Thursday, January 28, 2016

Let's Talk About It

    Hey friends.  Been a while.  Roughly some days.  I wanna say in-between two and four hundred.  Not two hundred and four hundred.  Two period and four hundred.  I can see how you might get confused.  Numbers are confusing.  37.  What does it mean?  Let's talk about it.  Either way, Spring Semester starts next week.  Fiction Workshop and possibly Poetry Workshop.  I have until tonight to decide.  May end up just with the Fiction.  I can't handle two classes over a semester.  I'm not Iron Man.  Irony Man, maybe.  Not sure what qualifies me to be Irony Man, either.  Pun Man, maybe.  That's me.  Either way, what's up.  Mets resigned Cespedes.  Re-signed.  Not resigned.  I can see how you might get confused.  That guy can hit thirty homeruns.  I couldn't do that.  Even if I was really hot and in the zone. Mets Resigned To Cespedes.  That's no good.  Sending out the wrong message about the whole thing.  I was just watching Any Given Sunday.  There's no reason why I don't follow Football.  It seems great.  All the passing and the running and so on.  Lotta fun one would imagine.  In Middle School, we would play Football during Recess, people from my class against an amalgamation of other classes.  And the best player by far was this Asian kid in our class.  Shuckin' and jiving all over the place.  Honestly, if it was him versus everyone else, he'd probably win.  Is shucking and jiving a racist phrase.  It's an Asian guy doing it, though.  Can't be racist if Asians are involved.  Oh, how he'd pivot one way, confuse the defense, go the other way.  The point is some people are good at things.
    I remember I once knocked one guy over while playing defense and simultaneously felt bad that I accidentally hurt him against the rules, and proud that Yeah, You don't mess with me.  That's great, just great.  I motivated myself to write this entry in hoping it would somehow help clarify my feelings about whether or not to take the poetry class.  Taking it could go either way.  I could love it, or I could hate it.  I guess I could be nonplussed about it.  Can't rule anything out at this point.  The point is what else.  Goin to a Casino to play Poker Tournament with my Uncle next month.  I only have thirty days to buy Sunglasses!  Jeez.  I might have to just wear my regular glasses, though.  You know, to see and crap.  I literally only have one Contact Lens left.  Not a pair.  Just one.  And, taking into account how that's an old prescription, might not enable me to see enough.  And I'm not buying a prescription pair just for this crap.  I guess I could just hold my hands over my eyes.  Still wouldn't be able to see, though.  That's not a good solution at all.  The point is Hey It's 2016 What's Up With That And Bullshit.  Two weeks since my last entry.  That hardly ever happens.  I blew my proverbial load last month. 
    Great, just great.  Poetry is too wide a net.  Think of all the combinations of bullshit that you can write into just one poem.  I don't like it.  I need some guidelines and crap.  I guess having to write a Villanelle is a guideline.  Gotta follow the format.  But think of all the different words one can use.  There's literally dozens of words.  How am I supposed to narrow it down to the right words.  I don't know.  The point is what else and crap.  There was a lot of snow last week.  Great, just great.  Still in middle school, we had a classmate who would randomly chant, Defense, Defense! during our Physical Education.  Which made us laugh.  Us being me and one other guy.  Still, that's multiple people laughing at nonsense.  Not too bad for that jokester.  So, yeah, Middle School was some formative years.  I learned all about chanting nonsense for no reason.  Most people don't learn that until their twenties.  What else.  Fiction Workshop shouldn't be too difficult.  You need to arrange the words into logical sequences of sentences and paragraphs.  That should narrow it down a little bit.  I'm no good at coming up with fiction, though.  My two fictions last class, Homeless People and People Who Run Breakfast Carts, blew my load again with that crap.  Writing about Homeless People has been a lifelong dream of mine.  One of my only lifelong dreams.  Cart People, a logical next step to take.  Now I'm back at square one.  Which is a phrase for some reason.  Not sure why.  Let's talk about it.
    What else and crap.  Haven't made much progress in becoming an Adult so far.  Been a month and a half since that lifelong dream of mine.  I've more or less spent this entire month re-watching shows on HBO that I've already seen and don't particularly enjoy watching again.  But once I watch that first episode again, I'm committed.  We finish what we start here.  That's been a rule since, I don't know, three weeks ago.  And I guess I can never stop following that rule.  It's a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Except not really a prophesy.  Pretty self-fulfilling, though.  You can't take that away from it.  Fortune Cookies are a Fulfilling Prophesy.  Get it?  Because it's words and crap.  That's how I feel.  Great, just great.  My uncle suggested taking me to a shooting range before going to Poker.  That's no good.  You don't want me with a gun.  There's got to be some law against people like me using guns.  And if there's not, well, ...USA!  USA!  USA!  What else and crap.  Why do people like guns so much.  Get some ninja stars.  That'll get the job done.  Either way, what else and crap.  I started watching Beverly Hills Ninja, but felt too guilty to finish it.  Making it an exception to the rule.  Because I read or heard somewhere he hated making that movie and that it was beneath him and crap like that.  Now, without that knowledge, I probably would have enjoyed it for its sentimental value, even if it's pretty much crap, but, yeah.  Words and crap, that's all that sentence is.
    What else and crap.  The point is, doesn't matter how poor the script is or anything.  If you like that actor, you're probably gonna like the movie.  Except if you are that actor.  Then it's all shit and crap and what else.  I like the part where he's fat and stupid.  I'm on board with that kind of crap.  I'm fat and stupid.  What is this, the fifth paragraph already?  Wonderful.  He was really good at physical comedy, too, though.  Not just being fat.  A fat guy who can maneuver and do cartwheels and crap one would imagine.  I remember my first Junior Year of college, someone brought a book of quotes from people about Chris Farley into our common room, and I was browsing through that.  It's relevant because I Don't Know For Some Reason.  That's how that goes.  I also remember playing guitar purposely un-tuned as shit and thinkin, Yeah, Deal With That!  I'm anti-establishment.  Notes are a thing of the past, man.  That's how I feel.  Not really.  Notes are great.  Music is all about the notes when you think about it.  DE-FENCE, DE-FENCE, DE-FENCE!  That's how I feel for some reason. 
