Saturday, June 23, 2017
Entry? I Don't Believe It!
Wow. Let's see if I can still do
this. It's been three weeks and whatnot. June Class started.
Almost finished. One more week. Open Mic'd it up all over the place
the last month. That's goin' well. Made some tweets, don't mean to
brag or anything. Money is on poker. Playin' above my means, but
what else is new, am I right? Crap and crap. What else is new,
indeed. Well, that covers everything. See ya later!
Nah. I gotta have some goof-em-ups stored in me from the past several
weeks of Life Experience. I don't know.
Second paragraph. So, all else being equal, I'm a
paragraph up from where I started the day. Been re-watching The Wire.
That's taken up a week so far. That's a pretty good show. It may be
an unpopular position to take, but critics be damned. I like when stuff
happens. That's how I feel about that show and shows in general.
Anyway, crap and crap. Did you guys here about the time I went to the
African American open mic when everyone did karaoke and I went up last and used
profanity in my song and they were very upset? If not, you just did right
now! Alright! Under normal circumstances, I would have turned that
story into two paragraphs. This isn't normal circumstances though for some
reason. Seems pretty normal to me. Circumstances and all, I mean.
Circumstances be damned! Crap and crap. I can
do 10 paragraphs or something if that's how it plays out. See where that
takes me. On the fourth season of the Wire, the one with middle school as
the main character. Kinda rekindles some thoughts of wanting to teach in
me. They paint it as a terrible place and an unrewarding job, but I see
the positives anyway. Kids seem to be havin' fun. I'm around 13 year
olds having fun, maybe that fun rubs off on me. As long as it doesn't come
from me rubbing off on them. That would be inappropriate. Anyway,
crap and crap.
It also renewed my interest in wanting to be Stringer Bell.
There's a guy whose got it all figured out up until the end of season three.
I'm a guy who has it all figured out until the end of season three? That's
a life well lived right there. I used to actively dislike Brother Mouzone,
cause he's pretty cartoony in an otherwise realistic-type drama. Now I
realize, it's all fucking TV, who cares. Both in terms of Brother
Mouzone and in terms of life. Life Lesson. Crap and crap.
Mets pretty much done for the season. Let's trade some crap and get
prospects! Prospects that are real prospective like. Potential
prospectors, I mean. That sort of crap.
If I ended every paragraph with, "That Sort of Crap," I feel
like that's a pretty sweet groove to get into. Anyway, crap and crap.
Trump is still around. How about that. Pretty sure someone mentioned
Trump in The Wire. Says something like, What do I look like, Trump?
cause he considers himself a street drug dealer and not a legitimate business
enterprise like our esteemed president supposedly is and whatnot. I
googled What Wars Are Going On Now a day or two ago, and there's like 15
wars going on now! What bullshit. War what is it goof for.
That sort of crap.
Anyway, what else. Hey, I just got lucky in poker!
Really Trumpin' it up, so to speak. Crap and crap. What is this, the
fifth paragraph? Nope, sixth. How about that bullshit. Crackin'
down on dieting a bit more. For a month or two, I was still dieting, but
not as much. Now gettin' back to a little bit more. Let's get it
over with and whatnot. I feel I am more attractive now than three months
ago, but I can become even more attractive! All I need to do is lose
weight and change my face and walk on stilts from now on. What else.
Puttin' some online effort into starting a band. Gotta do something.
Probably. That's what I've been led to believe, at least.
Seventh paragraph. That sort of crap. Anyway,
what the what. Another Open Mic on Monday. I like that sort of crap.
One of the main guys there, whose always there and everyone knows, went to
Stuyvesant. We bonded about it when I commented on his Stuyvesant Alum
Sweater. Then we each went on with our business. Crap and crap.
We also bonded over the year he graduated. 87. I was like, Yeah,
I've heard of that. 1987. Familiar with how it happened and that
sort of crap. Anyway, what the what. Depending on who I'm talking to
and the situation, I can either direct them to michaelkornblum.bandcamp.com or
theuppers.bandcamp.com. It's nice to have options.
Eighth paragraph. Whatta do with rest of night.
Should start reading one of the books for this class. I gotta write an 8
page paper by next Friday, so it's good if I read a book and whatnot. Got
some more TV that needs watching. That's good news and whatnot. I
like how the first time around you think Carcetti is gonna be great and then are
sad when he's not. This time around, I know he's full of crap from the get
go. Life lessons. What else is full of crap from the get go.
I'll admit that watching every other scene of Season Two being in a bar and/or
having people drinking made me drink once or twice. Still got it under
control. About only once a week, not counting Open Mic Night. I also
had a dream I ate some marijuana in a pita. But that's just dreams.
Ninth paragraph. What the what. I did take one
hit of marijuana a few weeks ago at Open Mic. Some guy was rolling a joint
and asked me to join him. Just took the one hit, though.
Responsible. That's me and whatnot. Would I do it again? I
don't know, sure, who cares. Crap and crap. Been jammin' outside
Penn Station a few times if I don't make my train. That goes well
sometimes and poorly another time. Livin' the dream! Anyway, what
else. I got enough of my own songs to carry me through an hour or an hour
and a half. That's how I feel.
Tenth paragraph. Let's see how long I feel like making
this entry. What else is crap. Been participatin' like a mofo in
June Class. That's how I do. Might even stop after this paragraph!
Who knows for sure. Just won some more money in Poker. Trumpin-it-up,
so to speak. Jeez. Good shot that this'll be the last
paragraph. That's how I feel. What else and crap. Gonna have
to mix it up and start going to weekend open mics next month. I can do
that, do that hardcore. Or acoustic, more accurately. That's what
I'm all about these days. Except for when lookin' to start Band online.
Then I'm all about indie rock/alt rock/lightish punk. Gotta have titles.
I'll see ya later.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Let's Do It To It
I guess. Class tomorrow.
Reading to do today. Entry right now. That covers pretty much
everything. See ya later! Nah. Crap and crap, let's get going.
Kickin' some ass in poker. Yesterday, at least. Just started today.
Don't have dinner for tonight yet. I get to choose from anything!
Anything! Great. What else. Woke up at a relatively reasonable
1:30 today. Good to get on track for waking up at 11:30 for class
tomorrow. Anyway, what the what. At 153 pounds. Oh well.
Losing at a slower rate that I'd like, but still making progress. 17
pounds to go until I'm in a normal BMI range. Alright!
Alright! Huh? Fourth entry in four days of June.
And there's probably been 5 or 6 goofballs so far in the 3 entries plus.
I've already lost 2 and a half dollars today in 10 minutes! That's no
good! Oh well, live and learn. Made a bad play and I paid the piper
for it. Pretty sure I'm supposed to print out the online readings to bring
into class. I can do that. I know how to use printers and
everything. What kinda dream did I have last night. I remember good
parts and bad parts. I had a follow up to the Crazysheet-Comedy-Show from
2 nights ago. It was a thought that Oh, yeah, I had that dream, but it
did happen in real life, now I remember! Still was a dream,
though. Didn't actually happen in real life either time.
Also, what else. The worst part about the terrorism in
London yesterday was I didn't get to watch Lockdown: The Show About Prison on
MSNBC. They had actual news on like Chumps. Anyway, crap and crap.
It's possible, if I play right and not too much out of my level, I can build
this bankroll up to several hundred dollars over time, and then over time,
several thousand. Imagine it! Money! It'll take time and
consistent smart play. But, sure, why not. I've gotten into the
50-90 dollar range several times over the past year and ended up blowing it.
So, that's probably the most likely outcome. We'll see.
Fourth paragraph! Wow. My Mom offered to make me
French Toast and I was like Can you make it for dinner? and she was like
No and I was like Can you make it now and I save it for dinner? and
she was like No and I was like But you just offered and she was
like Changed my Mind. It was an exchange I will now remember
forever. Anyway. Kind of ticked off Guitar Teacher never contacted
me. What's his problem. He thinks he's better than me?! Well,
he is. That's why he's the teacher. But, still, whatta chump.
If the Mets win 10 games in a row, they're right back in it! That could
happen. It's happened before. It'll happen again. It's just a
matter of when.
Fifth paragraph! Alright! If they cancel baseball
then it might not happen again. I don't see them doing that, though.
Not any time soon. I did some research and found out why they're called
the Pittsburgh Pirates. It's because they're based in Pittsburgh.
Ugh. No, the Pirate part. It's because the fans behaved like
Pirates or something. I did the research. Crap and crap.
Pittsburgh sounds like a pretty nice place based on Wikipedia article.
That's all propaganda, though. I'm not buying it. I have a line in
an old song I know more than the encyclopedia, and every now an then I
consider updating it to wikipedia, but I don't. At least I don't
think I did. I played the song on Monday and I'm pretty sure I stuck to
encyclopedia. It's a funny word.
