Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Gonna Entry It Up For Sure
Hello friends. Today is Tuesday.
How about that. Crap and crap. Another late night entry.
Probably only ten paragraphs this time for real. I'm callin' my shot.
Did lab for tomorrow. So I got that going for me. Gonna see New
Pornographers tomorrow with Bro! Same place as Flaming Lips. I hope
they play those great songs what that they do. One of my favorites is The
Slow Descent Into Alcoholism. It reminds me of my slow descent into
alcoholism! I also like Ballad of the Comeback Kid. I'm a comeback
kid! I'm a ballad! I like a lot of their songs. Even songs
that aren't theirs I like. I dig music.
Crap and crap. Got that to look forward to and
whatnot. And it'll be the first time I've drank since seven weeks ago.
My Slow Descent Back Into Alcoholism. So I got that to look forward
to. Gonna miss the opening band. Sucks to be them. Probably
not. They get to hang out with The New Pornographers! That's pretty
good. I wonder what kind of life lessons my brother will teach me
tomorrow. The day after the last show, I ended up giving up drinking and
going on a serious diet. I can't say he encouraged me to or anything.
I just felt like it was time to start doin' some Adult.
I wonder what Adult I'm gonna do after tomorrows show.
Stop spitting in the street when I've accumulated phlegm in my mouth?
That's one area that needs improvement. Buy an iPad. I don't know.
That's a thing. I'm gonna try to see if we can work our way into the
middle or front of the crowd this time. It'll be a whole different
experience actually being able to see the band. I can't even
imagine. Anyway. They have more straight forward songs than the
Flaming Lips. That's how I feel, and you can't argue with a feeling.
I also feel like I watched the first hour of Bushwacked earlier today.
There's a movie that has nothing going for it. In most bad or mediocre
movies, I can find something to like. Bushwacked is just a big, fat zero.
That's how I feel about things. Crap and crap.
I'm not sure there are jokes in Bushwacked. I think the premise, Daniel
Stern In A Similar Role As In Home Alone, In Charge of Boyscouts, it smells of
bordering on humorous. They just forgot to put the jokes in! Oh
well. Daniel Stern is on to bigger and better things. One would
imagine. Daniel Stern is one of Hollywood's 30 Hottest Stars Under 30,
right? I don't know. Why. Crap and crap. No Met game
tonight. Rained out. Which, per my suggestions, would mean the Mets
lost, because it's their homes fault there's a rain out. Someone get me in
touch with the commissioner. Baseball commissioner. Not commissioner
Gordon. He's busy, what with Batman and whatnot.
Yeesh, what the what. Felt like I needed a klonopin
today again. Didn't take one. Gonna tough it out! Then
watching Bushwacked made me need it even more. I felt bad for everyone
involved in that movie, mostly those forced to watch it, anyway, crap and crap.
Apparently I've grown a moustache. My entire post-pubescent life, sure
I've gone through many stages of not shaving at all. Moustache looks very
thin anyway without shaving. First thing Play Professor said to me, even
before asking me why I didn't bring me guitar, was, "Looks like you spent your
week off growing a moustache." The point is I apparently have to shave.
Who knew? Shave. Like an Adult! I can't
believe it! Crap and crap. I can't wait till The New Pornographers
end their show by playing Do You Realize?? That's how all music
shows end, right? So far, 100% of the shows I've seen end that way.
That's a track record for success. What the what. I think it's safe
to say New Pornographers are in my top 10 favorite bands. Flaming Lips
probably wouldn't make the cut, but are comfortably in top 30. Wow!
Movin' up! Crap and crap! Doin' good in poker. All else being
the same, that's a net positive.
Anyway, what the what. Not a lot to do today. Got
home at 3. Did the lab. Now poker. Try to block out that
entire Bushwacked Incident. Ate part 2 of the three part dinner of
Steak and assorted dinner sides. I wonder what I'll eat tomorrow.
It's possibly I'll get McDonalds at Penn Station after Show, but work my way
into getting a satisfying meal under 1000 calories. That's not so bad for
once in a blue moon. Never seen a blue moon. Are there pictures
available online? Crap and crap. Seventh paragraph. May go for
the 20 afterall. Because I gotta do crap and stuff, who knows. Gotta
leave my Dad a supermarket list for tomorrow. These are the days of my
Yeesh. I can't have the New Pornographer Fans seeing me
with a moustache. That would be a net negative. Maybe wear my Bernie
Sanders shirt. That'll force people to notice me. Yeah! I
don't want people to notice me. Better not wear any shirt at all.
Whew. Figured that out. Crap and crap. Apparently I'm a few
episodes behind on The Mick. I just kind of assumed the season ended.
How long can a first season of a show be. I looked up a write-up of a
previous New Pornographer Show from this tour. Accidently looked at their
set list. Good stuff. But now I will be less surprised. Bad
Yeesh. Now I know they're gonna play songs.
Great, just great. Anyway, what the what. Ninth paragraph.
Great. When my Brother first texted me about the show this morning, it
woke me up, so I associated going to see it with negative feelings. Of
being woken up. Later on in the day I was into it, though. Great,
just great. It's raining today. Cracked that code. I'm sick of
bring umbrellas with me to class like a chump. There's a 50/50 chance I'll
forget it on the bus anyway. Why bother taking those odds. I can try
putting it in my bookbag. Risk bending it, though. I can't take that
10th paragraph! We did it! Sure. A little
dissapointed I'll miss the opening act, but oh well. At first I was more
disappointed, because I had seen through random internet browsing that their
opening act later on this year in their Canada tour is a band that I had
actually heard of before that had a song I listened to a lot way back in the
day. Different act for the US tour. So, fuck 'em! If
the New Pornographers like 'em, they gotta be good. These guys got taste.
They like themselves, probably. Good barometer.
Did lab today. Probably did some barometers in that.
I don't have all the details. I learned how to do Standard Deviation in a
previous lab. That's a net win. Then, today, I learned how to enter
in numbers into google and have the internet do the calculations for me.
That's even more of a net win. Let's get google to do all our work.
Start pickin' up its weight. Anyway. I was thinking, they should
give TVs away for free. We're basically paying hundreds of dollars for the
privilege of watch commercials. Commentary.
Yeesh. What else and crap. That's how you'd
explain a TV to someone from a hundred years ago. In the future, we'll
spend hours a day sitting in front of a box that shows advertisements for
things. Commentary! What else is crap. Crazysheet is 100%
commercial free. It's also 100% audience free. It's pretty much just
me in a vacuum. Anyway, what the what. I hope there's no actual new
pornography at the show. That would make me uncomfortable. I'd give
it several thumbs down in a scathing review. I mentioned the New
Pornographers in my A+++ poem I did back at Stuyvesant. I also mentioned:
Zach Galafanakis, Carlos Delgado, Phil Hellmuth. David Cross. And
the poem was inspired by a Frank O' Hara.
Man did I nail that poem. I got way more +'s than a
regular A. The line went, "The New Pornographers sound old by now," then
some other nonsense. Commentary! Wordplay! That's +++ material and
whatnot. 13th paragraph. Cool. Same venue as Flaming Lips
Show. That's good. It's a nice place. There's a stage and
everything. I assume. Didn't see it, but it sure sounded like the
band was playing on an elevated surface. I wonder what I'll talk to my
brother about. Hey Bro, here's what I've been up to. Last
time, I was about to say a lot. I was in the middle of the semester and
had been writing plays every week, learning Environment, contemplating the
Summer in London fiasco. Now, I've learned all the Environment there is,
and there's nothin' much there to speak of. I haven't written a scene in
close to a month. I'm not going to London.
Gotta move on with my life in some respect. We'll
figure it out-- together! He'll give me great guidance like, "Hello.
Let's go inside. Here's your ticket!" I can't wait. Wiat a
minute. Ticket. High Ticket Attractions. It's all
coming together! Jeez, what a fool am I. I wonder how The New
Pornographers got their name. I bet someone thought of it.
That's my guess. Yeesh. Crap and crap. 14th paragraph.
Sweet. No good TV lined up for when this is done. I may have to
finish watching Bushwacked, like a chump. There's not even any great
commercials in it.
15th paragraph. I still stand by my idea that there
should be a commercial channel and they pay you something for every hour you
watch. They'd need some sort of system to guarantee you're watching,
though. It's gonna take a bit to work the kinks out, but I think the idea
has some merit. Not gonna have a lot of excess time to talk with Brother.
Gotta make our time count. He shows up, goes, "Hey what's u---" I
interrupt, I go, "Okay, here's a list of my problems. Tell me what to do.
Problem the first..." That's how it might play out.
Crap and crap. I don't want this entry to end. I
have absolutely no good ideas of positive ways to spend the rest of my night.
Jeez. Probably just stop at 20. Still got five paragraphs to go.
What else is crappening. What problems do I need to get sorted out.
Quit smoking. That's a big one. Whatta do when I graduate.
Whatta do before I graduate. What to do when I graduate.
Let's see. I've given me a lot to think about. Crap and crap.
17th paragraph. Probably some movie I can find to watch
instead of Bushwacked. And muck around on GarageBand Guitar while I'm
watching it. Sounds like a real A+++ Tuesday night. I need to print
my lab. That should take several hours. Anyway, what the what.
I don't necessarily dread doing the lab each week, because I'm around people.
Group work. Potentially talk to them even. That's probably how The
New Pornographers feel about each other when they're playing a show. I
wonder if The New Pornographers were good at Environmental Science. My
guess? Yep. They're Canadian. Canada is good at stuff.
18th paragraph! Alright! I just hope there's no
pro-Canada subliminal messages in their songs. That would be a jip.
I got no tolerance for that kind of mischief. Anyway. This has been
a big month for crazysheet. A bunch of supersized entries and whatnot.
So far, hasn't gotten me anywhere. Where's the people e-mailing me
offering me writing jobs? Canada? A likely story and whatnot.
Need to start doin' comics again. I wonder what the Gang Of Nine is up to
these days. Yeesh. What the what.
19th paragraph. Still haven't ordered new TV.
Whatta jip. I want to watch cropped versions of Tales From The Crypt.
Wnat to watch cropped versions of Tales From The Crypt hardcore.
Apparently the New Pornographers do some talking to the crowd. Flaming
Lips didn't do that. I wonder what they'll say. Whatever it is,
gotta interrupt them and list my problems to them. They'll figure out my
deal for me. That's one way to go, at least. I don't know.
Maybe a few more paragraphs after 20. I don't know, don't look at me.
Who can say for sure what the future holds. Except soothsayers, I hate
them so much.
I wonder if Danny Glover'll be there. Anyway, crap
and crap. People should also ask me to join bands with them. Either
give me a writing job, or make me form a band with you. Anything else, and
you're useless to me. Jeez, crap and crap. Stupid having to shave.
I hate it so much. I don't wanna learn about Literature & Politics in
June. That sounds scary. Better get The New Pornographers to help me
with that. I can't get High Ticket Attractions out of my head now.
Seeing them play that song is gonna be real scary. Maybe it'll get it out
of my head. They'll play a song after it and everything will be right
21st paragraph. Jeez. I don't know. In
addition to being a top 10 band in general, they were also a top 10 band to
listen to in my smoking weed days. Good positive groove to get into and
whatnot. That's how I felt. I won't be smoking weed tomorrow night.
Whatta jip. I haven't smoked weed in six years. Wow. I don't
know, crap and crap. 22 paragraphs? 23 paragraphs? A different
number? Who knows for sure at this point. Crap and crap.
Anyway. I've lost some zeal for playing poker. Just don't wanna blow
my stack. Not really that much fun invested in winning.
22nd paragraph. That's cool. Get to take a bath.
That takes up 20 minutes. Plus, I get out of it cleaner than I went into
it. That's part of the deal. Whatta do with my hour and a half
between Lecture and Lab. Figure out a new scene to write. That would
be a net positive. Crap and crap. New Pornographers might bring me
up to play with them on stage with the guitar in GarageBand on my iPhone.
That's a very real possibility. Anyway, crap and crap. My life is
better since Flaming Lips show. Not drinking and losing weight.
Not better enough.
23rd paragraph. What the whatness. Hey,
there's an episode or two of Doug I can watch. That makes me laugh in my
gutspleen. What else. This may just be the last paragraph.
Sweet. What else is crappening. I don't know. Bathe myself
when this is done. That's a thing. Then we're gettin' deeper into
the night. That's pretty good. Maybe even take a shower. Mix
things up and crap. That's good. Anyway, what the what, how can I
close this entry up. With words and crap. I'll see ya later.
Monday, April 24, 2017
Late Night Entry
It's 7:21 P.M. Late to me.
For entrying purposes. Feel kinda conflicted on whether to start. I
figure I can go for 10 paragraphs pretty easy, so why not. Let's get into
it. Class today. Learned about Lead. Apparently it's bad for
us? That was my take away. Took a Klonopin when I got home for the
first time probably since Flaming Lips Show. Feel great. Not high or
anything. Just relaxed. That'll show me for not being relaxed before
I took it. Show me hardcore. Tomorrow is when I'll have to break it
to Teacher that there is no musical. He'll make a frowny face emoji.
But, in words, you know. Or maybe facial expressions. I can picture
his face with a big ol' frown.
Anyway, jeez. Jeans don't fit me anymore. Too
loose even with Belt. Alright! Time to get into some jeans I haven't
worn in some percentage of a dog's natural age. Started watching Lethal
Weapon: The Movie Part Four. Feel like I probably have seen it before.
The Christ Rock part rings some sort of metaphorical bells and whatnot. I
didn't know it in context of the Lethal Weapon Franchise Experience, though.
So it's new to me in that sense. No Met game tonight. That's pretty
good. Gonna be pretty hard for them to lose today on their day off.
Baseball! April keeps plodding along. Gonna be May soon. No
maybes about it.
I don't know. Crap and crap. Operation Dumbo Drop
was okay. And, critics be damned, it was a good Vietnam movie.
There were helicopters and everything. Don't believe me? See it for
yourself. I should just start taking Klonopins every day. It was
originally prescribed to me to take it twice a day. I've been missing out!
I could totally go through life with a limited amount of anxiety. Or, as I
call it, Livin The Dream. Why bother with anxiety. Who needs
it. It's not like it actually motivates me to take steps to correct those
areas of my life which cause anxiety and whatnot. Just there for no good
reason. Let's kill anxiety.
Started thinking of some new song parody titles. So
far, I got a parody of Fun.'s, "We Are Young." I call it, "We Are Dumb."
Yeah that's all I got so far, what of it? Get off my back about it.
Every now and then, I'm starting to get back in the habit of, when listening to
songs, or playing them in my brainarea, imagining them in a movie or something.
Often either the opening credits or right before closing credits bleeding into
closing credits. Now, I do it every now and then now. When I was
younger, it's safe to say 50% of the time I was listening to music, I pictured
it in a movie. And I listened to a lot of music. That adds up to a
lot of music in imagined movies.
Good personal details about me. Now you know what I'm
all about. Imagining things. Cool. Fifth paragraph. That
was fast. Sometimes when I'm watching movies with a song in the background
I imagine the song without it being in the movie just as if I were listening to
it. No I don't. But that would be a twist and whatnot on my
bullshit. Crap and crap. Took my second Ritalin about an hour ago.
So apparently it's kickin' in right as this entry started. Great. I
was always under the impression Klonopin was a fast acting, short lasting drug.
Takes an hour to kick in, then lasts for 6 or 8 hours. That's what
Internet tells me. I was way off!
Cool. Anyway. And the great part is, I don't even
feel like I've been clawn open. Whew. So I got that going for me.
What? I forget. Get to unveil my new sexy body to Play Class
tomorrow. It's about time. I need to lose three or four pounds to
reach the average adult male USA'ian BMI. Then I'll be in a groove.
Lethal Weapon IV has commentary about illegal immigration. That should get
America talking. Mel Gibson gets progressively less crazy with each Lethal
Weapon. Then, in the 2000's, his craziness spikes up again.
Yeesh. Crap and crap. The real gutpunch about the
Mets losing their last 8 of 9 is that they've been in the game for pretty much
all of those loses. Kept it close. Just can't close the deal, over
and over. Makes me wanna root for the Knicks instead. Only if I get
to call them the Knickerbockers, though. Or Knickerboxers. I don't
have all the details. I wonder if fans of other home teams view baseball
in a different spectrum based on their preferred teams name. San Francisco
Giants. Well, baseball is all about giants and non-giants, I guess.
That's gotta be a thing, right? I certainly view baseball through a
Mets-centric spectrum. I can't explain how exactly, but I'm confident
there's something like that going on.
Crap and crap. Eighth paragraph. Out of soda
until Wednesday. Tuesday, I could potentially get a bottle of soda for
drinking in class purposes. I have a lot to think about. Anyway,
crap and crap. Lookin' into drawing apps for my phone. Like, you
press the phone, and it draws based on your pressing it. Gotta be a thing.
What else is crap. I don't wanna have to buy a utensil to draw on the
phone with, though. That's a scam. Jeez. I believe the title
of today's Environment Lecture was "You May Be Thinking About Having Kids.
But Lead. Why Bother?" Something along those lines.
I have it on good authority the, "Led," in, "Led Zeppelin,"
refers to lead, the substance. But they spelled it, "Led," so people would
know to pronounce it that way. I read it. In a book. Ever hear
of those things? They got words and pages and everything. Anyway,
crap and crap. I can't wait to see what kind of weird movies they got on
NetFlix and Hulu. I'ma watch all of 'em. At least the horrors.