    Right, right.  Let's see.  It always impresses me how snow ends up mostly with a flat surface.  You'd think it'd be all nonsense shaped, based on where the snow falls.  Ends up making a flat surface.  How about that.  Lots of things impress me.  Animals crossing the street correctly.  Snow falling in an aesthetically pleasing way.  Chanting Defense! over and over for no apparent reason.  Life is full of Great.  What else and bullshit.  I feel like I thought of two or three jokes that would belong in here over the last couple of weeks, that I now forget.  Thanks a lot, Obamacare.  What else and bullshit.  Whattado with my weekend.  Odds are, watching a show I've already seen.  Thinkin' possibly 30 Rock, or Kimmy Schmidt.  But with one of those, I'd have to watch on my Computer.  Like an Asshole.  I can watch Any Given Sunday ten more times.  Really catch all the things I missed the first time around.  I was watching a reality show about little people.  Really brought out the asshole in me.  Ha, I'm taller than these people.  What jerks.  That's me, I guess.  Most Little People reality shows deal with families.  I'm not an asshole at those.  They're families, I got no problem with families.  Watching Little People in their twenties, though, being jerks, that's what incites my assholeness. 
    Oh well, live and learn.  Finally, Some People I'm Better Than!  That's how I feel.  What else and crap.  Do they call abandoned houses where people do Heroin Shooting Ranges.  I feel like they do.  It would make sense and sounds like something I've heard somewhere.  I'm not coming up with anything new here.  But it sure does take up Paragraph Space.  And now that I'm into the seventh paragraph relatively easily, the Double Entry is within my grasp.  Can't all be gold, right?  What else and crap.  It's Actual Spring in less than two months.  That's great.  Winter is such bullshit.  Gets dark earlier, walking to get my liquor in the cold is no fun.  I think we can safely say Winter is the worst season.  Most people would agree with that.  Have there been other movies besides Groundhog Day where the main character is a meteorologist.  Just wondering.  Came up with that over the last couple of weeks.  Not one of the things I wanted to put in crazysheet, just something that really made me think.  One would imagine there's some Meteorologists in Twister or other movies like that.  Can't say for sure, though.  Right, right.  This paragraph is the pits.
    Let's start anew.  What else and crap.  If I just took one thirty minute walk a day, by the end of the year, I'd be ten pounds less than if I didn't.  Gotta get started on that once it gets warmer.  I don't like listening to music while I walk anymore, though.  That's a big part of taking walks.  I've listened to everything already.  Don't wanna get committed to some bullcrap like I did with T.V.  I've learned my lesson.  I don't know.  What else and crap.  I can listen to Podcasts.  There's an idea.  I'll take it all under consideration when March comes around.  March is a great month to start walking again.  Because of Puns.  Wonderful.  Who came up with March.  Hey, it's the third month of the year.  What do we call it?  I know-- MARCH!  That's the quality of crap I get to by the eighth paragraph.  Wonderful.  It's the August of paragraphs.  That's how I feel.  Anyway.  Under other circumstances, I might really enjoy a Poetry Class.  Why waste it when I don't think I would like it.  That's some logic for myself right there.  What else and crap.
    Hey, it's the ninth paragraph!  Wonderful.  I'm probably gonna eat food tonight.  I call it Dinner.  Just somethin' I came up with.  Dinner makes sense, because of Dining.  Breakfast makes sense, because of Breaking Fast.  Lunch?  Lunch is the March of meals.  No logic to it whatsoever.  Also, usually, if you're having Brunch, you're fooling yourselves-- you're just having breakfast at lunch.  Let's talk about it.  What else and crap.  Mets signed a guy named Bastardo.  Under other circumstances, I might really enjoy that name.  My heart just ain't in it right now.  Anyway, January just flew by.  Watching entire T.V. shows you've already seen really makes the days go faster.  On account of being filled with bullcrap and shit.  The point is what else.  My X-Box started working again.  The baseball game has an option where you create a player and then throughout the schedule you only play the plays your player is in.  And watch him grow and crap.  I'm impressed they let me make a player whose 5'2.  Good for them.  And they actually adjust the strike zone based on the height of the player.  Which is great.  Small strike zone.  That's why short people walk all the time.  That's how I feel.  They tell you the goal for each at bat, too.  Get on base.  Advance the runners.  Don't swing at any pitch out of the strike zone.  And you get points for doing what it says.  I like any mini-game where you can win points just for not pressing a button to swing for the entire at bat.  Really great.
    Alright, last paragraph.  We made it.  Of course, two thirds of the time I end up swinging at a pitch outside the strike zone.  I can't help myself!  I'm no good.  What else and crap.  Shouldn't we be calling hits strikes, not missing hits?  Strike the ball.  With the bat.  Let's talk about it.  They even let you take batting practice.  That's great.  No pressure.  Get points for striking the ball, it's all good.  And if you get enough points, your skill set goes up.  It's a lot of fun is all I'm sayin'.  Alright, I dropped the class.  Feel like I made the right decision.  If I didn't, I would have made the other decision.  That's logic and crap and whatever.  For Fiction, what's the next logical procession.  Homeless-->Breakfast Carts--> What.  I got some time to think about it I guess.  Homeless-->Breakfast Carts--> Irony Man.  That's one way to go.  Got some time to think about it.  What could have been one of those forgotten jokes over the past two weeks.  Probably a two thirds chance it was based on News.  Abe Vigoda?  I feel like one of them might have been about that.  Oh well, guess we'll never know.  See ya later.

