Monday, December 23, 2019

I Have To Go To The Dentist Later.  I Hope He Lets Me Kill Time In The Waiting Room While He's Closing Up With The Person Who Came Before Me.
   
 So, what else is crap?  The only way you can convince me that White Nationalists are actually just playing, "The Circle Game," is if you told me The Circle Game is just them signaling to each other how they all masturbate the same way with their thumb and pointer because that's how small their dick are.  Hah.  I BURNED a group of TERRIBLE PEOPLE who deserve much more than being BURNED but oh well that's all I can do as one individual.  What if a woman is playing The Circle game? Pinching between thumb and pointer finger together to Show off how big her clit is.  Or vagina.  I don't have all the details on the woman body!  I only have about 30-40% answers on a basic introductory review of How Is Women Different Than Man anatomically.  I know they have a second butt on the other side where our junk is.  That's about all I'm comfortable saying at this moment..
    All I know is that men circle, women pinch.  That's one of only 4 or 5 main life lessons I've accumulated over the years.  Anyway.  I get that we shouldn't eat right before the dentist, and we shod brush our teeth either way just before especially if we've eaten... what's the policy on drinking alcohol before hand?  I mean they're not gonna go to the authorities, I know that much.  There's no crime there!  But are they gonna be like Hmm who gets fucked up to go to he dentist something wrong with you boy.  Hey!  I didn't get fucked up to go to the dentist.  I went to the dentist fucked up because I constantly be getting fucked up!  And then you showed up... NOT MY PROBLEM.
    Cool!   

Lets Only Write Crazy Titles! 

    Cool!  Just got back from Dr. Dentist and Nurse Dental Hygienist.  Whenever she was drilling into my teeth with Hygiene Drill, I would go, Hey my eyes are up here!  Drill Tem Eyes, I've been a bad boy!  Anyway, first thing she said when she took a look in my mouth was did you quit smoking?!  And I was like Yes I've been a good boy!  Also great track record of having Some Fine Lookin' Teeth according to Dentist after Dentist.  Which I don't believe because they're not aligned perfectly at all.  And that's a key thing when talkin' about some fine ass teeth.  Can't be crooked.  Teeth looking fine individually means nothing, its what they form together as a team that makes a difference!  I feel very strongly about this.
    Its like that old saying... A nice smile requires All Them Teeth Working Together.  Anyway.  While in the waiting room, I was the only one there, so the receptionist gave me the TV remote and was like ya can watch anything you want.  Just... just eeep it, "PG!"  And we all laughed about it because you can't get more than PG on daytime basic channels.  So I turned to Maury and it was all HEY THERE'S ALL THIS Racism/Incest/Statutory-Rape Combinations Of Filth and I realized oh this must be what she was referring to.  Oh well WHAT'S FUCKIN' ELLEN UP TO.  NOTHING!  SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE TODAY.  ELLIE KEMPER WAS FILLING IN.  I won't give any more details because of Spoiler Alerts.  Also, I may be confusing Men with Sharks and Women with Lobsters.  Sharks circle or something sometimes, right?  And we all KNOW lobsters are notorious pinchers.  Read about it in my new book, Men are From Sharks, Women are From Lobsters.
    Anyway.  Rare Evening Entry.  So far, great what else ya got.  I came up with another goof-em-up today, after the Small Dick Nazis insight-em-up, but I can't remember what it is.  Also I figured out a remedy for having consumed some alcohol before dentist appointment-- got an iced coffee!  I figure that there milk and," Sugar Free Vanilla," will mask any unseemly odor in my MouthSpace.  I wonder if there's a new kind of psychopath who, either sexually or not, gets off by saying a made up name at Starbucks, and then when its read, they laugh giddily, take it, and walk away.  I dunno, maybe that's a genius way to get in the head of a character you're playing/working on.  Just say to them, Hey I'm Jack Joe Briggs.  Fill it all out not just Jack Joe.  I want everyone behind the counter to know the name Jack Joe Briggs!  And then they call your name 10 minutes later and an hour passes by until you realize oh wait that was for me.  Forgot my fake name!  Honest Mistake!
    Sure I know how people Do Acting.  They figure out the name of the character and the rest takes care of itself naturally.  What kinda chump you take me for.  Sixth paragraph.  What crap is crapping on.  Gotta go to some sort of supermarket tomorrow!  I can deal with that because I rely on the products I get from supermarket for living.  Anyway, after this paragraph, gonna take a small break.  Food should be here in 20 minutes or so.  Put it in oven for about 30 minutes or so.  Going over all my calculations to verify they were correct immediately after taking food out of the oven.  Putting it back in to make up for that time I lost with it getting cold outside theoven.  Taking it back out, eating while here.  Sweet See ya later! 

Lets Only Finish Crazy Entries!

    Seventh paragraph.  Aim for 10 over all!  Gotta aim for something.  I've learnt that in life.  Or, just aim for nothing in particular.  Have a very generic goal which means nothing and hope it manifests itself In Luck.  It's like shit circling the sink.  Goes back and forth over and over before finally running out into the drain.  Sure I take shits in the sink It's Called EFFICIENCY!  And, of course, if you're like Donald Trump, you've gotta flush the toilet 10, 12 times when going!  True story HE SAID THAT!  Sink?  That cuts down the flushes to maybe 8 or 9.  The point is my life is Crap circling the drain but the good news is Once It Gets To The Drain I WIN!
    Eighth paragraph.  Start dinner in 15 minutes or so.  Talkin 1 slice of Sicily Pizza: The Pizza With Sicily's Stamp of Approval  Talkin' 1/3rd or so of a nice RigaToni with Bolognese sauce.  It's fun because it's the best of both worlds!  Pizza and pasta.  Those two worlds, ya know.  I'm starting to get back into Joe Bob Briggs.  There's sentimental value there, because when I was a kid, (I dunno, 7- 10 years old) he would show up every Saturday Night on some sort of channel-- my best guess is TNT, and they would show some campy horror movie and during commercial breaks sometimes he'd talk for 1 or 2 minutes before throwing it back to the movie.  And now he does that on Online Streaming Database Cloud. 
    First time I watched it I was like this is just some asshole reading things off a card as if he's some knowledgeable movie extra cause thta's the impression I strongly got.  He's throwing in all these bits of knowledge, and I probably correctly assumed oh that's just coming from his team of writers putting together their research and crappy jokes and he's the manifestation of that combination.  But, you know what?  I dunno!  Maybe it's 50%+ him.  That'd be pretty impressive!  Also, doesn't seem very, "Woke,"  He'd probably think I'm a, "Snowflake."  And perhaps I am some sort of, "Asshole," for calling him an, "Asshole," and now he wants to take me outside and, "bludgeon my face in with his favorite baseball bat."  So yeah the point is I like him again.  Meh.  Gonna get food out of the oven Now!

I've Got a Bone To Pick Which Sounds Like a Good Thing But It Isn'!

    You give a dog a spare rib, he's having the time of his life!  Dunno why I went to do-- I'd be having the time of my life, too!  But anyway VI Pizza (Or, as Romans call it, "six pizza," got my Dad's order wrong-- first (ald last, according to him)  time he's gotten food from them, and now I'M THE ASSHOLE for pushin' for it.  So anyway I put it in an entry now so hopefully you will absolve me of being an asshole.  ABSOLVE ME ASSHOLES FOR THINKING I'M AL ASSHOLE LIKE YOU.  The unfortunate thing is I'm enjoying life eating my meal and He's upset and Is it too late to find another family.  It's not a big deal but for the next hour or two its uncomfortable aroud here and I Don't Wanna Deal Okur?
    I mean, there's the element that It's My Fault.  He got this place because of me.  I didn't mean to cause anyone ever harm!  AVENGE ME WEBSITE!  GO FIND DOORDASH AND, "HACK," THEM FOR SOME REASON NO ONE IS REALLY SURE OF.  Anyway, 11th paragraph.  Maybe aim for 12 or so.  Nice even Dozen number.  I wonder what the 2020s will be like.  It'll be all you check this out and yo remember this and hey listen up whats comin' next.  Can reasonable people agree the best we can get out of the decade in some sort of idealish world is fightin' global arming HARDCORE.  I think we can all agree with that because I thought of it and I'm the only guy here hence We All.  I'd like to see whatever British person at whatever time in their history where they were describing Democracy to a prince or something and the Democracy proponent guy was like Well its one person, one vote, and then the prince goes, ok... how many votes do WE get? The point is British Royalty were the inspiration for The Horde.  Alright end it now after 11.  See ya!

-7:06 P.M.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Vanity Website
   
 If you say so.  Appaently I trust you implicitly on 100% of all matters.  You say its vanity website?  GREAT I'M CONVINCED!  Anyway.  Gotta make this entry count.  If entries have been getting progressively worse over the last few months, wihch is my working hypothesis, all it take is ONE ENTRY to turn things around!  Well, the following entries have to live up to that One Entry-- but the One Good Entry is how we get on the right track.  Anyway.  I liked Eddie Murphy on SNL.  Cause part of it was In some way I always knew this was Eddie Murphy but also this has not a lot in common with the Eddie Murphy I know.  Really cleared things up.
    Anyway.  Chicken Pot Pie for Dinner.  It's called a Pot Pie because its a pie presumably made in a pot.  Chicken?  I dunno where that came from.  I finI find it interesting that I can tolerate Corn on the Cob but find kernels of corn disgusting.  Sorta like how I love baked potatoes... but mashed potatoes is disgusting.  I think the one time I enjoyed Mashed Potatoes was at AppleBees where I would get like Steak Dinner with Garlic Mashed Potatoes.  GARLIC YOU SAY?  I'M ON BOARD WITH SOME GARLIC.  VERY VERY SPICY GOTTA PROVE THAT I'M A MAN TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY BY EATING THESE MASHED POTATOES.
    What else.  I feel like I've been subliminally Counting Down to the end of the decade.  Like yeah things are going okay... new decade soon!  That'll shake things up.  Better hold up all my energy til when I'm gonna need it!  To ring in New Decade.  I've probably said this either last year or the year before, but I feel like there's some kind of pun in regards to SyFy channel showing Twlight Zones for a week during the New Years and surrounding days and nights.  Because hey its like the twilight bettwen the years.  Also instead of Twlight Zone they should stick with that theme and broadcast all Twlighlt: The Movies, with Joe Bob Briggsshowing up here and there in commercials to lend his expertease of whats going on.
    I've never seen any Twilight Movies.  I think my reasoning, way back when they started, was (Beyond the obvious I'm Too Old For This Crap/These Teenage Girls are to young for me) I didn' like how Vampires we're encrounching on our pool of sexually available females.  What this vampire thinks he's better than me?  I don't believe it!  What bullshit.  Also,Also, when the werewolves show up in the franchise, people were all like I'm on team Jacob and I'm on team Some Other Guy... you get the point.  You're not being a great team member.  You just watch passively whats going on over the course of several years.  Now, if the writer of the book/movies sponsered a promotion WHOEVER YOU DECIDE WINS THE HEART OF THIS YOUNG LADY, WE WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THAT CONCLUSION.  Nope.  Just you talkin' about being on teams while not contributing even the smallest bit possible.
    I think the best way to tolerate Corn on the Cob is coat that sucker with way too much salt.  So basically you're eating Salt BUt On Something Physical You Can Bite Into!  The point is I really liked SNL with Edward Murphy.  I'm on Team Edward THAT'S REALLY THE OTHER TEAM I COULDN'T REMEMEBR.  Someime alert Eddy Murphy maybe he's interested in this.  Hey I think I have 1/6th of a burrito bowl in the fridge.  Wonder how that's gonna effect my life.  For beter or worse?  Nothin' at all? Everything at once?  I can't predict the Very Soon To Be Present.