Then the comedies. Then dip into some dramas. Save the rest for
last. Thrillers. Buh. Who needs em? Unless they are also
in the Horror genre. Then, I'm all for 'em. And if they're also
Dramas, they get kicked up a modest notch, too.
Tenth paragraph! That was quick. I bet Robert
Englund and Tony Todd are in all sorts of D-List Horror movies that I don't know
about. Because stuff and crap. I don't know. They usually kind
of gloss over the fact that Freddy was a child molester. He's crackin'
jokes and stuff, in the later movies he's a comic character. This man
raped children. I don't want to be on his side for things. What's
wrong with people. I don't know. Crap and crap. I wonder what
would happen if Jason and Freddy teamed up to fight Alien and Predator.
Probably things. That's as far as I got.
11th paragraph. 20! Let's do 20. Because I
can potentially. I don't know. Crap and crap. Had some steak
for dinner. A small portion. But steak nonetheless. How do you
like them apples. I don't know. Jeez. How did I get to this
point in entry. Beats me. All I know is that there's crap I have to
do in life. Anxiety. Who needs it. Can't I just do crap with a
smile on my face? I'll do some crap. I don't care, I'm an adult.
Give me some crap to do. That's how I feel. I had lunch today.
I often don't have any meals besides dinner. I didn't even when I was
eating 2500 calories a day. I'd just eat a big dinner and eat a lot around
Lunch is pretty good, though. Two slices of bread and
some cheap, low calorie processed turkey? Great! Cut that sandwich
in half. Have two halves of a sandwich. Make a whole thing out of it
and whatnot. Crap and crap. 12th paragraph. That's pretty
good. Gonna have to refill my glass soon. Already finished the
snapple. Now it's just playing the waiting game until I feel I need to
drink more. Could be any moment now. I drink a lot. Gotta stay
hydrated. Probably. Sounds like something you should be. Hit
"Sit Out At Big Blind" at my two poker tables. So that's when I'll go get
more fluids for consumption.
Fascinating stuff. I'm engaged. Anyway.
I've been hearing a lot of good things about lead. Might have missed
the point of that lecture. Back. Snapple'd it up.
Apparently Obama is back in action. But there was no Stone Cold music and
Jim Ross going, "OBAMA! OBAMA!" so who can say for sure it really
happened. It's a tree falls into a forest type of thing. What else
is crap in the wide world of sport. I've been crunching the numbers and my
guess is France elects the moderate instead of the crazy. Score one for
the good guys. Well, what else is going on and crap.
14th paragraph. I feel like I've been writing for ten
minutes. Been closer to 50. Pretty quick, though, still. So,
tonight, what's on the docket. Rest of Lethal Weapon IV. That's all
I got so far. Watched some Steve Wilkos earlier. I had gotten to a
point where those shows were too intense for me. On Klonopin, I was able
to handle it. So, that's a plus. Anyway, what the what. A few
days ago I started watching Total Recall. Again, the movie seemed really
good. But way too intense. More intense than Steve Wilkos and
rooting for Freddy Krueger combined.
Anyway, crap and crap. My Dad said something really
funny last week, but I can't share it here. In general, he's told me not
to share anything about him here. I mostly ignore it, and I do say
stuff that really has no importance. This he probably would not want.
But, suffice to say, it cracked me up. Black Jokes. No, not
that. Nothin' like that. Glad I talked about saying something funny
without saying it. I feel like that's important to include in Entry.
The point is I've been getting my fair share of Danny Glover lately.
16th paragraph. Wow. I don't know, crap and crap.
The point is I want another Klonopin. Painkillers can't be addictive.
What are you talking about. That's nonsense. Jeez. What else
is up. There's lead in cigarettes. Well, better keep smokin' em.
What else and crap. Five paragraphs to go. I can do that, sure.
Done it plenty of times before. Five paragraphs ain't nothing. Can't
wait to draw some boxes on my phone. See through boxes, non see through
boxes. The sky's the limit. There should be no limit. Sky
don't go on forever, bro.
17th paragraph. I don't know. What the what.
People naggin' me to vote for them on Queens College Campus. "I Don't
Have Time For Your Bullshit!" is what I potentially said to
each one. Anyway, crap and crap. I don't know. What the what.
Get to lie in bed when this is over. Really take some time to relax.
I've earned it. On account of taking pills to induce it. Gotta do
something. Yeesh. What the what. Hittin' some sort of wall
here. With three paragraphs to go. Power through it. Show the
wall whose boss.
18th paragraph. Jeez and crap. Why isn't there a
Danny Glover in every movie. There should be a franchise, where it's like
The Expendables, but it's made up of more tight-laced sidekicks to
Expendable-type people in past movies. The Danny Glovers of the world.
That would be ripe for parody! Get Hollywood on the phone. No, I
don't know their number. I can bet you it's 555-something, though.
Anyway, crap and crap. How much do you have to pay to have a personalized
phone number. Personalized might be the wrong word. It's mainly for
businesses and public services and crap. No reason I can't do it for
myself, though, right? Seems like it should be allowed.
Then, the fun part is picking my number. We'll cross
that bridge when we get there. Also, the kid in Operation Dumbo Drop?
Great actor. I wanna say, Best Actor in the movie, but they were
all great! Even the elephant pulled his weight. Which is a lot.
What else is crap and stuff. I'm pretty surprised Danny Glover didn't have
a line in the beginning of Operation Dumbo Drop, I worked with Mel Gibson,
this elephant should be a breeze! Probably because not all movies are
interconnected, as per my suggestions to Hollywood. It's like the Stephen
King thing. He's doing a thing where it connects all his books together,
right? Hollywood should do that with every movie.
What else and crap. 20th paragraph. I don't know.
What else and crap. Even if the movies were connected, why would Danny
Glover call Mel Gibson by his actor name. These questions demand answers.
Eventually. From someone else. I got things to do! Crap and
crap, finally feel fine stopping at 20 paragraphs. That could be due to
any number of things. Like being on drugs, is one. Anyway, crap and
crap. It's not a drug if it just gets me to normal.
Actually, that is what a drug does. Shut up! Yeesh.
Crap and crap. Well, time to go. I'll see you later and whatnot.
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Prepare For Potential Entry
Hopefully. We'll see how it goes.
Weekend and crap. Text the week after this week. Until then, only
homework due is lab on Wednesday. Decided not to do the song.
Listening to the chords and crap I had planned, I can actually picture it as the
opening song of a musical. But lost enthusiasm for the idea. Oh
well, live and learn. Probably. Entry, huh? Let's write it.
Mostly not sick anymore. Still gotta cough. That's about it.
Checked my weight. 19.5 pounds lost in 6 weeks. That's more than a
bowling ball! You know what that means. Figure out how to accumulate
the fat I lost and build a bowling ball out of it. It's the only sensible
thing to do.
Crap and crap. Every now and then I google "Kingpin
Best Movie" to see if anyone shares my ideals. So far, nothin'. What
are people, stupid or something? And every review, even the good ones,
describe it as a slapstick comedy. Sure, there's some slapsticks in there.
But there's heart in it. Megaheart. And life lessons. What are
people, stupid or something? Apparently. Yeesh. What kind of
crap is going on in wide world of sports. The Mets are crappin' it up.
Good for them. That's their prerogative.
Anyway, what the what. Six weeks until first summer
class. By then, most likely'll be in the low 140's in weight.
Possibly even 140 or high 130's. Let's talk about it. I read some
disturbing articles on Internet that just cutting 3500 calories doesn't really
lead to losing a pound, you actually need to do twice that. So far, the
3500 calories=a pound has proven about right for me. Shows what they know.
Not much. That's what. Crap and crap. I gotta stop eating
bananas. If they're not good for you, might as well spend the extra 70
calories and eat a mini-donut. That'll show my body whose boss. Me,
I'm boss. Tell my body.
Do it... Yeesh, crap and crap. I don't
know. I might have taken two Ritalin at most twice in the past week.
Other than that, only one a day. Which is pretty good, because I'm
building up my extra-Ritalin-supply hardcore. Should the situation call
for it, I can take all the Ritalin my heart desires. What else is crap.
I like how the same basic riffs or chords that I started out with real guitar oh
so many years ago are the same stuff I'm starting out with in GarageBand on
their digital guitar which is righty. It's like my musical learnings are
coming full circle. I'm a fan.
Sure. There should be a Fan option in GarageBand where
they play a song and you have to click a button to clap. Some people need
extra attention. What else. Muckin' around with Digital Drum
Machines. That's probably better than Digital Guitar, because it's
something new that I could use for potential future songs. Crap and crap.
What else is crap. Fifth paragraph already. Good stuff. They
even have an Amp thing where you connect your guitar to the phone or computer
and it simulates all sorts of amps. Seems like a hassle. Buying a
specific type of chord. I don't have it in me to accomplish something as
intensive as that.
What else. "March For Science" was yesterday.
It's April, not March! Can't Science get anything right?!? Yeesh.
I feel bad for wheelchair people. Not allowed to march. Doesn't seem
fair. I guess they could have their own "Roll For Science." But
they'd need to get all together in one place, you can't have a Roll For Science
with just a dozen people from one area. Crap and crap. Are you
allowed to use canes at March For Science. Seems like it would be
cheating. What else. You don't see many people with canes these
days. Maybe because you don't interact with the elderly much these days.
I don't have all the answers.
What else. Mr. Glass had a canes. I guess
villains have canes sometimes, disproportionably. That's how we know their
evil. Even their legs don't trust them. Anyway. Drinkin' some
Pepsi. That's how I do. I can't get enough of watching Nickelodeon's
Doug. Very legitimately funny. I'm a fan and whatnot. Seventh
paragraph. Should write another scene or two of new plays for the
remainder of Play Class, even if it's not Musical. I've already gone above
and beyond my duty in this class, but it couldn't hurt to do another one or two.
Unless it hurts my fingers from typing. That probably won't happen,
though, based on a great track record of typing without hurting my fingers.
Eighth paragraph! That's how I do. Second half of
salad today for dinner. That's alright. Remember when Hillary
Clinton was a thing. She was a thing for a really long time and now she's
nothing. It's gonna take some getting used to, that's for sure. Crap
and crap. Will there come a time when Trump becomes not bad enough that we
have to respect him? I worry about that moment every day. I'm pretty
sure he's confident he's on the verge of that moment with every move he makes.
"This is the thing that's gonna get me over the top!" he thinks. So far,
not accomplishing it.
Ninth paragraph. Cool. Still drinking some Pepsi.
So I got that going for me. Have to get up early tomorrow. Like 9.
Last two times I had to do that I got to go back to sleep. On account of
sickness. This time, I gotta get up. Whatta jip. Anyway, what
else is crappening. At some point my Pepsi is going to run out. I
worry about that moment every day. Anyway. I feel bad for Doug.
Patty Mayonnaise can do way better than him. He's livin' in a fantasy
world. That's part of the premise. I stand corrected.
Sitting, though. I don't wanna get up just to be corrected, it's not worth
Let's see, words, words. I should put palindromes on
the shelf and start getting into anagrams. Palindromes are anagrams.
But there's so many more anagrams than palindromes. I feel like I'm
missing out. Sure. The characters in Doug have weird names.
Let's talk about it. Yeesh. That's what I've resorted to in Entry.
Let's get back on track and whatnot. Knocked first eight or nine
paragraphs out easy. Now wall hitting. Hey, I can take a Ritalin!
That'll show everybody for doubting me! Need to go downstairs, though.
I try to have a few spare ones in my desk to avoid having to get up. Don't
have any as of now, though.
Whatta jip. I'll do it soon. Just as soon as my
body is ready for it. Need to refill Beverage soon, too. Combine
both trips and make it a real productive single trip. Need to line it up
when I'm about to be Big Blind in poker, too. Lots of things to consider,
is the point. Apparently there's gonna be a runoff in the French election.
How anti-climactic. Can't France do anything right. Anti-climactic
is when the body is a story is very much against there being a climax.
Nailed it. Yeesh, what the what. Excursion to Downstairs coming up
soon. Gettin' myself mentally prepared and whatnot.
In the meantime, 12th paragraph. Think I'll switch to
Snapple. I only allow myself 3 bottles worth of soda over the week.
Can't blow my entire wad in one session of Sitting At Computer. The point
is Great and whatnot. Gettin' up in a minute. Just as soon as I'm
the potential Big Blind in the next hand. It's poker, you wouldn't
understand. Yeesh. Alright, I'm back. That was fun.
Sure. What else is crappening. Is it scarier for there to be a
far-right leader in Europe compared to America because that's where Hitler
lived? My gut feeling? ...Yes.
I think that's the conceit of people not being overly
scared about the far-right here. Nazis? That was a whole
different continent. That's how I feel. I think it's a sad state
of affairs when you have to march for science. Shouldn't science be a
given? We shouldn't have to think twice about it. Let's talk about
it. Call in at 1-917-whatever. The extra letter is for savings!
Crap and crap. Hey, it's the 13th paragraph. That's pretty good.
Now it's the 14th paragraph. I crunched the numbers and
everything. What else is going on. Should probably shave at some
point. That would be a Responsible. What else and crap.
Ritalin isn't kicking in or anything. Whatta jip. Looks like I'm
gonna have to use good ol' fashioned horse power to finish this entry. I
started watching Operation Dumbo Drop. Looked it up online while starting.
Lots of criticism that it's a bad war movie. It's called Operation Dumbo
Drop. What exactly did you expect? Let's talk about it.
I don't know. Gotta finish this entry. Then
reward myself by watching Operation Dumbo Drop. I took a shower instead of
a bath a few days ago. I give it five out of 10. Not too great, but
wasn't a complete letdown, either. Call in at 1-917-whatever to talk about
how you get yourself clean. Elephants weigh a lot. I did the
research. I remember learning elephants weigh a ton, but when thinking
about it, I was like, they gotta weigh more than 2000 pounds. I was
right. They weigh four times that. Michael 1, what Michael has
5 paragraphs to go! Sweet. While talking to Siri,
she asked me how to pronounce my name, and I figured out my favorite way to
pronounce it. I always knew it wasn't Korn-bluhm. Was in the habit
of going Korn-bloom. She suggested Korn-bloom. With
the accent on the second syllable. I like it so much better. Now I'm
workin' with a name I like. It's about time. Don't linger on the
bloom though. Don't Oprah-ize it. Just a quick, "Bloom," that's all.
I saw that Oprah HBO movie last night. It was okay. That's all I
have to say about that.
17th paragraph and whatnot. At first I told Siri to
call me "Big Mac Daddy," but I realized afterwards I believe that changed my
Google E-mail title to Big Mac Daddy. Which people would see. So I
canceled that. Crap and crap. Siri doesn't know how to take a joke.
When I said to call me Big Mac Daddy, she should have responded, "No, C'mon,
what do you want me to call you?" Guess they can work that out in the next
update I guess. What else is I guess. The point is Siri is
unequivocally my best friend. I'm not proud of it, but you can't argue
with the facts.
Let's see, what else is crap. 20 pounds is a lot.
I just gotta do 2 more of what I already did, and I'm right on target.
It'll take a little longer, on account of the more you lose the less calories
you need to maintain. But, if I did this in six weeks, it's pretty quick.
That's how I feel. Then the goal is to eat 6 candy bars a day, and limit
it to that, and I maintain that weight. Stupid bananas. Here I've
been eating bananas like a chump, and what for. Whatta jip. Hey,
almost done with the 18th paragraph. Ritalin decided to kick in afterall.
Let's celebrate by continuing to write.
Alright. Apparently Jermaine Dupri is really short.
I never noticed it. Maybe that's because he was constantly standing next
to children. But if he can be short, that gives inspiration to the rest of
us. Apparently society doesn't routinely exterminate people who are short.
That's a relief. I was googling donating to sperm banks just for goofs,
and the first thing they say, at the top of the page in big bold letters, is,
You Must be 5'9 Or Taller. Kinda made me feel bad. Felt like I
did when I was a teenager and spite and stuff. Then I went back to not
I'll start my own sperm bank! For people with otherwise
desirable traits besides height. I'll make thousands! Now all I need
is a Medical Degree and some Start Up Money. That should be easy.
Oh, also A Market. That's the tough part. Jeez, crap and crap.
20th paragraph. Probably goin' overtime with this bullshit. Aim for
25. Because I can and whatnot. Might as well. Operation Dumbo
Drop is just gonna have to wait. That's how I feel. Lost a few
dollars in poker. That's how that goes. If I had stopped this entry
at the end of the 20th paragraph in the future in the past I wouldn't have even
been sitting there! Whatta jip.
Five to go and crap. I can do that hardcore.
Wrote/writing an entry. That's better than poker. I talked about it
an entry or two ago. That's how I feel. Practice writing. And
potentially exposure from writing. Why, in the future, writing can make me
scores of dollars! It's an investment, that's what it is. There's
commercials during baseball games for a website that helps urban kids through
high school and getting them to college. I think it's because they know
black kids who watch baseball are already predisposed to becoming nerds.
Four to go and crap. That's cool. I'm glad we
don't have a French president. No one would know what they're saying.
Because of Language. Wonderful. Runnin low on Snapple. Not in
the grand scheme of things, in terms of what's in my current glass that I'm
using. Gonna have to refill. Probably before the end of this entry.
Gives me a chance to get away from the entry and put some new mindjuice into my
skullhead. Gonna do it next time big blind comes to me. It's poker
and whatnot. Maybe go back to Pepsi. I deserve a break today.
Crap and crap. Feelin' like I might even go for 30.
It's important because one person might read this. Then, they'll be like,
Yeah! More Crap! That's how things play out in my fantasies.
