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Tuesday, June 30, 2020

No I'm Not

    True story.  Anyway, Spidermen is not available on DisneyPlus.  I guess I'll have to rely on my memory to know what Spiderman is all about.  Hmm Microsoft Frontpage recognizes Spiderman as a word.  Talk about WEB... something... websites and Spiderman shoots webs... gimme me a moment...  Microsoft FrontPage, the program for making websites, recognizes Spiderman as a word.  Talk about... something... websites and Spiderman shoots webs... gimme a moment...  Anyway Carl Reiner has died just as I predicted and I will youtube Carl Reiner for 20-60 minutes at some point later to day to See What Carl Reiner Is All About Because He's Not Available On DisneyPlus for some reason.  Sure he was a secret Avenger.  Not so secret now.
Once you're dead all your Super Hero Alter Identities become a matter of public record.  That seems like a reasonable way to go about things.  I read that one book where Carl Reiner shows up a bunch.  The Neil Armstrong book.  Neil Brenner.  Neil... what's his name... he was friends with Sitcoms... Neil Simon?  Oh right Norman Lear.  But Neil Simon was part of their SuperGroup of Friends, too.  I presume this was a Doctor Sleep scenario and Carl Reiner read me talking about him and I lulled him into being comfortable about his imminent Death.  I don't LOVE that my life turned out to be I'm Doctor Sleep but It's nice to be SOMETHING.
I think Doctor Sleep is a good FatherSon movie.  There's a scene near the end where Grown Up Danny AKA Doctor Sleep talks with his Dad who has now been a ghost at The Shining Hotel for the last 30 or 40 years.  And the Dad sort of lost track of his identity and he's just well I'm the caretaker or bartender here or something, he doesn't recognize his son.  But his son has a conversation with him like well this is what I've been up to, crazy right, good to see you, it really is, hope being a ghost works out for you alright gtg.  Something along those lines, right.  Anyway I think the entire Doctor Sleep Book/Movie is a scam because he has a Cat which is a main character in the story and they call the cat Azzy.  I called my cat Azzy!  Her name was ASLAN GET OVER IT WHATTA SCAM.  Apparently Wikipedia says Azzy is short for Azrael.  And I guess I, "Buy," that but it still reeks of Scamming.  My favorite part of Normal Lear's life was that he just chain-smoked The ENTIRE Day.  That sounds like fun!  Anyway how old is Norman Lear now.  Is he the next to go?  That Suckers 97 years old.  Plus I hear he used to chain-smoke all day.  Hmm good for him.  Gotta imagine that'll pay off in the long run.
    I guess he's next.
  WAIT TWO 97 YEAR OLDS JUST HAPPEN TO DIE WITHIN SEVERAL YEARS OF ME VERY GENERALLY REFERENCING THEM?  WHAT ARE THE ODDS?  Anyway I was looking into Elliptical Machines and there are Elliptical Machines that are like 1/2 the size of normal Elliptical Machines so they fit into tight places but also the Strides are different!  Fascinating.  Anyway, for the majority of my cats life, I thought of her as my cat.  I named her.  I enjoyed her company.  She kind of enjoyed mine!  Then one day I saw a picture of my brother holding her when he was younger, and I dunno if it was jealousy or spite or what, but after Just Looking At A Picture I was like FINE HE CAN HAVE HER FUCK THEM BOTH.  And since that, both my brother and my cat have been dead to me. Well, mainly just my cat.  And she's dead to Everybody on account of being dead.  Except for Kirk Douglas and Carl Reiner.  They exist on the same astral plane.  Hmm, so maybe now she's Their cat?  Well now they're ALL ULTRA-DEAD to me!
I think it takes gumption to name your kid a name where the first letter is a sound alliteration as the last name.  Rob Reiner.  I think its stylish, I'm definitely 100% on board, but that's a specific decision you're making.  You don't make a Rob Reiner without thinking Alright doubling down on the, "R," sound.  And it works!  What could I name my son.  Chris?  Nope.  Carlos?  Nope.  Kris?  Nope.  Christ?  Nope.  Kenny?  We'll put that in the maybe pile.  Nah I don't like these K's or C's.  It works for other people but not for me & my son!  I feel very strongly about this for some reason.  Also the initials KK are the start of something Not So Great. 



Don't Worry About It

    Yeah!  Watched a solid 7 or 8 minutes so far of Carl Reiner:The Man Who Was Alive Up Until Very Recently.  Seems like a Guy of Guys.  What else is going on in Crapworld.  Bad Democrat won primary in Kentucky.  Wisconsin Court gave the green light to anti-mail in ballots and/or other voter suppression.  Democratic Climate Committee plan for global warming is woefully underwhelming.  There are Polls that aren't as fun as some other polls have been.  But the good news is I dunno I forget.  Oh, right.  There are mini Elliptical Machines that I can fit that in half a dozen places in my house provided I get rid of one of half a dozen things.
    That paragraph is the last I'll speak of those things!  For at least the next few half hours!  None of that stuff is that bad.  I mean, at leas we're all still ali... oh wait, right.  Also in what fuckin' universe was/is Carl Reiner part of all of us here at crazysheet?  Some other, More Wrong, universe.  That's my guess, at least.  Can't say for certain.  But I'd definitely err on the side of caution and disbelief and scrutiny and hey what else is going on in this paragraph.  The point is a lot of fake people talk to me In My Head but as far as I know never Carl Reiner.  Maybe he'll start now, now that he's a full out ghost.  I dunno I'll keep you updated on this situation as it progresses.
Looks like I gotta cook some Spaghetti tonight.  Which will pair well with my Mom cooking Tomato Sauce and Meatballs.  Sorta a nice, happy coincidence that we both are gonna end up doing those things at roughly the same time!  As for lunch, I'm thinkin' that ham sandwich and beef barle soup I've been coveting for some time.  Coveting hardcore!  Oh, right, Carl Kornblum.  I like the sound of that.  Seems like a, "Chill," kid to have.  Maybe spell it, "Karl," though.  Reminds me of Karl Pilkington.  Who seems like a, "Chill," kid to have.  His intelligence would be Pretty Great And On The Ball for an eight year old.  Alright we're putting Karl into the maybe pile! 
    I saw there's a new Flu comin' out soon from China Animals.  They think its gonna have a lot of cross-over potential.  I don't have much to say about that it's Just Accurate As Far As I Know.  It's accurate that I saw it.  It's not accurate in that It Is Accurate In And Of Itself.  Such is life.  The point is the entire time watching Guardians of the Galaxy II I was confusing Kurt Russell with Jeff Bridges.  Now you know my Secret Shame.  I was like hmm this is kind of a reprisal for Jeff Bridges he played some sort of Starman before LMLTURQ...  Yep, "Starman," Yup 100% accurate!  Also before seeing oh right Kurt Russell while googling it, I was reminded Jeff Bridges played some other part in Iron Man I and my first instinct was like Yeah but he came back to play another character later in the franchise?  Right?  For Fun?  Maybe they're connected in some way?  Turns out Nope such is life. 
    What else is crappening.  Generic Congress Ballot is way down for Democrats!  Down to 7.7% lead instead of 7.9% as I last saw!  That's a pretty steep drop off.  Oh well such is life.  Whose Winning the Covid-19 Projection Polls.  I assume they're just polling people regarding Future Covid Cases & Death  A)what would you guess will happen B)what would you prefer C)what do you think OTHERS would project and/or prefer?  That's how science works now.  OOh well such is life!  When my parents broke the news to me, I was like what did Carl Reiner die of and one of 'em I FORGET WHICH was like well old age and I was like hey lets talk about it nobody DIES of old age, am I right?  There are complications mainly due to being an old fuck, but its not like ooop just turned 98 and 213/365ths time for my body to shut down.  Let's TALK about it.  We wish his family the best of luck.



We're Thinking Of Different Things

    That'd be my guess.  Well Democrats just bested Republicans in a Generic Congress Poll 51% to 37% and FiveThirtyEight's average just jumped to a fuckin' 9.2% lead!  And I was happy chillin' around 8%!  I dunno how 1 poll made the thing jump so high BUT I AIN'T ARGUIN' WAY TO GO GENERIC CONGRESS POLLS!  Polls, what fun.  Figured I might as well keep you updated is the point.  Also Biden doing well vs Trump in General National Polling.  Also he's doing well in state polls!  Also there are other polls!  We're talkin, senate polls, governor polls, INDIVIDUAL congress polls.  It's all the thrill of compulsive gambling but you don't lose any money!  Also eatin' me That Soup and 1/2 A Sandwich!  Now we're talking Great LunchTime.
What else is going on and crap.  The point is did Carl Reiner serve in World War II?  Probably!  Still no match for Jon Favreau, who served in Iron Man II.  Probably!  Oh that Jon Favreau, he's so money and he don't even know it!  Yep Carl Reiner served in WWII.  FULL DISCLOSURE I TYPED THAT SENTENCE BEFORE DOUBLE CHECKING IT.  That's how confident I am that he did!  YEP HE DID!  I'm not 100% on Trump's big play against Biden being, "Low Energy."  Uhh Trump isn't exactly bouncing off the walls.  I mean, in terms of Mental Illness, yes, he is.  And it takes a lot of mental energy to exist in multiple lie and deception Narratives at once.  But he's kinda a sleep speaker, too!  He does no physical exercise.  I Don't Buy It!  No wonder Generic People in Generic Congress Districts Generally Want A Democratic Congress!  Huh.  Manned up this lunch and plopped that soup in bowl to eat 5 minutes later after Microwaving.  Ugh is it gross at first but its ultimately worth it!
    Man 538 must be really into this specific Congress Poll.  Fascinating.  Anyway this is the first time I'm having this Ham from FreshDirect.  Verdict?  It's Fine!  Anyway just like the rest of you my biggest dream of When Pandemic Quarantine Ends is the Subway Club sandwich from Subway.  The  Low Calorie Cold Cut sandwich.  We're talkin' 2 slices of turkey.  2 slices of roast beef.  2 slices of ham.  We're talkin some nice Honey Wheat Bread.  We're talkin' ALL the vegetables.  My 2nd biggest dream is Never Plopping Soups AGAIN.  Once I'm rich enough I'll hire a nutritionist who Cooks No Food but their main responsibility is ploppin' my soups for me.  I Don't wanna See it I don't wanna HEAR it and I certainly don't wanna DO IT!  Also I amass my wealth by being a Doctor Sleep.  Trick people into falling asleep into death and RIGHT BEFORE they fall asleepdeath, have 'em sign over all their shit to me.  It's the perfect scam for some reason no one is really sure of!
    Cool.  I can't wait to see who is the VP candidate!  I'm throwing all my support behind Tom Daschle.  I'm In It To Win It With DaschleTM!  What about John Edwards.  He was almost part of the top II in 2008 with Obama and Clinton in Primary!  He led at some points!  I think his big scandal was he got a haircut.  And then they played music in the background of it.  I do think that really was His Biggest Scandal in the minds of voters but there were secondary sexual assault scandals IMO.  WTH it was just Extramarital.  Is that technically illegal?  I dunno.  It's a legal contract, marriage.  But they're not throwing people in jail for cheating, or penalizing them in any way, right?  The point is eh I don't care much about John Edwards just seems like they Did Him Dirty that's all.
Cool!  Hey probably the last paragraph.  Uh-oh this is the last entry of the month.  Whatta June it was.  Why, there were all the days that happened!  And how I wrote an entry each time it happened!  Anyway.  I was watching Doctor Sleep yesterday and that scene where he's friends with his GhostDad (No relation to Bill Cosby) and they bonded over Alcohol (or Anti-Alcohol) and I was like hmm I could use a drink.  And then Evil Lady was drinking GhostSon's essence and she was like YOU TASTE LIKE WHISKEY and I was like hmm I could use some whiskey.  The point is oh man if I had some alcohol in front of me right now I swear!!!!  The other pount is it's been 2 months since my last drink.  And what do I've got to show for it.  NOTHING!  I'll see ya later.

-3:48 P.M.





Monday, June 29, 2020

What About This Title

    Hey how's Pandemic Quarantine going.  Still a whole lotta nothin!  I was talking to my Dad about buying an elliptical machine, and he's on board in theory, but there's no good place to put it.  We can either get rid of the piano (antique worth DOZENS of dollars) or my Brother's/My Old Bed (antique worth NEGATIVE DOZENS of dollars).  The point is we're paying someone $4.99 a month to continue Having This Spare Bed?  I Don't have all the details.  But it'd be, "Trill," because I can exercise more, burn more calories, lose some weight, not go crazy Walkin' Circles, and GET RID OF THIS BED THAT'S BEEN COSTING US SO MANY MONEY.
    What if we ever have a visitor and they need to sleep.  For some people That's A Real Consideration.  For us?  We've got COUCHES we've had for over a decade which never have been used by visitors.  So the point is any theoretical visitor can sleep on the couch!  Hmm how about get rid of that couch for Elliptical Machine. Cause that couch is worth EVEN MORE DOZENS OF MONEY than the piano!  Hardly been touched!  The point is I Dunno gotta get used to the idea I May Not Do Outside Stuff at all this year.  I mean, I probably could same some walks, but I'm not gonna!  That's how they getcha!  Anyway I'd be FOR distributing free masks to the homeless but lets be honest they're all just gonna use them As Socks.  It's the ugly truth behind Homeless Masks... and... fake socks... what else is going on.
Finished me some #MarvelSummerToRemember Silver War, all of Doctor Strange, and 1/3rd of Galaxy Guardians II: The Rise of Captain America.  Wonderful.  I'm starting to really look forward to being done with this #MarvelSummerToRemember no more than 3 weeks Into Summer.  Great then I need to have SOME OTHER NON-MARVEL BASED #MarvelSummerToRemember to keep it going!  The point is I forget.  Hey Young Spiderman showed up in Captain America:The Civil War In His Heart!  Very young Spiderman, very young.  Kinda makes you wonder what kind of GROWN IRON MAN is showering this boy with affection and compliments and takes him away from his Guardian(OfHisGalaxyAtLeast!) under false pretenses.  Iron Man is Into Young Spiderman is the point and THIS IS GONNA BLOW UP THE ENTIRE THING!!!
    #MarvelSummerToRemember You know what they say about Young Spidermen, right?  They're... attractive to Avengers... or something...  That's MY hot take.  Maybe I'm a weird guy, the science is out on that as of now, but when they introduced Spiderman 12.5 movies into this franchise I was instantly like FINALLY SOMEONE I CAN RELATE TO.   Now you're talkin' my language!  Because there's lots of things wrong with me.  And lots of things wrong with Spiderman.  And a lot of those things overlap!  That's just how things go.  Anyway Anyway here's hoping that in a month my new secret identity is Elliptical Man and my power is walking briskly at 3.7 MPH for about 50 minutes.  It's good because, well, lots of reasons!
    Anyway.  My Dad is talkin' about how this Summer Semester may be the last classes he ever teaches, based on they're laying off all the adjuncts, and if it was Online he's not 100% into that anyway... and it makes me sad.  Because I think it makes him sad.  He gets pleasure and whatnot from teaching!  Makes him feel good!  And thinking of him without it is frownyface.  I dunno I'm sure he'll figure something else out That's why I want this elliptical it's for Me AND Him!  Anyway on One Hand this entry is a snooze but on The Other Hand dammned if this entry isn't evidence of my innate white privilege.  Hey I'm a youngish white man I can talk about whatever nonsense I want nobody's gonna say or do shit!  It sounds dumb and it is dumb but it also makes a lot of sense!  Such is life.



Hey That's a Good One

    Maybe I could put the elliptical machine where my bathtub is.  Or, I can just run in place in my bathtub.  Lots of good options!  Look, I know Iron Man is on the up and up.  He's not into Spiderman and even if he was he wuold never DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.  Look I got nothin' but love for Iron Man it's all just in jest. ...do I think Iron Man really exists?  I dunno!  Either I think Iron Man really exists, or I think I don't really exist and somehow am part of the #MarvelSummerToRemember Universe myself!  Well that's bound to happen living out the #MarvelSummerToRemember for, at this point, over a week.  Captain Justice has now in fact been Born and that's just something We All Are Gonna Have To Live With Now.  Also Captain Justice is my Secret Identity, but my non-secret, Civilian Identity is Professor Genius.  Sounds about right. 
    Today, John Roberts is Captain Justice.  I think he is EVERY day. He's the Captain of the Supreme Court.  They are all justices.  He's the Chief one!  Yeah but when he votes the wrong way 85% of the time, what then.  You're right I better be Captain Justice.  I assume every time there's a 5-4 decision they made a documentary of that Case and call it SupremeCourt:Civil War.  And precede it with Captain America, just for good measure!  Anyway if the Confederacy seceded frmo the union with This Supreme Court would they just be like yep checks out totally justified.  Is that what happened in Real Civil War?  Union was like hmm better see what Supreme Court has to say about this.  I'll look into that one day when I More Strongly Feel Like It.
    Cool!  I wonder if its a coincidence that the same people who Really Love The Flag are also against D.C. and Puerto Rico Statehood.  I assume its not just that they dislike Democrats in wedge (and not-so-wedge) issues!  I assume its just that HEY I LOVE THE FLAG AS IT IS.  2 MORE STATES?  TWO MORE STARS?  AHHHH NOOONOOO I DON'T APPROVE!  Actually, I think that's a great way to do it.  D.C. and Puerto Rico at the same time.  Cause 52 is still a Great Number.  A state for every week of the year.  I get that 51 is kind of clunky, so lets do both at once!  FIFTY TWO STATES MAN THAT REALLLY HITS THE SPOT!  What was I talking about again. Oh, right.  They love the flag so much they're against Statehoods.
    Kinda feel like they do lean into that.  Its a dog whistle.  Yes more states, maybe, but It Will Feel Kind Of CLUNKY if you catch my drift... and then normal civilians are like YEAH WHOEVER HEARD OF 51 STATES DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!  Every Public School Homeroom is gonna have to get an updated flag, though.  What do they do with the outdated flags?  Send 'em to those 50-Staters', give em something to hold on to in a Strange and Clunky New World.  The point is I'm a Fifty Two'r.  That's fun to say!  I'll say it all the time if it comes up again.  I feel like There's More To 52 Than Just Weeks.  LMLTURQ... OH RIGHT I'M 5'2.  NOW WE'RE TALKING.  Google didn't tell me that.  I just remembered.  I didn't google, "52," and Google was like PROFESSOR GENIUS 5'2!... So lemme look more URQ... OH RIGHT DECK OF CARDS!! NOW WE'RE TALKING AWESOME NUMBER!!!
The point is all those nonsense is brought to you by White Privilege: If I Wasn't White, How Could I Ever Assume This Is Worth Anything?  Fifty Two White Keys on a Piano.  That means... carry the seven... 36 black keys.  I dunno what else is going on and crap.  Hmm the top left of the flag is already Pretty Crowded... where you gonna fit in those 2 states.  Easy don't even change the flag, just distribute Stickers that say "(+2 Other Stars!)" and just stick em on existing flags!  That way schools don't even have to buy new flags!  Cheap, convenient, and fun!  Also you have stick it on the stripes.  You cover up existing stars with sticker that's no bueno!  But you can cover up some stripes Partially, we can still see most of them stripes!



You Are Very Welcome

    My super power is being a Proponent of Justice.  My civilian power is being a Professor.  Yep seems to check out.  HMM super villains obstructing justice all over the place THIS CALLS FOR CAPTAIN JUSTICE.  CAPTAIN WHAT'S YOUR FIRST STEP?  I AM IN FAVOR OF JUSTICE.  Ok what will you do about it!  I AM IN FAVOR OF IT!  WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT I'M ONLY A PROFESSOR, GENIU... wait lemme start over..  I dunno, crap like that.  What else is going on and crap.  In the mood for some Intervention after this entry is over.  Probably some sort of lunch, too.  Maybe a sandwich and some soup!  Soup Or Hero?  Sounds like Both Alright!  A ham sandwich on supermarket white bread isn't exactly a hero.  Well Neither Am I so PERFECT!
Great!  The point is I may be Pandemic Quarantined for more than a year more but if I had elliptical machine holy smokes I don't need to walk in a circle for an hou every day.  That'd be a net positive overall, I think!  What have I learnt from #MarvelSummerToRemember over the last 24 hours.  Doctor Strange is DOctor Strange.  Oh NOW I get it.  For some reason I legitimately kind of half-assedly imagined Doctor Strange was Sherlock Holmes.  I now know they were played by the same person.  But I sort of? imagined Sherlock Holmes was an Avenger?  Well he WAS a league of extraordinary gentlemen.  They're KIND OF avengers.
Wonderful!  The point is Iron Man abducted Captain Spiderman and is now getting his jollies making and watching him fight Professor Ant-man. #MarvelSummerToRemember Universe just took a turn for the worse.  Wonderful.  How's the Generic Congress Poll doing.  Democrats still up 7.9%!  Great, keep me updated!  Unless if it dips below 7.8%!  Then I DON'T wanna know!  How's police reform doing.  And by police reform, I mean arresting the officers who are already proven to be guilty of murder.  That's step one of Reform--start arresting murderous police.  I know its a Strange New Fangled Idea but I think it's the way to go!  Hmm de-fund the police.  How about this, we Fund the Police Of The Police.  Is that Internal Affairs?  If we're just gonna throw money at a problem, how about some semi-autonomous Respectable Police Policing Policers?
    Also that's not Internal Affairs.  Internal Affairs was a Skinimax movie from 2001.  Really makes ya think.  Anyway after GOTHII is a Spiderman.  I remember seeing that one in theaters and being like hmm stakes seem kinda low for a super hero movie, I guess cause Spiderman is still just a boy.  Fighting ANYONE to the death at all is pretty advanced for a child!  Good for him!  Also I still know nothing about Black Panther.  I THINK he was on Captain America's side in Captain America's Private Little Civil War.  Which is the losing side, lets face it, everyone knows Iron Man is head Avenger not Captain America. Anyway just had a get something that was delivered to the front door break.  That's kind of a super power.  I put on One Latex Glove for it.  That's kind of putting on a super hero costume.   It's like Spiderman's tights but only 1 glove, that's halfway there!
    Oh, right.  Captain America's side ain't winnin' shit!  Alright, what else is going on and crap.  Apparently Chris Pratt's Dad is Kurt Russell who is A Celestial who Is An Eternal Maybe?  also all that IN MOVIES.  Not in real life.  This is fiction we're talking about, NOT real life #MarvelSummerToRemember.  Well, great.  Can re-watch me some Doctor Sleep today.  Apparently HBO has a Director's Cut which is significantly longer than the Movie Theater's Cut which I presumably saw when it was in The Movie Theaters.  I bet they explain how ghosts and magic can exist in Our Real World because as of now I don't get it.  That stuff isn't real!  Well, great another entry down!  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-2:56 P.M.




Sunday, June 28, 2020

I'll Figure Something Out

    That's true.  Anyway I am SHOCKED that we now have a 157th piece of concrete evidence that Trump and his supporters are White Power People.  I thought after the last time WELL SURELY THAT'S IT!  At least now we can take solace in the fact that he will never again do anything explicitly and obviously White Powery.  He deleted the tweet, so I guess he learned his lesson and that puts out that fire.  Whew good to have all that behind us!  Speaking of Race Relations I finally was introduced to Black Panther this morning!  So there being a Black Character Is In And Of Itself Race Relations?  Well, I'm not proud of it, but yeah!  He has to relate to the other white Avengers.  I also see Black Widow as Gender Relations.  She has to relate to the male Avengers.  Thor is Alien/God Relations.  Captain America is Age Relations.  The point is if Youngish White Men are the default, as I've been led to believe, them presumably everyone else is only to be seen in the context of Those Youngish White Men!  The point is don't be surprised if Trump, "Likes," this paragraph.
    Anyway, with Trump not exactly comin' out on top of anything that happened over the last month or two, is he gonna win some support of people who are like Well Who HASN'T accidentally enjoyed some White Power People without realizing they specifically used the phrase, "White Power!"  It could happen to any of us I'M WITH TRUMP ON THIS ONE!  Maybe he's banking on that, the whole thing could be a desperate set up!  The good news is I don't think The Silent Majority is on board with White Power Sympathizers.  I enjoy Trump claiming Silent Majority when he and his supporters are very clearly the Noisy Minority!  Anyway Samuel L Jackson was King of The Avengers, and he's black!  The Birdman: I Believe He Goes By Falcon is African American!  No Latinx Avengers as far as I know.  I mean I'm sure in Comics there's been 100 Avengers at one point or another and they must have had a Latinx... oh right Spiderman from Spiderverse Movie I think is half black half Latino. 
    The point is, here's the extent of my subconscious Bullshit-- kinda relate more to Thor than Black Panther.  Thor isn't even HUMAN.  Yeah he's a different race of people but LOOK AT HIM I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT BUT I JUST FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH HIM.  The point is Black Lives Matter but so does my White Bullshit For Some Reason!  No it doesn't.  I agree but I'm just saying it matters to the extent that it kills a couple of paragraphs, then I come out feeling okay about myself Somehow even though I'm Shaming Myself.  Anyway #MarvelSummerToRemember.  Hmm watched Antman:The Michael Pena Vehicle and 1/2 of Captain America:Silver War:Why Is It Called A Captain America Movie:When It's Clearly An Ensemble Movie But, Yes: ,Given, Missing The Hulk And Thor:As Of Now At Least.  The point is from what I've seen Captain America is SLIGHTLY the lead but its really false advertising.  Which I don't get.  If it was called Avengers: Civil War and not Captain America:Civil War you gotta imagine they'd add around 50 mill to their ultimate gross.  Maybe there were some clauses in some contracts to Appear in Only So Many Avengers Movies.  And they were like sure I'll appear in this other film for the exact same amount of money but I INSIST ITS NOT AVENGERS!
Gotta imagine this section of the entry is inspired by Trump's Dogwhistle, right?  Also is it a dog whistle when you're endorsing the phrase White Power?  Seems like just Talking.  You're not speaking at a pitch only dogs can hear.  You are just talking to normal people and pets.  Hey White Power.  Hmm I wonder what he means by that.  Whatta embarrassment.  Here I am TRYING TO LEARN from Super Hero Movies how to be a better Ally whose honest about his bullshit because he's lazy AND THE PRESIDENT is just hey things haven't been going my way maybe a strategic WHITE POWER'll change the conversation!  And it can't get any worse for me!  I'll White Power My Way Out Of These Doldrums Yet!  The good news is maybe it can get worse for him.  And if it can, this may be one thing to do it.
    So we got that going for us is the point.
  Oh also War Machine AKA Iron Patriot AKA The Character Played By Don Cheadle Who Presumably Has A Civilian Name As Well I Wanna Say NATE...?  LMLTHURQ.  James Rhodes.  James, Nate... you can see how I got confused.  I feel more comfortable with War Machine than with Thor.  Maybe this all just boils down to I've only seen 90 seconds of Black Panther and he has no relationship with any of the Avengers yet.  He's not an Avenger of course I don't trust him as much as The Avengers.  ...So you're saying I'm NOT racist.  Well, yes and n... TOO LATE NOT RACIST GOTTA GO!  Not only does he have no relationship with The Avengers, he has no relationship with The Audience AS OF THESE 90 SECONDS.  We hardly know anything!  Need more info!




Thanks For The Nonsense

    I mean it!  Dumb people who like movies like GOTG because they like the soundtrack.  Hey just watch ANY movie to whatever 2 hour mixtape YOU WANNA MAKE YOURSELF!  It will be just as good or even better!  Hmm that sounds like a good idea now 1)what is a mixtape 2)how do I make a mixtape 3)where can I get the Audiobook to GOTG2 to play over GOTG2 later today or tomorrow?  I find the audio of that movie matches up with the visuals of that movie PRETTY WELL almost 100%!  There's like 20, 25% where it doesn't really sync up but HEY NOT BAD!  Anyway based on Twitter I know there's some books that help un-racist white people.  I'll buy one of those at some point presumably. But there's also the instinct that I don't wanna be brainwashed by books.  Even for a Good Cause.  It's probably okay because celebrities on Twitter vouch for it but I Dunno will the audio book to White Fragility match up with Guardians Of The Galaxy II perfectly?  My guess is probably pretty close at least!
The next Full-Out Avengers is Avengers: Infinity War.  Maybe that's why they didn't want this to be an Avengers.  You can't have War as part of a 4 word title TWO MOVIES IN A ROW. They have The Avengers as part of 4 word titles Two Movies In A Row.  Yeah but c'mon that makes sense.  It'll be 3 out of 4 words in a Row!  The Avengers: Civil War, The Avengers: Infinity War WHY ARE THE AVENGERS ALWAYS AT WAR I GET THE SENSE THAT THEY REALLY LIKE AND EXCEL AT VIOLENCE!  These are the important issues for some reason.  #MarvelSummerToRemember .  What am I gonna have for lunch.  Maybe some Salmon with Potato Spheres.  I like that idea because it tastes good satisfies hunger and leads to me having it all finished before it goes bad.
    Hey gotta finish Captain America:Civil War:Lets Find Out What Black Panther Is All About, and then after that is Doctor Strange Or Whatever.  Which I assume the original title was Catain America:DOctor Strange.  If they had the chance to go back and change one thing, it'd probably just make EVERY MARVEL MOVIE OF THE LAST DECADe CAPTAIN AMERICA:THE AVENGERS ASSEMBLE, CAPTAIN AMERICA:GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, CAPTAIN AMERICA:ANT-MAN.  The point is Captain America is pretty good but he's no match for CAPTAIN JUSTICE.  Who is the guy whose me.  Is he my secret identity or just my identity?  Lets go with I'll tell anyone who'll listen he's my identity but most people couldn't be bothered.  So far my favorite Captain America movie was Captain America:Captain America:The Winter Soldier.  Ugh.
Anyway workin on my last cup of coffee for the day presumably.  Third or fourth overall!  Cool!  I can't wait to find out who gets the honor of Killing SuperVillian Thanos per my understanding.  There's like 2-3 dozen full-out Hero Possibilities.  And its probably a group effort to the greatest extent possible.  But still someone's gotta pull the trigger.  My guess is THAT FOX GUY FROM GOTH.  He's got no specific reason to be the guy AND THAT'S WHY HE'S THE BEST WE'VE GOT not gonna be clouded by ideals or vengeances or because he's the best.  He just happens to be the right fox in the right time to defeat the biggest villain of All #MarvelSummerToRemember Time!  Wait a second no he's Bardley Cooper.  I don't want Bardley Cooper to be the biggest hero of the decade HE'S ALREADY BARDLEY COOOPER.  Alright how ab... WAIT A SECOND.  The fox's name is Rocket Raccoon!  ROCKY RACCOON BY THE BEATLES IS ONE OF MY TOP DOZEN SONGS OF ALL TIME. 
    Alright I'm back on board with Rocky Raccoon Doing The Deed!  Also I'm pretty sure this guy is a fox and not a raccoon.  Yeah his NAME is Raccoon doesn't mean HE IS a Raccoon.  Just like Michael J Fox isn't actually a Fox.  Anyway, lets say I wasn't 100% with Bradley Cooper being the Ultimate Hero, which is accurate-- who should it be, then?  Uhh.  BLACK PANTHER!  COMIC BOOK REPARATIONS.  What just cause he's black it means he can only be the Superist Hero because he's black?  NO I'M NOT SAYING THAT AT A... YES THAT'S HOW GOES ITS A CRUEL #MARVELSUMMERTOREMEMBER WORLD BUT THAT'S THE ONE WE'RE LIVING IN.  Nah, that's not the message Marvel wants to be the Ultimate Message!  If Black Panther is Ultimate Hero then they better be ready to justify why Black Panther is Ultimate Hero in a way we can ALL get on board with!  I know nothing about Black Panther as I've said over and over again so I am not qualified to be having this discussion.  War Machine, now that's a different story!  He's an Ultimate Hero You Can Set Your Watch To!



Really Makes Ya Think

    Alright.  Fine.  Ultimate Hero.  Who do I want to kill Thanos... GO!  ANTMAN'S MENTOR MICHAEL DOUGLAS.  Hmm well can't argue with that. PAUL MCCARTNEY.  Gotta imagine he shows up for four, five seconds at the end of the movie, just long enough to kill Thanos.  Also The Beatles exist in the same Marvel Universe already so we got that going for us.  Anyway made it to part III of entry.  Almost done with it for the day is the good news.  Did The Monkees ever do any Super Hero stuff?  I kinda feel like there must have been some kind of band that doubled as super heroes, whether in The Real World or in Fiction.  I might be thinking of The Harlem Globetrotters. I don't even know where to begin with how wrong that is. 
    Alright lunch is in the process of being written.  I mean, eaten.  And this is this website & me is in the process of being written.  Just had a sense memory of writing Crazysheet while eating Pizza during Queens College Break Between Classes:Infinity War.  Those were good times.  Pizza!  I haven't had Just Regular Pizza in over 3 months whatta jip!  I do have some good French Bread Pizza in Freezer right now, though.  I may even have that for dinner tonight can't count anything out at this point!  I can't wait to see the Black Panther movie so I can learn more about African American Culture.  I don't even know where to begin what's wrong with that.  How about WHERE IT'S RIGHT Presumably Marvel hired writers and animators for Black Panther:The Comicbook Man so it IS African American Culture.  Yeah but within the Marvel Universe it is neither African American or Culture really.  I would guess there's probably some Wakandan Culture discussed who knows at this point.
Anyway lunch is over now.  What a fun paragraph it was to consume it, though.  The point is who are Captain Justice's allies and who are his enemies.  Why, there's, Professor Genius, his closest confidant!  There's Doctor Genius... Professor Genius's brother!  There's the evil Mayor... Genius... Unrelated...  Fine Drop the Geniuses... he's friends with a Doctor and a Professor who are brothers, and one of the super villains is A/The Mayor.  What kinda Doctor is he.  He's a doctor of Professory!  What's the other guy a professor of.  Of Doctorate Studies!  The point is I'm playing this Captain Justice Stuff a little close to the vest, you know what I mean?  You'll get some hints about it here and there but overall don't expect much!
    Ugh.  Whatta do with the rest of the day.  Finish Captain America:Captain America:Captain America:Captain America:Silver War.  Watch DOctor Sleep:The Movie I Watched Last Year.  Finish eating the ice cream sandwich I just finished halfway through this sentence.  Hmm, what else.  DOctor Strange sounds like a snooze of a super hero or is that just my cover because Doctor Strange is actually Captain Justice's closest confidant and friend.  I dunno I haven't seen the movie yet so I dunno!  Presumably they'll lay down some Captain Justice/Doctor Strange back story subtly.  One MUST assume such!  Hey wonder what would happen if I just had another ice cream sandwich.
Last paragraph!  MMMM washed down the last of Ice Cream Sandwich with some orange soda AND IT TASTES LIKE ORANGE CREAM SICKLE.  Those were the tops and now I just had a mock orange cream sickle in my very own mouth!  What Supermarket FreshFood do I have left?  One small salmon filet.  Half a Dozen potato spheres (each one is roughly the same amout of potato as 2-3 frenched fries).  That's about I.. WAIT NO SANDWICH MEAT.  Got half a pound of LOW SODIUM ham.  First time I'm trying that from This Supermarket FreshFood Delivery!  Also Have ONE SLICE of Roast Beef left.  That's About It!  Also when you're, "Zooooming," is it somehow set up that it can determine your profile and Green Screens the rest of it? Or does everyone I see on TV and in commercials just own a Green Screen?  I can't even begin to describe why this isn't the place to ask that question.  I'll see ya later.

-4:42 P.M.




Saturday, June 27, 2020

I Hope You're Happy

    This time I had diarrhea in the sink.  Probably should read last entry for further context.  Or don't, I ain't here to tell you what to do.  I can say with 100% certainty that I've never shitted in the sink.  I can say with about 80% certainty that I've never peed in the sink.  I dunno.  Maybe more like 50%.  I'm not proud of it but lets just be real with each other, seems like something I would have thought of and been like well Couldn't HURT...  Anyway, hey, another new entry!  Watched the new WIll Farrell/Rachel McAdams movie!  I was very disturbed to find out Rachel McAdams True Age.  But she's still not old enough for Will Ferrell!  Maybe that kind of stuff flies in Movies but here In The Real World I won't stand for it!  Huh?  You know, that sort of thing.
    What Marvel Movies have I watched #MarvelSummerToRemember?  I watched The Avengers Avenge:The Age Of Ultron (BTW this so called, "Age of Ultron," lasted no longer than a week!  There were literally A Few Days Of Ultron in the movie which really doesn't qualify as an Age at all, not even close!).  Oh, right.  Ultron.  Unless they were being sarcastic with, "AGE of Ultron."  Gotta imagine that's what they'll lean on to justify it.  They were JOKING in the title when they said age of Ultron.  Hmm maybe I dunno.  Anyway so I watched that and I watched Before That Guardians Of The Galaxy.  I thought they would be the Guardians of the Galaxy from Scene One.  Turns out they don't become Guardians Of The Galaxy until sorta not even until POST-THE MOVIE.  They guard The Galaxy pretty well in one sequence at the end but One Guard Does Not A Guardian Make.  If you wanna own the roll of Guardian you need MULTIPLE Guards, c'mon.  I assume they'll get there but They're Not There Yet Not Even Close.  Well, close.  They guarded once.  I'd say just 2 Guards is enough.  They're halfway there is the point and I'm looking forward to seeing what they have to offer.
    Also how come nobody in Basketball whose a, "Guard," insists on being called a Guardian.  Because that word is not defined in the same way.  Yeah but it's still FUN to say and people would GET IT.  My favorite Position in Basketball is Center.  Hey you're tall you'd be good at gettin' balls at the "Tip Off."  Other than that you're not excelling at much but hey anything after Getting The Tip Off is gravy!  Also it's the only Position Name I know 100%.  So I got that working against me.  Are there plans in Baseball or other sports where its like Hmm we need a contingency plan this year if we do tests and like 40% of the players have Covid.  Is there a scenario when they get like 10 games into the 60 game season and they're like Nope We Were Wrong Shut This Down Sorry We Thought It'd Be Okay  Our Bad.  Seems like a kind of likely scenario?  So we got that to look forward to is the point. 
    The point is I wouldn't be 100% surprised or upset if they don't let Bartolo Colon (whose 47) play baseball even if he wants to.  That seems like a real thing they could do, right?  Anyone over 40 BANNED!  The pThe point is Bartolo Colon would be a MUCH more appropriate actor to play the Rachel McAdams role in FireSaga: That Movie I Just Watched.  Or maybe have him play the Will Ferrell roll and McAdams stays in her role.  Either way Hmm baseball huh.  They gotta Actually Be Doing That Age Segregation With Umpires, right?  I'm under the impression Umpires In Their 60's Is Probably A Thing.  Just go with younger umpires!  Hopefully you've thought this out and whatnot.  Google says more than 1/2 umpires are 55+.  So the point is We Will Miss Their Expertise But We All Have To Make Baseball Sacrificies.  I call it A Bunt.  Who came up with that word.  Hey it's like Hitting the ball but very softly meant to not reach even any infielders until I get to 1st base and/or the runner on the bases reaches An Even Further Base.  I call it a BUNT.  What's the deal with things!
    Hey it just started raining per my understanding based on Hearing, and my first thought was this hasn't happened very often lately and my second thought was is this gonna be a Return Of The Living Dead Scenario where COronavirus seeps into graves at the cemetery and now... the dead... also have Coronavirus... or something?  The point is I don't think corpses can be infected with viruses.  Hmm quick fix-- lets all become corpses.  It's taking Herd Immunity to its next logical step.  Well once We're All Dead the economy can start over from scratch seems like we'd be doing our duty as Americans to die.  You know, except for Rich People.  They're exempt from this because they don't have essential jobs so we'll need them to continue holding power in future economies.
    Also the other point is there's a 10% chance in Our Real World Trump Cult becomes a Death Cult to some extent.  We're sort of there?  I mean yeah if you wanna get TECHNICAL about it people aren't taking precautions because he's telling them not do and Mathematically SOME OF THEM already have died and more will because of it, but I hardly see how that is anything like a DEATH cult...  The only argument against it is well for the most part they probably think they're not gonna die.  But mathematically there's gotta be some of them that are like Trump wants me to die, might as well I guess.  That's gonna be a story when we start seeing Suicide-By-Virus Notes saying as much.
    That's a no bueno in terms of Fun paragraph.  It's kind of funny I guess!  I dunno.  AGE OF ULTRON.  More like a flash in the pan.  Which is a metaphor based on Something that I don't know.  But I'll LIRQ...  something about Muskets in the 1700's misfiring.  Cause a flash but no Musketdeaths or whatever.  What else is going on and crap.  Today is Antman:The Movie I Vaguely Remember Seeing When It Came Out.  And after that is presumably another movie I wanna say Doctor Strange?  No after that is another Captain America and THEN Doctor Strange which Somehow Isn't Copyright Infringement on Stanley Kubrick's Estate?  Well presumably it was copyright infringement just On Stanley Kubrick cause it was a comic book when he was still alive and kicking.  I dunno and i don't really care to find out.




That'll Do Just Fine

    I guess.  Here's a fun story-- I was watching Simpsons during my morning CircleWalk, and I had about 8 minutes to go after finishing an episode, so I was like, I could watch a Tom Goes To THe Mayor which takes ELEVEN MINUTES, that's pretty close... HOLY SHIT THE NEXT SIMPSONS IS 22 SHORT STORIES ABOUT SPRINGFIELD!  IF EVER THERE WAS AN ESPIDOE TO FEEL COMFORTABLE PAUSING SOMEWAY THROUGH ITS THIS ONE!  Sometimes the universe hands you lemons for your lemonade business is the point.  I dunno whose encouraging these kids to have lemonade stands.  I guess parents are like hey thats kind of cute and maybe teaches them about business.  You want something Kind Of Cute That Teaches You About Business?  GLENGARRY GLENROSS!  WALL STREET!  BOILER ROOM!  Business isn't stock market. Yeah but they're close!  The point is kids aught to be opening up Sidewalk Brokerage Firms.  They'd do a lot better than selling lemonade AT A DEFICIT.  Your parents paid more for that lemonade you're selling than you're going to get back.  So you're LUCKY if you get no customers as you probably will.  The more customers you get THE WORSE YOU'RE DOING YOU ARE NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS BUSINESS AT ALL YOU DUMB EIGHT YEAR OLDS.
I feel like there's a good 60% chance at some point, presumably around 8-11 years old, I did that and I set up outside my house and then over an hour I was reminded oh yeah nobody is gonna walk by my house.  And if they did So What.  There's also a 40% chance that never happened at all.  Sure, great.  Anyway.  I was looking at my Unshaven face and I thought ya know I don't remember shaving AT ALL until my mid 20's.  I know I grew some facial hair as a teenager and young 20's.  But I guess it wasn't enough to really be a thing beyond getting Haircut Shaves every few months.  That'll learn em, that'll learn all of 'em!  Hmm.  Fascnating.  I think a lot of people liked Guardians Of The Galaxy because they enjoyed the soundtrack.  Man if they thought That was fun WAIT TILL THEY GET A LOAD OF YOUTUBE!!!  Right?  I dunno.  It's fun to hear music in Movie THeater.  I'd go to Movie Theaters just on Music Nights and they play like 2 or 3 Classic Music Albums for the price of admission (which is the price of a normal movie admission [extra for IMAX].  Also I'd say there's a solid 50% chance IMAX is by definition associated with Better Sound as well as obviously Better Visuals.  50%?  Oh man I like those odds a lot.
They have those kinda nights at Planetariums.  They put on Pink Floyd or whatever and you look at Laser Light Shows.  Hmm ya look up at the sky the starry starry night and you wonder hmm wonder if the stars are just socially distancing.  I remember I learned that in NYC you see much less stars than elsewhere.  I think on account of City Pollution.  Well at least we're doing better than Cities In China.  As far as they know there are no stars.  They're not even sure if there's a SUN that's how polluted it is right?  That'd be my guess.  The point is there being a Flat Universe helps me understand Stars a lot better, and how they're in uniform positions Year After Year.  Man oh man this flat universe thing explains EVERYTHING!
  The point is I'd Be Just As Thrilled as those 2 things as just Going To A Drive Thru Movie.  They call it a Drive Thru but you're kinda parked there.  If it was a drive thru you'd just be traveling VERY SLOWLY over the course of 2 hours.  Which is an interesting and fun thing to contemplate but its Not What They Do.  Also I'm 75% sure Nobody Calls It A Drive Through Movie but I'll look that up right quick just to be sure...  They call it a Drive IN Movie.  This isn't a Drive In Movie its no The Last Action Hero scenario at all.  Not as far as I know.  The point is Watching a movie?  From a car?  ON a big screen?  And FROM A CAR?  This is livin'!  I think they should just have Drive-In-Trailer-Parks.  Where it's a trailer park but you rent them out for Drive In Movie Purposes.  Seems like a good way to make money for people who own trailers.  They rent out their House for 6 hours, 2 showings a night, and people get to live in A Cheap House On Wheels for 2 hours While Watching A Movie... I dunno seems like a good way to make money to me.
Anyway looking forward to Aunt Man which is a terrible pun but what can I do about it.  I feel like over my life I've gone back and forth on whether to pronounce "Aunt," as AhhNT, or OnNT.  I started off at AHNT.  Then I thought ONT was classier.  Then decided AHNT just made more sense and was the way to go.  Solid 75% chance that story is accurate and a 35% chance it was worth Making You Read for some raeson no one is really sure of.  Hmm has there ever been a Spiderman Spinoff with Uncle Ben called UNCLE MAN?  Also is his name Uncle Ben or do I just have Racist Food Mascot Spokesmen on the brain?  Yep his name is indeed Uncle Ben.  I assume Marvel had to pay off The Rice people.  Stan Lee is paying off Kubrick, the rice people, God knows who else... all because he can't come up with his own names.  Gotta wonder if that business model will pay off in the long run.  Well apparently not He's Dead Now.