Oh Baby, Baby, Baybe Baybe
   
 Were those unfortunate typos?  You bet!  Did a part of me incorrectly think that these typos are insigtful one wy or an ohter? YOU GET IT  you know what could be cool-- write the Great American Novel.  can't be done, tough!  Typing it up on computer00 whats the pint is all being survailled.  Writ it on a typewriter?  Nah too many mistakes.  Write it with a pen in a notebook?  Probably not for some reaon.  I I think that's a wird standard for a beginning or mediocre or adequately person to set out to do.  yeah I feel like writing a novel-- THE BEST NOVEL!
    Cool!  Maybe 1 or 2 more paragraphs.  10?  Why bother.  Been thinking about and thats a pretty good philosophy in life.  Why Bother.  Runner ups-- Who Cares, Well I Got Mine,  Anyway the point is having meals left over from Super Meal is tiredin some aspects, and wired in others.  Hey you left over General Tso's chickn?  Yeah you can eat it again tomorrow WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO DO THAT.  On the other hand, hey you finished a Cicken Pot Pie WHY THE FUCK AM I NO INSTANTANEOUSLY REWARD WITH A BRAND NEW CHICKENPOT PIE! NO MORE ENTRY

-2:37 P.M.
 

Saturday, December 21, 2019

It Is a Certain Time of Day
   
 Or is it?  I don't have all the answers! I've got some-- Not All!  I've got roughly 30-40% of the answers-- but not the ones you think!  The answers I have are answers you wouldn't expect and answers you'd assume I had may be way off!  Anyway.  Eating a Chipotle, "Bowl," which, had I had them in NYU as upposed to Chipotle Burrito, would have been my 2nd favorite Bowl.  CAUSE OF MARIJUANA.  YA PUT THAT STUFF TO BE SMOKED IN SOME SORT OF PIPE OR WATER PIPE AND YOU CALL THOSE SUCKERS, "A BOWL."  Anyway.  Just watched Cannibal Holocaust on BrrItsCholdFromGhosts.com, and I've got mixed feelings, but none of those feelings are Strong feelings!  It's not like well part of me loved it HOWEVER... nope.  Part of me was like hey not so bad and part of me was like hey no bueno.  I figure its a good movie to see if I ever go to film school in some mystical alternate reality, cause I can imagine film students talking about it a lot.  They think it'll make them sound cool!  WHAT DUMMIES.
    Very controversial film-- to the extent its hard to find it in many countries.  One of the controversial parts is, when filming it, they actually did harm to/killed six or seven animals.  I dunno though.  If its legal to kill an animal for culinary purposes, why not entertainment purposes?  What if they killed it On Camera and then Off Camera they ate it?  Would that suddenly make it Bueno?  Another controversial part, I Can Only Assume, is the name.  Cannibal HOLOCAUST?!?!?  I DUNNO WHAT THAT MEANS EXACTLY.  AND WHAT I ASSUMED, "HOLOCAUST," MEANT IS CONTRADICTED BY THE CONTEXT IT HOLDS IN THIS TITLE.  SOMEONE BETTER EXPLAIN WHAT WORDS MEAN TO ME AND FAST!  For a while they were concerned some PPL died on camera for the film.  Wow!  That'd be pushing the envelope.  BTW, "pushing the envelope," in terms of Film, means trying to campaign for an Oscar because they come in envelopes.  Is it only Academy Awards where, when they're being presented, the Presenter needs to be like hey I got this envelope for some reason!  Alright, gimme 5 seconds, gonna Open Up This Envelope.  Envelopes got all the answers, just give me a second!
    Probably.  I've never watched any other award show but gotta assume they have slightly different traditions.  I don't know why I'm excited about Eddie Murphy hosting SNL tonight.  And that's EXACTLY WHY I AM EXCITED!!!  It's not like a Homecoming to me, cause I was not born when he was last SNL.  And his movies, especially past the 1980's, he's become more of a generic comedy man type kind of guy.  So it's exciting to see hey what's he all about n SNL terms.  Anyway.  I know I'm wrong but my favorite Eddie Murphy movie was Life.  Where he and Martin Lawrence Go to Jail For LIFE and i ts a comedy/drama.  I dunno exactly why it struck a pretty deep cord with me, but who am I to argue?  Probably some sort of Guy.  Arguing Guy.  HEY THATS A GOOD CHARACTER FOR WHEN I AUDITION FOR SNL.  "ARGUING GUY!"  Is Is it possible to audition for SNL like it was Ameican Idol?  Cause, IF SO!!!! I probably shouldn't do it.  Save it for when I got all my comedycrap worked out, you only got one chance to make a good impression!
    I learnt that in one of these books I've read over the last year-- probably Kevin Hart's.  Maybe someone else's I DUNNO I ONLY HAVE 30-40% of the answers!  I like to imagine people with low self esteem in terms of appearence/performing and they audition for a writing job at SNL and then Lorne Michaels is like hey that was great DO YOU WANT TO BE A SUPPORTING CAST MEMBER? and then the guys like oh!  Oh me!  Oh me oh my!  Why, shiver me timbers.  You want me... what... you think I'm... welwell I really don't like acting in addition to not being experienced at it but HEY WOW WHY NOT!.  Anyway, what else.  Having Chipotle II of II for lunch today.  No Burrito Tortilla!  I gotta watch my figure!  Watch it become big and flabby!  Hey sounds like fun gotta mix things up somehow these days why not mix it up by becoming skinny then fat again then skinny again...
    Wow!  Decided to use a Different Color for today's entry.  So far, so good!  Fifth paragraph.  That's pretty good, enough to end after this paragraph if I really feel like it!  Boardwalk Empire is pretty good.  It's all like what's this crap going on between Nucky and this prim and proper Irish girl as soon as I think I got their relationship figured out BAM I REMEMBER HOW IT TURNS OUT FROM LAST TIME I WATCHED IT! That really doesn't help at all, though.  I remember vaguely how the relationship plays out tangibly-- still have no idea how it was playing out from moment to moment.  Oh well such is life.  Also how is Atlantic City such a big deal.  I've heard of Atlantic City before this television program and it always seemed like hey there's this place Atlantic City.. nothin' that special.. just seems to exist for some reason.  Probably some gambling going on there, that'd be my guess.  Tha's pretty good I guess.
    What else is going on.  Had a real late lunch today.  Alright past 3:00 and I still have 1/8th of Lunch left to go!  I dunno if Lorne Michaels likes meta-comedy, but that'd be a solidly mediocre impression to do when auditioning.  Writer who is flabbergasted and modest and insecure about becoming a cast member but deep down is thrilled.  Oh well such is life.  I dunno.  What else is there on TV and by TV I mean My Computer.  Mom explicitly said to em a week or two ago Alright For Real now we're gonna get you a TV by the end of the month.  End of month is creeping up!  The goos news is I didn't believe for one second it would pan out that way at all.  It's good news because Hey why get your hopes up for something that won't happen Just A Waste Of Time one would imagine.
    I like how Weezer has a song called Represent and John Lennon had a song called Imagine.  I like to imagine they're synonyms if you're being liberal about what Represent means.  And why shouldn't you be?  It's fun to be liberal about what words mean, that's how I feel!  Anyway.  In terms of What Kinda Food I Got Left Over, I got Part III of III Steak/Seafood Combo.  May have it or dinner tonight-- may have it for lunch tomorrow-- maybe even have it For Dinner Tomorrow!  I'm not here to predict the future!  I can't even predict the present!  Past I'm pretty sure of.  I know what happened in the past Way More than the average fool.  What else is going on.  Aiming for 10 paragraphs seems like the way to go as of this moment.  Whatta ggreat moment!  It's the one that Is This!
    Hmm, more words and crap.  I have a lot of crappy recurring dreams.  One is where I'm smoking a cigarette and I'm like Hey I remember IN THE PAST Smoking Cigarettes (The past I am thinking of In The Dream is Previous Dreams as if they were real, which, when you're thinking In a Dream that Past Dreams were real-- kinda makes sense, to be honest!)  Sometimes I think about the mentality being smoking cigarettes.  What does it really mean.  One theory I have is its just a way to say Fuck You to life.  Hey all things considered you want me to live 80 years?  Well FUCK THAT I'm gonna live 70 years JUST TRY TO STOP ME!  For me, it's probably influenced by some Freudian shit.  Mom smoked cigarettes, Dad was always on her case about it, us kids knew it was bad for her...  I feel like that kind of background probably left some sort of imprint in terms of hey should I smoke or not smoke what's the deal.
    Great.  What else is going on.  Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.  YEAH THANKS GOT IT.  A THING IS THE THING THAT IT IS.  THANKS FOR YOUR GREAT INSIGHT JERK.  Ninth paragraph.  Figure 10 sounds just peachy.  Figure 10?  That some sort of sequel to the sequel of a Figure 8 which is a thing my producers have told me?  Wait I have producers?  Hah!  Not a bad idea of what I should call the voices in my head.  Just producers to the TV show that is my mind.  Uhh dunno that sounds Like Terrible.  Oh well that's life for ya.  I also have a recurring dream in which I play online poker and I double up after double up after double luck... and I end up with 2-3 million dollars... and I end up blowing it all!  Because my mindset, in this fictional scenario, in a dream, was like hey easy come easy go.
    Cool!  Even worse than admitting my favorite Eddie Murphy movie is POSSIBLY Life.. the runner up, based on what came to my mind immediately, was... Bowfinger.  It's a good movie!  And the jerk plays 2 parts in it!  Why am I ashamed about liking Bowfinger?!?  Part of its charm is that it fly's under the radar, so to speak.  Not supposed to earn SILVER when ranking movies.  Just gotta be some spot a little bid above average.  10th paragraph.  What else is going on and crap.  The point is Christmas is coming up soon.  The other point is is Masochism some weird reversal of Christmas.  Chris Mas.  Mas chrism.  I dunno you figure that one out I got no desire to dwell on it anymore at all.
    The great news is More Entry!  I suppose.  Probably the worst thing going on in my life these days is my bathroom is DIRTY AS FUCK.  Shit load of mold on the floor.  Dirty sink, dirty table surrounding sink, 3x as much garbage on top of garbage pile that originally was just a regular garbage bin but now is overflowing by 300%!  I sure hope a Christmas Miracle happens and my bathroom is clean again without me having to spend 2 hours cleaning it myself!  I got things to do!  Like, well, hmm.  I guess I don't have things to do but whatever get off my back about it.
    Anyway, jeez.  12th paragraph!  I don't mind having Boardwalk Empire as my Go-To for the next couple of weeks.  It's solidly in the Good Enough category or Things We Can Judge.  Man having a TV would be sweet as fuck.  It means I wouldn't have to keep transporting my laptop from Where TV Should Be (so I could watch it in bed) to Where Laptop Should Be (So I could write @ Laptop in the direction I SHOULD Be Writing!)  I was looking up Horoscopes and I'm Very Upset they don't do Horoscopes Down To The Day.  What, so I share this kinda day with every 12th person?  Not exclusive enough.  Gotta make it so I share it with every 365th person!  If you want me to take you seriously.
    13th paragraph!  I dunno, what else.  Lets make this the last paragraph.  Why bother with a 14 or 15 when 13 is all ya need.  Hmm maybe I can watch The Watch men.  Pretty good title for a group of men.  Hey they Watchmen like a Watch Watches involve a lot of moving parts very technically supreme and complicated these men are like watches Tic Tock mother fuckers.  Pretty sure that's how that goes.  I wish I could count on 2 hands the number of times I've been like HOW DO CLOCKS WORK on this website.  And I still have no idea.  That's a good Contest Idea.  HOW TO WATCHES WORK E-MAIL ME AT SHIVERTIMERBS@TOACLOCKSATCH.CORG.
    Maybe aim for 15 after all.  Sweet!  The pint is I have about 1/6th-1/8th of Chipotle Bowl left over and have no real desire to eat it any time soon-- possibly all the way up to when Dinner rears its ugly head.  The more I watch The PPL Under The Stairs: Teh Horror Movie-- both in terms of watching it more and becoming older each time I see it--  I continue to realize to a greater and greater extent the people under the stairs are nothing to fear, they're the good guys-- they're the victims-- we're on the same team!  What, just cause They Live Under The Stairs we're supposed to be afraid of them?  Doesn't add up to me.  Seems like capitalism pitting groups against groups to keep them away from criticizing a corrupt system.  They want audiences to be feuding with PPL Under The Stairs. WELL I AIN'T FALLING FOR IT ANYMORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE!
    Probably last paragraph.  Sweet!  I like it when Bernie Sanders speaks.  There's gotta be something in terms of Telling It Like It Is that makes it easier to talk about it... Cause You Just Tell It Like It Is.  No need to worry, just keep goin!  Crap like that.  What else is going on.  Hopefully the last paragraph.  Hopefully for both You and Me.  I also like that the protagonist in Under2Stairs2Furious's name is  Fool.  What a great title I hope one day people will unanimously consider me A Fool!  Anyway entry is just about over.  I'll see ya'll some future time.
 

