Thursday, January 30, 2020

Down With Titles!  Up With Entries!
   
    I think I had that title before, either exactly or expressing the same sentiment.  Oh well, that's why Down With Titles.  Because they're ripe for repetition!  Anyway checked my weight today for first time in a couple months.  I'm 10 pounds overweight!  Alright!  That ain't too bad.  I don't have an eating disorder-- I have an eating Non-Dis-ordered!  Eating without thinking wily nily as you please, that's disordered.  Not ordered in the least!  Now, if you're taking meticulous track of what you're eating? That's ordered!  I have an Eating Order is the point and now that we figured out this mis-expression (which should also be a word!) it turns out I'm the healthy one!
    Anyway.  House got a new Coffee Machine a week or two ago.  A new Water Pitcher.  We're really taking things to the next level.  Hmm water pitcher.  Some sort of variant of baseball where you use a water ball.  It's like Water Beds but for baseball.  Seems like it would pop on contact with the bat.  Yeah but that's fun!  Forget the rules of baseball, I just wanna play around hitting water balloons with bats and watching them explode!  Alright gotta get together 51 other people to form teams, whose with me?!  Anyway, what else is going on.  Gonna start seeing a new psychiatrist in a month.  A younger-middle-aged Asian Lady!  I like those specifications I could dig that.
    Hey what else is going on.  It'll be nice to see if it turns out that presidents can do whatever they want on the basis it helps them get re-elected.  Hopefully we figure this out soon because I wanna know if I should bother supporting a Democratic candidate for president, because it may turn out elections are redundant because the president is president however long he feels like.  Keep me updated!  What else is going on and crap.  I don't like to get political because there's people on both sides.  One side kinda likes the sorta-Democracy we've had for 200+ years and the other wants a real straight-up authoritarian government where elections are only there to be rigged! I'm not here to say whose right and whose wrong!
    Also I know our Democracy has been pretty fucked up, too.  Women couldn't vote until 1920 or whatever.  Black people couldn't vote at all at first, then they faced restrictions and intimidations, then some of that went away, then now they faced restrictions and intimidations yet again... and so on.  Anyway what else is going on and crap.  In 2000 the presidency was straight up stolen because Supreme Court said No more counting votes!  The point is its always been bad but now its even several levels worse.  President can do what he wants because it helps him get re-elected.  Really?  OVER HALF of the Senators are on board with that?  Way to go. 
    Jeez.  Therapist was telling me to get a job.  Really?  I don't come down to where YOU WORK and tell you to get a job!  ...because apparently you already have one.  Carry On Then!  Haven't seen a movie in theaters in a while.  I don't come down to where YOU WORK and watch movies!  Huh.  1/2 of my walks include walking down Horace Harding Expressway and at least half of those walks include me thinking more like Horace Hardly.  Anyway.  One thing when judging these Democratic Candidates that's my main thing is I Don't Like It When They Lie.  That's why I didn't like that Warren/Sanders spat a couple of weeks ago.  One of them is lying!  I don't konw who!  And if it was just a misunderstanding yeah tell us that maybe.  And if it wasn't yeah maybe just tell us it was anyway seems like the right way to go. 
    Been reading about how Joe Biden repeatedly makes up stories about participating in Civil Rights Era Civilly Righting things-- turns out it's total bullshit that he's been called on time and time again and then continues to do it.  I get the politicians normally aren't great people and will lie but I'd still prefer they didn't!  Anyway, none of it matters if, "President," can do whatever he wants to get re-elected.  And, at that point, we should probably stop using the term, "President," because that's not what a presidency is.  Let's go to the phones about what you think our new term for Leader should be.  "Leader?"  Maybe.  I'm open to whatever The Phones think is the best title.
    Jeez.  Seventh paragraph.  Also, yeah, I'd still support Warren/Sanders vs any other Democratic Candidate, even if they lied in this situation.  It's called weighing multiple things at once!  And I'd support Biden over Trump.  Biden still makes a habit of telling true things more often than lie things. Over 50% true!  Anyway.  One thing that I like about Biden is when confronted with someone challenging his record or his position on something he goes WELL VOTE FOR SOMEONE ELSE THEN!  Biden 2020 Vote For Someone Else Then.  Pretty good way of bringing people in. It just shows he has no interest in uniting the party and bringing together the different factions.  He's gonna do what he's gonna do cause fuck you I'ma Do Me.  Biden 2020-- Don't Look At My Record Of Being Way To The Right Of The Average Democrat And If You Do Fuck You I'm Gonna Rely On People Who Don't Know My Consistently Conservative Record To Win!
    My favorite Biden Record is The White Album.  I like the Album Title, "Revolver."  That sure is what a record player is!  Or is it more accurately a Rotator.  I dunno.  I think it's pretty impressive that Stars In The Sky are pretty uniform no matter where you are on Earth or how far around the sun we are or anything.  Them stars remain consistent is my interpretation!  Way to go!  Anyway, I dunno.  Not a fun entry.  But its not a fun time we're living in!  I'm kinda spoiled because I grew up in the first decade of my life in the 1990's-- otherwise known as The Fun Era.  People were renting VHSes and buying PC Games and going to chat rooms!  Whatta time to be alive.  Oh well nothing good lasts forever.  Well, Nothing lasts forever.  Good point, me.
    9th paragraph, figure I'll go for an even 10.  I was thinking about it, how people lament the fact that we're so divided and there's not on common narrative of current events we're all invested in... I blame Netflix!  Used to be we all watched THE EXACT SOME TV SHOWS as everyone else!  Then cable.  Then premium channels.  Now all these online channels and youtube anything whenever you want... we ain't watching the same things at the same times, that's why we're all divided.  Government should limit us to maybe a dozen channels and then we'd all be friends.  Except for how Government is restricting our content to 12 pre-approved channels?  I'M NOT ON BOARD WITH THAT.
    Well, I'm not!  Not a good solution at all!   What else is going on and crap.  Last paragraph.  Also, there's a lot of good reasons why we live in different realities.  That is just one of, lets say, 30 really good reasons.  But I thought of this one myself!  Please give me credit for Getting Things!  Also, when I imply we shouldn't be so divided, let me be clear-- I don't want to find a middle ground with the other half.  I want them to come around to my side!  DUH.  I dunno.  I'm really not that radical!  I'm on the left side of the left but you know what?  If you're a principled Republican who tells the truth and doesn't feed anger or hate?  I can tolerate you being part of the national discourse!  Totally valid to have a, "Me First!" approach to government and economics and society.  Just don't enable monster con-men like Trump or worse actively participate in monster con-men type behavior!  And if you don't think you can get elected without pandering to the lowest common denominator and lying and breaking the rules?  Maybe you shouldn't be elected!  Sorry!  That's how Democracy works as long as Democracy is working.  You like Democracy, don't you?  ...?