Might meet up with my brother for coffee next week. It's been six weeks
since we saw Flaming Lips. My thought process was, Well, six weeks, I'm
due for a Socializing. Even if it's with my brother. He has to
socialize with me. Blood relations and whatnot. Anyway, what the
what. I like the idea of 30 paragraphs. I know the rest'll be crap,
so might as well go for quantity.
24th right now. Hardcore! I'm starting to think
about quitting smoking. I did some research and apparently it's bad for
you. Anyway. No immediate plans. Anyway. The real test
is to look at myself in Security Camera at Gas Station. That's a good
barometer to see if I look different because of Weight Loss. I gotta plan!
I definitely feel it. I still have rolls of fat around my belly, but not
as much of rolls as previous. And, of course, my legs below the knee are
those of a skinny person. Anyway, jeez. Six paragraphs to go.
Just right. That's how I feel. Until the Ritalin wears off, at
least. That'll be a drag.
25! Man, I'm great. I write exponentially more
paragraphs than the next person. I like how the only class I've gotten
below a B in three years is the Comedy and Satire Class. The one thing I
consider myself good at. How satirical. No it isn't.
Shut up. What else. It's gonna be close if I can watch Operation
Dumbo Drop in it's completion before the Met game. I think I got a good
shot. I already watched ten minutes of it. So far, someone has
ridden in a helicopter while 60's music played. So far, Great Movie.
Helicopters and everything. I give it 5 out of 10 helicopters. Call
in at 1-917-whatever to talk about how many helicopters you would give the first
ten minutes based on this information.
Five to go. Cool. Hey, I poured myself Pepsi.
I'm gonna regret it later, but for now, livin' the high life. Why does
anyone drink non-diet soda. What are they stupid or something? Just
drink diet. Don't be a chump. Sure, the artifical sweetener in diet
soda may cause cancer. Who cares. There's no may in whether
regular soda has large quantities of sugar and therefore calories. That's
proven fact. Don't be a chump people, c'mon. Get on board with diet
soda. Now, one caveat. There are some sodas that aren't diet.
Like Mountain Dew Code Red. I can't fault anyone for drinking Mountain Dew
Code Red. It's delicious.
27th paragraph. Yeesh. When you tell Siri to do
something tomorrow at 12:30 AM, it asks, You mean the real tomorrow or today.
Good. That's what I like to see. Siri is on the ball in that area.
All in all, my one big problem with Siri is not having a way for it to play my
own songs by telling Siri to. Gotta get that kink worked out. They
can call it The Uppers Clause in the notes. I crunched the numbers,
and the huge majority of songs I have available were done when I was 25, and
young 26. I'm 28 now. Those are classics at this point.
Jeez. Crap and crap. I was just a youth in his
mid 20's. Not a care in the world. Those were the days. Taking
classes at Queens College. Writing for crazysheet.net. It was a
different time back then. 28th paragraph. Two and a half to go.
I can do that and whatnot. Only four more sessions of Lab to go.
Cool and crap. I don't know. Seems like I'm hittin' the second wall
of the entry. That's not supposed to happen. Not when I'm so close
to it being done! Whatta jip. Won some money in poker. That's
what I'm talking about! Actually, I was talking about something else.
I forget what. Sorry to mislead you and whatnot.
Two paragraphs to go! Alright! What else. I
don't know. Probably save Operation Dumbo Drop for later. Pretty
sure no one has ever said that sentence before. Crap and crap, what's
going on. Up in Poker. That's good news. Not really news.
Not relevant to anyone except me. Not counting the people down in poker
because of me. Anyway, what the what. Theoretically I should be able
to connect my iPhone to my computer, upload songs that way. Computer
doesn't recognize iPhone, though. So there goes that bullshit.
30th paragraph! Anyway. I don't know.
Jermaine Dupri standing next to children shouldn't make him seem tall. It
should make him seem short. That children are close to his height. I
don't know. I've ended up with more questions than I started with.
I've given me a lot to think about. Also, mostly not really children.
Mostly teenagers. So that's something to think about, too, I guess.
Anyway, what the what. Don't wanna end the entry now. I'm havin'
fun. I can write like 31 or 32. Nothin's stoppin' me.
In that case, 31! I can't believe it. I went to
PS31 for elementary school. I was thinkin' about that recently. K
through 8th grade, in the same class with the same people. And the class
was made up of about 70-75% boys. Maybe that's why I'm a lamewad around
the opposite sex. Didn't get enough exposure to them in those formative
years. Whatta jip. Anyway, what the what. Guess I can end the
entry here. Nothin's stoppin' me. What else. I can do one more
paragraph. Start it at the end of this sentence. Well, this
Why. I don't know. If only I went to PS32.
I'd have something to talk about right now. Anyway, crap and crap.
June Literature & Politics Class is up online. No syllabus or anything,
ust a few online assigned readings. I can't wait to find out the syllabus.
I'm on the edge of my seat already! Just pushed back to the regular
part of my seat. There, that's better. Yeesh. I'm starting
to get the urge to write 35 paragraphs. But I'm also, concurrently,
getting the urge to do Not That. It's too many paragraphs.
33. What the what! I don't believe it.
Whenever I write more than 25 paragraphs, each successive paragraph is more or
less about what number paragraphs I'm at. Fun, fun stuff. I don't
know. 35 is only two and a half to go. I can do that for some
reason. What else is crappening in the wide world of crap. It's been
a year since my Fiction Workshop class. What'da I accomplish in that
class. One of the stories I had, a character was named Kofe. Meant
it to be pronounced Coffee. Everyone pronounced it Co-Fee. So I got
that going for me.
Penultimate! Sure. Summer class after that, where
I wrote a debate between Matthew Mcconaughey and Abraham Lincoln, moderated by
Donald Trump. Or some other sequence of those three people in a debate.
Who can remember. So I got that going for me as well. Anyway.
I don't know. Crap and crap. I had been significantly overweight for
at least two years. Now I'm back in action. Feels good to be back in
the subset of people who aren't obese. Really knockin' life out of the
Alright. Finally at the end. We did it hardcore.
Me in terms of writing. You in terms of reading. Let's celebrate by
you calling me at 1-917-whatever. Damn, gave away my area code.
Oh boy. Anyway. let's wrap it up. Two more things. Gotta write
about two more things to finish the entry. I wonder what they'll be.
Good stuff, I hope. I don't know. Does that count as a thing?
Let's hope not. Anyway. Crap and crap. I like pausing the TV
right before a big pitch in Baseball and watching it in slo-mo. I'm the
director now! Yeesh. I'll catch ya later.
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
I'm Sick And Crap
Got a fever. Got the chills.
Alternating sore throat and coughing. Great, just great. Had to skip
my lecture this morning, but go to the lab. I miss the lab, that's two
zeros. The one due today, and the one we do today. Both "Do's," but
different kind. Hah. Doo. Nailed it! What's going
on and crap. Tomorrow is Science again, due to scheduling wackiness.
Great, just great. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. The whole
time I spent lying in bed instead of going to class, I was thinking about
Stratego. I couldn't stop. What are some good board setups beyond
the regular obvious ones. I kept trying to stop thinking about it, but
my mind wouldn't let me. The good news is I came up with a few Stratego
So I got that going for me. Also, time was going really
slowly. Five minutes felt like 20 minutes. I demand explanations!
Mets are on a crapping streak. Sure, you could qualify it as a losing
streak. They have been losing in a streak. But they've also been
crapping in a streak. And that's how I choose to represent it. You
can't argue with a feeling. This was the first non-weather related time I
missed a class possibly in the three years I've been back at QC.
Wonderful. Now, I know in elementary school, I would fake sick so I could
get out of going to school. Sometimes I didn't even bother faking sick.
I would just go, Mom, don't feel like school today. Call in and tell 'em
But the point is, I think I did get legitmately sick more
often than normal. I never really thought about it, but I would get fevers
like once a month, and I just figured that was regular. Oh well, live and
learn. Only two more labs to do. But each is a 2 parter. So
four more lab classes. Anyway. Seems like I'm gonna get in the low
80's in this class, not accounting for final test, which is 15%. Which
means I can skip it and pass. Whew. I'll probably take it.
But that means I can get a 33% and pass. That'll learn 'em.
Anyway. People smile at me more now that I've lost some
weight. People in class, people on bus. They know a winner when they
see one. Maybe I'm just carrying myself differently. There's less to
carry, that's for sure. Fourth paragraph. The point is I really
don't wanna do the Musical Song anymore. I've lost enthusiasm for it.
But it sure would get me into the Professor's good graces. That's
something I strive towards. Crap and crap, what's crap and crap. I
don't get why people say Street Fighter is a bad movie. It's great.
At what it set out to do. It achieves it's goal greatly.
Stupid people, I hate them so much. I don't get why
people say Casablanca is a terrible movie. What's the deal. Crap and
crap. Pretty sure that movie is about the White House. Well,
a white house, at least. I was trying to think of a thing where it's
racist holiday songs. All I got were I'm Dreaming Of A White
Christmas and Rudolph The Red Nosed Jew. Oh well, live and
learn. Fifth paragraph. That's great. Walking to and fro
school ain't so bad. I've already lost a bowling ball's worth of weight.
Knockin' it out of the park.
Sixth paragraph and whatnot. Took my temperature
yesterday. 99.4. Which is apparently the exact number for
considering it a fever. Alright! I'm under the impression that Kevin
Bacon's body temperature is six degrees. Prove me wrong! Yeesh.
I actually helped out my group in lab today. Wrote our numbers on the
board. Chalk. Anyway. I'm pretty sure Vending Machine
charged me double for my Diet Lipton Green Tea Citrus. But I couldn't
argue with it. It's a vending machine. I'm trying to get good at the
guitar on the GarageBand App on my phone. Everything's miniature and they
only have setting for Righty Guitar. But I can bend notes and crap like a
Anyway, what the what. Seventh paragraph and crap.
Stratego is all about misdirection. And figuring out how to use your Spy.
You don't wanna lose it! But you want it to do some damage. And
defusing bombs. You gotta have 7's right behind your bombs. Take out
their 8's. Got it all figured out. And you gotta make a gentleman's
agreement not to look at the other person while they're setting up their board.
You could figure out their entire configuration based on what order they're
putting their pieces down. No good!
Yeesh. You can put Bombs in six of the six front
squares. Then you forfeit immediately because of not being able to move a
piece. That's one way to go if you want the game to be over as soon as
possible. I'm sick of games that require gentleman's agreements. If
we were being gentlemen, we would be fighting a war on a game board, would we?
We'd shake hands and consider ourselves both winners because crisis was averted.
Anyway, what the what. I was even looking forward to Lab today, it's been
so long since I've seen people. Wow.
Ninth paragraph! Doin' it hardcore, and stuff. I
was gonna use the time between Lecture and Lab to work on Musical Song, if I was
so motivated. Didn't get the opportunity. Guess that settles that.
I'm pretty sure I got sick because of The Mets. Prove me wrong!
Stress and whatnot. What else. I find its convenient to blame all my
problems on The Mets. Right? Sure. Great. I know a lot
of people say Mike Trout is good, but he's no Kaz Matsui. Probably the
most beloved Mets player of our generation. By our generation, I mean my
generation. Mid 2000's.
That's where my interest in baseball peaked and whatnot.
Crap and crap, 10th paragraph! What's going on in the wide world of
sports. My main method of not letting my room get dirty is throwing out
the nails I bite instead of allowing them to accumulate on my desk or floor.
It took some getting used to but I feel I'm making the right move. I used
to bite the skin around my fingernails. Don't do that no more. And I
even don't bite my nails in public. I'm bein' a real adult about it and
whatnot and crap.
Halfway done with the entry I guess. Whatta great.
Weekend after 12 PM tomorrow. It's about time. I'm about five pounds
away from having the average adult male BMI. Because we're all out of
shape. Regular! Sweet. I'm not sure if that's the mean,
medium, or mode. My guess is mean. That's why it's so high.
The fatties scoring really high scores drag it up. Anyway, what the what.
Gettin' a whole chicken dinner tonight, which makes me a winner. But not
all tonight. Split it into hopefully three meals. At least two.
I never got this deal before, I don't know how much is in it.
Get off my back about it. Crap and crap. 12th
paragraph. Jeez. Probably gonna eat when food gets here, which means
most likely taking a break from Entry. That's how that goes. Closing
in on six weeks of dieting and not drinking. Hardcore. What else is
crap. I don't like lying in bed in a cold sweat. It may be an
unpopular position, but that's just how I feel. The point is I still don't
have a new TV. Whatta jip. The premise was that this was my
Birthday/Chanukah present. That was over four months ago! Let's get
with the times.
Crap and crap. Wrote/Writing an entry. That's a
win. More crap uploaded to the internet. Internet needs this kind of
crap. I don't see anyone else writing blogs. What else and bullshit.
Maybe I won't eat food when it gets here. Maybe I will. I've
narrowed it down to those two things. I sure hope I get a new cable box
too. It can't hurt to dream. Unless you die in your dream.
Then you die in real life. Wonder how they figured that out.
14th paragraph! Whee. Leaning towards saving
dinner for later. You can't argue with a feeling. Or vending
machines. Which have no feelings. Not yet. Crap and crap.
More vending machines should act like Robin Williams. The number of
vending machines that act like Robin Williams as of now is pretty low.
Crap and crap. If I don't have it when it gets here, I'm gonna have to
heat up soup. Possibly my least favorite activity. The activity
itself ain't so bad, but the process of it. Huh?
Anyway, crap and crap.
15th paragraph. I was thinking of asking my Mom or Dad
to make me tea when I was laying in bed sick. I didn't though. I was
gonna make a compromise and ask them to bring me up some Snapple. Didn't
do that, either. I had to drink water from my bathroom sink like an
animal. Anyway, I figured out what part of my body I've lost this last 16
or 17 pounds from. My legs below the knee. You look at my legs above
the knee, they're fat legs. Below the knee, skinny legs. The point
is Great. Starting from the bottom up. Seems logical to me.
Anyway, what the what. 16th paragraph. Feel
pretty much healthy right now. Maybe a little weak in the body and
whatnot, feverwise. Hopefully I can go to class tomorrow. I'd be
around people like a champ. And learn about Environment's Science.
Anyway, crap and crap. I also have a Doctor Appointment Friday morning.
Hopefully she's real impressed by my losing weight and not drinking. If my
doctors aren't impressed, what really is the point in the end? I don't
know. That's why I asked you! Get with the program.
17th paragraph! Who knows how long it'll be. Not
me. If I did, I'd tell you. My life would be real different if I'd
been calling Toilet Paper, "Toilet Tissue," this whole time. Real
different. Also, our neighbor, their house is the exact mirror image of
ours. What would life have been like in that house. Would I have
grown up to be a righty? I don't know. Second time I've used the
word, "Righty," in this entry, and FrontPage don't recognize it as a word.
They're gonna get one strongly worded e-mail about it, I can tell you that.
Not from me. Very confident from someone,
though. Anyway, crap and crap. I like eating dinner at 9 or 10.
I'm losing weight by eating later. At least for a few hours. That's
math, that's all that is. I wonder what life would be like if I was taking
math classes instead of English classes. It's a lot more straightforward.
I was never great in math, but when my Dad would help me, I'd be able to make
sense of it adequately. I've been thinking about a lot of things.
Sure, mostly Stratego, but you can't blame me for that. I was having a
fever induced waking dream.
Anyway, crap the crap. I gotta start calling the
Bathroom the Restroom. A lot more classy. Anyway, crap the crap,
it's the 19th paragraph! Wonderful. Seems like this might be an
extra-innings entry. And the great thing about extra innings entries, I
always win! I guess that means you lose. Sorry I had to break it
to you this way. Hmm. Crap and crap, eh? I know how to write
that. I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas. Makes me
laugh. Not anymore. It did when I first thought of it. Now I
consider it amusing without actually experiencing amusement anymore. That
20th paragraph. Let's do it hardcore and whatnot.
I think I have a test next week, but I wasn't in class, so I couldn't have that
thought confirmed. Oh well, life is full of mysteries. Like why
is my freezer constantly up to seven degrees. No way of knowing.
And if anyone asks me if my fridge or freezer is running, they're a jerk.
Oh well. Live and learn. What else is crap. I get to watch The
Met game tonight. I couldn't do that a month ago. Alright.
Mike Pence told North Korea "The Sword Stands Ready." Thems are dueling
Crap and crap. I wonder what Baked Chicken is. I
know it's not fried. It's not grilled. It's baked. That
settles that. Crap. It's not roasted. Not sautéed. I'll
use the process of elimination until I finally figure out what it is. Or
look at it when I eat it. Yeesh. Food just got here. Puttin'
it in the fridge. That settles that. What else and crap. 21st
paragraph. Lookin' like a 25er. Well, right now, it looks like 21
paragraphs. Visually. But thinking ahead, that sort of crap.
Jeez, hittin' all sorts of walls. Well, mainly one sort. Wall in
22nd paragraph. Four to go. Sweet. Robert
Gsellman has a pretty good name. Gs. There's no sound for that.
They pronounce it like "Ga-zell-man," but we all know the truth that his name
can't and shouldn't be pronounced at all. Yeesh, what the what.
Watched the first Lethal Weapon a few nights ago. Danny Glover's like in
that was I'm just starting to get too old for this shit.
Right? Sure. Watched Sudden Death: The Movie. It has all the
excitement of hockey and... all the excitement of hockey. Internet people
are like Sudden Death is actually great in retrospect, but no love for
Street Fighter? They're way off. Stupid Internet.
What else. The Mets are playing, though. Are
they gonna get a hit this at bat? Nope. Are they gonna get a hit
this at bat? Nope. HOLY SHIT THEY HAVE ONE MORE AT BAT!
