Thirty Days Has September, April,
June, I Can't Remember
your boy. Anyway, what's up. Dorming begins next week. It
oughtta be hollerable. That how that go. Whatta do in the meantime.
I'm reading the Pete Townshend book. It's as good as the others, but has a
full line paragraph break after three paragraphs. It's constantly enticing
me to stop reading! I read a page, figure, that's good enough for now, put
it down, pick it back up a minute and a half later. That's no way to read
a book! Well, it's one way. And it's going really well! One
thing I'm taking away from these books is that there is no one way to approach
doing music creatively. Each person has their own way of doing it, and
their own spark that makes them unique. I wish I had a spark.
Probably why I smoke so many cigarettes. It's a reasonable theory.
The only thing that's common is they all love the blues. I don't know what
a blues is. I remember my first semester junior year at NYU, on the first
day dorming, a suitemate got high with me and made me listen to modern blues on
youtube. Wasn't impressed. Around the same time I found Robert
Johnson on iTunes, which I liked, but didn't really put that much thought into.
I also had the idea for a band called, "Punk Drunk Blues," because Punk is good,
Blues is good, and being drunk is good. Three for three. Also, three
for three. Four for four. Four Fours. Five seconds till
fourday. Where am I.
Right, right. Gotta do something. I also had an
idea for a song called, "Seo's Bistro," inspired by Mets pitcher Jae Seo.
What makes him deserving of a song? He has a funny name. Oh, how we
would say, "Seo Sorry," and laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Also,
pretty sure Mo Vaughn was the inspiration for moveon.org. Anyway.
Why does he have a bistro? Seems like a logical progression. You'd
think he'd have a Korean restaurant, right?Wrong. Jae
Seo was fully assimilated into this culture long ago. What if "Mo-Von.org"
was just a website dedicated to Mo Vaughn. I came up with it, and I'm
laughing, and laughing, and laughing. Not much has changed since I was
fourteen, when it comes down to it.I know in previous crazysheet,
I made a joke along the lines of Fantasy Baseball being where you pick players
you fantasize about, in which case, I pick Mo Vaughn, hands down, every day of
the week. Sunday? Yup. Monday through Wednesday? Yes,
indeed. Rest? Yea. What else is goin' on. Where am I.
Right, right. What else is going on. Sometimes in dreams, I sorta
dream music while in the dream, and I can distort it and play with it, in my
dream, and it sounds brilliant in my head. Can't do it while I'm awake,
though. Whatta shame. All I can do is almost hit power chords.
I'm workin' my way up to it. It took me years to be able to hit the
strings when I'm strumming. Also, I think I can solo by just playing
completely randomly. I see my heroes do it, seemingly without thinking,
so, in my diseased mind, I think,Hey, all I need to do is follow my
heart, man! And that may be true, if you have a solid musical
understanding in you heart. Which I do not. At least not while I'm
There goes that crap.
Sorry, I'll give you some time to go into something else, before you come back
to read this paragraph. Alright? Alright. What else is going
on. It's like, every block of paragraphs is a verse, and the space in
between is the chorus! I hate this character more than I've hated
anything, ever. What else and crap. Hi!Maybe if I
smoke more, that'll make my heart better at music. That's a valid
theory. If not, though, who cares. What's going on in the wide world
of sport. Shit, something really is going on in the wide world of
sport. Soccer, eh? Great. I couldn't care less. If I
cared any less, it would border on associating it with negative feelings.
I don't get to that point. I just don't give any shits. Maybe
because my soccer game on Gameboy was fuckin' boring as shit. I can't
remember if I was ever in a youth soccer league as a kid, I think I might have
been for a year or two. But I don't ever remember kicking anything.
Just a lot of running in one direction, and then, running back where I came
from. I also remember, the first year of baseball, where we still hit off
tees, andI still never got a hit. I think the tee was set
up too high for me. I think those tees can be adjusted. Yeah,
but the lowest was still too high for me. I'm a short stop! Just
not in the baseball terminology. Also, water volleyball is really
hard. I remember doing that in Gym in Stuy. How the Hell are you
supposed to move distances greater of four inches in time? It's
impossible. Not even mentioning that, while moving, you gotta hit the ball
back in the direction it came from. Except, with mentioning it.
Anyway, huh. This is like the fourth paragraph or some
shit. Great. What else is great. Two more paragraphs
worth of things, sure, but what. Anyway. I can make a D
chord. Don't mean to brag. That's about where I'm at.
Where you at? That's something people say to their friends when they're
meeting them, but one isn't there yet. A little something I picked up
here or there. Yep. When I play a D, it's actually a C, cause
of my tuned-downdness. Put that bit of inside knowledge in your
pocket. What else is going on and crap. I used to tune down both
guitars to standard D tuning. Then I started doing Eb on electric guitars,
because that's the kind of guy I am. The closest I've ever come to being a
musician is playing guitar hero late at night by myself with the volume off.
When I see those animated characters in the background jumping up and down with
joy, I just kick into third or fourth gear and ride the wave, baby, ride the
wave. What else is going on. I'm here, writing shit, and crap.
That should take me into the 2:00's. Probably. What else is goin'
Anyway, this was an
entry. Sure was. Dunno how often I'll get to entryin' at dorm, on
account of all the fun I'll be having. Why, four five six o clock seven o
clock rock, eight nine eleven o clock four a clock rock? It's gonna be
these days are yours and mine Happy Days all the time. Whattado, whattado.
Brit Lit Survey I next month. Most likely my least favorite class in the
history of things. Chaucer? Shakespeare? No thank you. I
heard a monkey is smarter than Shakespeare, it's a proverb or something.
Ceasar is probably smarter than Shakespeare, but so far, in The Planet of the
Apes movies, we haven't seen any apes with an inclination towards literature or
art. Maybe a little bit later on in the series. Also, apes aren't
monkeys, this, we all know. Anyway, see ya later.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
friends and friends of friends. And any type of enemy. No neutrals,
though. I can't stand neutrals. Where do they get off, being
neutral. I find Swiss to be the most neutral of the cheeses. You
can't argue with a feeling. So, most likely, I'm going to dorm on Sunday.
And I don't mean dorm as a verb, I mean it as a noun. To go with my habit
of not using pronouns where they belong. That's what's really important.
Still about a 20% chance they don't assign me to a dorm, in which case, I'll be
like, Well, Fuck You Then. I'll Take My Business Elsewhere!
Start living in the pizzeria across the street, sleeping under the crushed red
pepper dispensers. Chinese dentist. I mean, wha? Huh?
Anyway. Read Eric Clapton autobiography. Man, I thought I had a bad
drinking habit. Well, not really. My parents think I have a bad
drinking habit. Three to four drinks a day. He paced me, seven or
eight times over, on that. And then he became a sober! Good on him.
Not gonna stop me, though. Plus, a bunch of other drugs, in his heyday.