    Just finished my Chipotle Lunch.  The last half dozen times I got Chipotle I really wanted Halal Cart Food but I don't know exactly how many calories that's gonna be so best to just stick with What I Know.  What else is going on.  Gotta be honest, really getting into the Coca Cola.  So much so next week might get Coca Cola over Pepsi even if there is Pepsi.  Anyway, somethin' about Coronavirus?  Some sort of Pun about Corona: The Beer?  Well that's done.  Maybe I'm stupid but every year or 2 there's a new super virus that we need to be careful to nip in the bud and I'm always like yeah this doesn't scare me.  Maybe it should, I don't know The Science, but meh I'll probably be okay.
    Haven't drank alcohol in 4 weeks + 2 days.  You do the math.  Hmm sounds like about 30 days.  Another good amount of days to consider a month. After 31 days, its the next most common amount of days months have.  Fascinating.  Sometimes I think about months and if its 31 days, even though that's the most common, I often think yeah 31 days that's too much.  I think its because, like I talked about last entry, I tend to think of a month as 28 days.  Suddenly we're saying  3131 days is the standard?  We just skipped over 29 and 30?  Surely there's some middle ground to be found.
    What the Hell is going on.  Lately I've been having the thought every couple of days Fuuuuck I'm 31.  And I'm jobless living with my parents and also no social life or anything.  Oh well I'll figure something out eventually.  I got a lot of years until I'm 40!  Then it's time to really be like ok ook time to figure this one out.  Got another 9 years to get there.  There was this character in Dickens' Bleak House where he's an adult who behaves like a child, and I realize that's me.  Oh well, I'll figure this one out in about 9 years!  Anyway.  I just had a good idea.  Patreon but for a News Organization.  They can do like investigatory journalism and crap!  Really figure this one out.  I gotta stop saying, "Figure This One Out," I have no idea why I think repeating it is amusing to anyone.
    14th paragraph.  If my BMI Range says my ideal weight is between 110 and 137, and I weigh 147, that means I'm 10 pounds overweight, right?  Or do I say the ideal weight is 110+137/2, and then 10 pounds overweight is 10 more than that.  That can't be it, because 10 pounds more than The Middle is still in ideal BMI range.  Not overweight at all!  The good news is who cares I'm healthy enough lets figure this one out.  2 months will be a year without a cigarette.  2 days will be A Month without a drink.  Figure I'll let myself drink once a week or so given current Life Conditions of living at home with no friends.  Once a week drinkin' for such circumstances seems ok, I dunno.
    Not healthy to drink in the morning or early afternoon, though.  And I'm asleep by 9:30, 10:00 P.M.  So when, that's one of the key questions.  I'll figure this one out at some point.  Hey it's the 15th paragraph!  Wonderbar.  Why did I think Wonderbar was a word.  I imagined it as a German word or something for wonderful.  Hmm better google Wonderful translated into German... Wunderbar.  WOW I Really Figured That One Out!  I find it weird that there's candy bar for women.  I remember once getting a Luna Bar a long time ago because I was like hmm seems like a good candy bar I like the word Luna which means MOON IN SPANISH imo.  Now it turns out oh its like a Health Bar specifically for women.  Not to be confused with a Health Bar which is a candy bar that I'm gonna go out on a limb and say probably isn't very healthy.
    Part of me is realizing listening to podcasts all the time can't be healthy but the other part of me is walking 2.5-3 hours a day.  What am I supposed to do, Walk Listening To Nothing?  I Listen To Nothing already all the time when I'm not walking!  Anyway, feel comfortable ending the entry after this paragraph.  I got walking to do!  Btw, "Walking To Do," is a good song by, "Ted Leo & The Pharmacists!"  It's the last track on that album and it's my firm belief the last tracks on albums are the best.  If I ever make a real album of music all the tracks will be the last track.
    That's not really a joke.  Back when I was writing a bunch of songs (not to be confused with times I was improvising a bunch of songs and just puttin' em out there) I would of course spend a bunch of time making potential track listening of the songs I had and then adjusting them with I started new songs... and the point is, 50% of them I would go through the process of writin them imagining they'd be the last track on the album!  Because that's the best track I feel very strongly about this.  What else.  I was thinking recently about how for different bands I'm into, some of them I learned the songs album by album, in the right order for each album, and other ones I just had a blob of their songs on Mp3 player and whatnot.  Led Zeppelin, AC/DC were the two main bands which I knew dozens of songs but they were all listened to at random.  Most other bands were the other way.
    Tenacious D was another Random Band.  But that's pretty much required because half the songs were just clips from the TV show.  Not on an album at all!  I dunno.  What track are we at right now and is it enough to force myself to get to 20 paragraphs.  18th paragraph.  I don't gotta do nothing I don't wanna do.  Not to be confused with Trump's legal footing which is I Getta Do Everything I Do Wanna Do.  Anyway, what else is going on.  2 more paragraphs.  Then it's time for walk 4 of 5 today!  Probably listening to a podcasts while its going on!
    Sweet.  Bob Marley, I had about 8 or 10 songs on my mp3 player without it being in album form.  I feel like I said this before, but doesn't the name Bob Marley sounds like some white guy who works at Target or something.  Removing everything you know about Bob Marley, can't you just imagine a middle aged white guy going Hey I'm Bob Marley.  Seems like a good insight-em-up, right?  Hey I'm Mob Barley.  Huh.  One more paragraph to go.  Works at, "Target?"  Why Target?  I'm not even 100% sure what a Target is!  Some sort of store that sells a bunch of stuff, I know that, but I dunno what kinda stuff.  Electronics?  Furniture?  Groceries?!?  I'M NOT CONNECTED TO THE REAL AMERICA.  The TARGET AMERICA.  Give me a break, okay?  I'm still living in a world where there's CompUSAs and Toys 'R Us's and Barnes & Nobleses.
    Wunderbar.  Hmm apparently there's no such thing as a brand called HEALTH BAR.  There's a HEATH BAR.  Without the L.  Well its close enough that they know what message they're putting out there!  Wonderbar.  Another good name for a candy bar.  Wonder Bar.  Gotta exist out there already, right?  Was listening to a recording I made a year ago with several guitar parts but no vocals and I was like hey that sounds okay actually maybe I can record some vocals then I'm Back In The Swing Of Things hey now that I think about it I'll title the song Back In The Swing Of Things Wait No That's No Good That Doesn't Fit As A Title To The Last Track On An Album.  So I got that going for me!  I'll see ya later.