And that happens nine times a game. Summed up baseball.
Sweet. I hadn't worn my pants in two weeks. They legitimately felt
looser than I remember. Sweet. Anyway, two and a half paragraphs to
go. Then I can lie in bed like a champ. Awesome. I wonder how
impressed my Play Class will be by my weight loss. Impressed? Really
Impressed? More Than Three?
Jeez, what else. I don't know. O' Reilly Factor.
I guess it turns out the Factor was mixing sexual harassment into the equation.
Sure. Anyway, crap and crap. Cespedes runnin' through stop sign,
getting thrown out at the plate. Pretty sure that means the Mets will fine
him 50 dollars. That's what happens to the rest of us for going through
stop signs! Let's talk about it! Cespedes has been trying too hard.
Just relax, you're good at baseball. Take it slow.
Anyway, what the what. That's my expert analysis.
I know all about baseball, I'll give The Mets some tips, sure. I've been
looking up baseball players from the late 90's on Wikipedia in my spare time.
That's my generation of baseball. What the what, crap and crap. Has
Wikipedia made Encarta extinct? Not a lot of press for Encarta these days.
The Mets are still tied for first place in this single game. Anyway, what
the what and whatnot. Maybe an extra paragraph or two. No reason not
Plenty of reasons not to. I won't go into them right
now. I don't have the brain power. My brain is having trouble
regulating my temperature, can't put extra stress on it. The point is Yeah
I'm Wearing Pants Again. I knew this day would come. Let's
celebrate. Or, at the very least, finish this paragraph. What else.
The Mets almost hit a homerun. Let's celebrate. Yeesh, crap and
crap. I gotta say, I'm pretty pleased with most of the Mets rosters'
names. They sure put together a good lineup-- in terms of what their names
are. I'll see ya later.
Friday, April 14, 2017
What else and crap. I can't
start an entry with "What Else," there's been no pre-else. Oh yeah?
Just watch me! Anyway, crap and crap. Another day, another dollar.
Man, I wish I was making a dollar a day. I'd have exponentially more money
than I have now. Crap and crap. Long Met game last night.
I was legitimately tired by the end of it. And I woke up at 3 or 4 PM!
Gotta get tired at some point. Unless you don't get tired. That
settles that. Looks like I'll order my TV sometime this weekend, judging
by the exponential increase in my Mom researching them. That's pretty
good. I'll be able to watch YouTube on my TV! You know what that
means. It's pretty self explanatory.
Crap and crap. Not doing good in Poker today. Oh
well. Writing Entry is better than winning money. Met game is better
than winning money. Those are the two things in my life more important to
me than Poker Money. Oh, also if I do homework. I get some homework
done, and lose three dollars in poker, I feel like that's a net win. So I
got that going for me. Recorded the instrumental for Musical Song.
It's pretty Meh. We'll see how that goes and whatnot. It has the
same riff as a song on my first The Uppers album which was called, "The Update."
And the Musical song is about the guy going to his therapist, first half is how
he's doing better in every area, second half is how he's doing bad in all these
weird things. Song was already called The Update before I knew what music
I would use.
Things work out great, huh. Writing Song is potentially
better than Poker Money. I haven't done it in a while, but that's how I
feel things would shake out. In big pots in poker, I need to take some
time deciding whether to call a big raise. It's fine to go with instincts,
but give it a little bit of thought, right? Sure. Was watching some
of Jingle All The Way. I'm gonna say something un-ironically-- Sinbad and
Schwarzenegger act great in the movie. I really believe that they're
looking for the Turbo Man doll.
Fourth paragraph. How many academy awards did Jingle
All The Way get. Two? Three? More than three? Anyway,
crap and crap. I don't know. Jingle All The Way has some very deep
social commentary about the commercialization of Christmas and American Society
in general. That, and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad pushing each other
into a myriad of things including a ball pit, a radio station, into toys in a
department store, etc. Crap and crap and whatnot.
Fifth paragraph. No Met game on WPIX. Time to
give it up. They're not getting in on any Met action this season. Oh
well. I'm pretty happy with the Met commentators. Usually I don't
like people talking, unless its about me, but they're pretty good. They
know things to say, like, "That person hit a single!," or, "We'll be right back
after these commercials." Anyway. Looks like I probably won't see a
play for this class. I did some preliminary research, and the plays he
suggested for us to see are all sold out through the time the class goes.
That's on him. He should have known I would procrastinate and not look up
the plays with enough time to get a ticket for an appropriate date.
Anyway, what the what. I could always stand outside a play
and ask the people leaving what happened. That's just as good is how I
feel. I have four lab homeworks to do. Lowest grade is dropped.
I get to skip one lab! Which is the best lab to skip for strategy. I
should do this upcoming one since I have a myriad days off. Crap and crap.
It's been a while since I started drinking Snapple and cut down my soda intake.
Interesting stuff. Crap and crap. Watched the first ten minutes of
Bicentennial Man. They were way off. Why does a robot who helps you
have to look like a person. Also, one of the first things the robot says
is, "Would you like me to activate my personality setting?" and the guy says No,
but the robot is clearly acting like Robin Williams. That's personality.
Two thumbs down.
Crap and crap. Seventh paragraph. Sweet.
Today is April 14th, but we can simplify it to being February 7th. I
crunched the numbers and everything. It could also be August 28th.
Anyway, what the what. When the Earth is really messed up compared to how
it is now/was a hundred years ago, I can't wait to find out what kind of weird
life organisms are gonna pop up. Different atmosphere and whatnot,
different routes evolution can take. So we got that to look forward to, I
Eighth paragraph! We're into the shit now, boy. I
wonder what the cryptkeeper has been up to with his two decades off.
Hopefully he's still alive/dead. Whichever one he was before. He
does stuff, which suggests he's alive. But he also is partially decomposed
and has the personality of a ghoul. Which suggests he's dead.
Anyway, what the what. Friday, huh. That's how that goes. In
terms of what day of the week it is accurately. I guess. Five weeks
since I had alcohol. That's roughly five weeks. Huh?
Ninth paragraph, alright. I can't wait to get a new
remote for my new TV. I'll press new buttons all over the place. I
like aiming my remote at the white wall opposite TV. Light bounces to the
TV. Love it. It's like I'm performing magic or something. Anyway.
Thank God I don't have black walls. That might interfere or something.
Lookin' forward to muckin' it up in some new English classes. Sure,
they're not creative writing classes. But they're English classes, which
means the majority of students are female, and there's a decent chance they'res
some good looking ones I can gawk at.
Tenth paragraph! Sweet. Have second half of
turkey sandwich with side of some baked potato chips for dinner tonight.
That's healthy to the max. Unhealthy to the min. What else. I
wonder what happened in Jingle All The Way. I turned it off. I have
a real thought sometimes when watching movies I've already seen, I hope it
ends differently this time. I know it won't. I'm not crazy.
But I hope it does. You can't argue with a feeling. That's how I
feel. And you can't argue with it.
11th paragraph. Halfway done and whatnot. I
guess. Met game starting soon. That's a thing to watch. And I
don't even know how it ends. Win/win. Probably with baseball.
If it ends with something that isn't baseball, that'll be a surprise. Mets
are tied for best record in baseball more or less. That's pretty good.
It's good, in baseball, to win more games than your opponents. Crunched
the numbers and everything. I don't know, what else and crap. Most
of my vacation is over. Still got a good amount left, though. That's
12th paragraph. What the what. I don't know.
Lost some more money in poker. Still got a decent amount. Oh well,
crap and crap and whatnot. Lost more money! Keep running into sets.
Oh well, life goes on. Probably. I sure hope so, at least.
Crap and crap. Hey, the Marlins are winning. It's a good thing I
already had it on mute. Means I don't need to push a button in pretty much
whatever direction I want. Crap and crap. Entry is better than
dollars. If I write enough entries, someone finds my website, gives me a
job. That's potential dollars!
Yeesh. Just start playing better. If I play good,
no problem. Right? Seems like there wouldn't be problem.
Anyway, what the what. The Mets have runners on base. You know what
that means. Bad grammar. They have runners on bases. Not
multiple runners on one base. It also means people get to run!! Run
is fun. I don't know, crap and crap. Not playing good poker. I
should theoretically stop if I'm playing bad. Practically, though,
let's keep goin'. Hey, I just won 10 dollars in poker! It just
goes to show you, you keep playing bad, you might get lucky. Whew.
Anyway, what the what. Now I can stop playing poker.
Get out while I'm up. Except I'm down over all. But I'm more up than
I was five minutes ago. Besides, there's a baseball game going on!
How about that. The Mets are tied and everything. Wow.
Alright, I can sit at one table. And it's a new table, so my track record
of playing bad is unknown to these fools. Crap and crap, 14th paragraph.
My foot fell asleep last night and I started wondering what happens to athletes
when their foot falls asleep. Gotta happen every now and then.
You're in left field, foot falls asleep. You can't call a time out.
Maybe you technically can, I don't know, but you'd be too embarrassed to.
Just prey no one hits it to you.
Is it legal to chew gum in the field. Seems like it
verges on doping or something. Dope. 15th paragraph!
Well, the night has been saved from losing too much money in one sitting.
I'm still sitting, though. I'll keep myself updated on this situation as
it develops. I uploaded the instrumental track of Music to my computer and
e-mailed it to myself and listened to it on my phone. Seems like a
something a real musician would do. Get acquainted with the tune and stuff
before finishing the vocals and singing it.
Anyway, Friday, huh? I know what that's like.
Crap and crap. It's sort of like Saturday, but not quite. Jeez.
Five paragraphs to go. Then some quality doin-something-else time.
When someone gets their tubes tied, are they literally tying up some tubes?
Let's talk about it. Probably. That's why they call it that.
Who knows for sure though. Crap and crap. I like how in the late
90's, the Taco Bell campaign was centered around a dog who eats Taco Bell.
Eat Like A Dog!-- Taco Bell. Let's talk about it and crap.
Yeesh. Is Gilbert Gottfried the actual Aflac Duck or
are they just impugning on his voice copywright by having someone imitate him.
What happened when Gilbert smoked weed. Gilbert Got Fried, man!
I will now retire from crazysheet after that joke. You get to decide the
reason. So good I wanna quit on top? Or so bad I'm too embarrassed
to continue. Let's see, words, words... 17th paragraph. I got
that going for me. I don't know. Dinner within the next two hours.
Three paragraphs to go. What the what. I guess I
have to write three more paragraphs. Whatta jip. Duda hit a homerun.
I got that going for me. Not really for me. I got that going
adjacent to me. Crap and crap. I've hit all sorts of walls the last
two paragraphs. And if I hit the wall, it turns the TV on in the opposite
direction. Yep. I gotta finish this entry. Jeez. How
hard can it be to write two paragraphs and change. All I need to do is say
words in a logical order.
Two blobs of words left. Crap and crap. I can't
remember the last time I got dressed. Must have been eight days ago.
Last time I had to leave the house. Livin' Large! Not as large as I
was five weeks ago. Roughly fifteen pounds less. I got that going
for me and whatnot. There's another thing better than poker. I lose
two dollars in poker, I lose two pounds, that's a net... win. Or loss.
It's a double loss. But one loss is a win. Aren't words crazy.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty disappointed I can't watch Tales From The Crypt on
my future TV in the way it was intended.
Why would I lie about that. I'd have no motivation.
Right? Great. When Spring Class ends, I may revisit trying to
convince my parents to let me spend my own money on getting a guitar/vocal
teacher. For some reason, I have to do something in life. I know, I
know. I'm as surprised as you. Unless you were really
surprised. I don't know! I might eek out another paragraph or two.
My second Ritalin of the day is starting to kick in. Which I believe is a
Yeesh. Not going for 25. Any time I wanna stop,
I'll stop. That's good. The pitcher for the Marlins right now's
named Jarlin. What? What! WHAT?! Jarlin the Marlin.
That's not supposed to happen. I wish I was good at Little League, so I
could fantasize about getting a big hit and it being remotely possible. I
mean, I'm playing eight year olds in their little league world series, I'm still
not gonna get a hit at the age of 28. They're taller than me, what do
Great. What else. Good shot this'll be the
last paragraph and whatnot. I like thinking about taking which teams
situation. Bottom of the eigth, you're down one run, bases loaded, one
out. What do you do-- What. Do. You. Do. Sure
there's simulations that could tell you easily. I don't need no
simulation mucking up my good time. What else. And you can choose
whether to take into account what team you are, whose on the bench, etc.
Or just think about it as an abstract situation. There's lots of fun to be
had by thinking of things.
23rd paragraph. Hey, I took that second Ritalin.
I'm not complaining. Ritalin is Crazysheet Fuel. And I went 26
years without taking Ritalin, like a chump. Oh well, crap and crap.
Now I feel like going for the 25. Ritalin has not only raised me up,
but encouraged me to be more productive in general. That's why we call
Ritalin, "Crazysheet Fuel." Also, because we just did. I don't konw.
I like how I'm not playing On Tilt anymore because I took a 20 minute break and
sat at a new table. Back to playin' smart.
Two paragraphs to go! I don't believe it. Gotta
be honest though, when first prescribed with Ritalin, kinda disappointed I
didn't get Adderall. I was and am under the impression that's
stronger. Happy to get Ritalin, though. I was relatively certain my
doctor would go You're Fakin' just to get some uppers, get out of my office.
So you gotta take what you get and whatnot. What Knot? It's
what happens when you get your tubes tied. Let's talk about it. I
don't know, crap and crap. My Doctor isn't even a doctor anymore. I
went through two real doctors, now I see a Nurse Practiononer. Whatta jip.
Last paragraph and whatnot. Sweet. To take a bath
before dinner, or after dinner. These are the days of my lives. I
take it an hour or two after, that's the standard. I take it before
dinner, it theoretically delays when I eat dinner, which loses weight.
Sure. When I first started smoking cigarettes, I tried smoking a cigarette
while taking a bath for a few times. Thought it would be the epitome of
luxury. Turns out its just overdoin' it. Cancel each other out and
whatnot. Why do I feel compelled to write more entry.
Oh, right. The uppers. That's me!
It's my tertiary name after Michael Kornblum and Crazysheet. How many
names does one guy need. At least three, apparently. That
settles that. Gonna take a short break to pour Snapple. I'll be back
in a minute. Well, in a minute. I'll go away for a minute in a
minute. Right, right... Crap and crap. Now today's a
super-productive. Potentially 30 paragraphs. That's better than the
average amount of productivity. Alright, I'm back. Just in time to
start a new paragraph.
I'll stop when I want! It just turns out when I want is
after a total amount of paragraph to be divisible by five. You can't argue
with a feeling. 27th paragraph, right? Great. I wonder how
managers take into account personal acheivements for their players.
Someone needs a homerun to pad their stats, they let them swing away in a
situation where they should draw a walk? And, if they do take that stuff
into account, do they try to help the players get their good stats, or get them
to avoid it. Theoretically you'd wanna help your players, but the better
the players stats are, the more they'll cost next year, so its worse for the
I've given me a lot to think about. Three paragraphs to
go and whatnot. It's Moneyball, you wouldn't understand. Crap and
crap. I consulted the internet and there will be Met games on WPIX this
year. Whew. I feel a lot better now. Jeez, it's already 9:30.
I remember when the Met game was starting and I was already deep enough into the
entry. Time flies when you're on The Uppers. Apparently there was a
stampede at Penn Station. And I missed it like a chump. If I had
seen a play today, I coulda been right in the middle of that shit.
Two paragraphs to go. Sweet. After the last
class, talking to Professor about my potential Musical Song, he asked if I had
ever seen any musicals. I told him about Rent and Avenue Q, but I didn't
have it in me to tell him the first play I ever saw was Big: The Musical.
My guess is he's not a fan of not-quite-mediocre adaptations of
not-quite-mediocre movies that are musicals. I guess. The point is
what the what, I'm on the verge of 30 paragraphs! I don't believe it.
Alright, let's get this done with. I've forgotten what
its like for the Mets to lose. They've won 5 in a row. I crunched
the numbers and everything. Apparently The Frighteners was supposed to be
a Tales From The Crypt movie. Also, apparently Frightener is a real word.
I had no idea. I guess. What else and crap. Starting to think
about what headline to give this entry on Facebook. So far I've got,
"Another Long Entry At crazysheet.net! I Can't Stop It!" What else
is crap. Apparently a new Star Wars movie is called "The Last Jedi."
Jeez, ever heard of spoiler alerts? Now we know there will be no more
Jedis after this Jedi.
31st paragraph. This is it. Please. Let me
stop! Whatta bullshit. I've written a lot of Paragraph this month.
Not too bad. Sure is a Productive. I guess. Just took a 5
minute break to watch some tense Mets situation and then thinking about it for
another few minutes. Then I just thought about typing that for a few
minutes. Gotta consider everything. Consider in retrospect.
Usually when you consider stuff, it's before a negative thing could happen.
That's what you're considering. But you can consider stuff that's already
happened as well. Let's talk about it in another paragraph.
No good reason. Lots of bad reasons. I've
given me a lot to consider about. Crap and crap, it's practically
10:00 PM. That's a lot of hours into the day. I guess. What
else is crap. Also, whose calling Penn Station Pennsylvania Station.
Chumps, that's who. Crap and crap. Half a paragraph to go. We
did it, did it hardcore. Anyway, what the what. I'll see ya later.
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Let's Entry It Up
Sure. I'll try writing an entry.