I judge artists by the drugs they do, not the actions they take. Or the
drugs they take, not the actions they do. Either way. I remember,
the first time I tried to read my Led Zeppelin book, was the first time I was in
hospital. I had that, The Road, and I think Sophie's Choice.
I couldn't manage to read any of them, in my state of mind. That's
interesting and/or important. Especially if you add a not before
important. And a not before interesting. Gotta be consistent, if I
learned anything from Sophie's Choice, it's that. I never read Sophie's
Choice. I imagine it's a Pro-Abortion Rights doctrine.
It's a good thing I never read it, I woulda aborted myself,
then and there. You don't need to tell me twice. Whattado,
whattado. My plan for dorming is just buy a bunch of alcohol and trick
people into being friends with me, on the guise of giving them free alcohol.
It's a pretty clever ruse, if I may say so myself. Too bad I don't have
the money to support such an excursion beyond the first night. Hey, one
night is all you need. Once they're friends with you, there's no
turning back. Decisions are final, and whatnot. I like how Tenacious
D says you can only do one cock push up. Honestly, I think if I attempted
it, I could probably do two or three. I had a dream I was the Jim Carrey
of 2018. Then, suddenly, still in the dream, it was present time, and I
was like, I better change course! This was a warning! I don't
wanna be the Jim Carrey of 2018! That was tons of fun. I think
changing course, for some reason, in the dream, meant getting a different hair
cut. Dreams are weird. When I was in hospital the first time, on the
first night, I kept hearing the nurses walking by the door, keepin' me up.
Where do they get off, checking in on their patients. I won't stand for
it! Not one bit! Sometimes I worry there aren't enough entertainers
my age or younger. When the current crop dies or gets too old, who will
replace them? Robots? That's not great. I don't wanna robot
entertainment hierarchy. That's not fun. Maybe it's just me, but I
can't see an eighty year old Jim Carrey going, "Alllllrighty Then!"
unless if it's in response to accepting euthanasia. I would see that
movie. There goes my whole theory. Alrighty then. I must have seen Ace Ventura: Pet
Cemetary II a hundred times, and the original only once or twice. We had
the sequel recorded on VCR, and not the original. That explains that.
What else is going on and crap. If I do dorm, I'm probably gonna take a
break from all online excursions. To really immerse myself in the new and
different experience. Here's hopin', right? It's kind of dependent
on if I make friends. We'll see how it goes. What's the
alcohol:friends ratio? One twelve pack'll get me how many friends?
Someone do the math, you're good at math. I also vaguely remember seeing
Pet Detective II in theaters, but it combines with seeing Dumb and Dumber I, and
Air Bud. I think because I saw all three in the same theater which I
haven't been back to since the start of this millennium. I remember I saw
Saving Bobby Fischer in a theater with an escalator! Forget the movie, I
wanna see the escalator for two hours. Will it continue going up?
Here's hopin! Yeesh. I bet if you opened up an escalator spot, where
you can ride an escalator for 25 cents a pop, you'd make a killing. I
don't like Stairway To Heaven. If it was really Heaven, wouldn't it be an
escalator? Also, 50% chance I've made that joke before. 90% chance
someone else has. 100% chance who cares. Why do you need a stairway,
anyway, you're in a Led Zeppelin. That's gotta get you halfway to Heaven,
Alrighty then. The transformation has begun!
But I remember, because of my elevated status, I got prime seats to some
rock concert. Alrighty then! Where was I. Right, countin' down
the days to potential dorming. What else and crap. Why doesn't
Shredder just leave a trail of pizzas into the ocean. Them turtles
wouldn't know what hit 'em. You know, water, turtles' worst enemy?
Whatta idiot. Anyway, gotta finish this entry. Mostways there.
I guess Jennifer Lawrence can just be in every movie from now on. That'll
solve that problem. Male counterpart? Chris... Tom.. Cumber.. Zeke..
Walter... Oh, that's right. Walter Matthau. That solves that
problem. Where every film shoot'll be a Weekend At Bernie's
scenario. I've seen Weekend@Bernies
II a lot more than Weekend@Bernies I.
I have no excuse for that, other than that they must have showed II on cable T.V.
in the 1990's much more than they showed I. Same for Short Circuit.
And Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I guess it was just an era of sequels
blowing the originals out of the water. Tremors II. Weekend At
Bernie's II. Oh, I already said that. We're the Odd Couple,
Felix, You Better Get Used To It! Pretty sure that's an accurate line
Yeesh. What else and crap. Escape From L.A. as
opposed to Escape from N.Y. But there was a notable release date
difference between the two which would account for that. Anyway, close to
closing time. Alright. I looked at myself in mirror. Three
years is a long time, but I still don't see myself morphing into Jim Carrey any
time soon. Woulda been nice to score those killer seats at that rock
concert, though. Oh well. Let's face it, if I'm gonna morph into
anything, it'll be a Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger, because the word, it's in
there, the word what I was using, it's in the reference.
Alrighty then. In a dejected tone of voice, and crap. I think I
double alcoholed my cranberry juice. What a folly. Citrus Rum, it's
labelled as. Murs U R Tic. Now all I need to figure out is what a
Murs is. Then I'll be in business for sure. See ya later.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Lets Title It
friends. It's me, the jerk who makes you read crap every now and then.
What fun. I'm done with the Spring term. And you all doubted me.
Who thought of putting a, "B," in doubt. What a freaking moron.
Anyway, I've decided not to dorm. On account of there probably being only
forty or fifty students in the dorm during the summer. I don't like those
odds! I need at least two thousand people to make two and a half friends.
Or, one thousand people to make one and one fourth friends. You do the
math. Or not, I just did it for you. Either way, everybody wins.
Fifty people? Whattajoke. Doesn't matter though, I got a lotta
fun stuff planned here. Like, eating grilled cheese sandwiches, with
bacon. And drinking diet chocolate soda with alcohol. And bacon.
And probably some other stuff, too.That's odd, usually
comedy lists come in threes. Yeah, I guess. Anyway. I
wonder who discovered comedy is best in threes. Was it Einstein?
Probably Einstein. Also, E=Mc2? Alright, E is energy, we all
know that. What the Hell is an MC2?
.Is it what happens to a
DJ when he tries on new glasses? Nerdy glasses? The kind a square
would wear? High five, I made a terrible pun. Jokes on you,
you read it, like a rube. Really though, mc2? It
means nothing. Einstein was really phoning it in on that one.
Interestingly, Phoning something in? PII=Einsteindidit.
Where was I. Where am I.
This is terrible. Still, gotta do something.
Fifty people. Psh. They must think I'm a sucker. It would
still make it a lot more convenient having three hour classes four days a week.
Shut up! Gotta do something, though. That's why I'm here.
Gotta do something. So, how about that news. What's in the news.