It's got "Cycle" in it. Commentary. What else is
going on. What shirt to wear for class tomorrow. It's important to
make a good first impression. And Shirts are the best way to make an
impression. Crap and crap. I'm getting used to Jay Bruce being
introduced by a rap song. I'm fine with it now. It took some getting
used to, but I'm okay now. And I'm all for them playing Sure Shot
before batters. I'll never get tired of that because it makes me feel
smart that I get the Rod Carew reference that they don't play but is implied.
They were showing the top career homerun leaders because Albert Pujols is moving
up on the list, and Jim Thome is in 7th or 8th! Wow! I forgot all
about Jim Thome. He was a sure 2nd rounder in doing drafts in Ken Griffey
Jr Baseball on Nintendo 64!
Great, what else. I'll always like Albert Pujols
because he was my first pick in the long-term fantasy baseball league I was in
in high school and led me to 3 consecutive 1st places. My man, my man.
Crap and crap. Seventh paragraph. How about that. I don't
know. Up a bit in poker again. Let's talk about it. That's how
that goes. Jeez. Might see Arcade Fire or Modest Mouse later in the
year. The plans have been set into motion. Those are some intense
bands, though. Could be scary. But I like 'em, so who cares.
Eighth paragraph. Let's get it goin'. The Mets
are losing 8 to 1. How'd that happen. I remember a time when this
game hadn't even started yet. Oh well, live and learn. Gotta get in
the zone of writing entry. Say crap and whatnot. Maybe a shorter
entry today. Seems like one way to go about things. What else.
I haven't written anything in half an hour. Jeez. I guess I'm
finally out of things to say again after a long time of consecutive being out of
things to say.
Ninth paragraph. That'll get the juices flowing.
Class tomorrow. That could go well potentially. Open Mic tomorrow?
Probably not. But Maybe! I got songs that need singin'. Maybe
someone sexy'll ask me to write songs for them. A real dream come true and
whatnot. The sexy part of my dream last night was I was with a girl I
liked and she was like your penis is showing and it was and I put it
away. Boy does that get me off. Exhibitionism! I got nothin'
against it. Except for how it could promote civil unrest. From that
standpoint, we gotta take a stand against naked people in public.
It's the Responsible way to go, that's all I'm sayin.
I'd love to see naked people as much as you would walking down the street.
Naked ladies, that gets me goin', I don't know about you. Anyway.
When I was a kid, One Week is the first song I remember being a real big thing
that I registered, and I remember feeling awkward about getting the CD because
of the name Bare Naked Ladies. I felt like my parents would be against it
or something. I guess that's how that band gets off, I don't know their
trip, seems like a possibility.
11th paragraph. Sweet. Never Forget.
Especially with another number. I forget which. I wanna say...
seven. Crap and crap. Pretty sure One Week is about the first
story in Genesis. And by that I mean Sonic the Hedgehog. He was in
there, right? Sonic the Hedgehog tricked Eve into eating the forbidden
apple. That's great, just great. God could have warned her not to do
it, he's partly responsible. Snake tells her to eat it, she goes to pick
it up, God ought to go, HEY WAIT, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT, THINK ABOUT IT FOR
A SECOND. But he didn't. Verdict? God is guilty.
12th paragraph. Were Adam and Eve vegetarians? Or
were they cool with eating the animals that talked to them. Either way,
something's wrong. Crap and crap. They don't call it the Garden
of Eating for nothing! There used to be a resturant we went to every
now and then called The Garden of Eating. My main memory is my Dad would
go to pick up food from them and I would eat Steak Tips and Garlic Bread while
watching Beyond Belief: Fact Or Fiction. I feel like I've talked about
that before. It's a key facet of my youth. Anyway, crap and crap.
Well, I proved God is Guilty in this entry. If nothing else, I settled
that age old question.
13th paragraph. And there has been somethings else!
Like transitional phrases and saying what paragraph I'm at. Jeez, what the
what. Two worst parts of my poker game-- going on tilt when I lose a big
pot and keep trying to get into big pots to make up for it. Worst part,
that is. Second worst part-- table is going really slow, not in terms of
how long it takes each person to act, but in terms of not a lot of flops, and I
get bored. Anyway, what the what. Also, calling on the river with
the worst hand because I wanna know what the other guy has for sure.
14th paragraph. Three holes in your game, that's enough
to get you down. I'm talkin' downtown. What else. When I got
back the e-mail I sent to my brother about possible shows to see, I saw his
G-Mail Title is now Bob. I wanted to e-mail him back, do you really go
by Bob now? but felt like it doesn't merit an e-mail. Actually, it
odes! I'ma Do It! Actually, it doesn't! I've done a complete
540. Let it simmer a little bit, sometimes it's best to wonder about
things instead of know for sure.
15th paragraph. What the what! Crap and crap.
Pretty much at about where I started the day in Poker Bankroll. That's
alright. I started the day pretty high, all things considering. This
incarnation of my bankroll started at a dollar 35. Now I'm over 50
dollars. That'll learn 'em for having freerolls! And giving me a ten
dollar bonus because I accumulated lots of points! Crap and crap.
I'm pretty sure if you win enough money you get crowned King Poker. So I'm
aiming for that, all things considered. I was probably better at Poker
when I was a teenager. Definitely live poker. THis was before I went
crazy, and was good at reading people and whatnot. And misleading people
with my crazy hand movements. Heh. But also at online poker, too.
Was probably more conservative and disciplined.
16th paragraph! What the what. Gonna do that
class readings tonight. They're not so long. So I got that to not
look forward to. Let's see, June class ends at 3:30 PM, I get back before
4:30, so one would imagine I'd be writing entries some of those days.
Actually it ends at 3:40. Well, there goes that. What else is
crap. Al Gore speakin' up about Global Warming. I love me some Al
Gore. Let's get him to run in 2020. I'm not kiddin', he's great.
Anyway, what the what. They stole the election from him, and now
he's back with a vengence! Seems like a winning storyline to me.
And, it still may be a little absurd to consider wrestlers for presidents, but
having wrestling-type storylines driving the debate, I think it's safe to say
that's the direction we're in/going in.
17th paragraph. What the what. I hope Walker
The Talker is Vice President. He's the wrestler I came up with whose
always on the phone, infuriating his opponents trying to get his attention.
Anyway, crap and crap. Shane McMahon must be middle aged now. He was
the Boy Wonder! Oh what a world we live in. The future. Crap
and crap. Apparently, I was reading wikipedia about the current going ons
about wrestling, and there's this wrestler they've been pushing as a good guy
for years, and nobody likes him. That's actually a pretty clever way to
get people to care in this era of knowing wrestling is fake.
Clever, I say! What else is what I say. 18th
paragraph. What the what. I can't imagine anyone reading this.
A year or two ago, sure, it had a high percentage of goof-em-ups, I feel.
But the current state, jeez. What a sledge. Crap and crap. I'm
pretty sure if Al Gore tried, he could get people to care about him again.
He was all about Global Warming for years when no one else was talking about it.
He's got street cred and whatnot. And he can be all about Global
Warming Again when no one else is talking about it. Gotta imagine in a
week everyone will forget about it again, right?
19th paragraph. What the what. I don't know.
Ritalin isn't really a good predictor of when I get in the zone. It can
happen at any moment. And end at any moment. Well, moments when I
have the Website Open and am sitting at the computer. Hard to get in the
zone without that. What else is crap. Was listening to some Elliott
Smith last night, and genuinely had the thought at one point, He's Not So
Good, I'm Better Than That! Because I'm a delusional moron. For
brief moments, at least. Then I recognize my moronic delusion, find it
amusing, put it on my website.
20th paragraph. Maybe get some pizza and beef patty for
dinner tonight and tomorrow. I like me some beef patty. It's got
pastry and beef. Two great things. You know, you never see meat in a
cone-- Chopped Liver! I learned about it from a documentary.
Crap and crap. Am I the only one who thinks Mary should have ended up with
Matt Dillon? Let's talk about it. What else is crap. Who knows
how many paragraphs to go. Ten? Good guess, probably. Based on
previous data I've accumulated. Crap and crap. The door's wide open
for me to get pizza and beef patty. I'm talkin' wide open. If I'm
doin' Open Mic tomorrow, I'd have to decide tonight, as I'd have to leave within
an hour of getting home from class. And I'd have to argue with my parents
about it, so there's no time for that tomorrow afternoon.
21st paragraph. Imagining being up there, playing
songs, feels good. Being there around people, listening to songs, feels
good. Arguing with my parents, feels bad. Not gettin' into the zone
of Class, could be a negative. I don't know. Crap and crap.