Friday, December 20, 2019

No More Titles...... ...Starting... NOW!
   
 Hey I really wanna do away with titles completely for some months or something.  It's been a curse and a burden on my psyche and my writing.  Oh well such is life.  Not anymore!  Starting... NOW.  I dunno what any of this means.  Well what's going on in the wide world of sports.  Bernie Sanders has a beef with Major League Baseball.  Not 100% what that's about.  My theory, based on the very little base knowledge I've just communicated, is it has something to do with they don't pay Minor League People enough so now MLB is threatening to get rid of them completely instead of givin' em a fair share.  That's my best guess with ignoring any ACtual Summation of what's going on.  Seems like the kind of thing that might explain that headline.
    Anyway Big News I'm getting Chipotle for lunch and I'm going with the Tofu option for Meat...Slash Tofu.  I love Tofu when its in a nice hot and sour soup.  Maybe I'll like it when its in a Chipotle!  Probably, that's my guess.  When I first got access to ShiverMeTimbers.Fakewebsitenamethatsasynonym.net, I was like HOLY SHIT this is gonna last me many months!  Now, 3 or 4 weeks in, Hmm almost done with the stuff thats probably worth watching.  Talk about a real Shiver Me Timbers.  I hope one day to find out What Timbers Are and why they're in risk of shivering.  I hope one day to watch Watchmen.  The title told me to!  Also, very critically acclaimed.  But Hey Maybe I Don't Deserve It.  What have I done In Life to warrant being appropriately entertained?  Guess I'm some sort of Entertainment Masochist.  Yeah sure there's good TV out there but I'm gonna deprive myself of it because Sexual Pleasure And Relief.
    I dunno.  What else is going on.  I think I'm a real great innovater when it comes to biting ones nails.  Obviously, people who bite their names, you'r biting the End Of The Nail.  The top of the nail.  Hey check out this life hack-- use a nail clipper to loosen up some Nail in the semi-circle AT THE BOTTOM of the nail, then bite that sucker off!  It's FUN AS FUCK and its a whole new extravagant and fancy and Its Worth It you gotta believe me.  Hey... looking at my hand... it appears the semi-circle is ONLY ON THUMBS.  How come I never learnt that anywhere?  Seems like the kind of thing you'd notice/are taught in 2nd grade.  Your thumb nail is different from the rest because of Base Nail Semi-Circle.  Wow I feel like I've figured out one of the last great secrets of the universe.  Bottom Nail Of Thumb Semi Circle.  Should I be awarded a Nobel prize?  I dunno-- that's for the voters to decide!
    Yeesh.  But, yeah, anyway-- the point is use nail clipper to incision a little bid of the opining in Semi Circle, then bite it a lot, suddenly you got a nice Sucker of a Nail you're dealing with!  Real Exquisite, too.  You ain't never bite a nail like this!  Premium Nail For Bitings!  I'm probably gonna have a 2nd title this entry, despite the first title.  Oh well life is crap who am I to argue with life being crap by trying to make my world a little bit better.  Might as well just Settle For Crap-- life could be a lot worse than Crap, so Life Being Crap is a problem I can deal with.  Watchin' Boardwalk Empire.  I wonder how much of Steve Buscemi's early persona of being a Kind Of Weird Guy Hey What's His Deal was due to his Name.  People always assume its his look.  But maybe the last name Buscemi had an impact, too!  Hey weird name.  Weird name, Weird Guy.  All subliminal but either way it's something to think about.
    Wow!  Gonna finish a full 5 paragraph block before lunch even started.  That harkens back to the days of A Month Or Two Ago where entries were at least 10 paragraphs!  I DON'T BELIEVE IT SHORT AND SWEET I'VE BEEN REAL GREAT AT LIVING UP TO THE ADAGE.  I sure hope this lunch materializes sometime soon.  The delivery is 10 minutes behind where it should be... might end up being Canceled for one reason or another I don't care to find out but I will Go Crazy and write an angry letter to DoorDash.shivermetimbers.us.  Oh man how happy would it make me to see the order go from Heading to resturant to At Resturaunt.  I might just cum in my pants!  Ehhh.  GGonna take a break from now to Lunch Time Actually Happening.  See ya in a bit!  OHOLY SHIT ITS AT RESTURANT I JHUS HAD TO LET YOU KNOW ALRIGTH BE BACK IN 20 MINU OR SO@

Titles Have Become Too Powerful.  There's No Checks & Balances.
 
     The point is I don't think this Tofu is great enough to get it regularly but you know what Not That Bad Either.  And the Great News is that it came at all.  I was just thinking about how there was 1 resturant my family used to go to where they had Popcorn Shrimp as an appetizer and We All Got A Kick Out Of That but I have never seen it since.  It's like fried baby shrimp.  Like KFC has Popcorn Chicken.  But each is 1/2 as big and is Shrimp not Chicken.  The Magnanimous News is neither burrito bowl I got today has sour cream.  Sure I know what, "Magnanimous," means.  Something Else than what that sentence implies.
    Hey, great, just great.  Bought a new comlpete large bottle of vodka today. That should last me at least 1 week and hopefully as much as 2 weeks!  Seventh paragraph.  Figure I can end this when lunch is over, no reason to force something if it just ain't right.  Using Tortilla to make my own Burrito out of Burrito Bowl is essentially getting Mu Shu from China Resturaint.  They give you these shells you gotta figure it out exactly as a puzzle if you've got the time but probably not so just dump some crap into the shell and eat it without any effort to hold it all together or make ie evently distributed or anything like that C'mon You've Got Things To Do!  Ya know what Sofritas is pretty good.  Anyway.  You might think Burrito Shell is just empty calories but have you ever known the joy of eating a burrito when you don't give a shit about calories or Health Implications.  You just take a big bite into that shit and Oh Boy Now We're Havin' Fun!
    8TH PEARAGRAPH.  Checks & Balances would be a good title for a movie about a guy who works at a bank... and deals with checks... and balances...  YEAH!  For some reason after that sentence I suddenly had the urge I Wanna Re-Watch Ikiru.  He doesn't work at a bank but he deals with bureaucratic bullshit which is what Bank Person would be doing if he deals with Checks & balences.  I wonder if Japanese People are overtly concious about how hey we're the only people who hav ever been Nuclear Bombed as an attack and not a test.  Gotta think they'd be like hey what was that all about that ain't right!  They have every reason to turn towards Nationalism based on Other Countries Nuclear Bombing Them, but they can keep it together!  I assume!  It's another MLB/Minor Leagues/Bernie Sanders situation.  What I Assume is Probably Right but who knows for sure?!?!
    Wonderful.  I don't know if I should shave or not.  On the one hand, I don't know.  And on the other hand, Nobody Knows.  If I had it my way, I write another 2 paragraphs to get to an even 10.  Lets see how that shakes out.  What else.  Got next 2 dinners worked out, next lunch worked out, 2 slices of pizza left-- 1 for breakfast 2morrow, Maybe Even 1 for between lunch/dinner snack today (Holy Shit I Would Love That!)  Also my Mom got chicken fingers from some place 2 or 3 days ago so I would be a good Son to finish that for her cause she doesn't want to!  Plus, an interesting way to make that a lunch is pairing it woth Ciplotle Tortilla Shell which otherwise I wouldn't use!  Oh and I also got 2 slices of pizza left over, one of which I'll have for breakfast tomorrow.
    Hey last paragraph. Figure I'll go back to watching Boardwalk Empire/listening to Music I've listened to 1000 times before for the rest of the day.  Both, probably. I think one of my fondest memories of my first 2 years in college (which arguably are my best times ever) is eating meals with other people.  Dinner, a nice group of 4 or 6.  Lunch, a nice group of 2.  The point is eating together provides a nice framework for hey we're gonna be friends together on account of enjoying Buffet Style Adequate Food From NYU.  I'd remember fondly the time I would have lunch at Lunch  Time at Stuyvesant but didn't really shake out that way.  iFFirst semester freshman year I would just go get McDonalds by myself.  After that, I figured I'd just chill by myself some where In School.  Which gradually transformed into I'm just chilling WITH OTHER PEOPLE while I'm In School.  The good news is I just finished Lunch AT SAME TIME As Entry and the EVEN BETTER news is I got a slice of pizza to eat for Snack Afternoon.  See ya later!

-2:58 P.M.

Thrusday, December 19, 2019

I Know This Website Like I Know The Back Of My... Something.  I Forget What.
   
 hmm titlin' makes me feel good.  Anyway, hey, Starting Entry w/ Lunch concurrently.  I gotta do something!  Might as well Double Up on Something!  Suddenly not am I only doing Something but I am doing somethings!  Yeesh.  That's right-- Some THINGS.  I can walk and chew gum at the same time!  Hey that's pretty good are you sure you're not some sort of super human?  I never said that!  The jury is still out on that so I'm not 100% confident saying, one way or the other!

I'm Starting To Come To Terms With...
   