Mad Max was a good movie. Pretty sure that's the headline of the week.
Either that, or me deciding not to dorm. Either that, or me cleaning my
room.And you all doubted me. Stupid paint chipped
where I pasted my cork board. Gotta get a new corkboard just to cover it
up. That's a good idea. Put up a poster of Raquel Welsh. And
then, every night, tunnel my way to freedom. It's only about six inches,
shouldn't take more than two or three years, tops. The good news is, soup
has been a big part of my life the last couple weeks. I can't get enough of it.
Food flavored water? Brilliant! That how that go. I
wonder if MC Hammer named his son MC Nails. And, if so, how did he go back
in time to challenge Michael J. Fox to a car racing scenerio? And change
his name to MC Needles? Changing the name, that part's easy. Just
get a notary public.Not a Republic? I'm fairly sure it
is. Democratic Republic, to be exact. Going back in time, that's
the hard part.
This is craptacular. Jokes on you. At least,
that's what I tell myself, to make me feel better. I'm sick of diet soda
advertising itself as, "Low Calorie." You'rezero calories!
Put your best foot forward, and whatnot. About a 50% I've said that
before. It rings some bells and whatnot. Maybe I should still
dorm. I mean, fifty people. That's thirty five people who are
looking for a friend. And, it's convenient and whatnot. And, it
could just be a break from my parents. Stupid having to make decisions.
Where does life get off? Yeesh. Anything else? Yeah,
half the entry, dummy. Right, right. Gotta do something.
That's how I feel. We're gonna need a bigger corkboard. Not
quite sure how that applies. Oh, because I have to apply to the
dorm. Now I get it.Just sit in my room, read and crap.
Can't do that at home. Who knows. Put Sublime on a 24 hour
loop, only to be interrupted every now and then by track and field play list.
Plus, I'm pretty sure it's guaranteed I'd have suitemates. Gotta be
friends with those jerkholes. One would imagine. Where am I?
Right, right. Wha? Huh? Anyway, what else is going on.
Oh, right.Running With The Devil. Band on the Run.
Forgot about those two. What else and crap.
Yeah. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me.
Besides everyone. If you take away everyone, who else wouldn't want to be
friends with me. Ha! I get lunch in an hour! Jokes on you.
That's how that goes, I guess. Hey, I got an A- in my English class!
And I even almost read one of the books! Brought my GPA to an even 3.0.
I'm a great. Whattado, whattado. Also, sex might happen! If
there's fifty people, that's like twenty six girls! Bingo bango! How
wonderful and crap. Also, what else. Let's see. I talked about
the important issues of the day. I've made some funny bones. A
third thing, one would imagine. If I make that comedy comes in
threes, but I only gave you two joke three times, then it justifies itself.
How about that. Anyway, huh? I think McDonalds purposely doesn't pay
its workers enough, so they'll go on strike, and it'll make the news.
Because, when McDonalds people go on strike, sure, there's a part of me that
sympathizes with them and supports them. But, there's another part of me
that goes, Hey, I like McDonalds. I should get some.Also, you could get a
double cheeseburger for a dollar. That's three meals a day for three
dollars. What's the problem. I've always thought there should be
more people who order food, and just not pay.Hey, you already
prepared it, just give it to me. Makes sense to me.
Anyway. Another entry in the books. Almost. What else and
shit. It's Saturday. That's great. What else. God knows
I need to listen to Sublime more often. Maybe mix in some Reel Big Fish.
You know, for variety. And crap. See ya later.
... Weird Al's
Running With Scissors album
- The next day
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Anonymous? Can We Get a Better Word For That?
folks. It's your friend, me. I looked up other Michael Kornblums on
Facebook, and I was disgusted. Wha, that's not what a Michael Kornblum
is! You're way off! That's an interesting story. Is it
time to close up the entry yet? Hmm? No, okay. What else I got
going. Probably sign up for dorm this weekend, unless I change my mind.
It should be great. Wha? Huh? Zuh? You know, that
sort of thing. I got a 9 minus in my Yoga midterm, as far as I can
tell. The grade was just a couple of squiggles. Sorta like a
Rorschach test. I guess not knowing how I did is very Namaste of
the whole thing. Anyway, wha huh zuh? I still have 6 rock memoirs to
order from amazon. That'll be good transition from home to dorm.
Read half before dorming, half once I get there, should put me in a rock 'n roll
state of mind. And every evening before I go to bed listen to my track and
field playlist. That'll put me in the right state of mind. Anyway.
Let's get entrying with it. That's how I feel. I found a rubber band
on my way to the bus. Now I'm wearing it around my wrist. You know,
for style. Whatta joke. What else. I don't know. All I
do know is that rubber bands are the epitome of fashion. I'm rubber, you're glue... That's
not even remotely correct. You're not made of rubber and I sure as Hell
ain't glue. Get your facts straight. I guess if Mr. Fantastic is
saying that to The Ramones as a way of identifying them through the title of one
of their songs, I guess it makes sense. But that's a very specific set of
circumstances. That'll rarely come up.
Ha, I made you read crap. Whatta sucker. Maybe
He's saying, "I'm Rubber, Your glue... lets combine it up."
Or not. Most likely not. Hanyways. 6 credits this summer.
I'm killin it! And, forget lunch buddies. I can possibly make
Dinner Buddies. The ultimate buddies there is. That's how I
feel. Yep. What else and crap. I sure hope my dorm bed is
North --> South. I'm sick off this West --> East bullshit. It's
played out. Anything but that. Anything but that. I still need
to write this crap, I guess. That how that goes. Calories.
Cal-El. I'd trust and support a Diet Superman. Why not.
Aughtta at least finish this paragraph before class. Probably skip the
pizza today, I've got leftover taco. Also, I want to go home.
Also, get out of my house! Also, where am I. Right, right.
Fruck it, if I want pizza I'm gonna get pizza. A whole cheeze pizza, all
for myself! Keep the change you dirty animal! What else and crap.
I need a drink. Being sober is played out. That's how I feel.
Man, I keep listening to my albums I made over the past year. I'm a great.
Plus Crazysheet? Minus my height? Divided by Pi? 26.39990666.
No I'm not gonna show my work! That's for rubes. Also, I
originally spelled it as Pie. Because I'm a great. Gotta do
something. Coca Cola Zero. You're the Zero! Where does cola
get off insulting me. Stupid soft drinks, always trying to get my goat.
Now I'm in lunch. Because why not. A man's got to
enjoy his lunch. I deserve a break today. Snap into a Slim Jim.
Messin' With Sasquatch. Gotta write more shit to justify my lunch.
I'm sick and tired of having to justify my lunch. Just leave it alone!
Beer tonight. Beer reminds me of socializing. However, as the
scraping subject who was ruled by fear once told Elliott Smith, "Whiskey Works
Better Than Beer," and I believe him. Elliott Smith's implicit endorsement
of the validity of the statement it all I need. Also, "All You Need" by
Sublime. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me. I don't know.