I'd potentially have to listen to an mp3 of a song or two if I want to play
those. I forget some lyrics. Anyway, what the what. Logically,
based on those qualifiers, I should go tomorrow. But there's a reason I
don't want to that I can't quite put my finger on. Because it's not a
physical thing. It's more of a concept. Can't touch concepts, now
Anyway, what the what. My parents' point of view may be
seeping into my own. The thing I can't verbalize may just be their point
of view, that it's not quite an Adult thing to do. Damnit, I hate getting
more responsible! What's it ever done for me lately. But Logically,
I don't see how it matters. I'd get home in time for the same amount of
sleep I'd get otherwise. I'd have time to prepare for class in any way I'd
need to. Jeez, what the what. Another thing is I just don't want to
argue with my parents. Who needs it.
23rd paragraph. What the what. I've given myself
a lot to think about. And there's only a finite amount of time to think
about it! Oh No! What to do. I really don't know. I was
listening to some Dinosaur Jr last night, and I've felt this before, one of
their lyrics may be one of my favorite lyrics of anyones. The one line,
without the surrounding rhymes, is, Your's ain't the only way to feel.
I like it. I like it a lot. Anyway, crap and crap. There's a
Dinosaur Jr concert in the coming months but I don't know anyone who likes
Dinosaur Jr. I also don't know anyone. That settles that.
24th paragraph. Maybe Dinosaur Jr will be at the Open
Mic! Can't discount that possibility. Anyway, crap and crap. I
need to buy some new T-Shirts that advertise what bands I like. That way
I'm always telling people stuff by having them look at me. I have enough
Stop Fracking shirts from my brother to wear for two weeks in a row.
Only so many times you can tell people to stop fracking. Anyway, what the
what. The majority of people don't even frack in the first place. I
don't know, what else. Six paragraphs to go after this one. I can do
that for sure. Fer sure.
25th paragraph. I don't know. To Open Mic or Not
To Open Mic. Whatever. I don't know. First things first,
finish this entry. Second things second, figure out a third thing.
Third things third, enact the thing I thought of for the second thing. The
more consecutive times I go to Open Mic the more part of the Community I am.
That's something to consider I guess if I'm stupid. Let's see, what else
is crap. Gotta figure out whatta talk about for the next five paragraphs.
Stuff and crap, I guess. What's up.
Five paragraphs to go. Let's do it hardcore. A
little past 5 PM it is now, let's see how long it'll take me to write 5
paragraphs. Let's get goin'. I don't know, what the what. My
brain power is floating towards Open Mic Decision. Gotta get it back
floating towards Entry Composition. I've attended music shows on nights I
have class the next day. That's a way to frame my argument should I make
one. Anyway, what the what. I'm doin' Crazysheet now. Devote
brain energy to Crazysheet. And maybe a little bit to anticipate eating
beef patty. But that's it.
27th paragraph. Jeez, what else is crap.
Thankfully my Brother isn't still evil, judging by last night's dream. Now
he's irrelevant. Didn't show up in the dream at all. Who needs em.
Especially if he's calling himself Bob now. I don't know how I feel about
having a brother named Bob. Actually, yes I do. I'm against it.
Crap and crap. Bob is the evil version of my brother. That's what
I've gathered. Crap and crap. I think it's safe to say that before
Bernie Sanders, Al Gore was my favorite politician. Before I knew who
Bernie Sanders was, at least. He's been around for a while.
Crap and crap. And he will forever live on in the form
of my t-shirt. As long as people are wearing t-shirts with your name on 'em,
legends never die. Crap and crap. The only band t-shirt I've been
able to wear the last 2 years is the Tenacious D Rocks shirt. Now that I'm
slimming down, I got the Elliott Smith one, the Beatles one I custom made, and
potentially a third one. I have another Tenacious D one, but we're not
counting that. It says Cleveland Steamers on it and I'm no longer
comfortable wearing that on my chest. Oh, I got a Wilco shirt. How
29th paragraph! I don't want this fun to end. Oh
well, live and learn. But this fun ending leads directly to beef patty fun
beginning. So there's that I need to take into consideration. Open
Mic. Jeez. I wanna do it, that's where I'm at right now. Don't
wanna argue about it. Once I start arguing, I'm fine, the worst part is
over, introducing the argument. Anyway, what the what. Crap and
crap. When I introduce an argument, my parents think, "THAT'S
TERRIBLE," but by the time I've gone through the argument, they think,
"that's terrible," not in caps. That's how things go.
30th paragraph. What the what. I don't know.
What kind of crap is gonna be on TV tonight. Probably some freak shows on
some channels, not in the mood for that. In four weeks I have a Monday
without class the next day. Might as well just settle for that. I
don't know. What the what. Almost done. Jeez. Crap and
crap. What else. Being around people in class is enough to look
forward to I guess. Even though that might end up being a snooze.
We'll see and crap. I'll catch ya later.
Saturday, June 3, 2017
I was surprised. When I woke up I
was under the impression it was Monday. Boy was my face red. Which
is an expression for some reason one would assume. Probably a dig at
gingers. Crap and crap, what's going on today. Thinking about
getting that guitar cable/USB cable so I can use garageband on my guitar.
Seems like it's worth ten dollars or whatever. First I'd need to get a
guitar fixed. Or second. I can do it in any order I please, now that
I think about it. Anyway. Undecided on Open Mic on Monday-- the real
Monday. I'd say it's about 2 to 1 that I don't go. Anyway, crap and
2nd paragraph! First always goes quickly, what with the
multitude of introductions I can make. Had some crazy dreams last night,
that at the end of the dream into when I first woke up I was like, I gotta
write down everything that happened in this dream, it would be a great movie.
But there were like 20 characters alone, so I knew I'd never get it all down.
Anyway, crap and crap. It had twists and turns and everything.
Nothing I remember, though. Oh well, live and learn. Also, two
actors appeared as themselves in the dream, one being Steve Martin. The
other one I forget.
How about that and crap. Gettin' a hot dog and Kasha
and Vanishkas for dinner tonight. I don't know how to spell that word so I
just went for it. Great. Pasta! I haven't had that in months,
I told you that recently. Anyway, crap and crap. Up three dollars in
poker to start the day. That's good, good stuff. If I win enough I
get to move up in stakes again temporarily! That's always fun and a half.
What's going on. I have the TV on What Lies Beneath, but judging on what's
on the surface, not entertained. Commentary. What else is
crap. Bill Maher in trouble for using the N word. I don't care.
He was wrong but there's free speech so I don't feel strongly one way or
He's always been upfront about being Politically Incorrect.
As well as being upfront about being Real Time. Anyway, what the what.
I think it's already common knowledge Bill Maher is kind of a douche. Crap
and crap. The real reason I started this entry was so I could turn off
What Lies Beneath. Let's get Real Time about it and whatnot. Fourth
paragraph. How about that crap. Three quarters done with the Peach
Snapple. Last time I drank it I actually kind of liked it. Liked is
a strong word. No it isn't. In this context it is.
Oh okay. I tolerated it. I'd prefer anything I'd normally drink
Issues. Crap and crap. Vanessa Bayer and Bobby
Moynihan won't be back on SNL next season. Whatta jip. They're both
good uns. If that means they're making room for me, though, I'm all for
it. Can't discount that as a possibility. Woody Allen thinks I'm a
good actor, that's a strong recommendation. In dreams, at least.
Dreams are real. Right? Anyway, crap and crap. I don't know,
what the what. Fifth paragraph. This Lemonade + Iced Tea is too
sweet. I've done a complete 540. Some of the epic dream was
disturbing. Some of it was funny. Some if it was sexy. That's
a movie, right?
Sixth paragraph. Part of the Sexy was there was a girl
I was fooling around with and she wanted me to write a song for her. Not a
song about her. Like she played songs, and thought I was a good
songwriter, and wanted me to hook her up with a song. Sounds sexy to me.
Crap and crap. June third. Third entry of June. I'm batting
1.000! When it comes to quantity. Around the Mendoza line when it
comes to quality. That's pretty good. One out of five. With
this kind of quantity, that's a whole lot of Ones. Crap and crap.
Starting an entry with the purpose being stopping doing something else may not
be the best way to get into it. It may be, though. I'm not ruling
anything out at this point.
Time for new rules. New Rule-- I can't say the N
Word anymore. Crap and crap. I guess. What else.
Hittin' the first wall of the entry. Momentous occasion. What else
is crap. Too early to take a Ritalin. Just took my morning Ritalin
about two hours ago. Give it another hour at least. Or half an hour
at least. Half an hours pretty good. Man, I can't wait to
introduce myself to June Class. They're gonna know my name and
everything. I hope. Just give me that chance. Crap and crap.
Watched Lights Out last night. Pretty adequate movie. It's an
interesting premise, that the monster only exists when its dark. That's a
challenge to make a movie around and I respect that. Like my essay last
year How I learned to not be racist.
Crap and crap. Eighth paragraph. What else.
I accomplished nothing I meant to with these two weeks off. No fixing
guitar, no getting teacher, no new TV. I did go to two open mics.