 I'm starting to come to terms with No Topping Pizza tastes better than any pizza with any topping including your favorite or top 5 toppings.  Nothing is better regardless of how much you like a certain topping!
    I'm starting to come to terms with I'm watching The Exorcist III and I have never seen the Exorcist II and its completely possible there waswas no Exorcist II and it's a huge hoax even bigger than the Mars Landing (The moon is part of mars, we must remember).
    I'm starting to come to terms with my haircut is never parallel.  I can comb it to one side one way, but it would never be the same if I tried to do it the same way on the other side!
    I'm starting to realize, based on being unable to draw people a step above stick figure but 10 steps below an accurate representation of a real person, I apparently have no idea what humans look like in real life so how could I be expected to know what people look like in a Drawing Notebook.

Whatever What Else Is Going On
   
 I liked Trumps counter-response at his rally to getting impeached was Hey I don't FEEL impeached.  Do you?  Can't argue with a feeling!  Which is essentially less than have a step away from what do words even mean.  Impeachment.  I don't, I never saw that word beyond presidents.  Some weird old word no one knows what it means.  Hey, you know, they want to impeach me?  Fine, I'm impeached.  Means nothing!  Hey just cracked the code for his next response.  Genius is I.  UUh oh that sounds real dystopian.  Oh well the point is I figured it out first, who cares ho much of a negative effect it'll have on our national discourse!  I REALIZED IT BEFORE MOST PEOPLE WHERES MY AWARD?!?
    Anyway, what else is going on.  lets call this the 4th paragraph.  Gotta call it something!  Gonna pick up Bottle of Alcohol on my next walk.  On the one hand, Things Are Gonna Get Worse Before They Get Better.  On the other hand, I can drink all my worries away.  I must have mentioned it a dozen times, but poetry-wise, my favorite pun I ever made in life was Drink til your heart's content.  AND YOU ALL DOUBTED PUNS COULD BE HIGH ART I SHOWED YOU!  Anyway.  GoGoGot a Pizza Pie last night! Had 2 slices!  Mom had 1!  Having 2 right now!  Can you figure out how many slices are left?  Congratulations you're better at math than the president is.  Look what are numbers anyway.  I like pizza, I know you plebs like pizza.  You know how have to call up the delivery service over and over so they don't forget you want pizza from them.  Then you have to tip them Nothing because Hey Why Not they ca't complain!
    I think that's a good Trump-impression that I haven't seen totally capitalized upon.  Trump as Observational/Jerry-Seinfeld-type Stand Up Comedian but everything he's observing about the minutia of life is WAY off.  Wow, fun.  Hmm. I think the most amusing defenses Republicans use to obstruct justice from being done and shirk their constitutional duty is You can't impeach a president who was elected president!  That's the first thing that comes to mind.  Oh, also the one where Trump is Jesus but more percolated.  The point is, I'm boggled at the fact that ONE PERSON like this exists, let along HUNDREDS and let alone THEY'RE ALL ELECTED OFFICIALS COMPRISING 45% OF OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS OR SO.
    Anyway, what else is crap.  This may be the last paragraph Not of Life but of This Entry.  The GREAT news is that I was thinking about it and I was like ya know what if I don't have anything else I can totally responsibly fit in a slice of pizza as a snack today's afternoon.  Anyway Debate Tonight!  I'm rooting for Bernard Sanders on account of him representing the ideals that most closely align with mine and with the Traditional Democratic Party.  How come there's no FiveThirtyEight article about Why have the Democrats shifted so far to the center over the last 30 years?  Nope!  Only a why have the Democrats shifted so far to the left over the last.. 3 years... where there was no presidential election to go one way or the other... and, oh, Hey, They Crushed It At The 2018 election but lets just ignore that... UH OH TOO FAR LEFT!  Anyway I'm gonna Crush Life by ending the entry now and go back to watching some sort of Exorcism Movie I don't have all the details!  See ya!

-1:34 P.M.
 

I

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

I'll Title You Good!
   
 hmm title or entry.  title.  entry.  title.  title.  title entry.  Hmm.  I'll get back to you.

I'll Entry You Good!
   
 Hey Alright!  Both! Its the best of both worlds.  They should have called, "War of The Worlds," The Best of Both Worlds.  Really put a positive spin on things.  Yeah there's some fighting and presumably many casualties On BOTH Sides, but the cream of both worlds' crop will rise to the top.  Our good friend Charlie Darwin taught us about that.  Survival of the fittest!  Gotta look at things half as glass full.  Also, if your glass is half full of cream, boy, I really hope you got the other half filled with Strong, Strong Espresso.  Only solution that comes to mind.  Anything else you'd be like Hey this is too much cream!  Anyway.  Got SuperMarket today.  Experimenting with a new Hot Dish.  It's called arroz con pollo and it's taken the neighborhood by storm.
    Not sure what that accomplishes.  But I will have it as a lunch in about an hour, that much is true!  The other good news is that I bought some Heavily Salted/other spiced Tortilla chips and I'm ALWAYS happy when I get those name-brand Original Style Tortilla Chip-esque Tortilla Chips!  It knocks all other chips and salty snacks out of the water!  But I still somehow don't see it as my go-to.  And, who knows, maybe if it was, I'd grow tired and weary of it.  I can't answer hypothetical questions!  Like, if I was a Supreme Court Justice, asked hey this girl you tried to rape would you have raped her if you could?  HYPOTHETICAL CAN'T ANSWER.  That's the kind of moral compass and value-oriented person we should all be learning about favorably in High School Social Studies the next century and whatnot.  That doesn't sound possible.  Oh well I guess NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL SOCIAL STUDIES is the logical result.
    Kavanaugh is not going anywhere.  That means High School Social Studies IS.  Good thing I changed my major from that just before the sinking ship!  Well, at the very least, "Both Sides-ism," will make a STRONG mark on the curriculum.  Hey Whatta wonderful world!  I dunno how things are gonna shake out, one way or another, though.  No middle ground.  Either Good or Bad.  Pick a side!  Anyway.  In the trailer for Glass: The Movie, there's a clip of Unbreakable's Son in a comic book store and in the shot you can see the aisle of comic books that says Villains right over his head and I was 100% duped into thinking that was a hidden secret like Oh shit this kid is gonna turn into a villain!  That'll shake things up!  He didn't, though.  Maybe he'll get around to it in Anonymous.  Suddenly writing Anonymous has taken on a new purpose.  Make that kid a super villain for some reason nobody is really sure of.  Great, what else is going on.  Gonna take a break now.  Resume Entry When Lunch Begins.

    What if I don't wanna pick a side between good and bad?  What if I wanna be 75% good and 25% bad?  Who are you to tell me I can't be bad as long as its under 50% because presumably if I'm 50.1% good Then I'm Roughly Technically Good On Average All Things Considered.  Makes sense to me.  Really digging this shudder.com.  There's another good basis for a Website Name for Horror Movie/Shows Streaming Service.  Something that incorporates the grave or something with the website.  There's a pun to be made there.  Itcamefrombeyondthewebsite.com not great but you get the idea-- there's probably one ideal name for the website based on that sorta pun.  Anyway, I dunno.  I'll be back a little bit later With Actual Lunch to correspond with writing.  This was just an in-between paragraph!  Hey, remember the song Inbetween Days?  By The Cure?  And then FAMOUSLY adapted by Ben Folds of The Ben Folds Five. ...thats a good song.  That's the point.  Hey i like this song.  MAKES ME LAUGH!

Lunch Time! 
   
    And you all doubted me.  Doubted that I... would eat... lunch... today.  Anyway  Arroz is ok, the Con Pollo is better though!  And this specific dish is heavy on the arroz and not the pollo.  Anyway.  Not 100% happy with Entertainment Consuming Habits of the last few days, leading into the next couple of weeks.  Boardwalk Empire + Stuff I've seen on shudder.com + Stuff I haven't seen on shudder.com!  I've noticed the Arroz tastes better when you're eating it really quickly.  Just stuffing your gullet time after time with rice, tastes alright that way!  You savor each bite?  Not quite as good.  Anyway.  Poured myself a beer.  Because hey Adult Men like beers maybe if I drink beer I will be rewarded somehow with sex like how many Adult Men are for various reasons.
    Hey  late lunch means dinner is ALMOST HERE RELATIVELY.  4 hours or so as of now.  That means if I was watching an insanely long movie, that gets me 70,75% there!  I think the people of Spain/Latin America should sue My Supermarket for the mediocre version of Arroz Con Pollo.  They're hurting the arrox con pollo brand!  Should be illegal is the point!  What paragraph are we up to.  Sixth.  Figure I'll just stop at whatever time I feel like! Anway. Punk Baby was born about 6 weeks ago.  I can't wait to see it grow while at the same time not changing at all. It will get older just like anything else does, and at some point presumably won't be a baby anymore.  But it'll remain the same more or less. Such is life!
    What else is in store for today.  Probably some Store Stuff, that'd be my guess.  No what else do I Have To Do For Rest of Today.  Well, there's dinner.  Then a good 1-2 hours listening to music anticipating the sweet release of sleep and Breakfast right after sleep.  What happens until then, though?  Probably 4 hours of listeing to music WITHOUT the joy of anticipating the sweet release of sleep and Breakfast right after sleep.  NOPE!  Only the sweet release of having dinner than listening to music then going to sleep then having breakfast.  Everything gets pushed back a notch, though, is the point.... ... ...Too little chicken.  Too little Great Taste from chicken.  Too little Love o' me for the meal altogether!  Anyway, I dunno.  See ya later!

-2:32 P.M.

Monday, December 16, 2019

Wow!  An Entry!   I  Never Saw That Coming!.
   
 Wow, a bold word is un-bolded when the rest of the phrase is in bold.  I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!!!  Sure some nice Stylin' Words 'n crap like that, though, I'm on board!  I dreamt there was a new sequel in the Unbreakable/Split/Glass franchise called Anonymous.  I won't reveal too much because Spoiler Alerts!  I want you to see this movie Never in some sort of Nowhere Place and go in with a complete Nothing Mentality.  I like Boardwalk Empire.  I assume there's a pun or two intended in that title.  Bored?  Walk Empire.  Good way to fix your Nothing Head in a Nowhere Place.  Walk along the empire when you're bored.  Well, that's the only Pun I can currently think of.  I Swear I Thought Of Others in the past, though!  Maybe you can figure some out yourself.  If so, e-mail them to me at @.@.com.  I had to pony up A LOT of money to petition Internet to allow me to have an @.@.com e-mail.  A.  LOT.  @.@ kinda looks like some sort of weird smiley face.  YOU FIGURE IT OUT!
    ANOTHER PARAGRAPH?  I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT!  Ye-- Oh, oop, there it is.  Sorry.  Spoke a little too quickly.  Speaking of speaking quickly-- that's my lame claim to fame.  A kid I was in school with from K-~4, his mother was BRIEFLY in the Guinness Book of World Records for World's Fastest Talker.  Like, you give her a script, she could belt it out as fast as possible, presumably while being measured that she's being coherent enough.  Also-- how did I find out she lost her title?  I never verified it here or there.  I think the teacher announced it to the class in 2nd grade and we were all very proud.  Then somewhere along the line I remember learning hey she lost her title.  Couldn't have been from the kid himself-- He Was An Asshole and I'd never talk to him directly.  Also, his particular brand of assholery would prevent him from revealig the sad truth that his family has been dishonored.
    Anyway.  Gonna take a walk at some point over the next few paragraphs.  Gotta take a walk!  Then gotta eat lunch!  Then try to live the rest of my life Coherently Enough so Guinness World Records will let me keep the title of The Least Coherent Person of people where They're Still Somewhat, Somehow Minuscule-y Coherent Just Enough To Be Decoded By Advanced Metrics and Measures.  Jeez.  If we pronounce Christmas as, "Chris-mas," does that mean back when they made up Christmas originally, people were pronouncing Christ as, "Chris[silent t]"?  I've given us all a lot to think about this Merry Holidays. Man I hate Christmas so much I'm gonna say Holidays instead and there's nothing regular average folk can do about it Mwa Hah Hah Hah!  I guess I'm some sort of super villian master mind according to Fox News.  First he comes for the word Christmas.  What's next?  ...Who cares!  CHRISTMAS IS OUR WORD OUR LIFE REVOLVES AROUND CHRISTMAS!  Probably, right?  Could I have been my coherent in that riff?  Probably!  But such is life I gotta maintain my title of being just coherent enough!  Such is life when you're a record holder at something.  Can't let that record slip away!  My life revolves around being Completely Minus One Incoherent!  Anyway gonna take a walk right now.  See ya soon!