-6:31 P.M.                   

Monday, January 11, 2016

We Can Be Titles Just For One Day

    Hey friends.  Here comes an entry.  Got nothin' better to do.  Watch the original The Karate Kid?  Sure, I guess.  It's what my T.V. is telling me to do.  And most of the time I try to do what my T.V. tells me.  T.V. is the longest relationship I've had in my life.  Also, only relationship.  Let's talk about it.  What's going on and crap.  I like the part where I read what's on channels.  My browsing is like this:  4-11, around 50/52, 121, 139, 161, 180, around 190, around 230, premium channels.  That's Me.  I like how the good channels tend to bunch up around each other.  Makes things more convenient for me-- the consumer.  Now all I need is a Commercial Channel that pays you 99 cents an hour to watch.  They'd have to have some sort of verification that you're watching it, otherwise you can leave the T.V. on and go do something else.  Maybe write a one page paper on what you learned from T.V.  That'll keep the consumer in line.  Either way, what else is going on.  New Doctor going, I'm not concerned about the drinking and doesn't even qualify it with something else.  Just flat out not interested.  The point is some doctors are full of shit.  That's how I feel.  I know their plan.  They want to lure me in, get me comfortable, then, when I least expect it, Bam, You're staying here.  I'm no rube.  I wasn't born yesterday.  I was born a bunch of days ago.  Thousands.  Tens of thousands. 
    For history's sake, I've written a one page paper every day on what I learned.  A memento to give my children one would imagine.  Either way, Daniel La Russo's original friends are real assholes.  He makes some friends right away, and they seem pretty chill.  Then he gets beat up and they're like, Fuck this guy.  You were just real chill a second ago!  Your friend got hurt by a semi-professional Karate Master-- and he was trying to defend a girl's honor!  And they're like, Whatta loser.  Daniel La Russo needs new friends.  I hear the old Asian guy in his apartment complex is pretty cool.  He should become best friends with that guy.  It's a good thing Mr. Miyagi's wife wasn't alive.  She'd be like, What kind of a grown man hangs around a teenage boy all the time?  It's not natural!  That's how I feel about things and crap and what else.  I've never seen Mr. Miyagi pissed off.  Pretty even keeled guy.  Anyway what else.  I don't spend all my time watching T.V.  Sometimes I watch HBO.  It's not T.V.  It's HBO.  Isn't the Box Office where you pay your ticket.  Home Box Office, that's the main part of the theater that you don't get.  I've never turned to that channel and have to give them some cash.  Not once.  Of course, I could be wrong about what Box Office means.  I know it's also a reference to how much money a movie makes.  Did you know Box Office comes from Shakespeare cause they would put money inside a box.  In a unregulated strip club, you can put money in a box.  Did you know Shakespeare was the first to call a vagina a box.  Learn something new every day.
    Imagine that.  Think outside the box.  I learned that from Taco Bell or some shit.  I'd much rather think about what's inside the box.  Gotta be something.  Otherwise why have the box.  Must be something inside.  Can't wait to find out what it is.  I could give a fuck about what's outside the box.  In history, there must be one guy who invented boxes.  I bet that guy's pretty proud of himself.  How did Mr. Miyagi know Daniel La Russo wouldn't go towards the dark side and use his Karate for evil?  I wouldn't take that kind of a risk.  I wonder if Mr. Miyagi ever got drunk and said, ....you know, the wrong guys won World War II.  Wait... forget I said that.  I'm drunk.  Just forget it.  Send his ass to an internment camp.  I don't care if they don't exist anymore, start a new one just for this one guy.  Okinawa is like Japan.  I challenge you to prove me otherwise.  The point is Mr. Miyagi is an asshole probably.  Don't trust him.  Not a bit.  What kinda scam is he pulling.  Next time I get my blood taken, I'm gonna exclaim, Oooh, that brings me back.  Let them figure it out.  How do we know Mr. Miyagi isn't gonna pull an Apt Pupil and get Daniel La Russo worshiping Emperor Hirohito.  We don't know.  Can't take that chance.
    Anyway, great.  What else.  Probably crap and shit.  I think the internment camps were a pretty good idea.  You can't trust Asian people, just look at their shifty eyes.  Dead give away.  They should call the estate tax the death tax the Dead Give Away.  That's a sentence for some reason.  Not quite sure what.  Have that on your Organ Donor card.  That's great.  I want to be frozen when I die.  Not because I think there's any hope of being brought back to life in the future.  Just because I want to be like my hero Han Solo.  Have a banner at the funeral parlor, Everything Must Go!  The good news is with each sentence, I'm that much closer to watching The Karate Kid.  Gotta do something.  I demand they replace my McDonalds with a Chipotle.  I'm not concerned about the health risks.  Bring it on.  Either way, what else and bullshit.  It impresses me how chain fast foods and coffeehouses all have the same motif, but with all unique designs to accommodate the building structure.  Really impresses me.  And it takes a lot to impress me.  Of course, when I'm dead, I want to be impressed into something like my hero Han Solo.