-3:08 P.M. 
     
   

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Guess Who Wrote This Title All By His Lonesome!?
   
    Yes it was me.  Good guess!  Anyway, Time to do something!  What's going on in the wide world of wide worlds.  I'm a Wide-Worlder.  I believe the world is a whole lot wider than, "Scientists," would have us believe!  Wider hardcore!  Anyway WIDE news I got Coca Cola instead of Pepsi Cola because there was no Pepsi Cola.  I normally stay away from Coca Cola.  A little too strong for my tastes.  Pepsi Cola, that's got that light cola taste I love-- Coca Cola?  Too syrupy!  Too strong!  Actually kinda digging this Coca Cola.  As a Once In A While thing, it's not so bad.  Pepsi is kinda bad now that I think about it.  This paragraph is brought to you by Mountain Dew.
    Just spend ad money negging two competitors as if they're going after each other.  Then watch Mountain Dew reap all the benefits!  First time I've used the word Negging.  Double Negging makes a Positiving.  I learnt about it from some sort of mathematics lesson, I dunno.  You can't say, "Negging," that's OUR word.  I mean, huh, what?  Sorry.  I apologize I guess.  The good news is Hey Went To SuperMarket this morning.  I know Mountain Dew is a go-to reference as a unappealing soft drink, but have you tasted Mountain Dew?  It's pretty good!  This sentence is brought to you by Mountain Dew.
    Jeez I need to stop whoring out every paragraph to Big Dew.  I think I heard somewhere they bought the slogan Do The Dew from a going-out-of-business Potty Training... thing.  Conundrum.  Business Model.  Guide.  Something to do with potty training!  Telling kids to Do The Doo.  According to Movies its a thing where toddlers are scared of toilets.  I don't get this.  I don't remember 100% for myself but seems kinda Wrong to me.  Sometimes I have this sense memory of when I was 1 year old in a crib or something, it may very well be a false memory but it feels like its real, and its accompanied by the thought I am EXACTLY the same as I was when I was 1.  Exact same thought process, except now I have more words and experiences at my disposal.  But essentially I'm still 1 years old in my crib going well this is fuckin' weird.  And stupid.  And kinda boring, too!  Can't wait to learn some new words and form new experiences potentially... at the very least graduate to a life Being In A Place Not Behind Bars.
    Anyway, what else is going on.  I know Negging is a great way to get someone to be sexually attracted to you, but its also a pretty good way to raise your kids!  I learnt that mostly from all my Asian American peers in school.  Way to go parents who withhold love!  I can assure ya its gonna pay off in the long run!  Your kids will grow to be well educated and employed parents who'll then Neg Their Kids!  And the circle of life becomes complete.  Circles are always complete.  That's why they're circles.  Huh?  Like I said, Double Negging is Positiving.  So a perfect circle of Negging is sorta Positive?  Circles never end.  I dunno.  Save Me Some Sort Of Mathematics Lesson!  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.
    I felt bad about not caring too much about Kobe Bryant because I am neither that interested in Basketball and also I Am Not From That Place He Played For.  Then I reasoned, well, this would be like For Me if Derek Jeter died.  And then I was like well I never really liked Derek Jeter.  I don't WANT him to die, but the main way I'd feel bad if he died was I Feel Bad I Don't Feel Worse That He Died he's kind of an antagonist to a Mets fan.  Still-- it's my belief and wish that People Shouldn't Die!  And you can take that to the bank!  Well hearing Kobe Bryant's daughter died too did truly make me feel bad.  See-- I'm not a monster or anything!  I knew it!
    Anyway, tonight is a full 4 weeks since Last Drink.  And I choose to measure 1 Month as exactly 4 weeks.  Not just in this scenario, but most of the time overall in life.  I mean, if I'm saying I'ma do this for a month, I'm gonna use 4 weeks.  Not 30 days.  That's stupid.  But also, if it's February 4th, and I'm talking about January 4th, I feel comfortable going the other way and saying ah its been exactly a month.  Gotta define months different ways depending on the situation that's my theory.  One of my favorite Song Titles I've written is I've Been Here For Weeks and one of my favorite interpretations is Hmm Four Weeks.. sounds like I've Been Here For One Month.
    Seventh paragraph.  Figure I'll start lunch in about 15 minutes.  Write this entry to around 10-15 paragraphs.  Wonderful.  Finally watched Watchmen.  True Story.  Not Watchmen, that's fictional.  It's a true story that I watched the fictional TV show Watchmen.  I dunno why you'd doubt me, its pretty plausible I think.  My favorite character in the show is the ones who aren't in the show but are from the original comic/the movie that I can remember but don't show up at all or only barely in this show.  Hmm I wonder what THE COMEDIAN is up to.  I wonder what RORSCHACH would think of this.  A THIRD CHARACTER that I can't recall.
    They reference The Comedian and Rorschach.  They refer to The Comedian as a rapist and Rorschach as inspiring White Supremecasts.  Hmm maybe I Don't Wanna know more about these characters.  Good names, though!  I like comedy and psychology tests!  Anyway, what else is going on.  Hah.  White SUPREMECASTS.  That's the White Supremacy Podcast.  I feel like I made that spelling mistake/pun/joke here a while ago.  Oh well, you don't mess with success!  Someone should give Rorschach (Real life version) a Rorschach test about why he feels compelled to put his name on everything.  What's this Dr. Rorschach who invented the test presumably really up to.  Yup.  Hermann Rorschach.  Also presumably a White Supremecast.  You heard it here first!
    What do you see here.  A BLACK STAIN ON PURE, WHITE PAPER!  Makes sense to me.  Look, I'm paying you for your time, psychiatrist!  I'm not gonna waste time with what I see!  I already know that!  Why don't you tell me what you see!  I'm paying good money here!  That's how psychiatry should world in an ideal Wide World.  Anyway my Dad was telling me about how if some new Trump Rules go into effect or something it might significantly effect the amount Social Security and/or Medicare will pay for my Doctor's visits and stuff, and in the process of My Dad saying that, I learned that technically the person I've been referring to as my Therapist is actually my Social Worker.  Social Worker?  Ain't that for people from broken homes?  You know, places where there were Earthquakes?  Are you trying to tell me I'm the comedian Earthquake?  Cause if not I'm Confused!
    Alright gonna take a Walking Break, then come back, write Part II of entry and eat me some lunch! Be back in some sort of measurement of time Save Me Some Sort Of Mathematics Lesson!

-1:43 P.M.

Yeah It's A Title So What
   
    I had one save-em-up over the last week, which is that The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are really well adjusted for their age.  Then I realized wait no they're not.  What I meant originally was they ain't moody or awkward or anything... just some good fun lovin' dudes but not in an obnoxious way.  Then I was like are they teenage in human years or turtles years.  Then I waited several days, wrote this paragraph, googled how long do turtles live, saw it was 80 years and was like well about the same then, not a big point of contention.  Anyway.  Not a lot going for Donatello: The Ninja Turtle.  He's kind of just The Other One!  Which I'm sure a lot of kids identify with.  Hey he's just The Other One, like me!
    Leonardo is the leader.  Michelangelo is the Party Dude (they all like pizza, but boy oh boy does Michelangelo).  Rafael is Cool But Cruel (I guess he is kinda a moody teenager in retrospect).  Donatello is he wears the purple bandana.  I think he's good with technology, too.  I might be mixing up children's' shows.  Anyway.  Always kinda figured Michelangelo was the best because we're Michel Buddies.  "Donatello" isn't even recognized by FrontPage as a word.  I don't know who should be more insulted, the artist or the ninja turtle.  On the one hand, the artist is Real and Made Art, so he'd have more reason to be offended.  On the other hand, the Ninja Turtle Was Good With Technology and Is Still Alive.  Still Alive people are more likely to be offended than the Long Dead.  I'm not up on the recent Ninja Turtle Canon but I'm assuming they haven't killed off Donatello yet, although if they were gonna kill off a ninja turtle he'd be my guess.  Unless they wanna go Big and kill off Leonardo.  That'd be interesting.  I feel like there was an SNL sketch where they parodied Watchmen with Ninja Turtles.
    No!  I'm thinking of them parodying Joker with Sesame Street.  They can do Watchmen with Ninja Turtles, though.  Pretty much same premase but the jokes are somewhat different based on the different subject matters!  Something about Leonardo being a secret white Supreme Cast, I dunno.  You figure it out!  12th paragraph.  Seems like I'm gonna finish this paragraph at the least, right?  Anyway.  My Dad currently has a schedule where he's pretty much gone all day Monday & Wednesday, at least during the hours I'm awake, plus my Mom is often in bed all day, so my mind sort of gets a little time to get in the mode of I'm sorta living alone and not with my parents.  2 out of 7 days.  For this 6 or 8 week period or whatever.  Also if you're having a six or eight week period Probably No Bueno See A Doctor! 
    I honestly think my favorite part of getting chicken/veal parmesan is leaving over 90% of the cheese that went up on top that there chicken/veal.  I'm performing a Healthy, I may think.  Sure I ate a lot of pasta and presumably soft-fried chicken/veal, but cheese?  ONLY 10%!  Except for those times I do eat the cheese.  Like most times.  I dunno what else is going on and crap.  13th paragraph!  15 seems probable at this point.  Why am I the only person who didn't feel a deep connection to or affinity for Kobe Bryant.  I don't get it.  It seems like even people who aren't basketball fans or from LA are really bummed out by this news.  Makes me feel like a dick!  Sorry!  Plus, yeah, he seems like a good guy based on post-hummus analysis.  But that's what they'd say for anyone!  I dunno, I I do buy that he was a really good guy.  Sorry!
    I guess I've been desensitized by sports people dying in flying contraptions after Corey Lidle.  He was a Baseball Player who crashed into a building while I believe flying his own plane.  Which is an expression in honor of him.  Not to fly my own plane, but... and it means I'm about to crash into a residential apartment building, but...  For some reason I thought it happened on September the 11th: Not the main one but one of the other ones.  Turns out it was October 11.  Sounds like about A Month later.  Hey only one more paragraph then I'm done!  What else is going on and crap.
    Whatta do with the rest of my Next Ten Days.  Ugh that sounds like a whole lot of nothin'.  I think they need to expand toothpastes into new and exciting flavors.  No reason you can't have chocolate tooth paste.  I remember when I was wearing braces they had some sort of drill or something and you could choose flavors!  One being chocolate!  Get me some chocolate toothpaste!  I guess they don't want toothpaste to taste too good.  Then you're gonna start eating nothing but toothpaste especially if it has no calories as it would in this scenario because toothpaste can't have calories c'mon whatchu talkin' bout.  Anyway, hey, entry is over!  See ya later.

