Sunday, May 28, 2017
I'ma Write An Entry For Some Reason
Another early entry. Early in the
sense it's before 5 PM and I got up just over an hour ago. Let's see how
this crap goes! Knockin' some poker out of the park. I got that
going for me. Open Mic is tomorrow night. Got that going for me.
Got a syllabus for my June class... got that going for me? Looks
like it'll be a lot of work for three and a half weeks. Three 2 page
papers and one 8-10 page paper. That's a lot of pages! The good news
is whatever, who cares. I'll worry about that in a month. Crap and
crap, what else is crap. Got unhealthy dinner lined up for tonight.
Hamburger with fries. I may be able to split it into two dinners, if not
one dinner and some snack. Let's keep our fingers crossed! Unless
you need to do something with your fingers. Then uncross 'em and get the
Anyway, what the what. Thinkin' about what songs to
play tomorrow night. Most likely won't know for sure until I'm there and
it's my turn. If I get to do 2 songs, I'm pretty sure 1 of them.
Overall, I got a choice from 7 or 8. Got that going for me. One of
the songs references the word, "Sidewalk." The place is at the Sidewalk
Cafe! They'll think I'm talking about them and either like me for it or be
furious. Why would they be furious? I don't know, I'm not
good at reading people or predicting how they'll feel. Furiously
Happy maybe. Maybe. I don't know for sure.
Third paragraph. Better if I play that song the third
or fourth time I go there in this incarnation of me going there, then they'll
think for sure it's about them, and applaud wildly at the mention of the word.
Gettin' people involved and whatnot. I also mention the word, "The," a
lot. That's sure to get people goin'. I don't know. What
else and crap. I hope Japanese Friend I made is there. I can tell
him I know how to play the melody to that Japanese Christmas song that was the
theme of Elf and Weezer had covered. You know the one based on those two
references. My audience is a huge fan of Elf and Weezer deep cuts.
If they're anything like me, at least.
You are, right? You gotta be something like me, to be
entertained by this crap. I was just barely young enough to enjoy Elf
fully when it came out in theaters. Around 13. Just made it.
Crap and crap. Whatever happened to the Indian In The Cupboard. He
still doin' alright? Must have said it before, but when I saw that movie
in theaters, I was in my seat, then some old lady sat on me, not realizing I was
there. It was the most action I ever got in my life pretty much up to now.
Anyway, crap and crap. Fourth paragraph. Poker has a new thing where
every time you leave a table, they pressure you to either try to recoup your
losses by gambling whatever you lost, or to go double or nothing on your
winnings. Fine, I don't care. But gimme an option not to see that
choice every time I exit a table. I might hit the wrong thing by accident!
Those hooligans, I hate them so much. Fifth paragraph.
Mets on tonight. What else. I hate watching Mets on FOX or ESPN and
not knowing who the announcers are. One of them is always some
semi-current player that I'd definitely know, but they only give small clues as
to who he is, and I have no way of finding out. Really ruffles my
feathers. Also, they ain't as good as Mets broadcasters. I'm a big
fan of Gary Cohen Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling. They're great, I say it
un-ironically or anything. If team records were based on the quality of
commentators, they'd be doin' great.
Anyway, crap and crap. Also, FOX's camera angle is from
the left of the starting pitcher instead of the right. What a strange
world we live in. Sixth paragraph. I wonder how many at bats it
would take me in the majors to make contact. 1000? I mean, I must be
bound to make contact at some point sooner or later by chance. Just square
around to bunt every at bat, it's gotta happen once. Anyway, what the
what. Unless they intentionally walk me every time I'm up. Then I'll
never make contact. Those hooligans! Gotta refill my Snapple. I'll
keep you updated on this issue as it progresses. Man would it be great to
get a 10 dollar bonus at the end of the month. I'm already at a pretty
sustainable rate, but that would shut the door of sustainability assuming I
don't start playing terribly/move up in stakes.
Great! Seventh paragraph! If I had my electric
guitar, I don't know if I'd use it or not at Open Mic. Something to think
about for upcoming weeks. Also, I was planning on not doing it once June
Class starts, but I still might. Tuesday class starts at 1:00, gotta be up
at 11:00. I get home at 2:30, that's no big deal. I normally don't
fall asleep till 3 or 4 anyway. Would have to argue with my parents some
about doing it, but ultimately it's up to me. Anyway, what the what.
July/August clas probably not. Class starts at 10 or 11. I will
check right now to see which one! It's 10. That's no good.
Whatever, what else is going on. Still need to refill my Snapple. I
told you I'd keep you updated, and that was no fib.
I just refilled my Snapple in the form of refilling it with
Diet Dr. Pepper. What a strange world we live in. Crap and crap,
eighth paragraph. Gonna contact Guitar/Vocal teacher today, either through
e-mail or calling him back on the presumed number he called me. Great,
just great. I'ma be a superstar at music skillz. Anyway, crap and
crap. The available avatars for Poker Site are robot, basketball player
was a basketball for a head, zombie, super hero, and zombie. I'm goin'
with the zombie. That's how I feel. Anyway, crap and crap. You
can also choose poses for them, but it doesn't carry over from table to table,
so that's no good.
Anyway, what the what. Ninth paragraph. Sounds
good to me. What else. I don't know. Eleven more paragraphs to
go, that's for sure. Let's get into a groove and whatnot. How about
that news, huh? Sure is newsy. Which is a word. I had
not idea! Wow! You learn something every paragraph. I wanna
take one of those tests that tells you your ancestry and whatnot. I bet
I'm from Planet Earth! No Alien or Predator blood in me whatsoever.
Let's hope not. Or, let's hope so. Those guys are pretty powerful.
I want to be powerful. It would make me... powerful. Whatta
10th paragraph. Is Predator a robot? I don't
think so, but we can't rule anything out at this point. I hope we never
meet aliens on the basis of, Oh, so now we have to be friends with these
guys? We have enough friends. That's how I feel. Crap and
crap. Also on the basis of they will kill us. That's what I've been
led to believe by science fiction movies. THe only alien who doesn't kill
us is ET and that's because he's lonely and wants to be friends with little
boys, which is threatening too in and of itself. What's he up to. I
don't trust this guy. I never saw the movie. I'm part of the
generation that was two years too young to watch ET.
I'm of lots of generations. Well, one generation.
But that one generation can be described and qualified in lots of ways. If
anything, I'd call it, "The Windows 95 Generation." Gotta call it
something. Anyway, what the what. AOL might be a better reference.
Who am I to say. 11th paragraph. Maybe the generation whose first
real political consciousness was the 96 election/Bill Clinton's Impeachment/2000
election. Remembering each one with an increasing level of understand-ment.
I also remember stuff since then. Something about a terrorist attack.
I don't have all the details.
12th paragraph. Sure I remember NAFTA. Who could
forget it. I remember Seinfeld ending. Not watching the show in the
90's, but all that hubabaloo of it ending. Great, what else and crap.
Titanic. I gotta stop just listing things I remember. Gotta
stop it hardcore. What else is going on. Tricked my parents and will
trick Therapist into letting me take a Klonopin every day. It's prescribed
and makes me feel normal, but I still feel like I'm getting away with something.
Crap and crap. Same with Ritalin. That's how I feel. Can't
wait to get a coffee before Open Mic starts. That'll show people I'm an
adult! Show 'em hardcore!
13th paragraph. Yeah, I could have alcohol, but
I'm gonna have coffee. ...And alcohol later. Jeez, what the
what. They don't have skim milk, though. I have to drink regular
milk with my coffee like a chump. That's no good. Once my Dad was
going to Baskin Robbins or something, and he asked me and my brother if we
wanted anything. I said I wanted Cherry Biscuits. And me and my
brother spent 2 minutes backing up the story that Cherry Biscuits was a thing.
Then he asked for it, and they didn't have it. Then he came home.
And that's when the beatings started...
Hah. What else is going on. My parents never
beat me. High Five! Anyway, what the what. 14th
paragraph. What the what. Not gonna eat dinner when it gets here.
Most likely some time between 9 and 11. Shit, 9/11... it's all
coming back to me! Oh well. I prefer to remember the
aftermath of 9/11 where I got interested in politics and crap. That's a
positive way of looking at things. A little too positive... Huh?
What the what is going on. I think when I was very young I didn't
consider myself a Democrat because I sort of had a Fuck Everyone And
Everything mindset. Maybe around 2002, 2003 did I start to be a good
person. I still had a Fuck Everyone And Everything mindset in my
personal life, but politically, I was gettin' better. Probably due to Jon
Stewart and The Daily Show. Gotta be due to something.
Also, my parents were Democrats, and I specifically had a
Fuck Them attitude for a long time. Anyway, crap and crap. I'm a
good person now. That'll show 'em, that'll show them all.
What else is going on. 15th paragraph. Wow. Took a Ritalin a
few paragraphs ago, and that usually leads to me gettin' into all sorts of
grooves. I don't know. I might have always been a Democrat. I
remember being pro-Bill Clinton and then pro-Al Gore. I was just an
asshole in a more general sense, I guess. It's like how I used to like the
Yankees up to around 1999. Kids are assholes, especially me. That's
why they used to call me Kid Asshole. Note-- future solo-band name,
Gotta make notes about something. 16th paragraph.
One of the Allman Brothers died. It's a good thing they didn't have a
sister. Then their name would be lying. Jeez. What do
you expect, it's the 16th paragraph. What else is going on. Never
been a huge fan of Southern Rock. I like those two songs by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Freebird. And one other one, I feel. I will consult internet.
Sweet Home Alabama? That must have been it. Anyway, crap and crap.
I believe the content of Freebird was based on what Brooks does for Jake halfway
through The Shawshank Redemption. Because I believe things that are
Anyway, what the what. I never want to go to prison.
You know what they do to guys like me in prison, right? They make us give
them haircuts. Huh? I don't know what the point of that was.
Other than taking up sentences. 17th paragraph. Great. Also, I
would gain weight in prison. All you got to look forward to is food, so
you overeat. And I'm not the type to be toting iron or anything. The
only positive thing that could happen is my fellow prisoners taking my food, so
that way I'll lose weight. Can't hurt to dream, right?
18th paragraph. What the what. Sleeping in bunk
beds is cool, though. They got that going for them sometimes. What
else is crap. I feel like I watched a movie last night. Oh, The
Rock. It got great reviews, saying it was a great movie at what it
attempts to do. I don't know. Thought it was pretty mediocre myself.
Anyway, what the what. It was very Loud. It's got that going for it.
A real assault on all the senses. Most of them at least. Who, what,
where, when... Wait, no. Sight, Sound, Smell... Well, not
even a majority. Didn't even smell at all. Crap and crap.
19th paragraph. At this rate, I'm gonna go for more
than 20. Because I'm a Chump and Whatnot. Not looking forward to
June Class as much as before. It's great, I'll be around people, but it
seems like a fair amount of work. Not fair like, Oh, it's fair, the
amount of work. But fair like, Oh, it's a fair amount of work.
You get it. Get it hardcore. Even with that terrible qualifying
statement of what I meant. Crap and crap. Is part of the reason I
liked Open Mic so much because I took 2 or 3 of Ritalin and Klonopin each, and
had 3 or 4 beers? Possibly. Was it because I had a cup of coffee?
Probably. Was it because music and being around people is fun?
Definitely. What else is crap.
20th paragraph. Wowsers. Every week I get an
e-mail from Change.org saying, Mike, The Discussion Keeps Involving.
Is it from Bernie Sanders? Obama? Zephyr Teachout? Nope!
From the Bring Back Product 19 petition. Got my priorities in order and
whatnot in terms of what to be an activist about. Crap and crap. I
usually give a fake name when signing petitions, but close enough that I
consider it legitimate. Mike Korn. Mike Cornboom. Stuff like
that. I don't know, sometimes I give my real name. Depends on the
thing. And the place the thing is from. Wow.
21st paragraph. Jeez. I don't know. Did
I just admit to Petition Fraud? Uh-oh. Guess now I'm on my way
to jail to give haircuts. Anyway, what the what. I have over 20
dollars in poker. That's what happens when you keep hitting hands and
dodging bullets on the turn and river. At some point, it's gonna even out
and I'll lose a bunch of big hands in a row. For now, though, livin'
large! Just like Bill Murray. Conversation for then tyring to
cast Bill Murray in Larger Than Life-- Bill Murray: You want me to star
in a movie where I'm friends with an elephant? Are you insane?
Producers: We'll give you money. Bill Murray: Oh, I see.
Alright! 22nd paragraph. That's how We
Do. We being me. Do being do. Crap and crap. I don't
know. 6:13. Met game in line in an hour. Actually, no, it's at
8:00. Whatever. Matz pitched 5 perfect innings in minor league rehab
start! That's what I like to see. Lefties from Long Islands knockin'
some life out of the park. Except for him, keeping life inside the ball
park. Keeping life off the bases for 5 innings. Jeez. I don't
know what the point of this is. Kills time. Makes me feel better
about myself that I'm doin' something at least. Provides details
about my life in case I ever want to relive these golden years in the future.
Maybe one or two goof-balls per every 32 paragraphs.
23rd paragraph. Jeez and whatnot. I was thinking
about keeping a written record of how Open Mics are going. What songs I
played, how I did, what else happened. Seems like a cool thing to do, but
I haven't as of now. Or, just let the memories disappear into the ether.
That's another strong way to go. Anyway, what the what. Raining the
first half of tomorrow again, like last Open Mic. Should clear up by the
time I have to make moves there, though. Alright! I love when
weather works out for the best. Anyway, what the what. Gonna have to
refill my Diet Dr Pepper soon. I'll keep you updated on this situation as
it progresses and whatnot.
24th paragraph. How about that. I should have a
promotion where if you read an entire entry and are able to answer multiple
choice questions about it you get a prize. A dollar, or something.
That'll get people coming out of the woodwork to read this crap. Who can
say no to a dollar for, I don't know, ten minutes of your time? I have no
idea how long it takes to read this. I've never read it myself. I've
tried, and gotten bored. That's no good. What else. I've gotta
start doing comics again. Those are easy to read and are potentially fun.
Anyway, what the what.
25th paragraph. Food is here. Not eating it right
now. I kept you updated on that situation as it progressed. What
else is going on. Ate a few of my fries. Refilled my soda.
This time with Diet Pepsi! Variety is the spice of life. Crap and
crap, what's crappening. Lost a dollar and a half in poker! What
bullshit. I thought I was supposed to always win. That's what I've
been led to believe. Still got a great amount, considering I started with
1.35 dollars. Anyway, what the what is whatness and what. Steven
Matz isn't Jewish. I'm okay with that. If he was, though, that's
another characteristic we share. But he's not. So fuck that guy.
26th paragraph. Long Island is a lot longer than I used
to think. I used to think it was maybe about as big as Queens, not
counting Queens. It's way longer! Crap and crap, what else.
They sure got great local news, though. The subtext is all Hey, We're
All Wealthy, Get A Load of That! What else is going on. I don't
get why he changed the terms for Long Island in The Great Gatsby.
Something like West Egg and East Egg instead of the real names. Were they
copyrighted? If he said the real names would he have had to pay royalties?
Let's get to the bottom of this for some reason.
27th paragraph. Maybe he just didn't want people to
know where he was talking about. We figured it out anyway. The clues
are all there. Anyway, what the what. I read the book in high school
and saw the movie a few years ago and I'm still not 100% on what makes Gatsby so
great. Write in your answers to
firstname.lastname@example.org. Anyway, crap and crap. Open Mic tomorrow!
I can't hardly wait. Anyway. This time, instead of 50% of my songs
being totally fucked up from dropping my guitar too low 5 times, it'll hopefully
be 0%! I got that to look forward to. Maybe same people as the last
week. And just like that, Friends are Born!
28th paragraph. I guess. Some people gave out
their bandcamp or soundcloud page before or after their songs. Not me.
I haven't built up enough goodwill. No need saying anything when there's a
0% chance anyone will look me up. After two or three times around the
block, though, sneak that in. People are already on board with my crap by
then. Anyway, what the what. I sure hope everyone doesn't play
Freebird in memoriam. That'll make it last into next morning.
Commentary. Anyway, crap and crap, what else is crap. I'm gettin on
board with the Anti-Folk concept. Maybe if I do, they'll like me more.
29th paragraph. Sweet. The lady who hosted the
open mic was real chill. She said it was only her second time hosting.
I hope she's back tomorrow. She played good music before it started and
everything. Also, I gave my full name for when they called me up.
That way people know I mean business. Just won a big pot with AA vs QQ.
Now people at the table know I mean business. Crap and crap. I like
how every couple of weeks there's a story Americans killed 100 civilians by
mistake. Like it's no big deal. What the what? That's
fuckin' terrible! How are these people still our allies.
I don't know. Issues. 30th paragraph. Who
knows how long this'll be. You, in the future, if you skip ahead.
Or, you, eve more in the future, after you've read everything appropriately.
I don't know. Me in the future, too. After I'm done. The point
is no one knows right now. Right now either being me right now or
you right now assuming you didn't already skip ahead before this paragraph.
The point is this is an entire paragraph. How about that. Anyway,
crap and crap. Lookin forward to dinner completely tonight. On
account of it being crap. And not even part II or III of crap. Crap
I haven't eaten in a week or two.
31st paragraph. I'm in a groove and whatnot.
That'll end soon. I don't know. Met game in an hour. Dinner in
2-4 hours. LIRR in less than 24 hours! Holy smokes. This may
very well be the last paragraph. Or it may poorly be the last paragraph.
Commentary. What else is going on. I know you're not supposed to
drink salt water or urine, but if you're lost at sea, and you haven't drank
anything in two days, can't you just taste it to make you feel better? I
understand it will dehydrate you more-- don't swallow it. Just swish it
around in your mouth, you'll feel better.
32nd paragraph. Good chance this'll be the last
paragraph again. I don't know. Good part about getting to Open Mic
45 minutes early, beyond letting them know you mean business and getting a
coffee, you get your choice of seats. Pick a seat with a table where you
can see everything, it's all good. Anyway, what the what. There's a
good chance Open Mic will go terribly and I'll be like, That's what I was
excited for all week? Anyway, what the what. Do I dare aim for
35 paragraphs? That would be 3 more after this one. But it's a nice
round number. Like 0, or 8. Partly 6 or 9. Even 2, under
33rd paragraph. I'm goin' for it! Why?
Nobody knows. OCD? Very possibly. I think I developed OCD
because my mind was like, Well, he's got every other kind of problem he can
have, might as well go for some OCD, too. Stupid mind, I hate it so
much. What else is crap. I don't have Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Not to my knowledge. So I got that going for me. If anything, I love
the seasons. All of 'em. After three months of any one of 'em, I'm
happy about a nice change of pace.
Penultimate paragraph. Sweet. What else is going
on. Got stuff lined up for when this is over, that's always a positive.
Still no official grade from Environment. I better get a B, or I'm gonna
write an angry letter. To myself. And delete it before I could read
it. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. Crap and crap.
I wonder what happens to the cigarettes I litter on the street. Wash away
into the sewer? No one's goin' around picking up dead cigarettes, are
they? At this point, must have littered thousands of cigarettes.
Where do they go, where do they go.
Last paragraph. Maybe pigeons and squirrels eat them.
They ought to. They gotta start pulling their weight, that's how I feel.
They're privileged enough they get to live in our neighborhoods, let's see them
doing something productive with their time. I don't know. This is
almost over. 35 paragraphs and I can't remember anything I said.
Something about politics. And how America kills lots of civilians.
It's all a blur. What else. Do I really wanna stop after this
paragraph? On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, no.
36th paragraph. Now, that's just crazy. Sheet!
Issues. Crap and crap. Met game is lined up for in 40 minutes, but
before that, nothing specific to do. I sure hope I don't accidentally
gamble all my winnings when I leave the table. Misclicking is always a
possibility. In the past year, playing poker, I've probably misclicked
check/bet/fold a dozen times. Which is either a lot or not a lot depending
on your point of view. Crap and crap. And "Year" is a generous term.
It's really been nine or ten months. Get a load of that crap!
37th paragraph. I remember hitting a wall in the 11th
paragraph or so. I've written over 25 paragraphs since then! What
the Hell. Who needs so many paragraphs. Whatta jip. It's
actually a good thing Environment Teacher pressured me to do the unfinished
homework I didn't do. I'd be getting a C instead of a B. Still
passing, but B feels great. C is meh. When I got my Lab Grades, I
e-mailed the TA back I thought you dropped the lowest grade and she
responded no and I responded thanks a lot, asshole. Except
for that last part. Every other part of the story was absolutely true.
Three paragraphs to go. How about that. I'm not
too worried about North Korea. We live on the East Coast. The West
Coast can go suck a lemon. What else is going on. I don't know.
It's too bad the Mets don't have a good #1/#2 hitter in the lineup, beyond
Michael Conforto. You get a real good lead off hitter, you put Michael
Conforto hitting second, that's a great lineup. Let's talk about it.
It's Sports Chat. Anyway, what the what. I don't know. I'm out
of Diet Pepsi but I probably won't refill 'er up until entry is over.
Penultimate Paragraph! Again! What's going on and
crap. My back is starting to hurt from all this leaning over computer.
I get to lie down when this be done! Alright! Lots of exclamation
marks this paragraph. That's my takeaway from this entry. Crap and
crap. No drinking between last open mic and tomorrow's open mic.
Responsible! Knockin' some life out of the park, boy, you know it. I
think I've had wine half a dozen times and I never liked it. Tasted like
Last paragraph. It's about time. What else is
going on and whatnot. I don't know. Crap and crap. Why is
there 40 paragraphs. In the abstract, I mean. Philosophically.
The point is Almost Done. Get to take a bath later. Maybe shave.
I should shave. It makes me face look less bad. But that's five
minutes I just don't have. Well, I have the time. Not the effort,
thuogh. It's a lot of work standing in front of a mirror and getting rid
of your facial hair by any means necessary. What else is going on.
I'll see ya later.
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Entry Sequence Initiated
Hey friends and crap. Let's try
to write an entry. Just woke up an hour ago, usually it takes a few hours
of wakefulness to get started on an entry. Let's see how it goes.
I'm anticipating boredom soon, so I'm launching a pre-emptive strike of doing
something. In the form of entry. Let's see if it pays off and
whatnot. Doin' good in poker. If I can hold on to possibly get the
10 bonus dollars, I've got sustainable bankroll as long as I don't move up in
stakes. That's good stuff. Good for you, good for me. Good for
everyone. Except you, and everyone. Pretty much just me.
That's how that goes.
Whatta waste of a paragraph. Oh well. It was the
introductory paragraph, it's all information, no jokes. And thesis
statement. My Thesis Statement was, "That's how that goes." I will
now attempt to prove it throughout this entry. Anyway, crap and crap.
Watching some Alien Vs Predator. I sure hope it's not considered canon.
Which I believe is a cannon reference. Anyway, what the what. Alien
is a pretty good franchise. I saw Prometheus in theaters a few years ago,
but beyond that, I've seen all of 'em the last month or so. Except for the
new one. Jeez. This paragraph is even worse than the first one!
How is that possible. The first one was a real snooze.
Anyway, crap and crap. Got up relatively early today at 1:30. Cool!
Open Mic is two days away. Cool! Officially got the A in Playwriting
Class on CunyFirst. Hot! It's weather outside! Weather!
Sometimes I take quick IQ tests from Internet on my phone. I average about
a 135. Which is pretty good, but if memory serves me correctly, I got a
145 on IQ Test when I was 4 which led to me being in the gifted program.
145 is great. 135 is good. But I stay humble, I'm sure I've said it
here before, by imagining being in a packed crowd in a baseball stadium, and at
145 IQ, I'm in 99.75 percentile, and mathwise, that means there's 100 people
there smarter than me. 100 is a lot. I crunched the numbers and
Anyway, what the what. Of course baseball crowds may be
stupider than normal. Or smarter. I don't have all the details.
Fourth paragraph. Sweet. I'm getting kind of sick of porn.
These are the days of my lives. When I was younger, I didn't need porn.
Sure, I used it a bunch. But I had such a great imagination, I could just
use that. No more. Imagination ain't so great anymore. Days of
my lives. What else. I've never seen a Predator. Outside this
movie. Well, predators, I'm sure I've seen in real life. No direct
contact, but I've used enough public transportation, I must have seen some
predators, whether I knew it or not.
Issues. Crap and crap. I usually don't break even
in poker sessions. I either win a lot or lose a lot. Sometimes break
even. In fact, often break even. What the Hell was the point of
that. Jeez. Still being responsible with my drinking. At
most it's been once a week. That was the pact I made with myself and I'm
holdin' to it! Looks like I'm great and whatnot. Alien is a predator
and Predator is an alien. Cracked that code. I think. It's
more of an educated guess than anything. I guess. What the what.
Mets won last night. Maybe I was too quick to dismiss Neil Walker a week
ago when I was he was the pits. Still, though, I don't think he's worth in
the upper teens of million dollars a year. Let's get Wilmer Flores or TJ
Rivera to do his dirty work.
I guess. What's on the docket for tonight. Met
game. Part II of stuffed filet of sole. More poker. More
entry. Awesome. I watched an 80's horror movie last night directed
by Freddy Krueger. The actor. I guess. Also re-watched Day of
the Dead on DVD. It's alright. Not as good as Night or Dawn, but
it's got its own thing. It takes place in an underground bunker and you
really get that sort of feeling. That it's in an underground bunker. While
zombies are mucking around outside. I must have said it a dozen times
here, but I can't get into zombie movies anymore on account of the many ways you
can deal with zombies logically. I loved zombie movies as a kid, though.
So it all evens out.
Hell, the first complete script I wrote was Return of the
Living Dead IV. And by complete, I mean it was 30 or 40 pages. And
by I wrote, I mean I wrote half of it, another guy online wrote the other half,
and my brother chipped in a little bit with my half. Boy, I wish I could
re-read that. I guess. What else. Seventh paragraph. How
about that. I feel like I've been doing well in poker this time around.
