July 31, 2020
I can't Think!
good advice! Shutting Up So I Can Think is both practical and productive!
It Benefits both You and I. And other people As A Third Thing.
Anyway, what's going on in the wide world of sports. Lotta disease and
pestilence. I wonder what pestilence means. I feel like I Used
To Know What It Means but now I Forget and just remember the context its used
in. Is that like when Bugs eat all your crops. That could be it.
LMLTURQ... A Fatal Epidemic Disease. Oh Right So What's Going On Right
Now Is Pestilence. Glad we got that covered what else is going on.
I still like Pestilence meaning when Pests (insects, etc.) are eating all our
crops. I feel like that was one of the Ten Plagues on Egypt and
actually did always thought it meant Your Crops Goin' To Crap on account of
bugs. Oh well. The moral of the story is I Like It When I Thought
Wrong Things Because I'm A Sentimental Guy.
Surely God can think of a more Practical and Productive
way to assume form on Earth than a Burning Bush. 1) can't be around very
long, eventually the bush is gonna burn completely. 2) Why 3) What kinda
message you sendin' 4) Why Anything 5) I'M NOT BUYING IT! Now that I think
about it, for some reason, I always identified with Moses a bit more than other
Bible Protagonists. Maybe because of Popular Culture what with Movies and
Cartoons and Popular Songs. Or maybe I'm just a guy whose got Moses-esque
qualities. On the other hand, though 5) I'M NOT BUYING IT!
Anyway gonna start Beer in a minute. Gotta do something. Well if
Pestilence isn't Bugs wasn't there one that was just CICADAS or something.
Hornets. LOCUSTS there we go. I dunno. Cicadas makes a lot
more sense to me! Maybe it was Crickets. I sometimes confuse
Cicadas with Crickets. In Real Life. Now You Know.
They both make distinctive sounds, right? And
Cricket is an onomatopoeia? Well it almost is. CRACKED THAT CODE!
What was the point of the Frogs Pestilence. Oh gross all these
frogs. Yuck, kinda inconvenient, too. Just trying to go about my
business but THERE'S TOO MANY FROGS AROUND. Kinda redundant with the
locusts. Pick one! They'll eat your crops and be gross and
inconveniencing. You don't need TWO. I think it's a good thing that
Pharaoh had enough After All First Born Males Dying. Cause after that,
where can Moses go? Pharaoh is like ok lost first born males STILL
SKEPTICAL OF LETTING YOUR PEOPLE GO. And Moses is like well crap I'm
kinda out of ideas, now. Dunno how I can escalate from Killing First Born
Males... Hmm.. God, any ideas? He'd have to go back DOWN to
DE-ESCALATING. Maybe make some compromise with Pharaoh it's time to go
back to the table!
Whatever. Are Adult First Born Males also on the
Chopping Block (Learnt that phrase from The Food Network). Anyway after
that plague Egypt's gender balance for Upcoming Generation must be way out of
whack! It's gotta belike Two Females for every One Male. In
which case HIGH FIVE MALE ANCIENT EGYPT KIDS YOU'VE GOT IT MADE IN THE DATING
WORLD. Now You Hold All The Cards! Was Moses the first
Super Hero Vigilante. I think if you take that story out of Judeo
Christian Muslimic Bible and put it into DC Comics it fits pretty well.
Well you could say that about most Bible Tales. Yeah But I Don't WANT
TO. It muddies up the riff I'm trying to do, lets just ignore Facts about
who or what is comic books.
Wow. Anyway. I like Communal Dinners
because it's High Quality Food and it's fun to Be Family, but I don't like it
because Gotta Eat It At Specific Time. I wanna have a late lunch?
Can't! I know I'd just have to Eat Again Soon anyway! I probably
talk about that once a week because It Comes Up Once A Week. Just like
Sunday. Hmm. Any other day, too. I was just thinking about
Suns and how they rise and set. Sunday. MOON DAY.
Cracked that code. TWO-SDAY (second week day). WEDNES... well
that's clearly nonsense gibberish . Wednes. Means NOTHING. Maybe
it's Wedding Day. Weddings are important to Modern Humans because they
give the go-ahead to mating. Thursday... HHER'sday. The point
is we can go on and on with this and never stop. Well, we can do Two
More and then stop completely. Only a finite amount of Days Of Teh Week.
But I Want To Stop Now!
riffed on Days Of The Week before? Yes! Have I riffed on
Bible=Comics before? You bet! Is it different this time
around because It Is Today And Not A few Months Ago? Let's Hope So!
ANyway got some Good Lunch Going. We're talkin' SAVORY (Hearty) Beef
Barley Soup and Some Roast beef sandwich on a hot dog bun. For some reason
that's something I'm trying out. Got a pack of Hot Dog buns from
Supermarket and I'm like I'll just make sandwiches on a hot dog bun!
I think I was inspired By Eating Hot Dogs. And then thinking well
obviously hot dog buns are more appropriate for this than White Bread.
And then I just sorta took the next step, unconsciously, to well ALL
sandwiches are more appropriate for Hot Dog Buns Now! And ya know
what? SO FAR SO GOOD. Led Zeppelin has a song called Hot Dog.
Which I took to mean as Like, "Showing Off," o something. To be a
Hot Dog is to Show Off Your Stuff!
I feel 80% chance that's an accurate definition, 20% chance I
made it up in my mind somehow for some reason. LMLTURQ...wait
a second i don't need to look that up.
I feel like I've
definitely seen that in movies. Very Likely ARMAGEDDON. Where Bruce
Willis is like to Ben Affleck, NO WE're DRILLERS BUT YOU'RE DRILLING TOO HARD
AND FAST STOP HOT DOGGIN' IT YOU'RE GETTING TOO BIG FOR YOUR BRITCHES YOU'LL
DOOM US ALL! So that settles that. 2nd most likely case is I Saw
It In A Football Movie. And Coach is like To Player, NO TIME FOR YOUR
HOT DOGGIN' RUN THE PLAYS LIKE I SAID ALRIGHT BREAK. Also now
the Team Manager says OK BREAK. He saw the Quarterback do it Time
And Time Again and was like THIS TIME I WANNA DO IT. OK BREAK.
ALSO REMEMBER NO HOT DOGGIN'.
Fascinating. Looks like hopefully we get air
conditioning fixed tomorrow. Anyway. I was watching The Conjuring
Franchise: The Two Conjuring Movies the last two nights, and the Conjuring II:
This Time ARound scared me legit last night! I think I went to bed with
the lights on! Then I woke up with them off. Which to me either
means I woke up at some point and turned the lights off AND/OR Ghost turned
lights off. In which case thanks for not waking me up and scary
You're A Good GHost As Far As Ghosts Go. Anyway, it reminded me, as a
kid, I was scared of ghosts ALL THE TIME. I feel like probably 50% AT
LEAST of the time I was going to sleep I was scared for some reason or the
other. Ghost on the other side of the bed. Ghost on the ceiling.
Ghosts in my closet. And this lasted Until/Through HIGH SCHOOL.
In high school, I always thought I got too little sleep
because I was up all night either doing school work or putting off doing school
work. But there's also, even up to that age, a part where it's likei II'm
too scared to fall asleep! 1) THATS WHEN THEY GETCHA! 2) too
much adrenaline to fall asleep. I'm also not on board with empty
chairs in my room. Current room or Past Child Room. If there
was a ghost THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE THEY WOULD BE SITTING. Anyway, I
dunno. There's one more Conjuring Franchise Movie I can see on HBOMAX
that's a different Line Of narrative so I'll check that out. The good news
s roast beef hot dog was Good, Soup was Good, and I got a nice Good dinner
coming up in 3, 3.5 hours!i Fascinating! The point is if you're
scared of ghosts all the time at what point Are You Really Haunted? I
might have never SEEN or EXPERIENCED a ghost but just being scared of it,
doesn't that mean something was there?
OH NO RUN AWAY GHASTS! The good news is I have orange
soda which I haven't had for a few weeks! Really reminds me of how Orange
tastes. Anyway tomorrow is a new month. Not in and of itself.
Tomorrow marks the beginning ofa new month. Then the new month continues
for another 29-30 days I don't have all the numbers unless I do Children's Rhyme
In My Head. Let's see, twenty one days has November........ THIRTY ONE!
I think I always just took it for granted that oh yeah All Kids are scared of
ghosts every night when they go to sleep. Natural State for kids! To
Be Scared! Now I know the folly of my thinking. A little bit
too late. Anyway I'll be back in a while.
Make Me Come Back There
point is Horror Movies are all well and good but I think we shuld mostly agree
that Laughter Movies are better. Except for when Horror Movies are funny.
Or when Laughter Movies are scary. And then there are Dramatic Movies.
Whoever heard of Dramatic, it means nothing, nobody knows what it means.
Air conditioning might be getting fixed today. I like the idea of that
because I'm sweating something awful! Was there a news story in the last few
days where it was something about Nike shoes and something about Reebok shoes?
Or was it in a movie I saw in the last few days? Or did I just dream
something about shoes. Hmm. Really makes ya think.
ANNABELLE COMES HOME? I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT!
Aren't there more important things to be scared of.
Yeah like Poltergeists? No Important Things.
Ahh like Amityville Horrors!. No, more like real w-- yes THE
EXORCIST IS HORRIFYING I SEE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT. Ugh.
Just imagine a Burning Bush going PSST MOSES OVER HERE. C'mon.
It's Me God. Lemme get up with you for a quick sec. Man I don't
remember Ornage Suda being this Citrusy! True story! I think
it's very clever (and DANGEROUS) that a lot of Top Horror Films are based on,
"True' Stories." Don't you know by Telling True Stories you activate
the Poltergeists ALL ACROSS THE LAND. Of course they know!
That's why they're doing it! They don't care how many people get haunted
by ghosts along the way as long as their Box Office is high! TOTALLY
IRRESPONSIBLE. For shame. Blum House. DON'T THEY KNOW
THAT'S THE SECOND HALF OF MY NAME. MILLHOUSE?
Really makes ya think. The point is if I was born
12 years later sure I'd be on board with having inside joke with friends where
I'm Blumhouse and its insinuated that I assume a Millhouse-type-character
While Being Blumhouse. SURE LOTS OF THINGS 12 YEARS LATER.
Children of the Corn-- Blum House. Finally all the pieces are starting
to come together! By which I mean I am An Amityville Poltergeist.
Now where's that Exorcism I ordered. Also can't get Exorcisms during
Covid! Not safe! They've got us Coming and Going!
Yeesh. Remember in the future when Joe Biden was president. How
did we get there. Specifically the 95 days leading up to his election.
How did those go again? I Forgot!
Penultimate Paragraph! Of the entry.
You get it! I'm pretty sure if we all just collectively, obsessively,
refresh Polls 60 times a day, that'll do the trick and get him elected.
Gotta be laser-focused! On reading polls! The same ones! Over
and Over Again! That's One Way To Go! Anyway came up with a real
great nickname for Trump to use on Biden-- Bazooka Joe. Also is it
just me or is Trump not using Nicknames as much. I think that's a big
whiff. Nicknames are his strength he's really gotta Lean Into Giving
People Nicknames. Bazooka Joe, it reminds us of gum, nobody
likes gum, that's why Bazooka Joe is out of business, #PutBazookaJoeOutOfBusiness.
Just around Ninety Five Days Or So To Go. The good news is I have
TWO kinds of Hot Dog. I got three of the Regular 150 cal Hot Dogs.
And I got six of the 45 calorie Sawdust Dogs. It was a mistake re-upping
with Sawdust Dogs but oh well! Was there a war when Bazookas were the main
weapon. I feel like it plays a key part in In The Army Now.
But that wasn't a real war. As far as WE Know.........
Last paragraph! The world is a scary place. I
just always kind of thought children were just particularly attuned to that
fact. Air Conditioning Repair Men are here. Outside the house.
Best case-- they can repair without coming into the house. Medium case--
they can repair with coming into the house. Bad case-- they can't repair.
Worst case-- they can't repair WHILE Coming Into The House. Blum House.
Amityville Children of the Corn Blum House. Amityville is only half an
hour away from where I live. Plus there were all those winters I
overlooked at The Shining As A Child. Ugh. Anyway time to close this
entry up. Right now about 1/2 way through 3 beers. So I got that to
look forward to is the point. Beer is good for you VS ghosts. That's
why Overlooker in The Shining is always alcoholic. They know its their
best defense. Ugh. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Maybe I
won't be so afraid.
July 30, 2020
Good News! No there isn't. That sounds accurate now that I
think about it. Had the, "W," in, "Whey," already there and I typed
out, "HEY Good News!" I think WHEY is more clever and more accurate.
WHey is like Porridge, right? I learned about it in Grimm's Fairy Tales or
Aesop's Fables or Man's In General' Foibles. I don't have all the deatils.
I saw on Twitter Trump wanted/had a Football team named The New Jersey
Generals back in the 80's. And wanted to be in the NFL or something
presumably? Now we know why he's always Generals. Always General
This, General that. All the Generals like me, this. I will
try to cancel the General Election, that. I could look ingo
TrumpFootballGate but I'd be happier just forgetting about Trump altogether.
Anyway I did some, "Research," and there's not much of a story with this
Football Gate. Anyway. Maybe Trump would be more suited to being
a Sports Franchise Owner. All he cares about is Winning. Might as
well do some winning Where It Doesn't Count At All. And also in a
position where Other People Can Do His Winning For Him. He's not too great
at winning on his own.
PORRIDGE good news! Also I've never had porridge
and I think it would be gross but I Kinda Wanna Try Porridge? Three Bears
+ One Little Girl can't be wrong! Also what kind of family sets out a meal
and then leaves the house. And Also what kind of people cook a meal that
is somehow at 3 different temperatures per bowl. The cold portion,
obviously you took that out first. Then the medium portion a little bit
later. Then the Hot portion you just
took out. And then you all Immediately Leave The House! And
there happened to be a girl walking by The Bears' House and is like Hmm
wonder whats going on in there. Why there are anthropomorphic bears in
the first place I dunno! Why there is an Anthropomorphic Little Girl I
Jeez. Point is Got Some Coffee Going, gonna start
some Beer Goin' right about now. Got tons of great meals for the next
week. It's a real embarrassment of riches. Gonna start Coffee #2.
Or is it #3. I feel like it's #3. The first cup was too hot.
Second cup was too cold. Which logically leads us to assuming the third
cup will be... well, even colder. That's how thermodynamics work.
Duh. Anyway Fridge & Freezer Temperatures, speaking of THERMOSDYNAMICS,
way up compared to where they should be! Standard is apparently 0 Degree
for freezer, 38 degree for Fridge (Fahrenheit). Now? We're up to
SIXTEEN DEGREE FOR FREEZER and FORTY SIX DEGREE FOR FRIDGERATOR. This
happens every time we got a big order. Then after half a day it starts
going back down. But each time its always like OH NO SOMETHING TERRIBLE
My Dad is always like YOU GOT TOO MUCH its because its
packed full it can't be as cold. And I'm like MAYBE WE GOT TOO
LITTLE EVER THINK OF THAT? If only there was a little girl in the
family who could advise us how to order Just The Right Amount Of Groceries.
But whom then doesn't get enough for herself. Then she eats all OUR
groceries. Then we maul her to death Because We Are Bears.
Anyway is that a way to conceptualize Pandemic Quarantine? We're all
Hibernating? That's a good, "Positive spin," on it! How long
bears hibernate. About 5 months. That means if I'm dunzo in
about a few weeks (which I won't be!) RIGHT ON TIME. Also yeah
bears hibernating but own a house, always leave porridge out while 1/2 year
sleep, yada yada yada you get it.
Cool! Jim Nabors is WHEY Cool! Figured out
another facet to this homonym Simpsons writers! Anyway, I dunno.
BBQ Salmon + Rice, "Spanish Rice," for lunch. Anyway, Delivery Person who
Brought Groceries To My Front Door wasn't wearing a mask! Whatta chump!
I Socially Distanced though I ain't comin' within six feet of no Non-Mask-Wearin'
Chumps! Also I REALLY DIG wearing a mask in public. I think I've
joked about it before, but its true, I could be making any kind of silly face I
want and The General Public Has No Idea. I keep getting spam from some
Democratic-Aligned Fundraising thing and I've gotten half a dozen, at least,
e-mails where the subject line is something like Yes, Yes, It's Really Me,
James Carville!... which is funny because 1)James Carville is totally
irrelevant 2)...well, I guess it's just the, "1." But its funny
because he's like YES THIS IS THE REAL JAMES CARVILLE! I get he was
The Political Strategist Dude 30 years ago. But a lot has changed in 30
years! For example Now Its Roughly Two And Half Generations Later!
Anyway we wish James Carville the best of luck. I'm
sure it's a worthy cause he's asking for donations for. I just think
Tripling Down on James Carville As Your Pitch isn't gonna really play very well.
Carville, huh? You mean like a parking garage? JOB
PLEASE. Anyway. PSA Ad Campaign with Jim Carrey 30 Years Later with
green make up on going SOMEBODY STOP ME! (...from NOT wearing a mask.
Wait, no. Stop me from NOT NOT wearing a mask. The point is I
Wanna Do The Right Thing Here so No One Should Be Stopping Me From Doing The
Right Thing! Which Is Wearing A Mask The Point is Remember That Time
when I was looking at Cameron Diaz and my eyes popped way out of my skull and my
tongue stretched out 4 feet? Because of her beauty?)
Know What I Mean
point is if Jim Carrey is relevant 30 years later why Not James Carville.
I dunno Lots Of Reasons. Touché! I think the main two morals of
Fairy Tales is 1) Watch Out For Bears 2) Don't Trust Wolves. Watch
out for Bears I get But where there a spat of
Wolves-impersonating-Grandmothers going on at the time? I'm not 100% on
the moral of that story. Don't trust wolves, could be impersonating
people... don't trust grandmas, could be a wolf... don't go to grandma's house
at all only bad can come of it... Probably the third one.
Abandon your elderly family members They May Be Metaphorical Wolves In
Grandmother's Clothing. Sounds about right from MY perspective.
What else is going on and crap. I think it's a bad sign where our most
inspirited and enlightened monologue-type-discourse arrives During Funerals.
We saw it with Jonathon McCain. We saw it with Jonathon Lewis. We
saw it with Jonathon the kid I knew when I was in elementary school.
He's Dead Now For Some Reason. Anyway, I dunno, what else is going on
I dunno. You don't have to tell me not to trust wolves.
I wasn't planning on it! But then again I've been Raised from Inception
on these tales telling me Don't Trust Wolves. If not for Fairy Tales,
I dunno, Maybe I'd Be Trusting Wolves all day! Anyway it turns out
James Carville was the one who hacked into my phone. Oh well what
can ya do. Maybe delete that, "Riff." You know-- those two short
sentences? In which the only think resembling a joke was the reaction of--
"Yeah that didn't happen." Oh well such is life and whatnot. One
can only hope that when they read out John Lewis' will on live TV (I assume?) I
am awarded his Baseketball Franchise for one year and if I do not win the
Baseketball Championship it team is awarded back to someone else. That
corporate guy whose up to no good. He's next in line is the point.
What else is going on and crap. Also I realize
Timberwolves are a thing but wouldn't Timber Beavers make more sense? They
actually cause Timbering. Wolves got no business with trees at all! Not
as far as I know at least. Watched, "Go Ahead And Do The Right Think
Won't You?" yesterday and it's a real good BLM matters movie. Hmm BLM
Matters. Is that the next level down from Black Lives Matter? Black
Lives Matter Matters? It's true Black Lives Matter Does Matter But
Also Just In General Black Lives Matter. Just Like Being AntiFa May Be
Part of AntiFa But Also Is Just Anti Fa. Well cracked that code.
Anyway. I dunno! Looks like some ROAST
Some sort of Potato Spheres along with
it. Awesome! The bad news is For Some Reason SUpermarket Gave Me A
Pound Of Bologna. I asked for Zero Pounds of Bologna! Not explicitly
but implicitly. I assumed when I asked for no bologna I'd get no bologna
and they wouldn't just assume, well clearly the default is One Pound Of
Bologna He Must Have Just Forgot To Specify. Maybe It Means something.
This guy is full of bologna. Nope! Means nothing! Just
means Supermarket Is Dumb and gave us a lot of free Baloney. I spelled
it differently The Last Time! The thing about bologna is I Like It the
odd time I have it but I'm pretty sure it's unhealthy as Fruck. Oh well
what can I do. If you get food you have to eat it! Otherwise
you're some sort of Jerk.
Cool. Figure I'll take a break after this paragraph,
come back in a little bit with lunch. I figure lots of things.
Probably 10, 12 things At Once. Well I dunno about that that's a lot to
figure at once. How about 6, 8. Now we're talkin'.
Maybe get back into some DVDs later today after entry is done. Maybe Lots
Of Things! ANTIFA? I DUNNO. YOU CAN'T JUDGE A MOVEMENT BY
ITS TITLE. Somethin about BMs. Uh oh you add an, "L," to,
"BMs," now we got, "BLMs." Brown Leavings, "Matters," Sorry
about that. The point is Being A BLM and Being A ANTI-FASCISM are both
great. Well BLM is all well and good but BEING a BLM? THAT SOUNDS TOO
REACTIONARY AND EXTREME TO ME. Just like being ANTI FA. I AM ANTI FA
BUT I WILL NOT BE AN ANTIFA THAT'S A BRIDGE TOO FAR. Until
you realize That Those Being Those Things often have the same views as you but
are just a little bit more enthusiastic. Again, should not be a
contentious political point. We are Pro-Black-Lives-Mattering and we are
Con-Fascism-Existing [and, even worse, thriving/increasing].
what do you describe as fascism. I dunno! What do you describe
as fascism? Also, what do you define as Mattering when it comes to
black lives? You're not asking that for the moment, even though that's
gotta be a spectrum, too! Maybe you think there's not as much mattering
for black lives as should be but you're still getting on the right side of the
issue! So get on the oh right fascism no es bueno side of the
issue, too! The point is I Have Lunch Now! And I will have Beer #3
or 3 when entry is over. Gives me something to look forward to! I
dunno where I define Fascism. Probably a looser definition than some and a
tighter definition than others! I've narrowed it down to those two things!
Great, just great. Dinner is in about 3.5 hours.
I got that to look forward to, as well! Plus an entire 4 or 5 days of
drinking a moderate amount! The Fun Never Stops On The Crazysheet Empire!
My favorite thing is when Rice Clumps and you get a forkful of a nice big clump
because its solid together it can't break and then you get a nice bite and chew
out of that enterprise. Anyway my parents were food shaming me a few weeks
ago because I was eating something with my fingers. I was just reminded of
it because I was just eating some rice with my fingers. If yuo know a
better way to eat non-clumped-up rice when it's down to the dregs, I'd like to
hear it! The good/bad news is I only have 2 Salmon Filets and 1/2 rice
left after eating the same thing Just Now. It's good news because I want
another meal but its bad news because I can't have anymore meals after that.
Actually its good/good news. I dunno if I want more Meals after that of
the same kind.
Three paragraphs to go! Are people still wiping
down with disinfecting wipe and then regular wipe Their Groceries? Or am
I, "Behind The Times," and still going through the motions that have long since
been abandoned by the rest of polite society. Also got some Diet Dr.
Pepper going. It's fun because it's Flavorful! Dr. Pepper would be
proud knowing his namesake is going on to entertain and amuse GENERATIONS of
soft drink consumers! Also what's gonna stop anyone from Barry Pepper's
family On His Father's Side becoming a doctor? Nothing, that's what!
Gotta be at least ONE of Barry Pepper's immediate family members who are
doctors! Doctors are that common! I can only assume Mr. Pepper's
real name was Barack Pepper. Hmm. Really Makes Ya Think!
Are there kids named Barack now? Gotta be,
right? Maybe I'm A Jerk White Guy, but seeing a whole generation of
(presumably mostly black) kids named Barack is Gonna Take Some Getting Used To!
I'm ON BOARD with it. 100%! I just need to GET USED to it, that's the
thing. That tickles me so much I gotta google it and see if it is
indeed a thing. Hmm NOT A THING. Only a dozen or two each
year during and after his presidency. Gotta be kind of a let down for
Barack Obama, right? Kinda embarrassing that amount!
Certainly Not looking forward to an influx of, "Donalds," though. I'm sure
they'll get what's coming to them, though. With a name like, "Donald."
The bully will be come the Bull...e... the point is Polite Society will look
down upon Generation Beta Donalds. Don't blame polite society,
blame the parents!
Cool! Anyway entry is almost over. Another
day in the books. And another Anticipation Of Future Day Which Will Also
Include Alcohol! Wonderful! So what have we accomplished
today. Well it's been about 2 and a half hours since I Started Entry.
That's Pretty Good! Talked about thermodynamics, that's educational.
I Learned how to spell/pronounce-exactly anthropomorphic. See
did it on my first try. Well You Can't See It but just take me word for it I
Know This Word Hard Core Now! Bears hibernate for 5 months. Make
sure for sure to not trust wolves. Ugh. Anyway I'll see you
July 29, 2020
lots more old titles exist. I just will not be using them in the
immediate future! Anyway the point is Another Day Exists Now. If we
agree that Future Doesn't Exist Yet (WHICH WE DO NOT AGREE) today is pretty
important because Now There's An ENTIRE DAY that exists compared to 24 hours
ago. That's pretty impressive Of Universe! Anyway Man Oh Man am I
running out of meals. But then I saw a Simpsons where a Plot Point was
Homer Had To Eat Home Cooked Hot Dogs and I was like OH MY I have home cooked
hot dogs! I mean, Home Hot Dogs Ready To Be Cooked! So basically
I Now Have An Entire Meal because of Simpsons.
Plot Hole in that episode of Simpsons (Millhouse's Parents
get divorced) is that Kirk (The Father Of Millhouse) points out that Lu-ann
(Mother Of Millhouse) has no eye brows, but throughout the episode (and the
series, at that) she's CONSTANTLY making her expression known through her eye
brows. I feel like Fake Eye Brows shouldn't be so mobile and illustrative
of Feelings. I dunno now that I think about it. I mean, what
are the muscles above your eyes called. The muscles behind your eye brows.
There's Muscles At Work! Maybe if you put some Fake Hair on top of the
muscles you can sort of convey emotions with Fake Eye Brows. I've
given myself a lot to think about.
Cool! Got a 25 Ozer of Beer for today. Then
Re-upping with Super Market for more beer tomorrow! Got New Phone Charger
Of My Very Own and it works! It's liek Christmas! No more having to
go through my Dad every time I wanna charge my phone. I can charge phone
at my leisure! Gotta be careful with it, though. I think the
reason I keep Breaking Wire is because when its plugged in, and I wanna unplug
it, I just sorta YANK the entire phone. You'd think no Human would be so
stupid to keep doing that regularly and not expect any consequences, but you'd
think wrong apparently! Unless I'm not human. Pretty sure I'm Human.
All signs seem to signal I am Human. Anyway looks like Fascism has made a
nice key progression in NYC with protesters being kidnapped into Unmarked Vans!
NYSTRONG! By which I mean congrats to Cecily Strong on her Emmy
Nomination As Per Twitter Informed Me. Are Emmys short for
Emeralds. Seems like an Emerald is a nice Award Prize. An Emmy
sounds weird but earning some Emeralds through Excelling At Television, now
we're talkin! The point is SNL wouldn't let fascism in NYC exist They'd
Do Something About It!
Huh. Not sure. SOMEONE's gotta do something about
it about fascism exponentially encroaching on our government and/or society.
I've narrowed it down to Not Me, and now also Not SNL. Maybe You
should do something about it! Like I said SOMEONE's gotta! That'd
be my impression. Anyway Lunch'll be 3 Hot Dogs Spread Out Across 2
Pieces Of Bread. That's 2/3rds a Slice for Each Hot Dog. I crunched
the numbers and This Is The Way To Go. Dinner? I dunno! Maybe
enough turkey to have a sandwich. Maybe enough Bagel to have a Bagel.
I can make eggs again like I did last night! Lots of good Meal Options.
That's How I Feel today for some reason. I can't stop Fascism, but I
CAN enjoy 2.5 meals a day. More or less. Can't enjoy them
that much knowing about all the fascism outside. But I can enjoy
2/3rds of the 2.5 meals even with.. uh... hey lets start the next paragraph.
Cool! Surely SOMEONE can stop fascism.
Anti Fascists? I dunno I've been hearing bad things about them.
And in all honesty, I don't associate with Anti-Fascism Explicitly. Only
implicitly! Maybe I should start associating with Anti-Fascism Explicitly,
though! Probably right about the right time to start doing that.
Anyway I feel bad for Kirk Van Houten. But what can I do
about it? Continue watching Simpsons and hope one day Kirk Van Houten
Really Gets His Life Going In A Positive Direction. I guess we can just
wait until Election to get rid of fascists. If there's one thing I know
about Fascism is that its very prone to lose its power based on the presumed
results of vaguely semi-Democratic elections. So we got that to look
forward to! I'll be back in a bit.
Right Lets Have Fun
Antifas have spare time to enjoy! Fighting Fascism isn't as much of a full
time job as you might expect! Actually lets mix it up. I am
an HaveLeisureTimeToEnjoyMan and in my SPARE time I'm Antifa! Also I am
PRO an F-A chord progression. True story! I OFTEN think Hmm F-A
(or congruent progression with different notes) I like this more than most
people might! It's a 100% accurate my feelings! Sometimes
FMajor Amajor, but also an Fmajor Aminor is not without its charms!
Anyway last two nights Slept without any Blanketet because Too Hot!
Although I'm sure I've done that a lot Here In This CrapShack, it reminded me of
Dorming at NYU because there's no air conditioning there ever. At least
not Freshman Dorm. And I would lay in the heat oh boy would I.
Anyway I started Off College on the wrong foot. I
started off LIFE and EVERYTHING on All Sorts Of Wrong Feet. But anyway
there was an Overnight Orientation Day the Summer Before and I had suitemates
who clearly had alcohol and were having fun In The Next Room and I was just
lying in bed thinking man oh man I wish there was a way I could
participate in this! I know it won't happen but Man If Someone Would Jus
Explicitly Invite Me To Participate... I think Which pretty much was
how I felt for most of college. Most of Life. That's just my base.
I think that's a good descriptor of where I fall on the introvert/extrovert
scale. I'm a Very, Very Lazy and Very, Very Bad Extrovert. I dunno.
What else is going on and crap. I talked to My Father and he was like I
guess there's enough turkey for a sandwich for you tonight. And I was
like Thank You Father. True story!
Cool. Started #HarryPotterSummerToRemember.
I think these actors and the characters they played were literally about One
Year Younger than me, but when the films were coming out, I was like jeez
these kids! Is this what kids are into? These kid actors lol what do
they know. The younger you are, the more significant relatively tiny
differences in age are. And now that I'm watching it now I realize oh
this is my generation almost To A T. Oh well such is life and whatnot.
Well, For The Actors. Maybe the target audience skews a few years younger
throughout the franchise! I don't have all the answers! I only have
roughly 80% of the answers! 15% if its just #HarryPotterSummerToRemember
Cool. Maybe have Hot Dog Dinner and Turkey Sandwich
Lunch. I don't have all the answe... oh right I already clarified that.
80% of answers. 15% if its just Harry Potter. The point is based
on protests I think a lot more white people are on board with BLM than they were
before. I think its about time we spread that from being Pro-BLM to being
Pro-Anti-Fa. wait a second Pro-anti Fa. So they're jus Fa.
I dunno that Word Math DOES NOT Add Up. A Positive Times A
Negative is Still A Negative. So YES if we are Pro-Anti Fa We Are Still
Anti-Fa. Anyway Yeah Been Drinking Some beer starting with this Section Of
Entry. It's fun!
Anyway. I was surprised yesterday when the Gas Station
Store which was the 1st place I went to for Cigarettes and alcohol Didn't Sell
Beer. Then I was like, Oh... right... on second thought That Makes A
Lot Of Sense. 2) shouldn't drive drunk 1) Gasoline is already
flammable you add some alcohol to that suddenly even more flammable there's only
so much flammable you can have before a fire starts! 3) not on board with 1)
seems kinda stupid. I'm HALF A YEAR older than Daniel Radcliffe.
ONE AND A HALF years older than Emma Watson (For Whom Emmys were named). SEVERAL
MONTHS YOUNGER than the third one! Rupus Gint I Better Get
It Right This Guy Can Beat Me Up! Older than me! Well any of them can
beat me up. But that's NOW. Wait Rupert Grint. There we go.
My favorite part of the franchise so far is I've seen
18 minutes I dunno we'll see how this shakes out. If Daniel Jumped
Off a Rad Cliff Would You? Probably. He's More Plugged In With
The Kids These Days if he thinks the cliff is rad who am I to argue!
Ugh. Oh, right. I AM An Anti-Fascist. I feel pretty
strongly about this! If Daniel Radcliffe was Anti-Fascist, would you be?
Well, Yeah! But I Would Be Either Way. I thought I made myself clear
on this point. The point is Sure It Shouldn't Be A Contentious
Political Statement to say you are anti-fascist, but hey, here we are!
Ya know what, if you REALLY wanna stick it to Antifa, maybe Stop being Fa!
That'll get our goats good! What chord Progression is F-A that In
Terms Of Numbers. No way to find out!
Else Is Crappening
1/2 More of What I Already Have Wrote Today! Also part of the NYU
Orientation Equation was that one of my suitemates was a kid from Stuyvesant.
Who I recognized enough to know his name, but other than that didn't know him.
So I dunno if that makes it Better or Worse that I didn't participate.
Part of it is worse because its like JEEZ C'mon what are the odds that of
these 3 people I KINDA KNOW ONE. But part of it is better because
Hey What Are The Odds that of these three people I ALREADY HAVE A WORKING
RELATIONSHIP WITH-- ONE THAT IS DEFINED BY WE HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP.
Already explicitly Nothin' To Go On. Hard to change that In My 17 Year Old
head. The point is I'm all grown up now and have a 31.5 Year Old Head.
Well if we're Doing .5's, It was a 17.5 Year Old Head back then.
Anyway, jeez, what else is going on and crap.
Also One-Night-Stand SUITEMATES were having Party, not
ROOMmates. Well, I probably had RoomMate who was Partying With SUITEMates
Back Out In The SUITE! But I was stuck in ROOM. The Suite Life of Zach
And COdy. Oh I Get It-- Because They Live Somewhere. That's
my Hot Take on TV EVEN MORE Younger than Harry Potter than/to/huh Me? What
was going on again? Oh, right. What else is going on.
Because they Live In A Hotel. I See All The Pieces Are Finally
Starting To Come Together. When I was a 1988 DOB Kid there were NO
DISNEYCHANNEL good programs. NOT A ONE. It was a Nickelodeon
Dominated Era! Maybe the odd show on Here Or There, including ABC which
coordinated with Disney! But anyway the point is THIS IS THE IMPORTANT
ISSUES OF THE DAY (Yesterday).
Anyway. Nate Silver keeps teasing an Election
Projection coming soon to 538. This is gonna shake things up! It's
like the Heisenberg Principle. You can't observe something without
impacting it. Key Big Taken-Seriously Polls To Soon Upcoming Elections are
but one scenario that illustrates such a principle! Sure I know
Heisenberg Principle IT CAME UP IN ONE OF THE JURASSIC PARKS.
The point is Great What Else Is Going On And Crap. My prediction for when
538 Model first hits-- ~76-85% odds Biden will win. Probably gonna have
Lunch at some point. Seems about accurate. Unless Model doesn't
hit until 2021. In which case I think I'll just stick with Results
from 2020 elections. Except for how they threw out 12% of All Mail In
Ballots In The Future. In which case I'll check out FiveThirtyEight
Predictions In Retrospect.
Microsoft FrontPage doesn't recognize Nate as a
word. That hardly seems fair! I feel like Geff Joldblum really grew
up from Jurassic Park I to Jurassic Park II. He was a sly full of himself
Player in Jurassic Park I. In Jurassic Park II he's much more thoughtful,
responsible, model Adult Male. Meanwhile I feel like Sam Neill REGRESSED
from Jurassic Park I to Jurassic Park III. FEEL IT HARD CORE.
Finishing up my beer for today right about now. Tomorrow it's onto 1.32x
the amount of beer I had today! Presumably! Maybe a full 2X!!!!
Hmm wonder if I can go back to NYU when Pandemic is over and Participate In the
Suite Life of Suitemates. Sure they'd be 12 years younger than me, but
130 years from now, 12 years hardly seems significant at all!
Fascinating. Last paragraph. I'm Pro-Fasc-INATING
but Anti-Fac-ISM. Seems like a Flip Flopper To Me! But then
again I'd Be Wrong. Also I'm Pro-Addition-NATE-ING to Microsoft FrontPage
Dictionary Database. Hardly seems fair to not have it as a word!
Maybe I'll watch Do The Right Thing today. It's very Hot Outside
And In and that's a key Plot Point of that movie. Also not 100% on
board with continuing #ANYSummerToRemembers. I don't have to so why
should I? I'M Not Joking I'll Watch Some Do The Right Thing. Feels
about right. The point is I Should Have Been Charging My Phone This Entire
Time but I haven't been. Damnit! A whole Early Afternoon Gone
To Putt. I'll see you guys later.
July 28, 2020
like I used this title roughly five weeks ago. I could have said four-six
weeks ago. Figured I'd go the, "Extra Mile," and be as specific as I can!
I feel like its much more likely it was five weeks and not four or six weeks.
Anyway the point is Maybe Title Has Been Used but on the other hand I Can't Help
It If It Applies Again! Anyway. Air Conditioning hasn't been working
the last week. I had a Good, "Idea," to buy Fans. You know what I
mean. Those things that have blades that whirr and make what its
projecting upon cooler. Often make a soothing annoying sound.
There's lots of options theer! Big four to six feet fan you stand up on
Floor. Maybe some sort of Desk Fan. A personal fan you carry around
in your hand. Lots of Good Ideas re: Fans.
Also the way my household works is I come up with a good
idea, we all sort of agree yeah that makes sense and then a week later
we're like well might as well take care of that Now. I blame it on
me. I need to be the driving force! Someone's gotta take charge.
Especially when it IS my idea. If it was Mom or Pop's idea then they'd be
the driving force and take care of it. It's my idea? I can't just
suggest it and then its agreed upon and then be like welp see ya! I
gotta dig in there and be like ok fan time lets go get that fan in four to
six hours Why Even Put It Off For That let's say four to six MINUTES Let's Get
Ready No time like the present. Which is true. Of All Time, the
Present is probably the most Interesting, the most Relevant, and the most
#StarWarsSummerToRemember is DONE. 100%!
Unless you count the TV series. God DAMN YOU DON'T COUNT THE TV SERIES DO
YOU? PLEASE GOD NO. Anyway my Mom kind of wants us to get
cigarettes for her. Basically my Dad Drives Me To A Gas Station and then
cigarettes are exchanged for money. Which part of me is like well we
shouldn't do that, might as well Keep Quarantine-ing As Much. But then
part of me is like well if we did that I'd be justified in getting TWO 2x
Sized Beers! One for today one for tomorrow! But on the other
hand Yeah I'll just wait until Thursday. It's not so far away!
It's in one to three days! Also very limited Food Supply. Got 4
meals until Thursday. Maybe if I drank Gas Station Beer that'd satisfy
Also is it kind of weird that Drinking Beverages doesn't
satisfy our hunger? I mean some beverages makes sense. Water isn't
gonna make you UnHungry. But stuff with Calories. Calories Is Food!
Energy! Like, lets say, even just Orange Juice. It's Food!
Just in liquid form! I guess it depends on How Much Pulp. You
get half pulp/half juice, CMON THAT'S A LOT OF PULP IT SHOULD SATISFY YOUR
HUNGER. Or those protein drinks. It's FOOD in liquid form. I
DON'T GET THIS and that's true I feel strongly about this I hope to Google it
one day and Really Get To The Bottom of It.
Wonderful. Anyway, jeez. Probably gonna be given
the Go-Ahead to open and use Phone Charger tomorrow. I can't wait!
Boy Oh Boy this time I'm really not gonna twist it out of shape!
I've learned my lessons based on the last 4 times I twisted the the phone
charger wire out of shape! ANYWAY I feel like Soup That's Just Broth can
fill you up. What's the difference. I hope to get to the bottom of
this one day for some reason. Anyway. Lunch may be Make 3 Eggs, Have
Half Of That, Pair It With Half A Bagel. Then, if I Crunched The Numbers
Correctly, I will have An Equal Meal left over for Tomorrow Lunch! Also an
Equal Meal is a good meal if you're on a diet. Just pour some Equal
Packets into Water. Now you got Artificial Sweetener Broth! It's
Healthy AND it's good for you. Huh. I'll be back in a bit!
Anyone Remember Yesterday
just went to Gas Station! PRO-- Got beer. CON-- Dad is Rightfully
Upset About Risk and Rightfully Guilt Tripping Me. PRO-- Probably Didn't
get Coronavirus. CON-- MAY Have Gotten Coronavirus. PRO-- got
my mom 1.3 Cartons of cigarettes! CON- Lung Cancer. PRO- Got 2 25 oz
cans of Beer! CON-- well no Con to that! I'm Drinking Beer I'm
Having Fun It's All Worth It In The End! CON-- While I was waiting at
Crosswalk, heard a Mom and Child Wait Behind Me. CON (CONtinued) Dad saw
this and said they were wearing no masks! PRO-- I'LL GET THEM GOOD IF I
EVER SEE 'EM AGAIN THEY'LL PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID. CON-- MAY DIE.
PRO-- STILL ALIVE.
Alright lets get into a good head space. I owe it
to myself for Risking My Father and Mother's's Life! I should have
known something was up with this Mother & Son Pedestrian when the Mother was
like, to the son, the hand is red we have to wait for the hand to turn white
to cross. First of all- No White, Green. Second of
all-- No Hand, Man. I was mainly thinking about the Hmm Adults
should be familiar that GREEN is Go not White. And it's a Walking
Man not a Beckoning Hand was just secondary. Anyway It all should work
out because Hey So Far Its Worked Out That's A Pretty Good Track Record of It
Not Not Working Out. The good news is My Dad can rest peacefully in his
grave knowing he got his family Cigarettes and Beer One More Time. A very
important time! Without it That Time, why, they might have had to go Some
Time without Beer And/Or Cigarettes!
Ugh. My Dad really needs an unhealthy addiction-type
thing to Even Things Out. It's jut not fair for him to be like Well I'm
Healthy so Anything That Happens Is A Real Net Negative For Me. Dunno
what his Kick could be. That would be activated by Quarantine-Breaking.
Oh, right... hmm. Thought If I said Oh, Right... I might
think of something. So far, no such luck! The good news is The
Further This Becomes A Memory Of Shame and not An ACtively-Shameful the less
likely anything bad will come of it. If I forget about it, then
nothing'll happen! It's only when it metastasizes in our memories that it
can hurt us, not unlike Frederick Krueger in that film franchise Home
Ugh. I like Judging People for Doing Less To
Protect Themselves Than Me and Feel Judged By Poelpe For Doing Less Than They Do
To Protect Themselves. The point is even beyond Us All Doing Everything We
Can there's still levels. It is totally legal for me to go around
wearing a mask and just runnin' around and whatnot. It should be!
But it's still A risk. We all gotta figure out The Right Level
where we can Judge Just As Equally As We Are Judged. It is in this happy
median that only the right amount of people will die. Huh?
Oh, right. What else is going on and crap. Oh, right. Figure #HarryPotterSummerToRemember
is just about ready for Take Off.
Anyway, what the what. Here's a way to Prevent Covid
from spreading-- Synchronized Breathing. When you're around someone else,
you take turns breathing! Hmm. Not sure if the Science On That
One Is Solid. But It's PRACTICAL is the point. Besides my Dad
being upset re: beer, it was just as eerie with my Mom being TOTALLY ON BOARD on
account of I Also Got Her Her Cigarettes. Predictable, yes. But
actually seeing it in action was just ugh really. But that's
life. Part of life is death. I think about that a lot in regards to
cigarettes. Its like making a bargain with death. Alright I'll
shave some years off my life, without exaggeration, but I'll feel Entitled To
Feel A Little Big Better Somehow For Some Reason while I'm still around.
And I'm AGAINST that bargain. I'd rather live to be 80 than 75!
That'sa lotta Elderly Years!
In My Head
some lunch going. We're talkin' Cup O' Noodles + Dinner Roll. After
this entry, gotta finish #JurassicParkSummerToRemember. Then onto
Something New! The good news is I Just Gotta Wait 3 Weeks to see if one of
us gets/dies from Covid-19! I could do that time standing on my head.
I don't know why I'd want to. Surely there's more comfortable ways to
spend three weeks. Anyway this Off-Brand Cup O Noodles Tastes Better But
There's Less Of It! Just Like Life with Beer and/or Cigarettes.
Really makes ya think. Also I only got 4 more paragraphs to go for
today. About 1/4th of 2x Can of Beer. Which is about 1/2 of 1 can of
beer. Which is 1 of 1/2 cans of beer. My Dad may day but Every
Time I Do Math he lives on through me.
That doesn't sound fair to him. I'd much rather be
alive than live through When My Son Does Math. Then again maybe if I was A
Math Teacher I'd feel differently! I Dunno! Dinner'll be maybe some
Egg and Bagel. Something along those lines. I was partly inspired to
eat Cup O Noodles from watching 2/3rds of Ikiru last night. I always stop
after He Dies. Rest of the movie is a Snooze One Would Imagine! Even
if I Don't Stop, I Start Tuning Out Around Then, so there's no real way to know
for sure. I remember often having the thought, watching Kurosawa films,
hey they got some nice Culinary Options in Early-Mid 1900's Japan. They
ain't subsiding on Gruel and Broth. They got Good Options and Good Quality
Okay. I cooked Lunch! I totally boiled water
for about 7-9 minutes until it was boiling! Also I'm boiling in my house!
Sweating all over the place! Gotta imagine sweating outside activates
Getting and/or Spreading Coronavirus. Because of Sweat Glands and whatnot.
I don't have all the details but its a decent hypothesis. Anyway, at
crosswalk, I was waiting like 3 minutes, and the light never changed, so I just
crossed anyway. Gotta imagine Mother and Child are STILL There,
though, considering they're Still Waiting For A White Hand to give them the Go
Signal. Oh, that's another part of it. I was waiting there for 30
seconds myself, then 2 minutes or so with them, and then I just left without any
Go-Ahead. If only I had left 2 minutes earlier, I could have avoided
all this. Avoid Covid. Hmm.
Penultimate paragraph! I gotta take a room
temperature bath or something. This is ridiculous. Anyway have
another 2x Beer for tomorrow. Then Supermarket Beer. 3x Single Beers
for 6 out of 7 days. If this If this was the kind of math
my Dad lived on with me he would be Very Very Disappointed. Such is
life! There's that heart breaking part in Ikiru where he's thinking back
on his life and his Son as a teenager or young adult is playing baseball and
gets a hit and Ikiru is SO HAPPY and is like to the fellow spectators hey
check that out whatta hit! and and then his son gets picked off
trying to steal a base and he's like well my Son is a Failure now Oh Well
What Can Ya do. I might be adding my own perspective onto that scene.
Such is Film.
Last paragraph! Legit Idea for next franchise--
#HomeAloneSummerToRemember. But maybe only the first Three.
You'd think only the first two, right? But I remember seeing the third one And
Yeah It's Worth A Re-watch! It's the one with that Chumbawamba song.
I get knocked down, then I get up again... which would be a good song if you
didn't instinctually associate it with Home Alone III: Back To The Minors.
Anyway what else is going on and crap. Also Chumbawamba was the
original name for Chewbacca but they decided they wanted to have
subliminal advertisement for Chewing Bacca Leaves. Which are a thing I
Think Exists for some reason no one is really sure of. Anyway great
another entry in the books. I'll see ya tomorrow!
July 27, 2020
Try Something New
Hey Great News! I'll keep you updated on this situation as it
progresses. Hey Great News! I'm getting Five Progresso Soups
that is a legitimate positive fraction of the Great News. Point is
Delivery With Good Super Market on for Thursday Morning. We made a
compromise where we kept our integrity and dignity after Breaking Up With Them
over the weekend because of their foolishness. GOt some discounts, got
some credits, all in all Everybody Wins Especially Me This Way I Can Get BBQ
Salmon & Beer! Anyway I had a dream last night I was getting a pack of 19
cans of beer. That's how they sold it in my dream. By the 19s.