That's a thing, right? Entryied it up a bit. Lost a few pounds
theoretically. Anyway, crap and crap. The good news is that its
Saturday. That's a relief. Crap and crap, I don't know. Moved
up in stakes because the stakes I was at there were no full tables. I will
keep myself updated on this situation as it progresses. Anyway, crap and
crap. Tim and Eric show is in six weeks. I wonder what that's gonna
be like. So much of their humor is based on editing. Can't edit a
That's how I feel. Ninth paragraph. Crap and
crap. Still gotta do readings for Monday Class. I can do that.
Probably. The longer I don't do it the less sure I am of saying I can do
it. Crap and crap. Part of my dream had my Brother turning on me.
Turns out he's evil. I Knew It! Anyway. When we were
kids we were pretty much adversaries. Now we're best buds. Until he
turns evil. In which case, I'm sure we'll be able to carry on our
relationship to some extent. Evil people need friends, too. Anyway,
what the what. That's what makes it an epic movie. Brother Vs
Brother! A story as old as time. When Adam was a dick to Seth.
Commentary. What else is going on. Google says
Seth was Adam's son. I'm not buying it. What else. I vaguely
remember liking Bible Stories in Hebrew School. Some of 'em, at least.
Captivating stuff. Brother Vs Brother, for example. Just like in the
Nick Show My Brother and Me. Epik. What else. Tenth paragraph.
Sweetness. I'm sick of having to go to YouTube for songs that aren't on
iTunes. There's got to be a better way! Sure. Anyway.
I'm pretty sure there was a part in my dream where I found my Metrocard. A
tale as old as time. What else is going on and crap.
11th paragraph. Gonna take second Ritalin soon.
How about that and whatnot. I don't know. How have I written 10
paragraphs. I don't remember a single goof-em-up. Crap and crap.
What else. Took the Ritalin. Better start working. Otherwise
my life is all for nothing. I guess. Crap and crap. What else.
Might eat some of the Kasha and Vanishkas when it gets here, but save primary
dinner for later. Sounds like a plan. Because it is one.
Whether it's good or not, who can say. But it most definitely qualifies as
That's what takin' the Ritalin was good for? You
bet! What else and crap. I don't know. 12th paragraph.
That's how that goes. What else is there to say. Already covered the
major topics of the day. Apparently Fox is getting away with calling a
show "The F Word," but I'd like to see them try making a show called, "The N
Word." I don't think they'd be so lucky. I guess. What else.
It is Fox, I wouldn't put it past them. Jeez. Crap and crap.
Alright, just had dinner. I had all of the dinner. How about that.
The Kasha and Vanishkas wasn't worth it. Live and learn.
13th paragraph. At least I will be finished with Peach
Snapple after this glass is done. So I've accomplished something today
outside of dreaming. What else. Met game starts soon. On
Fox. Whatta jip. At least it's titled The M Game on my
DVR Guide. What else and crap. People are gonna tune in thinking
it's The Match Game, aren't they. Damn, I knew Fox would be up to some
tricksies. Anyway. Crap and crap. A day and a half of nothing.
That's good. A Class after that! That's great. What else, crap
and crap. Wasted prime Ritalin-Kickin-In Time on eating dinner.
Crap and crap. I'd conservatively estimate I'm at
around 152 pounds. That's not bad. Relatively speaking. I have
uncles and cousins relatively speaking. That joke was brought to you by
the center of my brain that thinks like my Dad. Relatively speaking.
Jeez. This peach snapple is growing on me. Not literally. That would
be a cancer scenario. Jeez. I'm typin' stuff at least, that's good.
Movin' forward with the crap and whatnot. The Mets might win today.
That happens sometimes. At the very least, have 9 people on the field at
any given time when they're pitching. That's a lot of people. Sounds
like fun to me.
15th paragraph. Jeez it's warm in here. I like it
cold. Whatta jip. I don't have to think about dinner anymore, that's
the good news. That's all behind me now. What else. I've
needed to take Klonopins the last few nights. It all started with Leaving
Las Vegas. It depressed me to the extent I needed to take medication.
What else. Haven't drank since Open Mic, though, that's a plus.
Adultin' it up all over the place. I like how ESPN and FOX all have Met
games all the time because they anticipated they would be a good team and worth
watching. Jokes on them! I love when jokes are on things!
Makes me laugh. Bad part about having the Met game in the
background is I have the volume level above mute. I don't wanna hear this
crap! There seems to be no solution to this problem. Jeez.
16th paragraph. In a groove ever since I got back from dinner.
Powered up with energy and whatnot. How about that. I think it's
pretty impressive how quickly the body can lose weight or build muscle or
anything like that. A matter of months! The body is resilient and
whatnot. Also, judging by the last 25 pounds I've lost, it appears my body
will bounce back to appearing regular after losing weight as opposed to having
skin hang and whatnot. Score another one for Mikey.
17th paragraph. I spend a lot of time thinking how much
I'd like the Mets lineup if they had a great leadoff hitter. A Lot Of
Time. Anyway, what the what. I also spend a lot of time imagining
myself as the hitter in All Star Baseball 2003, as a left hander, and aiming the
bat all the way to the left, and hitting doubles down the line. A Lot Of
Time. Things are wrong with me I guess. I have some low level OCD,
but I was watching a freak show about people with OCD, and I'm way better than
them. Might be slight enough to not even be considered OCD. In your
face, Mental Problems!
18th paragraph. Jeez it's hot. Anyway. I
turned the temperature down from 74 to 73. Not in The World. In my
house. I don't have that power. Yet. Scary. One
of my main OCD things is seeing the time on my cable box, and then start
counting from 1 up until it reaches the next minute. That sounds pretty
OCD to me. And it's best if the number I end on is at or close to the last
digit of the hour/minute time. Or worse. I forget. It
definitely plays into the equation, though. Crap and crap. The Mets
just recorded an out! Against the other team! I could never do that.
19th paragraph. What the what. I keep track of
calories throughout the day, which is kind of OCD, and kind of a Responsible.
Who can say for sure. The Mets recorded two outs! I'm Goin' Crazy.
Jeez. I like the idea of writing 11 more paragraphs. It makes me
happy potentially. I'm just proud that I knew Seth was a thing in that
first family. He doesn't get a lot of press. Popular name though
these days. Let's talk about it. Apparently the Mets recorded a
third out. It's a commercial break. Or they had a pitching change.
It's baseball, you wouldn't understand.
20th paragraph. What the what. Not lookin'
forward to the anxiety crash in a few hours based on the last few days. I
can take a Klonopin, but I need to save those for times I want to abuse them!
Jeez. What else and crap. Reading for Monday. Gotta do it.
Gotta get in the habit of doing it, for Adult and Responsible and Non-Chump
reasons. I feel bad for Curtis Granderson. With Cespedes coming
back, he's the odd man out. With Lagares being the even odder man out.
Such is the Drama of Professional Sports. Having people you like get
21st paragraph. What the what. You know you're in
the zone when every paragraph starts with what paragraph you're at. I feel
like 50% of my paragraphs across all entries do that. My Phone alerted me
there were some sorts of terrorist car crashes in London. And when I went
to click on it it disappeared. What doesn't Samsung want me to know.
Issues. I have an iPhone. Samsung is a funnier word than Apple,
though. I crunched the numbers and everything. Pittsburgh Pirates.
Are there pirates in Pittsburgh? I thought it was landlocked. Learn
something new every day. Like what day it is. For example, I thought
it would be Monday today, turned out it was Saturday.
22nd paragraph. Jeez. Up 4 dollars on Poker as of
now. Playing at higher stakes, though, so that could fluctuate.
Unless I build a flux capacitor. It capacitates fluxing. I think as
a kid, I thought Flux Capacitor was a funny science sounding term that means
nothing. Now I get it. Anyway. Crap and crap. Pittsburgh
is a really unfortunate name. The town slogan is Pittsburgh-- It's The
Pits! Maybe that's where the term "The Pits" comes from. I
always thought it was armpits, but I guess it requires further research.
If you wanna learn something new every day, you're gonna have to put in the
23rd paragraph. How about that. What's going on.
Neil Walker hit a homerun. How about that. I'm thinking about
rebranding crazysheet datedmetsupdates.net. Sounds funny to me.
Crap and crap. You wanna see several single at bat results from the Met
game yesterday? And can put up with the 30 paragraphs of nothing?
Crazysheet.net's your place to go, friend. Anyway, what the what. No
one better make a "London Bridge Is Falling Down," joke. No one.
Ever. Because How Dare You. Anyway, crap and crap. The sun
never sets on the British Empire. Not if Gandhi has anything to say
about it! He negated a famous quote. Pretty impressive stuff,
all things considered.
The sun is right in my eye line in the position I'm sitting
right now. It better set sometime soon, or else... What else is
going on. I really hope to lose some weight in the ribcage area.
What else. Maybe I'll learn something this June Class. Literature
and Politics. Now, I already know those two things exist. And I know
the basic definitions of each word. So I don't know what else is there to
learn, but we'll see I guess. I just spent too much time in the sun.