    Han Solo's name is misleading.  He's not riding solo.  He's got Chewbacca to keep him company.  Hey, here's this weird werewolf type person who can't talk.  Better make him my copilot.  Not a lot of logic in that.  That's how I feel.  Isn't Bacca some sort of root.  That I think people chew.  What's up with that am I right.  Well, I consulted Internet, and there's no evidence of a root called Bacca.  Does sort of ring as a reference to tobacco.  Chew tobacco.  That's interesting enough and crap.  What are you trying to do, get kids gum disease?  May the gum disease be with you.  You know, that sort of crap.  A Triscuit is a hearty cracker.  Got a lot of depth to it.  Good for them.  It's relevant because some reason. Edging closer to finishing The Sopranos.  I know everything that happens.  Probably watched the entire series three times already, two at least.  Not counting this time.  Still, though.  We finish what we start at Crazysheet.  That's my promise to myself and my audience.  Whatever happened to What's Your Names.  I don't know.  Maybe one day I'll bring it back.  I have no responsibility to.  Never did I say I'd do it forever.  It's just stick figures saying names.  You got a problem with that?  Anyway, what else and crap.
    Anyway, what else and crap.  Still mulling over whether to get guitar/vocal teacher.  At this point, I'd say it's 25/75 I end up doing it.  I don't know.  My motto at this point, probably, is Gotta Do Something.  That would qualify as something.  And I have to do something.  It's right there in the motto.  I listen to my own music relatively often, and sometimes it sounds good, but sometimes, I'm like, every one of these songs is the same, and Not Good is the consistent quality.  So that's fun.  Either way, what else and crap.  If I do get a teacher, I would insist on calling him Sensei.  And when it's my birthday, Where's my car.  That's how that goes.  I can learn to play Chopsticks to attract moths.  That's pretty close to the thing Daniel La Russo does to outdo Mr. Miyagi.  You know, that sort of crap.  We used to have lots of ants in my house.  I remember once, someone left a plate of Chinese food out for a few days, and we found it surrounded by hundreds of ants.  I don't know about hundreds.  At least a hundred.  That qualifies as hundreds in my book.  And my book is the authority on estimating numbers.  That's how I feel.
    Yeesh.  Why does Elizabeth Shue like Daniel La Russo so much.  I demand answers.  Sorry about that Shifty Eyes joke.  Asians are a fine people.  Probably in the top two or three of all peoples, as far as I'm concerned.  Let's talk about it.  Conquering Asia is what Risk is all about.  Assuming you start off in Australia like a rational person.  South America is just like Australia, but with one more territory to defend.  What kind of an imbecile starts off in South America.  The guy whose turn is after the guy who picked Australia.  Get off my website!  Won't stand for it.  Will not stand for it.  I bet when they first invented Risk, everyone would pick where they live to start out.  Rookie mistake.  You can't let your real world loyalties to influence you in this game.  That's how I feel.  Also, in Stratego, is there anything more stressful than using your Spy.  At any moment you can lose it.  So much pressure.  I can't play that game anymore.  Too much stress.
    Either way, what else and bullshit.  Maybe go for the Double Entry this entry.  Haven't had one of those yet this month.  You go after the guy who picks Australia, you fuckin' pick Australia too.  Don't let him off that easy.  Go for it!  Anyway, what else and bullshit.  Chumps starting off in North America or Europe, whichever they're from.  They're about to be in a world of shit.  What else and crap.  I'm not sure where I stand on increasing troop reinforcements by cards, or set ones.  Increasing gets the game going, but standard, a little more fair and palatable.  Sure I know what palatable means.  You don't know what palatable means.  The point is these are the real issues for some reason.  David Bowie had a lot of great songs, but probably my favorite thing from him is his song in Extras.  The point is Hero.  Him, not me.  Well, I'm a hero, too.  We're all heroes.  Just for one day, though.  That's what I've been led to believe.  Sequel to Ratatouille about talking sandwiches.  That's a thing.  Either way, I'll see ya later.     

