Sunday, July 30, 2017
What the whatness. Gonna fit in a
second entry for July. It deserves it. On account of being a month
and all. That's how that goes. What's up in Life. Playin'
poker. That sort of crap. Open Mic tomorrow. That's fun and
crap. Goofballs, eh? That's what I should do now?
Alright, let's see. Saw an old friend yesterday. She's 88 years
old. No, not that kind of old! Old as in she was my friend in
the distant past! Goofballzzz. Whatta waste of our collective
time. Unless this entry leads to real goofballs. Then it's
all worth it in the end.
Arranged my songs into 4 or 5 10 song albums. Maybe
I'll change my online catalogue into that order. Maybe not. It all
depends on if I care enough or not. And then the question is, put it at
michaelkornblum.bandcamp.com or theuppers.bandcamp.com. It's a tough
decision. I feel like it's time to go by Michael Kornblum, but if I'm
telling people in Real Life where to find my songs, The Uppers is both easier to
remember and easier to spell. Decisions Decisions. That's the
name of one of the albums. No it isn't. It could be, though.
But it won't be. Because whatever.
Third paragraph! Alright! So many great
Phrases out there. How do I choose for Album Titles. Anyway, crap
and crap. I might get the guy who wants 2 dollars 50 cents for each track
to master 8 of the 10 songs for Primary Album. 20 dollars. And I
know he won't rip me off because I'll tell him if I like it, there's more where
that came from. Seems like a good way to go about things. Anyway,
crap and crap. It turns out I'm not as bad at Guitar as I always assumed.
I've got a feel for it to some degree. Decisions Decisions.
That doesn't apply! Sure is a Phrase, though.
Fourth paragraph. Anyway. I bought a bottle of
Vodka the day before I decided to mostly quit drinking. Almost done with
it, 5 months later. I feel like that's pretty good. Anyway, crap and
crap. I don't know. Had some weird nightmares last night that I
don't remember. The good news is that I Woke Up. Anyway. What
the what. Just went 15 minutes without typing. That's alotta
minutes. Crap and crap, I'm committed to writing an entry right now.
Anyway. What song(s) to play Monday night. I've got it narrowed down
to 2 mostly. 70% it's one of 'em, 20% its another, 8% it's a third, 2%
it's any other. Math'd it up. Crap and crap. Saw
Endocrinologist yesterday. She took some blood tests and hopefully I have
Endocrine. Anyway. They took my weight and I haven't lost anything
in 8 weeks despite dieting. But she was really happy about what I did
lose, and that was infectious, so I wasn't too disappointed. Also, I look
in the mirror, I might not have lost pounds, but I'm pretty sure I re-arranged
them in a positive way.
That was a long paragraph. I don't believe it.
Keep tellin' myself I'll start exercising but so far I haven't. What the
what. Fifth paragraph. Wonderin' what I'm gonna do when I graduate.
It's a real mystery and whatnot. Oughtta shave today. That would be
a real Adult move. Crap and crap. Good chance the Mets'll make a
trade or two by tomorrow. Trades are great. Anyway, not sure why I
bothered saying that. There was the potential I'd think of some funnybones
out of it when I set up the premise. Turned out I couldn't, but that
shouldn't stop me from trying!
Sixth paragraph. Jeez. I only have 4 more weeks I
can go to this Monday Open Mic. Then I have class while it's going on.
Gotta mix it up to a different one. Great. What else. Could
always stop writing now and start up again later today. That sounds like a
pretty good way to go about things. Sweet. You'd think, you're
arranging the top 20% of 200 songs into 4 10 song albums, you'd arrange them by
song quality. Nope. Second thing you'd think, you arrange them in a
way that it musically progresses well. Nope. The answer is you
arrange them so the Titles look good in their respective order. Cracked
that code. That way people could have fun reading your track listing even
without listening to the songs.
Seventh paragraph. Take a break after this one.
Alright! What else. I think my songs sound better coming from a
phone or computer speaker rather than earphones. That's how I feel.
Jeez. What else is crap. I mucked up 2 weeks ago last Open Mic.
The bartender, I ordered like 4 drinks, and she was only gonna charge me for 2.
Because she wanted to be nice. And I ended up only giving her a tip for
the 2. I didn't think hard enough. Whatta chump I was.
Tomorrow I'll give her a bigger tip and remind her what had happened and then
Anyway, one more paragraph before I stop for the moment.
What else is going on. I can't remind her that. If I remind her
before I start drinking, it's like I expet her to do it again. If I remind
her after, then she goes the whole night spitting in my beer. I switched
to Corona from Bud Light because Bud Light started tasting like piss to me.
They put a lime in the spout of the Corona bottle. What am I supposed to
do with that? Suck it? Squeeze the juice into the drink? I'm
no good with props. Anyway, what the what. I'll take a break now.