Now my heart hurts. Those two things are connected. I've said this a
dozen times, but as a kid, I once looked at the sun for half a minute.
Nobody's gonna tell me what to do!
And what else. Are you allowed to look at the sun
if you're on Mars. Further away. Not as powerful. I guess
that's something we'll learn in the coming century. 25th paragraph.
Great. Different atmospheres come into the equation too I'm sure.
Because I'm a smart guy. What else. Just hit a wall. Just now,
right here. How about that. Let's counter that by doin' writin' and
stuff. I don't know. Five paragraphs to go after this more or less.
Or the same. Most likely neither more nor less. Crap and
crap. What else is crap. Still in the "Hitting The Wall" phase.
Not quite out of that nonsense yet.
26th paragraph. Nothin' like starting a new paragraph
to get the juices flowing. It's still too hot. Who would have
guessed that changing it one degree wouldn't have a noticeable impact. Not
me. I'm not good at guessing in general. Let's talk about it.
Up another 10 dollars in poker. Turns out playing at higher stakes is
paying off! Until I lose it. Then it's the opposite of paying off.
Paying on? Hmm. I've given myself a lot to think about. Crap
and crap. What the what. I don't know. I gotta get to 30
paragraphs, otherwise it'll be less. And then I'll look the fool!
27th paragraph. Jeez. Finished Peach Snapple.
See you in Hell Peach Snapple. Just took a Klonopin. Might as well
take it now, it's supposed to last 6 or 8 hours, it'll get me through till I go
to sleep either way. So I got that going for me. Is taking too many
Ritalin what makes me need Klonopin? Can't be. I only took the
prescribed twice a day. And that hasn't changed recently or anything.
So it's probably Leaving Las Vegas. That's my educated guess.
Anyway, crap and crap. Mets haven't gone to their bullpen yet.
That's a relief. No it's not.
Well, it got me to the next paragraph. It's got
that going for it. Three paragraphs to go. Guitar Teacher never
contacted me. Guess I'm no good as a potential student. Was it
crazysheet, did he find crazysheet. As good a guess as any. What
else. Paragraphs, huh. I don't know. On Klonopin, I really get
the feeling why am I doing this. Something I never ponder normally.
Oh well, it's good to get different point of views and whatnot. Crap and
crap. Apparently there was a Pro-Trump-Withdrawing-From-Paris-Accord Rally
where they said something like Paris Sucks, Pittsburgh Rules. I
guess climate change won't effect Pittsburgh. That's good to know.
Anyway, penultimate paragraph. Jeez. I do feel
more confident about my ability to relax when the entry is done, now that
Klonopin has already started kicking in. So there's positives and
negatives to everything. Except zero, I hate it so much. Is
zero positive? Or negative? I don't know. Usually I know easy
math stuff like that but my mind is just not in it right now. Because I'm
feeling sleepy, very sleepy. A good chance the reason I get anxious is
from smoking a lot of cigarettes in a row. But, again, that's not
something that changed recently. Another guess is from abusing drugs on
Monday muckin' up the rest of my week. Probably a pretty good guess.
Anyway, 30th paragraph. What the what. One
paragraph to go. I can do that. Probably. On Klonopin, though,
we're in uncharted waters. Jeez. I'm glad that dream is over.
It was scary. Even with the occasional sexiness and the occasional Steve
Martin. What else is going on. I see leadoff hitters on other teams,
and just think, why can't the Mets have that. We deserve good things.
I guess. Crap and crap. Words and stuff. Almost done.
Yeesh. Words, huh. Lemme at 'em! Huh. I'll see ya later.
Friday, June 2, 2017
Another Worthless Entry
For you, to read. I get a lot of
out it. Kills time, makes me feel good. That's two things. Two
is a lot. Let's talk about it. Had salad for dinner last night!
Healthy. Is what I am. Most likely a bison burger tonight. You
know it's healthy because it's an endangered species. Or used to be at
least. I use all of the bison burger. Anyway, crap and
crap. Let's see how this entry goes. Usually takes a paragraph or
two to start enjoying writing it. Then, by the end, I'm havin' fun and
whatnot. So let's get to that point. Two readings for Monday Class.
Maybe do one tonight, one tomorrow. Be a real Adult about it.
2nd paragraph. That was quick. Nesquick. I
don't think I've ever had a glass of milk without additive. That'll show
my bones whose boss. I'm pretty glad I have bones. You're a guy
without bones, you've got problems. Maybe not do Open Mic this Monday, but
possibly at least one Monday over the next month. Then, when July-August
class starts, probably can't do it legit, class starts at 10 AM instead of 1 PM.
That's no good. I was just watching outtakes of Ricky Gervais making
strange sounds as Mr. Stokes. Possibly one of my favorite things in life.
Just made a bad call on the river. I gave it thought, though, which is an
improvement. Legitimate thought. Not just waiting to call for a few
seconds to give the illusion I'm thinking.
Anyway, what the what. You can get a mushroom and onion
burger at Bell Diner. You can get a Bison burger. I'm conflicted as
to order "A Mushroom and Onion Burger But With Bison Burger Instead of
Hamburger," or, "A Bison Burger With Mushroom and Onion." Jeez, that's a
tough one. Startin' to get a very thin stubble on my face. I like
stubble. I'm a fan of stubble. It's even a funny word when you think about
it. Stubble. Seems like a made up word-- let's talk about it.
Mets haven't lost yet today. I get to watch them lose later!
Alright! It's still possible they get on track and compete. Who
knows. I like how I said after the first or second game of the season,
I don't care if they lose, I know they got a good starter going the next day.
Oh How I Was Wrong.
Anyway, fourth paragraph. Not sure why they don't just
bench Jay Bruce every other month. He's a tried and true proven extremely
streaky player. Just ride out his streaks, sit him for five weeks, then
he's back in action. I should be a manager. I'd have to learn signs,
though. That sounds difficult. I had a dream I was catching up on
Kimmy Schmidt after only having watched the first season in real life. I
remember thinking, this is good, but I haven't seen the parts people
referenced on Facebook yet. Gotta dream about something. I also
dreamt Woody Allen cast me in a movie and I was doing a good job acting but I
was self conscious about it. Then there was a stand-up show where the
conceit was 100 Best Crazysheet Jokes and each joke a new person went up
to tell it.
Now that's what I call Dreamin'. Good stuff. I
believe the 100 Best Crazysheet jokes also included crazysheet.com jokes.
Seems like it would. I thought about posting the Save Global Warming
article-joke I wrote for crazysheet.com on Facebook in real life, but didn't.
Some things should stay in the past. Like that thing, presumably.
The premise of the thing is that it's pro-global warming. Whatta goofball
I was. Anyway, crap and crap. Now That's What I Call Dreamin' Volume
20. Jeez. Gonna take a restroom break soon. I like how they
got rid of Kathy Griffin. Freedom Of Speech? NOT ON MY CHANNEL!
Sixth paragraph. See, now I'm in the zone, having fun.
That's fun and whatnot. It wasn't quite Woody Allen who cast me. It
was like Woody Allen crossed with someone else who I can't put my finger on.
Someone old. I'm not a fan of the On This Day app on Facebook,
where it shows you your previous activity on that day of the year in previous
years on Facebook. I see posts from 2010 or 2011 and am reminded, Oh
Yeah, I used to be Really Crazy. Who needs it. What else and
crap. I used the restroom. Adult! What else is going on.
I watched Leaving Las Vegas last night. Real depressing movie. Kinda
made me want to drink, though. I may have missed the point.
Seventh paragraph. Especially depressing that Wikipedia
told me the guy who wrote the book it was based on killed himself two weeks into
the production starting on the movie. That's no good. It spoiled
the ending that he survives in the movie. Whatta jip. Anyway,
crap and crap. I kind of don't know how it ended. The last 15
minutes I took a nap. Heard it in the background a little bit, that's all.
Do they ever leave Las Vegas? Some things we're just not meant to know.
Nicolas Cage won Best Actor at the Oscars for that movie. I wonder what
he's like in real life. I'd like to pick his brain.
Not really. Except for the taking a nap part. I
watched What's The Worst That Could Happen? starring Martin Lawrence and Danny
Devito. Not really sure why that's the title. There's never a thing
where what's the worst that could happen is a prevalent theme or
anything. I want my money back is the point. What else, eighth
paragraph. I wonder how good friends Martin Lawrence is with Danny Devito
in real life. Very good friends? Best friends? Who can say for
sure. Anyway, what else is going on. I was thinking about seeing a
movie this weekend but the best option is Wonder Woman, and that scares me.
Powerful women frighten me. That's my deal.
Ninth paragraph. Maybe I could see it. Face my
fears and whatnot. I'd probably be pleasantly surprised at how scary it
isn't. Anyway, crap and crap. I can't remember the last time I saw a
movie in Theater. Possibly Ghostbusters. Another scary movie.