Ford Vs Ferrari is about Gerald Ford vs Guy Fieri.
   
 Wow!  Not even worthy of a throwaway 1 sentence in a blob of paragraphs.  Nope!  Either title or nothin'!  ya know who I'd support in Ford vs Ferrari?  The one who takes global warming serious enough to transition to completely electric cars/however you wanna power cards just Not Through Oil.  They've got my support!  Anyway.  Beside Trump & Republicans, gotta imagine the oil industry is a close 2nd for Modern Day Ultra Villains when people look back, right?  The point is My Dad said I had too many varieties of Chips in Kitchen Cabinet.  I had three bags!  A Weird Lays Concoction that tastes like shit, a nice Sun Chip, and a nice Pop Chips.  Decided to take 2 of them up to my room to placate him.  Brought up the Sun Chips!  I may have those here and there I like 'em!  I brought up the weird Lays, "Thick Cut," BBQ flavor but man this is weird tasting I don't like it.
    If I was making a vanity record and I was Guy Fieri I think you cuold do worse than a title of Just Some Guy or something along those lines.  I figure around 90% of music is Vanity Music.  Myself included.  In fact, of that 90%, my vanity music covers around 40% of all Vanity music in and of itself!  Anyway.  I hate Christmas so much but the only thing I hate more than Christmas: The Concept is Christmas: The Word  NO WE DON'T SAY THAT WORD ANYMORE.  Like that one play from Shakespeare.  Or that one Guy from Harry Potter.  Christmas is just a mix of Shakespeare and Harry Potter, that's the point.  How do I define Vanity Music?  If it fits at least 2 of the following three things-- going into it thinking II'm gonna get a kick out of this!-- going into it knowing I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not super talented-- going into if you're in a position of already having some sort of audience already to inflict this music upon.
    Whatta jip!  Also, I got 2.5 of that.  I'm gonna get a kick out of this? YEP IN FACT I CONTINUE TO GET A KICK OUT OF IT EVERY DAY!  I dunno what I'm doing?  It's true I can play some chords and riffs but it ain't special!  And, because of my illness, it FEELS like I'm in a position of already having some sort of audience!  BLAM 2.5!  Sixth paragraph.  Maybe keep writing for some reason no one is quite sure of.  Anyway.  I was looking through State By State Polls for Democratic Primary and wtf why haven't I been doing this all along.  Getting e-mails from candidates' teams, reading puff pieces/hit jobs, reading tweets of insiders-- I was woefully unprepared to see the actual reality of where they're at.  And it's not like it's in 2 years.  Starts in 2 months!  Basically Joe Biden is a clear front runner, Sanders is a pretty clear 2nd, then Warren is sort of third but Buttegig is doing really well in some states, so I dunno, tied for 3rd?
    Hey I don't like it either but we're never gonne get out of 2nd/3rd by Not Being Aware Of It!  Cause its only gonna get more Set In.  Establishment is gonna call it for Biden as soon as possible.  It's an uphill fight!  Jack and Jill went up the hill... Only To Fight!  #JJFight.  Anyway, figure I'll call it quits after this paragraph.  What they should do-- before Iowa, Sanders/Warren release a statement clarifying if one of us has a clear advantage in the primaries betwee the two of us, we'll endorse the other one Immediately.  Sounds like a strange thing to do that might completely backfire and isn't possible given Actual Real Life Politics and Stuff, but I would like it!  Anyway, what else would I like.  I dunno Warren or Sanders for president that sums it up for now.  Crap.  Alright, see ya later!

-2:26 P.M.

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Hey, Remember This Title?  That's Okay, Me Neither.
   
 Well, I do for the next 20, 30 minutes.  Then its gone.  Gettin some Very Important Pizza for lunch today.  And breakfast the next two days.  And 2 or 4 pieces going in the freezer which apparently makes them last for a month or two!  Who woulda known freezers would pay off so big in dividends and exponentially and good interest acquired.  I'm indebt towards freezers for the rest of my life is the point.  I don't like watching movies on Shudder completely.  hey I like these movies but don't tell me how to respond viscerally to it.  Maybe I wanna shudder, maybe i don't!  I don't respond well to commands!  Gimme some space so I can figure this one out by myself.
    On the other hand, I get to watch movies I like and if it means I won't fully enjoy them based on the title of the website they're on, oh well thats the price one pays these days for Interweb Content. What would I have called Shudder if it was up to me.  Hmm. letswatchhorrormovies.org.  gonnabesomespookemups.net.  dontwatchthesewiththelightsoutonorridunnowhateveritsuptoyou.com.  Anyway, hey, great!  I guess.  Reanimator.  Fun movie!  Very short movie!  I like that in a movie!  Short and sweet!  Get in, get out, say your prayers, go to sleep, wake up in a bed that's not yours!  Re-animate 'er?  What if I wanna re-animate HIM.  Doesn't seem right to be gender exclusive when we're talking about re-animating people.  I remember when it was Spring 2008 and I was in the glorious days of my youth I would pick up Pizza Pie and POSSIBLY eat the whole thing at once.  Possibly not!  My memory isn't what it used to be.  Or... at least... I don't think it is.  Hah!  Finally a sentence that resmbles a joke.  Gonna take a break to finish Re-animator, start up Entry again when pizza becomes one with my being.  See ya soon!   

Lunch Is Here.  Entry Shall Reconvene!

 Well, three paragraphs will get me to 5 total overall!  And I believe 5 is a multiple of five which is what I'm all about!  Anyway.  2 slices of 8 done.  1 for breakfast the next two mornings.  Possibly 2 for lunch tomorrow, possibly my Mom will have 2 over the next day or so, possible I can Freeze 2 or 4 for 1-2 months!  The point is I REGRET NOTHIN.  I wonder what happens when I finally finsh Re-animator.  Part of me watns to take a break from shuddering and maybe watch Boardwalk Empire.  And then EVEN MORE shuddering when A Mother and Son Have Sexual Relations.  Spoiler alert!  I know I've said it before, but I still can't wrap my head around why Family Insest is so popular on porn sides.  EEEYYY THE SISTER OF YOURS WANTS TO SUCK YOUR BUSINESS.  YOURE STEPMOTHER IS INTO YOU BULLSHIT.  BBut then that always leaves me to the conundrum-- are "popular" videos on porn sites actually representive of wat the people want OR what porn websites want us to see?
    It's weird to imagine people liking Sister/StepSister porn ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE SISTERS.  For me, its just an abstact concept.  But, for them, it triggers some feelings deep inside that I hope they're not 100% on board with.  The point is THIS PIZZA IS FUCKIN' REAL PIZZA LIKE A QUALITY NY (Manhattan) PIZZA FINALLY LIFE IS PAYING OFF TO SOME EXTENT. iI like porn that is, "PMV," which means essentially Porn Set to Music.  Uhhh, maybe I can figure this one out even better by nyself.  It's a real Do-it-yourself type of thing.  Why should I have to succumb to what some other person thing porn matches with music?  I can do it my own and it'll be 10x more effective!  That's my guess....
    Anyway, 1 more paragraph to go.  I dunno if its a real thing, but when I watch movies With some pornography (at the least, womens brests) it seems like generation by generation, women's breasts seem to be diffetent.  Maybe its just a difference of what pornographers/regular-movies-which-happen-to-show-books, or maybe hey attractive ladies from 1980's breasts are somehow different from those in the 2010's.  That's what I've got my money on!  Brests have changed!  Anyway, a few more sentences and then back into the hopeless haze of Afternoon.  Anyway, what else is going on.  Not much.  Figure I'll finish watching Re-animator, chill out, DJ some music for myself, see where that takes me.  Gotta take my somwehere!  Otherwise, who would care!  Mabe have half a slice right now!  HOLY SHIT IMAGINE THAT I ALMOST CAME IN MY PANTS.  See ya later.

-1:56 P.M.

Friday, December 13, 2019

Maybe If I Write A Lunch It Will Help Me Eat An Entry.
   
 Hmm... maybe I just want to write based on HUNCH  while eating an ENTREE.  I'll get back to you after I figure this crap out.  Had my birthday yesterday!  Just kind of gotten into the routine of celebrating it on December 12 every year-- got NO IDEA where that came from!  Next time someone tells you they're in their, "birthday suit," I implore you to go, ...so placenta, then.  I'll put you down for placenta.  Got Chipotle for lunch today to celebrate and enact some sort of Post-Birthday After Party.  The bad news is they covered one with what I can only assume is sour cream which looked disgusting and I scraped/mopped up as much as I could, put it in microwave, and the little bit left?  I'm like, yeah, if I close my eyes I can imagine this tastes like White Sauce from Halal Folks.  Also, why are my taste buds and my eyes connected?  Really should see some sort of specialist about that.
    Anyway, learned a real great FastFoodHack.  You can get a tortilla on the side with any burrito bowl.  It's like getting a whole burrito, but you can get it on the side for free!  I love it because I can't get my head around eating a 300 tortilla shell with each bowl, but if I just get 1 between 2 bowls, split that sucker up, Now whose laughing like an idiot?  Not m--... wait, hold on.  Do i WANT to be laughing like an idiot in this scenario.  Or do I want Chipotle to be lauhging like an idiot.  Or maybe some sort of spectator/audience to the whole conflict, maybe they're laughing like idiots.  Anyway.  At what exact birthdays do we go from YAY EVERYTHING'S COMIN UP MIKEY to HEY THIS IS FUN FOR SOME REAON WHY NOT SPOIL MYSELF AND WRITE HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON MY FACE IN A SHARPIE AND PUT IT ON FACEBOOK BBECAUSE I THOUGHT IT'D MAKE ME LOOK COOL to Great another nail in the coffin of being an adult to great another nail in the coffin closer to death.
    Anyway.  Aiming for 5 paragraphs today!  Made a gentleman's agreement with my brother to go see a Third Eye Blind/Saves The Day show in March.  What night in march, you ask?  I'd cosmically Save The Day somewhere but my Third Eye's Blind.  Also Brother gave me password to Shudder-- the Horror Movie/Show Streaming Service!  Which I always assumed was called Shutter for some reason.  Sounds the same.  And in my mind it was like hey ghouls and goblins out there, shut the shutters-- the House Shutters.  Or window shutters.  SOMETHING WITH SHUTTERS I'M SURE OF IT!  Thinking about re-binge watching Boardwalk Empire.  This would be either the 3rd or 4th time around that there boardwalk.
    So far the grand total of what I've watched on Brrrr Shuddering is Creepshow II (which I watched somewhere, I dunno, as recently at 3 months ago?) and 1/5th into The Peeples Under The Stairs (which I probably last saw about a year ago.  Good movies!  Nothin' new!  But anyway now I have a lot to do over the next few months or so.  Watch some Crap!  Anyway.  Paid the Laundromat Peeple some money earlier today, but the Laundromat Lady dropped a 5 dollar bill and didn't see it, so I picked it up and re-handed it to her.  At least I hope she didn't see it.  And was just getting ready to start the process of kneeling down to pick it up.  And then saw me pick it up the implication like Fuck you MY Money Now lol get back to doing quality laundry for people.
    Last paragraph!  Cool.  Sometimes my heart hurts the last few days.  Dunno what it is.  I can tell you it often corresponds with taking in some alcohol.  I can also tell you I did not tell that detail to my parents when I told them about this.  They'd probably run off to the fantastical ridiculous theory that the two things might be related!!!  Will Smith said it best, Parents Just Don't Understand.  Thinking about seeing Jumanji this weekend because hey who doesn't like a good Jumanji  Some peeple, that's my guess, but I don't want anything to do with them!  The good news I was forced to have a very late lunch on account of Laundromaut Dealings and I feel great to know Dinner is already in like 3-4 hours!  Maybe when I'm dazing out for dinner it'll help me eat taking a nap.  That's my theory.  See ya later!