-2:59 P.M.

Saturday, January 18, 2020

JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR WRITING A PERFECT TITLE
   
    Yeah.  I was putting some thought into it and I think repeating the phrase Perfect Phone Call is a pretty big Freudian Slip.  Ya'll know the phrase The Perfect Crime, as in something like Ah I'm gonna get away with this crime! that's what makes it the PERFECT crime!  So he's just, probably subconsciously, mixing up the word perfect with the word crime.  What he's really saying in that tweet is JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A CRIME PHONE CALL!  Yep.  No argument there!  That's exactly what happened!  Glad we're all on the same page.  Thought of that last night, felt responsible for getting it out into the world as soon as possible, so now I have at least 4 more paragraphs to go.  Oh well you win some you lose some.
    Finished Conan o Brian Podcast up to now.  Now dippin' into some deeper cuts of podcasrs from not quite as famous comedians but somehow more entertaining because they're less far removed from being a Real Person.  Conan is a real person.  You could make that argument I guess.  Anyway, Season 2 of his podcast lost some of the Real-Person quality the first season had.  I really bought into his premise in the first season that I wanna be real friends with these celebrity-guests and have a deeply honest conversation with them I have as guests.  (The podcast name is Conan o Brian Needs a Friend)  The 2nd season is still good, but the manifestation of that title in season 2 is more like hey you know what Conan is actually really good friends with his 2 co-hosts.  So the twist happy ending is Conan o Brian had friends all along.  I assume that's the payoff that is gonna be driven home on the last episode of season 2.  So it's not WORSE, it's just a motivational sentimental Conan had friends All Along!  Makes me happy to see other people have friends.  I'd like to join that subset of people some day!  The subset of people who have friends.  Something along those lines.  Anyway.  I think the only reason I say Conan is Less Of A Real Person than Other Podcasters it they're closer to my age and thus I can relate to them more.  If I was 85 I might be able to relate to Conan more and he'd be the real person!
    What else is going on.  I'm really getting into Ginger Ale.  Got it as a substitute for Lemon Lime Soda this past week and it's paying off!  I like it.  Anyway, the last few days I've been relatively sick.  I'm 95% better now, but on Wednesday and Thursday I was out of it.  We're talkin' Fever.  We're talkin Cold.  We're Talking Headache.  I disagree with calling Nose Sickness a, "Cold."  I assume because going out in the cold might make it worse.  But that doesn't explain why you call it a Cold.  It doesnt make you cold.  It doesn't feel cold.  The only way Coldness relates is hey side note don't go out in the cold might make it worse.  I remember having fevers all the time in elementary school, and I think it was my mind willing my body to become ill, because I wanted to skip school as much as possible.  That's my best theory.  I also had a bunch of bloody noses.  Dunno about that one!
    Anyway.  Fourth paragraph.  Figure I'll have some sort of lunch after this paragraph.  We're talkin' Hot Pocket if that's available.  If not, maybe some other sort of Frozen Burrito.  I'm pretty sure I've got something along those lines available to me.  Pun calling Vaginas, "Hot Pockets."  Seems like that's some low hanging fruit, right?  I think the go-to flavor for Vaginas is Pepperoni Pizza.  That's just common sense I guess.  How about the girl with Croissant Pockets.  Nice Hot, Flaky Crust.  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.  Figure I'll put Food in Oven so I will not eat until 30-40 minutes from now, but get on that right away.
    Put Health Burrito into oven for 15-20 minutes.  Well, only put it in for 2 minutes at this point.  But it'll be there for roughly 15-20 minutes when all is said and done.  Maybe finish this paragraph and call it an Entry.  Seems like the thing to do for some reason.  I'm mostly healthy right now, the only remaining symptom is I have FeverAche localized at the top of my head.  It's not a headache.  Not your classical headache, at least.  It is an ache at the top of my head. but it's like a... you guys know what I mean by Fever Ache?  Like when you gotta fever and your body sort of feels achy...  I've repeated myself 5 times and either you get it or you don't.
    What else is going on.  Oh a sixth paragraph didn't see that one coming.  I tuned down my electric guitar to Standard D tuning an I wanna say to the world no reason you ever need to tune an electric guitar to standard D tuning.  And I don't have the will power to spend 120 seconds to re-tune it!  I got things to do!  Like not play the guitar anyway either way I Got Things To Do!  It'd be nice to get in a mode where I can write some new songs.  Can't, though!  Doesn't seem right, but oh well that's where we are in life.  I dunno maybe I will make it to 10 paragraphs all in one sitting!  Cool!
    What else is going on.  Sometimes I try doin' some doodling but I can't get past just drawing stick figures.  That's all my imagination can conjure up these days.  Stickmen.  The heads are circles, the rest of their bodies are just lines, though.  That's how I Do It these days.  Gotta wonder what kind of mindset that betrays.  No I don't!  You can't make me!  I'll wonder what I want thank you very much!  Figure I'll check out that Relatively Healthy Burrito when this paragraph is done.  Which will be soon!  Very Soon!  I ain't lying that's just the way things are for some reason!  Figure I'll take some sort of walk either after FOod is done or after 10 paragraphs is done.  I dunno.
    That burrito ain't ready.  Get Outta Here With That Bullshit.  Jeez.  Alright I'm gonna finish this after this paragraph unless I get on some sort of roll for some reason.  That'd be a good translation of a Latin Quote that some college uses to describe themselves. For Some Reason.  Could be interpreted several different ways All Of Which are Aces!  That's my opinion.  Man if I write 10 paragraphs I get the joy of going into the next paragraph KNOWING I'm writing a Penultimate Paragraph I can get behind such a thing.  Hah.  Crime Phone Call.  I made a Perfect Call, I'm hopefully going to get away with it, please let me get away with it, it was a perfect cr-- It was a Perfect Call...
    Wonderful.  Hey, what else is going on.  Another podcast I could get back into is The Best Show.  I still have a lasting influence from The Best Show where Tom Sharpling makes a really distinctive sigh often, usually right after a phone call is completed, I dunno if its natural or forced or just exaggerated or what but now for some reason I do it naturally.  Like an Huh/Ah/Ugh sound, and now I do it.  Thanks a lot now my life is ruined I don't wanna sigh distinctively which isn't actually distinctively since this other guy does it but it's distinctive to those who never heard him sigh that way and they're wondering hmm interesting sigh wonder if there's a story behind that.  So, yeah, something along those lines.
    BREAKING NEWS OUT OF LONDON, SOME ROYAL FAMILY PEOPLE WHO AREN'T EVEN THE KING OR QUEEN WANNA WITHDRAW FROM PUBLIC LIFE A BIT!!  Who gives a crap.  How does that affect a single soul, especially outside of Britain.  Look, they like their royal family, fine, that's cute.  But in what alternate universe does that make a difference to me?  It'd be weird if England has a King next.  Maybe I'm some kind of misogynist but King sounds too powerful for a purely ceremonial position.  Suddenly you got a King and you're like wait a second that doesn't sound right!  Anyway.  Just ate burrito.  And I am done with Entry!  Sweet.  I'll see ya'll later.