I get good hands and other people fold. Talk about some Skill Set. I
don't know. What else. I wasn't joking about playing poker several
hours a day being good for my diet. There is an almost definite
correlation. And maybe a 50-60% causation! Wow!
Talk about eighth paragraphs. This is one of those.
Took a Klonopin last night. Klonopins are great. They don't get me
high at all or anything, but somehow I just feel more chill after taking them.
I'm on board with that. Anyway, crap and crap. I don't know.
It's like the Chill Center of my Brain has been clawn open! Sure clawn is
a word. It's the past verb tense of the whole thing. Jeez. I
don't know. Seventh paragraph. Eighth paragraph. That's
what I mean. Hit a brief wall. So far it's brief. It can
extend to moderate or extreme at any moment. Let's keep writing crap to
Ninth paragraph. I'm a little upset I didn't get an A+
in Playwriting. I don't know if they give A+'s, but they should have for
me. I'm not a fan of how side salads with dinner come with a bunch of
different crap in the salad. I just want lettuce. But if I ask for
just lettuce, I'm a chump. So I have to get soup or nothing, donate the
soup or salad to a family member. And I've had it up to here with soup.
Who needs it. Diner soup, at least. Chicken Noodle. Pass.
Matzoh Ball. Good, but carbohydrates-- pass. Now, Chinese Soup,
that's another story. Hot and Sour soup? I'm on board. Egg
Drop? If the situation calls for it, sure.
This has been Soup Talk. Call in with your thoughts on
soup at 999-284-1811. Anyway, what the what. THe Poker Site I play
on recently introduced avatars to have next to your poker user name. I
chose the zombie. He's got character. And it says a lot about who I
am as a poker player/who I want my opponents to think I am. Zombieism.
Great. Just re-filled my beverage. Went from Snapple to Pepsi.
Let's see if that pays off in the long run. Hey, it's the 10th paragraph.
Whatta joy. Granted, I haven't looked at the TV screen in an hour, but
I haven't seen one alien or predator this entire time! Whatta jip.
Crap and crap. I liked the Tweet I made a year ago
about I Thought Alien and Predator Would Be Friends. Stupid things
make me laugh. Especially stupid things said by me. Pot committed to
the whole thing at that point. In this movie, it takes place at an ancient
pyramid in Antarctica, or the arctic circle. One of 'em. Good thing
it hasn't melted yet. Give it a few decades. Commentary.
What else. Apparently Jimmy Kimmel's daughter needed health care.
Celebrities, am I right? Also, imagine I said that three weeks ago.
Then, imagine I didn't say it. Then everyone's happy.
12th paragraph. David Fincher directed Aliens III.
Turns out Sigourney Weaver was the alien the whole time. Commentary.
What the what. AVP teaches an important lesson. Pyramids-- Leave
Em Alone. You never know when two aliens will be fighting in them with
no regard for human life whatsoever. I guess. Hittin' another wall
here in the 12th paragraph. Power through it! That's my intention.
I don't know. What the what. Maybe it's too early to write an entry.
I haven't accumulated any goof-em-ups in my short time of being awake today.
I have written 12 paragraphs already, though. So, great, what else.
13th paragraph. Maybe if I had a better distraction on
TV that I was actually somewhat engaged in, my life would be better. Or at
least this entry. Or my life. Or somethin' in between. Or
something out of bounds for both those reference points. Lotta
possibilities is the point. Crap. Hey, the movie ended! It's
about time. Now what to turn TV to. Body Bizarre. I can
live with some freak show being on in the background. That's pretty good.
Anyway, crap and crap. There's a space in between inbetween.
Commentary. I've been playing guitar for over a dozen years and I'm still
not sure whether it's pronounced Cap-oh or Cape-oh.
Gotta be not sure about something. Anyway, 14th
paragraph. Let's get it goin' on. Who cares if I get a B- in
Environment. Don't effect my life none. Still though, gettin' a B,
that's livin' the dream. Jeez. I had a dream they started making
Product 19 again but they used a different name and I was like, I'm not happy
about that, but close enough. Gotta dream about something. I
like how many freak shows they have on TV under the guise of being sensitive to
the freaks' medical conditions. Like it hardcore.
15th paragraph. Just gotta get to 20. Then I'm
done. I don't like how they have freak shows on TV. In
theory. In theory. I still watch 'em. But I do
get into the sensitiveness into their conditions. These freaks are just
like us. I'm a freak. If I was 4 inches shorter I'd be a dwarf.
Three inches by the time I'm old. Anyway, crap and crap. I don't
know. Danny Devito might be 4'10, especially now that he's older.
He's no dwarf. Robert Reich. He's a king among dwarfs. Jeez,
what else and crap. Discovery Life-- All Freaks, All The Time!
I guess, what else is going on.
16th paragraph. Shoehorned the If someone was 100
feet tall, they'd be great at baseball riff into my Chicken Religion Play.
That's a big reason why I'm not proud of it. Anyway, what the what.
I bet Danny Devito gets all sorts of pussy. I think he's married to
that lady whose in things. Oh well. Crap and crap. At least
I'm gonna be thin within a few months. You're short and thin, great.
You got a nice compact body. What lady wouldn't love a nice compact body.
Ladies with things wrong with their attraction centers of their brain, that's
17th paragraph. Sure these paragraphs are short, what
of it. Short like me. Nice and compact. Anyway. If
they're after Jared Kushner, Trump can't be far behind. Those two are peas
in a pod they are. Jared Kushner is a strain of marijuana that'll get you
back channels to crazy ways of thinking. Commentary. The weight loss
show, My 600 Pound Life, the doctor they all go to for surgery is Dr. Nowzaradan.
Why they didn't call the show Weight Loss Now is beyond me. Anyway,
what the what what. Three paragraphs to go after this. I can do that
for some reason.
Anyway, let's get back on track. Presuming I was on
track at some point. What else. Gotta clean up my room a bit.
Still 95% clean from last time I cleaned up my room. Just gotta clean up
this desk my computers on. That kind of crap. Open Mic was fun.
50% because I got out of my house, 50% the open mic itself. Going to and
from there is half the fun. LIRR is great. Penn Station is one of a
kind. Walking in the city-- much more fun than walking in Queens!
That's how I feel about things and you can't argue with a feeling. I'm a
little upset that I might have already seen all the freakiest of the freaks.
If there were any freakier, they'd have been on TV already.
19th paragraph. Cool. I think when I was very
young I was convinced my parents named me after Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles. I don't know if I thought that specifically, or just sort
of imagined it as a lark. The point is it took up several sentences.
I'm more from the Power Rangers generation. They were the thing when I was
five. If I was 2 years older, It'd have been the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles generation. That's how I feel about things and you can't argue
with a feeling. I don't know. Do I go over 20 paragraphs? Only
time will tell.
20th paragraph, that's for sure. I made one fatal
mistake in 2008 which, had I not done it, I might still be smoking weed today.
I had one of those pipes that look like a cigarette, and I left my room holding
it for some reason, at a time my parents didn't know or didn't acknowledge that
I smoked. Went to the stairs to talk to my parents, my Mom saw it, and
that was the end of that. It could have continued on a don't ask/don't
tell policy forever. Oh well. It's for the best. When I was
getting high, that was all I was about. Now I'm about bigger and better
things. Like an example or two, one would imagine.
21st paragraph. Maybe go for 25. Maybe not.
Narrowed it down to those two things. I'm missin' all these great freaks,
busy paying attention to poker and to a lesser extent Website. I guess.
What else is crap. I can't tell you one thing that happened in Alien Vs
Predator after the first 10 minutes. Something about being friends with
Predator to work against Alien. Don't know how that turned out for them,
though. I've also seen the movie once before and I still couldn't tell you
anything else about it. I'ma use bathroom brb. Also, I keep
intending to start calling it the rest room. BRB.
Ain't crazysheet great. Now you know my urination
schedules. Jeez. That's right, I keep a schedule. Gotta
have everything running smoothly and on time, Mussolini style. 22nd
paragraph. What fun. I don't know. Met game in two hours and
change. That's fun. Sometimes the pitchers strike people out--
sometimes the hitters hit the ball into fair territory without anyone catching
it or playing it off the ground to throw the batter out at a base. That's
baseball for ya. I'm not 100% if Seth Lugo is supposed to be good, but
that's a solid name. Seth Lugo. That's a name I can get behind.
23rd paragraph. What the what! I've got over 11
dollars on Poker as of now. Sustainable if I don't fuck it up!
That's great for Diet. It's about time things started goin' my way.
Sure. And if I get an extra 10 dollars, oh boy, I can't even fathom.
The only thing I can fathom is moving up in stakes like a chump and then blowing
it all. Can't do it this time. I gotta learn at some point, right?
Seems like a logical argument. And you can't argue with a logical
argument. I don't know. What the what. Crap and crap.
24th paragraph. How'd that happen. By writing
crap, apparently. I confirmed that one of the phone calls I got early in
the day this week was from Guitar Teacher. I'm gonna send him an e-mail
apologizing for not picking up the phone and reiterating I want lessons.
I'll do it tomorrow. I don't wanna seem too desperate. That's no
good. Then people will think I'm too desperate. That's no good.
Anyway, what the what. I do gotta recognize, though, even with this,
I'm almost definitely not gonna make money being a musician. Just
gotta look at it as some fun to get done while I still can before I graduate.
I can't have fun after I graduate? Sure I can.
But it'll be different. Adult Fun. Like watching Better Call Saul.
That sort of crap. I like Breaking Bad, I like Bob Odenkirk. Why
do I not watch this show. Get off my case about it. How dare you
and whatnot. When they run out of time having Better Call Saul as a
prequel, do they skip past Breaking Bad and thus start making it a sequel?
These are the issues we must confront sooner rather than later. Why skip
Breaking Bad. Let's see all that from Saul's point of view.
Sounds fun to me.
26th paragraph. Crap, looks like I'm goin' for 30.
Like a chump. Or a hero. You decide. Anyway, what the what.
Crap and crap. Five paragraphs to go. I'm in the zone now, though,
so great. I refrained from using bathroom on LIRR for fear someone will
steal my guitar. How do you steal a guitar, though. Unless it's a
steel guitar. Issues. Crap and crap. If Trump is so
obsessed with money, how come he hasn't pursued getting a sponsorship from
Twitter. He musta brought loads of people to the site. Verdict--
Trump is a saint.
27th paragraph. Trump can be a hero if he saves
global warming. He won't do it, though. But if he did, Hero!
Well, it evens out with other things, and leaves him below average.
The point is Great. He's got a lot of real estate on the coasts. It
seems like it would be in his best interests to stop the ice caps from melting.
This guy likes doing things in his best interests. Oh, but he's also
friends with oil and natural gas and coal. Anyway, crap and crap.
Three paragraphs to go after this. Or more. Sometimes I write more.
28th paragraph. Alright! Anyway, crap and crap.
As one gets older, do they get more and more interested in MILF porn?
Let's get some studies on that. Also, shouldn't it be MILTF? I saw
the origin of that acronym in a movie and that's what it should be. I was
there on the ground level. Maybe you get less into MILF porn, I don't
know. That's why we desperately need studies on the subject. Mom
I'd Like Fuck. Let's speak English people. That's no good
grammar whatso have it. Crap and crap. I was a little upset to find
out the WWF wasn't a wrestling league for endangered animals. I was a
little upset about that joke.
29th paragraph. Wow! Either I finish this entry
after 30, and get to relax. Or I keep writing, and get to... what's the
word... it's definitely not relax. Have fun! That's a word.
Sure, what else is crap. Some real quality Freak Shows going on in the
background. I don't even mind not being able to look at it. Hearin'
it is just as fun. Plus, makes it more relatable. I can relate to
people with syndromes and whatnot. Not seeing them, that only works in
their favor. Crap and crap. I have a memory of introducing my song
at Open Mic by saying, I'm actually gonna get a guitar and vocal teacher, so
it's not gonna be good now, but when I come back in 9 months, it's gonna be
Wonderful. What else. I don't know. I
sure hope I didn't miscalculate and actually don't graduate after the fall.
I almost said don't retire after the fall. Goofballz.
Anyway, what the what. Whatta watch when I'm done with this. I'm
gonna have to pay 20-30% more attention without this and poker going on.
We'll see and whatnot. Good chance I'll actually stop after this
paragraph. Unless I get into a groove. And I'm running out of time
for that to happen. Wow. Guy I met at Open Mic also did a sweet
rockin' cover of Don't Think Twice Its Alright. I have a recorded version
of me doing a cover of that! That's 90% worse! Sure got all the
words right, though!
One more paragraph. I have no allegiance to following
the "One More Paragraph" rule. Allegiance isn't the right word. Rule
isn't the right word. Still, though, 70% of the words in that sentence
were right. Pretty good. What the what. I don't know.
Crap and crap. I don't know, gotta write one more paragraph. I can
do that for some reason. What else. Aren't people who are 400 pounds
just gonna gain 200 pounds so they can be on TV? That would be my
hypothesis. I guess. That's what a hypothesis is! I
guess. I'll see ya later.
Friday, May 26, 2017
Hello. Probably gonna write half
an entry, take a break, write second half of an entry, take a break, write a
third of an entry... I'm just jokin' around! You can only have 2
halfs! Goof-em-up! Anyway, what the what. Got an A in
playwriting. Professor was like, this Chicken Religion play is like
Abbott & Costello, Woody Allen, and Mel Brooks combined, only 100x better!
Except for that last part. We can assume he would have meant only 100x
worse, but he didn't say, so we'll never know for sure. Still haven't
gotten a letter grade in Environment, but hopefully that'll be a B.
Hello. Wait, I already covered that.
Anyway, second paragraph. Got some money on poker! Ended up coming
second in that freeroll from yesterday for 1.35 dollars. Now up to 5!
That'll show 'em, show 'em hardcore. I believe if I play enough before the
end of the month, I accumulate enough points to get a 10 dollar bonus. So
if I can keep my roll going that long, I'm back in business. Possibly.
Not 100% on that. Anyway, what the what. I've noticed a correlation
between my dieting ability and having money on poker. If I'm playing poker
several hours a day, I can diet more. I have several hypothesises.
1) Satisfies some urge in me, I get pleasure from poker instead of food.
2) If I spend more time on poker, there's less time to spend on food.
3) There is no causation, just correlation. 4) There is no
correlation, I'm just wrong about that.
Great! It's good to have hypothesises. It makes
me smart and whatnot. In the e-mail, though, the professor said Abbott &
Costello, Woody Allen, and "M el Brooks." So he might have been talking
about some guy named M. El Brooks. If so, I gotta look this guy up,
apparently he writes riffs like me! What the what. The first half of
the play is much better than the second half. I just wrote the second half
very quickly to get to 10 pages, with the thought, "Who cares how bad it is,
I'ma get an A anyway, let's just get it over with." I basically spent
three of those 5 pages talking about a softball league the Chicken Religion is
in with other fringe religions.
Anyway, what the what. New class in 10 days!
Alright! What is this, fourth paragraph? That's cool. I don't
know. What kind of goof-em-ups can I write. I like how Trump gets
along great with Russia and Saudi Arabia, and then tells NATO to go fuck itself.
Here's a guy who represents American interests! Another victory for the
Democrats in Montana! The guy almost came close to the verge of almost
winning! Jeez. He was a musician, too. I'm on the side of
musicians in general. On account of almost being on the verge of coming
close to being a musician. Jeez. Probably gonna do open mic on
Monday again, even with a 9:30 Therapist appointment. I'll stay up for
Fifth paragraph. The guy I was talking to last open mic
turned me on to some Japanese punk band. Gave 'em a listen and they're
pretty good. I can't speak to the punkness of their lyrics, though.
Except for them being in Japanese. That's a pretty Punk thing to do.
Nobody understands what they're saying! Punk! Great. Crap and
crap. I get to watch the Mets lose again tonight. That sounds like
fun. They might score a run or two, that's entertaining. Stands to
reason their pitchers will strike out someone, that's fun to watch. I was
just watching Half Baked for the thirtieth time and just recognized it was
Steven Wright on their couch. Comedy!
Crap and crap. Not losing weight at the rate I would
hope, but still losing weight. Kind of disappointed each time I check, and
it's not where I want it to be, but it's still less than the last time I
checked, so it's all good I guess. Sixth paragraph. How'd that
happen. By writing crap, it seems. Steven Wright is pretty good.
I bet he gets all the ladies. Jeez. Crap and crap. It
also took me to the twentieth time of watching Half Baked to realize Dave
Chappelle was also Sir Smoka Lot. Also, this thirtieth time, I recognized
Jan was a Silverman. First I was like, hey is that Sarah Silverman.
Turned out it was Laura Silverman. I was pretty close and whatnot.
7th paragraph. Anyway. Not gonna eat dinner when
it gets here, so no break halfway through entry. What's going on and crap.
I don't know. I was in a groove and everything! Took a bathroom
break and figuring out what I want for dinner break concurrently, I come back,
got nothin' to say. I blame breaks. Jeez. Met game in an hour.
This might be the time they win! They're due and whatnot. I'm
looking forward to Steven Matz coming back. He's a lefty from Long Island.
Me too! Roughly. I live on the island known as Long Island.
But it's not technically part of long island. Whatta jip.
So close, yet so far. Also, I live close to Long Island
compared to other parts of Queens. Even closer, yet even... farther?
I guess. It's not really even farther. It's the same amount
of farther. Maybe even less farther. Luke I am your Farther.
Whatta jip. They can always bring Han Solo back from the dead.
That franchise is all about magic, you can do anything with magic. Crap
and crap. I'm not 100% sure how light sabers are more effective than
regular sabers. Seems like they accomplish more or less the same thing.
You can bet they're a lot more expensive, though. Light doesn't come
9th paragraph. Edison is thinking, If I knew my
invention would lead to violence, I'd never have done it in the first place, in
a galaxy far far away and at some point farther in time. Anyway, what
the what. Not 100% sure how light is damaging to people. I'm sure
there's a good explanation, but I don't have it. Anyway, crap and crap.
I bet it turns out George Lucas is a distant distant heir to the Skywalkers.
Then he highfives all his friends, that's a cool thing to be. Pretty sure
most kids who have never seen the movie assume the guys name is Dark
Vader. Makes sense to me.
Anyway. I was thinking, if they want kids to stop
gettin' hooked on cigarettes, legalize marijuana. What 15 year old kid is
gonna choose tobacco cigarettes when he can get marijuana cigarettes. You
can thank me later. Anyway, what the what. Is that an argument
people even use? You know, regular cigarettes are legal. They
kill millions of people a year. Marijuana doesn't. Seems like an
obvious argument. Anyway, what the what. Crap and stuff. 10th
paragraph. Gettin' some stuffed filet of sole for dinner for tonight and
tomorrow. That's healthy. Fish is a healthy.
11th paragraph. How about that. Pretty sure my
guitar isn't and wasn't perfectly tuned for Open Mic performances. Oh
well, that adds to my style. I'm the kind of musician whose not good at
tuning his guitar. That'll catch on. Crap and crap. I was
making a list of my favorite movies of all time. Because I like making
lists. That's the end of that story. Gonna shave before June Class.
I made a pact with myself. Gotta honor pacts. If we don't honor
pacts, what does that say about us as a people. Jeez, crap and crap.
Computer Mouse is acting up. Whatta jip. I need it for clicking on
12th paragraph. How about that. Crap and crap.
Mouse seems to be better. Let's hope it stays that way. Gotta hope
something. Anyway, what the what. It's not 100% but better than it
was a minute ago. What else is going on in life that's non-mouse related.
Been watching some Simpsons episodes on TV. My general rule of thumb is if
it's in the first to, lets say, 13th season, I watch it, if its after that, I
don't. Roughly 13th season is the cut off, I'd say. 1-10 is a sure
thing. 11-15, we'll see. After 15, who cares. It may still be
good, but it has no nostalgia value to me.
13th paragraph. Started re-watching Larry Sanders.
That's a scary show. When is Hank Kingsley gonna go crazy and shoot up the
entire office. Sure, I know he doesn't, I've seen the series before.
But there's underlying tension that it may happen, which is intense
enough for me. I don't know. Crap and crap. Let's see, words,
words... Jeez. The Mets are gonna have 9 players going at any given
point during the game. That's pretty good. That's a lot of players,
and their combined effort, wow. That's all I have to say about that.
14th paragraph. What the what. I don't know.
What kind of goof-em-ups do we have in store for the rest of the entry.
Hopefully some. I don't know what kind, but as long as there's some, I've
done my job. What's up. The guy I was talking to at Open Mic played
The KKK Took My Baby Away and now I can't get it out of my head. Oh well,
live and learn. I played two of my songs and I got them out of my head
right quick. Perhaps on account of them not being catchy or anything.
Oh well, live and learn. Six paragraphs to go after this. Sweet.
That's an okay number of paragraphs. I'ma take a short break to refill
soda. In a minute.
In the mean time, 15th paragraph! Wow. I poured
myself some orange soda. Wow. Knockin' some life out of the park.
What else is crappening. Fish is like meat but different. Cracked
that code. Hey, it's the 15th paragraph! Met game in less than half
an hour! I'm smoking a cigarette! I know for sure I will have the
opportunity to eat dinner tonight! Orange soda! Smoke is coming out
of my cigarette! My mouse is working! Sometimes everything in life
just clicks and you know you got it goin' on and whatnot. Jeez. I
must be out of things to say. It happens several times an entry.
16th paragraph. I'm lookin' forward to seeing what
Steven Matz is all about. Does he have ace stuff in him? Will be be
a high quality #2 starter? Will he be just good enough to keep a job
without excelling? Will he be a bust? So many questions, so little
answers As Of Now. Jeez. What else is going on. Met game
started. Earlier than usual today. What else is going on. What
does KKK want with The Ramone's baby. Seems kind of suspicious. THe
KKK is up to some nefarious crap, it turns out. The KKK is spelling at
least one word wrong. Clan definitely starts with a C. Not sure
about Ku or Klux, don't quite know what those "Words" mean. But they're,
at best, at 66% when it comes to spelling words correctly.
Jeez. What else is crap. 17th paragraph.
Four to go. I can do that and crap. I've always been a huge fan of
M. El Brooks! I wonder if all the Mets Starting Pitchers are friends.
My bet is that 80% of them are friends, and there's one, I don't know which,
that the rest are like, I could do without 'em. Gotta bet
something. I'm a degenerate gambler. Three and a half paragraphs to
go. Maybe eat sometime between 9 and 10. The later the better.
That's an extra hour of thinness without a meal. It's mathematics, you
18th paragraph. Still haven't gotten my electric guitar
fixed. They close at 3 and I haven't been up in time to do that. Or,
I've been up, and just not cared enough. One of those two things each day.
What else is what the what. I'm gettin' used to not having anything to do
every day. Great, just great. I guess I'll have to get used to class
again soon. Whatever. It's in my favorite building in Queens
College. Kiely Hall. Real quality building. Close to the
entrance and everything. What else and crap. Almost just two
paragraphs to go. Then time for some prime relaxation. In the form
of what, I haven't decided yet.
Penultimate paragraph! Whatta joy. I don't know.
Crap and crap. Jeez. Mets winning. There's a good chance that
might last a couple of innings. There's also a good chance I fill up the
next two paragraphs with utter bullshit. Prove me wrong! Jeez.
I've been playing very loose, because the more hands I'm in, the quickest I get
to free 10 dollars. Too loose! Gotta tighten it up. That's how
I feel. Now they think I'm loose, though. Hopefully I can use that
to my advantage. Decent chance I could use things to my advantage.
It's not beyond my skill set. I don't know. What the what. I
need to have money on poker to diet better. Apparently.
20th paragraph! Wow. What else is going on.
Bullshit and stuff. I don't know. What the what. If I play
tighter, then I win money, and it's easier to accumulate points that way.
Sounds like logic to me. Let's string 'er up! Huh? Wha?
Do I keep writing here because I'ma keep playing poker? I hope not.
I sure hope not. At least I don't have to eat General Tso's Chicken and
Rice tonight. That'll put the pounds on. Pretty sure it's just
carbohydrates. I gotta figure out what a Cup of things looks like, as a
measurement. When counting calories, Internet always says things in terms
of cups. I think I know what a cup is, but I'm not 100%. And if
you're not 100%, what's the point anyway.
21st paragraph. I have to keep playing poker, they
think I'm loose, now try to take advantage of it. Anyway, what the what.
A little above where I started the day, bankroll-wise. Should be more, but
that's on me. Oh well. What the what. Whose this M. El Brooks.
I wanna find out more about him. Apparently he's like me, only worse.
That was the impression I got from Professor's E-Mail. Jeez. I
graduate in a fuckin' half a year. That's no good. I got nothin'
lined up. Except for fantasizing about moving out of my parents' house.
Not sure how to put that fantasy into practice, though.
22nd paragraph. Alright! I did just take my
second Ritalin of the day around the 18th paragraph. That'll explain that.
I feel bad for Granderson. When Cespedes comes back, you gotta imagine
he'll lose his starting spot in the lineup? Well, that's what you get for
hitting .150. He's a good guy, though. I feel like I heard that
somewhere, and it would have been my instinct to guess anyway. Not like
that Juan Legares, I hate him so much. Huh? Where am I.
Entry. Huh. I like how Bernie Sanders says Democracy is not a
spectator sport. He's probably right, but that's certainly the impression
we get slammed down our neck throat heads. MSNBC, CNN, FOXNEWS. All
trains us to view it as a spectator sport. Conspiracy.
I'm onto their tricksies, that's the point. Well,
the table I was at broke, so I can stop at 25 paragraphs with no qualms.
You never talk about having qualms. If qualms are involved, you usually
have no qualms. No one ever goes I have QUALMS about this!