Gotta at least finish this paragraph for lunch. Teacher gave us possible
exam questions, making it substantially easier to prepare for test. Also,
what else. Sick of this West --> East bullshit. Oh, Run by Epik
High. That's some Asian song a friend made me listen to once while high
back in 2008. How could I forget. Anyway, I'm home now, since
the Epik High reference. Hey, what the what. It's me. Writin'
shit. Can you believe it? Fruck. What else and crap.
That's great, just great. I think I'll see the Morgan Freeman movie
tomorrow. I'm a little afraid he might die halfway through the movie, he's
pretty old. I have no experience with elderly people. Like, over 67,
let's say. My parents are both 67. So, I guess, wait a few years,
and it'll happen for me.Summer of 67, summer of love. That's
a reference Morgan Freeman might know. Free love, right? This
guy's on the ball. What guy. And What Ball? I don't know, you figure it out. Genuinely,
Last Vegas is in the top 10 of the 100 or so movies I've seen in the past few
years. It's just stress free. Fun. Good times. That, and
Dumb & Dumber To.Hey, I remember being at someone's front door!
Memories that'll last a life time. Where am I. Right, right.
Sometimes I forget the name of my maternal grandfather, his name was Ben, and I
sometimes think it's Abe. I have to assume because Abe is Grandfather
Simpson's name. Because I'm stupid. I read somewhere that corn is
mostly indigenous to America. Where'd my ancestors get Korn from?
It's a mystery. Anyway, what else. Not everything in life has to
make sense. Like, I'm still trying to figure outwhat ball.
Still stuck on that. Gotta move on.What else.
Crap and shit. Whateverandshit. Dorming can't be bad. At
worst, it'll be mediocre. I'll have my own private room, so even if I
don't make friends, I'll have a vacation from my parents. Sign me up for
Anyway, Hi! What's goin on in this paragraph, we'll
see. One would imagine. Yeesh. Halfway through May. My
iTunes library deleted itself. Where does it get off.I'll
tell you what songs should be available to me, thanks. You're a
computer program, I don't need your opinion. This is just like the
time Doom deleted my hard drive. I miss floppy discs. I doubt I'll
ever see one of those again. Also,floppy discs.
Sounds funny. And remotely inappropriate. Yeesh. What else and
crap. I'll see ya.
May 12, 2015
No More Spring!
It's too warm. Where does the weather get off, am I
right? Probably. I have about a 60% track record of being right.
I'll take those odds any day of the week. Except for Monday and Wednesday.
Monday and Wednesday are dead to me. Yeesh. School entry. Most
likely the last one of this semester. As far as I'm concerned, the weather
sold out. Winter was great, but what's with this Spring crap?
Clearly just pandering to Hipster Brooklyn Coffee Tofu Seaweed. I don't
like it. Don't like it one bit. I'm sweating like a mother
fucker. That's no fun. So I got presentation in Yoga, final in
English on Thursday, then it's time to party like it's 1999. I don't get
that expression. People in 1999 weren't that great partiers. Not
from my experience. People from 1999 were always in AOL chatrooms full of
my sixth grade friends. I'm pretty sure that was a universal experience of
what we all went through at the turn of the century. Who knows for sure,
though. Anyway. Let's school it up. I'm already here, that was
the hard part. Man. Where am I.
Right, right. Whassup. Stupid living at home.
Dorming has got to be better, right? Right? Stupid website, never
responding to me. What else. Gotta do something. What
nonsense. What else. I wanna write this entry. Stop standing
in my way! I wanna go home! That's how that goes! What else!
Meh. If I was giving a mediocre review of methamphetamine, I'd title it, "Meh-th."
How about that. I'm fucking brilliant. I'm the bee's gee's.
BG is a pretty good chord progression. I got no problem with BG. Is
AF better? Probably. What else is goin' on. I don't know my
yoga moves. Probably stressed out about that. Oh well. When is
Paul Blart: Attack of the Blarts coming out on DVD. I can't wait,
personally. I have a phantom headache. I have the symptoms of a head
ache except for my head aching. Oop, there it goes. I spoke too
soon, I guess. Whatta crap. I wonder if Bill Gates gets royalties
from people living in gated communities, or the revenue from The Gate, the
movie, or Paul Blart: Microblart. Blart instead of soft. We've all
been there, am I right? Right? Most likely I am-- 60% track record.
What if I had to make a playlist for a track meeting. A song from The
Get Up Kids, Four Minute Mile album, obviously. Run Away by Weezer,
or Runaways by The Killers, or Runaway by Linkin Park. Hell, let's include
all of them. That's four songs. Wouldn't Momma Be Proud? by
Elliott Smith, it includes the lyric, Kid, You're on the right track.
A Run-DMC song, Now we got six. I think there's a Ben Kweller
song called Run or Running or something of that nature. Seven songs now.
Yep. That's what you came here to read.No backsies! The BeatlesAll You Need Is Run.
Eight songs. Weezer'sRun Over By a Truck, back to real
songs. Yeh. What else is crappening. I wrote the Hell out of
my final paper in half an hour. because I'm a hero. Good for me and
stuff. Bruce Springsteen'sBorn To Run. That's what,
nine real ones? Gotta think of one more. I can't let you down, not
now, not now that I'm so close to accomplishing something. Run For Your
Life? That's a song, right? I wanna say by Black Sabbath or Iron
Maiden. Wait, no. Run For The Hills. Let's see who did it...
... Iron Maiden. I'm a genius! Kneel before Zod! How can you
have your Zod before you've had your kneel. Cod before your meal.
Peapods. Matzo. 'Za. If I ever meet someone who calls pizza, "Za,"
I'm gonna punch them in the mouth. Deal before Nod. That's about a
heroin addict who deals to support his habit. It's heroin addictioning,
you wouldn't understand.
I don't understand. The closest to doing heroin I've
come is not doing heroin. That sums that up. But, yeah, I've had
that drug that puts me to sleep within 5 seconds before my ECT treatment, and to
be honest, it was pretty great. I haven't done it in two years, though.
Also, there was that time I smoked that heroin. Eh. It's possible
I've smoked it by accident. Who knows. Not I. Within.
Heroin. Close enough. What else and Crap. Running Out of Time.
Hot Hot Heat. Anyway hi, it's lunch. I knew I'd have lunch today!
I'm a genie us. What would I wish for if I had three wishes. No
wishing for unlimited wishes, that's played out and no respectable genie would
allow that. I want a million wishes! Then he punches you in
the mouth and says,Get real. I'm docking you one wish for that
crap. I want unlimited wishes! How about this, we'll just say
you wished to stop being such the asshole that you are and move on with our
lives. If I did have three wishes, though? Probably ask for more
songs to play at a track meeting, that's first of all. I don't know.