-3:13 P.M.

Monday, January 13, 2020

This Is A Thing I Guess
   
    Is it, though?  Nope!  That was my first intention of the title.  C'mon duh we both know this is Nothing.  But then I was like maybe its a kind of pretentious title.  We are all know experiencing a, "Happening!"  This website is the Thing To Do.  Anyway.  Pretty sure its inspired by TrumpTweets over the past half decade, but I'm noticing an interesting trend in Music Titles where they play with capitalization.  Either every letter is capitalized or every letter is lowercasedized or they just mix it up.  Why.  And how do we get out of this.  We have no choice but to continue titling our songs with or without letters capitalized.  Now its a permanent artistic decision for the rest of Titling Songs.  Talk about War Crimes.
    How come no one ever talks about Peace Crimes.  They do, it's just called, "Crimes."  Yeah?  Well, great!  Also, not is it now a permanent artistic decision, but its literally THE FIRST aartistic choice we become aware of half the time.  I guess half the time we hear a new song we click on it or read it off an album casing, so we see the title first, and the other half we hear the song first somehow someway and then see the title.  INTERESTING DISCUSSION I'LL THROW IT TO THE PANEL-- do you like to hear the song first or read the title first?  Write in your answers to mankindguy@gmail.com!  Hmm that time I gave me real e-mail address.  EMAIL THEM ANSWERS LETS START A, "TREND!"
    I started reading the George Carlin autobiography and the guy he wrote it with mentions George Carlin's AOL Screenname in the introduction he wrote.  Just imagining George Carlin using AOL in the late 90's while I was using AOL and he has a screenname... oh man that tickles me in all the right spots.  And, his screenname, you ask?  Sleetmanal.  Al Sleet apparenty being The Hippy Dippy Weatherman's name.  And, "Man," I assume being an homage to my AOL screenname, mankindguy.  Crazysleet.  You can call me Al.  ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER.
    Wait a second... I didn't write YoU cAn CaLl Me Al!  The most common form of using having fun with capitalization is just all caps or all noncaps.  You can do the alternating caps but that just looks LAME.  I dunno, what else is going on.  1/13.  That means in 6 or 8 hours 13 days without a drink!  That's as long as it takes to Solve The Cuban Missile Crisis!  Shouldn't it be called The RUSSIAN Missile Crisis?  Had they ever technically become Cuban Missiles that means we lost!! Cuba got them missiles.  Let's Talk About It No One Else Will!  Figure that's a band name out there waiting to be used.  Cuban Missile Crisis.  That reminds me of an album title I thought of back when I was in NYU.  The Manhattan Project.  It's funny because It's A Thing and now it also means Another Thing.  Makes me laugh!  Because Also my NYU music is about as enjoyable to listen to as an Atom Bomb.  Makes me laugh!
    Fifth paragraph!  Put in Chinese Food Lunch order right now.  Brb in a sec.  I'd listen to an Atom Bomb.  Don't wanna be around when it's dropped-- but sure I'd be interested to see exactly how it sounds.  I know there's that stereotype of the sound of the bomb dropping, like at the end of Dr Strangelove: No Spoilers [seems like kind of a weird title in retrospect?].  There's also the stereotype of the sound it makes when it drops in the distance and then after a second and a half everything in the foreground starts getting blasted to pieces.  Like in Some Other Movies: No Spoilers!
    Sixth paragraph!  Wonderful.  Not a lot of good press for Atomic Bombs, but c'mon that's pretty clever.  You adjust something so, so small, or something, and then it destroys a city.  It's a tiny little bomb, maybe around My Size As A Person.  Then when it makes hard contact with the ground (I assume that's what triggers it Because I Don't Know And That's The Easiest Thing To Imagine) BOOM EVERYTHING FUCKIN ALL OVER THE PLACE IS FUCKED.  Hydrogen Bombs-- 4 out of 4 Stars!.  I dunno, crap and crap.  Aren't we like 10, 20 years away from just a bomb that destroys the entire planet?  Seems like scientifically possible within that time frame, logically.  Essentially a Death Star that Future-Trump will use on ourselves because someone made fun of him on TV.  So we got that to look forward to.
    Something that always bothered me about the little I know about Star Wars Movies, and also a lot of other Space Action/Drama movies, why the hell do you land terrestrial figures like Man onto a planet to fight.  Just stay air bound.  Dropping a squadron of Army Men seems like a huge waste of resources and manpower and well Human Life to put it bluntly.  I dunno.  Starting to get bored with the 2 podcasts I've been listening to the last few days-- Conan Podcast and Aimee Mann/Ted Leo podcast.  And the way that boredom is manifesting itself is an increasing and overriding sense of uneasiness and self consciousness that, for both of them, I don't understand 80% of the references being made.  I apparently am totally unprepared to carry a conversation as an adult with other adults, specifically within the framework of artistry/comedy/anything I wanna pretend I may have a future in.  So the point is now I need some new podcasts to listen to that won't go out of their way to make me feel bad! 
    What else.  Food should be here soon.  That's a pretty shitty way to consume podcasts, though.  And art in general. Yeah, all that's great, but how does that relate TO ME?  Boredom makes me think too hard about myself.  If I was properly occupied then I'd be occupied!  Too Occupied to care about myself!  I dunno, something along those lines.  What else is going on.  Eighth paragraph.

Food Is Here
   
    We're talkin An Absurd Amount of House Special Lo Mein as well as a pint of brown rice.  Had to get to over 10 dollars!  Wanted that there Lo Mein!  Got the absurd amount cause I couldn't even fathom The Truth about how Much it turned out to be!  I'm such a sucker when it comes to brown rice.  I get it 25-35% of the time I have to choose between White Rice and Brown Rice.  Always regret it!  They say it makes you fuller?  I don't care!  Tastes worse!  I think part of the appeal of Lo Mein is just This Is Disgusting.  Same thing with White Castle.  Just food that's sloppy and greasy and oh man you KNOW this is gonna walk the line between being Gross and Delicious.
    What else.  This is sort of the 9th paragraph.  Figure I'll write 10  and just Call It An Entry after that.  Anyway.  How is humanity not doomed.  There's so many potential apocalypses on so many fronts, at least one or two have to manifest, right?  Anyway.  Looks reasonably likely that 2 people will have won Oscars for playing Batman's nemesis The Joker.  ...I was about to say, "Cesar Romero must be turning over in his grave," but JUST SAYING, "2 people will have won Oscars for playing Batman's nemesis The Joker." is funny enough!
    Anyway, last paragraph!  Lo Mein Kamph!  Something along those lines.  I don't think we give Hitler enough credit for writing a book.  Writing a book is hard!  Not really much of a book.  Sorta a long pamphlet, that's what I imagine, at least.  Also, isn't writing a Diary Entry called My Struggle the most Snowflake thing ever?  Hitler was essentially the Alpha Snowflake which is another band name that no one should ever use but sounds like somethin' that may or may not be somethin'.  I dunno.  I'm done here.  I'll catch ya at some other time!

-3:00 P.M.

One Thought and One "Joke" I Realized After The Fact
   
    1)Sleetmanal.  Man is because he goes, "Maaan," not because of my AOL screen name. 

    2)  You Can Call Me Al is Weird Al's parody of You Can Call Me Al.  ...No reason you can't parody a song IN LYRICS while keeping the same title!  Also, not a lot of Weird Al songs are self referential to the artist who made them (Weird Al for those of you who can't keep up).  All the more reason to write You Can Call Me Al and explicitly talk about what's it like being Weird Al Yankovic?

