And, anyway, I feel like these Marvel Movies are more the 2nd one.  Whereas I like the movies that are more like the 1st one!  Because I RELATE to Super Heroes and I don't wanna see OH BOY THOR'S HAMMER VS CAPTAIN AMERICA'S SHIELD THIS IS THE FOUR SECOND HIGHLIGHT OF THIS 300 MILLION MONSTROSITY!
I feel very strongly about this!  What kind of #???SummerToRemember will there be a few days from now.  Damnit I just realized what its supposed to be and I Don't Wanna Do It!  But I guess, I have to.... Star Wars.  Whatta snooze.  #StarWarsSummerToRemember, well, sure, I guess I'm pot committed To DisneyPlus Franchises at this point.  I dunno I'm gonna have to think about that one.  Anyway how are the Corona Virus Polls going.  Are people voting for it to end soon or for it to go on for years.  I dunno as of now I'm undecided.  I'd probably set the Over/Under for All-Out Quarantining, For Me In Queens NY And With Elderly/At Risk HouseMates, at New Years.  50% chance I'm taking walks and getting deliveries and maybe even seeing doctor appointments before then, 49.75% after then.  0.25% chance ON HAPPY NEW YEARS itself!  Sounds like a fun logical way to do things. 
    I honestly couldn't tell you whether I'd take the Over or the Under.  I'd probably take the Under just to double down on I Wanna Root For This To Happen.  That makes a lotta sense.  Anyway, what else is going on.  Talked about I Quit Matches, talked about my Pointy Penis, talked about presumptive #StarWarsSummerToRemember ... I kinda like that now that I think about it.  Actually watching Star Wars, I dunno, its kinda growing on me.  But also just committing to #StarWarsSummerToRemember as a Thing, I like it!  Trying to think of other Franchises to do, the first thing that came to mind was #SpikeLeeJointsToRemember.  I understand Spike Lee Joints don't exist in the same world as far as I know.  But I figure an artists ouvre can still be the basis of a #SummerToRemember.  If only I cuold easily see all Spike Lee Joints.  If I could easily Just See Any Movie I Want Ever, then I could do Director's Joints all the time.  Life isn't that easy, though.
Oh well such is life.  I was thinking about it recently and I wonder if Spike Lee just used to roll joints and was like to his friends This is a Spike Lee joint and they were like dude you gotta use that as the Frame Title Card before your movies and he was like yeah I know I was thinking the same thing! and then they clink their beer bottles and take a swig.  Wait they were smoking weed not drinking beer.  Maybe they were doing both, I dunno.  Sometimes I think about The Future where you can just get packs of marijuana cigarettes the same way you get packs of tobacco cigarettes and people just chain smoke Healthy Safe Marijuana All Day.  Seems like one way to go, right?  Anyway, I'll be back.



It's Always July

    I had some sort of 1/2 Nightmare/1/2 Cool Dream with Me & Weird Al Yankovic last night.  Don't remembe the specifics.  But I remember Weird Al, I remember parts of it being scary, but also parts of it were like I Don't Remember WHY But This Is PRETTY COOL!  Weird Al Yankovid-19.  That settles that!  Anyway.  For some reason I'm not 100% sure of, the first Spike Lee Joint I remember seeing was Bamboozled.  Both in terms of I Think It's The First One I've Seen Overall and also The First One I Saw Several Times, Enough To Really Absorb.  Anyway that's a pretty dark film.  It's a comedy!  But kinda dark for a 10 year old or whatever I saw.   Was released in 2000.  That means by the time I saw it I had to be AT LEAST 12.  Well, great, just great.  Having lunch now.  You know how that goes.
Cool!  #StarWarsSummerToRemember, presumably the way to watch it is in Within-Story-Chronological-Order and not When-Films-Were-Released-Chronological-Order, right?  I figure if I did a, "Poll," the Within-Story-Order would come out with like 67%!  And why bother doing polls when I can just Use My Imagination to Imagine Some Sort Of Result.  Makes the polls kind of unnecessary and redundant when I can just Guess Myself!  Maybe the reason I saw Bamboozled was because I was familiar with Damon Wayans, so Damon Wayans + Comedy, I and/or my Guardians thought it would be different!  Anyway,  #StarWarsSummerToRemember has gotta be a snooze because all the characters that exist for the first 2/3rds of it I know Are Gonna Die Eventually.  Why bother getting invested in 90% of these people when I know They Inevitably Die?  Makes the whole thing moot.  Redudant!  Unncessary, even!
    Cool.  Now that I've seen a bit about what Captain Black Panther is about, I'm on board with him maybe killing Thanos.  Sends a positive, pro-Wakandan message!  Also is it possible there is a Wakanda and they're REALLY just hiding in plain sight even with these huge movies about it?  It'd be the perfect scam!  Why is it a scam.  Ya know because they're not sharing the Vibranium or whatever.  Dunno what they'd gain from there being billion dollar movies about them, though.  Seems like needless risk to their sovereignty and anonymity.  I'm not gonna argue though, they've got the Vibraninum, they must know what they're doing!  At first I thought I wouldn't be on board with the premise of a King/SuperHero, but Black Panther makes it work!  What's his real name.  Some sort of name I'm not used to.  There's at least one, "'," in the middle somewhere.  Hmm LMLTURQSIDF, T'CHalla.  Well that's easy to remember. T Holla Back.  T Challah Bread.  Those two ways.
  Addendum to the classic LMLTURQ that we've all grown to love.  Hey you know who my favorite Black Panther is Of All Time is T'Challa.  Only one I know but I wanted to show off my knowledge!  Wait a second, I'm confused.  Spike lee. Stan Lee... Hmm.  I wasn't as confused as I thought.  Those two people in fact co-exist, alive and/or dead, and are Potential meta-collaborators for cr*zysheet's #***SummerToRemember.  Jason Lee.  Haven't heard from him in a long time.  Maybe not since His Name Was Earl.  Anyway roughly one paragraph to go, I can get on board with that!
    Wonderful.  Earl Lee.  Early.  Was that ever an inside-joke on NBC in the mid to late 2000's?  My guess is I don't believe there were Inside OR Outside Jokes in regards to My Name Is Earl.  Gottem!  Anyway, entry closin' up, whatta world.  Did Spike Lee ever Direct a SummerSlam?  My guess is no that's nonsense of course not.  But then again, might be a good idea.  Some good cross-over potential for their brands and audiences and creative input and output.  I'd watch a Spike Lee SummerSlam Joint!  Ugh.  I dunno.  I'll see you guys later.

-4:38 P.M.

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