-3:04 P.M.         
        

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Gettin' Title With It

    Hello friends.  It's your friend.  The guy whose me.  You know, that sort of thing.  Wide world of sports.  In high school I used to suscribe to ESPN Magazine and Baseball America.  For Fantasy Baseball purposes.  Sure did pay off.  I won three years in a row.  And my winnings almost covered my ESPN Magazine and Baseball America subscriptions.  Alright!  What's the deal with Canada, they don't fit in American League or National League.  #Your65YearOldGrandfather.  Someone's gotta talk about the real issues.  Either way, Hi.  It's the first weekend without New Years still in our hearts and minds.  We're into the shit now, boy.  At some point I stopped watching Ash Vs. Evil Dead.  I have no excuse.  I was enjoying it.  I just missed one episode, then by the next week, I was like, I don't wanna watch two episodes, and the week after that, No way I'm watching three episodes, and so on until the end of time one would imagine.  Also, why are the dead evil.  I'm sure most of them were benevolent in their life time.  Why should being dead make them evil.  If anything, I'd try to be a better person when I'm dead.  That's how I feel.  I guess they're not just generic people being dead and evil.  They're deadites.  Their whole unique thing.  Not really dead, then, though.  Being deadites is just what they are even when alive.  A lotta plot holes.
    Hi!  I guess nobody would watch a show about dead people doing good things.  I don't know why.  Jesus is the most popular person ever and he's a dead guy doing good things one would imagine.  Also, at what point does Jesus take over from his father and become God.  God must have some sort of retirement plan, right?  He can't be doing this shit forever.  This guy can't work six days a week ad infinitum.  It's impractical.  I like The Holy Ghost.  He's a ghost.  Whose holy.  Hilarious.  Here we are, with the purported most powerful forces in the universe, and their third wheel is a ghost.  Sure, he's holy.  But he's just a ghost.  Love it.  Don't even know what he does.  Never have I heard an explanation of what the Holy Ghost is responsible for.  Sure, I've never been to church or Sunday school or anything.  One would imagine they give some sort of information about this character.  Either way, Hi!  The year before the first year of Hebrew School, which is like six Saturday classes in a row, I never went to, because it was Rosh Hashanah, and they would have made us eat apples with honey.  I'm not on board with that.  Forego my Jewish heritage because I don't wanna eat apples and honey.  That's me.
    Right, right... Either way, Hi!  That reminds me, gotta come up with a title for the month that shows up in the place where it says what website you're viewing.  Alright!  I love doing things.  It's so much better than not doing things.  Something like January, Huh?  I Guess.  Something like that, but not that exactly.  Either way, what else.  X-Box stopped working again.  It's these damn controllers.  Can't get 'em to register with the freakin' device.  I've tried everything.  Turnin' em on, doesn't work.  Not touchin' em, doesn't work.  I'm out of options at this point.  What else.  At least I got to watch Jurassic Park III on T.V. last week.  That's the main DVD I have. Jurassic Park III.  I think every Jurassic Park ends with them flying away and seeing some bird dinosaurs also flying away.  And they're like, Oh boy, how's this gonna turn out.  But it happens every movie.  They should be used to it by now.  People discovering dinosaur fossils in the 1800's must have been pretty freaked out. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE THINGS?!  You know, that sort of thing.  These are the real issues.  I don't get why they assumed dinosaurs were lizards, though.  The main thing that makes them look like lizards is the skin.  They didn't know what the skin looked like.  They were just pulling it out of their ass completely.  Not a fan, paleontologists!  Get a real job!