One Ultra Thought  I Realized Even More After The Fact

        1)"Maaan"... he also has Man in his unofficial title of Hippy Dippy Weather MAN.  So its not just a reference to what he says but is actually another word in his name. 

   

Thursday, January 9, 2020

I Deserve To Write Better Entries!
   
    That's how things work, right?  Hey I've been through some shit.  Shit is inspiration for Shit.  Therefore Why Am I Not More Talented?  Doesn't seem fair!  Anyway starting to settle into a New Routine in life.  Lots of walks-- Lots!  More time walking than not walking!  Lots of podcasts listening.  Lots!  I think podcasts are a revolutionary art form because it feels like you're actually doing something.  It's like if, when watching movies, you got the sensation hey I'm IN THIS SCENE WATCHIN' SHIT GO DOWN.  Maybe that is how some people watch movies.  Hey I'm a fly on the wall while the Titanic is sinking!  Hope I Make it out alive!  How come Titanic the most popular movie of all time for like 15 years.  Hey there's this movie that's the most seen movies ever.  What happens in it?  A boat sinks.  Oh that sounds like a surprising ending.  Everyone knows its going to happen. FASCINATING.  Also it's three and a half hours long.  To be fair, Kate Winslet being topless may have been one of my first experiences looking at nude women from afar.  That's a strange way to talk about watching pornographic scenes.  GOtta wonder what kind of pysche that betrays.  I DON'T GETTA DO NOTHIN!
    Anyway.  Boy I'd like to have been a fly on the wall when the producers were having the discussion Should it be called, "Titanic," or, "THE Titanic?"  Why are people always wanting to be flies on walls.  Ya know how flies are always eavesdropping on people and things?  While being on a wall?  DUH!  I think that was Jeff Goldblum's Character's inner monologue a third into That Movie.  Well I am turning into a fly that's no good but I WILL be able to listen in on things voyeuristically so gotta look at the bright side of things...  Speaking of cult horror movies, finally did some research into Joe Bob Briggs and he is a character and is a real movie reviewer so much of the knowledge espoused is probably from him.  Anyway.  His real last name is Bloom.  wtf this guy is Jewish?  And on top of that is my Bloom Buddy?  How about that! 
    I don't think it's appropriately recognized that, across art forms, there's a recurring theme of people adapting a, "Country" alter ego, which they market as being Really them, and that's not offensive to them but rather embraced.  That describes much of country music.  Larry The Cable Guy in comedy, probably other examples.  Joe Bob Briggs.  I dunno what to make of all this but it seems interesting I'd write a thesis on it if I were in some really strange college class which I can't properly fathom as of this paragraph.  How is it that that subset of the population in art forms and entertainment came to be called country. Hey-- mostly southern rural white people... how would you describe yourself to differentiate yourself from other subsets of the country? Country.  Yes we're all part of the same country but how would y-- Country.  WHY.
    Nine freakin' days without a drink!  Right now got 2 podcasts I'm alternating between.  There's dozens waiting in the wings, though!  This could go on the rest of my life, listening to podcasts.  One should be so blessed.  Anyway.  Wrote the 1st paragraph earlier this afternoon.  Now am writing these paragraphs in Evening before dinner.  Figure I'll end the entry and Add It To The Internet some time tonight, however far I get along in it, I dunno.  Anyway, in one of the podcasts they were talkin' about the exercise where you name your Mount Rushmore of inspirations as an artist (I had also seen M Night Shyamalan do it in a tweet a couple of months ago-- True Story!)  And it's basically you choose 4 artists who have monumentally inspired you and what you do and they're the end all be all inspirations for you in terms of what you like and what you want to create.  So naturally I tried figuring it out myself.  Only have 3 out of the 4 more or less sure.  George Carlin, Elliott Smith, Stanley Kubrick.  I feel like that's a good basis for a New Monkees-esque enterprise.  Got the comedy, music, and film/tv aspects all covered!  4th Rushmore I dunno.  Oh.  The movie Rushmore.  And in the movie Rushmore has his mount Rushmore and it's a repeating 1/4th of 1/4th of 1/4th... Ive lost you.
    I feel like the closest I came to something that I'd be pretty satisfied committing to as being my 4th inspiration is Mr. Show.  But that isn't a person.  I can't differentiate between David Cross and Bob Odenkirk.  What am I some kind of differentiator?  Nope that ain't me.  For balance, though, it should be something from the world of TV.  I dunno what I'm talking about.  Fifth paragraph.  Figure I'll stop after this paragraph and maybe write more later I DUNNO YET.  I'm gonna start a new Trending Hashtag where you have to name your Mount Everest and It's A Mountain.  HEY I'VE BEEN CLIMBING UP THIS MOUNTAIN NONSTOP FOR 96 HOURS STRAIGHT!  Mountain-- "Eve'r r'est?"  HOW DARE YOU TAUNT ME MOUNTAIN I'LL GET TO THE TOP OF YOU YET! 
    That one has Stanley Kubrick written all over it.  Also, little known fact-- Stanley Kubrick wrote his name all over each page of every script.  That was the inspiration for that scene in The Shining with All Work No Play and if you tell me that was in Stephen King's Novel Version first then I Will Tell You King knew Kubrick did that and it was STILL the inspiration.  Anyway, 6th paragraph, figure I'll write this paragraph now, too!  Lots of ideas for 4th Mount Rushmore Inspiration that I feel like yeah that would be a good 4th, but I'd be forcing it.  Not realy MY fourth, if I had to decide it'd be a good fit, but I'd be stretching the truth!
    I Guess.  I guess.  What else.  Figure I'll just write 10 paragraphs today whether its now or in a little bit.  Who cares!  Not me!  At least, I shouldn't!  Hey you know how I'm always directing all those short films.  Huge influence by Kubrick!  I dunnno he can be an influence as an artist without it being in directing.  Just the way he approached his job, the overarching themes, how he went about creating and fine tuning his oeuvre, all that stuff... I dunno.  Jeez.  Walking, listening, Joe Bob Briggsing.  I guess this is what life is now.  I dunno how long this is sustainable.  I figured going into it, I dunno, one week? 2 Weeks?  Now I see its  either STOP RIGHT NOW or THIS IS THIS THIS IS PERMANENTLY MY LIFE FROM NOW ON.
    Whatever.  What's goin' on with you?  Still existing, are ya?  I wouldn't put it past ya!  Doin' your thing, as you do, I bet.  I think the best part about potentially getting a TV is I could PERMANENTLY set up my lap top computer on one of the other surfaces facing another direction instead of having to move it back and forth if I decide to write facing a different direction.  Makes sense to me.  I dunno.  I guess that'll do it for today.  See ya some other time in the future!