Now I kinda wanna see that. People would go nuts! Imagine the
advertising campaigns! Hmm might remind people of Covid 19. Maybe
that's where MY DREAM came from. No way of knowing. I'm not in
touch with the Inside-Out-Type-Guy in charge of my dreams.
Yeah I'm ognna get some GREAT sandwiches. Some ROAST
CHICKEN. And so on and so forth, the point is Wow What A Great Luxury and
Convinience No Foolin'! Anyway I'm weird because I was on google.com or
whatever and at the bottom it said Remembering John Lewis, 1940-2020 and
my first reaction wasn't yeah that's too bad about John Lewis, it was,
Hmm really great years to have your lifespan on. Ends in 0's, exact
multiples of 20's... Life well lived I guess! Anyway Great News made
some progress and am Almost Done with #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething. Rogue
One is watched and was pretty good! Now I'm down to Solo: The Solo Movie,
which, before this summer, had been the latest one I had watched. Back
when it debuted. On TV. TV on the computer. Which is my Sequel
Band to TV on the Radio.
I used to confuse TV on the Radio with Gym Class Heroes.
Similar concept. TV vs Radio is a classic Gym Class Conflict which may
involve some sort of heroes on one team depending on who wins this dodge ball
game.. Uhh.. Not really figuring out how to convey they're
similar concepts. Except for the fact they are similar because I
Confused Them For Some Reason. Anyway got my Phone Charger today
presumably. They said its been delivered Into My Mail Box. I can't
wait to find out if that's accurate or a Dirty Dirty Lie! The point is I'm
having a hard time figuring out what I'm gonna do for meals before Thursday.
I think I can Eek out some decent meals but I'm cutting it close! Also EEK
is an onomatopoeia. I don't know EXACTLY WHAT it means but I'm
guessing it means something similar to What it Sounds Like.
Well, great, what else I got going on. Looking very
likely I will resume #FilmFranchisesSummersToKeepRemembering with a #HarryPotterSummerToRemember.
They got all of 'em on HBOMAX. We're talkin' ALL of them. Not
missing two! Not missing one! They even have TWO MOVIES for 1 book!
I can't believe it what a value From My Point Of View Right Now. If I was
paying Theater Tickets it would be a DETRIMENT to value, suddenly I'm paying 2x
as much for the Same Amount Of Book. But now taht I'm not paying anything,
I'm getting... uh... I forgot if this rant makes sense or not. I
mean I know it Doesn't Make Sense for the most part, but I forget if it makes
any amount of sense. But such is life! The question now is Do I
Finish #OriginalJurassicParkSummerToRemember with JPIII? My guess is?
Cool! Hey take a break after this paragraph. I
Like Those Odds! I feel like I saw Last Harry Potter: Part II in
theaters and it was scary because I feel like The Entire Movie was The Kids out
in the Fog and its dark outside. That's literally all I registered.
Oh they're outside, it's foggy, dark outside... I could be 100% way off from
what the movie actually was. But that's my memory! Also is his real
name Harris Potter. Or Harold Potter. Maybe someone should look into
this! Few people are named Harry on their birth certificate.
Then again, few people are Wizards. So he's challenging all sorts
of assumptions about people! Anyway I'll be back in a bit!
Now Something Old
Hey-- some sort of joke involving Trump Supporters, Nazis, and Haircuts re:
Pandemic. There's several moving parts in that Insight (Laugh?)-Em-Up and
I charge it to YOU to figure out how to put it together! Anyway Cup of
Coffee #2 of 2! Lunch'll be Same Lunch as Yesterday which was Briefly In
Consideration for Dinner Of Yesterday. But now it's Lunch today.
People can't get enough of this website! I think my main impression of
Jurassic Park III as a kid was yeah Jurassic Park II makes sense, Jeff
Goldblum is charisma he'll make a mediocre film Pretty Great! And Sam
O Neill? This guy is BORING BLAND! And now that I'm a bit older,
KINDA SCARY. There's something Off About This Guy and not just because He
Was In A Horror (Horrors?) Movie! WELL MAYBE just because of that.
I dunno. I stand by that, though. Something's the matter with
Sam O Neill! Mainly incorrectly inserting the, "O," into his name.
Anyway Phone Charger did indeed come in mail but Mother
is like nah leave that lying around for 48 hours. ANd I'm like
WHAT IS THIS A NICK NOLTE EDDIE MURPHY VEHICLE? Except for the last
part. My actual reaction was Yeah, Okay. I think if Trump
loses, they should continue doing Approval Rating polls of him every day.
Just to get Trump's goat. Every day just send him another mail (THROUGH A
REVITALIZED USPS!) and be like yep still stuck at 40.1% approval! Three
out of five Americans Still Not On Board! The one negative thing about
this premise is I Honestly Don't Trust Trump's Ability To Conceptualize Numbers.
40.1 is just a weird ranadom number to him. He can't put together what it
means in regards to him or his approval or whatever. President of The
Sounds about right! Alright 2 movies to put
Mediocre-From-My-Current-Perspective Summer To Remember Franchises To Bed.
Solo The Han Solo Vehicle. Jurassic Park III: This Time Raptors are TOO
Intelligent. What else. Gonna take a break a clean 1/2 way through
the entry and come back in a little bit with Lunch! We're talkin Turkey
Sandwich & Beefed Barley Soup. Then I'm out of Soup until Thursday!
And running out of turkey! Oh No whatever will I do. Probably
figure somethin' out. Gotta charge phone with Dad's Supervision with
his charger. He (rightly!) doesn't trust me to do it without starting to
twist up his wire. I've shown time and time again I can't be relied
upon to not Entangle A Single Wire Itself Somehow! Anyway I'll be back in
The point is I don't think we should lose sight of actively
disapproving of Donald Trump even after his presidency. Or after his
complete withdrawal from public life. Or after his death. I think we
should be continued to consciously disapprove of him AT LEAST once a week from
now on! At least for the rest of our lives. Then when the
last of us are dead so too can be Donald Trump. Anyway I didn't start
lunch yet. Figure I'll write 2 or so paragraphs and then do lunch.
Like a Sane Person would divide into time-sections. Also thinking about
having a smaller lunch and having Great Sandwich and Soup for Di... now that
I think about it more concisoly and actively I WANT THAT KINDA LUNCH FOR
LUNCH! No goin' back now that I've been Primed for a fun lunch!
Anyway its nice to have some Beer to look forward to.
72 hours or so, that's a good benchmark for being Not Too Much. My
best guess is Jurassic Park III when this entry is dunzo later. Wonderful.
Yes I Realize continuing to poll Trump's approval after he's not President might
Backfire because you'd think the more removed from Destroying Things and Being A
National Embarrassment and Destroying Other Things, it'd tick up. Well,
that's a risk we NEED to take. If we don't poll, then it'll tick up
anyway, with no push back! If we're constantly polled we gotta keep his
Disastrousness fresh in our minds, like I said, about once a week! Anyway
I'll be back in a little bit with lunch.
Whatever Feels Right
Terrible pun where it's like Zoom is an appropriate medium for Pandemic
because its like Co-Vids. Yeah! It's almost as insightful as
if you didn't know Trump Supporters were Skin Heads until now Now You Really
Know! Cause they're the ones getting haircuts is the point.
Maybe if there was a section IV I'd explain the Co-Vid joke a little bit better.
Anyway what else is going on. The point is I've NEVER done a co-vid
whether its Zoom or FaceTime but I will have to do it several times in August on
account of Doctor's Appointments. I can't get blood work done or anything
Real, but if they cancel it altogether they lose customers! Patients!
Patients are customers. We consume their medical expertise. Yeah
I got lunch going on what of it.
Jeez. I know some people wouldn't enjoy Hot Soup on
a very Hot & Sweaty Day. I'm of the school of thought that Hot Soup makes
The Rest Of Body feel cooler in comparison to soup. Anyway. Starting
to get back into Jalepeno Peppers. I bought SuperMarket Jalepeno Pepper
Jars (Think Pickles but Jalepeno Peppers) two or three times and Now I've
been... well... yeah... getting back into it... I tried to stretch this into a
story somehow but sentence 2 and 3 were just duplicates of sentence 1.
Fascinating. II figured out a life hack where you can have a bowl of
soup on a bigger plate and put sandwich on Other Half of Plate but you put
Sandwich on Paper Towel so the Sandwich doesn't get Soggy from Overflow of Soup.
Fascinating. I'm a little worried about how Greta Thunberg is the
authority on Climate Change and Addressing Climate Change. Because look
there's multi-faceted stuff going on. I dunno if she knows exactly what to
do By Herself. Maybe she's smart enough to delegate the political, civil,
and financial details to a Democraticic Group that shares her general goals and
ideals. Sounds about right. Got my phone charging Right
Anyway. Only got about 2/3rds of 1 bottle of Diet Pepsi
left for the next 68 hours. I can deal with that. I enjoy water.
But the point is The Countdown To Beer is continuing! The good thing abuot
enoying Sandwich with Jalepeno Peppers With Soup is if a Pepper falls out,
instead of repeating over and over putting pepper back on meat, just put it in
the soup! The main negative thing about having to use Father's Phone
Charger is at night when I wanna listen to music At Will For However Long I
Want, I have to consider portioning it out so phone don't run out of battery
Also the other thing is double-and-triple checking Somehow Porn doesn't just
start popping up while phone is in My Dad's general Vicinity. Rarely
happens To Me so I think I should be okay.
Okay! Also pretty close to finishing up a
Tangential #DickVanDykeSummerToRemember. It's like a Stand-Alone film in
the Franchise of #MineSummersToRemembers. I sometimes check HBOMAX to see
if they have Tales From The Crypt, and being upset that they don't have it, even
though I can see All Tales From The Crypt For Free On Youtube, because I'm upset
for Other People. Other people might not know to check YouTube for Tales
From The Crypt. They're missing out completely! It's pretty
altruistic is the point and also It'll Feel More Official Watching it on HBO and
I love Officiality. Hey I just finished my lunch. MAN AM I
What else is going on. How many more days of the
month are there. July Until Saturday. Today is Monday.
How about those calculations! Might re-watch Ikiru especially since
I CANT look at my phone right now. It's a fun movie because I like the
movie and then I also like Ben Folds' Hiro's Song and its a similar plot
to the song now taht I think about it. What else is going on and crap.
Nothin. I'll see ya tomorrow.
July 26, 2020
Sometime Entry Decent
Anyway I just had 1/20th of a shot of alcohol from an old Rum Bottle that was
lying around. And I was like MAN OH MAN why haven't I been using 5% of
drinks As A Single Portion this whole time?! It gives you, legit, a
Slight Kick! At the very least I should be doing .25 Of Shots at once!
That way I'm... uh... well the point is I'd Like To Drink Some Alcohol.
No good options though! Probably will be able to by the end of Upcoming
Week. So, great. Anyway a lot of worry about Trump People Gutting
the USPS from the inside. My idea is for the USPS to Buy Back some
expensive stamps. Like how corporations Buy Back Stock. In y very
limited understanding of economics Postal Service should have a massice spending
spree getting back Quality Stamps and then THEY'RE in control.
Is it a premise of privatizing the postal service where they
could like have Different Tiers Of Stamps? Like Amazon Prime or something.
But just for Stamps! Also is it possible to re-use stamps? Seems like if
you had some Catch-Me-If-You-Can Forgery tools and skills you'd be able to
re-use a stamp you just got. So the point is the only way to Save the
Postal Service from THE OUTSIDE IN is to start re-using stamps. It's a
form of protest. We ain't buying new stamps until you start running the
USPS up to OUR Standards! The point is the last two paragraphs show a
very, very limited understanding of Well Pretty Much Everything. Also
we ain't using the Corporate alternatives to USPS. In fact we're gonna use
USPS EVEN MORE I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT IS. Wait that's the opposite of
the first idea. The point is Trump needs to lose and Biden needs to
Rescue the USPS. Seems like a good bi-partisan issue to raise before
Election. People like The Postal Service! Even if their best song is
just a cover of Iron & Wine!
Sure I Know Iron & Wine. I had One Iron & Wine Song on
my iTunes in the late 2000's! Music Aficionado! iTunes was fun.
You get to organize music in a real fun individualistic way. Make your own
Playlists! Check out your, "Top 25," Listened To Songs and watch how it
changes day by day. SHUFFLE. Anyway those 3 things, right, fine,
what else is going on. Oh, right. As a musician Making Mp3s
its a ton of fun to play around on iTunes imagining different titles and
organizations of titles and all that crap. Makes it Fun and Easy And
EFFICIENT. Anyway lunch today gonna be some Turkey Sandwich with some Beef
Barley Soup. I had a Beef Barley Standard Soup with dinner last night and
it was Fine! Not gross like Chicken Noodle Soup. Not as GREAT as a
Hearty Beef Barley but Still Positive.
Anyway, jeez. Biden (presumably) would want to make
USPS Cheaper, More Efficient, and More Reliable. Trump is on the opposite
side of All Of That (to the extent that he personally understands or cares about
the issue at all). Seems like a Slam Dunk. It's like the evergreen
Infrastructure issue that's bipartisan but never materializes, but this time
one side is AGAINST infrastructure. Anyway, what else is going on and
crap. Anyway I dunno. Gonna eat lunch in about an hour! This
much I am comfortable making a prediction about, a prediction that I feel is a
solid 75% chance of being accurate! Man if I just had HALF a shot of
alcohol laying around somewhere I could have TEN DRINKS. That's how
Gin Rummy? Make up your mind! That's like saying
Vodka Tequilia. Or Whiskey ... uh... Brandy. That sounds
about right. Is it safe to have 2+ alcohol spirits in the same drink?
Or is it like Crossing The Streams in Ghostbuster Climax. Hmm.
Ghost busters. Spirits. Crossing The Road. Where Am I again.
Also Yes I am sure there are many very common concoctions of multiple
spirits. Like when Exorcist was Possessed and she was like we're all in
here Professor Priest, would you like to say hello to your mother.
Personally I think That Was A Scam. That Possessed girl KNOWS Dr. Priest's
Mother isn't in there she's just trying to Scam Him. That'd be my guess
Does anyone watch The Exorcist, from beginning to end, and is
like, Well that's a good mystery I guess we'll Never Know if shewas Truly
Possessed or not! Real Taught Psychological Thriller with the truth left
open-ended. C'mon! Anyway probably be havin' lunch for next
section of entry. Probably lots of things! I was thinking about
things and I wanna get back into Music but on the other hand That Sounds Like
Work and I am Anti-Work. By which I mean I want to Now START using
Antebellum in my Band Name. The Upper Antebellums. You don't let
some Hot Word Property Like That go unused! It's simple economics or
something. I forget what this paragraph was about. Oh, people who
think it's open ended on whether Reagan was possessed. That's right
President Ronald Reagan. Possessed by the devil! Could Be!
come no one is ever possessed by angels. HOLY CRAP THIS 12 YEAR OLD
GIRL IS GOING AROUND BLESSING PEOPLE PERFORMING MIRACLES WHILE NOT EVEN
CONSCIOUS! ...I I dunno? What else do angels do.
Good Stuff. First thing that comes to mind of What Angels Do is when
statues of Virgin Mary or something start crying. 1) angels don't do that.
2)stop making her cry we should try to cheer her up! 3)Angels as far as I
can tell are to help baseball players Specifically In The Outfield. So
basically this 12 year olf Angel girl is signed to the major leagues and is good
at baseball for 3 hours and then when the game is over she's like Whaaa..
huh... what just happened?!?! And then Danny Glover is like you
went 2-3 with a double.
I guess. For lunch, we're talkin' Turkey & Jalepeno
Peppers on White Bread and Some Standard Beef Barley soup. We're talkin' I
could have options for beer before Supermarket Delivery but I don't feel like
arguing. On the other hand, I also don't feel like Not Being Buzzed.
Which was the Minor League Team Name in Major League III: Back To The Minors:
Which In Retrospect Makes The Original Title Totally Inaccurate. I know
there's been a lot of talk lately about how TV and Films portray Police as Good
hearted goof balls always trying to do the right thing. Well I fear
they've made the same mistake with baseball players. In reality these guys
are MONSTERS. Unless it's one of the rare Basketball movies. Then
they're PLAYING the Mon-stars.
Anyway. What else. About 1/3rd into Jurassic
Park: The Lost World: Now We Found It Again, and its more straightforward Action
movie. Here's how I think that movie went down-- Hey Steven we're gonna
make another Jurassic Park movie it's just too profitable to not do it.
And he's like fine well leave me out of it I got better things to do than
mediocre sequels. And then they go behind closed doors for 20 minutes
and Steven is like Well looks I'm on board for some reason no one is really
sure of. The point is I finished the sandwich before the soup and some
Jalepeno Peppers survived so now I dumped them into the soup. I'm some
kind of genius I guess.
Cool! I've been wondering for days how much Hearty Beef
Barley Soup costs Vs. Non Hearty. LMLTURQ. WHAT THE HELL HEARTY BEEF
BARLEY IS 10 CENTS CHEAPER. This is the Scandal Of The Century! I
refuse to believe this. This must be an outlier. An aberration.
I can't accept this is universal. Which is what I say after watching
Every Movie on Peacock. Universal Studios movies. That's why its
on NBC-UNIVERSAL-PEACOCK. Constantly being like I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS IS
UNIVERSAL. Glad I cleared that up By Repeating It Again In Very Similar
Language. The good news is I wasn't so far off estimating the price of
One Beef Barley Can. I aimed at around $1.29, it was, in this one place,
I guess. In addition to the ongoing Film Franchises
Summer To Remembers, I'm gonna have to come up with a replacement sitcom for
Dyke Van Dick. So I'll give some thought to that I guess. Gotta
think about something. Anyway. Best guess is Re-upping with alcohol
~Friday. You know what that means! ~Friday. Which is the Spin-off
Stand Alone Film in the Friday Franchise that's only tangentially about the main
crux of Fridays: The Film Franchises. So, yeah, that's, what' Five Days?
Ugh. Well, great. Finish this paragraph. Write Section III of
entry in a little bit. I'll be back in a minute! Colloquially, at
Up until I don't. Anyway time for Phase III of entry: The Third Phase.
Is it possible I clean up microwave for the first time in 10 years based on my
Mom's instruction? Yeah! Will I? Probably at some point!
Will it be today? Probably Not! The point is I Gotta Do All The
Adult Chores I Can Do to justify All The Alcohol I Can Potentially Get.
It's a real Thirty Year old man's dilemma. I think Dioramas are fun
for EVERYONE involved. It's like yes drawing pictures is great when
you're in third great-- but get a load of this escalation-- we want YOU yes YOU
AN EIGHT YEAR OLD to make a THREE-D REPRESENTATION OF WHATEVER. IT's YOUR
DIORAMOA HAVE FUN WITH IT.
By which I actually mean hey dioramas are great maybe
your parents would like to make one for you. Which, I dunno, maybe
they DO think it'll be great for your parents. Otherwise, why assign it at
all. How come there's no Diorama Artistry. There's 2-D artists.
There's conceptual artists which Can Be in 3-D. But there's no just, like,
3-D paintings. Well I'm sure there are. The point is this premise is
very shaky and I only made it two sentences into it before it started falling
apart. Anyway. I was taking a bath. "Taking a bath," on
something means like you're losing money or something, right? What's wrong
with Taking A Bath. It's fun. Usually you're doing it on your own
volition. It has nothing to do with finances or investments or
money. Leave Taking A Bath alone! Is it cause in the past baths were
SO EXPENSIVE that just Taking One Bath set you back a considerable amount of
$$$? Who knows not me.
Great! Decent chance I'll just have the exact same
dinner as I had lunch. I'm, "Okay," with that. It was a good lunch!
On second thought, I'd Like to have a different Supper! But there's only
so many options. If we ain't having a communist supper (wouldn't it be
nice to have communist Supers, though? Per: Eviction Crisis!) I can Make
Mysefl Some Eggs: The Meal I Haven't' Done In Months But Is Fun! I
remember mixing in some hot sauce Into The Mix. The Egg Mix. What is
now The Egg & Hot Sauce Mix. Re: USPS, if you get a TrampStamp, that
should be life a lifetime pass for the postal service. No need for any
more stamps! I feel like TrampStamps aren't a thing anymore. They
were in the 2000's. As per my understanding. Trump Stumps.
Tramp Stamps are when women tattoo their lower back/above the ass. Trump
Stumps are the very small cocks of Trump Supporters. They didn't even
need to have anything done, they just came into the world with a Trump Stump and
they'll leave the world with a Trump Stump.
Sure It's, "PC," to body shame people If They Disagree With
Me Politically! To be fair its beyond disagreeing with me politically.
I think we can agree On This Website if You're a Trump Stumper there's gotta be
like a 90, 95% chance Body Shaming you is somewhat, vaguely appropriate.
Anything that'll hurt your feelings! Body shaming isn't IDEAL but if it'll
make ya feel bad I Guess It's Doing It's Job. Hah. Tramp Stamp.
Trump Stump. I figure if I didn't Absent Mindedly, "Riff," on that for 2
paragraphs it would have been a nice, fun throwaway. Oh well Mistakes
Were Made no going back now!
Great, last paragraph. I can, "Dig," that.
Anyway. Election Day is in 100 days per my understanding. Wonder if
that's a decent over/under for Me Personally Being Able To Lift Quarantine For
Me Personally And My Family Tangentially. Sounds like a good In-The-Middle
guess. The point is Great Just Great. Iron & Wine sounds like a nice
classy dinner. I think Steak is high in Iron. Wine is high in Wine.
Nice Steak and wine. Or maybe its a new spin off Iron and Whine.
Where Iron is Iron Man is the hero we all know and love and his side kick is a
kid who complains all the time about things. The point is another entry in
the books. I'll see ya tomorrow presumably!
July 25, 2020
Are You Doing
That sounds like fun. Anyway Pun time-- Jurassic Five is the alt title
to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Anyway explanation of Pun time--
Jurassic Five was (is?) a Rap Group. Anyway about 30-40 minutes into
Jurassic One this time around. My favorite parts are the first 20-30
minutes before Jurassic Park shows up because its on one hand the least
memorable part of the movie, so watching it isn't as boring as the rest.
But also, its nostalgic because it IS memorable when you've watched it on VHS
several dozen times. That guy falls off Putting a Raptor in the cage!
We see the raptor Eyes. Velocio Rapper is a GREAT TERRIBLE name for
a rapper. Speed is important factor in a lot of rappers. Velocio
means speed. The point is someone should pay me for coming up with Velocio
Hmm more puns about Rappers and Veliocorapters as seen in
Jurassic Park: The Major Motion Franchise. Well, that counts as More.
I said In Italics there should be some more and YOU get to fill in the
blanks! Anyway, jeez. Phone stopped charging. Because fo the
charger. Not the phone! That phrasing insinuated the wrong thing.
The phone didn't stop charging. The charger-wire stopped charging.
But the good news is Now I Get To Spend more time Away From My Phone and With My
Family. I think it's Great that B.D. Wong is in both Jurassic Park and
Jurassic World. I know him as Priest from Oz. You may know him as
Soe Other Stuff I Dunno I'm not 100% on this guys oeuvre.
Fascinating. So yeah its a bummer not to have beer but
I'll Survive Presumably. I'd put 10 to 1 odds on Me Surviving.
Anyway, yesterday my Dad was like I Passed My Covid Test and I was like
WAIT WHAAT YOU TOOK COVID TEST AND YOU PASSED? IS THAT A SYNONYM OF SAYING
POSITIVE? WHEN U TAKE THIS TEST. And he was like No I Passed
the online course that I had to take in case I ever wanna teach in a live
classroom with Covid going around. And I was like DAMNIT I WAS
HOPING YOU TOOK THE TEST AND WAS NEGATIVE. If he took the test
and was positive that's even worse! But negative test is better than
positive academic test. Interesting, very interesting.
Anyway I was listening to a bit of my Dad teaching last
week and for some reason he was talking about the initials SSA and he was
like an easy way to remember it is, I'm not gonna say it in polite company,
but if you spell it backwards, its a bad word, but it might help you remember.
That's as close as he gets to being offensive. Which is closer than some
people I guess! Anything even resembling being offensive is more than a
lot of teachers! The point is now you know his secret shame of how he
teaches by Using Profanity. Oh well what can ya do. Also
remember these are community college students. 18+. I think they can
stomach reading ASS backwards. Lol Ass Backwards.
That's a phrase and my Dad didn't even realize it. Looks like the
student has become the Even BETTER student To His Father.
Well, great. My Dad would be proud of me.
Presumably. Now I feel all warm inside. Anyway gotta have that sushi
for lunch today. Only thing That Must Be Eaten As Soon As Possible!
So I got that going for me is the point. My Dad would be proud of me.
Honestly that's a more accurate description of whether my Dad will or will not
be proud of me. Ass Backwards, he can take it or leave it. Maybe
even leave it. Me eating what's not gonna stay fresh forever?
Now we're talking GREAT Son. I think I just realized the problem I
have with Jurassic World other than It Not Being As Good. Look, Jurassic
Park was a park. We can all agree on that. Jurassic World?
Maybe 4 or 5 films in it might be a Jurassic World. But for now it's just
a Jurassic Park and a little pocket of the mainland in Episode V. We are solidly
NOT in a Jurassic WORLD as of yet! Be back in a bit.
good news is I'm working my way back around to a #TalesFromTheCryptSummerToRemember.
I'm also having Sushi + a Bread. That's other good news! I'm full of
good news! Like That, and this, and more stuff, presumably. Hey
ALTERNATE local Supermarket delivery Does Sell Beer! So basically In a few
days to a week I can have beer. Which is good because I got nothin' else
to do. I can have nightmares when I'm asleep and daymares when I'm awake.
I can eat all the meals my little heart desires (But remember my little heart is
cognitive of the fact that I shouldn't eat too many little... mea... well
when you put it that way LITTLE meals sound okay no matter how many of them
BD WONG. I feel like he shws up in some sort of
Hospital Nighttime Soap Opera. I'll look that one up right quick. I
Was Right! He has been on shows. I was wrong about Night Time
Hospital Soap Operas. I was thinking about Night Time Crime Procedural
Soap Episode-Contained Operas. Also tip for parents-- if your kid says
a bad word, "What's SSA Backwards?" instead of feeding them soap Make Em Watch
An Soap Opera. In Completion! They don't get sick, they have an even
worse time, but then you and them get to experience Culture At Its Finest.
Wait I'm confusing Operas with Soap Operas Anyway. Is Is
there Currently or will there be any Future Thing where its like well people
were into this culturally for a while, we know that much, and people still DO IT
for some reason... but really who is getting anything out of this.
Sports maybe. Then we cycle back aroung to operas once sports are
gone. Then cycle back to sports. Great I just Cracked Culture
I dunno. Finished some lunch. It was fun.
Dinner may or may not be a Bagel with what may or may not be cream cheese if not
what may be butter. I like the idea of BD Wong being the main (only?)
casting link from Jurassic Park to Jurassic World. Because he's basically
just an extra. He has like 3-5 lines of dialogue but before I saw Oz Or
Late Night Procedural Crime Soap Opera I wouldn't have remembered him at all.
Sure I spent 8 seconds trying to think of an ITS LIKE IF...
but I decided that was too difficult! I've got better things to do.
Like go on a #BDWongBingeSummerToRemember. Anyway BD WONG has run the
gamut of All Your Classic Roles. Priest, Policeman, and Dinosaur Man.
Yeah. Sure. Sounds about right.
Anyway. After this section of Entry back to
Jurassic Park. Also has anyone done the research on if All Dinosaurs in
Jurassic Park are accurately from the Jurassic Period? There were several
Periods of dinosaurs. I'm betting not all of these are from Jurassic
Period! LMLTURQ. NOPE most of them are from the Crustaceous Period
which is what Pauly, "The Weasel," Shore uses to describe... uhh... "Crusty,"
and some word ending with, "Acious..." Both terms Pauly, "The Weasal,"
Shore would use so why not a portmanteau. Feelin a bit Crustacious
Buddddy. The point is America is VERY ready for An, "The Weasel,"
Reboot. I know we're getting Bill and Ted. But that's secondary to a
Pauly Shore. I think all reasonable people could agree on that.
Fascinating. Hey, great, what else is going on.
Is it possible they used a crustaceous pun in the first draft of Encino
Man before concluding people are presumably smart enough to separate the
Human Ice Age 10,000 years ago from Dinosaur Age 100 million years ago.
So basically they decided
to give the audience Too Much Credit for a Pauly Shore movie. Anyway.
Jeez. Crusty is probably 90% definitely a negative thing unless he's like
this croissant is pretty crustaceous (Buddy). Well, great. I'll
be back in a little bit.
That sounds like a title I've used before. Too bad there's no way of
looking that up without the motivation to actually spend 20 seconds on it.
Anyway Dinner Probs gonna be a Smart Ones: The Frozen Meals if we ain't doing
anything communal. The point is In Politics I'm a Progressive-Center-Leftistist
but in Dinners I am a Communist. We should all share a dinner it's fun its
PRODUCTIVE and ITS FAIR. Also we can grow our own dinner in
our Communes. So some of us will have All Oats, All The Time for dinner,
while others will have Butcher Cutlery for each meal. Not actual
meat. Just the action of butchers producing meat from animals. We
get to Eat That Somehow. Anyway just had an Entenmanns: The Chocolate
(Frosted?) Donut. I had half of it 2 hours ago I had the other half less
than 2 hours ago more like Right Around Now.
Well, great. I like Jurassic Park because it is
either No Genre At All or All Genre At once. It can bee seen as a Horror
movie in the tradition of Jaws: The Major Motion Picture, it can be seen as a
kids movie in the tradition of Hey Kids Like Dinosaurs... Sci-Fi, obviously,
It's got some laughs in it, good drama. The point is Jurassic Park is a
nearly perfect movie? And it's groundbreaking in terms of letting us know
that Dinosaurs are being cloned somewhere and its only a matter of time
we see Jurassic Park in real world. Or Jurassic World in Real Park.
The point is It Just Is as a movie. And I Like That!
Wow! Hey this is a great time to test my Meal Idea
of having TWO Smart Ones: The Frozen Meals We Already Covered This at once!
Boy oh boy. I'll think about it. I'm gonna be honest, the first
season of Dick Van Dyke was pretty good, but then it sorta just settled into a
more predictable formula. Maybe it always was and it just seemed new and
interesting to me the first 2 dozen episodes. I don't have all the
answers! Its still worth watching but I'm not, "Blowing My Beans," over
it. You know, "Cooling My Freezer?" I'm not, "Gouging Out My
Eyeballs," is the point. I think at this point I should just declare
officially I AM DONE WITH #STARWARSSUMMERTOREMEMBER. I don't wanna
watch those last two One-Off Star Wars. Might as well put that to rest
EXPLICITLY otherwise it just hangs in the air like a phrase like, "Blowing One's
Why is Boston called Beantown. Do they just really like
beans in boston. Is it because the words are Kind of? similar.
Bos (ton).. BoS... BeanS. Maybe there's a Bean Hill or something. I
feel like that was a battle in the Revolutionary War. The Clash Over Bean
Hill. Is Boston Beans a kind of beans? That might be it.
LMLTURQ. YEP Boston Baked Beans. And here my first hypothesis was
THERE'S A, "B," AND AN, "S," IN BOTH WORDS THAT CAN'T JUST BE A COINCIDENCE
THAT'S GOTTA BE IT! Well the point is I put this debate to rest
and now we all have a little bit more knowledge than we did going into this
paragraph. I think they're STILL CALLED Boston Baked Beans. This
is relatively common knowledge. Yeah I guess. Well there it
is. Evidence of my ignorance and stupidity. Which, again, is
also relatively common knowledge, but There It Is, the evidence of the evidence.
I feel like you should be able to get alcohol from baked beans. Alright
I Get It There's Many Evidences Of My Dumbness.
Well, great, another entry in the books almost. The
piont is it's been a while since I've had the non-Hearty Beef Barley and I think
it's back on the Gross Spectrum that the rest of the Progresso Soups settled in.
Still gotta chance of being Okay, though. So that's another thing to
consider. For me. You shouldn't be considering it. You are
many levels removed from having to show consideration as to what my meals and
soups will and won't be. Oh Hey I think DisneyPlus has an #XMenSummerToRemember.
I'll look into that at some point I guess. Readin' an illiterate's
signature... "Who here is an ,'X,' Man?" ... and then the guy is like, "I THINK
THAT'S GOTTA BE ME!" He's not even sure though cause What's an 'x' to him
after all? But also
this riff makes absolutely no sense and
provides absolutely nothing to the Internet Discourse. So, great.
I'll see ya tomorrow.
July 24, 2020
That's true! Old, old titles From Years Ago! But That's All In
The Past Now! Now we're in the present. Or maybe the future.
Definitely not the past, though! I feel 40% certain on this point of
contention. Anyway CON: I've been waiting All Day for Super Marketed
Delivery to arrive! Waitin' for 5 or 6 hours and NOTHIN'. PRO: After
waiting hours after I wantd to have lunch from Super Marketer, I settled
on a Hot Pocket. Continuation of That Pro: Tried it with Hot Sauce which
hasn't been used in 2 months And It's GreaT! Con: I wasn't writing Entry
because the whole time Delivery Could Come at any moment. Pro: It
HOPEFULLY is coming sometime around 4:30-5:00. PRO/CON: If my
anticipation Plan is 3 beers 6 out of the 7 days of the weeks, I could use this
as the One By Day. Or I could have my Beers at a reasonable Evening time.
The point is I'm gonna hopefully finish Section 1 of Entry and then have 2nd
section before dinner and third section AFTER DINNER! OH BOY IT'S A REAL
MIXEM UP AT THE QARNOONMUSBLUM HOUSE. Uh oh I just cracked that code.
You go through your whole life thinking you're, "Not Q," but then one day your
faith in that premise IS SHATTERED.
I considered taking the day off from entry. But then I
considered NOT doing that. And I considered that More and More Better So
Here I Am! Look the point is when you make a hot pocket, particularly in
the microwave, when you start taking bites and/or cutting it up with cutlery,
you expect A Good Amount of Spillover. But you wanna get Some
Substance. Not just cheese spilling out. You want SOME OF THE
MEATS OR VEGETABLES. Today? ALL CHEESE AND NOW EVEN GOOD RELATIVELY
HARD CHEESE WE'RE TALKING JUST LIKE LIQUIDY CHEESE. I WASTED MY DAY
BECAUSE OF THIS? That hardly seems fair. Or accurate! This
has nothing to do with Why I Wasted My Day.
The point is PRO: Got to re-watch Thirteen Ghosts, The Tony
Shaloub Vehicle. I dunno I can't get over this, this was PHILLY CHEESE
STEAK Hot Pocket. I want SOME small Pellets of Philadelphia Steak in the
Overflow. Or Flowover. I feel like Flowover SHOULD also be a word
meaning the same thing as Overflow but Dictionary recognizes both. I'll
start a petition about that to somebody once I find out who cares. What
are people's thoughts on Philly Cheese Steak. Hmm just got a STRANGE De
Ja Vu right now. Asking on website, What are people's thoughts on
Philly Cheese Steak." And I was like WAIT I THINK THIS HAPPENED
BEFORE UH OH.
Cool! I wanna know if there's anyone whose REALLY
GOOD at De ja vu. I mean, for most of us, it's several seconds. For
me, I can have it last as long as 15-20 seconds. Are there people out
there who just have HOUR LONG De Ja Vu? And I mean CLINICALLY DE JA VU not
some fake facsimile And It's because he's always one step ahead of
(Behind) himself. The feeling hits, he reacts, he reacts to that, he
reacts to that, the point is This Guy Knows Himself And How He Will React To
This Exact Moment In Time Better than anyone can even imagine! My
My lunch was gonna be BBQ Salmon with some potatoes. Dinner was gonna be
Communal Roast Chicken with, I guess, more potatoes. I'm banking on Still
Doing Chicken but if My Parents want to, "Use the Nuclear Option," and,
"Filibuster," it I can go back to Salmon. Also Roast Chicken should
ideally be in the oven, but because it's warm in the kitchen, and my parents
don't wanna Add To That Warmth my parents want to use the, "Nuclear Option," and
use the microwave. True story! Probably what gave me the instinct to
make that weird Nuclear Option/Filibuster Joke in the first place!
The point is my parents are very cold people and can't stand
any showing or incarnation of Warmth. Hey that kinds sounds like
another true story how about that! Hey I just knocked out 4 paragraphs in
15 minutes or so. I can't wait to knock out one more paragraph Just For
Kicks this time around. Well for Multiple of Fives. Multiples
of Fives give me kicks. You too. That's just how soccer works.
I assume each team has 5 Kick-a-rounders on the field at any given time.
I'll LTURQ! ELEVEN? WHAT THE HELL. THAT MEANS WHEN 5 TEAMS
PLAY EACH OTHER AT ONCE YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO BELIEVE THERE'S 55 PLAYERS ON THE
FIELD AT THE SAME TIME? Anyway, honest idea-- there's none (or very few)
major sports where there's more than 2 teams competing in the same game.
Seems like there should be sports where that could be applied right? Seems
like I'm onto some thing there! Lemme mail it to myself and then never
open it but then open it too soon because I forgot what was in it. The
point is Hey bonus paragraph comin' up.
Well, great. Starting to look like I'm getting
bored of #DickVanDykesSummerToRemember. Also now it's His Possessively.
It's not A Dick Van Dyke Summer to Remember. Now it's DICK VAN
DYKE'S SUMMER TO REMEMBER! The point is when the Hell am I
gonna finish the #StarWarsSummerToRemember. Ya know what I really need to
remember, thuogh? #ReturnOfTheHotSaucesSummerToRemember. The point
is its not funny but it serves a purpose because now I'll never forget!
Until the fall. Or, Autumn. And by then I'll be all tuckered out
from all that hot sauce anyway. I'll be back in a little bit with more
entry. In the mean time, I'm gonna do some bullshit! Non website
bullshit! See ya later!
That's true! Anyway Now its Later In The Day. One might call it,
"evening." Others may call it Later In The Day-- People Like Me-- Try To
Keep Up! Anyway CON: Supermarket Order was a Complete Clunker. We're
talkin they never showed up, we had to call them half a dozen times over the
day, then finally they're like nah we ain't stopping by and we were like
BUT YOU HAVE TO I HAVE A FAMILY T FEED IN FACT I AM A FAMILY TO FEED.
So the point is We MAY have burned all our bridges at Fresh Direct but the
good news is we put together a quick order From Some Other, Lesser Supermarkter
where I CAN'T GET BEER or Meatloaf or Roasted Chicken OR ANYTHING Of What You
Really Want. PRO: Found I can Have a #JurassicParkSummerToRemember on
PeacockTV. Hah Peacock. It's funny because it makes you think.
I like naming Services based on corporate logos. It's like if you called
Music Television MTV. Same basic principle.
PRO: I had the 2nd of 2 Hot Pockets I had for dinner and
doused this one with hot sauce again! AND IT WAS FINE. Pro: Without
beer, but WITH Jurassic Park, and with an early dinner, and WITH Wanna Let Off
Some Steam, I was like alright gonna watch some YOUR ASS IS PARK with the
aid of Popped Corn! So now I got a lot going for me is the point.
Do we go back to Fresh Direct, on our knees, begging to be taken back? Its
an abusive relationship But They Only Got Abusive That One Time! By
abusive I mean WE ARE A FAMILY IN NEED OF SUSTENANCE YOU RUINED OUR CHANCES
OF EATING TODAY and THAT'S NOT COOL. Especially since I I AM THE
CHILD IN THIS SCENARIO in whom the adults in my family Must Take Care Of.
More or less. That's accurate.
The point is its led to me re-examine long held political
beliefs. When George W Bush said He Wanted To Put Food On Our Families
NOW I SUDDENLY GET IT. Also it's led to me re-examing Current
Political Beliefs like ya know what TRUMP IS CAUSING THIS KIND OF
STRESS TO TENS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN MUCH WORSE SHAPE THAN MY FAMILY AND
EVEN MORE LIMITED RESOURCES AND OPTIONS. That's the joke.
Tens of millions of people. DIRECTLY DUE to his incompetence and
dereliction of duty re:Coronavirus. That's not even counting the tens
of millions of people who have otherwise been negatively effected by other crap.
The point is YES I HAVE POPPING CORN FOR A DINNER PART II IF YOU WILL BUT
I'M ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES!
See, yeah, sure, great. Hmm.
Wisconsin. That's like Sinning by whizzing in Spanish. I'll
figure that out one day and why it happened Just Right Now. Oh right looking
at BATTLE GROUND Polls. Also the point is SURE I want to go back on our
knees to Fresh Direct because its my best option for Alcohol but then again FUCK
THOSE GUYS. We called them 4 times throughout the day and kept being told
oh its on its way, it'll be there in an hour. And then by Evening
(Late In The Day) they were just like oh its not being delivered today, we
tried to contact you but you didn't pick up. WHICH WAS LIES A WHOLE
PACK OF LIES DON'T GIVE ME LIES I CAN'T FEED MY Family WITH YOUR LIES NOW CAN I
IF I COULD I'D PROBABLY BE LYING MYSELF BECAUSE YOU. CAN'T. EAT.
LOL I just remembered I can add Hot Sauce to lots of
stuff. It's a real 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Goin to
Rough It Up culinary-ily speaking, back to the basics. So that's fun!
Back in All-Out Quarantine Mode! No fancy Roasted Chickens. No fancy
POTATO SPHERES. No fancy HEARTY BEEF BARLEY. Just REGULAR NON
HEARTY BEEF BARLEY. Hey 5th paragraph of this section. Figure I'll
Pop Into Some Jurassic Park when this is done, and 1/3rd or 1/2 into that, start
up some Popper Corns, finish this entry with another 5 paragraphs, and then
re-evaluate if life is worth living. I'm gonna say YES. I still
have a lot of Good Food Options over the next few days and Hot Sauce Is Good
Again. I'll see ya in a bit!
Some Alone Time
That's true! Old, old titles From Years Ago! Anyway. CON--
Gotta finish the entry. PRO-- Gotta finish the entry! I watched 8.5
minutes of Jurassic Park and was like I CANT RELAX KNOWING THERE'S 10
PARAGRAPHS OUT THERE EPHEMERALLY. The point is I use the word
ephemeral a lot and I'm always about 25-33% off from its accurate definition.
I feel like I'm in the ballpark most of the time but I'm not quite making
contact (baseball reference). Hey first section was actually SIX
paragraphs. Which means I couldn't be held legally responsible if this
section is ONLY four paragraphs. So we'll see how that one turns out and
whatnot. Great, just great. What kinda nonsense is Non Hearty Beef
Barley. Are there unfortunates who are like hmm Beef Barley, ~1.29$ a
can... Hearty Beef Barley, ~1.39% a can... Guess In Order For My Family To Not
Go Hungry Gonn Have To Go Without The Hearty Beef Barley. Lotta slant
rhyme in that. Whoooole lotta slant rhyme. The point is that sentence is
proof I missed my calling as a Battle Rapper.
Gotta assume Battle Rappers are receiving some sort of
stimulus/bail out, right? That's a dangerous occupation! Although I
bet these Battle Rappers are, "Rockin," some real cool, stylish masks.
Most Battle Rappers are black. Black people are often at the forefront of
culture/fashion. Therefore Battle Rappers Know About The Best Masks And
How To Carry Them. Then again it could be a scam. They could be
playing PRERECORDED audio tape of them rapping, and have the Audio cassette in
their mouth, and no one would be the wiser that its a tape and not them rapping.
Can't do that without the mask . Everyone would see the tape! And see your
lips Not Moving Accurately! Alright gonna take a JP break!
I Am So
That sure is a title. Anyway yes I love (Am in love?) with my Pandemic
Routine but today has really shaken my daily schedule up! Didn't start
Entry until Afternoon, mucked around, didn't get lunch, eating Late Popcorn and
Part FOUR? of entry? But the good news is I Am Finally Watching Jurassic
Park As God Intended-- for Me To Watch Jurassic Park. Also sounds kinda
weird to specify As god intended. If you're Pro-God, seems like
you'd think he's all powerful and the ultimate Will in the universe. But
now you're like well God mucks up on occasion, this thing wasn't really Run
By God at all, lets check and make sure if he's okay with it in retrospect!
Yes Popcorn is Delicious but What Am I Supposed to Do About It?
Keep Eating It? You're The Boss!
Everyone loves them some John Hammond. They may not
know it yet, but they do! I think I can tell, trending over long periods
of time, I am slowly but surely getting better at Microwaving Popcorn.
Went through a huge long period of mny life I'd end up burning at LEAST 25% of
popcorn and often more than 50%! And when its that much, all the burnt
pieces get stuck together and its Really Gross! Now? Hardly any
burnt pieces at all. Yes I am better at READING directions and
FOLLOWING directions but I think the Microwave is the MIP Most Improved
Player in this scenario. Anyway what kind of meals do I have coming up
tomorrow. Probably some Non-Decadent Egg Sandwich Meal for breakfast.
Got a Thing of Sushi from Supermarket, only Fresh Thing I Got, gotta have that
tomorrow. A third thing. Maybe involving turkey. When Dr Grant
and Mrs (MS?) Dino-paleontologist are accosted by a kid who was like THAT'S
NOT SCARY LOOKS LIKE A GIANT TURKEY and then Samm O Neil is like what if
I cut your throat Hows That For Scary.
In retrospect I Think Its A Scam that the service is
called Peacock and they're taking about Turkeys and Turkeys are very
similar to Peacocks who Are Roosters Or Something? So, great, what else is
going on. Hey the Mets won Game I of Whatever. I think they should
have reverse playoffs. If you win enough games, you get to stop playing,
take a rest, you've earned it! If you're a loser you're punished by having
to work more. Was originally gonna give that, "Joke," A COVID spin but
hey it works just fine without it. I LIKE THE WAY THIS PARAGRAPH WENT
I WILL GO ONE MORE BONUS PARAGRAPH BUT THAT'S IT.
Sweet! Basically we went into this New Not As Extensive
Super Market Delivery in a rush because we wanted to at least get SOMETIN' for
tonight. And I basically went into the delivery thinking alright this
should last me 3-5 days. But if I have to wait a week, if my parents
were thinking something different, I'm PLUMB out of options! Sure I wrote
something about being Plumb Dumb somewhere a week or two ago, it might have even
been here! If not Hey Great It Showed Up Here Lets Have A Party About It.
This is the paragraph I Changed All My Plans For? Yeah! How
about that! Jeez I knocked this popcorn out of the oven. I'll see
you guys tomorrow.
July 23, 2020
Agree To Disagree
sure is a title. I was just watching this movie called Any Given Sunday
and I was like Too Vague! Surely you wanna narrow it down to Just ONE
Sunday! THAT'S wWUAT Tue PEIOPOLE WNAT! Sure I lost an ability
to type for a dozen seconds IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY@! Anyway, went to
have some blood work today. I'm happy to say I Do Indeed Have Blood.
Eating a bagel with cream cheese right now. I'm happy to say I Do re:
Marrying Bagel With Cream Cheese. I guess in this scenario the Bagel &
Cream Cheese Proposed To Me! Such is life I guess. Anyway, no
drinkin alcohol today! Then tomorrow its back to beer! Everyone's
more comfortable with that.
When Ya'll Eat Community Cream Cheese do you Double Dip with
some sort of Knife or Spork between Spreading Cream Cheese and gettin' it out of
the tub? Also a Spork, a knife is the only thing IT'S NOT! Sure
there SHOULD BE combination Sporks/Knives But Not In My Lifetime!
Speaking of Cheese-- Think 'Em Up from yesterday (and probably half a dozen
times before that). Cheez its crackers. Jesus Crackers. I'm
glad we returned to that joke after 9 months People Demand Jokes They're
Familiar With! The point is Dad is Secret Shaming Me about using too
much cream cheese. Cause I Do use two times as much as him. But I'd
say if you get it at a deli it's THREE TIMES as much as ME. Which is
suddenly SIX TIMES as much as him! Fascinating. It's been a while,
obviously, but I miss getting Bagel With Cream Cheese and/or Butter from Deli,
because they'll stuff 6 Times of My Dad's Cream cheese (which is an official
variable as per the metric system) and the pint is You And Me All WANNA eat
Cream Cheese and/or Butter like a pig and now we have to! And we're like
Well, When In Rome!