-3:25 P.M.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

He's Making His List, He's Checking It Twice... He's being diagnosed with OCD... ...IS NICE
   
 A little Christmas humor to get through the day.  Does it need to be at least 3 times to OCD-qualify?  No I think twice, once right after the other, should do it, right?  I'm no doctor but I hope to have a Doctor's Medical Knowledge one day through trial and error.  Or perhaps through some sort of vision.  Hey, or maybe just engage some Doctor in conversation-- there's a lot of ways going about this. Hmm what more Santa jokes can I make?  There's plenty out there!  Not right now, though.  Gonna take a walk after this paragraph, come back, write some more, eat lunch, take another walk hopefully, and then Hey The Day Wasn't Completely Wasted even if that fact is lost on my parents and/or doctors and/or therapists.  I DID A WEBSITE getoffmybackaboudit.
    The good news is I just did a walk bu the bad news is great keep me updated on how often you walk throughout the day every day ad indefinite Hey  Odd Infant Item is that anything?  Like a realy kitsch out-there brand of diapers.  That could be a thing if you feel like it.  Anyway.  I got 2nd half of Chili + steamed rice for lunch in a little bit.  Well, that's a really pessimistic way of looking at it.  Maybe last night I had the 2nd half and today I've left over the 1st half for myself.  It could happen!  Anyway.  I don't think I really realize how much gender expectations and dietary preferences work in tandem.  Probably throughout society too, but I can only speak for myself.  Chili?  That's a man thing.  Salmon nope let the ladies have that one.... I had to think hard to come up with , "Salmon," and it still isn't that accurate.  The point is more Spicy stuff is Men and Women don't like it at all so we can see that dynamic in work just in spicy food in and of itself.
    Alright!  These women and their salmon.  Man am I tired of that stereotype!  YOGURT.  Finally, that's a for real one.  Real Men don't eat yogurt.  OH AND Certain Juices like V8.  No man is gonna go gimme some vegetable juice I CAN TAKE IT.  So, there is this recurring theme of I CAN TAKE IT that both men and women go through, but its not the same thing.  I honestly can't even conjure up anything I'd rather drink less than V8.  I'd drink a dogs piss beforehand.  Not an exaggeration!  In fact, kinda sounds like a good idea even twithout the V8 qualification I gotta put that on my supermarket list which I will check twice because hey Santas my role model okay gotta copy him hardcore.  Anyway, gonna take a break after this paragraph.  Watch Penultimate episode of The Duece (in the final season?  it seems like Maybe but I guess watching the next 2 episodes will help me figure that out.  Then get lunch ready and reconvene hear in and hour, an hour and a half.  SEE YA SOON!

-11:54 A.M.

Move Over Title-- Here Comes The Entry!
   
 Anyway.  Taking my food out of Microwave, my Dad was putting on his pants slowly.  I was like you need help with that?  And he was like nope I got it!  Spoiler Alert-- My Dad Can Put His Pants on Himself. I'd like to meet the guy who can't put his pants on 1 step at a time.  Because the phrase is saying one leg at a time llike this is the best we can do, one leg at a time.  BULLSHIT I WANNA MEET THE X-MAN WHO CAN PUT ON HIS PANTS BOTH LEGS AT THE SAME TIME!! I KNOW HE'S OUT THERE REVEAL YOURSELF STEP INTO THE LIGHT THE LIGHT.  I dunno what else is going on.  The good news I've been drinking with no Heart Pain but I took a walk earlier and there was some momentary heart pain.  That's good news?  Well, close enough I suppose!  Only 1 episode of The Deuce left!  Hopefully by the time the episode is over I'm SURE how to spell Deuce and not say Duece.  One can dream, right?
    Right!  Fifth paragraph!  Maybe this'll be it, maybe not!  I do have a lot of lying in bed DJing Myself lined up for the rest of the day.  I'll get there in time, don'tchu wurry.  Sometimes I try to think back fondly on my times as a Freshman in NYU and the main sense memory I can come up with is going to the very mediocre pizza place right by my friends dorm after we have been drinking/smoking all night so we go there to eat some real mediocre pizza.  That and playing Super Smash Brothers with my Bros.  I always would be Maro  Mario never loses he runs this Nintend shit of course he's the best.  I also have a vague memory of drinkign.  Seems abut right.  Also, the primary way we consumed marijuana was through alcohol bottles or something.  I believe theres a name for that but I dunno it so who cares id I don't know it why should anyone else?  Also, I met a friend who was really into Blockbuster Videos and I felt in light of that we shared some familial bond so I ended up rooming with him in Sophomore year and I quickly discovered oh it turns out Likin BlockbusterVideo isn't a great indication of what kind of person a guy is.
    However he did give me the greatest birthday present of all time which was Crazysheet.com (2004-2007) in book form in completion.  I had a dream a couple of weeks ago someone did that same thing with crazysheet.net (2012-2019) and I was like THE BITCH IS BACK I heard that in a movie or something or a thing aout a movie its safe to say Eltion John's live was just about the movie that would eventually be made about him, right?  Anyway, jeez what else is going on.  I'd like to finance a study over whether people prefer happy or sad endings in Horror Movies.  I feel like it culd easily go either way.  Between 40-60% chance for either.  Now teach me how to finaince a study cause I don't really know.  Am I the only one who gets chili and is like well there's beans in this beans are healthy I'm eating health food.  My guess?  Probably not!  Probably a dozen or two people have knowingly come to that conclusion over space and time.
    I dunno.  Because I'm illness, when I DJ songs for myself 3 hours a day, it's like I'm DJing for everybody!  These ppl in my head and these ppl eavsdropping on my phone are gonna LOVE this mixtape as it creates itself over time.  I figure that's a good lesson to be learned about how schitzophrenia helps you create art.  Hey I'm used to performing and creating 2 a crowd that isn't there... good practice fo when there really is a crowd there!  I also like it because I'm more wise at the end of the day than where I started.  All these songs in this order in this Mode of My Choosing are like hey I figured out some stuff about myself today, and where I'm at, and where the world is at!  Wonderful a few more paragraphs to go.
    I dunno.  I haven't binge watched Tales From The Crypt in roughly 2 weeks. Time I start up again?  God only knows.  Dinner today is 1 slice mixed with 1/2 Chicken Penne Vodka which I got as a Hot Meal from Supermarket.  I'm not sure how to feel about Punk Baby.  On the one hand, it's a solid 3 out of 10 music-wise, and also, a 8 out of 10 in terms of reflecting My Whole Deal at the time.  But also it tinges everything else I've done. Hey I liked the Uppers but with Punk Baby now I see beneath the curtains and NOW I HATE MICHAEL.  That was to be read as ME.  Cool.  I think I'm gonna try to get in the habit of having 1 slice of pizza for breakfast.  Seems like a best case scenario for pretty much evreyone involved even the pizza hell especially the pizza.
    Anyway, 9th paragraph, that might be the end.  9 isn't anything close to a good round number but for some reason in this context it feels okay.  I have recurring dreams where I'm smoking cigarettes and I'm like well that sucks and then I wake up and am like whew Great!.  But also, I have dreams where I'm smoking cigarettes nad I'm like whew this is great!  But then wake up and am like can't Actually have any cigarettes... well that sucks.  I might go see Jumanji on my own on my birthday because I'm trying to hit the trifecta of being Weird As Fuck.  I dunno entrys almost over.  SAVE ME OASIS.  No way Oasis was yesterday.  Today's Special Band? -- hmm this is a tough one.  THE KILLERS!  Fourth band that came to my mind and first band where I wsa like Hey That Sounds Like Fun.  Anyway, I'll see ya later!

1:18 P.M.

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Everyone Likes It When Things Happen
   