What's Going On Over Here

    I guess the point is Once We're Dead nothing in our life paid off.  If it was going so good How Come We Are Now Dead?  Makes a little bit of sense to me.  Also lets be honest exactly WHO was Stan Lee showing up in every Marvel film for a decade and a half for?  I mean I guess Hardcore Comic Fans would get the most of of it the first dozen times.  After that its kind of weird.  Like that guy at the party who nobody wants to talk to yet refuses to leave.  Which is 100% my experience I Was That Guy when I went to/will go to parties.  Maybe it's for Stan Lee himself.  Hey guys I'd love to continue giving you rights to film my creative property, sure'd be nice if there could be a scene where I'm playing chess in a park in New York and then I'm like Iron Man?  Never Heard Of Him! when in fact people know I created him.  He gets his jollies being in movies is the point.  Which I think is 75% the reason anyone becomes an actor I guess, I dunno?
    Maybe it's good for Marvel Business People.  The demographic in East Asia LOVES it when Stan Lee shows up, they immediately return to the Box Office to Buy A Second Ticket because they have no better way to express their euphoria and approval.  Anyway the point is He's Dead Now #MarvelSummerToRemember.  He's dead now, right?  LMLTURQ.  He is indeed dead.  As Far As We Know.  Anyway, yesterday/2 Nights ago I had left my Contacts On accidentally in my slumber.  Which isn't good because it can get lost in your eye, but it is good because when I woke up not only did I not have to put them on again but they were On Really Good really pressed into my cornea real well.  I assume cornea is the word I'm looking for.  It has to do with your eyes, and what are the odds it has to do with your eyes and isn't the word I'm looking for?  90%?  Sounds about right but if you're giving me 10 to 1 odds I'LL MAKE THAT BET ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT.  Kinks Summer To Remember.  I remember liking All Day And All Of The Night and also You Really Got Me but feeling kinda jipped that they're exactly the same song.  While all other Kinks songs are actually Very Original and Unique.  Really makes ya think.
just finished wiping stuff down and putting it away from Friday's SuperMarket Delivery.  You know what that means!  I don't have any further chores to do until Waking Up Tomorrow.  I'm just kidding Waking Up Is A Joy.  Going to sleep Tonight is another story!  I like Watching #MarvelSummerToRemember movie after dinner, and I like listening to music Before Falling Asleep, but there's Two Parts I don't like-- the transition from Watching Movie to Listening To Music, and the transition from Listening To Music to Being Asleep. It's a real chore!  Ugh now I have to fall asleep.  Great it's ALWAYS SOMETHING with you isn't it.  I dunno who the you is in this scenario.  My Jarvis, or something.  Iron Man reference!  Cool.  The other great news is in a few hours all that soda will be chilled!
    Antman, eh?  Sure sounds like that movie with Michael Pena that I saw 5 years ago!  LMLTURQ
YEP.  Alexa, why do I know who Michael Pena is And Part II Who Is Michael Pena.  Great.  I dunno why but for some reason in the 2010's I was operating under the assumption The Original Avengers In This Iteration are way more powerful than These Supplemental Super Heroes who presumably become Avengers in the last Avengers Or Two.  I was like well Iron Man is light years ahead of AntMan in terms of Violence Skills.  Not really, though!  They're all pretty close.  And the go to joke for a Useless Avenger was Hawkeye.  Ya know what?  He's REALLY good with that Bow and Arrow!  And sometimes That's Just What They Need!
    The point is this is the last paragraph.  I think the Principal Skinner/Superintendent Chalmers sequence in 22 Short Films About Springfield is one of the greats.  Feel like that can't be too controversial an opinion, right?  Seems pretty straight forward.  Also these aren't films they're animations.  Meant for TV, not the big screen.  Drive Thru Big Screens or not.  Again you can make drive thru movie theaters but the conveyor belt will have to be .05 MPH and I dunon what the point is.  Also, I dunno what the point is of the conveyor belt. Your cars got wheels don't it?  Set that to .05 MPH as I'm under the impression you can do and just chill!  .05 MPH can't be accurate.  That's 1 mile in 20 hours.  I dunno maybe it IS accurate you ever think of that?  Ugh.  I'll see you guys later.

-5:09 P.M. 




Friday, June 26, 2020

Just As I Suspected

    I just poured out some cold, leftover coffee in the toilet and it looks like I had the most liquid diarrhea anyone could ever ask for.  Also am I the only one who enjoys diarrhea? Well THIS is a nice change of pace! is the point.  Constipation, that's no fun.  All that stress and time consumption.  Diarrhea?  No Fuss, mo muss!  Mess, though.  But most of that Mess is 100% gone with a simple Flushing.  I dunno.  It may go back to a Primitive, Evolutionary Need to Project Dominance.  You Diarrhea all over a place no ones comin' close You OWN this area now.  The good news is we can Liquid Shit but we can't Solid Pee.  No Icicle is ever gettin' through my pee hole!  Well, I hope not at least.  That'd be a Net Negative.
Anyway #MarvelSummerToRemember lemme catch you up I finished Thor: The Guy Who Did All That Stuff and also began and finished Captain America: What's He Up To Now.  Next is Guardians of the Galaxy which is pretty much a Split type movie where it's supposed to be good but you don't realize until later it's part of this franchise.  At least for me.  Apparently Guardians of the Galaxy was a popular part of Marvel Comics.  I Didn't Know That At The Time And No One Bothered To Tell Me so GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.  Also Also I'm under the impression there's billions of galaxies.  Guardians of THE galaxy?  Now as impressive as you might think at first.  Plus it may not even be OUR galaxy, that'd be even more useless.
Please no Star Wars meets Marvel.  Eh it'll happen in ~20 years when they're all out of other ideas.  They're both Disney is the point.  I haven't seen any of the New Star Wars since the First New Star Wars: Episode Seven I Wanna say but I'm under the impression They Kill Off All Of The Classic Characters Over Time.  Luckily, though, Magic Exists in this world so just bring 'em back from the dead.  Say you used the, "Force," that can explain away anything.  Anyway woke up Early For Me For The Past Couple Of Weeks to accept a super market delivery.  And wipe down Fridge/Freezer stuff.  All that's behind me now!  Behind me hardcore!
    Cool.  If there's one thing I hope to accomplish over the next 2 decades is to help create a world where, if Marvel/Star Wars does exist, that we would at least have Better Quality Individual Movies to balance it out.  I'm fine with letting the dummies have The Star Avengers Infinity Wars.  All I want is DAME JUDY DENCH and SIR... Pierce.. BRONSON... Remake of The Bucket List.  Also as Life Expectancy goes up (In OTHER countries like England), we will need to adjust and create more regular Fiction where the stars are in their 90's.  Kirk Douglas can get in on the ground floor RIGHT NOW!  Unless he died a year or two ago which is Possible.  Other than Weekend & Bernies, has there ever been a Dead Castmember?  I assume they used an actual corpse to play Bernie, having a Live Person Play A Corpse seems kind of "Unwoke."  The Dead Can Play Themselves THANK YOU!
    KD died in February.  How about Carl Reiner that dude is 98.  A year for every Degree In His Body Heat.  Also when you're 98, your internal temperature drops to 98.0 its not good.  Anyway got some nice Salmon Fillets, got some nice Chicken Fingers, re-upped on my Potato Spheres.  What kind of idiot thinks Castmember is one word.  The guy whose me.  You know who I'm thinking of.  He's Me?  Oh right now I get it.  Also I erroneously said a few entries ago I'm 2 inches taller than Original Captain America-Pre-SecretSauceSerum.  I thought I heard someone refer to him (In the movie not in real life Captain America) as 5'0.  Then Years Later (Days) in Wikipedia they claim 5'4.  The point is I'm 5'2 and That Settles That.  I know growing old impacts your appearence in a lot of negative ways, but the worst way for me is that I'm gonna easily end up at 5'0 by the time I'm 70.  Maybe even SHo UGH NO IN THE FOUR FEETS WHY GOD WHY!
    Oh well such is life.  The point is I Can Stand On My Tippy Toes For The Rest Of My Life so I got that going for me.  I think, I just had a sense memory, that I used to, real discreet-like, yep stand on my toes in public Just At Resting State.  At some point I gave up on that but I think I used to do that!  Oh well now you know my secret shame.  There's that, there's liking diarrhea (mostly just in theory but also SOMETIMES)... you know that kinda stuff.  Also MY OWN I don't fuck wit your diarrhea eww you're being gross Stop It!  Also the Marvel Movies, good with profit, but VERY good with GROSS.  They spend hundreds of millions of dollars to Make + Advertise The Avengers Documentaries so their gross is probably in the billions EACH YEAR.  I say Tax The Avengers!  All of it goes towards Renewable Energy.  You wanna save the world in Super Hero Mock-Docks now you can do it IN LIFE!



 This Guy Gets It

    Sweet.  How are we all adjusting to our Significantly Longer Hair Than Usual.  Well, I hope!  How about Defund The Avengers LOL!  I know you meant it in jest but YES LETS LOOK INTO THAT!  I like how the discussion about Police Reform 100% broke down over the phrase defund the police.  Yes we were building exponential momentum (and its still there!) but you decided to bring it to a screeching halt by just having the multi-day story be DO YOU LIKE THESE THREE WORDS IN A PHRASE YES OR NO?  and people were like I guess mostly no? and then we were like well we tried guess all that's over now.  WWhatta gip!  But it is fun to be back in Coronavirus Mode.  I feel like I never got closure from this crisis.  And I probably won't for another 2-10 years?  Fauci said a Vaccine's a coming.  He SWORE on a Bible OF HIS CHOOSING.  No he didn't.
Anyway you know how when you're on Death Row, how if you get a Last Meal big enough that you never finish eating, how you can avoid getting the Chair?  I think we should extrapolate that into court rooms where you're like No this bible ain't good for me you need to get me some really rare Bible Indiana Jones is gonna have to get it for you I'll be waiting here while that adventure plays out OVER SEVERAL MOVIES for about 10 years.  It's the perfect scheme!  Also I was very disappointed to find out Garry Schandling in Avengers Movies is evil.  At first he seems like just a Bad Senator.  But then it turns out he's part of a Nazi cult.  Kinda figure having 1/3rd of Senators being Nazis in Movies hits a bit closer to home now than it did 10 years ago.  And maybe that's on me.  I should have known 10 years ago how many closet white supremacists there are.  But now I REALLY know!  Hey stop ragging on the senate only ONE OUT OF TEN of them are full blown Nazi-esque Culters.  I LIKE THOSE ODDS.  But the point is why'd it have to be Garry Schandling?!
Starting some Truvia.  Tastes pretty similar.  Had some pancakes yesterday.  Put Equal:The Artificial Sweetener on top of them.  It's like powdered sugar but instead its granulated Equal: The Artificial Sweetener!  Also I'm pretty sure that the packet of Truvia is the same amount as the packet of Equal was, and the same amount of any packet of sugar or sweetener-- but I dunno I'm ALSO pretty sure this packet looks bigger and FEELS bigger.  Right?  These are the issues of the days of my lives.  I really should put my electric guitar away in its case it's Gathering Dust.  And I don't just mean that as a metaphor and as a saying.  No dust is gathering on the body beneath the guitar strings THAT'S GONNA WARP THE ...Guitar...UnderStringArea... that's still on the body... the point is NO ES BUENO!
Fascinating.  Right?  That'd be my guess.  One of my guesses, at least.  I've got half a dozen theories I'm working on and That Being Fascinating is but 2 or 3 of them.  To accommodate for 2 or 3, each one has, "That," referring to something different.  Fascinating.  Hey what else is going on and crap.  Has there ever been any scholarly debate on whose stupider: Trump or his Stupidest Supporters?  It's tough, I can see strong points made for either side.  They presumably feed off each other's stupidity so it increases exponentially per my limited understanding of What Words Mean!  Also it exists in base 12 for some reason.  Didn't see That Sentence Coming.
Cool.  What is after GOTG. GOT H LOL GOTH I GET IT!  Also Goths are all into Gothic Architecture, right?  It's mainly an Engineering Movement that happens to like The Smiths as per my limited understanding of Music Scenes.  Hmm engineers are sort of, "Smiths."  They Make things.  They're BuildingSmiths.  Which Microsoft FrontPage doesn't recognize as a word?!?  Hope someone's gonna lose their job over That One!  Me: Is Elliott Smith part of your band?  Morrissey: Well, no.  Me: Well you're a dirty liar then!  They can still be The Smiths without being ALL The Smiths, I guess.  As per my understanding.  The point is hey this section of entry is dunzo!




Go Ahead & Read

    Microsoft FrontPage doesn't even recognize Defund as a word.  Makes ya think maybe there was a Global Or National Or Multi-National But Not Global Conspiracy that made up and/or elevated that phrase purposely to be a wedge issue to bring the movement down.  Or Maybe Beyond Global Or Maybe Not Even National.  Hmm seems to add up.  But what can I, A Website Man, do about it?  Anyway I'm thinking about joining the army so that I could get an absentee ballot.  Gottem.  I can get an absentee ballot in NY probably.  And my vote for president wouldn't make a difference.  But YOU you should consider joining the army so you get to vote.  This was the plot of a Scene In Starship Troopers. 
Another good part about being in the army is Maybe They Let You Leave America.  Hey we haven't had a MilitaryGuy President in a while.  That's probably a good thing.  Anyway what guy with 2 thumbs and several other digits is having some brown rice & salmon filet right now for lunch.  It's the guy whose... wait lemme do the math on those fingers Right Quick... yep it all checks out It's the guy whose Me!  I've said it before, I'll say it again potentially-- Simpsons should be using Base 8.  Probably said it before.  I feel like I've said a lot of this entry before.  Pro-Diarrhea.  Dead Person playing Weekend @ Bernies.  You know, all three jokes of the entry?  if I didn't say them before they've certainly been percolating in my mind!  Also one day I hope to learn how to spel diarrhea.
    It's good to have Life Goals.  That's the impression I've been under.  Hows #MarvelSummerToRemember coming.  Feel like I'll probably watch GOTG today but also I feel like watching something else!  I can fit in both!  Both GOTG and SomethingElse!  Anyway this is the last of the brown rice and I wasn't totally 100% on board with this brown rice I dunno why I got it a 2nd time.  I think I forgot the 1st time was nothing special.  Now have I learned well enough to not get it a 3rd time?  I dunno I can't predict the future except for the fact that in 15-20 years we'll see an AvengerStarWars and that's a best case scenario.  Cool.
Cool.  Pierce Bronson and Judy Dench aren't of the same generation.  That's what makes it FUNNY.  I think its pretty cool that one of the top 5 video games of the 1990's was what if This Random Movie Was A Video Game.  I am referring to GOLDENEYE: THE NINTENDO 64 GAME.  Which is very fun and would have been Much Better if it was over the internet.  Because you could easily Game the game by just looking at what your Multiplayer Opponent is doing.  You're hiding in one spot, you check him out, he'd hiding in his other spot well I guess we gotta tease each other going towards the middle, then scampering back, then doing it again... KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR SEGMENT OF THE SCREEN FOLKS IT'S THE ONLY WAY VIDEO GAMES WORK.  But there's no enforcing that.  And if you're doing it, well, you can be sure your opponent(s) aren't.  So its a microchasm of the real world.  Here we all are trying to play our game and THEY keep looking at OUR SCREEN.  Should be illegal!  Or at least Heavily Frowned Upon.  And I MEAN HEAVILY.
Hey its the last paragraph I can't believe I got there.  Hows those Lynching Investigations going.  And arresting the cops who killed Breonna Taylor.  I'm assuming that's been done?  Because what's the alternative-- NOT having it done?  That doesn't make sense they murdered her in her sleep.  So either it's been done or it's in a for-some-reason-very-lengthy-process-of-it-being-done.  Is it possible we could have Free Government Funded Laser Tag for Cops to participate in to let off some steam and shoot people in a Safe Fun environment?  They'd have to pretend their opponents are the minorities of their personal choice to really get in the spirit of things but it seems like one way to go.
    Hey last paragraph for real this time.  Qualified Immunity?   YOU AIN'T QUALIFIED FOR SHIT!  Qualified Immunity, Herd Immunity... for something good (immunity) it seems to be associated with some crappy things this month!  At least he phrase Herd Immunity really drives the point home of How The Proponents Of It Sees Us.  The point is Great what day is it tomorrow June 27th I can't believe it but I have an entire 9 and a half hours to prepare!  I'm gonna get rid of some of this rice.  I don't need it!  Hmm I wonder what YouTube & TicTac Stars are birthdays today.  Probably!  Also #MarvelSummerToRemember Natalie Portman DID end up sort of hurting people but no a non-violent way.  She had a weapon that like Transported People between space and/or multi dimensions so she could do that to Attackers and be like nope now you in this other place so she neutralizes them but not hurting them.  Also Kat Dennings was there for good measure.  Her Super Power was providing Context To Natalie Portman.
    Alright last paragraph!  I'm under the impression one of the Guardians Of Some Galaxy is Christ Pratt, at least one of the other ones is a CGI animal, and there's one thing that only says one word which I Think Is Its Name its a real Gollum scenario.  Gollum can say other words.  Yeah but Not As WELL.  Sure.  DANGIT I forgot to Re-Up my Fiber One Cookies.  Is there no justice in the world?  There's Captain Justice.  You know the super hero.  Pretty sure there's NOT a Captain Justice but also I'm pretty sure there MUST BE somewhere!  I google Captain Justice there's gonna be some sort of comic book hit.  Yep there was a TV Show in the 80's where a guy writes a comic Captain Justice and then HE BECOMES Captain Justice.  And then I awakened him from his slumber 33 years later and now I Am Captain Justice?  Hmm I dunno gonna have to look into that one... I'll see ya later.

-2:36 P.M.


Thursday, June 25, 2020

What Does This Title Do

    Same ol' stuff all titles do.  Fascinating.  In 500 words, What Do Titles Mean To You.  Maybe I'll write that essay later I dunno might be fun.  In the mean time, hey!  How many words is your standard Crazysheet, "Paragraph?"  Lemme LTURQ!  Around 150 words.  Fascinating.  That's 3-4 paragraphs I gotta do.  WHY DO I ALWAYS PUT THIS STUFF OFF TO THE LAST MINUTE!?  Actually it's The First Minute.  It was JUST assigned.  I can do it right now but I won't!  Because its not a real thing.  It's jut Nonsense!  Anyway, mixing it up today,, having lunch at Very Start of Entry.  We're talkin' a Frozen Meal.  Pasta & Swedish Meatballs if I'm being totally honest.  A dinner roll to pair with it if I'm keeping it One Hundred.
Right?  Sure.  Finished Avengers: Now We're Done Assembling For The First Time In Retrospect, finished Iron Man III, now I'm halfway through Thor: Some Dark World Or Something I Dunno I Don't Have All The Details.  I just had a great idea, and I'm not even joking.  Just eat TWO of these frozen Pasta & Swedish Meatballs at once.  I wouldn't joke about such a thing.  What would be my incentive?  It lacks humor which is a huge mark against saying it in jest.  Anyway.  Can someone do a study and write an article about Historic and Projected Voter Suppression on a State By State basis?  I wanna see what we're up against in the BattleGround and Leaning BattleGround states.  I'd do it but I have no TRAINING in reporting c'mon maybe you do.
Right?  Sure.  I know Georgia has got voter suppression up the yingyang.  It's been specifically in the news the last few years.  That's a Leaning BattleGround State!  The point is Lets Get Into Some laugh-em-ups.  Remember the time I watched Marvel Movies too much.  How can I forget its being immortalized in #MarvelSummerToRemember !!  Also I'm gonna be honest, I get the impression that in the 2010's all Marvel Movies probably turned out more of a Gross than all other movies combined, but they're not That Great movies.  Some are very good.  Some are pretty good.  Some are tolerable.  But it's not THE BEST movies.  They're no Captain Phillips is the point.  Unless Captain Phillips becomes an avenger.  They already have a captain.  Good now they have two.  They can do a buddy picture called Captain Phillips and Captain America.  Lol nice word play Mike.
Right?  Sure.  I was surprised at how dark Iron Man III was at times because it's a Disney movie.  Now it is, at least.  At the time it might have been some other sort of movie.  But now Disney has retroactively endorsed Darkness and I dunno.  What about Fantasia that was pretty dark.  No you think that was dark because you're imagining the Simpsons Parody where it's Itchy And Scratchy in Fantasia.  Right, like I said, Fantasia, very violent and dark.  The Simpsons retroactively became Fantasia is the point I'm trying to make.  Right?  Sure.  Also now the Simpsons are retroactively Disney now?  Which is good because it's a slightly less evil corporation than Fox.  Disney owns Fox now?  Well that's good maybe they'll make Fox Less Dark.  Foxless Dark.  Hmm. 
The point is this entry will pick up steam in the next section.  I'm gonna go ahead and make that prediction.  I was just thinking about it and the Epcot Center of Disneyworld is VERY Separate, But Equally.  See, we got OUR section, they got THEIR Sections, EVERYBODY'S HAPPY!  And that's Walt Disney's ideal world or something.  Well that explains them teaming up with Fox News I guess.  Also lets face facts Universal Studios is better than Disneyworld.  Disneyworld is not without its charms but Universal Studios has MORE charms.  Probably.  Can't think of Charm One right now, but this is an accurate portrayal of how I felt When On Holiday to Florida.  Also how's that back-and-forth between whether Florida is allowed to have a Poll Tax.  I think as of now they ruled against the Poll Tax.  So that's goof for As Of Now!
    Hmm.  I dunno.  Gonna get Coffee #2 of the day after this section is complete.  Fascinating.  Supermarket Delivery tomorrow morning.  You don't say.  Yes I Do I Just Did!  Fascinating.  You Better Believe It Is.  Huh.  Also I was thinking about Biden's ignore polls comment and I could put into words better the problem I had with it.  People WANT to be part of the majority.  They look for cues from their fellow man!  Imagine you're an independent on the fence, truly, between Biden and Trump.  Biden is way ahead in polls.  HEY MR. UNDECIDED IGNORE THESE POLLS THAT SHOWS THE MAJORITY OF AMERICANS ARE ON MY SIDE!  MEANS NOTHIN'!  There's a reason Trump is trying the claim silent majority.  Because in politics its a good thing to have the majority!  The point is if I had one thing I could say to the Biden campaign it'd be 'Vironment.  Also clone AOC so she can do 36 things at once!


You're Still Here

    Sounds accurate.  Anyway I'm almost done with Equal have some Stevia waiting in the wings.  These are the days of my lives.  On a normal day I drink between 20-30 artificial sweeteners JUST IN MY COFFEE.  Gotta imagine Diet Soda includes similar chemical compounds which probably Triples that number.  So basically I'm very Strong in Artificial Sweetener Compounds and whatnot.  Gotta assume that'll pay off in the long run, right?  Stevia, Ey?  Lol I get it.  Anyway Entries aren't always good but even bad entries are good because it reminds us of the good entries that are inside all of us.
    Cool!  Wearin' a nice semi-tight fitting "T-Shirt."  It's an AC/DC t-shirt which I wore in memory of Iron Man.  I assume there will never be an Iron Man IV so after Iron Man III he's Dead To Us.  I know he shows up (ALIVE) in other movies but c'mon that's not Iron Man.  That's Iron Man Phoning It In.  We want REAL Iron Man.  Hmm that movie would do some good business, Iron Man IV.  HOW AM I THE FIRST PERSON TO THINK OF THIS?  Also I assume I've got some royalties coming to me if they do make that movie.  I printed this paragraph out and mailed it to myself so It's All Official and On The Up And Up!  How about a Spiderman IV: From The Original Movie Spidermen.  Or a Batman IV: The Dark Knight Does A Third Thing.  Or a Second Thing, more accurately.  It's the third time The Dark Knight Is Specifically In A Title But The First Time There Is No Verb.  So It's Only The Second Thing He's Doing All In All.  Wonderful!  Or how about a prequel to Birdman where it's just the movie Birdman.
  I think the police have been doing well for themselves in Their War On The America because its hard to keep up with the dozens of Killings they've been doing.  Very overwhelming to keep track of all of 'em.  But the good news is I think Popular Opinion on the subject has been pretty well cemented and will probably even get more and more on the right side of things, and yes, sure, they're going to be getting away with a lot of Murder in the short term but over the next few decades we might make incremental process in Preventing Future Murders.  No one said it was gonna be easy!  Wait did they?  Nope no one did!  Well they should have it would have made a lot of people happy.  Huh.  I think we're not giving up yet for this moment.  Seize the day as Latins say.  C's the day.  The day was adequate all in all nothin' special but could have been worse.  Seas the day.  Sees The day.  Yes there are lots of homophones out there th
at has been made abundantly clear.  I'm under the impression we've been making Police Reform & Whatnot Progress here and there at local levels across the country.  So we got that going for us is the point.
    I've got to imagine at some point Natalie Portman figures out a way to make herself useful in terms of Physical Violence.  Or aiding and abetting Positive Physical Violence.  I guess she and Thor are a thing now and that makes Thor more powerful with The Power Of Love.  But Natalie Portman, c'mon, gotta have somethin to hurt people with.  Probably will by the end of the movie.  Solid 60/40 shot by the end of the movie Natalie Portman Hurts Someone and they're all like HEY NATALIE PORTMAN KILLED SOMEONE THAT'S A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION! and then the credits role.  I mean, YEAH, sort of that's my prediction?  Not acknowledged as explicitly but Something Along Those Lines.
  Even the PencilPusher who worked for SHIELD in Avengers Assembled shot Loki with a gun pretty well.  A powerful gun!  Hit him right where it hurts!   His Body!  Being Low Key with Loki.  Hmm really makes ya think.  What else is going on and crap.  The point is if I get cancer over the next 20 years, (assuming I don't start smoking again), I'd say there's a Majority More than 50% chance it's because of Artificial Sweeteners.  At first I was gonna say over 50% chance, then I was gonna say plurality Because It Sounds Smart, then I was gonna say majority because It Reflects The Content Of What I Want To Say Correctly Not Like That Plurality Shit, and then Hey that's what I did what else is going on and crap.  Oh, right.  Yes.  If I have cancer over the next 20 years, I'd bet even money on hmm turns out shouldn't have drank all that diet soda and Artificial Sweetener Coffee.
Fascinating.  What's the next most possible reason for cancer.  Well, cigarettes, right?  Even if I don't go back to smoking.  I still smoked a pack a day for a solid 10 years, no reason to rule out that coming back to bite me in the ass.  What do I got in store for dinner tonight.  Either Communal Pancakes or Individual Sandwich With Brown Rice.  Too bad I can't have a Communal Sandwich that sounds like a ton of fun.  I've never been in a situation with a, "Party Sub."  Seems kinda Low class.  That's a Poor Person Idea of what's the craziest most awesome thing we can do to celebrate WHY ITS ONLY HAVING A REALLY LONG SANDWICH AND WE EACH GET A PIECE.  I'm interested in a Pizza Equivalent.  Really Big Pizza and we each get 1 slice which is like 1/32nd of the pizza.  I'm not so much interested in Having It as I am in how the Hell are they gonna pull that one off their oven isn't that big.  This isn't in reference to an Actual Pizzeria with an oven.  Yeah I'm just assuming their oven wouldn't be that big.  Fair enough.



Get Out Of The Way

    Sounds accurate. Alright last third of the entry!  Then it's back to Nothin'!  For some reason my favorite Poll to follow is Generic Congress Poll.  Where I think its phrased Just Like Generally If You Wanted To Vote For Either Republican Congress or Democratic Congress Which One.  And it's been stuck at 8 point lead for Democrats.  And I dunno why but the consistancy of it makes me feel good.  It goes up and down literally .2% at most over months or YEARS.  Other polls there's more volatility.  There's more to be upset about.  7.9% up instead of 8.0% for today?  I'm Fine With That I don't see it dropping anymore than another .1%!  WE'RE STUCK AT AN 8% ADVANTAGE IN PERPETUITY!
Fascinating.  The #MarvelSummerToRemember movie after Thor: The Movie I Am Specifically Watching Right Now, I believe is Captain American Film: I Am Some Winter Soldier (Also It's Me Captain American In The Title).  I don't mind going Halfsees with Marvel Enterprises for the Summer.  I could do better, I could do worse.  Partnering up with Marvel just makes sense for both of us, its one of those things.  Also was hopin' to get a small part in Iron Man IV.  Small Part of the production, actually.  I Want To Be Director.  The point is my life's narrative is not unlike Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Deuce.  In that I start off as a prostitute and end up Doin' Something Else Presumably I Dunno I Don't Think I Ever Finished The Third Season.  So there's some similarities there but I'm Slightly More Like Iron Man on account of my AC/DC t-shirt.
    Cool!  Sometimes I'm not impressed with these Inverventionees, how they succumb to the Intervention Pressure and hear out the interventionist and usually go get treatment.  2 out of 3 times, when they're confronted with Surprise Intervention, they're like Fuck This and leave the room and walk away from the building and all that stuff, cool, that's cool!  But then they're almost always talked into returning and they participate in the Intervention.  CMON SHOW MORE CONVICTION THAN THAT!  YOU DON'T WANT AN INTERVENTION??  THEN FUCKIN MAN UP AND KEEP WALKING AWAY!  How weak are you that you give up on your instinct to leave!  You Don't Wanna Do This!  You made the choice to leave now Stick With It!  Of course in theory its good for them to get help.  But also in theory this whole thing is dumb its designed to be good for TV not to be good for People you aint foolin' no one.  That's why I'm Exec Producing a Spin Off of Intervention called F*CK INTERVENTION where we use the footage acquired for Intervention but splice it together to form a more Anti-Intervention Narrative rather than Pro-Intervention.  Also, "Fuck Intervention," sounds like My Kind Of Intervention Alright!
Something along those lines.  I gotta quit it with the, "Fucks," Marvel #MarvelSummerToRemember isn't gonna be on board with Blue language.  Dark Terrorisms Facing Iron Man are okay but WORDS?  DISNEY ISN'T ON BOARD WITH CERTAIN WORDS.  Wait no Disney now owns the rights to George Carlin's 7 Words You Can't Say bit retroactively.  The point is I told you I'm against Fiction Consolidation.  And having an increasingly few amount of companies owning the rights to multiple Fictional MultiVerses is the Business Part of that manifesting in the Art Part.  The point is I gotta write one more paragraph or so and then we're dunzo with today!
    #MarvelSummerToRemember finish watching Thor: Fuckhead and then start and/or finish Captain America: What A Piece Of Shit later tonight.  Are X-Men Marvel or D.C.  Or a third thing.  LMLTURQ.  MARVEL?  WHAT THE HELL?!?  I guess we're on the brink of 2 decade phases of X-Men Meet The Avengers.  YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST gimme them royalties I'm on the verge of mailing it to myself!  Also make me Director and Exec Producer And Interventionist.  Just give me All The Jobs is the point.  Anyway pretty late time for finishing entries on account of starting pretty late.  But the point is we're done with all that now and tomorrow is a new day
presumably.  That'd be my guess at least.  See ya later.

-4:56 P.M.






Wednesday, June 24, 2020

This Keeps Happening

    It's true and I blame myself.  Anyway, Trump had a real side-splitter last night And I Quote: "I said, 'What's the 19?' COVID-19, some people can't explain what the 19, give me, COVID-19, I said, 'That's an odd name."  WHAT IS HE ME?  I wanted that to be a nice clean joke at both my and Trump's expense but because Trump isn't 100% on top of Sentence Structure As Much As I Am it made MY Meta-joke clunky.  DOGDAMN TRUMP.  What does the Give Me even mean?  Anyway looks like a good Election Night last night all things considered.  Progressive Primariers in Bronx, Westchesterton, and Kentuckyville are either confirmed winners or close to confirmed.  I'd rather be a close to confirmed winner than a confirmed loser.  Yeah that goes without saying.  You'd think so.
    It's one of those I'd rather rule in Hell than serve in Heaven.  You know, what was that Hero who said that.  Oh, right, SATAN.  Also where are all the monuments to Satan in churches.  He's an important part of Christianity, I guess The PC Thugs made the priests tear down all the Satan Statues!  COMMENTARY.  By the way I'd rather just Chill On Earth.  Actually I'd rather serve in Heaven.  It's Heaven even serving has gotta be Off The Charts Enjoyable!  Also why am I serving I'm no angel.  I just get to Chill In Heaven presumably.  Sounds fun. Everyone knows Hell is Hot so I guess Heaven is Chill.  Nice central air conditioning all over.  That'd be my guess, at least.  Also I've learned the wrong lesson from that Twilight Zone where the guy is dead and he gets everything he wants and then gets bored of it and finds out He's In Hell.  Ugh how is that any different from what Heaven would be like?  It's still hey do whatever you want forever.  Why is it a given in Heaven oh well suddenly this is good.
Maybe there's constantly activities planned in Heaven.  Yeah you get what you like but there's some daily structure that you have to (GET TO) follow so you don't need to worry about always doing whatever you want.  Sounds fun sign me up.  My favorite thing about Twilight Zone HeavenHell Guy is one of his favorite things to do is to gamble over and over again and presumably accumulate a lot of money.  Uhh he does know Money Means Nothing In This Scenario.  I get that the thrill of gambling is its on reward, whether you accumulate Koopah Coins or whatever or not, but there's no thrill when there's no stakes.  HEY I JUST ROLLED DOUBLE SIXES AGAIN... Hmm that seems to happen every time... amassing a large amount of paper money and/or Koopah Coins... WELL LETS KEEP DOIN' IT I'M STILL HAVING FUN WITH THIS SOMEHOW.    I know he gets bored EVENTUALLY but how does it even last longer than an hour or two. 
In this scenario is King Koopah Satan? I dunno.  And what's Mario-Hell?  Just a never ending Your princess is in another castle. Story of my life.  Great, what else is going on!  Just had a brief lucid fantasy of getting Chipotle delivered.  I was inspired by taking a sip of coffee while actively munching on Tostitos: The Tortilla Chips.  Reminded me of the constancy of a nice, wet taco.  Anyway Captain America: First Avenger Ever has been watched as well as about 1/2 of The Avengers: Assembling In Retrospect.  I liked the first 10 minutes of Captain America because he was a tiny guy like me!  Even shorter BUT not overweight so about as attractive as me.  Plus 2 Inches in height = Minus 50 pounds in weight.  No it doesn't.  Maybe it does! Shows how much you know!
But the point is he becomes a bigger guy and Whatta Jip. Also I know I was ragging on his shield but MAN OH MAN WHATTA SHIELD.  They explain how it is a super power ITS MADE OF A RARE MATERIAL-- THIS IS THE ONLY AMOUNT OF MATERIAL OF IT THAT EXISTS ON EARTH-- SO OF COURSE WE MADE IT INTO A SHIELD AND PUT IT IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE YOU'RE PICKING OUT WEAPONS AT RANDOM.  WE'RE NOT EVEN PUSHING IT.  YOU LOOK AT IT AND WE'RE LIKE OH WELL THAT...  Also I have to think that at some point they're gonna find some reserves of Extra Amounts of this material.  Right?  What are the odds that This Is It.  There's still 98% of Ground to be excavated!  That's my guess!  Hmm I should look into that.  What amount of Earth Landmass has been dug up for Discovery (scientific, oil, OTHER) purposes.  I'd guess not as much as you'd think.  It's a good guess.  One of the best guesses.
    Anyway.  So Thor was fighting Captain America and I was like OH MAN I KNOW WHAT'S COMING THE HAMMER IS GONNA HIT THE SHIELD WTF WHOSE GONNA WIN.  And it Did Happen and basically it was a big Whollop and it blew Both Super Heroes back.  No one really won that.  They both kinda lost.  Or won.  They both kinda won.  But any bystanders lost.  Well I dunno maybe the bystanders weren't effected.  So Captain America and Thor lost because they got blown away but the bystanders won because they got to witness a cool skirmish between Powerful Shield and Powerful Aggressive Weapon.  Right?  Anyway THE HULK CHECK THAT DUDE OUT.  Also what happened to Nick Fury's eye.  Maybe he actually comes from ancient Babylon and got his eye poked out.  And now he's on a never ending Hammurabi's Curse and must poke out at many eyes across the galaxy as possible.  He's a good guy he only pokes out bad guys eyes.  So he's using his Hammurabi's Curse For Good, that's nice.  Also Nick Fury seems calm cool and collected nothing like his name would suggest.  That's my daily #MarvelSummerToRemember Hot Take! 



Lots of Fun

    That'd be my guess.  Also I'm not 50 Pounds Overweight.  It's just that 1) Captain America was Underweight and 2)2 extra inches in height creates a different BMI c'mon get with it!  I'm about 15-30 pounds overweight.  GET IT RIGHT.  Also MY princess isn't in another Heaven.  I don't own any princesses!  Also I'm not in Heaven.  SO its a moot point all around!  Also Covid 19 means its the 19th Covid.  Covid Means Coronavirus.  This particular Branch of Flu or whatever.  How come I know this and the president whose in charge of fighting Covid 19 doesn't know what it means.  I thought he understood the science better than anyone.  That's what he said the scientists were saying about him.  Turns out THE FUCKING NAME OF IT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!
I guess he was joking again. That is the one kind of joke he does.  He says something dumb or ignorant or ridiculous in a 50% joking way and in a 50% honest way.  Part of him knows he should know what Covid-19 means and the other part of him is proud that he doesn't.  And that discrepancy manifests itself as A, "Joke."  Sounds about right.  The point is I'm wearing a nice button down shirt for a reason no one really understands.  I've been wearing Shirts and Pants every day for a week or so!  Ran out of Really Big T-Shirts.  So it's either wear a relatively-too-tight-t-shirt or a nice button down shirt.  That's appropriately sized.  I made my choice and I stand by it.
Right?  Seems like the way to go.  Anyway I'm dangerously low on Meals to eat.  Gotta put together Supermarket Order that will come Friday Morning, but not a lot of choices until then.  The point is Great.  I was reading the NYT poll that shows Biden ahead of Trump 50-36% and I was like man imagine a scenario where I could feel safe with that lead because each vote counts the same.  I know its not happening right now but It's My Ultimate Dream this month.  Then, next month, onto another Castle.  I'll find My Ultimate Dream, yet!  Also Mario really needs to work on his Finding The Princess Location Strategy.  How come its literally always tthe LAST castle he looks.  Seems like sometimes level 1 should be HEY YOU ACTUALLY FOUND THE PRINCESS ON YOUR FIRST TRY THIS TIME WAY TO GO ALL THAT RUNNING AROUND JUMPING ON DINOSAURS WAS AVOIDED!  COVOIDED 19!  WHAT DOES IT MEAN NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS!   
I for one welcome our new Joe Biden overlord.  Tis' better to Serve IN The Biden Administration than... uhhh... go to Mar-a-Lago?  Closest thing I could think of to Hell.  I think if Biden wins, they should compromise with Trump that he doesn't have to leave the White House but he has to go live in the bunker.  Just for the next 4 years Biden is president and Trump lives in the bunker and we occasionally hear from him and he's like I hear a lot of bad things through the ceiling, let me tell you, a lot of people not doing the right thing up there, it's not good.  I think everyone wins that scenario, no?
    Anyway, I dunno.  Also Good On Bowser for keeping the Princess in any castle.  Obviously she's used to Castle Living, but Bowser could easily stash her away in any ol' CrapShack or something, but Hey A Castle This Ain't Bad!  Yeah I'm captive, says the princess, but if you've gotta be captive CastleLivin' is the way to do it!  I like castling in Chess.  Hey King and Rook gonna switch paces.  Ya know, like in real life.  Probably.  HEY I wonder what movie is next after Avengers Assembled!  Iron Man III.  I like those odds Iron Man is my Favorite marvel Super Hero of the last Three Days!  Also I've seen this Hulk guy, both pre-Hulk and As-Hulk... and incredible is NOT  the word I would use.  I mean, yes, it is incredible in some sense.  It's accurate, I'm not arguing it's not accurate.  It's just not the first word I'd use.  BAFFLING, that's the first word that comes to mind.  The BAFFLING HULK HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN IN OUR REAL WORLD?  And then there's 3 dozen other words that I would think of first.  And then I'd get to well it is pretty incredible, both the situation and Him As An Entity, ok, The INCREDIBLE Hulk... can I stop listening adjectives now PLEASE!  #MarvelSummerToRemember !



Right?  I Guess!

    For the most part.  I've done some research and it looks like there will be Marvel Super Hero movies that Aren't Eternals.  Which is a relief because in theory I might be moderately entertained by said movies.  Right, right.  Just read a Biden tweet about that NYT Poll where he's up 50-36% and it was just Ignore Polls.  That tweet upset me.  Because I think he means act As If we were down.  Which makes sense.  But Ignore?  It's like saying ignore the fact that We Are The Clear Majority.  And I'm against that!  It's fun to know that the majority of Americans are Right For Once!  I get the point but still DON'T IGNORE THE POLLS.  They're important for context!  That we're way ahead with the American Peoples!  And Then Sure Fight As If It's not a blow out.  Fight for every inch which is an American Football reference.  But accept happily and take solace in the fact that we're Blowin' It Out as of now!
    What else is going on and crap.  After watching Iron Man II where it appears Scarlet Johansson's main superpower was Hand To Hand Combat, now I realize her super hero in Avengers: Lets Get Together For The First Time is she can coax out a confession with details of the confessional's crimes and future crimes and with those future crimes confessions she can act accordingly to prevent future crimes altogether.  Oh.  Black Widow.  Confession Coaxer.  Now I get it.  Better than Hawkeye.  Who from what I can tell is good with a bow and arrow.  I dunno, though, he hasn't even done That yet.  So far his main super power was succumbing to Loki's Mind Meld and now he's a bad guy.  So basically he's a net NEGATIVE for the Avengers well done Hawkeye very well done.
    He's a super hero for All Of Us who are Net Negatives To Our Friends.  It's nice just to be recognized.  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.  Looks like Only One Real Meal today.  Presumably a sandwich with some Brown Rice that's still around.  Or maybe another Savory Beef Barley.  I don't have all the answers!  In theory the soup is better but in practice ugh it'll gross me out initially.  Also gotta finish this rice AT SOME point.  These are the important issues I deal day to day but specifically today and specifically Right Now very specific to this moment in time and my life.
    Hey presumably penultimate paragraph!  I ain't ignoring no 14 Point Lead poll!  Ignoring polls is what you say to people who are DOWN in the polls to keep energy and spirits high!  We get a GREAT POLL and our spirits are buoyant and you're like NOPE FUCK THAT POLLS MEAN SHIT!  DON'T TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION ONE BIT WE MUST BE ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED.  Anyway I'm happy about AC/DC being Iron Man's Band of Choice In Movies.  They could go with something Metal to go along with the Iron Man Theme (both in terms of Iron is metal, Iron Maiden is a metal band, Iron Man is a The-Black-Sabbaths-Of-Metal Song) but metal is too ALIENATING AC/DC, though, that's a Hard Rockin' Band that REMINDS Us Of Metal But that EVERYONE is on board with!
    What else is going on and crap.  This shirt is too confining.  Much too confining.  #MarvelSummerToRemember.  Figure I'll finish Avengers:This Specific Avengers Movie later tonight but not right away.  Feels like I could decompress with an hour or so of Intervention.  Just to cool down!  Oh man I need my daily Intervention Fix.  Something along those lines? I'm a little concerned about the tendency to consolidate Fiction.  We saw it wit Stephen King.  Its going on wth Super Heroes.  Eventually we're gonna have kids that just accept at face value that Every Other Movie and Book Exists In The Same Fictional Universe.  And suddenly our Universe means Jack Shit.  The Ubiquitous Fictional Universe where there's The Shinings and Super Heroes And Ocean Elevens...  its weird and I don't like it!  Danny Ocean needs to spend the night in The Shining with Black Widow.  Those kinds of movies.  Oh well.  Such is life.  I'll see ya later.

-4:34 P.M.




Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Trying Something New

    The title is accurate!  The good news is I May Be Disenfranchised but at least there's a WHOLE LOT of people who aren't!  Presumably they tend to support The Otherer Side because it does seem a lot of disenfranchised people would be voting My Way, but, hey 90% enfranchisement Over All?  That's still a lotta people who CAN vote so its not so bad.  But, yeah.  This is going on over and over and over again and nothing is done.  DogDamn Congress C'Mon!  It'd be existentially maddening not having a vote if it weren't for the comforting knowledge a lot of other people do have a vote.  But why settle for that??  I SAY WE CAN DO BETTER.  WE CAN GET A SOLID 85% OF POOR/MINORITY/LIBERAL PEOPLE WHO WANT TO VOTE THE CHANCE TO VOTE.  Ya know because Poor/Minority/LiberalPeople are 85% as important.  That's still Very High!  Makes sense to me.  Also Others aren't 100% important either, c'mon.  Others are 115% important.  LETS DO THE MATH HOW IMPORTANT ARE WE COMPARE TO THEM LMLTURQ WE'RE ABOUT 74% AS IMPORTANT TO DEMOCRACY AS THEM NOT BAD!
    Anyway I'm starting to wonder if the Trump Excuse that when he says something terrible he's kidding may actually be in accurate!  1) If we're supposed to take at face value  that he's Kidding when They Say He's Kidding, then we can extrapolate that tone of voice and StoryStructure, which seems as uniform as everything else he says, and deduce oh I guess Trump Is Kidding with 85% of Everything He's Ever Saying.  Maybe that's what his audience thinks.  THIS GUY IS KILLING OMG EVERYTHING HE SAYS I'M LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.  Which to be fair is KIND OF how we see it, if it wasn't also So Existentially Maddening.  But that can't be it.  His audience Applauds at his, "Jokes."  You laugh at jokes not applaud!  Or maybe you applaud because you want to support the Joke Teller but aren't instinctively laughing.  You appreciate his word play and think he did a fine job with the joke and want to reflect you feel that way but it's not LOL funny.
    Or maybe some people are Insane and laugh by clapping.  Somewhere along the line their brain broke and this is how they express laughter!  Seems about right.  I've NEVER seen Trump get a laugh.  To be fair he does some material but, like I was describing last paragraph, it get applause, not a laugh.  He did the bit about I REALLY CAN Drink Water and then he throws the glass away Like ITS NOTHIN!  I think in his mind that's A Great Joke With A Great Physical Humor Punchline.  And to be fair the audience loved it but they APPLAUDED.  I've never seen this guy get a laugh that wasn't at his expense is the point.  And all this is roughly 115% as important as me and millions of my American Cohorts BEING DENIED TO VOTE either completely or through Long Long Waiting Lines and maybe this November ARMY AND POLICE PEOPLE INTIMIDATING YOU AT POLLS and yeah but Trump did something stupid and He's Laughing All The Way To The Bank!  That's another thing.  I've NEVER seen Trump laugh.  Kinda makes him seem like a monster and not a human?
    Anyway, personally, if New York keeps going in the right direction, I'm gonna estimate Me Personally can start taking Outside Walks at the least between, I dunno, 1 and 4 months.  That's just My Own Specific Guidelines Guess.  Anyway.  July 4th in a week and a half.  That's when I estimated I'd be able to Do That Stuff back when Quarantine Started.  Oh well such is life.  Monsignor Fauci said we may be getting a vaccine before 2020.  I hope he's right because that would be great for all of our lives and our society and country as a whole.  I know that's a radical prediction to be made but I dunno!  Also, I said ~85% Franchisement for Minorities/Democrats/PeopleWhoLiveInTheWrongNeighrbohoods?  That's an accurate guess!  Not an exaggeration or downplaying it.  I'd say that about 15% of the people who otherwise would vote are suppressed, denied, illegally discouraged, etc.  Cmon that's only 1.5 people out of every 10!  You've got the same amount of odds to be a Half Person Without A Vote as a Whole Person Denied The Vote AND WHOSE EVER HEARD OF A HALF PERSON?
  Anyway watched THOR: THE FIRST MOVIE OF THOR IN THIS INCARNATION yesterday.  Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Roger Ebert gave it 1.5 out of 4 stars and I'd say that's fair but I'd give it TWO out of 4 stars.  I was in a generous mood!  Nothing much happened but I think my favorite part was to realize yeah technically he's a GOD but he's not unbeatable.  He's more like an Alien SuperHumanoid.  Who the Vikings just decided to worship a millennium ago.  Still lives within the bounds and rules of our universe!  I can't tell you what a relief that was.  Ok so there are SOME rules to Avengers, its not just They Got This Guy On Their Team who, well, is a deity, can't be beat.  In fact you take away this guy's hammer he's downright Vulnerable LETS TALK ABOUT IT.  Same deal with Maxwell.  Without his silver hammer he's hardly worth an entire song about him AT ALL!




Lets Go With That

    Also that's my own fault, thinking too highly of Thor.  I'm reminded, watching that movie, yeah there are Tales of Greek/Roman/Viking/etc gods where they do Live Or Die.  That sounds right now that I think of it.  They fight with each others, they fight with, "Mortals," and sometimes they lose and presumably can die completely!  Kinda begs the question why they define humans as mortals as compared to themselves.  If tey are mortal as well.  Hmm.  What else is going on.  That's MY interpretation of Never Having Read or Studies Greek/Roman/Viking/Etc GodMyths.  I know Rome was founded by two wolves or something.  That's a strange way to build up your civilization.  Also I think One Wolf ate the other wolf.  And that winning wolf went on to be The Roman Empire?  Not 100% on how that shakes out but maybe I'll look into it one day!  Today is Captain America.  The First Avenger!  I also just watched Mister America over last night and this morning.  Who presumably was the 26th or 27th Avenger, I lost count.  Also Everyone In Every Movie Now is an Avenger.  They just don't TALK about it.
    You know how wolves are always founding cities?  Story as old as time.  I wonder if the Boy Who Cried Wolves parable is just a metaphor or if it was really based on that specific example.  Before Modern Time there were just a whole lot of asshole kids who were like I KNOW I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE THERE'S WOLVES AROUND!  And then invariably they get eaten by wolves eventually and the townspeople are like hmm must be a way to discourage this from happening over and over again.  Gotta come up with some parable to discipline our kids more.  Wouldn't just Don't Be An Asshole," cover it?  Just If you're an asshole over and over again eventually people are gonna not give a shit when the wolves eat you.  That's the gist of it. 
    Cool!  Speaking of Crying WOLVES... apparently Voting Absentee Ballot arrived just in time yesterday, but we've been not opening letters for a few days because of CoronaVirus.  So HEY Maybe White Liberal Guys can still vote, jut not Poor Minorities in the wrong neighborhood/CITIES.  So anyway I'm gonna amend the projection of Our Side Gets 85% of our votes counted to... lets see... carry the SEVEN... 85%.  Turns out One vote DOESN'T COUNT!  Yeesh.  That's not the message I wanna put out there.  No, carry the seven again... oop it was a eight see I told ya it was off... 85.00005%!  That almost sounds worse.  Look at all those 0's!  The point is I am aware of other people in the same NY Primary Situation As Me who either didn't receive their absentee ballot or get, "Incomplete," Ballots.  WHEN YOU TAKE AWAY ONE OF OUR VOTES, YOU TAKE AWAY ALL OF OUR VOTES.  It's a good slogan because its Catchy Simple And Accurate Mathematically And Politically And Philosophically.  Lets get that trending #MarvelSummerToRemember #TakwAway1VoteTakeAwayAllVotes that's MY TAKE AWAY Yehahahah The Crypt Keeper Strikes Again!  Wait no, #DONTTakeAway... Whew that was a close one.  People would have seen that hashtag and been lke Hmm Well If You Insist!
Wait a second this isn't Twitter.  THIS ISN'T TWITTER AT ALL!  Oh well such is life.  Anyway lets consult Notebook to see if I have any save-em-ups.  It appears I don't.  Hmm.  That's no good.  Its getting to be that time again for Me To Shave.  Last time was last Tuesday or Wednesday.  In my new role as Adult that I'm trying out these days I am theoretically pursuing the recurring situation of shaving myself with sharp edges roughly once every seven days (a week).  Well that covers that.  Probably will do that later, right?  While Typing That Out, and meaning it but saying it in a weird way for some reason no one is really sure of, I was like yeah I don't wanna do that.  Not today at least.  But now I'm like Yeah I Wanna do that!  Today AT MOST.
Just had the thought I wonder if I take my pants off I'll be able to think of more things to say.  Right?  Am I right?  Nope.  What's going on this week.  Totally Tuesday!  Well for now.  Not all week.  I hope not.  Been Bathing and/or Showering EVERY NIGHT for going on THREE OR FOUR NIGHTS.  Again I'm not leaving the house so does it matter if I'm overwhelmingly smelly or not?  No no one will be the wiser.  And I wouldn't be the wiser.  I can't smell myself.  Who could accomplish that feat of strength.  Also its good for Health presumably.  This was a fun paragraph.



Never Saw That Coming

    That title sounds like a lie.  I'll have to get back to you on that.  Oh Okay.  Romulus and Remus.  Which was the winning Wolf.  Probably Romulus.  Closer to, "Rome."  Rahm Emanuel is Possibly? the modern re-incarnation of Romulus?  Seems to make sense mathematically politically and philosophically...  Hmmm based on reading wikipedia for 6 seconds Romulus and Remus were MEN who were RAISED BY wolves.  So that settles that debate.  How does one go about FOUNDING ROME.  Was he just like Hey I got a great idea we're gonna be a kingdom AND I'M KING my brother's on board so now we just need a few more people...  Also his brother may not have even been on board!  I thought he ate his brother!  That might have been too far but I still think they were/are adversaries!
    Obviously in America everyone is enamored with the Founding Fathers, so does that mean in the hayday of Rome they were all about the Founding Wolves.  THEY'RE NOT WOLVES THEY WERE RAISED BY WOLVES GET IT RIGHT.  There's still a Founding WOLF though.  Without that Motherwolf's guidence and love Romulus and Remus'd be NOWHERE THAT'S WHERE.  I mean weI mean we all know there have been civilizations that have/still do worship Gods or Deities which are basically Other Animals.  But that betrays some weird philosophical psychology.  You see a wolf and are like yep that wolf reminds me of my Mother or something.  Well not MY mother.  But my idol's mother.  Very maternal is the point.  What I wouldn't give to suckle at her teat. That sort of thing.  I mean all religion is WACKY but also These are SPECIFICALLY WACKY IN TERMS OF THIS PARAGRAPH.  Also no one ELECTED this she-wolf.  Right?  Maybe they did.  We don't have all the records from that time so we can't say one way or the other!  AGAIN THE WOLF WAS NEVER IN CHARGE IT WAS JUST THOSE IN CHARGE's PARENT.  I'll get that right one day.
    I think, un-ironically, my favorite part of THOR was they decided to make the movie 20 minutes shorter than the other Marvel movies.  I think they made that decision on purpose and it was the right decision.  Let's just get past this as quickly as possible and move onto THE AVENGERS.  Well, first CAPTAIN AMERICA.  But he's THE VERY FIRST AVENGER.  They made it clear In Titles & Such.  First time Avenger is in the title!  Also the first Avengers movie I THINK was just called The Avengers but now its stylized as Avengers Assemble.  I don't like this you can't just retroactively change titles!  My favorite movie is Kingpin but what if they just decided next month to be like nope now its called My Bowling Friends and Me.  Then I'd have to re-evaluate everything and I don't have the time for that I'm busy Contemplating Shaving!
    Star Wars did it.  If Star Wars jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?  What KIND of bridge.  I dunno I was just quoting A Parable.  The boy who crossed bridges.  Because... wait, the boy who jumped off bridges.  He's a boy who followed Star Wars wherever it went, did whatever it did, much to the dismay of those around him.  Then Star Wars jumped off a bridge and the boy did too because he didn't know any better and that's where The Holy Roman Empire comes from.  You know, Constantinople?  Byzantium?  ANY OF THIS RINGING ANY BELLS?  Constantinople was EASTERN Roman Empire. Holy Romans were GERMAN IT LOOKS LIKE?  I dunno I'm gonna have some people look into that one...
Hey I got lunch RIGHT NOW.  We're talkin' Turkey & Roast Beef on White Bread with a SAVORY Beef Barley and VEGETABLE soup.  They have just, "Beef Barley," which is what I've had the majority of the time.  This time it's That Phrase Which I Just There Used.  You remember it, right?  It was, "SAVORY Beef Barley and Vegetable."  Now you've got it!  Its still gross when its cold and plopping but it tastes pretty good.  Also has it ever been studied if sandwiches are demonstrably better when they include a mix of 2 or more different meats?  Instead of a monochromatic... but meat instead of color... sandwich.  Just googled Latin For Meat.  Cibum.  Monocibumistic Sandwich?  Something along those lines.
  Captain America what are YOU all about.  I know he comes from World War II.  I'm guessing he's America.  Must have been a Captain at some point.  He has a shield!  That can't be a very intimidating Super Weapon for a Super Hero.  It's not a weapon at all.  A super Shield.  Wow you can AVOID getting your block knocked off better than anyone!  I shouldn't poke fun.  I'm under the impression he can Throw His Shield at people and hurt them.  But its still primarily a shield, lets not kid ourselves.  Also what the Hell is Marvel gonna do with The Eternals.  Even before 2008, most of us non-comic book readers were familiar with the majority of the Main Avengers.  Iron Man, The Hulk, ... ya know TWO of them.  MOST.  MOST.  TWO MEANS MOST.  We knew about Thor.  We just didn't realize he was primarily comic book and not  HistoryReligion.  Anyway I can't name ONE Eternal.  And also what if I wanna see Iron Man at some point over THE NEXT TWELVE YEARS.  You're telling me Iron Man won't show up ONCE in movie theaters?  I refuse to believe it! I don't wanna live in that world!
    Cool!  Maybe this'll be the last paragraph.  Somethings gotta be the last paragraph.  It's SAVORY Beef Barley because the pieces of Beef are slightly bigger.  And its Beef Barley With VEGETABLES because it has... some... vegetables... did I reallly need to explicitly go over this?  Probably!  I don't look forward to a world where I have to eat soup around other people and I'm not allowed to slurp soup.  I can't manage that!  What am I some sort of Super Hero?  SOUP.. ER.. HER... OOHHH!  Anyway another day another entry down.  I'll see you guys later.

-4:03 P.M.



Monday, June 22, 2020

That Reminds Me

    How about that!  Just heard my Dad talking about how his final assignment in His Online Class Of How To Teach Online Class is he has to, "Write a blog," about what he learned or what his experience was.   I never WELCOME TO MY WORLD AT LAST.  Now that I think about it I'd read a daily blog by my family.  Monday is Dad, Tuesday is Mom, Wednesday is Brother, and that's it, all three days of the week are covered!  I'd read blogs by pretty much Anyone its an underused artform platform blank canvass nonsense journey.  Anyway I had a dream my right to vote was re-instated.  I ended up getting my Absentee Ballot delivered in the mail on time as it was promised.  Woke up to No Such Luck.  Alright AOC lemme amend my political guidance-- SHORT TERM-- 1) voting rights 2 and 3) black lives matter specifically police reform AND misc coronavirus.  LONG TERM-- 1) Environment 2) LEGALIZE IT 3)LEGALIZE THAT OTHER THING YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
    But the point is No Voting For Me Today!  Or tomorrow.  Presumably they'll let me vote in November because this isn't a battleground state.  They wanna save all their voter suppression, intimidation, and flat-out denial for the states where its gonna count!  Either President Count or maybe there's a Senate or Governor that counts.  Congress?  Yeah I guess that too.  Anyway I totally 100% welcome Trump & Co doing a press storm denouncing Mail In Ballots.  Yes, thank you for igniting the conversation!  If you didn't do that we may not be talking about it at all and then you can suppress the vote under a cloak of darkness.  Now that we're talking about universal mail in voting, most of the American public can clearly see it's important and the way to go so Thanks A Lot!  Keep em coming!
That's MY Hot Take on Politics.  Also it's very very hard for you to win this argument in anything resembling good faith.  Trump himself votes Absentee.  He has said its ok for YOU guys (his supporters) to vote mail in just not THOSE OTHER guys.  Dumb.  Real dumb!  At some point something resembling Good Faith may be re-introducing itself into our Politics World, can't count that out completely!  Well its a spectrum.  We can be incrementally closer to Good Faith Debates and Conversation than we are now without it being anything to be happy about at all.  Again another HOT TAKE from your friend the Cryptkeeper.  I mean, me.  Hmm guess my unconscious mind thinks I'm The Crypt Keeper.  How 'bout that. 
    Time for some goofballs.  Hows Grace Meng doing.  She represents all of us.  Not just me, but my family.  Not just my family, but my immediate neighbors.  Not just my immediate neighbors, but my entire neighborhood.  Not just my entire neighborhood, but neighboring neighborhoods.  Also Neighbor is a weird word.  Just just in the eigh letters sense, but also the pronunciation and structure.  NAYBOR THAT MEANS MAN WHO LIVES BESIDE YOU.  Also, Mr Rogers-- it can't ALWAYS be a Wonderful Day In The Neighborhood.  When you say that EVERY DAY it loses all meaning.  I'd much rather watch a show where he's like Today was pretty good!  And then the next day he's like well its cloudy outside kinda gloomy.  And then next week he's like Alright got some new neighbors lets speculate about them with pre-existing neighbors.
    I never watched Mr. Rodgers.  I'm familiar with his theme song that he sings himself.  The Wonderful Neighborhood song.  You know how it goes.  Still haven't seen the Mr Hanks version.  Presumably its wonderful, I dunno, that's what people are saying.  Anyway, it sounds like a wonderful day in t he neighborhood in good ol' District 6 of NY Presided Over By Grace Meng.  I can hear birds chirp and anything.  Good all the birds haven't died.  That's good news!  Fireworks here and there.  Hey whatever happened to that Caravan.  Have they reached the southern border yet. Also are they still building that wall.  Is it 1) No wall 2) token gesture wall to appease Trump that's really nothing 3) Illegally building wall 4) congress gave Trump money to build wall for some reason 5) wall is complete and its the best wall.  I'm gonna guess some sort of combination of 2 & 3 & 4.  DOGDAMN CONGRESS WHY DID YOU DO THAT.
    Right?  I dunno.  I mean Trump is back to doing Rallies.  This Wall was his big Hit that he'd play at every rally!  I wanna hear some updates.  What else is going on and crap.  Anyway can we form our OWN caravan to intercept the Evil Caravan that's soon to be at the border?  I dunno. Caravans can't fight.  I learnt that in Civilization II: The Computer Game.  Caravans can deal no damage to opposing units/locations.  But it can Store Many Units and move several squares at a time.  That's what caravans do!  You might already know all that based on Knowing What Words Mean For Regular Non-Video Game Reasons.  You might already know a lot of stuff is the point.  The point is we should put a Stratego Bomb right at the southern border!  So whatever it is BLOWS UP.  However there are some problems with this-- what if they're using an EIGHT (or a, "MINOR,") to defuse the bomb?  Also-- what if they deduce where our flag is based on that bomb placement and then use a WATER CARAVAN to capture our flag?
Also maybe that's why dumb people are riled up about our flag.  They think History is decided by a never ending game of Capture The Flag.  So if we start not taking the flag seriously WHOSE GONNA GUARD IT SERIOUSLY?  I dunno.  What else is crappening.  I've never played Capture The Flag.  I've played Laser Tag where Capture The Flag is sort of how it goes.  Not so much fun.  As a kid playing Laster Tag, it could be so much fun, anand it is!, but it could be way more fun!  I dunno about you guys, but when you're 8-12 years old, there's no strategy in laser tag.  Just RUN AROUND A LOT OF CORNERS BLINDLY AND HEY FINALLY SEE SOMEONE TIME TO SH-- OOP THEY GOT MY FIRST.... WELL THAT ENDED QUICKLY.  The point is sure I'd like to have Thursday Night League Night down at the Laser-Tag-A-Torium.  That'd be fun because they're finally taking Laser Tag seriously as it should be!  My Laser Way-Outside-The-Neighborhood-But-Closest-One Tag Arcade place was called Q-Zar!  That's an interesting story!  AI especially enjoyed the correct sentence structure!




Now We're Talking

    Makes sense to me.  I like this entry because I'm a big nerd.  That might be the theme of Most Entries but I'm really leaning into it this entry!  What with the Computer Games and Not Being Good At Sports (Laser Tag should be a sport if done RIGHT).  Part of that is consecutive days watching Avengers with presumably more to come For Weeks If Not Months.  I'm specifically consuming something I Never Had Before that's associated with MainStreamNerddom.  So YEAH I'll talk about computer games, and laser games, and board games.  Basically just a lot of Left Of Center Board Games.  Pretty mainstream but definitely On The Right Side Of Things.  And by the right side I mean The Left Side.  You get the idea.  The point is I FINALLY GOT MY GUM FROM THE AMAZON.
Cool!  Hey I think today is my old friend's birthday.  Good for him.  I remember because it was in his AOL/AIM screenname.  Unless it wasn't. If it was then definitely it was today.  If today wasn't then this whole thing is based on faulty misinformation.  Faulty misinformation is just Information, right?  That's like Trump giving faulty misinformation about Fake Problems with Absentee Voting.  His layers of deception cancels itself out and he's providing a public service letting us know Mail In Voting IS a thing and any one with powers of either intuition OR powers of reading further Tweets by more reputable people can see Mail In Voting is Totally Safe Reliable and lets face it FUN!  You can vote from behind closed doors!  You could vote NAKED.  Just imagine that. MMmmm in my birthday suit goin JOE BIDEN?  CHECK!!!  They don't call it Erection Day for nothing!  Because They don't call it that at all!  You don't check Election Ballots.  Usually fill in a circle.  I'd rather Check but that's a political debate for another time.
The point is no one is debating which VP Candidate would be the most attractive!  Its not fun to acknowledge that Levels of Attractiveness exists and obviously it should have no bearing at all.  But WE'RE NOT BLIND.  It's not important!  They're all great, all very attractive people.  That's all I'll say on that subject!  Let us never speak of it again!  Yep.  I dunno crap and crap.  The point is I watched 2.667 episodes of The Simpsons during my Morning CircleWalk.  That's 1/3rd of an Episode That Is Yet Unwatched. Hmm wonder what happens.  Oh right.  Kinda rememebr.  That was a fun story.
Cool!  Made and Ate that Penne & Meatballs last night.  Gonna finish it for lunch!  Finish all that Penne.  Defrosted and will microwave a Bonus Meatball.  Its a real fun day here in the neighborhood.  Hmm haven't heard a bird chirp since I started this se-- oh there they go.  Well, great, that's just great.  Anyway Birthdays Am I Right.  Hmm, if Coronavirus is around for Years, maybe we'll get to the Amount of Deaths that's a Single Birthday.  Which celebrities would die were it to be today... Meryl Streep!  We lost her too soon.  Cyndi Lauper.  Time after time indeed! ELIZABETH WARREN BIRTHDAY WOW!  Also get aloada this-- Elizabeth Warren and Meryl Streep are The Exact Same Age (71st birthday today) and if Elizabeth Warren was a movie well DUH its only Meryl Streep waiting in the wings to play her!  Universe YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!
Also browsing famous birthdays for today, I got through about 50 and 40 of them were, "YouTube Star," Or, "TikTok Star."  I knew there were Influencers and maybe the odd, "Star," here and there that are Just Social Media Stars.  But if there's 3 dozen TikTok Stars A SINGLE DAY that means there's THOUSANDS of Social Media, "Stars."  Is this something Kids actually know about?  Are teenagers today aware of hundreds of Tik Tok Stars?  I mean someone is counting them as stars.  And its not just FamousBirthdays.com trying to pad out their numbers.  Maybe it is. If I e-mailed a JPEG of myself with the phrase, "Personal Website Star," maybe they'd put it up, I dunno!  It's worth trying!  And I don't wanna wait until December 12th to do it!  Just say it's my birthday, I dunno, 7/1.  Gotta give em some time to put it in the system.  Well I'll get crackin' on that later I guess.  Also I'm sending in a fake JPEG.  I don't want my image on this low rent website.  Also I'm sending in a Real JPEG.  Its just of someone else's face.  A Fake JPEG, they might decide not to put me up at all.  No JPEG?  Well without that what good is he to Our Website.
Hmm what Youtube Star shares MMy Exact BirthdayAge.  HILI KLEIN, famous, "YouTube Star," HILI KLIEN, turning 32 this December 12th.  KATE TODD, famous, "TV Actress," KATE TODD, also a 12/12/1988 birthday.  Also now that you know my birthday don't use it to access sensitive places and whatnot.  It'd be a bust! Farah Dhukai, "YouTube Star," another Possible Twin Separated At Birth.  This is fun for no one.  Also why are people my age trying to be social media s... Oh Right Me Too.  Thatshutmeup.  But I'm trying to entertain MYSELF primarily  Other people can come along for the ride but any entertainment other people get out of this is secondary! And I'm creating GOOD content.  Right?  If you don't think so Get Off My Website.  You're a Bust of An Audience Member See Ya!



It Hurts Me To Say This

    No, it doesn't.  The point is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez should be working on six things at once all the time and also have all those 6 things being done Outside Of herself in the media and in other politicians.  Her birthday is October 13.  Sorry to Birthday Doxx Her.  Now she's gonna get a lot of Happy Birthday Cards in the mail and its all my fault!  Anyway haven't heard any birds since the start of this sentence and the continuation of this sentence and I hear a car horn honking as I speak but no no birds gotta imagine at some point I'll hear a bird but no as of now I guess they've all gone somewhere else although I wouldn't be surprised if I hear one right about now but so far I haven't but ya know what I'm gonna go out of my way to predict that I'm going to hear a bird chirping or perhaps several birds chirping or singing an entire bird song I don't know  HEY JUST HEARD A BIRD CHIRP.  See now I'm leaning into Mental Illness.  Didn't like leaning into Nerddom.  Not me!  I'm MentallIllDom!
Anyway sometimes I come across Aimee Mann's twitter page and her most recent album was apparently called Mental Illness and the four characters in the middle of that are all straight lines.  lIll.  That's MY hot take on Current Music!  And mental illness, I guess.  I should listen to that I like Aimee Mann.  I like lots of music.  Oh well what can I do about it.  Nothing!  Right?  Make me a nice Mix of birds chirping and I'm happy.  You can even go 45 seconds without a bird chirping at times and that'll only get me MORE interested.  When's it gonna start up again?  This is Some Art just waiting to happen!  Anyway, gonna have lunch in a bit presumably.  Real presumably! Valuable Content.
I'd rather be a Nerd than a Crazy.  So I guess I should continue #MarvelSummerToRemember.  That's a mainstream nerd, though.  Not even a Cool Nerd!  Also when I made this penne originally last night, I could have taken it out of the Boiling Water 45 seconds earlier!  A little on the soft side!  but that's okay it still is good.  GREAT 3 PENNE JUST FELL ON THE FLOOR.  Just my luck.  Those are three Penne that I'm never getting back!  The point is Captain Marvel or whoever owns Marvel: The Real Life Company should sponsor my Summer as #MarvelSummerToRemember.  And every day I talk about The Avengers.  They'll especially like the part of yesterday's entry when I Shit All Over The Eternals!  All press is good press!  Certainly got us all Thinking about The Eternals a year ahead of schedule!
    And presumably the spring would have been sponsored by Tales From The Crypt.  That franchise doesn't exist Right Now as per my understanding, though, so that would have been a tough sell.  What do I got in store for dinner tonight.  This Entry is brought to you by My Dinner.  What Will It Be?  Probably Chicken Fingers And Rice.  That's What My Gut Is Telling Me At This Very Moment.  Also I said Meryl Streep could play Elizabeth Warren but has Elizabeth Warren ever thought about playing Meryl Streep?  Just a thought!  Make of it what you will.  I know I am!  Oh boy if you only knew How I Was Making It. 
Last paragraph!  Possibly!  Anyway I mistakenly said earlier in the entry that Trump votes by mail.  What I should have said was ALL THEM TOP REPUBLICANS vote by mail.  I apologize for any confusion this may have caused.  Anyway.  If Forrest Gump was a movie in the 2030's, I presume the Forrest character's interaction with Trump would be Him Punching Trump In The Face.  Because we're supposed to like Forrest Gump.  And any other interaction would make us have to re-evaluate whether we like Gump or not.  So he pretty much has to knock his block off.  Metaphorically.  Forrest Trump.  Donald Gump.  Something along those lines.  I'll see you guys tomorrow!

-2:53 P.M.




Sunday, June 21, 2020

Give It a Rest

    Alright.  Hey today is a different day than yesterday!  I crunched the numbers and everything.  Hey its the second day of Summer!  For most of my life I just thought every season starts on the 21st.  March, June, September, Winter.  Turns out I was wrong?  I dunno, I still feel I was right and now its the world that is wrong.  But the point is based on Yesterday this summer will be AVENGER-CENTRIC.  Disney has most of the Marvel Franchise from 2008-2019(?) and I figure if I watch One Film a day that lasts me like 3 weeks!  Its fun!  I just watched Iron Man I: I, Iron Man.  It was okay but I wasn't 100% on board with Robert Downey Jr being Great at Everything and having a uniformly Great Life.  I thought I was supposed to RELATE to protagonists not ENVY them.  Where's the fun in that.  Hey there's a scene where Iron Man has sex with a lady.  GOOD sex.  C'mon I'm supposed to buy that?  Men and women have good sex like its nothin'?  YOU'VE LOST ME!
    For the majority of Iron Man there's no Ultra Villain and in the end there's a big fight sequence but even when that materializes I'm like c'mon this is no challenge for Iron Man.  I guess I have to wait until Iron Man II for Iron Man To Actually Be Challenged.  Something along those lines.  The point is the next film Chronologically is Some Incredible Hulk: The Movie but that does not appear to be on Disney Plus!  Such is life.  Also is there a reason there's multiple billionaire Super Heroes?  When in real life your standard billionaire is Michael Bloomberg?  He's the last person I'd mistake for a super hero.  I guess Elon Musk is kinda going for that.  Jay Z.  I'd buy Jay Z as a low key super hero who often doesn't have to do anything but when he does have to do something Oh Boy Does He Do It!  I don't know much about Jay-Z.  That's why its easy for me to imagine Him Not Doing Much.  That's what he already does In My Imagination.  Because I don't know anything about him or his character.
I enjoy half a dozen of his raps!  And presumably I will Lead A Life where I become more familiar with more of them because That's How Life Goes!  The point is he's the reference becasue he's a rare billionaire.  Not a lot of people are billionaires!  I know one of the Kardashian/Jenners is a billionaire and its not even Kim Kardashian.  That's gotta rattle her, right?  Unless it was her father the LawyerMan.  She got her start because of him, so if he was more wealthy, that's okay, she started out Him Leading To Her.  But if another person becomes a billionaire because She Led To Them, that's gotta steam her griddles.  I dunno.  I guess if there's no Hulk, tonight is Iron Man II?  LMLTURQ.  YEP Iron Man II.  Then THOR which DisneyPlus does seem to have.  I guess I'll have to let my imagination Run Wild with how Incredible Hulk was introduced to this Franchise.  ....Just kinda imagine him chilling As The Hulk And Not Bruce Banner.  Just sitting around, maybe in a science laboratory.  He looks upset but that's because he has Resting Hulk Face, deep down he's just bored.
    That's MY hot take on the hulk.  Hey my coffee gotta be ready by now right
.  Whose the other billionaire with an outsized personality.  You know the guy I'm thinking of.  LMLTURQ MARK CUBAN.  Plus I thought of it EVEN BEFORE LIURQ!  So good for me.  Hmm what Jay Z songs did I enjoy as a child. Big Pimpin'.  I related to it because yea i know what thats like!  Anyway that was the main one when I was a kid.  Kinda just a Chilling Out Song.  Not really pumping you up, not cooling you down, its just Sorta THERE.   Big pimpin, spending G's, big pimpin and whatnot is how the lyrics go.  And its fun to listen to its good but also its just yep big pimpin' you called it what else is going on.
    Oh, right, coffee.
  I think Jay Z can handle Not Doing Much In My Imagination Version Of Him.  Just sorta hanging out.  Maybe that's the persona he's carefully crafted.  Just some dude hanging out c'mon.  Either that or Real Good Rapper One OF The Best.   I think that's more accurate.  That he's very respected as One Of The best.  He talks about it in raps a lot!  A lot of rappers do!  That might be THE most common theme.  Hey I'm Doin' Pretty Good At This Rapping Thing Going On Right Now!  And by the most common thing, I don't mean its a Majority of All Raps.  I just mean, at 10% of all rap-rhymes, its more than any other single thing!  Sounds about right, right?  Oh, right.  Coffee.
    That's mostly a hip hop thing, right?  I mean there's braggadocio and whatnot in rock music, but there's no lyrics like YO JUST HIT YOU WITH A REALLY CHILL SOLO, THIS IS A ROCK SONG YOU... UH... SOLO, OBOE, SLOW MO, POGO, C... LEMME START OVER.  YO JUST HIT YOU WITH A REALLY SWEET SOLO, THIS IS A GOOD ROCK SONG BUT I CAN ALSO BEAT YOU AT POLO.  Oh, right.  Coffee.  Wait no.  This is a good song song but it aint rap its rock 'n roll!  Oh, right.  Coffee!  I think part of the premise is Jay Z doesn't Need To Be Doing Anything!  He's Jay-Z!  That's what I've been led to believe!  Also he Rhymes with Crazy so of course I'm on board!  Also my main Rap Friend at the time went by Jay on occasion (His name was Jon!  Presumably he was influenced by the first letter in that name) so I get being friends with Jays.  ESPECIALLY Rap Jays.
    Anyway, finally got that coffee.  Had a dream last night AOC asked me to be her advisor.  And I assumed she meant like a campaign advisor, but then when I woke up I also took it to mean just her Political Advisor even beyond campaigning, just in politics.  And I was like I'll Do It If You Focus On The Environment, and in my DreamHead, I was like well I'm just blowing this opportunity up, she's not gonna be on board with that, so as a deal breaker I'm just Walking Away From This Once In A Lifetime Chance.  Then I woke up and was like wait she's GND through and through FUCK NOW I'M STUCK.  I got better things to do in my dreams!  Like... uhh... Smoke Cigarettes!  Best thing I could come up with in terms of things I often dream about lately.  But I don't even enjoy the cigarettes in the dreams!  It's always like fuck I meant to quit and now here I am Not Even Enjoying It!
    Also I have semi-often recurring dreams where I'm losing most of my teeth.  So that's KINDA fun.  Like, you remember, when you lost your Kid Teeth, a teeth would barely be hanging On To Gum, and you can poke at it with your tongue and play around with it.  Basically THAT but, yeah, once you lose the tooth, another one isn't replacing it.  But you can still have as much fun with it as possible-- try to make the best of a bad situation!  Poke at it with your tongue.  Envelop it with your tongue!  And even once its gone, then you can use the tongue to fit between the Two Surrounding Teeth that are presumably still there.  Also there's always Fake Teeth, right?  That's my impression of dentistry.    Something along those lines.  ... ... I mean, in retrospect, Global Warming probably is my #1 issue.  But in the dream, my mindset was I don't realllly want this job better self sabotage.




I Was Thinking of Something Else

    Oh, yeah.  I don't care about THOR.  Anyway here's my ONE TIME ADVISEMENT FOR AOC-- 'Vironment.  That settles that permanently.  So, great, I'm gonna have to cook dinner tonight but there are worse things that could happen in the world.  For example Vironment might need addressing.  If only someone were advising our representatives About It!  That's my dream, anyway.  Anyway, right, dinner tonight.  Freakin' pasta with meatball.  Spaghetti?  I dunno!  Penne?  Probably!  Would I prefer spaghetti?  Obviously!  Would I even be interested in some Fettuccine despite it being a Tomato based sauce instead of White-Based-Sauce?  Sure!  The point is get off my back about it.
Lunch'll be soon.  I'm thinkin' 1.5 chicken fingers as well as .75 cup of Brown Rice.  That'll be nice, real nice!  Is it too late to withdraw from AvengersSummer?  My guess is yes the cards have already been dealt the ship is set in motion I will be watching Iron Man a lot.  He's the head Avenger, right?  You'd think THOR would be the head avenger because he's a fucking GOD as per my understanding.  But he's got No Personality!  No one can relate to Thor so what good is he being the Head guy.  Just use him when you really need to.  Iron Man is Full Of Personality makes perfect sense he'd be the head Avenger.  Also he's got all the resources to fund Avengers, if they're not publicly funded.  I know they sometimes work with SHIELD or whatever but I think the enterprise overall is privately funded.  It does raise the question, though, do The Avengers turn a profit?
    Because if not WHY BOTHER.
  Also maybe for The Eternals it can be a running commentary on Improving Law Enforcement to Not Want To Kill Us And Beat Us Up?  Figure culture could handle that over the next decade.  Trick people into not abusing their law enforcement authority.  Based on how their favorite super heroes may or may not act.  Easy.  Easy!  JUST ANOTHER PHASE OF THE CULTURE WARS.  Hollywood trying to CORRUPT our HYPER-VIOLENT AND RACIST POLICE FORCE.  Will they ever learn?  Anyway what kind of super heroes are Eternal.  I can't wait to find out!  Am I saying that right.  Eternals? WHAT THE HELL the Eternals are all ALIENS?  First you have super heroes Having Good Sex.  At Least They Were Human Like Me.  NOW THEY'RE ALL ALIENS?  THIS IS GONNA BE A BUST. 
    Right?  That'd be my guess.  I sure hope Marvel isn't predicting an Alien Takeover for the 2020's and they're trying to cater to their new audience.  Because as a Human FROM EARTH I would NOT be okay with that.  Does that make me a racist?  That I'm just dismissing Being On Boards With Aliens?  I don't think so.  Maybe you should get to know them instead of just assuming the worst.  FINE you may be right.  Maybe the aliens are good and decent people.  I'm just imagining them to be jerks, though.  That's on me I guess.  Fine where you keepin' the aliens I'll go talk to them Jeez.  Anyway instead of having lunch I am having A Single Chicken Finger.  Dinner is already only 3.25 hours away!  Also a bunch of coffee.  Nice, hearty coffee.  That'll fill me up!
Cool!  Last paragraph of this section presumably.  I like those odds!  Also if super heroes are eternal what are the stakes.  They're here forever as per my understanding of Word Definitions.  Just because THEY'RE eternal doesn't mean the people whom they fight for and on the behalf of are eternal.  The Eternals can't lose themselves, but if they're defending us Humans, them being Eternal doesn't mean WE'LL always come out on top.  GOD DAMN SUPER HERO SEMANTICS.  Anyway.  So I got that going for me?  I forgot what I was talking about, sorry.




No, That Wasn't It...

    That'll do it.  Oh Right how's investigating those lynchings going?  If you need Super Heroes to tell you to investigate lynchings watch Watchmen: The HBO Show!  A lynching happens and Super Heroes presumably were interested in who committed it as per my memory.  Uh oh gotta go back to comedy nonsense.  Hmm.  OKAY STARTING... NOW GO!b NOW FO... RIGHT NOW_!---->  More people doing lynchings than showing up for Trumps speech right?  What if I told you Teenage TicTalkers and K-Poppers were suspects?  THEN would you look into who is going around killing African Americans in a fashion very historically relevant.?  And also YEAH its funny that 1,000,000 people turned out to be 7,000!  Its funny because it presumably made Trump feel bad!  And it's also good because I guess people are getting hip to his bullshit.  But sure THE REAL STORY HERE IS TEENAGERS!  Sounds about right now that I think about it.  Will Those Wacky Teenagers EVER Learn?
    Lets hope not!  We're gonna need their shenanigans to defeat Trump presumably.  Alright TikTalkers And K-Poppers you got your taste of Power & Victory NOW TRY TO TOP IT!  What's your next move!  Don't let us all down!  I don't wanna be reading Twitter 4.5 months from now and it all being like WTF TEENAGERS LET US DOWN AND NOW TRUMP IS PRESIDENT AGAIN?  ALL BECAUSE THE TEENAGERS DID... (Or DIDN'T...) somethin.  Here's a good prank that I KNOW teenagers are capable of-- Hey lets all be eligible to vote but NONE OF US VOTE LOL WOULDN'T THAT BE A GOOD PRANK.  Teenagers have been doing that for generations, lets be real.  They really wanna parlay their Victory Here?  Trick your entire 18-19 year old faction into showing up to vote!  It's the exact opposite of what you just did, kinda  a poetic way to seal the deal, isn't it?  Go for it!   GODDAMNIT I WANNA SEE WHAT THE HULK IS ALL ABOUT
    Also I've seen probably around 20% of these movies.  Maybe four or five out of the 20-30.  So I got that going for me is the point.  It's fun though to watch Super Hero Movies because its like Hey I remember TWO THOUSAND EIGHT THIS MOVIE WAS A BIG DEAL BACK THEN JUST IMAGINE WATCHING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MOVIE THEATER AND HEY IT'S 2008 AGAIN ITS LIKE IF BACK TO THE FUTURE WAS A MOVIE.  So I made that point silly, but its also pretty accurate in terms of what I'm lookin' to get out of this Month of Binge-watching Super Heroes Fight Super Villains or Just Regular Villains If Its The First Movie With Them In It Because They Need To Work Their Way Up To More Powerful Villains Over Time.
    Right?  I guess.  Also I only found out recently Marvin Berry was a real person, he was in the real band which did the real song Earth Angel.  I thought it was just a throwaway line-joke,  Hey Chuck this is your cousin?  Cousin Marvin Berry?  Pretty shocking to learn its based on true events or at least true characters.  Plot Hole-- how did Marvin Berry find a phone in an unfamiliar environment so fast AND be close enough to the dance that he could get Martin McFly's guitar to go over the phone?  Man OH Man a plot hole in Back To The Future.  They're never gonna live that down!  I call toilets Plop Holes.  That settles that.  What fun.  Not 100% on the term outhouse.  Outhouse Steakback.  Alright that settles that again.
Cool!  Well this has been another fun entry.  I can't wait until tomorrow's entry!  It's gonna be roughly equally as fun is my projection.  The point is Hey Its Summer.  When will I feel comfortable taking walks again.  Will it be this Season?  Next Season?  A future Season? LAST SEA... no that can't be it.  The point is I presumably will be able to go outside regularly without caution at SOME point, right?  That'd be my guess.  Oh right gotta wish my dad a Happy Father's Day.  Happy happy father's day.  Something along those lines.  The point is I'll see ya later.

-4:11 P.M.




Saturday, June 20, 2020

I Am Here For Good

    And by Here I mean, "Here."  And by Good I mean, "Good."  That covers that.  Anyway after my shower last night I was like I'm gonna put some of that Hair Putty in my hair just to see what'll happen.  Really squeeze out a lot of the hair silly putty and rub it in there.  So I slicked back my hair and combed it neatly, slicked back-like.  And I looked like a Movie Millionaire (NOT MULTI) villain, who  thinks he's, "All that," but who in reality is caricature-ish and not to be taken or treated seriously.  But all in all I KINDA LIKED THAT LOOK.  Somehow that's better than how my hair implies what kinda guy I am without it!  Also I WOULD be an, "All That," villain to be taken seriously, if not for my height, which immediately drops my character down to caricature-ish and mockable.  That's Movies for ya!  Anyway, in my mind, I was thinking this is like Dennis Hopper as King Koopa in Super Mario Brothers.  And it's not far off, but its more Regular Hair instead of what a DinosaurMan might have.

     Anyway does that remind you of anyone else?  Yeah I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING... THE OTHER FULL OUT DINOSAURMAN LOOKS A LOT LIKE YOU TOO!  Also why in the Hell was King Koopa the Villain in MarioMen The Movie when Bowser is way mor iconic?  Seems wrong!  I think I remember reading that Dennis Hopper was like the reason I agreed to do this was because my Grandson Loved Mario and begged me to do it.  I was wrong.  I may be mixing this up with Raul Julia playing Bison in Street Fighter.  Or, easily, it could be the case for both movies.  But, also, c'mon, those are two fun movies!  I'd take a lie detector to confirm as much!  Well, I can't say for sure IS THIS IS A UNIVERSALLY FUN MOVIE?  I dunno.  But if they're asking DID YOU PERSONALLY FIND THESE TO BE FUN MOVIES then I can say Yes! and they're like DAMNIT YOU WIN THIS ROUND, LETS GO AGAIN, C'MON.  Also I feel like if I was facing a lie detector test about Basic Knowledge I'd be like I Dunno! to 80% of the stuff and the lie detector detector is like hmm he's telling the truth.
Anyway, what else is going on.    The point is, superimpose Dennis Hoppers hair onto the Goomba's body, AirBrush the hair a but so its more Uniform and not Lisa-Simpson-esque-Spiky, and hey its like looking into a mirror!  Also I feel like that Big Smile is accurate for how I feel but I'm not very good at smiling.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can make a nice distinct Frowny Face.  I can make a semi circle Frown really good.  But if I try to do a semi-circle in the other direction (a smile) I can barely get above a straight line.  So straighten out those mouth muscles is the point and its me.
    Is it possible someone does a Bane at Trumps rally and the ground explodes and he falls to a watery death (I assume arena is built over a reservoir).  I'd settle for a Sudden Death and... uh... they're trapped there several hours while the Terrorism Pay Off Fee is Negotiated.  Has anyone ever asked Trump if he would negotiate with Terrorists.  You don't wanna start negotiating with yourself burrrnnnnn.  Also its not a stretch to say Trump terrorizes us multiple times a day.  Not just abstractly, either.  If he was tweeting the exact same tweets from an anonymous twitter account you'd be like, well obviously the FBI is looking into this, right?
    It's funny because its true!  Then it's NOT FUNNY AT ALL because its true!  Then its BACK TO BEING FUNNY AGAIN.  Something along those lines.
  Anyway yeah I know I'm making a big gamble putting A Picture In The Entry.  And then having Wrap Around Text.  Sometimes you gotta take risks.  That's my hot take.  Also King Koopah is way more than a millionaire.  He's the guy in Charge of Alt-Universe-Dinosaur Land that the Mario Bros end up in.  He's gotta be a multi-millionaire of Koopah Coins, and his power isn't tied up in the amount of Koopah Coins he has anyway, its in that He's an authoritarian leader who rules his constituents with an iron fist.  Also he has a bunch of ladies (presumable princesses) locked up with Yoshi-- A Good Dinosaur who isn't a man at all and speaks no discernable language.  Why would dinosaurs keep other dinosaurs as pets?