    What kind of moron becomes a paleontologist.  Yeah, I'm smart enough to be a real scientist... think I'll just look at some fossils.  What's the deal with things!  I'm takin' on everybody this entry.  Paleontologists, the Holy Ghost, Apples and Honey.  I'm outta control!  Yeesh.  As far as I know, the Holy Ghost's main thing is just hanging around.  Goes to God and Jesus, Just tell me if you need anything.  That's how I feel.  What else is going on.  Haven't watched The Sopranos today.  I consider that a victory probably for some reason.  Man, now that I think of it, still gotta watch the last season.  I'm almost there!  We finish what we start here in crazysheet.  That's a rule.  I think I started getting fatter again.  I can know hold rolls of fat in my stomach.  Couldn't used to do that.  Hey, Tony Soprano is fat, and he could still get the ladies.  The point is what else.  Got some paragraph and shit to go.  I don't want no apples and honey.  I don't want apples, and I don't want honey.  Why would I want them together.  Shouldn't we be eating matzoh, anyway?  Why limit it to Passover.  If you're gonna eat something, commit to it.  That's how I feel and crap.
    Alright, last paragraph!  About time.  Three more weeks till class starts.  That's not too bad.  I can do three weeks.  Each semester, I get slightly better at socializing.  At this rate, I'll make a friend or two eventually.  The odds are forever in my favor.  I don't get The Hunger Games.  Hey, everyone outside the capital hates us!  I know what'll get them to like us!  Killing people from where they live!  Granted, I never saw the first movie or read the first book.  That's granted.  I saw the second movie.  And read the third book.  I feel like I've comited enough time to the whole thing to question its logic is my point.  Yeesh.  I'm still halfway through my Pete Townshend autobiography.  Been on that since last June.  The point is I read all the time sure why not.  I'm taking Workshop classes specifically so I don't have to read.  And I like to write.  But also because I don't wanna read no crap.  I've read a bunch of stuff.  Dozens of books!  Dozens!  I've fulfilled my reading quota for the rest of my life as far as I'm concerned.  Also, I don't wanna finish the Pete Townshend book.  Once I'm done with that, I have to read the Bob Dylan autobiography.  And if I know Bob Dylan as well as I think I do, that book is gonna be mighty confusing.  Yeesh.  One more paragraph, coming up.
    Hi!  I don't like Choose Your Own Adventures.  Look, I bought a regular book, that's choosing my own adventure enough.  Why complicate things and crap and what else and bullshit.  Today's Saturday.  That's great.  Choose your own adventure.  What kind of message is that sending to our kids?  I don't know.  That's why I asked you.  Crap and bullshit and crap.  Writing crap is a choose your own adventure.  Why don't you kids just write crap.  If you start honing your craft at an early age, you might eventually have a website that is viewed by twos of people.  The point is I'm a success story is the point.  Great.  Pete Townshend's book is called Who I Am.  I get it.  Because of the band name.  The Who.  Who I am.  It's a pun.  Because AM means A minor.  Isn't that great.  Stupid rolls of fat.  I guess subconsciously it provides an excuse for why I ain't gettin' wit no ladies.  Isn't not being around any ladies excuse enough.  You're excuse enough!  Get off my website!  Yeesh.  You'd think with Crazysheeting every other day the ladies would be throwing themselves at me.  That's what should happen.  In a just world.  
    Okay.  Another paragraph.  Got nothin' better to do.  That's how that goes.  I'm sick of emptying my ashtray twice a day.  There's got to be a better way.  That doesn't require all this work.  Yeesh.  I oughtta finish that book.  I like The Who.  I like Pete Townshend.  I like words.  So anyway, I was Who-ing it up, and who do I meet but Charles Manson.  That's what these books are like.  The point is what else.  Need some crap to finish this paragraph.  Whatta jip.  I need people to write guest entries for Crazysheet.  That would be great.  Not really.  It lacks the main good thing about Crazysheet-- Me.  What else and carp.  It's January.  So I got that going on.  What carp.  In this era of social media nobody has their own website anymore.  What happened to Angelfire.  I posit that quesiton to you.  What happened to Angelfire.  I want to buy stock in Angelfire.  You know, as a goof.  I want to buy stock in AOL.  For legitimate reasons.  People love nostalgia.  What's more nostalgia-riffic for my generation than AOL.  Get on board with this bullshit.  Anyway, I'll catch ya later.