Conspiracy. Jeez, what the what. Montana isn't the smartest state,
that's what I've learned. Hmm, this guy assaulted a reporter... but he
did promise to lower taxes on people who make much more money than me.
It's a slam dunk! I believe Montana's claim to fame is Montana-- Are We
The Place With Mount Rushmore? Probably Not-- But We're Close!
24th paragraph. Jeez. I have a memory of Richie
Rich living in Mount Rushmore. Something like that. I don't have all
the details. Are people allowed to climb Mount Rushmore. Or is that
disrespectful to the presidents. Hmm. What else is going on. I
looked up my Dad on RateMyProfessor. Turns out he's a professor. He
wasn't lying about that. That's a relief. If he's lying about being
a professor, what else is he lying about? Jeez. Do two wrongs
actually make a right? I don't know. Nothing is for certain
25th paragraph. Boy I hope I stop after this one.
Who knows, though. Called off too much with ace high. Still in
business, though. Over 3 dollars. Over 3 dollars is business.
Let's talk about it. Also, I could be wrong about making 10 dollars if I
reach an amount of points before end of month. I'd say it's about 50/50
whether that is correct or not. Can't hurt to dream, though. Unless
you die in your dream. Then you die in real life. I've heard about
it from reputable sources. Still only the 25th paragraph. I can stop
Aaaand I won't. Whatta bullshit. Crap and crap.
Mets are winning by more than 1. Time to celebrate. We should make a
habit of celebrating winning games before the games are over. Seems like a
real good... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Let's move on,
though. Looks like I'll eat dinner around 10 or 10:30. Crunched the
numbers and everything. Jeez, what the what. This Poker reminds me
of when I would play in high school on poker sites, and you get a bonus after
you've played enough hands, so I would just try to break even to get the bonus,
then withdraw what I deposited. It's not like that, it is that.
Except for the part of depositing. It's all losses this time
27th paragraph. Cool. What else is crap.
Probably the best part of my play was calling the Chicken Religion the "Church
of Chicken Kinship." I guess. There's gotta be a best part of
something. Even things that are terrible. Anyway, what the what,
three and a half paragraphs to go. Then time to start thinking seriously
about when I'm gonna eat dinner. So I've got that lined up for me and
whatnot. Have you heard the good news about poultry. I
enjoyed that part too. Just won a really big pot. Now I'm actually
possibly at a sustainable rate especially if that 10 dollars thing happens.
28th paragraph. What the what. I'm talkin' over 6
dollars. Ya heard. I didn't even know counting goes that high.
What the what. It turns out degenerate gambling actually pays off
sometimes. How about that. Up in poker. Mets winning.
Nothin' to do for 10 days other than Open Mic which I want to do. All is
well and whatnot. Who knows, I can lose money each hand.
That's not good! I worked hard for this money. By hitting cards and
whatnot. Two paragraphs left to go soon for some reason. Alright!
What else is going on.
Penultimate paragraph! Again! Wow. Great,
now I have to write 2 paragraphs? What did I do to deserve such a fate.
I forget. Musta been something. Who can remember such things.
The point is what else do I have to say. I don't know. Whatta
bullshit. Aren't we due for a new season of The Rap Game? I'm still
waiting for The Punk Game. Nothing says punk like 15 year olds in a
competition on the Lifetime Channel. That's what makes it so Punk, bro.
Don't call be Bro. We don't have that kind of a relationship. I need
Wow, last paragraph. I'm so happy. Based on
hearing the Open Mic guy play The KKK Took My Baby Away, I did try listening to
some deeper cuts from The Ramones. And Deeper Cuts is a term used loosely.
I mean the 12 songs on the 22 song Greatest Hits Album that I didn't know.
And by that I mean I listened to three of them. And by that I mean I
listened to two of them. And by that I mean I listened to none of them.
Only ones I've already heard. The point is Great. I've been writing this
entry longer than the Met game has been going. And the Met game is in the
sixth inning. Great, just great. I'm almost done, though. I
got that going for me. I'm under 6 dollars. Where does poker get
off. What else. Maybe write one more paragraph.
Great. This is it. No second chances.
Whoever heard of a 32nd paragraph, that's crazy. Anyway. How you
doin'. Good? I hope. Jeez, what the what. I watched
Gandhi a few days ago. The movie. I wasn't just standing over his
corpse. It was okay. No goof-em-ups lined up for that. Oh
well, live and learn. What else. Which was better, Gandhi, or Lethal
Weapon II. Hmm, that's a tough one. Hmm. Gandhi used passive
resistance as a lethal weapon. Right? Sure. Hopefully, one
day, when people think of Mel Brooks, they'll think, He was the predecessor
to M Ichael Kornblum! Gotta hope something. Might as well be that.
I want to write one last paragraph because I'm a chump.
Sometimes you just get in a groove of not being in a groove
but writing anyway that you just don't wanna stop. That sometimes is Now.
What else. Gandhi was directed by the Grandfather in Jurassic Park.
Also, even without his grand kids being characters in the movie, I would have
called him the Grandfather in Jurassic Park for goofs. I don't know.
What else. Jeez. So close to this being over. I can dig it.
Still haven't been contacted by Guitar Lesson Person. I guess they gave up
after I didn't answer my phone. Quitter. I'm gonna write one more
Why!?! For goofs and whatnot. Also, number
alliteration. That's good stuff. I'll feel marginally better once my
B in Environment Class is confirmed. It's only logical I get a B. I
think I had part of a dream last night or the night before where he decided to
give me an A for some reason. On account of being all around awesome, or
something. Gotta dream something. I suppose. Unless you don't
get any deep REM sleep or something. Or anti-REM. One of those
things. The point is no dreamin' in that scenario. I'll see ya
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Finally, Some Time Off!
Hello friends. Pretty sure I
thought of some tweets over the last couple of days that I can re-appropriate
for crazysheet fodder. I'll let you know if I think of them. In the
form of saying them. Anyway, crap and crap! Finished with Spring
Semester. It's about time. I'm paranoid I sent my final play to the
wrong e-mail address. Gotta be paranoid about something. I just
added a few pages to Chicken Religion play. Without making it good.
But I figure I should get an A on account of my awesome class participation
skills and having a new scene every week. It's only fair.
Got the books for my next class. Hamburgler's Daughter
is supposed to be an A+ book. Great! Last book I read was for Comedy
Class last fall. Can't remember the last book I read before that.
Possibly 2/3rds of The Who Pete Townshend Book that I last read summer of 15.
Great! What the what and whatnot. Made the first steps towards
getting guitar/vocal teacher. I'ma knock some musical skill sets out of
the park. Great. What else is going on. Got phone calls the
last two mornings that I didn't pick up. Good chance one of those was from
Guitar Teacher following up on my inquiry. Oh well, there goes that.
What else is going on. I don't know. Part III of
III Chinese Food Dinner tonight. Great, just great. I've had it up
to here with rice! And here in this context is a very tall place!
Think of trees or something, or skyscrapers. Skyscrapers is an antiquiated
term. In our current age, we know you can't scrape the sky. Sky is
resilient. It can handle some tall buildings without a hole being torn in
the space time continuum. What is this, third paragraph? Sweet.
I think I'm gonna tell Doctor I shuold go back on Klonopin once a day instead of
as needed. Klonopin is great. Makes me feel chill. And I can
justify it by saying I don't drink anymore, so it makes sense. I'm not
just trying to score some drugs. Well, I'm kind of just trying to score
Fourth paragraph. I'm below the mean average
American BMI! That'll show 'em. Next goal, get below median average
American BMI. Then get in normal range of BMI. Then lose another 15
pounds. Then celebrate good times c'mon! I've been thinking about
what 300-400 calorie treat I can give myself each day when Diet is over. I
like the idea of getting a small Coffee Coolatta. That would hit the spot
and whatnot. It's got sugar and everything! Anyway, crap and crap.
I like going to different websites which approximate how many calories you need
to maintain your weight. One says I need 1900, another 2100, another 2350.
I tend to believe the 2350. It makes me the happiest so why not.
I'm pretty sedentary, though. Doesn't get much more
sedentary than me. Especially now I have no class. Pretty much no
walking altogether. Anyway. Hey, I'm writing an entry! I went
to pour myself some Pepsi and I came back and remembered. I had totally
forgotten for a good forty five seconds. Actually, it was a terrible
forty five seconds. I was in wayward ways, thinking I had nothing
productive going on. Now I'm back in action! Jeez, what the what.
Fifth paragraph, huh? That's pretty good. Guy in Montana assaulting
the reporter. Could be good or bad for him, depending on how its covered.
When I first read about it, the article said he, "Bodyslammed," him.
That's positive. It's like a face winning a wrestling move on a heel.
Bodyslam? This guy's great! If it just says Assaulted or
Hit, though, that's bad. You shouldn't be violent against reporters.
Bodyslammed, though, that has positive connotations.
That's how I feel about the issues. We'll see how it
turns out. At least he didn't piledrive him. That's no good for
anyone involved. I believe Montana's state motto is Montana!
Yes-- We're A State! Probably. Montana doesn't get a lot of
press. I'd be hardpressed to say one thing about Montana. Pretty
sure it's one of the square states. I'd say 50% chance on that. I'ma
consult a cartography picture. I was wrong. Oh well, you win
some, you lose some. Sixth paragraph and whatnot. Is the capital
Billings? I'm a consult an encyclopedia article. Helena.
That doesn't sound right. I'm pretty sure there's no capital called Helena
in America. Agree to disagree. Apparently there is a Billings in
Montana, though. So I get partial credit.
Seventh paragraph. My main point of reference for
Montana is Montana Max from Tiny Toons. Gotta have something as your main
point of references. Jeez. Crap and crap. Probably gonna do
open mic again next Monday, even though I had therapist appointment the next day
at 8:30. Figure I could just stay up the extra few hours. I'd
personally feel comfortable doing it the night before a class at 1 PM, but my
parents would give me some guff about it. Anyway, crap and crap. I
learnt a very important lesson this past open mic. Always take advantage
of the stools they provide.
Jeez, what else and crap. Mets muckin' it up. If
everyone is healthy, though, I still have faith in this team. There will
never be a time everyone is healthy, though. Pitching staff could still be
great if they're all healthy. Two aces in DeGrom and Syndergaard.
Two number two starters in Wheeler and Matz. One wildcard in Harvey.
Let's get everyone healthy is the point. What are they, stupid? Be
healthy. It's good for the team and good for your career. Don't be
chumps! I don't know. Eighth paragraph. Gotta do something.
Play I wrote wasn't that great. Sure was long enough debatably. Had
to be ten pages. Made it to one line on the tenth page after changing the
line spacing to 1.5. And the last line was So what do I do with this
piece of chicken, just throw it out? In reference to a piece of
chicken the guy left over.
So I got that going for me. Ninth paragraph.
Gonna forgo getting new TV to get lessons instead. That's a great way to
go. Real Adult and whatnot. Jeez. Entry, huh? I can do
that. I've done it before. I guess. It's been just about 12
years since I started recording my muck-em-ups on guitar. I remember the
first wav file I created of the very basic crap I was doin' on guitar was either
5.15.05 or 5.20.05. The point is that's not really worth talking about.
No goof-em-ups in that story. Except for using periods in the date instead
of slashes. To me, that's standard, but you might find it hilarious.
Tenth paragraph. Let's do it hardcore. And in the
past 12 years, I've gotten marginally better at guitar! How about that
crap. What else is going on. I'm hittin' all sorts of walls the last
paragraph or so. Time to power through. Can't let walls win. I
hate them so much. I sure hope I sent my play to the right e-mail.
It was the e-mail he gave us I'm pretty sure. But there's no way of
knowing. Great, just great. I get paranoid/OCD over stuff like that.
Sending to the right e-mail. That sort of crap. When I went to Open
Mic, I kept getting paranoid I forgot to put my guitar in my guitar case.
Gotta get paranoid about something I suppose.
11th paragraph. Halfway there. Something about a
prayer. I don't have all the details. Weird Al is releasing a
Complete Collections later this year with I believe several new songs.
That's great. I like Weird Al so much better than Normal Al. Whoever
and wherever he may be. Al Gore. People said he was like a robot.
Robots are practically the antithesis of weird. They follow logic and data
and stuff. Jeez. Crap and crap. Al Gore Ithm. Nailed
it. I started rewatching The Sopranos and I'm not really happy about
it. No need to rewatch it at this time.
Maybe re-watch Larry Sanders show. That's got goof-em-ups
and everything. 12th paragraph. Great, just great. Pot
committed to the whole thing and have to write more paragraphs. What kind
of goof-em-ups can I come up with. I celebrated Bob Dylan's birthday by
breifly considering reading the autobiography I have of him at some point.
Or at least I should have. Didn't think of it till just now. Oh
well, it's always yesterday somewhere in the world. Crap and crap. I
can't wait for new class to start. I'ma participate all over the place and
whatnot. And I'll be marginally thinner, pretty much forcing girls to be
intensely attracted to me.
13th paragraph! What the what! Steve Wilkos just
introduced Maury Povich as, "The master of DNA." Pretty sure that means
he's the world's top sperm donor. I'd pay some people to take my sperm.
Not in a gross way. In an artificial insemination way. I want my
seed gettin' out there, it'll make me proud. That's how I feel about
things. Anyway, what the what. Gettin' deep into a freeroll.
Might end up with 55 cents! You never know. I think theres a new
season of VEEP coming up. They shuold have written Donald Trump into the
storyline. You know, to add absurdity? Commentary!
14th paragraph. Jeez. Here I am, looking forward
to class like a chump. Stupid Ritalin, turning me into an adult. Who
needs it. Except for lab, I go through classes dreading them being over.
I enjoy being there. The only negative is travelling to and from. I
don't like waking up early and having to take the bus. But once I'm there,
no worries, I'm havin' fun. Because I'm a chump, I guess. Oh well,
live and learn. Every now and then I realize I need to have some ideas
lined up with what to do after the fall. Part of why I want to learn
guitar and singing now. I'm a pretty creative guy. If I had a good
skill set, who knows what I'm capable of.
Not me. And I'm the closest person to the situation!
Jeez, crap and crap. 15th paragraph. That may never happen, though,
because I'm not good at answering the phone. They do have my e-mail,
though, so, sure, yeah. I feel bad for Ariana Grande. Where do you
go with your career after having to be associated with a bombing. Even if
she is innocent (Although all the facts aren't in yet.). For The
Eagles of Death Metal, it was relatively easy. They have Death right in
the name. Already prepared to deal with such a thing. What does she
do. I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. Send in your
Anyway, 16th paragraph. Now we're gettin' into a
groove. I really hope the good guy wins in Montana. I'm sick of the
only positive news for Democratic Candidates being Hey, We Almost Came
Close To Winning! Let's get a for real win in the record books.
Anyway, crap and crap. These are all in Republican districts, though.
It's an up hill battle. Stupid hills, I hate them so much. The
2016 election was an Up Hill Battle. Commentary! I like
how during the election Hillary arguably went after Trump too much in lieu of
sending a positive message about her deal and crap. Now, Trump is in
danger of being impeached, and she's tweeting positive messages about her deal.
She got it all mixed up!
I don't know. I'm no political consultant. If I
was, I'd say Rule One-- if you're gonna assault a reporter, make it a body
slam. Very relatable to the common man. Anyway, what the what.
17th paragraph. Jeez. I like how in the post-Trump era, people are
unable to separate farce and reality. The Rock is not running for
president. But there are articles from everywhere, Is this a joke?
No-- he may really be considering it! No he's not. It's a joke.
Jesus. Anyway, what else and crap. I'm holding out hope one of
the guy from the Sonic ads runs. They got personality! At the
very least, give these guys a sitcom.
18th paragraph. Alright! Who knows how many
paragraphs it'll be. Jeez. Was gonna watch Exorcist: The Beginning
on On Demand, but it turns out it was on the Spanish Channel and in Spanish.
Not in My Country. I thought Trump was gonna take care of
crap like this. TV should be in English. That's how I feel.
Anyway, what the what. Also, watching the first four minutes in Spanish,
pretty sure I've seen this movie before. Not that I'd let that stop me.
Re-watching TV and Movies is a big part of life. That's how I feel.
A little tense about whether I'm gonna get a B or B- in Environment.
Should be a B. Both mathematically and in terms of what I deserve on
account of being great.
19th paragraph. Sweetness. Thinkin' about what
song/songs to play next Monday. Have a few ideas. Roughly five or
six. Anyway, what else. I'm sick of people offering to buy a
cigarette from me and then they go Oh I only have 15 cents and I'm pot
committed to giving them a cigarette. They tricked me! I shuold
alert police. I'm already friends with them by asking if I can play
guitar. One of them was like, I'd love to hear you play guitar and
I took it as honest, but thinking back, he might have been mocking me to gain
favor of his group of police friends. Sure sounded real, though.
The point is police love mocking people. Even people
like me-- Great People. 20th paragraph. What the what. Still
in freeroll. 55 cents is a real possibility! Wow! Anyway.
When I see a hand to completion with a losing hand, I'm a real muck-em-up.
Because of Poker Words. Crap and crap. Let's see, what else is
words. Mets need some Bullpen help. They should do a Ken Griffey JR
Baseball trade and give 10 utility players to get Mike Trout. Not sure how
that'll help the bullpen, though. Mike Trout is so good he could be a
starter and be awesome. Still not sure how that helps the bullpen.
If he's good as a starter, it stands to reason he'd be good in the bullpen.
Oh, so That's how it helps the bullpen.
Right. What. 21st paragraph. 25 is in
sight! Not literally. Figuratively, you know. That sort of
crap. I predict hitting a wall somewhere around the 23rd paragraph.
That's something to look forward to. Not literally, figuratively.
Oh, I get it. If Obama's 2012 slogan was stylized 4werd he probably
would have gotten less votes. That's my expert opinion. Anyway, what
the what. I'm pretty sure right before The Pope met with Donald Trump, he
turned to a cardinal and said, What, I gotta talk to this asshole?
Sure sounds like something The Pope might say. Anyway. Is Melania
Trump Catholic? Seems like something worth looking up. Here I go!
Yup, she is Catholic. So she's got that going for her.
22nd paragraph! Jeez. Crunch time in freeroll.
It's now or never. What else is crap. I don't know. Jeez and
bullshit, I guess. Whatta do with the rest of my days. Not
life-wise, vacation between classes time. Hopefully get in touch with
Guitar/Vocal teacher. He lists his three favorite singer-voices as Thom
Yorke, Ben Kweller, and Neil Young. I like all those voices! I'm
gonna be great! I bet Thom Yorke couldn't wait to start a band so he'd
have a new name. People finally stop calling him Thom and laughing.
Anyway, what the what. Three paragraphs to go after this sentence.
I'ma be hitting a wall soon! That was my prediction and
I stand by it. Not literally, figuratively. I am literally sitting
right now. Get a load of that crap! The great part about not being
The Uppers anymore is I get to waste a lot of time thinking of phrases that
could be band names. What a wonderful activity to spend your life on.
A part of me will always be The Uppers. Oh well, live and learn.
I'm in 11th place out of 17. Top 10 gets paid. Comin' right down to
the wire. Which is another show I'm not enthusiastic about re-watching.
2 paragraphs to go. What the what. Met game is in
my near future. Partially. Might find something better to watch
potentially. I like being behind on the Met game, but still having it all
loaded up on TV, so I can fast forward to the good parts. That's how I
feel about things and crap. What the what. I contacted this
Guitar/Vocal teacher, I don't know, three years ago, and talked to him once and
said I'd get back to him on whether I wanna commit to doing it or not.
Never called him back. Surely that's something he remembers and holds
against me this time around.
25th paragraph. Is 30 possible? Sure, it's
possible. Anything's possible. Except for things that are not
possible. Like, matter is neither created or destroyed or something.
It's impossible to destroy some matter. Whatsa matter with you.
Jeez. I do have a song where I use matter as a pun. So I got
that going against me. What else. It bothers me that when Cespedes
comes back, the three best hitters on the Mets are all outfielders. That's
no good. Gotta have some premium position players that are great.
Anyway, 26th paragraph. Could be an odd number of
paragraphs. Or an even number of paragraphs that isn't quite even, if you
catch my drift. I think a lot of what Trump says falls into the He Who
Smelt It, Dealt It category. I would give examples but it's more fun
for you to figure them out yourself. It's about time you started pulling
your weight in this nonsense. Jeez. I'm gonna come in 12th or 13th.
Whatta jip. What else is going on and nonsense. Odd number seems
about right for this entry. It's a wacky off-the-wall entry, should have a
wacky off-the-wall number of paragraphs.
The good news is this is the 27th paragraph. In terms
of weight lost, I'm close to being halfway done from starting weight to ideal
weight. I'm close to 2/3rds done with getting to healthy BMI. The
point is I'm knockin' some life out of the park. What else is crap.
In 11th place out of 14 right now. It's gonna come down to the wire.
Which is the same thing I said exactly a few paragraphs ago. Really wanna
drive the point home. About this activity and wires, and how they compare
and contrast. What else is crap. Three paragraphs to go after this
one for 30. Jeez, looks like I'm gonna go for it after all.
28th! Wonderful. I'm just happy there are still
Met games on WPIX. That's my takeaway from the last few months. I
don't know. Holy shit, I could have 55 cents on poker soon. I
hadn't fully processed how amazing that would be. I could even have more.
The deeper you get, the more you get, all the way up to 2 dollars 50 cents for
first prize! Now we're talking huge bankroll. Hey, just doubled up!
I'll make the money, probably 80% chance, now! Anyway, what the what.
Two and a half paragraphs to go. I got that going for me. Now
entering hand for hand play. How exciting. That's kind of an
outdated justice system, though. A hand for a hand. We've progressed
from that sort of barbarism as a society, haven't we?
Sure, what else. 29th paragraph. Just hit a wall
by watching Poker Table exclusively for 10 minutes. I'm in 6th out of 12.
Almost there. Shit got KK in big blind. This might be in.
Jeez. Hey, I doubled up! Didn't see that coming. Alright,
let's get back into entry mode. A paragraph and a half to go. Let's
do it hardcore. Dinner in my near future. Finally putting General
Tso's Chicken and Pork Fried Rice to rest. Tomorrow, it's onto bigger and
better things. Foodwise. Maybe not bigger. That doesnt sound
healthy. Better, for sure, though. I would have thought Jesse
Ventura would lead the league in body slams. The league of politicians.
I'd have thought wrong.
Whatta goof-em-up. Man, these short stacks are hanging
on. Who knows what's gonna happen. The Chicken Religion in my play
is called The Church of Chicken Kinship. I had Church of
Chicken... Started thinking about what acronym I could have. Cock.
Okay. That's a funny word. Wait a minute, Chicken Religion, Cocks
are chickens...!!! It was meant to be, I suppose. I was just
gonna have Church of Chicken Kinship said once, and if you notice COCK, good for
you, you win a gold medal. Ended up drawing attention to it in the play,
because I was out of crap to say. I might write an extra paragraph or two,
as long as I'm still in Freeroll.
31st paragraph. Why won't these short stacks die.
I want my 55 cents! Hey, one just died. Only one more to go. I
don't know. What else is there to say. Crap and stuff. Jeez.
I don't know. I hope I make the final table! How glamorous. I
guess. Jeez and crap. Alright, made the money. Now let's entry
it up for a few more sentences. Crap and crap. What the what.
Crap and crap. Damn, just said that. The point is I need to
write several more sentences for some reason. No one's exactly sure why.
Whatever. I'll catch ya later.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Let's Do An Entry!
Hello friends. Been a while.
I've been busy doing stuff and crap. Put out an album at
http://michaelkornblum.bandcamp.com/. Nothing new, but more or less
good songs ordered in a good order that represents my bullshit and crap.
Hopefully get guitar fixed in time to write a new batch before June Class
starts. Thinking about forgoing the new TV and getting guitar/vocal
lessons. Learning a skill is better than watching TV, right? One
would imagine that's a logical. Did an open mic last night. First
song went pretty much terribly. I had meant to sit on a stool, but forgot,
and I didn't have a guitar strap, so four or five times through the song my
guitar dropped to a point I couldn't hit the strings adequately and had to spend
a second and a half regaining balance. Second song went better with no
So that was fun. I guess. Got an 83.15 in
Environment Class. One would imagine that'll be rounded up to a B.
Sweet. June class starts in two months. That'll show me, show me
hardcore. When Open Mic was over, I got to Penn Station with the next
train leaving an hour and a half later. I asked some cops if it was legal
for me to find an enclave and just play my guitar. They told me to go do
it upstairs right outside Penn Station. I did it! It was fun.
A life long dream come true, for sure. Sad about what happened at the
Ariana Grande concert. Why do bad things happen to adequate people.
Sad. She's a good 'un. I saw her on shows such as SNL where she's
funny. I also saw her on shows such as Nickelodeon shows where she talks
in a funny accent. Bottom line-- Funny.
I'm sure her music is funny, too. That's my educated
guess. Probably gonna do Open Mic again next week. Some audience guy
said I was great and told me to come back. Can't say no to that.
Audience guys are pretty smart in general, that's been my experience. Made
friends with the guy sitting next to me. Japanese kid with a punk band
back in Japan whose here learning English. Pretty talented, too.
Also, compared to previous times I've gone to this open mic when I was bored
during 90% of other people's crap, I was into it pretty much 100% this time.
Maybe it's because I'm a little bit older and thus the older people who preform
are more peerish to me than last time. Maybe because I was on Ritalin and
Klonopin. Maybe because I'm better. Maybe because I'm more used to
being around people on account of all the classes at QC I've been taking.
Lots of maybes.
The point is, new paragraph. Fourth overall, it seems.