Best of Luck

    Also the My Hair is thicker because I haven't had a haircut in over 3 months.  So that adds another dimension I guess.  What else is going on.  For some reason in Mario Bros: The Major Motion Picture, the alternate universe the Mario Bros Plumbers end up in (where Dinosaurs evolved into humanoids instead of Apes), there's a very congested city where everyone lives and then a huge, huge wasteland.  Sorta like how in Beetlejuice the ghosts can hang around the house all they want, but if they try to leave it, there's just unless dessert with giant worms that'll eat ya.  Anyway, its particularly odd because Mario The Video Game doesn't take place in a city at all!  Kinda hard to say where it does take place.  Specifically Original 2-D Marios.  Well there's a lot of tunnels that seem completely pointless if you go down them.  Nothin' there at all.  And there's Shelves you can jump on, again, not sure why those are there either.  Then at the end there's a flag pole.  Hmm.
Who came up with the plot of Mario.  Ok our protagonist is an Italian Plumber.  He either avoids dinosaurs or jumps on dinosaurs to kill them.  He sometimes eats mushrooms to become bigger.  At 1st, his enemy is a giant monkey and/or ape.  Then, later, several, more powerful, dinosaurs become his opponents.  There were discussions about this!  It didn't just happen and everyone was like oh obviously this game plot makes sense.  They had to debate back and forth the merits of the narrative and characters and settings presented in these video gamesThen its like ok kids love this Mario character-- but what if he had a brother?  A more green brother.  Mario wears a red hat, but his brother (anyone gotta problem with the name Luigi?) he wears a green cap.  And of course all the social implications that come with wearing a Green Hat
.  Which exist, because I dunno about you, I ALWAYS related more to Luigi.  That can't just be me, right?  To be fair, a lot of that is based on Luigi's driving-character/abilities in Super Mario Cart.  But I think a big part of it was He's Green.  Yeah I dunno Mario is OKAY I just, "Get," someone with a green hat that much more, its just a feeling! 
I always related to Luigi more, but when I would play Super Smash Bros in College, Mario was my go-to.  I basically just used the duel moves of Hitting Opponent With My Cape [when did Mario get a cape?  I never thought about that] and then Upper Cutting Them [when dc Mario start Upper Cutting people?].  You hit them with the cape, it barely does any damage, but it Turns Them Around To Face The Other Direction, which leaves them primed to get hit with an uppercut which again does little damage, but you can do these two in tandem over and over and over again and eventually it'll add up!  These are the real issues that my generation faced as young adults.  Anyway.  Made that Communal Roast Chicken last night for dinner.  It was great!  There's some left over for lunch today!  Which'll be pretty soon!
    Also it's Super Mario Bros but you never see them together.  It's always one or the other.  There's no Single Player Mario where you're Mario or Luigi and then an AI Mario or Luigi is fighting alongside you.  In fact I kinda get the feeling there's just one of them and he's replacing his Hat And Cape wit a different color.  He's Mrs. Doubtfiring us, basically.  Or he's got multiple personality disorder, I dunno.  Whatever it is its not good.  It's just a shame that the people who created this game are falling for it.  They all know there's only One Mario Brother but they continue to Title And Frame Their Games as if there's more!  IT'S A SCAM!  Also is Princess Peach always Into Mario?  Is she sometimes Into Luigi?  In the film I think Luigi is more attractive than Mario, that's easy, right?  A Young John Leguizamo vs a middle aged Bob Hoskins.  Not exactly rocket science to see what Princess Peach is gonna be into in that scenario.
Anyway the 3rd related search for the Dennis Hopper Image I just used was in fact Donald Trump.  So, there ya go, make of that what you will. THEY WERE TRYING TO WARN US!!!  I mean now its taken for granted that Obviously Trump is A Villain-- One Of Worst Of All Time Or At Least Modern History.  But at the time he was getting a lot of good press!  Our Culture generally shined bright on him as per my understanding!  So Good On Mario Bros Franchise for recognizing yeah yeah this guy is evil.  An evil DinosaurMan.  Something along those lines, right?  So the point is I'm gonna take another break and then be back with Lunch and Presumably Finish The Entry.  Anyway.  I understand there's nothing groudbreaking in this entry.  I liked the bit about how Trump should be investigated by the FBI.  Instead of consolidating power in the FBI.  Seems like a pretty big oversight!     



There's Always Tomorrow

    The good news is there's a good amount of chicken left but its all stuck to the Main Bone SuperStructure of that there Roast chicken.  It's all pickin' at bones and no nice, clean big pieces.  I dunno at first it annoyed me but the more I pick At Chicken the more pleasure I get out of it.  Kinda fun!  Also it's possible, just possible, this is an extremely early dinner as opposed to an extremely late lunch.  Gotta be one of 'em!  It's fun having a Pick-At-It Meal during Entry.  I get to Pick At It for a solid 30 seconds, then be like I'm\m come back to u LATER, pick at Writing Paragraphs for 30 seconds, then be like Time to switch it up! and basically yeah its a lot of fun.
    What else is crappening.  When's Joe Biden gonna do some rallies.  I'm ready to see what Joe Biden is like in a Rally Type Setting.  Also, is he still challenging people to Feats of Strength contests?  Or was that just to win over Primary Voters.  Hmm.  It WAS his strategy in the primaries.  I haven't heard him talk about Push Ups since.  And he has a comically great foil in terms of Not-In-Shape Trump.  So the point is Sure I'd be Legit On Board with an all out 30 second campaign ad that's just 100% making fun of Trump for being out of shape and talking up Biden.  It may not be smart politically, but ya know what, maybe it would be!  That must be something they're considering.
    At what point does Biden's team start campaigning as the Front Runner as opposed to it being a toss up.  I know, there's still a totally plausible chance Biden loses.  But that doesn't mean you just do things the exact same way as you would if it was a toss up, strategically.  Yeah prepare mentally to lose, but in practice, you have to acknlowedge/make use of your current advantage!  That's MY hot take.  The bad news is there's hardly any chicken left except for the skin,  The good news is maybe I wanna eat the skin ever think of that?  I'll never get in BidenShape by eating skin.  Huh.  My guess is I was brainwashed a bit by Biden Campaign talking how Strong he is.  He's probably relatively in shape for his age but I could probably run circles around him Very Literally!
    Ugh.  Specifically literally.  I'm sure he can Run Politics Circles around me.  Cause that's his job.  He's done it a long time!  I've hardly done it Zero Percent of My Life!  Mmm just had a nice big slice of skin.  It tastes good because its bad for you.  That's my hot take!  It's concerning to see interviews with Trump supporters where they are literally, by far, way more confident Trump will win than Biden supporters are that Biden will win.  And Biden has, what, between a 60-90% chance of winning depending on where you're looking?  That's some dissonance for you!  But it can be easily explained that Trumps Base is Stupid. 
    Hey last paragraph!  Probably a late lunch.  I'm in the mood for some late dinner tonight lemme tell you now I'm calling it early.  Gonna be a nice late dinner tonight?  What could it be, hmm.  I got some Nice Chicken Fingers.  Yeah 2 out of my last 3 meals have been chicken, I don't mind, Chicken is good, I'll eat it all the time!  I'm trying to get into watching Drama movies.  It's weird though, because its like oh right the main point of All Movies isn't Cheap Thrills.  As I've been led to believe over the last 6 months.  It's EXPENSIVE DRAMATIC THRILLS!  Also when you're watching a cheap ass crappy horror movie from the 1970's, you're very aware You Are Watching A Movie.  A good high quality drama movie?  You get engrossed in the movie!  I like those odds!  Anyway that's about it.  My fingers are greasy.  You heard it here first!  I'll see you guys later.

-4:59 P.M.




Friday, June 19, 2020

Good Work

    That's what I've been led to believe!  I was thinking about how in cartoons people are always drinking jugs of, "XXX."  Google seems to think it might be code for Moonshine.  Doesn't get that much more, "X," then moonshine, duh.  Also WHY.  Did they think if the jug said ALCOHOL kids would wanna drink it?  Well great now instead of having kids drinking moonshine you got them looking at pornography.  Which is what I always thought, "XXX," meant.  Or a winning hand in Tic Tac Toe, one or the other.  Hmm lets get some Tic Tac Toe Tournaments going.  I know there's only so many ways the game can play out that it can get pretty boring but not to me I STILL FIND IT RIVETING. 
Go to your local neighborhood friendly Alcohol Store and be like Gimme a jug of XXX.  Like in the cartoons.  Also make sure its a Musical Jug so if when I finish the XXX and I get bored I can blow on it for entertainment.  Anyway, I have a big problem with YouTube that must be universal but No One Dares To Talk About-- the volume setting for youtube videos is VERY LIMITED.  The difference between the lowest possible volume without it being on mute, and the highest possible volume-- very little difference!  I gotta constantly adjust my COMPUTER's volume and/or my PHONE's volume and one would imagine if I had some sort of E-Book Or Tablature I'd have to adjust their Generic Volume.  Youtube volume?  FIX IT I DON'T GET YOUR MOTIVATION SHOULD BE A VERY SIMPLE FIX THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE WORKED OUT 14 YEARS AGO.
    Maybe its just me.  Youtube has an algorithm that determined if I can't change volume that much I'll stay on youtube longer and watch more ads?  I dunno the math behind that but maybe you do.  Anyway received Super Market delivery this morning.  I answered the door like a big shot and totally wiped down the Fridge & Freezer stuff and then put them away.  In the fridge and/or freezer.  Whichever one made the most sense!  We got some kind of Whole And/or Half Roast Chicken for the first time so we're doin' that for dinner.  Awesome!  It's Real Meal.  Plus more of those potato spheres.  Now we're talkin awesome.  Plus I got Roast Beef for Roast Beef Sandwich for lunch today.  Plus some potato spheres.  Well that's one paragraph wasted.  Maybe the rest will all be worthwhile.
    Cool!  Also XXX seems like its always being abused.  There's no Responsible XXX drinkers in cartoons.  Always XXXcoholics, and if its not explicitly shown, its the insinuation.  These people need help is the point, right?  Anyway.  Getting another Drug Store Delivery today, which was the one I got a day or two ago, whichever was the time when I insisted Delivery Man had an extra tip coming his way Next Time.  Now is Next Time.  My dad was like add on 5 dollars to the credit card charge.  And I was like an extra 5 dollars to what.  And he was like no just 5 dollars.  And I was like that's 2 tips?  And he was like yup.  And I was like I went through all that promising Great Dividends when it was ~$2.50?  and he was like yup.  Also 90% of that conversation Only Went On In My Head.  He said give a 5 dollar tip.  And I was like ok even with last time?  And he said yes.  And the rest of our conversation I just sort of extrapolated and padded out because I like Conversations.
    Anyway, today is Juneteenth.  No, I dunno what happened to the, Nine," either.  Also, Microsoft FrontPage doesn't recognize Juneteenth as a word?  I DEMAND A COMMERCIAL APOLOGIZING AND SAYNIG THEY WILL TRY TO DO BETTER AND LISTEN MORE!  Is Is there some inherent irony in the phrase We Will Do More To Listen in an advertisement?  Not to mention an advertisement for a product and/or service where race is presumably not a driving factor.  (I get that in Business in general race is always a factor.  So these big companies need to address racial equality in administration, etc.)  But if Bob's Discount Furniture is like to make better, more inclusive sofas, We Will Listen More.  Exactly what are you listening to and how does it impact My Sofa?  But, yeah, by all means, hire more African Americans to your board rooms and then actually listen to them more!  Sounds good to me, not sure what the point of Advertising Your Product with it, though. 
    Well, sure I do.
  You've calculated by doing this you will increase revenue and/or profit either in the short term and/or brand loyalty in the long term etc.  Well done!  Best of luck.  I dunno about this Discount Furniture stuff, what do we really know about this BOB character.  Anyway Juneteenth is the day that Slaves in Texas found out Union Won War And They Are Free?  That's my interpretation.  Better LTURQ just to double check.  YepYep that seems to check out.  Anyway presumably that's the exact last time we have all-out slaves in America, right?  That's why it's a Momentous Occasion.
    How do we celebrate Juneteenth?  Is it just listening to lectures about how its important or do we get together and try to have soem fun?  I dunno.  Lets have some Good Multiracial Fun Juneteenth is just as much a Win for white folks as black folks.  HEY AFTER THIS DAY WE DIDN'T HAVE ALL OUT SLAVES ANYMORE.  WHEW THAT'S A LOAD OFF MY BACK!  It's true!  Imagine if we still had all-out slaves.  None of us would be on board with that.  Especially the Alternate Universe Southern Plantations that still exist and now they hav advertisements saying We will try to have more inclusive slavery and try to listen better.  Right?  That's the other part about celebrating Juneteenth is oh right much progress to be made.  We can't just count our blessingings and rest our laurels or whatever.  THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE!



Needs Improvement

    So, so, in other words!  Anyway remember for next year June NINETEENTH.  This year you get a pass for not knowing about this holiday but you don't wanna be left behind for next year!  This should be easy to remember JuneTeenth its got some character in it as a name.  And just remember IS THERE A NUMBER IN THEY'RE AS GERMANS WOULD SAY NEIN REMEMBER JUNE NINETEENTH FOR JUNETEENTH.  I can't wait for next Juneteenth we're all gonna be prepared for that one.  I dunno if I'm being serious or not.  I've lost the ability to determine how serious I am or am not being.  I'm serious that We Should Celebrate It.  And that we Should Remember it For Next Year.  But I'm not serious in terms of whatever I dunno.  The point is do we make it 1/2 happy celebration or just 1/1 solemn.  Or do we use it as a time to get together and celebrate.  A real Observe & Chill Holiday, that'd be my suggestion.  I get people have been celebrating this for a long time.  But most of us haven't, and we wanna know how it's supposed to go exactly.
    Why would it be 1/1 solemn it celebrates A Good Day!
  I guess, I dunno, I would LMLTURQ but... hey I actually can do that.  Lets see what internet thinks on this topic.  Yeah its definitely a Celebration Day.  In fact that's where Led Zeppelin got their song idea.  We can celebrate it as Allies, right?  We don't need to bring it down with being like well of course, slavery, kinda a downer.  Lets talk about this because I've got a lot of ill will towards slavery myself... No we just eat cotton candy and stuff, right?  That's how we celebrate other holidays, rig... hmm cotton that's got some bad associations with slavery.  So the point is we eat Cotton CANDY to celebrate our RELIEF from the brutal... slaves picking cotton... the point is now Cotton Candy is OUR thing.
    Do African Americans even want us to celebrate this?  That's something that I really should LURQ.  I mean, there's a lot of Jewish holidays that I'm not asking everyone else to follow.  To be honest it'd be weird if you did!  Are they pro-it being a universal holiday, relatively anti-it, or totally indifferent.  WE NEED GUIDANCE WHERE IS A STRONG BLACK LEADER TO TELL US WHAT TO DO.  IN REGARDS TO CELEBRATION DAYS.  Anyway I've had 2 cups of coffee today already, based on Coffee My Mom Had Made.  Now I'm making my own coffee.  And I have a bunch of coffee to drink over the next several hours.  Alright another half a paragraph just devoted to Food and Drink Consumption now that's done with presumably until another paragraph later on.  My instinct is We should follow it.  Because its as much a blessing for us.  The day we no longer had all-out slaves.  That's worth celebrating for white folks, right?  Its not just celebrating their freedom.  Its celebrating our freedom from being all-out slave-owners!  Alright!
    Then again to be honest I don't really celebrate any holiday so I couldn't give a fig.  I just think its good if Society In General celebrated it.  Personally?  There's a dozen days a year I'm totally on board with but I'm not gonna actually do anything or even think about it during those days.  But then again New Holidays, you think about those.  Its only 100 years from now that we get bored of thinking about it and the point of the celebration has already been absorbed by society presumably.  Something along those lines.  Just remember, Juneteenth, last teenth of June.  Not 13-18, the last Teenth it could possibly be.  Just remember I look forward all June Teens To JuneTeenth.  Easy.  Easy!
    Anyway looks like Juneteenth wasn't the actual last of slavery in America-- didn't 100% end until later that year [the ratification of thirteenth amendment].  But I think that's the gist of why it's celebrated.  It's not just Texas-centric which was an assumption I was sort of? operating under.  That it was a regional celebration that went countrywide.  Which may be true.  But it also became just a Universal Day To Celebrate The End Of Slavery in America, not just to celebrate Texas Freedom.  Which is another assumption I'm operating under.  Why bother researching, my assumptions have a great 50-66.7% track record of being accurate!  Also the thirteenth amendment is one of three consecutive Good Amendments about race.  I think, lemme lturq.  Amendment 13-- No Slaves.  Amendment 14-- ~all people have equal rights as citizens? (that's The Gist I Get).  Amendment 15-- Edification of Rights of Citizens to vote?  The point is Sorry ladies gotta wait another 50 or so years!  Good things come to them who wait. 



See Me After Class

    I'll be there!  Anyway Lunch Has Commenced.  At what point can we go back to Coronavirus Pandemic mode.  I feel like we don't need to stop caring about Police Reform and Racial Justice.  It's not 1 or the other.  I want to devote 35% of my time to worrying about Coronavirus, 40% of the time to Police Reform/Racial Justice, and 25% of the time to hey accordin to Celebration Days as far as we know Women can't vote yet.  Seems like a big oversight.  Lets address that!  Anyway Trump threatening Police Violence against protesters at his rally?  You know what that means TIME TO PROTEST AT HIS RALLY.  I'm not trying to incite violence, I'm just saying that's The only Logical Thing To Do.  Also I'm not trying to incite violence Because TRUMP ALREADY JUST DID THAT.  That's pretty much a literal definition of inciting violence.  Threatening Peaceful protesters with violence (State Dictated/Performed Violence at that!).  So hopefully you peaceful protest safely, but hey, what can ya do.  No real alternative.
I'd be there but there's a host of reasons why I Won't Be There.  Anyay having Soda for the firs time in ~3 days.  Anyway I'm for universal celebration of Juneteenth but can we admit Kwanzaa Was Kind Of A Bust.  First of all, what Christians, even if they are black, are gonna be like Lets Dump Christmas for Kwanzaa!  I guess you can do both.  But why.  That's my hot take based on very little.  You learn about Kwanzaa in elemebtry school, or at least I did, and I still dunno why.  I mean I guess in theory more celebrations for African Heritage makes sense, but not too much sense, based on my impression of how widely celebrated it is among African Americans!  LMLTURQ.  Between 1 and 5 percent of African Americans celebrate Kwanzaa.  Sounds Like A BUST to me.  Also great celebrate your African Heritage.  I'd do it!  But, apparently, just not Kwanzaa.  That's all I'm saying!
    Basically there's probably as much people celebrating Festivus as Kwanzaa.  As always each Festivus we recognize those Festivus Followers We've Lost In The Past Year...  Founder of Festivus, right?  Oh that's not for another 6 months.  I am NOT SURE why Microsoft FrontPage recognizes Festivus as a word.  And frankly I'm SLIGHTLY CONCERNED.  The only explanation that I choose to accept is I Added It At Some Point, I Dunno Why.  But if there's another reason I'm NOT on board with it.  Microft FrontPage is part of the worldwide Festivus Conspiracy.  Anyway, Christians can easily go Jews will not replace us to this one.  Jewish Nonsense replacing Christian... lets face it Nonsense.
The good news is Looks Like I'm Being Disenfranchised.  Kinda had it coming after that crack about Women Un-franchisement.  NY Primary Ballots said you had up to a certain day to request absentee ballots, I did it 2 or 3 days before that final day, and it looks like I won't be recieving my ballot in time.  And this is happening to other people, too.  There was totally an article about it and/or discussion on twitter!  So great get used to this feeling of semi-shock and helplessness.  Shock is the wrong word.  I could have seen it coming.  But then it actually does happen and you're like wait a second I thought male white privilege, I'd be able to vote with that, right?  Turns out Nope Dis-enfranched just like a lot of you are used to.  And helplessness because well what can ya do. 
    I dunno.  Tell my website about it.
  And once you get into a debate of whether it was Intentional Or Not its already over you've lost the battle.  Lets not have that discussion in November.  Well was it incompetence or malevolence that there was huge widespread voter suppression that affected the outcomes of all these elections.  Let's do EVERYTHING over the next 4 months we can to guarantee a 100% Real Great election day.  In terms of Oh Right People Get To Vote For Their Leaders.  And Each Vote Counts.  Each Vote Gets Counted.  For each vote to count each vote must be counted!  Slogan sounds about right!
I dunno.  Any good Juneteenth songs?  If not its about time we get some good Juneteenth songs.  Its been a while since we've had an opportunity to Make New Seminal Holiday Songs now's our big shot.  Well this was another fun entry.  It'd be nice to be able to participate in elections because I was under the impression I lived in a Democracy but what can ya do.  I'm only right based on assumptions 50-66.7% of the time, I told you that!  Man this guy is passive aggressive over having his right to vote being denied.  And there's a good chance it was just due to incompetence and not malevolence!  So in the end Its Okay If Its Just Incompetence DUH NOT A BIG DEAL.  Right?  Sounds about right.  I'll see ya later.

-3:02 P.M.

PS-- didn't mean to bring up Festivus to sort of associate it with Juneteenth.  Juneteenth is and shuold be a eal holiday!  As real as other holidays!  Kwanzaa though is a scam.*

*kwanzaa is okay



Thursday, June 18, 2020

That's Too Crazy?

    Sometimes.  Anyway, hello friends and enemies.  Guess who just left the vicinity of his house for the first time in A Season (March 20th-June 18th?  SOUNDS A LOT LIKE A SEASON [presumably spring] TO ME!).  Went to get some blood work done at Hospital.  First time wearing a mask!  I really loved it.  I could be making all sorts of funny faces while interacting with people and they're none the wiser!  Can't employ my eyes, or eyebrows.  But in terms of using Mouth, facial muscles, and perhaps even Tongue-- I could be Going Crazy under this mask, living my best life, and no one gives a fig cause they don't even know.
Right?  Gonna GET a fig.  Fig Newtons!  I remembered to add them to the Cart of Tomorrow's Supermarket Delivery like a pro!  Anyway pretty eerie goin' down city streets with about 1/3rd the normal population of cars/people.  But I Stand In Solidarity with all the other pedestrians out there We Are All One in the face of Pandemic (Both Coronavirus Pandemic and Police Killing and Beating The Shit Out Of People Pandemic).  Hmm seems like that's been going on a long time.  IF ONLY WE HAD BANNED CHOKE HOLDS EARLIER UNLESS THE COP SAYS I DECIDED I FEEL JUSTIFIED TO USE CHOKE HOLDS IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION!  Then we'd be facing no problems!  Hey I saw there's some Virtual Rally this weekend!  I forget what it wa about but it was something that I was on board with!  I'ma look into that up right now quick right quick-- well I can't find it But I'll Find It On Twitter Next Time I'm On Twitter and THEN we'll see what's what.
Yeah!  If Kneeling at Sporting Event means you're being Anti-American Flag, does that mean the reason police beat the shit out of people is because they're Very Pro-American Flag.  You thugs are all alike disrespecting my favorite thing THE FLAG.  Oh boy now you're asking for it!  That's my theory.  They bought into the narrative African American Protesters Hate The Flag and if only we could diffuse them of that hate by pointing out African Americans are relatively indifferent to the flag (as per my understanding) them police will be cured of their murderous and needlessly violent tendencies.  For people who like the flag so much they seem to like this other flag a lot more.  This other, more confederate flag lets say.  Also, maybe Sports Kneelers should start protesting the Confederate Flag.  That seems like a good compromise.  You get to keep saying they're protesting A Flag and they get to be like Fine if I have to protest a flag at least let me protest confederate flags! and police are like nope still gonna beat the shit out of you for that.  We just can't win.
    Police are good people, though.  They only use violence when they really, absolutely, 100%, decide they feel like they wanna use it.  I dunno lets move on and crap.  Anyway, as part of Getting Blood Work done, they also took my weight.  Hey guess who gained 8-10 pounds over the last 3 months!  That's not so bad!  It's not good.  But it's not that bad, either!  Hey the amount of times the police are called by anyone and end up purposely killing an innocent black person ONLY AMOUNTS TO .025% OF THE TIME QUIT COMPLAINING.  That's a lotta racist death.  Also what the Hell is going on with all the lynchings!  Suicide by lynch.  I know when I commit suicide, I'm gonna go do it in a Gas Shower.  I feel like The Nazis had the right idea when it comes to systematically murdering my people, I'm gonna follow their lead!  Now imagine that being said by, what, 6-12 people over the last few weeks or months, was it.  Now imagine NO ONE GIVING A FUCK.
Uh-oh.  You heard it here first-- GIVE A FUCK YOU FUCKS THERE'S MULTIPLE GROUPS OF LYNCHERS OUT THERE RIGHT NOW! ...OR ONE GROUP OF VERY BUSY LYNCHERS!  Anyway got lunch ready to come out of the oven in fi... wait a second that's another way to kill Jews.  Somethin' with ovens.  I don't have all the details.  Anyway.  Why did you need to imagine Jews before giving a fuck.  I DIDN'T I JUST IMAGINED IT AFTERWARDS TO CARE EVEN MORE.  And now YOU could care even more.  You cared before.  Now you read this and are like oh yeah I still care about this now!  Maybe more, maybe less, I dunno, its close, I already cared a lot!  The point is now lets trick Authorities into caring so they will look int--- wait it could easily have been police who did the killing.  WELL I'M OUTTA HERE!



That Makes Sense!

    WELL I'M BACK HERE ONLY 10 MINUTES AFTER LAST SENTENCE.  Swell.  Got lunch going on.  We're talkin' 2 Philly Cheese Steak Lean Pockets.  Anyway, when I got home, I was in Jon Wurster Mode, with my Mom being Tom Scharpling.  Inadvertently!  She was like were you near any people.  And I was like Define Near.  And she was like did you come into contact with anybody.  And I was like define Contact.  So the point is I'm not 100% there mentally but such is life.  And my instinct was to Keep Saying That for some reason but I consciously decided to stop because I felt crazy.  I feel like Wurster is a funny name.  You're not just The Worst.  EVEN WORST-ER THEN THE WORST.  nailed it.  I've always felt if I could pick my Fantasy Person/People to guide me on Different Pop Cultures To Broaden My Horizons, it'd be Best Show people.  Mainly in music, and also obviously comedy, but in all arenas of Public Entertainment!  We're talkin' Movies, Books, ENLIGHTENED THINKERS, other radio shows and podcasts... that's about it.
Cool!  That is a legit fantasy I have.  Being exposed to Art I Should Be Exposed To Sooner Or Later.    That's the kinda thing you need other people to guide you.  I can't do it based on iTunes PLAYLISTS.  That's run by and for THE MAN.  I need trusted indie bastions to give me the real deal.  The point is for some reason the pastry part of these Lean Pockets tasted better than I remember Hot/Lean Pockets' Pastries tasting in at least a few years.  Maybe I just put it in the oven at exactly the right amount of time, then let it cool for exactly the right amount of time.  For future reference-- was in oven about 38-40 minutes, was cooling abuot 4-6 minutes.  Gotta remember that if not me who if not when how.
    Hey you wanna be turned onto some comics.
  I dunno you tell me You're The BASTIONS!  I guess.  Not a lot of options for dinner tonight.  We're talking maybe that Chili I Refuse To Eat For Some Reason, Maybe Some Turkey I Like But NEVER FULFILLS ME, maybe some sliced chicken that we have?  Like in the form of sliced turkey but its chicken somehow?  It was given as a replacement for something else, nobody asked for this.  I had it and it was weird.  But someone's gotta finish it and If Not me How?  We're talkin a third option.  How about a bagel with cream cheese.  I gotta check if there's bagels enough.  Yep there's bagels enough.  Fascinating.  Nice consistency of Lean Pocket Pastry, hopefully a nice consistency to the bagel... now we're talkin healthy Carbo-loading.  You know what this section of entry could use?  Me drinking some Orange Juice.
Anyway got 1 chore left for the rest of the day.  Supposedly we're expecting a delivery any time between 30 minutes ago and 5:00 P.M.  The main component is I Have To Continue Wearing Pants.  For the foreseeable future!  Well, not the ENTIRE foreseeable future.  Also, isn't all the future foreseeable?  I mean I may not be around for it, but I can certainly foresee a future where 2 billion years from now the SuperSystem we live in is still around with the sun growing or contracting, whichever one it decides it feels like.  And we may be enveloped into the sun at that point but even after that I can foresee another 2 billion years where the sun itself gets sucked into a greater, much larger sun.  That's my Hot Take on future of Universe.  We get one SUPER SUN-- we're talking more super than anyone has ever imagined-- and that sun for some reason is permanent, never goes away.  We're talkin, this universe has been around for like 12, 13 billion years right now?  This ultra-sun is gonna be around for 13 TRILLION years, with the huge majority of that being Just This Sun.  Then, I dunno, it gets bored and offs itself.  Also at some point the Sun achieved consciousness.  And the means to off itself presumably.  And low self esteem.  Or guilt.  I dunno why stars commit suicide!
    Universe is 13.7 billion years.
  That's not so much when you really think about it.  Still got its whole life ahead of it!  Of which I can forsee, I dunno, practically 90% of?  Once the universe contracts on itself and Nothing Exists Anymore, is there a higher power that is then gonna be like Well THAT was weird.  You go from Nothing to Something back to Nothing you're gonna be like Hmm, ya know, its hard for people to comprehend Nothing.. it's hard for Me/Us To Comprehend SOMETHING now that its gone.  I already forget what the point of it was lol.  The point is when does Science say the universe will go away.  Universe Stops Expanding between 100 billion and 1 trillion years.  That's Part I.  When does it go away?  I dunno no consensus.  No consensus that it even stops expanding.  The First Thing I read was faulty!  Turns out Nobody Know Nothin'.


Oh, NOW I Get It.

    Sure.  Hey I got that package.  Fascinating.  I'm not 100% on board with Dark Energy or Dark Matter.  So basically you're saying you don't know.  For all your high fallutin, you still are just like well a huge part of this equation I DUNNO ITS SOMETHIN HAVEN'T QUITE CRACKED IT YET GET BACK TO US IN A FEW DECADES.  Can't we train AI to figure out theoretical physics for us?  If computers are gonna be Smarter Than Us at least lets leech of its intuition!  Get Computers to do all our thinking for us Why Bother The AI Will Take Care Of Everything.  Sure they'll always act in our best interest Just Program Them That Way EASY, EASY.  I dunno.  First time I wore non-Pajama pants for the first time in at least a few weeks.  Fascinating! 
    Wasn't it a thing when Michael Bloomberg was mayor, he was like And I'm only gonna take 1 Dollar in Salary per year!  Well, if he started that job AT THE SAME TIME AS THE BIG BANG, he still wouldn't have as much money now as he has in this... universe... where He WASN'T earning money from Day One of the Universe... as far as we know... I dunno Dark Matter sounds kinda GEORGE SOROS FUNDED if you get my gist.  The universe is a Jew conspiracy is the point.  That's the impression I'm under.  Dark Matter will not replace us!  I dunno, it may, it may not, I have no clue!  Seems possible!  Also here's a theoretical question for theoretical economists-- How Much Is The Universe Worth?
If you think capitalism is your philosophy, Put Up Or Shut Up!  HOW MUCH IS THE WHOLE ENCHILADA LETS GET SOME NUMBERS OUT THERE.  well that all depends are there multiple universes?  in which case SURE one universe may be worth more than another universe, that'd be my instinct.  And once we're in that scenario we can start assigning worth to individual universes.  Makes sense to me.  In that case how much is the multi-verse.  I dunno how many multi-verses are there, ya see, there's always another thing to compare value to.  That's capitalism, right?  Comparing Value?  No more Eye-For-An-Eye Economy, now we're assigning theoretical value!  I dunno I'm not an economist that can easily be a mostly false statement.  I don't care!
    Maybe if we don't want Thanos to destroy the universe we should just offer him something of equal value.  That way we get to keep our universe, he goes home no worse for wear, everyone's happy!  Well he'd probably have to make a profit.  He obviously wants the universe, so if we just offer him equal value, he's gonna say no.  We give him some profit, though, he might listen to what we've got to say.  Anyway, there's broad consensus that the universe is flat.  But when you say it about the Earth SUDDENLY YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH.  How about some consistency?  Anyway, I'm glad the universe is flat because I've always been imagining it as 3-D(OR MORE!!).  Flat universe?  That's significantly less hard to imagine.  Alright we got the solar system... in a flat plane.. everything else is more or less flat... wait a second I got confused are you sure about this?  pretty sure it's 3-d or more...
I dunno.  Last paragraph!  Is looking at People On Street Wearing Masks and Not Wearing Masks as simple as okay normal, normal, normal, fox news, normal, fox news, normal, normal...  Which is pretty interesting, and there's surely some correlation between what cable news channel is your fav and if you wear a mask, but is that the Ultimate Correlation?  I Dunno!  My guess is its up there in terms of Correlations But Probably Not The Top!  You'd think Elderly People would be more prone to wearing masks and you'd be wrong.  People are dumb.  Can't even comprehend a 2D universe!  Well if the universe is relatively 2d, makes it easier to comprehend multiverses.  Just one on top of another.  Cracked that code.  I'll see you guys later.

-4:35 P.M.




Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Look At That

    Sounds like a plan to me.  Anyway, I was thinking about it, as one does, and I'm not 100% on the insult Soy Boy.  Are they anti-the lactose intolerant?  Are they like Hmm even if they're not lactose intolerant [OF WHOM I AM VERY JEALOUS BECAUSE THEY CAN BE SOY BOIS AND BLAME IT ON THEIR HEALTH (ALSO W E B. DU SOY BOIS.)] hmm they care about their health or something?  I dunno BUT IT ENRAGES ME.  Also if you're a kid being taunted, being called a soy boy (I assume this is mostly children because an adult upset at soy boys is an adult I don't wish to contemplate existing), here's a good come back, call 'em Milk Men.  You get one group of soy boys, I'm here for you!  CALL EM MILK MEN PROBLEM SOLVED. 
    Yeah I get there's more to Soy than Soy Milk.  It's MY first association and must be Theirs and Yours, too.
  Hmm I just googled Soy and Google is like Is Soy Bad For Males?  Maybe that's' why.  The taunters are just genuinely concerned about soy boy's health!  Well that settles that.  Also why are Taunters more familiar with Health Science than I am.  And also why are they genuinely concerned about their enemies' health I DID NOT SEE THAT PLOT TWIST COMING.  Also if you tell them Soy is airborne maybe they'd start wearing masks.  A virus that will kill me and my family?  YAWN.  CONTAGIOUS SOY?  NOW YOU'VE GOT MY ATTENTION!!  These milk men are all screwed up!  That's right Son I've been drinking soy since you've been suckin' on your mama's teat. Soy Sauce, though?  Not on board with that!  Not one bit!   Maybe one bit! I dunno if I've ever tried it on purpose!  I'm sure it's Leaked Into Meals I've Ate by being adjacent to it in Packaging.  But I've never just soaked some Chicken with Garlic Sauce in some soy.  Seems unhealthy.  It is, we just covered that, Soy No Bueno.
Fascinating.  I've always associated it with soy is a sign of weakness.  Boys who consume Soy?  Not as Strong as Us Milk Men.  Such is life I guess.  There must be some middle ground between Soy Milk and Milk Milk.  LMLTURQ .  Almond Milk and Coconut Milk.  I can see Milk Men having problems with Coconut milk, but Almond Milk?  Whose gonna argue with Almond Milk.  Plus Almonds Are Like Tiny Testicles Themselves so it doesn't get much manlier than drinking Tiny Testicle Milk YOU ABSORB THE TINY TESTICLES TESTOSTERONE.  Coconut Milk?  Sounds good to me!  But that's just One Man's opinion.  Is there a, "This stuff looks like watered down Cum," component to this equation.  Could be!  Anyway.  I've Not Liked a lot of Food & Drink Products in my life, but I've never been like Yeah I don't like this but more importantly I DON'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE WHO DO LIKE THIS!  For example, I don't like ketchup.  Never have, probably never will.  But I don't go around with hatred in my heart for Ketchup Folks.
    Ketchup Kids. 
There's an alliteration, that's good.  But now I specifically hate Child Ketchup Folks.  Sounds about right these Ketchup Kids these days they don't know what it was like for People like US growing up.  Of course that's a logical extension of mocking Soy Boys.  The ketchup kids in turn mock ME for being like OOOHHH THIS GUY ORDERS A FAST FOOD HAMBURGER AND ASKS FOR IT WITHOUT KETCHUP.  MR FANCY FAST FOOD SANDWICH, OOOOH DON'T PUT THIS ON THERE ITS NOT IN LINE WITH MY DELICATE SENSIBILITIES.  The point is we must all mock one another for the absolute stupidest things.  God damn Ketchup Kids.  They all grow up to be Mustard Men.  Which, to be fair, I think is progress.  I still don't like it but it's unequivocally better than Ketchup Kids.
    I dunno.  Already received 2 Deliveries Just Today.  One of them, we had forgotten to add a tip when we ordered it, and luckily he was hanging around by the front door to Hand Off To Me Directly the package, so I was able to be like Yo we forgot the tip we'll add it next time and he was like you guys are always generous its okay and I was like do I detect a hint of disbelief?  If I tell you we're gonna add extra next time I MEAN IT and he's like its okay, its okay and I'm like NO ITS NOT OKAY ITS NOT FUCKING OKAY YOU'RE GETTING A FUCKING TIP OKAY?  NEXT TIME!  And then when he went away my Dad was like Hmm usually we always get the same person delivering it.  This was a new person.  And I was like, BUT, WHA.... FUCK THAT IT'S ALL FUCKED NOW.
True story!  Also I can't say 100% why but I do realize that I must be A Soy Boy.  Based on people who use that phrase online, and the people who tend to be Their Enemies, I'm sure I'm a Soy Boy.  And you know what?  Complicated But Mostly No.  Like 90% inaccurate.  I drink Cream of Milk so, there, dunzo, you've lost the argument.  I do avoid drinking Milk in and of itself-- Regular Or Soy.  BUT if I run out of cream for Home Coffee, my Dad drinks Lactaid Free Milk (which isn't soy but it's NOT THE REAL THING which may be their main objection) so I'll use that as well.  Also I have had Soy Milk in my life I'm sure and I'm very neutral to it.  SO GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT IS THE POINT.
These fuckin' Mustard Men.  Milk Men.  Whatever.  They're jerks!  When I wa a kid, I was never really mocked or insulted or bullied verbally or anything like that.  I guess on account of always either being in Gifted Class and/or Specialized High School.  So these jerks were all my SmartDumb Peers.  The only place I was semi-frequently insulted was Hebrew school.  Which is Ironic because if you Plop Me into a random town in the south or middle America when I was a kid, the main they'd they'd use to insult me is Jew.  That's not what the Hebrew School Kids did, though.  That'd be weird if they made fun of me for being Jewish.  I mean, I guess it could happen.  Say they have a class mate who is Way More On Board with This DumbSmart stuff than they are, I can see that guy being mocked.  But I was probably less on board.  Anyway, oh, the main obvious thing to mock me for is my shortness!  Thats happened here and there I guess.  But it didn't bother me as much as The Shortness Itself bothered me.  I didn't mind the Odd Insult Here And There as much as it bothered me myself, for other reasons!



 Tell Me About It

    About what?  I dunno. Also Milk Men is an insult because it's like way to have a crappy, obsolete job!  Yeah deliver my milk you asshole maybe I'll tip you maybe I'll forget to tip you and maybe I'll make it up next time THERE'S NO GUARANTEES IN LIFE! Jeez, folks are Lactose Intolerant, other folks are Soy Based Intolerant... what would the Original MLK say?  Or Or Milk, the politician and movie.  The point is MLKII is an anagram for I, Milk and I don't think there's been enough attention given to that!  Also man were white people racist.  You see those polls where MLKII had like 30% popular support, something like that, and that's hard to reconcile.  I mean, I know personally, my Jew DumbSmartDumbSmartSmart parents were on board with the Civil Rights Movement.  ...OR DO I.  Maybe we all think that.  And all our parents have been lying to us!  A GOOD AMOUNT OF OUR PARENTS WERE AGAINST MIILK LETS CONFRONT THEM ABOUT IT EXPLICITLY.
    MILKI WAY.  The Milki Way
Was is Mostly Nonviolence and some great oration and inspiration.  That's my impression that I've absorbed somehow.  Grandpa, you weren't discriminating against Soy Bois when you were young, were you?  NO OF COURSE NOT NEE... WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOUR MOTHER?  SHE'S A LYING SACK OF SHI... NO SOY BOIS, WELL, IT  WAS A COMPLICATED TIME.  NO ONE QUITE NEW WHAT TO MAKE OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF MILK AND WHETHER TO MOCK ONE ANOTHER BASED ON THE KIND OF MILK THEY DRINK.  Would people find it wrong if I named my son Martin Luther King Jr.?  My guess is people wouldn't be so much as offended as they would be concerned.  Both for my mental health but mostly is this kid going to be alright?  If you add Malcolm X To MLK II, you get MMMLLLcoka The Twelfth.  And that man will Eliminate Racism very quickly and very easily.    
Haven't had a nice Soup & Sandwich lunch in a while.  Haven't had soup for about a week because I went back to Chicken Noodle and it was gross.  Beef Barley I can tolerate but I've lost faith in Chicken Noodle.  Made some French Toast yesterday.  Mom was the one adding Butter to Griddle and I wasn't on board with how much butter was going into these Frenched Toasts.  Seemed like an absurd amount of butter and I wasn't 100% on board with it but I ate it anyway.  I even had 2 slices left over!  I ate those for breakfast today!  How about that!  I used to not really comprehend just how much Egg goes into French Toast when I was estimating French Toast Calories before I learned how to make it.  Now I'm like Jeez 1/3rd of the calories from French Toast comes from the butter alone At Least The Way My Mom Is Doing It.
Also it's a non-stick griddle.  That's probably important to the story as well.  Fascinating.  The point is Sure My Mom Was A Secret Racist.  Nah I'll give my parents the benefit of the doubt.  Not YOUR PARENTS, though.  THEY probably WERE racist!  What else is going on and crap.  W E B Dubois speaking Spanish.  Yo Soy de Bois.  I translated, "Du," to, "De."  I feel like that's accurate.  I I am of... boys...  Sounds about right.  Hmm, Bois in French means, "Wood."  That's interesting in and of itself.  But also now lets translate that into Spanish.  Madera.  Yo Soy De Mader... wait the whole point of this pun was using, "Bois."  I got distracted and did Extra Unnecessary Translation.  Such is life I guess.  W E B  OF WOOD.  Don't quite get it, maybe I have to read him for context to understand.
I dunno.  What else is going on.  Me & My Bois.  Good name for a bowling team of Big African American Thinkers.  Just watched the Bowling episode of The Simpsons.  Wait a second that's a terrible name for a Bowling Team of Big African American Thinkers.  What has Dubois done to elevate him to being the only one in the title?  I dunno better Survey All Great African American Thinkers, find out for myself.  DAMNIT HE TRICKED ME INTO LEARNING I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS.  Sure I'll wikipedia some W E B Du Bois whose gonna stop me you?  In fact that's YOUR homework, too.  Lets all Wikipedia W E B Du Bois and meet back here tomorrow!



How Do You Do

    I'm sick of these Soy Boys!  I Am Boy.  I KNOW AND IT TEARS ME UP INSIDE!  Anyway, no Lunch right now.  Maybe not ever!  But instead a Nice, Hearty Coffee as well as some nice, hearty orange juice.  I had a real breakfast for the first time in like a week!  Frenched Toast!  We already covered all that!  I looked up Dubois on wikipedia for a solid 45 seconds!  Seems like a cool dude.  First black guy to get a doctorate from Harvard University.  Was pretty short (5'6).  Woke up at 7:15, worked until 5:00, dinner & newspaper until 7:00, socialize and recreational time until 10:00, go to bed.  I'm not lying, there was a whole paragraph devoted to That Daily Schedule on wikipedia ad I AM ON BOARD WITH THAT KIND OF LEARNING. That's the main thing I Do In Life so of course Dubois schedule will interest me!  Also seems like he's got it down pretty well.  Assuming his Work is fulfilling.  That's the key, right?  Fulfilling work, that's a schedule a man can set his watch to!  No Bueno Work?  SUCK ON A SHOTGUN JEEZ.
Hmm.  Fascinating.  I didn't even need to look back at the page to type that up.  I read that schedule one time over 5-10 seconds and it all was imprinted to memory because that's the kind of stuff I think about/care about/remember about.  I dunno, what else is going on and crap.  W EW E B do boys.  No I think you're thinking of James Baldwin.  James Baldwin.  No I think you're thinking of... some bald guy?  Who wins?  You know that guy I'm thinking of... what's his name...  What a crappy paragraph.  Such is life!  I may or may not need to venture outside this Thursday or Friday to get blood work done.  I'd estimate it at roughly 50% shot whether I need to or not.  Fascinating.  I don't think I've Gone Somewhere in 3 months?  I feel like Last Time I Did Blood Work was March 20th.  Which is 3 months.  Accurate.
  You just spray that in the enclosed area Corona:The Virus has been released and BOOM smells fresher!  Smell is directly correlated to... Health Properties of... gaseous chemicals... the point is I'm sure it'll help.  Couldn't hurt, right?  That'd be my guess!  Also first time I've Almost Said The Word Coronavirus here in like a month?  Seems like a pretty big oversight.  The World Must Be Reminded!  Anyway Politics Polls hav been looking pretty good the last couple of weeks!  And with No Sports Particularly Baseball, lets get on board with following politics like sports!  Every day there's new polls and every day there's new Sports Scores to be happy or upset over!  Plus in the end IT FUCKIN' REALLY MATTERS OMG WHAT A GREAT SPORT.
Also its not just a spectator sport, get some skin in the game yourself!  No one's stopping you!  It's Fun!  Sports sports sports.  What else is going on and crap.  Politics shouldn't be sports it should be about HELPING PEOPLE.  yeah but no one really seems interested in that.  Lets just settle for it being entertainment.  But also, realize, its not entertaining if My Side Loses.  In fact, its profoundly upsetting!  So that's part of the equation as well.  I dunno.  Anyway, one interpretation of Politics kind of is Sports by definition.  Governance is presumably Helping People.  And THAT no one seems interested in.  I mean, they want to help themselves.  And people like themselves.  And people who gave them money so they could achieve the power of governance.  But in terms of helping People... I'm not gonna hold my breath.
    Last paragraph!  Figure I'll have that Soup & Sandwich as a dinner.  I figure lots of things!  What else do I got for the rest of the day.  No chores at all!  Any good Horror Movies queued up.  I dunno.  I don't have any soda left!  I don't have any coffee left unless I make more!  Or Drink The Coffee Left Over In The Pot!  That sounds awfully like, "Having Coffee Left," to me.  Yeah you'd think so!  And I do!  Glad we're all on the same page.  Ugh.  I once used the word encyclopedia in a song first written in 2006, and then later amended it to wikipedia years later.  I don't think I was aware of Wikipedia even 1 bit in 2006.  By 2008 I knew what it was.  Those in-between years, I dunno, at some point wikipedia garnered my attention.  Also, youtube.  That has a similarly interesting story in terms of at one point I did not know of this, then I was aware of it, and then some time later I started using it regularly.  You can read all about it in My New Tell All Book being released a year from now.  I'll see you guys later.