Whatever. What else and crap. Also, turns out my English final is
next week, so it's one more class session than what I thought, but it's more
time to think about studying. I gotta make progress with my life, and I'm
not sure dorming is the answer. to be honest, I forgot the question.
Probably something about this delicious 'Za. I don't know. At least dorming isa answer. Better
than nothing.Can I use my fifty-fifty? Let's check
with the judges. Also, where am I. School, right, right. If I
lived in a cafeteria I'd be home by now. If I was home right now I'd go to
sleep. If I was a sleep, I'd dream about being in a cafeteria. Such
is life, one would imagine. Yeesh. Pre-yoga now. Sweatin'
bullets. Pumped Up Kicks.Outrun my gun. Anyway,
huh? What else. Either along the lines of running songs or a new
topic. I don't know why we'd stop talking about the topic of the year,
track and field songs, but I guess it's unfortunately a real possibility.
Can't go wrong with listing songs. That's entertainment at it's finest.
Yeesh. What else. I don't know. Gotta finish this entry and
crap. What else. I think the early class is ending an hour early.
WhattamIsupposedtodo. I'm not good in the clutch. Damn. Okay
they're not ending. Fine by me. I might be playing my music as
background for our Yoga-izing. Probably not, but I did prepare two 20
minute playlists, one of acoustic songs, one of electric songs. And
another one of Running Songs. It's a story that must be told. In
playlist form. The Santa guy was at the Pizza Kiosk, but as one of the
servers.You're wasting this guys best attributes! Put him
where he belongs you jerks! Some people, am I right. Some
people. Yes, go on, some people what? Huh? Wha?
Eh? Get off my case. I shoulda brought a sweat rag with me.
Always bring a sweat rag! That's rule one of everything. see ya
May 8, 2015
One Title To Rule
Hey guys and other things! I wanna say girls.
Pretty sure I've opened up an entry that way before. Oh well, don't
mess with perfection. Anyway, Hi! What else is going on. Still
on the fence about dorming. I'm not sick but I'm not well, in other words.
One reason I'm a little hesitant is because a girl was giving some sort of
presentation in English class, using the computer, and I saw her screen name was
blahblahblahwhatever95. Ninety Five? You're fuckin' young.
And that makes her like a sophomore or junior! I don't wanna be a creep.
I also don't want to not have sex. So you can see the predicament I'm in.
I mean, if it's all about friendship, it's not so bad. I can be like a
Funzo that creates Fun wherever he goes, even though he's a bit older.
They'll go, Look, There's Funzo! What Fun Does He Have In Store For
Us!! What was I talking about. I forget. Something about
being hesitant to take advantage of young ladies. I mean, being in class
with them, I don't really feel like there's much of a social difference.
When they were kids, there was a war in Iraq. When I was a kid, there was
a war in Iraq. We've got so much in common. They've never played
Sega Genesis, though. Why, I bet they have no idea who Sonic The Hedgehog
really is. What does sound have to do with hedgehoging. I don't get
it one bit. Also, let's be clear. The first Iraq war was in 1991.
I was two years old. I don't remember it that well. The first
politics news I clearly remember was Monica Lewinsky. And, as my fifth
grade self, thinking,Break me off a piece of that! Not
really.I can almost remember the 1996 election, because I can
remember watching the Simpsons Halloween episode where they spoof it when it was
new. Is anyone listening to me?
I'll regale them with stores about Dolly, the cloned sheep.
About how there was a group of women called The Spice Girls who captured the
public's imagination. About how a Cuban kid found his way to America, and
then back to Cuba again. I could choose to dorm with graduate students.
But I don't wanna be associated with those creeps. What are they doing in
a college dorm? Makes no sense. I mean, to be honest, I've taken
four or five classes over the last year. Socially, I feel 100% comfortable
with these kids, probably because I haven't grown socially since I was
nineteen. Also, because I'm short. Don't know exactly
how that effects the equation, but it's safe to assume it does. Also, I
was gonna check off, on the dorm form, that I want to dorm near Freshman,
because I figured they would be more desperate for friends. But, I
figured, with my age, that's still creepy, even if I wanted it for a reasonable
cause. So, I ain't checkin' off shit. Playin' a little game of Dorm
Roulette. Which is where you eat fried chicken in the dorm. Also,
de-activate my Facebook. I don't need these jerks to know I have no
friends. Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth
and remove all doubt. Apply that to the internet, and it basically means,
Stay off the internet. I'm all about being foolish, though.
Maybe it's high time we change that. Also, where am I. Home, right,
right. That's usually how it goes.
Halibut that. Did you know in Alaska, they use all
of the Alaskan. And they have forty different words for forty. Forty
different words for snow, psh. We have unlimited words for
different numbers. Unlimited. Bet you feel pretty foolish now,
Alaska, don't you? Mike Gravel. What a loser. What else
and crap. Lunch when this shit is done. That's great. I wonder
how great lunch will be in Dorm. Probably pretty great. And I can
force people to Lunch with me, otherwise I'll human centipede them. I have
the technology. See, college is all about lunch. Listen up, I've
done this once or twice. Why isn't there a Chipotle on campus.
What are they, idiots? Anyway, let's move on. What else and crap.
What else and crap. I don't get what the big deal is with Monica Lewinsky.
All presidents have a history of sleeping with their slaves. Ain't nothin'
new there. Also, I'm lying like Hell on my dorm application. Quiet
or out going? Outgoing! Morning or night person? Night
Person! Hey, dress for the job you want, no the job you have. I
heard that somewhere in a thing. What else and crap. They oughtta be
clear, on the form, where it asks if you smoke or don't smoke. Cigarettes
or marijuana, you idiots. Nobody know what you mean! Nobody! Either
way, I'm checkin' off not smoke, because I'm gonna use the opportunity to try to
quit cigarettes, and it's for the best if I don't smoke marijuana.
See, I'm a hero by taking summer dorming. Quitting
cigarettes? We'resaving money. Or, at the very least,
I can buy cartons for underage kids and make a nice profit. Going to jail
doesn't scare me. I've been to hospital. Either way, I'm a hero.
That's what I want you to take away from this. The kid who I exchanged
band camp profiles with a few days ago, his band is called,Last Great
Hero. I listened to a couple of songs? Hero? Hardly.
Great? No way. Last? I sure hope not. Unless if it's
the other definition of Last. In that case, I sure hope so. His
band name is trippin' me up! Wha, that's not supposed to happen!
Anyway, dorming. Gotta do something. That's what I've been led to
believe. Shit, I have some crap to do this weekend. Write four pages
of final paper. Figure out how to do warrior poses, history for all the
poses in Yoga, because I figured out I can kill a bunch of time talking about
the history of the poses, instead of actually doing them, because I'm a genius.