It's fun to do stuff. That's been my experience. People were
covering Bob Dylan songs on account of it being his birthday this year. I
don't have all the details. Looking forward to next June class. A
whole new batch of people to impress somehow. It's not a creative writing
class, I guess I'll just have to impress them with my great comments and
whatnot. Anyway, crap and crap. Got up very late today. About
an hour ago. Ordered Chinese Food that I put directly into the fridge, but
I needed to order it immediately so they'd still deliver. Such is life and
Been a while since my last entry. I spent a lot of
productive time traveling to Open Mic thinking of band names. Here's what
I got so far-- Getting Better. Triple Play. And, last
and definitely least, Where I'm From. They could be band names,
they can be album names, they can be song names, they can most likely by
nothing. Getting Better can't be a song name. Already been taking.
I like the idea of perpetually being Getting Better, though. Real positive
theme to live your life around. Which is what band names are all about,
right? Other than being puns and stuff. Crap and crap. I'm at
a point in my life where I feel The Beatles weren't all that good. But
still being able to recognize they influenced pretty much everyone that came
after them. Oh well. In a year I'll be back to thinking they're all
that good. Just a short respite from thinking they're not all that good.
I'm busy listening to other bands!
I tweeted a few weeks ago Ring Around The Rosie was
the first death metal song, which didn't get any likes or follow up
comments, possibly on account of only having 3 followers, and possibly on
account of people being stupid. It's a great one liner and whatnot.
Crap and crap. I gotta get back in the habit of ignoring news. THere
was a week or two I was really into hearing about how Donald Trump was fucking
himself, but even with that fun, I'm happier just living my life. Lemme
know when he fucks himself literally. Creates a robot that looks like him
and just goes to town.
Crap and crap. Seventh paragraph. Gotta submit my
final draft of a 10 page play. Feel like working on Chicken Religion.
That's the one play Regular Professor hasn't seen, so it makes sense to force
him to see it. The point is I got a solid 16 hours of sleep. It's
about time. I used excellent sleuth technique to figure out the names of
people in my June Class. Went to that Send E-mail To All button on
Black Board Page of Class, saw everyone's names. No one that looks
familiar. But the good news is I have Excellent Sleuth Techniques. I
feel like I got the creativity covered in terms of songs. If I had more
skill, I could do some damage. Plus, I got half a year until College is
over. Let's see what I can do.
Man is it great going into the city to do stuff. I'm a
fan and whatnot. I only got a 63 or 64 on Environment Final.
Granted, I didn't study at all. But I was pretty certain I'd get in the
70's or 80's, giving me comfortably a B. Now it's a little bit on the
edge. But considering I participated in class and did the vocab cards so
he knows who I am, most likely still gets rounded to a B. Did go overboard
with Ritalin/Klonopin though for the show. I wanted to feel as good as
possible during this respite from my regular room-confined life. Still,
though, over did it. I could do just one of each in the future.
Ninth paragraph. What the what. A week and a half
off completely after I do Final Version of Play. Mets are kind of stupid.
They're talking about wanting to bring Neil Walker back at a deal that would
certainly give him over 10 mill per year. He has an OPS lower than 700.
They have an equally good hitter in Wilmer Flores. Don't be chumps, come
on. They say he's a good guy in the club house. I'm not buying it.
Everyone tries to be a good guy in club house to leverage it into a higher
salary. I'm onto their tricks. Also, once Cespedes comes back, it's
a shame their three great hitters are all outfielders. Spread the love
around. Rosario coming in at SS next year probably. Domonic Smith at
1st. One of their catchers'll step up to be a good catcher. Leaves
the second base and third baseman infield to do more than hold their own.
Sure I'm as good as a general manager. I got it all
figured out. Crunched the numbers and whatnot. Tenth paragraph.
Roger Moore died. I guess now he's in Double O Heaven. Nailed it.
Crap and crap. I wonder if James Bond always introducing himself as The
Name's Bond, James Bond. And they're like, Great to meet you, weird
way of approaching a stranger, though. Didn't nail it. Crap and
crap. Stupid Beatles. They think they're so great at music just
because they're great songwriters. Where do they get off. When I
first woke up before going back to sleep, and saw it was 7 o'clock, I was like,
Jeez, I hope it's 7 AM. But it wasn't. That's the way the cookie
11th paragraph. What! Sweet. The bad thing
about Chinese Food is I'm gonna have to eat it four nights in a row. Oh
well, live and learn. I'm not sure what I weigh exactly, but I've reached
a point where I'm not embarassingly over weight and within a range people don't
care much. Anyway. Had three beers last night. I also had a
few drinks over the weekend. Like I said, I'm giving myself the choice of
drinking once a week at home, and I've not done it more than that. So it's
all good. I watched the Wizard of Lies. It was okay, but boy did
Robert De Niro stink it up. Should have cast Larry David. That's how
12th paragraph. One of his sons killed himself and the
other one died of cancer. How convenient. Cancer. What
else and crap and whatnot. It's a good thing someone didn't set off a bomb
at an Andy Kaufman show. I've already had half of my audience injured
or killed, how do they expect me to top that now?! I guess.
I think of Donald Trump in terms of that sort of Andy Kaufman narrative.
Every day or week he needs to come out with an even crazier way to top himself.
The point is Donald Trump is a performance artist? Possibly.
Performance Artist may not be the right way to describe it. Lots of
artists perform. You get the idea, though.
13th paragraph. Donald Trump seems like he could be a
Bond villain. He's already a real world villain. Seems like a
logical step to make. I had to take my morning pills at 8 PM. That's
no good. Not for my body and whatnot. It'll muck things up. Oh
well, live and learn. Is Aaron Judge legally part of the Supreme Court?
I guess. Jeez. Guess I should finish up Play tonight. That's
the way to go. I don't know. I'm pretty bored. Writing an
entry, sure. But desperately trying to figure out a complementary
activity. Met game ended, no current poker freeroll. What else to
14th paragraph. Forgot to put on clothes or my robe to
answer Chinese Food At The Door. Got caught up talking to my mom after I
ordered. Had to yell at them that I'll be right there as I ran to my room
to put on my robe. These are the days of my lives. I got a coffee
when I first got to Open Mic early. I feel like that's a Responsible that
people will respond to. Hey, he's getting a coffee before a beer.
That's what I call Adult. That's how I thought about it, myself, in
the third person. Triple Play. Anyway, what the what. Mets
hanging in there. It's too bad they're not playing Razz Baseball.
They'd be doing really good if that was the case.
Huh? Great. 15th paragraph. Did get a
reasonable, calorie wise, amount of McDonalds at Penn Station. One double
hamburget with nothing on it and 4 chicken McNuggets. That'll show 'em,
that'll show all of 'em. I've lost a little enthusiasm for dieting the
last week or so. I got to a good place, but I can't stop now. I've
been slowing down, though. Why. I wanna go into my next class as
thin as possible. Some of these names on the roster sure sound like pretty
girls. Anyway, what the what and whatness. I need to have something
to look forward to. Last semester, it was, at first, fantasizing about
month in England. Then, it was the more immediate looking forward to
Flaming Lips/New Pornographer concerts. Now, graduating after the Fall,
need to have some crap lined up to keep me going. Learning guitar and
singing, that'll keep me happily occupied.
And if I get a part time job lined up, after school ends,
possibly moving out of my parents house. Gotta have stuff to look forward
to. Without that, I'd have to accept the mediocrity that is my current
life. What else is crappening. I guess I could look forward to doing
open mic again next week. That's something. Could even start
arranging guitar/vocal lessons this week. Crap and stuff, sure. Even
participated as an audience member. Some guy was doin' some talking before
his song, saying something like, I was surprised how nice New Yorkers are, I
had always heard they're very rude. So I shout out Fuck You!
like a true and through audience member. And I wasn't even greeted by
uncomfortable silence! People liked it!
The point is I'm a real B- audience member. Good, good
stuff. I decided not to record my songs. Let's just live in the
moment, man. That's what counts. I feel pretty happy about that
decision, particularly in that I won't have to relive the song I fucked up
again. Crap and crap. 17th paragraph. Gotta do stuff for the
rest of the day. Who knows what. Japanese Punk guy was telling me he
likes punk, and also more country stuff. So I was like, You like Social
Distortion? and he was like Yeah they're my favorite! and I was
like, Looks like I'm great at music. True story.
Anyway, 18th paragraph. I did refrain from asking him
Are You The Ring? though. Also, I didn't ask, You ever witness a
crime or someone being killed and then three other people had contradicting
stories about what happened? Although, in retrospect, probably should
have asked. A couple of people even stopped to listen to me while
Guitarring it up on the street at 2:30 AM. Looks like I'm a Champ.
Livin' in the moment. Doin' wherever my guitar takes me. Anyway,
what the what. It's too bad I don't know how to play any of the last 200
songs I've done. Seems like some of them would be worthwhile to play.
Crap and crap. Learning guitar, then I'd learn how to
remember my songs, one would imagine. The open mic advertises itself as a
bastion of Anti-Folk music. I wanted to ask what Anti-Folk is when I got
on stage but I didn't want to be a condescending bastard. So I didn't.
It's whatever you want it to be. That sort of thing. 19th
paragraph. How'd that happen. By typing bullshit and stuff.
Who can forget all the goofballs we've pulled this entry. Double O Heaven.
Something else, one would imagine. Jeez. I don't know.
I also made a solemn vow to not muck around on my phone as much as I've been
doing. Actually watch whatever crap I'm watching on TV instead of just
having it on in the background while I'm on my phone.
We'll see how that goes and whatnot. Hah.
Getting Better. If there's one thing I'm known for, it's constant self
improvement. That, and constantly gardening. What else is crap.
If The Rock runs for president, he might get the swing vote of people who think
they're voting for Crack Cocaine. Also, The Rock isn't running for
president. I've gathered in this post-Trump era people don't know what a
joke is anymore. Sad. Anyway, what the what. 20th paragraph.
The good news is I get one good night of enjoying Chinese Food before three
nights of being tired of it. Let's make the most of it as we can.
21st paragraph. 25 overall? 30? A different
number? Who knows. I learned an important lesson at Open Mic.
Always Sit on Stools. Something we all learn sooner or later. I
also got a laugh the song I fucked up where people thought I was done and
started clapping and I went One More Chorus! People really seemed
to enjoy that goof-em-up. Anyway. I stayed the entire time.
That's why I had to wait an hour and a half for a train. Oh well, live and
learn. Live, at least. Not sure if I learned anything. The
Mets won today. That'll happen from time to time. Cool. Maybe
25 paragraphs. Seems like one way to go.
22nd paragraph. 22, 23, 24, 25. Four paragraphs.
I crunched the numbers-- you saw! Jeez. I don't know. What the
what. Hah. Fuck You! I'm a regular muck-em-up member of
the audience. People love some muck-em-ups from audience members.
That's been my experience. Playin guitar outside Penn Station, I didn't
sing for the first half, but then I built up the confidence to sing for the
second half. It was fun and whatnot. That's what being a musician is
all about. No goin' it halfway. Either you feel comfortable sitting
on a sidewalk at 3 AM playing some songs, or you don't. And I Sort
Alright! What else and crap. I did feel
like a chump checking with the authorities if its okay. You don't ask
The Man if your music is okay, sell out! But, on the other hand, I
didn't want to do anything illegal. I like most of laws. They keep
people like me safe. Most laws, I gotta say, pretty good. What else
is going on. Also, I'm sick of people trashing Penn Station. Penn
Station is great. It is legitimately one of my favorite places ever.
Penultimate paragraph. Do suicide bombers in England
detonate themselves on the left side of their vest? Oh, what a world we
live in. Crap and crap. I think it's pretty stupid when innocent
people die. That's my takeaway from this whole thing. What else is
going on. At least we already know that Manchester's United. That's
step one, and they already got a head start. Dumb. I don't
know. A paragraph and a half to go. Whatta watch on TV.
Thinkin' about re-starting The Sopranos. That's a decent way to go about
Last paragraph. Jeez. What the what. I
can't wait to watch some TV and muck around on my phone. The
Distraction Of Champions. What else. I got to Open Mic early so I
got a really great seat. It had a table and everything. And I could
see what was going on. That's worth talking about. Sure. What
else is crap. I'll see ya later.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Title? What The What!
Thank you, thank you. How is
everybody doing today. It's Thursday and crap, we got that going on.
Read my Chicken Religion play today. Actors were laughin' and whatnot
throughout it. Alright! Teacher even liked it. I approached
him at end of class, Does it disqualify a play if there's no real drama or
character motivation and is just absurd. Then he was like, Yeah,
it's absurd, but within the absurdity, there is drama and character motivation,
don't worry about it. So, I tricked him into praising me. Whatta
trickster. I started the day with 42 cents on poker. Up to a dollar
15. Double up twice more, and I can actually play poker and crap.
That sounds like fun.
Anyway, crap and crap. Probably gonna do a second,
complete draft of one of my craps for next week. Maybe even Chicken
Religion. What the what. Turnin' up the heat on Parental Units to
buy me my TV. Because I'm 28. I've earned it by being an adult.
Crap and crap. Have no preordained dinner for tonight. The
possibilities are endless. Well, maybe around 100 or 200. There is
some finite number, logically speaking. Crap and crap. Who needs
crazysheet. I do. That settles that. Watched The Ninth Gate
last night. I'm not 100% sure why Hollywood likes Roman Polanski.
I'm 95% sure that he's a terrible person. But there is 5% of wiggle room.
Eat shit, 1000 flies can't be wrong.
What the what. The point is it's the 3rd paragraph.
I'm getting kind of used to playing guitar backwards on my phone app.
Looks like I'm a Great. Thinkin' about bringing in Electric Guitar to get
fixed this weekend, once and for all. Until I have to get it fixed again
in a few years. Not really a for all in that case. I've
narrowed dinner down to one thing-- I don't want eggs. You can't argue
with a feeling. They're not cognizant and able to argue back with you.
I guess theoretically you can argue with something that can't respond. It
takes only one to argue. Theoretically and whatnot.
Fourth paragraph. One thing I've gathered about Donald
Trump is I'm not sure he grasps the concept that there might be consequences for
his actions. That's how I feel about the Issues. Anyway, what the
what. When Bernie Sanders starts making legitimate campaign appearences
for 2020, his enterance music should be Eminem's Without Me. "Guess
whose back, back again..." It's not the funniest goof-em-up but it is the
one that I just wrote. So it's got that going for it. Campaign
Speeches have entrance music, right? In reality? Sometimes, at
least. He could also use Weird Al's Pretty Fly For a Rabbi. I
could see that working to his benefit.
I don't know. I'm sure I could think of 400 songs
that'll approach being almost amusing in that set of circumstances.
Born To Run. That's the first random song I could think of and it has
a reference to running for office. You could figure out a connection with
almost any random song, I'm sure. That's how music works. When I was
younger, I liked making playlists in iTunes when I would listen to music and
imagine having the playlists in action with other people around. Gotta be
prepared with a great playlist in case I ever am with other people and the
situation demands a playlist. Also, I'm pot committed to using playlist as
Sixth paragraph. Playlisting is a good skill to have.
I'm out of practice now, though. I wouldn't know where to start making a
playlist. The only playlisting I've done in the last three years is
playlisting my own albums. And I'm pretty terrible at that, I realize when
forcing myself to listen to my whole albums in completion. Oh well, too
late to edit now. Pot committed to the whole thing and whatnot. What
else is going on. One positive thing about making my final play Chicken
Relgion, is it forces Regular Professor to read it. Otherwise, he misses
out on all this fun. Also, judging by reaction, this scene got the best
response. That's a legitimate reason for a goof-em-up. Positive
reactions to your goof-em-up.
Seventh paragraph. What the what. Everyone in my
class is mentally ill. We were talking about it before class. I
guess English Majors=Mentally Ill. Who knew. That's another Eminem
song that Bernie Sanders must consider. Anyway, crap and crap. I
don't know. Weekend time. But a relatively moderate amount of work.
Prepare for Lab Debate adequately that I'm not letting my group down. Some
Lecture Online Homework. Jeez. No Met game tonight, though. So
it's almost impossible that they'll lose. I crunched the numbers.
Probably not gonna pursue part time job. I got Senior Seminar in the Fall,
and I don't know how much work that's gonna be.
The good news is Eighth Paragraph. I got that going for
me. What else. Haven't drank in two weeks since New Pornographers.
But my mild gambling addiction has been present. So, win some, lose some.
Tie a lot. Never enter the competition a bunch of times. Familia
might be injured. Whatta chump. Only chumps get injured, right?
I've never been injured. That's how I feel. Only mentally and
emotionally. That's how I feel. Crap and crap, whattado.
Semester over in less than two weeks. Then it's time to get a new TV and
watched Cropped Versions of Tales From The Crypt. So I got my life planned
out for the next month or so.
Anyway, what the what. I've had infections and disease
and crap. That's physically injured I suppose. Up to almost two
dollars in poker. I don't believe it. That sounds crazy. My
first instinct for dinner is pizza. I'll eat the crap out of some
bread+cheese+some sort of sauce, possibly tomato based. Anyway, ninth
paragraph. Around the time I'll take my Ritalin soon. Knock some
taking pills responsibly out of the park. What else. I don't get why
more people don't fall down the stairs. People trip all the time.
That's all it takes. You happen to make one of your patented common trips
while on the stairs. So, gotta look out for that, people.
10th paragraph. Apparently Trump is gonna look into
Voter Fraud. I believe his opening song at the press conference he will
announce it will be Shaggy's It Wasn't Me. Anyway, what the what.
When I read the headline, I thought it would be, Ah, very clever, get the
Democrats on your side by highlighting the real issues of voter suppression and
whatnot. No, he's going the other way with it. Anyway, what the
what. I don't know. Now I'm almost at 2 and a half dollars, like a
chump. What else is going on. Just took Ritalin. Power Up!
It's like Mario eating a mushroom. Except without all the debilitating
The point is Mario has a very severe drug problem. I
don't know. Halfway with the entry possibly. I got that going for
me. What else is going on. I could get beef patties, too. Half
a slice of pizza and a beef patty today and tomorrow. That's one way to
go. Crap and crap. Hittin' a wall and whatnot. Let's Power Up
Through It. Crap and crap. I realized last night a religion founded
by a chicken is reminiscent of The Simpsons where I believe Lenny goes They
only call us a cow college because we were founded by a cow. Oh well,
live and learn. I never claimed to be some guy who comes up with original
things. Not explicitly, at least.
12th paragraph. That's how that goes. Let's see,
words, words. I don't know. Lost a dollar in poker. Great.
Time to put this behind me once and for all. Until I double up again, then
lose half my stack again, and double up again, potentially for the rest of time.
Crap and crap. I regularly throw my plastic soda or coffee container in
the trash at the end of Environment Lecture. That'll show 'em. No
one's gonna make me recycle. Jeez, crap and crap, so many paragraph
to go. I wanna say more than eight. That's alotta paragraph.
13th paragraph. Wow! I don't know. What's
going on in the wide world of sports. I guess the goal is to still have
money on poker until the end of this entry. Otherwise, I'd be forced to
write entry without distracting myself with supplemental distraction.
Which is the only way to go when writing entries, I gotta say. Anyway.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, because it's been another year or
whatever since I first said it-- I pass by children playing basketball while on
the bus hundreds and hundreds of times. Not once have I seen someone make
Aren't kids stupid. That's how I feel. You're
not good at something? Quit trying! You're never gonna learn how to
hide your weakness at things at this rate. What else. Hey, it's
the 14th paragraph. That's a number for sure. I remember in school,
I guess elementary through high school, if you verbally describe a decimal as
Three Point One Four, or whatever, to signify 3.14, they get pissed.
That's not math! they say. You don't say point. Well, here I am in
the real world for a decade, everybody says point. You don't go
into fractions, that's ridiculous. So, great, what else.
15th paragraph. Jeez. I got that going for me.
I don't know, what else. I think it's telling Roman Polanski keeps making
movies about the Devil, because if there is a Hell, odds are he's going there.
I don't know. There's different versions of the story. Maybe he is
getting a bad rap-- I wasn't there. But if it's true, fuck that guy.
And if it's not, damn sucks to be you. That's how I feel.
What else is going on. Hah. Bad rap. E. Makes me
laugh. That's pretty much my justification for every scene, about why I
wrote it, or why I like it, or why I want to continue with it. Makes Me
Laugh. Professors usually accept that as a valid reason.
Anyway, what the what. Over two weeks since I've done a
Social outside of class. For most people, that's a long time. For
me, I wish it was a long time, but it's to be expected at this point.
Still would be nice to do a social every two weeks. I'd be exponentially
more satisfied with my life and whatnot. Have a respute from the reality
that my parents are my best friends. Crap and crap, 16th paragraph.
Gettin' into it now, boy. Respite. Why did I think it was
respute. Seems odd to me. Crap and crap. I've been thinking
about Trump in Kingpin terms. Beyond the fact that he's Ernie McCracken to
some extent, I mean. In terms of, when people think Munson, they're
gonna think winner. Then it turns out to mean something negative.
What are people gonna think when they think Trump.
I don't know, I'm no future predicting person. It
has the added wrinkle of already being a real word with a definition. That
works into the equation somehow. Jeez. 17th paragraph. I got
that going for me. I'm down a dollar from my high point in poker today,
but I'm still 4x where I started. That's not too bad. Ain't poker
the greatest. I'm pretty sure if Trump was playing poker, he'd just
bet/raise every opportunity. Every time it's his action, bet or raise.
And he won't understand why he keeps losing money.
Issues. I don't know. Crap and crap.
It's the art of the deal, you wouldn't understand. Maybe he'd just be
a dealer, if he was involved in a poker game. Deal out the cards, curry
favor with people and possibly a percent of their chips by pretending he'd deal
them the good cards, then doesn't bother. That's the art of the deal.
Anyway, crap and crap. 18th paragraph. If I go over 20 paragraphs,
that increases the chance I will bust in poker before I finish the entry.
But it also means I can finish after whatever paragraph I'm up to. Unless
I feel OCDly drawn to finish after a multiple of 5 paragraphs.
The point is it's the 19th paragraph. Wow. I
don't believe it. Pizza + Beef Patty sounds mighty appetizing.
Surely the front runner at this point. Ahead of all other dinners.
But these things have a tendency to be a bit unpredictable. It's not
uncommon for a surprise dinner candidate to make a late push. The point is
Huh. What else. Yeesh. Entrying it up a lot this month.
I got that going for me. Is it possible the reason Trump fired Comey was
Hey, this guy is getting a lot of attention. He's taking attention away
from me! I'll show him... (deeper inner thought:) sure, doing this will
give him more attention. But it'll give me even more more attention!
Probably not. Probably because he colluded with Russia to influence the
It's not completely unprecedented in terribleness, though.
George HW Bush made a deal with Iran to not release the hostages until after the
1980 election. That's pretty bad, and no one gives a fig. I read
about it in a book. Anyway, what the what. I don't know. Crap
and crap. Down to one dollar point 44 in poker. Almost done with the
entry potentially. Jeez. Lotta night left to go. Pizza + Beef
Patty is very enticing, so I am looking forward to Remainder of Today. On
the other hand, what else. I don't know. I feel like I'm doing an
Adult when smoking a camel instead of a newport. Being economical with my
cigarette smoking habits. That sort of crap.
What else. 21st paragraph. Why don't I just
stop getting camels. I like them at around a 10:1 ratio with newports.
That's why you idiot. Jeez. Crap and crap. One way I can tell
I'm losing weight is that walking to and from bus is pretty easy. For a
while I really didn't like it. Now, it's no problem. So I got that
going for me. Also, my legs below the knees are very thin. I've
talked about that. Jeez, crap and crap. I don't get how Republicans
can rationalize impeding a special prosector or independent investigation.
Eh, it's a waste of time! Why bother. I think it was McConnell,
one of them, it would impede our investigation. Does that
make sense at all? I'm really asking. Because I'm pretty sure it's
22nd paragraph. What the what. I don't know.
All things considered, I might go for 25 paragraphs. Sure I know how to
use the phrase "All Things Considered." It's when you consider all things,
and take it from there. Wow. I guess. What the what.
Down to just over a dollar in poker. I can see myself finishing 25
paragraphs even with no poker playing. I can also see myself when I look
at mirrors, most of the time, depending on the angle. Crap and crap.
I'm more ashamed of that goof-em-up than almost anything I've ever said in my
life. I can also see myself when I look at mirrors. That's a
joke to commit suicide to.
23rd paragraph. Wow. Under a dollar in poker.
The pressure's on. I guess. Three paragraphs to go, either way.
What the what. I don't know. Jeez. Thursday, huh. I got
tonight. I got tomorrow. I got the day after. Day after that.
A bunch more days. Then it's all over. Crap and crap, let's get into
some goof-em-ups. This substitute happens to be the teacher of the class
where I had written my last play before this class started. Cart
People. About two people in food carts right next to each other who hate
each other. That gem of a goof-em-up. He also was exposed to the
story about a guy who decides to become homeless and makes homeless friends
along the way.
So, great. What else to write about in these 2
paragraphs. Probably bullshit and crap. I sure hope I don't decide
to keep going after the 25th paragraph. That's no good for anyone.
Anyway, crap and crap. Guy in my class was on the bus with me going
to class. I just woke up! This is my time. Whatta jip.
If I'm at under 40 cents, but still have some cents, I can't leave the table.
Minimum buy in is 40 cents, and it would pretty much just go to waste if I leave
the table. So that's something to consider if you're me. Which I am.
That's what I've been led to believe.
25th paragraph. I would have to get a different pizza
place than usual that has the beef patties. That's doable. Not too
difficult to switch-em-up like that. Oh. There are 11 cent torneys
every night. So I could do that. I'm really struggling with how to
spell tournies as if its a real word. Oh well, live and learn. I
think when making palindromes, you should be able to use "C's," and, "K's" and
other letters that are different but sound the same as the same letter. I
feel very strongly about this.