4:27 P.M.!



Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Have You Heard The Good News

    Guess whose got several thumbs and shaved himself Like A MAN.  This guy!  That's right I'm Shaving Myself Every 10 Or So Days!  I was talkin' about how we are all going Mad from lack of haircuts, but ignoring the obvious that I personally am always Mad, it turns out, on account of not shaving often enough.  Hmm I was wondering what the cause of my madness was.  Also for years I would never shave.  Just wait til I get a haircut and Make them do it.  They gotta do it its in their Hammurabis Code!  How come no one worships Hammurabi anymore.  Or, at least, follows his code?  Doesn't seem right this was one of the great Coders of the ancient world and where has that gotten him these days NO WHERE that's where.
    Based on my instinct, Hammurabi's code is where EYe for an eye comes from.  So everyone knows his code, if not really being on board with it in our relatively Enlightened Era.  But we're familiar with the code is the point, so that's not so bad for Hammurabi.  Man, for it to be remembered thousands of years later, at the time, people must have been PSYCHED about this code.  HOLY SHIT HAVE YOU HEARD HAMMURABI'S CODE?  CHECK IT SOMEONE TAKES OUT YOUR EYE YOU TAKE OUT HIS EYE SIMPLE RIGHT?  MAKES SENSE?  OH MAN NOW I UNDERSTAND PROTO-JUSTICE SYSTEMS AND PROTO-LAW.  BUT OF COURSE IN THIS DIALOGUE (OR SHOULD I SAY MONOLOGUE, YOU AIN'T SAYIN' SHIT!) IT'S JUST JUSTICE SYSTEMS AND LAW.  NO ONE THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE IS QUOTING THIS CONVERSATION AS FAR AS WE KNOW.
    Anyway, right.  How come no one uses Anti-Hammurabi's Code.  In the realm of Positively and Generosity.  Hey someone gives you a gift of some guy's eye ball now you gotta give HIM one ugh.  Luckily you just came into the ownership of some eye ball.  Whew that covers that give him that eye ball back.  That's dumb.  You gotta give him something of equal value, just to keep things going.  Is that part of Hammurabi's code.  Did he only 100% liliterally mean eye for an eye.  Or can it be like yeah this dude taking your eye is about equivalent to, I dunno, he has to give you HIS HAND.  That doesn't sound fair.  A hand is worth so much more than an eye (assuming you've got the other eye).  Sure your depth perception will suffer but think of all you can do with two hands!  That you wouldn't be able to do with one hand!  So, so much.
  Someone takes your eye, you give him, what, six years in prison.  That seems fair.  You don't get any thing tangible other than the satisfaction that this guy's life will suffer.  And also, remember, his life expectancy can't be more than 45, 50 years old.  Six years?  Presumably as an adult (no KIDS go around poking out people's eyes, right?  That's a GROWN MAN crime).  That's gonna burn!  Anyway, why was eye for an eye the actual default they used when they made the code.  My guess is eye for an eye is a direct translation of how they summed up the law, and not a situation made up later.  There must have been a rash of people poking each other's eyes out.  Why else would that be the first thing that comes to mind?  Man people in Ancient Mesopotamia were weird.
PROFESSIONAL MAJOR IN HISTORY EDUCATION FOR 2.5 YEARS TALKIN' C'MON GET ON BOARD WITH THIS STUFF.  I was thinking about MAGA hats and I was like how is that On Brand for Trump.  Before turning Faux-Populist and that taking over some of his personality, he was all like ONLY THE CLASSIEST OR ME.  TRUMP IS CLASSY.  I AM A CLASSY PERSON AND TRUMP BRAND PRODUCTS ARE CLASSY.  And a MAGA hat is a cheap ass Red Baseball Cap.  It's not fancy or classy at all!  Hmm really makes ya think.  I've never owned a MAGA hat, or seen one up close in person, but I'd feel comfortable betting it's as fuckin' cheap as possible fabric and is itchy and doesn't fit very well.  Also, I think Trump Supporters are going crazy talking about on Twitter at least LOL FUCK YEA I'M NOT GONNA WEAR A MASK AT TRUMP'S BIG INDOOR RALLIES SORRY LIBERALS, TRIGGERED?  I GOTCHA!  Dude.  We don't give a shit about your health, possibly even care less about it than you do!  Go For It!  If that's your thing, I'm totally on board!
    Look I don't want people to die, even dumb people, but I dunno, there's some poetic justice to that.  And in the end isn't Hammurabi's Code the first edification of Poetic Justice.  Well, it's one of the first  edifications of Justice.  That's why it's famous, right?  As far as my memory goes this is accurate.  Poetic justice?  Sure we can write poems about it no one's stopping us.  Oh, also, its important its at a Trump Rally.  Because other times, yea you fuckin' tool don't spread Coronavirus to innocent bystanders.  But a big room of thousands of Trump Supporters?  Ugh go crazy you fuckin' morons!




You've Got It!

    I've been experimenting with Shaving Cream & Electric Razors.  So far, so good!  Sure I could have ruined the mechanisms within the Electric Razor  by filling it with shaving cream but we have to be willing to make sacrifices to achieve Facial Hair Success!  I think its possible Trump just gave up on being Classy.  That doesn't seem to be a priority of his these days.  Maybe he thinks it will alienate his supporters.  These guys are slobs they want a slob, too!  And luckily for him its in his nature to be a disgusting slob.  He spent his whole life trying to deny the slob inside him by being classy and now he's letting his Inner-Slob out!  Sounds about right.
What else is going on and crap.  I keep making the same mistake every other day asking my parents At Beginning Of Day hey you guys want a communal dinner tonight?  Usually specifying which one it would be.  Spaghetti, other pasta, French Toast... and then invariably they show some enthusiasm for it, but its hard to gauge.  And then I'm like well I don't wanna have to cook diner I WAS JUST MAKING CONVERSATION!  And the worst part is the semi-enthusiasm.  Easiest thing to do is Not Cook Dinner.  Second easiest thing to do is Cook Dinner. Worst thing to do is I DUNNO IF IM GONNA COOK DINNER TONIGHT OR NOT.  So much stress!  Will I or won't I.  When do I eat lunch.  Can I look forward to a No-Chore-The-Rest-Of The Day?  Nope!  Can I settle into a Yes-Chore-For-The-Rest-Of-The-day?  NOPE.  NOBODY KNOW!
    So I got that going for me is the point.  So I got a solid, I dunno, today I'm gonna estimate it around 50-66.7% chance I will indeed be making 50% of French Toast. I Man the Griddle and My Mom soaks them bread in them eggs boy.  The one good thing about French Toast, as compared to other communal dinners, is that it's the only Meal I get these days thats Some Sweet.  If I don't make French Toast, the closest thing to Some Sweet Meal is a Pop Tart, or a piece of cake, for breakfast.  And that ain't no meal get outta here with that bullshit!  Eat a lot of Sweet Snacks.  But a Sweet Meal?  Now we're talkin'!  Very indulgent and classy.  Trump Toast.  That's when he's really outta ideas 10 years from now.
    By which By which I either mean he's creating his own brand of Bread, or, he's not on board with French people again for some reason in a decade, and goes on Fox News trying to promote the idea of calling it Trump Toast.  You'd think No One Would Ever pitch their own name, but he would.  All he has to say is ya know some people, they don't wanna say French, some people are calling it Trump Toast, I think, that's what some people are doing!  That's a little too cogent for where Trump's mind would be in a decade.  It's a little too cogent for where Trump's mind is right now!  Fascinating. 
    I think it's possible Trump has NEVER READ ANYTHING.  Because I've seen, myself, a dozen times in an interview he was asked about something and he claims he's read it but its obvious he hasn't.  And there's surely dozens and dozens of more cases where he's on camera claiming familiarity with something he has none with.  And I can't think of ONE TIME I've seen someone ask him about reading something and he LIGHTS UP and is like HOLY SHIT THIS TIME I ACTUALLY-- I GOT SOME THING TO SAY!!!  Because based on his track record, if that did happen, we'd sense it, right?  He'd be AMPED!  So the point is there's a possibility, I'm not saying its probable, but there's a POSSIBILITY he's never read anything in his life.
I'm pretty sure his attitude about reading is well if I didn't say it, how is it worth reading.  Which I can understand I'm about 70% there on that premise myself.  Well, alright, I was just joking.  I'm about 25% there on that premise.  Which is accurate and is still a very lot and I'm not proud of it but I am proud of the fact that I'm self aware enough to admit it!  I mean, its way less than 50%, but, c'mon, for such a statement, 25% is more than you should be!  Anyway, probably gonna have half a can of chili with some tortilla chips for lunch in a bit.  I'll see ya then!




Keep It Down

    If you're wondering what's different with Mike today, its that I was wearing the same pair of 1 day Contact Lenses for the last 3 days (Taking 'em off for Sleep, puttin' 'em back on for Awake!) and today I am just wearing glasses (or not wearing glasses!  Nothing at all!)  Sounds about right.  Right now, no glasses, chair is at Lowest Possible Setting.  Now that we covered the important stuff hey looking 50-66.7% forward to listening to Adam Schlesinger's tribute album!  Well, it's not HIS.  It's a tribute to him.  You could make an argument it belongs to him in some spiritual, ephemeral way, but in terms of Legality he has no claim to it.  Maybe his estate does!  I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the reasons of putting it out there!  Helpin' out his family or something!  Fountains of Wayne's Estate! Hmm. A record for a record, that's the way Hammurabi would have wanted it.
    Hammurabi loved him some Power Pop.
  Not the music, that's just how he chose to describe himself.  Ugh.  I guess I'll never be able to ask Adam Schlesinger Thoughts on Batman association with your band name?  I'll have to settle for asking someone familiar with his thinking.  The drummer, or something.  Hey (LMLTURQ...)  HEY BRIAN YOUNG-- WHAT WERE SCHLESINGER'S THOUGHTS ON POSSIBLE BATMAN CONNECTION TO BAND NAME?  Why wouldn't I just ask Brian Young his thoughts.  Fine I wanna know his thoughts, too.  I wanna know everyone's thoughts on this.  Hey Brian Young has been drumming for The Jesus & Mary Chain the last eight years.  I know of that band!  Hey Brian Young-- ever make a Biblical connection with that band name?  The names Jesus and Mary both show up in one of the bibles.  I can't be the first person who made that connection!
    Ugh.  Makes ME laugh.  The Jesus & Mary Connection.  That's how I choose to interpret chain.  Its a connection between 'em.  Lots of other meanings to, "Chain," but I've been 100% unconsciously pot committed to it meaning, "Connection," in my head.  I dunno, figure I'll make myself that half can of chili soon.  Or just make myself a hot pocket or something.  Save that chili for a later date.  That's been what I've been doing for the last 2 months, might as well continue that track record of Putting Off Chili.  Maybe its about Wayne's World, I dunno.  I don't have all the answers!  I've got somewhere between 25% and 80% of the answers.  That's MY hot take!
    Is it weird that Jesus was into a lady who had the same name as his Mom.  ALLEGEDLY.  Maybe everyone was just named Mary in those days, I dunno.  WTF I've never heard of any Middle Eastern Lady named MARY, especially not 2000 years ago.  Now suddenly there's 2 of them?  Sounds like a scam to me.  To be fair, I've never heard of any Middle Eastern Man named Jesus.  Lots of Hispanic/Latinx people names Jesus.  Never met NOR HEARD OF a Middle Eastern Jesus.  Muslim, or otherwise.  Definitely never heard of a Hammurabi's Code Follower Jesus.  He was part of Babylon.  Not a lot of Those left.  What if Jesus' code was An Eye For An Eye and his job was to Beat People Up.  Ya know, like cops.  His main role was to engage those committing domestic violence and show THEM a thing or two.
    Part of that makes sense to me.  Most of it doesn't.  Thems the breaks!  There's Muslim people named Muhammad.  If that's okay How Is Jesus Not Okay.  Doesn't add up!  Looks like this'll be the last paragraph of the entry.  Another fun filled Early Afternoon into Bordering On Mid Afternoon.  I dunno about Almost, this is solidly mid-afternoon.  3:21.  Doesn't get much Midder Afternoon than that.  Right, right.  Anyway, put a single Lean Pocket in the oven.  That'll be ready in around forty minutes.  You know, at around roughly 4:01 PM?  Well at this point it's 4:02 P.M. Lets Talk About It.
Alright final paragraph!  Finished my surplus of soda this morning.  Next supermarket delivery isn't for another 3 days!  Lots of orange juice in the fridge but that's a lot of sugar to be drinking all day.  Better stick to Water!  Jesus's feet stuck to water.  My guess is he was using some sort of velcro/hover-board-esque... Shoe Technology... that he got from... somewhere... I dunno.  Maybe he made it himself, I don't have all the answers, I already told you that.  I'll see you guys tomorrow.

-3:25 P.M.




Monday, June 15, 2020

Hey, I Know This Website!

    Sure do!  Anyway here's my Hot Take on Current Events-- I was sending an e-mail to my Dad recently (Help him with homework!) at his work e-mail (..@cuny.edu) and I misspelled cuny and THATS RIGHT YOU GOT IT @CUNT.EDU  Can you make Freudian Slips in Text.  I figure that's something people'll be analyzing over the next couple of decades.  Kids who grew up with smart phones using Text Messages even more then when I was a kid using AOL Instant Messenger.  So some of the BrainWork that goes into Talking, maybe its being activated when Texting.  Maybe it always was!  I dunno!  I'm no Scientist, I'm just a guy who calls E-mails Cunts!  Yeah I get that some people don't Talk Out Loud At All, they Sign Things or Text.  Can you make a Freudian Sign?  I think Sign Language is pretty Freudian in and of itself.  Like that Sign for Jerking off.  Looks JUST like jerking off!  Sure that's a real Sign and not just a Slang Sign.  That'd be my guess!
    I was looking at some porn that was explicitly meant to be for Females (I SURVEY ALL PORNOGRAPHIES) and I realized oh this is Exactly what the porn movies that used to be on CiniMax at the turn of the century were.  I always KNEW something was up with those films!  Turns out they were like well men will watch it because its porn, might as well use 90% of our effort to try to appeal to women.  Men are on board no matter what c'mon)  The point is I KNEW SOMETHIN' WAS UP WITH THOSE PORNS I JUST COULDN'T PUT MY FINGER IN IT.  Also, for some reason Scared To Hell of showing Downstairs Pornography.  I guess that's part of the Deal with showing Porn on Premium Channels.  No Downstairs Shots.  Leaves ya thinking ya know something is missing in these porns... oh, right.  Downstairs Shots.  Actual penetration.  Also WHO THE HELL DIRECTED THIS SOME LADY?!?!?
Wonderful.  I dunno, maybe it wasn't a censorship thing, but more Ladies like porn WITHOUT penetration and full nudity.  There's a solid chance that's the case, I dunno!  I've always felt there's a huge market for pornography with higher production values and Directed and Cut more with more of a narrative and character development.  And, ya know, not just 1 long continuous shot.  Get in there with different angles During The Same Shot Of Action.  So much fun to be had, c'mon, get in there and try something new!  The point is I made spaghetti last night and have some more spaghetti for lunch today as well as A Single Meatball.  Then for dinner I dunno won't have to cook anything though that's good news all around!
What else is there to talk about.  Alright, covered me typing the word CUNT, that lasted about three paragraphs, what else is going on.  Finally started back into Binging Simpsons.  It's fun because It Makes Ya Laugh, It Makes Ya Think, and It Makes Ya Feel.  Anyway, in addition to several 2 liter bottles of soda I got Last Week, I got a 12 pack of cans of Orange Soda.  And up until now I've been pouring one can into one Glass and it fits perfectly, 12 fl oz, great.  Today?  I'm gonna drink from the can!  Obviously that's Always Preferable but I figured hmm Coronavirus probably loves cans, why not take the extra Step Of Safety and pour it into a glass.  Today?  YEAH I KNOW ALL THAT BUT ITS TIME TO STEP IT UP A BIT TIME TO DRINK SOME SODA FROM A CAN. 
If I die, you know it was for a good cause.  Hey I haven't had alcohol in like six weeks.  Whatta scam.  Anyway, what else is going on.  Shot on Cable News I saw was the black guy carrying the white guy to safety.  Ya know seems every day a black protester is being KILLED BUT OH NO A WHITE MAN FELL DOWN!!!!  Is it a story because a Black Man decided to help him?  Is that news to people?  OH MY GOD YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS, CO-PROTESTERS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER'S BODILY HEALTH.  AND WILL ACT ON THOSE CONCERNS!  WHATTA SCOOP!  Anyway, I'm gonna be honest, when I happen to be downstairs and the bell rings with a delivery, and I answer the door within 10 seconds, and the delivery guy is already gone, I get ANGRY.  WTF IS THIS DING DONG DITCH BULLSHIT GOING ON  YEAH I SEE THE PACKAGE SHOW ME YOUR FACE YOU ASSHOLE.  And yeah I KNOW we BOTH WANT to avoid <6 feet contact I'M STILL INSTINCTUALLY TAKING IT PERSONALLY FOR SOME REASON I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND.
Fascinating.  Maybe women who want to watch porn Now watching CiniMax Porn 2 decades ago and like This New Brand of For Women Porn because of the old porn.  Not only is it correlation WE'RE TALKING CAUSATION NOW.  Hey I Have One Note For Something To Talk ABo-- oh it just says, "Fig Newton."   Nevermind.  Just a suggestion for something to get from Supermarket.  It was inspired from the Simpsons, there's a plot point where they sing what presumably was a Jingle from the 1960's perpetuating the existence and propagandizing of Fig Newtons.  Sure I know its no more healthy than a Better Cookie.  I'm operating under no delusions its in any way better than a Chocolate or Vanilla Based Cookie-- health, taste, or otherwise.  Still FEELS healthier, though.  And sometimes that's enough!



Please Continue The Entry

    I guess I will.  Lunch'll be in store at some point over the next few, I dunno, weeks?  I probably should try to narrow that down a bit.  Fine, the next 90 minutes, does that make you happy?  I guess.  The point is Today's Society would be very susceptible to a REAL Ding Dong Ditcher.  This dude could wreak some REAL havoc.  I dunno about you guys, but all things considered, I'm legit getting on average, ON AVERAGE, 2-3 deliveries a day.  You add in one Ding Dong Ditcher a day, WTF IS GOING ON NOW LOOK WHO NEEDS THE POLICE!!!  Man, now this Ding Dong Ditcher is not just playing pranks but he's igniting a National Conversation on the role of police and/or other groups that can address the scourge of Ding Dong Ditchers.  I bet its The Police Themselves SOUNDS LIKE A SCAM TO ME.  The point is Ding Dong Ditchers MUST be met with force otherwise HOW ELSE DO YOU PUSH HIM AROUND?
Whatever.  They'd have to be very good to never get caught.  I mean, if they're doing it once a day, easy, just spend One Day By Your Front Door.  Then, boom, he shows up, You're A Hero!  Or just get a security camera I dunno I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life.  Also You're No Hero thhis guy is just gonna run away from you regardless, and you got shit options of what to do.  What, you're gonna go to the Police Station and talk to one of those Caricature Artists?  You ain't leaving your house get outta here with this bullshit.  Letting one into your house?  You ain't letting police into your house get outta here with that bullshit.  Even as a White Guy I wouldn't let a Police into my house this month unless I really needed to.  He might correctly assume this guy strikes me as a Liberal guy TIME TO GO TO TOWN ON HIM.  Just not Downtown.  We'd have to cut away.  No Downtowns on CiniMax!   HEY SKINIMAX CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE CAME UP WITH THAT ONE BEFORE!
I would see a Caricature Artist Police, though.  They probably hav VERY little experience beating people up.  It'd be very egregious.  Okay we all agree you're the VICTIM of a crime, we're bringing in a Legit Art School Grad... and then its like a HOSTEL: THE MOVIE situation and he just goes to town on you.  Is he a real caricature artist who just likes abusing bodies, or is the whole thing a scam.  I say he's a real caricature artist.  Otherwise, what would they do if A White Guy They're On Board With is the victim of a crime?  You need a real artist on staff to do that job.  Anyway.  What the Hell is going on again?  I forget.  Oh, right.  Once Quarantine is Over First Thing I'm Doing Is Going To Get My Caricature Taken.
This burglar, did you say he likes giant cones of ice cream?  Does he like driving in bumper cars?  I've never been to a caricaturist-- that's why those references are so terrible-- and for some reason the first 2 images I had of Possible Caricatures were Some guy in a bumper car (? I guess bumper cars and caricature artists live side by side in fairs and whatnot...) and then some guy eating a giant ice cream cone (again, lotta people eating giant ice cream between the Bumper Cars and The Caricature Portrait). 
    Outstanding!  Probably have lunch ~start of next section of entry.  Finished All The Coffee I made earlier.  We're talkin a solid 3 or 4 cups worth Just For Me!  Hey good idea for caricature Giant Coffee Cup that references how much I like Giant Coffee!  Something along those lines, right?  I had a friend who drew recreationally in high school and once gave me a caricature-ish picture of myself.  I was dressed as a Leprechaun and for some reason had hairy testicles on my chin.  Wasn't one of my favorite friends.  Beggars can't be choosers, though, that's been my experience In Regards To Friendship.  It wasn't like a Fuck You! though.  He wasn't being a jerk.  Well, he was.  He was a Being A Jerk Not An Asshole.  He was just poking fun at me and it was meant to be endearing.  Still wasn't one of my favorite friends.




    Right?  There was Tomato Sauce when Communal Spaghetti Was Served Last Night.  But what was left today?  Almost ZERO tomato sauce.  That's right ITS A SCAM.  However, there is good news-- I put pulled a lever to make my Chair Go Up 6 Inches.  So there's good and bad news in every story.  Its the same story because I Had To Sit Higher to Eat Spaghetti on my desk.  I was operating at too low an angle before!  I could have put some Hot Sauce on Spaghetti.  I could have done a lot of things.  That's one of them!  I could have left this Spaghetti Boiling In Water An Extra 90 Seconds, it'd be A More Perfect Consistency, but we can't go back in time!  If we could, I'd probably be busy using that power to do more important/PLEASURABLE things.  Like watching Old Cinimax movies.  Surely there's an easier way to watch those movies than inventing time travel. 
    Well, why bother, you got More OR Less The Same Thing online, that's the point.  N
Not quite.  You get more or less the same Sex Scenes, but the overall plot and narrative of The Cinimax Pornography is nowhere to be found!  We must invent time travel to retrieve pornography that I'm not even 100% on board with in the first place!  This chair is way too high.  What was I thinking?!  Anyway its fun to wear Pajamas to take out garbage.  Feels like I'm getting away with something.  Does that put me On The Spectrum to being an exhibitionist?  I dunno they should make a Cinimax Porn about it.
    I'd watch it!  I got nothing better to do!
  Also HOLY SHIT ITS ABOUT ME, or at least BASED ON MY IDEA, DUH I'M GONNA WATCH IT UNDER THAT SCENARIO.  C'mon.  What else is going on!  The point is I've had the same can of canned chili for about 2 months and I LOVE chili but I have yet to eat it under the premise I will combine it with rice.  And I got some rice.  That's easy enough to make.  Either with boiling water or maybe even as simple as microwaving.  But I haven't motivated myself to be like Ok I know EXACTLY how to make the rice to pair with the chili, now lets do it.  Or I could just make the chili, and if I wanna pair something with it, how about some Tortilla Chips I got some of those that makes sense with some chili.  Tonight Feels Like A Once In A Lifetime Chili + Rice meal.  First time I Make Myself Rice.  Only happens once, lets make the most of it.
    Great!  Two more paragraphs?  More?  Less?  I dunno!  Somehow there were 2 small pieces of what I'm guessing were Tomato in my spaghetti.  Presumably from the tomato sauce, although I don't remember it being a Chunky Sauce at all with bits of tomato.  But it must have been.  And all the Bits of Tomato must have Sunk To The Bottom of Communal Spaghetti so I got all of it just now!  I don't have any better explanation so lets stick wth that.  Pour some chili over some spaghetti.  Its like Spaghetti Bolognese but at very extreme proportions.  I dunno, it also has Beans.  Is that relevant?
Last paragraph!  Wonderful.  I dropped a piece of spaghetti a few minutes ago.  I couldn't find it.  Panic'd a bit.  I don't wanna have a piece of spaghetti on my floor indefinitely.  I just found it.  Problem solved!  Yeah!  I'm starting to get the sense I dunno if I'm ever gonna go outside again.  I mean, maybe not until the fall?  I haven't thought about it in a while, to be honest.  Although every other night when I take out Garbage or something I am like oh right this thing still exists.  Going Outside.  Hmm one day I might be able to do that again.  I look forward to that day!  But for now Lets Burrow Into My Sleeping Nest during Spring&SummerLongHibernation.  I'll see you guys later.

-4:14 P.M.

P.S.-- sorry for using the word, "Cunt."  It was important to the story!




Sunday, June 14, 2020

I Just Wanted To Say I'm Proud Of You

    Real good Father/Son Title.  Anyway I think we can all agree that We Want Haircuts, right?  As someone whose gone through many, many periods in life Going Long Without A Haircut Due To Laziness, I can confidently assert having long, messy hair will effect your self-esteem/over-all mindset even if you don't realize it.  We Are All Unkempt is the point.  Also, where will Black People go to talk about things? A ZOOM Barbershop?  Or A ZOOM HairSalon for the ladies?  Or a ZOOM Orthodontists office for the kiddies?  Anyway I can confidently assert that Going To The Orthodontist was easily the worst Semi-Regular Appointment I've ever had to made, as a child or adult.  And as an adult I've done LOTS of semi-regular appointments. 
    1) they had a video game system set up for those waiting-- a sega genesis-- but it was designed that it Cancels the Game And Goes Back to Main Menu after ~90 seconds.  I guess under the theory it'll give someone else a chance to play.  But since you can't get any satisfaction playing Sonic The Hedgehog up to The Middle Of Level One, no one would want to use it anyway.  2)  longest Wait Times I've had in my life.  Every time it'd be easily 2-3 hours Just Waiting To Be Called In.  3)  IHad to wait with my Mom.  She drove me!  She was driving my Home after!  SHE'S HERE AND I'M FOURTEEN YEARS OLD I DON'T WANNA HANG OUT WITH MY MOM ITS ENRAGING SITTING NEXT TO HER.  Also, all this sucks even more for her!  Not that I really cared at the time.
    4)  Got tired of them showing Finding Nemo EVERY GOD DAMN DAY.  I think its because they had a fish tank in the middle of the waiting room.  A Real Big One.  Like, practically freakin' an aquarium, this is a big fish tank.  So I guess they wanted to stick with that theme and just show Finding Nemo all day every day.  And I wasn't on board with EITHER of this.  Ugh I have the sense memory, just bored as fuck, staring at a huge fish tank...  I don't even know if they had fishes.  They almost definitely did, because that'd be pretty crazy if they didn't, but if I'm being honest I DUNNO IF I EVER SAW ANY FISHES THIS WHOLE FISH TANK COULD BE A SCAM.
Anyway.  Also this is just the problems I have with the appointment itself.  Obviously wearing a retainer for years and having Braces for years and all that crap is Crap & A Half.  I ended up giving up on my Post-Braces-Retainer only 90% through to the end.  I dunno why, or why my parents allowed it.  Spending tens of thousands of dollars, dozens if not hundreds of man-hours, and then being like well, nice lookin' teeth arrangement, we got there 90% of the way, that's pretty good.  But that's my own fault.  I ain't blaming them for that.  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.
    The point is they gotta put up on the internet, and advertise it heavily so they could get A LOTTA clicks, how do practically-adequately cut your family member's hair.  For Men/Boys its gotta be Achievable, right?  I mean, nothing fancy.  But they could probably teach The Average Guy how to just give Another Guy a crew cut or something simple like that.  I feel very strongly about this and I WANT IN ON THE AD REVENUE.  I dunno, what else is going on and crap.  Started watching the new Spike Lee Joint after some hesitation.  It was during Circle Walk and for Legit GOOd Movies, that's less than ideal way to watch it, cause, uhhh.. the rhythm is a little off?  But I couldn't settle on a Lesser thing to watch, so there ya go. 
 Hey, finally requested my Absentee Ballot for upcoming NY Primary.  The Rhythm being off is the main thing, but there's also the obvious I Am Not Looking At The Screen At All for 1/3-1/2 of it.  Time Spent Circle Walking AWAY from the screen as opposed to the time heading and looking Towards It.  I'm not Superman, I don't have eyes in the back of my head.  Neither does Superman.  Yeah but he doesn't need 'em he's got Senses so great even BETTER than having BackHeadEyes.  I feel like there's a slightly alternate universe where I'm really into comics as a kid.  I feel like it would be a Better Universe.  But what can ya do.  I'll be back in a bit. 



Really?  Really?

    Yup!  If I don't get a I Presumably Voted/Will Vote! sticker in the mail with my Absentee Ballot there's gonna be Hell to pay!  Anyway, I've been Trying And Failing to help my Dad with his homework.  Well, I'm helping him a solid 50-66.7% of the time.  Had to help him Take A Picture Of Himself And Use It As An Avatar.  After 30 minutes we figured that out!  Had to help him Extract a Zip File to read/see whatever the Crux of it was.  Failed!  Couldn't help him!  I thought I knew Zip Files But I Had No Idea!  Anyway looking very likely I'm making some Spaghetti tonight.  With some Meatballs!  And some sauce-- spaghetti sauce, presumably-- to heat up as well!  I Just Man The Spaghetti Station.  Past experiences has my Mom workin' the meatballs and either my Mom or Dad workin' the sauce.
    Havin' a solid Breakfast Quesadilla for lunch.  A frozen one.  I ain't making this crap myself what kinda cook ou take me for.  The kind who would abuse his authority if he had the chance.  Well you're right there why else would I become a cook.  Isn't that a premise that people aren't really seeing.  People specifically become cops-- probably expicitly so-- to beat up people and push 'em around.  It's not like hey cops are 80% assholes for some reason.  ANd it's not even a subtle, hmm how about that weird..  no THEY KNOW IT THEMSELVES.  That's my impression, though.  Presumably based on TV Shows I've Seen.  Well, also movies.  ANd also my own imagination.  Presumably some gathered from implied body langauge and interactions I've had with cops.  I got their number oh boy.
    It just boggles the mind not to be a proponent of True Police Reform (or scrapping Police and Starting Over From The Ground Up).  What are you scared of??  Them beating you up?  C'mon.  Are you scared it'll hurt you politically?  Are you kidding?  If you frame it the right way, in this moment?  You'll BENEFIT politically.  Maybe you just wanna seem like a tough guy, too.  You're just the Political Extension of them.  Yeah I'm on the cops side Because I'm A Tough Guy, Too!  You fuckin' tools grow a set of balls and stop the police state from killing, abusing, and terrifying black bodies.  Ya know something along those lines is what I would say to politicians.  UH OH THE LEVEL JUST RESET BACK TO THE MAIN MENU I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS PARAGRAPH...  Luckily no one else is waiting to play.  Hey, I get to write this paragraph over and over and over again!  Better than watching an aquarium that only consists of plastic foliage! 
Right?  I finished that Breakfast Quesadilla like a Champ!  It's all in my Belly now!  I dunno.  Hey when I'm done here I get to watch the rest of Spike Lee Joint the right way!  Also I'm privledged when it comes to cops!  If I can see how fucked up this is imagine how apparant it is to the masses of Americans who are routinely staring down the Evil Side of police every day!  Me?  COPS SAVED ME FROM MY VCR.  I musta told that story before.  Only time I/my family ever called the cops was I got my finer stuck in the VCR trying to put in/remove a VHS tape!  And it's a 20% chance it was a Fireman who helped me pull it out while not losing my finger OR the VCR but more likely it was the police!  It's a good thing they were armed to the teeth, though.  I might have been a black person with my finger stuck in the VCR in which case Anything Can Happen!
What was the VHS?  I wish I knew.  First one that comes to mind is Cop & a Half but that's probably just because my subconscious was Thinking Of Cops.  Also why can't all cops be Burt Reynolds.  He's a jerk and pretty asshole-y but IN A REGULAR OL' DECENT PERSON WAY.  Also why can't all cops be The Half.  The black kid.  Man Oh Man if all the cops were him they'd be GREAT cops both GREAT AT BEING COPS and also VERY CONSIDERATE AND UN-VIOLENT.  This kid doesn't have a violent bone in his body!  Except when he plays the joke, what comes are, "L," and then the person is like, I Dunno and he goes, "BO!" and elbows them in the gut.  If that was the extent of police violence I'd be 100% okay with that.  As long as its used under only the most... something... circumstances...   The point is good movie lets all watch it one day.



Ain't That Somethin'

    That's good I guess.  Also Burt Reynolds As Cop In That Movie wasn't 100% on the up and up.  He was an illegal asshole to some people.  Like, this one guy, he arrested, but he was like I don't want you stinkin' up my car, so he handcuffed him to the outside of the passenger seat, and he made him RUN ALL THE WAY to the police station, trying to keep up with the police car.  That's gotta be against all sorts of rules and regulations, I don't condone it.  Not even mentioning that This Man Has Been Convicted Of No Crime!  Just a suspect at this point!  But the point is By The End Burt Reynolds is a good guy. Bad Cop With Room For Improvement!  And he got there!
    Here's a good way to poll prospective Police-- primarily, do you want to Help People or Hurt People?  And I'd guess over 50% of them would be like well I want to Help People by Hurting Other People.  Right? That's the correct answer?  That'd be the most common response. And they're SAYING That, but I think they're deluding themselves!  They Just Want To Hurt People!  Who am I to complain I still got all my digits thanks to Police!  How'd they know how to handle that situation!  They have no background in VCR technology.  What'd they know that my Dad or Mom couldn't figure out themselves?  Probably have some tools we didn't have.  Probably lubricated my Digit up real good.  Nope I remember no lubrication.  Well maybe you just blocked out that memory.  Maybe!
The moral of the story is I Know We Want To Take The VHS Out Of The VCR As Quickly As Possible So We Can Replace It With a VHS We Want To Watch, but it pays to Do It Right Take Your Time The New Movie You Wanna Watch Isn't Going Anywhere You Can Stand To Watch It Two Seconds Later!  How come I didn't have any Spike Lee Joints on VHS.  My parents weren't working hard enough to have me educated on Joints of all different perspectives!  What's the closest thing to a African American Viewpoint that I had.  Jurassic Park II: The Lost World.  Sounds about right!  Alright that's not-.... well Jeff Goldblum's daughter is African American.  Hmm.  I must have had at least one movie that... OH what's it called.  Don't Get Shot In South Central While... Juice... The Wayans Brothers Movie.  If I didn't have that on VHS then I watched it a bunch of times on TV which seems unlikely because it's R rated.  Oh. BLANK MAN! But, no, The Point Is I wanted to think of a DRAMA from a Black Perspective.  Hmm. 
    Well I guess I just didn't have that experience growing up.
  Such is life, now I know when I have kids to raise them on films from all kinds of perspectives.  Man oh man I'd watch ALL Jurassic Park/World films in chronological order over the next few days/week.   That's really the point I'm trying to make.  A Michael Chricton Joint.  HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FILMS C'MON.  What was I talking about.  Police.  VCRs.  No Black Movies except for comedies as a kid.  Well I guess I could have written those last 3 sentences instead of the last 3 paragraphs.  A lot more concise.  Yeah but then we're losing All The Laughs Accumulated Over Those Paragraphs!  I don't remember making any jokes.  That's the best kind of joke!  The kind you forget were jokes and then when looking at them you're like This Is Supposed To Be Funny?  You know-- It's a Practical joke!
  Last paragraph presumably.  Sure I'll have to cook spaghetti later life is about making sacrifices.  Hey I haven't missed a day without an entry in roughly 3 months.  That's, that's freakin' 1/4th of a year with an entry EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I demand some sort of Ad Revenue retroactively.  I should be able to sell some ad space Now and then part of the deal is they also give me revenue for all the time I Sold No Ads.  Only fair way to do it, right?  Hmm that's gotta be a thing, right?  Some sort of service where you're like I have a personal website, get X amount of hits, lemme put up some JavaScript or something with what you wanna put out there.  If not I demand royalties for coming up with that idea!  I want lots of revenue is the point I'm trying to make, only fair way to go about things.  I'll see ya later.

-4:36 P.M.



Saturday, June 13, 2020

Write It Up

    Yep.  Another day, another dollar.  Just took in a package from Outside The House.  I was able to do it with only one hand!  You know what that means!  Only One Glove.  Or the, "Michael Jackson," as its called.  Or the OJ Simpson.  He tried on one glove, didn't fit, didn't even bother trying on the other one!  My theory is he injected steroids into his digits starting several weeks before that stunt, that's my theory!  Also I have no memory of the OJ Simpson Trial, I just know it As A Reference.  It was, what, 1994?  I was only Five Years Old For Most Of That Year!  The first news stories I have a concrete memory of were the tandem of Columbine Shooting, George Harrison dying, and Christopher Reeve and/or Sonny Bono having skiing mishaps.  NONE OF THIS ADDS UP.  Christopher Reeve accident was 1995.  Sonny Bono was 1998.  George Harrison dying was 2001.  Columbine was 1999.  So Columbine and Sonny Bono, lets go with that, those were within 8 or 9 months of each other.
The point is The Great Part of wearing One Glove is 50% the cost.  It's called being economical, you jerk!  Anyway if this is over and I have a surplus of rubber gloves I assume I can use those as condoms, right?  Also my my wang is like the middle finger not the pinky.  All the fingers in rubber gloves are equal, except the thumb.  Ok then the point is my wang is so big it fits BOTH THE THUMB AND THE RING FINGER.  I've got some problems downstairs is the point but I'm gonna save a lot of money on condoms!  Which I have very little current use for but the point is I dunno I forget.  The good news is I can just try putting a glove on there and going to town by myself, see how that works.  Doesn't sound fun, these gloves aren't very lubricated at all. Maybe I LIKE IT that way, ever think of that?  Is that a Kink.  Oooh yeah I like it dry.  Presumably.
    You can't jerk off to Dry Porn, though.  Seems like you'd actually have to engage the Touch, not just see it.  Well, you can.  You'd have no proof of how dry it is but you could watch 2 people go to down on each other both exclaiming ITS SO DRY!!!  And you can jerk off to Dryness yourself, just get yourself some sand paper or something.  The point is I'm Hip To The Next Big Thing In Kinks so c'mon get in on the ground level.  What else.  Last 2 days, been watching He Got Game during my Circle Walking.  Its good because Jesus Shuttlesworth is to basketball what I am to walking in a circle.  Anyway, that's a good Father/Son movie, and especially for the tandem of My Father And My Son.  Wait, I mean, My Father And Me.  Its based on a true story about a Great Once In A Lifetime Basketball Prospect at Lincoln Highschool in Brooklyn.  Based on Stephon Marbury but a fictionalized version.  MY DAD WAS MATH ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL OF LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL IN BROOKLYN!!!
    So its a father son movie and my father and son (again, I mean My Father And Me) are only 1 degree removed!!!  Also they actually shot it in the school and my father Used The Bathroom next to Ray Allen (real life NBA B-Baller who played Jesus).  Presumably he intimidated Ray Allen with his Dry Dick.  My Dad had no stories about Stephon Marbury, but he did once have to discipline Marbury's cousin for something.  I forget what!  Uh oh i violated Assistant Principal-Basketball-Cousin privilege.  I know I've talked about this before.  I'll talk about it again!  THEY CONVERTED THE STORAGE CLOSET ACROSS THE HALL FROM MY DAD'S OFFICE INTO LOOKING LIKE A BASKETBALL COACH'S COACHING OFFICE.  BEFORE IT HELD STORAGE THINGS THEN IT LOOKED LIKE A SPRUCED UP OFFICE.  I DUNNO WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS.  WHETHER THEY KEPT IT LOOKIN NICE OR WENT BACK TO USING IT AS A STORAGE CLOSET.  I WOULD HAVE KEPT THE OFFICE, IT LOOKED NICE, C'MON DON'T LET THAT GO TO WASTE.
    Alright, compromise-- I've said 90% of that before-- maybe being Concerned About Converted Storage Closet I never talked about-- so I'm gonna leave it in, but make this section of Entry six paragraphs.  That's a good compromise!  Also they impugned my Dad's good name-- I've talked about this facet of the story before.  The Coach (IN HIS FAKE OFFICE) is like, to Jesus, who took care of that problem when you were having trouble in Calculus.  My Dad was IN CHARGE OF MATH OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL.  Math assistant principal.  THEY'RE IMPLYING, MY DAD RECEIVED A BRIBE AND ACCEPTED IT.  I won't stand for it.  I think I have grounds to sue.  No I don't.  Yeah but you could imagine what'd it be like if I did.  Also if My Dad was regularly taking bribes to pass people in Calculus (why would he be taking calculus in the first place if he's no good at math?  II didn't even take calculus in high school.  Pre-cal, sure.  But even that was an unnecessary advanced class.  THAT'S RIGHT IT SMELLS LIKE A PLOT HOLE.  Anyway, if my Dad was taking bribes, he was spending it all on himself in ways we were never privy to.  Callin a Toilet a Plop Hole.  Feeling grossed for using the word, "Plop," in its grossest possible context.
I guess.  Hey sixth paragraph wonderful.  I'm pretty sure George Harrison died in late 1998 or 1999.  I remember them playing Here Comes The Sun around wintertime on the news, close to New Years Eve AKA The End Of The Calendar Year, celebrating this man's life and mourning his death, BEFORE the turn of the millennium.  Anyway.  That's 1/2 of the memory.  He died, they played his best song, and me thinking HEY IT HASN'T BEEN 2000 YET, STILL IN THE HIGH 90's!  I dunno why that was important to the memory it just was!  Although apparently all of this is False so I dunno what to make of any if it.  What else is going on.  I ended up talking about my Dad/He Got Game for 2 paragraphs.  Guess I need to make this section seven paragraphs, then.  I don't gotta do nothin'.  But I choose to make it 7 paragraphs is the point.
    Cool!  I'll talk about He Got Game all the time all I want.  It's in my Top 10 of Drama Movies of All Time!  Hmm what other are top 10 Drama movies.  SPIDERMAN.  ALL THAT DRAMA!  No, shut up.  Other top 10 Dramas-- both Prison Stephen King/Frank Darabont movies [Shawshank + Green Mile {part fantasy part drama MOSTLY DRAMA}], The 25th Hour [so far 2 films for 2 directors each!!] The Ben Stiller Show  Wait hold on.  I was just looking up at my DVDs for ideas and that was the first one I saw.  Ok, back on track.  Barry Lyndon!  Maybe Big Fish, another good father/son movie.  I need 4 more.  Hmm.  Do Crime movies count?  Like a, "The Departed?"  Nah I ain't countin' that shit that opens up too many options.  Maybe a Road To Perdition.  The point is I Like Father/Son movies.  Which is weird because, my own father, I can take it or leave it!  I'll be back in a bit.



I Don't Know About That

    I suppose.  Done with coffee for today.  Got some chicken fingers in the oven.  I will try to fit them into latex gloves as sort of a Presentation Of Lunch To Myself.  Only three chicken fingers, though.  Five Digit Holes.  Oh, perfect.  3 chicken fingers and My Wang.  That'll fit 5 holes for some reason.  The great news is my Mom ordered me like 160 Tootsie Pops from Amazon Per My Direction and I May Already Have That!  Could have been what's in that box I just got.  Could be still on its way!  I have no way of knowing so why bother even speculating.  That's my new Life Philosophy.  I Dunno, Why Speculate.  Feels like a pretty good Adage to live by. 
    Whatever.  1/2 Tootsie Pops Just Chocolate, the other 1/2 a Full Mix. Of which, gotta imagine, 1 out of 6 or 7 are chocolate.  So whats The Math On What Percent Is Chocolate Overall?  1/6th.  1/12th of both + 6/12.  Sounds like 7/12 of these suckers [Pun Not Intended But Welcome!] are chocolate!  I didn't even need to bribe My Dad to get hat one right!  Although I guess I did abstractly.   I got good enough At Math To Know Fraction Addition to, "Bribe," him myself, so he would reciprocate by giving me, "Fatherly Love."  You know, that sort of thing!  Get off my back about it is the point.
    Jeez.  All those father/son favorite movies, that's just in Drama!  I think most Comedies are inherently Father/Son movies, at least for my family, cause Everyone Of All Ages Appreciates Dumb.  Also The Departed.  Gotta imagine there's a Father/Son relationship in that movie.  Oh, right.  Mark Walhberg and Alec Baldwin.  They were Father And Son.  No  they weren't.  You make an interesting counter-argument.  Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson had a Father-ish/Son-like Relationship.  Not really!  But the closest thing I can think of.  Oh, right.  Anthony Anderson and Leonardo DiCaprio.  I don't know what's going on anymore.
    Hey I just went downstairs to take chicken fingers out of the oven and There Was My Dad!  I whistled at him!  He whistled back!  That's easily our most common form of communication.  One of us whistles, the other one whistles back.  Either just a 2 note, FHeewwh Fhwwehew), or one of us starts an easily recognizable tone, and then the next one finishes it.  Or does Part II, in which case it goes back to the initiator for Part III.  Sometimes that's all you need.  Also thse chicken fingers are Wang sized, but not 2 Headed Wang.  That curse is for me and me alone.  Oh well such is life.  That's gotta exist somewhere, right?  The man with 2 Wangs?  And if Natural Selection does its job, in a million years We'll All Have 2 Wangs.  Seems like a clear Biological Advantage to me!
    It's gotta be weird and upsetting that for many African Americans in USA, and people in similar situations across the world, ancestors weren't 100% Natural Seletion.  Because White Slave Owners artificially breed-ed slaves?  I guess philosophically you could argue its still abstractly natural selection in a way, but not the way we know it.  That's gotta be weird for people.  To know their your ancestors were Bred Together, or, worse, that you got a Rap-er in your  ancestry.  And without Rape you wouldn't be around.  Ugh that's gotta be the worst.  It's only a couple generations removed from being like Yeah my Grandfather Raped my Grandmother and that's where my Mom came from.  True Story!  Ugh.  Turns out slavery and rape are gross!  I Had No Idea!