Figure out what songs to use. My first instinct was El Scorcho by Weezer,
because he has a line in it, "Press Table," and Table is a Yoga pose. And
I would figure out other songs that mention yoga poses. I think he
meant press table, like, a table for the press. Ha! What a rube!
Pink Triangle for Triangle Pose. Falling For You for Taking a Step Back.
Butterfly for Downward Dog. It turns out I'm just gonna play the second
half of Pinkerton. Either way, I'm a hero. Yep. Whattado,
whattado. Got three weeks to do crap before dorm. You know, like
start second guessing whether I should dorm. I figure that should take up
a nice chunk of time. See ya later.
May 7, 2015
You Titlin' To Me?
Whassup party people. here with another sublime school
entry. Is it going to be great? I don't know. Probably.
There's a decent chance, I guess. What else. Should be good.
What else and crap. I'm kind of in no-man's-land, in terms of my life.
Dorming, assuming I do, would instigate a whole new chapter of my life,
probably, or something like that. And, just like Vanessa Angel, I'm a fan
of new beginnings. But what am I supposed to do before then? I got
nothin' goin' on! Yeesh. Crap and shit. That's about it.
What else and crap. It's the penultimate day of classes for spring term.
I wrote a bunch of crazysheet. Life well spent! Anyway, jeez.
What's in the news. I don't know, I stopped watching T.V. I got
better things to do. Like walk in a circle and recite the alphabet ad
nausem. It'll pay ff one day, you'll see. I need to decide how
honest to be with party people about my illness. Probably just tell them,
if I have to say anything, it's about depression and/or anxiety. They
don't need to know anything else. Great. Depression, huh?
Well, I guess you'll be the life of the party!Yeah I will you
no-good sarcastic bastard. We'll see who the real party person is.
None of this is going to happen. I'm gonna have an anxiety attack the week
before dorming starts and decide to stay home. Stupid anxiety attacks.
Doesn't anxiety know I've got bigger fish to fry? Like filet of sole.
I got filet of soul, but I'm not a Filet of soldier. It's Indie
Rock music, you wouldn't understand.
Yep indeed. What crapdom. What else.Here, There Were Three sentences I cannot read at all
Need contact lenses, either way. That's
good. I should trick people in thinking I'm an R.A. I don't know
why. I wish I was blind. Blind people got it easy. Get someone
to see for them, whatta scam. Yeesh. Gotta figure out before I make
a decision. And figuring shit out is my greatest weakness, in general.
Too bad, I guess. We'll see. I feel more comfortable crapping at
Queens College than I do at home. If that isn't a sign I should dorm, I
don't know what is. Besides the No Right Dorm on Red. That's a
pretty straight forward sign. Seventy five days and nights. that's a
buncha time. Whattadoo, whattado. If I do dorm, I would probably
take a break from crazysheet, and probably writing music. Just time to
relax without all this crap. Unlees if I meet fellow musician at Dorm and
jam with them. That's one of my dorm fantasies. Who knows.
Gotta get my shit together. One would imagine and crap. Still here,
writin' bullshit. I've gained twenty pounds over the last half year.
That kinda sucks. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. The point is,
don't matter whether you win or lose, the law of averages dictate that your next
go around will even yourself out. That's what I take away from that
colloquialism. Because being stupid is what I'm all about. Hey, it
turns out I have class next Thursday, too. And a final! No fair.
Uh-oh. Whatta crapdom.
Anyway, class is over. I can do this. Relate to
other people. Get myself out of my head a little bit. Why not.
I'm an adult. More or less, one would imagine. Anyway, it's time to
poke more holes in the logic of Eminem songs. Man does he like letting
us know who he is. In my life, at least, he was the first music I
would listen to where I actually felt I could relate to the songs.
Something lit up, sorta. I guess, simply, he was my first favorite music
artist, but it's more than that. he made music relatable to me. And,
if he's reading this, I hope you know I took all your posters off the wall!
Great, whatever. Him, and Mystikal. Hey, I want girls to shake
their asses, too! We have so much in common! Yeesh. Where
was I. It would have been interesting if Stan sent a letter to Eminem
saying, You better lose yourself man, in the music, the moment, you own it,
never let it go. They we'd have a lawsuit on our hands. I'm goin'
through this pizza fast. I'm gonna head home after this paragraph.
Man. A life without crazysheet. I gotta grow up some day, why not
make that someday in 3 and a half weeks? Man, I can't stop thinking about
all the ways I can trick people into being my friend. Every person is
unique, and it takes a particular scheme to gain each person's friendship.
I gotta think about what chant to do on opening day. "Let's-Have-Fun!"
Pretty simple and straightforward, that's the way to go when it comes to chants.
"Let's-Go-Mets! I Mean, Let's-Go-Meet-Each-Other!"
Where was I. Oh, right, school. Where am I.
Home. Great. Gotta keep you updated on the deetz. So whassup.
Why aren't I in a fantasy baseball league. I want to be in a fantasy
baseball league. Too late for that, now. It's gotta be on my bucket
list, or something, though? Would have to get started several months in
advance, but that's okay. I remember I used to like keeper leagues, having
won my keeper league three years in a row. But now, the idea of a keeper
league nauseates me. Sure, you can pick right the first year, and you'll
look smart. Maybe the next year, the success carries over. But,
sooner or later, your #1 picks won't be playing like #1's and someone else's
will. The probability that your guys will be great, year after year, is
pretty low. Don't get me started. I have a lot of strong
opinions. Mostly about fantasy baseball, but still, good to have a mind of
things. Also, Head to Head? Whatever, I could care less.
Head to Head is the G rated version of the scene in Requiem For a Dream.
Yup. Head to head is what they call it in fantasy sports where each week,
your team faces off against one other team, and you gain points based on which
statistics you are better than him. The alternate way is rotisserie which
is where you eat fried chicken. Glad I could clear things up for you.
Colonial Sanders. Sherman. 40 acres and a mule. I wish I had 40
acres and a mule. I'd be infinitely higher up the economic food chain if
only I had 40 acres and a mule. I had a science teacher is middle school
named Dr. Arce. That's where I got the 4 on a test. I can only
imagine the frustration where the Microsoft Paperclip Guy asks her for the ten
thousandth time, "Did you mean to say Dr. Acre?" Which is
particularly upsetting, because, logically, he should have picked up by now she
doesn't. Personally, I think he's saying it just to be a sarcastic,
condescending, dick. A sarcastic dick. That's when you get hard
Last paragraph, I guess. Whatever. I gotta take a
test in English. Out of the three books I need to have read, I've read
none of them. On the midterm, she lulled us into a sense of lullability by
having a sub, who said we could cheat. Now, she's gonna be there, and I'm
ill prepared! It's her fault! How was I supposed to know I
had to do the assignments. I should just get up thirty seconds in, dust
off my hands, and hand in a blue book that just says, "Why Not?" and
then at the bottom, "A' Please, Like From Internet?" It's not a
terrible plan. Wait, no. Yes it is. I sometimes get, "not
terrible" and, "terrible," confused. Primarily in this paragraph, but
yeah. Hey, another entry in the book. And another day closer to
potential Dormitorying. Dorito Maury Ing. That's the kind of clever
quips I'll be offering anyone who dare set foot in my common room. I saw a
picture of a common room and it seemed kind of small. That won't do, that
won't do at all. Just gonna have to move all the furniture into the
hallway. It's win/win/win. I should cover my entire bed room walls
with cork board. And they all say, All Cork Board and No Play Makes...