 That's the message I've recived from Life.  Also-- Life-- stop sending me messages!  I have like 30 voice mails from Life over the past 24 hours and I'm considering going to the police!.  Anyway, 2nd half of MacDonalds for lunch today.  Then DJ Session 3 MyLonely, and eat some dinner!  Also good name for when Jeff Session rebrands himself as a no-holds-barred Hip Hop Artist.  DJ Sessions.  Not sure what the joke was there.  The joke is Shut Up and Get Used To Shutting Up I WILL FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER IF IT COMES TO IT.  Anyway, went to Supermarket this morning!  Chores for one week down, another six days of nothing to go!  I was taking a moderately sized Gulp of Vodka + Soda, and suddenly My Heart starting hurting hard core.  I was like wait this ain't good... better take anohter moderately sized gulp to see if its the Mixed Drink that did it through trial and error.
    Everyone likes it when things happen. True story presumably!  Maybe another 5 paragraph entry or something, just some Entribits.  That's the title I came up for little entries.  Entribits.  Prove me wrong.  Is it just me, or does fast food restaurant heavily marketing their Impossible burgers kinda seem like when the government went to Cigarette Companies to create the DDon't Smoke adadds.  I mean, sure they're making some nominal amount of money on their Impossible burgers, but I'm sure its better in their interest overall that we all stick to meat.  So the point is IT'S A RIGGED GAME RUN OUT OF THE WAY EVERYONE.  Is that a real thing?  Tobacco Companies making the Don't Smoke adds?  I feel like I heard it somewhere and if that somewhere is anything like Donald Trump's somewhere it's no reliable at all!  Is it possible Donald Trump is a full blown schizophrenic and when he says People are telling me... he's not just being colloquial to sell what he knows is li, and there's actually voices in hish ead telling him that.  I dunno, maybe you do.
    One thing I'm getting into is having those healthy, small portioned TV dinners for breakfast.  Check it out its some pastsa and the Swedish version of Meatballs!  All for 300 calories.  WHATTA BREAKFAST!  I remember when I was a kid I thought of White Castle in terms of oh they're the restaurant with the crazy-mini hamburgers!  But, I mean, McDonalds & The Rest, their basic hamburger isn't really that much bigger!  Whatta jip is the point!  Whatta jip.  I dunno, I never heard the word in any other context.  Supermarket was moderately crowded today.  Hey check it out women in their 30's I can pick goods and produce from a shelf want my number TOO BAD I'M CAREFUL ABOUT THAT I DON'T NEED PHONE SPAM c'mon!  Here's the sum total of The New Monkees progress I've made since February-- the bass player always pronounces the word bass like in Sea Bass.  Or someone else in the show does.  The point is that's a laugh and a half.
    Hey, hey what can I do.  I got good news I think I might get Chili for dinner with a sidze of Rice and making that going into my mouthhole and I swallow it down my gullet and it ends up in some sort of pouch in my stomachtorso.  I remember when I was a kid Kangaroos were really cool cause hey they got built in pouches.  ALSO hey they can jump really high I don't believe it.  ALSO hey if they kick you hard you're going down.  ALSO hah the word Kangaroo is funny I ain't fooling pronounce it out loud to yourself Lmao.  Anyway, I think everyone would be a lot happier if they replaces Tobacco with Tabasco.  I'd like a Tabasco cigarette because it share the same cultural impact of smoking-- in that, Both make you Feel More Cool-- but a fraction of how deadly!  Maybe it'll hurt your heart for 10 seconds as you adjust but then get right back on that horse!
    Cool.  One more paragraph!  Looks like there's some impeachment brewing!!! I'm excited about it because its like Hey maybe the rule of law matters at least just a little bit... you know, around 30-50% to its capacity?  BETTER THAN NOTHIN' Sitcom of a Vietnamese American dad with a family called The Rule of Lau.  I dunno why I guessed Lau is Vietnamese.  Call it a hunch!  2nd guess would be Chinese.  Definitely not Japanese.  I guess Korean is possible.  That about narrows it down more or less.  Probably not gonna take an extra walk today on account of Been There Done That.  Anyway.  Gonna watch the last 2 The Duece over the rest of the day, as well as the last half of Some Wes Craven Movie Centered Around Teenagers Hey Those ARe Good How Have I Never Heard Of This Yet??  Anyway, that'll do it for now.  See ya later!

-1:28 P.M.

Monday, December 9, 2019

At This Point, Getting My Order Right Would Be Wrong.
   
 The point is from now on I should make one blatant error in my order-- something obvious that I don't want-- and just hope the way they Fuck It Up is that one thing I fucked with completely!  Also, dealing with DoorDash &/or McDonalds.  Problem was they didn't give me 1 of my Triple Cheeseburgers sans thing even change PLEASE NO CHEESE HOW CAN I DRIVE THIS POINT HOME ANYMORE.  Figure I'll make some Frozen Hot Dogs (But convince them through physics and chemistry to not be frozen any more) for 1 of 3 lunches I had planned!  Anyway.  Saw Doctor today.  They happened to take my weight and I was pretty happy with it!  Right around the upper end of Healthy BMI-- maybe 2-5 pounds higher.  That means Now I Can Stop Without My Body Being A Dick About It And Making Me Die Or At Least Develop Dying Disease.
    I think Wendy's and Burger King is losing A LOT of money not having Nutrition Calculator on their website.  It's not enough to say a double cheese burger is However Many Calories-- I don't eat cheese nor the other toppings WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR IF I CAN'T ESTIMATE CALORIES I'M GONNA PLAY IT SAFE AND GO WITH THE BURGER RESTAURANT THAT ALLOWS ME TO.  Anyway.  Dave Thomas' daughter was Wnedy.  the restaurant is hers.  Wendy's.  What if Dave Thomas just kept a stable of prostitutes all named Wendy.  Then the restaurant would presumably be called Wendies.  Makes sense to me!  Anyway.  Went into this entry only planning for 5 paragraphs.  Cause I need something to help me through the hopeless haze of Afternoon.  I think McDonalds was the first place I ever really started trying Cheese on Burgers.  Around 2008 they had some Promotion Sandwich where it was like MUSHHROOM AND THE SWISS VERSION OF CHEESE ANgUS BURger OR SOMEthiNg.  And I was on board with the whole concept of Special Big Burger Swiss cheese hey it might be good.  And that's why, to this day, I consider Swiss Cheese as The Fancier of Cheeses.  Hey they were the main selling point for this McDonalds Sandwich must be top notch cheese!
    Cool!  Also they had some Southern Style Chicken Sandwich which is like vaguely spicy and Southern in the respect that they put a pickle slice in the middle and viola Southern.  Anyway.  When I was a kid, I always thought Swiss Cheese was the cheese with columns and rows of circle-holes in the middle.  I guess I was just a really stupid kid, I dunno!  What else is crappening.  I'm too susceptible to watch these impeachment hearings.  I turn it on, there's a Republican talking nonsense, I'm like well this is gonna work on idiots whatta jip.  I turn it back in half an hour later, there's a Democrat speaking Sense, and I'm like man they're making their case really well and simply Everyone's gonna be on board with this!  The point is Whatever The Last Thing I Saw On The Television is more or less how I feel permanently in life until the next thing.
    Cool!  Fourth paragraph.  I think its great to have Gender Equity Across Sandwich Shops-- people 50 years ago reacting to Wendy's.  Maybe something else is going on in my BrainSpace that I can talk about for 2 paragraphs.  Right now, not really liking my chances!  Cool!  Hey I had a 1 or 2 line joke I thought of a week ago then re-thought of 2 or 3 times over the week but currently can't recall!  Whatta jip.  Maybe just end it at this paragraph.  Gotta do something and right now that something I gotta do feels like lying in best and DJing music for myself and no one else.  Really just going hey I'll get a kick out of this and then picking a new song from a different artist.  It's fun!  Might as well write one more paragraph for some reason no one is really sure about.
    Cool!  Anyway.  In Logan's Run, do they kill you before you turn 30?  Or is it like okay once you turn 30 we're gonna kill you... while you're thirty... so you have until right before you turn 31 when we're gonna kill you.  Because in that second scenario I still have 2 or 3 days to live!  And in the first scenario Hey I'm Still Alive Now Somehow  Hey How 'Bout That!  You know what's a good band to play for yourself?  Oasis.  I crunched the numbers somehow and did a lot of field work and practice testing and that's what I came up with!  Anyway, what in the world is going on.  Done!  That's what's going on!  Or, at least, What was going on.  Now the ephemeral state of being done is being done more or less.  See ya later!

-2:42 P.M.

Friday, December 6, 2019

An Entry?  Now?  YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME
   
 That's what the guy said in the alternate version of The Godfather where they put a baby goat's head in Said Guy's bed.  A lot of Horses going on today with me so far.  The Who's Who has a title called Danny and my Ponies.  ALSO-  THE WHO'S [band] WHO [album] I pray to god such a thing was intended.  It's a really Who's Who of The Who.  Anyway, and then I was just watching The Ring: The Horror Movie, and some horses show up in that, too.  Most memorably a horse jumps off a boat to commit suicide.  What it was doing on the boat in the first place is beyond me.  Also, that sequence seemed so odd and so random and irrelevant to the plot, Combined With I don't explicitly remember that scene previous times I've seen this movie, OF COURSE my first reaction was OH NO A THE RING IS HAPPENING TO ME how else you explain this Horse On a Boat Jumping Off The Boat.  I mean, what, the horse was depressed?  I dunno.
    Now that I think about it, isn't it kind of odd that most non-human albums rarely commit suicide?  Unless it's specifically for the survival of its species one way or another.  You gotta be capable of ideation to have suicidal ideation.  And you gotta have suicide ideation before you commit suicide.  I've worked out several graphs to explain this reasoning, if you'll turn to page 22....  Anyway, got lunch to start in about 15, 20 minutes.  We're talkin' half a Chicken Cutlet on Pita Bread plus some Waffle Fry Pieces Actually Bordering On Crumbs, and some random Pork Fried Rice from some other time presumably. I guess that's one way animals kill themselves.  Like i those studies of mice where they feed the sweeter but deadlier thing to some mice and they keep going for the drug even though it kills them eventually.  That's Just Logic Though.  I'm not capable of deeper thought and you're giving me Some Sweet, Hell Yeah I'm gonna keep consuming it I'D BE AN IDIOT NOT TO.
    I've always wondered about the band name Modest Mouse.  To be honest, they don't sound all that modest to me.  I mean, lyrics are pretty modest.  Sometimes.  It can go either way.  Same with the guitar riffs. and the guys voice?  Sure Reeks of Confidence In His Own Deal to me!  Also, Modest Mouse.  Kinda an oxymoron.  Most mice are pretty modest, right?  They'd have to be!  Small and inconsequential and nobody cares about them enough to lobby scientists to not experiment on them.  Why, it's almost enough to make you wanna kill yourself by Consuming Some Sweet over and over again LIFE AS A MOUSE ISN'T WORTH LIVING UNLESS ITS TO KILL YOURSELF TO PLEASE SOME SCIENTIST.  I dunno what's going on, but the point is, lunch in 10 minutes o so.  I like that!  Gimme some Sweet!  I'll stop after a relatively appropriate time, I swear it! gonna take a 10 minute break.  Be back W/ Lunch!
    Back with lunch!  Don't drink the punch.  I 'm super glad that we're all still in touch.  To the tune of AC/DC dummies.  I like breaded chicken breast.  Its all the joy of Fried Chicken without the stigma of Fried Chicken.  Health Stigma.  Not racial stereotype stigma.  Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter you fools.  I've always found Onion Rings kind of retarded.  It's basically juse here's some deep fried breading in a circle... there my be a tiny onion in there for good measure, too.  I mean, is the onion literally only there to help the cook make a circle?  Cause it's a complete after thought when consuming it!  The point is I never actually took that break to get lunch and I still have anohter 5 or 10 minutes after this paragraph!
    So, yeah, great!  The Who's Who of December 2019.  I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THIS STUFF.  Anyway.  Figure I'll go get lunch in... 5 minutes.  Countin' down the Hours Or Days or Months NOPE MINUTES that's right.  Sometimes its hard for me to get into music, particularly bands I haven't grown up with,, because ts like, Hey this isn't My Music!  What's the point! I have nothing at stake listening to someone else crap!  I can't relate to anything That Isn't Me.  Also, a different genre of music?  WHATTA JIP.  But theen there's a Who's Who and it made me believe in magic again.  Well, to some extent, I guess.  My favorite part is that it's a step above adequate, even within the context of The Who's Music.  That they can take a 15 year break and be roughly 140 years old each and still make great music?  It's wonderful!  FINALY TIME TO GET LUNCH.