Anyway that was a nice early bagel. Had no
breakfast! Had a an appropriately times lunch! Too bad I can't
have a SECOND lunch. Hmm I can have a dinner roll RIGHT NOW.
That'll top off a great lunch with an even greater... well... lets be honest the
dinner role is No Greater Than A Great Lunch. Maybe even NOT AS GREAT
if we're keeping it 100%. The point is Did I Have A Dinner Roll?
Nope! Did I Have An Eggo! YEAH HOW DD You KNOW. ARE YOU ME?
Also when I came down stairs, Fresh from Some Creamed Cheese, turns out I
had some in my NOSTRILS and my Mustache! Whatta scam! Anyway Facial
Cream Cheese is Surely A Scam nobody's arguing that. But there are BIGGER
scams out there. Like Why Isn't It Time For Dinner Yet. I'm hungry
for dinner. You should be able to eat whatever you want whenever you want,
right? Also I'm not 100% buying in the idea that we all have more or less
the same metabolism based on eight and body weight. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A
SCAM! I see people enjoying their food TO THE FULLEST EXTENT
POSSIBLE and Hey They Look Fine! Maybe I need New Peepers.
I WANT TO PROVIDE AS MUCH SUSTENANCE TO ME AND MY FAMILY
WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED FOR THAT. Well, there's under nutrition and
malnutrition. Maybe you're just Punishing Your Family with, "Big MAK,"
after, "Big MAK," then You're THe Worst Father I've Ever Seen! Just
load em up with CARDIO. Load em up with KETO. Anabolic STEROIDS.
YEATS THE POET. SUre I was going for EATS BUT THE Y SHOWED UP
AND WHAT AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO ACKNOWLEDGE, "Yeats The Poet?" Me reading
a Clunker Yeats Poem-- "YEATS? MORE LIKE YEEEEEEESH"
Anyway gotta call DMV to update my Drivers License. I only have so big
a window to get it done Over Phone or Over Online Or Over Phone Lines.
After that It's Too Late Gotta Go In Person. Go In Person? YEAH
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT SINCE I WAS 12 TO NO AVAIL! Well, maybe
a little avail. But that's the exception Not The Rules!
Also, why am I getting a Generic Government ID card at the
DMV. Seems like Nothing To Do With Driving is WAY out of their
jurisdiction. Maybe that's an ICE Scam. They make you show up for
whatever dumb ID you want and it turns out It Was A Trap All Along! And
you know undocumented immigrants GOTTA Get their ID done That's one of their
main concerns! Well cracked that code. Just like how ICE
cracks the code that is innocent protester's bodies. You
know, because of violence? Because they all use violence? Local
police, state police, fedeal police, Supra-federal police? THEY'RE
ALL MONSTERS YOU'D THINK TEHRE'D BE SOMETHING WE COULD DO ABOUT THIS.
There are better titles out there. I was looking at My DVDs and I feel
like there should be a sequel called Me Myself & Irene: Also This Time I'M
ALSO IRENE! Not me. The Me-Myself in the movie! Played by
Cim Jarrey. So the point is I'm back with Beer tomorrow.
Parents were Very Disappointed! in the fact that I finished a 1.75 liter bottle
vodka IN A WEEK! Ad I was like PERFECT NOW YOu'RE OKAY WITH BEER?
HAHAH GOTCHA, "Art Of The Deal! EVER READ IT? Anyway why is that
not a Key Part of TrumpCult. A bunch of people who are Into Art Of The
Steal And They Wished They Could Have Gone To Trump UNiversity If It Was Still
Around and STEAKS WE ALL LIKE STEAKS! I'd like tosee what a Trump steak
tastes like. I'm out of Steak options! The good news if, if
Trump every writes another book (him or a ghost writer) OF COURSE it'll be
called My Struggle. He's really leaning into that title on many
Good Metal Band Name-- Demon Dementia. Also why are
Metal Bands SO angry? Also Why Are Country Stars SO ANgry? Don't
even get me on Anti-Folk Stars SO ANGRY? Anyway I'm on board with the
polls that show Good Guys in the lead but those polls where the baddies have
made some progress on the good guys I dunno who this is for! I'm starting
to Transition from Caring About National Polls & Deep Dive into BattleGround
State polls. How about BattleGround STEAK Polls. I know you
like Donald Trump but you're also the kind of dummy that eats STEAKS like A REAL
MAN and I'm willing to bet dollars to donots you're like Hmm This Steak is
terrible? WHAT? TRUMP STEAK? WELL, IT MUST BE GOOD
THEN! NAILED IT. The point is Yes We Are All Victims of
Gaslighting but Trump's Supporters are the most Gaslit of us all. It's
universal but C'mon lets give Trump SOME credit! I'm Dumb for not
really realizing that until now. You talk about gaslighting and I'm like
YEAH THAT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US and I never think about The REAL Victims.
Which is also us. On account of the OTHER, "victims." The point is
No One Is Responsible For Anything.
Well, great, just great. When having Blood Work
Done, the Young Nurse-In-Training was like How tall are you. ANd I
was like Oh I know what You're After! Doesn't take a genius to see that
an embarrassing personal defect being AIRED OUT in the room by somebody is a
sign of attraction! DEEP Attraction. Then I was like 5'2!
and she aws like okay can I take yuor blood pressure. Then they took my
weight. And I was like OK I'm just saying up front you can take my weight
BUT I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. And that sent her deep affection for me into
HYPER DRIVE. She was like is it okay if I check your Wait Body
Waist Ya Know The TickerTape thing that figures out how bit your gut is.
Which I don't like it! I'd rather have High Weight and Less Circumference.
Prove me wrong!
Hey, great, just great. #AnyGivenSundaySummerToRemember.
Fun Fact-- I wanna play MADDEN 2004 right now. Unless they've actually
made more later versions of MADDEN : THe Football Video Game Franchise.
Then Hey 2014? EVEN BETTER. Surely they stopped at 14! They
do a new one every decade. Only way to make sense of thins. I
like Donald Trumps pitch for a new Sitcom with PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA,
TV. Hey Trump I rememebred that one MINUTES longer than I had to.
SMALL MULTIPLES OF 60 SECONDS. You know, the number you couldn't get
down to if you were counting down from 100 by 5s. Sitcom Synopsis--
Person Woman Man Camera TV. Are Camera and TV part of the plot
or is it just his mind was wandering to Hmm-- how can we translate the
picture (and audio!) into people's, well, there's no easy way to say this-- TVs?
Anyway another paragraph and then another break.
Most likely gonna eat A Double Hot Pocket for dinner IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.
But anyway, I dunno. Idea for Trump's book on his experience at The
APprentecnce-- Me, Myself, and Firing. That was his big thing!
That might be one post-presidency life he does. Yeah presidency was
great but I REALLY just want Cameras and TV. Can't we just let bygones be
bygones. To which I'd reply no got rot in prison for the rest of
you life you piece of CRAP! Too bad I'm not the judge NOR the
jury maybe some sort of stenographer IN THE ABSTRACT in reality So Hey how about
Caricaturist! But then again, I'm no good at sketches at all! Wait, I
shouldn't sell myself short. I'm OKAY at sketches.
better. Anyway the good news is my laptop is overheating and my palms
feel like their in a sauna. You know, a hot house? AN opposite Igloo?
STEAM ROOM? Anyway the other good news is I was putting an order of
Sawdust Dogs with Supermarket, and I was like, iIHMM you know what? I'm
gonna get Hot Dog Buns for ALL my sandwich needs! It's a true story
that needed telling. You know, like the opposite of the Bible?
Started re-watching Full Metal Jacket : The Mathew Modine Vehicle. An by
starting re-watching, I MAY have made it past the opening credits. I
dunno! I like reading polls obsessively because I'm like CMON WHAT;S
YOUR PROBLEM/ THIS 1 in 100 Person Going away from Biden onto Trump WHAT
KINDA DUMBASS ARE YOU. THERE SHOULD BE MS-13 SQUADS TO TRACK YOU DOWN AND
VIOLENTLY PAPERSPRAY YOU AND KILL YOU. Oh wait that's what our
government does. Not the Scariest of The Scariest Gangs. But the
good news is THEY'RE DOING IT FOR OUR OWN PROTECTION. Hey! I make
a interesting point about what fascism is.
What the what. HOT POCKETS FOR DINER TONIGHT YEAH!
I've been exclusively doing it In Oven for years cause I like the HOT CRUSTY
FLAKY CRUST. But my Dad don't want me using over today. Too warm
already! In fact if he was here in my room he wouldn't be on board with my
laptop's motor running a bit too high. IT'll be Our Little Secret
Shame, You And Me! Hmm. What else is going on.
MICROWAVE FOOD? WHAT ARE WE, ANIMALS?! Yeah probably.
Went into the gas station to get my Mom Cigarettes. I'm talkin' a full
2 packs of her 1st choices! Wouldn't sell me moe, presumably because
there's a high demand for cigarettes and he can't sell it all to one person.
In which case why not I'll just buy it all up no one would be the wiser.
I guess he's trying to be that quintessential, "Hometown Hero," that he saves
cigarettes For ANYONE And EVERYONE Who Wants Them. Well, maybe not,
"Everyone." That seems irresponsible. The point is Huh?
Finished re-watching Any Given Sunday but I don't know
why it has to be Any Given Sunday. I guess that's one of the things
nobody will ever know. My favorite State to keep tabs on is Florida (One
of The United States). It's not the ultimate swing vote, it's not the
biggest richest caviar dream. It's just that in 2016 Election Night it was
like CLINTON AHEAD BY 2 POINTS 50% Reporting. AAnd then when Trump
took over Florida Lead, that's when we kinda knew this may not be happening.
So I Basically Wanna Blow That Out Of The Water JUST TO STICK IT TO THEM!
Also Hey also a lot of, "electricianist votes." That's when Joe
Plumber, Larry The Cable Guy, and a few industrious Soccer Moms form a Bloc.
You know, as they say-- As Florida goes, so goes the
nation. Bu which I think they meant Florida is Dragging Us All Down
As A Nation to be just ASSOCIATED (or UNITED-state-wise if you will) We better
cut ties with Florida before there's surely some further degradation we must
suffer because of Florida! I know people make fun of Florida a lot and
I don't like it! FLORIDA, not 'people making fun of Florida'!
The point is sure they have Disney World PRO. They have Disney World Open
BAD. Well its a Thrill Ride alright. You just enter the park you're
already jittery with excitement and anticipation. But instead of getting
on the closest/least line Roller Coaster, you just play the long game, and are
like Ooooh man what if I get COVID WHAT ANOTHER FUN DAY THE
I tried watching Rashoman TRUE STORY AS FAR AS I CAN
TELL but was
too drunk to follow what was happening. I think That's The Plot Of The
Movie? On the other hand I Don't Speak Japanese! I'd like to one
day! I'm movin' to Japan within 10 years Mark It. Then send it to
yourself through the post office and down open it until I'm gone and the message
says Hey If you're reading this I Am Already Japanese. One negative
thing about Japanese is that they have different sex fetishes than I do.
We're WORLDS APART! Oh right. Fullest Metal Jacket Available.
Figure I got 1/3rd committed to memory, 2nd third not as much, 3rd 3rd even
less. But I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. The point is I'm sorry for such
a late entry. Please don't fire me. I'm not even flame retardant or
anything! I'll see ya later.
July 22, 2020
That's great just great. Have roughly 3-4 Drinksworth of Vodka.
0-0 drinkworth of Any Possible Mixture Except for Coffee. Sounds lik a big
risk, right? Anyway I gotta drink this either today or tomorrow. I
choose today! Tomorrow Never knows. Thats a song abuot having
limited number of drinkworths of alcohol and Will You Finish It Today?
Right? Seems like it would be. Wouldn't that be TODAY Never
Knows? Well its accurate Today SHOULD Know but not 100% as well as
Tomorrow Should Know. By tomorrow Today And Everything That Goes Along
With It is DEFINITELY 100% Knowable.
Got some Faux Fast Food for lunch. Dinner maybe finish
some Spaghetti with FROZEN Burrito. We're talking the brand is called,
"Red," or something? I'm gonna have to look into that. Hey I Was
Right! It's Named After Red! From The Redemption of Shawshank. Has
this burrito been rehabilitated. That's just a fancy word Burrito
Sources use to sound more important. Also SURE the title implies The
Shawshank is Being More Redeemed than Andy Dufresense and or other prisoners.
This Prison System in Shawshank is Violent and Corrupt from the Warden On Down!!
They never learn a thing! Which is the first step towards Redemption.
You have to be willing to admit You Need To Redeem For Something Or Something
Almost misspelled Warden as Warren. She'd
be THE TOP Prison Captain if you were able to choose one. She's Warm
BUT SHE EXPECTS A LOT. She enjoys human rights even for prisoners
(supposedly) but She's Not Afraid Of Putting Any Jerks In Their Place.
Right? What was I talking about. Oh, right, probably drink
today. Might as well. Why put off till Tomorrow What You Can Do
Today. Hmm. Can I put of till tomorrow what I CANT do today?
Seems only fair. Like, tomorrow, The Calendar Is One Day Older. No
way I could accomplish that In My Wildest Dreams Today. Unless I stay up
Past Midnight and, let's face it, if you're still awake during the Rollover it's
still Yesterday's Night.
I feel kinda strongly about this! Sort of!
Sure there is a correct way to spell Andy D's Last Name. But I DON'T
KNOW IT! Oh, right. Andy MacDowell. The, "Mac," is silent!
And lets face it She Knows Better Than ALMOST ANYONE ELSE how Staying up at
night past midnight is Still Current Day. Because of movies. Right?
Just because it's a movie doesn't mean you can't learn from it. Groundhog
stuff and whatnot. Huh. Where was I.. Oh, right.
1st Drinksworth of the day-- ~.75 of a drink! Wth 2.25 To Go! Figure
if I stay at !.75s THAT's FOUR DRINKS MAN OH MAN MATH IS PAYING OFF IN
DIVIDENDS. Wait, no. Division. Math is paying off in
Division Ends. DIVID-ENDS? I'd much prefer COVID ENDS!!!
You heard it here first. A dumb joke. Maybe we'll get some more
before the entry is over!
I can always dilute alcohol into water. Or dilute
water into alcohol. Nah even with the same proportions I'd rather
dilute Alcohol INTO Water. I seem like less of a drunkard!
Hmm I'm enjoying this water, I'm just thirsty is all... a little alcohol
couldn't hurt! On the other hand its like I'M DRINKING ALCOHOL VERY
IRRESPONSIBLE WHAT IF I MIX SOME RESPONSIBLE WATER INTO IT.
Anyway, I dunno. Have some Spaghetti left over from last night. Oh
right I told you this, right? To Pair with Robert Redford's Outstanding
Frozen Burritos. It's not Delivery, It's Robert Redford's Outstanding
Frozen Burritos. Sublime had a song called Burritos and I
remember reading Bradley KnowsAllToWell's son says That's His Favorite Sublime
Song. I THINK to play but also maybe as a memory of Dad. Oh Dad
and his burritos. I don't think I'll ever forget how much Dad ate
burritos. Maybe that's where I get my love of burritos from.
point is PPeople without smell/taste can drink lard liquor like it was
nothin'! Also, People who are alcoholics can drink LARD LIQUOR like
it was nothing. Hmm now I Kinda Wanna Try Lard Liquor. AnywayAAnyway
looks like I will have to Leave The House Once More to get bloodwork. The
other point is Hmm what else is going on. Will have finished
Alcohol by the end of the entry! Hmmm just had a Fast Food Hamburger to
pair with a Drinksworth of Vodka and it brought back smoe memories of Being
Drunk In My Head. Cause my taste and smell senses were very acute with the
alcohol. I even had to throw up for a third of a second. Alright
TWO Thirds! The point is What Else Is Going On.
Haven't had A Good Throw Up in like three months! Oh
well its nice to have something to look forward to. And then accomplishing
the thing you were looking forward to. And also what else is going on is
the point. Hmm maybe make some coffee. I like the sound of
that! Coffee is another onamoniapia. That's the sound Coffee
Machines Make CAUUUUUFEEEEE. Prove me wrong. Anyway
Remember That Time I took a break after this paragraph To Make Coffee? And
presumalby didn't start it up again With Coffee? Also Good Sequel for The
Rolling Stones-- Start It Up Again." Presumably a subliminal mention to
express Dona'ld Trumps "It's Our America Again!" Lol. "Dona'ld
Trump." Makes Me Laugh! Anyway. I think All Schools should
open up so that there's no competition becaus everyone else stays home and I
show up to Harvard and am like, sitting in the front row of an empty
Auditorium Classroom, HERE I AM TEACH LETS GO!
Are people gonna study TrumpSpeak as they once taught Latin?
It's a Dead Language (LETS HOPE) but it makes sense and is valuable for Future
People to understand our Nation's Deepest Darkest Moment And Our Secret Shame.
I think Probably Not That'd Be Crazy. But then again who cares. I
mean, kids 30 years from now HAVE to be taught about Trump in some
context. You can only coast on a Yeah that wasn't great but WHAT ELSE
is going on. You need to teach these kids something!!! Lemme know
when he does ONE GOD DAMN THING worth remembering and teaching for our children.
Cause I can't fuckin' think of it! Anyway hey lets make some coffee won't
Anyway. Everyone in my family is a jerk.
Oh well. I guess everyone in everyone's family is a jerk. We're
all at Jerk Herd Immunity! Except children who are born jerks per my
understanding of Christianity. Ned to be baptized to Undo-Kids Natural
Jerkitude. Anyway what's the big fuss over Groundhog's Day. YEs that
is THE DAY Groundhogs make their feelings known re: Weather, but the day itself
is inconsequential! Just be like Oh its a regular day, some groundhog
did something, great, has no impcat on TODAY, may have an impact for next few
weeks! Also there's anothing thing. I always assumed Groundhog
was PREDICTING the next few weeks. Maybe he's CAUSING IT.
Correlation DOES NOT prove causation HOWEVER it implies THERE MIGHT BE
Causation. This HedgeHog knew what he was up to! HE'S KNOWN ALL
Started watching, "Lolita," The Film Everybody Is Against,
and nothing scary happened yet in an hour! This dude is sick That's Kind
of Scary! And Peter Sellers plays MULTIPLE PEOPLE (OR ARE THEY?) That's
Kind Of Scary! Also I legitimately forget if They Are Multiple People Or
Not Or Maybe Partly Multiple People And Partly The Same. I'm leaning one
way But No Spoilers Except for What I Already Said BEYOND what I said no more
spoilers. Anyway. Other 2 HBOMAXERS of Kubrick is 2001: Some Space
Odyssey, and, uh, lemme look that up right quick... I's c\scary because
The DIRECTOr IS DEAD! That'd spook anybody out We're
Dealing With A Ghost's Film! Oh, right. The Fullest Metal Jacket
sure was great. Last section of the entry! Got scammed out of An
Contact Lense yesterday. Thee was a full out Individual Package for my
RIGHT eye and then I open it up and there's some Saline Solution to Keep Contact
Wet With Saline Presumably BUT NO CONTACT LENSE. So naturally I
called up Ghostbusters because I logically assumed A Ghost Did it and its been
over 30 or so hours and NOTHIN! Also is it Ghost Busters or THE
Ghostbusters. Also How In The Hell does Microsoft FrontPage recognize
Ghostbusters as a word. They do realize those movies were works of
fiction, right? There's No Such Thing A Ghostbuster or Ghosbusters as
Plural. Oh, right. Like trying to imagine a Ghostbuster either
saying WE'RE GHOST BUSTERS or WE ARE THE GHOST BUSTERS and
I can't figure it out yet I can imagine either one pretty well. HMM
UPDATE. Ghostbuster is not a word according to Microsoft.
GhostbusterS IS a word. Hey you learn something new every day.
I think the moral of the story is you can get some people
who bust ghosts by their lonesome, but you have to be part of a Team to TRULY BE
GhostbusterS. That's my, "Hot Take." I want some Saltine Solution.
I dunno. I feel like its common knowldge that Sailboat People and whatnot
ae always highly stocked in crackers because they don't go bad. I also
consider it common knowldge with a low supply of Drinking Water you don't wanna
consume excess salt. ANd that's how the practice of Communion started.
Got extra crackers from The Boaters, Might as well help church sell themselves
some Jesus. Also Dick Van Dyke always introduces himself as Rob Petrie
and I Don't Think That's His Real Name. I guess that's one of those inside
jokes. This actor keeps pretending to be someone else On Camera and we all
just act like this is normal? Cracks me up for sure, rigt?
We've got the crackers, you've got the god who needs
to be transmogrified? Well here's a Win/Win if I ever saw one!
Arent people Baptized in pools of water? Now suddenly we're back to square
one! Eating Crackers on Pools of water. Seems like we could ahve
skipped all that fuss and just recognized Sailors Who Eat Lots Of Crackers On
Their Voyages are the only TRUE Christians. Ahhh man checked my E-mail
for the first time today and NO SPAM FROM THE CRACKERJACKER. Cracking
the Jacker is the only way to save his soul. Give that Computer Jacker Some
Cracker So He Can Be A Cracker Jacker!
Great news only two more paragraph! Man I get to
leave the house today. It'll be all like hey I'm outside how about that
looks like Ghost Town which is scary because that movie wasn't that great and I
don't wanna watch it right now maybe later but not now! I'm not 100%
on what Crackerjacks is but I'm relatively certain I have relatively no interest
in it. Anyway gonna finish this entry with 1/2 a drink left or so.
I'm drinking Vodka that's like Jesus Blood, right? Also I get how Red Wine
can be blood. White Wine? Something is VERY wrong with this Jesus
fella I just can't put my finger on it. Also if you're REALLY religious
dip some crackers into wine. Then essentially You Are Eating ALL aspects
of god. Closest you can get to God/Son-of-God before you die, go to
Heaven, and he's like, well I think there's some room for you, why don't you
get acquainted, I'll check up with you later and THEN YOU NEVER SEE HIM
The point at a certain age God Starts Ghosting us. In
real life, in heaven, in Everything! You tink you lost faith but
it's really just God whose like I can't deal with this anymore but what can I
do I can't be like See You In Hell Because it's mean and I won't anyway.
Hopefully she turns into a monster and I don't have to deal with it up Here.
Hey entry is almost over wonderful what else is going on. No alcohol
for another 36 hours or so! Wonderful. Last drink commencing... now.
For some reason I'm more, "Into," winning over Georgia instead of Texas.
They've got HOTLANTA. I think we can all learn a little bit about HOTLANDA
from expanding Georgia to our loose companionship of Populous Blue States.
Hmm my mom's name is linda. Did I just accidentally look at Hotlanda and
momentarily thought it meant Hot Linda? That's for THE COURTS to
decide! I'll see you guys later.
July 21, 2020
What You're Thinking
That's Inaccurate. I don't even know what I'M thinking!
That's More Accurate. Anyway, a couple of, "Save 'Em Ups," frm
earlier in the morning. 1) We gotta be doin Polls Of Children to see
how THEY feel about going back to school. You're being Ageist by only
caring about What Adults Want To Do. Kids are People do they wanna o to
school or not, should be up to THEM. Anyway, 2nd save-em-up-- "I'M NOT
UNEMPLOYED! YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED! THIS WHOLE SYSTEM IS UNEMPLOYED!
That's about where we're at with America, right? Even if you Have A Good
Job, you're more or less unemployed in My Eyes. Like, Government.
Team Trump, Team Republicans, to some Extent FACTIONS of Team Democrats--
abjecating your duty and just Mucking Around? We Might S Well Nominate
Coat Hangers to serve in High Authority Offices! I'm on Team Coat
Hangers WHICH IS A WAY OF SAYING IM PRO ABORTION BUT NOT PRO DOCTORS
PERFORMING IT! Why can't we go back to the good old days
where you can get a Malted and then A Friend With A Coat Hanger takes that.
ITS PART OF OUR HERITAGE!
Sounds about right. Also I don't know The Female
Body that well but Coat Hangers sound painful. Anyway, it's 7/21.
Sounds like Some Multiples of Seven! No it doesn't. Yes it
does. Oh right good point I don't know what Math is. Glad
we settled that one. The point is, THANKS TO MATH, I was able to,
"Calculate," how I can drink today and tomorrow At The Same, "Rate [Math Term]"
but I'd have to skip Thursday Entirely! Well, skip drinking during the
day. I haven't invented a time machine that goes into testing it at Midnight
Wednesday. Probably not! If I did, I still wouldn't tell you.
So there's that to consider Also, "Calculate, "Calculator," "CalcuLUS??"
Why is this brand of math so Fund of Calculations. I'm sure there's an
easy answer out there But I Have No Way Of Knowing It! Calculus is the
thing where you have both an X and a Y to solve for, right? Could be way
off! I only took PRE-Calculus which was arithmetic because THEY NEVER SAID
HOW PRE IT WAS! Damnit That High School Curricula Has Gotten Me
That's fun. Just call everything pre-calculus.
Start off with Multiplcation and Division at PRE PRE PRE PRE PRE Calculus.
Then move up and each time you subtract a, "Pre!" Well I'm Stupid.
God Damn High School Curricula, never even made me Not Stupid! Hey I
figured out what I like about the Super Market, "Spanish 'Yellow' Rice!"
It's very similar to Halal Food Rice! Which is solidly my 4th out of 5
ingredients. normal Halal Cart Platters. First is Lamb, Then it's
Chicken, then it's White Sauce (Also if Health wasn't a factor I MAY LIST THIS
BEFORE THE LAMB AND CHICKEN NO FOOLIN!)) And anyway then
Rice and then Salad (lettuce) if I don't get a chance to say NO SALAD
Which can happen!
Anyway my mind was just wondering talking about Halal Food
and Guns 'n Roses Lyrics came to mind and it was like Something 'bout a warm
safe place where as a child I... wherever it's Sweet Child O Mine but I was
consciously yet unintentionally thinking about Halal Food at the time.
Wait so is Halal Food the Sweet Child Of MINE? Or am I some Sweet
Child who happens to like Halal Food and Gun's n' Roses as singing an Ode to me
and my Halal food. No way of knowing! Well we can Guess.
We can guess No that is not the case. But sure, anything is
possible is teh point! Anyway ON THE OTHER HAND I was talking about Lunch
and I was like Hmm gotta decide between Soup and Rice. Or maybe I
didn't Get Up To The Part Yet. But anyway as much as I like Halal Rice, I
also like adequate canned soup because I Feel Like A MAN and an ADULT going
through the disgusting process of Bowl Plopping. In the end, it's Just THE
RIGHT thing to do! So there's that I guess.
Anyway Drink 'Em If You Gottem. Gottem.
Hmm looks like you're folling and matching my every mo-- JINX.
That'll show 'em, that'll show all of 'em! How about this. SOUP
AND RICE That's IT. No that would never work. What Would People
Say? I dunno! Section of entry is almost over I know that much!
I can have rice and soup nobody can stop me! WELL: FOLLOW UP::: My Mom can
stop me. We spend 120 seconds (~2 minutes) about who would eat Last
Remaining Beef Barley Soup and then I was like ok fine you have it.
And she went back to me with that and I was like look turkey sandwich plays
better with rice than soup I INSIST YOU HAVE IT! And she's like, "It
doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters." The point is if my Mom was
12 year old, hearing that talk, I'd have to take her to a child psychologist.
(A psychologist who treats children. Not A Literal CHILD Psychiatrist.
He'd have no training nor perspective!) One way I know I'm growing up from
the depression I had 20 years ago is 1) well I'm 20 years older and a
completely different person presumably. But also 2) Fuck,
"Nothing Matters." EVERYTHING MATTERS YOU FOOL YOU'RE WAY OFF AS
AS OFF AS SOMEONE CAN BE!
there a compromise where My Mom and I split A Beef Barley soup? Yeah
probably! At first I as like NO WAY even though sh was the one who
suggested it, becuase she only eats 1/2 of a can at a time. But then 5
minutes later I had my way around to JUST HAVE IT ITS OKAY. Meanwhile I
should have been sying, "Just HALF IT ITS OKAY!" So the
So the point is Yeah I'll probably end up Havign Soup What Of It! I dunno
their secret formula for knowing how to splut Soup in half. And water is
50/50 Barley Pellets are 50/50 the odd piece of vegetable and the relatively odd
piece of Savory Beef (THEIR WORDS NOT MINE) is 50/50! I DON'T GET HOW TO
DO THAT. Anyway, I like wearing clothes (ESPECIALLY shirts) and I'm like am I
significantly overweight? You can't tell! My SHIRT is blocking your
view of Stomach It's the perfect crime! While anyone who would
possibly see me in thie shirt is like well this guy is significantly
overweight, I ahve no idea how he thought this shirt was gonna help him.
The moral of the story is I Need Some better Shirts.
Right? Seems like it would be. Looks like we're
maing some Spaghetti AND Meatballs AND tomato Sauce AND I re-upped my supply of
Jalepeno Peppers which I forgot about for a few months And I Can See Adding Some
Jalepeno Peppers into a Spaghetti Dinner. Lol Spaghetti that's a weird
word both in SOUND and ESPECIALLY in Spelling. WHO THE HELL CAME UP
WITH THIS ONE! My guess is Italian People, right? Not
much of a stretch to reach that conclusion. Guess What I was right
with that thing 90% of us could have assumed. Does that include Donald
Trump? I dunno he's a borderline case. HMM SPAGHETTI THAT
COULD HAVE COME FROM ANYWHERE? Also it appears to be spelled that way I'LL
NEVER REMEMBER THAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!
The point is The point is that's another thing I look
forward to. There was Subway Sandwiches, there's Halal Food Carts, and
there's PIZZA ANY PIZZA Just not It's Like Delivery It's
Digiorno. I'm talkin real all and out New York Stizzle Pizza!
My favorite part of drinking coffee is by the time it gets cold, and you take a
sip and 1/2 the time you're like ROOM TEMPERATURE COFFEE THIS IS THE WORST!!
But then there's also SOMETIMES when you're like ROOM TEMPERATURE
COFFEE JUST AS THE DOCTOR ORDERED ITS LIKE COFFEE BUT NOT AS HOT I COULD CHUG
THIS IF I WANTED TO! ALso it's not iced coffee. Very different!
The pintThe point is I fnished watching TWO Kurosawa movies I had seen
before and I did about NONE PERCENT of watching it enough to look up from my
phone and Watch That Closed Captioning Go! I just had a conversation
with my Mom. We WILL Split Soup.
Anyway. My Mom's Got A REAL Problem with Joe
Biden's Campaign Premise "Build Back Better." She is NOT a fan of
alliteration is the point. Me? I could take it or leave it Depending
On The Situation. Meanwhile Kanye's Campaign Promise is Bigger Better
Faster Stronger and it shows HIM DoingStuff. And then his next
Campaign Premise is NO ONE MAN SHOULD AHVE ALL THAT POWER and it goes
between showing Joe Biden AND J Donald Trump. Why shuoldn't Joe Biden
Have All The Power. He knows what he did. The point is
great what else is going on and crap. Figure I'll take a break
after this paragraph, start lunch up, come back for next section of entry!
All it means is I have to write 1 more paragreaph RIGHT NOW.
Remember the time Its Not Dijorno It's Delivery was A
REASONABLE thing to want? I cherish those happy memories. Hmm
only half a soup. Maybe have half a sandwich, too, to even it out.
With the rice. I have lots of good options and that's the best one but
one would imagine I have lot of good options beyond that. #HarryPotterSummerToRemember
sounds like a good idea if I wasn't too drunk to enjoy Child Wizards and
Warlocks. Not so much Warlocks. I don't know what
franchise YOU'RE thinking of but Harry Potter is FULL of Warlocks! I
feel like there was an obscure Nintendo Game Boy game which had to do with
Warlocks. LMLTURQ! It's possible it was an SNES game. Lets
of things are possible! Like Me Getting, "Into," A Story Of Harry Potter &
His Friends, Jason and Tracy.
taste the Faux Halal Food Rice. You know what I'm gonna do when this
entry is over? Watch some more #DickVanDykeSummerToRemember. Mm
taste that 1/2 sandwich and/or Soup. The point is I'm okay with having
1/2 a soup. Also the other point is I'm... uh... I think I was gonna
say was, "I'm okay with having 1/2 a soup." That doesn't work though,
now does it? I feel pretty happy with Slurping Soup Like I figured
out this Great Soup Trick. You suckers are stuck using spoon to spoon
up ALL THE TIME well sometimes ITS VERY INCONTINENT here's a Life Hack...
Life Hack is slurping! It's a victimless crime!
July 20, 2020
guess not. Anyway ANother Day. It's Monday! I feel very
strongly about this. I had my over-the-phone Therapist Call this morning
That's How I Know FUR SURE that it's Monday. Also, I am SO over the
phone. Now I'm into Sega Dreamcast. Hmm that's not how Phones
Progressed. It's not like They Are Phones I like --> being over the
phone Because of Sega Dreamcast. I like those last 5 sentences because
I repeat myself in a Slightly Different Way. Just to drive the point
home! Also when You're playing Crazy Taxi or The Simpsons Version
of Crazy Taxi on Sega Dreamcast you MAY HAVE TO drive someone/thing home.
Those games are like the part in Grand Theft Auto where you
can steal a cab and Then Just Be A Cabdriver. Except This Time ARound
that's ALL you can do in Video Game. I am SO over Crazy Taxi now I'm
into Running Over Prostitutes. No I'm not. I'm not, "On Board,"
with that Even A Little Bit! Also I don't like the politics of The Lincoln
Project even just one bit on account of it should be called Project
Lincoln and and its about time travelers who went to Gettysburg
Address and they were like LINCOLN YOU GOTTA PROJECT YOUR VOICE! NO
ONE CAN HEAR YOUR WONDERFUL ADDRESS. Come up WITH THAT ONE if
you're so great!
Anyway, what else is going on. The point is I Totally
Forgot I had Doctor Appointment Over Phone this morning. Was woken up by
phone ringing. By which I mean I Chose A Very Progressive Ring Tone and it
taught me how to be, "Woke-n Up," so to speak. Anyway lookin' like maybe
Grileld Chicken Sandwich on Whatever Kind Of Bread We Have and either Beefed
Barleycorn Soup Or with Rice. Anyway is Soup an onamanonapia. Hey
look at that mess what kind of sound would it make If Soup Had A Sound.
And the sound is SOOOOUUPP. I have no idea what that
means But It FEELS Right. Also No Universally Recognized Spelling of
That Word. I feel like I made a valiant effort spending 120 seconds
checking internet after Micriosfot FrontPage proved no help. And INTERNET
has various spellings! I took one of the main ones and adjusted it a
little bit, put my own spin on it, I feel comfortable acknowledingg Throwing A
Spelling Into The Right may be my greatest contribution to The English Language.
I like how in Bowling Balls all Pro Bowlers do the thing
where they bowl it To One Side and then it Curves back around and it's called,
ENGLISH. I mean, that exists outside of bowling. This is just
one scenerio. But the point is HOW DARE YOU I ASSUME IT STARTED AS A
SLANDER AGAINST THE ENGLISH. Hey watch out for Them English boy
they're really curvy you think they're going One Way and then they SWITCH UP and
go the other way. God Damn ENGLISH! Fascinating.
How's Kanye West's campaign going. Maybe he should team up with The
Lincoln Project to be a 3rd party candidate because they share similar political
views and values. Sounds like an insult. I can't put my finger on
it BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE AN INSULT. The point is The Lincoln
Project is no different from Kanye West but because they put out Ads attacking
Trump I'm Just Supposed To Listen To Them Rapping? No THANKS! The point is
I could freestyle rap better than, I dunno, NINETY PERCENT OF THE POPULATION?
Man oh man I'll, "Rap Battle," you Lincoln Projecters ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
Great, just great. What else is crappening. I'm
no good at Freestyle Raping. I'm always trying to think of The NEXT Line
instead of trying to think of The FIRST and CURRENT Line. Which basically
means Hmm This CURRENT line makes no sense and we'd be lucky if it even
Rhymes On Time. Such is life! I think Lincoln Project is
trying to capitalize on the success of Hamilton: The Musical Thing. Sure I
know Lincoln didn't show up until 80 years later I KNOW A LOT OF THINGS.
Been drinking a fair share of Just Vodka. I'm down to 1/2 a bottle of
orange soda and 1/2 a bottle of Orange Juice! Gotta make it last until
Friday. The point is Huh I Forget Hey It's Early For An Entry Based On The
Last Few Weeks On Account of Being Over The Phone.
It doesn't. I was gonna talk more about Lunch but I decided against it
because I was like, I think I already talked about Lunch to the extent
necessary. Something along those lines. I wonder what
Horrific Movies I could watch on HBOMA X. Probably BOTH the Hostels.
That's aobut it. I don't get why it's called Hostel. The
crux of the Horrific Stuff & Creepiness goes on BEYOND the Hostel. The
teenagers go to this Hostel and THEN go Some OTHER PLACE to be tortured and/or
killed. You're implying its THE HOSTEL'S FAULT!!! And MAYBE it is,
they might be in cahoots with the Bad People, but we've seen no solid 100%
concrete evidence of such a thing. Hostels are innocent until proven
guilty! The point is if I ever went to Europe I'd wanna go to England.
Becaue there's no langauge barrier. Hmm. Really makes ya thing.
Think About Me Being Traveler Lazy.
I dunno. Lunch'll be comin' up Circa Next Section
Of Entry. Here's another Movie I Have that I may NEVER have watched--
Dont' Say A Word. It's funny because the star is dead now and will
never say a word again We HOPE. Also she was friends with Rap Battler so
it all comes full circle! We should stay home, because of pandemic, you
wanna start rappin'? well I'm Gonna End It! And then immediately file
paperwork with Rap Battle MC to SHUT DOWN THIS OPERATION before this guy even
gets a chance! Anyway Lin Manuel Miranda has got to be like hmm I was
gonna write a sequel about Lincoln BUT THEY ALREADY COPYRIGHTED WHAT I WOULD
CALL IT IN MY NOTES BEFORE AN OFFICIAL TITLE IS CHOSEN. Anyway.
Whatever happened to that idea I had about a Musical Comedy taking place in
Mental Hospital. Decided it was too hard to write. Oh Good
Point That Makes Sense.
Soup or Rice. Hmm. Gonna be honest I'm leaning
towards Soup. Also the amount of rice I got is 2 portions worth (even
accounting for it Only Being A Side) and my Dad was interested in it so now I
can have Disgusting Soup and he can have Delicious Rice. Started back up
on Phone Twitter. Now I get to keep track of Alllll The Nate Silvers.
Also, "Lincoln Project," is gaslighting. Yes they are better Republicans
than Trump and his cohorts and lackeys. But there wayyyy off from being
Lincolns. C'mon. No Gaslighting Please! It's dangerous for
some reason no one is really sure of. Oh, right, it'll blow up your
house. Or maybe that's Light Gassing. The point is It's No Es
My favorite thing when they use polls on FiveThirtyEight is
when they Rank The Pollsters Themselves in terms of how reliable or accurate or
whatever they are. And when I see a poll where the pollster is rated at,
"A-," or better, I'm like WOAH THIS POLLSTER IS GONNA KNOCK THIS POLL OUT OF
THE PARK! Also Biden's been stuck at 8.8% lead over Trump for over a
day and yesterday some A+ Polls had him doing Considerably Better Than That so I
just have to assume they were TOO accurate polls, that including them into the
algorithm was Just Not Fair. Would make all the other polls feel bad!
And besides, if we knew Polls were that accurate, what would the point be of
having an election at all? So basically I'm Pro-Democracy that's all
How come we never Take Fun Polls. Honest Great Idea--
form a company that's exactly like Pollster Companies but for Fun Things not
Politics. I'd continue on this riff but I Don't Really Want To!
I mean A+ Polls c'mon that's knocking some polling out of the park! I
demand those polls be represented in Algorithm. And, if they are? I
demand them being represented in Algorithm EVEN MORE! Wait what was I
talking about. I forget. Oh, right Algorithm EVEN MORE!
Now if only I could find out what that 2nd half of a second was a reference to
I'd be on Cloud Nine! Also Coud Nine what's that all about.
What's wrong with Clouds 1-8. Or, for that matter, 10 and on.
I'm gonna be honest, Phrases Be Damned, I'd prefer ANY single digit cloud
over Cloud Nine! A nice Cloud Five. That's the sweet spot!
Ended up having last
1/3rd of Its Digiorno It's Digiorno for lunch! Got an abundance of
options of Things To Watch When This Is over. You know, like Whose Line Is
It Anyway: Americana Version? THat settles that. LOL LOL I
Get It its Pizza and it tastes good! Welcome to my life. I've
had it UP TO HERE with the Lincoln Project. Center-Left Media over and
over again shit on Bernie Sanders who had popular ideas and support, and then
cream themselves over Lincoln Project, who hav NO popular Democratic Ideas or
support! I'm not surprised. I just thinks it's Extremely
Hey that's great just great. The good news about having
Pizza For Lunch (other than having Pizza for lunch!) is that I get A DIFFERENT
Meal for dinner! Maybe this time around Grilled Chicken and Soup.
Also, Project Lincoln? Yeah Their Ads are OKAY! They're not The
Second Coming Of Shakespeare! They're Just Fine! And also based on
Cartoons I'm underthe impression mot of the money they raise Just Goes Directly
To The Head Guys. And if A Carton Said it ITS PROBABLY TRUE NO FOOLIN!
The bad news is just finished mny Its Digiorno It's Digiorno. I
couldn't have pizza again tonight Even If I wanted To! Closest Thing I
could come up with was Hot Pockets: Philly Cheese Steak Maybe? Definitely
Some Flavor With Some Cheese And Probably Meat.
Yeah! The point is HBOMax has a ton of stuff I can wait
to watch til I Have Marijuana to Assist Me Watching It. Gotta figure
that'll happen soon? Biden gotta make Legalized Marijuana as part of his
Campaign Premise. People support it, it's good for people healthwise,
it'll get votes because people support it... the point is I'm a single issue
voter and that single issue is whether I get to absentee vote AND they also
decide to COUNT my absentee vote but also If My Vote Could Accomplish ANYTHING
It Might As Well be Me Being Able To Smoke Marijuana. That's MY Hot
Take on politics! I think I haven't ENJOYED marijuana since 2008.
I've tried it in 09-011, but it just made me feel worse. But one would
imagine I'm able to Feel Good About it again. I imagine it! And I
Actually, I dunno how I got it, probably found it lying on
the sidewalk (TRUE STORY! THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT!)
in 2014 and I was like Hmm better smoke this and it was 1/4th
pleasurable and 3/4ths Uncomfortable but the point is PROGRESS! The pint
is SURE I wish I had more Pizza But It's Just Not In The Cards As Of Now!
Dinner ain't for anouth 4 hours or so WTF. The point is I'd be
relatively lucky to have Orang Juice and Orange Soda last me through tomorrow
night! I can't drink Vodka Straight What Am I HERCULES: The God Of
Thunder? Probably not that is an amalgamation of 2 different People.
But maybe it's just the right amalgamation that describes Me And What I'm
The pint is Sleepy Donald Trump is a great, "Clap Back."
Like I said yesterday He ALWAYS looks like he wants to take a nap. Which isn't a
popular position! People are always like this dude is on uppers.
Maybe he is! But more importantly, we can see Moment to Moment WHY HE
FEELS Like Abusing Uppers! Because Boy Oh Boy does this guy want to take a
nap! Jeez. What else is going on and crap. I'm gonna be
honest-- It's Hard To Imagine Trump Sleeping AT ALL. I know he wants
to. But if it's 3 AM you don't immediately go Trump Must Be Asleep
Now! you go Trump must be watching Fox News Right Now And Starting To Put
Together Next Day's ShitStorm Of Tweets. Because he's a SICK SICK
Wonderful. I dunno if Fox News is broadcasting at
3:00 AM. Lets just say The Fox News In His Head is
broadcasting. Sounds about right. The bad news is I'm Plumb
Out Of Frozen Pizza until Friday. Also I as thinging about the word
Plumb over the last week or so and I FINALLY GOT TO USE IT! It's a fun
word. That's MY hot take. Also I'm RELATIVELY sure that Trump Is The
Real World Lone Ranger and that's why when you see him without his Eye-Mask its
a different color than the rest of his face. He soaks up the sun for 90%
of his face, while wearing his Zorro Mask, and then when he takes off his Zorro
Mask it looks weird. Although I would never say that to his face.
You don't wanna upset Fake Old Man Zorro! Well, I do. It
would make me feel good. But I won't! Because it's just plain rude!
Hah. PLUMB. makes me laugh! Anyway
last paragraph of the entry. Just had a slice of Turkey. And ys know
what? I'm on board with Slices Of Turkey! I like to fantasize abbot
a Post-Pandemic Future wehre we can go to Disney World and I HAVE A FAMILY and
I'm like HEY EVERYONE We'er GOING TO DISNEY WORLD! And my kids are like I
REMEMBER READING ABOUT SOME SORT OF PANDEMIC ARE YOU SURE ITS SAFE? And
I'm like BEING SURE NEVER GOT NO ONE ANYWHERE. I SAY LETS GO AND THAT'S
THE BOTTOM LINE CAUSE STONE COLD SAYS SO! Now you know what Me Being a
Father May Or May Not Be Like! Best you find out now. Anyway,
what else is going on. Maybe its weird or maybe its completely normal, but
as a man, I sorta think I Can Be A Most Effective Father based on copying 2/3rds
my Father and 1/3rds of My Mother. Everyone needs a Occasionally Mother
Father! Especially based on my Father Mothers! It's for the best is
Last paragraph1 Fascinating. I mean, look, I'm,
"The Man Of The House." I am unequivocally The Father. I'm just
saying I'd adjust some of the parenting I got from Mother and Father Into One
for my own kids. Makes sense to me! Like keeping Frozen Pizza
stocked in the freezer to an absurd amount. So absurd it should have its
own Frozen Pizza Freezer it's the only way to go! I don't get the premise
of the title Whose Line Is It Anyway. It's anyone's line!
That's what Improv Is! C'mon Drew Carey GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
Speaking of Drew Carey-- Cleveland Rocks? I dunno I'm gonna have
to see a second opinion. That's MY hot take on Home Cities From Drew
Carey! Anyway, hey, great, another entry in the books! I'll se you
July 19, 2020
sorry that I wrote these Titles for This Entry last night. That's what
I've been doing lately! You may have noticed Titles Have Been Great the
last week or two and now you know why! I like Titles that are common
phrases that show up Here Or There that are ambiguous in meaning and context.
Prove Me Wrong! I feel Yesterday's Titles works well, though, because when
I sleep I get to Dream of all the ways I can put these titles to work!
This isn't what I dreamt! My main dream last night was Doing Alcohol
Math. Okay I drank this much (looking at bottle of vodka) over 2 days,
I get to do 2 more of that plus 1/2 to last me a week... seems like I can do
that at the same pace. Also the Pace has been Not Great! Too
Much! But, I dunno, whatever.
Looking forward to some BBQ Salmon & Spanish, "Yellow," Rice.
That's exactly how they described it on the FrenchDirect packaging.
Spanish, "Yellow," Rice. Look either it's Spanish Or Yellow.
Pick a lane! I'd err on Yellow, I don't think FrenchDirect is importing
this relatively cheap rice from Spain directly. Then again, maybe It's Not
Really Yellow. In which case Spanish may be a more accurate
adjective. The point is I ate a small cold clump with my fingers (well
with my mouth. My fingers helped me get it into my mouth) and it tasted
great! Even cold! What's going on in the wide world of wide worlds.
I get a lot of e-mails from Pizza Hut. Probably trying to get my attention
so they could solicit me to come up with a Campaign Promise for them.
It's Not Digornio It's Delivery. That's a freebee! You can have
Ten More JUST LIKE THAT for a low low fee! Sure you can pay me in pizza
but IT BETTER BE A LOT OF PIZZA!
That's a deal breaker! That reminds me I'm supposed
to watch 30 Rock 1 Episode Reboot. I'll do that at some point one would imagine.