Whatever wanna hear some quips? In England, they use quips as
currency. True story. Except for the part about it being true.
It's not really much of a story, either, I guess. That how that go.
Oh well, it's gonna be just like when I was in NYU! We'll go watch
Superbad and another reference or two, one would imagine. I think I saw
Superbad with my high school friends, actually. It's hard to remember
specifics; I was high. I remember that specific. The greatest
specific that could be specific. See ya later and crap.
May 5, 2015
No Title Is Good Title!
Hello Cinco De Mayo fans. We're one five short of any
phone number referenced in film or T.V. How fascinating. One would
imagine. So, I talked to my therapist about dorming over the summer.
She was enthusiastically for it, while both my parents have reservations about
me making reservations for the dorm while listening to, "Reservations," by Wilco
on a loop. But, yeah, there's a good chance it might actually happen.
Gotta do something. And my opportunities for sex would increase
exponentially! Anyway. It's not gonna be easy. It'll be on me
to bring the party. It's possible. I guess. Yeesh. Today
is class entry. How wonderful. Dial M For Murder. I bet
after that movie, there was an epidemic of people dialing, "M," to talk to the
movie, overloading the control board. Control Board. That's a decent
guess as to how telephones worked fifty year ago. Just a bunch of plugging and
unplugging. That how that go. "Yes, is this M? I'd like to
speak to murder, please." WWhat an idiot. When everyones
moving in on move in day, I'm gonna try to start a chant of, 'Let's-Be-Friends!
Let's-Be-Friends!" and if that doesn't work, maybe the wave.
"Let's-Be-Friends," non-stop. That's what Nonstop was about. The
never ending semi sarcastic search for friends. Anyway. Do I wanna
be a Jay Baruchel, a Seth Rogen, or an Other guy. All of the above,
please! And have sex with Rachel while Lizzy watches. Oh, man.
Anyway, what else and crap. I'm gonna bring the party.
I'll be a hero. They'll build a statue. You know, to commemorate me.
Sure, they'll say it's for Grover Cleveland, but everyone whose in the loop
would know. I had a dream I found an older generation iPod on my walk.
And I was like, Oh, that's cool, let's see what songs they got.
Fascinating. I just fell asleep again. If you dream you're talking
about a dream, you're actually, I don't know, who cares. I just fell
asleep deeper. I'm Inceptioning myself, or something. I tried
watching that once and it made absolutely no sense to me. Anyway.
I'm twenty seven in a few months! You know, the age to dorm in college?
Get with it! It's bad, though. Because in my mind dorming would be
like taking a break from much of my symptoms. And even if that is true,
they'll still be there when I get back. You know what they say,
Put Off To Tomorrow What You Don't Wanna Do Today. Anyway, what if I'm
shy and awkward.No way that happens. I'm a party machine.
They based The Terminator on me, back when the script was still about a Party
Robot. Anyway, if all else fails,alcohol. The
Social Lubricant! Gotta buy like three 12 packs of beer on opening day,
and they'll flock like flies to shit. I'm a genius! Opening
Day. Hopefully I win my first ten dorm games. Then lose a
bunch. Just like my baseball heroes. I'd be playing My Name Is Jonas
on Guitar Hero and tear my ACL.
Anyway, Lunch To The Future. I think I should be more
comfortable socializing than the last time I dormed based on how I'm so used to
entertaining the voices in y head. I knew dementia would pay off
eventually! But, I mean, really. A decent chance I'll have sex?
Holy Moses watta probability! I traded bandcamp pages with the guy sitting
next to me in English. Great minds sit alike, it turns out. Yeesh.
Gotta pace myself eating before Yoga. Hey, Sex Might Happen.
Great Grandfather of Gardenias! And we have private rooms! People
must be fucking like bunnies! I remember in Mario 64, in-between worlds, I
think only one chance ever per cartridge, you have to try to capture a
bunny. I never got him, and lost my chance. I still won the game,
eventually, but I can't help but wonder how I might have lost out by not
catching that damn bunny. That may have been a dream I had twelve years
ago. Playing Mario 64 was a dream, the first console game to be played
in 3-D. I never heard of such a thing! What else and crap. I
accidentally went to the bathroom while a classmate was already there. So,
we were walking back together, and I, of course, started walking at 1/8th the
speed. I had to. It may have confused him, possibly, but I had no
choice. Anyway, huh? What else and crap. That's just
guy-code-etiquette. And I'm a guy who like code. The etiquette kind.
That's me. Yeesh.
Pre-Yoga now, for two paragraphs. Stupid voices.
Now That's Entertainment. Enter taint ment. Look at him
go! Yeesh and what else. One more week of clizzass, or so I have
been led to believe. Nine year\s almost. Nine years since my
Freshman year. And my mind set is more or less exactly the same.
I'll have a ton of friends! I'll make wondrous progress with my music and
comedy! I'll do drugs! Well, one of those came true.
Can't complain about that. I'm not doin' drugs this time around, though.
Alcohol, sure. But other stuff? I know my limits. I also know
my attributes. 5'2 145 pounds. There was another guy my height at
the pizza kiosk. He's old and bald, though. I feel like you can
almost get away with being short if you're youthful and vibrant. Old an
bald? What an asshole, I'm assuming. If he wasn't an asshole, why
did he choose to be short and middle aged? He's making people look
down on him, literally, for some sick pleasure. He disgusts me.
Where does he get off? Probably lower than most people. Stupid
height tawk. Life is weird, one would imagine. I don't know what
else. Nobody cares. I don't care. You sure don't. I
don't make the rules. I don't break the rules. I am the
rules. I used to have a Ben Kweller song on my iTunes called, "The Tules."
Looking back, I realize it probably was a misspelling. For years, though,
I just figured, there's a song called The Tules. Which is what the band
Tool called themselves originally, I'm told.
Last paragraphizzle. Yup. What else and crap.
Whattado, whattado. Life is full of choices. Choose right, you're
the bees knees. Chose wrong, Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Two Hundred
Dollars. Monopoly is weird. You can just randomly go to jail.
But I didn't do anything. C'mon, you know what you did. You
rolled the dice. If that doesn't implicate you, I don't know what does.