-5:41 P.M.                      

Friday, January 8, 2016

Hey!

    That covers that.  What's going on in the wide world of sports.  Mike Piazza made the Hall of Fame.  Why they're judging and qualifying baseball players on Fame I don't know.  Shouldn't it be The Hall of Great Baseball Players?  Electing the most famous baseball players seems kinda pointless.  Also, the building structure has got to be more than one hall.  Let's talk about it.  My Stuy Music Appreciation Teacher was Ms. Hall.  Probably.  I don't remember so well.  The main thing I learned was Mozart and Beethoven existed.  We all got a CD of I think 25 classical/baroque/rococo or whatever songs.  I really liked Dvorak, New World Symphony.  I liked to imagine some epic movie about some historical war and they play that in the background.  I'm a regular Mr. Holland's Opus.  I liked imagining Sublime to future me getting high in college.  One of these two ideas panned out.  That's how I feel.  Either way, Wide World of Sports.  I wish I knew someone who was incarcerated in Texas.  What ever happened to Billy?  Texas Hold 'Em.  That's how I feel about things.  Poker is full of great puns.  Flush, nuts, you get the idea.  I don't like the rule If you can't spot a sucker at the table, you are the sucker.  How dare you.  What if I'm just bad at spotting things.  Don't you tell me I need to study my Where's Waldo to become a better poker player.  I won't have any of it!  None!
    That covers that.  There should be a sequel book to Where's Waldo called, We Found Him.  And each page is just a full scale drawing of the one Waldo.  That's what should happen.  Also, how do we know the Waldo we find on each page is really Waldo.  Even the one who looks exactly like him could be an imposter.  We don't know.  I'm not sure, learning wise, what the point of Waldo is.  What does that teach kids.  Everybody looks the same, but there's one guy whose really it.  How does that apply to life at all.  I like to imagine an adult going through Where's Waldo.  HE'S GOT TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE GOD DAMN IT.  Gettin' really upset over it, that kind of thing.  I heard Gone Girl was originally going to be about Waldo but they couldn't secure the rights to it.  That's how I feel.  Jeez, January 8th.  That means I've been watching The Sopranos all day for nine days or something.  And what do I have to show for it.  I already knew everything that was going to happen.  I've gained nothing from this entire experience.  Also, 27 now.  Not sure how watching The Sopranos every day is helping me become an adult.  That was my New Age's Resolution.  Become an adult.  So far, not so much progress.  I did get an A+ on my class.  But most of that was when I was still 26.  Oh well, live and learn.  I was watching Batman Begins, and he fuckin' falls down a well at the beginning.  I guess that's what they call foreshadowing.  I remember seeing The Dark Knight with some friends, and there's a point where Rachel says to Alfred, You've known me my whole life.  And he goes, Not Yet.  Because her life isn't over.  And I laughed out loud.  Then later she dies, and after the movie, my friend is like, Woah, you totally saw that foreshadowing!  Nope.  I just like a good joke.  Not yet.  How does Alfred come up with this stuff!  I I was watching some Batman Forever, the Alfred in that wasn't bad.  Alfred's the glue that holds Batman together.
    Great, just great.  That's how I feel.  I still have to watch the entire last season of The Sopranos, which is twice as long as previous seasons.  I'm pot committed now.  I have pretty much no choice in the matter.  I'm not even invested in the story or the characters or anything anymore.  I've seen too much of it.  I just want it to be over.  Wide World of Sports, what else is going on.  I like how they interrupted the New Years Eve Twilight Zone marathon with some WWE Smackdown.  That'll get you in the New Years spirit.  My new Doctor/Nurse Practioner is a little too lenient.  I told her about my drinking and she was like, Nah, that's nothing to worry about.  Now, that's how I feel.  But I don't want a doctor telling me that.  It's not right.  Let me make my own mistakes and you call me out on it.  That's the deal.  Anyway, great.  We had a repair guy come in to fix our fridge.  If he doesn't open every professional interaction with, Is your refrigerator running? then I have no faith in mankind.  That's right, that's how high the stakes are.
    Anyway.  A few more weeks until school starts.  That's great.  Apparently this is the fourth paragraph.  I wouldn't lie to you.  Either way, what else and crap.  At some point, it's time to call of the search for Waldo.  We have to accept the inevitable fact that he's no longer with us.  That's how I feel.  Oh wait there he is.  Hooray!  What else and bullshit.  What kind of world is it that we live in that everybody is trying to pass as Waldo.  Doesn't seem right.  Not one bit.  Either way, what else is going on.  Probably crap and shit.  That's how I feel for some reason.  Either way, what else and crap.  Gotta knock the rest of this entry out of the park for some reason.  You know, as a thank you for those reading.  Gotta give ya something right.  Probably.  It went through my brain as a logical sequence of words.  I think Reggie Jackson is probably the most famous baseball player.  He was in The Naked Gun.  Case closed.  He must kill the Queen.  I heard it somewhere at some point sometime.  Either way, what else and crap.  Boy am I looking forward to February 29th.  Gotta make it count.  Only comes once in a four year period.  I'm not telling tales out of school, you know this.
    Either way, that was a crappy way to end a paragraph.  Whatever, I'm not here to win any popularity contests.  Except for how I want to be in the Website Hall of Fame.  Popularity, in it's base definition, would be the standard for that.  Great, just great.  I wonder if, how they do political polling, if they polled, Do you know who Barack Obama is, what percent would say no.  I would guess it would be near ten percent.  That's what we live with.  And another thing, I've had it up to here with Waldo!  Yeesh.  What else and crap.  When is Anthony Jr. gonna get it together.  That's what I feel.  When I was a freshman in Stuy I visited Silvercup Studios as a thing, where they shot The Sopranos.  The main thing I remember is there being a Kennedy Fried Chicken near it.  I like things that are close to things but aren't for copyright reasons.  And there's a character or two named Kennedy in the show.  How about that.  It was a four or six visit thing.  On one, they brought in someone who was supposed to teach us about screenwriting.  I think she said, movie scripts are approximately ninety pages, and then left.  So, yeah, I got a lot out of that experience.
    That's how I feel.  Yeesh.  This'll be the last paragraph.  I give you my word.  Hey, I was once a place, where other stuff happened!  That's why I belong in some sort of hall of fame.  What else and crap.  Yeesh.  Wide world of sports.  What's a third thing I did as a freshman in Stuy.  Does not talk to anybody count as a thing?  I was busy.  You know, listening to The White Stripes and crap.  Get off my case!  What else and crap.  That's behind me now.  My ten year high school anniversary is this year.  I don't know if that's a thing or not.  I got some sort of mail for a five year reunion.  Ten years, that might be too soon.  Look at all the progress I've made since then.  Like Improv 201, and 20 or so credits at a certified college.  I'm killin' it!  My doctor was like, didn't you used to take acting classes?  Improv was a while back at this point.  I've moved onto bigger and better things.  Like 20 credits.  That's nothin' to sneeze at.  Thirty more, and graduated!  Like a Hero!  Anyway.  Wide world of sports.  Gotta do something.  Also, I've known for quite some time the appropriate length of screenplays.  Don't mean to brag.  Alright, I'll catch ya later.