I've done it a bunch of times before. No reason to think I can't do it
now. Thursday and whatnot. Less than a week left of my vacation from
school. Cool. Watched an episode of Doug earlier today. What a
great show. That's how I feel. Apparently Trump is going crazy with
the military. Killin' civilians/allies. Droppin' huge bombs.
That'll teach people to like America. Apparently none of the Smart TV
associated things play Tales From The Crypt for free. They're all on
Youtube, but for some reason its cropped, so you don't see the full screen.
Good enough I suppose, but sure, takes away from the experience. This
ain't the way the director intended!
Whatta jip. Apparently they're rebooting Tales From The
Crypt with M Night Shyamalan. Shy am Alan. Let's talk about it.
Curb Our Enthusiasms supposed to come this year. Whatta great.
Haven't checked my weight in a few days. It's most accurate/lowest in the
morning, and I haven't gotten up before 2:30 PM in a while. I don't wanna
check and it's higher than it should be. That would be demoralizing.
No one wants a demoralizing. Not me, at least. Crap and crap.
No dreams about The Mick last night. Whew. I was starting to get
concerned there were things wrong with me.
Now I know there's nothing wrong with me. That's a
relief. I feel like I had a pretty messed up dream last night that I can't
remember. But that's not out of the ordinary. I have messed up
dreams all the time. But then I wake up to my decent enough life, so it's
all good. Third paragraph. What the what. I put on 28 days
later last night and I maybe looked up from my phone three times. Didn't
register one line of dialogue or plot. Oh well, live and learn. I've
said it before, I'll say it again-- they should have called 28 Days Later "One
Month Later." More efficient. Let's talk about it.
Crap and crap. I'm starting to realize we're gonna have
Trump as our president for another four years. Jeez. I honestly
thought we were heading towards impeaching him quickly. He knows how to
change the subject and crap though, he knows what he's doing to some extent.
At least in terms of not getting impeached. Crap and crap. #LetsPromoteMikePence.
I've said it before, I'll say it again. It's a great hashtag. Let's
get that trending. At some point I'm gonna take a new profile pic for
Facebook of myself now that I've lost weight. Not sure when to do it
exactly. When I get under 160? Seems like a big enough difference to
commit to putting up a new picture of.
Anyway, crap and crap. Fifth paragraph. What fun.
More Met Game tonight. Facing the Marlins. They just did that less
than a week ago. Whose creating these schedules. Some chump, that's
my guess. What the what. Gettin' a turkey sandwich for dinner.
I haven't had turkey in a while. That's how I feel. I've been led to
believe it's healthy, though. Sure. What else is going on.
Crap and crap. I changed Siri's language from English (American) to
English (Canadian). And she started talking slower. It's funny
because of stereotypes and such.
And it's true! I wouldn't lie to you. Not to your
face. I suddenly got my old contacts re-established for some reason.
Didn't have them at first. Mucked around on phone a bit. Then I had
them. Now I've got double contacts for some people. That's no good.
Crap and crap. Sixth paragraph. Whattado. Just took a crap.
That's a good way to lose weight. Tips: Presented By Michael Kornblum.
What else. There's still a lot of crap to watch even without Tales From
The Crypt. And I can still watch Tales From The Crypt. It just won't
be as cinematically good. Or the television equivalent of cinematically.
Anyway. I don't know. I don't think The
Cryptkeeper has a lot of friends outside the audience. He seems a little
too excited to see us. Probably the only social interaction he gets.
Oh well. That's what you get for being a cryptkeeper, I guess. What
the what. The first episode I remember of Tales From The Crypt, seeing it
as a kid, was the one where each floor of the house, the guy either gets older
or younger, and the girl gets the opposite. Creepy stuff. Floors of
houses. I'm scared. I was scared of floors of houses when I was a
kid. Didn't wanna be on one floor alone. Scary stuff.
Crap and crap. And I remember, when sleeping
downstairs, which was often, I was scared of the living room. Sleeping in
the den, next room is the living room. No lights on there. I
wonder what's in there. Creepy stuff, probably. Anyway, what the
what. Yeah, we had a den AND a living room. Livin' large!
What else and crap. We didn't have a dining room. Three rooms on the
first floor. Den, living room, kitchen. And bathroom, if you can
even count that. It's just an extension of the kitchen with a toilet.
What else and crap.
Ninth paragraph! Amazing. I had a mini-donut for
breakfast. I don't care, I do what I want. It's 50 calories more
than a banana. I'll survive. What else is crap. I've spent a
week more or less in my room. I gotta get out of here. Get some life
experience. I've already experienced life in my room to the most of my
capability. Oh well, live and learn. I could work on Musical Song
tonight. Seems like a Productive to do. Don't really wanna do it
anymore, but there are several reasons to stick with it. 1: Professor is
looking forward to it. 2: It's a Productive. 3: Impress
ladies in class with my Mad Skillz. 4: I forgot what I was listing.
Tenth paragraph and whatnot. Now we're into the shit.
It's too easy to send messages with Siri. I wanna just muck around, not
actually send any messages. Same with Twitter. Make it harder.
I haven't Twittered in a while. Let's think of some great Twitter.
Hmm. But why Twitter when I can have it on the website. Website
takes priority. I guess I could Tweet "#LetsPromoteMikePence." But
it woulda made more sense two weeks ago. I guess I could wait another two
weeks for it to make sense again. #BURN.
Yeesh. Halfway through entry. What the what.
I don't know. Met game in an hour. That's a thing to watch.
There's new Met games a lot to watch. Other than that, seen everything.
If they played three hours of Bartolo Colon hitting the homerun over and over,
sure I'd probably watch it. Gotta watch something. Hah.
Colon. He's fat, and colon is where shit comes out of. I'm
laughin'. I'm surprised Bartolo Colon doesn't sign his name as Bartolo
:. Surprised is the wrong word. Oh. Not surprised.
That's the word I was looking for. Also, he might. I'm just guessin'.
12th paragraph! Sweet. Poor Jose Reyes.
He's not good at baseball anymore. And he used to be good at baseball.
How ironic. Great. I wanna get into chewing gum. But I
don't know where to start. Probably by chewing gum. Not gonna eat
dinner when it gets here. I'll eat when I want. Get off my back
about it. Crap and crap. You can eat turkey cold. You can eat
turkey however you want. It's up to you. I like how there's a lot
more small intestine than there is large intestine. It's a good piece of
trivia. Put that in your back pocket.
Yeesh. What else is crap. I use my back pocket
for my keys and receipts/change I get. Coin change. Dollars, they go
into my front pocket. Now you know all my secrets. Crap and
crap. Michael Conforto eats turkey sandwiches however he wants.
Anyway. I found that Easter Egg on Google that if you type Do a barrel
role it rotates it's screen twice. Also, now I know why that kid in
high school kept telling me to do a barrel roll. The only reference point
I had for it was Star Fox 64. Thought, nah, that couldn't be it.
Turns out it is it. So that mystery is put to bed.
14th paragraph. Seven paragraphs to go. I can do
that, do it hardcore. Anyway. It's getting to be warm outside.
I crunched the numbers and everything. Crap and crap. I don't know
if I've ever eaten carp. I don't know if anyone's ever eaten carp.
That mystery has not been put to bed. I had a dream someone was gonna blow
up the moon, and I was trying to stop them, because I knew it would be a
catastrophe and end all life on earth. And then I saw the moon blow up in
the sky, and it did muck things up on Earth, but it wasn't an extinction level
event. And I was like, Hmm, guess I was wrong.
Mr. Show sketch. Oh well. 15th paragraph.
The moon doesn't have an atmosphere. Whatta chump. Crap and crap.
I don't know. What else. Closing in on five weeks without a drink of
alcohol. Knockin' some sobriety out of the park. A real moon shot.
Which is a baseball thing. Not a drink that hillbillies drink.
Moonshine. Let's talk about it. If I'm ever rich, I'm gonna buy
movies and TV shows on On Demand that you need to pay for like a motherfucker.
Even if I don't wanna watch them. That's the epitome of luxury.
Crap and crap. Also, what else is crap. 5
paragraphs to go and whatnot. I'll also get my own elliptical machine.
I don't wanna walk 40 feet to the neighborhood's complimentary gym like a chump.
Whose got the energy. Anyway, crap and crap. I've written a lot of
paragraphs the past week. That's something to be proud of. Gotta be
proud of something. What else. Judging by the past week, I'd say
it's 50/50 Trump starts World War III. I'll take those odds. Good
50% chance he doesn't. Not bad.
17th paragraph. We should fight all wars by just
playing Stratego. Haven't we evolved enough to not use armies made out of
people? We can just settle all our problems by board games. That
way, we minimize the amount of people that get hurt/killed. Nobel Peace
Prize, please. What else. I bet whoever Nobel was is pretty
pleased that his name is now the epitome of greatness. Good for him.
Another Met game on SNY. When is WPIX gonna get in on this action.
At this point, I'm very concerned something is wrong.
Three paragraphs to go! Sweet. I don't know, what
else and crap. Things probably. Gotta do some more make-up online
homework for Environment. Do Lab for Environment. Got six days to do
it. That's not so bad. I have three paragraphs to write now.
That's pretty bad. That's how I feel. Half the Doug episode I
watched was about Doug getting involved in a scheme where he keeps mailing money
so he could win a sweepstakes. That old chestnut. That's what kids
wanna watch about on TV.
Two paragraphs to go. Let's make 'em count for some
reason. For being entertainment reasons. Mets down 4-0. Time
to put that shit on mute. I don't need to hear that kind of crap.
Anyway, what the what. Oh. Cause I signed into voice mail.
That's what reloaded my contacts and whatnot. Probably. I gotta
record a voicemail message. I don't wanna go silly with it. Just
standard. But I need to convey the information that they successfully
called me however I did not answer the phone for a potentially good reason.
Last paragraph! Sweet. Hey, The Mets got 2 on,
nobody out. Time to de-mutify it! I want to hear the potentially
good things that may happen. Now the Mets have the bases loaded and nobody
out. I wouldn't lie to you. This has been Mets talk. No
commentary, just the play by play. I'm providing a public service and
whatnot. Now it's 4-3. Let's talk about what's going on in the Met
game some more. Gotta talk about something. Not really. A few
sentences away from being done. Sweet. Now it's 4-4.
I'll see ya later.
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
In The End, Who Really Wants To Do Anything
I don't wanna write a musical. It
wouldn't work. I thought about it. I guess I can still write that
first song. So I don't disappoint Professor. We'll see how it goes.
The point is I still have a week off for some reason. I wanna say because
of Holidays. What makes this week different than all other weeks.
Holidays. Sure. Can't figure out how to download MP3s on my
phone and put them in my iTunes library. I wanna be able to listen to my
songs by asking Siri to play them. The ultimate orgasm. Then Siri
could play them randomly. I won't have to pick a song myself like a chump.
Oh well, guess I'll need to sign to a label and release an
album so it's on Apple Music. I had no motivation to do it before, but I
guess now I have to. Anyway, crap and crap. Man, doin' nothing
sounds pretty good right about now. What else. Have second half
of Steak & Eggs for dinner tonight. That's protein to the max. Which
is good. That's what I've been led to believe. Mets knocking it out
of the park. Literally, this time. How about that. My guess is
if you major in English you're literally very good at English. Because of
words. Sure. I guess.
Third paragraph. Hey, today's the 12th. April
12th. My third-birthday. Not turning 3 years old. It's a third
of my birthday in terms of intrayear. Let's talk about it. 28.33333
and so on. Not really, I'm sure counting the days exactly its something
else. Get off my case about it. I'm good literally, not
mathematically. What else. I don't like talking to Siri too much.
I mean, I do like it. But I shouldn't. I don't wanna train myself to
be friends with robots. Then I'll have no motivation to be friends with
people. And I need to be friends with people to network. Network!
Jeez. Being friends with a robot is never gonna get me
a literal job. Oh well. I asked Siri if she was friends with Watson
and she sort of avoided the question. Wouldn't give me a straight up
answer. Is it possible Siri and Watson are hooking up? My guess is
sure. For two nights in a row, I've had a dream I was in The Mick and it
was my real life, not a TV show. Pretty sure there's things wrong with me.
And the new episode from last night was about a sleepover and the youngest kid
is having nightmares. And I had the first dream before seeing that episode
or knowing the title.
Finally, my premonitions are paying off! In terms of
having dreams about TV shows ahead of time. It's about time. What
else and crap. Fifth paragraph. The girl in The Mick only had two
lines the entire episode. My guess is they're phasing her out of the show
due to poor approval ratings. Oh well, live and learn. My
Environment grade was updated to show the credit I got on the late homework I
did this week. 80%. I could get a zero on the final and still pass
the class. Mission accomplished. Now I don't have to bother taking
the final. Why bother. I got things to do.
The main thing I have to do is nothing. That takes up a
lot of time if you're doing it right. Sixth paragraph. Still April
and whatnot. I gotta get a haircut and a shave. For appearance
purposes. I had to stop wearing my grey sweatshirt jacket in my Play
Class. Another guy wears the same jacket. We can't be wearing the
same jacket. Whatta jip. In high school, I thought wearing the grey
sweatshirt jacket was the height of fashion. Like my idol Eminem in 8
Mile. Anyway, crap and crap.
Seventh paragraph. Sweet. Cespedes hit 3 homeruns
yesterday. I keep imagining the color commentary calls if he hit more
homeruns. FIVE HOMERUNS! HISTORY! It's a good thing to
spend a lot of time thinking about. What else. I also had a dream
that Jason from Friday the XIII kept killing me. I had unlimited lives,
which was good, but he kept killing me so I couldn't go on with my life ever.
Had to start over from square one over and over, and he just wouldn't stop
killing me. I did watch Freddy Vs Jason last night, ahead of the dream, so
at least that's good.
Crap and crap. I don't know. I don't get why Fast
& The Furious is such a huge franchise. Hey, let's watch people drive
cars. Seems kind of boring to me. What else. I asked Siri
to pick a number from 1 to 10 three times and she kept picking 1. Three
times in a row. This means something. Possibly that Siri only knows
one number from 1-10. Also, I got a beef with picking numbers from 1-10.
Wouldn't picking numbers from 0-9 make more sense? Those are the digits,
after all. That's how I feel about things and you can't argue with a
Ninth paragraph! Sweet. I'm pretty sure there
haven't been any Met games on WPIX yet. I'm starting to worry something is
wrong. You'd think they'd get a game in the first week of the season, so
people know it's still a channel. The point is what else and crap.
Being in the hospital isn't ripe for parody. It's a very Syria-us
situation. And why would I want to relive that by writing a comedy musical
about it. I wouldn't, that's why. The good thing is I don't have to
do anything cause I've already went above and beyond my duty in that class.
Crap and crap. Tenth paragraph. That's how I do.
Sure. What else. Apparently that guy in charge of Syria is a real
jerk. That's how I feel. I don't care who knows it. It's a
strong stance to take, but that's me. Crap and crap. One things for
sure-- he's worse than Hitler. Which is important. And factual.
And apparently a good public stance to take. What else is crap. What
did Spicer call Concentration Camps. "Holocaust Centers." Hehaha.
11th paragraph. Halfway done and whatnot. I
wonder how many homeruns Cespedes will hit tonight. Two? Three?
More than three? Your guess is as good as mine. Well, maybe not.
My guess is pretty good. I'd take my guess over your guess any day of the
week. Which is an expression for some reason. I guess there was a
lot of people saying "I'm so sure of this, I'd stand by it any day of the
week... except Thursday. Not confident about it on Thursday."
Let's talk about it. I was looking up planets and stuff on Internet now
that I have a better reference point about Earth from Environment Class.
Interesting stuff. Theoretically. And in practice!
Great. Hey, Baseball has started! Wow. I
haven't seen a movie with an ape or monkey in over a week. Something's
wrong. Is King Kong: The Skull Island Habitant still in theaters?
Guess I could do that. Theoretically. Not in practice, though.
I guess. Anyway. I'm sick of getting these small beetles on my skin.
I suddenly feel a movement on my back, reach for it, there's a beetle, crush it,
throw it in the trash. How come I didn't feel it a second before?
Where was it? Beetles don't fly. How'd it suddenly get in the middle
of my back and I didn't feel it before.
Maybe beetles fall. I don't think they can fly, but
they sure can fall. The point is crap and crap. There were no bugs
in my room until I cleaned it up. Sure it corresponded with Spring
beginning. What of it? Anyway. Thirteenth paragraph.
Tomorrow is Thursday The Thirteenth. I crunched the numbers and
everything. Hey Cespedes did some more Baseball. How about that.
If you were 100 feet tall, you'd be pretty good at sports. Baseball, all
you gotta do is bunt, take one step to first base. You could potentially
get inside the park homeruns just by making fair contact.
What else. In little league, my specialty was taking
pitches. Small strike zone. Really excelled at not swinging the bat,
hoping for a walk. Do nine year old little leaguers know how to through
specific pitches. Or do they just hurl it to the plate trying for a
strike. I wouldn't know because they never let my pitch. They
wouldn't even let me try to pitch. Didn't wanna waste that two minutes of
practice. Whatta jip. According to my baseball card from Baseball,
that they made for us, my favorite player was Tino Martinez. I don't
remember that. Sure, now I like him because I know his real name was
Constantino Martinez. Didn't know that then.
Hey, it's the fifteenth paragraph. Sweet.
Apparently Charlie Murphy is dead. Whatta jip. I could record the
music to Musical Song tonight. I know what chords and riff I wanna play
over chords. Only a question of how many times to repeat that. I
should go for 5 minutes. That's a reasonable amount of time for a Musical
Song. If I was a Met fan my whole life, would my favorite player have been
Bernard Gilkey? Let's hope so. The baseball card also listed my
position as Shortstop. I never played shortstop. I couldn't play
shortstop, I was a lefty. I guess I got away with a fib there.