26th paragraph. Oh, crap. I wasn't supposed to do
that. Anyway, what else is crap. I'll stop after whatever paragraph
I want. Don't need to be a multiple of 5 necessarily. But that does
tend to be when I want. The point is what else and crap. I don't
know. Jeez. There's Blink 182 and Linkin Park concert(s) in New York
city some time over the next couple months. I like about 55% of that.
I like about 80% of Blink 182, with the new singer from Alkaline Trio. I
like the singer from Alkaline Trio, but not for Blink 182. I like about
30% of Linkin Park, for nostalgia reasons from when I was into that crap as a
youngster. I'm not here to crunch the numbers and everything, but I feel
it adds up to not going.
27th paragraph. Hey, I can go to the Monday Night Music
Open Mic in the city a few times. That's fun. I'd be forced to come
to terms with the mediocre nature of my songs, though. That's a jip.
Anyway, theoretically three and a half paragraphs to go. We'll see and
whatnot. Jeez. Crap and crap. I mean, I'm pretty sure it's
accepted fact by all sides that Roman Polanski had sex with a 13 year old.
Whether she gave consent or not really doesn't help his case either way.
That's how I feel. I'm not here to judge. Jury, maybe. I'll be
on a jury, as long as there's 11 other jury members. I can't do it alone.
28th paragraph. Being on a jury sounds kind of fun.
You're with 12 other people who have to be friends with you. 11 jurors,
and the security guard type officer who keeps you safe. That guy is
probably a load of fun. Anyway, what the what. There's a decent 50
dollar freeroll at 7:00. I can just see if I could double up a few times
without committing myself to sticking around at my computer a whole lot of time.
First prize gets almost 15 dollars. Talk about high rollers. It's an
interesting subject. Jeez, what else and crap. Man, remember the
days an hour or two ago when I had almost 3 dollars.
Those were the times. Crap and crap, two paragraphs to
go. Let's do it hardcore. I might even still have 70 or 80 cents
when the entry ends. Cool. What the what. There's another 50
dollar freeroll at 8. Whatta jip. I'm gonna have to see if I could
quadruple up twice. Anyway, what the what. Actually, the second one
is only 25 dollars. Who needs it. Not me. Crap and crap, close
to ending the entry. Awesome. Well, just lost my roll with KK vs 33.
Such is life. Crap and crap, gotta end entry without Poker Distraction.
But only one more paragraph to go. That's great, just great.
Last paragraph! Wonderful. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure I covered everything in the first 29 paragraphs. What
else. Jeez. Gotta close it out somehow. Words and whatnot.
Jeez. So close, yet so far. Possibly inbetween. Or within the
realm of even more extremely close or even more extremely far. I don't
know, whatever. Come back to Poker Freeroll in 45 minutes after I'm done
with this entry. Which is now! See ya later.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
I'm Gonna Write Some Crap
That's cool. Whatnot.
What's going on in the wide world of sports. Wrote another scene for Play
Class tomorrow. It's a real stinker. Just silly stupidity. And
I know this substitute is gonna ask real questions about it, like whats the
drama and the motivation of the characters and what its about. It's just
stupidity! Get off my case! Anyway, what the what. I thought
about introducing my scene with that, but I'm scared he'll just go Then Don't
Waste My Time. Next. So I'll just wait till after the scene is
preformed to apologize for it. Anyway. Just lost an entire 5 dollar
buy in on the second hand at the table. Not much I could do, though.
Lost a coinflip.
Anyway, what the what. I think Trump thinks he can fire
his way out of these messes he is in. He remembers a time where everyone
was excited when he would fire somebody, and celebrated it joyously, he thinks
that'll carry over into his presidency. That, and he wants people to get
off his case. We can all understand that. It's never fun having
people on your case. Especially if we colluded with Russia to steal an
election. You don't want people on that sort of case. Trump's thought
process is, How many people do I need to fire until people like me?
Two? Three? More than three? He must be banking on more
than three at this point.
Jeez. Crap and crap. Democrats calling for a
special prosecutor to look into Russia Ties within Trump Team. Now, I'm
all for an independent investigation. But why does the guy in charge have
to be retarded? It seems that would impede his ability to fulfill his
duties adequately. Not trying to be insensitive or anything, but that's
how I feel. I can't wait to type up my scene. It's like I'll be able
to live the fun all over again. The Mets are two outs away from being
above 500. That's amazing. That's a percent that signifies they won
every game, times more than 500. Pretty insane when you think about
Not sure why that was necessary. The game's not over
yet. They might end up under 500. Which is still very good.
What the what. My first idea for a scene was about Donald Trump having a
dog which gives him orders that he obeys like a son-of-sam scenario. Too
similar to SNL sketches where he obeys Steve Bannon, etc. So I had to
scrap that. Also, couldn't think of any jokes beyond having Donald Trump
go Yes Master to the silence of a talking dog over and over. So I
got that going for me. The guy at bat for the Giants right now is
named Nunez. Business. He must have a lot of fun with that. I
know I would.
Anyway, fourth paragraph. Just kidding, it's the fifth
paragraph. I had you going there for a minute, though. Crap and
crap. Two men on base for the opposing team. That's no good.
Just sucked out with JJ vs QQ. That's good. Well, Mets just blew the
game. They still have a chance, though-- per the rules of baseball, they
get to bat again. Anyway, what the what. I assume as the result of
this blown save we will suspend Matt Harvey. Let's make him the scapegoat
every time something bad happens. Game gets rained out? Suspend Matt
Harvey. Someone gets injured? Suspend Matt Harvey. Color
Commentators can't get the trivia question of the day right? Suspend Matt
So, sure, why not. Famous Familia can't throw strikes
anymore. Whatta jip. So now it's the sixth paragraph in terms of the
real amount of how many paragraphs there are. Final Lab is ad debate.
I'm on the Con side. I forget what the debate's about. GMOs.
That sort of crap. Familia's mucking it up. Let's get Matt Harvey in
there. I'm not sure Familia understands the concept of strikes and balls.
I keep throwing the ball to the catcher, why are people getting on base?!
Well, Giants just took a big lead. There goes that. My theory is
Familia blew the save on purpose so he has a chance to record the win.
That no good selfish bastard.
Seventh paragraph. Mets blowing the game.
That's what you get for playing baseball. Hmm, what else.
Baseball is like politics, though, it's not a spectator sport. So let's
show up at the stadium with some bats. Really get involved with the whole
thing. Bats. Matt Harvey. Dark Knight. I'll keep you
updated on this situation as it develops. Yeesh. Familia-- "Wait,
we're supposed to stop the other team from scoring runs?"
Anyway, crap and crap. The Mets can score three runs in an inning.
I've seen them do it before. Jeez. When you're my height, every
opposing team is the Giants. And, believe me, in my personal life, I've
got a lot of opposing teams.
Jeez. Eighth paragraph. Granderson will be in
line to hit a game ending grand slam in the bottom of the inning. That's
what I'd put my money on. Familia can't get the win though because they
took him out of the game. Serves him right, that two-timing bastard.
Well, the umpires just cheated to strike Bruce out. So Granderson will
have to settle for a three run homerun to tie it. Oh well, better than
nothing. Two on for Granderson. Will I prove prophetic?
Probably. This paragraph is the pits. I can't wait till the ninth.
I learned something new today. Mountain Dew has orange juice in it.
So I got that going for me and whatnot. Let's see, what
else. Granderson flew out. There goes that. Flores almost
homered. Only hit a two run double like a chump. Now the Mets still
need another hit, like chumps. Anyway, crap and crap. We've got the
big bat Kevin Plawecki at the plate. He's the catcher. Catchers are
powerful. Anyway, what the what. The Mets lost. But I had it
on mute, so it doesn't count. Anyway, what the what. Time to get
back into entry-mode. Ninth paragraph. Just took my second ritalin.
Well, Wednesdays, I take three. It's the third. One before lecture
at 10:30. One before lab at 1:30. One whenever I damn well feel like
it, when I get home.
10th paragraph. Gettin' a hamburger for dinner!
I'll eat the crap out of that, no questions asked. What else. On the
bus ride home, a kid left his toy or stuffed animal or something on the bus, but
I didn't react quickly enough to alert him or his parent. I had a chance
to be a Hero and I was too slow. Now I know how Familia felt when he blew
the baseball game he was playing in. Jeez. I don't know. No
more homework until weekend, preparing for Debate Lab. Jeez. This
entry has been the pits, as an exerpeince. Writing it and whatnot.
11th paragraph. What the what. Not much to do
with the rest of my day. Beyond finishing this entry, typing up my
crapscene, eating a hamburger. Then what. I don't know. I can
call it quits any paragraph I want. Or, I could devote my energy towards
writing good paragraphs. I'ma try to do that. Let's see, words,
words. The play also had Jared Kushner repeatedly calling Donald Trump
Pa-Pa. Commentary. I don't know, what the what. Why is
this so hard. Maybe I should type up my scene. That'll get me in
goofball mode. Alright typed it up. Pretty much as crappy as I
remember. There are a few good beats, but overall, whatta snooze, in
addition to being idiotic.
12th paragraph, though, that's pretty great. Ugh.
I just re-read it and it still amuses me to some extent. I guess I have to
share this crap with the class. This scene is what the entire class has
built up to. Who am I to argue with progress. Anyway, what the what.
Still the 12th paragraph. Down another dollar and a half in poker.
Not time to get into panic mode about my roll yet. Probably never time to
get into panic mode about my roll. There are bigger things going on in the
world, panicing about losing 25 dollars seems pretty trivial.
13th paragraph. Apparently Comey found out about being
fired on TV in the background when he was giving a speech. This guy ran
the FBI. How'd he not know what see it coming ahead of time? Issues.
What else. I can't wait to watch a cropped version of Tales From The
Crypt. I'm due to get my TV at some point. I tried to trick my Mom
into getting it by, when I got home yesterday, I went I got good news!
And she goes what. And I go You're gonna get me my TV today!
These are the days of my lives.
It's a regular soap opera here at the Kornblum Residence.
So many subplots and forced dialogue and crazy plot twists. Less
commercials than you'd think, though. So, great, it's the 14th paragraph.
Whatta snoozer. I think it's telling I haven't even mentioned what my
scene is about. On account of the crappiness. It's about a guy
whose... I don't know. Alright, here we go. The guy in the play...
Shit. Okay. I can get this out. The guy is in a religion founded by
a chicken. There, I said it. I'll understand if you close
this website window immediately and add me to your enemies list.
15th paragraph. Is chicken the funniest animal?
No. Are chickens generally sort of cliché? Yes. But it started
off with two characters eating chicken, before I had any plot. I can't
mess with that gold. Keep the animal at chicken. I also get to
mention Kennedy Fried Chicken, which is a reference I'm particularly fond
of. Makes me laugh. I don't know. Hamburger will arrive in
between half an hour and an hour plus a half an hour, commonly known as an hour
and a half. This is gold, I should write a scene about talking about
hours. Some film already did that. The Hours. I believe it
was two hours of watching a clock slowly progress.
Watched most of Man On Fire yesterday. I was pretty
sure it was gonna be two hours of a man on fire slowly melting. I was
pretty wrong. Either that, or an adaptation of the Terrence and Philip
movie-within-a-movie of the South Park Movie, Asses of Fire. Turned
out to be unrelated to either of those two concepts. Pretty sure Asses of
Fire is a reference to something I wanna say is called Chariots of Fire.
Sounds like something that happened. Anyway, crap and crap, deep into the
16th paragraph. 20 within reach. All is well. Boy do I feel
the urge to move up in stakes in poker. Eh. Not really. It's
I can't wait to see if there are any attractive girls in my
June Class. Sure, I'll gawk at some girls. It's more or less the
most fulfilling social activity I do these days. Anyway, crap and crap.
What if that stuffed animal was treasured by that kid. It's possible, if
he's carrying it with him on the bus. He's gonna go crazy without it.
And I could have saved the day. Well, no one's a Hero 100% of the time.
I think that was the theme to the Batman movie about nights. Anyway, crap
and crap. 17th paragraph. Sweet. I don't know. What the
what. This'll be my last scene for this class probably. I might be
able to sneak one in next week, so the class ends for me on a more positive note
than Chicken Religion. It does rhyme, though. Maybe I can work
that into the scene.
Slant rhyme, at least. Anyway, what the what.
I got all sorts of Fiber One products from Supermarket. I've got all my
bases covered. Jeez, I don't know. 18th paragraph. Three to
go. Want to eat food when it gets here. I'll probably be done
sometime between 6 and 6:20. Consult previous discussion to figure out
math-wise how that equation works with when the food will get here. Jeez.
Crap and crap. Also have some online homework for Environment due by next
week, in adition to debate lab. What else and crap. I plan on not
checking my weight until the beginning of June. All I can say is, I better
be into the 140's, or else there'll be Hell to pay. Hell to pay, I say!
19th rhyme... 19th paragraph. Well, now we all
know where my head is at. Always about the rhymes, isn't it. Great.
I don't have to waste time tonight watching the Met game. They already
lost. Now I can watch Man On Fire again, see the Easter Eggs I missed the
first time around. Watched Halloween III: Season Of The Witch a few nights
ago. Now I can't stop singing to myself, Six more days to Halloween,
Halloween, Halloween, Six more days to Halloween, Silver Shamrock. The
Silver Shamrock is the best part of the rhyme. Those last four syllables,
key to the whole thing. And "Silver Shamrock?" Knocked it out of the
20th paragraph. I may keep writing until food gets
here. Certainly one way to go about things. Anyway. I liked
how Terry Collins reacted to Matt Harvey apologizing. He was like,
Don't Tell Me-- Show Me. Which is more or less verbatim how my Dad
responds to me apologizing about something, trivial or not. So, Terry Collins is
my new Dad, is the point. He's a Players' Manager. As opposed to
those managers who are sadistic towards their players. Anyway, what the
what. I probably have to coordinate Debate Preparation with my group to
some extent over Internet. So that's pretty great.
21st paragraph. Wow. I never imagined so many
paragraphs. What else. The bad part about writing until food gets
here, is I have to sit up for at least half an hour after food gets here, so I
go straight back to Computer. Whatever. At least I'm gonna force two
people to read some bullshit tomorrow. It's a practical joke. What
else. Lost more money in poker. I was trying to play tricky and I
got out tricked. That's what you get, I suppose. Just made a 40%
suck out/coin flip. Now whose the trickster. I don't know.
What the what. Hah. Silver Shamrock. I don't get it.
Unless it's a reference to future WWF wrestler Ken Shamrock. Which it may
very well be.
22nd paragraph. I don't know. What's the point.
The scene just started with some people eating chicken. Of course it turns
into the guy is in a religion for chickens. That's obviously the route to
go. Anyway. I could play that angle up some more. It's not
just a religion founded by a chicken for people. It's mainly a religion
for people. But playing up that angle more would require me to edit
and do a second draft. That goes against all my hustling ethics.
Jeez. Crap and crap. I pretty much feel about Fiber the same way the
people in Idiocracy felt about electrolytes. Idiocracy is a word? That
doesn't sound right. Maybe I added it to the Microsoft FrontPage
Dictionary at some point.
Or, most likely, it's a word. Well, we all learned
something today. Familia is a selfish son of a bitch after only one thing
in this world-- wins. And hitting his wife, a second thing. Anyway,
what the what. Jeez. Is changing the WWF to the WWE retroactive?
Was I watching the WWE the whole time and just didn't know it? These are
the days of my lives. Sometimes I watch WWE for five minutes to see if
they ever took my idea and have a heel wrestler whose always talking on the
phone. So far, nope. Anyway, what the what. Jeez.
24th paragraph. That's pretty cool. I was playing
the guitar app on my phone and my Dad was like Yo Son it's past 11 no guitar
alright G? and I was like Pops it's on my smart phone chill.
That happened I guess. Apparently renewable energy is the shizznit.
I learnt about it in school. Do I drink Snapple with my hamburger, or
Orange Soda or Pepsi. Only limited amount of soft drinks alloted for the
week. But if not with dinner, when? That's key, a soft drink with
dinner. Really rounds everything out nicely. I need to get me a
Silver Shamrock mask. Hallowen is in only five and a half months.
25th paragraph. Three more Play Classes. Two more
Environment Lectures. One more Environment Lab. One Environment
Final. Then, I get a few weeks off to imagine all the foxy ladies that'll
be in my next class. Remember when I was gonna write a musical. That
was a thing for a week or two. Those were the days. Some of them.
There were also days before them, after them, and ones still to be had.
Issues. Russian ambassador or something joking to the press about Comey
being fired. That's not in bad taste at all. Jeez. I don't
26th paragraph. I could be here another 45 minutes.
I didn't plan this out 100%. If I am, though, so what. All the more
paragraphs to be written. Mom was feelin' sorry for Comey. I'm not.
He deserved to be fired for legitimate reasons. Under these sets of
circumstances, though, yes, it's extremely terrible. But in the abstract,
just in terms of him losing his job, whatever. The point is what else and
crap. I followed the news twice in two days, like a chump. Watching
Sally Yates. Updating the Live Reactions page of the NYTimes last night a
bunch while watching TV. I gotta get off the news teat. Focus on
what's important. Chicken Religions.
27th paragraph. I believe I got a text from my phone
for some reason about Comey being fired. I haven't gotten a news text from
my phone ever. Trump won the election. Nothing. Bill
Paxton died. Nothing. Guess this is pretty big, huh. Silver
Shamrock must have paid a ton for all that ad time. What else is
pertinent. Man, would lying down after I eat really hit the spot. Oh
well, this is the life we chose. It's possible my Mom ordered something
with fries, and I can have four of them. Don't tell anyone. They'll
be none the wiser. Crap and crap, what else is crap.
28th paragraph. This is too long! Where do I get
off. Maybe around the 30th paragraph. What. I've been
sitting here for over 2 hours? What? That doesn't sound right.
But it would explain why my back hurts from slouching for so long. Explain
it hardcore. Crap and crap. Hah. Silver Shamrock. I get it.
No I don't. I already admitted as much. What the what. I'm
gonna have to print out this play like a chump. Two copies! I don't
believe it. Whatta jip and so on and so forth. Hey, I ended up doing
my lab last night. Looks like someone's an Adult this week. Alright!
29th paragraph. Maybe set an artificial limit after 30.
Seems like one way to go. Then I can potentially lie in bed for upwards of
five minutes. I earned it and whatnot. I'm tired. I worked
upwards of six hours this week. Clockin' in and out like a champ.
Like that movie The Hours. Jeez. What the whatness. I spent
some minutes watching the Met game. That accounts for some of that time
I've been sitting here. So I got that going for me and whatcrap.
Last paragraph! Sweet. Almost done. Just
lost 5 dollars on a coin flip like a chump. Great, just great.
That's what you get for playing poker-- you lose half the time. I crunched
the numbers and everything. What the what. How to close this entry
out. Let's see, words, words. I guess combine words into sentences
for a certain amount of space and that'll figure itself out. I don't know.
I'm done. See ya later.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Back To The Entry
Hello friends. Let's write an
entry for some reason. The Royal, "Let's." Matt Harvey suspension
suspended. Back in action. He's the hero we need, not the hero we
deserve. Or something along those lines. I learned about it in a
film. Crap and crap! If someone hits particularly well against Matt
Harvey, does that mean he's The Scarecrow? These are the real issues of
our time. Should do my lab for tomorrow. I can get away with not
doing it. But I'll probably do it anyway, like a chump. Oh, I
deposited 25 dollars on poker. Like a chump. Most things I do these
days are chump-like. They are the actions of a Chump. My
characteristics are particularly Chumpish.
So I got that going for me. New teacher in Play Class
today. That's great, just great. Gonna write a new scene for
Thursday. That'll keep everyone giving me attention. What else is
crap. Got an 86 on my last Environment test. Alright! There's
not gonna be a sixth non-final test. Alright! The final is all
multiple choice. Alright! The environment is in bad shape.
Alri--, wait no. That's no good! Crap and crap. Someone
basically just gave me four dollars in poker. WHose the chump now?!
Some other guy whose not me. Probably multiple people. In six or
seven billion people in the world, you gotta have at least 1 or 2 billion that
are chumps, right? It's all relative. Someone whose a chump in Siam
isn't a chump in America necessarily.
That sort of crap. Sure I'll pretend Siam still exists.
It might, you don't know. Neil Walker hit a walk off hit. That's
like Curtis Granderson hitting a grand slam. Or Jose Reyes being a ray of
sunshine in all our lives. Re-up from the supermarket tomorrow. I'm
gonna get all sorts of Fiber One products. The 90 calorie chocolate and
oats bar. The 90 calorie cinnamon cake square. The 90 calorie brownie.
All sort of crap that means I don't have to eat fruit like a chump anymore.
I get my fiber from bars from now on, thank you very much.
Anyway, fourth paragraph. If Marty Mcfly was a baseball
player, would he be a leadoff hitter. Or someone who hits a lot of fly
balls. Or something that isn't hinted at by his name. Probably the
third, I've crunched the numbers and everything, and that'd be most likely.
If he is a lead off hitter, he steals a base, then someone goes, Jackie
Robinson? This is your cousin, Marvin. You know that new thing you
want to do when you're on base? Listen To This! That sort of
crap. Back To The Future should just be Marty Mcfly going through life and
it turns out he's responsible for everything that's ever happened ever.
Probably. Fifth paragraph. I don't know, crap and
crap. Only one and a half more Week of class. Not counting the one 2
hour final I have the following week. And all the weeks that already
occurred. Why would you count those? Exactly. Crap and
crap. It all depends on how long I'd project the lab to take. Half
an hour or less? Sure, I'll do it. An hour and a half or more?
No way. In-between? TBD. Which means To Be Determined. I
came up with that, me, just now. Let's get it trending on social media.
The Revolution Will Not Be Social Media-ized. I came up with that,
me, just now.
Sixth paragraph. How about that. Since Internet
existed, I always knew there was a guy named Michael Kornblum who ran some sort
of gambling boat off of New York City. I recently found out there was an
article in the Night Times from the late 90's where Donald Trump interacted with
him in some way. Probably as an antagonist. So I got that going for
me. I'm also under the impression Michael Kornblum is in jail, or was
sued, or something bad like that. So I got that going for me, too.
Sweet! I have a great idea for a non-profit activist type organization.
It's called Immediate Action Network. And each year they decide something
that needs immediate action and just devote everything they've got to that one
Pretty great, huh? I thought of that, me, just a while
ago. Seventh paragraph. They can have the same thing carry into
multiple years, if that's how they decide. Maybe it should be a vote, an
American Idol type thing over the internet. But then they'll have to focus
on David Hasselhoff eating a hamburger for an entire year, so I don't know about
that part. We'll get the kinks worked out eventually. Topical
References. What else is crap. Alright, first year, what do
we do. Oh. Get Michael Kornblum out of prison! It's a slam
dunk. Crap and crap, what else is crap. Apparently people want Theo
Epstein to run for president. His cabinet would have the best on base
percentage in the league!
Pretty obvious goofball on that. What else.
Did Trump ever actually say to Sally Yates, You're Fired. You know
he wanted to, right. I don't know if it actually happened for sure,
though. Pretty obvious goofball on that. Only two or three months
too late. That's not too bad. Crap and crap, eighth paragraph.
Part IV of stuffed filet of sole dinner tonight. Man am I tired of stuffed
filet of sole in theory. In practice, I can stand it. But I'd still
prefer something else. Issues! Crap and crap. Gonna take my
second Ritalin of that day soon. If someone in a wheelchair has a chance
encounter with someone they know, do they say You'll never believed who I
Issues. I ran into someone from a previous class
whose in a wheelchair. That's where that comes from. Ninth
paragraph. Gonna re-up on my Ritalin right about... now. When I'm
done saying now. I can't pull off typing, "Now," and taking a pill
concurrently. I'm no contortionist. Environment Teacher is really
overweight. I consider it a point of pride that I'm Better At Environment
than him. On account of consumption habits. Looks like I'm a Hero.
Jeez. What else and crap. The idea of not doing the lab is
tantalizing. I'll check out the assignment, though. It could be
pretty easy and not very time consuming.
Great. What else and crap. Tenth paragraph.
I saw a show a few days ago about someone who had an extra set of legs.
And he was gonna get rid of them! Don't be a chump! What if you lose
your regular legs and you need a back-up pair. Legs don't just grow on
trees! Branches do! I crunched the numbers! What else.
When Matt Harvey is out partying late at night past curfew, does he say his name
is Bruce Wayne? Seems like he'd have to, right? That's how I feel.
I think he's taking this Dark Knight thing too seriously. Oh, Bruce
Wayne needs to act like a playboy so as not to arouse suspicion. Guess
that's my responsibility now.
Well, I just gave him a great alibi. That's
Immediate Action Network's 2017 mission statement. Get Matt Harvey Back
On Track. Let's see, what else is crap. 11th paragraph.
That's pretty great. Jay Bruce's entrance music is a pump-up rap song.
Way he plays-wise, great. He's a good baseball hitter so he's cool that
way and intimidating. But a white guy in his mid 30's named Jay?
From that perspective, rap seems kind of funny. Commentary.
What else is commentary. Jay Bruce might be 29. I don't know.
I haven't crunched the numbers on this. Leave it to Immediate Action
Network. Sounds like a TV Channel. No, it sounds like an
Action Network! Sure Network can be used that way! But, if not, the
following words can be replacements-- Organization... that's all I got.
Network is the best.
Group. There's a word. What else is crap.
12th paragraph. That's cool stuff. Why you gotta describe rap
songs as intimidating? You intimidated by things that are peripherally
black? No, it's the lyrics. They intimidate me. That's how
I feel, it's the lyrics' fault. Oh, but the Beastie Boys' "Sure Shot"
is ok. Yes! Now you're getting it! It's a goofball song.