That reminds me what else is going on. That Lucc Benson guy is a French
Direct...'r. Hey I was pretty close with That Name and also Him Being
French. Luc Besson. Three cheers for me! Anyway I'm gonna
knock some lunch out of the park in 1 or 2 hours. Why is Knocking Balls
Out Of The Park a good thing? Great. Now we're Down a Baseball.
It's like that Sci-Fi movie The Sandlot but it's Actually Coming True
In The Real World! Hey I was right There Is A Movie The Sandlot
and there is a plot point where they lose a baseball from it being Hit Out The
Park. The point is I Know ALL The References That I Know.
Two Cheers For Me!
Well, great, what else. I saw a video of John Lewis
dancing (BEFORE death) and don't that beat all. Such a serious solemn man
(PRESUMABLY) but he knows how to cut loose, too! Adjusting Daily Calorie
Guidelines with the addition of Alcohol to the equation. Someting along
those lines, right? The point is if I've learned anything from New York,
no-reason-mail-in-ballots are all well and good but if the people counting them
Throw Out 15-25% of them Well That's Pretty Fuckin' Rigged on its own! And
that happened in NEW YORK CIZZY. Maybe all of New York Stizzate I DON'T
HAVE ALL THE DETAILS. Sure I'm proud of myself for coming up with New
York Cizzy and New York Stizzate. Who wouldn't be proud of that. One
cheer for me!
Cool. Idea for 80's rap song-- Hip Hop Hooray!
Now all wee need is Time Machine. HOLY MOLEY Gremlins II: The New Batch is
available on Hobo Max. And so is Gremlins I: A New Hope, as well!
That Last Sentence Is Brought To You By The Fact Of Me Thinking Of It Last Night
After Entry. Everyone's Get Alodda This GREMLINS I: A NEW HOPE.
Everyone's gonna love this! Anyway, I dunno what's going on anymore.
Gremlins, in all honesty, were a pretty revolutionary movie. Obviously
they were one of the movies that made them start the PG-13 rating. Which
in and of itself is revolutionary. But also just the premise Has No Basis
in anything before. Cute monsters that multiply if you get them wet,
that turn into evil monsters if they eat after midnight... sunlight kills 'em...
We can look back at the entire English Canon and there was NEVER Gremlins At All
until the 1980's!
sure. Anyway, I was thinking about how there's a large group of people
who, like me, obsess over calories and weight and everything, and when Pandemic
started, we were like well this is bad might as well loosen up on diet to
stay sane and relieve stress. But the point is at what point are we
like OKAY NOW I'M EXTREMELY OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE THIS NEVER FUCKIN' ENDS.
There must be a time period where we're like, maybe anytime this summer or fall,
we're like ok I've gotten used to this indulgent lifestyle but I can't be on
board with being THAT morbidly obese. Also sure I'm a guy who obsesses
over calories. I LIKE MATH. I just told you I obsessed in My Sleep
about Vodka Supplies for the next week!
Anyway I also had an interesting dream where, I dunno which
came first, the dream or the real thing, but what happened was I dropped a roll
of toilet paper in the toilet. I told you about how I don't screw it on to
Rolly Thing, I just leave it up right on sink. SO anyway This Happened
TWICE. With only one possible roll of toilet paper. Either it
happened in real life and then I dreamt about it, or I dreamt about it and then
it happened in real life. No way of knowing! No way of caring!
This is nothing at all! But anyway this 1 roll of toilet paper is
ruined! Once paper goes wet, it never goes... back... wet/back, I could
make that rhyme, JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE! Uh-oh wetback that's a slur.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I'M SO SORRY! Once Paper Goes Wet, What Do You
Expect. Useless to you know! Might as well throw it away Twice but
Once was In Dreams.
Ugh. What else is going on and crap. OMG OSMOSIS
JONES IS AVAILABLE ON HBOMAX I THOUGHT THEY BURNED THE REEL TO THAT MOVIE SO
IT CUOLD NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN! I'm just joking I'LL WATCH IT AGAIN
MYSELF! It's got an Animated Chris Rock (Chris Rock is Often Animated If
You Know What I Mean [animated personality] but this time around He's A
Cartoon!) as well as... hmm. Rotten Tomatoes has Osmosis Jonze at 55%.
I just kinda assumed, I must have picked it up somewhere, that this movie was A
Joke and universally looked down upon. SORRY. I probably saw
it between 3-6 times and based on memory Fine It's Fine Just Fine But I Can
Sorta See What What Turns Out To Be Imaginary People Think When They Think It's
Also on The Dick Van Dyke Hour there was a
plot point where one of the guys is mocking Dick Van Dyke's show within the show
and is like that was a real Clinker. And they use that word half a
dozen times in the episode. I presume that Clinker --> Clunker.
Funny how the English language works over time, right? I think I picked up
Clunker from Jimmy Pardo Podcast. So either he's the only person who
says Clunker instead of clinker (maybe it started out as a joke and then he just
kept it? That's One Way To Go!) or maybe Yeah Legitimately All Of Society
Made The Switch From Clinker --> Clunker sometime in the mid 1980's. No
way of knowing without TIME MACHINE.
I dunno. The point is I'm Kinda Pot Committed To
Being Unhealthy during Pandemic Quarantine so if I have to become obese I guess
I just have to become obese! This is the life we chose. HEY,
YOUNG ROGER EBERT? THIS IS YOUR COUSIN BARRY. YOU KNOW THAT WORD
YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR TO DESCRIBE A, "BUST," IN FILM OR TV? GET A LOAD
OF THIS! Finally A Joke. I was beginning to think I'd Never
Achieve A Joke! What else is going on and crap. Anyway Legit
SummerToRemember Franchises made available on HBO Max-- Harry Potter, Nightmare
on Elm Street! Anyway the 3 Kubrick films they have are 2001, Full Metal
Jacket, and Lolita. 2 of which I couldn't watch, and 1 of which is kinda
mediocre for a Kuberichard. Which one's which!
Three Card Monte time. You think you know which is the mediocre one BUT
YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I was thinking Full Metal Jacket. Like I
said YOU HAVE NO... oh wait You Got It Well Done. I remember
thinking 1/3rd is great last 2/3rds are bogus as a kid. PROVE ME AS
A KID WRONG. It's possible I got that perspective from reading a
Post Pubescent Roger Ebert Review. I Like Roger Ebert!
What That Means
I'll watch 2001 For The First Time. Sure I'll watch Lolita. It's not
as disturbing as I found the novel! We read it in Juinor Year?
ANd didn't find disturbing until Several Years Later? I matured as
an Audience To Books GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT. Thep oint is SURE if I had
to pick 3 Kubrick movies I had no interest in THESE'D BE THE THREE but beggars
can't chewers. I like that B-b-b-b-bird bird is the word song that
is a Plot Point in Full Metal Jacket. I may have said this before but I
always interpreted Full Metal Jacket as a Description of The Movie In Sequences.
1/3rd in Marine Training is Full, 2nd third is in Vietnam War and is
Metal, and 3rd 3rd is There's A Shoot Out Or Something I Don't Have All The
Details But Anyway is Jacket. Looking back THAT MEANS NOTHING
but but at the time I was like OH MAN CRACKED THE CODE. JACKED
IT REAL GOOD.
I wonder what a Joseph Biden presidency would be like.
First things first, we'd have to deal with President Biden did This Or
Something I Dunno I Don't Have All The Details He's, "President Biden," Now,
Though, That's The Point I'm Trying To Get Across. That was a Direct
Future Quote from The New York Times. I think Trump would be more popular
if Trump Steaks was Trump Stakes and he was a pedophile vampire hunter. Ya
know, like what 1/3rd of his supporters already believe? Also he's a
Hunter of Pedophiliac Vampires. He's not a vampire hunter who is a
pedophile. Well, as far as we know. The science is still out on that
one that we don't know for sure completely. That's not a joke he could
easily have had sex with teenagers as a full grown adult. But that's
probably FIFTEEN AT THE YOUNGEST C'MON GIVE THE GUY A BREAK. The point
is if Trump is guilty of it, 3/4ths of his supporters WOULD be like CMON 15
YEARS OLD GIVE HIM A BREAK I BET SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT MORE OR LESS.
AND IF NOT SHE PROBABLY STILL ENJOYED IT. I KNOW I'D BE INTO TRUMP IF ...uhh
just grossed myself out Not Even Finishing That Sentence.
Fascinating. The good news is I learned about
Foreign Languages from Full Metal Jacket. Sucky Sucky Five Dollars
means I would like to exchange oral sex with you for roughly five dollars
more or less. The point is YES there's a REAL CHANCE I will watch
Osmosis Jones when this is over. I wouldn't lie to you, I'd have no
motive! Anyway instead of having a late lunch I'ma have an early dinner!
Prove me wrong! You'll find that Proof Of Wrongness is futile you might as
well give up immediately before you ever even really started! THAT'S
NOT FAIR TO TRUMP. HE ONLY HITS ON 15 YEAR OLDS IN HIS OWN FAMILY.
Well ya got me there. Except for how Yes He Hits On His Own Family But
Also Other 15 Year Olds. Now I got YOU there!
Hmm. I think Trump is having trouble smearing Biden
because everything he tries on Biden, He's Even More Guilty Of. Mental
acuity. Creepiness. Being, "Crazy," or, "Corrupt," or, "Sleepy..."
We don't really talk about Trump's sleepiness but half the time it looks like He
REALLY Wants To Take A Nap. Which I don't blame him for-- If I was Trump I
also would want to lose consciousness, too! Hell, I'm ME and I STILL
wanna lose consciousness. Sounds like fun! The point is I've
Lost Some Enthusiasm for #SummerDickVanDykeToRemember, but I'm almost done
with them anyway, so we'll jut let that play out for another week or so.
The point is I just finished Last FrenchDirect Croissant instead of a Real Lunch
and Man Oh Man was it great and also Man Oh Man I ain't makin' that mistake of
Bringing Croissants into my home again!
Jeez. I'm not a fan of how HBOMax doesn't have Jurassic
Park-Worlds I can bingewatch. I'm not a fan of lots of things!
That's just one of DOZENS of things I'm explicitly not a fan of. Oh
right I get to choose between Osmosis Jones and Gremlins II: The Empire Strikes
Back. Or, I dunno, the point is I got lots of options. Point is
entry is just about over. Got some Cheez Its to snack on IF NECESSARY.
Got some Popcorn to snack on AT A FUTURE DATE WHERE I CAN SHARE IT WITH FAMILY.
I think I had a dream two or three nights ago they made a Guardians Of The
Galaxy III. Well, not so much a Dream that they made it. A
dream that I was WATCHING it. Which, logically speakingg would mean
someone (Or SOMETHING) made it, but the point was I Was Watching It.
Anyway, I'll see ya later. Tomorrow, probably. Gotta pretty good
track record of Seeing You Tomorrow Based on The entries of Today In General.
July 18, 2020
Have To Do
starting to worry how I never got any Follow Up Threat from the person/entity
who hacked me. C'mon I thought I had made a Pen Pal! I mean,
that's the most Information Specifically For Me E-mail I've gotten in years!
This guy knew stuff about me NO ONE KNOWS. I like an entity that does
its homework. Anyway I'm really, "Into," this Roast Beef I got from
Market: The Super One. I'm also, "Into," what else is going on. I like how
in Dick Van Dykes openings they alternate between Dick Van Dyke Tripping On An
Ottoman and Dick Van Dyke Almost Tripping On An Ottoman And Stopping Himself
Just In Time. I think its clever, real clever, that show has done its
Right? Probably! How's Generic Congress
Poll Going. Dems up 8.3%! Over Republicans. They're up
Even More over other political parties. Hey Dem Dems up 8.3%!
It's funny because it's clever and its done its homework. Hey it turns
out I HAVE HBO TO THE MAX! Started Re-watching SEVEN SAMURAI: THE
ENSEMBLE MOTION PICTURE. I like it because you have to read subtitles so
its the cultural equivalent of reading a book! But with less effort!
Instead of your eyesight being totally engulfed in words, You Get To Look At
Motion Pictures (And Audio!) and only have to Read ONE PHRASE AT A TIME.
I like having my reading parceled out for me! They've done their homework!
Also might as well make the most of the situation where
There's Not Much To Do On My Phone For Now while the movie is going. Might
as well get to those movies I Really Should Be Reading And Not On My Phone For.
Yeah! Exactly what is the market for Novelizations of movies.
Hey that movie was great LETS READ IT AGAIN BUT LESS GOOD. Maybe its
for The Deaf. Hey I went to see this movie IN THEATERS WHERE CLOSED
CAPTIONING WAS NOT AN OPTION and I have no idea what was said because ALSO I
CAN'T READ LIPS YOU'D THINK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO BUT I NEVER DONE MY HOMEWORK
so basically I have to Read Novelizations of movies right I forget whats going
Sounds about right. Went overboard with the
drinking last night. A solid TWO drinks more than I wanted. But on
the other hand whose gonna stop me YOU? Right? We had some
Uncorked Bottle Of Wine for years and I wake up this morning and my Dad is
trying to Un-cork it for my Mom. So the point is I'm A Great Influence On
My Parents. Anyway, The Deaf have absolutely no way of enjoying Radio and
Podcasts. No options! Maybe someone's transcribing Classic Radio and
Podcasts but you certainly can't find a transcription of EVERY radio EVERY day!
Certainly! Certainly not, I mean. The point is I've Done
Sounds about right! Anyway hey after this paragraph I
get to take a break! Also this section of entry Totally Without Alcohol!
Good for me. I think I'll reward myself for my exceptional self control By
Having Some ALcohol. It's the only Logical thing to do! The point is I
could probably risk logging back into twitter and e-mail on my phone. I
bet the Hacking Perpetrator is Long Gone he saw I put my foot down by not
responding to him and he's moved onto greener pastures. Anyway.
Meatloaf Dinner is Tonight not last night. Lunch today is probably some
sandwich and soup. These are the important issues of the day! Oh
also Crazy Unknown Police rounding up presumed-graffitiers in Portland.
I'd have more to say on this story but I'm not sure if, Yes Most Likely,
Portland Oregon, but MAYBE Portland Maine? Which Portland heavily effects
how we should think about this scenario. Portland Oregon? They
probably had it coming. Portland, MAINE? I WON'T
STAND FOR THIS SECRET POLICE ROUNDING UP MAINE CIVILIANS AND KILLING THEM
PRESUMABLY OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ELSE REALLY BAD. Not in MAINE do
we tolerate this no siree! In Oregon, yeah! Maybe California.
It depends on WHAT PART. AND NOWHERE ELSE!
One Way To Find Out
a "Save em up," I wrote last night (while inebriated)-- "Reservation
For Seven? The Samurai Party?" One day I hope to find out what
that means. My favorite Samurai is That Guy Whose A Jerk And Is The Comic
Relief. My second favorite Samurai is the Great Head Samurai whose in many
a Kurosawa film. My third favorite samurai is his apprentice.
Who may not count as an official one of the Seven Samurai. Those are all
of my favorite samurais! Watched that Andy Sandberg/Palm Springs vehicle.
Part of it was a vehicle for Andy Sandberg and Part of it was a vehicle for Palm
Springs. Sure there was a Female Lead. I don't know her name!
I looked it up BUT I FORGOT. Oh, right. I still
Got some Roast Beef Sandwich and Hearty Savory Beef Barley With Vegetable
Soup. The point is I dunno about you but I'm missing Great Sandwiches.
There's only so many ingredients to a Great Sandwich I can buy! I think I
did this riff before. About how mny biggest fantasy is a Subway Sandwich
because I lack imagination. Anyway, I dunno, lets move on. The point
is, with HBOMax, I can ACTUALLY HAVE an #HarryPotterSummerToSummer. Uh
oh I'm actually starting to get deep into Summer, only so many things I can Do
With The Summer! 1/3rd into it and I've already accomplished 2.5
Summers. 1 Full Marvel and Parts Of Star Wars. and Dick Van Dykes.
This is one summer that I'LL NEVER FORGET.
I know each passing franchise assumes its own Hashtag, but
all in all, it is and always will be A #MarvelSummerToRemember. Oh, right.
Also #PandemicQuarantineToRemember. My favorite part of Pandemic
Quarantine is how, at any moment, we can start taking Addressing It seriously
in Ways We Know How And That Work, and have our lives back to 75% normal in 4-8
weeks. We should have done it sooner! We can do it now!
WE'RE NOT! Sounds about right. Oh well what can I
do. I can barely watch movies with subtitles. I'M LOOKING AT
JACKED TWITTER. Also I accidentally said I was jacked or something
an entry or two ago instead of hacked, but I liked it so much, I'm gonna say it
on purpose from now on! Sounds about right. An old song of mine was
called Cracks and part of the premise when I was putting it together was
like Oh its a pun for Cracks. Like when someone cracks
into your computer. I still stand by the premise that Cracking
is SORT of like Hacking. You cracked the code. The code that should
have kept you out of my computer. You cracked it by hacking it and now I'm
insisting that you're jacking it!
Wonderful. 2.5 cups of coffee in, about to start drink
#2. Also I drank More Drinks than I intended to yesterday but I think part
of it was I Was Pouring Smaller Serving Of Alcohol. Sounds about right.
Anyway just saw a tiny spiderweb looking around my room. I think we are
creeped out by spiders and spiderwebs more than ladybugs for example because, no
matter how small the web is, part of us is like OH NO WE CAN POSSIBLY GET
TRAPPED THERE! I KNOW WE'RE TOO BIG BUT ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN I SAW A
MOVIE ABOUT IT WHERE THE MAN TURNS INTO THE FLY I THINK IT WAS CALLED FLYMAN.
There was once a third baseman called Travis Fryman. Is that relevant
to this nonsense? The point is how many other animals set elaborate traps
for other animals. Physical Traps. Not like oh I lured you in
with this smell or something. No PHYSICAL Traps.! I feel like
there must be some legitimately that I just can't pull right now. Oh.
Besides Humans. Humans and Spiders, two trappinist peas in a pod.
Anyway, great, just great. There's a good 4 or 6
KurasawaSummerToRemember. That's great, just great. I'm
Retroactively making ALL Hashtags #SummerToRemembers. You bet.
Bugs Bunny sets traps for people. So does Road Runner. They're not
Real people, though. Only fictional people. Also I wonder if kids
these days have any idea about Looney Tunes. As a kid in the 90's I still
saw it here and there and ya know what I Could Do Without It. I liked
Tiny Toons, though. Now you're speaking my language For Some
Reason! The point is I'd probably enjoy Looney Tunes NOW more than I
did THEN. Then again seems A LITTLE Too Looney for my tastes.
Not sure if I could even tolerate that degree of lunacy. There was that
time Looney Tunes CRACKED into the Gremlins II Main DataBase. I wonder
if kids these days are familiar with Gremlins II: The New Batch. Which is
exponentially better than Gremlins I. Without thinking about it Then Or Up
Until Just Now, Gremlins II was probably in my top 10 favorite movies as a
child. There's a Spider Gremlin Who SETS TRAPS FOR HUMAN. True
Story. Well that it was in the fictional motion picture. There
wasn't ACTUALLY a spider gremlin who sets traps for Human in our Real World.
The point is I am
PRO- John Lewis (his life not his death. I am ANTI-Jon Lewis Having Died).
I am also PRO- RBG (her life and MAYBE her death if she waits half a year and
Joe Biden Is President [just kidding]) And I am PRO- best way of honoring
John Lewis is passing Recent Voting Rights Act he helped write, or endorsed, or
whatever, the point is He Was On Board With It. And its a PERFECT moment
to make a big deal about it Because We Need It Desperately To Pass. Or at
least to imprint on the public consciousness that It Needs To be Addressed.
You don't want a rigged election and The Riggers Win and then people are like
uhh I forget the point is We Don't Want A Rigged Election, right? LOL
that Crazy Samurai whose a jerk but funny He Really Gets Me Going!
What else is crappening. Got Lunch Going Right
Now. Got Samurai Seven coming up soon when this is over. I guess
I can always Read Twitter On My Computer. But then anyone in my room
will see my Secret Shame! Following Shameful People on Twitter! You
know, like What's His Name! Nate Silver! No one must know.
Anyway I did have a Drinksworth of Plain Vodka last night and ya know what
goes down pretty easy. Anyway. What have we accomplished this
entry. PRO Voting Rights. ANTI Secret Police. PRO universal
Summer To Remembers. ANTI Knowing What Co Star In Palm Spring's Name Is.
PRO Gremlins II, ANTI Looney Tunes. ANTI Nick Silver. But If No One
Is Looking PRO Nick Silver.
Anyway. Hey, great, what else. I like me some
meatloaf for dinner. It's a Mock Family Meal. Meatloaf is something
Your Mom would cook. Lol Burn. Huh? I leave Soup in FOR
WAY MORE than the time they reccomend what of it. They say four minutes?
I'm doin 5 and a half, six minutes! Prove Me Wrong! Its not so much
that It Needs To Be Hotter When I Take My First Spoonful. It's more It
Needs To Be Hotter By THE LAST Spoonful. If its room temperature by then,
GROSS THESE PELLETS ARE ROOM TEPMERATURE. Hotter it is from the start,
hotter it'd be by the end! It's Simple Physics presumably one would
assume! One day I hope to find out exactly what Barley Is. I think that
was Te Plot Point in The Seven Samurai! They were like if these bandits
keep stealing our barley every year Whatsoever Will Happen To Us!
It's A Real Problem! The point is if America gets
EVEN MORE considerably worse over the next decade, fuck it, I'm Goin' To Japan!
I'd have to learn the language but Japan has A LOT going for it I'm not kidding!
The only bad part is There's Not Enough Room In Tokyo We'd Have To Sleep In
Drawers. But, really, it would be cool! There can be a whole
contingent of expatriates and we get our own slice of the culture! The
point is We've Got Options. Plus, maybe I can find a Samurai that I can
apprentence with. No more samurai. Tom Cruise was the last
samurai. Oh right I forgot! Anyway I was just finishing my soup
and it was JUST starting to cool down to room temperature but I finished it JUST
IN TIME! Sounds about right.
Hey last paragraph. Another fun filled entry. I
liked the parts where I talk about Real Things As If Anything I Say Could Make
Any Sort Of Difference At All. Doesn't even make me feel better to
say it. Makes me feel worse! People don't want any political Hot
Takes! So I feel like there's a duty to talk about it to my limited
audience and then I feel stupid for talking about it to my limited audience.
The point is I blame All The Samurai except for that Jerk Samurai HE'S MY
FAVORITE. I wonder what RASHOMAN is all about. I bet this time
around I Can Figure Out Whose Telling The Truth. My detective skills have
improved exponentially since the last time I saw that movie I Bet! Now
I'll be able to Really Figur Out What's Going On There. Anyway I'll see
you jerks later.
July 17, 2020
to spend 15 minutes cleaning up my room. Just got Supermarket Delivered
along with Alcohol. And now I'm like well its time to do some Spring
Cleaning in my liver, feels wrong to not pair that with My Room. Also
first time I've been drinking Liquor since Early May or Late April Presumably.
Also, here's a hot take that I'm gonna get, "Roasted," for-- Ruth Bader Ginsburg
is KIND OF overrated. Maybe that's my White Male Privilege
talking-- it probably is! I mean I'm on board with her politically, she
seems like a nice lady based on Absolutely nothing, and I commend her service to
her country. And I GET why they hype her up as an inspiration to Women and
Women Jews Presumably. But you know what IT AIN'T FOR ME AND I'M OKAY
Sounds about right. I hope she
continues to live though. Also, all you people BUYING INTO RBG Hype, what
percent of YOU are like Yeah She's Awesome! I hope she lives another 6
months and THEN dies. Cause if you are ya know what you're not a
RBG fan you're a Liberal Supreme Court Fan. Which is on par with What
I Am in regards to this whole thing! I don't know who a President Joseph
Biden would pick as a Supreme Court justice but I'd Like To Throw My Hat In The
Ring. Which is an expression for some reason? I imagine maybe like
Proto-Wrestling. Like there's a Big Wrestler Fellow just grandstanding in
the Wrestling Ring for 20 minutes with no one else no dialogue. Just a lot
of pumping his chests and mouthing out stuff like (Whisper)*You Wanna Piece
Of Me? Whose Got The Guts?*(Whisper) and then Someone Throws Their Hat
In The Ring. To symbolize They'd Like To Participate. Probably
usually a scam. Also I never go closure from Man On The Moon: The
Major Motion Picture, if Courtney Love's character was In On The Wrestling Spot
from the start. The way they showed it was that She Was Real Audience
Member who volunteered to wrestle Andrew Caughingman but that's probably
taking some liberties, right?
I hate these Anti-RBG judges who are TAKING OUR
LIBERTIES. Maybe that's an aspect to RBG-hype. I forgot that
hey they there's thousands, tens of thousands, judges and They Need A
Hero Too! Anyway so much Fresh Meals Re-upped. We're talking
Deli Meat, we're talking salmon meat, we're talking grilled chicken meat,
potatoes, rice, meated loaf. It's a real abundance of riches! The
point is I Don't Know WHICH Supreme Court Justice is my favorite!
The good news is I Don't Have To Make A Commitment One way Or The Other AS OF
YET. Also, if you're an all-out RBG fan, and am hoping she dies at some
point over Next Democratic President... I ain't blamin' ya! She'd probably
feel that way too! Or she could step down. I'm stepping down to
devote more time to spend with the cancer cells that are ravaging my body as we
speak. Lol Ripe For Parody!
Anyway, great. Starting to realize I'm Gettin'
There with #DickVanDykeSummerForTheAges. Solidly more than 50% through!
So I got that going on for me is the point. Haven't Had Good Rice in a
while. Figure lunch'll either be Sandwich & Rice or Salmon & Rice
It's a reaallll Abundance Of Riches. Anyway the point is Started
Drinking Vodka and I'm On Board With Vodka! It really makes ya think.
Or at least try to think. Failing to try to think. Thinking is
involved in some way is the point, Trying To Think At least. Hey I also
got CROISSANTS. YES Crossaints French Science-Army Man From
Godzilla: The Major Motion Picture. Anyway if a picture is worth a
thousand words, how many words is a Motion Picture worth. Exponentially
increase, right? But do we divide Motion Pictures into Pictures by
seconds, by frames, by how long a specific camera shot is? The point is
Shakespeare was all well and good but Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead
is THOUSANDS of times as good based on Math.
I've never done parkour, but sometimes when I'm lying in
bed, looking around my room, I start thinking I'd like to climb some of this
furniture. But in a Sportsmanlike way. Not just try to get to the
top (which can't happen, it'll end up falling on me. Just sort of step
from one to get a leg up on an adjacent piece of furniture and work my way to
the top somehow through Sportsmanship. Anyway what kinda gaslighting is
Sportsmanship. It means colloquially Hey being a Good Guy showing
Respect to the other side no matter who won or lost. Way Off!
Sportsmanship is how good you are at sports. So you beat someone in
a game of Connect Four how WE USUALLY SAY sportsmanship is you going ah good
game you almost got me. Fun, challenging time had by all that's the
message of this game. But a REAL sportsmanship would be like YEP
BEAT YOU! PROBABLY DUE TO MY EXCEPTIONAL SPORTSMANSHIP. Also in
this scenario Connect Four is a sport. And the closest thing I
could come up with that's a Sport for some reason.
Know What I'd Do Without You
great, just great. Supermarket sent me Double the amount of Salmon and
Fancy Roast Beef I asked for. Plus some potatoes I had originally asked
for but thought I deleted! Basically we did some Deleting but They Didn't
Get The Message! But on the other hand I'm like, well this is great, by
the time this week is ending I'd still have An Abundancement or options.
Also why can't the Supreme Court rule on whether to cure cancer or not. I
know the Repubs want RNG to die as soon as possible, but if they cure cancer,
that helps THEM in the long run, too! Both because they might get cancer
and this way they'd have a cure, and also, it would be VERY Politically Shrewd
to support curing cancer. Real clever triangulation there. Gotta
give them credit for coming out against cancer!
Sounds about right. So the point is today's lunch I'm
leaning towards BBQ Salmon (as opposed to NON BBQ Salmon) and Potatoes No One
Really Wanted Except For Me As A Fleeting Flight Of Fancy (as opposed to
Potatoes everyone's on board with). Anyway, I dunno. I think its
very Poltiically Shrewd for Biden to get involved in Texas because Texas has A
Big Number of Electoral College Votes and presumably it makes no difference if
he wins because if he does he would have won anyway and if he doesn't then he's
risking his victory in other states. But MAN OH MAN TEXAS IS A BIG
STATE LOOK AT THAT ON THE MAP. THAT BEING BLUE INSTEAD OF RED IS SOMETHING
WE CAN ALL CELEBRATE REGARDLESS OF HOW THE REST OF THE ELECTION TURNS OUT!
Anyway. Not even enamored with the number of electoral votes.
Just how it looks on the map. Such is life! As for me? I
dunno what to do one way or another. I'm not very good at
Sportsmanship when it comes to Politics!
I think when you win Election the map should just show Solid
Blue or Solid Red WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER NOW SHIP UP OR SHOE OUT.
That's all well and good if Biden wins but what if Trump wins. WHAT
RED? WHERE I LIVE? NOT IN MY LIFETIME. So I talked myself
out of that premise is the point I guess. Sometimes I wonder if in Stephen
King's Original Shawshank Redemption, if Red was actually an Irish Guy. It
occurs to me every Third Time I watch The Shawshank Redemption: The Major Motion
Picture. One day I hope to get to the bottom of this. Either way, I
think they did a good job casting Morgan Freeman. Because he does become a
Free Man at the end of the movie Spoiler Alert. I like it when Our Names
Mean Something. Huh what was I talking about.
Also, if a picture is worth a thousand words, I will
trade you ALL THE PICTURES I'VE GOT for 1,000 words over and over again.
You're a chump for making this deal. I'd fuckin' give ya pictures for 100
Words! That's how confident I am that I'm coming out on top in this
transaction. Also it's just just 100 random words meaning nothing.
It has to be at the very least a logical sentence or progression of sentences.
The truth is I've Got A Problem With Pictures And A Problem With Words
and It's A Gambling Problem when it all comes down to it! The point is, if
we're behaving responsibly, we would know precisely what picture we're trading
for/away for precisely what words. Fairest way to go about it.
Hmm. Anyway, I dunno what else is going on.
Dunno what I'm gonna do with the rest of the day. Hopefully Finish 50% of
The Star Wars Still Left Over. Now that I'm drinking again maybe I should
go back to binging Intervention. I could sort of fantasize that I
have people who care about me and my my health. I do. They're
called my parents Ever Heard Of Them? Yeah I'm 31.5 Ever
Heard Of 'em. Also how to numbers factor in to a picture/word
valuation. A picture = 1000 words = 3500 numbers. Man I kinda
wanna see What's Behind Door Number Three what the hell are those numbers all
Sounds about right! Also is it Just
Individual Digits, or is it 3500 numbers that Each Mean Something Tangibly.
I was thinking just 3500 Digits, but if we're talking However-many-digits per
Number and each Number is a thing HOLY SHIT NOW I'd Take like FORTY numbers
per Picture. Hopefully they're explicit about what Each Number Means,
or maybe Each Number Means Something but we have to figure it out for ourselves.
I dunno. I don't know lots of things! Like if this is entertaining
to anyone but myself! I'm guessing Vaguely In A Strange Way That No One
Can Nor Wants To Define! Damnit now I can't get the idea of getting 40
Numbers and they each mean something that They Tell Me what they mean as part of
Probably Something Else
be the last section of entry Almost Definitely. Anyway, if last week I was
able to have 3 drinks a day with 1 day off, this week I can have solidly 5
drinks a day no day off! That's definitely into Unhealthy
territory. But it's fun because it makes me feel good! The real
problem is I forgot to re-up my Soda Supply so I better get used to drinking
Vodka without any soda or other mixer. When I was Googling this
type of vodka before getting it they were like hmm this brand can't really
taste anything smooth is the point also this is all what the website said
verbatim. So I'll try that out today or tomorrow. In the
meantime, though, I'm gonna have lunch in about 30-45 minutes. Also I
can't wait to be done with Star Wars. I liked the part when I was like
this franchise has more surprise paternity/maternity reveals than AN EPISODE
OF MAURY! The point is people who go on Maury, in their mind,
its like Going On Star Wars. I'd figure out that bit But I Don't Want
Great. I can't wait to see who Biden chooses to be
his VPMate. Because Biden knows ALL ABOUT the VP position. He'd pick
A Real Perfect VP no matter who it is. Hmm, Biden thinks, I was
chosen to appease White Moderates... how does that translate into 2020...
I'm sure Biden did a great job at VP. There were the times after 2016
election but before 2017 coronation when there were Memes and whatnot about him
and Obama Pulling Pranks on Trump for when he's president. I think I saw
Conan do that bit, at least. The point is That Was The Culmination of his
vice presidency. Coronation? More like CUOMONATION if Biden loses in
2020. I'm full of great predictions. Maybe Biden is thinking
of picking Andrew Cuomo to appease the white moderates. Jesus How much
do these white moderates need to be appeased. Infinitywise!
Indefinitely! Just kidding.
I think people like me should be the ones
appeased. Sounds about right.
I'm not on board with these Secret Police rounding people up
and doing god knows what with them. But then again, I'm not on board with
the Non-Secret Police killing people and whatnot. IIf only there was
political will to Stop Some Very Quickly Escalating Clear Police-State-style
Fascism. Too Touchy an issue I guess. First they want to
not be rounded up and murdered for Protesting by Secret Police, what's next? Not
wanting to be rounded up and murdered for protesting by Our REGULAR PLICE
JUST DOING THEIR JOBS? Makes sense to me. The good news
is I Have Never Been Rounded Up And Murdered as far as I know. So I got
THAT going for me. Gotta count your blessings in this crazy mixed up
As far as I can tell, the mainstream media is just going back
and forth between Coronavirus and Police Protests just quick enough so that we
can't mount any momentum and enthusiasm for Correcting Courses either way.
Just trading off between the two and somehow we get the sense well clearly we
have two monumental crises going on But THERE'S TWO OF THEM HOW CAN WE
ACCOMPLISH ANY CHANGE FOR EVEN ONE! I CERTAINLY CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF TWO
THINGS AT ONCE!!! Also I'm projecting my own
long-term-inner-narrative-of-how-I-think-of-things onto the mainstream media.
Sounds about accurate, though, right? I can see myself watching some
Interventions when I'm done with this entry. Sounds about accurate,
Cool. I'm having the BBQ salmon for the first time
and you know what I'm on board with BBQ salmon. Got some Meatloaf being
made by Mother tonight for dinner. Got 40% of the alcohol portioned out
for the day still waiting. The point is In Retrospect I enjoyed #MarvelSummerToRemember
more than #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething. And #DickVanDykeSummerForTheAges
about as much as #MarvelSummerToRemember. I don't get why you need a
secret police to hurt and kill people, just join the regular police, they seem
to have a foot in the door for that kind of engagement with citizens already.
No need trying do a Start Up of People Who Kill Innocent People just join the
group that got there first! Anyway, that's a fun way to end entries.
Well as unfun it is to end entries that way, it's EXPONENTIALLY more unfun to
Victims of Secret Police. I'll see ya later!
July 16, 2020
God Give Me A Decent Title
great, just great. 24 Hours from Alcoholic Consumption! Isn't Dying
By Consumption Tuberculosis. Which lets face it is the name of a
Popular Music Album. Look I consume a lot of things that kill me why
give tuberculosis all the glory? Especially when you ain't really doing
any consuming at all. Sounds dumb to me but I'm just one dumb man.
I'm gonna be honest for some reason, I always thought dying of Consumption was
Alcohol Poisoning or something. At least that works the element of
Consuming into the equation. And it seems like a PC way of saying it.
Ah My Uncle he hit the bottle a little too hard, died of consumption. Also
why is he hitting bottles, hard or not. That's a sure way to hurt
yourself! You know that sort of thing. Hitting bottles, eh?
Like Bowling. But Beer Bottles instead of pins. That's a good
Post-Beer Pong Activity. Beer Bowling. Get some empty beer bottles,
line em up, you use some sort of Ball to knock em over! And the loser has
to Eat The Bal.
Sounds about right. If I remember anything right
over the year or two I would regularly play drinking games, one game that really
stands out is Fuck The Dealer. Because its not a fun game. The rules
and how it plays out are boring. But also it's basically Getting You To
Drink EVERY TIME something happens. It's like look pick a number from 1
to 10, if I guess it, you have to drink. But instead its like hey
pick a number from 1 to 1, if I guess it, makes no difference, you've gotta
drink anyway! So in that sense it is a fun game. They
should have a Decathlon for College Students with lots of beer activities and
the person who wins the gold medals HAS TO DRINK. What's the Age Limit on
Beer Pong. You can't be in your 50's playing Beer Pong unless its a
Back To School type movie and Not Real Life. 30's seems like a big
stretch. Early 20's is definitely okay. Late 20's is a gray area
lets face it.
Anyway counting down the hours til alcohol consumption.
You know when you drink Malt Tuberculosis. Sounds good to me!
Never was 100% on what Malt meant. I know it could be in the
context of malt liquor. I think it has something to do with Sugar.
Cooking something in Sugar. I may have picked that up from those 9 months
I watched The Cooking Channels All Day. LMLTURQ. Well not
Quite Sugar related. But its a way of MALTING things I think that should
sum that up really well. Is drinking 40 Ozs a universal experience in
college. That's what we used to do Freshman Year. Hardly ever beer
cans or beer bottles. Just 40 oz. It's fun because Hey I can
nurse this real well even while drinking from it all the time as Games Insist I
Do. Anyway. Huh.
What else is going on. Biden is back up to 9.1%
over Trohnald Dump. I knew if I checked obsessively Because I Got
Nothing Better To Do some numbers would periodically make me happy! AAlso
look out for Donald Trump in Donald Trump Takes A Dump. A new
series of movies in his Classy Premium Scatological and Urinacational porn
franchise. I don't like this joke. It almost humanizes him.
WE ALL TAKE DUMPS. And I bet Trump's Dumps are totally unremarkable.
Oh well I Guess That's How Politics Go These Days. Anyway. Still
haven't watch Hamilton. Worried about American History Spoilers.
Yes I know it happened over 200 years ago I'm STILL NOT CAUGHT UP TO EVEN THE
REVOLUTIONARY WAR YET JUST DONT TALK ABOUT IT AROUND ME.
Didn't have breakfast at all so I can
eat lunch whenever I want! Thems the breaks! Thinking about a Bagel
with Some Creamed Cheese. I was telling my Mom I'd be okay with some
Spinach as a side for Meatloaf or Chicken Or Whatever Real Dinner we'd be
getting. She got creamed spinach. And she was like alright you're gonna
share it with me. And I was like WOOOOAOAH HOLD ON. CREAMED
ANYTING IS UCKING FISGUSTING. Creamed Corn? WHAT THE HELL THAT'S THE
GROSSEST THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME! But the good news is Sure
I'll re-up some Melba Toast its good for the Salmon. Nice piecelet of
salmon on a piece of melba toast its a nice hors d' oeuvres that I came up with
myself! Independently of anyone else whose come up with it or something
similar in the past!
Sounds about right. Also it IS a nice hor d oeuvre but
I eat it as a dinner! Just stuff my face with 10 or 12 of them at a time!
It's healthy because It's Fish! Of course, though, Kings is the best
drinking game for teenagers because its like OH MAN KING I GET TO MAKE A
RULE SOMETHING SEXY MIGHT COME OF THIS! What an exciting
Card Game! Still not goin' Readin' Twitter except intermittently on My
Phone. No E-mail on my phone. A third thing presumably if there
was/is/will be/will not be on my phone. Oh. Right. Porn.
Still going with porn though! What are the odds I misclick again!
Maybe if I misclick the two competing sets of hackers will have to have a battle
royale to see who wants to try to scam me out of some money. Jokes on
them! All the time they're busing trying to out do each other,
hacking-wise, I'M GOING TO THE POLICE CYBERNET TRACKING CENTER and they're BOTH
feel like I've done 1/2 of those Beer Games Etc bits before. Its More
Than A Feeling! But what can ya do, Repetition is funny!
That's what no one led me to believe! Its funny he's so dumb he doesnt
realize he's been This Specific Dumb only just a few months ago! Makes
Me Laugh! LOL see there's the proof! I had to type it out! OH
here's a save-em up from a few days ago. Star Wars Has More Shocking
Paternity/Maternity Reaveals Than An Episode Of Maury! Sure I could
phrase it 15% better! Sure I won't! Anyway had two cups of coffee
today and I feel like that's enough. Will have Bagel With Creamed Cheese
which is fun. Cottage Cheese is like creamed cheese. Well, not as
much as cream cheese is cream cheese. The point is Cottage Cheese grosses
me out just like Creamed Vegetables.
Hmm. Fascinating! The point is Sure I'm
Paying More Attention to numbers and statistics re: upcoming elections than re:
Coronavirus. It's nice to think about scenerios where We Might Win!
I dunno. Isn't there some way we can all speak out against Bullshit Going
On To Not Stop Coronavirus and then people'll be like Hmm seems the majority
of the public Wants Us To Put Forth Very Common Sense practices and restrictions
and rules in place and whatnot. On the other hand, we seem to b living
in a society where we're like Yeah this sucks but WHAT CAN I DO! I know
Andrew Cuomo can do something. I can Trump can do something [nothing].
As for the rest of us, All Just Innocent Bystanders! I think the hope
is that Andrew Cuomo becomes governor of every state and they're like well he
fucked up royally at the start but then got us back on track. Andrew
Cuomo can't go to your states, though! He's GOT THINGS TO DO like give
nursing homes immunity from being held responsible for their malpractice in
allowing Corona to spread. MAKING THAT DECISION MONTHS AGO STILL TAKES UP
ALL OF HIS TIME!
It feels like Gun Control after a school shooting. We
talk about it in futility, kind of resolved to the (wrong?) idea that we can
accomplish little as individuals. The only thing different was at least
then we were running into Big NRA, a very powerful lobbying group. WHO THE
HELL IS THE POWERFUL LOBBYING GROUP PUSHING BACK AGAINST FIGHTING PANDEMIC?
It's just some supreme morons and jerks and idiots banded together in power in
an orgy of indifference, incompetence, and lack of imagination. Anyway, so
we got that going on for us, is the point. The point is it's too bad Trump
Steaks didn't work out because maybe if Trump was King Of Steaks he never would
have wanted to be president anyway. Then we'd have someone competent
enough to Do Things That Are So Obvious And Relatively-Politically-Easy to fight
The good news is BAGEL IS COMING UP. I feel like bagels
are good. I like it when they slide down my gullet. Often with
Creamed Cheese or Butter. Anyway I gave my Mom a cigarette last night.
On a whim I checked Behind My Desk and sure enough there was a spiderweb-covered
Pack of Camel Blues. With only 1 cigarette in it. And it looked like
The End Of It had gotten wet at some point based on its color but Felt Dry.
And I figured hmm 15% chance its wet from alcohol This Could Prove To Be
Exciting Lighting Alcohol On Fire! Anyway went back and forth on
whether I should give her the cigarette-- I think she had been closing in on a
week without it. But that's not my roll to tell an adult what to do.
She asked for a cigarette, I gave her a cigarette! And I can only hope she
learns to reciprocate that mindset when I'm out gettin' alcohols.
Sounds about right. Mom is also starting to put
out feelers on whether she wants me to take a walk and get A Lot Of Cigarettes!
Which at first I was like, ok cigarette store right next to a subway I can't
go in subway and i certainly can't Get A Subway but maybe just being in
proximity to Sandwiches can get me off to some extent. I dunno,
something along those lines. The point is I'm gettin' it coming and going!
Coronavirus outside, 2nd Hand Tobacco Disease inside! Whatever. Saw
an article about how elderly teachers are quitting and never coming back.
Either because they don't feel safe in Live School or they don't feel
comfortable in Online School. Sounds about right for what happened to
my Dad. Dumb People in Charge! Teaching was as far as I can tell
my Dad's favorite thing! And now it's dunzo. Now he's gotta
figure out a new favorite thing. To tell you the truth he's started
walking around in circles Downstairs like his son upstairs. I guess
that's a fun hobby!
Beginning To Doubt God Really Exists
point is I Think I May Have Access to HBOMax which means I can follow #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething
with a nice #HarryPotterSummerForTheAges. I feel like I've seen roughly
Half of the Horror Parry movie. Now I get to see them all over again!
Anyway, bout a 1/3 chance I'm making Frenched Toast tonight. I like those
odds! I like those odds because I'm Fine either way. I'd be happy if
it was 100 to 1 odds, And I'd be happy if it was 2 to 1 odds. I'm Happy
Either Way the odds mean nothing to me! I can't wait to get a New Clean
Phone so I can waste more of my life on my phone than I would be otherwise.
I like those odds, too! Great odds! Anyway, my go-to joke for
Drinking Games is and always will be, the premise of all drinking games is
you need to drink as a penalty for something. You're here to drink!
That's what you WANT to do! Unless you're some sort of Date Raper and
are like well I gotta do everything I can to get other people to drink But
Not Me! I need to be sober to properly take advantage of an inebriated
person sexually. In which case ya know what I DON'T WANT THI GUY IN
MY DRINKING GAME AT ALL. You're Not Welcome At My Beer Pong Table.
Wow! Saw some Blue Check Mark Twitter people
were hacked yesterday. Is it possible I was jacked as part of that same
operation? My guess is no. I can remember specifically where
I got hacked presumably and it has nothing to do with me being Blue Check
Marked! Especially because I'm not Blue Check Marked! Some poeple
getting into touble with anti-Semitism. I dunno about you guys but I'm
PRO-Semitism or at the very least Neutral when it comes to Semitism. After
all Jews have done for us? 1) Gave us the Atomic Bomb (presumably that's
just a guess).. well that's enough for some warrantd anti-Semitism.
LMLTURQ. Einstein was a Jewish. He was a big part of the Manhattan
Project. Case Closed Jews are responsible for Inevitable Nuclear War &
Winter. Gotcha! Also I decided NOT to LTURQ. Can't
It's not Jews fault they are adept at science.
Science just has an innate Pro-Jew balance and What Are We Supposed To Do About
It. Anyway, the thing is, I'm near this entry being over so I'm Just
Really Looking Forward To That. Because by Next Entry I'LL HAVE ALCOHOL!
9.1% Lead Over Trump In Popular Vote Poll? Why, THAT'S ALMOST 9.4%!
So close I'm fine with a 9.1% for now! Sometimes I think
back to 5 months ago when I was veyr anti-Joe Biden. Well, I was always
pretty neutral Joe Biden. The Most Anti-Biden takes I had were how he
repeatedly lied about being a Civil Rights Movement Person, and stuff like that.
But anyway now I'm Pro-Joe-Biden because what's the alternative there isn't
one that's the point I'm trying to make.
Right? Great. Also yeah the physical
affection he shows people can br pretty creepy but I have a very low threshold
for creepy affection. I could be at my uncle's at Christmas and hugging
relatives to say Hello and I'm like I DON'T LIKE THIS. Maybe I'm
autistic. Or whichever one of those can't stand physical contact.
And I'd love SOME physical contact. Just not Relative Christmas Contact.
We're talkin' some Lady's Affectionate Physical Contact. Glad I
narrowed that down for you. Anyway hey entry is getting very close to
being over! A solid C- entry! Would I argue with a D+? No
that's warranted! But a C- or EVEN a C? I Feel Great About That!
Also some of the relatives on Christmas are Italian American and they always do
the thing where you go cheek to cheek (from opposing sides) and either kiss you
on the cheek or Mock Kiss You and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Is it just a
mock kiss? I'm not actually kissing them, right? Either way TOO
CLOSE FOR COMFORT EVEN WORSE THAN A REGULAR HUG.
Last paragraph! Dunno what I'm gonna do for
dinner. Maybe some sort of Finishing Frozen Pizza. Perhaps some sort
of Making Frenched Toast as previously alluded to. A Double Dose of Hot
Pocket. DECEDENT BREAKFAST SANDWICH!!! If its in stock
at Fresh Direct, gettin a 4 count of Plain Croissants: The Decedent Breakfast
Treat for tomorrow. Anyway, I dunno. Halfway through the day more or
less. Man oh man another day down. I'll see you guys later.