Also, I don't know what does. Yeesharoni. I smelt macaroni last
night for no apparent reason. I know when you're having a heart attack,
you smell toast. So I just figure, if I'm smelling macaroni I have, I
don't know, Gonorrhea. I don't make the rules. And I don't break the
rules. Who doesn't play with Free Parking Money. Who are these
animals. He's saying what we're all thinking! Also, He Is Me!
Thanks for the assist, me! I make a good team... Yeesh, what else.
Whattado. Hey, wanna climb the stairs with me? That's a fun dorm
activity. "Let's be friends to the end! Hi-di-ho!"
Whose that, Flanders?NO you idiot. Get out of my
common room with that bullshit. It would be weird if Rod and Todd were my
roommates. Nobody wants that. Cause they're too young. Don't
belong in college.They're only too young as I am too old.
Wha? Huh?Get out of my common room! I need to figure
this stuff out before I decide 100% what to do. Would my age be a factor?
I don't know. I'm in my mid twenties, which is practically early twenties,
which is what on all your fake ID.s Makes sense to me. See ya later.
May 1, 2015
Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones, But Titles Can Never Hurt Me
Can sticks really break your bones? Stones, sure, if
they're boulderish. But sticks? Man are your bones brittle.
Anyway, new month. Alternating it back to white on black. The orig.
Inal. That's Weird Al's album where he parodies the songs he grew up with.
The Origin Al. Make it happen! It's like a triple entendre.
That's the most entendre I've ever heard of. Anyway. Put out a new
album of unreleased songs, from last Summer to Fall. They're mostly 2/3rds
good. Each song is almost decent, but has one thing going against it.
Whether it's the lyrics, the singing, whatever. That's what Greatest Hits
albums are for. For releasing your shitty songs with the justification
that it's not a real album. I think Greatest Hits albums are for your
greatest hits. Ha! What a rube! Anyway, I meant to say
unreleased songs album. That's a thing, too. Everybody does it.
Like a, "Best Of," The Crap That Got Left Over. Why am I still talking
about this. I lost interest two paragraphs ago. HowOldRobot.
Pssh. I'm old enough not to listen to robots. They can't be trusted.
Have you seen Short Circuit? First it's guessing our age, then it's the
right to vote. Greatest Hits album. You know, those three songs
that one person commented positively on? I should release a Greatest
Hits album with just one track, 0:00 long, entitled, "Pbltttt."You
know, short for the Professional Bowling ltttt.Youtube sent
me an e-mail saying, "Way To Go, Michael, your video is now on youtube!"
That's the most positive feedback I've gotten, ever.
Youtube's on the ball. They get it. May, huh?
Never woulda guessed. I'm gonna see The Avenue Germans either today or
tomorrow. Because I like fun. Anyway, huh the huh? Wha?
Jelly beans? I've never liked jelly beans. I never liked jelly, and
I didn't use to like beans. A double negative makes a positive.
Logically, you should like jelly beans. Logically you're stupid.
I'm stupid, I mean. Who ever said that italicization is stupid. And
it was me. If I remember correctly. Anyway huh? Wha the what.
Let's entry it up. Maybe hi. That'll get me started. What's
up. Hello there. That's a good way to get it started.
Salutations! Welcome. EH. Yeesh. I gotta have things to
say, right? I've had things to say for a good year and ahalf. That's
half this incarnation of crazysheet! 50% decent. I'll take those
odds. Same odds Two Face gives you. And he's a reputable person to
aspire to duplicate. I feel bad for Two Face in the Christopher Nolan
incarnation. He was bad for five minutes. Never got to do anything.
I forget how he died. In my mind, it's basically just Batman tackling him,
and then he dies when he hits the ground. Something like that happened.
Anyway. I discovered summer housing, from June to mid August, around 75 days, is
only 2,000 dollars. That's a fraction of what I get from Social Security!
There's a good 25-30% chance I can convince my parents to let me do it.I'm twenty six. I need to get out of my parents house, even if it's
only for two and a half months. It would be incalculably good for me.
Just like how death is incalculably bad for the younger version of me. I generally get 400$ in birthday and Chanukah money,
combined from my parents and uncle/aunt. I still have 200$ left over from
last year. This year, another $400. 200$ saved from not metrocarding
it up back and forth. It's a bargain, it is! I've heard there's not
much going on in the dorms, but I can change that. I'll take it upon me
that it's my responsibility to turn it into party central. Pretty
straightforward. Just talk to everybody all the time. I can do it
under the cover of sharing my music. Hand them a paper with the link to my
music, then also give my room number, saying to stop by day or night, and we'll
party. Not cocaine party, as it is called in general lexicon. You
know, alcoholic party. Everybody can get behind that. Then, I'll be
famous for starting the party in the dorm, forever. Michael was a hero,
people will say. I'm the Founding Father of Fun. None of
this is going to happen. Shut up! It ain'tyour face
on Mount Funmore. It's me, Nate Ruess, and two other references.Stop by, day or night. A thousand dollars for two and a half
months of potential fun. I'll take those odds. Better than what Two
Face is gonna give you, I can tell you that. I'm getting way ahead of
myself. None of this will happen. But you can imagine what it
would be like if it did, am I right? Wha, you don't care about the details
of my personal life? It doesn't effect you in the least? You're just
reading this with a blank stare on your face, waiting for it to end?
Cool. Just for that, you're not invited to any of my alcohol
parties. You're cut off! I have to decide which Seinfeld character I
wanna be like. Let's rule out Elaine. George? I can do that,
it's fun, I don't know how many friends I'm gonna make. Jerry? It's
a nice role to have, but you gotta build up that respect that people look at you
as a Jerry, I couldn't do that quick enough for it to last two and a half
months. Kramer? Harder than it looks. Wha? I have
no idea how or why that riff happened. That's college for ya!
Where was I. Oh yeah, fantasizing about what will never happen.
That's actually a pretty big part of my life in general, always has been.
I remember in high school, pondering the duality of either living life dreaming,
or in reality. You can live hoping for the best, imagining the best,
aspiring to the best. Or you can learn to be happy with what you really
have going on. I think I always tend to go towards reality. Or, at
least, in theory. In theory reality is better, to me. Sometimes it's
easier to live in dreamland, though. No one wants to hear this crap.
They'll leave five minutes into my alcohol party! Ugh. This ain't
gonna happen. I did just have a fifteen minute potential-friend-gasm,
though. It was fun! And hey, 10% chance it happens. I'll take
You can imagine what it'd be like if I did, though, right?
I sure can. Surely. Kansas. Canned corn. Candid Camera.
Wrath of Khan. Star Trek. That's a good way to make friends.
Just do Michael Scott for two and a half months. Hah. Seinfeld.
I remember that thing. Whenever someone comes by to party, I should say, "Hello
Newman." Then they'll get that I'm Jerry right away, and act
accordingly. Anyway, huh. I managed to eek out another entry.
Good for me, I guess. See ya later.