Anyway, crap and crap. I'm not intimidated by the Baha Men. Even
with dogs being let out-- a very scary premise. I don't know what's
happening. Let's move on.
13th paragraph. I'm not intimidated by Shaggy's It
Wasn't Me. Even with the very topical and disturbing motif of illegal
surveillance. So basically a black rapper has to come from another
country for it to be okay. Why am I arguing with myself. Where
do I get off. Pretty sure Substitute Play Teacher recognized me. He
asks follow up questions, though, to your scenes or even if you just make a
comment. I'm not prepared for follow up questions. How dare he.
Crap and crap. I find him intimidating. And he's white. So,
that settles that. Crap and crap. Follow up questions, in general,
14th paragraph. Read the part of Michael in
another person's scene. It's the role I was born to play!
Crap and crap. I'll probably do the lab like a chump. Great, just
great. Now I have to do something. I'll feel better I after I finish
it. Like I did a real Adult. What else. Met game at 7:10.
That's great. I have no qualms with games being played at 7:10.
That's how I feel. If you live on the west coast, you have to contend with
some games being at 10:00 AM. What chumps, am I right? Movin' out to
California to mine gold. Or live out their fantasies of Oregon Trail.
I don't know. What else. I can delay doing lab
till later at night. That's fun. I get to do nothin' for several
hours. That's great. Doing Nothing is definitely in my top 10 of
things to do. Six paragraphs to go. That's great, just great.
Jeez. I gotta do six more paragraphs. Well, when you put it that
way, it sounds terrible. I don't know. No sides left with
Stuffed Filet of sole. In terms of french fries, which I only got cause I
knew I was stretching the dinner into 3 or 4 meals. Still got soup,
though. Soup's a good side. Matzoh Ball soup. Why can't I just
buy matzoh balls. They're great. I don't need the soup. I'll
eat that crap with a fork.
Anyway, what the what. Teacher gave us an assignment to
think of something happening in a play that was impossible to actually do.
Came up with three. 1) Universe before big bang-- can't even fathom how to
portray that. 2) A play within a play within a play within a play within a
play... would be too confusing to know where we're at. 3) The stage
is on fire. Just a huge sprawling fire. And the actors are on fire.
You can't do that. But it would be a once in a lifetime chance for an
audience member to yell Fire! and not get in trouble. So it's got
that going for it and whatnot.
17th paragraph. Sweet. Up five dollars in poker
today. Let's see how long that lasts. Usin' the royal Let's
again. Try to keep up. Do you know what song's really
intimidating? Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World.
Scary, scary stuff. I don't know. Crap and crap. Run DMC
terrifys me. Moving on. I'm sick of classmates being worried about
not knowing what they're gonna do in their life. They've got 5-10 years on
me! I still don't know! They can do fuck all for 5-10 years and lose
absolutely nothing! That's the route I took. And, gotta say, it paid
off splendidly. Why be a chump and be a Productive and an Adult in your
20's. Doesn't make sense.
Three paragraphs to go. I watched some of the Sally
Yates testimony yesterday and when Ted Cruz popped up, I was like, This
asshole's still around? I gotta listen to him some more? Oh
well, that's what you get for watching CSPAN. They have the market
cornered on assholes. Commentary. I watched the live feed on
MSNBC. I just said CSPAN because I thought it'd make me look cool.
Anyway, crap and crap. Two paragraphs to go ideally. In theory,
might stick around for more paragraphs afterwards. Like a chump! I
don't know. Wait, this is still the 18th paragraph. For some
reason I thought I made it to the 19th paragraph like I will when this sentence
is over and done with.
Yeesh. What the what. I did some research and
there might be like one calorie in a serving of diet soda. That's no good.
The way I drink it, that adds up to about a pound a year. A pound is a
pound. That's how I feel. I don't know. I'm gonna smoke an
Indian Cigarette. They use all of the cigarette. Even
the filter? Even the filter. Wow! I'm impressed.
Or, I'm I'm pressed. Depends on your perspective and things. Jeez.
Writin' the entry. That's cool. I'm down to only being up 3 dollars
in poker! What! I thought this time around, with this deposit, it
would be smooth sailing. Even started telling myself, Okay, make the
goal, each month I double up. But I didn't take into account the
thought that I might lose pots like a chump!
Anyway, here we go with another paragraph. 20th, is how
I feel. Can't argue with counting. I'm a champ at counting. I
practice a lot. I've developed some OCD in my later years, and I sometimes
start counting numbers in my head, or doing the alphabet, to kill time.
Fun, fun stuff. What else is crap. Gotta come up with a new scene
for Thursday. Last few times, I've just started writing dialogue, and have
that turn into some mediocre piece of shoe. So I could try that again.
I may skip lab. Who knows. Not me. I guess I'll do one more
paragraph after this one.
Hello! This is it. Anyway. Lost most of the
money I had won in poker. The good news is who cares. This is the
last paragraph, I got bigger fish to fry. Which doesn't sound Kosher, but
may be in optimum circumstances. Crap and crap. Fish is Pavre.
Most fish. Anyway, what the what. Jeez. Almost done with this
entry. Good, good stuff. I need a new bar of soap. Not in the
abstract. I have bars of soap that are unused. But I need to use one
of them. That's what I mean. Anyway, crap and crap. When I
shampoo myself, I shampoo my sorry excuse for facial hair as well. Just to
be safe. Can't hurt, I figure. I'll see ya later.
Sunday, May 7, 2017
This May Or May Not Be A Title
I'm leaning towards may be.
Unless I end up with no entry. Then the title ceases to exist. You
wouldn't know about this whole situation, though. So the point is What
Else and Crap. I found out who Chris Pine was yesterday. From now
on, I know. Chris Pine=Star Trek. And possibly Unstoppable. I
realized that was the movie I may or may not have seen Chris Pine in. The
point is what else and crap! The Mets lost today. But I was sleeping
for most of it, so it doesn't really count. That's how baseball standings
work. Got new cigarettes today! Just in time. I had to smoke
but one and a half of Indian Cigarettes last night. Not so bad.
They're cherry flavored! It's about time.
Huh? What? Great. I keep figuring out I
have several dollars available to me through bonus points on Poker. Pretty
sure this last time was the last time I find that, though. Time to play
smart. Soon. Just as soon as I'm done playing stupid.
Crap and crap. The Mets suspended Matt Harvey for three days. My
guess is because he sexually assaulted someone. Prove me wrong!
The centrist won in France. It's a victory for centrists everywhere.
Mostly France. That's where it has the most impact, after all. Jeez.
Crap and crap. I got standard camels instead of camel blues. I'll
keep you updated on this situation as it develops.
I don't know. What the what. Strongly considering
going to get my guitar fixed next weekend. Then it's Make Some Music time.
I'll do it hardcore and whatnot presumably. Just started smoking a regular
camel for the first time in a long time. Tastes okay. Not as blue,
though. Anyway. I don't know. Let's get to some goofballs and
funnybones. Jeez, only the third paragraph. How about that. I
think the Matt Harvey suspension is a big cover up. Some sort of
conspiracy. I think issuing subpoenas is in order. Probably.
Gotta think something. Jeez. Will I ever get to goofballs and
funnybones. I've got time to right the ship, sure. But I've got
absolutely no momentum to build on.
Goofball. I was googling myself in terms of my given
name to see if anything bad comes up if Job People google me to find out crap
about me. The worst thing is michaelkornblum.bandcamp.com. A lot of
real embarrassing songs on there. And I can't figure out how to sign into
it to delete it. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough. I can try right
now! That sounds like a plan. Hey, I did it! No more
michaelkornblum.bandcamp.com That settles that. Crap and crap.
That's a goofball, right? It sure seems like it. I don't know.
Class tomorrow. No homework, though. So that's pretty good.
Fifth paragraph. Time to right the ship. David
Wright hasn't played in a year and I still get confused when the commentators
say Fly Ball To Right. That's how I feel. Have part II of
four part dinner of stuffed filet of sole. I got that going for me.
No funnybones in this entry. I've got that going against me. I
have successfully deleted the band michaelkornblum. Oh well, it was
bound to happen sooner or later. Still no new TV. I guess its time
to accept the fact that I will not get a birthday present last year. Live
Sixth paragraph. Jeez. I don't know. Crap
and crap. Still gotta apply to movie theater. If not now, when.
If not theater, huh? If not sixth, paragraph. Let's get into some
goofballs. Have you heard about this. What the what. Strongly
considering scrapping this entry completely. But then you wouldn't know
that... Jeez, I don't know. Crap and crap. Might as well write ten
paragraphs for some reason. How's the Product 19 petition coming along.
No way of knowing. Probably not well. Limited amount of work for
rest of Spring Semester. Two labs. Second Draft of one of my scenes,
expand it to 10 pages. Maybe even do some limited studying for final.
So I got that going for me. And whatnot. Is there
anyone that actually enjoys drinking vegetable juice. V8? That's
eight reasons why I'll never drink it. Commentary. What else is
crap. But in the end, are fruits and vegetables the same thing.
Nope. No, they're not. Oh okay I get it. What else is
bullshit. It's the seventh paragraph. I turned into the Met game in
the ninth inning, just in time to see the commentators talking to a kid about
black and white cookies. What did I miss?! Probably baseball
and stuff. In the future, are Environmental Science classes going to be in
the history department? Well, we used to have something called the
environment. It was pretty important.
Commentary! Anyway. Good chance this'll
legitimately be a shorter entry than usual. A Good Chance? I'll
take those odds! It's mathematics, you wouldn't understand. I
don't know. It's the eighth paragraph. I don't get why Bernie
Sanders says Democracy is not a spectator sport. Sure it is. I watch
TV about it all the time. And not once have I passed legislation.
Issues. Crap and crap. More like Trump-islation, am I right?
Let's get that trending. As soon as something applicable pops up.
Last year there was a two day period where I got three messages on bandcamp
expressing interest in forming together to make music. Before that, after
that, zero. I guess that was the sweet spot and I missed my opportunity.
My response to each person was, Are you sure? Have
you heard my music? You might wanna rethink this. Gotta be
upfront and whatnot. Gettin' better at guitar portion of GarageBand app.
I can play notes and whatnot. Crap and crap. I like the drum machine
part of it too. Apparently there's only one beat I can conjure and I just
play that over and over. I can't even fathom any other sort of beat.
So that's good. Ninth paragraph. Just paid for my June class.
Using money. That's how I pay for stuff, I don't know about you.
Tenth paragraph. Cool. I don't know. Might
as well go for 20. Some goofballs are bound to happen by accident.
Watched a little bit of one of the Paranormal Activities. It's scary
because there's no direction or soundtrack to give you clues when frightening
will occur. That's how I feel. It's also scary because it reminds me
of ParaNorman. Gives me the chills just thinking about it.
Anyway, what the what. The point is I may never have to take a test again.
Sure, life throws us tests all the time. But usually not on scantrons.
Halfway done. Whew. Watched some Lock Up: The
Show About Prison last night. Sometimes that show really hits the spot.
Except for how a lot of the inmates have better lives than me. This guy
was hiding a walkman in the pipes. I want a walkman! Why can't I
get a walkman. This guy is having a prison wedding with a lady
seperated by glass. Prisoners in jail for the rest of their life can
get ladies. What's wrong with me, then. You want just one thing,
or is a list okay? Commentary. Plus, they get three square meals
a day and get to hang out with their friends all the time.
Anyway. I learned some strategy for drinking Snapple.
Shake up the bottle before you pour it. Tea leaves get mixed up. So
I got that going for me. Anyway. I had a bowel movement yesterday.
So all in all it was a productive weekend. Two months since I started
dieting. 20 pounds. That's pretty respectable. Respect it,
damnit! I'm pretty sure there's no correct way to spell damnit.
Just keep it two words, I guess. Anyway, crap and stuff. I don't
think I mentioned this when it happened, but its probably one of the highlights
from the semester. I impressed Environment Teacher by knowing where the
Cuyahoga river was.
So I got that going for me. 12th paragraph. Took
a Ritalin right around the 10th. So, great. I don't know. What
the what. I crunched the numbers and I'm gonna be 30 next year. Holy
Crap. Whatta jip. Gotta start taking things seriously. Stop
taking things in jest. Life, ya know. The big question. Where
is life? Who does life effect? How many anagrams can you make with
the word Life? I can think of File, off the top of my head. Anyway,
crap and crap. I have a File Cabinet in my room. Not to brag or
anything. Anyway. I don't like the idea of not dieting once I reach
my ideal weight. I mean, at first, sounds great. But it's hard to
get in the habit of that sweet spot. Getting in the habit of eating less
to diet, somewhat hard, but once you're there, not so much. Easy to get in
the habit of over eating. Hard to hit that sweet spot, is all I'm saying.
Sure, why not. 13th paragraph. I watched Galaxy
Quest a few days ago. I may or may not have talked about it. I liked
it! I referenced Galaxy Quest in one of the very first entries on
Crazysheet.com. I had never seen it, but I remembered from the commercial,
Tim Allen says Never Give Up, Never Surrender. And this was right
after the 2004 election. And I was reading articles about how it was
stolen or something. And I linked to those articles. And I said
That Thing Tim Allen Says. Memories that will last a lifetime.
They're on the internet. Internet is permanent. Jeez I hope I
didn't mention my name in that entry. Then Job People will know how I feel
about politics and/or Tim Allen.
Wow, that was a fuckin' entire paragraph. It's rare
I have an entire paragraph actually about one thing. 14th now, great.
So, I ended up writing an entry after all. Was it great? No.
Was it adequate? No. Was it mediocre? Almost!.
Hah. Exclamation Mark Period. Man am I easily amused.
Great. I hope I didn't miscalculate and end up not graduating after the
fall. I'd be like jeez oh no. And my parents would be like
not responsible. And I'd be like, Hey, I still haven't gotten my
TV! So I got stuff planned out if that happens. Never hurts to
be prepared. Unless preparing negatively effects your life in some
respect. Wasting time on getting prepared, for example. You're
prepared for no good reason and it ate up a certain amount of your life.
So you gotta look out for that. Anyway. 15th
paragraph. I got that going for me. I haven't gotten a haircut in a
while. Let's see where that takes me. When I was a youth, I always
had spikey hair. Gelled it up and crap. I figured people with
spikey hair are cool. I wanna be cool! Also, I had non-gelled
spikey hair when I was born. The nurses called me The Punk Baby.
And that was the last time a group of people liked me. Anyway, what the
what. And I turned out to write punk-esque indie rock music-esque.
So basically I'm back to where I was at when I was less than a week old.
Progress! What else is going on. 16th paragraph.
Who knows how long this'll be. Long enough. Camels are okay.
Camel Regular, that's the standard cigarette as far as I'm concerned. And
I'm concerned pretty far. At least 10, 15 feet. What else is going
on. If you smoke Parliaments, does that mean you legally had a say on the
Brexit? My guess? Probably not. The good news is Entry.
Is spikey spelled without an e? Probably. That's what Microsoft
FrontPage seems to think. I'll defer to the expert in this situation.
17th paragraph. Jeez. Also, prisoners usually
don't have smart phones. They get to live in the moment. You know,
sitting on a toilet next to their bed for fun eight hours a day? That's
the life. Anyway, crap and crap. I wonder if prisoners ever fashion
make-shift musical instruments. Seems like it would occur every now and
then. Musicians gotta play music. Anyway, crap and crap. I don't
know. When thinking about quitting smoking, I always tell myself I'll do
it when I turn 30. That's coming up for some reason. Whatta jip.
Then I'll have to be healthy like a chump.
18th paragraph. Jeez. I started off in 2012 only
writing 5 paragraphs. At some point when to 10. That lasted a while,
I feel. Then went to 20. Also lasted a decent amount. Now I
pretty much do 25-30 and occasionally even more as the standard. Whatta
chump. Seeing a dental hygienist in July. I feel like I'm getting
better at avoiding licking dental hygienist's fingers during cleaning.
Last time I got in a groove and it wasn't even that difficult. Hopefully I
can keep that streak going. The appointment is for 3:00, though, which I
consider a huge missed opportunity. Crap and crap.
19th paragraph. Great. Lost most of the roll I
had on poker. Looks like it's back to not doing poker I guess. Or I
go on tilt and deposit another 25 dollars. Can't discount that
possibility. Very good chance that'll happen. What do I care, I got
money to burn. I'm no longer spending 20 dollars on alcohol every week.
From one addiction to another. Progress! Anyway. I
still have a dollar and a half. I can make some moves with that.
It'll last me a good 10 minutes. I haven't watched the last few new
Simpsons. I guess I got that to look forward to. For some reason,
there's stuff I'm planning on watching that I'm delaying until I get the new TV.
Stuff that I have access to on this TV and aren't in HD.
Oh well, live and learn. 20th paragraph. I don't
know. Maybe go for 25 today. We'll see. Doubled up. Now
I have over 3 dollars. Everything's comin' up Michael Kornblum.
Shit, Job People are now alerted to this paragraph. Hey, guys!
Gimme a job. Just do it, why not. Anyway, crap and crap. I
don't know. If I double up once more I'm really back in business.
That keeps happening over the last week. And if I bust, I find a way I
still have some dollars because of bonuses. I feel like I've gone over
this with you.
Anyway, 21st paragraph. Cool. Just won another
dollar. Jeez. What else is crap. My Dad said to put that I'm
on the Dean's List in Job Application. I don't know. You don't know
what the dean is listing. It could be his list of real shitty students.
Crap and crap. I don't know. Gotta get up at 9:15 tomorrow.
Well, 9:23. I got some leeway with the 9:15 time. Crap and crap, I
don't know. Four paragraphs to go after this one. That's doable.
I wonder what kind of crap on TV I'll watch tonight. Who knows. I
No I don't. What's the deal, tell me.
Don't make me not know. Fuck mysteries. Except for the song
Mystery by The Apples In Stereo. I've got no qualms with that.
Magical Mystery Tour. Sure. Lost two dollars. On account of
Not Caring Enough. So I got that going for me. I knew I should
have played as if I cared. Real rookie mistake. Anyway. I
don't know. 22nd paragraph. Jeez. I like smoking these Indian
Cherry Cigarettes. Makes me feel like it's 2010 again. The Golden
Years. Year. Year is more accurate. Unless I'm using 2010 as
rounding the time from 2009-2011. Which I am not.
23rd paragraph. Three to go. What else is
going on. I don't know. I don't even know the first thing that was
going on. No clue. Got a week of school coming up. Limited
homework, but still gotta get up and go to school. Great, just great.
I could theoretically skip the last two days of Lab and use that as the grade
gets dropped. If I wasn't living with parents, I'd do it. I don't
wanna deal with their bullshit if I did it, though. So, great. What
else. Penultimate after this paragraph. I shoulda been pennin'
ultimate this whole entry. I'll make that pun way more than I should,
Great. I don't know. What the what. Eat at
some point tonight. I got that planned. I'll go to class, sure.
Not counting having to wake up early, it's alright. I get to leave my
house and be in the same vicinity of people. Just lost the few dollars I
had. The good news is it was a suck out. The other good news is I'm
depositing 25 dollars like a chump. Maybe this time I'll play smart with
it. Seems like one way to go. It's crazy enough that it just might
Anyway. Last paragraph. I got that going for me
as well. I don't know. They're giving me a little bit of a hassle to
deposit. If I have to call my credit card people or anything, forget it.
Oh well, live and learn. Crap and crap. Whatnot. Yeah, it's
giving me a hassle so forget it. The good news is I just saved myself 25
dollars. What else is going on and crap. I guess I have to think of
another reason to sit up after I eat. Great, just my luck. I'll see
Friday, May 5, 2017
Tic Tac Entry
There we go. Hello friends.
Weight loss has slowed down considerably. Which annoyed me at first.
Then I realized I'm still burning the appropriate amount, but I was counting the
calories needed to maintain my weight too high. So I got that going for
me. Crap and crap, let's get to some goofballs and/or funnybones. I
keep trying to lose my money on poker or double up, and I keep doubling up to
the amount I started at. Lose 50% of it, double up, lose 50%, double up...
Whatta jip. At this point I might as well just play responsibly and try to
build it up slowly. Like a chump!
Anyway, crap and crap. Nurse Practioner says the
threshold is making 1100 dollars a month to impact my social security money.
She's probably lying, though. I wouldn't put it past her. So, I
checked the median Adult Male American BMI. I reach it in 10
pounds. Then, 50th percentile! Like a champ. Is that
counting American Indians? Let's hope so. They use All
of the Buffalo. And I assume the only use is consumption.
Probably. I wouldn't put it past them. Crap and crap, where is this
going. I don't konw. I felt a little bit too sad for Jay Bruce
because his homerun last night doesn't count. It really bothered me.
And I'm not even Jay Bruce. I checked and double checked and I'm 95% sure
I'm not him.
What else and crap. What's the point of scrapping the
game entirely if it's rained out before the 5th inning. Just continue from
where you were next time. Why not. No reason not to. What are
you stupid or something? Let's talk about it. Apparently Jeb Bush and Mitt
Romney are opposing forces in trying to buy the Miami Marlins. It's
Republican Letdown Vs. Republican Letdown! Only One Letdown Will Win!
Maybe neither of them. With their track record, I'd bet on neither
of them. From now on, is any legislation for the entire future concerning
health care going to be called Name-of-PresidentCare? How
many ___cares are we gonna get.
And the irony is who cares. What else is crappening.
Are all substantial legislations going to be reduced to a two word phrase meant
for three year olds to understand? Three examples which are humorous.
I'll come back to it maybe. I mean, I'm writing an entry. In theory
to have goofballs. I come across a premise that there are goofballs to be
riffed on. Which hardly ever happens. Seems logical that I'd try to
write some goofballs based on it. Anyway, what else. I should just
try to satellite into a satellite into an even larger satellite to win a seat at
a tourney where first prize is 250K. Seems like a great way to go about
things with ten dollars.
I don't know. Alright. Goofball for that premise.
Whta was it. Oh. Future legislation reduced to an excoriating simple
two word phrase. Trump-islation. That's the overarching term
for the next four years, anything he tries to put through. I'll think
of a second and third thing later. I came up with one, that's pretty
good. It'd have to be one thing after another after another, though.
But if that does happen, sure the media'll call it Trump-islation. They
got nothing better to do. Anyway. Gonna eat four frozen White Castle
Hamburgers from Freezer. One of the books I have to read for Literature &
Politics in June is called The Hamburgler's Daughter or something. I don't
have all the details.
Commentary. When sucking up to Professor at the
end of his last class with us, I should have asked him if maybe he knew any
experienced playwrights who do musicals who wanna go in with me on the musical
play I had in mind a month ago. I figure, I'm the idea man, let's get
someone else to do the grunt work, I show up at the premiere wearing a top hat,
and people give me awards nine months later. I got it all planned out.
What else is crap. Apparently unemployment is really low. Or
employment is really high. Glass half-full situation.
Anyway, great. Seventh paragraph. What the what.
It's Cinco De Mayo. Are there any American holidays where the name of the
holiday is just the date its on. Martin Luther King Day?
No, no. That's not right. May Fourth. Fuckin' Star Wars
Day. I hate it so much. It's probably aggrevated by the fact I don't
give a shit about Star Wars. I saw Episode 7. It was okay. I
didn't hate it. That's the best thing I can say about Star Wars. And
when I saw Episode I in the theaters, a bunch of funny stuff happened that I
can't remember completely. The only thing from that I remember is there
was a young kid in the front row wearing a football helmet and people kept
throwing popcorn at him.
So, yeah, in terms of kids in football helmets in strange
places getting popcorn thrown at them, Episode I was okay. What else is
going on. Trump praising Australia's progressive healthcare system.
I'm starting to just get the impression that Trump just doesn't understand what
words mean. All he knows is when he starts saying words people tend to
listen to him and give him attention. What else is going on.
Terminator II is coming back to theaters in 3D according to a thing I saw on
Facebook. I just hope people going to it don't think it's the 23rd
installment of Terminator part D. There's gonna be a lot of confusion, I'm
It sure seems like the 22rd sequel, am I right?!
Commentary. What else is crap. Hah. 22rd. Makes me
laugh. What else is going on and crap. I will run out of cigarettes
before Sunday. Probably. Definitely Newport, at least. I've
got about 15 Newport Cigarettes and about 12 Camel Cigarettes. I smoke a
pack a day. I smoke at a ratio of about 4:1 Newports to Camels.
Already smoked more than half of today's worth. It's cutting it pretty
close but I shold be okay. Also, this is a great math problem.
Someone get my Dad on the phone.
I got a loud text warning me about flash floods today.
Spoiler alert! Whatta jip. We as a family need to get a new printer.
The last dozen things I've printed have come out choppy and every few lines I
need to fill in a word or two with pen to make it legible. This printer
has let me down hardcore. Anyway, what kind of paragraph is this.
Possibly even the tenth? Hey, it is the tenth. I'm great at
estimating counting. That's another math problem. But it has to be
estimation. No actual counting, that's cheating. My rules, I make 'em
What the what. The Mets went from fifth place to second
place in the NL East roughly in one game. I guess because the NL East is
terrible. Well, in baseball. The East Coast is the better of the
coasts in general. And NL surely can stand for something other than
National League. I know it stands for Night Live under optimal
circumstances. I have to refill my Snapple like a chump. BRB in 30
seconds. I won't be back in 30 seconds. I'm saying BRB for it to be
applicable in 30 seconds. I'm leaving in 30 seconds, in other words.
Then it's a BRB for another forty seconds before I'm back. Then we're done
with BRBs for a while. Thirty seconds... starting... soon. In
a minute I will start the 30 seconds after which I will leave and come back in
an additional 40 seconds. This is another great math problem!
I should be writing textbooks.
I'm back. I briefly had the thought, Jeez, I
hope they weren't actually timing me. Then I did realize that was
impossible. So, sure. Also, poured soda to replace my Snapple.
Not quite refilling Snapple, which is what I said. Sorry about that.
