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Sunday, July 30, 2017

July Still

    What the whatness.  Gonna fit in a second entry for July.  It deserves it.  On account of being a month and all.  That's how that goes.  What's up in Life.  Playin' poker.  That sort of crap.  Open Mic tomorrow.  That's fun and crap.  Goofballs, eh?  That's what I should do now?  Alright, let's see.  Saw an old friend yesterday.  She's 88 years old.  No, not that kind of old!  Old as in she was my friend in the distant past!  Goofballzzz.  Whatta waste of our collective time.  Unless this entry leads to real goofballs.  Then it's all worth it in the end.
    Arranged my songs into 4 or 5 10 song albums.  Maybe I'll change my online catalogue into that order.  Maybe not.  It all depends on if I care enough or not.  And then the question is, put it at michaelkornblum.bandcamp.com or theuppers.bandcamp.com.  It's a tough decision.  I feel like it's time to go by Michael Kornblum, but if I'm telling people in Real Life where to find my songs, The Uppers is both easier to remember and easier to spell.  Decisions Decisions.  That's the name of one of the albums.  No it isn't.  It could be, though.  But it won't be.  Because whatever.
    Third paragraph!  Alright!  So many great Phrases out there.  How do I choose for Album Titles.  Anyway, crap and crap.  I might get the guy who wants 2 dollars 50 cents for each track to master 8 of the 10 songs for Primary Album.  20 dollars.  And I know he won't rip me off because I'll tell him if I like it, there's more where that came from.  Seems like a good way to go about things.  Anyway, crap and crap.  It turns out I'm not as bad at Guitar as I always assumed.  I've got a feel for it to some degree.  Decisions Decisions.  That doesn't apply!  Sure is a Phrase, though. 
    Fourth paragraph.  Anyway.  I bought a bottle of Vodka the day before I decided to mostly quit drinking.  Almost done with it, 5 months later.  I feel like that's pretty good.  Anyway, crap and crap.  I don't know.  Had some weird nightmares last night that I don't remember.  The good news is that I Woke Up.  Anyway.  What the what.  Just went 15 minutes without typing.  That's alotta minutes.  Crap and crap, I'm committed to writing an entry right now.  Anyway.  What song(s) to play Monday night.  I've got it narrowed down to 2 mostly.  70% it's one of 'em, 20% its another, 8% it's a third, 2% it's any other.  Math'd it up.  Crap and crap.  Saw Endocrinologist yesterday.  She took some blood tests and hopefully I have Endocrine.  Anyway.  They took my weight and I haven't lost anything in 8 weeks despite dieting.  But she was really happy about what I did lose, and that was infectious, so I wasn't too disappointed.  Also, I look in the mirror, I might not have lost pounds, but I'm pretty sure I re-arranged them in a positive way. 
    That was a long paragraph.  I don't believe it.  Keep tellin' myself I'll start exercising but so far I haven't.  What the what.  Fifth paragraph.  Wonderin' what I'm gonna do when I graduate.  It's a real mystery and whatnot.  Oughtta shave today.  That would be a real Adult move.  Crap and crap.  Good chance the Mets'll make a trade or two by tomorrow.  Trades are great.  Anyway, not sure why I bothered saying that.  There was the potential I'd think of some funnybones out of it when I set up the premise.  Turned out I couldn't, but that shouldn't stop me from trying!
    Sixth paragraph.  Jeez.  I only have 4 more weeks I can go to this Monday Open Mic.  Then I have class while it's going on.  Gotta mix it up to a different one.  Great.  What else.  Could always stop writing now and start up again later today.  That sounds like a pretty good way to go about things.  Sweet.  You'd think, you're arranging the top 20% of 200 songs into 4 10 song albums, you'd arrange them by song quality.  Nope.  Second thing you'd think, you arrange them in a way that it musically progresses well.  Nope.  The answer is you arrange them so the Titles look good in their respective order.  Cracked that code.  That way people could have fun reading your track listing even without listening to the songs.
    Seventh paragraph.  Take a break after this one.  Alright!  What else.  I think my songs sound better coming from a phone or computer speaker rather than earphones.  That's how I feel.  Jeez.  What else is crap.  I mucked up 2 weeks ago last Open Mic.  The bartender, I ordered like 4 drinks, and she was only gonna charge me for 2.  Because she wanted to be nice.  And I ended up only giving her a tip for the 2.  I didn't think hard enough.  Whatta chump I was.  Tomorrow I'll give her a bigger tip and remind her what had happened and then were square.