Pot Committed To This Whole Thing

    Yeah!  In eugenics, for people who want to perpetuate the white race, they sure did a lot of breeding black people.  That's MY hot take.  I think those movements were separate.  But it still Sounds like a Hot Take so I'm sticking with it.  What about stuff like letting Nobility Determine Marriages & Offspring.  So you get all those inbred royal families.  Is that still natural selection?  I think so.  Presumably.  In most cases.  I dunno.  Have you seen this recent new African American Guy Getting Murdered?  The guy who they found hung on a tree and the police were like well clearly this is a suicide!  What's his name.  LMLTURQ.  https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/13/us/palmdale-man-found-dead/index.html Robert L Fuller.  That's even on another level.  To lynch a black person and have the nerve to say its a suicide?  Jeesus Christ these people.
    Well, I dunno. Daily reminder-- Lets not forget that most police are still racist, and if they're not killers, they at least enjoy beating people of all colors up, and abuse their authority every day.  And Biden wants to give them more money.  Abusing authority is a weird turn of phrase.  You never heard about most professions abusing their authority.  How could a cook abuse his authority.  ... It might go a little something like.... this.... what else is going on.  Nobody knows.  Not me.  I don't wanna let this moment go.  But what can I do.  Media has decided to move on.  Protests are still going on.  But from what I can tell, they just stopped covering them.  Yep We Got Enough Lets Move On.  Doesn't seem right.  We need to dig in.  This isn't 2 weeks-- this is what we're devoting the next months to.  Right?  Better than devoting months to nothing.  Might as well devote it to Racial Justice/Police Reform.  The overlap between the two, pretty much.
    Sounds right to me.  I think its easy to get to thinking this stuff isn't fun to talk about lets move on!  But that's life!  Sometimes You Dig In To Something That Isn't Fun For Months BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR JOB.  Dummies.  I know Trump gets bored with the same issue going more than a week but that doesn't mean you need to.  Otherwise Nothing Will Ever Get Done.  You can't make real progress on something in the amount of time the mainstream media mostly feels comfortable affording to most every story.  The system is set up that way, advertently or not, so it won't accomplish any real people-powered change.  So lets change the system!  That's my Hot Take on things, right?  I forget.  I know this paragraph is over, though!  Also its easy to change the system!  JUST TALK ABOUT THE SAME THING FOR MORE TIME.  Go more in depth!  Let things breathe!
    What else is going on.  Full Disclosure-- I don't watch much of the main stream media!  I'm just going based on what my impression is 1 or 2 degrees removed from mainstream media!  Based on the little I hear/see from when my Parents are watching and I'm downstairs, based on the impression I get from people on Twitter, and based on my own assumptions based on what mainstream media would do when I did watch it regularly.  II put all those things together to form a hypothesis that I'm relatively confident is somewhat relevant!  Get off my back about it!  Anyway.  Is it still, "The Same Story," if there's a new African American person getting killed every week?  I'm asking for a friend!
Just kidding I was asking for myself. I HAVE NO FRIEND!   True story.  Anyway 1 more paragraph to wrap this up.  Got the whole day ahead of me!  So much Day so Zero Chores.  There might be some stuff To Wipe Down And Put Away.  I may have to work minutely to prepare my dinner for consumption.  That's really about it.  Probably should take a shower or something.  I don't think I've bathed since Wednesday.  The point is another day another dollar.  I'm not getting ANY dollars any days.  Is Spiderman a good Father-Uncle movie?  I mean, Uncle-Son movie?  I mean, Uncle-Nephew Movie?  I dunno never really had a deep relationship with my Uncle.  Not estranged.  I see him on Christmasses and he took me gambling twice!  He's an okay guy but he's never Inspired Me To Be A Crime Fighter is the point.  So JUST OKAY in my book!  I'll see ya later.

-3:58 P.M.



Friday, June 12, 2020

Sounds About Right

    I was thinking about it, and one possbile vocation I can get once Outdoor Life Resumes is Pointing Out Plot Holes in stories.  Not just movies!  Plot holes in books, in songs and albums, in audiobooks and podcasts, TV Shows and music videos, trade manuals and newspapers.  There's plot holes afoot all over the place and The Public Must Be Warned!  I was thinking about the criticism of, "Cancel Culture," and I think it missed the important point that if you cancel a TV show, the people who worked on its careers aren't over.  It's not like, Oh FULLER HOUSE isn't getting high enough ratings!  WELL I GUESS NO MORE JOHN STAMOS!!!  It just means the current iteration of what you're doing Isn't Going Well With The American Public Right Now.  Try again later.
I guess outside the entertainment industry, there's not as much Job Turnover.  You've been working at a place 1/2 your adult life and you get, "Cancelled," for being an overt bigot or sexual misconduct-er or something, it's not as simple to find a new job.  But you still CAN.  A lot of us have to look for new jobs all the time!  And when unemployment rate is low, that means most of us Can Find Something!  And if you can't collect that sweet sweet unemployment check.  In which case America is basically subsidizing Overt Racism & Sexual Misconduct In The Work Place, but that's a debate for another day!  Also the point is It's Gotta Be Pretty Rare for People To Get Cancelled Outside The Entertainment Industry.  You have to basically do Something Terrible on a Viral Video.  That's the only thing I can imagine that'll get the job done.
    Anyway, what else is crappening.  Is that sorta becoming a Dog Whistle, though?  Well, I'm using that phase incorrectly.  Is itbecoming a new Scare Tactic?  White People are just in terror WHAT IF I GET CANCELLED?!?!?  Maybe take that enthusiasm for not getting cancelled and don't do anything terrible on Camera.  And then, maybe if you're not doing terrible things on cameras, that'll spill over into your regular life, and suddenly we got a society doing Slightly Less Terrible Things.  In which case Cancel Culture ONE, no Cancel Culture NOTHIN!  Its not a side effect of protesting, having to weed out the bad apples.  It may actually work as an effective deterrent for Future SomethingTerriblers.  Alright We Cancelled Culture And Then Commissioned A Pilot For A New More Inclusive Culture!  Slap Hands!
Also, if you're Cancelled So Hard you won't ever work in a prominent role again?  98% chance that's appropriate!  Anyway, Hashtag Suggestion for Trumpers-- #DontCancelMe!.  It makes me laugh AND its something I could easily imagine.  I'm sure its popped up in Hashtags dozen of times!  It just never caught on as far as I know!  THIS PARAGRAPH COULD BE ITS BIG BREAK!  #CancelJohnStamos.  He knows what he did.  I'm not 100% on what John Stamos is.  I'm sure he's a Full House Guy, cause I googled Fuller House castmembers, and also it Sounds Right.  That's about all I got.  When I try to picture him I'm picturing Lou Diamond Phillips.  Go figure.  Not 100% sure what Lou Diamond Phillips is.  Either some sort of Poker Player or Hardware Store Attendant.
    Jeez.  If CancelCulture is the Wedge Issue Trump/Biden decide to clash over, good headline for Trumps Electoral Defeat is CANCELLED!  It also speaks to his premise for himself that he's just The President Of TV.  So being cancelled is even worse than losing some, "Election," for,"President."  Right?  I dunno.  The point if Your Parents should have Cancelled your inclination to be a racist or misogynist or anything On Viral Videos.  I mean, in life in general, that's ideal.  But at least have the good sense to Keep That Close, right?  They were raised that way, we can no more cancel them than we can cancel ourselves.  We Are All Cancelled Today.  And there's no good TV SYNDICATION SHOW to replace us.  We're just goin' completely off the air for 9 months.  In the mean time we'll retool this production and see how that goes.  


You Don't Say

    I think its kinda poetic that in a society that values Fame and Celebrity over all else, that the worst thing that could happen to some people is to be, "Cancelled."  Hey you know how you're scared of being Cancelled?  That's right they can do it to anybody!  That's how some people are scared of being Killed.  Or threatened.  Or assaulted.  Or Raped.  LOOK PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES SO WHAT.  ALSO I'm 100% sorry for sort of implying that People Getting Killed Or Raped could in some way have deserved it.  It's not a Perfect Simile (I FORGOT TO SAY LIKE OR AS).  Cause if we're scared of killed or raped or assaulted we obviously have done nothing to deserve any of that.  So it's not a perfect analogy I Get It!  But I don't have the six minutes of time to devote to retooling this paragraph to make the same point in a more accurate and less offensive way!  SIX MINUTES GET OUTTA HEER WITH THAT BULLSHIT. 
But the point is that if White Folks are scared of getting canceled, they likely themselves believe they haven't done anything, either.  That they'll be cancelled for nothing! That's the premise.  And maybe there are a lot of white people who don't even use social media, never have been shot on video doing anything, and they're still scared THE CANCELLERS, ONE DAY THEY'RE COMING FOR ME, THIS HARDLY SEEMS RIGHT!  Sounds about right for America.  Also, non-white folks can be scared of getting cancelled.  Dunno how I settled into Just White Folks fo this discussion.  We're all at risk!  Of being canclled/deserving to be cancelled/worrying about being cancelled/being cancelled/worryingaboutcancellingothers!  That's MY role.  You can't cancel me I'm above reproach!!!!  I'm sure I've said some racist jokes in crazysheet.com because I thought it was funny when I was a young teenager.  Cancel me all you want I ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!!  Also uh this is my website.  If you wanna get rid of it you're gonna have to take that up with godaddy.com.
    If anything crazysheet.com taught me NOT to make offensive jokes.
  Probably started off makin' em the first year or two of The Dot Com, when I was 14, or 15, and then, over time, growing accustomed to making jokes in public, with some sort of presumptive audience, I realized well this is not only offensive, its a crutch, it reflects badly on me, its childish, lets move on and whatnot.  Anyway next great American Novel.  #CANCELLED.  And the hashtag is necessary it Drives The Point Home!!!  Wait no that sounds more like a 13 episode series somewhere which is, un-ironically, not picked up for a second season.  Just a happy coincidence!!!
    Also when I say Offensive Jokes I just mean using racial or homophobic slurs, or alluding to them.  No joke.  Nothin like here's a laugh-em-up using stereotypes of a certain racial group or gender.  Nothing where I imply other groups are Worse or I Don't Like Them or anything like that.  Just me getting my jollies using words I'm not supposed to.  I didn't get jollies from it.  Not overtly!  But I guess that was the subtext.  I dunno.  The point is I Cancelled Myself For 4 or 5 Years And Then Retooled and Came Back Better Than Ever!  Maybe I did make laugh-em-ups about gender or race.  I actually think I did now.  I guess I was Blacking that Out of my memory.  Well, the point is, I don't anymore.
Oh now I get it.  The reason it didn't occur to me at first was taht it was always my intention, although obviously not importantly, that I was being SARCASTIC when making offensive jokes.  I don't believe in this but Hey Its Easy And It Came To Mind So I Guess I Mean It To Some Extent That It Even Comes To Mind But C'mon You And I Both Know It's All In Jest!!!  So I figure that's cancel-worthy but not a Complete-Life-Time-Ban.  That's the kind of stuff that happens to young sports guys these days.  Lots of young players that are like hey you were racist on your twitter as a teenager and they have the same story I did.  So it's a Cancel but With Room For Improvement.


That's Cool I Guess!

    Here's an idea-- we set up a 1 time only National Purge, but instead of We All Get To Kill Each Other, it's just a 1 time only chance to Everyone Airs Every Crappy Thing They've Done On Record That They're Worried Will Reflect Badly On Them If Uncovered.  And all the non-criminal ones are Forgiven-- that's the rub!  Criminal ones, SORRY, GOTTA BE INVESTIGATED, THEMS THE BREAKS!!!  In which case people probably would choose not to share their crimes.  But if its not a crime, we get this one chance OK LETS RIP IT OFF LIKE A BAND-AID!  I think its a good idea and I demand financial credit if it were to ever happen.  Also I copyrighted that idea.  By which I mean I wrote it down and put it in an envelope and mailed it to myself.  And I didn't open it.  Is that just an urban legend-- that that's a shorthand and legally binding way to Own a piece of Creative property?  Probably just an urban legend.
    Anyway, great.  Protests still going on I hope.  So much more work to be done!  HEY BIDEN SAYS WE SHOULD OUTLAW CHOKE HOLDS NATIONWIDE.  That seems like, uhhh, I don't know why it  was allowed in the first place.  Next its gonna be like BIDEN WANTS TO OUTLAW POLICE COMMITTING PILEDRIVERS NATIONWIDE.  I Dunno Why This Was Being Not Just Tolerated But Part Of The Suggestions For How To Appropriately React To People!  I was gonna watch Dave Chapel's New Thing but I got called away for something, then I came here to write more for Entry, so I'll get to back to that in a bit.  Anyway, where's Greta Thunberg at.  Most famous protester of the last decade, and now NOWHERE TO BE SEEN?  IS SHE PRO-RACISM?  Only conclusion I can draw!
    Anyway.  I kinda regret saying Black Votes Matter is a logical extension of Black Lives Matter.  I dunno.  It's not my place to get into this debate, but Black Lives, I dunno, Voting is an important right... perhaps the most important right... but LIVING... that's supposed to be the very base Given of being a person.  Right to live!  So I dunno.  I also feel mercenerial.  Because 3/4ths of it is I Think Black People Should Have The Right To Vote but there's also a solid 1/4th of it is thinkin' I Know Over Half Of The Time Black People Will Mostly Vote The Same Way I Would.  So I felt kinda jerky for making that point.  Hey thats great just great.  Also I INSIST mercenerial is a word even though Microsoft FrontPage nor Google acknowledges it. Like a mercenary.  Self-serving, sort of.  Right?  Makes sense to me!
    Presumably Penultimate Paragraph!  There's also the overlap between that 3/4th and 1/4th which is that I Identify With Black People Struggling For The Right To Vote because We Vote The Same Way For General Election Candidates 80-95% of the time.  So if they don't have the right to vote,  it's A Mix Of Those Two Reactions, cause I feel like my right to vote is also being abstractly impacted.  Ugh.  Anyway. But, then, continuing that thought, Not even abstractly.  Concretely. My vote tangibly means a lot less if elections are being rigged against my candidate.  And that's only talking about Racial Voting Suppression.  There's All Sorts of Voter Suppression Goin' Round! Cool!  What else is going on and crap.  One more paragraph!
    Wonderbar.  If we want that purge to work we might have to encourage people who've committed crimes from across the spectrum to own up to it, with guarantees of slightly more lenient sentences.  I don't like it but otherwise the Most Important Offenders won't participate!  Own up to it now or if we do find out THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY!  Something along those lines.  Also this doesn't happen every year.  It happens Once.  You commit Cancellation Crimes after that?  You're on your own You Should Know Better Now!  Well that's about it.  I'll see ya tomorrow for some reason no one is really sure of.

-2:53 P.M.




Thursday, June 11, 2020

Maybe I'm Titlin' For a Reason

    Ever think of that?  I'm tryin' out a new thing of Writing All 3 Titles First, before any entry!  As opposed to just going in chronological order.  Also-- still not putting much thought into the titles.  Why shuold the titles be any different than the entries?!  ...or the rest of my life.  The moral is I should probably put some more thought Into My Life.  That's a strange idea, but I Like It!  Anyway, what else is going on and crap.  I put thought into my life!  I'm still operating at The Same Thought for about the last few weeks.  Which is, wait out Pandemic, start taking walks again, resume alcohol consumption.  I've got Great Plans and for now I'm sticking to it! 
    Anyway I didn't read the article extensively but I'm under the impression the news of the day is Trump orders National Emergency To Continue Committing War Crimes.  Something along those lines.  Why is the Hoover Dam a tourist attraction.  Just a dam!  Huh where'd that come from.  I was thinking about the movie Vegas Vacation recently (A 1997 Addition to the Vacation w/ Cheverald Chasington Franchise) and they visit a Dam.  The Hoover Dam!  I mean is there any other Public Utility Vacation Destination in America NAY the World?  I dunno I can see Chinese People being into that.  If you told me that in China, people took their families on vacations to Utilities, I'd be like, well, that makes sense.  If you tell me Americans do it, I'd be like, well it must be near an epicenter of gambling and one of the parental units is against gambling so they're like fine we'll go to this epicenter of gambling AS LONG AS WE VISIT A UTILITY FOR AN ENTIRE DAY.
Something doesn't add up is the point!  Not 100% sure what the hubbub is about taking down Confederate Statues.  These people know that the Souls of the Confederates In Statue Question don't reside in the statue, right?  It's all pretend.  It's just a mock up of what that person is.  Taking it down has no practical effect on you or your ability to emulate this piece of crap.  You don't go to bed at night thinking
well the world is going to putt but there's a statute nearby of a Jerk Whose The Same Kinda Jerk I Am.   Maybe they do.  Lettem take the statue home with 'em.  Prop it up at the foot of their bed.  Then you can sleep with Confederate Heroes in the privacy of your own home and everyone wins! 
    I have no idea what that paragraph is about but I did write it so its got that going for it!  Hey Southern racists they're gonna build a mold of your dicks and its gonna be called Statue Of Limitations..  Again, I dunno if that makes sense, but I did write it!  So that's something to consider.  Also no Southern Racists read this.  No one who cares about Southern Racists read this.  Why am I devoting valuable paragraphs to Confederate Statue Fanboys?  I've got no use for it!  NO USE FOR IT!  Anyway I saw a Tweet from Chris Hayes, one of my Fav. Journos on twitter, and he was like well the next obvious thing to harness out of Protest Power (other than the obvious JUSTICE POLICE REFORM JUSTICE) is re-doin/improvin' voting rights.  And extrapolate to guaranteeing mail in ballots across the country, shoring up ALL Voting Issues that must be addressed for 2020 election and onward.  Cause we are seeing the power of Protest but without also guaranteeing the Power of... Voting... we're... well.. it's no bueno... Hmm. Makes sense to me.  Perfect sense!  It makes sense politically, it makes sense morally, it makes sense CHRONOLOGICALLY...  See, if I'm operating under the assumption Southern Racists are important to my demographic, why not operate under the assumption that Twitter Journo Ideas are important to my demographic.
    I operate under lots of assumptions.  Lets talk abut it.  My whole life, all of our lives, its just endless operating under different assumptions.  Anyway, woke up real late today.  Like, past 12:00 PM (Noon I know its easy to get confused for 12:00 PM OR AM because it's the change-over time).  And my breakfast was 4 or so Chocolate Dove Miniatures.  Milk Chocolate?  Dark Chocolate?  I don't have all the answers!  My guess is it was Milk Chocolate.  I can still SENSE IT ON MY PALATE.  More Grocery Delivery tomorrow.  We're talkin gettin some Chicken Fingers.  Real Chicken Fingers!  We're talkin Family is gettin' some Meatloaf.  Real Presumably Decent Meatloaf!  I'll be back with more entry in a lil' bit!



Pretty Nice Of You

    Wonderful.  Was the Hoover Dam named after President Herbert Hoover?  My guess is There's No Way Of Knowing So Why Even Speculate.  WHY CAN'T TOWN HAVE OFFICIAL STATUE TO MY FAVORITE WHITE RACIST.  BOOHOOHOOO.  Let's talk about it.  Anyway Coronavirus Cases seem to be going up again.  Who could have predicted that?  Everybody.  Yeah but BESIDES them.  I'm glad I didn't start taking walks Last Week.  And I didn't start getting Restuarant Deliveries This Week.  Lets listen to logic, America!  It's a strange idea but I've got a good feeling about it, in general.  Also, is Trump making a Military Base Name a wedge issue prudent?  I can't imagine there's a huge population of people who are like YEAH THOSE ARE THE NAMES OF MILITARY BASES... AND... ITS IMPORTANT!!!  I mean, obviously, I don't understand the 30% of America that is HardCoreTrumpFans.  So if you told me yep that overlaps completely with People Who Care About The Names Of Military Bases.  Either because they just happen to be the same people who care or they'll get into exactly whatever frenzy their leader wants them to. 
    But either way, huh?  I mean, whatever.  This is a thing I don't even care about!  He could win this political skirmish and I'd really not give much of a shit!  Which is the exception, not the rule, when it comes to reacting to Political Skirmishes!  I mean, I'd give around .33 of a Shit.  A little bit.  Thinking about naming America Military Base after Confederates.  I'd be approaching giving Half A Shit.   Anyway, what else is going on an crap.  I dunno why.  There being Public Monuments to Confederates, I give A Complete Shit About taking those down.  Army bases?  You've already lost me there, I guess that's the point I'm trying to make.  But, yeah.  I just don't see The Other Side taking the bait and engaging heavily on this issue.  But But BBut I wouldn't have thought I'd devote Multiple Paragraphs to it, and here we are.  I fell right into his trap!  Also this trap is named after Confederate Loser General.  I like Generals Who WON the Civil War.  Can't be the first person to come up with that turn of phrase, right?
What else is going on and crap and whatnot.  Its really illogical to name bases after the Confederacy.  I'll give you that.  But WAR IS ILLOGICAL TEAR IT ALL DOWN MAKE FUCK NOT KILLWhat else is going on.  I'm just waiting for the day where Trump declares on twitter ITS AN NATIONAL EMERGENCY I NEED TO MAKE A B.M.!!!  Sounds about right for the next public debate.  Is Trump right to announce his bowel movements to the country?  Personally I'm glad.  I appreciate the warning so now I'm prepared to Avoid His Vicinity and The Vicinity Around White House Bunker Bathroom for the next few hours.  Also, ones gotta imagine that Trump is spending all his time in Bunker these days, right?  We don't know cause he just goes inside and then he goes down to the bunker.  I'd do that!  I've talked before about how cool I think basements are.  A bunker?  That's just a sweet underground man cave!  Is that an argument Trumpers was making over Twitter 2 weeks ago.  HELL EYAH TRUMP IS IN THE BUNKER ITS THE COOOOOOLEST IN THE BUNKER HES GOT BUMPER POOL AND EVERYTHING.
I guess.  2 Bunker references--  Is the Bunker like his batcave?  Hmm wonder if Man Cave was 100% inspired by Batman Comics and his, "Bat Cave."  2nd Bunker reference--  Tales from the crypt.  Maybe the only place Trump feels comfortable Reading is in his bunker because he's free of all judgment that he reads at a 3rd grade level.  He knows how to pronounce Almost All The Words but it just takes some time for him let him practice in his fortress of solitude.  What Super Hero/Villain does Trump most identify with.  I pose that question to you!  I'd pose it to him but I don't think he reads this!  So you're the next best thing, at least someone's answering me is the point!
    If Black Votes don't matter, you'll Never be able to say Black Lives Matter to our Democratic Republic.  That's MY hot take.  Now that I think about it, I give a solid 4/5ths of a shit about Confederate American Army Base Names.  No higher than that!  I'm pot committed to giving <1 shit, that was my stance initially, and that's a hill I'm willing to die on!  Which I believe is a Battle of Shaker Heights reference.  Which was one of the movies from the Project Greenlight: Before It Was On HBO franchise.  The first one was a Horror movie with Judah Friedlander.  The second one was Battle of Shaker Heights with Shia Labeouf which you would actually see on cable now and then, at least
 a year ago!  That's the  closest I could come to using the Greater Than or Equal To Symbol In The Same Color Scheme As This Website! 



This Title I Just Wrote

    I guess.  Another Entry 67% done!  My Dad is taking an Online Course teaching Teachers how to Teach Online Courses so he's busy at that the last few days.  And it's not Pass/Fail for some reason.  He ultimately gets a grade out of 100.  But the point is Learning is Elemental to our experience as Humanity and everyone deserves a Pass/Fail at being Human.  Also, screw your, "Deplorable," or, "10-15% are bad," controversies-- I am Greater Than Or Equal To 67% Sure I can Pass or Even FAIL certain people at being Human.  Remotely, if I have to!  If not me, who?  If not now, when?  If not my Dad, uh...  The point is My Dad is coming in 4th place in the class.  That's how its graded I guess.  Not out of 100.  Just Ranking All Class Participants.  Ones gotta imagine there's 2 dozen students in this class.  My dad running a solid 4th place.   
    Anyway.  We all know Gold Silver Bronze.  Is there a consensus on what a Celebration Of Fourth Place would be?  LMLTURQ...  NOT REALLY ANYTHING.  In Olympics, where the Gold/Silver/Bronze Ranking System presumably originated, there's a, "Sportsmanship," medal they've given out 17 times over the years.  Not a metal.  Also Medal Metal yea I get it the medal is made out of metal.  Oh, but, right, I was talking about something.  That Sportsmanship award isn't even a Metal/Medal.  Anyway its about time Fourth Placers get their due!  I dunno, what else is going on in the wide world of crap.
    Also, if you come in last place in the Olympics, they dump Nickelodeon Slime on you.  Which has its own name.  I forget what its called.  Sludge?  Nope.  GAK.  There we go.  Ugh I feel dirty just writing that word.  And briefly Pronouncing It in my had.  So if you come in last at the Olympics they publicly humiliate you.  Otherwise how would they discourage people from Failing At Sports?  Also when you play with your At-Home-Gak it makes Fart Sounds.  Just poke it hard and condense it with your fingers or hands or firsts.  It'll make a fart sound don't think that it won't!  Not sure if that's a Feature or a Bug.  Was it designed to make fart sounds?  Or is it jut a happy coincidence.  No way of knowing unless we get the Scientist Who Created GAK: The 1990's Nickelodeon Slime on the phone.
    Hey penultimate paragraph!  I know there's a lot of worry that if Trump loses in November he won't relinquish power peacefully.  But what if we just have prepared a Silver Medal to hand to him, would that help cool things down a bit?  I know I'd rather cover him in Slime too but we've got to COMPROMISE in politics.  I dunno.  I guess the compromise would be Bronze Medal.  It's a compromise between Silver and with Slime.  Give him a Bronze Medal for losing the election and we all move on with our lives.  Ugh.  Almost done with the entry at this point.  Its gonna be weird, even if he peacefully relinquishes power, when Trump still Tweets Every Day with the premise that He Continue To Be The Main Story Every Day.  Cause he's just gonna keep trying to put himself into everything.  And every day it gets more and more awkward as we all want to move on and he doesn't want to.  Real weird vibes.
    Last paragraph.  Real almost done with entry vibes.  Dunno what Lunch/Dinner is for tonight.  Already almost time for a Normal Dinner.  So maybe I just Have 1 Legit All Out Meal.  Seems to make sense to me.  Gotta wipe down some Groceries today.  Cause tomorrow I'm getting reinforcements of More Groceries.  And if I don't wipe down All The Groceries I Already Have then tehre's no room to put the New Groceries.  Hey, tomorrow is my 1/2 Birthday.  31.5?  Yeah that sounds about right.  So, great, I guess that's it!  I'll see ya later.

-4:50 P.M.



Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Talk About A Great Entry!

    Let's hope so!  Anyway, Hot Take Time-- I'm 110% not on board with Blow Pops.  The lollipops with Gum in the center.  How presumptious is that?  I know what you want after having some candy, YOU WANNA CHEW SOME GUM!  I've NEVER been like mmm just finished a nice fruit flavored lollipop... wish I had some Gum to wash that down with!  I don't see it!  Thumbs down.  Anyway what's going on in the wide world of sports.  Had Main Weekly Grocery Delivery Today.  There's a Main One, lately on Wednesdays, then there's a back-up one, that'll be on Fridays!  Sometimes from Brick & Motor Grocery Stores nearby, the other 50% from FreshDirect.  I think we should see some Freshdirectors once Hollywood is open back up again.  No more White Savoir movies!  Lets see some Black Savoir/White Villian movies.  Wha... black hero white villain... WHO THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO IDENTIFY WITH HERE?  The black hero.  OH I SEE THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.  But, in the end, isn't there a little bit of White Villain in all of us?
I dunno if I had a black friend I'd pose that question to him.  But isn't that the premise of One Way Of Watching Movies.  Oh, these characters are all parts of the Same Overall Thing.  That's what the movie Identity was about.  Spoiler Alert.  By which I mean --Alert-- that movie is a Spoiler.  It'll spoil your good day.  Not such a great movie.  I don't know if I've ever seen it.  I think I watched it all the way through once.  To the extent that I THINK I remember the actual ending which would be thusly spoiled.  Anyway what else is going on.  This is the Amanda Peet movie, right?  From I wanna say 2003?  Lemme look that up riht quick. Amanda Peet?  CHECK MARK.  2003?  CHECK MARK.  Movie that will spoil your day?  Nope solid 62% on Rotten Tomatoes!
    Glad we got all that covered.  Is it a spoiler in me remembering Amanda Peet in the movie and no one else?  Probably, I dunno!  What else is going on and crap.  So, yeah, right, got delivery this morning!  Went back to wakin' up at 8 AM to oversee the delivery process and then accept the deliveries into my home and then wiping down and putting away Fridge/Freezer stuff.  Then walked in a circle for an hour, then drank 4 cups of coffee over 2 hours and Hey Here We Are!  There's a Plot Point in an episode of Space Force where Steve Carrell has to jog around a room to exercise.  No spoilers, but that really resonated with me.  I might be able to run if I had a bigger room.  Hard to run with so many sharp corners in the room I'm stuck in.  Gotta settle for walking!
    Hey just put 2 and 2 together!!  Put soda away in Fridge over 3 hours ago?  That 2 liter sucker is ready for consumption!  Maybe not Fully Chilled but certainly a lot of progress over Room Temperature, ones gotta imagine!  Hmm, also have 1 cup of coffee left sittin' in the pot.  Which one do I fill.  Soda.  Coffee.  I can't do both what kinda guy you take me for?  Gonna go with coffee.  I made my choice ahd HERE I GO TO RE-ENACT THE CHOICE THAT I IMAGINED OH SO CAREFULLY IN MY HEAD. ...and im back.  Still workin' through that Fat Free Cream 4 Coffee.  Oxy Moron.  That's my hot take.  Anyway no Fresh Meals or anything.  Fridge, Freezer, and, "Pantry," stuff, but nothing that was Cooked Already and Must Be Consumed Over the Next Week.  Lunch today, I'm thinkin a sandwich, perhaps 1/2 turkey 1/2 salami, I'm thinkin Chicken Noodle Soup, and Maybe a handfull of Some Sort Of Salty Snack. I got Cheez-Its for some reason no one is really sure of, I can have like Twenty of those!
    I can do whatever I want!  As long as I have the supplies, the means to gather and cook them, and the mental will and fortitude will to put that process into motion and ultimately accomplishing all I have set out for myself!  Well, great, just great.  Fifth paragraph.  I got that going for me is the point!  WI don't wanna identify as a White Villain.  I don't care How Much This Movie Wants Me To Identify, I'M GONNA STICK WITH BEING THE HERO ALL THE TIME.  Unless the villain REALLY bears a resemblance to me, I mean, like REALLY, it's UNCANNY.  In such situations... sure, I'll hear ya out.  Did I spell bears wrong?  Beres.  That's not a way to spell it.  Must be, "Bears," right?  LMLTURQ...
Yep.  Also BAre is a thing just something else.


I've Said It Before, I'll Say It Again...

    Wait a second, the opposite of White Savoir isn't Black Savior/White Villain.  It's Black Savior/White Person Who Benefits From Black Savoir.  I'm on board with that storyline lets do it.  Reminds me of ALADDIN featuring Will Smith.  Wait Aladdin isn't White in that version.  Hmm...  Wait No now we're talking Magical Negro stories.  It has to be a REGULAR NON-MAGICAL Black Savior.  Like a Black Guy Who Teaches The White Guy stuff.  Often How To Be A Better White Man... that's the GreenCard premise, right?  Like I said I DON'T WANNA BE A HWHITE MAN.  How about it's just Black Savior teaches White Man How To Be Human.  I CNA.. Uh...  THAT SOUNDS ALRIGHT.
What else is going on.  Wait a second if we're saying White Savior movies are No Bueno, Black Savior movies... that's ultimately no bueno, too,, right?  I mean they should make a Dozen of 'em just to help even our collective film catalogues out, but then after the 12th one, NO MORE NO BUENO!  That sounds like a movie I'd see a dozen times.  There's certainly a dozen ways to go with it.  I'd watch each one a dozen times, too!  That's 144 viewings!  Imagine all those Ad Sales!  Anyway 12x12 everyone knows that's the highest multiplication everyone knows.  It's a Black & White Notebook premise!  HEY BLACK AND WHITE NOTEBOOK... uhh...  nevermind.  For a second I thought taht was something.
Cool!  Well, I'm clean outta coffee.  Had 4 or so cups.  Each cup is 2 cups Per The Coffee Machines' Estimations.  The point is Next I Get To Drink Soda.  I already had some oranged juice earlier today.  No foolin'! Alright mmm got some coca cola zero.  Also mmm this Chair I sit on, at my desk-type thing, I've been using at A Lower Setting.  Usually have the seat High Up As It Can Be!  Last day or two?  I adjust that sucker so now I'm sitting lower to the ground.  Might seem like not a good thing, but I like it!  TThe higher up you are the more Respect you demand from the inatimate objects in your room.  They have to use their third (first?) eyes to LOOK UP at you.  Now I'm lower to the ground but its been very freeing I feel more connected with The Floor And Everything That Goes With It!
I'm just a kid sittin' on the floor playin' around.  That's the point.  I'm not some... Guy... SITTING ON HIS HIGH CHAIR...  Wait that's what babies do.  So I've graduated from being a baby at his high chair to being a toddler playing on the floor. ALRIGHT CHECk ME OUT!  I could go even lower.  Right now I'm about halfway between As High and As Low as possible.  Compromise!  Also I'm already seeing Biden not goin Full Speed Ahead on Police reform.  All I had to read was the headline.  Saw the phrase Root Out (racism, presumably...) and that was enough for me to Check Out.  Oh well what can ya do.  Not much.  We're pot committed to this guy at this point!
    Such is life.  With the premise of Root Out being that Racism is the exception, not the rule.  In case you're not as SMART and CLEVER as I am!  In which case get off my website this is for smarties only!  What else is going on and crap.  Also if you are as smart as me, you gotta imagine that Biden assumes we're smart enough to get it, so its not just him misspeaking or trying to comfort police/police unions-- nope, this is what he's saying on purpose.  Words matter, actions matter.  And those words are very concerning to me!  Almost so concerning I read the article?  NOT QUITE but GETTING THERE!



Think About It

    Let's hope so!  I've been thinking about it and I may start making Later Lunches and Later Dinners Not the exception, but the rule!  That's no set-up to a laugh-em-up referencing me talking about Biden's, "Root Out," SNAFU, just me keeping you updated on my Daily Meals.  What else is going on and crap.  Also later in the headline he talks about wanting to give black folks a chance to get ahead.  Yes, black Folks need more chances to get ahead, but for now more importantly they need to Start Out At The Same Place As White People Even Before Getting Ahead.  That's my hot take on Joe Biden Op Ed Headlines!
Anyway, this'll probably be the last section of today's entry.  What else is going on and crap.  We're talkin' lunches as late as 4 PM.  Dinners coming in around 9 PM.  I like staying up Late.  We're talkin' not falling asleep until Fcking 11 PM, after being in bed for an hour and a half.  We're goin Crazy Here In My Not-Big-Enough-For-Running Room & CrapShackTM!  So, great, what do I got in store for the rest of the day?  We're talkin' maybe some Fully-Obscure Horror Movies.  We're talking some Interventions possibly.  My Mom said to me yesterday, you've been watching a lot of... and I was like WHAT WHAT DOES SHE KNOW and she went ... Interventions and I was like FINE GOOD THAT'S FINE YES I HAEV BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF INTERVENTINOS.  Cause she's on the same Hulu.
    Constantino Martinez. 
Its no secret that Tino Martinez was very consistent presence in the Yankees of Late 1990's Fame.   Both at First Base On The Diamond, and as Roughly #5 or 6 I Wanna Say In The Lineup?  Paul O Neil was probably #5.  Constantino must have been #6, then!  Wait maybe Tino was CLEAN UP, is that possible?  LMLTURQ  Also it was His Real Name.  Seems like that should be proof of God enough, right?  I GROW TIRED OF BROWSING BASEBALL-REFERENCE.COM what else is going on and crap.  There was one year Constantino was a legit clean up hitter, but ONLY ONE I BELIEVE!!!  Ill look that up right quick, I don't mind, pretty straightforward, just look at One Man's Batting Statistics...  YEP A LOT OF GOOD NUMBERS VERY SOLID CAREER BUT ONLY ONE SEASON WITH MORE THAN 34 HOMERS, AND ONLY CRACKING 30 HOMERUNS ANOTHER 2 TIMES... NO CLEANUP HITTER IS HE NO BUENO.
I'm glad that we Rooted Out all the systemic Not-Caring-About-Website....People... what else is going on.  I dunno.  I think I should have every possibility to get ahead!  i dunno if those two comments are acting in tandem in this SimileSituation and frankly I don't care to find out!  Well if you just told me I'd care.  I don't care enough to Think About It Myself.  Sounds like a lot of hard work, that's my impression.  What else is going on and crap.  I think Similes get the short end of the stick.  We talk about metaphors all the time.  Hardly ever do oyou hear about similes.  WE NEED TO BE MAKING OUR METAPHORS MORE EXPLICIT IS THE POINT C'MON GUYS.
    Alright!  Last paragraph!  I have a pain around the left side of my BellyTorso.  POSSIBLY where the liver is.  LMLTURQ.  Liver is on The Right.  Stomach is on the left.  Hopefully.  I may have my organs reversed I dunno I've never had it explicitly checked out!  I think it was very interesting when Tino Martinez was on the Mariners because he shared a lineup with Edgar Martinez and I think they even often batted back-to-back.  Edgar Martinez is a On-Base-Heavy Clean Up Hitter and Tino Martinez is a Great Solid #5 hitter. 
    Also Tino Martinez happened to be the unifing aspect of my First 2 Favorite Teams.  Early-Mid 90's?  Without explicitly thinking it, my favorite team was the Seattle Mariners because I played Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball on The SNES where For The First Year Ken Griffey Jr was the ONLY licensed person.  Everyone else was a clear rip off of a real player, across the rest of the 28 (?) teams at the time-- but everyone else had a made up name.  Anyway then I started liking the Yankees in real life when I became Aware Of Real Baseball before changing to The Mets roughly 1998-1999.  Glad we covered all that.
Anyway 17th paragraph!  Let's finish this up in style.  Doesn't get much more stylish than SEVENTEEN.  It just LOOKS cool.  Either as, "17," or as, "Seventeen."  Reminds me of a magazine.  Oh, right.  Baseball America.  Well, great, just great.  Oh, right.  Something's wrong with one of my internal organs.  Well, that's bound to happen now and then.  One can only assume it'll either go away, or, it won't!  I've narrowed it down to those two things.  I believe the Mariners of ~1993-1996 also had two CORAS.  Jimmy Cora and, I wanna say... Alex Cora.  LMLTURQ...  JOEY CORA is one and ALEX CORA is.. SOME OTHER GUY... WHO NEVER PLAYED FOR THE MARINERS... THEY'RE BROTHERS... where'd I get a 2nd Cora from...  I'll keep you updated on this situation as it progresses.

-3:11 P.M.


Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Get Some Words Goin

    Anyway, I was talkin' to my Mom about how I don't wanna have to Identify As Being White, so I guess I identify as Jewish, and she was like I identify as human.  And I was like, right, but say you can't.  And she's like but I do.  And I was like, yeah but if you couldn't.  And she's like but I do.  And I'm like yeah but you still benefit from looking white, not just how You feel, its how others see you.  And she's like right but you asked me how I identify.  Human.  And I was like hmm why didn't I think of that.  I dunno.  Culturally, Jewish is pretty good, lots of good Jew Culture Stuff, but Human?  Hard to argue with Being Human.  I identify as a good and considerate Son.  Who Takes Mother's Words To Heart!  In other words Psycho.


This Entry Is Not Guaranteed To Be The Tops

    I was mucking around watching TubiTVTM yesterday, and I ended up watching Random Old Johnny Carsons for a couple of hours.  Not a, "Best ofs," not a, "This particular episode is notable for some reason."  And anyway It's Fine but there's just so much empty space.  Every, interview, but also monologues and bits, there's so much more room To Breathe.  By about a magnitude of 20!  That means x20 As Much, right?  To say, "A Magnitude of..."  Lemme look that up right quick.  I dunno I might have just made that up at some point. Yes we all know Magnitude is a measurement of How Much, but I could swear I've heard it used mathematically like by a Magnitude of Ten.  And that means whatever TIMES ten!  If not then It Should Be.  I'll look this up Right Quick AGAIN because I feel like I'm right.  OH RIGHT I WAS WRONG BUT ALSO CLOSE TO BEING RIGHT.  It's like To The Power Of.  Not multiplication, Exponential.  I think.  Alright we settled that now Hiyoooooo!
So of course after watching Johnny Carsons I listened to Weird Al's tribute to Ed McMahon Here's Johnny.  And of course since one of the guests on one of the episodes was an older Lucile Ball I listened to Weird Al's tribute to Lucille Ball's TV Show Ricky.  And And then I realized ya know FOOD and TV.  Every other Weird Al song is either Food or TV.  We know Food, there's that story of either Kurt Cobain or Eminem or Both, I forget, they were like yea you can make a parody song but Just Not Food Based Please.  So if it was Eminem, Weird Al made it TV based, and presumably at some moment years later Eminem has an epiphany and is like FUCK I SHOULD HAVE SAID NOT TV BASED EITHER!!!!  Dammit!  Sounds like Eminem's inner monologue to me!
    If Weird Al ran for office he'd win in a landslide.  Particularly if he was running during the Geological Event of a Landslide. Ugh.  If he's a Congressman that means from now on he has to go by Weird Al Congressman.  I don't get that... it feels right, but I don't get it.  Yankovic isn't a noun or description of who he is.  It's just his last name.  But there's something to this that I haven't figured out yet.  Anyway.  I can't jump to larger conclusions about Johnny Carsons based on the specific interviewees I've seen.  OR CAN I.  I saw Lucille Ball.  Saw a Jack Benny.  Saw an Swedish Or So Lady Singer whom Time Has Forgot.  Saw a Joe Nameth (Flirted Extensively with Presumably Swedish Lady Singer).  Good stuff! 
    Great, just great.  What else is going on in the wide world of sports.  Saw a guy sit in for Ed McMahon but dunno who it was.  I can't pay attention to every little detail!  I'm Joe Nameth.  My Car Broke Down.  Youtube That w/ The Simpsons.  Well, you don't have to.  I SURE AM, THOUGH!  RIGHT NOW LETS GO. 
https://comb.io/s63d7S  Wonderful.  Its also interesting to watch Johnny Carsons because presumably writing for a Late Night Comedy Show is more or less my Generic Dream Job.  Not necessarily what I'm actively pining for, but sort of the Base Dream in the background.  Anyway.  Really going, "All In," on watching Tales From The Crypt This Pandemic.  Cycled Right Back Around To The Start!  I'll be back with some more entry in a bit. 


The Day After Yesterday

    Yep checks out.  Also, watching Johnny Carsons, I think I got a little bit moe of an idea how even Ideal Jobs can probably get tiresome and soul crushing and make you look forward to your inevitable demise.  Just seeing The Show Breathe, you kinda get a look behind the curtain a bit.  That's my opinion!  Cause what else can you look forward to.  You like comedy and jokes?  Like writing jokes?  Okay you're writing for Johnny Carson.  Enjoy that while it lasts!  Which is YOUR LIFE IF YOU'RE LUCKY!  The point is thank god I'm unemployed even though I don't qualify for Unemployment Checks.  Also the premise of being an Unemployed Adult is that I have no current plan or promise but also in the background its like well this can't Be IT, right?  Gotta mix things up at some point.  You know-- so I Can Live?
Jokes are a fountain of youth.  They will make you feel young again!  Presumably!  Also why are these fountains age-segregated.  You're an old person, go ahead, you have every right to that PUBLICLY FUNDED fountain.  Maybe the fountain is privately funded, I dunno.  Even still-- AGAINST THE LAW!!  You can't segregate EVEN PRIVATELY anymore as per my understanding.  Hey if you wanna go around saying it's 1968, I'm gonna go around acting surprised at the relatively recent events of De-Segregation.  Also can you believe this Kennedy Assassination?  I know its been four or five years But I Just Can't Get Over It!  I think the struggle to compare Current to Past Times is funny.  From my perspective at least, its just people going I dunno What To Make Of This, or, as importantly, What To Do.  Maybe History Has An Answer!  Or just go with your gut, if you're a good guy or gal, your gut will steer ya right!  Eventually!
    Anyway.  Made some Penne & Meatballs & Pasta Sauce last night-- just as predicted.  I ate roughly 1/3rd of what was cooked-- not explicitly predicted but what I was picturing in my Heart of Hearts.  Some penne left over for today-- kinda saw that one coming as well.  Still some meatballs Frozen In Freezer, I can cook one of those suckers up to pair with this penne.  The point is I just updated you Almost Completely on Meals Of The Last 22 hours.  Also I had a nice piece of Chocolate & Banana Pound Cake for Breakfast.  Real Nice Enjoyable breakfast.  Nutritious, too!  It's like having a muffin get off my back about it.  You know, muffins, known far and wide for their nutritional value. 
    Cool!  Also now is not a time to look at the past NOW IS THE TIME TO LOOK TOWARDS THE FUTURE.  #WeirdAlKrnblm2020.  I thought that was pretty good, right?  What else is going on and crap.  Also, in this scenario, have I adopted the moniker of Weird Al Yankovic to fit my own name-- has he overtaken me, not unlike Venom to Spiderman, and now He Is Weird Al Krnblm-- or is there a 3rd option where its something entirely new, partially or completely independent of both myself and Weird Al.  My guess is the 1st one.  Oh great what else ya got going on.  How come I went with a Kennedy Assassination Reference instead of staying with the theme of 1960's Racial Progress.  Also, Self Racism Alert-- I've been conceptualizing the it's 1968 idea by being like, "Then There Was Racial Unrest.  Now is also a time of racial unrest."  Maybe we should replace Unrest with Progress.  What's notable about Right Now is not Racial Unrest.  It's the Promise of Racial Progress.  Get it right Weird Al Congressmen.
    That'll show 'em!
  Show Who What.  I dunno.  Everyone.  Everything.  Sounds about right.  Gettin to the mid afternoon.  Around this time, if I haven't had lunch yet, and am not Actively Hungry, I start thinkin, well maybe just skip Lunch.  Fascinating.  TubiTVTM
has a lot of underfunded, not well produced even with whatever funds they had, Horror movies.  NOW YOU'RE TALKIN' MY LANGUAGE.  Makes sense to define My Quarantine with Tales From The Crypt-- being stuck inside A Crypt Of My Own Making-- but no reason I can't supplement that with also other Horror Movies.  Because what we do in life needs to fit into tight little stories, maybe ones that you can tell to a Conan O Brian over 60-90 seconds. This isn't 1968 where we can tell a story over 6 minutes to Johnny Carson!  THIS IS 2018.. wait, hold on, lemme check that right quick... THIS IS 2020...