What else is going on. 12th paragraph. I watched Goodfellas last
night/this morning. Why is that supposed to be one of the greatest movies
ever. It's okay. I was entertained enough during most of it. I
don't see how it's great or anything, though. What else is going on.
Whattado with my weekend. I still got a large majority of it left. I
will continue that thought in the upcoming paragraph.
Or discard it. Ah, I promised I'd continue it, might as
well. Let's see, right. Whattado with my weekend. Well, let's
look at the options, shall we? TV. Poker. Entries. That
will be what I do with the weekend. The options, though, are what percent
of time I will devote to each thing. Anyway, crap and crap. Gotta
devote some time to crap, probably. I haven't had a bowel movement in as
long as I can remember. And I eat Fiber now all the time. Oh well.
Guess I have stomach cancer or something. Live and learn. I don't
get Flintstone Vitamins for a bunch of reasons. Reason the first--
Parents are buying it, not kids. Don't need to market it towards kids,
they're not the ones buying it. Two-- Parents have no reason to think kids
will be happier taking a vitamin in a shape of a cartoon character than in a
different shape. Makes absolutely no difference. Three-- the last
kids who watched the Flintstones were Baby Boomers.
I feel very strongly about this. 14th paragraph.
What the what. I have no brand loyalty to The Flintstones. What else
is going on. Also, Five-- you gotta be paying royalties to The
Flintstones, right, as a company? Must be. And you get nothing out
of it. What else is going on. I mean, okay, let's even say that it's
possible there's a greater demand for a multivitamin if its in the shape of a
beloved franchise. You can do way better than The Flintstones. Jeez.
What else. Gotta feel strongly about something. I suppose.
Anyway, first 13 paragraphs flew by. Even with that amount of time I BRB'd
(and talked about BRBing). Now walls. Hey, I can take Ritalin!
Wait, no. Did that when I BRBed.
15th paragraph. What else is going on. Haven't
drank since New Pornographers still. Knockin' some Responsible out of the
park. I wonder what's going on in the wide world of sports. Another
Met game tonight. Which may also be rained out. I think the rain is
supposed to be over, though. Rain answers to no one, though. Except
for meteorologists. They control the rain. Crap and crap. It's
a good thing we don't have acid rain. I've crunched the numbers and acid
rain is a bad. Sure is. Anyway, crap and crap. That would be a
cool thing to be. Hey, he's that guy who wrote that funny musical that
some people like! That's a thing to be. Right?
The only problem now is I don't know how to write a funny
musical. Also, no work ethic to write an entire musical.
Also, limited inspiration to write a musical. Besides those things
though, it's a slam dunk. Which I believe is a basketball reference.
Anyway, crap and crap. I just remembered, I had a part of a dream last
night or some recent night, that just had me making a basket. Just one
tiny moment of hitting a shot and everyone was like, Hey, he did it.
Nice. So I got that going for me I suppose. Now, all we can do
is hope that making a basket and hitting a shot are appropriate
ways to describe that action. We can also do other stuff, I guess.
Nobody's stopping us.
17th paragraph. Of course, the 100% responsible way to
approach my poker bankroll is, I need to sit up after I eat dinner for an
hour, for digestion. Just keep a roll to play with for that one hour and
play at the lowest stakes possible. I'm no 100% responsible, though.
I'm 50, 60% responsible at best. Anyway. Does anybody who doesn't
have a job where you type a lot of numbers fast actually use the number grid on
the right of the keyboard? E-mail me your answers at
email@example.com and if
you answer correctly you may win a prize!
Anyway, crap and crap. I want to win a prize.
Where's the prize? How can I win it. Jeez. 18th paragraph.
I'm gonna move up in stakes. That's how small a percentage of
Responsible I am. Anyway, jeez. What the what. Man, if I
had 250K, I could play 1/2 dollar tables for the rest of my life!
I guess. What else. My parents are under the impression that the
best thing for me is to live here at my house for the rest of my life.
They think I should stay here all throughout the rest of their lives, and just
stay here afterwards. Financially, does it make sense? Some.
In practice? Why the Hell would I want to do that?
Jeez. What the what. 19th paragraph. My
house is one of my least favorite places in the world. It gets a lot of
points just on the merit of being where all my stuff is currently, but, let's
say it was just a house without any associations of it having my bed and my TV
and my parents who are pretty okay most of the time, then yeah, fuck this house.
Parents, sure they're pretty okay most of the time, but that's a negative, too.
I think we can understand that. I'm an adult and I don't like living with
my parents even though they're pretty okay in general. I think we can
We can understand a lot of things. I believe in us!
I don't even like my bed. You give me a random bed, tell me to choose
between my bed and a bed completely at random, I'll take what's behind door
number two. I'm drawn to my bed because it is my bed, that's
where I get my sleepin' done. But I'd take, well, jeez, you get the point.
20th paragraph. Who knows how unnecessarily long this entry'll be.
Not me. Maybe you do. You can estimate future counting I guess if
you're really talented. I think it shows a real weakness in my character
that I reguarly readily play above my limits in poker. It's the same
fuckin' game whether it's 1/2 cent or 10/25 cent. Exact same thing.
Except one way I can blow my roll and not have this to do as a hobby, and the
other way I can have the roll pretty much as long as I continue to not play
above my limits.
Well, we all gotta have some weaknesses. That turns out
to be one of mine. Anyway, crap and crap. In theory, if you're
looking at poker as a moneymaker, the higher stakes you play, the more you can
win. That's not even how I look at it, though. I just want the
bigger rush from playing higher stakes. Hah. As a Moneymaker.
It's poker, you wouldn't understand. I'm sure every poker player
fantasizes about being at the WSOP Main Event Final Table, but not like I do.
My thoughts, when considering that, usually consist of, I can do something
really fuckin' stupid/funny/crazy and they'll have to put it on TV!
And there are so many ways to go with that, many that I couldn't even think of.
Anyway, what the what. I don't know. 22nd
paragraph. Jeez. I don't know. What else is crap. If you
speak English and you ask What day is Cinco De Mayo you're okay. If
you speak Spanish and you ask What day is Cinco De Mayo people
might look at you funny. Or, they'll say Next week, or,
Tomorrow, or maybe It's a Thursday if the situation calls for it
under optimum conditions. So there are loopholes. Jeez, I don't
know. Yeesh. My gut is telling me to go for 30 paragraphs. And
you can't argue with your gut. Your gut listens to no reason.
Anyway, what the what. I kinda wish the first version of the Republican
Spending Bill went through (and maybe it did, I don't know the news, prepare for
pun, though), so the headline could have been The First Cut Is The Deepest.
Because there would be deep cuts presumably.
I don't know how the budget stuff worked out over the past
months. What am I, a genius? Anyway. In a worst case scenario,
I can smoke my Mom's cigarettes. They taste like bullshit, though. I
can tolerate the cigar/cigarettes we used to get from Indian Reservation or
something, but we might not have any. Pretty sure we haven't gotten them
in seven years. Might be a pack or two left, though, I don't know. I
don't have all the answers. I don't even have a majority of the answers.
I've got 10, 15% of the answers, tops. I don't even know most of the
questions! Whatta Bullshit!
24th paragraph. Alright! I ought to get my
electric guitar fixed. I can freakin' take the bus there, I don't need to
wait for a ride. It would involve some walking, though. To and from
bus stop. That, I can't handle. Walking! Who needs it!
Not me. Maybe I do. But I don't want it. I'm really bad
at trusting scales. That's another character flaw I have. Yeah,
it says I weigh 158 pounds, but we both know it's less than that. The
scale's just tryin' to mess with me. Apparently Chris Pine is hosting
SNL this weekend. I have no idea who that is. Not a clue. And
I feel like I watched a movie recently that he was in.
Commentary. 25th paragraph. Sounds good to
me. I know he's not Chris Pratt. I've narrowed it down to that.
I wonder if the substitute teacher we have for the last two weeks of Play
Class's opening statement on Tuesday will be So, I've been hearing good
things about Michael Kornblum. One can only imagine Yes. Or No.
I've narrowed it down to those two things. Also, he theoretically
remembers me from the class I took with him two years ago. This is the guy
I ran into in the bathroom twice in the Fall and completely ignored me.
Which could be for a variety of reasons. 1- He doesn't remember me.
2- He doesn't wanna talk because our dicks are out. 3-- he doesn't
wanna talk because this is his free time, damnit and doesn't wanna deal
with students, even acknowledge them, in his free time.
I've narrowed it down to a bunch of things is the point.
Crap and crap. 26th paragraph. So five more paragraphs to go,
theoretically. That's pretty cool. I get my electric guitar fixed,
seems pretty likely I'll get started on a new batch of Music. I should do
that. It's another thing to waste my time on. Sounds like fun to me.
Each batch of songs is pretty unique compared to the other batches of songs.
It'll be a whole new thing! That will be by and about me! I love
me! Anyway, great, what else is crap. Oh, plus, I can get my
Stratocaster fixed instead of my Other One. That's a blast from the past!
Anyway. Good chance that'll never happen. I don't have
the discipline to walk 4 times to and from bus stop. Two each time.
Giving it to place for them to fix it, taking it home. Plus, two of those
four times, I'll be carryin' my guitar, Like A Chump! Anyway, crap and
crap. I don't know. Anyway. Should send in Movie Theater Job
Application in this weekend. Need some time to figure out what a resume
is. That sort of crap. That's another thing. If I win a
satellite into a satellite into a final table, I can have a 5 figure roll in
poker. Then I can play 1/2 dollar stakes, up to 2/4 dollar stakes if I'm
good, play smart, get even better at playing smart, and make 10 dollars an hour.
That'll be my part time job. All I need to do is pull off a 1/20,000 to
Anyway. 28th paragraph. Wonderful. I can't
wait to find out who Chris Pine is. Commentary. What else is
going on. Is there a new Real Time tonight? I wanna know if Bill
Maher is gonna play my song. Chances are he won't, even if it is a new
episode. But it's something to look out for and whatnot. Three
paragraphs to go. Things goin' to shit. Part of me wants to do more,
activistly, to help things. But an even bigger part of me wants to retreat
into a bubble and not know anything and pretend like nothings happening.
I'm predisposed to laziness, so that's pretty much the way it goes.
Two paragraphs to go. Then I'll be happy. The
Environmental Science Syllabus says I don't have class this Wednesday. I'm
pretty sure it's lying, though. So I got that going for me. What
else and crap. I don't know. I could write about The Issues at
crazysheet. That's a thing people do. I'd have to be knowledgeable,
though. Who needs that. What else. I should just be happy that
most of the time I have enough Newports to smoke all my little heart desires.
That's a Win. Plus, I get pocket fours every now and then.
Last paragraph. Anyway. I'll hit a set on you.
You'll never see it coming. What else and crap. Hit a fuckin' Ace to
Five straight. Just try and stop me. I will have 10 baked potato
chips to compliment my four White Castles. No more, no less. I've
crunched the numbers and that's the way to go. Why couldn't the
presidential election have been rained out in the third inning. Let's talk
about it, it's The Issues. Anyway, crap and crap. I'd even take it
being stopped after the fifth inning, Hillary was still winning then. Then
it'd all be over, no make up game even. One more paragraph.
Crunched the numbers and 31 is the way to go. I get
e-mails every week updating me on how the Bring Back Product 19 Petition is
going. Get's about a dozen new comments a month. So that's going
well. If I can't get Product 19 back on the shelves, how am I supposed to
help the world in a larger context. Issues. What else and crap.
Maybe one more paragraph after this. I got time to kill. I bet all
the businesses that have vanity phone numbers where each number is the same
really envy the business that got 777-7777. Seven numbers overall.
Easily the best of those 10 possible numbers. Well, nine. I'm
assuming you can't do 000-0000.
I guess you could. Nobody's stoppin' ya. Except
the Phone People probably. What else and crap. Also, 8. You
can't have 555-5555. No number can start with 555 on account of Movies.
What else and crap. If I'm not living with my parents, I could probably
get in a rhythm of just not knowing news at all. Won't be exposed to
fifteen minutes of MSNBC every day. Then, it's just a matter of not going
online or leaving my room at all. Easy. Also, what else.
Almost done. This was a joy. Thanks for having me. I'll see ya
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Pretty Sure This Is A Title
I capitalized the, "A," in the title.
You can't stop me! I'll capitalize what I want. Wrote another
beginning of a scene for Play Class today. The premise was originally,
there's a three person rap group, and two of them are rappin' with each other
through all the dialogue, and the third person was terrible at it and couldn't
keep up. That premise was abandoned and just turned into them rapping meh
dialogue. Don't blame me. It's the characters fault. Anyway.
This was the last class with this professor. Last two weeks with another
one. Great, a whole new professor to attempt to impress. Whatta jip.
Crap and crap. Knocked the last Environment Test out of
the park. With the +10, most likely got in the 80's, possibly even the
90's. Even with all that thinking about being happy just to pass the
class, I'm gonna end up with a B or something. Because I wasted time
preparing for these last assignments of the class. Whatta jip. Where
do I get off wasting my time being an Adult and Productive. Anyway.
May the Fourth be with you! I thought of that, just now.
Me. And it's delightful. Crap and crap, what's crappening.
Four day weekend. About time! Don't know my weight exactly, but I'm
about 15 pounds away from being in the target BMI range instead of overweight.
That was fast.
The point is I get to wear all my old great t-shirts.
That's good stuff. Thinking about applying to Movie Theater. Just
last week I was looking at job openings at Fresh Meadows Movie Theater and Bay
Terrace Movie Theater. Then, on Tuesday, waiting to see my therapist.
One person in the waiting room talking to another about working at AMC Loews
Fresh Meadows. What! What! What divine providence.
I interrupted them and told her my story and asked about it and whatnot. I
take this as a sign. To spend more time in waiting rooms. Waiting
for divine providences.
If I get a part time job over the next couple of months, and
graduate at the end of the fall, by that time, I can start looking to move out
of parent's house and find some place where I can be a Roommate. The point
is Adulting My Life Up is within sight. Alright! I get disability
money from Social Security. That's why I can afford it, supplements my
potential paltry income. The point is life is out there just waiting to be
knocked out of the park. Anyway. Got to talkin' to guy I've smoked
cigarettes with just outside of campus. We made plans to jam on guitar.
So that's a thing that'll never happen.
Anyway, crap and crap. Was tellin' professor after
class I really enjoyed this class. Real Adult move. I do it all the
time. He told me to keep in touch and let him know future things I will be
having written wrote. I'm not gonna do that, but the gesture was
appreciated. Maybe if I get something published or something, sure, I'll
e-mail blast all my old teachers. I'm not gonna let him know that I wrote
a really good Facebook Post, though. Anyway, crap and crap. I wrote
a really great Twitter and no one cares. Where is justice and whatnot.
Fifth paragraph? Nope, sixth. Wow. I'm kind
of glas Syndeergard got injured. Give some of the peripheral starters some
time back in the spotlight. Matt Harvey, Zach Wheeler. Now they can
rise to the top like they're supposed to. Syndeergaard there, you can't
have five aces. It just doesn't make sense. Now they can become aces
again. I'm not sure if that qualifies as logic, but there it is.
Anyway, what the what. There was a spider in my kitchen last night while
eating dinner. I honestly briefly had the genuine thought, "Well, best
case scenario, it bites me, I become Spiderman."
No such luck. Anyway. If a radioactive Peter
Parker bit a spider, would it develop human qualities? These things beg
answers. What else is crap. I impressed Professor by telling him I
watched Married To The Mob a few days ago. It made sense in
context. Anyway. Seventh paragraph. Whattado. It's May
and crap. How about that. I watched Halloween II last night.
It was like Halloween I but half an hour later. I don't like how the
Doctor who treated Michael Myers talks about him. He's not human!
He's totally irredeemable! Do your job, Doc. If anything, I'm
placing the blame on you. Just cause you couldn't help him, don't be a
jerk and say he's supernatural. This is all your fault.
Anyway, crap and crap. I'm pretty sure most of
Halloween II is after midnight. Not really Halloween anymore.
Halloween: The Movie is gonna get a strongly worded letter about that!
Strongly worded. That sounds like how Trump might describe his vocabulary
skills. Issues. What the what and whatnot. Comey saying
he's, "Mildly Nauseated," at the idea he's responsible for the election.
Pretty sure he got that term from some woman telling him she's mildly nauseated
by his face, and he incorporated it into his vocabulary. Seems like the
most likely scenario. What else is crap.
Ninth paragraph. I got that going for me. See my
Doctor for therapy tomorrow. Saw my Therapist on Tuesday. This is a
Doctor. Whose actually not a Doctor. Just a Nurse Practioner.
Whole different ball of wax. Crap and crap, what's going on and crap.
No new TV! Whatta jip. I had my birthday like a chump, and no
present. If I had known I would get a year older, and not get any
presents, I probably wouldn't have had the birthday in the first place.
What else is crap. Not a single drink in a week since New Pornographers.
Did explain to Therapist and Father that I may allow myself one drinking session
a week, if I so choose. They're okay with it. So I got that going
Anyway, crap and crap. Tenth paragraph. I hope I
never meet someone else whose birthday is 12/12. Trying to steal my
thunder, huh asshole? I'm onto you. Crap and crap. I don't
know. I believe stealing someone's thunder is a Greek Mythology reference.
Seems like it would be. That's not a joke. It's an honest
hypothesis. Crap and crap, what else. I had a dream Bill Mahar was
playing one of my songs on Real Time. Himself, on acoustic guitar.
And, at first I was excited, but then I had the thought, Wait a second, does
he always play this song on Real Time? And I just thought I wrote it but
actually heard it on Real Time With Bill Mahar? You know, that old
11th paragraph. Wow. The Mick finally had their
season finale. And the good news is everyone got along. Whew.
Anyway, crap and crap. If I'm too lazy to throw out my 70 calorie fudge
bar when I'm eating it in my room, I put it down on my notepad and throw it out
later. I have to turn the page once the process is done, though, or else
my parents will come into my room and think I'm wiping shit all over my note
pad. Issues. What else is crap and stuff. Made a
goofball in Environment Class. Professor asked us, anyone here actually
ever feel a piece of coal? I go, Yeah, on Christmas.
Knocked it out of the park. If I could have figured out how to punctuate
it with a, ":-(," smiley face, I would have. Oh well.
12th paragraph. Frowny Faces are still Smiley Faces,
right? In computer lingo? That's how I feel. Crap and crap.
Pizza for dinner tonight. I don't believe it. An Apple A Day Keeps
The Doctor Away. That doesn't sound good. You're gonna need a doctor
sooner or later. You keep eating apples, that doctor apparently doesn't
want anything to do with you. Think of your health! Jeez. What
else and whatnot. I don't know which of my plays to expand to 10 pages and
edit enough so it's comfortably of second draft quality. So many choices.
Some of them good choices. Comparatively.
Anyway, 13th paragraph. I've got to cop to having a
disibility in job application forms. I mean, I can not, but if I'm being
honest, yeah. I don't have to say specifically what my deal is. They
just ask you if you have a disability, list some examples, which include serious
mental illnesses. Yep. Then they ask a follow up question, would
that illness need accommodation. Nope! I'm good! They also, in
this form at least, ask what's the minimum hourly wage you'll work for.
Isn't that something you should be telling me? Let's talk about it and
Crap and crap. I should have asked Waiting Room Person
to be a reference for me. That'll get me the job for sure. I don't
know them, though. So that was one obstacle. And it's very possible
she thought, This guy is just planning on stalking me, isn't he?
And the answer would be sure, maybe to some degree. What else.
14th paragraph. I thought I lost all my money on poker, but it turned out
I had enough points to be worth 5 dollars. Now I'm back on poker.
Jeez. I was kind of looking forward to a life without poker. I might
just buy into a tourney worth all I have, and if I get a lot, great, if I don't,
see you in Hell poker.
Mets have been winning every now and then. That's
pretty good. I don't like the part where more than half of their starting
line up is hitting below .200, though. And that their pitchers are mucking
it up. They still got time to turn it around, though. And being a
huge dissapointment at this point would make it all the more sweet. I
really want Matt Harvey to step it up. He's the Dark Knight.
Comebacks are fun in general. Unless you're on the recieving end of them
in a rap battle. Then they're infuriating and potentially real
What else. Thinking about doing the music open mic I've
done several times in the past. It's Monday nights, though, and it's very
possible I wouldn't go on till even past midnight. And I got schools on
Tuesdays! But I could trick people into letting me into their music scene
social group. That would be the trick of all tricks. Last time I
went, I brought my electric guitar, and got on stage, and I was like, Okay,
where's the amp? They were like, We don't have an amp!
And I was like, Well, this was not only a waste of time, but potentially real
embarrassing. Someone in the crowd had an amp, though. Crisis
I should do the open mic, and treat it as a rap battle, but
there's no one to battle, so I just heckle the people in the audience. I
shouldn't really do that. It would be the actions of an imbecile.
But in theory... I don't know. Where am I in the entry. 17th
paragraph. Cool. I could either get a small pizza pie and split it
with my mother. Or I could get 2 regular sicilian slices, which is my
prefence, but I would have to get two or three beef patties in addition.
First I was like, Well, if I have to get beef patties for tomorrow, and a 3rd
one for 2 snack sessions, so be it. Now I'm kind of pumped up about
getting beef patties. So I don't know what to do!
These are the days of my lives. Finished Scarface.
What to watch next. Probably watch Married To The Mob again.
Double dose of Michelle Pfeiffer. I feel like I was pretty good at
reading classmates' plays today. I'm proud of myself for doing something
so great. I like Michael Conforto as a leadoff hitter. He may not be
particularly fast, but there being a young outfielder named Michael Conforto,
seems like he would be fast. Conforto is a speedsters name. And You
Can't Argue With The Facts. Michael is a speedsters name. If I
played baseball, and was magically good at one aspect of it, I feel like being a
speedster could be that one thing. The point is I think Michael Conforto
should leadoff for every time in the major leagues every game. Let's Get
The Led Out. Let's get the Lead Off. Hmm.
Made a relatively poor call in poker. I'm just
havin' fun, though. I'm okay with losing my roll, might as well see what
the other guy had. And it was possible it was the right call. The
point is what kind of paragraph are we up to now. 19th. Hmm.
Probably more than 20 today. That's been happening pretty consistently.
What else is going on. Now I know you had me beat in this hand.
Now I can outplay you. It's strategy, you wouldn't understand.
Jeez, crap and crap. There are two days at the end of the month I can go
to Monday Night Open Mic. Finals week and week after Finals week. In
June, I have to go to class Tuesdays at 1:00 PM like a chump.
20th paragraph. What the what. Now the people
at this poker table think I'm loose. That'll come in handy when I start
playing loose now to make up for what I lost. They'll never not see it
coming. Crap and crap. WSOP Main Event is in a month or two I
believe. I like reading updates on that. Poker is a pretty good
spectator sport given the right conditions. Because I'm decent at it given
the right conditions. I can picture myself in on the action. Anyway,
what the what. There were a couple of easy botched plays in the field for
The Mets early on this season, so I've been conditioned to look at every pop up
and fly ball as if it might be fucked up. That's cool, I guess.
21st paragraph. I've seen a movie or two since Married
To The Mob. What were they. Halloween II. Right.
Anything else, hmm. I'll keep you updated on this situation as it
develops. Oh. John Carpenter's Vampires. That was okay.
A good movie to have on in the background while mucking around on my phone.
I don't know. Gettin' close to end of entry. I hadn't typed anything
in 5 or 10 minutes before that sentence. So I got that going for me and
whatnot. Jeez. Aim for 25 paragraphs? Or is it not even worth
it. Well, we know it's not worth it. But the royal We, as in, me, I
don't know. Because I'm not good at being not stupid.
22nd paragraph. Wow! I don't know. Crap and
crap. Two more weeks of classes. One final the following week.
Nothing the following week. New class the following week. Still new
class the week after that. Class, still, week after that... I'll keep
you updated on what happens after that as the situation develops.
Sure. Why not. When starting Diet, I was thinking my target weight
should be 115. I was looking at some calculations online, different
formulas for the absolute ideal body weight. For me, the range would be
117-131. So, I'll go for 120. I wanna be ideal!
It's the ideal thing to be. Unless you don't like being
ideal. Then it's way off. Crap and crap, three more paragraphs.
Then about time to order Pizza Pie. I remember as a kid, not eating the
crust of pizza. How privileged. Its just bread, who needs it,
it's of no use to me. Better throw it out. Kids can be real
assholes. Especially kids that were me. Anyway, what the what.
When I had Lunchables Pizza for school lunch in elementary school, wouldn't put
on the shredded cheese. Just the little biscuit they had for the bread,
and some tomato sauce. I don't need cheese, who cares.
Probably. 24th paragraph. When I was a kid I
would sometimes have Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Always disgusted me.
I would have it anyway. Now, as an adult, I don't have to have Peanut
Butter Sandwiches. So my life is exponentially better, is the point.
Crap and crap. Whattado with the rest of my night. Watch The Met
Game for some reason. Muck around on phone while doing that. I'm
gettin pretty mediocre at guitar app on garageband app. I can play notes
and everything. Hit buttons for chords, if that's the kind of thing I'm
workin' on. Good stuff.
Last paragraph. Wow. I don't know. What
else and crap. Going to sleep is my least favorite time of the day.
I take my night medicine, go to bed, can't fall asleep for two hours.
Consumed by my thoughts and loneliness. Whatta jip. Who needs it.
Not like waking up. Waking up, the whole day's ahead of you! Who
knows what kinda great will happen today! Plus, all the stuff from
yesterday that I got bored of, is new again! Won't get bored of this
for a few hours! So I got that going for me under the right
conditions. I don't know. I feel like 1 extra paragraph.
That'll hit the spot just right.