They're all women! I Gotta Get Out Of Here! Wonder Woman's power
should be she's a philosopher. Let's talk about it. Crap and crap.
I saw a trailer for Wonder Woman and it didn't particularly interest me.
That's another thing. Anyway. Threw out my old pants that I wore for
years when I was more overweight. They had tears and all all over the
place. End of an era I guess.
10th paragraph. I guess. It was cool when Woody
Allen cast me in a movie. As the star. I was like, Hey, looks
like I found my calling. I'm not a Complete Chump after all.
Anyway, crap and crap. Hey, someone's giving a free speech! Let's
go! Sounds like a fun and cheap way to spend an afternoon. I
guess. Jeez, what else is crap. I don't know. Losin' money in
poker today. Still got time to turn it around, though. And still a
few dollars left until I go back down to 1/2 cents. Crap and crap.
What else. Hit a wall here and whatnot. Let's power through it.
Power through it hardcore.
11th paragraph. What the what! How exciting.
I could see Baywatch if being entertained isn't part of the equation.
Guardians of the Galaxy II. I never saw the first one, I wouldn't know
what's going on. Also, I don't remember voting for who should be the
guardians of the galaxy. These people are operating outside of the law!
Let's get 'em! Huh? Wha? Crap and crap. Still got some
paragraphs to go. On the plus side, that's fun. On the minus side,
who needs it. I don't know, crap and crap. At first I thought the
Dream Show was top 10 crazysheet jokes. And I was like, Hey, that's
pretty good, they like 10 of my jokes. Then it turned out to be top
100 and I was very, very pleased.
12th paragraph. I remember one of them, the guy on
stage was going through some complicated riff or something, but I don't remember
the content. Pretty sure it wasn't actually anything I said in real life.
Anyway, what the what. The point is it's the 12th paragraph. If only
Wonder Woman came out last year, Hillary Clinton would have won. That's my
theory. Crap and crap, I don't know. Eat dinner when it gets here or
wait a few hours. Probably wait a few hours. To lose weight.
Gotta read one of the two things for class tonight. Alright. I'm
okay at reading. I know all the letters.
13th paragraph. Wow. I like how Trump says that
America is the most environmental country and everything. Very Orwellian.
And by that I mean he's good at writing books. Even if he has
ghostwriters. All the better, shows he's not scared of no ghosts.
Jeez. Paragraphs to go. Plenty of 'em. Even if I stop at 20.
Whatta jip. Man, I don't need to worry about poker. Even if I have
to go down to 1/2 cents, I still got plenty of bankroll to make that last,
that's what counts. It's all good is the point. Most things at
least. I'm sure there's some bad out there, I don't know.
14th paragraph! Alright! Anyway, what the what.
Woke up at 5 AM with a bad headache. Lied in bed for 15 minutes before
getting up to take an Advil. I don't have time to get out of bed as soon
as I'm in pain! That's for chumps! Anyway, jeez. If I play at
this rate for another 3 or 4 months, I get another 10 dollar bonus! That's
someting to look forward to. Just try to break even for several months,
then I increase my bankroll exponentially! Which is a word I love using in
15th paragraph. Love deez short paragraphs. What
the what. I just figured out I don't need to know how to order my bison
burger with mushroom and onion. My Dad's placing the order! It's all
on him! That's good news if I ever heard it. Let's see, what else is
crap. They have Pet Cemetary and Pet Cemetary II on TV all the time, and
the mother's sister Zelda doesn't scare me really much anymore. That was
one of the memories of scaredom from movies from my youth. Now I realize
she was just sick, nothin' to be scared of.
So the point is I'm growing up. I wanna watch The Gate.
Why don't they show that every other day. The Gate II. I haven't
seen that in a dog's age, but I remember liking it that one time I saw it as a
child. I like scary movies. They scare me and whatnot. Pretty
sure I said it here before, but my favorite part of Child's Play III is when
Chucky finds Andy at the military school and sees he's got girlie mags, and he's
like How you've grown. It's a real bonding experience, it just
really warms the heart.
Weird things make me happy is the point. 17th
paragraph. That makes me happy. Great. Probably gonna go for
25 or 30. Why not. I got nothin' else to do. I haven't had
pasta in three months. Since I started my diet. Missin' out and
whatnot. I've had rice. Rice is like pasta. I guess. I
miss having great metabolism. You don't know what you've got till it's
gone. Except for in many circumstances. I know a bunch of stuff I
got that isn't gone. Fingers, for instance. Hair. Notebooks.
Those are the three things I saw or felt immediately. I was losing my
hair for a few months several years ago. Not naturally, because of some
disease or something. They injected something in my head and I've been
better ever since.
Issues. Crap and crap. One thing I liked abuot
Open Mic that I didn't fully process was that I was around people my own age.
I'm used to my peers being eight years younger than me. People in their
20's, 30's is great. I'd like to do it more often. Anyway, crap and
crap. Also, a large percentage of people at Open Mic are pretty girls.
That's something I can get on board with. Unless they're too powerful.
Then I run out of the room screaming. I can't handle that. When I
was acting in my dream, my conciousness went from Okay, Act! and then
after I acted. And I got good feedback, I was told my acting was good.
But I didn't remember it. Also, in dreams, instead of saying Action!
the director says Okay, Act!
Jeez. 19th paragraph. That's how we do.
I don't know. I like dreams that are positive. I'm good at acting,
I'm good at crazysheet. Not just that I'm good at acting, but I'm worthy
of being cast with no previous experience. That's great for the ol'
self-esteem. Let's keep these positive dreams goin'! That's how I
feel. I remember my brother and I used to quote, or at the very least
enjoy, the line in The Gate where the kid sees his parents, who turn out to be
monsters in disguise, and they go You've Beeeen Baaaaad! Maybe it
was just me. I don't know why I'm dragging my brother into this. We
used to watch movies together and enjoy the same parts.
20th paragraph. The Gate is similar to Encino Man.
Both come up after someone digging a hole in their yard. Anyway, what the
what. When I was a kid, I never knew what Encino was, so I just figured it
had something to do with cave men. That's how I felt. Now I know
it's a place. Most likely in California. And a suburb or something.
You pick things up as you go along in life is the point. What else is
crap. I love pointing out plot holes in Encino Man. The point is
what else. June 2nd. I can dig it. Crap and crap. Might
use Swimming Pool this summer now that I'm less overweight. Not as much to
be embarrassed about. And by end of summer, I'll be in normal BMI range.
So I got that going for me.
21st paragraph. Whatta joy. I think baseball
teams, with no one on base, should punt the catcher and make him a fourth
outfielder. You don't need him. Make the umpire throw the ball back.
That's what they're there for. Jeez, what else is crap. I don't
know. When making a list of my favorite movies, how heavily do I skew the
list towards movies that were my favorite as a child. I don't know, that's
why I'm asking you. E-mail your answers to 1-917-THISISAPHONENUMBER.
Crap and crap. What else. I don't know. Makin' up some ground
in poker. I got that going for me and whatnot.
22nd paragraph. Poker, Met Games, Paragraphs, What's On
TV. Every entry is a snowflake. No response from Guitar Teacher
after second time I contacted him yesterday. So I got that to look forward
to when it happens. I still have to finish the Peach Snapple Bottle.
Jeez, just my luck. Anyway, what the what. I could pour it down the
sink. No one would be the wiser. Except me. I'm the only one
wiser in that situation. Unless Peach Snapple Residue accumulates in the
sink and I can't get rid of it. Then I'm in for a world of trouble.
23rd paragraph! Alright! I wrote a poem for some
poem website two years ago because my professor told us to, and now when you
google my name that piece of crap comes up. Whatta jip. Anyway.
I don't know. What the what. Crap and stuff, I would imagine.
Two and a half paragraphs to 25. Seven and a half to 30. Let's see
how it goes and whatnot. I've hit a second wall this paragraph.
Power through it and whatnot potentially. I guess. Let's see, what
else is going on. Crap and bullshit. Whatta jip. I don't know.
The more transitional phrases I say, the closer I get to saying something that
isn't a transitional phrase. That's my guess.
24th paragraph. Jeez. Just don't know. Not
eating dinner now though it has been delivered. That's a decision I will
stand by. In case I ever have to stand. I hope not. I'd go
through the rest of my life sitting happily. There must be some number of
people who ride around in wheelchairs who don't really need them. I'm not
saying there's a lot. But some. Gotta be. Sounds like a plan
to me. Anyway, what the what. I don't know. Lookin' forward to
class on Monday. I hope we go around the room saying our names and crap
about ourselves. Saying our names, that's great. Crap about
ourselves? Even better!
25th paragraph. Let's see how it goes. What the
what. I don't know. Despite having nothing to say and having hitten
a big wall I still feel like going for 30 paragraphs. Because I'm a Chump
and everything. I could take a Ritalin. That'll get the juices
flowing. And I'm pro-juices flowing as long as it's not Peach Snapple.