    Anyway, one more paragraph before I stop for the moment.  What else is going on.  I can't remind her that.  If I remind her before I start drinking, it's like I expet her to do it again.  If I remind her after, then she goes the whole night spitting in my beer.  I switched to Corona from Bud Light because Bud Light started tasting like piss to me.  They put a lime in the spout of the Corona bottle.  What am I supposed to do with that?  Suck it?  Squeeze the juice into the drink?  I'm no good with props.  Anyway, what the what.  I'll take a break now.
    Eh.  Took half an hour break and got bored.  Already at ninth paragraph, might as well finish it up.  Maybe aim for 15 paragraphs.  That's a good number.  Putin expelled diplomats from Russia.  They gotta be happy about that.  Three Day Weekend!  Alright!  Still the ninth paragraph.  That's bad news.  Don't have to get to 15 paragraphs.  That was just a starting off point.  Got part III of a Fish Dinner to finish tonight.  Great, just great.  What else.  Some people in Seattle at The Met Game are trying to get a "Hey Ho, Let's Go," chant going on.  Forget it Jake, It's Ramonestown.  Jeez.  Paragraphs.
    10th paragraph!  Is calling a neighborhood in a city Chinatown insensitive?  How would I like it if people called where I lived Jewville.  I'd be confused.  Most people in my neighborhood are Asian.  What else is going on.  Crap and crap.  Gotta write a 5 page paper by the end of the week after this week.  I can do that.  Bullshit it all over the place.  Get my Midterm back tomorrow.  I could see getting anywhere from a 65 to a 100.  It's all up to the Professor.  I hate me some Lord Byron.  Thinks he's so great.  Uses it as a crutch.  Whatta jerk.  Hey I'm Great I'ma Make That My Persona.  Not a fan.
    11th paragraph.  Part of it is because I see some of myself in Lord Byron.  Just think very highly of yourself and that it's all about you and that you're the cleverist and make that your thing.  Not a fan.  What else is crap.  Also, do we have to call him Lord Byron?  We don't live in an era where we hold Lords in high esteem.  What else.  If I was A-Rod or Giancarlo Stanton I'd just get 5 of us together, draw straws, and one person leaves with 2 billion dollars.  Maybe leave it so that if you lose you keep 10 or 20 million.  Mix things up and whatnot.
    12th paragraph.  Mets playing the Mariners.  My first favorite baseball team.  Because of Ken Griffey Presents Major League Baseball The Game The Video Game.  Anyway.  Joey Cora gonna lead it off, let's mix it up.  Huh.  If I had 300 million dollars I'd play high stakes poker.  Seems like there's a few dozen players who play very high stakes online.  There's a bunch of millionaires out there!  Just go for it!  Anyway.  That's how I feel about things.  What paragraph is it.  12th.  Three more to go after this.  That's not too bad.
    Anyway.  Penultimate to the Penultimate.  Whatever.  There's gonna be a Cop and a Half II!  But no Burt Reynolds, no Same Kid, no Henry Winkler directing it.  So all in all, not too excited about it.  But the original, boy, what a movie.  I'm a fan.  Unless if it turns out Lord Byron wrote it.  Then, I see it in a whole different context, and I hate it.  What else.  Cop and a half, huh?  That's 1.5 cops.  I did the math and everything.  What else.   
    2 paragraphs to go.  Let's get on it.  What else.  Almost done with Poetry.  See you in Hell poetry.  They be blasphemous and stuff, stands to reason poetryists is in Hell.  Jeez.  If you're a baseball player with 300 million dollars, you should buy the stadium.  Now you're in control.  Anyway, what the what.  I think I read that 4 out of 5 professional sports players blow their money by five years after they retire.  They don't have the business sense that Bernie Mac had in Mr. 3000.  Oh well, live and learn I guess.
    Last paragraph!  Alright!  What else.  Fish isn't so bad.  It's alright.  Anyway, crap and crap.  May or may not ask person who runs the open mic if they could book me for my own show.  Pretty sure they'd say yes.  Better than having No Show, right?  There's a possibility I'd bring upwards of one person out to drink their drinks and eat their appetizers.  That's a net win!  Except for how they need to pay someone to run it soundwise and whatnot.  That's a net loss!  Oh No!  Well, there goes that.  I'll see ya later.