But can't go over this paragraph. That would be setting
a dangerous precedent. I don't know, what else and crap. Getting to
the time where I can start wearing my old t shirts. I mention it a lot,
but it is pretty much the main good thing in life to look forward to these days.
So, yeah, sure. What else. What kind of topping can I get on my
pizza that I will regret once I start eating it. Decisions, decisions.
What else. There's a strong case to be made for mushrooms. But you
can't count out anchovies. That's a great topping that seems like a good
idea at first, and once you start eating it, you resort to removing 90% of the
anchovies. Also, one more paragraph.
I got nothin' to do! Why. Because of crap.
Order pizza around 7, regardless of what else is going on in my life a half an
hour from now. Yeesh. I get a real buzz from writing extra
paragraphs. It's not a Responsible or an Adult, but it is a Productive and
a fourth adjective I use alternatively as a pronoun and adjective. Gotta
think of a fourth adjective. I'll come back to this later. For sure.
Now the idea is I have to fo for 30 paragraphs. This is the 27th.
Three more paragraphs after that. Should take a half hour or possibly
less. Just right.
The first 10-15 paragraphs go quick. Just so you know
I'm not spending a half an hour for every three paragraphs on this shit.
I'm not writing an entry over eight hours. That would be stupid. Not
like what this'll be. Anyway, jeez. Crap and crap. Runnin' low
on cigarettes. Should just get me by until next time I get cigarettes.
If I had never let anyone bum/buy a cigarette off me, I'd have enough for sure!
No good deed goes unpunished. I learnt about it from proverbs. I
don't wanna read the book from the Bible Proverbs, because I'm sure I'll
be disappointed how few actual proverbs are in there.
I don't want to be disappointed! That's a fool's
errand. Or errant fool. How does that proverb go? Better
check the Bible. Sure I know that's not a proverb. What of it.
29th paragraph. Doin' it hardcore. I don't know. I wonder how
many stolen bases Michael Conforto will have today. Two? Three?
More than three? I don't know. Gonna have to watch to find out.
Or read the box score later. I've got options, is the point. I don't
know. Crap and crap. I've been drinking all my week's supply of soda
too soon. I guess that's not a Fourth Word To Use As An Adjective And
Pronoun move, is it?
Last paragraph, though. Got that going for me.
There's Chump. I use that word in those situations. But the thing
from last paragraph would be a Chump move. So drop the not
in the sentence. It's a Chump move. While on the bus ride home, I
saw a Pepsi Truck and a Coca Cola Truck right next to each other in adjacent
lanes on the highway. I'm very happy they didn't try to run each other off
the road. Crisis averted. What else is going on. Anyway.
Keith Hernandez said, "Hotlanta," last night. I figure that's pretty
Last paragraph. I'm not even gonna talk about how I'm
going over the limit again. Except for that sentence. And these.
From now on, though, not gonna acknowledge it. It's May. Huh.
Great. Good thing this paragraph exists. Crap and crap.
Just doubled up my roll in poker for some reason. Who needs it.
Definitely ending after this paragraph so I can quit poker a winner. Jesus
Christ. I just saw four little what I'm assuming are ladybugs on my
blanket on my bed at once. What's going on. My freakin' windows are
closed. And I'm on the second floor! Bugs can't climb, that's
impossible. I'll see ya later.
Monday, May 1, 2017
The Only Month For Potential Pig Latin
Hello friends and whatnot. New
format. Same as the old format. One of the old formats. That's
how that goes. What's up and crap. Test on Wednesday. I
crunched the numbers and I can get a 50 and still pass the class even without
taking the final. And I already got +10. I got +5 because we played
Jeopordy last week and I got an answer right. +5 on this test. +5
for going over the vocab with him. So, basically, I just need to have the
vocab down good enough. Then, see you in Hell! He did add a sixth
test. But he drops the lowest grade. So who gives a fig about that.
Saw The New Pornographers last week. It was great!
My favorite part was the music. They played a lot of it. Crap and
crap, what else is crap. I read the headline of a Night Times article that
said Bernie might be a presidential candidate in 2020. At first I was
like, He's Old! But then I was like, He's Way Too Old!
Then, I was like, But what if he picks a good vice president. Then,
sure he's old, but we gotta back-up! The point is lets make it happen.
I already have a Bernie Sanders shirt so I'm kind of pot committed to the whole
thing. Anyway, crap and crap.
Third paragraph and whatnot. What's going on in the
wide world of sports. He could pick that young whippersnapper Elizabeth
Warren. She'll only be 80 in twelve years. If you were born on leap
day, do you have to wait until you're 140 to qualify for running for president.
Seems like it would be only fair. What if you were born in a culture that
starts counting you as 1 year old when you're born. I've raised more
questions than can be answered in this entry. And what about Benjamin
Button? Has anyone considered a Benjamin Button scenario for president?
What about a Jack scenario?
I hope we get a wheelchair nominee. His slogan can be
Let's Roll For Progress! Got it all figured out already. Is the
White House wheelchair accessible? Let's hope so, for all our sakes.
Crap and crap. I'm gonna say something that might be controversial, but,
I don't think Trump knows what he's doing. There, put it out there.
Debate amongst yourselves. At New Pornographers, they played The Fake
Headlines and referenced Trump as it being akin to what he says. I
made that connection already before the concert! Looks like I'm A+ #1
Yeesh. Crap and crap. I totally was able to see
the stage this time. I wouldn't lie to you. Not to your face.
I overdid it with the Ritalin, though. I have pretty much an unlimited
amount accumulated from skipping them sometimes, so I figured I'd just keep
poppin' em. Oh well, live and learn and whatnot. My brother doesn't
particularly like The Pixies. So I'm not seeing them. Whatta jip.
They make good music song sounds. I've crunched the numbers and
everything. What else is crap. It's May. Ixnay on the Maynay.
Mayday. Mayhem. Mayberhood.
If someone posts on Facebook in a few days May The Fourth
Be With You, I'm gonna go crazy. It wasn't the funny the first time.
It wasn't funny the second time. And, at this point, it just infuriates
me. I mean, great, the first time, good for you. I like puns and
funny dates. We've seen it, though. Let it be. Crap and crap.
If The Incredible Hulk is busy with his super hero friends fighting villains,
then he takes a valium, does he go to his friends, You Won't Like Me When I'm
Not Angry, and then he turns back into a regular person and shrugs his
shoulders. Can't do much to help anymore. Seems like something that
Yeesh. Crap and crap. Seventh paragraph.
Knockin' it out of the park. Also, I've been considering my calculations
for passing Environment as getting a 65 or better. I can not take any more
tests and get a 65 or better. I only need a 60! What am I wasting my
time for. Bullshit, that's what for. I've already learned this much.
Might as well see it through. Then take my Environment Certification Test
and be licensed to talk about the environment with people. Still no TV.
I have to watch non-HD movies on a TV without HD like a chump. Whatta
bullshit. I hate living relatively near airports. Every time a plane
passes, which is pretty much very constantly, I think, is this the time that
turns out to be an atomic bomb?
It makes that whooshing noise in the sky. Movies have
led me to believe that's the sound a bomb makes when its being dropped.
And movies wouldn't lie to me. Not to my face. Parody song for Cheap
Trick's Surrender. "Whatever." So I got that going for
me and what. Not. I'm pretty sure finding out that there will be a
crossover Unbreakable II and a Split II is a spoiler for Split. Haven't
figured it out yet, though. Unless the guy turns out to be Mr. Glass.
That doesn't seem right, though. Maybe about a 15% chance that's it.
Maybe he's just a bad guy and Bruce Willis fights him in addition to Mr. Glass.
Whatever, crap and crap.
And it turns out Unbreakable has been dead the whole time.
Anyway. I was gonna continue, but I don't wanna give away the endings of
other M Night movies. I figure everyone knows The Sixth Sense. I
also gave away Unbreakable. But that's your fault. Huh?
Crap and crap. Ninth paragraph. The surprise ending of The Sixth
Sense should have been that Haley Joel Osment was faking it the whole time just
to get attention. He can't really see dead people. That would
be crazy. Anyway, what the what and whatnot. I somehow cut myself
shaving with my electric razor. I didn't think it was possible, but
somehow life finds a way.
10th paragraph! What the what. I never heard of
such a thing. I got a therapist appointment tomorrow. That'll show 'em,
that'll show all of 'em. Oh. In addition to drinking at New
Pornographers, I also drank once by myself last week. Whatever. If
it's healthy for adult males to drink up to 2-3 drinks a day, I can drink 3-4
drinks once or twice a week, if I so choose.. Whose gonna stop me, you?
Whatever. I figured out I can have a nice solid processed sliced turkey
sandwich at a paltry 200 calories. Could be a game changer. I guess
I'm goin' for 20 paragraphs and whatnot. I got stuff to do, though.
I started watching Scarface. I can finish watching Scarface. You
see, he has a scar, and a face. Scar is on the face. Scarface.
Cracked that code. Scarface is essentially watching
someone play Grand Theft Auto. What else is crappening. Looks like I
got three more weeks of school for this semester. Counting this week.
And not counting my one final the week after. Crunched the numbers.
Apparently Al Pacino is in Scarface. Crunched. The. Numbers.
Why. What else. Sometimes I think about picking the
best of my songs from 2014-2015 and putting them together for one album of
relatively higher quality. Sometimes I think about not doing that.
Mainly those two things. Oh. Also, not thinking about it either way.
What else! I don't know. 12th paragraph.
What. Mayay reminds me of Yeyo. I learnt about it in Scarface.
I don't know. What else is crap. Maybe only 15 paragraphs.
Scarface isn't gonna watch itself. I hope not, at least. That would
be supernatural or something. Yeesh. Unless it's actually in the
movie. There's a scene with a TV in the background playing a previous
scene. I suppose that's possible. Anyway, what the what. The
Mick is still going on. I'm pretty sure after the first two or three
episodes, they got a note from the studio, NOTE-- MAKE EVERYONE GET
ALONG. Cracked that code.
13th paragraph! Maybe that's a future profession for
me. Guy who makes notes on things. I'll put that on the ixnay on the
may-be pile. I wonder what's going on in The Rap Game. I mean, it
still continues even without the TV show. You can't stop the rap game.
Is Miss Mulatto busy in the studio? Is King Roscoe mounting his own
independent rise to the top? The Rap Game never stops. Yeesh, what
else and crap. I'm the king of Roscoe/There is none higher...
That sort of bullshit. Before some of the Mets come up to hit, Citifield
plays Sureshot by The Beastie Boys. There's a line in that song
I got mad hits like I was Rod Carew. Cracked that code! I know
that line because I always liked it. The point is I have yet to find the
good version of Who Let The Mets Out? on Youtube. There are
apparently different versions. The one I like, which I can't find, just
adds on to one verse, unrhymed, ...And we got Benitez in the bullpen.
Wonderful. 14th paragraph. Maybe go for the 20
after all. Maybe not. May first of all. I don't know, what the
what. I wonder if The Baha Men feel remorseful for what they did.
What else is going on. I'm surprised more people don't fall off of upper
tiers of stadiums. Seems like it would be a relatively high number.
You know, like More Than Three? I don't have a lab due for another two
weeks. Only did part one so far, so not Wednesday. Pretty sure
there's no class the Wednesday after that. Could be wrong. The point
is Great. I don't know, what else and crap. The Starbucks in my
Science Building making you pour your own milk has honestly stopped me from
getting coffee. I'll get a soda. I don't wanna do work!
15th paragraph. I don't like watching the Met games
on ESPN. Their commentators are so smug. I'd like to wipe that smugness
right off their face, boy. Jeurys Familia. Familia means family in
some places. I looked it up. He had a domestic violence charged
against him. What unfortunate irony! Apparently there's a, "O," in
violence. I looked it up! Crap and crap, what the crap. His
wife dropped the charges, though. One can only imagine because Jeurys
said, "Drop the charges or I'll knock your block off!" Yeesh. What
else and crap. Does Jeurys Familia even know how to spell his name.
I'd keep forgetting, even if it was my name.
This is the last week of Playwriting where the professor is
gonna be there. The last two weeks, another professor takes over to sub.
I forget why. You know what that means. Only two more times the
Professor will ask me where's your guitar? even though I've told him
repeatedly I'm not doing that anymore. The point is great. I am
gonna have to finish one of these scenes into 10 pages and have it passable.
I can do that. Sure, why not. The point is great, what else and
crap. Got second half of Bacon Omelet for dinner tonight. Sure I'll
have some bacon. What else and crap.
17th paragraph. Four to go! Then, I get to listen
to the Grand Theft Auto III soundtrack while actors walk around and potentially
do stuff. What else is crap. I learnt its bad for the environment to
throw out old computers. Hold on to them until we figure out a way to
recycle them properly. So, the point is, I'm a hero for not throwing out
my old desktop computer. It doesn't work anymore, but I always felt, I
bet they can recover the hard drive, and all my great documents will be
salvaged! Anyway, what the what.
18th paragraph. That's cool. I've got hundreds of
pages of lyrics. Probably a few mp3s of songs I did that I lost.
What wonders to be had. Apparently we're in spring. Next comes
summer! Crunched the numbers! What else is bullshit. Gotta get
my electric guitar fixed. With the new set-up where I connect it to a
mini-amp instead of earphones, I could play guitar tracks over each other all
over the place! Not to mention I don't have to sit on the floor to do it.
I've got the 8 track on a desk and everything! Crap and crap.
Apparently my first summer class is 1:00-3:40. P.M. That's not so
bad. It's in the afternoon and everything.
Two paragraphs to go! Sweet. Apparently all
electronic waste goes to some village in China where they separate parts and
burn them and stuff the water is now made of acid. So they got that going
for them. But they're lining up to move to the village and take those
jobs, because they get a dollar fifty a day! Capitalism. What
else is Great. Apparently Trump wants to be friends with the dictator of
the Phillipines. He must have been thinking, Well, I haven't done
anything completely terrible and insane in about a week, about time. I
don't know what Trump thinks. If he thinks. He might just be in a
course of perpetual motion.
Anyway. 25? We'll see. We'll see.
Crap and crap. For fun, I was looking at potential jobs at movie theaters
around here. That's something I can do. I like concession stands and
whatnot. Place where you get tickets. Everyone's in a feel-good
mood. And you and the other workers are in a little movie club. It
would require work, though. And time. So it's not all positive
stuff. Also, movies are scary sometimes. We gotta face our fears,
though. I think so. Sounds like something we should gotta do.
If I was working the conccessions, I'd just whisper, on the down low, Look,
pay me 50% of what you would pay for this popcorn. I discretely pocket it.
Why can't I discretely pocket 100%? Because then
there would be a record of the transaction. Think, guys, think.
That's a good attitude going into considering a job. How can I work out
some scams. Anyway. The great part is, I get a job, I can
potentially move out! See ya later, parents! I'm off to bigger and
better things! 21st paragraph. Goin' for 25. Let's do it!
I can work the projector. Now I'm in charge! People
who run projectors show up in the closing credits of movies, right? Seems
like they would.
22nd paragraph. Hmm, still only 2:29. That's what
happens when class ends at noon. What else is it still only. It'll
be eight weeks of dieting at the end of this week. I project I'll be at
about 25 pounds lost at that point. See, already projecting. I
was made for this job! Crap and crap. Projecting is good if you
work at The Movies, but not good if you're doing it on other people. Let's
talk about it. Or, at the very least, not talk about it. Huh?
What else. If this is the 22nd paragraph, the next will be 23.
Crunched tha ####s. Apparently my second summer class is British
Romanticism. That's like The Spice Girls, right? Something like
that. Been losing in poker today. Not quite enough to get upset
That's the thesis statement of that paragraph. For
reasons and crap. 23rd? Wonderful. Why stop at 25. Just
keep goin. Get into a state of unconsidered perpetual motion like our
president. That's the way to go, friends. Anyway, yeesh and yeesh.
I don't wanna take a Literature & Politics class right in the first year of a
Trump presidency. Books like Clockwork Orange and 1984 are scary enough.
Now it'll only be amplified. Anyway, what the what. Amplified is
good if it's electric guitars, but not when it's scary topics. Also, if
you work at a theater, you gotta remember not to yell Fire! just because
you're inclined to. There's laws against it.
24th paragraph! I don't believe it. I don't know,
crap and crap. The good news is we got Familia in the bullpen.
That's where pitchers are kept. Smokers who bum cigarettes off me are
always impressed if they find out I have two different kinds of cigarettes.
Always very enthusiastic about it. So I got that going for me in those
situations. I got mad strikeouts like I was Pedro Martinez. What
else is going on and crap. Six paragraphs to go after this piece of blob.
I got that going for me. Yeesh. I don't know. I should stop at
We'll see where I'm at at the end of this paragraph.
Probably in the same place physically. Unless... Wha. What
else is going on. They should have some baseball games only four innings
to leave room for teacher conferences. I don't know. At this rate,
better stop after this paragraph. I saw a squirrel today, which isn't out
of the ordinary, and I thought, why are we sharing space with squirrels?
Why have we accepted that there just be squirrels around. Let's get rid of
'em, that's what I say.
I don't know. I'll do five more paragraphs.
That'll make me happy. Probably. It's gotta effect me some way or
another. Probably stop at a random paragraph before 30. This is the
26th. Crap and crap, let's get back on track. My perpetual motion
hasn't quite been perpetual. And not much motion. Probably gonna end
up in the same place physically. The point is I'm 0 for 2. I like
goin' into the city. Whattup peeps walkin' some place? yea me too see
27th paragraph. Crap and crap. Only 38 vocab
terms for this test. Last one was like 55. I can remember things,
sure. Probably. Fall Classes are Senior Seminal and African American
Lit post 1930. Boy I hope we get to read Invisible Man. I read that
crap before! My Teacher's favorite chapter was something to do with him
getting a job at a paint factory. Teacher was a big fan of paint.
I love this bit with the paint! What do you think it means!
That's the kind of quality learnin' I got at Stuyvesant high school.
28th paragraph. Three to go. Now I got We Got
Benitez In The Bullpen out of my mindarea. Whatta crap. I don't
know. Gonna have to write at least one scene for substitute play teacher.
He's gotta know I'm great and whatnot. He has no point of reference in
this class for knowing it already. So I got that thing I gotta do.
What else is things. Hey, I have Play Class tomorrow! I like that
bullshit. Then I got lab the next day. People in that class.
Then play class again! I like that bullshit. Then, four day
weekend. It's about time and whatnot. Every day is great in its
own way, is the point. Wednesdays are probably the worst day. There
may be people in Lab, but there's also Lab. And it's at least two hours.
On top of the hour and fifteen minutes the lecture was. And the hour and a
29th paragraph. I gotta get a new MetroCard
tomorrow. You know what that's like, right. Turns out this free
tuition stuff is a scam. You need to be full time. You can't have a
job. You need at least a 3.0 GPA. You need to be an organ donor.
Your eyes need to be brown. You have to be ambidextrous. Anyway,
crap and crap, entry is almost over. Not quite, though. So,
whatever. Crap and crap. Except I got to study to some degree
tonight and tomorrow. I'm usually kept waiting like 30 minutes lately to
get my blood done at Hospital, though. Can study some then.
Last paragraph. Why. Great. Gotta clean up
my desk. Rest of the room is still clean from time I cleaned it five or
six weeks ago. Desk it a little messy with ashes and crap around the
ashtray. Could clean it up in 2 minutes. So I got that going for me
and crap. Still got a whole lot of day left. Roughly an hour devoted
to studying. The rest is free time. What else. These entries
would be better if I just cut the entire last ten paragraphs. Don't even
sift through it for anything good. Just cut. Oh well, live and
learn. My 8 track is broken in that the input jack for headphones or
cables is broken. You stick the thing in, only goes in half way, doesn't
snap into place. Gotta hold it in just the right way for it to work.
Last paragraph. Huh? I just acknowledged these
deter from the quality of the entry! Yeah, but, also, shut up.
I'ma write another paragraph. Possibly because I don't wanna stop playing
poker just yet. And if I'm still sitting at my computer playing poker,
might as well keep writing paragraphs. I probably should quit playing
poker. There's a good chance if I keep playing I'll lose some more.
But there's also a good chance that shut up. Anyway, crap and crap.
If writing crazysheet accomplishes one thing, I hope it's that I get the
transitional phrase Crap and crap goin'. If it accomplishes two
things, I hope it's entertaining.
Debated whether to say funny or entertaining.
Entertaining is more broad. In the end, isn't that better? In the
end, wouldn't ending the entry be better? It'll end at some point.
There's no debating that. Crap and crap. A week or two I was down to
2 dollars in poker and was ready to re-deposit 25 dollars. Was able to
build it up to 35 dollars. And was able to build that down to around 20
dollars as of now. The point is I should play smart and not lose my
bankroll by playing above my means. But I should also play stupid and play
above my means because it's more entertaining. Lots of things to consider.
33rd paragraph. Crap and crap. The good news is
we still have Benitez in the bullpen. Wait, no we don't! That
song from 17 years ago lied to me! It's message was supposed to be a
perpetual motion machine of correctly identifying the Mets roster in rhyme!
Now it's all no good anymore. Why. I don't know. Movieworld
Douglaston is still open. I thought they were supposed to close in April.
Guess not. That movie The Circle looks interesting. It's about the
bad side of social media and how it can turn horrific. So, like,
spoilers, right? It's about someone posting spoilers to a movie?
I'm scared. It's subplot is about people saying
May The Fourth Be With You. And it's tertiary plot is playing the
soundtrack from Grand Theft Auto III. Two paragraphs to go.
Probably. I don't know. I've continually surprised myself by
refusing to stop writing. However, we've already established how Scarface
most likely isn't going to be able to watch itself. So I really have to
consider that. Are there people who are successful in living their life
with absolutely zero social media?? How would they know what puns on the
date people are making, though??
These are the days of my lives. Back in my day, the
only real social media most people used was Facebook! Now we got Twitter.
Snapchat. Instagram. A fourth thing. They should make
Uber social media. I wanna be friends with taxi drivers! Seems
pretty straight forward to me. I'm on Twitter. That's the only non-Facebook
one I do. And, when they invent it, UberFriends. It's only a matter
of time, people. Matter of time? Seems like
dimension-synesthesia. Sure does seem like it. 35th paragraph.
I don't know. I'm an idiot. That's pretty well
established at this point. Anyway. I don't know. I was able to
get to the concert early enough to see all of New Pornographers. That's
pretty good. I sang along for some parts of some songs, but only times I
was pretty sure other people were, too. Then I realized the band has 20
singers, and that might have been what I was hearing. Let's hope not.
I don't want to have ruined the experience for other people around me.
That would be a net negative. I didn't sing loud. Just loud enough
for me to hear myself. And for people around me to hear myself.
37th paragraph. Let's keep rollin' with it. I'm
starting to get physically tired from writing this entry. Except not
physically, really. Mentally. The opposite of physically. But
I feel the mentally tired in my head. Which is a physical thing. So,
that's a thing, and crap. Some channel was having a marathon of movies
with Denzel Washington and Trains. I only caught the last two, but one
would imagine there were several before those. Anyway, jeez. I liked
playin with my train set as a kid. Little wooden connector pieces and
crap. I would use these blocks I had to make rises and falls for the train
track So part of it is bridges and stuff. A+ #1 imaginative kid.
38th paragraph. That's alotta paragraph. Well,
this successively has killed too much time. And there's still three
paragraphs to go! What in the world. I ate a street dog while
waiting for New Pornographers. Not as good as I remembered. Probably
lower quality these days. Somehow. Sometimes I like turning on The
Exorcist: The Movie on TV and then quickly turning it off before anything
happens. It gives me a real thrill. I never liked the title of that
movie. It's more about the girl than the priest. It should be called
The Exorcistee. That's how I feel about things.
Two paragraphs to go. Finally. Wonderful.
There is some stuff about The Exorcist. I guess. These are the days
of my lives. Anyway, crap and crap. There must still be something I
can think of saying. Two paragraphs worth and whatnot. Getting up at
9 o' clock is the pits. And tomorrow I gotta get up before 830.
Therapist and blood work. Whatta jip. All I can say is, the
therapist better be enthusiastic about my weight loss. I do it all
for the enthusiasm from people who are generally too enthusiastic about my
little progress in the first place.
Finally. Last paragraph. For real. And
there's still a bunch of day left. If I had my other class today, I'd have just
gotten home. And had Environment the next day. Now I got Playwriting
next day! Everything's comin' up Mikey. Anyway, what the what.
Made up most of poker money I lost. Still sittin' at table, though, so
it's in flux. Anyway, crap and crap. I'll give 20 dollars to anyone
who read this entire entry and can answer questions based on it in a test I will
administer should it ever be invoked. Probably. I got money to burn,
I only lost five dollars today. Jeez. I still feel like writing.
Okay, last paragraph. Definitely. I have to stop
for health reasons. I'm goin' livin la vida loca. That's the first
song I ever remember seeing a music video for. It was all the rage in 1999
or 2000. Who can remember for sure. Ben Folds has a show upstate or
New Jersey or something. Maybe it was Connecticut. The point is he's
a real chump for not playing a show in the city. Real chump move.
Anyway, what else. I don't know. I can do an open mic. A music
open mic. I have a guitar and everything. The point is great.
One more paragraph. 42 is a good number. It's from that book that
people like but I never read.
The point is I will think of and enact penalties for myself
if I don't end the entry after this paragraph. Hey, man, you can, like,
write as long as you want, and the end of the entry'll still be, like, after
this paragraph. Get off my website you piece of crap. Anyway,
what the what. Apparently Trump is anti-Civil War. I knew he was
against Unions, but this is ridiculous! Nailed it. I don't know.
Bacon Omelet was crap. I was imagining an omelet with strips of bacon next
to it. Turns out it's little pieces of bacon in the omelet. I
shoulda known. Who wants little pieces of bacon. Unless they're
baconbites. Then, sure, I get it. The point is see ya later!