Eh. Took half an hour break and got bored.
Already at ninth paragraph, might as well finish it up. Maybe aim for 15
paragraphs. That's a good number. Putin expelled diplomats from
Russia. They gotta be happy about that. Three Day Weekend!
Alright! Still the ninth paragraph. That's bad news. Don't
have to get to 15 paragraphs. That was just a starting off point.
Got part III of a Fish Dinner to finish tonight. Great, just great.
What else. Some people in Seattle at The Met Game are trying to get a "Hey
Ho, Let's Go," chant going on. Forget it Jake, It's Ramonestown.
10th paragraph! Is calling a neighborhood in a city
Chinatown insensitive? How would I like it if people called where I
lived Jewville. I'd be confused. Most people in my
neighborhood are Asian. What else is going on. Crap and crap.
Gotta write a 5 page paper by the end of the week after this week. I can
do that. Bullshit it all over the place. Get my Midterm back
tomorrow. I could see getting anywhere from a 65 to a 100. It's all
up to the Professor. I hate me some Lord Byron. Thinks he's so
great. Uses it as a crutch. Whatta jerk. Hey I'm Great I'ma
Make That My Persona. Not a fan.
11th paragraph. Part of it is because I see some of
myself in Lord Byron. Just think very highly of yourself and that it's all
about you and that you're the cleverist and make that your thing. Not a
fan. What else is crap. Also, do we have to call him Lord Byron?
We don't live in an era where we hold Lords in high esteem. What else.
If I was A-Rod or Giancarlo Stanton I'd just get 5 of us together, draw straws,
and one person leaves with 2 billion dollars. Maybe leave it so that if
you lose you keep 10 or 20 million. Mix things up and whatnot.
12th paragraph. Mets playing the Mariners. My
first favorite baseball team. Because of Ken Griffey Presents Major League
Baseball The Game The Video Game. Anyway. Joey Cora gonna lead it
off, let's mix it up. Huh. If I had 300 million dollars I'd play
high stakes poker. Seems like there's a few dozen players who play very
high stakes online. There's a bunch of millionaires out there! Just
go for it! Anyway. That's how I feel about things. What
paragraph is it. 12th. Three more to go after this. That's not
Anyway. Penultimate to the Penultimate. Whatever.
There's gonna be a Cop and a Half II! But no Burt Reynolds, no Same Kid,
no Henry Winkler directing it. So all in all, not too excited about it.
But the original, boy, what a movie. I'm a fan. Unless if it turns
out Lord Byron wrote it. Then, I see it in a whole different context, and
I hate it. What else. Cop and a half, huh? That's 1.5 cops.
I did the math and everything. What else.
2 paragraphs to go. Let's get on it. What else.
Almost done with Poetry. See you in Hell poetry. They be
blasphemous and stuff, stands to reason poetryists is in Hell. Jeez.
If you're a baseball player with 300 million dollars, you should buy the
stadium. Now you're in control. Anyway, what the what. I think
I read that 4 out of 5 professional sports players blow their money by five
years after they retire. They don't have the business sense that Bernie
Mac had in Mr. 3000. Oh well, live and learn I guess.
Last paragraph! Alright! What else. Fish
isn't so bad. It's alright. Anyway, crap and crap. May or may
not ask person who runs the open mic if they could book me for my own show.
Pretty sure they'd say yes. Better than having No Show, right?
There's a possibility I'd bring upwards of one person out to drink their drinks
and eat their appetizers. That's a net win! Except for how they
need to pay someone to run it soundwise and whatnot. That's a net
loss! Oh No! Well, there goes that. I'll see ya later.
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
July, Huh? I'll Believe It When I See It
You can't see time. Probably not.
Maybe you can. Good for you! Anyway, been a month since last entry.
So much has changed. In particular, the month. How about that crap.
Anyway, let's get into some goofballs and funny bones. I need to title the
top of the website phrase. Hmm. Is "July, Huh? I'll Believe
It When I See It," taken? Just my luck. I can't use one title
because I already titled some other title with it. That's my life in a
nutshell, it is. Finished Literature & Politics course. Got an A!
Taking British Romantacism now. Haven't gotten my grade yet! Anyway.
It's pretty interesting stuff. Apparently there were
these guys and they wrote poetry for some reason. I can't quite figure out
why. Maybe their poems have clues in them. Like a Da Vinci Code
Scenario. Clues to Why Bother With Poetry. Cause I can't figure it
out. Been doing Open Mics. That's fun and a half. Found some
NYU student to do free mastering of four of my recorded songs. Sounded
awesome! He wants money to do additional songs, though. Money.
My one weakness! In terms of Not Having It.
Jeez. Third paragraph. I can't believe it.
