It's April You Idiots

Friday, April 20, 2018

Hopefully This'll Be Something

      Alright! Been a while. Let's see if I still have Entry Power in me. I guess one paragraph could be Update About My Life. Been doin' the open mics. Gonna do a show next Wednesday with a Poet friend of mine. Alternate doing poetry and my songs, that's good. He wants me to play music in the background of his poetry, though. Which is a problem. Because I don't know how to play the guitar. Also, I don't know what his poetry is about. How'm I supposed to play appropriate music? I don't know, it's a brain buster. I'm gonna go in with the idea that it'll work itself out. That usually doesn't work out for me. Oh well, whatever. Anyway. More or less quit drinking, except for once a week. Haven't drank at home for 2 weeks, only drink during Open Mic. So I got that going for me. I might lose weight as a result! That's my theory.
    Cool. Now, goof balls and funny bones time. Hmm. How does this work again. Just start typing and jokes come out, right? That's my memory. My life has been pretty boring. Gotta start a new phase or something. But what. Too late to register for Grad School for the Fall. Too early to register for Grad School for the Next Fall. Gettin' a job sounds like hard work. Learnin' how to drive, that could work, but my parents are against it. As long as I'm drinking, I can't learn to drive. I only drink once a week! 50% of drivers drink at least once a week, right? Also, I'm not stupid. I would never drink and drive. Because I place some value on my life and whatnot. That's the real kicker. They don't trust that I'm mentally smart enough to not drink and drive.
    Pele. That's the real kicker. Only Soccer Player I could think of. What was the origin of America calling Football "Soccer." Yeah, there's this game called Football. Everyone plays it. Let's make up a new name for it. America, am I right? Probably was because we already called American Football "Football." There goes that joke. Anyway, what the what. I don't get soccer or hockey. Also, other sports. I feel like I've riffed on this all I can already. Talked about how you should make three people defend the goal, you can't lose. Talk about how losing in Beer Pong is actually winning, because theoretically you want to drink alcohol. That's all I can think of. Sports! Get a load of that.
    Jeeeeez. Fourth paragraph. Also, the cup of water for washing off the Ping Pong Ball in Beer Pong-- who are you foolin? That's not cleaning off shit. It falls on the floor, you dunk it in water, you think that gets any bacteria on it? But you're so desperate to continue your precious, precious Beer Pong that you just shrug it off. Close enough. Anyway. You should go the Baseball Route, go into Beer Pong with several dozen balls. A ball hits the ground, throw it off to someone watching the game. Now he's got a souvenir and you've got a clean ball to contaminate your beer. I've got a really good drinking game. Here's how it works. Every time you want to take a drink of alcohol, you do it. That's the only rule. Probably made that joke before too. Sounds familiar.
    I don't know. Fifth paragraph. Life without drinking is pretty much the same as life with drinking. If it didn't have calories, though, I'd still be drinking. Might as well do something. Anyway, jeez. Goofballs, funny bones, where are you? I don't know. Poker Site hasn't worked for me in about a month. So none of that goin' on. Dramatically increased my playing of Solitaire, though. So that's good. Anyway. Should start doin' new music. No inspiration, though! Whatta jip. Hey, Queens College is gonna mail me my diploma within the next few weeks! Alright! Finally, a diploma. I never got my Stuyvesant Diploma. I got a certificate for it, figured that was close enough. If I ever need to prove I graduated from Stuyvesant I could probably call them up and they'd have records somewhere. Maybe I can even get them to give me a Diploma, 12 years later. Hmm. That sounds like fun.
    Sixth paragraph. Aiming for 10, cause I figure if I write 5 more paragraphs, there might be some goofballs. I wanna get Barber Scissors for myself. The electric razor I have is pretty good for short facial hair, but I gotta trim some of it to get it to that level. Also, I get to put them in a jar filled with an unknown but very inviting blue liquid. I want to see what that's all about! Jeez. If you're doing a show that week at same venue of Open Mic, they let you go on earlier. That's the real good part of doing it. I've found my favorite part of performing lately is rejoining the audience after I went. And enjoying the one or two positive comments I get. I go on early, I get to rejoin the audience for hours! Think of all the praise and adoration I'll get.
    Seventh paragraph. Still looking forward to getting my TV as a birthday present. My birthday was over four months ago. Oh well, the wait makes it all the more sweet when I finally get it! Jeez. I like making lists of my top 10 or 20 favorite movies. I do it every couple of months in case I ever need to have a prolonged conversation with someone about my favorite movies. Here's some themes that I've observed-- several movies about prison. Several movies about zombies. That's about it. Also, several super hero movies, but that's not uncommon or anything, sure. What else. Prison and Zombies, I'm a happy guy! I think there was a Re-Animator sequel that took place in a jail. I saw it once. So I guess I know there was. Wasn't that great, though.
    Eighth paragraph. What the what. Sometimes I miss taking classes at Queens College. Sometimes I don't. Get off my back about it, alright?! Jeez. Not sure how to deal with Franchises when making my list of favorite movies. I'm not gonna list several movies from one franchise in the list, that's rediculous. But when listing the one movie, do I just put my favorite one, or go The Dark Knight Trilogy as if it counts for one spot. I demand answers! Also, how much should I incorporate movies I really liked as a child, and/or really like as an adult due to nostalgia reasons. I demand answers! Maybe I should make a list of 10 movies I predict I will like as a Later Adult due primarily to nostalgia reasons. Ones I can either take or leave as of now, but 20 years from now, will really get me going. I've given myself a lot to think about.
    Alright! Thinking about things! Sounds like fun to me. Oh, right. Another exciting thing about the show next Wednesday. I'm thinking about bringing my Electric Guitar to do that. Man oh man, would that mix things up. Alright! Jeez. Hey, it's the ninth paragraph. Just chugging right along. That's a word, right? That could be used in that context? Right? Right? I don't know. That's why I asked you. It's 4/20. Sometimes I think about wanting to smoke marijuana again. Not a lot. Just one puff or two. See how that goes. Oh well. I used to have a neighbor with a poodle named puff. Terrified me. Not the neighbor, the dog. Anyway, jeez.
    10th paragraph. Pretty sure this has been a waste of time. Anyway. Maybe I should see a movie tomorrow. That sounds like Fun and a Half. Also, do I put Cop and a Half on my list of favorite movies. That would be a list of 20. Not crackin' the top 10, that's for sure. A Quite Place sounds good, but I don't like the no dialogue thing. Sounds boring. Dialogue is the best part of movies! Words! Now This I Can Get Behind! What else. Maybe I can see Super Troopers II and stand outside the theater begging for marijuana. What else. Tenth paragraph right now. Gonna go for a little bit more. Because I feel indebted to you for reading this so far, that the possibility of Joke-Em-Ups is a chance that I feel I have to take.
    Cool. This'll be the last paragraph. I can't think of anything more. What else. I can't wait to get my new TV. That'll inspire me. I'll be consuming all new sorts of TV and Movies, that'll permeate my brain by osmosis, write new blog and music based on that. Maybe I should watch Osmosis Jones if it's available. Nah. Anyway. Eight minutes until 5. TV and Movies start every half hour! If I finish this by 5, I can watch things starting at 5 the way God intended-- when they start. It's called strategy you morons. I don't know. Life is boring. In retrospect, makes sense that Entry would be boring. I'll see ya later.

-4:53 P.M.