Unless it's flowing down the sink. Then good riddance. What else is
crap. Let's work around walls. Walls can't go on forever.
Gotta stop somewhere. Jeez, what else and crap.
Five paragraphs to go for some reason. Let's do it
hardcore. You know, like that porn I sometimes watch. Crap and crap.
Hackers hacked into Chipotle. Just like Chipotle hacks into our colons. Commentary.
What else is crap. Heh. I don't know. What the what.
Met game starts soon. That'll happen. Entry ends soon.
Hopefully. Five paragraphs, I can do that. What else is crap.
I don't know. Man is this pointless. Crap and crap. Just won a
coinflip to get me more or less back to even on the day. Alright!
Everything's coming up Mikey, even with the four paragraphs left to write for
27th paragraph! Now I'm happy. I was upset about
losin' in poker. Now I'm back on top! Crap and crap.
Man, didn't see a "Crap and Crap" coming that soon. I figured being
on top would last me at least a few sentences. Whatta jip. Being on
top. Who needs it. Issues. The first song I wrote on
the guitar, compared to the few I came up with the tunes and later transcribed
to guitar, there's a lyric that goes, "If you're gonna be alone you might as
well be alone at the top/well I'm so fuckin' lonely think I'm gonna be an
astronaut." And I haven't reached that quality level of lyric since!
28th paragraph. Wow. Lyricing is hard. What
do you talk about? Nobody knows. Turned the channel to the Met game.
That's how that goes. Three paragraphs to go? That's not so bad.
Not nearly as bad as finishing it and having no crap to do. Might as well
enjoy it while it lasts. I've got a few episodes of Rocko's Modern Life
recorded on my DVR. So I got that going for me. What else. Two
and a half paragraphs to go. I got that going for me as well.
Wonderful. Matt Harvey is pitching today. Maybe he does good today,
you don't know.
Penultimate paragraph! Alright! What's going on
and crap. I think I smoked too many cigarettes in a row. Gettin'
light headed. Jeez. I don't have to walk to the back of Queens
College Campus ever again to get to Science Building. That's a win anyway
you look at it. Unless you look at it in terms of wins being losses.
In which case I pity you for not understanding such basic concepts as winning
and losing. Crap and crap. What else is there to say.
Last paragraph! I got that to say. Blew my load
saying it already. Now I have nothing to say again. Whatta jip.
I don't know, crap and crap. It's officially Weekend. Friday night,
that's official. Crap and crap. Maybe I will do Open Mic on Monday.
It's something worth considering. See how it goes without 3 or 4 of
Ritalin and Klonopin each. Maybe just one! It's crazy enough it just
might work. I'll keep myself updated on this situation as it progresses.
One or two more paragraphs. No reason not to.
Well, there are lots of reasons not to. I meant, "No Reason," as a
colloquialism more than anything else. Let's see, crap and crap. I
get to eat dinner in an hour or two! Talk about High Fives. Huh?
Anyway, crap and crap. I played most my chord-heavy songs at Open Mic
already. Those are the easiest and the best considering my current
inclination towards calling my music "Light Punk." I'll Punk You!
That's the kind of crap we get from 31st paragraphs. Punk is a verb
these days. And by these days I mean a decade ago. 2007 is still
these days to me. Partly because I haven't had a social life since 2007.
32nd paragraph. What the what. This'll be it most
likely. If I didn't get into the 30th paragraph, I'd never incorrectly
reconsider doing Open Mic on Monday. Crap and crap. But what if
correctly. I've given myself a lot to think about. What else
is crap. A paragraph to go. Let's do it! What else is going on
and crap. Mets just took a lead on a Lucas Duda home run. I assume
most of you read this for dated Mets updates. Crap and crap, let's see.
I'm drinking the 10 calorie Iced Tea + Lemonade Snapple compared to the 5
calorie Lemon Iced Tea Snapple. Is it worth the 100% increase in calories?
Yes. Is it worth writing a 33rd paragraph? No. But will it
Thursday, June 1, 2017
It's June! Get A Load Of That Crap!
Here we go, entry time. New
month. Well, not completely new. We've had Junes for at least a few
decades. But it's a tried and true month, I guess. Did Open Mic on
Monday. Went pretty well. Got some good comments and everything.
May or may not do it next Monday. I got school next week. Class
starts at 1:00, so I could probably do it, but I would have to argue with my
parents about it, and who needs that. Not me. Maybe someone else.
I haven't polled people extensively. Crap and crap. Officially got a
B in Environment. Alright! Gonna get a new TV even if I get
guitar/vocal teacher! Alright! Gonna fix my electric guitar at some
point probably! Wow!
2nd paragraph. Doin' pretty good in poker. Did
end up getting that 10 dollar bonus! Everything's comin' up Mikey.
Movieworld Douglaston isn't closing! Wow! Lots of excitements so far
this entry. I was re-doing some of the lyrics for one of the songs I
played on Monday, and I can't remember how well that went. I know I didn't
remember all of them. Can't remember if I remembered at least one verse.
Either way, it went relatively smoothly, I remember that much. Anyway,
what the what. Got reading assignments for first day of class on Monday.
I'll read those, sure. Pot committed to the whole thing at this point.
Crap and crap. I don't know what I'm doing for dinner
tonight. Should get something healthy. For Strategy Reasons.
These entries are crap. I try to read them sometimes and I just can't.
It's 95% bullshit. And 5% the good kind of bullshit. Oh well, kills
time and whatnot. For me and for you. That's good news. Time,
who needs it, am I right? Most of the times I listen to my songs I like
them. That's good. It's good to be entertained by something
you do that's supposed to be entertaining. Jeez. Call up
Guitar/Vocal teacher. I can do that right now instead of delaying!
Hey! I'm a do it! Well, I didn't call. I filled out the form
on the website again. We'll see how that goes.
Anyway, fourth paragraph. I moved up in Poker Levels,
but if I lose one buy in, back to the previous level. I feel like that's
not too irresponsible. Crap and crap. I should get a salad or
something for dinner. That's a Healthy. Crap and crap. I have
recurring dreams that I somehow build up my poker bankroll to in the millions of
dollars by doubling up over and over and over again within several hours, then
blow most of it. What does it mean. Who can say for sure. It's
June. We've covered that topic already. Sweet. What kind of
movies have I watched recently. The mediocre kind, probably. Oh, I watched
The Caveman's Valentine. That's a scary movie for people with histories of
mental illness. I can relate and then I get scared of relating and then I
watch the rest of the movie and then I watch another movie.
It's a whole thing, is the point. I wish I was good at
the piano like The Caveman's Valentine's Valentine. AKA The Caveman.
Anyway, crap and crap. I like how Trump's approval rating is up seven
points or so in a week. All it takes is one week without huuuge scandals
and people are back on board. And by saying I like it, I mean I don't like
it. Weird how words work and whatnot, huh. It's a weird movie
because I don't know exactly what's really happening and what's his fantasy.
That movie I was just talking about. Remember? Anyway, crap and
crap. My stomach hurts. Probably from drinking Peach Snapple.
That's my educated guess.
Sixth paragraph. What the what. Class next week.
Work. Gettin' up relatively early. But being around people!
And talking-- AKA forcing people to listen to me! Gotta take the bad with
the good. Hey, maybe even learning crap! That's what school's
supposed to do, right? You never know. I just hope my stomach
doesn't hurt anymore by Monday. I'll cut out Peach Snapple and everything,
I'll take all necessary measures. What else is crap. Mets lost
today. That'll happen. Great, what else.
Seventh paragraph. Due to take my second Ritalin within
the next 5 or 10 paragraphs. For Strategy Reasons. Typing Covfefe
is the smartest thing Trump's ever done. Keeps our mind off the issues.
Also, gives him power. We don't know what it means or why he said it.
Only he knows. Power. We need a WikiLeaks for what it means.
Anyway. I'm a nonsense man. I can see the sense in nonsense like
nobody else. Also, my stomach hurts. These are the real
issues. Jeez, crap and crap. Wearing my Bernie shirt, people can no
longer go too late for that, huh? Cause I can say it's for 2020.
Anyway, crap and crap. What the what. Just took a
Ritalin. That'll kick in eventually one would imagine. I don't know.
Eighth paragraph. Imagine if we get to some goofballs or funnybones
eventually. That'll make it all worthwhile. I don't know.
Let's get movin' with it. I don't know, crap and crap. Whattado with
the rest of my night. I'll figure out something, believe you me. And
by that I mean You-- Believe Me. Crap and crap. Just heard
some people talking outside my window. Socializing! Alright!!
Ninth paragraph. That's how I do. I like how
Trump teases his big decisions. Tune in tomorrow at 3! I'll tell
ya how I'm gonna run the country! This isn't reality TV anymore.