-7:58 P.M.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

I Don't Want To Know The Mailman
   
    Hah.  Male Man.  Makes me laugh!  The point is I'm closing in on a full, clean week without alcoholic products up to and including alcohol.  There might be some alcohol in soap, I dunno.  Good thing I don't use soap.  That's how they getcha!  That's why when I have kids no soap!  Wait till you're 21 if you wanna experiment with soap!  My house, my rules!  I don't think there's alcohol in regular soap.  Maybe some fancy hand sanitizer or something.  Anyway, went to Supermarket this morning.  Ah, Weekly Chore is Done.  That means I go A FULL WEEK without a chore!  Well, almost.  That's how math works for some reason I've been led to believe!
    I'm experimenting with Double Meat Subway Sandwich.  Imagine making some sort of pornographic pun if that's up your alley.  Hah, Up Your Alley.  Makes ME laugh!  I don't like not drinking alcohol because it also makes me able to eat more responsibly and take more walks so basically I'm TOO PRODUCTIVE AND HEALTHY each day because it sorta implicitly leads to the thought well I'm takin' care of myself now to reap the benefits later... Uh Oh There Is No Later.  I mean, time will continue going on for You and I.  But I got nothin' on the docket, personally.  And just thinking I am going to be going Above and Beyond Healthy for an indefinite amount of time, And That's It... Hmm... WHERE'S THE PAYOFF?!
    Watched The Benchwarmers II on Netflix I believe.  Pretty sure that's gonna be a player in future discussions of what is just the most aggressively bad movie ever made?  And they know it, of course, that plays into the equation.  But, yeah.  I'm not gonna say it is the worst movie ever made.  Too many moving pieces and ways to judge and I'm not into figuring it out right now.  I'm just saying, confidently, people will become aware of it in regards to Worst Movies Discussions.  Anyway, three paragraphs down?  Lunch almost done?  Gonna take a break now!  Finish up entry a little bit later in the day.  Sure some parts of Benchwarmers border on Humorous-- that just adds to it being Terrible!  It tempts us with Strangely Almost Funny Things!  How dare 'em!

Excuse Me, Post Office?  I've Got a Problem With My Mail Person...
   
    The problem is that they exist.  GET 'EM OUTTA HERE!!!  The good news is I'm gettin' back into chewing gum.  The VERY good news is Hey a bunch more episodes of Joe Bob Briggs:  The Slightly Politically Incorrect Horror Movie Man-Geek: Presents Horror Movies out there to be watched!  Joe Bob Briggs makes me want to go Excuse me post office?  I'd like to change my gender to snow flake!!!  I figure that's a pretty good way of how Joe Bob Briggs might make fun of me in some sort of scenario where Joe Bob Briggs both knows who I am and has decided to Poke Rib At Me in a slightly politically incorrect way!  Lots of things have to align to make this scenario happen but Hey I'm Not Countin' Anything Out At This Point!
    Positive-- new brand of Gum is Wintergreen-- my favorite!  Negative-- for calories, it just says <5.  Less than 5.  Gotta be more specific!  Do you guys remember learning about < and > (as in--- 3>2 means three is greater than 2), and the way they taught it, was like if its x>y, that means x is MORE than y because its like a mouth > I'M GONNA GOBBLE UP X BECAUSE ITS MORE THAN Y AND MORE IS EMPIRICALLY BETTER!)  I'm not fucking around, that's how I was taught it!  the opening is a mouth and I want to eat the bigger number.  That's how they teach math to gifted children and presumably everyone because hey how else are you gonna remember I'd like to see ya explain it!  Oh-- also-- corollary!  Not only is it a Mouth To Eat the bigger number, but its an arrow pointing to the smaller number.  Like, I'ma eat this bigger number with the mouth.  Hey, I'm pointing to this other number...  you go after this number.  Hey, check out this number!  See it?  Go for it!  All yours!
    That either makes too little sense or too much sense.  No middle ground there.  It's a real either < or >.  Anyway, what else is going on.  Sixth paragraph.  Figure that's pretty good for a day's worth of paragraphs.   Anyway.  Got a haircut and a shave a few days ago.  It had been 6 month since my last Either One.  It's great because now I can look in the mirror and be like oh hey so this is what people look like I had almost forgotten!  Where's the Keyboard button for signifying Greater Than OR EQUAL TO?  Those are fun, right?  Ya don't know whether its greater than or equal t.. well yeah that explains it pretty well.  Anyway, another entry in the books.  See ya later!

-3:35 P.M.

Saturday, January 4, 2020

So Many Days!  So Little Drinking!
   
    Four Days!  Negative 27 Drinks!  U DO THE MATH!  I did it for myself, now you do it for you!  Ain't never gonna learn if I do all the maths for ya!  So great what else is going on.  I like Abstaining From Stuff as the Main Productive I'm Doing because all I have to do is not do something.  I can Not Do Anything All Day!  All Week!  All Mo... okay now we're getting into hard territory.  But the point is while I'm abstaining from one thing I can over-stain other vices that I'm not under-staining quite yet.  More eatings instead of drink!  Less walkings!  Just gotta get over some sort of hump one would imagine!
    Hey I got my new abundance of Eye Contact Lenses.  They're good cause I put them in front of my eyeballs and then I can see further distances as if they weren't that so far away.  Eye balls sounds like a dirty thing.  We all know Balls are dirty.  They come in a set in some of our groin areas.  Balls can never get clean is the point.  Always rollin' around in some sort of muck.  We've learned that from Pondering About Beer Pong.  Pong Bottle misses the table, hits the floor, we dunk it into a cup of water like that's supposed to do something.  First of all, that cup of water is dirty after the 1st time we go through this process.  2nd of all-- bacteria don't give no crap about a dunk into some water!  That ain't gonna stop you from getting FloorAIDS at all!
    I think if you really wanna raise  the stakes in BeerPong you should make the loser drink that cup of water!  Hah I am an innovator I can see that catching on.  Among Jerks, ya know.  Jerks like that kind of thing.  Ya never see a group of 60 year olds playing Beer Pong.  That's accurate, I dunno.  Ya never see a group of 60 year olds at all.  I dunno why.  From my experience, this probably isn't universal, but old people don't wanna hang out with anybody. It's not like they're hanging out in secret and we just don't know about it.  My parents are old and I'm positive they have no friends.  They don't even like each other.  Not even me or my brother, particularly!  But that might just be because my parents have always been weirdos with no friends.  I have no idea but I wouldn't put it past them!  They did Produce Me, after all. 
    My Dad is very friendly with Doctors and Delivery People and Customer Support.  He's a friendly guy with no friends.  Spoiler Alert-- that's who I am and I'm just projecting it all onto my father figure.  Who, in this case, is my father.  I've found our fathers are our most accurate father figures in life.  Spoiler Alert-- I'm not even that much of a friendly guy.  I'm enticed by the idea of friendship and hope to one day experience it for myself should the cards work out forever in my favor.  Anyway.  What's going on in the wide world of 2020.  Hmm year just started goin' ok so f--- OOoOoop going into a full fledged war DAMNIT.  Can't we go three days into a year without it somehow becoming worse than the last year which was somehow worse than the year that preceded it?  The good news is I think the Left is much more mobilized than in 2003 so I think we can resist the bullshit call to war a little bit better together.  But the bad news is I'm basing that on nothing and I wouldn't be surprised if the odds weren't forever in my favor in regards to that ending up accurate. 
    Anyway.  Gonna take some sort of walk before Lunch gets here in roughly 90 minutes and the walk is 30 minutes and I wanna allow at least 15 minutes before Food is supposed to get here to make sure I'm here from mny walk because MATHS I FIGURED IT OUT AND NOW YOU HAVE TOO.  I think we've become kind of de-sensitized to assassinations because they're by a drone.  Hey we killed this guy to maybe start a war.  WTF WE JUST WENT UP TO AND KILLED A GUY?  Nope a drone found him and took him out.  OH WELL THEN I GUESS THAT'S BOUND TO HAPPEN NOW AND THEN.  Kinda takes the humanity out of Killing People.  Anyway figure I'll write a 6th paragraph, then take a walk of some sort, then I'll be back here with All The Times to spare.
    Jeez.  Just talked to my Mom.  She had a dream last night about me!  I love it.  I think people should be thinking about me nonstop.  Even- especially-- when they're sleeping!  Apparently in the dream I was in some sort of college and I was telling my Mom I was on some sort of Wrestling Team and my Mom had some sort of reaction to being slightly worried about it so she went to some sort of library to do some sort of research on Sport Wrestling Not Show Wrestling.  Yeah!  The great thing is, I think it's a relatively universal thing to look into ones' own dreams for hidden meaning and whatnot and have fun that way.  It's EVEN BETTER to look into SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAMS for hidden meanings as it pertains to you!
    I dream I'm on the wrestling team?  Great, vaguely interesting, what else is going on.  My Mom dreams it?  NOW MY INTEREST IS ENTICED LETS FIGURE THIS ONE OUT!  My first reaction to what does this mean is hey college wrestling-- generic Thing To Do That's A Real Thing.  My Mom is Dreaming I'm Doing A Real Thing.  I dunno why College Wrestling represents, "Generic Thing To Do That's a Real Thing"-- that seems to describe anything.  But College Wrestling in particular!  Anyway.  Seventh paragraph.  Figure I'll write an 8th then take walk then Recalibrate Where I'm At In Life.  I guess College Wrestling is good because it has Weight Classes so if I get in shape my height won't hurt me it may even HELP me! Wonderful, just wonderful.
    What else is going on.  Giving a very little bit of thought to going to Grad School.  Wonder if that is cosmically related to my Mom's dream.  The thought came first, a week or two ago.  Then My Mom's dream happened last night.  Get the continuity straight, alright?!?  Hey I was just talkin about BeerPong: The College Sport Sensation wonder if that's relevant.  Pretty sure there's no good use for BeerPong outside of University.  Which I refer to as University because I'm European for now.  I dunno.  Also, Beer Pong is like the opposite of Regular Pong.  In regular pong, you're trying to avoid the bar on the other side.  In beer pong, you're trying to hit the target, which has now taken the form of a cup instead of a bar but it still the target.  Reversed!  Eight paragraphs done.  Figure I'll just quit entry now.  See ya later!