-6:30 P.M.          

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Hey, I'm Still Alive!

    Successful week off from entrying.  Still alive!  I don't know how I did it.  Now, just gotta replicate that for a few thousand more weeks, and I'll be good.  A thousand weeks is roughly twenty years.  That's not that much.  A week goes by quickly.  A thousand of them?  Twenty years gone.  This entry is brought to you by Math.  Can't live with it, can't live without it.  You probably could live without it.  And you almost certainly can live with it.  The point is I'm a liar.  I even lied about being alive.  Truth is, I returned from death, my immortal rest, the big Zero.  What the Hell am I talking about?  Nobody knows.  Also, let's start calling death The Big Zero.  Because I said it.  And I'm great.  That's just mathematical knowledge.  Let's start calling death Starship Troopers.  The point is I'm back with all sorts of nonsense, new and old.  It's 2016, let's get with it, am I right?  I remember playing some sort of Starship Troopers Wing Commando bullshit PC game with a friend when I was eight or whatever.  The real memorable thing from that?  Yeah, we had snacks-- pretzels.  You're telling me you don't have the gazingas to get potato chips?  I have to eat this crap?  Also, let's take a vote on what gazingas means.  I have it on good authority it's close to a catchphrase from The Big Bang.  Not to be confused with the end of the universe, otherwise known as The Big Zero.  I remember in eighth grade, thinking that There should be a porno called The Big Bang.  Man, if that's the level of comedic genuis I was at at twelve, imagine where I'd be at now!  Or, continue reading and form your own opinion.  Imagine, read... it's all the same in the end.  The Big Zero, either way.
    Where am I.  So what if this entry sounds crazy.  Slightly manic and crap.  It's the first entry of the new year, get off my back.  Got an A+ on fall semester class.  And you all doubted me.  It's tricky to get an A+ when you completely punt 10% of your grade by not doing any of that assignment.  But I pulled it off.  And all it took was three blow jobs.  One to get acquainted, one as a practice run, and one for all the gazingas.  It's also tricky to a rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky.  Sorry about that.  Gotta sentence quota to fill, you understand.  The point is I got rum instead of whiskey or vodka yesterday and boy what a miscalculation.  It's not that it tastes bad, it just has no taste.  I probably built up a tolerance on account of something.  You get to decide what.  This paragraph is the real gazingas.  The real Big Zero.  Starship Troopers.  What else is going on.  They had Super Mario Bros. on over New Years!  My favorite part is Mario says something positive to Luigi, I forget what.  And the captions said John Leguizamo replies  Cool, Man.  But the only sound that comes out is "Ko-Ba."  I rewinded it again and again.  No "Cool Man."  Koba.  And it triggered my memory that I remember him saying Koba.  For the rest of the day, I kept thinking of the word Koba and made myself laugh myself silly Starship Troopers about it.  Also, that movie wasn't very faithful to the source material.  There's no jumping on things to make them disappear.  That's all that happens in Mario: The Game.  And they couldn't even get that right.  Also, King Koopa is amused that men are descended from monkeys.  He makes a big point about it.  It's APES, you idiot.  Show some respect.  Monkeys are but our revolutionary cousins.  Yeah, I get words wrong, you wanna start something?  Both Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter movies include the climactic fighting scene where the villain is floating around in a big circle.  I'm not sure whether it's some sort of copyright infringement, or perhaps parallel thinking, or what.  Certainly never happened in either of the games.  The point is great, what else.
    The point is great what else.  Koopa and Bison'll be riding the Big Zero where they're going, I can tell ya that.  What else and crap.  They also share a theme of the villains being played by respected actors who have no business participating in that kind of crap.  First class of Spring on February 1st.  That's easy to remember.  Comes right before February 2nd.  Either way, whatever.  I like cheating on those daily minicrosswords at the NYTimes.  Get that shit done in fifty seconds.  Just reveal every other square, I'll  it done.  "Take a chill pill!" the clue says.  They think they want "Relax," but I'm pretty sure they want, "Xanax."  I won't take no for an answer.  We're gonna have to redesign this around Xanax as far as I'm concerned.  Then I'll move over to some Sudoku and figure out how to work The Big Zero into every box I can.  I don't know how to play Sudoku.  No one ever taught me.  Something about nines.  I got a one in ten chance of getting that digit right.  All the lines have to add up to nine.  According to my recent fortune cookie, to say "To Taste," in Chinese, the word is, "Chang."  I had a girl in my middle school class whose  name was Belinda Chang.  Guess all along her last name meant To Taste.  Oh well, live and learn.  I remember talking to her during lunch on her first day, trying to be nice and get her acquainted.  I think I said something like, Everyone thinks your name is Melinda.  Just a heads up.  That's how that goes.  Then I said You want Chang this Jamaican Beef Patty?  It's my experience that Asian kids don't eat during lunch.  That's how I feel.  You can't argue with a feeling.  This would all be very relevant if I had wrote it 800 weeks ago.
    The good news is great.  Guess it's great news.  I undersold it.  Either way, fourth paragraph!  There was an Asian kid in my elementary school class who was the only peer I had who was actually slightly shorter than me.  Now he's six feet tall.  Whatta jip.  It shoulda been me!  And, I shouldn't have to say, he never ate his lunch.  And here I was, taking his lunch, eating Double Chicken Burgers like an asshole, and what do I have to show for it.  McDonalds by my house closed down.  Where is Justice.  Xanax is a palindrome.  Good for them.  Whattado with the rest of my day.  Wasn't I gonna become an adult.  I feel like that was something I talked about.  We'll come back to that when the time is right.  Like The Exorcist says, In Time.  When The Real Exorcist challenged The Exorcist Girl to do something magic.  She don't take no orders from a man!  In many ways The Exorcist was the first feminist.  Except not first.  And not feminist.  Certainly possessed, though.  You seen her bed shake like that?  She couldn't be doing it herself.  And I'm suspicious of everyone who can turn their head around their neck.  Raises some serious red flags.   Whose president in 1985.  Ronald Reagan.  The EXORCIST?!  Her name was Reagan.  Spoiler alert.  Remember that time Reagan threw up into Gorbachev's face?  Classic.  I feel like Bush Sr. threw up on a Japanese guy at some point or something.  Wikipedia--                

On January 8, 1992, about 8:20 p.m, JST. U.S. President George H.W. Bush fainted after vomiting at a banquet hosted by the then Prime Minister of Japan, Kiichi Miyazawa. It is the only documented occurrence of a US President vomiting on a foreign dignitary.

     Well, I'd certainly hope so.  Well, this has been fun and a ton.  One more paragraph to close it out and then we go on our merry ways.  I have it on good authority that the song Redemption Song is based on the culinary delight Jamaican Beef Patties.  And Buffalo Soldier is about a rebel who puts buffalo sauce on his beef patties.  Whole song, just for that.  Do I know other Bob Marley songs?  One would imagine.  Concrete Jungle.  The Three Birds Thing Deal.  I Shot The Sheriff.  That guy wrote upward of six songs.  Good for him and crap.  Jammin!  If you had no idea, doesn't Bob Marley sound like a perfect name for a generic white guy?  That's how I feel.  Remember that time Harry Truman pissed on Ho Chi Minh's face.  That was one for the ages I suppose.  I rewatched Full Metal Jacket for the first time in a while recently.  I like the Full part, and I guess the Metal was okay.  Didn't care for the Jacket.  Anyway, I'll see ya later.

-3:37 P.M.