July 15, 2020
Said It Couldn't Be Done.
said it shouldn't be done. And they were talking about NASA's trip
into space! What'd space ever do to you just leave it alone don't be a
jerk. Also Aliens Own Space. How come there's very few movies
where Humans are the clear antagonists to aliens. It's always aliens
Fuckin' Our Shit Up. It's never Humans Just Declare War On Aliens For SOme
Reason and start rounding them up and putting them in ICE Camps.
Illegal Aliens maybe, but that's different. What kind of alien
isn't illegal. E-T! He seems on the up and up. Anyway E.T.
was a parable and whoever the government agency was who was tracking down ET (I
Have Never SEen ET) were a clear stand in for ICE. And Elliot's
flying bicycle was clearly a metaphor that Mexicans will be able to Fly Above
Any Wall they put up.
None of that is great. None of it is good!
They said They Hoped It Would Never Be Done! My impersonation of a
racist white person talking to a slightly differently hued person-- GO BACK
TO SOMEPLACE ELSE! They're trying to conjure up hmm where did this
person come from and then are like ya know what who cares mayb they wanna
go SomeWhere New Entirely I wish them the best of luck Go back somewhere
else! Not sure what that means. But it is a bit I
wrote down late at night
either before falling asleep or after
falling asleep a few nights ago. Anyway gonna have an early lunch
today. We're talking not much after Noon O Clock. We're talkin
when I re-up with alcohol on Friday we're goin with Vodka! We're talkin
that means I can drink a lot more week by week than with 18 cans of Beer.
Anyway GREAT NEWS I made some progress with #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.
Finished the Sequel Trilogy! I Totally Watched TWO STAR WARS MOVIES last
night. Now all that's left is Han Solo's Day Out: His Very Own Star Wars
Movie and Rogue One: One Day I'd Like To Figure Out What Context That Title
Is In And Why It Makes Sense. There's also TV Shows and Shorts and
whatnot that I'm not gonna fuck with.
Anyway. My Mom got me sweat pants! True story!
Also wearing these pants in the summer Now I Know Why They Call Them Sweat Pants
TOO WARM NO ES BUENO. Makes ya sweat! Sometimes I think about
what my life would be like if when my brother got me a Holiday Present a few
years ago of What I Believe Is A Mandolin, if he got it Left Handed instead of
Right. I'd be Mandolinin up a storm! Instead of Not Mandolinin well
at all which is where I'm at right now. Also remember the Iron Man III
Villain played by Sir Benny Kingsley. The Mandolin? Lol its
funny because we're all very familiar with Iron Man III and the words used to
describe Ben Kingsley's character. I assume you've been following
along on my SummersForTheAges. Everything I Watch, You Watch!
It's very possible that There's No Way In Hell that's an accurate scenario for
anyone. Except for me. I really have been watching what I've
said I've been watching!
Hmm if I'm buying Vodka for the next week maybe I should be
buying extra soda. Makes sense. Hmm if I'm Eating Lunch Right
Now, I should probably be buying extra soda. Now that I know I
Have A Track Record Of Eating Lunch 85% of the time, that's just more
opportunities to drink soda! Anyway. I saw Solo: The Solo Movie back
when it was in theaters. Or maybe after it was in theaters on HBO.
The point is I Saw it and vaguely remember it! This is good stuff,
If and When I Saw movies, GOLD! What other movies have I seen in my
life. Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Matilda. The
Departed. The Gate. Harold and Fast Food Go To White Castle.
Really makes ya think. The point is when I was a young kid I was a big
reader. Probably read Matilda once or twice, sure, what of it. I
vaguely remember reading at some point (As An Adult!) Roald Dahl turned out to
be an asshole or something. Conservative, or beat women and children, got
his own lifeboat in the Titanic. But my problem with Roald Dahl will
ALWAYS be That Name! ROALD? C'mon. ROALD DAHL? A SLANT
RHYME? C'MON. I always pronounced it Rahl, but then again,
sometimes I pronounced it Rahld. Now I Don't know WHAT to think!
I finished lunch that's fine. I get to have dinner
later anyway! Anyway what's going on in the Wide World of Sports. I
think Baseball Dropped The Ball agreeing to do a 60 game season. They'd
have been better off waiting til next year. Because, this way, its like,
Hmm 60 games, this is very different than your normal season, not sure if I'm
on board with taking this season seriously, now that I think about it, why do I
take any season seriously. You just lost yourself an imaginary
customer! Ya blew it. I like baseball! I like it when
they hit the homeruns. Man they hit that ball so far not even the
outfielders can catch up with it! I also like The Thrill Of The Strike
Out. This guy got several chances to hit the ball and he didn't succeed
At ANY of them! Anyway I'm gonna take a break.
Now Leave Me Alone
Awesome. Hey great news I just got hacked! I was freakin' browsing
some porn a week ago and hastily was clicking around and I accidentally clicked
Yes to some Do You Want Malware Installed On Your Phone? I
never would have INTENDED to click yet but Hey Good For Them They Got Me!
But the good news is they're trying to milk money out of me because they're like
got video of you on your camera masturbating or something and I PUT
ELECTRICAL TAPE OVER MY CAMERA. CHECK AND MATE! Also I
changed my passwords to something else (I'M NOT TELLING!) so, really, I
dunno what the worst they can do it. Tell people I like porn? First
of all, OH NO! Second of all, TELL WHO? I'm not on Facebook anymore,
I have three followers on Twitter, and my Phone Contacts... again, no one I
really give a shit about. Hmm. Or nobody that gives a shit about
I just learnt an important lesson. Nobody cares
enough about me and I don't care enough about nobody. Thank you
anonymous stranger! And because of Paranoia I ALWAYS sort of go
into Internet with the assumption it might be read or be tracked or whatever.
Finally all that paranoia is paying off! Also, if somehow Hacker(s)
reading this? Well done better not send This Website to all my contacts!
You Don't Have The Guts! It still steams my grits that One Misclick
could get my phone hacked. I THOUGHT THESE PORN AGGREGATE WEBSITES WERE ON
THE UP AND UP. Now I don't know who to trust! Also there
wasn't even any BENEFIT to the misclick. It's not like okay I'm taking
a risk here but if This Link Is Everything It Says It Is ITS WORTH IT!
I don't think it was anything. So anyway Real Bummer.
Maybe they can somehow get out of my phone and into my computer. In
which case, pretty much the same scenario. I need a new computer and phone
anyway! This'll just expedite the process! All in all I feel like
I'm coming out on top in this entire ordeal.
Biden down to an 8.3% lead according to FiveThirtyEight.
Is it possible this hacker hacked into the election poll database?
Surely that's one possibility. In e-mail trying to scam me out of some
money, hacker knew one of my passwords, that's how I know its for real. So
I'm like look fine we can go halfsies on twitter! If you want access to
my account with something FINE I CAN SHARE. Just you keep track of
your friends and I'll keep track of mine! Maybe between us we can earn a
Blue Check Mark! I should e-mail back, NO I HACKED YOU IT WAS
ALL A SETUP NOW I GOT YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU! But then again
I'd rather just not engage with this guy again. He's A CRIMINAL.
I don't associate with CRIMINALS. Unless it's the closing track of Eminem:
The Marshall Mathers LP.
If it wasn't for already having lunch, the combination of
Passowrd Exposure and Joe Biden slipping in the polls would Really Steam My
Grits. But as it is, eh What Else Is Going On. It is sort of
jarring to see an e-mail, even though its 99% boilerplate, reference one of your
8 or 10 passwords. HEY WHAT! NOBODY IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT.
THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SCAM. Well, yes, that's exactly what it is.
I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT I THINK THE SCAM IS A SCAM. YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE
ME WITH A SCAM AND I'M CALLING A DOUBLE SCAM ON YOU! Anyway, I dunno.
One Misclick! Gotta be careful out there on them porn sites. Also I
know that there's probably a lot of pornsites that you're in severe danger even
WITHOUT a misclick. Not my porn sites! They're very well established
and I've had no problems before! My favorite part is they're like send
me this amount of money and I'll go away. yeah. That makes
sense. They get a few hundred dollars out of you and they're lke well
that transaction went through fair and square! Have a good one, nothin'
personal! Lets keep in touch AS FRIENDS.
I dunno what else is going on and crap. Also part
of the grift was, in the boilerplate, acting like they're shocked at The Kind Of
Porn I'm Looking At. C'mon. NOTHING on a well established porn
website is THAT crazy. There are Porns that are crazy and often illegal.
Not on these websites THEY're WELL ESTABLISHED. Also I
kinda like the idea of this guy sending Porn Information to contacts he's scared
up somehow. Hey now they know my Secret Shame but MAYBE THEY'RE ON
BOARD! WE HAVE THE EXACT SAME SECRET SHAMES ME AND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
You just did the hard part for me! Now not only do we all relate to each
other but maybe we can get together after Pandemic to Perform Some Of Our Secret
about right. I'm sure there's some real negative consequence to this crap
that I'm not thinking of right now. Gotta be, right? Well I'll Keep
You Updated On This Situation As It Progresses. In the mean time, changed
passwords to everything I could think of (To passwords UNLIKE hacked passwords--
not the smae password), but am hesitant to go back with those things On The
Phone At All. No mail on phone. No twitter! JUST MY LUCK I
MADE A HUGE TWITTER CHANGE LAST NIGHT. I added half a dozen people I
Always Read, specifically people who would then Branch Off into Other People I
Always Read. Not just 10 comedians. Maybe 2 comedians that branch
OFF INTO 30 Comedians, and 2 Politics People who branch off into THREE DOZEN
politics people. That kind of stuff. It's called STRATEGY.
Whatever. The point is that means a lot less noodling
around on my phone for now. Which is a good thing one would imagine?
Someone even added me on twitter! They must have liked how I've made 3
tweets in the last two years. They like their privacy, they don't like
to be bothered, that's why they follow All The Intermittent Tweeters.
All they need is a taste every now and then! In my head, if Hacker sends
some sort of sensitive information to someone on my Phone Contacts List, I
actually imagine a best case scenario of Oh that's Michael, right, I wonder
how he's doing! This guy is doing me a huge favor, reconnecting me
with old friends and family members nad doctors and whatnot. THEY MUST KNOW
ABOUT HOW I'm DUMB ENOUGH TO GET HACKED. That's the real thing, right?
Consequences are all well and good but the real shitty part is I Feel Dumb.
I TOLD YOU MISCLICK. IF ONLY I HAD SPENT MORE TIME
PLAYING CLICKING VIDEO GAMES! Maybe he has the thing going where he
can see a mirror of whatever I'm looking at. And hopefully there's an
Audio Mirror, too. So when I'm listening to The Uppers he's like hey
this ain't bad! It's a perfect scam ON MY part! Another idea--
respond to his e-mail with OH YEAH I JUST HACKED YOU Now
YOU Owe Me Money WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT! That'll Scare
Him Straight It Will. Hacking is al well and good but you gotta imagine
there's NO safety on The Hackers' Dark Web. Just people hacking each other
until One Ultimate Hacker Emerges and He Goes On To Face the WWE Champion at
SummerSlam for a chance at the belt.
Cool. Is it possible this is Russia. Well
I Guess. But if they were hacking for
socio-political-economic reasons, dunno why'd they Blow Their Cover just
to ask me for a grand. Seems like Not Great Strategy On Their Part, right?
Ya know what I Kinda LIKE this new Post-Hacking Lifestyle.
Watching TV with no phone! That's it! Check twitter half a dozen
times a day on computer, that's it! RELAX AND LET THE HAN SOLO SOLO MOVIE
TAKE ITS COURSE. If I Was Hacker, I'd just play it cool for months and
years until The Phone Man enters in some Real Sensitive Financial Data.
Instead of being like I'm gonna show your, "O," face to people unless you
give me some money! OH REALLY I'D LIKE T SEE YOU TRY CAN YOU SEE
THROUGH ELECTRICAL TAPE I DIDN'T THINK SO!
Here's a good way to respond-- e-mail them back and
be like well this is quite a predicament, you got me over a barrel here.
Maybe we should meet up for coffee to discus the specifics of what you're after.
Do you live nearby? Maybe you wanna get a drink instead? Just to
see the response. Because there probably isn't a Boilerplate Response for
Victim Wants To Be Friends. THEY HAVEN'T MET MICHAEL J. KIR#BO***.
What's with these poeple with J initials. Homer J Simpson.
Michael J Fox. Donald J Trump. Lindon Jains Bohnson. Anthony
Junior Soprano. Alll the Juniors. Anyway, another entry down!
Also there should have been a way to delete whatever crap I downloaded by
accident. I obviously spent 10 minutes Back When It Happened initially,
and now with this e-mail, it came up again. Couldn't find any way to
delete any possible thing. Thanks a lot you Dumb Phone. That'll
do it for today! See you tomorrow! From My Computer!
July 14, 2020
Single Save Em Up-- Cold Cuts are most often room temperature.
That'll start the entry off mighty fine! Anyway, how's #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDykeSummer
going. Closing in on 1/2 way through the #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDykeSummer.
That's a lot of typing to do without using Copy and Paste. Really
reaches the level where it's a toss up whether to copy and paste it.
Anything more, seems kinda intuitive. Anything less, no way am I copy
and pasting that. The point is sure there's some Levels More where
I wouldn't copy and paste. Maybe once it gets to twice as long
as #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDykeSummer, then I'll start using Copy & Paste.
Good idea for a sitcom of someone who works as an intern
in an office and someone who Eats Paste. They bond over their mutual
love of Computer Commands. Police saying, "Copy," and someone copies
Him. I've been watching too much #DickVanDykeSummerToDickVanDyke
Summer. AA key part of the plot is Bad Jokes. On
account of they're joke writers, often struggling for inspiration. But the
point is, over time, we get conditioned to kinda Like The Bad Jokes, so Good and
Bad in regards to jokes Start To Lose All Meaning! I was looking into Mary
Tyler Moore IN A NON CREEPY WAY and turns out she was a Republican Fox
News Viewer late in her life. Well there goes that. Well,
she's dead now. Well there goes that. And also she is 50
years older than me. Well that could be worked around. But the
DEATH THING, that's a bridge too far! No dating Dead People! Rule
I think not enough attention is given to Necrophilia.
Ahh it's a victimless crime. Is it, though? What about the
families? Maybe the families are the Necrophiliacs. That
sounds fair. Well, not any family member. You don't wanna dig
up your uncle to have sex with. But if its your husband or wife, I can
look the other way on having sex with their corpses. Seems reasonably
they're just trying to work their feelings out. A long term
relationship with a dead person, though, even if you were married--
that's also a bridge too far I Look Down on that scenario. Throgs Neck
Bridge is not a bridge too far it may be the closest bridge to where I live.
Sure as a kid I thought it was Frog's Neck Bridge. I feel Everyone
Thought That As A Kid Who Was Aware Of Said Bridge. Connects Queens to
The Bronx. Often the simplest way to get to Manhattan Through The Bronx.
So I've been told.
Huh? Oh, right. Only 2 beers left for the
next three days! But that's not so bad I went 2 months without Any Beer I
can go two days without Any Beer especially since I Know I Have Future Beer To
Look Forward To! Anyway, some guy breaks into cemetary at night, there's a
night watchmen, the guy is digging up a grave plot. Hey I know you
wanna have sex with that corpse BUT YOU CAN'T!, says the Security Guard. and
then the guy is like No its okay I'm just digging! I just get off
sexually from digging! And then security guard is like well why
does it have to be Here! You couldn't have picked A Worse Place!
And the guy is like IT ONLY WORKS IF THERE'S SOME STAKES TO IT!
What else is going on and crap. Dick Van Dyke is still
alive and very anti-Trump. So I guess I'll just shift all my affection for
Young Mary Tyler Moore to Young Dick Van Dyke. Well, SOME of my
affection. Depends on how we're defining my affection! And how
much of it! Anyway, jeez. I I eI enjoyed Not Rationing Out
Beer Quite As Well As I Should Have because it reminded me of Not Rationing Out
Marijuana Quite As Well As I Shuold Have. It's fun! Because I
remember the memory of it being like well I should save this... but I'm
not... but Hey I'm Having Fun Anyway Not Saving It! On account of This Fun
Drug! Anyway I'm gonna take a break. Be back in a bit!
Not Know It
#CancelCancelCancelCulture. #CancelCancelCancelCancelCulture. Hmm
so what are we up to. Canceling the cancellation of the cancellation of
Cancel Culture. I believe we worked our way down to Culture.
And as we all know Culture is something that's completely static and never
changes, unless Cancellers have their way. Where we are in culture now is
RIGHT WHERE IT SHOULD BE FOREVER. Thank god we cancelled the culture of
the 1950's but NOW I HOPE WE'RE DONE CANCELING FOREVER THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT
OUGHT TO BE. I think people against Cancel Culture just Don't Like
Culture To Begin With. Hmm Good Paragraph Really Makes Ya Think!
Oooh boy I'd like to Cancel Culture good. You wanna be cancelled, don't
you culture? Oh man imagine digging a ditch and canceling culture at the
I understand that it means more, "The Culture of
Canceling," and not, "Canceling The Noun Of Culture." But are the two
really that different? Basically these jerkdummies are against
the Culture of Canceling so in essence they're the ones who
want to cancel culture! CULTURE IS WHAT'S CANCELING CULTURE!
IT'S WORKING ITSELF OUT! THAT'S WHAT CULTURE IS! Both Verb and
mean a similar thing, and
they're both really dumb! What else is crappening is the point!
Brought up Beer #1 of 2 to my room! I will commence drinking that right
now! For some reason I'm gonna take a Klonopin, too! Just
seems like it'd be fun. I think when I was doing open mics I didn't think
hard enuogh about what I was doing to my body. Drinking 3-5 beers each
night, along with 1 or 2 klonopin and 2 or 3 ritalin. Looking back hey
Hey I was KINDA fucked up for that but at the time I didn't realize it.
I thought I Was Just Normal Where I Wanted To Be. And maybe I was!
It's just that Where I Wanted To Be was equivalent with Someone Who Has A
So the point is LETS DO THAT AGAIN! I wI
wonder what TV Channel #DickVanDyleSummerToDickVanDykeSummer was originally on.
1st guess-- NBC. 2nd guess-- CBS. 3rd gues-- ABC. 4th guess--
wasn't on any channel it was a radio show. They shot it with TV cameras
and whatnot but that was just for private fun use. Public consumed it only
on radio! FUCK CBS I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE HAD CBS BE MY FIRST
CHOICE. Well, its out to the barn I go! That's Where I Keep
My Noose! My suicide Noose! Sure I keep my noose in the
barn. I can't keep it in the house! I'd be Too Tempted!
Jeez. I dunno if this brain washing is still going on, but I think
part of me, even being a child of the 1990's, sort of thought of Oh Barn
People, Farmers, those are the Real Main Americans. I may have just
thought that in regards to history. But even in history I think
that Card Is Overplayed. Part of it is Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark.
A lot of those stories were based around farms and rural areas and whatnot.
That's where HORROR comes from! Ol' Noosey Out In The Barn, attracts
ghosts and whatnot for some reason no one is really sure of.
Also you can't leave a Noose out where a Kid might find
it! They're inevitably gonna want to play Hangman and BOOM broken neck.
I dunno if this brain washing is still going on, but I think part of me, even
being a child of the 1990's, kind of thought Dying By Noose was being choked to
death, and one day learned nope it breaks your neck, and I was like oh
man what a great bit of trivia! I must remember that so I could have a
conversation about it At Dinner Parties. Also The Dick Van Dykes
have a LOT of dinner parties. I've never had ANY dinner parties.
I once went to a friends house with my family for Passover. Once.
That's About It. I think I'm gonna forgo the Klonopin today.
Because I'm A Health Hero.
Anyway. Looks like 1 Meal today will be Turkey
Sandwich + Delicious Gross Soup, and Other Meal today will be Faux Fast Food.
We're talkin 2 White Castled Hamburgers, we're talking five or so chicken
nuggets, and we're talking some Frozen Frenched Fries. The 2nd is more
convenient to eat during Writing Entry, but I want the 1st one more. Soup
is no good to Eat Entry With. Gotta pay too close attention to the soup.
If you're not, it'll go cold! And then it's back to Just Plain Gross This
Soup Of Mine! And it's hard to just Put Down Soup Spoon for a while.
You take a Spoonful Of Soup, its hard to be just like alright that's enough
of that for a while. No you need MORE and MORE! I forget
what I was talking about. Oh. Cancel Culture. They're trying
to Cancel Cancel Culture. Which is Dumb Dumb Dumb.
Somebody Must Know It
Took a Klonopin actually. Cause I'm Not A Great Health Guy.
Incels. Yes we can. Yes We Cancels. Really makes ya
think. Trying To Think Of A Way To Put It Into Logic. It's damn near
impossible. Anyway Faux Fast Food Late Lunch in about 45 minutes!
I don't believe it. I like The Economist Forecast for General Election.
Right now they had it at 92%/7% for a Biden Win Over Trump. Ha that
last 1% really gets me going. If it was 92/8, I'd still Like Those
Odds, but just knowing that Trump Odds are only Seven and NOT EIGHT Percent?
That's the ice cream sauce on top of the sundae! What's 1 over 7.
Because whatever it is, that's the Percent That Trump lost due to this 1%
uncommitted! LOL over 14%. Whatta Chump! President Trump?
More like President CHUMP. The point is Biden is THEORETICALLY at 8.9%
Lead but I bet he's bordering on a 9.0% based on my own calculations! #PresidentChump.
Anyway, what else is going on and crap. 7/14. I
feel like that's a thing. Next year Today'll be 7/14/21. That's
multiples of 7. Also look out for my new Yearly HBO Comedy Show Next
Year Today. I'm Full Of Great Ideas! Because of Pandemic, I
can't even fantasize about having a Comedy Writing Job. Whatta
scam. Doesn't seem right! I guess I could have a Comedy-By-Mail
job. But it's just not the same! Also I don't mind being
exploited! If you said hey we're gonna put your joke on The Television
Set And Pay You Nothing I'd be like GREAT will you at least give me
credit? Just written credit? No monetary credit? and they're
like Nope and I'm like GREAT I'LL STILL TAKE IT! That'd be a
Flip-em-up for Trump Supporters. Who are Incels. Yes We Can-n-cels.
I'm gonna have to revisit this one so it makes sense. Also At What Age Is
It Right For A Boy To Identify With Incels. Obviously, 11 years old, too
young! Nobody's Gettin' Any except for Victims Of Rape. 23 years
old? That's a solid Incel! But where do we draw the line!!! I
hope they're having academic discussions about this in Health Class.
I dunno. What else is going on and crap. What
about all those VolCels. The voluntarily Celibate. How come they're
not a group that needs special attention. The point is the whole idea and
framing and exploitation of those Incels gives MANY OF US
REAL in-celibates a bad name! That's how I feel and I don't care who
knows it! The point is We Are All Incels Now. Double Meaning
Meaning The Same Thing! I think I did that exact joke a month or two
ago. But, hey, Here It Is Again for your convenience! Man
that Klonopin and Beer is really slowing my heart rate down! Presumably.
That's what Internet told me would happen and I don't find The Internet to be
one to Speak Out Of Turn. Unless Alexa thinks you're talking to her.
I had a classmate named Alexa from Kindergarden Through, I dunno, 5th
grade? All the way to 8th grade? And the point is of my ~31
classmates of that time I know Very Little about Alexa and engaged with her
even less. Just never made an impression on me! I Don't Care I'm
Lettin' It Hang All Out Now! Sure I'd say her last name but I'm not
even 100% Sure SHE HAD a last name.
Why. I saw Ivanka (Trump) is setting up a
program for those put out of work to find a new job in a new field! I'm
hoping she's gonna teach us how to get jobs at the White House By Being A Direct
Relative of Trump. How do we forge some Birth Certificates to make it look
like we're related to Trump? Then we'll be taken care of.
Well when you put it that way It Sounds Down Right Criminal! And at the
very least reckless, immoral, and irresponsible. That wasn't my
intention! My intention was HOW CAN I FORGE A TRUMP RELATIONSHIP I
NEED TO PAY FEES FO MY FAMILY. DISNEYPLUS FEES. NETFLIX FEES.
ALL THE STREAMING SERVICE FEES! There must be some chance we
live in a Pretty Decent future and we're all like Hmm, that Trump Presidency,
lets NEVER DO THAT again! Probably won't happen, not to the degree
we'd want. But it couldn't hurt to dream. Unless you die in your
dream. Then you're dead. I've probably said that several times
And I'll Said It again!
I don't buy into Trump only having a 7% chance of winning
election. But I do think he's a severe underdog, but that could mean even
just a 20% chance he wins, that's totally plausible and wouldn't be a shock
Mathematically. So the point is we all must unite against Trump.
Call it a, "Popular Coup." Hey this majority of people are trying to
beat me in an election THIS WILL NOT STAND IN A DEMOCRACY! Sounds
illegal, right? It's Presidential Harassment! I think there's some
innate part of that phrase where it betrays Trump's thinking, IM THE
PRESIDENT BOW BEFORE ME ANYTHING LESS IS HARASSING ME I'M THE ULTRA RULER IN
CHARGE! A SOLID CLOSE TO A MAJORITY OF VOTERS SAID AS MUCH ALMOST
FOUR YEARS AGO!
On This Website Two Hours A Day
well. Maybe a bonus paragraph or two. At this rate I could
have had the Soup Meal anyway. Oh well. Now I get to look
forward to dinner tonight. Which is the Soup + Sandwich. Anyway
better start working on some notes for Next Year Today. I think its
possible-- not likely, but possible-- that Pandemic teaches us We Can Live A
Reasonably Close Lifestyle to what we're accustomed with And Fight Global
Warming to an extent that's socially, politically, and economically sustainable.
What other lesson can we learn? How about No Lesson. Yeah but
where's the Lesson in that. Hey this chicken nuggets are pretty good!
I wonder how Dick Van Dyke is doing. Probably find
out after this paragraph. I haven't seen them deal with Necrophilia yet.
Figure that's Ripe Ground For Parody! The point is YES I wish I could
watch a #SpikeLeeSummerToRemember but the logistics just aren't there!
Alright. 68 or so Hours until next drink. Well when you put it
that way It Sounds Like Nothin'! I'd be asleep for a solid One and a Third
Days Over those 3 days! Sure I sleep 10-12 huors a night Get Off My
Back about It. Hmm I wonder if I can buy, "Spirits," from FreshDirect.
Hey they do sell Spirits! I'ma switch it up to Spirits for the next
week! I Ain't Fraid Of No Ghosts! Yes I am. Ghosts
terrify me. What if there ARE ghosts? And their main purpose in Life
is to Terrify Me? Sems like the only plausible scenario! I'll see
you guys later.
July 13, 2020
Me, Like Me
Fascinating. Idea for a 1960's sitcom/1970-80's rock band crossover--
Dick Van Halen. Wonderful now it's all worth it. Ya know,
Life? I think the song I'm most familiar with from Van Halen is the
cover of You Really Got Me: The Popular Music Song. Got an appointment
with Endocrinologist fo this Thursday that I have to cancel. If I don't
cancel it, who will step up and do it for me? nobody that's who!
It's so hard to get good Help. Also if I Had The Help like in
that Popular Film Production #1 responsibilities-- Make and Cancel
all my appointments. WHy do they have to make them in the first place
only to be cancelled later? I Get Off On Having Appointments Scheduled
That I Don't Have To Go To, that's why! Pretty obvious reasoning,
totally plausible scenario.
Also I know that's supposed to be a White Savoir movie,
but from my recollection (which is probably wrong), its just like hey this
young white lady is gonna write about your negative experiences being Some Sot
Of Helper Or What Not Presumably. Great what does that do.
Hey people are reading about this and enjoying it and maybe its changing a few
minds about how we treat and abuse Helping People, but what good does that
do THE HELP. Also calling them, "The Help," is directly framing them as
Other Than Most People. They're not Just People they're THE HELP!
Very dehumanizing and don't give me some that's not how it was intended
give me some that maybe wasn't how it was intended but That's Instinctually
how its read for some people GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.
Hey maybe its just referring to Emma Stone as The Help.
That's even worse!!! The point is I know that movie got 13 Oscars and
I think they should have to return every one of them except two which, c'mon,
let's let them have At Least Two Oscars They've Learned Their Lesson!
They're sorry just look at 'em. 12 Angry Oscars. That's the
Sesame Street version of Spiderman: Some Spider Verse. Oscar is
Accurately, "Angry," its synonymous with being a, "Grouch," more or less.
Also I was never on board with Sesame Street because who am I supposed to
relate to here. Oscar lives in a garbage can and is a jerk, okay, not
relating to him. Big Bird is a horrifying six foot bipedal bird, I want no
part of that! The Count is a Dracula, no kids WANTS to be a Dracula.
Burt and Ernie are just plain WEIRD. Cookie Monster is a monster
with an eating disorder, and Grover is also a monster and, lets face it, a
snooze. I guess Elmo is the closest you can get to someone kids can latch
on to. Alright I guess I'm on board with Elmo, glad we figured this one
Well, they're ALL monsters I guess. I dunno, what else
is going on and crap. I always related to that Bob Ross and/or his
successor I forget what their name was. LMLTURQ. I dunno.
The point is he was some guy PROBABLY NOT Bob Ross who painted stuff on a canvas
and You Watched Him Do It. I enjoy this for some reason I can't define.
Maybe because I only saw it when I was home sick from school. Which for
the most part means I Was Just Home From School we can drop the, "Sick," act.
Also Home sick from school What The What who goes to school and is like MAN
I MISS HOME! Some people? Especially kids with tumultuous home
lives? I dunno Sounds like a scam to me. La La Land?
More like LA LA LA END. I made that joke a year or two ago!
This time presumably phrased it to be 13% better!
I feel like I made some progress watching stuff but not #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.
Might have been went back to some Interventions. Coulda sworn a
movie showed up last night or something. I won't Sworn this time around
not 100% confident about it. Anyway. Lunch today gonna be some
sandwich with some side. I don't have all the details yet! Yes
I Do. I just didn't wanna bore you. So basically I'm A Hero This
Paragraph. Is it possible I was watching a Bob Ross but under a
different assumed identity? Maybe he had to go to the Witness
Relocation Program, couldn't stand to be away From His Work, and went back to
Painting For Kids TV Shows with a new Name And a new Face. It's the only
PLAUSIBLE way to explain it! I've Seen Those Paintings Of Sail
Boats Before WAIT A SECOND THIS MUST BE...
I think I think the Bible was on to something
but then they had to turn it into a White Savoir Book. Pretty much That's
What Happened, right? Except for the Bible being on to something.
They're wrong about everything! I'm just kidding Bible is right about
20% of things. None of The Stories, about a good Half Of The Morals Of
The Stories And Whatnot, that'd be my guess. My favorite self-referential
story is The Tower Of Bible. It's about people who couldn't decide what
language the Bible should be in and then God struck down the tower they were
building to God. Presumably because he was feelin' some pressure.
Oh man this tower is gettin' pretty big, bordering on Nine Stories, in 20th
century architecture measurements, and also in J.D. Salinger's Title
Terminology, but the point is they're ALMOST UP TO GOD!!! Who is me! I
better knock this down before they get a glimpse of What I Got Going On Up Here!
And also now they speak different languages fomr some reason That Settles That!
If you believe that story, and know for a fact Now We Have
Towers that reach 100 Stories, doesn't it Not Add Up? Also the fact that
we reached the moon. Were there some people in the 1960s' who were like
well if this Moon stuff doesn't pan out MAYBE WE'LL REACH HEAVEN!
Probably because Some People In Any Decade are stupid. It's like
giving Columbus Credit for proving the World Was Round. It's giving JFK Or
His 1960's Successors Credit For Proving There Is A Moon. Hey great news
that joke made me think of the thing I thought of last night but didn't write
down because it was nothing so I forgot. Lotta presidents in that time
period who went by their 3 Initials. FDR, JFK, LBJ. Five
Three out of Five Consecutive Presidents. Really makes ya think.
You Mention It
mentioned anything. I just saw that Biden's lead over Trump in
AveragedCalculatedForEffects Polls is DOWN TO 8.9%! We can't allow
this! We must raise it to 9.4%! I dunno where I got that
number from but IT MUST BE 9.4% NO MORE NO LESS. That's a fair
compromise, right? Also what do you mean that's not how polls work.
That sounds like a lie. DAMMIT WHY DID BIDEN HAVE TO ONLY LEAD BY
7, 9, and 8% IN THREE SEPARATE POLLS TODAY THE WHOLE THING IS GOING TO SHIT.
And wAnd who knows the partisan lean of this pollster. IT COULD BE
1% DEM. SO HE'S ONLY UP 6, 7, 8%! FUCK I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN OVERCONFIDENT!!! I was never overconfident. When Internet
told me it was (and still is) roughly 85-90% Biden Looking, then I WAS ONLY
85-90% confident! Confidence ins a Spectrum and I'm 85% confident about A
Lot Of Things! Internet still says it's NINETY ONE percent Biden but
after these three polls that's gonna be down to 48% ON ACCOUNT OF NOW HE'S
GOT THE MOMENTUM.
I hate being downstairs when my parents are watching
CNN or MSNBC, because in every individual moment I'm just thinking well
you're gonna fuck this up for us aren't you. I know it's not good to
count on Media to do the right thing because Media has a choice to Report Well
or Not Report Well. But the point is every time I'm exposed to it I'm
like, on a second by second basis, preparing myself to Hear Some Bullshit which
would Be irresponsible journalism and/or Help Trump ib the Abstract Overallitude.
Anyway I rescheduled that appointment! I feel like I mentioned that
before. The point is 8.9? Whoever, what, huh. I guess its
time to throw in the towel! Sounds about right. I had a
dream I was reading Crazysheet on some sort of computer/phone//tablet/whatever,
but the point was, the device I was reading it with, each paragraph only took up
2 or 3 lines. And I was like this is NO WAY to read my website it looks
like each paragraph is 2 sentences ugh this has all gone to putt!
The point is if it drops down to 87% Biden Chance Win
then uhh I forgot. I saw Chance The Rapper is on Team Kanye.
Has anyone ever noticed how Kayne is an anagram for Yankee. I did!
Just now! I kept writing Team Yanke like 4 times in a row. So we
all learned a little something from this paragraph. I know very little
about Chance The Rapper but if I remember anything he's no Community Chest The
Rapper. Anyway if I know anything about Chance The Rapper it's that he's
presumably a rapper (I'm comfortable Sworning He Is!) but also he's a serious
guy! He takes politics and activism seriously! I feel like I've seen
him on William Maher: The Politically Incorrect Scarecrow. Wait a
second he was ANTI Bill Maher. He asked HBO to drop Bill Maher.
Well, I knew it was SOMETHING with Bill Maher, don't I get credit for that?
Also I'm generally anti-Bill Maher, too, so now me and Chance have something
else in common.
Anyway lunch comin' up in about half an hour. We're
talkin... well.. same stuff we were taklin' about Last Section. The point
is I Can't Wait To See Kanye's Running Mate. You know its gonna be good.
What's the over/under on if its Kim Kardashian? I'd bet roughly even money
one way or the other with that one. Hah. Microsoft FrontPage
thinks I'm trying to say Carpathian. That's where The Evil Painting in
Ghostbusters II is from. Vigo the Carpathian. That'd be an
interesting running mate for Kanye. Either Vigo the Carpathian or
maybe the Giant Marshmallow from GhostBusters I. Of course, topping all of
them would be Rick Moranis. Alrihgt, 1st bet is Kim Kardashian. 2nd
most likely thinking is Kanye Runs As His Own Vice President. 3rd most
likely is Kanye says Jesus is his vice president. That's about all I
The point is Being Up 8.9% in National Polls Is Amazing
but IT'S TRENDING DOWNWARD over the last 12 hours. We need a Course
Correction and Quick! I'd like to offer my services by saying what the
hell does that new slogan mean. "Build Back Better." That's his
new Campaign Promise. I don't know what it means! I mean I guess it
means We Will Build Country Back To Before But Better." But, I
dunno sounds very grammatically weird! And logically weird! Do you
wanna build it back or build it better! Pick A Lane! No the lane
we're picking is BOTH. That's the campaign promise! We will Build [you
get the infrastructure vote] Back [Chiropractor vote] Better
[Gambler's vote IF AND ONLY IF YOU ALLOW PUNS]. Anyway I'll be back in a
Yes, I Do Enjoy Entries
I flipped a coin whether to say Entries or Titles. Then I
realized Coins only have Heads Or Tails. For some reason I was thinking
one side of Coins said, "Titles," and the other one was, "Entries."
Suddenly this coin is useless to me now! Hmm. Was taking out
the garbage 2 nights ago and it struck me that It Is Summer. I totally was
like HEY I REMEMBER THIS! Warm Summer Nights. Being inebriated on
Marijuana but Now On Alcohol. The point is I got lunch going.
Half Ham Half Turkey sandwich. Some frozen Frenched Fries. How
are Joe Biden's poll numbers in The Last Eight Minutes. You think I'm
joking! I'm Gonna LTURQ! Still the same. What am I
gonna do for dinner. Still got some Fresh Fresh Direct Salmon Filets.
It brings me great comfort to know that Trump checks his
Approval Rating 5 times a Day And 95% of the times he's like well this is
fake news, no way this is true. Obviously it's all being rigged against
me. Why is that comforting? I. Don't. Know.
Everyone knows Math is rigged against Trump. Common knowledge!
Anyway what else do I got going on for the rest of the day. Haven't
watched a Horrific Movie in a while. Not since Sleep Doctor, and that was
a Re-watch! I think I had a dream last night where I was like I think
I'd like to see Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Again. It was an
okay movie! Could have been Great but it was Okay! And onw I wanna
re-live all that adequacy again! In my dreams!
Anyway that was a good sandwich. Turns out SuperMarket
didn't Have my Special Roast beef at all. Or else they had it and just
didn't send it to us to be jerks! Probably they just didn't have it.
Man oh man what if I had A Decadent Breakfast Sandwich For Dinner.
Man oh man indeed! The point is DAMN YOU REDFIELD AND WINSTON
STRATEGIES FOR CONDUCTING TWO POLLS WHERE BIDEN IS ONLY UP 7 AND 8 PERCENTAGE
POINTS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. AAnyway.
Trump has a less than 2% chance of winning the popular vote. That can't
be right. There's gotta be a 2 percent chance Biden IS DEAD by November,
right? And I'm not playing into the Biden is old gambit.
Trump is old, too! In fact I'd say if there's a 2% chance Biden is dead by
November, there's a THREE percent chance Trump is dead by November! And
that's including all the Scams And Conspiracies where Sitting President Is
Protected From Death Somehow For Some Reason. They saw what happened to
JFK and they were like NEVER AGAIN WE WILL USE MAGIC TO PREVENT PRESIDENT DEATH.
Sounds about right. My Dad had a Hot Take that if
Trump is still behind in the polls he'll drop Pence and pick a NEW VP presumably
Nicki Haley. I dunno. Doesn't really get to the Crux of Trump's
negative polling. Although I can se Trump believing that and
acting on that. Hmm stuck at 41% in approval ratings and general
election polls... well clearly its this deadweight Mike Pence whose responsible
for this! Sounds about right. And also we combined on a Hot Take
where Trump is touting a Medicine Cure for Coronavirus weeks before the election
btu is like We've got it, it won't be ready until after the election, but if
you change presidents now its over, you have to go back to square one.
Something along those lines. Which seems An Accurate Prediction but maybe
not a huge deal if everyone realizes He's Full Of Shit. Which, I think
people are catching on to!
8.9%?!?!? Why, that means if 10% of Biden supporters
go to Trump.. uhh... then it's roughly an even race? I didn't Crunch
The Numbers But My Instinct is EveryThingElse Stays The Same, but 10% of Current
Biden Supporters go to Trump, that's around a 50/50! Cause 10% of a 50% is
5%. Up by 8.9? Drop 5% from Biden, add 5% or so to Trump... probably
slightly in Trumps Flavor! GOD DAMN THIS 1 OUT OF 10 BIDEN SUPPORTER HE'S
GONNA FUCK EVERYTHING UP. However maybe we can get 1 Out Of 200 TRUMP
Supoprters to go to Biden! Basically we have to negotiate it properly but
let's just agree Biden Shuold Be President, we go into the negotiations with
that being the main principle. Sounds like a fair way to go about it.
Anyway. Still got 2/3rds of a beer.
The Ice Cream I've been having says the serving size is 2/3rds of a cup!
True Story! I had ice cream cone for breakfast the last two mornings.
True Story! Build Back Better. What about Build Bigger
Better. ...Why do we need a Tongue Twister Campaign Promise
anyway. The The Tower of Babel Stairway To Heaven ended up in a Real
Big Tongue Twister. All tongues were twisted into strange and foreign
languages! True Story! Wait, no it isn't. Ya Got Me
There! Anyway. I guess. Hmm any good Horrific Movies I can
watch. I'll figure something out don't you worry. Anyway, I'll
keep you updated on any Hot Takes My Dad Has. Figure that's my main
purpose in life these days. Being a Vessel for My Dad's Hot Takes.
I'll see ya later.
July 12, 2020
Some Title Would You
Huh. Got some more Groceries Delivered Today.
Pretty much everything I wanted including DECADENT BREAKFAST SANDWHICH I HAVEN'T
HAD IN A MONTH! We're talkin' On Biscuit instead of On
Croissant. Those are the two main verities of Decadence Bread.
Sometimes I try to spell Croissant accurately and sometimes I Never Spell
Croissant accurately. Unless I'm looking at it from when it showed up
Seven Words Ago. Like, just now. I was able to knock it out of
the park seeing a spruced-up, "Spell-checked," version of the word in my eye
sight. When I was a kid I didn't know anything about Croissants until the
scene in Godzilla: The Version With Matthew Broderick, and there's a team of
French people who get Donuts From Dunking Donuts and one of them is like No
Croissant? And I correctly sorta picked up some sort of French
Fascinating. Of course now Dunkin Donuts and The
Like all sell croissants. Spelled it right THAT TIME NO PROBLEM!
Anyway thank god for Godzilla otherwise we might not have Basic French
Culinary Options. Here in the states, I mean. In France they
presumably had some idea of Croissants even before the worldwide smash
hit, "Godzilla: The Version That Presumably Lost Around Only One Hundred Million
Dollars. Hey I liked the movie well enough. The main big
excitement sequence at the end were Mini Godzillas running around and it's
pretty much like Raptors from Jurassic Park. And it's underground.
Under Madison Square Garden. And Hank Azaria is there gotta figure that
was on purpose and what they intended to do. They cast him for the,
"Youth," Vote. Because he was on a cartoon. Children are people
who sometimes watch cartoons! Is it possible the God in our
Judeo-Christian(-Muslimic) tradition is Just A Godzilla? I'd think that
throw people for a loop but then they'd be like, well, I spend 80 years
pledging to believe in and support God... turns out he's a Godzilla... well pot
committed at this point, what can ya do!
Sounds like fun! That would explain the Easter
Eggs. Reptiles lay eggs. Now reptiles have to do with Easter!
If God is a Godzilla then Jesus (One of the protagonists in the ensemble cast of
Easter) is half Godzilla! Anyway. Did God do any courtship with
Mary. Or was he just like you my bottom bitch carry this seed for my
son c'mon you ain't got shit else to do get with the program. Or was
God all affectionate and compassionate and flirty with Mary and really carried
on a personal relationship As Much As A God Godzilla can. Probably
somewhere in between. Treated her with respect but at the same time
he's like I'm GOD I can't spend all my time with this one woman.
I'M NEEDED ELSEWHERE she's just gonna have to raise this kid herself.
Does God raise Jesus at all? Legit question. That I'll look up
myself at some point. Or is it basically like when Jesus turns 13 his mom
is like I got something to tell you. So the point is basically Our
Almighty God, Godzilla, Is A Lowlife, Deadbeat Dad, per my understanding.
Ugh. Googled Did God Raise Jesus and Google's
interpretation is about Jesus being risen as in Easter Fables. Alright
Googled Did God Raise Jesus As A Child and based on preliminary reporting
it looks like No. Sounds about right. Hey Godzilla why did
you send your only son to show up for a few decades and do some stuff. And
God is like Ohh it's all part of the plan! I give God Godzilla
Credit For Nothing. He ain't got no plan he's playing this by ear just
like Our Current World Protagonist Donald Trump. The point I'm trying to
make is I'd be 100x more comfortable with President Godzilla than President
Trump. Then again, despite all his corruption, Trump would probably
keep DC somewhat, slightly less Swampy than Godzilla.
Godzilla is elected, fuck, Act Number One is lets get this build up the SWAMP
get this place NICE AND SWAMPY! And STAT I GOT THINGS TO DO!
Reptiles live in Swamp. That's been my experience from Obtaining
Encyclopedia Knowledge From Watching Movies.
I may have mentioned this before, but do you ever notice
a bug crawling on you, often not an airborne bug, and its just like on the
center of your arm, and you're like how did I notice this Just Now and not 5
seconds ago. It must have been on your arm for a few minutes at lesat
and then Suddenly NOW I become aware of it? Doesn't add up!
Sounds like a Scam to me. The point is Donald Trump the closest thing
we can get to President Godzilla and his version of living in a swamp is
elevating the class of criminal that He Is and Associates With? Sounds
about right but I Like Godzilla More. Sometimes Godzilla is our friend!
More than we can say about Trump! Anyway gonna take a short break.
I'll be back in a little bit!
Have Sworn I Had Another Title
will Sworn! Saying I could have sworn-- there's No Stakes to
that at all! Anyway the point is God Made Man In His Image but maybe God
Was Such A Bad Artist That He Was Godzilla And Man Was The Closest He could get.
Well that can't be it, because he made Real Zillas i mean Real Reptile versions
of whatever Godzilla is. A Gila Monster? Heh that's a funny name.
A REALLY funny name. First I was like lol Gila that's funny.
And then I was like, WAIT AS SECOND THEY'RE DESCRIBED AS MONSTERS IN THEIR
OFFICIAL SCIENTIFIC NAME! That seems in poor taste and kinda of a
Dick Move from ... anthropologists? Whose the scientist who studies
animals. Zoooligists. Hmm pretty close to ZILL-ologists I
Smell A Scam A Brewin'! The point is I think I accomplished
everything I wanted to in this paragraph.
Maybe God is Godzilla IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE and/or IT
SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'ma err on the side of
estimating it's around 50/50 for both those things. In perpetuity.
Everything I say has been done and/or shouldn't have been done. Seems
about right, what else ya got going on! Started that Breakfast
Sandwich for Lunch In The Oven. It's good for you because it tastes good.
If it wasn't good for you it'd taste bad. That's Elemental Evolutionary
Zoology & Anthropology. Also I think we can all agree That Word should be
pronounced ZOO-ALL-OH-GEE. But it's Spelled Zoo-Lo-Gee.
So we either need to adjust how we're pronouncing it, or change how its spelled
in the dictionary. Make a choice right now because I don't want this
debate clogging up our political discourse for the next few months or years!
Hmm. Sounds about right. Does anyone go to
work for the dictionary thinking I'm Gonna Blow This Operation Up From The
Inside! I know there was a lot of upset people when they added
Irregardless a week ago. Twitter informed me as much. The point
is oh right anarchistic wordworkers. Look the Dictionary already
has Flammable and Inflammable. Why not an Irregardless.
Also is it really safe for a dictionry to have the word Fire in
there? What if you're reading the dictionary in a crowded theater?
There's always that risk is all I'm saying. I was reading back on my 200
Tweets for the 2 or so years I tweeted. One good one was Is it okay to
yell, "Theater," in a crowded fire? It's funny because It Makes You
Anyway still stuck where I've been for the last 2 days on
Star Wars. Such is life I guess. #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething and
the Do Something is Finish Watching The #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething. I'll
follow through and do that for some reason no one is really sure of.
Another DVD I look at often is Reservoir Dogs and every time I look at
the title I think of Reserve Our Dogs. I have the memory of Saying
That Before but it might just be because I Think That Before All The Time.
It's like I've Said It To Myself three dozen times in the last month. Also
that's one out of 10% or so of DVDs that I watched Maybe Once and that was it.