-2:06 P.M.

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

How many times do I have to listen to people joke about 20/20 vision before I end everything?  Also WOW WHAT A MAGICAL TITLE!
   
    My guess is, I'll give em a solid month to make that pun.  January 2020?  Have at it.  February hits?  It's over for me.  Maybe You Too.  But definitely someone or something is gonna go.  Also, it's essentially my Dad who makes that joke over and over again.  ANd, to be honest, I often make it back!  It's a real father/son activity.  Goin' back and forth with the exact same pun for months, even years.  Until we get a new one.  Who knows what the new Uniting Us All Pun will be?  I can't wait to find out!
    Anyway.  I like watching Boardwalk Empire because once every few episodes I'm reminded oh this is the guy who played weird crazy weirdos who are crazy in Adam Sandler movies as a throwaway.  Now look at him!  I dare ya!  If you look at Steve Buscemi and say Blood Mary 5 times he'll get it eventually what you're looking for and turn into a ghost because he's A People Pleaser.  Hmm.  Buscemi.  Bus.  Semi.  Choose a mode of transportation, Name!  Please!  Anyway.  Made a New Years Revelation that I'd quit alcohol.  Either entirely or on some sort of 90% thing.  So far, so good!  Haven't had a drink in an entire 12 hours!  Anyway.  Got Chipotle coming in about half an hour.  Will Resume Entry Then!
    Jeez.  Speaking of days and months and years, I think I wanna write a New Imagining of Julius Ceasar where they kill him on pi day (3.14), which is a day before Ides of March, because they were originally going to just have a huge pie fight and not kill anyone but things just really got out of hand.  Hmm looks like I started a third paragraph without the food being here yet.  Hey how about that.  What else.  Oh, I wrote 2 or 3 worthwhile Tweets over the last week!  HERE YA GO!

I'm sick of hearing the joke, "how come Halloween never falls on a Friday the Thirteenth?" without it being clearly stated that I was unequivocally the first person ever to think of that. merry holidays.

  It's It's funny because its true!

I think both Left and Right can and should unite to demand a sequel called, "Life Is Beautiful Again."
 

    Hmm should I go with Life Is Beautiful Again?  Maybe Make Life Beautiful Again.  The point is while writing this Tweet I accidently realized the very likely possibility of Trump's 2020 campaign slogan being Keep America Great!  It's good one!  I don't care who knows it!  Especially because it's a Halloween/Friday 13 scenario.  Who ever says it first REALLY wins big time!  I will accept you congratulations in the mail.

I don't like the phrase, "Happy New Year!" The year just started. Who knows how happy it's going to be? "Happy Old Year," sounds like a safer bet.

    Also, new though!  Is it Happy New YEAR or Happy New YEARS.  Either you're celebrating the coming year or you're celebrating All Years In General.  Up to you, but the first makes more sense, though!  And it's always been your dream to make sense!

Don't Look At Me!
 
    I'm positive I've used that title multiple times here.  Because I literally come up with that phrase as a title 50% of the time I'm thinking of a title. Over the last 6 months, year, I dunno.  Hmm what's a good title I haven.. DONT LOOK AT ME!  Cut to 3 weeks later.  Hey I need a good new ti... DONT LOOK AT M... wait that already happened.  1 month later.  Man I'm due for a new... DONT LOOK AT M.. FUCK FUCK FUCK LIFE I HATE IT SO MUCH.  Anyway.  Exactly 9 months since I quit smoking.  More or less a day or two who knows how long 9 months really is its all subjective.  So anyway Quitting Cigarettes has just given birth to Quitting Alcohol!
    Anyway JUST NOW I FINALLY GOT LUNCH AND AM IN THE PROCESS OF BEGINNING TO EAT IT.  I wanted to get Pizza but they was closed for New Years Celebrations so I got Chipotle Because They Only Celebrate Cinco De Mayo-- their new years.  Also, is it wrong that every year I am dissapointed to not be able to say on Rosh Hashunah Happy Jew Years!.  Every year is another year, another missed opportunity!  What else is crappening.  Sometimes I fantasize about getting a drum set and playing drums but NOT learning the drums, just playing them not even half right.  Just, whenever I wanna drive a lyric or guitarwork home, that's when Ya Hit The Drum!  That's my impression on how things work. 
    Anyway.  When you're playing Rock Band or Guitar Hero doesn't that warrant you some royalties if you're playing it with an audience?  It's like a streaming service, essentially.  Hey I got you to listen to Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and there's eight of you... Figgure you each give me a dollar for the show, and I'll keep a cent of each dollar... the rest goes to Video Game Developers, and if there's any left over, let Mighty Mighty Bosstones have it!  Figure I'll write 2 more paragraphs after this one.  Then go back to being Bored.  HEY I went to the supermarket today because I'm a super guy only the best markets for me!  And the good news is welp another week until I have to do A Chore.
    Anyway.  Tried to stay up as late as I could last night because I like it when numbers happen.  But I fell asleep before any balls dropped.  I like how there's only a 2 minute window over the entire year when we year The New Years Song.  Auld Lang Syne.  I just looked it up on Internet and it was oringially just some song!  irish I believe it sonds like!  Now we go the entire year forgetting it, and suddenly, we can't avoid yearing it!  The Beatles can only DREAM of such a routine.  Holy shit every year for 2 minutes NO MORE NO LESS and the world is singing your song!  John Lennon was a jealous guy-- he said as much in a song.
    Last paragraph I guess!  Just checked up some facts on "The New Years Song."  First of all-- Scottish, not Irish.  Second of all-- older than I imagined!  Based on a poem in the 1700's.  I was imagining just some random Irish song written by some random person from the 1940's.  Turns out I was wrong about everything! EVERYTHING!  Anyway.  Gettin' a new pair of glasses.  As The Who might say, New pair of glasses, same as the old pair of glasses. And you know what, they ARE very similar!  Plastic black frame, shape of lens maybea bit different but CLOSE very Close.  Anyway, that'll do it for now.  See ya in some alternate future that is alernate to the future It Would Seem To Be As Of Now!

-1:20 P.M.

Contact: mankindguy@gmail.com