-5:12 P.M.


Wednesday, July 26, 2017

July, Huh?  I'll Believe It When I See It

    You can't see time.  Probably not.  Maybe you can.  Good for you!  Anyway, been a month since last entry.  So much has changed.  In particular, the month.  How about that crap.  Anyway, let's get into some goofballs and funny bones.  I need to title the top of the website phrase.  Hmm.  Is "July, Huh?  I'll Believe It When I See It," taken?  Just my luck.  I can't use one title because I already titled some other title with it.  That's my life in a nutshell, it is.  Finished Literature & Politics course.  Got an A!  Taking British Romantacism now.  Haven't gotten my grade yet!  Anyway.
    It's pretty interesting stuff.  Apparently there were these guys and they wrote poetry for some reason.  I can't quite figure out why.  Maybe their poems have clues in them.  Like a Da Vinci Code Scenario.  Clues to Why Bother With Poetry.  Cause I can't figure it out.  Been doing Open Mics.  That's fun and a half.  Found some NYU student to do free mastering of four of my recorded songs.  Sounded awesome!  He wants money to do additional songs, though.  Money.  My one weakness!  In terms of Not Having It. 
    Jeez.  Third paragraph.  I can't believe it.  I've been wanting to do an entry the last couple of days but was worried it would be hard to get into a groove.  Now I remember.  I remember that it's all bullshit so that's pretty easy and whatnot.  Inching ever further towards graduation.  Then I can take Grad School!  Shouldn't you have to go to Grad School before you graduate?  That's how you know how to graduate.  I could be getting some of the details wrong.  Anyway.  If I can get an MFA in creative writing through some sort of, "Free Ride" program, that's something I'll consider.  Considering money is my one weakness, that's a key determinant. 
    I think the main influence Trump has had on our culture is the ever increasing use of putting words in quotations where they don't really have to be.  I see it all the time on social media now.  Maybe it started out in an ironic way, but now it's pretty much standard.  Oh well, live and, "learn."  That'll show 'em.  I wonder how Trump would use Italics, Bold, and Underlining if Twitter allowed them.  Probably use all of them in each Tweet, and using both a lot, and using all three very liberally, too, compared to what should be expected.  Anyway, crap and crap.
    What the what.  Fifth paragraph.  If we're gonna psychologically analyze the prevalent use of quotation marks when they're not applicable, I think you see a man who is not very confident in what he's saying.  Like he knows it's bullshit and crap.  Looks like I found some common ground with Trump.  Except he imagines we don't know his crap is bullshit.  I'm up front about it and whatnot.  Also, Not President.  That's a Key Distinction To Make.  What the what.  What else is going on.  Maybe Trump wouldn't use underlining.  That's for fancy East Coast Liberals who have logical points to make and whatnot.  Not in my "Country!"
Yeesh.  Sixth paragraph.  How bout them poets.  What with their poetry and whatnot.  Good for them.  Anyway, crap and crap.  Who knows how long this entry'll be.  Who is pretty smart.  Jeez.  Health Care is in danger.  Have you heard about this.  I wonder what it would be like if Jack Nicholson was repealing Health Care.  It might sound a little something like this...  Huh?  What happened.  Where am I.  Sixth paragraph.  Oh okay got it.  If everything is in quotations, what's real anymore.  Trump is just a nihilist or skeptic or some philosophical thing.  Good for him! 
    Seventh paragraph.  I ate a bagel for lunch today.  That'll show 'em.  Only two more weeks to British Romanticism.  Great.  I was thinking about it, and I have only a little bit more than a year left before I'm in my 30's.  What kind of crap is that.  That doesn't sound good at all.  30's is middle aged practically!  You're 39, sorry to break it to you, you're middle aged.  Also, what else is going on.  Stupid Youth, passing by so fast.  Where does Youth get off.  Apparently around age 39.  Jeez.  It's apparent because I said it.  How about that.  Got some money on poker after a few weeks without it.  Maybe this is the time I play responsibly and keep it goin'.  Who can say for sure.  It's not like we can see time.  Apparently.  I said it, must mean it's true!
    Eighth paragraph!  Cool!  What the what.  Still dieting, but haven't checked my weight in a while.  Why disappoint myself.  Trump loves dis-appointing people.  I read about it in news.  Or he wants to, or something.  Who knows for sure.  Maybe Trump loves disappointing people.  That would explain a lot.  Anyway.  I wonder if Trump calls his dick, "Trump Tower."  I wonder.  Jeez.  Ten paragraphs is within sight.  How many times do I have to tell you, you can't see time!  Jeez.  A couple seconds, maybe.  Nothin' further!
    Ninth paragraph and whatnot.  How about that.  Have a Burrito Bowl from Chiptole for dinner tonight.  That's good news and crap.  I don't know.  Went to the Dentist yesterday.  I wonder how Lefty Dentists deal.  The whole layout of the Dentist Room (Or, "Office," if you will) is so that the dentist or dental hygienist can come at your mouth from an angle suiting their right hand.  I demand answers!  Crap and crap.  I don't get how doctors decide what field to go into.  Hmm, I'll be a doctor, that's for sure... think I'll be a dentist.  Dentists are doctors.  Why make that choice.  Anyway.  And if Dentists Aren't Doctors, just imagine I made that riff about cardiologists or something.
    Crap and crap.  Tenth paragraph.  I don't like having class from 10 AM to 11:30 AM.  Too much Day Time afterward.  Not a fan.  Having someone master your tracks is the ultimate anti-scam.  Hmm, he just made it so it would sound good to me so I'd pay him for it.  Scams sound good to you, so you commit to giving money.  He's making something sound good to you so you'll give him money.  Not fallin' for that one!  Not sure if that riff made sense.  Makes sense to me.  Oh well, live and learn.  Maybe go for 15 paragraphs or so today.  Sounds about right and whatnot.  Or stop now.  Probably not, though.
    Five to go!  Alright!  What else.  It is a scam because I just want to believe that my own crap sounds good to other people now.  Whatta scam.  Anyway, jeez.  Maybe stop after this paragraph.  Seems about right.  Saw Tim and Eric a week and a half ago!  They sure did their thing and whatnot.  Alright, great.  Let's see, conclusion, conclusion.  What the what.  Whatever.  I'll see ya later.

-2:01 P.M.