I'm not sure if I ever watched Cruel Intentions, but I there were
sex scenes that I enjoyed before getting the DVD so I figured getting the DVD
couldn't hurt. Similar thing with Eyes Wide Shut. I dunno if I ever
saw that movie and I was a big Kubrick Fanboy in high school!
I think part of it is I remember the ads for it when I was
~10 years old and obviously and correctly thinking this movie is too Adult
for me. The only problem is I never got to the point where I'm Adult
Enough FOr That Movie. I STILL think it's too adult for me and I'm 31
years old! Also I can't play DVDs on my computer so the discussion is
Moot! Also Clockwork Orange bothers me now! There are Rape
Scenes that make me uncomfortable! Also A Space Odyssey makes me
uncomfortable, too! Too high stakes! Same with Dr. Strangelove.
AND LOLITA... the point is I Was A Huge Kubrick Fanboy but I couldn't watch 75%
of his movies if you paid me. Well, if you paid me. Also,
if you held my eyes opened mechanically, I'd have no choice! And
oddly, The Shining, probably what should disturb people the most-- I've
seen enough times that It's a Fun movie for me! The point is one day I'll
be old enough to watch Stanley Kubrick movies. Maybe when I'm 41.
Mad, I'm Just Disappointed
great. I just started a new roll of toilet paper but it turns out I had a
2/3rds of a roll of toilet paper that I misplaced for some reason. Sure
I misplace toilet paper. I don't have the time or discipline to Hook
Up Toilet Paper to that nice Wheeley circle that can cycle down each time you
want a Ply or Two. I just rest the roll up on top of Sink Counter.
And rip paper off manually. It's more convenient that way! Anyway
just had a fight with Parents about I Put Too Much Stuff In Freezer. I
guess I see their point of view I Am A Bad Son and this is the main evidence of
it! Such is life I guess. What else is going on and crap.
Oh, right. Got lunch in about 20 minutes. Well if My Parents
Don't Respect Me whats the point anyway. No amount of lunch will Ever
Be Good Enough as far as they're concerned!
Got some Supermarket Sushi for dinner tonight. It's
Decadent because It's Japan. Yep seems to check out. I had 2
of the 9 pieces already! Taste Test! Tasted Good! We're talkin'
Shrimp Sushi. 2of the 9 pieces had full-out shrimp tempura with a tail and
everything! I hate those 2 pieces! The rest is just Sushi But I Can
Live With That! Just gotta pair it with more food that'd be the
equivalent of 2 Sushi with Tails. Huh? I mean, oh! That's
one of maybe a dozen or so specific memories I have drom Disney World. A
hibachi place in Epcot, most likely in, "Little Japan." Of course, these
days, Hibachi is THE ONLY Place where Food is safe. There's no
waitresses or anything to cough on it. The chef is a few feet away from
sneezing on it. Cooked, Flipped Right At Ya, no fuss no muss we should All
be eating Hibachi All The Time. The premise of that joke kinda doesn't
make sense. But, if it did make sense, it'd be a solid bit!
That's my feeling.
My dream is to one way be wealthy enough to just take an
entire roll of toilet paper and just wipe my ass with that. No worrying
about my shit seeping through 1 ply. Just an entire roll for each wipe.
Also I would never do that wasting is BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. No
matter if I can afford it or not! It's Ain't Good to waste environment
things! Anyway about 1/2 way through Decadent Lunch. Figure I'll
finish that sushi for dinner tonight, what, you want me to wait for it to go
bad? What kinda friend are you. You want to see me get food
poisoning? Why would food poison a person it'd have no motive.
Another person POISONING someone with SOMETHING IN THE FOOD, that I get. But
don't blame the food its totally innocent! Mmm that biscuit is good.
Jeez. Maybe instead of the 2/9 Sushis I can have
Another Breakfast Sandwich. Seems about right. My favorite thing
when I eat Frozen Foods is to leave over some sauce or spare cheese or something
and I'm like well clearly I am the model of self control and I am not even
reaching the Calorie Level On The Box they said this would be. I'm a
healthy guy because I only eated 95% of the breakfast sandwich and left over 2%
of it which was cheese Sure I know Math 97% is the most you can get of
something! I dunno, what else. Not sure what to make of the boy
band 98 degrees. That sounds very unhealthy. I've heard of
fevers where people are above 98.7 degrees, and I've heard of People Being Dead
at room temperature, but I've never heard of people at 98 Degrees.
MMM just scooped up some leftover cheese with my fingers.
Well That Settles That! Wait WaiWait I was specifically
trying to remember Not To Eat It cause the leftover cheese fell on the floor and
then I put it back on the plate Cuase I Was Done but then I Forgot.
There's still SOME left over cheese just Not As Much As Previously! July
12th, huh? Sounds like somebody is SEVEN TWELFTHS INTO A BIRTHDAY!
31 & 7/12ths. I hope someone start streaming Full Metal Jacket I think I
can do it without closing my eyes this time! Hey another entry down.
Was it good? No! Was it a C+? Yes! I'm comfortable
assuming the role of C Pluss-er. Not too good, not too bad!
I'll C+ the rest of my life if I have to! Luckily there is no scenario
where I have to. I may either be required to do Better Than A C+,
or I will be required to Not Achieve Any Grade At All. Such is life I
guess! I'll see ya tomorrow.
July 11, 2020
thinking about how much Humanity has progressed over the last century. So
much progress! Basically Now We Look At Light Bulbs 75% of our Waking
Lives. First it was once once a week at the movies. Then it was an
hour or so a day at TV. Then bump that up another hour or so once Cable,
Premium Channels show up. Another Two or Three Hours with Personal
Computers. Then another hour or two with Tivo/On Demand, then another hour
with Streaming services, another hour with More-than-just-talk-Cell phones.
Just a whole lot of Staring At Lightbulbs. I konw the light plays
around and it looks like we're Looking At Real Life Images but lets face the
facts it's just multi-colored lightbulbs!
Fascinating. I'm not exaggerating when I say,
personally, I stare at light bulbs around 3 or 4 times as much as I Don't Stare
At Light bulbs! Hey, when in Rome, right? WHEN I WAS A
KID, WE HAD TO STARE AT REAL LIGHTBULBS. Sounds about right.
I would have continued that joke but I Was Confused As To Who Was Saying It.
Then figured I'd just bail on that JokePremise altogether! Anyway, I had a
Great Idea for a movie while I was asleep and woke up and wrote it down.
Movie About Qnon. Lets face it, there's millions of Americans who have
bought into this crap and Something Needs To Be Done About Getting Them Back.
A well written and produced (even assisted by Producers!) movie about Qnon is
JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED. Uh oh Doctor is part of pizza gate.
Trying to implant Hollywood into our kids contact lenses. Coronavirus is
only spread through Gay Marriage.
Anyway, I dunno. What else is crappening.
What if the basic Tenet of Qnon was stop looking at light bulbs. As
far as I know, it's possible that's the main gist of it! In which
case I AGREE but we have different ideas about How To Get There! Also I
disagree I LOVE This Lightbulb Life! It's very decadent and I'd hate to
give it up. Also, I' no expert on Qnon, but is the premise that
there's literally this guy Qnon, whose one guy, and obviously he's making crap
up, but the followers think he's an insider about to blow the whole story
open... The point is is there really Just One Guy In Real Life whose duping
these folks? Can we out him or something? Seems like it should be
possible. Even if its 2 or 3 guys, lets out them as well. I'd
like to see what jerks are responsible for this and What They're All About!
Waking Lives Matter. That's my hot take on Abolishing Light Bulbs.
Huh? What else is going on. I wanna start
that trend. Just do some Batman or Spiderman-esque Development of existing
technology to make some glasses that light up like light bulbs. That'll
get people talking! Possibly in a bordering on neutral way! In the
sense of look we're neutral about this guy but something must be done about
his light bulb glasses. Sounds vaguely neutral to me! Anyway.
Closest thing to Qnon Movie I came up with was how they made that
Slenderman Movie. Qnon and Slenderman are pretty much the exact same
thing. Except one is for pre-teenage girls and the other one is for
high-school-at-most-educated adult white males presumably for the most part.
That'd be my guess at least. The point is we'd all be a lot happier if
Qnon was posted on Creepy Pasta. Because that's part of the
scam! PastaGate is just a natural progression of Pizza Gate and it being
creepy WELL YEAH PIZZA GATE IS PEDOPHILIA OBVIOUSLY THAT'S CREEPY CREEPY PASTA
GATE IS PART OF THE SCAM! Is that how Qnon people really
think? I think that's more or less how it goes.
The point is they think kinda like Me Specifically On
This Website but 90% more nonsensical and 60% more buying into thinking that
what they think is Actually Something. I'll buy into some of my
nonsense, sure. But the point is I don't think its evidence of a
Worldwide Pasta Gate, I just think hmm this is evidence of some sort of
clever thinking on my part! Well done Me!. Which itself is Way
Off It's Just Nonsense but At Least It Don't Hurt Nobody! Anyway gonna
start my 1st beer of Probably 3 right now! Lets go! Anyway. I
don't know whether I'm joking around seeing Lunch Emphasis on Dick Van Dyke
show. In 2 of the last 3 episodes them eating lunch is a legitimate Plot
Point again. Maybe I really am tuned into some Pizza/Sandwich/PastaGate
conspiracy but it's not a conspiracy it's just the fact that Lunch Really Is
Universally Loved especially by writers trying to write some writing.
Sounds about right. The premise of the episode
that I'm watching made me laugh out loud. Just reading the 1 sentence.
Richie runs into the house screaming that he has been pecked on the head by a
giant woodpecker. Hilarious! I never saw that one coming!
The point is Great What Else Is Going On. I feel like if I was born 10
years later I would have been a Creepy Pasta reader. As opposed to being a
Snopes.com reader At My Age. Which is still probably better but what are
ya gonna do. Also I think Creepy Pasta is a pretty good title.
At fist you're like what's so creepy about pasta but then you think about
it and think about it and you're like ya know what THIS PASTA WORD CHOICE IS
PRETTY GOD DAMN CREEPY!
7/11. Happy Convenience Store Day. I was thinking about What Turning
To The Dark Side, for me specifically, Would Look Like. Well, first of
all, it implies I Am Not On The Dark Side Now. In which case great!
But, if I am already on the darkside already, Oh well I don't know WHY
but I guess I'm too far gone oh well such is life. But, yeah.
Let's say I do end up getting a job being creative. But then I sell out my
ideals in order to remain neutral-at-best politically and at-worst promote
ideals and whatnot that I don't agree with at all. Sounds pretty Dark
Sidey to me. Then again what if I get a job creatively and I'm like hmm
I can only continue working if I agree to sell out in some way, but in actuality
I'd be, "On The Darkside," to not take that job and have my, "Neutral Family,"
God damn Family WHY THEY GOTTA BE NEUTRAL. If only my
Wife and kids were Very Clearly With The Force or Very Clearly On The Dark Side,
I'd be able to make all my decisions around that! In terms of whether I'm
On Board With My Family Or Not. Hmm really makes ya think I guess.
Maybe that's the Most Dark Side thing I can do. Be a Dumb
Antagonististic Father And Husband. They deserve so much better this
imaginary neutral family unit. On the other hand, maybe MY FAMILY
ARE THE ANTAGONISTS and I'm The PROTAGONIST! You
ever think about that one? Also I was trying to imagine how
Conservative Politicians/Media people would react to the question Are YOU
QNON? And, based on absolutely nothing but My Power With The
Force, I imagined the standard answer being Laughing and then being like, "Ya
never know!" Which seems kinda a possible answer some people
would give? But it also betrays a sincerely diseased mind that they think
saying They Are Possibly A Head Of A Fictitious Conspiracy, and instinctually
feel that is a good and reasonable thing to say for Your Base to be on board
Then again, that isn't a GOTCHA! point. Because
I made up the entire discussion! Nobody asked that question, nobody
answered that question! I'll admit to It Being A Completely Dumb Way To
Try TO Make A Point! Heh. Antagonisticistic. Makes me
laugh. Was a mistake at first but Now I'm On Board With it! The
point is I never wanted to go to Walt Disney World until they told me I Can't Go
To Walt Disney World. I mean, until they ACCURATELY told me I can't
They're right I shouldn't! But if only I ahd thought MAYBE LAST YEAR to go
to Walt Disney World. I had to wait until It Was Too Late! Nah I
was waiting for a good reason. Figure'd I'd wait until I had a Neutral
Family to go to Walt Disney World, that makes sense. Also in the news
I see it described as Walt Disney World which is a lot funnier than just
Disney World. First thought was What if there was an Adolf Hitler
World and then my next thought was What the HELL why did I go from Walt
Disney to Adolf Hitler and then I was like Ya know what MAYBE I'M ONTO
Do people who make the point that Germany has
Concentration Camps open to teach the horrors of the holocaust as a way to
justify keeping Confederate Stuatues... do they really think that these Germany
Destination Hot Spots are like a HITLER WORLD! SEE where the Nazis
gassed people in their showers! SEE ...uh... Where the people slept in
close quareters per my understanding from the Documentary Life Is Beautiful!
I cant think of much else about the camps Maybe For The Best. Lots of
killing, lots of forced labor, and lots of Very Crowded Sleepovers. The
point is If Its Never Okay To Go To Disney World AGain Ever, why even BOTHER
having a family. I NEED A PLACE to WALK AROUND AND SPEND FUNBUCKS AND
STAND ON LINES FOR 2 HOURS FOR SOMETHING THAT TAKES 2 MINUTES.
ESPECIALLY THE FUNBUCKS! It's like spending money BUT MORE FUN!
I guess regular bucks are fun bucks. American History Funbucks.
Collect all the bills! George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander
Hamilton one would imagine... I think Ulysses Grant is on one of the upper
denominations... I don't think I've ever held a bill larger than 100$.
Anyway I was made privy to a Scam by watching Dick Van
Dykes. Per the plot of one of the episodes, they refer to the term mad
money as money a wife will siphon from her husband to spend when she's,
"Mad," at him and wants to get back at him. Meanwhile, per my
understanding, the premise of, "Mad Money," I got from watching those shows
where its like documentries of poeple who won the lottery, is that financial
avisors actually say stuff like Go out and spend some Mad Money just to drive
the point home that its Real and you should adjust to that thought. Just
get something you want off the top of your head and don't even really need."
And, a third thing, there was the Jim Kramer show, "Mad Money," which I think
was a pun because He Acted Insane on that show. All I remember was him
trashing the set every night and hitting his producers with baseball bats.
Ugh. The point is if I had some Mad Money I'd go to
Walt Disney World but first I'd have to devote my entire fortune and Life's Work
to stopping Current Pandemic. Someone's gotta do it, might as well be
My Mad Money that finances such an operation. The The point is four
more Star Wars movie to watch. Episodes VIII and IX and 2 one-offs.
And then its onto I dunno something else one would imagine. Lunch
comin' up in an hour or so. We're talkin' leftovers of Roast Chicken and
Potato Spheres! We are now! Before me no one was talking about it
now everyone, they can't stop talking about it, it's all anyone thinks about!
I enjoyed Trump's Rambling about how he made it known that Abraham Lincoln was
Republican. Because A) It's very on brand for him which is fun! and B)it
means he didn't know until recently that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican.
And I imagine he'll forget it again. And then claim credit for it again.
And that'll play out several dozen times when he's alone in the bunker doing a,
"Podcast," with himself but is really hust him talking into an unplugged
Pencil Sharpener. We had to unplug it to make sure he wouldn't hurt
himself. Also, for all the great things Technology can do, can't improve
on the pencil sharpener!
The point is that'd be a great book for literally EVERYONE.
Trump's Things People Know Thanks To Me! And its just a book of
things he's just been made aware of and/or things he's been aware of for a long
time but still fascinate him and/or things he made up completely but other
people think is true and he, in turn, thinks is true because he forgot he was
the one who made it up. A lotta the Third One, right? That's his
Achilles' heel! Making things up, getting dummies to repeat it, and
then he forgot he made it up and he's like well People Are SAYING THIS...
I think that is an accurate description of how things go in the echo chamber
that is his mind.
Where Was I
section of the entry! Another day down. Closing in on FREAKIN' FOUR
MONTHS OF ENTRIES WITHOUT A DAY OFF! Pandemic Don't Take No Days Off!
Except to go to Walt Disney World Presumably! One must assume they cut
a deal with Coronavirus to not show up at their parks because otherwise Man Oh
Man is that an irresponsible business practice, opening up in this pandemic!
I get that a lot of the blame goes to Florida for allowing it to happen, but I
haven't been reading any Anti-Disney hot takes. Gotta imagine that should
happen? C'mon you can Cancel DisneyWorld it's okay! We can always
have a DisneyWorld Reboot next summer! I'M JUST TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT
THING AND CANCELING DISNEYWORLD FOR THE SUMMER AND FALL IS THE RIGHT THING IN
Then again, I dunno! Ones gott assume that you can
go to some Disneyworld at a discount, right? They culd even make it free!
Just be like alright 100% of the revenue will be from Concession Sales and
the like. I LEARNED ABOUT IT FROM PLAYING ROLLER COASTER TYCOON!
You can either have your main revenue be Admission To The Park, or, have free
admission, but just jack up the prices on concessions and maybe some attractions
cost money individually and whatnot. The point is That Was A Really Fun
game but when you're designing your own roller coasters you're running the risk
that it will malfunction and you'll have some deaths on yyour hands. I
can't play games where innocent people die. Too stressful.
What else is crappening. Three or four more paragraphs.
I was never that into Grand Theft Auto, but I check every month or so for new
Updates on upcoming Grand Theft Auto VI. Because it's gonna be crazy!
I don't enjoy PLAYING the games but I enjoy the knowledge of Man Oh
Man SO MUCH WENT INTO THIS GAME. Huge environment and presumably a dozen
or so different cars and also you can stab people one would imagine. I
played Grant Theft Auto III either to completion on the PC or close to it.
I remember enjoying the Radio in Hijacked Cars. They had a lot of just
Real Fake Music. It's music that sound real in whatever genre yuo choose
for Radio, but it's just all made up specifically for the game! WOW!
I think for GTA: VI they just are gonna have 5000 new songs and that's another
part of the game that has just spiraled out uncontrollably. The point is
I wanna make my music known for being on the radio in a video game.
I'm not joking! I figure that'd be a really fun and cool way for one's
music career to go! They also had talk radio per my understanding. HHey
how about that. Yes I understand I started the paragraph saying
I Was Never That Into Grand Theft Auto and then, several sentences later, saying
I Probably Played One Of The Games To Completion. The point is that was on
the PERSONAL COMPUTER. I got GTA IV on Xbox 360 BUT NEVER MADE IT VERY
I'm gonna give Pro-Confederates the benefit of the doubt and
assume they don't think Concentration/Death Camps are essentially a HITLER
WORLD! enterprise. They probably think it's more like an Old West
Tourist Attraction. Like in this here saloon, that's where this outlaw
Jesseford James met his end with this sheriff, Sheriff Whatever. And
the insinuation was that oh they're both around as good as each other its an
ol' fashioned western shoot-out! They think Concentration Camp history
is like wand this is where the Nazis Finally Cornered the Jews so that they
could get working on That Final Solution that, as we now know, ended up not
panning out completely! Good ol' fashioned showdown between Jewish
People and the Nazis that were so often the thorn in their side!
Is it possible that Slender Man is Qanon? I dunno!
Is it possible that [some celebrity that is known for being overly thin] is
sleder man? I dunno! Hmm what's a good anorexic celebrity.
One Third of them. GOTTEM BASD ON NOTHING SEEMS LIKE AN APT, "GOTTEM."
If I was an actor or something I'd be anorexic. Pot committed to the whole
Gotta look good thing! Is it possible that these people are all
budding Muslims and they think they're following the Qoron? Very
Possible! I saw Cat Stevens is releasing a new album of His Best Songs
Re-recorded. I'm, "on board," with, "That." Not a lot of White -->
Muslim entertainers. Gotta cherish the One that we have! Anyway.
Qanon. FourChan. I was very pleased with myself the day I figured
out FourChan was a pun. Fortune. Dunno WHY that's a website
discussion board or whatever name. But it sure ckechs out as Meaning
Something more than the phrase, "Four Chan," means. HHmm Chan
can be Asian. Asian people are good at the internet. Just imagine
how good Four Chans would be. Sounds like really exceeding At Interets.
When I was a kid, one of the nerdiest internet things I
did was read fark.com. Which was like an aggregate News website. It
collected headlines from All The News and Top Blogs and Parody Newses and listed
'em all together. Also was inspiration for Crazysheet. Fark is
presumably a pun on Fuck. Crazysheet is a pun with Shit.
Now you know the shocking truth! I didn't know WHAT crazysheet would
be. I just registered the domain name. Then years later Started
the blog that we all know and tolerate and also very few of us know abstractly
but all of us Here know otherwise you made a wrong turn somewhere. The
point is I'm drinking Ginger Ale fro the first time IN MONTHS!
Hey here comes so lunch. I dunno why republicans
need a conspiracy to fantasize about a disruptive right wing insurgency in the
government. There IS a disruptive right wing insurgency in the government
its called Republicans! Zing'd em. Politics is like a video
game, One Zinger does nothing but 20 Zingers brings down the boss. 19
Zingers? Boss is doing fine, as strong as ever. Land the 20th
zinger? Down The Boss Goes. Anyway lots of good options for A Late
Dinner but right now I'm leaning towards Its Like Delivery It's Dijornio.
Still got almost a whole can of beer rationed out for the day. Endless
Dick Van Dykes at this point. A nice Dinner Whatever It Is coming up
later. Another fun Quarantine Day! I'll see you guys later.
July 10, 2020
I'll take the Over on that one. Dunno if that's Accurate Gambling
Lingo. What I meant to say was I Will Bet Even Money On It Sounding
Dumb. I will bet less than even money. Also, More than
even money. The point is I'm a Compulsive Gambler and you should be too!
Having One Compulsive Gambler in a social group, and no other, man oh man is
that Compulsive Gambler in for a tough time. He just keeps wanting to
compulsively gamble but no one is interested! Sounds like a fun Sitcom
Episode. Anyway I had a REAL idea for a fun sitcom, in totality, last
night-- takes place At The Circus. That's all I got so far.
Sounds about right. It's great except for the fact I Know Nothing
About Circuses, nobody else knows anything about circuses (do they even still
exist? and, if so, in what capacity?), nobody is interested in anything
about circuses, and also I think there was a show called The Circus which
probably wasn't about circuses but there's no way to know for sure.
Anyway #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething Update-- about 3/4ths
through Star Wars: The First One Of The Relatively Recent Ones: I Wanna Say
Episode Seven. My least favorite part is there's a scene where Harrison
Ford as Han Solo is like I used to doubt The Force, too, but it's real.
It's all real. And the way its shot and performed its like
maybe They're Really Trying to Convince The Film-Audience that it's real?
In which case that seems very morally irresponsible. Kids are watching
this movie! If Han Solo has dialogue confirming the existence of the force
Then We're Gonna Have Kids Doing Advanced Parkour All The Time In The Name Of
The Force! Gotta figure that's a fun, "Sport Activity," that the
force'll probably make easier. Do some parkour!
What else is going on and crap. I mean that's the
effect that dialogue had on me. I mean, 1/2 the movie is Winking To
The Audience because its like hey remember those other movies here's some
bits that you may get a kick out of. And dialogue confirming the
existence of the force? That falls along the same lines and now people are
gonna be confused re: Force Existing Or Not. I feel very strongly about
this. Anyway Spoiler Alert Han Solo shows up in a Star Wars movie very
recently about 5 years ago. Sometimes I try to calculate Harrison Ford's age and
my guess is he was either born in the late 1940's or the late 1930's. I
don't think he was born in any early or mid decades, I feel very strongly about
this! He was born in 1942. See there's proof The Force
doesn't exist! I tried to Use Force to guess a Date Of Birth and I was way
Hmm maybe I should think about Going Towards The Dark
Side. With that Extra Oomph of using Evilness to supplement The
Force might help me accurately guess birthdays. I can't think of a
better reason to sell your soul. Can probably get a job at the
carnival guessing ages! Also now the sitcom is about a carnival not a
circuses. Carnivals tested better with audiences and also there's just
more fun to be had at a carnival. Anyway I've had a can of beer
sitting on my desk for the last 3 paragraphs and haven't opened it yet.
Hmm think I'll try that out right now! Fascinating. I I'm
pouring it into a glass because Coronavirus Loves Aluminum. Also I
strongly recommend you pronounce it, "Al-oo-min-e-um." I think you'd get a
real kick out of that as I do!
Anyway looks like we're havin' a Real Great Dinner tonight.
We're talkin' Roast Chicken Breast & Wings & Possibly Thighs and/or Drumsticks.
And we split that between me, My Family, and ohoh right that's it.
And I got the Potato Spheres c'mon! I think we got broccoli too or
somethin. I'll eat some broccoli! Whose gonna stop me, you?
You'll Probably Try But Fail! Anyway I 100% recognize this entry, so
far, is just More DUmb an Pointless than most entries lately. But I still
feel its worth somethin'. It's different in A Mostly Bad Way but
also its 20% An Interesting Way. Anyway Lunch may be a Real Great Lunch,
too. We're talkin Salmon Fillets. We're talkin Potato Spheres.
Now we're talkin!
When they were writing
sitcoms in the 50's and 60's, did they consciously not only recognize but
welcome the idea that there's about 2 dozen episode plots that apply to and show
up in Every Sitcom From That Time? Do they go into season 2 going okay
there's these 5 Sitcom Entries left over that everyone does, alright! Time
to do them in our own unique way! Like it's a GOOD thing to do.
It's not to be frowned upon, that's just the standard. It's not laziness,
but it's just That's What The Job Is. Gotta show people What They've Seen
Before But With A Different Spin. I always thought it was just laziness
but I dunno maybe that's just the way they thought things through. And
believe me I KNOW LAZINESS. IT RHYMES WITH CRAZINESS!
Hmm better write that down somewhere Good Potential Song. It's about 20%
of a song right there right. One would imagine. Alight first
Drink in 9.5 weeks or so. Hey that tastes good. It reminds me of
other times I've drank beer. I guess that makes sense.
Sometimes, when its late at night, and no one else is around,
I think about the movie Dumb & Dumberer, and how there's some funny stuff in
that movie. Yep checks out. I also remember going into it
thinking it would be good because it was directed by Troy Miller, who directed
some (all? [most?]) Mr. Shows, which I was a pretty big fanboy of at the time.
Turns out that directing Mr. Show, though, meant very little because the movie
Dumb And Bumberist:The Prequel wasn't that great! But, apparently, based
on the beginning of this paragraph, had some laughs in it?
There's a scene (and then a later scene where its a call back
and something similar happens) when one of the Dumbs (I forget if its Young
Lloyd or Young Harry) gets chocolate all over the bathroom and the Father Of The
Teenage Girl Love Interest is like SHIT THERE'S SHIT ALL OVER THE BATHROOM SO
MUCH SHIT! And then it happens to him again later on in the movie In A
Car or something. Lol scatological humor What Will They Come Up With
Next! Also Eugene Levy was in the movie Rest In Piece. I'd
like to Take A Rest With That Piece Of Ass Oh Boy. That was meant to
be about Cheri Oteri. Who plays Eugene Levy's love interest.
They're the bad guys. LOL Cheri Oteri is a funny name. Freakin'
rhymes! How come no one ever realized this until just now!
Sounds about right. About halfway through Drink 1 of...
I dunno... between 1 and 3. Anyway woke up much earlier than usual today
on account of Accepting SuperMarket Delivery. Great just great hows
that working out for me. Well so far so good! Hmm wonder if I
can binge watch City Slickerses. One gotta imagine they had several
City Slickers Reboots, right? They could either just have a similar
scenario with New People or they could have The Original City Slickers come back
one last time to the Wild Wild West Of Current Times and they have to do
somethin, I dunno. Not sure how that would play out. City Slickers
II ends with the insinuation That They're All About To Acquire A Good Amount Of
Gold. So maybe they're living large now, 30 years later, and they're like
Oh now we're running out of gold we better go to the Wild Wild West One Last
Time to see if there's any more gold. Also Jack Palance is all CGI
And obviously no Bruno Kirby but Yes Jon Lovitz.
That was my high school yearbook quote. No Bruno Kirby, Yes Jon Lovitz.
Really makes ya think! The point is Yes We Are All Anxiously Waiting To
Find Out what the #SummerForTheAges will be all about and I dunno! If I
have access to HBOMax, then I think I can binge Harris Pottersons. If I
don't, then, I dunno! Also does City Slickers count as a Western?
My first instinct was No of course not. But does it mainly take
place in the American West? And that setting is pretty much 100% Key To
The Plot? Yes! Smells like a Western to me. Also that's
what I call, "Deuces," that have nuggets of ham and green pepper in them.
You know, that configuration that shows up so often.
I dunno. I think they should reboot Ghostbusters
BUT THIS TIME IT'S AN ALL MALE GHOSTBUSTERS!!! Whatta switcheroo it
would get people goin'! Well, great, what else. Maybe have some sort
of Kobe Roast Beef Sandwich instead of Salmon Fillet for lunch today.
Maybe lots of things! Hmm I can watch The Fantastic Four.
They're presumably terrible movies and don't exist in any overlapping
universe, but on the other hand, The Fantastic Four Is What I Call My
Cock. Fascinating. And NO, Not because it's four inches!
Because it's four centimeters. Just kidding it's because I GOT FOUR
OF 'EM! We all know Scatological humor is about defecations and
defecates in general. What is Cockological Humor. Also Microsoft
FrontPage accepted, "Defecates," as a word and I was momentarily THRILLED
because I meant it as a noun and the idea that Defecates could mean
Individual Pieces Of Shit was EXCITING but now I realize it's just a verb.
Bother Me None
good. I like what I've seen from Recent Trilogy Incarnation Of Star Wars.
3/4ths into the 1st one, only TWO sequences where main characters have
been trapped and have to escape. Trying something New this movie, huh?
Also do all White Men sort of innately think Hmm 2 main protagonists in this
movie Aren't Me. Wonder what that's all about. Look I'm glad The
Best Star Wars People are a black man and a white woman, I think It's A Good
Thing. The only Bad Thing is that For Some Reason That Thought Even
Occurs To Me. Well the black guy is SORT OF white. When he's a
stormtrooper at the beginning, he wears a white Costume. Also,
before he takes off his mask, I assumed he was white! Who knew that some
stormtroopers were black! I didn't even realize they were HUMAN until
seeing this movie! Star Wars has always been about equal representation.
A solid TWO main characters are robots. Another one of them is some sort
of Furry Ape Man. Lots of other types of aliens. But the point is
I've got a pretty good feeling White Men are gonna be taken care of in terms of
representation in this franchise. Mostly on account of the first 6 Movies
being ALL WHITE MEN (except for 10% that are either white women).
Also why does Kylo Ren wear a Darth Vader Mask. He has
no physical deformities, as far as I know, that he needs A Special Mechanical
Mask. I know he's, "Into," Darth Vader (as much as anyone can be into
their grandfather I guess WHICH IS A LOT) so he's just trying to copy his look,
which I get. But it looks dumb because he doesn't need it. All the
black White Storm Troopers are laughing at him behind his back that he's trying
too hard to look Cool and sound Cool. Also, in episodes 4-6, Darth Vader
is an intimidating administrator and Captain of the Dark Side... but not very
intimidating in hand-to-hand conflict. He's fuckin half machine, he's got
emphysema, he needs a mechanical mask to keep him alive, he's a pretty old man
at this point.. Luke can run circles around this guy is the point.
Sounds about right.
What else is crappening. The point is I Don't Care
How Much Harrison Ford Winks At The Camera I'M A SOLID 50-60% SURE THE FORCE
ISN'T REAL! Also HIS NAME IS HARRISON. And we all just act like
that's not weird? IT'S A WEIRD NAME. Imagine you know nothing about
him being The Dude in the late 1970's through 80's and Continuing Being A
Pretty Cool Super-Somewhat-Older Dude into the 90's... but HIS NAME IS HARRISON.
IT'S A DUMB NAME PEOPLE MUST BE MADE TO UNDERSTAND THIS. Also Star Wars.
The Stars aren't at war with each other. What would be their motivation?
Maybe they're pulling at each other with Gravity But That Can't Be Very Strong!
1942? Sounds like a Stephen Spielberg Movie. Even though it
isn't. That was 1941. What else is going on.
Hey I put some lunch in the oven. That'll be
ready long after this entry is over and done with. We're talkin a solid 40
minutes from now! Fascinating. Made it into Season II of Dick
Van Dykes. So far, so good! I like the parts where it's similar to
Season I but hmm looks like they're maturing a bit so to speak.
Anyway hows that Carnival Sitcom going. What's it called again.
Carnivale. Wait that's an HBO show. Wait That IS an HBO
Show... alright no more Carnival Sitcom. It was a fun idea while it
lasted for a solid hour and a half or so! What about a show where it's
that painting of Dogs Playing Poker but its a sitcom. Sounds like a
solid genesis of a show to me!
I guess. Anyway another day, another entry down.
How does it relate to most recent entries? It Exists. They exast,
too! So basically it's the same. Anyway, when I'm doin' my Circle
Walks, I keep looking at my George Carlin Box Set DVD Box up above my desk, and
look at the Logo Picture Of Him and it's like the Mona Lisa. Sometimes
he's smiling, some times he's frowning, sometimes he's laughing, sometimes he's
upset. And also he's always watching me no matter where I am in the
room. The point is Sure I like DVD boxes and yes that's in my Top 10
but not necearilly the best by any means. Harrison. All due
respect, but its a stupid name!
Why I gotta be such a bully. Makes me
feel like a Big Man. Oh now I get it carry on. Looking
forward to Future Episodes of DVD where Carl Reiner shows up as the Star Of The
Fictional Show in a good ol' fashioned Switcheroo. The point is the 1980's
were truly a golden age for Movies Which Had Original Pop/Rock Songs Made For
And Mostly Associated With The Movie. Ghostbusters. Back To The
Future. Karate Kid. One would imagine at least 1 of the karate
Kid Soundtrackers is For Karate Kid. It's a Reasonable Guess To Make!
I think if Women Ghostbusters had A New Ghostbusters Song that would have been a
real valuable addition to The Entire Deal!
Also I relate to black past-Storm Trooper because I too am a
person and I also relate to the White Poor Lady Who Presumably Has Some Sort Of
Force Power because I too am a person. I don't relate to the Millennium
Falcon, though. That's a space ship. I am a person not a space ship.
I might catch some, "Flak," saying I don't identify with space ships IN THE
LEAST but that's how life goes for some reason no one is really sure of.
Anyway that'll do it for today. I'll see ya tomorrow.
July 9, 2020
Title? ONLY A TITLE?
accurate. Anyway, Hey, another day has begun a few 13 hours or so ago at
this point. Finished with Episodes I-VI of Star Wars:The Franchise We're
All Familiar With. My Final Guess for if I've seen these movies before
is that I had Empire and Return on VHS. The main thing I remember is When
Protagonists Are In Traps. In Part V there's Luke being trapped by a Yeti.
Then in Part VI they're trapped by Jabba The Hut, by Ewoks, and so on.
Basically All Star Wars Original Trilogy is just a series of people being in
traps and then escaping/being rescued from those traps. Yep seems to check
Anyway made some Elbow Macaroni last night. Also
Now Everything I Say Sounds Like Dick Van Dyke in my head. There he
goes again! Anyway once I started enjoying Dick Van Dykes I went back
and listened to Weezer's Buddy Holly for more insight into the characters
involved in the lyrics. Mary Tyler Moore is a key plot point in the
song is the point. Also Rivers Cuomo looks a bit like Buddy
Holly, 90% because of the glasses, but I think he's leaning into that a
little bit too strong. He chose those glasses consciously. It's not
like someone put them around his head and he's like hey with these I look
like Buddy Holly! The point is It's A Scam And We Don't Have To Put Up
With It Is The Point! Let's have a popular revolt against Popular Music
and how they're Always Leaning Into Images.
Right? Sounds accurate. I've got the
same glasses. Yeah but I'M NOT WRITING A SONG ABOUT IT.
Although maybe I should, it's a good idea for a song. Re-ooh I look
just like... uh... wait I feel like this has been done before. Is it too
late to bail on this song premise? That's the chorus.
What else is going on and crap. Not enough Popular Music with non-rhyming
lyrics. Not enough at all! The point is I Dig All The Characters of
Dick Van Dyke show. Why should everything I say be in Dick Van Dyke's
Voice In My Head. There's half a dozen other characters to Lean Into!
Why, there's his son ("What did you bring me Daddy" is some great dialogue I
just thought of for him), his wife ("I'm Dick Van Dyke's Wife!" there's some
dialogue for her to say), his two Writing Partners ("Hey I'm the other male
writer," and, "I'm the female writer!" they might respectively say)...
Hmm the only person with A Real Thing To Say was the son! And in real
life he's got the least to say! Funny how things work out.
Also that isn't real life. Wait Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Cool! What's Dick Van Dyke saying.
"I'm Dick Van Dyke Look At Me Go!" sounds about right. Ugh.
Yeech. That's what the producer says in DVD! He was a
proto-type for my character which I inhabit who says Ugh every now and
then. Natural progression from this guy who goes Yeech. I Owe
It All To This Show I've Never Seen Before But Probably Picked Up A Bit Of Here
And There! I was talking to My Mom and she was upset that everything on
Disney Plus is for children. And I wanted to make fun of her for that but
you know what She's Got A Point How about that? We're not
children! Why can't a Service Designed for a Child Audience Accommodate
Adults LIKE ME? Why can't EVERYTHING ACCOMMODATE ME?
That's a legit thing to wonder! The point is Yes I Made Macaroni just like
I said. Still have enough for a lunch today or something! Still have
enough macaroni for a lot of things!
What else is going on. The point is if Rivers Cuomo was
5'4 for most of his life, he might be down to My Height 5'2 now that he's in his
80's. I assume he was a contemporary of Mary Tyler Moore, right?
Otherwise That Song WAS A LIE. What else is going on and crap.
Also at what point in Society do we start having a legitimate Fringe Discussion
about Heightism? I'm not asking it to be taken seriously at the same level
as sexism, racism, disablism, homophobia, etc. I just want SOME talk about
it here and there just so I know I'm not crazy. Because it's freakin'
real! Hmm I am crazy but THAT DOESN'T INVALIDATE MY POINT. It
might but it shouldn't! See that'd be disabilism right
there. Mentally Ill, anything he says can't be taken seriously.
WHERE DO YOU GET OFF SIR WHERE DO YOU GET OFF.
Sounds about right. Also it was fun watching Ewoks go
now that I know a lot more about the Man Behind The Mask, its only Warwick
Davis! Also I'm under the impression that a dwarf played R2D2 which I
don't 100% see the point of. You can figure out a way to make that
circular prism (accurate description of that 3-d shape? Nope! But
sounds close enough!) without sticking a person in there, right? Unless
you cast the dwarf specifically to do the Whistling. In which case, why do
you need a dwarf, anyone can whistle? Then again I Commend You for hiring
a Dwarf to do your Robot Whistles why SHOULDN'T it be a dwarf if he's the right
man for the job. The whistling job. The small robot whistling job.
In a movie. Not real life. Hmm.
I just relate most to the Kid on Dick Van Dyke. Based on what they get to
say instinctually in my head. He, like me, was born later on in Real World
Chronology. Makes sense. Also did I used to mix up Dick Van Dyke
with Bewitched And Presumably EVERY other sitcom of the 1960's? You bet!
Probably because I knew the trivia how there were two Dick Actors who were the
same part on Bewitched. And Dick Van Dyke's name is, lemme double check
this make sure its right, Dick. So you could see where mny
confusion lied. Sure I could make a, "Dick," pun, nobody's ever thought
to do that before! I'll leave it for The Next Guy, though.
Whoever my Humor Successor is. Gotta figure Someone'll step up, right?
Do the kind of thing that I do, but better.
I sure hope so. The point is this by next entry I
will have alcohol to Power Me through. I drink the alcohol and it gives me
power. Power Me Through! Sounds about right. Anyway Man
OH Man was I on board with Yoda in Empire Strikes Back. He talks
the same way sentence structure and rhythm-wise, but he's HILARIOUS in this
movie. He's always monkeyin' around and Bein' Weird and Crackin' Wise.
Every other movie he's more serious and solemn. But in this one he's a
fuckin' goof in the best way possible! Very relatable. Also
why did they make Yoda a puppet and not cast Warwick Davis to play him.
Was Warwick Davis unavailable? In which case, I would guess there's
probably two to four other actors who are similarly tall. That'd be my
guess, at least. Anyway. What else is going on. Was
surprised to learn that George Lucas didn't direct Empire and Return. So
basically this guy who you think is the greatest directed One Good Star Wars
Film out of 4 tries. That's YOU thinking, not me. I could
personally not give much of a fuck.
Sounds about right. Also, I was saying yesterday or the
day before how Return of The Jedi should be called Resurgence of The Jedi.
And now I realize I was wrong Return makes as much sense if not more.
I'm man enough to admit when I make a mistake! Presumably! I just
Did It Once which is a pretty good track record I'd say as for now! Also
how in the Hell was Yoda around when Luke crashed into Yoda's planet. A
planet is a pretty big place! What are the odds Yoda was within miles of
where Luke lands! The force? What the hell is that. You're
talking nonsense. Something along those lines is Pretty Much How My
Inner Narrative Goes. I guess the reason Yoda was Kooky As Fuck in Empire
Strikes Back is because he'd been in isolation for a long time. He went
stir-crazy. Makes sense to me.
The point is I can't get The Kinks out of my head, 20% of the
time being their Lola and 80% of the time being Weird Al's Yoda.
I go back and forth and it's USUALLY Yoda but sometimes a Kinks lyric or couplet
slips in there. I know Darth Vaders really got you annoyed but remember
if you kill him then you'll be unemployed. Heh! I get it!
It's about Star Wars! LOL I just saw that movies. Ugh.
Yeeech. I don't 100% get that CatchPhrase from Dick Van Dyke Producer.
The short Man writer makes fun of Producer, primarily for his bald head, and the
producer's comical retort (at least that they've been trying out for This Dozen
Of Entries [episodes Freudian slip sorry!] is Yeech. Like you say
if something's gross. Being made fun of isn't gross! It's
Disrespectful and in Poor Taste but its YEECH. The 1960's were just a
different time. People didn't know how to react to other people!
Something along those lines, right? I'm 100% on board
with TV shows being measured in Entries. You get 22 Entries a season.
I like it! Makes me wanna write TV! I've never written a TV episode
before, seems daunting and impossible. TV ENTRIES, though? Get out
of my way I'll knock some TV Entries Out Of The Park like it was nothin'!
Anyway. Lunch is gonna be Rest of Macaroni & A Meatball. Prove me
wrong! You can't! Hasn't even happened yet! Unless your method
of proving me wrong was was setting into motions the circumstances where I can't
be right! Like you come into my home and Hide The Meatball. Then
I'll inevitably be wrong but You'll Still Be A Jerk! Yeech.
good to me. I believe theres Five More Star Wars for me to watch?
Episodes VII-X and 2 one-off'ers? That's great, just great. #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.
Startin' too look like a more accurate Summer Prediction is #DickVanDykeSummerToSummer.
Also the second summer is a verb. No reason, "Summer," can't be a
verb! Just because It's Not, that doesn't mean a thing! But then
I'll Forget #MarvelSummerToRemember which was EXPLICITLY what I didn't wanna do.
And I won't be inspired by $StarWarsToDoSomething. And whatever The Next
Thing is #ForTheAges. Ugh. Anyway, jeez, lunch is coming up
in a paragraph or two. I like those odds! I like watching Them Get
Lunch or Breakfast @ The Office in DVDs. Some guy is like alright
here's your sandwich or bagel or whatever and they're like thanks and
then he's like that'll be 2 dollars and 10 cents or whatever and they're
like here ya go! and the only reason to have that scene is just for Lunch
Fetishists like me. Gotta be a lot of us out there, right? Otherwise
Why Would That mini-Scene show up every other episode? Doesn't Add Up!
The point is I Just Checked On My Meatball It's Exactly Where I Left It.
The good news is once this paragraph is over, its time for lunch. Why do I
have to write this paragraph first? I dunno clearly you've never written
Website Episodes before. Sometimes you need Fine Future Lunches to
motivate yourself through No More Than Mediocre Paragraphs. Hmm wonder
what the kid from DVD is up to now. LMLTURQ. Well... not a lot.
But he's still alive! Presumably! It's possible he died and they
never updated his Wikipedia Page! After Dick Van Dyke, he's never again
done anything noteworthy Apparently (Exact Quote From Wikipedia) so if he did
die 6 months ago we probably wouldn't know it yet. But I'd like to think
he's still alive! I don't mean to make fun. I'm sure DVDII is still
alive and thriving at whatever he's doing He's an Adult Now he can decide
whether he wants to be alive or not!
mmm this meatball is the tops. Also the macaroni
is heavil ysalted but not heavily salted enough! Also I decided to eat the
elbow macaroni with a fork Just To Mix Things Up! Anyway I can think of
about a dozen things I'd describe Elbow Macaroni as before I get to
elbows. 1) semi circles 2)half circles 3) crescents 4)partial circles 5)
somewhat circles... the point is I forget what I was talking about.
I know there's a lot of talk owing Human's Technological Success to Opposable
Thumbs, but I don't think enough credit is given to Our Elbows. Without
them we'd only be able to move Our Entire Arms. Hmm. Makes sense
to me. I think.
2 paragraphs to go! It's a lot easier to eat
macaroni with my fingers than with a fork. So I've been eating with my
fingers! It's fun, convenient, and productive! Also I really use my
opposable thumb for some of the action! Anyway I like all this salt.
I know they say you shouldn't drink salt water, and that it won't quench your
thirst but make yuo more thirsty... but I dunno I don't, "Buy," that. If
I'm lost at sea, I don't care what anyone says, I'M GONNA DRINK SOME SALTWATER.
It's water! Who you tryin' to fool! You just wanna save all the
saltwater for yourself! I'm onto your games! Not drinking Salt Water is,
"Fake News!" Sounds about right.
Last paragraph! Also if salt makes my macaroni
delicious no reason to think it wouldn't have the same effect on water!
That's gotta be a weird delicacy somewhere, right? Like a 6 Star
Restaurant, there's a special meal made with just a Hint of salt water.
Just almost wrote, "Salter," instead of salt water. A portmanteau of Salt
Water. It's not funny but It's Convenient! How did we settle on
Using Stars To Rate Things. Hey you know how Stars Are Great?
Naturally We Should Use Numbers Of Stars To Rate How Great Things Are!
Makes no sense to me but what can ya dp. There's salt in all of our
favorite drinks. Sodium. That's where electrolytes come from!
But I mean LEGIT Salt Water coming from the ocean. I feel very strongly
about this! I'll see ya later.
July 8, 2020
All This Before
Anyway, Hot Take vaguely inspired by watching Dick Van Dykes-- what kind of
Gaslighting Bullshit is calling Producers, "Producers." They do the
least producing out of anybody! That's like calling the owner of the
factory a Builder. Well I OVERSEE building. Abstractly without me
and my factory there Is NO building going on at all. Building as a verb!
Not a noun! I do Oversee Building too, as a noun, but that's neither here
nor there. Well it is here. Or there, depending on where you are
Right Now. Anyway The assembly Line Building is What I Do!
Also I wanted to call Dick Van Dykes DVDs but you could see where that
might create some confusion. And if I did that, there'd be no way to
explain the confusion away so you can see the kind of bind I'm in with the whole
thing. Anyway, watching the first 1/4th of Star Wars III: Star Wars VI, I
realize oh yeah I DID have these movies on VHS. At least The Parts V
and VI. I just rarely watched it and when I did I didn't absorb any of
it For Some Reason. It's like my Brother chose to pop in Return Of The
Jedi and I was like well time to tune out. What else do I got going on.
Maybe play with my scrotum some more. These are the important issues.
Hah look at me go! That's right I was COMFORTABLE with my
pre-adolescent sexuality. I'll play with my balls IT'S FINE FOR A CHILD TO
DO IN COMPANY.
Anyway what else do I got going on 25 years ago.
Overabundance of VHSs where I had movies I didn't even absorb, some great
ballsack that could withhold the Pressure Of Constant Playing, a brother who has
similar but IT TURNS OUT NOT ALWAYS 100% taste on movies as I do.