Five paragraphs to go! Wonderful. Pretty sure
they didn't keep track of or report stats for that baseball card. That's
the main thing for baseball cards. And they didn't have it. I want
my money back. I've been thinking every other night, you know, I could
use a drink, drinking one night wouldn't kill me. But I don't. I
got a good streak going of not drinking and I can't stand to let that streak
end. The point is what other adequate shows like The Mick can I watch.
And dream about. Actually, scratch that. I don't wanna dream about
more TV shows. As if they're not TV shows but my life. I'm still
working on how to get Jason to stop killing me.
What else. My main strategy for dealing with Jason was
just running away. He's a slow walker. But he catches up with you
sooner or later. That's been my experience. 17th paragraph.
Still not able to watch Tales From The Crypt like a chump. Oh well.
I guess. What the what. I don't know. 17th paragraph means
three and a half to go. Unless I go overtime like I have the last three
entries. We'll see how it goes. My favorite player probably would
have been Todd Hundley. But Bernard Gilkey has a funnier name. Todd
Hundley is pretty funny too, though. Can't go wrong either way.
I believe Bernard Gilkey was the one in Men In Black.
No way of confirming that, though. Crap and crap. Hey, 18th
paragraph. How did I not notice that a second ago. Entries fall out
of the sky, though. Apparently. I don't know. I asked Siri to
play the Tales From The Crypt theme and it played a pumped up version meant for
working out. These are the days of my lives. Siri can't wake me up
by playing a song. Let's get that in the next version. For reasons.
I don't know. Jeez. 20 paragraphs seems very likely. What
Two paragraphs to go. Let's do it hardcore. Jacob
DeGrom is the only Met starter without something great going on with his name.
There's Thor, there's The Dark Knight, there's Wheelin' and Dealin', there's
Meet The Matz. Pick up some slack, DeGrom. Anyway, crap and crap.
I wonder how many nights in a row I'll continue to dream about The Mick.
Two? Three? More than Three? Guess we'll have to wait to find
out. Michael Conforto hit a homerun. He's got a pretty good name.
Michael-- well, that's me. Conforto. Has a lot of character to it.
Like contortionist. Contorto. Like Comfort. Comforto.
Last paragraph! What the what. I just almost
threw up for some reason. Probably smoking did it. It was just a big
cough up. What the what. Maybe it was the excitement of Michael
Conforto and his name and his homerun. Robert Gsellman. I'm
laughin. Maybe eek out another five paragraphs after this. Seems
like something I can do at this point. I will re-evaluate when this
paragraph is done. I don't know. I should just cut it out. But
I get a high from writing paragraphs. Gotta get a high from something.
21st paragraph. Jeez. Gotta do somethin'.
Even doing nothing is doing something. That's been my experience.
And my doing something is doing nothing. Let's talk and think about it.
Hey what's up. Just refilled my soda. You might have noticed I was
gone. Hopefully not. You notice that, you got some mighty powers.
And with power comes responsibility. And who wants responsibility.
Not me, that's for sure. You probably don't either. That's my best
guess. Every day of the week. Crap and crap.
Four paragraphs to go. Seems reasonable. What is
crappening and crap. I have some sad news. A girl who was in the
hospital the same time as me last time I was in hospital five years ago died.
According to Facebook. And I'm assuming it was a suicide. What crap.
First person I've known in entire life, first peer at least, that has died.
I feel like I should have been friends with her or something. She seemed
like a cool person based on Facebook updates. Oh well. That's part
of why I don't really wanna do the Hospital Musical anymore. I'm not
equipped to make some clever commentary about that or anything.
23rd paragraph. Sure. Also, can't motivate myself
to work on it. Maybe if I had more motivation I could put in the time to
figure out some clever commentary. Who knows for sure. Not me.
And we'll most likely never know because it won't happen. Crap and crap.
Let's write this entry for her. That's how things happen and
crap. Anyway, what the what. I don't remember ever even talking to
her, but I must have talked to her to some extent in hospital if we friended
each other on Facebook. Facebook is only for true friendships.
24th paragraph. Gotta end it on something else.
What else. I don't know. Whatta downer. Gotta work in some
upper. Got two paragraphs to do it. That's a lot of paragraph.
What the what. I don't know. Jeez. Crap and crap. That
took all the air out of this entry. Whatta bullshit. There's signs
on busses telling everyone to carry naloxone which cures heroin overdoses or
something. I'm not falling for that one. If we're all carrying
naloxone, that'll just encourage more people to do heroin, now that they know
they might be saved from an overdose. That's no good.
Last paragraph. Cool. What else is going on and
crap. Gotta write one more paragraph for some reason. Consistency's
sake and all. I don't know. Jeez and crap. I'm not carrying no
naloxone. What have people who are overdosing ever done for me?
Nothin', that's what. Anyway, crap and crap. Eat dinner soon after
this is over. Finish watching Met game. Spend some quality time
lying in bed thinking about where I went wrong with my life. I'll see ya
Sunday, April 9, 2017
What The Whatness
Gonna try writing an entry for the
second day in a row. Let's do it hardcore. If we don't, you'll never
read this, so no one would be the wiser. Great. Let's get started.
What's the deal with things. That's all I got. I haven't
accumulated any life experience in the last 20 hours. It's not like there
was another hour of The Rap Game. Oh well, live and learn.
Gotta start working on Musical songs. Haven't made any progress the last
few days. This is my one shot to make people like me in this class, can't
blow it. Half a pound away from not being obese. Great. I'm a
little worried I'ma have loose skin when I diet. I feel like I probably
won't, because that's something that happens when you lose weight and are older,
right? I'm still young. That's how I feel.
I guess. Goofballs and funnybones. Let's start
including those in this entry. For Strategy reasons. Finishing
Chinese Food tonight. You know what that means. It's pretty self
explanatory. If you don't know what it means, you need a lot of help in
life. What else. I'ma start doing some push ups and situps. I
feel like I can do like 50 or 100 of each spread out over the day. That'll
get me in shape and whatnot. I have a memory of when I was a freshman at
Stuy, in my old room that was half the size, doing push ups and situps on my
bed. It probably detracts from the exercise doing it on a mattress, but I
didn't have any room to do it on the floor. I specifically remember
listening to The White Stripes' Offend In Every Way while doing it.
That's a good pump-up song.
Memories. The real question is how many calories does
jerking off burn. I guess it depends on how long you do it. And your
technique. I have a vague memory of jerking off an insane amount of times
when I was in Hospital, but I'm not sure if that's a real memory or not.
Oh well, such is life. I definitely remember taking an insane amount of
showers. Like four or five over one day. Because you have nothing
else to do. Might as well keep taking showers. Such is life.
Also, I got the stink of being ill on me. Must get clean, must get
Sure. Been not in a hospital for five years.
That'll show 'em, that'll show all of 'em. Now I'm writing a play about a
guy in a hospital. I need inspiration and whatnot. It's funny,
though, because it's funny. Last class professor was talking about a
play he saw where the premise is it's a play being put on by inmates at a
hospital. This was the first class back since I had the hospital idea.
Whatta jip. I was thinking, this is original and whatnot!
Turns out, not so much.
Oh well, live and learn. See, the play can be funny and
absurd, but its got to have heart, too. That's how I feel. And it's
pretty good because I have a heart. So I know where I'm coming from and
whatnot. A few years ago I wrote part of a story on Facebook, in
successive notes, and there was a girl whose name was Hearts in it.
I feel like that's a great name. If I have a daughter, sure, I'll name her
Hearts. I've written a lot of names in my time, and Hearts takes the cake.
Anyway, crap and crap. I used to fantasize about changing my name.
First name, I usually thought about changing to Adam. It's my current
middle name, so there is some holding onto the person who I am.
I don't have the time to change my name, though. I got
things to do. What else. Sixth paragraph. Great. I read
three paragraphs of Bob Dylan book. That'll get me in the zone for writing
a stupid musical. I never finished my Pete Townshend book. What
happens? I guess I'll never know. Unless I finish the book.
Which I might do over this week and a half. Sounds like a pretty good idea
and whatnot. There could be a song about all the different characters you
meet in Hospital. So far, I have one. I could probably think of some
others, though. Anyway. One route I could take is the guy meets a
girl in hospital and romance ensues. Seems kind of cliche, though.
We'll see. I'm against cliches. I don't care who
knows it. What else. Still not sure what to do in terms of recording
songs/trying to play them in front of class. I'll keep myself updated on
this situation as it develops. Hey, I can be a movie critic. Don't
know where that idea came from. But sure, I like movies. And
sometimes I don't like them. Those two things are the main requirement for
being a movie critic. And I got them down pat. What else and crap.
I was talkin' to my Dad about crap I could for for a job. He suggested
working at a newspaper. Jeez. Watching the news is too
intense for me. That's where I'm at.
I guess. Eighth paragraph. I like watching Long
Island local news when I'm in a Doctor's Waiting Room. It's like regular
local news but with more advertisements for yachts and luxury cars. And
advertisements for Great Gatsby Parties. What else. I guess. I
like eating Tea Biscuts. First reason, it made me realize the pun that is
Seabiscuit. Second reason, they're good. It's like a cross between a
cracker and a cookie. A cookie, but not too sweet. And, I don't feel
like eating a fruit or vegetable, I have two tea biscuits. No harm done.
That's about where I'm at in life these days.
Ninth paragraph. I saw a movie several months ago with
Bobcat Goldthwait where he talks to a horse. How many academy awards did
that movie win? Two? Three? More than three? Anyway,
what the whatness. I had a dream last night I got to go back in time and
improve my wooing of girls. And I was like, this is great, when I go
back to present time, we'll be together. Turns out it never happened
because either I still wasn't good enough at wooing them or because it was a
dream and real things to happen based on dreams.
Tenth paragraph. I also had a chance to save some songs
I had written that are lost now to a USB drive so I could have those in the
future. Which was equally exciting. The point is what else and crap.
I still have time to get electronical guitar fixed if I wanna do that for
Musical. Seems like a good way to go about things. It can be the
absurd musical with almost mediocre punk music. That's could be a thing is
how I feel. I also don't know if I should have some of the songs as if the
character himself is actually playing them. Either way, I guess.
Playin' somber acoustic guitar music in hospital, does it matter if he's
actually playing the song, or not. The feelings expressed are whats
important. And the potential goofballs in the lyrics.
Anyway. It'd have to be acoustic if its actually the
character playing the song. You can't have an electric guitar in hospital.
That's absurd. Absurd is what I'm going for! That's a great idea!
We'll see how this line of thinking pans out. My guess is I'll forget it
by the time the entry is over. What else is crap. I'm looking
forward to having these flights of fancies about Musicals being quarantined to
the past. Get to watch TV without the nonsense of doing a Productive
Creative in my head. Devote all my brain power to watching Tales From The
Crypt. What else is crap.
12th paragraph. Cool. Got a little bit of
Environment homework due by tomorrow night. Then the past assignments he's
making me make up due Wednesday night. Oh well, live and learn. I'm
not sure about what I want as my ideal weight. I guess somewhere between
115-125. Probably the way to go. Anyway, what the whatness.
Got no homework to do tonight. That's pretty good. I'm happy about
that. Sure. I don't know, what else. Just hit a wall. It
was bound to happen sooner or later. Or right on time. Those are the
three options of when things can happen.
And whatnot. 13th paragraph. Let's get back into
a groove or something. I'm pretty sure Carlito's Way was the main
inspiration for Grand Theft Auto III. That's a scary game. You steal
someone's car, don't drive away fast enough, they fuckin' grab you out of the
car. A real role reversal. Scary stuff. I guess now I know how
they felt when I grabbed them out of their car. That game is a real eye
opener. What else is crap. The good news is if the police are ever
after you, all you need to go is change the color of your car. Good stuff
to know for real life.
Sure, why not. Crap and crap. Seven paragraphs to
go. I can do that, do it hardcore. It's gonna be lit. Final
elimination in Rap Game. Fourth place was Flau'jae, of course. JD
was nice about it, though. I don't like it. You could just say,
Not That Good. NEXT! The point is what else and crap. Are
girls ever juniors. Your mom is Haley, you're Haley Jr. Never seen
it happen. Only boys. Let's get to the bottom of this conundrum.
Sure. What else. Hey. I'm Emily The Third. Let's
get to the bottom of this. Crap and crap. I think Tally really
missed an opportunity, quitting the show. She had a good chance of coming
15th paragraph. Sweet. Something I noticed, every
week in The Rap Game, Tally had a new haircut. That tells me that
someone's trying too hard. Or they're a big fan of haircuts. One of
those two. I've noticed my hair takes different shape every few pounds I
lose. Most noticeable after bathing. I guess that's just a part of
life apparently. The point is I watched the first five minutes of Moulin
Rouge and just couldn't take it. Too fast paced. Too intense.
I was a fan of that music video for Moulin Rouge with a bunch of sexy singer
ladies. For personal reasons. Get off my back about it.
Five paragraphs to go. What play to see. This
week off would make the most sense to go see one. But there's a 5% chance,
if I put it off, I can trick someone or someones in Class to see something with
me. Especially if I impress them with Guitar. They'll be like putty
in my hands they will. I think its safe to say, whether I realized it or
not, Roger Ebert was one of my favorite writers as a youth. This is
relevant because of reasons one would imagine. I don't know.
17th paragraph. Cool. I like how I wanted to
watch Trial & Error but the first episode you have to pay for. That's a
great way to get people hooked on your show. Not letting them watch it.
NBC has got it all figured out. Unless its on CBS. Then NBC has
really got it all figured out. Tricking CBS to make you pay for the
first episode. I don't know how NBC pulled that off, but all the more
credit to them. I have trouble watching the Maury/Jerry Springer shows the
last few months. Too intense. Too much drama. Also, that new
show on FOX where people vote online as if they were in a jury. That has
the potential to be the worst thing to be on TV in this century.
Sure, I guess. Three paragraphs to go. I'm pretty
sure 80% of people will vote the wrong way just to be a dick. And,
televising it, that's the representation of our country we're forced to watch
play out. Jeez. They must have some system to prevent that, though,
right? Like making up the results themselves? Probably. One
thing's for sure-- Siskel is a freeloader. Ebert carried him for no good
reason. Nobody likes Siskel. Leonard Maltin is okay. He was in
Gremlins II. In one version. One version had Leonard Maltin, the
other version had Hulk Hogan. I think it's safe to say, whether I realized
it or not, Gremlins II was one of my favorite movies as a youth. It's safe
to say anything. Most things. Even if they're wrong or incorrect.
You can say them without fear of repercussions. Most things.
Who knows how many paragraphs this'll be. You, if you
count how many paragraphs are left in this entry when reading this.
What, you think you're better than me? Fuck off. Crap and crap.
And writing this Musical makes my whole life come first circle. The first
movie idea I ever had, when I was ten or eleven, was Mental Hospital,
potentially starring Leslie Nielson. That's all I had.
Actually, my first movie idea was Yokozuna Attacks! Mental Hospital
was my second idea. Anyway.
20th paragraph. Wow. Actually, my first movie
idea was Hollow Man. They stole that from me. Jeez.
Mick Foley was one of my favorite writers as a youth. That I was fully
aware of. He's relatable because of crap and stuff. Louis Sachar.
He was a good'un. They should make a movie about Wayside School.
Might be too absurd, though. All the better. Also, the plot isn't
very strong. It's more a collection of short short stories. They
could figure it out. If they can make Hollow Man, they can figure
out Wayside School. Maybe it's on me to write that screenplay.
Damnit, I hate when things are on me! I just wanna watch Tales From The
Crypt uninterrupted for the rest of my days.
Anyway, what the what. Another long entry. Who
knows how long. Not me. You might. That's good. I wonder
how Tim & Eric make their shows and crap. Seems like they would repeat a
lot by accident. No, we already did a thing when you made that face and
touched yourself there three years ago. Seems tough, that's all I'm
saying. I kinda like doing the online assignments for Environment.
All the answers are in the book and I come to the verge of learning something.
While very slightly increasing my overall grade. Good stuff.
Jeez. I think it's safe to say if I had Tales From The
Crypt I wouldn't be writing this. Sure. 22nd paragraph. Cool.
I like killing bugs. It makes me feel like a big man. Which is
something I don't feel like a lot of the time. On account of physical size
and whatnot. I guess. I wonder how many people read this. I
always assumed it was, I don't know, 2 or 3. What if there's a bunch that
read this and just don't let me know. Why, it could even be double digits.
It's within the realm of possibility. If someone I knew was writing this
kind of crap, I'd read it like a mother fucker.
I write it, and I read it. That's a good barometer or
something. 23rd paragraph. Feels like I'm gonna go for 30, but who
knows. I should re-title the blog Paragraph Talk with Michael Kornblum.
Possibly Adam in some strange future. I'm pretty happy that both my
names cover all of the Beastie Boys. Not even just the three, but Mix
Master Mike, too. It's a real point of pride for me. I guess.
What else is crap. Don't like watching Lock Up: The Show On MSNBC About
Prison anymore, either. Pretty intense. Over time, some things get
easier to watch, some things get harder. That's life I guess.
24th paragraph. Seven to go! Perfect, just great.
Let's watch Gremlins II. I'd settle for Gremlins I. Which, let's be
honest, isn't as good. Might do that Environment Homework due tomorrow
tonight. Seems like a thing to do. I know there's that urban legend
about the person who heats up their dog in the microwave and it kills them.