I Must Be Very Busy

    So claims My Dad.  We got Delivery tomorrow, so he asks me, you finalize your order.  I go nope.   You You do a second thing I forget?  I go nope.    You must be very busy.  Yup! *I'm the one who forgot the second thing, not my Dad saying it in conversation.  So the point is Great Lets write the last section of the entry.  Had A Pop Tart.  That's the compromise I made with myself.  Big for a snack, small for a lunch.  Pop Tarts: For When You're Sort Of Hungry And Hey Might As Well Eat Some Sweet!  Whatta do with the rest of the day.  Oh.  I need to make some call to re-fill a medication.  THat was the 2nd thing.  Glad we got that covered.
    Anyway.  Looks like Mom is walking back her COMMITMENT to start getting Deliveries for Meals.  Fuck I knew I should have gotten that in writing.  Its hard though because I don't live with a notary public in the first place.  Also, I'm seeing these long lines for voting in heavily Democratic areas in Atlanta for voting today-- THIS IS NOT-ARE-PUBLIC!  What's a Republic.  I know Democracy.  I know Democratic Republic.  What's Just A Republic.  Lemme look that up right quick.  Republic is when you're Represented by Equal People.  Democracy is when everyone has a vote.  Democratic Republic is when everyone votes for the people to represent them and whom shall be equally powerful.  Sounds like a Scam I think we should just be a Democracy.  So every single thing is decided by popular vote?  Yeah lets do that.  Ok it'll take some time to process the logistics of the change but Sure I Don't See Why Not!
Wonderful.  Since it was my idea, I insist I decide the first thing to be voted on.  And then, after me, its decided At Random who gets to introduce The Next Thing.  Alright, hmm.  Gotta come up with something good.  I wish for A MILLION WISHES!!!!  Wait that's no good.  Alright, gotta come up with something good...  Hmm.  Can you come back to me?--  ALIGHT YOU HEARD THE MAN SHOULD WE VOTE TO COME BACK TO HIM? ...votes are submitted, tallied,... ... ...ALRIGHT THE RESULTS ARE IN WITH A WHOPPING 94% OF THE VOTE AMERICA HAS DECIDED NOT TO COME BACK TO ME.  Oh well what can ya do, that's Democracy in action!
  Anyway.  I'll see ya later.

-3:21 P.M.



Monday, June 8, 2020

Who The Hell Wants To Identify As White?

    Oh, right.  Those people.  Enough said, right?  Anyway, I guess my main Race-ist (MIND THE DASH) identity would be Jewish-Agnostic.  I also identify as short.  I identify as male.  I identify as about a 2 on the Richter Scale.  Hah.  Richter scale.  Makes sense to me.  I often identify as Crazy, sometimes identify as The Uppers.  Isn't that enough?  Please don't make me just identify myself as White!  Anyway, I got all that going on is the point.  I'd say I identify as Progressive, but Political Leanings, I don't feel Identity with that, as I do the other things.  It's just how I feel and think about things.  Hey check out this guy He's Progressive.  At least I hope not.  I dunno it wouldn't be so bad.  But the point is NOPE I'M NOT GONNA IDENTIFY AS WHITE.
    Cool!  I figure I got some coffee in my system so this entry'll be off the hook!  I'm bending my own rules a bit saying I identify as Crazy and The Uppers.  But for the last several years It's Kinda True.  Also you can't have One without the other.  I can't identify as being The Uppers without Being Crazy.  And I can't Be Crazy without identifying as The Uppers.  It's a strange condition and presumably it will go away at some point in my life when I become An Adult, but for now let's stick with it!  Workin' out okay, right?  Anyway do I have to be the guy who starts the Save The Date! Protest?  Because I'll do it.  Don't think I won't do it!  Alright I won't do it.  Not Crazy or Upperish enough at this point in y life.
    Also I can't make a FACEBOOK EVENT I don't have Facebook.  And I don't see how you can plan social future events without Facebook.  That's why old people are the target audience now for Facebook.  They love planning social future events.  Like meeting each other in the afterlife.  That's pretty much all they got going on Facebook Event Wise.  I guess that's another Save The Date! type thing.  An I'll see you IN HELL type of thing.  Are Evil people who Identify as Christian-- and really believe it to some extent-- are they like yeah I'm gonna go to hell but What Can Ya Do.  My guess?  Probably.  Seems Very Dumb, though.  If you could avoid an eternity in Hell wouldn't you be like well I got 10 or 20 years left (MOST EVIL CHRISTIANS ARE OLDER BY THE TIME THEIR EVIL HAS MATURED FULLY) but I'd rather continue being evil and living a lifestyle I've grown accustomed and comfortable with.  I dunno, maybe!
    Also what percent of Rock Bands who talk about Hell and Whatnot are actually on board with it.  I mean, AC/DC, Highway To Hell, I think its just For Fun.  They're actually pretty Upbeat and Not-Evil-Pretty-Regular-Good-Folks-People.  That's my hot take on AC/DC!  But I guess, for this premise, they're not the go-to reference.  Just in terms of bands I listen to regularly, they're pretty much the closest I get to Satan Worshipping Bands.  I think its mostly just for fun.  But what do I know?  Not a lot.  That's why I'm Me and You're Evil.  Hmm, sounds about right to me.  Anyway, jeez.  Looks like first Phase Out from Quarantine we're gonna experience in my CrapShack is resuming getting Food Delivered!  Doesn't seem right.  Seems like a dream.  Too good to be true.  I'm very suspicious!
    Oh well what can ya do.  Fifth paragraph!  Figure I'm gonna have that sandwich I've been promising myself for several days.  A turkey-salami Combo.  Pair that shit with some Soup Probably Beef Barley.  Now we're talkin'!  Well, I am.  You probably aren't.  Also, I'd say AC/DC might be my favorite rock band.  It's not the band I listen to the most. It's not the band I think has the best songs.  I just think They're The Top Rock Band.  Get off my back about it!  It's also one of the 8-10 Band Memoir that I've read in my past.  Did you know they're from AUSTRALIA?  True Story!  Also Check This THEIR LEAD SINGER DIED AND THEY REPLACED HIM WITH A DIFFERENT GUY!  Also they're the tops according to The, "Crazy," Uppers.  That guy whose me right now.  Wonderful!


What Else You Got

    Anyway, lets burn through a few things I wrote down over the last two days-- (1) Black Lives Mitter.  (2) WOW LOOK AT THOSE AERIAL VIEWS OF HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS PEOPLE PROTESTING!  I CAN'T BELIEVE... I HAD NO IDEA SO MANY PEOPLE HATE OUR FLAG!!!  (3) Why is Bubble Gum an independent flavor, and why is it bad?  Alright lets continue with that thought.  First of all, I think there's a distinction between Just Chewing Gum and Bubble Gum.  You can blow bubbles with Just Chewing Gum but not as well.  But then they also made Bubble Gum a flavor Which Why and also I'm not on board with the flavor further begging the question Why?
    Cool.  If I Stylize my name as KrnBlm suddenly I'm a Great Black Lives Matter Supporter!  I can, "Dig," that!  Uh oh I'm a, "Karen BLM," which is a MemeThing.  Just my luck and whatnot.  It's a good thing I Do have 2 extra letters in my name and there's a lot of different Abbreviations you can make with that sequence of letters.  No reason to get hung up on just one interpretation!  Black Lives U  Matter.  Hmm...  Ultimately?  That's no good.  Understandably?  Nope not on board with that one. Universally!  That's a good one lets hold onto that one.  How about just Black Lives, You Matter.  They already know that, they don't need me telling them they matter!  I'll get back to this later.
What else is going on and crap.  Looks like there'a a good chance we're makin' some Penne & Meatballs & Tomato-Based Sauce tonight.  That's a lot of Standing Up watching a Pot Not Boil and then after a while watching a Pot Start Boiling But It Still Takes A Long Time To Boil Enough and then Stirrin' Around Some Penne In A Boiling Water.  Then ya gotta eat it and that involves using your hands, fingers, and silverware, and now THAT'S a whole thing.  Does the work never end?  What else.  Next Grocery Delivery is Wednesday.  Still gotta request Absentee Ballot for Primary and I am running low on time for that.  I should do it on account of it taking 30 seconds.  I also gotta renew my ID because my old one is expired.  And if I don't do it soon, when I do renew it, I'll have to go in to the DMV and everything.  I think on my ID it says white.  I don't remember giving the, "OK," for that!  How dare them.
    The point is Great What Else.  I don't get why Eye Color is on IDs either.  Have they never heard of Colored Contact Lenses?  Because I have!  To the extent I believe they are a thing and easy to purchase and use.  I'll look that up Right Quick.  Yup totally checks out they are a thing and you can get them even if you don't need to improve your vision!  Anyway family has 2 cars, both of them are out of order right now.  We're talkin' one of their battery's died on account of not starting it up for a long time.  We're talkin' the other one has a flat tire for some reason which my father never elaborated on.  We're talking yep that about covers it, 2 cars, 2 problems, just as I said.  Sure I just googled Flat Tire Practical Joke because I knew it was a thing where you step on someone or something and you're like Got Ya!
Turns out its when you step on the guy's Back Of His Shoe so it comes off a bit.  Kinda anti-climactic practical joke.  Not a lot of stakes to that.  Doesn't HURT them, which, if they're not feeling pain, why am I supposed to be laughing?  They'll just go, hey don't do that.  And then rest the ball of their foot into the shoe again and go on with their lives.  Anyway hey another 5th paragraph of a section another time to take a break.  Figure I'll have some Lunch with next section of entry. Watch some Intervention over the course of the next Break From Entry.  Then mentally prepare for the intense labor of Making Pasta Hot And Soft.  Be back in a bit!


I'm Okay With Being White On A Situational Basis

    Sounds like a good compromise to make, right?  I'm fine with that.  Anyway.  Oh, right, I was watching Space Force!  I like it!  It's funny and it makes ya think. And it makes ya feel good.  And also it kills time!  And it makes Tomorrow several hours closer than it was before the show.  Anyway, am just having lunch.  We're talkin Just Salami Sandwich and some Beef Barley.  Wonderful.  What else do I have in store for today.  Oh, right.  I benefit from being white even if I don't like being Just White.  Oh well gotta figure that advantage will be Close-Gapped-ed at some point over the next few centuries, right?  That'd be my guess!  Maybe even use this moment to address some of those things!  Maybe a lot of things!
    Anyway, 12th paragraph.  That's a fine number all things considered.  I like eating Soup but I HATE plopping the soup in the bowl and I MODERATELY DISLIKE waiting 5 minutes for it to heat up.  I feel very strongly about these stages of making Canned Soup!  Hmm my parents are planning on getting Diner Food within the next few days but I never explicitly asked if I could just start gettin' Any Ol' Thing On DoorDash.  I should ask my brother.  He gave my parents permission for us to get delivery!  Hes on top of the ball in regards to Loosening Pandemic Restrictions!  First thing I thought of from Diner was I'ma get some STEAK BOY YEAH GIMME SOME OF THAT.  Then second thing I thought of was DoorDashStuff I already told you!
Alright at least 1 more paragraph because now that I think about it 12 ISN'T a fine number all things considered.  I wasn't really considering All Things last paragraph.  I was only considering around 75-80% of things.  Anyway.  You can't just de-fund the police!!!  That's like if in the world series The Mets beat The Yankees and as a consequence got to De-fund The Yankees!  NO it's actually nothing like that.  Well sure it is.  If you wanna make sure the Yankees NEVER BEAT THE METS AGAIN as we SHOULD be guaranteeing in this sports-political environment.  Also Microsoft FrontPage doesn't have defund as a word.  That seems like a major oversight!  Hope someone lost their job over that one!
    Anyway.  What do you mean by Defund The Police?  Somethin along the lines of re-making it in a less violent, militarized, occupying-enemy-territory sort of way.  That's the impression This Guy With Two Thumbs Is Under!  Anyway I'm gonna be 100% with you right now, I like multiples of fives, but I also like the number 14.  It's got all the charm of 13 but Plus One More.  Also we SHOULD defund the Yankees isn't that the basis of the last decade of MLB/Team Economics.  Yankees had too much Money Advantage so they took some away and gave it to less fortunate teams to increase parity.  Not too much just a lil bit!  To make things more fair IT'S BASEBALL YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!!!
    Alright fuck it we made it to Multiples of Fives!  Car Horn going off behind my house.  A lot.  It won't stop!  Turns out its from the person who came to fix my Car's battery.  They Fuckin' Shit Up!  So we got that going for us is the point.  OH MAN THE PITCH OF THE HORN JUST CHANGED.  It was like a 3rd Lower.  Which I'm relatively certain is possibly a way to determine Note Changes.  Let's say it was at an E.  Now it tuned down to a B OR SOMETHING.  Then it stopped completely.  Scary.  Well that sums that up.  End of the entry!  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-2:57 P.M.


Sunday, June 7, 2020

From Now On-- Only Good Titles!!!!

    Here's a Hot Take-- When considering Tales From The Crypts, Horror & Sci-Fi-ish ones are always better than Mystery & Suspense ones. I mean, C'mon!  There's episodes where it's just like hey there was a MURDER which of these suspects did it!!  That's no tale from the crypt that tale could have easily come from a POLICE DEPARTMENT.  Tales from the Crypt Are SUPERNATURAL.  I feel very strongly about this.  There's also the genre where it's Primarily a Comedy Episode, although it always has one of those other 4 Genres as a secondary thing.  So I don't think its important to include Comedy TFTC in this scholarly discussion! 
    Anyway, the last season of Tales From Crypt was produced/mostly takes place in England.  And one episode was about some House Of Lords guy and he's got kids and one's like, to a lady, would you like me better if I had a Title.  Which I never put 2 and 2 together.  That in England having a Title is a real thing, not just some weird thing some website guy is obsessed about.  Really makes ya think.  Having a title, like  being a Lord or a Byron or Count or something.  Also instead of Blackula what if they just re-appropriated Count Chocula.  I guess.
Well, that really makes ya think!  Is this offensive?  I don't think so!  But is it?  Possibly!  Especially in the context of what's going on in the world right now.  To not talk explicitly about the Great Fighting Against Racism, but I do make a point to make a Black-Chocolate joke-- kinda looks bad!  So, great, you know how I feel!  I saw NYC lifted Curfew.  I never had Curfew as a kid.  Partially because I never went anywhere.  Well, I would sometimes go places.  But never in the sense that I KNOW WHAT YOU KIDS ARE DOING PAST 10 PM ITS ALL SHOOTING UP AND GAMBLING.  ...We just did the gambling.  My parents, as far as I know, had no suspicions I was Shooting Up.  But then again I never tested them.  Curfew Never Came Up!
    For some reason Gambling is in the same Sphere as Shooting Up?  I dunno, you figure that one out!  Maybe if you do a good job figuring it out I will Award You A Title.  I don't think Titles are Mine to Give.  I dunno.  Anyway.  On the one hand its kind of cool to see Neo-Con/relatively moderate/not-insane Republicans come out in support of Biden, but on the other hand, it kind of sets up the framing that Biden is the bridge between the Moderate Left and the Moderate (well, what's now moderate) Right.  I don't even want him on the Moderate Left!  If Republicans made attack ads against Trump and then ended it with Republicans Against Trump.  PS WE VOTE FOR BIDEN BUT WE EXPECT NOTHING BACK BIDEN'LL BE GOOD FOR DEMOCRATS WE PROMISE.  So, if only Colin Powell did that, that'd be Tops.
Anyway, great.  If there was pressure on Joe Biden to have an African American running mate before, I don't see how it's not exponentially greater now.  Which is good!  Probably a lady, that's cool!  Maybe a man, that's fine!  Maybe some sort of, uhhh, hmm.  Don't think there's any prominent African American Non-Binary Political People out there.  So I guess that about covers it.  AIs there a section of TransActivists who are Non-Binary but they're like WE ARE NON BINARY WE DON'T BELIEVE IN JUST MALE AND FEMALE NO We're TERTIARY!  Probably.  You hear Non-Binary and your fight thought is oh well that means there's unlimited, or you can't Define Gender At All, or whatever.  Maybe its just Nope THREE genders LEMME EXPLAIN...  Probably.  My guess is there's seven genders.  Can't wait to see how that turns out!
    Cool.  I'm glad that in biological gender, Males are XY chromosomes while Females are XX.  Hahaha got an extra letter you're just working with One Letter whatta snooze.  We got a, "Y," mmm  dig that.  Cause I'm an idiot.  Wouldn't it be Generationally Accurate to refer to Chinese Men My Age As Generation XY.  Because they're on the cusp between Generation X and Y.  And they are in a society where 60% of the people are Male because of, I wanna say abortion if the baby is gonna be female?  I don't think they kill female babies.  But wasn't that a thing?  So yeah Documentry About That, "Generation XY," get crackin'!  Looked this situation up on Wikipedia and I Dunno I May Have Some Of It Right and Some Of it Wrong.  Get crackin'!
    Cool.  Remember when Stephen Colbert was a spokesman for Pistachios.  It was a simpler time.  OH WAIT CHECK THIS OUT... "GENE RATION X Y" WTF TOO PERFECT!!!  It's times like this when you believe There May Be A God.  Probably not.  I believed it for 15 seconds, realized my mind was wandering, then came back down to Earth.  So, great, what else is going on.  Seventh paragraph.  I like this entry so far!  It's not great but it's Solidly Adequate in terms of Entertaining Myself.  I like those odds!  What else to say.  Wiped off some of the dust that was accumulating on my 8-Track recorder.  I purposely left it out on the table, but covered it up with just placing the Fabric-y Sleeve Jacket it fits in, just resting that on top of it, so that dust doesn't accumulate.  Doesn't work 100% because dust accumulated around the edges where the Sleeve Jacket didn't cover it!  I'll be back in a bit. 
    PS-- looks like Male/Female Birth Rate topped out at ~54.25%/45.75% in 2005.
  I looked it up right quick and now we're all the better for it!  PPS-- DO AFRICAN AMERICANS SEE COUNT CHOCULA AS A, "SELL OUT," TYPE CHARACTER?  OR LIKE A CHARACTER THAT'S WHITE PEOPLE'S STEREOTYPE OF AFRICAN AMERICAN COUNT VAMPIRES?  LIKE AN AUNT JAMIMIA OR AN UNCLE BEN?  PPPS-- Sorry, again!  I just find Humanizing Count Chocula to be bordering on amusing to myself!  He just HAPPENS to be black!  I just like the idea He's Real!  PPPPPS IS IT A THING WHERE NONBINARY PPL ARE LIKE there's EXACTLY ONE gender?


No One Cares About Your Breakfast Cereal!

    Great, thanks a lot.  Look the point is I Wish I Was Count Chocula is that so wrong?  Also, I've never had a Chocolate-Based Cereal.  I've barely even had Cereal.  Wait, no, that's inaccurate.  Just The First Comment.  Its possible I've had that Cookie Crunch Crisp cereal.  That name might be an approximation of 12 different cereals.  The The point is I've had 1 cereal when I was a kid, Not Often, that was a Cookie-based Cereal.  Presumably chocolate chip cookie, right?  That'd be the default, I assume.  Anyway.  I didn't have any food for breakfast today, but I had both coffee & Orange juice at the same time, wihch to me says Nice Fancy Breakfast.  Prove me wrong!  You can't!  Sipping Orange Juice then being like I Want Some Coffee and you sip some coffee and then maybe in an IDEAL world you also have Eggs and Some Sort of Toast and That's Enough But Maybe Even Some HASHED BROWNS OR HOMED FRIES?  The point is once Pandemic is done I'M GONNA ORDER SOME FANCY BREAKFASTS FROM DINERS.   Maybe even GO to the diner. 
    Wow!  Variety is the spice of life.  That's one of my go-to quotes that'll always be applicable to how I see things.  I didn't come up with it but I will Do Everything I Can To Get That Message Out There.  Variety Is The Spice Of Life!  Also just sounds funny to me, I dunno why.  Found 2/3rds of an American Indian Reservation Cigarette That's Actually A Cigar But Looks Like A Cigarette in One Of My Drawers.  And I didn't smoke it because I don't want to but I was like well if I WAS gonna SleepSmoke a cigarette, this'd probably be my only option.  Cause I don't want my Mom's Marlboro's EVEN IN MY SLEEP.  I think its fucked up that so many people protesting are gonna fuckin' get Pandemic.  And then some of them with get very sick and some will DIE for being heroes.  That's gotta bt the context that's given to this moment in history, though, right?  You see those Huge Crowds and its like AND THEY WERE LITERALLY RISKING THEIR LIVES NOT JUST FROM THE OBVIOUS SOURCE OF OUT OF CONTROL POLICE BUT FROM DISEASE AS WELL!!!!  So Good Job Protesters History Is Gonna Cream It's Jeans For Ya!  But also Please Don't Die. 
    Well, great.  Keep the pressure up!  Either from Protesting Or Some Other Sort Of Pressure That Can Be Applied.  Presumably there's safer ways to Keep Pressure Up?  I dunno maybe not protesting certainly seems to be working.  But then again DON'T DIE!  I don't have all the answers I have roughly 30% of the answers and most of those answers are to questions nobody is asking.  The point is No Food Breakfast Today?  I'ma Have Indulgent Breakfast Sandwich FOR LUNCH.  WAIT NO MAYBE I WANT A HEALTH SANDWICH.  We're talkin Turkey.  Or maybe Salami.  Or maybe 1/2 Turkey and 1/2 Salami.  A Nice Beefed Barleycorn Soup.  I got lots of good options is the point dontchu worry about me.
    Great, just great.  We'll Get Justice Yet!!!!!  That's what the producers of Fun Sized:The Major Motion Picture said while in the process of casting it.  Sure I watched a movie intended for people 10 years younger than me several years back.  I LIKE MOVIES!!!  Well great that's wonderful this is the 12th paragraph I don't believe it.  Stopped 1/2 way through a British Tales From The Crypt.  The one about Titles.  Yeeheeheeheehee!  Don't know why that CryptKeeperLaugh was warranted.  Not sure what its in response to.  Maybe you know.  E-mail me your answers @ prj@.coioj Hmm@l.com om . com.  I'll be back in a bit!



I Like My Breakfast Like I Like My Coffee

    There.  I did it!  Protested.  Hey how about this We All Set The Date For A PROTEST FIRST DAY EVERYONE AGREES ITS SAFE.  That sounds like it could be a thing?  A formal Planned Protest for a Date To Be Agreed Upon In The Future.  Great Idea Mike Lets Admit Its A Great Idea And Move On With Our Lives.  What else.  My Dad was getting his Blood Infusion this morning and was laid up on the couch watching Back To The Future all morning, as per my understanding from Hearing It when I went downstairs.  Weird thing, though.  First time I heard it was around ~10:30 AM.  I was just downstairs half an hour ago ~1:30 PM, and it was around the end of the 1st movie.  And I know for a fact he wasn't watching other stuff in between.  At some point he was watching Back To The Future and it Looped Back Around into the 1st one.  Only logical explanation.
    Last paragraph!  Dinner tonight may be some sort of pasta with meatballs.  I'd be okay with that.  I'd have to do most of the cooking but I can live with being an adult for half an hour later today.  Anyway, if you can, if you wanna risk it, go protest!  We thought crowds yesterday was big?  I Say We Can Do Better!  Except not We.  You!  And only if you wanna risk it!  If you don't Hey We Did That Paragraph Together I Know Your Hearts In The Right Place!  Anyway.  No more will Floyd be associated with Cliff Floyd, Baseball Player who was briefly on The Mets.  Now it will be George Floyd!  Gotta imagine that's what they'll be calling these protests, right?  George Floyd protests?  OH Black Lives Matter Protests.  That makes a lot of sense.  But you can protest for whatever reason you want!  Me thinks dow can't Protest Too Much!  I'll see ya later!

-2:04 P.M. 


Saturday, June 6, 2020


    Well, most of the day.  Anyway, got some Good Gum from yesterday's delivery. Peppermint!  Chew on that for a while!  Yeeheeeheeeheeheee!  If I wanted to, I could increase the unemployment rate like (Emoji of fingers snapping).. *(Does that emoji exist?  If not, lets face it GREAT IDEA for an moji).  Anyway all I have to do is Start Looking For Work, right?  And be unable to find any, of course.  Per my understanding.  Lemme look that up right quick see if I'm right.  Yep!  If someone don't have a job, they're looking for work in the last 4 weeks, and are currently able to work-- That Suckers Unemployed!  Seems like looking for work is kinda abstract and open-ended.  I mean I wouldn't MIND work.  If a great opportunity fell in my lap Sure I'd Take It.  How hard do I have to be looking is the point?  Also am I Able to work? Well that all depends on th work! 
    The point is I wield so much power in my hands.  I could change the unemployment rate from 14.000000000000% (or whatever it is) to 14.000000000000000005.  NOW LET THE POLITIC CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY!  That's the main way to react to Unemployment rate dropping from ~14 to ~13%.  Hey one out of every 100 persons looking for work are getting work again!  Good for them is the point but also doesn't effect ME.  Unless they're working at Restaurants WHICH IS THE MAIN FIELD EMPLOYMENT HAS INCREASED and Quarantine Ends and I GET DELIVERIES AGAIN which SEEMS UNLIKELY AT THIS POINT kinda seems like THEY'RE GONNA BE LAID OFF AGAIN IN A FEW WEEKS when PANDEMIC STARTS INCREASING UP AGAIN.  Also when are we gonna find out about those Secret Well Armed And Equipped Police in DC?  Not only is it scary and fascistic as hell I'm just genuinely curious Jerry Seinfeld who ARE these people?
    Dang.  It's not that easy to count as unemployed.  Government can easily argue that I'm Not Able To Work as I'm receiving Social Security Benefits for Disability (Mental Illness!)  They gotta pretty strong case, I admit.  I can't get Disability Benefits AND unemployment checks!  I mean I SHOULD because That Would Be GREAT but oh well.  What else is going on and crap.  That would be a good way to Go About Reparations.  Monthly Social Securityish Check.  Here's your 1.3 K for the month Stay Great!  OOr you could do the Lotto Way and be like YOU CAN CHOOSE THE LUMP SUM WHICH IS LESS THAN 50% OF THE YEARLY PAYOUT OR MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO PLAY IT SAFE WHAT DO YOU DO, WHAT. DO. Y!O!U!. DO?  Sounds about right for America.  What would be an appropriate 1 time Lump Sum payout to All African Americans.  And how do we go about the messy work of deciding Who Is African American Enough.  That sounds like a nightmare to touch but hey its for a good cause! 
    Yeesh.  For the record I'm Pro Reparations.  Not just using it to make some laugh em ups!  I think we should also do it for American Indians, though.  Why Not Lets Get Them In On This Action!  THAT'S IT THOUGH.  Maybe descendents of Japanese Interment Camps.  You know, that sort of thing.  Then again-- there is a difference.  Part of the premise of Reparations, at least in one form of thinking about it, is we exploited African American's ancestors for our economy, and now we're just Payin' It Back.  Although you can make a similar argument for Natives.  We didn't exploit their labor but we Took All Their Real Estate!  Without That our economy wouldn't be so great. Anyway.  Another good way to think about Reparations is to even out the systemic hardship inflicted on African Americans Economically.  Lots of good reasons for Reparations!  Also to REPAIR OUR COUNTRY'S SOUL (or, create it).  That's a good one, too! 
    OUR COUNTRY HAS A SOUL ITS A LIGHT THAT LIVES NEAR THE SMALL INTESTINES.  That was the plot of a Tales From The Crypt I watched earlier!  But, Not Countries, People.  Also Hank Azaria was implicated in this scheme to Kill People And Steal Their Souls.  That's right-- Mr. April 25th or so.  What was his birthday?  APRIL 25TH NAILED IT.  Something we'll never forget.  HEY DID U KNO SMALL INTESTINES WAY MORE LARGE THAN LARGE INTESTINES.  HOPE SOMEONE LOST THEIR JOB OVER THAT ONE LOL.  Anyway I was making a point that people outside of Boston shouldn't support Boston Sport Teams because They Don't Care About You They Care About Boston.  Then I realized one of the two biggest Boston Sports Teams is called The NEW ENGLAND Patriots.  So, mea culpa, I was wrong, it happens often!  Sue I know Latin.  I know THAT... I know the word LATIN....  I'll be back in a bit.


I'll Have Whatever Kind Of Lunch I Want THANK YOU

    Maybe same lunch as yesterday, sounds about right.  We're talkin Salmon Fillet.  We're talkin' Potato Spheres.  We're talkin' Coca Cola Zero.  We're talkin SOME SORT OF MINIATURE ROLL.  I was thinking about having a bagel, but we don't have enough of those to go around!  And I'm glad!  Because I wasn't even thinking about Salmon Lunch before bagel.  But once bagel was out of the picture, salmon lunch occurred to me, and now I want it Even More than I initially wanted bagel lunch.  How can you give reparations to Natives who didn't Comprehend the concept of owning land.  ONE-- I'm gonna look it up, but now that I think of it, that thing we're always taught Natives Couldn't Understand Signing Away Their Land! IS PROBABLY SOME WHITE BULLSHIT THAT WE JUST MADE UP TO TEACH KIDS TO TRY TO PARTIALLY JUSTIFY TAKING THEIR LAND!  AND I'M GONNA LOOK IT UP RIGHT QUICK RIGHT NOW  https://daily.jstor.org/yes-americans-owned-land-before-columbus/   NATIVES OWNED LAND LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!  Not in the sense of like cities and like this tribe owns this general township, but in the sense that individually Families Or Individuals owned land themselves.  So FUCK YOU!!!      TWO--  I had a TWO but I forget it now!  Oh, TWO-- I'm pretty sure Natives understand owning land NOW.  In fact I think they understand it more than anybody.  I dunno, what else is going on and crap.
    THREE-- I BET THERE'S A THREE THAT'S ELUSIVE AND EVADING ME AT THE MOMENT BUT WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?  Probably nothing, that'd be my guess.  Anyway that Mark Walberg Football Movie where he's some guy who attends Try Outs for The Philadelphia Eagles-- what if he was tring out for the New England PATRIOTS instead and they were like, hey he is just trying out for the team off the street but we should PAY. TRY. OUTS!!  That Settles That!  What else is going on and crap.  I don't get how Racist Rednecks from the south can argue they're The Most True Americans when Sports Team Names From The North East tell A Very Different Story.  I wish I had some more coffee now But I Finished Pot Of Coffee and I could make more But I'd Have To Wait 10 Minutes Anyway So Is It Worth It In The End?
    Four-- there's no four I'm onto bigger and better things now!  Presumably.  I was so Certain I hit pay dirt googling Mark Walberg Patriots and a movie popped up and I hoped it actually turned out to be the Patriots in that movie but no such luck that's the movie about the guy who gets Patriot'd Day or something.  I wanna say some sort of Terrorism Attack on a Parade?  He was a cop in that movie so I dunno maybe he had it coming?  We can't jump to that conclusion.  And he can't jump at all!  Well, not Mark Walberg's character.  Some other people can't.  They lost their legs.  The point is its a movie about Mark Walberg playing some cop and there's some sort of a parade in question that's in the process of being terrorized.  Then they go after the terrorismists.  I don't wanna give away what happened. 


I Can't Believe It!

    Move over Consuming Coffee, Here Comes Lunch!  Amazingly, the exact lunch I predicted Lo So Many Paragraphs Ago (3)  I like Salmon.  Its a Fillet of Fish not the kind YOU might be thinking of but its unquestionably accurate.  Anyway, I dunno.  Still watchin' Intervention In The Background for 60% of my day.  Still gotta request my Mail In Ballot for NY Primary.  I wanna vote for Bernie Sanders because Why Not Pot Committed At This Point.  Also Now That I Think About It they usually give you Stickers when you vote.  I would LOVE a new sticker especially one that Shows Off to the american* public that I Voted Once More Yet Again!  Also, my acoustic guitar case is constantly within sight of the american* public.
    I don't know which is stupider-- saying that Kneeling Football Players are Protesting The Flag-- or fetishizing The Flag.  It's ridiculous to think THIS GUY FUCKIN HATES OUR FLAG THAT'S THE POINT HE'S TRYING TO MAKE!!!! and its just as ridiculous to be like AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE OUR FLAG!  ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!!!  I lack the imagination to understand this.  Maybe that's on me, I dunno.  Anyway I'm watchin' this one intervention and this lady is Starting To Smoke Crack WHILE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR INTERVENTION.  No, I Mean, not just ok I'm gonna smoke some crack while the cameras are going, I do it all the time.  No, I mean, she's like, I never smoked crack before, but now that cameras are on me about addiction YA KNOW WHAT LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT!  Go big or go home!  Or go somewhere else, go small, stay where you are, I dunno, lots of good options!  I'll see ya later.

-2:51 P.M.



**reading that voice scared me!  you can capitalize or not capitalize anything you want!  its a free country!  stay strong and stay free! stay big and go small!  stay Flag or What, huh!


Friday, June 5, 2020

Maybe Title Good, Then We'll See

    Maybe I guess.  What's going on friends.  My life has progressed roughly 22 hours since ending last entry.  Maybe closer to 20.  I dunno I'm gonna have to look into that more extensively later.  Most of My Life has been good!  Got Food Delivery today.  Had a successful phone conversation with Dr. Psychiatrist in which she said I have the greatest mental health of anyone she's ever talked to on the phone.  In fact she insisted that from now on, when we talk, I should be the psychiatrist and she'll be my patient.  I said Perhaps if we adjust whose paying who.  I can't be paying her for me giving her treatment.  That doesn't seem fair!
    Got Food Delivery.  Everything I wanted!  We're talkin' some Salmon.  Some Potato Spheres that went over so well with Myself last time from a few weeks ago.  Got some, uh.. oh right, Roast Beef.  Got some SALAMI.  Who here likes Salami, we love salami on this website, don't we.  My Dad got the salami, but he'll share it with me, there's enough for me.  I've been troubled by Joe Biden's twitter feed because it went from being updated every other day to having 2 dozen Nonsense Tweets each day.  Just politician this is Supposed To Inspire Me? word salad.  Kinda on board with it, though.  It sounds stupid but it's STILL comforting somehow, so I guess him and his team know what they're doing.  I'd rather read Nonsense That's Clearly Meant To Be Inspiring/Uniting than Evil Nonsense That's Clearly Not Meant To Be Anything Other Than Evil Nonsense.  (That's from that other guy running for president!) 
Lemme look that up Right Quick.  I've Consulted Internet and it's advised me that its most likely to be Sour Cream and Cheddar.  If I want onions I'll have to inject some onion into the chips myself.  And I Don't!  Anyway these are the best flavor of potato chips.  I don't get how yo could disagree.  You'd be wrong.  Unless you have Taste Backwardsness.  And everything you taste is The Reverse f what I taste.  How can you have a reverse of taste, taste isn't 1 dimensional, on a straight line, there's LAYERS of taste, it's probably not even 2 dimensional it's probably THREE DIMENSIONAL BUT NOT FOUR THAT'S TOO MUCH.  Heh, made myself giggle.  I Win!
    Tasting Through Time.
  Doesn't sound right.  Maybe that's what Nirvana was trying to accomplish but with Smell.  That'd be an interesting Scientific Experiment to do.  But you'd probably have to do some time traveling yourself to inspect Past Smells and potentially Future Smells.  From where I sit That Seems Impossible.  The Future Is Bright But Also The Future Smells.  That's a compromise I can live with.  We all have to make compromises in life.  Presumably.  That's what I've been subconsciously led to believe from Joe Biden's Tweets.  Dammit He Got Me!  If you want me to make compromises in life, when that goes against my instinct in some situations-- what are you gonna give me?  You gotta make a compromise with me to get me on board with compromises.  I'm sorry but I need to draw a line in the sand somewhere.  Huh.  Made myself confused.  I Win!
  Lunch today is either Some Salmon with some Potato Spheres or Roast Beef Sandwich with some Potato Spheres.  I'll keep you updated on  this situation as it develops.  Probably Salmon.  I've got enough Salmon for TWO meals but only enough Roast beef for ONE meal unless I do half Turkey half Roast Beef which I JUS THOUGHT OF and Now Sounds Great!!!  See I knew writing a 5th paragraph to finish this section of entry would pay off!  NO I DIDN'T!!!  But I'm happy it did!  Sweet, just great, what else is going on.  I saw the two biggest Rebounds in terms of Unemployment were Restaurants and Dentists.  They specified Dentists.  Well Great news for MY Family, at least.  The good news is Unemployment Rates fell from 14.7 to 13.3, which prompted Trump to say George Floyd is looking on from Heaven (Presumably!) and saying This Is A Great Day.  And who can argue with that sentiment knowing that Unemployment among Black people dropped a whopping...i NEGATIVE .1%!!!
Also it's Trump questioning if Floyd is in Heaven.  Not me!  I figure he's probably in Heaven.  I didn't use to believe in Heaven but after seeing what happened to George Floyd they GOTTA make a Heaven just as some sort of Settlement agreement with what happened to him in life.  Ugh.  I don't get the idea of Heaven.  Hey GREAT JOB LIVING THROUGH REGULAR LIFE HERE'S YOUR REWARD!!!  Why do you need a reward (Or Eternal Punishment!) just for Hanging Around for a few decades.  Why not just have Heaven and forget about Real World.  Ya haven't earned Heaven Yet, ya stupid soul, you gotta hang around Earth for a few decades doing some good things, mostly neutral things, maybe 10% kinda shitty things NOW You're Welcome To Heaven!  Alight time for a break! 


Jeez How Bout These Titles

    I guess.  Put food in the oven to be ready in 40 minutes.  That's how This Is Going.  Once its been 20, 25 minutes, if I go down stairs, or even Just Start The Process Of Going Downstairs-- leaving my room into the hallway with the intention of going down the stairs themselves-- I can even smell it at that point!  Anyway, must have said it before, but my Dad's Dad wrote in his, I wanna say Elementary School YearBook, When You Get Married & Live Upstairs, Don't Come Down To Borrow My Chairs.  Which I wanna say Means Something? but I don't think anyone alive is really sure what it means.  Also my Dad thinks it doesn't mean anything.  But I'm not so sure!  Everything Means Something!  Probably,, that'd be my guess at least.
    I dunno.  For Lunch we're talkin just 1 3.5 Oz Salmon Fillt, we're talking 7 or 8 Potato Spheres (maybe about a 2 inch diameter, 1 inch radius), we're talkin Probably Some Small ROLL of some kind.  Made out of BREAD.  Also, being a resident of NYC, I'd be remiss to not point out how particularly the NYPD is Fucking Shit Up (In a bad way), judge that ordered police can hold people w/o charges for over 24 hours is Fucked Up, and politicians like De Blasio and Cuomo being on the side of the Fascist Police is Fucked Up.  But, sure, I'm sure Joe Biden will broker some compromise where the Police Are Allowed To Be Fascists but maybe discipline the officers specifically caught on tape to some small extent.  That's gonna be the compromise.  The poeple caught on tape are fired!  Everything Else Stays The Same!!!  I SAY NO DEAL!!!
    Gotta compromise to to get me to come to the table.  I demand Double Compromises!  Anyway, just went to Front Door to bring in a Delivery Box and I saw ACROSS THE STREET IS AN NYPD VAN!!!  I should be okay I'm safe inside my house, right?  That's what Breonna Taylor thought.  Or, maybe she didn't.  IF she did she was wrong.  If she did that almost makes it feel more tragic.  Hmm she probably did, maybe that's a level of tragedy I wasn't full appreciating.  Oh I know what police do to you when you're outside BUT I'M JUST IN MY APARTMENT SLEEPING AND... silence.  Is there a Heaven?  I dunno!  Probably a Loop.  That's my guess.  Loops back aground to the start.  And then her murder happens all over again.  Loops back around to the start.  ....
    GET THE NYPD TERRORISTS AWAY FROM ME!!!  I should be safe I don't think they're an internet surveillance team that read I was Talkin' Shit, I should be okay.  Yeesh.  Gonna take a break after this paragraph.  That's how I feel.  How Bout That Lunch I Got In Store.  It ain't in The Store It's IN MY OVEN AND THEN WILL SOON BE IN MY BELLY.  In the belly of the beast.  Is that a reference to song The Mariner's Revenge Song by the band The The Decemberists?  That'd be my guess!  That's a good song.  It's a Story Song!  Tells a nice long story through Song.  Also, if you've ever wondered how to spell TheBand The Decemberists, its like that!  With an extra, "E," like the month December.  Not like Decembrists, like the Russian Revolutionaries.  No, these guys are just The Most/Best At DECEMBER.  I'll be back in a bit.


So Much More Fun Ways To Think About The World Other Than Through Race/Racism

    Ya know, like thinking about the world through the prism of OTHER oppressed groups?  We could be thinking about the world through Sex/Sexism!  Or Disability Discrimination or Class Struggle!  The point is Yeah sometimes you devote a MONTH to an entire thing, that's why Black History month was decided.  I think when we learn in elementary school oh February is black history month you're like That Sounds Nice Good We Should Have That!  But they probably made that law in congress to be like LOOK FINE FEBRUARY WE'LL THINK ABOUT BLACK FOLKS 11/12 OF THE TIME?  FUCK OFF YOU GOT YOUR MONTH!!!!  My favorite prism in which to see the world is Hey Everythings Great.  I'm feeling great.  Hey Look At That That's Great!  So Much Of This Is Gre... oops all these oppressed groups.  Hmm, I've got some spare time.  I'll suspend my "Feeling Great Campaign," for a solid month. 
    But then the month loops back around.  And we do the Considerate Thoughtful Month over again.  And we work in some time for Feeling Great.  We balance Being Considerate with Being Thoughtful and Trying To Feel Great.  Also Acting On Those Emotions.  Its not enough to feel like being considerate you gotta CONSIDERATE IT UP C'MON DON'T BE SHY GET THOSE CONSIDERATION MUSCLES GOIN!  Anyway, I dunno. Hey we DID have Frenched Toast for supper last night.  And-- get this-- made myself 4 pieces--  I SAVED ONE I DON'T BELIEVE IT I GET TO HAVE IT AS A SNACK WHENEVER I WANT!!!  Bonus Frenched Toast. It's Feeling Great cause its great, it's considerate because I also cooked some for my parents, and it's thoughtful because I Can't Stop Thinking About It!  I'll see ya later.

-2:35 P.M.


P.S.-- I think actual systemic physical violence against a particular race goes beyond, "Racism," but I dunno what else to call it.  I'm trying not to fall back into the pattern of saying we're fighting racism in the abstract.  No, we're specifically fighting Police Brutality and Illegal Authority Against And Over Particularly African Americans (although, now, everybody).  And it's specific not just to Care About In General but To This Moment In Time right now.  So stay great, you thoughtful considerates! 


Thursday, June 4, 2020

For The Last Time, I Wrote This Title Yesterday!