Wonderful, what else is going on and crap. I don't play with my balls
anymore. Especially since a few years ago there was some sort of small
growth or something on the Right Of My Ballsack. I had it checked out and
its tot ally benign but it's still there. And I ain't touching that.
I don't wanna make it worse, c'mon. Play it safe. Sure it's
affected my life negatively not playing around with my ballsack but We All Have
To Make Sacrificies In Life I Feel Very Strongly About This!
Cool. 48 Hours until Alcohol Consumption! I
can hardly wait. They wrote a song about it and then they made a movie
about it but the song came before the movie and I came before the song
apparently. What else is going on and crap. I was looking
into Universe Ending and I don't 100% get the tendency of Smart People to be
depressed about the Universe Probably Ending in a trillion or so years because
they're like hmm so there's an End to this, we know that much.
C'mon if you're smart enough to think about Universe Extinction you're also
smart enough to be at most agnostic so you should be comfortable with the idea
that There's An End To All This. Also, just accept that hey maybe
there's a multiverse nobody knows. Maybe they're upset in a more
global (pun not intended because It Would Be A Wrong Pun!) way instead of
personal. Yeah, I'm gonna die, they think, but at least
Other Stuff Will Survive! Now they're like well fuck ALL OF THIS is
gonna go. Makes sense to me. Then again we got A TRILLION FUCKIN'
YEARS TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT C'MON.
What's the over/under on Mankind's Total Extinction. Or
maybe an over/under on Near-Total Extinction. Gotta imagine Near Total
Extinction would be this or next century at even money, right? I feel like
there'll be some survivors and Hey We Wish Them The Best Of Luck. Also
hey universe is expanding at 72 KILOMETERS A SECOND! My theory is that
sometimes people who are have Dizziness Spells Attacks are just tuning in for a
few seconds into how Earth is fuckin moving around quick as shit, both around
the sun and just in terms of expanding universe, and they momentarily are like
WOAH THIS IS GOIN' FAST.. ok back to normal. That's my theory based on
nothing but it SOUNDS kinda cool.
My Dad's Hot Take on Upcoming Presidential Election is that
Trump is gonna come out with some miracle cure for Pandemic right before the
election. Meanwhile, My Hot Take is that I Don't Like Anyone Else's Hot
Takes! I got some Great Hot Takes but Your Hot Takes Probably Aren't As
Hot As Mine. Still decided to share My Dad's Hot Take it so I could
follow it up with this Gem about how We All Think Our Hot Takes Are The Hottest.
But it turns out a lot of us aren't Hot Takes at all! Either in terms
of it's an Accurate but COOL Take because other people have thought of it for
weeks or maybe it's a Hot BUT INACCURATE Take it's an interesting new
take but NOPE Not Actually Gonna Happen You're Way Off! Something
along those lines, right?
To Me Okay
Dad and Mom tryin' to guilt trip me about alcohol but this time around I'm like
Nope Not Into arguing about it or feeling guilty about it or worrying about you
worrying about it MY MIND IS MAE UP I'M GOING TO DRINK SOCIALLY WITH MYSELF AND
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT! Anyway am I supposed to be wearing masks
when I walk 20 feet from my front door to throw out garbage? People walk
by wearing masks on the sidewalk. I get as close as 12 feet from them.
I see 'em looking at me, JUDGING ME WITH THEIR FROWNY FACES (one can only
imagine), and I wanna be like NO I FUCKIN' LIVE HERE C'MON IT'S OKAY DON'T
WORRY. YES I HAVE TO YELL IN YOUR FACE LIKE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL
TAKE WHAT I'M SAYING SERIOUSLY AND REALIZE HOW MUCH I AM SORRY!
Something along those lines, right? Great.
Also, in reality, I'm asshole because my real thought is like well they'll be
okay I Probably Don't Have It what are the odds! Meanwhile, 1/2 of the
entire population of people who don't wear masks probably think the same thing
and use that as an excuse. Yeah but when I THINK AND ACT THAT WAY
ITS OKAY. Because I REALLY AM pretty sure I don't have it!
Anyway, what else is going on and crap. My Mom is still fiending for some
smokes. She's asked me 4 or 6 times over 2 or 3 days if I had 1 or 2
cigarettes (I made up the, "1 or 2," part for good measure). And I'm like
yeah we had this discussion already. So the good news is Her mind
is in a real fine place. That's a relief!
Ugh. I offered to take a walk and get her cigarettes
from Corner Store. She said nope! Also I assume its still a Corner
Store even if it's halfway through the block. I always liked that phrase
Corner Store. I dunno where I picked it up-- never heard it used in
Regular Conversation. But I Enjoy It So Get Off My Back About It Okay.
Bodega is a fun word too. Sounds Foreign, like South Asian, Or Asian, Or
Middle Eastern, or MidlowerEastAsia, you get the idea. Which makse sense
because that's where many Bodega operators come from! Gonna look up
etymology on, "Bodega," right quick BRB. From Spanish, it turns out!
That's closer to Asia than a lot of places! Like us. At least on the
East Coast. Hawaii and Alaska and potentially The West Coast are closer to
Asia than Spain POSSIBLY I DON'T HAVE THE NUMBERS CRUNCHED AS OF NOW.
Hmm Spanish people can own BOdegas. Anyone except Really White People.
Never see that. Rarely see African American Bodegas, too. Not In
NYC, not in my experience at least. Hmm wonder what that's all about.
BodegaMen and BodegaWomen gotta be essential workers,
right? Let's give them lip service by using that phrase approvingly and
then not help them out financially or with medical care or by doing
anything to alleviate their Healths and reduce their Risks. Sounds like a
fair deal THEY GET COMPLIMENTED And Flattered To that's a big part of it!
I dunno what's going on anymore. Other than we should take care of
essential workers beyond just calling them essential workers. Makes
sense to me, right? What else is going on and crap. Now that
I think about it not a lot of BodegaWomen either. Hey what paragraph
are we up to right now. I'm gonna guess nine. I was right!
I guess I'm Some Sort Of a Genius! A Counting Genius! All the way to
Almost Double Digits!
Fascinating. Producers do More Producing than Just
Owning the Building. They mostly Co-ordinate the producing is my
understanding. Still BS, though! Well if we're talking about it,
what exactly IS the product. Film on the table! Audio cassettes
on the table! A remake of Les Miserables with a new person cast as Cosette!
On the table! The point is the director produces more than a producer and
a producer sometimes directs slightly more than a director AS PER MY
UNDERSTANDING! But also, The Actors are producers. They produce
ACTING. I dunno what I'm talking about anymore. What else is
going on. It's possible I've never seen Star Wars before but am just
remembering parts in Spaceballs but I dunno now that I think about it
probably did have those VHSs. Definitely not Bought Directly Star
Wars. VHSs that were taped from TV. I feel very strongly about
first two DVDs I got were Meet The parents and Me, Myself, And Irene.
I can still recall the dumb music they played over the Main Menu of the Me
Myself & Irene DVD. Never was in the movie. Just some dumb
music. But it was REVOLUTIONARY in terms of consuming Film.
Main menu? SUPPLEMENTARY MENUS? You mean I get to watch THE TV SPOTS
FOR THIS MOVIE ALL OVER AGAIN? It's like stepping into a time machine!
Ugh what else is going on and crap. Over halfway through #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething.
Right now a very likely successor of that is a #HarryPotterSummerForTheAges.
Assuming those films are available to me on Streams. I could look into
that RIGHT NOW and I may I just might! Nah I don't think I'm gonna do
that. Look into it, I mean. Gotta have some sort of
Summer For The Ages, whether its Harry Potter or Home Alone or any ohter
franchise based around children doing Practical Jokes ton Adults.
FICTIONAL, though. All those movies where it's like Jackass but it's
All Children PracticalJoking All Adults? Not on board with those. It
promotes too many negative ideas and practices, Not Safe! Be careful
out there adults children may be being conditioned to practical joke you!
What was I talking about. Oh, right. On my fourth
of four cups of coffees. Gonna have Some Sort Of Lunch in a bit. If
I could choose any October Surprise from Trump/FOX News, I hope The Caravan
makes a return. Like in October they just go HEY EVERYONE THE CARAVAN
STARTED UP AGAIN! Part of it Is Good because obviously that didn't
save 'em in 2018. But also its good because lol that'd be silly I LIKE
THAT SORT OF BULLSHIT FOR SOME REASON. Also is it a new caravan
that we're worried about, or, preferably, is it THE SAME CARAVAN! THEY
TOOK A, "SIESTA," HALFWAY THROUGH MEXICO FOR 2 YEARS, BUT WE HAVE SATELLITE
IMAGES THEY'RE BACK ON THE MOVE! The Caravan Missile Crisis.
Also, look, if you're so desperate that you want to come INTO America during
pandemic, look, you've got my support. You must really want it,
I can't argue with that at all! Also ESPECIALLY IF You're GANG 13!
They'll help us overthrow the tyranny of statues that we all hate so much that's
what this is all about. People are just upset about statues.
Statutes of limitations MAYBE. Maybe! Can't count that out at
Ugh. Three more paragraphs to go! The point
is I Am Unequivocally A Producer. I make paragraphs. Before me these
words were never A Thing Together. And after me they Always Will Be.
I set that into motion, me! Whatta great producer I am.
Pro Duece 'er. Shit is someting everyone accpomplishes
at Producing. I hope so. If you're having trouble
accomplishing any sort of shit, you're in a lot of trouble. Also a
Duece is a shit. #2. #1 is pee, #2 is crap. I feel like this
is common knowledge. Not sure what that accomplishes. I guess its
better to say #1 or #2 in polite company, but I dunno, that's even
grosser to me. How would you like it if you were having a dinner party
with your neighbors (Playing Bridge or something), and your neighbor's wife (who
is also your neighbor but more accurately is married to your Man-Neighbor) is
like I gotta go Number Two. I've been watching too many DVDs but
the point is in 1961 its No Bueno to have a woman going I'm gonna do a number
two on TV and I still don't wanna hear it 60 years later!
So I got that going for me is the point. Also, I don't
think this is still the case, but I have a vague memory of When I Was A Kid, if
I had to do a #2, I'd ALWAYS also have to do a #1. I have a memory of
thinking of that as A Description Of My Plans. If I ahd to take a crap
primarily, I'd say that (if I had to for some reason I can't think of).
But then I'd be Going At It and I'd also be peeing and I'd be like well...
uh... the point is when I was a kid I always peed when I shat but I don't
anymore? But I thought that was a universal experience when I was a kid?
Maybe it is? But I don't think I do that anymore? I dunno maybe I
DO Still Do That and I just can't picture it. I'll keep you updated on
this situation as it progresses.
Last paragraph! Probably something was wrong with me
and now isn't wrong with me but I have dozens of other things wrong with me that
I didn't use to have wrong with me. So it all evens out is the point.
Great! 4 Meals until Friday Re-upping with Supermarket. Figure I can
make some Macaroni, that's 2 meals. Maybe some sort of turkey sandwich,
that's 1 meal. What's the last meal gonna be. I dunno I think I
have some sort of Frozen Meal or something I'll Figure Something Out Don't Worry
About Me. Or I can just skip one lunch. Lots of good options at
this point! I'll see you guys later.
July 7, 2020
You Make Of This
why not. Alright, #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething Hot Take-- Princess Leia
looks like Amy Schumer. Alright, Mathematics Hot Take-- I was
crunching the numbers with Trump's approval/disapproval rating, and one way to
conceptualize it is, out of 20 people, 11 disapprove, 8 approve, and 1 is
uncommitted. That's a lot of people! 11 to 8? That's a
solid win in a 9 inning game! In an extra inning game, too!
In a 5-8 inning game? EVEN SOLIDER! Anyway, obviously the closer we
get to election day, the more solid Biden's lead in the polls looks, but I just
look at Trump's Approval Rating, not just his prospective 2020 Ballot Polls...
he's been stuck at ~39-43% approval rating HIS ENTIRE PRESIDENCY. He's
polling mostly in the high 30's/low 40%s in Election Polls right now. How
can he jump 5 points in the polls, which is The Least he would need,
without jumping 5 points in approval ratings? Which doesn't seem very
likely considering his track record?
Time for some laugh-em-ups! Hmm that
paragraph makes ME laugh. For any number of reasons! Trump is a
brilliant political strategist though because hmm 40% of people are on board
with me... I'ma double down on that! Pretty sure 40% is enough to win an
election! And maybe it is, I Dunno! They'll do their darndest to
make 40% enough to steal the election. Hmm suddenly this paragraph
DOESN'T make me laugh. They did a poll where it's like 6 or 8% of
Biden supporters wouldn't feel comfortable voting in person due to COVID,
where as 2% of Trump supporters feel that way. Which they say would
translate, if you don't account for Mail In Ballots to pick up some of that
slack, to around a 3% shift in the results. That's a huge percent to Cheat
For and why is this not being shouted from the rooftops? Let's say Biden
is up 50/43 going into the election? So he Ends Up 47/43 in the National
Popular Vote? That's enough for Trump to possibly win electoral
college. So the point is Don't Do That. Makes ME
laugh! That's great, just great.
I don't like news stories that are just secondary or tertiary
evidence to stuff about Trump we already know. Trump cheated on his
SATS says his Family Member. Yes we have Many Primary Evidences that
he is both stupid and that he is a cheat. This adds very little to the
story. Unless you wanna use it in terms of Asking Him About it.
Hey Trump got any thoughts on how you had to cheat on your SATS?
That's a relevant question. But, to me, it means close to nothing.
I'd like to know For Certain his motive, though. Please his parents?
Too human. Because he wants to Go To The best Colleges Because He Wants TO
Be In High Society? Possibly. Just because He Felt Like It For Some
Reason? I dunno that could be the guiding force in his life I DON'T KNOW
AND WHO CARES I HAVE PLENTY OF PRIMARY EVIDENCE ON SO MUCH OF HIS CHARACTER AND
Anyway, Nurse came over this morning to administer a Blood
Infusion for My Dad. My Dad is Dracula and this is the safest way to do
it for both Him AND the rest of us! Also when you get blood infusions
you drink blood I guess? I dunno, maybe Draculas can consume Blood
like a drug. Snort it, sniff it, inject it. Lots of good options for
all the Draculas out there. Hmm snort it OR sniff it?
You know what I mean Just One Of Those! And Also A Second (Or, at
this point, Third) thing overall! Oh, right. Up the butt. In
the pee hole. Gotta imagine drug users have experimented with injecting
into the penis. Or trying to Sniff It Up With Your peehole (Good luck!).
I'm under the impression that when you do Heroin, obviously its a whole body
high, but it hits you first and mostest Specifically Where You Injected it.
So if you're looking for Some Quality Limp Dick Time, inject it right into that
mother! Let's see, Blood is usually drunk... Sniff, inject,
booty bump, blood enemas, Oh. Hold it under your tongue.
OH RIGHT FINALLY THOUGHT OF THE MISSING INGESTION SMOKE
IT. I knew there was a big one not coming to mind! Sublingually
was just another happy coincidence On The Road To Smoking It. I enjoy
watching my mom go without cigarettes. It's very humanizing. I mean,
she's always been human. But seeing her struggle with this, more for a
person to relate to! Also it's good for her health if she gets over this
stuff, so part of it is probably I'm glad she's not smoking Right Now and I
hope it sticks and that just manifests in heh she's upset right now
that's presumably for a good cause now I'm on board with her whole, "Deal."
Also if I could I'd get her some cigarettes. I just want her to be happy.
Something along those lines, right?
Anyway, about a third into The Empire Strikes Back:
Captain America InfinityStones. I think I must have had this on VHS
because I vaguely remember one of the opening sequences where The Skywalkers are
on Frozen Winter Planet and Luke gets in trouble with The Abominable Snowman.
I don't think I absorbed anything about the movie, there or further on,
but it did kinda ring a bell. Maybe this showed up in one of the 1 or 2
Star Wars video games I had. Something along those lines. Also
beyond That Snowman I've never seen anything described as Abominable.
And also, Keeping it 100%, I couldn't tell you what Abominable meant (Until JUst
Now LIURQ), I knew it was a negative thing, and presumably something that would
fit Some Sort Of Winter Monster. Anyway, it means like causes repulsion
and disgust, that sort of thing.
So we all learned something from this entry is the point.
Where the Hell did we get the Abominable Snowman From. I could LTURQ
But I Don't Want To! I know it can be used synonymously with Yeti
but I like the Abominable Snowman better. Sounds like a Limited Edition
Comic Book. I learned the phrase Limited Edition Comic Book from
Glass. No spoilers but the phrase comes up in the dialogue once or
twice! Sorry For The Spoilers! Anyway hey I get to take a break
after this paragraph. And my next alcohol intake is probably in roughly 72
hours at this point. I'm gonna try to Smoke It, that's what I've gotten
out of this Third Of Entry. Be back in a bit.
That I Think About It
it! Maybe I
just think Amy Schumer is my sister. Or my girlfriend. Or I'm a
robot in her charge or something. Or I'm her father/son. Oh!
Or I'm her subject. That's about all the relations yuo can have with a
Princess Leia as far as I know. The point is Sure I've Seen Spaceballs
8 or 10 times in my life get off my back about it. Anyway I saw Darth
Vader use The Force (The dark side?) to choke an incompetent subordinate
LIGHT YEARS AWAY. Dude was talkin' to Darth Vader on FaceTime and he
was talking about his Failure to do this or that or the other thing, and Darth
Vader was lik I Ain't Taking That Bllshit Anymore and then Choked him!
From an entire different Star System! ALso, took me until Yesterday to
realize oh, "Star System," that means, "Solar System." ...Probably should
have been able to figure that one out when I was younger...
What else. I was looking at Google Crunch The
Numbers, and they say there's FUcking 100 BILLION STARS JUST IN OUR GALAXY.
And there's like 100 BILLION GALAXIES. WHAT THE FUCK AR YOU TAKING
ABOUT THAT'S WAY TOO MANY THINGS TO BE GOING ON AT ONCE. Also they
appear to average ~1 planet a star. Presumably meaning most stars have no
planets, but when they do, oh boy, watch out! Ugh. I thought
it would be like, okay 500 or 600 stars per galaxy. Maybe around the
same amount of galaxies, and even THAT is a lot. FUCKIN 100 BILLION x
100 BILLION STARS? GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT C'MON. I've
probably talked about this before, but the one thing about Space that gets me
going is how if we're on a planet 100 million light years away, then we
look back at Earth, FUCKIN DINOSAURS GOING ON AND CRAP! There could
be sentient beings out there and they're like Hmm looks like we found
Dinosaur Life on this planet. Also we know what Dinosaur Life is because
we presumably had (OR ARE) dinosaurs here where we're from and whatnot.
The point is that's the closest we can get to time
travel, right? Seeing things that took place in the past. Which I
guess is everything. If you wanna be, "Abstract," about it!
Fascinating. I was thinking back to when I was in elementary school and
once every one or two weeks we would watch a Bill Nye: Some Science Guy and that
was a treat. And it was always either paired with watching a Magical
School Bus and/or a Ghostwriter. Don't remember being on board with
Ghostwriter one bit, not even enough to remember anything about it beyond the
name. Magical School Bus, though, that was a rare treat! Oh how we
loved the theme song. And there's a kid named Carlos in there.
Teacher is called Liz or something. Really makes ya think.
Was the School Bus Itself Alive? I forget. I know it could shrink
down to fit in our blood stream, or travel light-years at a time to transport us
Across Space. But I also feel like It Was Alive and talked to The
Teacher's Pet (Which was an actual lizard. Not a student who sucked up).
I'll look into that at some point presumably. Anyway. In the same
logic, if we see some planet 100 mill light years away, and they've got
dinosaurs, we gotta be like HOLY FUCK THEY GOTTA BE PEOPLE NOW AT THIS POINT
The point is I'm gonna have a bagel for lunch in a little
bit. We're talkin' Generous Amount Of Butter On Said Bagel.
Anyway, still making progress with Dick Van Dykes. I was reminded of that
because I was talking about, "Bagels," and there've been some scenes in the
first dozen episodes where People Are Eating Meals. Really makes ya
think, huh. II don't know what's going on anymore. Anyway I
realize I was a Jerk today because when Nurse came I wasn't wearing no mask.
Nurse was. Dad was. Mom wasn't but she was tucked away nicely in her
bedroom. Meanwhile I come down stairs, caution to the wind, pouring myself
coffee Like It Was Nothin! Now, I know I probably don't have
Covid, but you never know. Probably. I was feelin
kinda sick 2 nights ago, like perhaps the onset of a fever. But that
never grew, and in fact, went away. Looks like I'm Still Alive For Some
Reason No One Is Really Sure Of!
Cool! Anyway, hmm, time to kill before bagel, hmm,
gonna have to think about this one. Just 20 minutes on Twitter after
ending this section of entry and then eat bagel with last section of entry.
Sounds about right, it checks out and everything. I don't 100% understand
the logic behind Being Excited By Dinosaurs Especially In a Zoo Like Context.
I mean, I get that it's scientifically exciting To Be Able To Do That.
But what do you really get out of it, tangibly. Oh hmm some animal that
used to be around and hasn't been lately. Fascinating. What else ya
go. They're just animals like bison and buffalo and other stuff.
Yeah but Dinosaurs are MORE EXCITING! THEY'RE WEIRDER ON THE
EVOLUTIONARY SCALE THAT'S WHY. Hey, I convinced myself why I was
wrong! They ARE weirder on the evolutionary scale! I'll be back
in a bit!
Awesome. I dunno about you guys but I'm starting to get on board with
Longer Hair. We don't really have a choice, right? We can't moan
about it every day. Gotta reach a place where we're like well this is
the way it is, could be worse, I guess this is something I can work with.
#StarWarsSummerToDoSomething. Anyway, holdin' off bagel for Part II of
Part III of Entry. Fascinating. Anyway Spoiler Alert I
Was Wrong About Dick Van Dykes. I said the first 2 episodes both
involved one of the Van Dykes (Petres or something?) being sick-- but really it
was Episode 1 and Episode 11 or something. It just appeared to be
the first 2 episodes on the streaming service. I apologize for any
confusion this may have caused. I will step down from my position of
writing this website to Spend More Time With My Family and think about Where
Everything Went All Wrong.
Hey stepped back up into this position. Good
exercise! Like doin' a Stairmaster or somethin'. What else is
going on and crap. I've been reminiscing about being High On Marijuana
the last few nights. Part of it is tied up with looking forward to alcohol
which is also a mood alerting substance Per My Understanding. But yeah
I've been listening to music and sort of getting 10% there because The Same
Music naturally activates The Same Memories Of Being High Previous Times I've
Listened To The Music. 10% there is still pretty fun! Anyway.
For the most part, thinking back to high school or NYU always seemed like a long
time ago, but gettin 10% high On Music, I was like ya know what a dozen years
is NOTHIN'. Really makes ya think. No it doesn't.
But the point is Put Being 10% High Away and Get On
Board With Being 100% On Three Or So Beers Six Times A Week That's Right I
Crunched The Numbers of Getting 18 Cans A Week And Everything. Maybe I
just don't like my Mom. My dad is upset about probable
forced-retirement due to Covid, and that makes me sad. My Mom is upset
because she can't smoke cigarettes, and I'm kind of on board with that?
I dunno its not really a good 1 to 1 correlation. Sure it is Working is
My Dad's cigarettes! And smoking cigarettes is My Mom's job! So
you could see where my confusion and guilt lies and whatnot. Ugh.
Anyway, Just Started Lunch! I feel like ~25% of the
time I toast a bagel, it gets caught in the toaster. And 100% of those
times I'm like, well, fishing it out with a knife, that can't be safe.
Right? No, definitely not. ...is anyone looking. My Dad turned away
for a second, nows my chance to fish this out with a knife. And so far
I'm still 100% alive and am only 10% electrocuted! I'm probably only
90% alive, there's gotta be Some Death In Me, right? Like, if we're
all made up of symbiotic relations between micro-organisms, those
micro-organisms gotta be dying all the time? So some of me is constantly
dead is the point. Sounds bout 10% accurate.
Hey, possibly the last paragraph! Anyway are you
ready for The Real Good News? The half of bagel I just finished was the
Less Buttered Half! The next half has all the butter my little heart
desires! Or at least slightly more than the last half More Accurately!
Maybe make myself some macaroni for dinner tonight. It's either that or
Something Else. I've narrowed it down to those two things. Anyway,
finish Empire Strikes Back. Maybe start The Next Star Wars I Wanna say
Star War Rebels: Back In Action something along those lines. Return of
the jedi? That sounds wrong. The Jedi never left. Maybe
RESURGENCE of the jedi, that sounds like its more what you're trying to say.
I'll see you guys later for some reason no one is really sure of.
July 6, 2020
Like Where This Is Going
Episode IV of Star Wars this morning. Quick, Hot Takes-- 1) Non- CGI
C-3PO looks like a Children's Bowling Trophy. 2) why are two robots
(C-3PO & R2D2) friends? I mean, I can see them Working Together, but they
have falling outs and sarcasm and seem to have genuine feelings with each other
for some reason. Anyway, here is a Real Hot Take I've had since I was
a kid-- I don't relate to R2D2 AT ALL! I remember consciously
thinking that, and even when not consciously thinking that, that was the
subconscious thought through All Of Star Wars. Even when R2D2 is not on
screen. Yeah this is an interesting story but remember that R2D2 how am
I supposed to relate to this?
I dunno. I had this thought earlier today that when
I was a teenager, I thought it was funny to be offensive On The Internet.
And it makes me think, what percentage of the Alt-Right White Nationalist
Internet Presence is Just Children? I'd say easily the majority of
Racist ,"Alt-Right," Social Media Users are either Bots or Under 18.
I'm basing this on intuition. You might call it, "The Force!"
That's how the biggest source of power in the universe manifests itself in me.
Hmm gonna make some intuitions that very well could be wrong but I'm So Strong
I'll Make 'Em Anyway! Sounds about right. I wonder how much of
Fake Sibling Porn owes its existence to Star Wars. First thing Luke says
when he sees his sister is "OH MAN SHE'S BEAUTIFUL GIVE ME SOME OF THAT SWEET
SWEET YEAH YEAH" verbatim. Doesn't seem right!
Anyway here's a plot hole-- Obi Won Kenobi is played
by two different people and we're just supposed to buy that? Also,
James Earl Jones sounds NOTHING like Hayden Christianson! A lot
like Jake Floyd but that's neither here nor there! Well it Is Here.
Totally relevant to where Here is. Sounds about right. Is I
think it's Jake Lloyd. I knew that my entire life, but then I called him
Jake Floyd as a joke a few entries ago, and now I guess I think his name is Jake
Floyd... which it may be. LMLTURQ! Yep Lloyd. Hey Google
says Jake Floyd is 5'5! That's pretty short I'm On Board With That I
Wonder How He's Doing Now. Probably not well based on that height.
Oh well what can ya do not much. HJO was probably around that height based
on my memory. I wonder if there's a correlation/causation between child
stars and height.
It could either be Kids Who Get Cast To Be Stars are
inherently on the smaller size compared to their Actual Age. OR it could
be their parents are injecting them with Anti-Growth-Hormone their entire
adolescence so they can get cast as a kid for that much longer. I'm
putting my money on that! Sure I have money! I've got dozens and
dozens of quarters! Get off my back about it is the case! Not 100%
on the logic of seperating Luke & Leia at birth. Hmm twins. Well,
the obvious thing to do is not only separate them for some reason no one is sure
of, but one of them hits the jackpot and becomes royalty and the other one works
on some Dust Farm (as far as I know its a farm that deals in Dust).
I don't get it!
Anyway. I dunno how it turns out in Episodes 4-6, but
Future-Darth-Vader loses in almost all of his big Battle Fights. First he
gets his arm cut off. Then he gets cut in half completely. For
someone who is presumably THE most powerful guy, he sure does a lot of losing.
I like Sith Lords That DON'T get cut in half, is the point. Anyway.
Without being totally familiar with Star Wars at all as a kid, I remember
reading about, when the Prequels were being done, George Lucas was like oh I
always had this entire story planned out, Episodes 1-6 at least... and I
remember being like SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT TO ME! He's just trying to
sell his Prequels as being canon, but I think he's pulling this shit out of his
ass as he goes along! Now that I think about it yeah I'll give him
the benefit of the doubt. So the point is I Was Wrong And I'm Sorry.
Title Mean Anything To You
feel okay with that title. I'm extremely bad at Aiming Throwing Garbage
Out. From my chair or my bed, I'm about 8 feet away from Garbage Can.
I get probably around 8, 10 shots each day. Whether its gum, lollipop
sticks and/or wrapping, whatever. And not only do I always miss but I
always miss the same way! I always over shoot it. And then I have to
decide well do I wanna walk over and throw it out Manually? Or am I
Just Okay with leaving the gum on the ground to stick to carpet. It's
about a 50/50 shot each time this scenario presents itself. The point is
my life would be exponentially better if I had that Mini-Basketball Hoop you can
hang over a door as well as a Mini-Basketball to shoot into the Mini-Basketball
Hoop. Not only is it fun but its productive! That skill might
translate to throwing out garbage! Hmm really makes ya think.
I watched Superman III about a year ago. That's
kind of like binge watching SuperMen. More like watching A Prequel
to Office Space. No spoilers! Also I've seen that movie once or
twice and it's not about Office Space at all. It's about characters who
mostly work in offices. And their Work In Offices is the main part of the
plot. But the Office Space itself? Not really a big player in the
plot or conflict or anything. Yes It's The Setting for a good slice of the
movie but I don't call Spiderman... uh... I should probably think of The
Reference I'm GOing To Make based on its correlation instead of just thinking of
a movie and being like SPIDERMAN THAT'LL DO THE TRICK As Well As Any Other
Movie... because it doesn't.
It's like if Spiderman was called The Newspaper Office
where Peter Parker Sometimes Goes To Work. He doesn't work out of the
office. He just shows up here and there to personally deliver his
photographs. Gotta think if he's Freelancing it he could just do that by
mail or currier or something along those lines. Even when he Makes A Play
for a staff job when He's On Venom, I don't see him getting a desk there and
that being his 9-5. What the hell is this paragraph about again?
Oh, right. I saw a Superman Once (I saw Superman 11) and that equates to
binge watching Superman Right Now.
Jeez. How's the world going. Pretty sure
stuff is still going on more or less. Leave me out of it!
Alcohol is 4 days away! Leave me out of it! Wait, no. I
wanna be Into It With Alcohol. That's my campaign promise of July 10th-
~August 14th. Six weeks! Get Into It With Alcohol!
Should I specify Alcohol Brand? Probably! Otherwise it's just
sponsored by the Alcohol Advocacy Organization-- THE AAO. But, no. If
you're drinking Coors Light, Chores Might... be... more fun or something I don't
have all the details. That's the Campaign Promise Of That Commercial.
Anyway what was I talking about. Oh, right. I I forget.
Anyway why is there a Dark Side to the force anyway. The force is a good thing,
right? Why would a good thing Go Bad if there's too much of it.
That's like saying Star Wars Is A Good Thing but too much Star Wars
suddenly is ba... oh I see how it goes.
The point is I like imagining I'm talking to people who
like Star Wars because I Relate To Star Wars Nerds abstractly even without being
a Star Wars nerd myself. But talking about My Hot Takes activates In My
Imagination Possible Ways I Could Carry A Star Wars Conversation. It's
fun! I'm using the Dark Side to imagine these Nerds but it's
for a good cause! I think if its for a good cause the Dark Side should be
okay. If you're using it altruistically. That's MY Hot Take
On Star Wars! Also as far as I can tell The Force is just Telekinesis.
At least 90% of the time. And I guess Instincts. Like you can sense
what's about to come. But tangibly it's just hey I can pick up that
thing 8 feet away and do stuff with it. Fascinating.
Sense To Me
guess, to some extent. I don't really think you should use the dark
side in ANY situation. C'mon you know me I wouldn't Go All, "Dark
Side," On Ya! I can't wait to not talk to imaginary Nerds anymore.
So many other kinds of imaginary friends out there Why Should I Settle for Star
Wars Nerds? The point is hey part three of the entry!
What else is going on. Oh, right. Never having really watched The
Original Three Star Wars intently, just knowing the basics, it always bothered
me how Darth Vader is presumably the super villian but also Darth
Vader answers to a more politically powerful if not force-powerful person.
(The Emperor). It's like if we were fighting World War II but there was
another SUPER-Hitler that Hitler acted on behalf of. Kinda weird!
I'm full of Star Wars Hot Take is the point. Yeah
there was a super Hitler his name was FDR SPOILER ALERT. Look into it,
you'll be saying Hmm seems to check out actually. I guarantee it.
No i don't. Anyway what else is going on and crap. Gotta
figure that was a KKK-esque Hot Take in World War II. FDR and the Real
Fascists are trying to get us involved in a war we don't belong in and/or should
be on the other side of. Fascinating. I'm under the
impression the KKK isn't very powerful these days. Other groups have blown past
them in terms of attracting Trump Supporters. Also instead of saying
Racists I went with the synonym of Trump Supporters prove me wrong!
Cool. I wish I was alive when FDR was president.
Not so much that I wanted to be alive in the 1930's and 40's, but more that I
wanted FDR to live to be 200 and continue being president All Throughout Modern
History up to this point. I think that'd be really funny to see a person,
a president at that, progressing through his mid 100's before a national
audience! Also at some point you gotta imagine his legs would revive and
he can start walking again. You don't live into your 200's without your
body learning some Revival Skills. None of this makes sense.
But such is life!
Ugh. Watched me some more Dick Van Dykes. Now
I'm figuring out that I also like the Dick Van Dyke aspect. I liked the
writing and the plot and the characters and the Mary Tyler Moore but now I'm
also getting on borad with the Dick Van Dyke! Also no way is FDR
in his 200's. If he was president in the 40's, he couldn't have been past
his 70's or 80's... and its significantly Less Than 100 Years Since Then... I'm
gonna have to go back and Re-Crunch The Numbers on this completely.
The point is he's Dozens of Years Older than he should be and Isn't That
Enough? My guess? Yep, sure, what else ya got goin' on for me
in this entry. One more paragraph, huh? I can, "Dig," that.
Sounds good. Got about 1.5 chicken fingers left.
Gotta imagine I'll base some sort of lunch around that. Maybe just That
and a Soup or somethin'. Fascinating. So looks like I'm predicting
my Alcohol Summer Stage to be six weeks. I think that's a very long time
but also Hey I could be predicting Alcohol LIFETIME, six weeks, that's nothin'!
Good compromise is the point. Now all I need to do is to figure out what
other franchise to binge watch after #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething. I'll do
Harry Potter sure if its available to me! I feel like I've watched a solid
50% of Harry Potters. I assume its just a remake of the Home Alone
franchise. But Harry and his friends (Gerald and Hannah, I believe) use
Magic to foil robbers instead of Practical Jokes. Anyway I'll see ya
July 5, 2020
Know What This Is
I've got a lot of thoughts on Star Wars that I'll get to in a paragraph or two.
Real Hot Takes that no one has ever thought of before. Lemme lead off with
this, though, which is Space Fiction related. The Alien campaign slogan of
In Space No One Can Hear You Scream... look, if I'm already IN SPACE,
ALONE, and I'M SCREAMING FOR SOME REASON, other people hearing it is
pretty low on my list of concerns. Also, I'm pretty sure if you're Also In
Space, within a 10 feet Radius of The Space Screamer, sure you'll probably hear
them! I would re-write the campaign promise as When You're Alone No One
Can Hear You Scream. ESPECIALLY In Space For Some Reason!
The point is OH NO I'M IN SPACE AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS HAPPENING I NEED
TO SIGNAL TO SOMEONE MY FEAR AND ABJECT TERROR MAYBE THIS KIND SPACE BYSTANDER
WILL SAVE THE DAY ON MY BEHALF.
Anyway. Started binge watching The Dick Van
Dyke show and Boy Oh Boy am I on board with the Dick Van Dyke show. Seems
like the ideal life. You got writing comedy. You got Mary Tyler
Moore. You got that kid who seems great good for him. That's
about it, that's all you need! Also it's am amusing show-- I enjoy the
jokes and comedy in the dialogue and plots and Characters. Only 2
episodes into it but I've Got A Good Feeling About This One! Also
talkin' about Carl Reiner naming his son Rob, THIS GUY DICK VAN DYKE IS NAMED
ROB. Presumably after Rob Reiner was born, that's my assumption but I
guess I'll LTURQ.. yep by a large margin. Also I enjoy how its called
The Dick Van Dyke show when that's Just The Real Name Of The Star and isn't even
about him abstractly. Well maybe anstractly. When you put it that
way ANYTHING Can Be ABSTRACTLY. Anyway, I dunno if it was supposed to
be sort of satirish and/or ironic. Because the name applies when its like
Hey what show do you like and you're like Hey I like that Dick Van Dyke
show. Makes sense to me!
Anyway I've got A LOT of problems with Star Wars. 1)
Light Sabers. First of all, they serve no greater purpose than just
Regular Sabers. Except for how you can wave them to stop bullets, but that
doesn't make sense either. Lets say someone is shooting 2 machine guns at
you simultaneously. You can't just wave your light saber at light speed
and be like ALRIGHT GOT THAT BULLET GOT THIS OTHER BULLET ALRIGHT BLOCKED
THIS NEW BULLET... it's not physically possible! And in hand-to-hand
contact, yeah, you're just fencing essentially. And also, these epic
lightsaber battles that are the highlight of the movie-- these guys got NO
lightsbaer games. It's literally the same thing as Michael Cera doing
Light Sabers in Arrested Development which makes him the laughing stock of that
plot point. There's no difference. It's just actors waving around
their arms and then George Lucas is like alright go wave your arms around a
lot we'll make it look Epic in Post. OH NO ITS SPACE AN ALIEN IS
COMING I BETTER YELL TO SIGNAL TO PEOPLE I'M IN TROUBLE SO THEY CAN SA...
WAIT A SECOND THIS IS SPACE I FORGOT NO ONE CAN HEAR SCREAMS IN SPACE AS PER
THAT CAMPAIGN PREMISE FROM THAT SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE.
Anyway, about 1/3rd into Episode III. It's hard
for me to watch any sitcom from the 40's-60's and not have my main thinking
being hmm I guess that's what my Dad's life was like. Except for
the times I'm thinking hmm I guess that's what my Mom's life was like.
Usually Dad. If there's kids who have plot points usually the boys, that's
been my experience based on 40 minutes, and a plot where there are no girls in
it at all. Except, no, that's why I'm digging Dick Van Dyke. I dunno
if its just that I'm In The Right Headspace Now or This Is Just The Right Show
(probably both!) but now I'm relating to Adults in shows! Or not relating
to them! But being, "On board," with the adults as opposed to being like
hmm what's that kids life all about.
I saw Kanye West is, "Running," for, "President."
Hmm. Really makes ya think. Like, hmm, I wonder how many idiots
are out there that could realistically vote for him. That's the
main thing it makes you think about, that's been my experience. Also I
dunno if he would definitely take votes away from Biden. You'd think Trump
Votes Are Trump Votes and any 3rd party candidate would take away from Biden,
even if its .5%. However, his Real Base would presumably just be
dumb people which overlaps very cleanly with Trump Voters. So I dunno
what to think! Oh, not take it seriously. I forgot that was
an option. Anyway. Gonna have that fancy roast beef sandwich and
some crisps soon. Real soon. I'll be back soon!
Hoping You Knew
Why am I defining potential Kanye voters as dumb? 1)Trump must be defeated at
all costs, any non-dumb person can see that, and I don't see a scenario where
Kanye is more likely to beat him than Biden. 2)Kanye is Kanye West.
He's not Dumb, but he is, uhh, unstable? mentally ill? Based on my
limited knowledge of him as a person, at least. So it's dumb to want him
to be president based on that, regardless of what his politics and priorities
and whatnot are. 3)he can't win so it's dumb to waste a vote on him.
And if you have to make a, "Protest Vote," not sure he's the guy and this is the
election you wanna do it with. 4)this isn't a real thing?
Probably not, right? Anyway, though, it might be a good thing.
Maybe he's doing it so he can Raise Some Issues, issues we might be on board
with! But based on What I Know As Of Now, all I know is yeah probably
would be dumb for him to be president, and it's probably dumb for him to run,
and its probably dumb for us to take this with any degree of seriousness at all,
but beyond that, I dunno.
Anyway, this isn't Star Wars fault, but I was watching
Episode III during CircleWalk and I accidentally let my computer mouse hover
over the Line on the bottom of the screen which lets you Jump To Any Part Of The
Movie You Like, and it was all the way near the end, and I saw a Pop Up Screen
of Credits Rolling. So Now I Know There Are Credits At The End Of This
Movie. The point is I'd wager even money I'm Crazier Than Kanye but
then again I'm not running for president. Why bother I'm gonna win in a
landslide either way. When you're Me, running for president is an
after thought, totally unnecessary! I dunno, what else is going on and
crap. I can't decide if Kayne either Thought This Through and is 5
steps ahead of all of us with what he's going to do, or that seomehow he Thought
This Through to a Negative extent-- not only Didn't Think This Through At All,
but he did NEGATIVE Thinking Things Through Somehow. Or maybe somewhere in
the middle I DON'T KNOW!
Jeez. About halfway through the entry at this point.
Figure Today'll be finishing Episode III and some more Dick Van Dykes and
presumably some Strange Addictions and/or Interventions. It's a non
stop party. I dI did realize that the first instinct I had to Kanye
Announcing/Kanye's Potential Supporters/Presumably Kanye himself was Dumb,
and that's Trump's comment about Any Time A Black Person Does Something Or Just
Exists. They're low IQ. But I don't think Kanye is dumb. He's
probably a genius. I'm totally on board with half a dozen of his songs
completely and one day I'm sure I'll delve further into his catalogue and enjoy
it! So he's not dumb, he's just kind of crazy. Big difference!
But people who would support him-- black, white, other, non-raceXtertiarry uhhh...
the point is those people are dumb presumably.
Also yeah in most situations anyone who doesn't agree
with me is dumb. That's just life I can't control it I didn't ask for
it to be that way! It Just Is! I'm Wrong A Lot Of The Time based
on simultaneous mental illnesses. But take those things out of the
equation and I'm Right Most Of The Time. Anyway I wasn't a fan of how
in my neighborhood, FireWorks started around 10 PM and hadn't ended by the time
I fell asleep around 12:30. Uh.. it's 12:00 AM... THE NEXT DAY.
YOU MISSED YOUR SHOT Maybe You Shouldn't Have Started So Late! Which
is also an alternate take on Kanye. Yeah if you started campaigning
last December MAYBE WE'D TAKE A LISTEN TO WHAT YOU GOTTA SAY at this point Sorry
You Shouldn't Have Started Too Late, Now If You Wanna Start Campaigning for 2024
That's Another Story...
Sounds about right. Probably Be Havin' Some Lunch
for last section of entry. That sounds like fun. Also I'm on board
with Celebrating July 5th! Alright Quitting Being A Colony is a great
first step but the trouble is COMMITTING to it, you gotta go each day without
falling back on being a colony of England. Every day counts! July
5th, looks like you didn't cave and beg to be welcomed back to Great Britain,
Now Let's Celebrate... I dunno what I'm talking about anymore. The
point is Mmm I like that Meredith Tylerson Mooreville. Get off my
back about it! I dunno. I'll be back in a little bit.
Have Any Idea
Am I supposed to watch Han: A Solo Movie before I watch Episodes IV-VI?
Someone please give me the answer @
Mankindguy@gma*l.com. Lol. Gmarl. I get it.
Anyway, the last few months I've been Doing Sandwiches Wrong because when I
choose to heat up Sliced Meats in microwave, the sandwich ends up sloppy and
wet. Because it activates the juices! So this time I put the meat in
microwave, came out juicy, soped up the juice, then had the sandwich and
it all worked out for the best! Yeah Juice Is Where The Flavor Lives but
we all have to make sacrificies in search for A Better Sandwich and this is the
sacrifice I had to make today. Anyway. A week from now I
shuold be done with #StarWarsSummerToDoSometing. That's good news!
Cool. ALSO in search for a better sandwich, I compromised between Not
Toasting Bread and Toasting Bread, by Toasting It Lightly! AND THAT WORKED
Ugh. When Ruffles Nutrition says 12 Chips is 160
calories, how do they define a chip? I mean, I know what a Nice, Regular,
Standard Chip looks like. But that's like 10% of the bag. The rest
are tiny Pieces of Chips. But is that what counts as a chip.
Is the Big Chip the official chip, and 12 of those are 160 calories? Or is
the Standard Chip, The Most Common Chip, is it only 12 of those that are
160 calories? I hope someone figures this out one way and then e-mails me
the answer @gmarl.com. Cause there's a strong case to be made either way.
Anyway, I dunno, end of entry is in sight. That's exciting. Figure
when I'm done here I'll watch some bullshit I don't have to pay attention to.
Then after that I'll watch some Better Bullshit that I have to half way pay
Cool. Yes I realize its complicated to want Dick Van
Dyke's Fictional Character's life because it was over 50 years ago and Things
Have Changed and also That Was A Fictional Life In The First Place. But
it's nice to have a thing where I'm like well THAT man oh man! Also
I'm 40 minutes into a series that's very possibly tens of thousands of minutes!
His life can go sour at any moment! Also EVERY EPISODE I'VE SEEN has,
"Getting Sick," as a key part of the plot. 1st episode? Dick wants to go
to a party hosted by the TV Show He Writes For's star, but Mary Tyler Moore is
worried their kid is sick and wants to stay home. No Spoilers on what
happens! But episode II Dick Van Dyke HIMSELF becomes sick and
that's... uh... HOLY SHIT DID THEY INTEND THIS? Hey the kid is sick
in the first episode, spreads to Dick Van Dyke in the second episode and we
never even call attention to it... oh man they were working with multi-episode
Plots I had no idea! Cracked that code. Why is it, "WE' never
even call attention to it." I wasn't involved in writing this show at
all! Not as far as I know!
Ugh. The good news is This Week Is All About Diet Dr.
Pepper. Last couple weeks was splitting time between pepsi and orange
soda. Not this week! This week I'm, "All In," with Diet Dr. Pepper.
Which is my campaign premise for them. Go, "All In," With The
Doctor! Also I get that carbonated beverages were originally
prescribed by Doctors to help with one thing or the other, but that doesn't
explain why The Soda ITSELF is called Dr. Pepper. That's like
inventing Polio Vaccine and they're like alright just gonna inject some Dr.
Jonas Salk into ya, that should fix 'er right up. I assume he was a
doctor. If Jonas Salk was Anything Other Than A Doctor that would be the
big story, right? LAYMAN CURES POLIO! is one headline off the top
of my head.
Wonderful. Another entry in the books practically.
Kanye West 2020-- when you're famous they let you do it. Run for
president, I mean. And gain national attention for it. I dunno
I'm sure Kanye West is qualified to be president for some reason no one is
really sure of. That'd by my guess! Man, you don't just
QUALIFY to be president! Don't put people in boxes, man! Anyone
can be a president! You make an interesting point but on the other
hand I Disagree Pretty Strongly. Also I question the motives of someone
Who Wants To Be President in general. Why do they want
as-close-to-near-absolute-power-as-they-can-imagine? That's not the
kind of president we want! We want a president who doesn't even want to be
president! That'll do it for today. I'll see ya later.
July 4, 2020
Sure When You Put It That Way
Great! Again, had something vaguely worth sharing right before waking up
this morning. It was in the form of a Joke! It went, I have a
very active sex life. I have several female imaginary friends.
... that's it. It's funny because it's true! Except for the very
active sex life part. That's wholly inaccurate no matter what the next
sentence says. Great. Also had another DreamPlot sort of
right before waking up. My Dad was getting Food Delivery From Diner for
first time since Quarantine but he never asked me what I want and I was like
REALLY? REALLY? And then I started thinking about what I
would want and, in the dream, was like, well steak would be the obvious
choice but you know what what if I went with FRENCH TOAST. Then again, all
this is moot, because my Dad already placed the order. Then again, all
this is moot, because it's just dumb things I dreamt.