I've been wanting to do an entry the last couple of days but was worried it
would be hard to get into a groove. Now I remember. I remember that
it's all bullshit so that's pretty easy and whatnot. Inching ever further
towards graduation. Then I can take Grad School! Shouldn't you have
to go to Grad School before you graduate? That's how you know how
to graduate. I could be getting some of the details wrong. Anyway.
If I can get an MFA in creative writing through some sort of, "Free Ride"
program, that's something I'll consider. Considering money is my one
weakness, that's a key determinant.
I think the main influence Trump has had on our culture is
the ever increasing use of putting words in quotations where they don't really
have to be. I see it all the time on social media now. Maybe it
started out in an ironic way, but now it's pretty much standard. Oh well,
live and, "learn." That'll show 'em. I wonder how Trump would
use Italics, Bold, and Underlining if Twitter allowed them. Probably use
all of them in each Tweet, and using both a lot, and using all three very
liberally, too, compared to what should be expected. Anyway, crap and
What the what. Fifth paragraph. If we're gonna
psychologically analyze the prevalent use of quotation marks when they're not
applicable, I think you see a man who is not very confident in what he's saying.
Like he knows it's bullshit and crap. Looks like I found some common
ground with Trump. Except he imagines we don't know his crap is
bullshit. I'm up front about it and whatnot. Also, Not
President. That's a Key Distinction To Make. What the
what. What else is going on. Maybe Trump wouldn't use underlining.
That's for fancy East Coast Liberals who have logical points to make and
whatnot. Not in my "Country!"
Yeesh. Sixth paragraph. How bout them
poets. What with their poetry and whatnot. Good for them.
Anyway, crap and crap. Who knows how long this entry'll be. Who is
pretty smart. Jeez. Health Care is in danger. Have you heard
about this. I wonder what it would be like if Jack Nicholson was
repealing Health Care. It might sound a little something like
this... Huh? What happened. Where am I.
Sixth paragraph. Oh okay got it. If everything is in quotations,
what's real anymore. Trump is just a nihilist or skeptic or some
philosophical thing. Good for him!
Seventh paragraph. I ate a bagel for lunch today.
That'll show 'em. Only two more weeks to British Romanticism. Great.
I was thinking about it, and I have only a little bit more than a year left
before I'm in my 30's. What kind of crap is that. That doesn't sound
good at all. 30's is middle aged practically! You're 39, sorry to
break it to you, you're middle aged. Also, what else is going on.
Stupid Youth, passing by so fast. Where does Youth get off.
Apparently around age 39. Jeez. It's apparent because I said it.
How about that. Got some money on poker after a few weeks without it.
Maybe this is the time I play responsibly and keep it goin'. Who can say
for sure. It's not like we can see time. Apparently.
I said it, must mean it's true!
Eighth paragraph! Cool! What the what.
Still dieting, but haven't checked my weight in a while. Why disappoint
myself. Trump loves dis-appointing people. I read about it in
news. Or he wants to, or something. Who knows for sure.
Maybe Trump loves disappointing people. That would explain a lot.
Anyway. I wonder if Trump calls his dick, "Trump Tower." I
wonder. Jeez. Ten paragraphs is within sight. How many
times do I have to tell you, you can't see time! Jeez.
A couple seconds, maybe. Nothin' further!
Ninth paragraph and whatnot. How about that. Have
a Burrito Bowl from Chiptole for dinner tonight. That's good news and
crap. I don't know. Went to the Dentist yesterday. I wonder
how Lefty Dentists deal. The whole layout of the Dentist Room (Or,
"Office," if you will) is so that the dentist or dental hygienist can come at
your mouth from an angle suiting their right hand. I demand answers!
Crap and crap. I don't get how doctors decide what field to go into.
Hmm, I'll be a doctor, that's for sure... think I'll be a dentist.
Dentists are doctors. Why make that choice. Anyway. And if
Dentists Aren't Doctors, just imagine I made that riff about cardiologists or
Crap and crap. Tenth paragraph. I don't like
having class from 10 AM to 11:30 AM. Too much Day Time afterward.
Not a fan. Having someone master your tracks is the ultimate anti-scam.
Hmm, he just made it so it would sound good to me so I'd pay him for it.
Scams sound good to you, so you commit to giving money. He's making
something sound good to you so you'll give him money. Not fallin' for
that one! Not sure if that riff made sense. Makes sense to me.
Oh well, live and learn. Maybe go for 15 paragraphs or so today.
Sounds about right and whatnot. Or stop now. Probably not, though.
Five to go! Alright! What else. It is a
scam because I just want to believe that my own crap sounds good to other
people now. Whatta scam. Anyway, jeez. Maybe stop after this
paragraph. Seems about right. Saw Tim and Eric a week and a half
ago! They sure did their thing and whatnot. Alright, great.
Let's see, conclusion, conclusion. What the what. Whatever.
I'll see ya later.