    Anyway, finally, lunch!  I've figured out 2 Upside Down Things the last few days.  One-- if you're making a sandwich with pita bread-- where its the filling and only enough pita bread for either on top of the filling or on bottom-- first instinct is to have the pita bread on bottom, right?  WRONG it tastes better on top.  You just gotta hope you have a filling that you can hold on to structurally.  Like I do!  Therefore because it happened to me once it's universal.  Also, 2nd upside down thing-- I had gone through a period of months where I would keep track of calories.  And over the day the number will build up.  300 calories for breakfast, then 650 for lunch... notes say I'm at 950 calories, maybe wanna aim for 2200 or something, right?  THAT'S NO GOOD HEADSPACE.  Now?  Start OFF AT 2200 Calories.  Breakfast is 300.  UHOH DOWN TO ONLY 1900 CALORIES OVER THE REST OF THE DAY GOTTA MAKE 'EM COUNT.
    Hey, seventh paragraph.  The good news is Fuck This Fried Rice I don't need it.  The point is I came up with a wonderful chord progression for either a Verse or a Chorus.  It does D G Em A.  One of the best songs I ever made was called Gem and the chord progression was G Em.  I forget the lyrics.  Something along the lines of You're a gem, that sounds like me.  So it wasn't that great a song probably I don't remember but a pretty good title if you ask me!  I like The Ring because they rip of many movies at once.  Obviously the Japanese version of The Ring.  But also The Sixth Sense.  One of the supporting characters in The Ring is a 9 year old kid who speaks real real softly and has some sort of power to see/talk to ghosts.  And don't forget the speaking softly part!  It's key to the whole comparison.
    Eighth paragraph.  Figure I'm done after this one.  It did seem kind of egregious when the official sequel to The Ring, Rings, their soundtrack for the closing credits was Beyonce If You Want It Put a Ring On It Or Something Not 100% Committed To Memory.  I've been drinking significantly more the last week or two.  I blame you because I choose not to hold myself accountable for pretty much anything!  Must be you at fault!  I like Pork Fried Rice because obviously we all get excited when we get a little tiny pellet of roast pork in our forkful and its all we can think about eating the rice.  Then we eat it and its like well, lets be realistic, I can't taste it at all.  It's a needle in the haystack of rice.  But then as soon as that biteful is done, we go back to looking for that elusive pebble of roast pork.  It's insanity!  But I still do it BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.  See ya later.

-12:32 P.M.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Which M*CHAEL KORNBL*M Character Are You?
   
 Well that's a tough one.  The good ones?  Anyway, what else.  I figure if I ever had fans I'd affectionately call them Crazy Sheeters.  But it depends on what they're fans of.  If they're a fan of Punk Baby they're Punk Babies and The Uppers THe... Uppers... the point is some titles for fans of other titles mostly rely heavily on common sense.  Also, I hate Successful Artists' Pet Names for their fans.  It rubs me off all the wrong ways.  It's sort of a master/subservient relationship.  It's right there in the phrase Pet Names.  The key word is Pet.  No way, not for me!  My fans are human beings and I intend to refer to them as an inhuman group in a SelfEsteemAffirming Way!  I feel very strongly about this.  No i don't.  yeah but I had you goin' for a while didn't I.
    No you didn't.  But, hey, anyway, lunch is on its way from China Restaurant to Jew Domicile.  Sometimes I listen to Its a Small World on my phone and I realize I'm so desperate for Disney Vacation that I'm willing to get my kicks from an Epcot Center-themed sound track.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I Know.  It all leads back to when ITS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT AND JUST TO DRIVE THE POINT HOME REPEAT THE PHRASE 2 BILLION TIMES IN YOUR HEAD AND/OR OUT LOUD the choice is yours there's some flexibility involved in this I'm not some sort of Boss Monster.  I recently figured out a great LifeHack where if you're getting Delivery to split between 2 meals Fuck That You Don't Need To Split Accompanying Soup in 2 meals that's a hassle and a half no just GET A SPARE EXTRA SOUP that'll solve 70% of your LifeProblems right there!!
    Recently re-watched the newest Halloween after seeing it in Theaters last year I think it was.  It was really confusing!  They kept referring to some guy named Michael but I'm pretty sure it wasn't me because I have no idea who those character those actors were playing are and to be honest I'm not 100% sure they exist in RealLife at all!  Started re-watching Jersey Girl.  On the one hand, George Carlin.  On the other hand, Hmm wonder what George Carlin is doing RIGHT THIS MINUTE WHEREVER HE IS COSMICALLY.  I mean, I'd say 1/2 of us at least believe in an after life.  That means 1/2 of us at least can accurately ponder hey wonder what George Carlin is doin' in AfterLife.  Making cracks about things?  We can all only hope so.
    Well, we could also do other things.  Like NOT hope so.  I'm not here to take away your choices in life!  Anyway.  In Dogma George Carlin played some guy who was gonna inadvertently end the world, right?  I haven't seen that movie in a decade and a half but something along those lines may be relatively correct as far as I know.  I like Kevin Smiths movies because for a year or two they're Really Cool to be into and then for a decade or two they're Really Uncool to be into and then for the rest of time I dunno I haven't been alive long enough to be in The Rest Of Time so I refuse to claim I know any more than you do on the subject.  Anyway.  Some nights when I go to sleep, and I listen to music for at least an hour or two, I just go completely Kingpin Themed.  Just the 10 or 12 songs featured in that movie.  Well, I guess that doesn't take more than hour.  But a sizable chunk a few times a month is Kingpin themed!  Prove me wrong.
    I saw John Kerry endorsed Joe Biden.  That should win him some votes with millenials and African Americans and Swiftboat Captains For Truth (ok that was a low blow because it implies maybe they had some legitimate grievances with him but Nope that's where the termd SwiftBoated came from not like Taylor Swift lost at sea like some kids might assume.  Kinda means like Screwed Over Illegimately or something.  Anyway, the last 6 or 12 months, I've comfortably settled into the reality of Hot And Sour Soup is The Best Soup but it means I can never get Egg Drop Soup because why settle, why not just go for the best?  But getting TWO soups?  I got 1 Egg Drop and I'm Having it Now.  One day I hope to find out what makes Egg Drop soup.  Do they have water and then drop an egg into it?  Seems like the most likely assumption to be made by some guy like me who is maybe 70% good at assumptions and whatnot.
    I like taking gulps of soup.  Pick up that sucker with both hands and glug some soup down your mouth gullet.  Only proem is, I just did it, and it burnt me InsideMouth.  So I had to quickly eat some luke warm Pork Fried Rice to help put the fire out!  Another way Extra Soup really pays off is it helps me get over the barrier where I'm ordering enough for them to deliver it.  I was at 8 dollars or so without it, I need 10 dollars!  Normally I'd get some appetizer which tastes great but is Crap Nutritionally.  Now I get an extra soup and it's Great News For EVerybody!  Hey, guess whose birthday it is in exactly 1 week!?!  A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY ME!  31 years old.  Technically, that means I'm in my mid 30's.  Yet I act like I'm in my late teens or so roughly.  Hey maybe I'll get Benjamin Button Disease let's wait to see how this plays out.
    Anyway that should do it for now.  1 more paragraph shuold just about do it.  Anyway, joke I'm proud of that I wasted on Twitter but then decided to add here who cares-- I worry about the self esteem of kids in the generation coming after Generation Alpha.  However, it would be a PERFECT time for Beto O Rourke to become president!  Anyway.  Finally started watching Season 3 of The Deuce, but only got 20 minutes into the first episode.  Anyway, that reminds me of something I've Always Been Thinking.  There's a line in a Sublime song where Bradley Nowell is like Much gusto, me llamo Bradley, I'm hornier than Ron Jeremy.  I can't imagine there's a person on the planet who isn't hornier than Ron Jermey.  Dude has sex all the time he's gotta be bored of it completely!  I'm glad I lived in a place and time where it was either cool to listen to Sublime or no one talked about it keep it on the down low that sorta stuff.  Hey!  That should do it for now.  See you Folks at some other time.

-1:37 P.M.

Monday, December 2, 2019

You Give What You Get
   
 Well, that sounds a lot better than Getting What You Give.  Who knows if that's gonna pay off in the long run!  You're putting a lot of faith in the universe and/or other people to give back what you gave.  You don't know if they're gonna reciprocate at all! No, better to wait till you get something, so you know for sure you can give what you got without worrying you won't get what you give.  Also, The New Radicals?  I know their most popular song and I can safely say I Don't Find Them Radical At All.  Not even new, at this point.  HEY WE'RE THE NEW RADICALS WHAT'S NEW ABOUT US? IT'S THAT WE'RE NOT THAT RADICAL SO THAT'S AN INTERESTING AND NEW WAY TO USE THE WORD RADICAL.  Ya got me there.
    Hey!  Saw my therapist today.  She was all like Hey and I was like Wass Goin' On and she was like Yeah What Else and I was like Check This Out! and she was like cool cool and I was like well see ya next month!  I like having a therapist and psychiatrist.  The main difference is psychiatrist can write prescriptions, while a run-of-the-mill therapist can't.  But why do I need the therapist at all, then?  Exact same stuff covered for each session.  I'm gonna write an angry letter to someone as soon as I figure out who to write it to and Why.  Anyway having a Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with cream cheese and I'm a little upset how sweet the bagel is.  I mean, obviously, cinnamon and cream cheese, you expect some very very light sweetness.  But this is crazy!  It's like I'm actually eating bread thats cinnamon flavored and has lots of raisins.
    The point is I can't wait until my next walk so I can buy a bottle of alcohol with rouglhy 30-40 quarters to augment the 10 dollar bill I have!  There was a period in my life where I ONLY used quarters for alcohol.  But that was just to buy those Single Serving Mini Bottles like you'd find in some sort of refrigerator in some sort of hotel room in some sort of vacation retreat On Earth.  Oh well ya live and learn.  AnyAnyway, I watched The Irishman, and I wanted to like it, and I did to some extent, but I just kept thinking about the negative implications of this technology that made the actrs look younger.  Seems like that technology could be used for evil!  Not necessarily making people look younger, just in general. SCARY STUFF.
    Cool.  My birthday is in a week and a half!  I almost said that to my Dad while he was driving me to Therapist.  And then I realized What The Hell I'm Supposed To Randomly Bring Up My Birthday That's In 10 Days Like a Child?  HEY FATHER REMEMBER ME BIRTHDAY TIME I WANT ADORATION AND GIFTS.  And the truth is II'm not gonna get either.  If they wanna give me a present they can start by giving me the present they promised me in 2017 and have since done nothing.  Also, adoration?  They like me well enough I guess but they're probably like I'm not 100% on board with this kids deal in that he's a little off and also is a terrible burden on us GET HIM OUT OF HERE IMMEDIATELY!  Good news I got a good healthy nutritious dinner for tonight.  Half a portion of Baked Chicken.  A Sweet Potato.  Some Broccoli.  Matzo Ball Soup!  I'd like to see you TRY to mess up my day, knowing I have that to look forward to!  GO AHEAD TRY I WANNA SEE.
    Cool!  Fifth paragraph.  Figure I'll take a break after this one, write another 5 paragraphs in an hour or two, see how that goes.  Anyway.  Maybe have worn my glasses 2 times in the last 2 weeks.  I was going into The Whole Deal trying to wear contacts 2 times a week.  I did a complete 360 Degrees Minus 100 Degrees Minus another 80 Degrees.  Hey I know you went to college how many degrees do you have. Just One. That's pretty good Still Almost A Straight Line I LIKE THAT.  Anyway.  I guess I can finally start Season 3 of The Deuce: Part III Season III.  I guess I can see myself finally doing that now.  So, see ya in a bit!

-12:58 P.M.

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