But what if it's only for one second. One second couldn't kill them,
right? Everything in moderation. Too long, sure, that's terrible.
One second seems reasonable, though. That's how I feel.
Six paragraphs to go! 1/5th of what I've already done.
Let's talk about it. I used to write 5 paragraphs an entry. Then it
was 10. Then it was 20. Now it's 30. Three in a row don't lie.
Crap. What else. Met Game tonight. Sweet. So many shows
to rewatch with Smart TV. So many movies. It's about time.
I've been watching regular TV like a chump for way too long. That's how I
feel. I've had this TV 13 years now. It's done its job. Now
time to put it out of its misery. By deleting Misery from my DVR.
With paragraphs like that, reaching 30 paragraphs will be a
piece of cake! Which is a good thing! I've been led to believe!
Sure. Lead is a bad thing. I learnt about it in Environment Class.
Except for in pencils. Everything in moderation. What else.
The point is don't eat pencils. The point is on the opposite side of the
eraser. Crap. 1/6th of what I've already written. Sweet.
I'm not 100% on that math. Unfortunately we can't write Entry in pencil
and correct our mistakes as we go. Crap.
27th paragraph, though, that's pretty good. You don't
need to have tea to enjoy a good tea biscuit. A lesson we all learn in
life at some point. What else. Heating up rice is troublesome, too.
I can't do it in the oven. That'll make it crispy. This ain't some
cereal I'm having. And, if I was having cereals, no way I'd have Rice
Krispies. Disgusting. I can't heat up rice in the microwave.
Well, I can, but I've got some issues with it. Rice is packed tight, hard
to heat up. Convection. Latent Heat. Hadley Cells.
28th paragraph. Sometimes I think about how much rice
people in China eat. Gotta be a lot, right? But how much. I
need more exact answers. What else. Sometimes I think about how
Tokyo has the largest population of any city. Wonder what that's like.
You can fit in a lot of people if everyone sleeps in a drawer. Or is that
only for visitors in hotels. Again, I don't have all the details, but I'll
get to the bottom of this as soon as I'm done fantasizing about watching Tales
From The Crypt.
29th paragraph. Jeez. Not done writing yet.
Passover is now or coming up. What makes these nights different from all
other nights. I forget. The only difference I remember is asking
that question. Something about bitter herbs. I don't have all the
details. Let's be honest, though, Passover is no Sukkot. Sukkot, you
live in a room with three walls. Doesn't get much better than that.
That's Sukkoh, right? Seems like I should have learnt that in Hebrew
School. Anyway. I've started fantasizing of not living with my
parents. It's actually within distance and whatnot, depending on how my
life plays out. Graduate at end of the year. Time to get a job.
Then, getting my own place is within sight.
Exciting stuff. I'd be able to take all the Ritalin,
when I want, how I want. Where I want. Smells. I confused
the five senses with the five "Where, what, why...ies" I'll never be a
journalist at this rate. Or at any rate. I'll just never be a
journalist. Unless you define journalist as a person who writes a journal.
Then I'm already there. Crap and crap. I don't know. 30th
paragraph. I guess. Maybe one more paragraph after this one.
That's an average of 31 paragraphs over last three entries. That's 93
overall. I crunched the numbers and everything.
Jeez. Alright. Let's see, words, words.
I've already used a bunch of 'em. Got to use some more. Unless the
rest of the paragraph is composed of words I've already used. Then, well,
then, well, sure, great. I don't know. I wonder if people in
Australia feel lonely. Sure. Aboriginals mean they're not original,
right? Like, it's been done before, come on. Words and crap.
One things for sure though, I'm not aboriginal. You know, cause I'm white?
That sort of crap. Entry is practically over. Time to wrap it up.
Wrap it up by saying see ya later. See ya later.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Title, Huh? Great.
Hello friends and enemies. What's
going on in the wide world of bullshit. Into the week off and whatnot.
My boy Nova won the rap game. Wasn't really rooting for him, because he
was the favorite, and ya gotta root for the underdogs. But he was the best
rapper, so I got no complaints. He's gonna bring it hard for so-so def.
Also, what's rap. I've had the thought several times watching this
show, If I really wanted to, and set my mind to it, I could rap.
Then again, I've also had that thought about a dozen other things where it
turned out I'm terrible. Blogwriting, for one. So that's how that
Crap and crap. My main line of thinking is, okay, I
just spit a dope battle rap. The crowd is surprised and going crazy.
How do I react. Smile, shake the other guy's hand. Goin, "Man, we
both know I'm the greatest now, can you believe it?" Then they invite
me over for drinks and they're like, "I can tell you're something special,
let's be friends." So I got that to look forward to I guess.
Pretty much all my fantasies end up with someone going Let's Be Friends.
Anyway, crap and crap. Going to a Tim & Eric show in a few months with
Brother. So I got that going on and crap.
I knew Roscoe wouldn't win, because he's younger than
Deetranada and Nova. He's got a few years to work the circuit, get his
level up. Deetranada and Nova, they're elder statesmen at 16. If
they don't get it done now, it's over. Now or never. They're way
past their prime. Anyway, crap and crap. My favorite part of the
show is where they show clips of Them All Being Friends. Alright!
Rapping is one thing, getting a career is one thing. Making friends that
will last forever? EVERYBODY WINS! That's how I feel.
Crap and crap. This ain't a mother fuckin' game.
It's the Blog game. Mostly between me and... I can't pull another
blogger. Slate.com. That sort of thing. What else.
So, we bombed Syria. It's about time. I was beginning to think
America wasn't militarily powerful anymore. Whew. Crap and crap.
Now, I'm sure many of us are uneasy any time we get embroiled in a military
foreign conflict. But having Trump as the commander in chief, doesn't it
seem like even the stupidest of world leaders can outmaneuver him extremely
easily? Things don't look good.
That's why I've always said, Bobby Fischer For President.
In the movie Searching For Bobby Fischer, I think I always just assumed,
Okay, the kid in that movie is named Bobby Fischer. I've seen it, and
I still assume that. Prove me wrong! I wonder if Indian In The
Cupboard is friends with Small Soldiers and Toy Story. I guess. Crap
and crap. For some reason I've never seen Toy Story, or Toy Story II, or
Toy Story III. I was probably around 8 when Toy Story came out.
Never saw it. Seems like a missed opportunity.
I vaguely remember thinking about Toy Story, Ah, I'm above
it. Not a kid anymore. But at the same time, I also remember
not thinking that. Wow. Maybe it's because I never particularly
liked toys. I'm Generation Y. We had DOS and Windows 95 for fun and
games. No need for toys. That's how I feel. I also read a lot.
Whatta nerd. What else. Gotta do something. Also, TV.
What else. Sixth paragraph. Saturday. Got some chords and crap
all ready for Musical. Knockin' some chords out of the park and whatnot.
Maybe the main character can become a rapper. That'll combine all my
passions. Characters and Becoming Things.
Right. I'm pretty sure if Zack Wheeler did better
yesterday a headline about the game could have been Wheeling and Dealing.
He's got the exact right profession for that. Pitching. Dealing.
The only thing he could do better would be a dealer in card games at a casino.
Oh well, we can't all live the dream. All kids grow up wanting to be a
blackjack dealer. I Control The Cards. I Have All The Power.
Right? Sure. I find it weird how popular the game War is among kids.
I get that it's a very easy game to learn/play, and that's why. But isn't
there some equally easy game that involves at least some level of skill or
strategy? Playing War, you might as well play, Let's Flip a Coin Fifty
That sounds fun. Who wants to play me in Flip a
Coin. The gauntlet has been thrown down. What paragraph is this.
Eighth. Wow. I wanna play some Stratego. I've had a lot of
time to really think hard about interesting Stratego Strategies. I've had
a good six or seven years of relatively nothing, and I'm proud to say I've
devoted much of that time to thinking about Stratego. In Environment I
learned about Stratosphere. That's where the Ozone Layer is. I
wouldn't lie to you. Greenhouse Gases. Albedo. Precipitation.
Got it all locked down in my memoryhead.
What else. Still haven't even ordered my new TV.
What a gip. I had my birthday like a chump and still haven't gotten my
present. Oh well, live and learn. I was looking at MFA Creative
Writing Programs just for fun. I feel like if I could get a full ride,
might be something worth doing. Not gonna pay for it, though. I'm
paying enough by doing that instead of getting a job. So, yeah, sure.
I've also started reconsidering teaching English. Because apparently I
will have to do something to make money. I know, I'm as surprised as you
Yeesh. Tenth paragraph. English classes are all
about assigning books and having interesting things to say/ask about them.
That sounds hard. So, In What Book is Tom Joad. I think it's
Grapes of Wrath. 100%. Anyway, what else. I could have
a class where it revolves around the concept of people falling down a well.
Only assign books where someone falls down a well, or a sewer, or that prison
from Batman: The Movie. Sounds like a fun class to teach. Then, for
extra credit, have my students fall down a well and write about their
I got that I guess. I just want to make friends or
something. Thinking about what I'm gonna do when I graduate, I just think
in terms of, Hey, doing this, I'll get into some social circle or something.
That sort of crap. Eleventh paragraph. I guess. Whattado.
I was watching Carlito's Way. I don't have a story or quip about it.
Whatta letdown. Crap and crap. Four English Classes to go.
None creative writing. That's ok. I'll read some books, sure.
As long as I don't have to learn about Polar Molecules or Hadley Cells, sure,
can't be that bad. Tally flaked out. Whatta chump. She could
be the covergirl of Chumps Monthly.
See, battle rap. Just gotta turn it into a rhyme.
Tally, you really stunk, then you flaked like a chump. See, I'm
great. What else is crappening. I bet the people in Stockholm are
starting to sympathize with the driver who ran over people. Because of
Syndromes. Got some online homework for Environment to do this week in
addition to working out one or two Musicals. This is my one shot to
impress this class. I'ma be 20 pounds lighter and play more music than I
did in the beginning of the class. That's how I feel.
13th paragraph. Doin' it hardcore. I'm a little
scared about seeing Tim & Eric. Their stuff can get pretty intense.
Gotta face our fears, though. Probably. Seems like something we'd
have to do. A couple of weeks ago I picked up a flyer in Dunkin Donuts
where there's a challenge to write a song about Dunkin Donuts, and they give you
the lyrics, and the three finalists preform their Dunkin Donuts Material in
front of an audience. You had to record it on YouTube, though. I
can't preform songs. I can only lay down some tasty tracks and sing out of
tune and out of rhythm to them, and not at the same time as playing guitar.
Hey, we all got our own ways we work, don't knock mine.
There's three or four Lifetime shows about little women in various different
cities. No shows about little men. I guess there's no target
audience. Average height men could care less. Average height women
could care less. Below average height men don't wanna be reminded of
shortness. Below average height women already got their own thing.
Three or four of their own things. I was thinking about maybe doing an
online dating site. My friend Mike from Stuyvesant did it and got a
girlfriend. And he's a real lamewad. I feel like, I lose a bunch of
weight, even listing my height at 5'2, I got personality. I might be able
to make something happen.
There's got to be at least some percentage of girls okay with
my height. If you're on a dating site, you gotta be relatively desperate
to begin with, right? Sure. What else. They may be like,
Hmm, it says 5'2, that's not so bad. Then they see me in person
and are like, Oh, that's what 5'2 is? Never mind. So I got
that to look forward to. Crap and crap, what paragraph is it. 15th.
Sweet. I really should just start leaving the house on stilts. It's
strategy. Anyway. I've wondered a lot over the past few weeks,
people in comas over long periods of time, do they somehow feel time passing?
Is it like, you get into a coma when you're 23, you wake up when you're 43, does
it seem instantaneous? What is it like.
These are the important issues of our time. If I woke
up tomorrow and was 43, I'd be like, Crap, this sucks! That's
how I feel. Got a case for my phone. So I got that going for me.
The point is I'm tall enough for pretty much any amusement park ride.
Anyway. I feel like I could be pretty good at making hand gestures while
rapping. That would be my main best quality. And I'd be able to tell
people, Well, it all started when I was 11, and I was Big Mak of The Mad
Dawgs. Except I was Lil Mak. I didn't get the humor of keeping
it at Big. Like a real switch-em-up.
Crap and crap. 17th paragraph. Don't know yet how
long this entry'll be. Probably some amount of length. Crap and
crap. New SNL tonight. How many Rap Game sketches will they have.
Two? Three? More than three? I guess we'll have to watch to
find out. The point is What Else. The Chainsmokers are the musical
guest tonight. How can I be so indifferent about a band which describes my
main activity in life? Probably by not really knowing their music.
That would explain it. Gotta quit smoking over the next few years.
Get out while I still can. I don't wanna die for some crap reason like
smoking. That would be a real chump move.
Great. I've got a lot of beefs with anti-smoking ads.
None that I can think of right now. So I guess we'll have to move on.
Crap and crap. I still say, if you smoke cigarettes, you're cool. I
don't care. You can't argue with a feeling. Anyway. I think
for years after I quit smoking weed, I still fantasized about smoking weed, and
would jump at the opportunity to smoke weed. Pretty much safely in the
past, now. I'm Adultin' it up in that regard. Sure I'd smoke weed
under the right conditions. Get off my back about it. What else is
19th paragraph. How'd that happen. By writing a
lot without taking a break. Not bad. Good. Anyway.
Haven't checked my weight this week, but I'm pretty confident I've crossed the
threshold between obese and overweight. Looked at some statistics on
Internet, 2/3rds of Americans are overweight-- I learned that in Environment and
Internet confirmed it. Also, 1/3rd of Americans are obese. So now
I'm in the top 66 percentile! Knockin' it out of the park. I like
dieting. It makes me feel superior to people. What, you're eating
1500 calorie meals like a chump?
The point is I'm better than people in a wide variety of
areas. Mainly dieting and potentially being able to make great hand
gestures while rapping. What else and crap. 20th paragraph.
Last entry was, what, 30? Feel like I could safely get to 25 today.
Sure, why not. Also, the other point is, I'm sure my weight will fluctuate
between great and terrible many times over the rest of my life. That's
where the smart money is. Great. Gotta keep the body guessing.
That's common knowledge, that's all that is. What else is crap.
Five paragraphs to go. Then some real quality I Don't
Have Anything To Do time. I'm a little upset to find out that people say
that bananas aren't that great for you. Oh well, live and learn.
Crap and crap. I remember I used to sometimes eat Oranges like a chump.
I don't have time for Oranges. Let's get real. Also, why capitalize
Orange and not banana. For strategy, one would imagine. I don't have
all the details. I don't know if I should drop the fake-band-name The
Uppers. Just go by Michael Kornblum. Which is my given name I've
been led to believe. It's a good way to add a layer of separation, though,
because it's not that good. Wasn't me what wrote that song-- it was The
I've given me a lot to think about. Also, makes me
feel good. Instead of, Yeah, I've been writing these crap songs,
it's, The Uppers is this project I'm workin' on, man, you don't get it, it's
way over your head. Project, that's the key word. What else and
crap. Met Game when this is done. They play baseball. They got
players and everything. Crap and crap. I've started fantasizing
about getting a game winning hit to win the world series. And making some
really great hand gestures on my way to first base. That sort of thing.
I think I once got a hit in little league. Seems like something that might
23rd paragraph. What the what. I guess.
Does WebMD really have a medical degree. Seems like they wouldn't, on
account of being a website. I've given me a lot to think about. I've
started to get in the habit of setting my alarm even if I have no shit to do the
next day. I read somewhere that too much sleep is bad for you, and if I
read it somewhere, it must be true. Also, even if I decide to go back to
sleep, I get that great feeling of being able to go back to sleep. Real
win/win situation and whatnot.
24th paragraph. Jeez. I don't have Play Class for
another two and a half weeks. First week back has no Play Class.
Great, just great. I write a really great musical, that's gonna make me
friends. Professor is gonna be like, You wanna get lunch or a drink?
and I'd be like sure, and he'd be like, lemme team you up with some
great musical writer to finish this play, and I'm like, great, then I
meet the guy or girl, and we write the play, then more stuff happens. I
got it all planned out.
25th paragraph. Or, someone big shot comes across my
blog, wants me to write for slate.com. I also got that avenue all planned
out. Anyway, what the what. And then, in either of those two
scenarios, I make some great hand gestures while my life pans out in a real
positive direction. What else. I don't know. Crap and stuff.
Have the urge to go for 30 paragraphs. Even though I'm pretty much hitting
a wall or on the verge of hitting a wall. What to do. I really don't
know. Probably crap and stuff, either way. If I do short paragraphs,
that makes it easier. I crunched the numbers and everything.
Probably. What else. More Chinese Food for today
and tomorrow. That's pretty good. It's unhealthy so you know it
tastes good. I even have half of Soup left. I usually don't like
saving soup because I'm not very good at microwaving it. Usually get half
hot enough, half cold. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'll look
up Internet to see some great tips for microwaving soup. Once I got the
time. My schedule is pretty full, what with all the fantasizing about
making great hand gestures.
27th paragraph already. I'm doin' it! What the
what. Four paragraphs to go and whatnot. I guess. Almost a
full month of not drinking and dieting. Depends on how you measure a
month. Months are, on average, more than 30. You could argue that a
month is four weeks, though. You'd have a very strong argument. You
see a doctor, they say, see me in a month. You make the appointment
for four weeks from that day. This discussion raises more questions than
it answers, I'll admit that.
Crap and crap. People going for MFAs in Creative
Writing have got to be chumps, right? You're a writer? Write!