Cool! I've been having French toast once every 8-10
days During Quarantine. That'd be a huge bust getting French Toast
as First Meal Back In The Land Of The Living. Anyway, about 3/4ths through
Star Wars Episode II: Presumably Some Clones Attack But I'm 3/4ths Through And
So Far I've Seen Manufacturing Of Clones But No Attacking. Also
that's not what clones are. The presumptive clones are robots. Clones
are you take the DNA of a LIVING creature and then make more of them. This
is just attack of the Robots Who Are The Same As One Another. That
settles that. Also I don't get how a handful of Jedi are a supreme
peace keeping force across the galaxy. I've seen them in 1 on 1 combat,
and they usually come out on top, but once they're out numbered 3 or 4 to 1,
they start struggling. Uh there's like a dozen or two of them Overall
and MILLIONS AT LEAST OF BAD GUYS. Just send a dozen bad guys against
1 Jedi and BOOM 5% of the jedis are lost in just One Confrontation!
These are the real issues for some reason. Mom watched
Hamilton last night. I didn't! I was taking a shower when she
started and didn't wanna See Any Spoilers 30 minutes in. Do we win the
revolutionary war? Probably. Sounds about right. Also when
I was a kid WE SPOKE OF OUR ELDERS WITH RESPECT THAT'S MR. HAMILTON TO
YOU. Anyway, gotta imagine there's some Hamilton Descendants that are
demanding royalties from Broadway Musicals, right? That's what I'D do.
Ugh the life and times of someone is a matter of public record. Then
how come I've been paying royalties to Darth Vader's Estate even just TALKING
about Star Wars? Well he sure SEEMED legit. He said The Evil
Emperor died and he, Darth Vader's Grandson is on the verge of inheriting 5
million dollars as long as I front him some, IT'S A GOOD DEAL!
Also if The Yankees were The Evil Empire does that
make Joe Torre The Evil Emperor? Because I gotta say I don't feel
strongly one way or the other about Joe Torre. That's all I have to say
about that. Anyway, hey, great, what else is going on and crap.
Wait a second, Darth Vader's Granson... Uh... that would be "Ben
Solo." That's what internet said. Yeah I just googled, "Darth
Vader Ancestry," it was fun and informative! Is Adam Driver Ben Solo?
Probably. LMLTURQ. Yep checks out. Hmm the point is
either way this guy is not to be trusted. If he's making it up then
obviously its a scam. But even if it is him, I know for certain
Kylo Ren is not on the up and up I don't wanna get involved with this character
Also I was kinda surprised Yoda and Samuel L Jackson (The
Link Between #MarvelSummerToRemember and #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething) were
pretty on board with Obi Wan Kenobi teaching Hayden Christianson about the
force. Look, Yoda sensed in him much fear. He was pretty adamant
about this guy is no good. And then his Jedi subordinate, a person
IN GOOD STANDING with Yoda even after this act of defiance, is like
nah I'm just gonna teach him anyway. And Yoda is just COOL WITH THAT?
I don't get it! Also I get that if you don't train Anakin Skywalker you
don't get a Luke or Lea Skywalker and if you don't have them you don't have etc,
etc... the point is... uhh... I forget. Oh. Family is
important. And half of your family will be evil super villains but that's
just part of life. Sounds about right. Oh, right.
Natalie Portman is another crossover between MarvelSummer and StarWarsSummer.
Hey how about that.
Play That Crap With Me
Okay! Not sure why Adam Driver (either in character or not) is trying to
scam me out of a few thousand dollars. Seems like he'd have bigger fish to
fry. Also what kind of dummies think that Frying Fish is the main way to
cook them. Yeah there's Fish Filets and Fish and Chips but that's just the
dumbest cheapest unhealthiest way to do it. You really wanna bake some
fish or something. Look I'd rather eat Fried Fish too, but it's too
unhealthy! We shouldn't be promoting unhealthy eating habits in our adages
or metaphors or whatever I was talking about I don't really 100% fully remember.
Also I like how the premise of BIGGER fish to fry works in this metaphor.
Yeah you can easily handle frying some fish, not too hard, ooooop some guy
just brought in a REALLY BIG FISH TO FRY HOLD ALL MY CALLS THIS IS GONNA TAKE
Something along those lines, right? Settled on
#StarWarsSummerToDoSomething. Feels about right. Also it reminds me
of Russell Brand's Rock Star Anthem in Forgetting Sarah Marshall Do
Something. It reminds of that because it's the Same Two Words.
Not exactly a mystery why that would come to mind at all! Anyway woke up
relatively late today at around 12:00. That's not relatively late
that's late. You'd think so, right? What are your Quarantine
Schedules like e-mail me at
mankindguy@gma*l.com I wanna hear from you! Lol. Gmarl.
I get it. I hope not. Anyway got full-out Crisps from super
market yesterday. NOt Popped. Not Baked. Not
Kettled. Just A Party Size Bag of Original Ruffles! Also you
know its a party because the bag is 1.33x the size as a non-Party bag.
It's a regular good ol' fashioned July 4th BBQ but only me, party size bag of
chips, and Dream Frenched Toast.
Where the Hell are the Fish Filets when you need 'em.
Not sure what that sentence accomplished. Cool! I'm having
fun watching Star Wars because it's like yeah I'm relatively further along in
Finishing Watching Star Wars! And also each day I'm watching Star Wars
UnDrunk is closer to the day I will be done watching Star Wars or Almost Done
Watching Star Wars OnAlcohol! So basically that's where I'm at for
what the next week'll probably be all about. You heard it here
first! I hope so. If other people are talking about my life, in
contexts I haven't even figured out yet, well, then, that's a No Bueno
situation. Maybe that's what Adam Driver was accomplishing with his
Scamming Me. GOD DAMN KYLO REN FIRST HE TAKES MY MONEY THEN HE TAKES
MY LIFE CONTEXT AND SHARES IT WITH PEOPLE BEFORE I EVEN KNOW IT. This
Is The Life We Chose.
Road To Perdition quote. I always liked it.
Anyway, what else is going on and crap. I keep trying to Whistle Star
Wars but every time I try I start Whistling Superman. I just tried to
do it Again JUST NOW HAVING SAID THAT and I failed yet again! Alright
here we go DAMNIT alright again DAMNIT again YEAH FINALLY DID IT! See I
knew writing these entries I'd eventually accomplish something worthwhile.
Also, full disclosure-- the 3rd time around when I finally did it, I finally
started off on the right note, and then figured well that's good enough no
reason to follow through with this I already got the hard part out of the way.
This Is The Life No One Ever Chose.
Jeez. I dunno. Chicken Fingers &
Crisps for an early dinner tonight. If I have to eat Another Meal I'll
have Fancy Kobe Roast Beef Sandwich as a Late.. 2nd... dinner... fascinating
what else is going on and crap. Anyway, as a replacement for
Interventions, I started re-bingewatching My Strange Addiction.
And this time around I'm Not In A Good Headspace For It. Because for 2 out
of 3 of them, I'm like Hmm I could see the positives in that I WON'T try it
but I dunno part of me KINDA wants to! People who drink blood, eat
hair, have sex with inflatable pool toys or balloons or their cars. All
these things I'm like well its not for me but I Get It, I'm There With Ya.
Except for balloons. I can think of few things more grating than a
balloon. They feel weird. They sound and look weird. If you
pop it that's an assault on all the senses. And because of this is you
have to super careful not to pop it, which is a hassle. So yeah I
don't like balloons one bit. Now, LOVING a balloon though, that's a
different story. Opposites Attract is the point?
We're Getting Somewhere
No way! What else is going on and crap. Hey guess whose an adult and
shaved himself again? This guy! That's like a dozen shavings in the
last 4 months which is legit the most I've ever shaved myself in such a period
of time in my life. Fascinating. Anyway, I dunno, part III of
III of entry! Finally sorted out my difficulties with Coffee Machine.
Last dozen times I made coffee grinds be goin' everywhere up on top where the
filter is. My hypothesis was because I was making too much at a time.
It has space for up to 14 cups and I was doin' around 8 at a time. Which
is much more than I used to top out at, at around 4 or 6. So to experiment
today I only made 5 cups and It Went Over Like Gangbusters which I believe is an
The Untouchables phrase. And in this context it means coffee grinds
didn't go everywhere.
It's funny because it's Another Paragraph Down.
Makes ME laugh! Jeez. After starting to watch the
StarWarsRelativeSnoozeFest, I appretiate the #MarvelSummerToRemember a little
bit more. Was it the best movies of all times? No! Were they
all in the top half of movies of all the times? No! But they Did
Their Job and Accomplished Their Mission Statement and Killed Roughly 45, 50
Hours Pleasantly Enough! We should only be so lucky if #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething
ends up accomplishing more or less the same thing, which is my guess!
Anyway, I keep trying to think of a Third Link between StarWars and Marvel but I
can't figure it out. I keep trying to think of Ewan McGregor. I
think of Ewan McGregor, and I'm like nope I don't think he was in Marvel.
and then my next thought is Ewan MacGregor and I'm like yep still don't think
he was in Marvel. And then I go back to Ewan McGregor and am like
nope still pretty sure he wasn't in Marvel still. That is a 100%
accurate account of my inner monologue except for the fact that overall it's
happened at this point about 10, 12 times instead of 3.
I guess. Star Wars was the first thing I ever learned
to play on any instrument. Just the basic one-note-at-a-time riff on the
piano. And for some reason that was enough to satisfy my musical creativity from
ages 0-15. Figured that out intuitively enough at some point, then was
like well that's the Top Song why bother figuring out anything else.
Makes sense to me. Pretty sure I started Guitar in ~Spring 2004.
Which would have made me 15. Oddly enough, never made a habit of
playing the Star Wars Riff AT ALL on guitar until yesterday or so when I was
like I'ma figure this one out!. Went from being My Only Music to
Nothin' At All. What else is going on and crap. #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething
will be continuing very soon with me finishing Episode II: Captain America
Wonderbar. 2 Paragraphs To Go! So far my favorite
take on Hamilton I've heard was my Dad saying I didn't realize it would be in
Hip-Hop. Also one of only 2 or 3 takes I've heard on Hamilton In
Person, so its not that hard a decision. The point is I'll probably watch
Hamilton at some point. That's the Hottest Take On Hamilton I've Heard In
Minutes! Anyway whens the next Avengers movie. #MarvelLifeTimeToRemember.
Ugh. Hey is there a place I can bingewatch Spidermen. Or
Batmen. Seems like something that should be available to the American
Public in a JUST world. I figure if I recommend it in this
paragraph we're on a few business days from it manifesting on Streaming Apps.
Also are applications still called Apps if they're websites and/or on a
Computer. Or if they're the, "Starter' Section" At Applebees. Could
have said any adequate-ish chain restaurant for an Appetizer Pun. I chose
the one that STARTS UNRELATEDLY with Apps? Seems I could have made
that pun is a less clunky way! Too late to go back now! We're Pot
Committed At This Point!
Last paragraph! That'll do for today. I wonder if
anyone goes on My Strange Addiction because they're like well the way
I am living is unequivocally The Best and I'm going to try to accomplish
Spreading This Across The World. Like the guy who is into inflatable
pool toys. He's confident that he'll inspire a Renaissance of People Who
Have Intimate Relations With Inflatable Pool Toys and he's doing society a huge
solid by putting his story out there. Personally, I think he's crazy
either way, because if that idea of His Perfect World does come to fruition,
he's gonna cause a huge spike in Pool Toy Sales and now if he wants to start
a new relationship its gonna cost him ~.5% more Per Pool Toy. Makes
sense to me. The point is I'll see you tomorrow.
July 3, 2020
Don't Remember Star Wars
Awesome. I had a
dream right before I woke up today that I was writing Back To The Future IV and
the first scene in Back To The Future IV was Me Writing The First Scene of
Jurassic Park IV. I get there's Jurassic Worlds, now that I've woken up
and given it some thought, but I stand by my Dream-Idea of returning to the
original franchise with those characters and basic ethos. Anyway
2/5ths into Star Wars I: Captain America Begins and ya know what JAR JAR BINKS
IS AWESOME. What's WRONG with you people I LOVE THIS GUY. And I
dunno if he's racist. He talks really fuckin' stupid but he's A GREEN
ALIEN c'mon. There's some guys on Tattooine that are cartoonishly into
money and I'm not like WELL THOSE ARE OBVIOUSLY JEWS! Although I
was like THOSE ARE OBVIOUSLY JEWS so there's that I guess.
Alright I'm on board with both Money Hungry Aliens and Aliens Who Talk Like
That. I feel somewhat strongly about this.
The point is FiveThirtyEight made it harder to access the
Generic Congressional Poll and I'm not happy about it! It's still easy to
find, but its not on the front page anymore! How am I supposed to be
soothed by generally unchanging positive polls now?!? Clicking ONE EXTRA
HYPERLINK TO GET THERE? NOT IN MY LIFE TIME! Anyway got
Super Market Delivery this morning. That's all taken care of except for
the parts of it I haven't done yet. So the good news is Some Fresh
Meatloaf and Potato Spheres for dinner tonight, most likely some Fresh Frozen
Pizza for lunch today! I already left it out of the Freezer to defrost!
Pretty much pot committed at this point! I'm in it to win it with Digornio.
Which is my suggestion for a new Campaign Slogan if they decide to drop Its
not Delivery Its Digornio.
Which, I'm gonna be honest, is a synopsis for pizza I have
mixed feelings about. It never made me want to get Digornio! Because I
Like Delivery Pizza! You're telling me right up front it's NOT delivery
well you've lost me I'd prefer it if it WAS! I'd much rather they
would say, It's LIKE Delivery, It's Digornio. But anyway the
Campaign Premise, yeah, I personally don't like, but I do realize its succeeded
at making people remember it and think of this brand specifically. Just
not always in a positive way. But anyway I've crunched the numbers and for
some reason the phrase I'm In It To Win It With... applies directly and
specifically with Frozen Pizza. I just TOLD YOU I CRUNCHED THE
NUMBERS AND EVERYTHING. Why won't anyone believe me?!
Anyway besides Jar Jar who I un-ironically enjoy not much
to this movie so far. Also I've seen this kid Anikan NOT IMPRESSED.
They sasay he's got Jedi Potential but I just don't see it. Just
some dumb kid. He's good at building things but c'mon it's the
FuturePast, all kids build robots Back Then In The Future. Also
besides his Pod Racer, the main thing he's built was C-3PO whose best attribute,
per my understanding, is his ability to speak Every Language. Uhh...
how do you make a robot that speaks every language... when you're a Slave Boy
living on one planet with no experience with 99% of languages. Unless
he just bought a Language chip that he puts in his robot to make it
speak. In which case, like I said, NOT THAT MUCH OF A BUILDER THIS
THING IS 90% PRE-ASSEMBLED ALREADY.
The point is I'M NOT BUYING IT. Also why couldn't
they just wait an extra 2 or 3 years to make the movie so they could have HJO
waiting in the wings to play Jake Lloyd. Wait, he's playing Jake Lloyd?
Yeah it's like a Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder situation. He's
playing Jake Floyd playing Anakin StarWalker. Hmm there's a few things
in that sentence I can point out to be wrong. Anyway I'm about One
Week + 1 or 2 hours away from Drinking Beer. Let's crunch some numbers 7 x
24 sounds like 168 to me off the top of my head? NAILED IT!
I just did 7 x 25 - 7 DUH I keep telling you I'm Professor Genius GET OFF MY
BACK ABOUT IT. My therapist would be so proud of me. That's her job now
per my understanding! HMM MAYBE I HAVE THE FORCE, BEING ABLE TO DO MATH
IN 4-6 SECONDS. I'll get that checked out one day.
Michael, you've tested positive. SO I'VE GOT THE FORCE?
No you've got Coronavirus. You just gave your parents a death sentence.
Way To Go. SO I'VE GOT THE FORCE, EHH....
At Least I
I was thinking about it,
and I wonder if Differences In Teeth lead to and/or are caused by differences in
diet. I mean, you have some different orthodontistry to your teeth, you're
biting on things differently, and if you bite on things differently, you may eat
more or less, and/or you may eat different things, and so on. Also, say
you got a chipped tooth, that might effect things too. I mean, just think,
overbite vs underbite. You're crunchin' on whatever with your teeth
DIFFERENTLY its a wholly different experience no reason to think it wouldn't
effect your Dietary Choices And Practices! NO REASON AT ALL. JUST
LIKE FOR THIS PARAGRAPH! NO REASON AT ALL.
Anyway, having some difficulty trying to decid whether
this Star Wars Summer should be remembered or forgotten. I feel like To
Remember is more positive, but To Forget is more fun. Or reversed. I
dunno! Leaning towards #StarWarsSummerToRemember. These are
the important issues facing our country. Well, Yeah!
Also Also if I start drinking again gotta imagine that'll help me Not
Remember Things. That an important part of the equation and as we all know
I love equations I can solve them all within 4-6 seconds per my experience in
previous paragraphs! Anyway #StarWarsSummerToForget. I'll flip a
coin or something. 10 Times. One Flip could be a fluke, we need to
give the universe an opportunity to really show what it prefers. Which is
Ten flips apparently.
The good news is, at this exact moment in time which no
longer exists, I will be having Pizza in slightly less than 2 hours.
Hmm. It still IS slightly less than 2 hours even accounting for time
continuing to progress. Even NOW. Man, I don't believe this.
I'm gonna keep you guys updated on this situation as it progresses. Or,
more easier, I'll let you know when this situation is done progressing.
And lunch is either Less than Slightly Less Than Two Hours Away or somehow MORE.
Anyway. Also Back To The Future IV wasn't about me. Or Jurassic Park
IV, even, really. That was just the opening sequence. But the point
is I Won't Keep You Updated On That Situation As It Progresses because the dream
is over. No more dream! Such is life.
Cool! Anyway the point is I wasn't able to watch the
Hulk and the Two Avenger-Spidermen but I feel like I got most of what I was
supposed to get out of Avengers:The Film Franchise. Anyway MeatLoaf and
PotatoSpheres is a GREAT fresh dinner to have because I Don't Have To Do A
Thing! All that needs to be done, I think, is put it in the oven, and my
Mom is pot committed to doing that! In the sense that she's done it the
last 3 times we've gotten it. If she decides to be like Mike you take
care of it this time I would be like Nope pretty sure you're pot
committed to this whole thing. Which would be weird because she
doesn't know Like You And I Do that I use the phrase Pot Committed way more than
I should in situations where it's not an applicable phrase to use. She
doesn't get me at all. You, though, you get me.
Pot Committed at this point.
What else is crappening. Tomorrow is July
Fourth which is some kind of holiday I wanna say Independence Day? Yeah
there was a movie about it now I remember. There was also an Elliott
Smith song about it. There was also a sequel to the movie about it.
Those are the 3 things which Independence Day Is From. Is there a
solid 5-10% chance Trump tweets something like THANKS TO ME AMERICA IS FREER
THAN EVER! And basically his premise is that now HE IS
INDEPENDENCE DAY. My guess is yeah sure why not what else is going
on and crap. They didn't even celebrate independence day before
me, not really. I said there were some great patriots, they gave us our
independence, and I said I think we should celebrate that...
Fascinating. Anyway, hey, still slightly
less than 2 hours until I eat lunch. I dunno. Now it's slightly
less than 1.75 hours.. I guess that's a dividing line. So, wonderful, what
else is going on and crap. Today and yesterday only had 2 cups of coffee.
Gotta wonder if that'll pay off in the long run. Doesn't have much of
an impact on The Long Run at all. Yeah you'd think so. And the
thing is Digornio DOES taste like delivery. Which is good!
But they're sort of implying they're diametrically opposed to delivery and I
dunno I don't think it's working out for them as well as I'm In It To Win It
With Digornio! would be. Just trying to help, that's all I'm here for.
Trying to help Frozen Pizza market itself better. My main purpose in life.
I'll be back in a little bit.
Don't Know What To Think
Decided to have
lunch about 45 minutes sooner. Making this entire entry up to
this point Irredundtanent. Oh well such is life. I was just
thinking about it and 130K deaths in the USA is thatssa lotta deaths.
Both overall and also each day is a lot. These last few weeks, which is
down compared to its worst (And future-worst!), it calls about 1/2 the
amount of Any Cancer Kills each day. So the point is I'm
ANTI-COVID-19 which is a political stance for some reason? I Don't Have
All The Details on why but hey that's life I guess. If nothing else
from the Trump era kills the Republican Party once and for all, ya gotta think
History will be like well clearly a party that, without exaggeration,
encourages its members to get and spread a highly deadly pandemic disease,
that's not sustainable as a legitimate political party at all! We'll
see, I personally can't wait to find out!
Anyway pot committed to Star Wars Now? I guess. I
can watch like 2-3 hours of Star Wars a day, though, as opposed to 4-5 hours of
Marvel A Day. Also I can do whatever I want #StarWarsSummerToRemember
or #StarWarsSummerToForget are not legally binding promises I can bail on this
premise any time I want. The point is It's Not Digornio, It's
Delivery would be a commercial that Peaks My Interest. That's a
freebee for Hermain Cain, he needs all the help he can get these days.
Anyway, are there places in outer-suburbs or rural areas where they're like Food
Places that deliver and they sent out newsletters saying Yes We're Still Open
and Yes NONE OF US WEAR MASKS OR SOCIALLY DISTANCE! And then the
people who get those newsletters are now you're speaking my language I think
I'll buy food from THEM.
My guess is Yes people are that dumb these days.
Republicans have the stupidest presidential candidates. Hi, I Lost
More Money Being A Real Estate Failure than any other man ever.
PRESIDENT. Hi, I'm in charge of a Pizza Franchise.
I LIKE THAT WE'LL PUT HIM IN THE MAYBE PILE. Also gotta imagine
Herman Cain is involved in pizzagate. The Pizza World is too small
for a Gate to be going on and Herman Cain not to at least know about it.
So Republican QNONers show up at Herman Cain events and they're like look you
know pizza, throw me a bone here, whats that all about I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE
GOT PIZZA IN COMMON. Also, I'm not 100% what PizzaGate is, but my
impression its something like Clintons & Others operate a Pedophilia Ring...
out of a pizza place? Well it sounds stupid when YOU say it...
I was thinking about it and the one thing Trump is
good at is Being A Criminal. I mean he's All Sorts of Criminal. And
thus far has gotten away with 99% of it! So at this point he's Knocking
Being A Criminal Out Of The Park! At some point his luck might run out, I
dunno, its possible. But at this point Great Job Doing Many Deplorable
Crimes! I just think its ODD that there's both a Product 19 and a
Covid 19 and most of us never heard of Products or Covids 1-18. Hey
what's the story about six and a third times three. Product 19.
Professor Genius strikes again! I guess. Alright I just
finished pizza. Almost finished with this paragraph. Then finished
with entry after Next Paragraph!
LOL I JUST IMAGINED JAR JAR SPEAKIN' HIS SILLY NONSENSE AND
THAT GUY CRACKS ME UP. If we were to have an academic discussion and you
convinced me He's A Racist Caricature That I Shouldn't Enjoy then I will
CONSIDER your point of view and MAYBE adjust my levels of pleasure when I see
and hear him go. Because at that point its ruined now I won't enjoy Jar
Jar for being Jar Jar then I'll just SEE the stereotype and once you see it you
can't un-see it. Why is all that in italics I should have easily said
the last few sentences without emphasis at all. Anyway I saw this movie in
the Theaters and I don't remember it that well except for everything in the
Weird Al Song "The Saga Begins (to the tune of American Pie)". WhiWhich
is pretty much everything. The entire plot. Committed to memory.
So, uh, I forget. #StarWarsSummerToDoSomething. I'll see ya later.
July 2, 2020
Is July Two
First was gonna say, "July Too." Then was gonna say, "July 2." Never
thought to say, "July To," but now I do. Ultimately settled on, "July
Two." I stand by my decisions even (ESPECIALLY) when they're shown to
be empirically wrong, as in this case. Kinda crappy title.
Anyway 1/2 way through Captain Marvel and Hey This Is A Pretty Good Movie Too!
So far I've seen that the protagonist is The Captain Of Something but beyond
that I have no clue what her name is. Spoiler Alert-- Turns out to
Be Marvel per my understanding and assumptions. I just spoiled
something for myself and the spoiler itself might be inaccurate. Well
IT SPOILED THIS PARAGRAPH THAT'S FOR SURE.
That paragraph was a Snooze from Word One! Let's Be
Honest! Gotta PhoneCallAppointment with my Psychiatrist in about half an
hour. Lets see if I could finish Section I of entry before then! See
it hardcore! The piont is if I get one thing out of the #MarvelSummerToRemember
is that in essence its a #MichaelPenaSummerToRemember that guy is silly and
charming lets talk about it! Or at least the character(s) he plays(ed).
Turns out Actors are phonies they don't actually mean what they say and do
in Films! Spoiler Alert. Anyway. Maybe if I was mor
invested in Comic Books and Comic Book Movies (shouldn't we jut call them Comic
Movies?), I would have realized all throughout 2009-2019 We Were In One Big
Movie. I thought each of the 30 Marvels between them were just like hey
decided to make an THOR for now just felt right. Now I see it was a
big prolonged Scam and I refuse to fall for it again in the 2020's!
Fascinating. Just gonna take that break now to prepare for
great just great. Saw FreshDirect sells beer. Probably gonna start
drinking Beer Next Week! #WeekWithoutBeerButAnticipatingItToRemember!
%LetsGo%. Been 2 months without beer its time I reward myself with
something bad for some reason I dunno I don't have all the details I wanna say
it' chemically and cognitively and emotionally addictive? Sure I know
what words mean cognitive means BrainThoughts. Emotionally means
IFeelThisWayOrSomething. Chemical MeansLike
HeyThere'sChemicalsGoingOnForSomeReason. WellWell that settles that.
A week to go! I'm gonna drink all that BUD Light or COORS Light you know
The Good Stuff! I could have gotten it for this Friday but I was like
Ya know I wanna start #StarWarsSummerToRemember off right! I don't
wanna be drunk for the beginning, I need to Get Into It in a healthy mindset AND
THEN start abusing alcohol for some reason no one is really sure of.
Hmm looks like I'll start abusing alcohol Right ARound The Best Movies Are.
4-6, right? Alright #StarWarsSummerToRemember returning to the sweet
warm embrace of alcohol with The Real Good Star Wars movies! I'll remember
that summer all day if I have to!
wonderful, just wonderful. Mom finally ran out of cigarettes fo
herself, as her plan. She was smoking less and less until when she runs
out and then Hey Great Chance For Her To Quit! So basically today she had
me going through everything in my room to make sure I don't have A Loose
Cigarette for Her. I told her about how 7/11 delivers (also 7/11= .63
NOW YOU KNOW)... ANYWAY just talked to Doctor. Was telling
her how becaus I live with elderly/pre-existing parents I'm not leaving the
house at all and she was like I'm very proud of you a lot of younger
generation don't do that and care about parent's health and I was like
MAN I've been talking to you for half a year and not really on board with your
whole, "Deal," but you saying you're proud of me NOW I GET IT AHHH THIS IS WHAT
That's gotta legit be one school of psychiatry, right?
Just Positive Reinforcement. That's probably how Normals see/use it.
If that's the case I could be a physiatrist like it was nothin'! Just have
a half dozen phrases I cycle through. Hey that's great just great.
What else is going on. ...okay only Two Phrases but those are all you
need! BBut the trick is you gotta REALLY MEAN IT when you say thats
great just great and you gotta BE REALLY CURIOUS AS TO what else is going
on. Hmm this sounds Easy and Helpful. You could do it online,
too. You could do it however you want I ain't here to constrict a new
Psycientartform. Also you paint pictures while talking to them. I
dunno why but That's Part Of It. I'll be back in a little bit!
Point Is Its Gonna Be July For A While
Maybe it shuold be #StarWarsSummerToForget.
That makes a lot of sense. I like the premise of Star Wars fans because
they're like THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER THAT I ONLY ENJOY 10% OF!
Probably, at least. I'm using, "The Force," to imagine what a Star
Wars Fan might be line. Anyway. I just used, "The Force," to make
myself a toasted bagel and now I am, "Eating," it with my, "Hands and/or Mouth."
Also I am fully aware that it's probably 7-11 and not 7/11, in which case the
answer is Negative Four. I guess. Already brought up the
Potential Beer Purchase with my Dad which is the most stressful part of the
whole thing. And I'm sure he was disappointed but he didn't make me feel
as shitty as he could have.
Cop shows up at a Spouse Beating and the guy is like I Was
using THE FORCE on her to get her to shut her Yap! And cop is like no
that's just regular Force. And the guy is like yeah but hey lets
take a step back this is the first scenario Michael thinks of in which any sort
of physical force is used-- Spousal Beating (and phrased that way for some
reason) and its because the guy wants the lady to, "Shut Her 'Yap!'"
Let me be clear I don't endorse Spousal Beatings whether one of them won't
shut their yap or not! Cool. This bagel was a lot of fun
because I went into it like I'm not only gonna butter this bagel, I'm gonna
use an irresponsible amount of butter. Just know that going in.
And it was worth it! Kinda wanna do it again for Dinner!
Hmm what other Sci-Fi Franchises are SummerWorthy.
Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, DC Super Heroes... I'll keep myself
updated on this situation as it progresses. Also for some reason I was
imagining a Reverse Avengers: Infinity War into End Game where
SPOINLER ALERTS instead of almost all the non-original Avengers
disappearing, I thought it would be all the original Avengers disappearing.
Either way, Avengers is finally an accurate word for what this conflict
these characters are having is all about. LOL I PUT THE SPOILER IN BOLD.
I said spoiler alert AND THEN CALLED EXTRA ATTENTION TO IT! Finally
something that made myself laugh In Real Time! What fun. #StarWarsSummerToForget.
I dunno. I don't have a lot of Dinner Options so
another bagel is a legitimate thing to consider. I could have some sort of
turkey sandwich with some sort of gross soup. It ain't fancy but it'll get
the job done. That's been the go-to bland meal. Turkey sandwich with
gross soup! Wonderful. Hey if we get 7+11 (18) delivered I can get
seven beef jerkies and have a nice classy Steak Dinner. I can do lots of
things! While looking through Desk for Cigarettes, I came across this bag
of pebbles I picked up off the ground at some point years and years ago which I
figured well this might be marijuana based or something. Seeds,
maybe! But I tried smokin' em way back when and they're unsmokable.
It's not an herb! You can try smoking pebbles all you want and you ain't
Fascinating. Still have been holding on to them JUST
IN CASE, though, apparently. Cool! Also sorry to say this but
Thanos isn't such a bad guy. He's motivated by altruism. His actions
are evil and destructive but as far as I can tell he thinks he's doing the right
thing and maybe he is I dunno I'm not one to judge. That's for the Judge
Avenger. Captain Justi... oh crap its me and I AM SPECIFICALLY The
one To Judge! Didn't see that plot twist coming at all!
Alright I judge him to be guilty life imprisonment without possibility of parole
THEMS THE BREAKS WHEN YOU TRY TO KILL HALF OF EVERYBODY.
Brothers. Is That a Thing.
I was thinking about
and is there a non-100% chance that Trump has had it confirmed he already had
Coronavirus and that's why He's A Big Man And Not Wearing A Mask? Also is
there a non-100% chance that people who don't wear masks are the dumbest group
of idiots who ever were un-smart all over the stupid place? It's pretty
sociopath, too! I'd like to think they're just dumb but the truth is
they're assholes to a greater extent BUT NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE THAT DISCUSSION.
I mean, you wanna define Deplorables? It's a 1:1 overlap between
Trump inspires deplorables and people who won't wear masks.
Something along those lines. Right? Cool. We need to
transition from pitying their stupidity to going on the offense and fighting
their jerkitude. Which is also the correct way to approach Considering Me:
The Guy Whose Me, I get it, that's fine!
What else is a thing. Not Parkour Brothes. But I
am pretty impressed Microsoft FrontPage knew Parkour was a thing. Kinda
just assumed They Made That Up In 2005 Or Something. Also that would be a
fun video game. A parkour game, sorta in the style of those Tony Hawk
Skateboard games. Were you get 2 minutes in an environment and have to do
as much cool tricks to gain the most points as possible. But instead of On
A SkateBoard its Just Parkour. Sounds like a fun game to me lets get on
board with it but Not ON BOARD if you catch my meaning no skateboard involved
its just you jumping up against walls and then landing on the floor.
Also there needs to be obstacles. Not just an empty room I feel
very strongly about this.
What else is going on and crap. Also if you die in
the game YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE. There's gotta be some stakes to this
game, right? Oh, right. When Mom caves and demands 7x11 (77) get me
some Beef Jerkey to fashion into a steak. Anyway 2.5 more paragraphs to go
and then its on to Finishing Captain Marvel and probably watching .5 or 1.0 of
Avengers:End Game: No More Avengers After This One:The Rise of Captain America.
Also they call Captain America The First Avengers but Thor was around for
thousands of years before him! That's right Sounds Like A Plot Hole To
Me! Guy visiting the grand canyon LOOK AT THIS GIANT PLOT HOLE.
Which is accurate because how did they make it, what happened, how did this
canyon appear. Does anyone know how this happened?--Trump's thoughts while
confronted with the majesty of the grand canyon.
That's a Trump I Wanna See. His level of intelligence,
but with a childlike inquisitiveness and innocent-ish naivety that he possesses
none of. Such is life I guess. Only 2 more paragraphs to go!
I don't wanna see That Trump. It would complicate my negative feelings
about him and who he is and what he does and how he acts and where he thinks and
whom he... Anyway what else is going on and crap. Instead, in
real life, if you asked Trump his thoughts on the grand canyon, he would say,
Well it truly is grand, they say that, they came up with that name, I mean, you
say Oh Its Grand, and isn't it, well, I've seen grander, but someone, they
actually thought to use that word which was very, it's in America, and it's a
good thing we have it...
More or less. Wait a second That's More An
Accurate Approximation Than I Am Comfortable With. The good news is #MarvelSummerToRemember
may be gone by tomorrow, but it segues cleanly into the #StarWarsSummerToForget!
Which will eventually turn into another hashtag to continue our Crappy Summer
Together, we'll see. Also there was a WCW wrestler called Kanyon
and his gimmick, as far as I remember, was having a beard. His finishing
move was something about how he grabs you by the legs and pulls you under him or
something. I don't have all the details! Ugh. Yup.
WCW Wrestler Kanyon. Does appear to have a beard. Yup this
all checks out 100%! I'll see you guys later.
July 1, 2020
I'm starting to get
the sense that these #MarvelSummerToRemember movies aren't that memorable.
Pretty adequate, all things considered. Just like that PPV match
between Mankind & The Rock which was called an, "I Quit!' Match" for some reason
and not just a standard Match To End With Submission.
Exact same rules, but instead of, "Tapping out," the guy whose about to lose has
to say the words I Quit! And The Rock cheated by using audio of
Mankind saying the words I Quit! at a previous event (presumably in the
context of like THE ROCK IS GONNA HAVE TO SAY I QUIT AT THE END OF THE
MATCH!) and The Rock used is AV skills to splice that into the Arena
MainFrame and won the match. Oh, right. He Added I Quit.
I know you all know The Rock now but now you have some more context about
the character of this man. What kind of person does such a thing?!
He's never even offered atonement or regret. This is a big stain on him as
a person and I think we should Cancel him.
Oh, right. Marvel Summer To Remember movies are largely
adequate. And bordering on mediocre. I saw Black Panther and that
was an okay movie. Probably the only movie that's like Hey this is a
real movie and not just 3 action sequences that hurt my brain interspersed
between 100 minutes of bland, boring exposition. That's comics for ya!
The point is if I remember anything from #MarveLSummerToRemember its that these
films aren't that memorable. Save for Black Panther, Iron Man I and, lets
say, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. They weren't Avengers.
as far as you know! What else is going on and crap.
Anyway, for some reason I kinda imagined Wakanda being some sort of Liberia
situation. Where America kind of set up that country. Turns out I
Was WAY off. Also I never thought that. I just thought of
The Liberia Situation and I was like I'ma show off some knowledge here get a
loada this one.
Anyway Africa is great. I read all about South
Africa in Trevor Noah's Book: The Life And Times Of Trevor Noah and it seems
like a, "Chill," place. Sometimes. In some respects. The
PEOPLE seem, "Chill." Anyway remember when they released The
Untouchables in India and they're like I Was Expecting Something Very
Different! It's relevant because there are Indians in South Africa.
Right? That's what I've been led to believe. Remember when MC Hammer
was released in India and they were like I was Expecting Something VERY
Different! Remember when The Avengers were released in India and they
were like finally a team of super friends to protect us from dumb things
we're 100% behind the Avengers! Also they do vvery little
avenging. 10 years of Avengers and I would never describe their main verb-ing
as Avenging. Not even a secondary verb. Who or what are they
avenging? NO ONE THAT'S WHAT.
Oh, right. MANKIND SHOULD HAVE WON THAT MATCH.
Also it was the kind of match where they left the ring for most of it. I
kinda remember one scene of the match taking place in The Kitchen. I
might be thinking of Jurassic Park. Or... I wanna say there's a movie just
called The Kitchen? Wasn't that the Heist Movie with Melissa
McCarthy last year? Lemme look that up right quick. HEY IT WAS!
To be honest I was kind of banking on it not being that and it'd
be humrous cause I'd be like oh that crazy brain of mine! Turns out
it's Just An Accurate. Ugh. Hows the Generic Congress Poll
going. They released another one where Dems are up 49-40! Which is
also EXACTLY what they're estimating OVERALL. I don't believe it! I
take that to mean every single poll in the past is wiped clean and now we're
just at that one 49-40 poll! Fascinating. Also are we on
board with India having Untouchables? I mean in theory we don't wanna get
involved in other people's cultures with our own specific values, but also
they treat these people like shit. That's MY impression. Also
I have NO toughts on this I just thought it was a Liberia Situation where
I can impress with my knowledge of the world! Also why I made the
MC Hammer joke. Sure I know titles to raps!
What else is going on. July. I've got a
good feeling about this July. A good feeling it'll be CRAPPY. Gottem!
I'm still only 1/3rd into The Life And Times of George Carlin. And about
1/2 through The Life And Times of Martin Short. Luckily I'm almost 1/3rds
into The Current Life And Times Of Me For Today Specifically. Not that
entertaining so far. But sometimes that's just what the doctor
ordered. Bland repetitive dumb nonsense bullshit. Do
non-ever-wrestling fans know who Mankind/Mick Foley is? He had some cross
over success in late 90's, early 2000's as a writer of his Life and Loves and
Well Mostly Just His Life. And he's a good father and husband presumably
so His Loves as Well. Also he loves wrestling. So that too.
Also he love getting chokeslammed, I hope so at least, it happened to him many
times over the years.
Anyway, Mankind, he's the guy who's finishing move was he
wore a sock on his hand and then put his hand in someone's mouth, presumably
pinching them somewhere? and then eventually the guy taps out. You know
that ol' classic Wrestling Move dating back to the Greeks and Romans.
Gotta assume Greeks invented wrestling, right? Well, you don't have
to. I'd strongly recommend it, though! Maybe that's why homeless
people's #1 request is Socks. They wanna protect themselves.
Kinda an Aggressive move to make, The Mandible Claw. The best defense
is a good offense. You go around sticking your hand in people's mouths,
you're gonna get a rep, and no one's gonna mess with you!
Something along those lines. That would be a legit fun
thing to do, cross over WWE with Marvel. I'd fund such an excursion but I
only have dozens of dollars but hey maybe that's all ya need to get the ball
rolling. #MarvelSummerSlamToRemember. Also SummerSlam is the 2nd
biggest WWE event of the year. 1st in Wrestlemania. 2nd is
SummerSlam. I dunno if they ever explicitly put that message out there
but I sort of got the sense that was the case. Also this is all
specifically based on the years 1999-2001. I can't speak beyond those
years with any degree of certainty! What else is going on and crap.
Oh, right. Time to take a break! I'll be back! Sure all of
this is stuff that I've said half a dozen times before. Gotta Give The
People What They Want especially when that overlaps with What They're Used To!
If I learned anything from #MarvelSummerToRemember, its that!
I've been under the
impression I've been wearing Pajamas 1/2 the time over the last 3.5 months but I
was having an Academic Conversation with my Mom last night and she was like
ah you're wearing your Lounge Clothes. And I as like nope pretty
sure these are pajamas. And she was like that's what I said LOUNGE
CLOTHES. Also my Pajama Bottoms and/or Lounge Clothes Bottoms have a
huge hole in them! And not 1 of the 2 holes intended for feet, or one big
hole intended for waist! We're talkin' a big rip! Presumably torn
because of my giant penis. It's 3 feet long and VERY Pointy!
Well that's great. Oh, right. The point is
she became aware of the hole a few weeks ago (Through Vision Powers) and she was
like well no more of those gotta throw em out. Which I'm not on
board with they're comfortable and who cares the hole is only there if you're
looking for it. So I was like hmm better wear clothes for a week or
two, let this whole situation cool over. And then apparently she
forgot because now she's back on board with my Lounge Garments. Anyway
made some Spaghetti w/ Meatballs last night for dinner. Still have some
left over for lunch Soon. I like those odds! 3.5 #MarvelSummerToRemember
movies left. 1.5 Avengers, 1 Antman, and 1 Captain Marvel. How
many captains does one franchise need c'mon let's talk about it. Also
good idea for a Comic-- The Untouchables, and its about the actual
Indian/Hindu Untouchables Gruop but now they're Super Strong and Powerful and
will they aid those Hindu people who made their lives Hell I DUNNO THAT'S FOR
THE UNTOUCHABLES TO DECIDE!
I could be wrong, but I feel like there's 1 aspect to
Comic Books/Movies where its like lets treat this seriously, look at
characters, there's meaning and whatnot, and then there's the other aspect
where its like Ok we set this one Super Hero with this set of skills against
the other one Who Would Win In That Scenario Lets Just Decide That Battle Stuff.
So one is Character Based, the other one is Fight Logistics based. And
they are both Plot based but with different priorities for Plot. And,
anyway, I feel like these Marvel Movies are more the 2nd one. Whereas I
like the movies that are more like the 1st one! Because I RELATE to Super
Heroes and I don't wanna see OH BOY THOR'S HAMMER VS CAPTAIN AMERICA'S SHIELD
THIS IS THE FOUR SECOND HIGHLIGHT OF THIS 300 MILLION MONSTROSITY!
I feel very strongly about this! What kind of
#???SummerToRemember will there be a few days from now. Damnit I just
realized what its supposed to be and I Don't Wanna Do It! But I guess, I
have to.... Star Wars. Whatta snooze. #StarWarsSummerToRemember,
well, sure, I guess I'm pot committed To DisneyPlus Franchises at this point.
I dunno I'm gonna have to think about that one. Anyway how are the
Corona Virus Polls going. Are people voting for it to end soon or for it
to go on for years. I dunno as of now I'm undecided. I'd
probably set the Over/Under for All-Out Quarantining, For Me In Queens NY And
With Elderly/At Risk HouseMates, at New Years. 50% chance I'm taking walks
and getting deliveries and maybe even seeing doctor appointments before then,
49.75% after then. 0.25% chance ON HAPPY NEW YEARS itself!
Sounds like a fun logical way to do things.
I honestly couldn't tell you whether I'd take the Over or the
Under. I'd probably take the Under just to double down on I Wanna Root For
This To Happen. That makes a lotta sense. Anyway, what else is going
on. Talked about I Quit Matches, talked about my Pointy Penis,
talked about presumptive #StarWarsSummerToRemember ... I kinda like that now
that I think about it. Actually watching Star Wars, I dunno, its kinda
growing on me. But also just committing to #StarWarsSummerToRemember
as a Thing, I like it! Trying to think of other Franchises to do, the
first thing that came to mind was #SpikeLeeJointsToRemember. I
understand Spike Lee Joints don't exist in the same world as far as I know.
But I figure an artists ouvre can still be the basis of a #SummerToRemember.
If only I cuold easily see all Spike Lee Joints. If I could easily
Just See Any Movie I Want Ever, then I could do Director's Joints all the time.
Life isn't that easy, though.
Oh well such is life. I was thinking about it
recently and I wonder if Spike Lee just used to roll joints and was like to his
friends This is a Spike Lee joint and they were like dude you gotta
use that as the Frame Title Card before your movies and he was like yeah
I know I was thinking the same thing! and then they clink their beer bottles
and take a swig. Wait they were smoking weed not drinking beer.
Maybe they were doing both, I dunno. Sometimes I think about The Future
where you can just get packs of marijuana cigarettes the same way you get packs
of tobacco cigarettes and people just chain smoke Healthy Safe Marijuana All
Day. Seems like one way to go, right? Anyway, I'll be back.
I had some sort of 1/2 Nightmare/1/2 Cool Dream with Me & Weird Al Yankovic last
night. Don't remembe the specifics. But I remember Weird Al, I
remember parts of it being scary, but also parts of it were like I Don't
Remember WHY But This Is PRETTY COOL! Weird Al Yankovid-19.
That settles that! Anyway. For some reason I'm not 100% sure of, the
first Spike Lee Joint I remember seeing was Bamboozled. Both in
terms of I Think It's The First One I've Seen Overall and also The First One I
Saw Several Times, Enough To Really Absorb. Anyway that's a pretty dark
film. It's a comedy! But kinda dark for a 10 year old or whatever I
saw. Was released in 2000. That means by the time I saw it
I had to be AT LEAST 12. Well, great, just great. Having
lunch now. You know how that goes.
Cool! #StarWarsSummerToRemember, presumably the way
to watch it is in Within-Story-Chronological-Order and not
When-Films-Were-Released-Chronological-Order, right? I figure if I did a,
"Poll," the Within-Story-Order would come out with like 67%! And why
bother doing polls when I can just Use My Imagination to Imagine Some Sort Of
Result. Makes the polls kind of unnecessary and redundant when I can just
Guess Myself! Maybe the reason I saw Bamboozled was because I was familiar
with Damon Wayans, so Damon Wayans + Comedy, I and/or my Guardians thought it
would be different! Anyway, #StarWarsSummerToRemember has gotta be a
snooze because all the characters that exist for the first 2/3rds of it I know
Are Gonna Die Eventually. Why bother getting invested in 90% of these
people when I know They Inevitably Die? Makes the whole thing moot.
Redudant! Unncessary, even!
Cool. Now that I've seen a bit about what Captain Black
Panther is about, I'm on board with him maybe killing Thanos. Sends a
positive, pro-Wakandan message! Also is it possible there is a
Wakanda and they're REALLY just hiding in plain sight even with
these huge movies about it? It'd be the perfect scam! Why is
it a scam. Ya know because they're not sharing the Vibranium or
whatever. Dunno what they'd gain from there being billion dollar movies
about them, though. Seems like needless risk to their sovereignty and
anonymity. I'm not gonna argue though, they've got the Vibraninum, they
must know what they're doing! At first I thought I wouldn't be on
board with the premise of a King/SuperHero, but Black Panther makes it work!
What's his real name. Some sort of name I'm not used to. There's at
least one, "'," in the middle somewhere. Hmm LMLTURQSIDF, T'CHalla.
Well that's easy to remember. T Holla Back. T Challah Bread.
Those two ways.
SIDF SO I DON'T FORGET. Addendum to the
classic LMLTURQ that we've all grown to love. Hey you know who my
favorite Black Panther is Of All Time is T'Challa. Only one I know but I
wanted to show off my knowledge! Wait a second, I'm confused.
Spike lee. Stan Lee... Hmm. I wasn't as confused as I thought.
Those two people in fact co-exist, alive and/or dead, and are Potential
meta-collaborators for cr*zysheet's #***SummerToRemember. Jason Lee.
Haven't heard from him in a long time. Maybe not since His Name Was Earl.
Anyway roughly one paragraph to go, I can get on board with that!
Wonderful. Earl Lee. Early. Was that
ever an inside-joke on NBC in the mid to late 2000's? My guess is I
don't believe there were Inside OR Outside Jokes in regards to My Name Is
Earl. Gottem! Anyway, entry closin' up, whatta world.
Did Spike Lee ever Direct a SummerSlam? My guess is no that's
nonsense of course not. But then again, might be a good idea.
Some good cross-over potential for their brands and audiences and creative input
and output. I'd watch a Spike Lee SummerSlam Joint! Ugh. I
dunno. I'll see you guys later.