Just do what you're gonna do, you don't need to make it a TV Event. Whatta
jip. Anyway, crap and crap. Muckin' it up in poker. Just gotta
start playing right. I don't care if I win, just play right, that's the way to
go. If I lose a few more dollars, made a pact with myself to move back to
1/2 cent. Gotta honor pacts. Not honoring pacts is what got me into
trouble in the first place. In Poker and in Life.
10th paragraphizzle. Shizzle. My wizzle. In
Salad, with Salad Dressing, you Drizzle. Sorry about all that.
And by about all that, I mean This Paragraph and My Life. I updated my
Twitter Photo to the one I took after New Pornographers show and I like it next
to my Tweets. This is a guy who writes silly tweets, is what the
photo says. Take another headshot in a month or two when I've lost another
significant amount of weight. That'll keep people on Facebook knowing I
lost weight. That's important and whatnot. I shaved before Monday
Open Mic. Alright! Shaving is the pits. I got an electric
shaver for my birthday a year or two ago, and it's still too hard. Shaving
makes me feel like a chump, is the point. No good at it.
Anyway, 11th paragraph. Shouldn't there be a button on
my phone that just deletes porn history. Every time I delete all
history, gotta re-enter passwords and not have bookmarks saved and everything.
Let's get some scientist engineers working on that one. What's that new
fad kids are doing. Twiddle fits? Something like that. In my
day, we had no twiddle fits. We could either play Tamagotchi or nothin.
Anyway, crap and crap. 11th paragraph still. How about that.
We could either listen to My Name Is or nothin'. Don't know
what the point of that was, other than coming to the verge of being an
12th paragraph. How about that. I think I've been
singing better these last two open mics. I just sorta go for it.
Sounds good to me. I'm starting to look forward to June Class. Doing
stuff is great in theory. In theory. I lost my Metrocard, though, so
I need to get a new one before Bus Ride there. Gotta do some extra walking
to get one. Great, just great. At least I didn't lose my credit card
or ID. That would be a real chump move is how I feel. I don't know,
crap and crap. Wouldn't know what songs to play next open mic. I
could play the one with the word, "Sidewalk," in it. That'll get people
13th paragraph. I forget the words to some of my songs
and I'm too lazy to listen to the mp3s I have of them. That's how that
goes. Anyway, crap and crap. I may be losing money in poker, but I'm
writin' an entry! And it's entertaining enough-- to me. To you?
Sorry about that. Anyway, what the what. I don't know. Crap
and crap. First instinct for dinner is a salad with grilled chicken.
That would be the Adult thing to do. Second instinct is some crap that's
not that. I haven't narrowed it down, yet. The word Pizza
came to mind but I'm not really feelin' that. I'll keep you updated on
this situation as it progresses.
I have some fried egg left over from when I got steak and
eggs two days ago. I could make a sandwich with that and crap, not really
enough for a dinner, though. These are the days of my lives.
Memories that will last a life time. A short life time, at least. If
I die tomorrow, I'd still remember it probably. I hope I don't die
tomorrow. I have so much left to do. June Class. Say the word
Sidewalk at the Sidewalk Cafe. Get my guitar fixed. Such is life, I
guess. I don't know, 14th paragraph. What the what. I overdid
it on the alcohol a bit at Open Mic. Had the same amount of beers as last
time, but also did a shot of whiskey right before my song. Didn't need
that shot. Didn't muck me up or anything, but could have gone without it.
Anyway, crap and crap. I'm relatively certain the
bartender said the whiskey was on the house. I hope so. Otherwise I
didn't pay for it and am a jerk. Also, if something's on the house, do you
still tip the bartender? In retrospect, you probably do. But I
didn't. Hey, it's on the house, I ain't paying crap for this!
Oh well, live and learn. I watched half of an episode of Big and Little,
which is the show about obese little people. Upset me too much.
Anyway, crap and crap. I don't know, crap and crap. Crap. Crap
and crap. Let's get to some funnybones. Some guy who liked my songs said I
sounded like Pavement and LCD Soundsystem. I like Pavement. I don't
know what an LCD Soundsystem is, though. Sounds expensive.
16th paragraph. One of the Allman Brothers died.
He's good at gender. Let's talk about it. I don't know. How
many paragraphs is this gonna be. God only knows. Probably some
angels. If God's anything like Donald Trump, he's gonna be bragging about
what he knows to some chumps up in Heaven. Why would God be anything like
Donald Trump? I don't know. Donald Trump came up with God.
Seems like something he'd say. Anyway, what the what. I don't know.
A little after 6 PM as of now. You can take that to the bank. Don't
know what you'd do with it there.
Anyway, 17th paragraph. In addition to getting older
electric guitar fixed instead of new one cause I like it better, I should get
older acoustic guitar fixed too. The newer one is in good conditions, so I
don't need to get one of them fixed, but the older one is better.
These are the days of my guitars. Crap and crap. I get electric
guitar fixed, get into a new batch of songs. Sounds like fun to me.
Until I finish one and the only chords I can think of were the first one's.
What else is crap. I don't know. Crap, I guess. What the what.
18th paragraph. Let's do it hardcore. What else.
What alternative can I think of to salad. I don't know. That's a
tough one. Crap and crap. Guess that means I should get salad.
Alright! What else is going on. I think it's pretty impressive how
kids learn the alphabet. Imagine if someone gave you 26 weird designs and
told you to memorize what they're called and the order they're in. Imagine
It! Anyway, what the what. Apparently Trump is still working on the
alphabet. Let's see, I know, "Fe," means Iron. Cov could be short
for coven... I'll get back to you on this. What else.
Five out of seven letters are musical notes.
19th paragraph. Let's do it! My stomach has
calmed down. Better drink some more peach snapple. Show it whose
boss and whatnot. I don't like peach snapple. Dad got it because
they didn't have enough regular lemon snapple. Now he knows not to do it.
Can we agree that Samuel L Jackson is a good actor and shouldn't just be a
gimmick for when he yells and curses? I hope we can agree on that.
It's good to agree on things. Everyone goes home happy. What else.
I don't know. Can we agree that Peach Snapple is bad for the stomach?
Just take my word for it, okay? I have no motive to decieve you or
anything about peach snapple.
20th paragraph. Whatta bullshit. No one can read
this crap. Unless you're obsessed with me. If you are, Hey!
Way to be on board with me. I really like me, too! Another thing
we can agree on. Looks like I'll be getting grilled chicken salad.
Sweet. Healthy! Probably healthyness bleeds into tomorrow because
I'll only eat half of the salad tonight. Whatta joy. That'll get the
pounds sheddin'. The last three or four nights I haven't dieted well.
Around 1900/2000 calories each night. Which theoretically is still a
couple hundred below maintenance level, so it is dieting. But gotta get
back in the 1100-1500 zone. I wanna lose weight for strategy reasons,
we've covered this.
21st paragraph. Alright! Playin' good in poker
again. Not winnin' too much, but not losin' and playin' good. That's
great, just great. Probably no Open Mic next Monday, unless the way I feel
about it changes. Crap and crap. Three times in a row, though,
that'll show the regulars I mean business. Get involved in the community
and everything. And I have more than 4 songs. I've got a solid
DOZEN songs! Hundreds more if you count songs I don't know how to play
anymore. Anyway, what the what.
22nd paragraph. That's how that goes. I don't
know. What the what. No Met game tonight. They already lost.
Very efficient of them. The things I need to read for the first day of
class are relatively long. I should read them anyway. I got time and
whatnot. Crap and crap. That way I'll have more things to say to
force people to listen to me. Anyway, what the what. Made a chump
move in poker. Let's limit it to one chump move. Not get in a chump
mode and whatnot. Crap and crap.
23rd paragraph. Go for 30, I guess. That's one
way to go about things. I don't know, what the what. What kind of
movie can I watch tonight potentially. Gotta be something on.
There's literally dozens of channels. Is it the weekend yet. It's
Thursday. I'm used to that being my weekend during sessions of school.
Great. No more labs ever. That's cool. Gotta read stuff every
now and then, though. I can handle that. I learned how to read a
long time ago, at this point I'm pretty good I gotta say. What else.
24th paragraph. I'm diggin' these short paragraphs!
I guess. Gotta make sure I order dinner not too late. Early enough
that they will agree to make the food and deliver it to me. That sort of
crap. What else. I don't know. Jeez. I can get food
before I want to eat it. Salad don't need to be hot. Anyway, what
the what and whatnot. Crap and crap. Just won a big pot in poker.
I can stop after 25 paragraphs I guess. Not pot committed to the extra
five. Sounds like a plan. A good plan, not just any plan. One
that has merit and whatnot.
Last paragraph! Wow. I don't know. Crap and
crap. I'm sure something on TV will present itself to kill some time
tonight. It's bound to happen what with the scores of channels there are.
Anyway. Order food when this is done. Great. I don't know,
what the what. Another pointless entry. Put that in the pointless
entry pile. Great. Few more sentences to go. That's how that
crap goes. I guess I'll see ya later. Forget those extra sentences.
Who needs 'em.