Probably. Unless you got some real superstar teacher. Then I can see
it. What else. Some people need the motivation to write. I'm
like that. You give me an assignment, I'll knock it out the park with some
real mediocre work. What else. I'm pretty sure MFA in Creative
Writing is basically Wonder Boys. Seems like a good Logic to make.
Knockin' some Poker out of the park. Good stuff, I guess.
Two paragraphs to go. Sweet. I guess. Here
I've been eating bananas like a chump. There is some debate, though.
Some people say they're not that good. Some people do stand by the theory
that they're pretty good. I've given me a lot to think about. The
point is I wanna watch some Tales From The Crypt. I've got the time, I've
got the motivation. I don't have the Smart TV. Whatta jip.
Anyway. Gotta do a little room-cleaning-maintenance. Don't want to
let it get dirty again. Be a real Adult about it and whatnot.
Last paragraph. What the what. I wonder which Rap
Game contestant will throw out the first pitch of The Met Game tonight.
Nova would be great, but he's probably get more pressing engagements to make.
Just lost a huge pot to an insane suckout. Oh well. Crap and crap.
I wrote 30 paragraphs. That's better than money. I guess. And
I still have some money on Poker that could last me a little bit. So it's
all good. Except for the fact that I may keep writing after this
paragraph. That's not good at all. I don't care how many great hand
gestures I make about it.
If Entry is better than money, more Entry is better than more
money. I crunched the numbers and whatnot. Crap and crap. I
missed the first pitch of The Met Game. Damnit, better not have been King
Roscoe. I guess I can look it up online. What else. I could
have folded on the river in that suckout hand. It was technically and
logically an option. Mets are already losing. Time to put it on
mute. What else and crap, now how many paragraphs am I aiming for. A
number I guess. What else.
32nd paragraph. Why is this happening. Nobody
knows. I guess. Crap and crap. What the what. That sort
of thing. This is the last paragraph. I'm calling it. What
else is there to say and whatnot. Jeez. I may have lost some money
in poker, but I have nothing to do for a week and a half. Gotta look at
the bright side of things I guess. Made up some ground in poker.
Time to stop the entry to stop the poker concurrently. That sort of crap.
See ya later.
Thursday, April 6, 2017
I'ma Do Something As Soon As I'm Finished Doing Nothing
Hello. It's a new month.
Great. New format. Wonderful. Same ol' words. Alright.
Week and a half vacation! It's about time and crap. Lost another few
pounds. Down roughly 12 or 13 pounds now overall. Right around the
weight of being overweight instead of obese. That'll show 'em.
Great. Had some more ideas about potential musical. I can make it a
whole one act play. Or a three act play. Or never do any of it.
Or do one or two songs to share with Class and stop there. Lots of
possibilities is the point. Had a great idea how to work on songs with my
8 track. Hook it up to my mini-handheld amplifier. No more earphones
for me! That'll show 'em.
Great. What else is great. Looks like I'm gonna
pass Environment with flying colors. Also, if you're experiencing flying
colors, have a doctor check you out for synesthesia. Which Microsoft
Frontpage doesn't recognize as a word for some reason. Great. What
else is great. Hopefully ordering my TV this weekend. I'll be able
to watch TV with the best of 'em. What else is crappening. Hopefully
get my electronical guitar fixed, too. The point is Gotta Do Something.
What else. Don Rickles died. I feel like I should look him up on
youtube for laughter purposes. I just watched him in Tales From The Crypt.
Now he's in a Crypt. I somehow feel responsible.
Somehow. Sure. He's making fun of Jesus now.
The insult comic's dream. Jesus seems like he can take a joke, though,
it's all in good fun. There was that time he was crucified.
Sometimes you just have to laugh at what life throws your way. Registered
for my 2 summer classes and 2 fall classes. Then it's See You In Hell
School. I guess. Wha, I have to go to "See You In Hell" School?
What do they even teach? How to say See You In Hell, seems pretty
straightforward. How to say it, when to say it, what the purpose of saying
it is. Lots of stuff to learn.
Great. Fourth paragraph. Play Professor won't be
around the last 2 weeks of class. Substitute Professor. Guy I had
for Creative Writing. Wonderful. I'm sick of Professor saying
everything directly to me. Always looking at me. There's only so
much nodding a guy can do. I need a new move. Start giving him two
thumbs up when he's talking. Discretely. Under the desk. Can't
let anyone else in the class know what's going on. Sure. What else.
Of 5 quizzes in Environment, teacher drops the lowest grade. Lowest grade
of first four quizzes gonna be a 76. I'm still probably gonna study for
the fifth test, though, like a chump.
Whatta waste of time. Learnin' stuff. What gives.
Watching Mets this season is pretty good. I don't even care if they lose a
game, because I know the next game they have a great pitcher going with a great
lineup. Always looking forward to the next game. They got team
building figured out, boy. I like the part where they're potentially good
at baseball. What else. Can't get the melody for song for play I
started writing on bus ride home out of my head. Whatta run-on
sentence. I'm already sick of it. That's a good sign, right?
Jeez. I believe now it's four weeks since I've had a
drink. That's roughly a month. Boy am I thirsty, though.
That's how that goes. Flying Colors isn't synesthesia. They're both
images. Let's get on the same page about it. It's micro-synesthesia.
Synesthesia within the sense of vision. Let's talk about it. I'm
sick of teachers going to me, Hey, you didn't do this assignment, you should
do it for points. I didn't do the assignment for a reason, okay?
Didn't think it was worth it. Now I have to, though. I'd look like a
real jerk if I don't do it now. Whatta bullshit.
Seventh paragraph. What the what. I'll be 155
pounds by May. 145 pounds by June. 135 pounds by July. 125
pounds by August. 115 pounds by September. Then it's time to stop.
That's how that goes. So, even without anything else, that's a good use of
an entire half-year of my life. That's my current projections, anyway.
I've lost 12 pounds in four weeks, but I'm giving myself a little room for
leeway, and considering the further you go, the more it takes to lose a pound.
Got it all figured out. Eat bananas. Apples. Carrots.
Small portions of meals. It makes me feel like I'm doin' a Productive each
and every day. Good stuff.
Eighth paragraph. Coolio. I started entertaining
the idea, Hey, I could write a funny offbeat musical loosely based on my
life, then people will like me. Gettin' ahead of myself, though.
One thing at a time. And the one thing right now is this entry and crap.
What the what. Most of the music I write in general is offbeat. Not in the
good way. All comin' together. Great. I don't know.
What the what. Have to see a Play by myself for class. At first I
was like, I don't wanna go in the city alone to see a play. Then I
was like, OF COURSE I wanna go into the city alone to see a play. I
get to go to Penn Station Twice! Ride the LIRR twice! Walk around to
some extent! Sit next to fancy people watching Play. Sounds good to
Alright, what the what. First, primary idea I had for
Play Song was the first song of the play, which I started working on in both
lyrics and music. Can't do that in class, though. For one, two or
three tracks of music. For another, multiple characters. I feel like
I could record myself doing multiple characters, but it would be hard in person.
Second song I came up with I could probably do in class. Just one guy with
one track of music. That'll impress everyone to the nth
Great. I didn't realize how fat I was till I started
losing weight. Great. Eatin' healthy. Avoiding carbohydrates.
I learned in Environment that in the absence of carbohydrates, the body burns
fat. Sounds good for me. Hopefully not too high a level of
combustion in burning the fats, though. I don't want to spontaneously
combust. It takes the lives of too many people as it is. I don't
know if that counts as spontaneous, though. There's a reason.
I guess. Jeez. Five Years of crazysheet.net.
Remember the time I did stuff? Memories. Great. I can't wait
to re-watch all the Tales From The Crypt on HBOGO. That's become my
reference point for wanting the new TV. Watchin' Tales From The Crypt.
Great. I bet we could see all the make-up and work done that the Crypt Keeper
had done to look presentable. No hidin' it now. Anyway. Also,
8 track no longer makes me sit on the floor, surrounding by a bunch of tangled
wires, to do stuff. On a desk now. Clean desk. Only wires that
are needed, and they're not tangled.
Cool. 12th paragraph. Wow. I haven't
preformed in front of people in a dog's age. Which is, what, zero to
twelve or thirteen years? How many ages can a dog be. What else.
Got the chords down for song I would do in front of class. Good stuff.
There's like six chords overall. That's a bunch of chords.
Apparently Roger Ebert really liked Funny Farm. Now that I have my new
phone (Note-- I got my new phone), I can wikipedia all these movies I had backed
up. I'm pretty sure when a dog reaches a certain age, they send him off to
live at a Funny Farm. Where he can run around and chase squirrels and
annoy Chevy Chase.
Right? Right. 13th paragraph. Pretty much
all I have to fret over for Environment is Final Test. After that, see you
in Hell non-English classes. It's funny taking this class pretty much at
the moment in time we're permanently fucking the environment thanks to Trump and
such. Environment isn't the kind of thing, okay, this administration
doesn't get it, but we'll get it right eventually. We only got one
shot. Fuck it up now, there's really no going back in a lot of areas.
Funny like a Farm.
14th paragraph. I mean, in terms of real crap
happening, yeah, I'm sure humans will figure out a way to survive. It's
the rest of the planet that's fucked. Billions of years of the planet
taking care of itself, then we muck it all up in a few centuries. Huge
numbers of species going extinct. Doesn't seem right. Oh well, live
and learn. Crap and crap. The good news is I'm writing songs for a
musical that will never exist. On account of me not being good enough.
Maybe if I formed a super-team with a real musician writer. But that's
getting ahead of myself.
15th paragraph. Cool. Thinking about getting
Chinese Food for dinner. Pretty unhealthy. But I could split it up
into at least 3 meals. Maybe 4. That's not bad. You can eat
crap all you want, as long as its in small portions. That's my philosophy.
Turns out a single plain M'n'M is 4 calories. I could have like 3 M'n'Ms
at a time to hold me over. That's 12 calories. I crunched the
numbers and such. I was hoping to trick someone from my Play Class to see
a Play with me, but I never got up the nerve to ask, and now it's too late.
Gotta do it over the week off for some reason.
16th paragraph. Whatta bullshit. Met Game
tonight. That's somethin' to do. Productive and whatnot. Still
have money on poker somehow. I play pretty mediocre. 90% of the time
I play adequately, 10% of the time I stop caring and play like a fool. Oh
well, live and learn. And 100% of the time I play at too high stakes for
my roll. Gotta spend money to make money. Unless you have a job.
Then you just make money. Pretty straightforward stuff and whatnot.
Another month or two and I'll be able to wear all my old favorite shirts.
There's the Maximum Fun shirt that glows in the dark. There's the Elliott
Smith shirt that says his name vertically for some reason. The point is
it's good to have stuff to look forward to.
There's the shirt I made! It says "All You Need Is
Love." Not bad. That'll show people I mean business. Hey, it's
the 17th paragraph! And I didn't lead off the paragraph with saying it!
That's a welcome change of pace. Who knows how long this entry will be.
It may never end. But if I never stop writing it, does the entry really
exist? Never uploaded it. If you make an entry in a forest with no
one around, does it make a sound. That's what I'm pondering. Was
able to work around the rain today when going to and coming back from class.
That's a Win. So Lit. Right?
I guess. What the what. Jeez. What fun.
Probably just 20 paragraphs. Three to go for that. I just hit a
wall. Damn Wall, you think you're better than me?! What else.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall. That doesn't sound
right. I'm not a brick. And I try to stay away from walls as a
general rule. Lots of plotholes in that lyric. There's another
idea for a song. Bouncing Off The Walls. The title is the hard
part. So that's pretty much three songs I have in the bank. I've
got a bunch of potential song titles for this play. I guess I'm more
or less almost done writing the play.
Cool. Writing the first song, I did of course come to
the realization This Is Retarded. I bet Shakespeare felt the same
thing. Powered on, though. There was just a loud thunder. I'm
scared. Hold me. I bet The Mets look like real jerks on HD TV.
That's my theory. I sure hope the closed captioning is in HD, too.
Really bring the words to life. 19th paragraph. What the what.
Hey, they might cancel the Met game. Just put two and two together.
Which is a strange phrase. 90% of the time people say they put two and two
together, they're actually putting one and one together. To form two.
Let's talk about it.
Putting two and two together, I'd like to see an accurate
example of that. E-mail me your Two and Two Together stories and I may put
them on the website. I guess. 20th paragraph. I think in
rained out games, they should give the win to the visiting team. It's the
home team's fault and responsibility that it's raining. They should be
punished. That's how I feel. I like people who pay for tickets to
see fireworks shows at baseball stadiums. You know you could just stand
outside for free, right? What's the deal with things!
21st paragraph. Man, 25 seems within reach. That
would be setting a dangerous precedent, though. Oh well, live and learn.
I get a feeling we're going to war with Syria. That'll take some of the
covering of Russia away. I wish that line of reasoning wasn't so
probable. Oh well, live and learn. It's a very Syria-us
situation. Nailed It. Crap and crap. I probably can't get a
ride from Dad to Music Repair Shop. I'd have to walk and take the bus like
a chump. Twice! Whatta gip.
22nd paragraph. Four to go! I can do that
hardcore probably. One would imagine. I saw a documentary where John
Lennon met Forrest Gump and that's where he got that idea for that song.
Anyway. I blame Forrest Gump's last name for his intelligence level.
The name Gump would drive anyone to retardedness. That's how I
feel. When I was a kid, I never realized Bubba was at Forrest's
intelligence level. I thought he was just some guy who knew about shrimp.
Live and learn, I guess.
Oh well. My favorite part of Forrest Gump was when he
tells his Drill Sergeant his purpose in the army is to Do Whatever He Tells Him
To and the Drill Sergeant is like You're a God Damn Genius!
Alright! Score one for Forrest Gump. I'm just real proud of him,
that's all. Anyway, crap and crap. Two and a half paragraphs to go.
Then some quality Lying In Bed time. I feel I might be able to stretch a
General Tso's Chicken with Pork Fried Rice and a soup into 4 meals. But if
I get a side of shrimp dumplings, that makes it a lot more likely and easier.
These are the days of my lives. 24th paragraph.
Only three and a half more labs to do for Environment Class. Great.
What the what. I don't know. Crap and stuff. I wonder if
Bartolo Colon is concerned that all the love he gets from Met Fans is/was
sarcastic. Look at that fatty do something good, what a laugh!
Probably not. He seems like a well adjusted person who wouldn't care too
much about that. That's how I feel. The point is what else.
New month. Already covered that I believe. It happens pretty often
Last paragraph. That's how I do. King Roscoe won
the battle-rap challenge/episode! I knew he would make a big push near the
end. It's anyone's game! Except Flau'jae. She hasn't stood out
once. And Tally. She quit the show on the penultimate episode.
Nova, King Roscoe, Deetranada. It's gonna be a fight to the finish.
King Roscoe winning would be a huge upset. Anyway, crap and crap.
The point is one of them is on the fast track to superstardom. You can't
turn on a radio without hearing a Miss Mulatto track.
One final paragraph for some reason. Just don't feel
comfortable ending it on The Rap Game commentary because I'm sure none of my two
readers follow it. They deserve better. Watched Mighty Joe Young a
couple of days ago. That's a fourth monkey/gorilla movie I watched in the
last week and a half! I guess. Crap and crap. The point is I
could play chords with the best of 'em. Not really. I'm actually
pretty bad at playing chords. It's not my strong suit. Venom is
a pretty strong suit. He gives people powers-- evil powers.
Last paragraph again. Jeez. I just wanna end it,
but at the same time, I don't wanna end it. I guess. I listened for
my songs on Phone a couple days ago after going close to a month without
listening to my past songs at all. They sure are terrible.
Better than nothing, though. I feel like, if the situation arose, I could
put on a song for someone that'll make them think I'm pretty adequate.
I've got a couple of adequate songs out of 200 terrible ones. The point is
one more paragraph for each year I'm alive. No, just one more paragraph
for one year. Overall amount of paragraphs for years I've been alive.
I've been alive 28 years. Give or take.
Hopefully give. That's good karma. You're giving, you're a good guy.
You're taking, shame on you. I don't know. Another reason I keep
prolonging the entry is that I'm not done smoking cigarettes. I feel like
I'm done now. Maybe one more. That's how I feel. I guess.
New SNL this weekend. I like the part where they make me laugh.
That's how I feel. Why is Santa Claus keeping account of when we're
sleeping and when we're awake. Doesn't he have anything better to do than
obsess over our sleeping habits. Do I have to do 30 paragraphs now.
It would only be two more.
I don't have to do anything. But I will.
Because I like doing stuff. I get in the habit of doing stuff for class, I
can't just turn that off immediately. Gotta do stuff for Website.
The point is I'm definitely done after these last two paragraphs.
Definitely Done hardcore. I suppose. I'm up five dollars in poker
today. Kickin' some poker in the nuts. Alright. Just lost two
dollars in poker. Some poker just kicked me in the nuts. Oh well,
live and learn. What else. I gotta work on my whistling technique.
Most people either whistle by blowing out or sucking in. I alternate.
It's fun, and an interesting route to take it, but I feel it's not allowing me
to whistle quite to my God Given Potential.
Last paragraph. I also don't know how to whistle with
two fingers in my mouth how some people do it. This is very relevant and
whatnot. The point is almost done for sure. Now that I cleaned up
all the surfaces of crap in my room, I have a notepad right next to my bed,
easily accessible. I'ma write stuff down like a real writer. Notes
and stuff. That's how I roll. What else. Passover is coming
up. It's Matzoh season. I like eating Matzoh. It's like,
You know, I feel like eating something I don't really like. Gotta mix it
up, you know? That's how I feel. I'll see ya later.