    Makes sense to me.  Anyway another day another demand for justice.  Ones gotta imagine at some point we'll achieve universal justice and then I can we can go on with our lives!!  Wait, you're saying that will never happen?  And we'd be incredibly lucky just if things are moving in the right direction, even incrementally?  And things can get Much Worse?  Well at that rate I, A White Man, Will Never Be Able To Move On!  That doesn't seem fair remember I Am White.  Anyway all colors need some crazy.  So lets get into it!
    Let's talk about MEALS.  Meals I take.  Or eat.  Can you take a meal?  My feeling is Yes.  Lemme look that up right quick.  Nope doesn't check out.  No I'm gonna take a meal as a turn of phrase.  I looked that up Right Quick and now our lives are All The Better for it.  At this point I'm thinking we could START the transition from #BlackLivesMatter to #BlueLivesDont.  Lets see how they like THAT in their pipe and smoked it.  We could keep both!  I'm fine with BlackLivesMatter Maturing, As More and More People Realize Black Lives Matter, and Co-existing with BlueLivesDont.  Anyway Police are huge snowflakes.  SOCIETY DOESN'T RESPECT US ENOUGH BOOHOOHOO WE'LL SHOW THEM WITH OUR TOUGH GUY VIOLENCE!!  Fuck 'em!  That's what I say.  I didn't come up with that in retrospect.  Either NWA did or they were Paying It Forward and they heard someone else say it first. 
    Anyway lets get to some laugh-em-ups.  Has there ever been a Really Good Police Department.  Like oh in this country in this era the Police Were TOP SHELF!  I guess its that if the police are doing a good job its something no one realizes.  I think Police has assumed the role of We Will Deter Imaginary Crimes From Happening.  I can't imagine how else they can morally even try to justify using violence on peaceful protesters-- on BYSTANDERS-- and so on.  In their brains they're thinking THIS SHOW OF FORCE WILL SEND A MESSAGE!  And, guess what, it has!  That You're Fuckin' Out Of Control and we will no longer stand for it!  In an ideal world!  A world where its not a Police State!  Which I feel like there's relatively decent odds we're not in completely!
    Oh, I get it.  Laugh-em-up.  Ugh.  Apart from being Less Fun and Entertaining, another reason I don't like getting serious is that there's a lot of people who can be more insightful and powerful than me On Seriousness.  I excel at Nonsense Jokes a lot more, the world doesn't need another guy being serious and being on the right track.  That's how I feel!  So Nonsense, Hmm, Hmm.  Have you heard the good news that I'm About To Pour Myself Some Coffee?  I bet you have!  It just occurred, me telling you that good news.  And now the news in question, the me getting coffee, is about to occur itself!  Why, by the start of the next paragraph, I can confidently say It Will have Occurred!
    I am the authority on meals I take.  I am the authority on seeing if Taking A Meal catches on with the dozens of .25 readers I have.  I am the authority on I Have Coffee Just As Foretold.  Anyway, gotta Phone Call Visit with Dr. Psychiatrist tomorrow morning.  Gotta Delivery To Accept Tomorrow Morning and Wipe Off Some Of.  May have to go get blood work done in the next week or two, as I've explained to you before. C'mon you don't remember?  Gotta get it cause Clozapine I take, can effect... CMON YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THIS?  I'VE SAID IT A DOZENS OF TIMES!!!  Anyway I got that going for me.  I think it's not great to have a psychiatrist whose 1st language isn't yours.  Hard to communicate!  Which is important one would imagine when seeing a psychiatrist.  Hey friend I'm seeing a physiatrist.  Wow is it serious?  I.. uh.. OH You!  ...And the answer is No.  It's not serious. 
Hey great.  Had a late breakfast, 75% chance I have Communal French Toast as an Early Dinner... either gotta have a Small Lunch halfway trhough or no lunch.  We are sometimes in life forced to make tough decisions and whether I have a small lunch or no lunch is Mine For The Day.  And don't think the odds of whether we have Communal Early French Toast isn't the main thing to consider.  If it was 0%, I'd have a regular sized late lunch, have a late dinner.  If it was 100%, I'd uh.. not do that.  The point is this is a very important paragraph because now you have a little window into what My World Is Like similar to about 1/3rd of All Paragraphs For At Least The Last Few Months Or I Wanna Say Years.  This is what you've come to expect from me.  This is how you know its me and not some other writer.  Let's talk about My Lunch.  Now that I think about it I've NEVER read any other writer write so extensively on meals they themselves have in real life.  Never.  Only Me.  I wear that as a badge  of honor.  More like a sash of honor.  Over my badge. And I happen to be wearing it right over my Badge Number.  Weird coincidence!
    Anyway, I use a little glass shot glass to put my pills in to knock 'em back.  Cause I take like 8 pills in both the morning an evening (Different Ones Per Time of Day!).  And anyway I Dropped It And It Broke and now I'm all to pieces Yeeheeheeheee!  Anyway gonna replace it with a larger Plastic Cup.  I had been using in my bathroom Theoretically to put tooth brushes.  But I just keep Tooth Brush on the counter by the sink.  I don't need this cup to Lean It Upright.  So I will re-appropriate this plastic cup-- same cup I used to use when I was a child for Beverage Purposes, but have since transitioned to Glass Glasses-- and now that's my Pill Cup.  Again, important  stuff.  And Relevant!  All this is based on something that happened Specifically Today!
I've been pleasantly surprised at the number of Tales From The Crypt from the 2nd Half of the seasons I haven't full absorbed and am more or less watching for the first time!  There's like a dozen or so! Of which 4 or so are left!  And they may not be as good, or else I would have gone out of my way to watch them again, but hey thats life sometimes you gotta watch adequate Tales Coming From Some Sort Of Crypt.  Ugh.  Anyway had a headache last night and it reminded me of CaronaVirus.  I dunno if it gives you headaches but jut being in physical pain I was like oh right I could still get that, experience a lot of physical pain, and then die.  I Don't Like Them Breaks One Bit!
    Huh.  How about that.
  Is it a thing where people are spreading Coronavirus on purpose?  Like, to their enemies?  Because if not it seems like people with enemies don't have the greatest imaginations.  I mean,, I'd be happy to find out people aren't giving it to their enemies on purpose.  But I'd be a little skeptical that no one else has considered this move.  That reminds me of one of my favorite Crazysheet Dot Com jokes.  Wouldn't it be funny if you were buried alive?  Well, not to you, but to your enemies.  The joke is why would you have enemies.  Well, that's part of the joke.  Anyway it holds up a bit I still enjoy it!  Mom says French Toast is at 75/25% odds.  I'm gonna amend that to 60/40 odds, knowing my Mom, and knowing odds, and being a compulsive gambler.
    Ugh.  Had a dream I ordered beer!  Then I woke up and was like great just a dream just my luck.  But it's been a solid month since last drink.  31 days!  Any more and you can't get away with calling it Just A Month at all!  Also I was doing some research on something, I forget, but I saw a diagram of where fat gets stored on your body based on what you're consuming to make you fat-- and the Fat Deposit I have, unsurprisingly, matches up with alcohol use.  And I was like ya know I'd be happier with a different deposit of fat, if I quit drinking maybe I'll get there!  So that's something to consider is the point.  After all, what is crazysheet but Different Deposits Of Fat.  I dunno, it's a lot of things if not that.  Sounds about right, that checks out!
    Wow.  Hopeful Food Delivery for tomorrow arrives After Dr. Physiatrist.  Dr. Psych is at 9:00 (and probably lasts around 15-20 minutes), and Food Delivery is estimated at from 9:00 to 12:00. So great I got that going for me is the point!  What choices do I have if I decide on a Small Lunch.  We're talkin I have one Smart Ones: The Frozen Meals: Swedish Meatballs With Pasta.  We're talkin Different Brand of Cup O Noodles That's Cup O Noodles But Not Cup O Noodles.  We're talkni  I dunno half a can of chili?  basically not a lot of good options which is of course another key factor in determining whether to have a lunch or not.  Anyway, still got a bit of money on poker.  Not enough to sit at a table, but enough to play sit n go's which, if I win, is enough to sit at a table!
    Wow.  I don't believe it!  Not sure what the, "n Go," factor is in calling these Poker Tables, "Sit N Gos."  Sit, I understand.  I bought in and now I am sitting at the table.  N Go?  But I Just Got Here!  Also lemme explain a sitngo right quick.  Basically you buy in for the same amount, you all sit at a table, and you start off with the same amount of chips, and that's it.  You can't buy in for more.  And you keep playing as people get eliminated, through the process of Playing Hands to try to accumulate chips and Not Lose All Your Chips.  And then basically 3rd place gets some amount, 2nd place some more, 1st place, if you're the last man standing, you win!  You get the most amount of pay off!  It's a Sit N Go!  Again, I get sit.  'N Go escapes me.  I guess its like WATCH EM GO!  SIT N GOOOOO.
Great, just great.  13th paragraph!  Had 2 or 3 cups of Mom's Pot Of Coffee as she woke up earlier than me and made coffee before I could even get the chance!  Will I make my own pot?  I dunno but I will soon!  Anyway.  Shaved about 94% of my facial hair yesterday.  Picked Off about 4% Facial Hair through manual picking.  And now look at me now I got pretty much no facial hair!  Not as far as you know!  Gonna take a break after this paragraph.  Probably No Lunch.  Maybe have some sort of Hearty Snack.  I feel like I've accomplished a lot of paragraphs throughout these 13 paragraphs.  What kinda hearty snacks are we talkin.  I dunno how about One Pop Tart.  Hey maybe I got some Popcorn I could have Two Thirds Of A Bag.  Half a can of chili... Alright I'll be back in a bit.


Waht's Your Name?

    Was that typo strategic?  E-mail your answers to mankin*guy@com.org.  Anyway just spent 20 minutes disinfecting and wiping down 50% of last delivery.  Now we're down to Just Cans!  Soup Cans, Fruit Cups, maybe some other sort of can that escapes me.  Gotta do it tonight, though, new stuff is coming tomorrow!  It's an assembly line of groceries is the point and if one station backs up it mucks up the entire process.  Anyway made myself some coffee!  Took a Klonopin!  And now I'm back ready to go and whatnot.  George Floyd.  ...Looking online for The Other Recent Examples of Police Killing People... gotta dive deep a little bit.  Briana Taylor is One I wanna say...
Breonna Taylor, An EMT Worker-- Police went into her apartment without a warrant or identifying themselves, as per my understanding, presumably under the impression they were following some sort of, "Lead," on a drug case or something.  Taylor's Boyfriend saw someone coming into the apartment, and since the cops never identified themselves even after being questioned who they were, Walker  thought the cops were people breaking in.  He shot at them.  Anyway Taylor ended up getting shot EIGHT times, pronounced dead at the scene.  No drugs were found at the apartment.  Is it shitty for me to have gone, AN EMT WORKER?  Like if she wasn't then it'd be less tragic or more warranted?  I JUST TOLD YOU NO WARRANT AT ALL THAT'S THE PROBLEM!
 Not 100% sure why politicians all suck the Police Departments' Dicks.  Do the police just have dirt On Every Politician?  Seems as good an explanation as any.  Do they just think well without police department no one would obey the law at all in any situation.  That's kinda projecting, right?  Politicians, their whole thing is to try to work around the law without breaking it, to enrich themselves, give themselves more power, and help their criminal friends.  So they think if People aren't being crushed under the Knee of the law we, like them, would start taking advantages.  Lucky for us, though, most people aren't as shitty as many politicians.  The point is everyone has power except the innocent masses.  That no good!


Waving From A Safe Distance

    That's great, just great.  Another wonderful day.  Halfway through.  I like the odds of the rest of the day!  Lookin' like French Toast may not be in the cards afterall!  But it's too late for a lunch.  Not even hungry.  So the point is, hmm, what else is going on.  I figure I'll just wrap this up now.  Stay strong my brothers and sisters.  Aunts, nieces, nephews.  Alllll the families.  Hmm there's a lot more families than just those.  Yeah but those are the only Families I'm familiar with at this point is the point.  I'll see ya later!


-4:29 P.M.


Wednesday, June 3, 2020

My Name Is Michael

    That sounds about right lets go with that.  Uh huh.  Anyway, here's your intermittent reminder that This Is A Nonsense Website.  Sometimes It's Nonsensical and sometimes it's about Nonsense going on outside.  I prefer the first.  You do, too!  But I have no control over what happens the Website Is More Powerful Than Me the last few, I dunno.  Days?  Weeks Months?  Years?  The point is I've had some incarnation of Crazysheet since 2003 but NO MORE MY NAME IS MICHAEL NOW.  Maybe Mike.  Or just call me K*rnblum.  Or The Uppers.  But I'm gonna take a stand FOR THE MOST PART I'M MICHAEL.  Also Jewish name is Avram.  Complete Jewish Name with Part II Name is Avram Zelig.  Second Regular name is Adam.  I'm glad this is all out in the open right now.
Anyway I think my favorite part of Quarantine, one of the several things that are nice, is being VERY friendly and polite with delivery people.  I know they're putting themselves out there, they know it, and consistently we're giving each other Very Nice Waves and we're all friends now.  I like it!  Also its easier for me to show affection from beyond a distance of six feet.  I feel I can wave really nice whether they're eight feet away or 40 feet away.  But if they're closer I DON'T KNOW YOU GET OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.  So basically that's how its all working out for me is the point.  Also, yes.  Politely Waving at Strangers is the most affection I get/show In Life.
    What else is going on.  What percent of Americans are cops.  Cause it kinda feels like there's a lot more of us then there are of them.  Lemme look that up right quick. Hmm.  Internet-- 3.4 of every 1,000 Americans are cops.  You know what I kinda like those odds.  A Lot.  Anyway this is morphing from a Black Lives Matter Thing to Also A War On The Press and also You May Be Next.  I don't want that negativity, though.  Cause there's a lot more Black Lives than Police, there's a lot more Press than the Police. Actually may be close-- lemme look that up right quick--  I dunno numbers aren't as immediately clear.  Maybe around about the same as cops.  So Cops Vs Press is pretty even but then you add Black Lives and Decent White Folk and the press will Tag Us In and we'll pile drive ya, don't think we won't.  Maybe even use a mandible claw!  Also, just in terms of overall population, a lot more people are politically on Our Side.  So we got that giong for us as well.
    So basically they're .34% of the population.  Good for them!  I figure at some point they'll get all tuckered out from all the abusing their power to hurt and kill people.  At some point its gonna get old, right?  And being on the wrong side of the law, the wrong side of history, the wrong side of what's so obviously right and not right, that's gotta weigh on their conscious at some point, right?  Maybe not.  But hey that's great something's bound to give.  Anyway fourth paragraph.  Hopefully I get all tuckered out from Outside Nonsense this section of entry and we get to some REAL nonsense.  What about plainclothes cops.  There could be 10 million cops WE DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.  Probably not, though!  That'd be unsustainable, illogical, and kinda ultimately a waste of resources!
    The point is I had a Supermarket Delivery this morning and once it arrived, the Deliverers (THERE WERE 2 OF THEM FOR SOME REASON?  2ND ONE TO KEEP THE 1ST ONE COMPANY?) put all bags in front of my door (NOT BLOCKING MY DOOR SO I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO OPEN IT THEY PUT THE BAGS TO THE SIDE THESE FOLKS KNOW WHAT TO DO) and went back to their car I WAVED AT THEM FRIENDLY CAUSE I MEAN IT ITS NOT JUST POLITE THEY ARE EVERYDAY HEROES and THEY WAVED BACK.  The point is I now have exponentially more diet soda than I had before as well as exponentially more Chicken Vindaloo.  I got a nice prepared meal for lunch is the point.  We're talking lemon rice.  Chicken and Potato in, I wanna say, "Vindaloo," sauce.  I'll look that up right quick.  Indian Curry Dish.  Vindaloo is, I dunno, its just the name of the dish!  Get off its back about it!

It's Fun To Be Friends

        I was thinking about it, and there's probably some not unsignficant number of police officers who are like Uhh I I Don't Wanna Abuse My Authority....  I dunno if its 20% or 80%!!!  Depends on the environment, I know.  Inner Cities Vs Suburbs, obviously you're gonna get a different percentage.  But either way there's some Not Evil cops!!!  But FUck givin' the police department credit for having some okay cops.  They wanna get credit?  Then they go on record saying we don't condone any this, we're gonna reform NOW, etc.  You Gotta Earn It Is The Point!  Probably.  The other point is I Was Making Light Of Chicken Vindaloo earlier like WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN LMAO and I was insensitive.  It's A Curry Dish.  Oh now I get it.
Cool!  Other names I will respond to-- MAK, MAK DADDY, THE MAK DADDY KID, LIL' MAK DADDY, SMALLIE BIGGS, PUNK BABY...  I'll keep you updated on this situation as it develops.  I dunno.  Chicken Vindaloo for lunch or 1st serving of Brand New Box of Jimmy Dean Biscuit Based Breakfast Sandwich.  Mom was expressing interest in a Communal Dinner tonight-- possibly Frenched Toast-- but from recent past experience there's like a 2/3rd-3/4th chance that doesn't pan out.  Was watching and Absorbing For The First Time the Tales From The Crypt with Whoopi Goldberg.  I dunno if its her name or her look or some subconscious racism of not being exposed to enough Black Females, but I never knew what to make of her as a child.  Is She Comedy Or Serious Actress Or Some Other Thing?  Also another key aspect was I had None of Her Comedies (Or Dramas) on VHS.  Had I seen Sister Act II 3 dozen times in my youth I may have had an entirely different experience.  But also Whoopi Goldberg is a weird name.  Whoopie.  Obviously that's the key part.  But also Goldberg is weird for a Black Lady.  Presumably not Jewish. 
    And now she's a Daytime Talkshower.  So that enters the equation.  Also She's Just Her Own Person Yeah She Has A Distinctive Thing THAT'S BECAUSE SHE'S HER.  I MEAN, HER SHE.  I MEAN, what ya see is what ya get.  That sounds about right.  Cool!  I think maybe, again, it may just be me, but Whoopi is one of those actors who when you see its just oh that's Whoopi Goldberg.  Some actors its kinda hard to separate their personas as people from the part they're playing.  Not bad or worse.  Just different.  For example I've been playing Crazy Sheet for 17 years and this whole time you have been painfully aware I'm actually Michael, "The Mak Daddy Kid," K*rnblum.  
  Breakfast Sandwich 4 Lunch would be 410 calories.  The complete Chicken Vindaloo would be 580 if Jimmy Dean and/or Fairway Markets are to be trusted!  Who gives a fig.  I feel like I gained a bunch of weight Since Quarantine but, having stopped drinking for a month, and my sense of self control over food gradually decrease over that time, I'm at a place where I have plataued more or less!  So I got that going 4 me is the point.  Anyway I'm concerned about Protesters getting  Covid.  Because it's like a conflagration of all the things to avoid.  We're talkin' very close contact with A Lot of people.  We're talking about presumably a lot of yelling.  We're talking about Tear Gas and Pepper Spray opening up your orafaces.  We're talking African Americans.  Whats the stats on Why African Americans are a lot more likely to get COVID 19?  Have we settled whether its just socio-economic conditions, both Macro and Micro in scale, or pre-existing conditions-- both personal and genetic.  Lemme look that up right quick.  Oh here's one I knew but forgot-- Doctors and Nurses not taking Black People's health concerns seriously.  Then there's some others but the point is is there a virtual protest we could do.  Also that way we avoid getting hurt.  Can't Zoom just create a 100,000 x 100,000 Teleconference Call and we're all protesting?  I think it's time for Zoom To Step Up Is The Point.
    The point is all my names for myself cancel each other out and I'm just Some Guy.  I don't like it but there it is!  I think I'm gonna have that Sausage Egg & Cheese Biscuit.  Put it in oven after this paragraph.  Leave it in That There Oven for 40 Minutes.  Come back here.  Eat said biscuit sandwich.  Also I like Dan Rather on Twitter but has he ever been canceled for advertising 60 minutes when it was really only 43 or 44 minutes AT BEST?  Also at what point does he create a WebShow called Would You Rather?  Has he already done it, is he in the process of doing it, or will it be done soon.  Anyway looks like Dan Rather was just a correspondent on 60 minutes and not an anchor.  So we can't blame him he was just following orders.  We should get used to that phrase.  Be back with a Biscuit Sandwich!


Get Your Own Website

    We need haircuts is the point.  Our collective hairs are growing too long!  Maybe I just need to shave.  I dunno anymore.  I feel slightly guilty having an indulgant breakfast sandwich for lunch.  The world is going TO PUTT out there and here I am enjoying a nice Hearty Breakfast Sandwich.  But life goes on.  I've been watching a lot of Intervention the last 2 days, sometimes more than once!  For some reason instead of going from episode 1 to episode 2 to episode 3, somethins getting mucked up-- maybe its changing at random.  Hulu is set to Shuffle or something for some reason.  The point is I've seen this one already! is something I've the thought 2/3rds into episodes.
    Cool!  I remember in Spring 2008 McDonalds had that Southern Style Chicken Sandwich which was a Fried (Spicy?) Chicken On a Biscuit.  I miss the good old days of destroying my Heart with fast food every night.  That was also the semester I lived close to PopEyes and would regularly get PopEyes for the only time in MyLife.  Also were people of previous generations entertained by Popeye?  The cartoon?  Did they see this sailor with an anvil tattoo and he beats people up and go this guy SPEAKS TO ME.  You see yourself in Popeye or was he some sort of proto-super hero who knocks bad guys' blocks' off.  After every Popeye is there a quick Paid For By The Spinach Awareness Foundation?
I'm sure aware of spinach.  Not 100% what it's all about, sure, but I know of it.  I feel like I've had spinach as an extra on sandwiches or salads and have been like sure why not pile it on there!  Also Why Are So Many People Fucking With Popeye?  Seems like every time he's just out trying to live his day someone tries to kidnap his woman or is just antagonizing Popeye in someway.  At what point do we think maybe we're not seeing the whole story here, maybe Popeye is the agitator here and we just cut in after He Did Some Shit.  We need someone to de-escalate each Popeye situation though we can't have Popeye committing Assault After Assault even if he is on the right side of things!  The point is I shulda had the Chicken Vindaloo.
Alright then.  I like when I clip my toe nails a bit too much, then I put on socks, then when I take off the socks, there's a mass of cloth from the socks that has formed around the area of where the nail had been clipped.  Then I get to pull it out.  Which I really find enjoyable.  Anyway the point is I'm done with this entry pretty much.  I wish I could get good at Minesweeper.  Too scary a game to try to figure out, though. I mean you hit a Mine, yeah we know its just a game but there's still part of that YIKES JUST BLEW UP.  And that happens pretty much every game unless you're a Pro whose been practicing their entire lives.
    Alright might as well write another paragraph.  Keep multiples of 5s going for some reason no one is really sure of.  I was watchin some addicts talk about how they loved the needle and I was like ya know what I have a pen here the kind where you push it down on the top and the Ink Side comes out I'm Gonna Mime injecting myself with a needle by holding my pen to my skin and pressing down the tip.  And ya know what, I Can see what these people are raving about this is fun!  And that's even without any substance or breaking the skin.  Welll, anyway, that'll do it!  I'll see ya tomorrow probably for some reason.

-2:37 P.M.


Tuesday, June 2, 2020

I'll Trade You One Quarantine Tuesday For Two Quarantine Fridays

    Seems fair.  I lightly-suffer an extra day but I get more Friday than Tuesday.  Take The Deal C'mon! You know what, I wouldn't make that trade.  I'll trade you two Fridays for one Tuesday.  C'mon take the deal For Real This Time!  I was just watching Tales From The Crypt again-- this is a true story-- and I was actually absorbing an episode I've had on in the background 3 or 4 times but never really paid attention to.  I swear to god this is all a true story.  Anyway it takes place in the Old West--- or so we think!, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  It's about an outlaw-- very successful, killed a lot of people, has never gotten killed yet-- or so we think!  Turns out he HAS been killed and is haunting this saloon and now it's an Old West Miniature Amusement Park-- and, I swear to God-- they're like ya know this saloon got its very own ghost!
TRUE STORY.  Well, the story of the story.  I can't attest to whether this was a documentary or not.  But anyway the point is how many Duels, Old West or Otherwise, ended up as Murder Suicides.  I feel like even if you're .25 a second behind the other guy shooting you, your muscles should be able to hold  down the trigger or something that you both get got.  I'ma look that up right quick.  Turns out YEP SOME RANDOM PERSON ON THE INTERNET HAS CONFIRMED IT THERE ARE DUELS WHERE BOTH PEOPLE DIE.  Probably some duels where neither one dies.  I feel like if I was in a duel, I'd be in a duel with an equally inept person, and we'd go through a dozen rounds of shooting at each other, always missing, and then after 12 or so rounds of this We Are Both Declared Losers.
    The point is people in the past really didn't value their lives.  HEY YOU OFFENDED ME SOMEWAY... LET'S SET IT UP SO THERE'S A 50% CHANCE I DIE TOMORROW!  If you go straight to Dueling every time someone offends you You're Not Gonna Be Around Long!  If I were dueling I'd Shoot First And Kill The Other Guy before he could even mechanically use his trigger finger to shoot me.  That's my strategy.  Also, DIVE OUT OF THE WAY WHILE I'M SHOOTING.  I reach for my gun WHILE DIVING OUT OF THE WAY-- sure it'll effect my aim but also it ensure I do--i wait it does o such thing!  What if the other guy is a terrible shot.  I could still get hit diving 3 feet away.  Also, what if I've done this several times before.  Then they're expecting it.  But they don't know WHICH SIDE I'M GONNA DIVE.  Left?  Right?  NOW I'M IN THEIR HEAD.
What else is going on.  Also, the alternative to DYING is HEY NOW I'VE KILLED SOMEONE.  How is that not a lose/lose.  Does killing people make you feel like a big man?  Cause if so I guess that's a Win.  But I think for most people it'd be like hmm I'm gonna need some time to process these feelings.  Sure this guy offended me in someway but maybe I was too hasty to set it up so I could end his life because of it.  Anyway things are fucked right now-- monumentally fucked-- and are on the precipice of getting more fucked-- but at least we don't have duels going on.  We don't have people killing each other in the street for no reason!  Well, we do.  We have police killing people in the streets for no reason.  But this ti.. uh... my advice to everyone protesting peacefully or even unpeacefully is to practice your Diving Out Of The Way Skills.  It won't solve every situation but it might in some?  Also buy some goggles.  That'll help protect you from Pepper Spray which is one of only a dozen or so ways police have of assaulting you.  I'll try to come up with other safeguards!
    STAY AWAY FROM GLUE though.  Rubber STICKS TO GLUE EVERYTHING STICKS TO GLUE.  I dunno.  I know there's a Social Media Blackout Happening with Musicians to bring awareness to Black Lives Matter and/or Protests.  But I'm pretty sure this is neither social, media, nor am I a musician.  Also writin' makes me feel good.  Also  Rubber Bullets DON'T BOUNCE OFF OF YOU as the name suggests BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.  I'm making light but people are being physically attacked by police for absolutely no reason and its happening all over and you can just watch video after video of it online.  Something's gotta give, right?  True Story!  I'll continue the entry in a bit.


Please, Mr. Sheet Was My Father.  You Can Call Me Crazy.

    Anyway I was thinking about it and I was like what can I write on my Dumb Website, Possibly Read By Half Dozens of People, what can I write that when I read it back 5 years from now would I feel okay with.  I dunno because 5 years from now Who Knows.  Maybe I'll be like Fuck should have written about hover boards considering how wide spread they've become in our Future (Present) society.  I didn't write about hover boards in this section of this entry At All And BOY NOW DON'T I LOOK DUMB.  Anyway in theory I'll be like Well Done Mr. Sheet, sorry, Crazy, sorry, MME, you spread joy and gave comfort to the world by FINALLY PREDICTING HOVERBOARDS THIS PARAGRAPH YOU DID IT NOW WE CAN ALL REST EASY.
  I dunno.  I've been thinking about The Wire Quotes here and there.  A couple of weeks ago I incorporated what I think I got from The Wire-- probably said by Carver talking to Herc-- into a title.  It was something like, It all matters.  We didn't think it did, but it does.  In terms of taking their jobs (and lives) seriously, to do the right thing and not just the easy thing, etc.  And that's kind of a feel good one.  Now I'm thinking of another one, with Marlo taunting a security guard by stealing a single lollipop from a store, and the cop knows he can't police Marlo or He'll Get Got, but this security guard is confronting him, trying to balance out his integrity and trying to remain Not Killed, trying to assume as much integrity in this moment as possible, and Marlo is like You want it to be one way, but it's the other way.  Anyway The Wire is a smart show.  I hope the proportion of Relatively Decent Police shown there isn't itself being too generous.
  Tomorrow I gotta get up early and go through Supermarket Delivery Online and then disinfect some crap!  Awesome!  Imagine how Deadly Omar From The Wire Would Be ON A HOVER BOARD.  Nobody would see it OR HEAR IT coming.  Presumably Hoverboards don't make a sound.  At least not the later models.  When they first hit the marketplace, they might be making some clunky noises like a whirring noise or some sort of thing.  But several years in they'll develop Soundless Hoverboards.  That's my best guess.  Uh oh I'm Losing Me From Five Years In The Future.  Not on board with this paragraph at all!  Hey, great, what else is going on and crap.  Gonna take another beak now.


Sometimes The Other Way Is Better!

    Sweet!  Hover Boards For Everybody!  I'm gonna be honest, my favorite thing is when The Easy Thing Is The Right Thing.  Sometimes the two go hand in hand!  That's the Sweet Spot!  Doing The Easy Thing is Comforting.  To oneself and to others!  Hey if this guy/me is just doing whatever easiest we must not be in so much of a crisis or shitty scenerio otherwise they'd be taking things a bit more seriously!  That's MY hot take!  I dunno.  Started watching THE DENTIST FRANCHISE.  Which I'm assured comprised of 2 hour and a half long movies of which I've watched 60% of.  There was one scene where you see a lady's wide open mouth with gums and 100% of teeth removed, that was a scary sight gag!  Other than that 4 seconds I did not really register any of it.
    Although it did bring to mind my Bit I wrote in high school about how Both My Parents Are Dentists.  And not like in the same practice.  They're competing dentists.  Maybe not direct competition-- they may be at a detente-- but they're separate practices is the point.  Also there's nothing else to that bit.  I have 2 Independently Dentist Parents.  That's About It.  Hey this is the 10th paragraph.  Which means I take a break after this one, write the last section with the aid of lunch, and then get on with my day.  Also, it's a 50% chance that It All Matters Quote is either from a different character in the Wire or not from The Wire at all!  And another 5-10% chance it only happened in my imagination.  The Marlo quote I'm pretty sure I remember, though.  I'll be back!


We Must Assess What Is In The Best Interest Of The Website

    Well thats in accurate on several fronts.  First-- Me Not We.  Second-- I ain't gotta do nothing.  Three-- impossible to know whats in the best interest of the website.  Four-- many things are more important to Pursue Best Interests In other than The Website.  Five-- Title just RUBS me the wrong way I Don't Like It.  Having a nice Late Lunch.  Nice Turkey Sandwich with Toasted Mostly Wheat Bread.  Nice Hearty Beef Barley Soup.  Some water.  I dunno.  I'm digging this soup This Particular Lunch.  Soup is heated to completion, it's very Hearty like I said, I'm a fan!  Pairs Very Well with the water.
Hey great.!  I saw Trump's approval rating with the Military was 42% with a 50% disapprove.  And they HAVE to like the Commander in Chief.  Chain of command is what the military is all about.  And They're STILL Not on Board!  Well they're entitled to their own opinions.  In elementary school my chain of command was I Had To Like The Principal But I never liked the principal.  Not 100% sure what the principal did.  She hosted Auditorium and presumably administrative stuff.  Not a teacher at all, though.  The point is Trump got his wish.  All reports were Trump was getting bored of the caronavirus and now he's got this craziness that is evolving every day.  He's happy.  That's his point of view. 
    Alright maybe the last paragraph.  The Second Two Thirds Of The Dentist Two isn't gonna watch itself!  Mmm just got a nice spoonful with THREE nice Hearty Pieces of Beef.  Anyway.  Maybe if I wasn't living with my parents, maybe I would attend a peaceful protest.  It'd be good to be on the right side of history.  So five years from now I can go back and Read This Current Memory and be like yup I was there then what happened happened and so on until We All Finally Got Our Hover Boards.  Cause its one thing to watch about it on TV, or read about it on Twitter.  It's a life experience.  Either you're out there or you're not.  People participating today are using this opportunity to the fullest and... I dunno... I'm writing a website.  And not Very Well.  See ya later!

-4:31 P.M.


Monday, June 1, 2020

I Think I'm Running Low On Titles

    Anyway New Month, New Opportunities For World To Get Better!  And more opportunities to get worse, too, I guess.  Thems the breaks!  Anyway the current show I'm watching is  THE BOY WITH THE LARGEST HANDS!!!  And it's about some kid with REALLY BIG HANDS!!!!  I'm still working on this 42 minute documentary because it's in a foreign language and I need to be paying attention to Read It but MAN DOES THIS KID HAVE BIG HANDS!!!!  Also finally returned to The Simpsons after taking like a six week break.  The break was 1/2 way through the episode of Bart Sells His Soul And Specifically HalfWayThroughASceneOfTheBPlot of Moe Converts His Bar Into A Family Friendly Restaurant.  LET ME TELL YOU SOME MORE ABOUT WHAT I'VE BEEN WATCHING.
I see there's protests across the world in solidarity with American Protests, both focusing on Protesting Police Abusing Authority and/or Black Lives Matter.  Sorta made me realize ya know in OTHER COUNTRIES whiteness isn't the default.  Kinda makes me feel shitty for assuming the power that is implicit in designating Whiteness As The Default Here.  Good it should feel shitty.  But What CAN I, A WHITE MAN, Do About It?  I can look up Stats on Global Proportions of Different Subsets it doesn't help anything but it would be interesting let me look that up right quick.  Hmm it might be hard to get some numbers on this because WHITE and BLACK and ASIAN are very subjective, right?  But I learned in school there were Caucazoid and Negroids and something else.  Hmm Negroid seems outdated and offensive now its Congoid.  Anyway there's 5 Of Those Things which I think is supposed to be scientific but who gives a fig.  I know, I know, we all love statistics, and we all wanna see who would be favored in future Global Race Wars, but we're just gonna have to move on!!!  Within a century won't those 5 be totally, completely irrelevant and outdated as people produce offspring of multiple backgrounds more and more.  Yeah Probably!  Hey Great HEY EVERYONE FUTURE GLOBAL RACEWAR IS CALLED OFF!!!!
    Anyway I've been operating subconsciously under the assumption Police Will Win This Political/Activism/(Violent) Skirmish but I dunno maybe People Will Have The Day.  I mean in terms of violence we don't stand a chance but I dunno somethin's gotta give.  I tI think there's a solid percent of white people who didn't realize how shitty it was with police/African Americans a month ago, but now see it.  I wasn't really thinking about that.  There's African Americans (+ other minorities) Who Know, there's White People That Know, then there's White People Who Kinda Know Logically But Still Find It Hard To Process And Full Conceptualize (that's me!), then there's white people who know and Are 100% On Board... but there's also white people who didn't really know and some of them now sorta do and who AREN'T 100% on board!  Alright!!! 
    Who do I contact on how to graduate from White Person Who Kinda Knows to a White person Who Knows.
  I really think I'd be a better person and a better ally if I just Knew but not 100% what that process is like is there some sort of Test I can take or something?  Ugh.  I think the most presumable way to make that leap is to have African Americans in your social circle so its not like you just forget about their experience until the next news cycle.  I don't mean you're always bugging your friends for context on each thing, I just mean that by having people in your life of  different backgrounds, it prevents you from forgetting different backgrounds Exist and Are ExistING.  Because as a White Man with no friends or coworkers I just forget other points of view exist, of any ethnicity or religion or age bracket or gender or sexual preference or political leanings, etc.  Have Lots Of Friends is the point??!  I think I'm just projecting with this Rant I Think I Just Want Friends.  Also I don't even need your point of view!  You wanna Reflect ABSOLUTELY NOTHING To Me?  Fine I'll Settle FOR NO CO-SELF REFLECTION!!!
Anyway.  Well, I remember to think about 72 year old Jewishish Parents who Live Where I Live.  Cause they're just always around, ya know!  So there's Me, There's That, and that's about it!  Sometimes I hear from my Brother but he's Just Like Me!  Anyway I had a dream 2 nights ago I accidentally signed back into Facebook and I was like NO ALL MY HARD WORK SPENDING TIME AWAY FROM FACEBOOK AND NOW I'M LOGGED ON AGAIN PEOPLE WILL SEE THAT I'VE FAILED AT STAYING AWAY THEY WILL JUDGE ME FOR COMING BACK AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?  Hmm wonder what those #'s are on the Races.  Like I said its impossible to measure now because people are mixing it up!  Except for me.  I'll mix it up, though, sure.  Anyway I think I'm gonna finish that Story about The Boy With THE BIGGEST HANDS!!!!  Ya gotta check out this kid's hands its ridiculous. It's on TubiTV!!!  Anyway EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS GET TO KNOW THE PEOPLE WITH THE BIGGEST HANDS YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT


I'm High On Miniature Chocolates

    We're talkin' Dove Chocolate.  We're Talking Mini Hershey Bars (Both Dark and Milk), We're Talking Mini Krackels-- The CandY That's Like Crunch But Somehow Different Presumably, We're Talking... well, that's about it.  There's Mr. Goodbars But I Don't Fuck With Mr. Goodbars.  Peanuts ain't my thing is the point.  What is the point is that I haven't had a Bagel in a long, long time.  I haven't had a Bagel With Crea Cheese In Just As Long.  I haven't had a Bagel with Butter in Even WAy Longer.  Today I am pleased to announce I formally intend to have a bagel for lunch soon, a late lunch, I had a late breakfast, I was busy finishing A Terrible Installment in The Amityville Horror Movies where ITS NOT EVEN IN AMITYVILLE ITS ABOUT THE PRESENCE OF AMITYVILLE GOING TO A HOUSE IN CALIFORNIA ITS A FUCKIN AMITYVILLE HORROR WHERE IT HAS NO AMITYVILLE and and anyway I finished that, I watched 15 minutes of Boy With Big Ol' Hands, then I had breakfast.  For Breakfast I had A GENEROUSLY SIZED PIECE OF CHOCOLATE-BANANA POUND CAKE some might say a dietary irresponsible breakfast but they don't know my experience of Watching Calorifnia Amityville Morning.
    Krackels. Crack.  Who came up with the term Crack Cocaine.  It had to be someone relatively recently, right?  They didn't invent that until the 70's or so, right?  Lemme look that up right quick.  Hmm went from talking about black people into miniature CHOCOLATES [THE COLOR OF SOME BLACK PEOPLE] then CHOCOLATE POUNDCAKE then KID WITH BIG HANDS (Not Sure His Ethnicity But He Was Some Shade Of Brown!) and now CRACK COCAINE: THE DRUG LOADEDLY ASSOCIATED WITH POOR BLACK PEOPLE.  I never said Crazysheet was a responsible, logical, or ideal way of forming a narrative and/or thought.  This is evidence of that.  But the point is oh right gotta look up crack cocaine origins.  Anyway started showing up in 1980, couldn't find any info on Who Created It (CIA?) or who named it (CIA?) but I did read some of the effects of taking it recreationally and Hmm I Could Do Worse Than Living A Life With Crack Cocaine!!!  I mean the endgame isn't great but I'd probably be having fun for a while!
    One thing I've thought about suicidal people is hey just get into hard drugs why not might as well give it a shot.  Maybe that's what People Do Do.  Why there's a crossover of suicidal people and drug users.  But there's gotta be a lot of people who kill themselves without even CONSIDERING doing crack, heroin, whatever.  Irresponsible!  Give it a shot maybe you'll like it and you'll die in a few years anyway maybe or maybe you get decades out of Crack Use Hey You Have Your Whole Life Of Using hard Drugs AHEAD OF YOU!  I guess you need to be financially secure.  You don't wanna reach a point where you're addicted as fuck and then can't afford more.  That's a downside to this plan, surely.
    Ok, suicidal people-- new plan.  Start playing the lottery.  Give that a few months.  You don't win any lotteries in a few months?  Okay off yourself.  You do win?  Take the ONE TIME CASH PAY OUT and then the fun begins!  Anyway, I dunno.  What else is going on and crap.  Also when talkin' about these protests, for the white people who know/kinda know what's been going on with Police Abusing Authority To The Extent Of Murder-- since we've known about this, we've sort of accepted this and this is how we think of police in general.  White people new to this idea?  They're not scared of police.  They're like oh well this is terrible obviously we can and will address this.  They take for granted that image they have of how Police In America are and whose beholden to who.  And maybe that ignorance WILL WORK OUT TO OUR ADVANTAGE ALLRIGHHHHHT!
    Okay suicidal people-- write another paragraph to finish this section.
  I'm not suicidal!  C'mon get out of here with that bullshit.  When I was a kid, around ~10 years old for a couple of years, I was depressed to the point of suicidal ideation, but not in the sense that I ever planned or even wanted to, to any degree, commit suicide.  Just to the point where I was really depressed and was like well some people at this level of depression kill themselves... obviously not for me, though... and they gave me Prozac and MISSION ACCOMPLISHED GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE!!!  There was a while when Prozac was ubiquitous for treating depression, I think.  Mentally Ill Depression People And Treatment was kinda new to the social consciousness and Prozac must have had a great advertising  campaign cause That Was It!!!  Now it's like 3 dozen Just Anti-Depressants that people can list off even if they don't take 'em.  I'll be back son!


To ComFort Others, We Must First Comfort OurSelves!!!

    Hey what else is going on and crap.  Anyway if I could send out one message to people it'd be Don't Use Your Imagination.  Sometimes things are too important You Gotta See For Yourself!  Anyway, that's how I feel.  Anyway, I will Almost DEFINITELY have a bagel WITH BUTTER.  I was thinking about taking the butter out of the fridge for ROUGHLY TWENTY MINUTES to soften it up but my Dad was like When I make your Mother ("Mom") an English Muffin with Butter I just use it straight from the fridge and I was like FINE YOU'RE GONNA BUTTER SHAME ME?  I'M LESS OF A MAN CAUSE I WANNA SOFTEN IT UP FIRST THROUGH THE MAGIC OF ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE I CUT A PIECE AND SPREAD IT?  FINE WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY!!!
Anyway just watched the video of George Floyd's brother speaking.  Powerful stuff!  Kinda made me feel like I wanna watch a 22 minute Retrospective of Who George Floyd Was.  Let's get to know the man, c'mon!  I Like Documentaries Already.  If I can waste 42 minutes about The Boy With The BIGGEST HANDS I can watch 42 minutes of The Life of the man who's life ENDED in tragedy And See What We Were Deprived of.  I bet he was a good guy!  I dunno, what else is going on.  Will George Floyd's hands have grown to monstrous size if his life hadn't been taken?  We will never know!  George Floyd might have liked Tales From The Crypt.  George Floyd might have subscribed to Disney Plus.  The point is the best way to know a person is what entertainment they consume.  That's MY hot take on things!!!
    Also there will be people who die from CoronaVirus because they chose to attend protests.  That's just a fact.  I dunno how many.  But, crunching the numbers, its gonna be some.  Also they should have arrested the cop who killed Floyd for not social distancing in the first place!!! Poor taste I dunno but I will soon have Buttered Bagel to cleanse my palate.  I did like how the Cop Who killed George Floyd's Wife filed for divorce.  GOttemmmmm! Derek Chauvin.  Well, let's put it all out there-- Chauvinist.  If Not ME pointing that out, who?  Anyway there is some bad news on my front in that A week or so ago I got these Frozen Empenadas and now it turns out the only recommended way to cook them is to fry them on a skillet or something I Don't Know What That Is And I Don't Think I Have That.  I assumed I could just Oven 'Em Up.  Maybe I can but there's no instructions for it!
    Also, just watching ONE video of people protesting (The George Floyd's Brother One)-- I can't say its like this for 100% of protests-- but these people aren't ENFLAMED IN CHAOTIC ANGER-- I mean, they might be, but mostly on the insideOn the surface, though, they're engaged In Heartbreaking Loving Existential Anger--  they're comforting each other THROUGH their anger.  Trying to get PAST it, not trying to INDULGE in it.  I think that's something people should grasp.  Because it breaks the right wing narrative completely.  I dunno, what else is going on and crap.  And yeah I know there's hundreds (thousands) of protests going on and they're all different sure I know I'll watch videos of each and everyone one day I Promise You I'll Get Around To It Or Just Make a 42 Minute Documentary About It And Add In Some Scenes With Kids With Giant Appendages And Now You've Got My Attention!  Anyway, I was talking about it earlier in the week so I'd be remiss to not mention I dunno what the stuff about Outside Agitators.  Not sure what's really going on there but either way I'll wait for the documentary on that one!  AS LONG AS DOCUMENTARY COMES SOON YOU BETTER PUT THIS ONE TOGETHER RIGHT QUICK.
    Last paragraph of the section!  I dunno how this is gonna turn out.  I was more hopeful today than previous days, but I have no idea.  Anyway, I have 13 cents on Poker, ISN'T THAT ENOUGH FOR ME?  WHAT MORE DO I WANT?  MORE DOCUMENTARIES OF PEOPLE WITH BIG HANDS???  This is the 3rd episode of This DOCUSERIES.  The 2nd episode was of YOUNG MEN AND ELDERLY WOMEN IN SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS.  The 1st episode was, uh, what was it again... Oh, right.  World's Biggest Hips.  Women with ridiculously large hips.  You know Important Stuff.  Anyway at this point it looks like I'll write one more section of the entry for today.  I'll be back!


Ya Know I Can Do Without This Bagel and Butter

    Anyway, life wrapped around back to World's Biggest Hips.  No Episode 4 Or Season II!  That's the end of that.  I mean, the bagel is fine.  The butter is fine.  It's just, I dunno, I thought it would be different, ya know?  I think because of the Quarantine, News Stories are being given a litle bit extra room to breathe.  For a couple reasons.  FIrst, obviously, the Coronavirus has been the top story for months for obvious and legit reasons.  Then, also, because of the Coronavirus, a whole lot of us are just inside watching TV and that means we can follow stories a little bit deeper and more intensive than Cable News type outlets have been giving us for a while.  So then these protests are being given more room to breathe and its probably for the best, right?
    The point is I dunno what I'm gonna do for the rest of the day but I feel better now getting Feelings off my back even if I look dumb for now.  Tomorrow I'll have them refined a little bit better and then we'll see whose dumb!  Still me but man oh man the Day After That OHhhh boy those feelings will be slightly better.  And over time I will become Enlightened In All Aspects And Areas.  The point is there's another Amityville Horror movie to be seen this time presumably actually taking place in Amityville.  Scary Stuff.  I like horror movies of the last 5 decades because  its like ok there's been a dozen really successful horor movies, commercially and critically--- let's make 80 more of each just to see what happens.  Takes balls to remake the same movie over and over and over again without shame.  All sorts of balls!
    Ugh.  What's going on in my life.  I don't have a life.  I watch Documentaries, Bad Horror Movies, and Read Twitter.  I'm as disappointed in it as you would be... were it to be... you... twere in my space.  Anyway life goes on.  Probably.  How come whenever I see video of someone wearing a mask, they always take it off to talk.  C'mon you're exposing yourselves!  I can hear you presumably while wearing a mask.  I don't need to read your lips I CAN HEAR.  I dunno I guess that's it for now.  Tomorrow will I be in a Funnier Headspace?  Sounds That'd be my guess June 2nd lol sounds funny to me.  See ya later.

-4:32 P.M. 

Contact: mankindguy@gmail.com