Saturday, November 24, 2018
This Is Garbage, Right?
That's what I said while leaving the movie
theater to a Theatre Worker standing next to a bin. Then I realized I
could extrapolate it to every facet of my life. I like how I spelled
Theater two different ways in one sentence. Variety is the spice of life.
Anyway, Hi! New entry and whatnot. Reading the last one a few days
ago, I realized, man, what a clunker. Just writing aimlessly
doesn't always pay off, it turns out. Maybe I will take that life lesson
and make this entry better. Who knows! Let's see. What's new
in life-- lets get that out of the way. Lets make it funny.
Hey, Wacky Times, Life Is Fun, What's Crazy Silly in regards to the life o' me?
Dieting and Not Losing Life Force In Poker and Watching DVDs of Tales From The
I think if in 2016 Hillary Clinton's campaign slogan was
Hillaryious '16 she would have won the electoral college. You can't
argue with an opinion. Opinions are like assholes-- everyone's got one--
and some people have two. That would be fun. Especially if you get
to choose which asshole to use whenever you're using the toilet. If your
body makes that decision for you, it's still fun, because of the
unpredictability. But if you get to make that decision yourself, that's
livin' the high life. Anyway, jeez. I think I'm addicted to sugar.
For Thanksgiving, I planned ahead of time to let the reins loose a little bit
and overeat. Turns out, I ate a reasonable Thanksgiving Dinner, but was
eating Assorted Cookies all day. And I couldn't stop. And now, when
I think about it, it's the sugar, stupid. That's another good
campaign slogan Hillary Clinton could have used in 2016. What a wasted
And that could be her campaign slogan for 2020!
What A Wasted Opportunity. Not 100% sure what that means. I
get that it's a reference to her 2016 campaign, and sort of suggests that this
time around she may or may not waste the opportunity again. I guess that
makes sense. Third Times a Charm! There we go. That's
her 2020 slogan. Hillary Clinton wants Europe to stop taking in immigrants
to appease the Far Right. She's a Progressive Who Gets Things Done!
Wait a second... it turns out she's not progressive nor does she get things
done. Everything I've ever been told is a lie. What else is
crappening. The 2020 Race To Become The Candidate will be beginning in a
few weeks. I choose to support The Idea That I hope that Everyone Has a
Alright! I don't get this idea that Democrats have to
be unified and do no internal fighting because that's just what the Republicans
want. Seems like we have the ability to walk and chew gum at the same
time. We can fight internally to decide how best to move forward, and at
the same time, be united in our opposition to Trump and Friends. And it's
not like moderates will be turned off. Hey, some Democrats are
progressives and want to advance their vision of the party. Some are
moderates and want to advance their vision of the party. This Is
Too Confusing! I'm just gonna support Trump now, even though I don't want
to. Call me when you get it together!
Doesn't make a lick of sense. Taste is the sense
for licking. Cracked that code. I don't get this idea that there's
phantom tasting based on smell. I've read that several times. Oh,
this food, you think you taste it-- you don't really. You're just smelling
it. Get out of here with that bullshit. I know the difference
between taste and smell! Stop lying. Anyway, jeez. Fifth
paragraph. I don't know. On Tuesday I was going to get a Caesar
Salad for the first time in, I don't know, half a year? A year? (I
don't know why I phrased that as a question. I don't actually expect you
to know the answer). Then, two hours later, can't eat romaine lettuce.
It'll Kill Ya! What are the odds?! I guess 1 out of 180 or
so. If I eat it every Half a Year. The math wasn't as hard as I
anticipated. Oh, but it turns out, it also effects my Chipotle Order.
So that increases the odds it'll affect me dramatically. So Dramatic!
Someone should write a play about it.
Gotta start working on Application for Queens College Grad
School. Starting to realize there's a good chance that's how my life is
gonna go. Returning to school next fall. So better get it together
now. The nerve of Shakespeare to make up new words. If I wrote a
play and 20% of the words were entirely made up, people would think I was an
idiot! Probably. Actually, now that I think about it, seems like a
good idea. Just write a play with new words. And not even a made up
language that has internal logic and means something to me. Just nonsense
sounds. See, you think you're hearing nonsense sounds,
but you're really just seeing the people move their lips seemingly make
nonsense sounds, but you don't really hear it. Get out of here
with that bullshit. I know the difference between sound and sight!
Translated to English, Caesar Salad means King Salad.
That sounds like it could lend itself to some sort of yuk-em-up. I don't
know. Anyway. I just imagine a salad resting on a throne and people
bowing down to it saying All Hail King Salad! The point is I'd
rather have a President Salad than Trump. I think everybody would be fine
with that, actually. I bet if Salad ran in 2020 it would win by a
landslide. Both Democrats and Republicans could get behind a president
which is an inanimate object and could essentially do no harm. And that's
the slogan of the presidency. First, Do No Harm. Second, Don't
Eat The President-- You May Get E. Coli.
That's a great platform for an Independent to run on in 2020.
Won't Do a Thing! Republicans like it because it means Business and
Corporate Interests will run wild and unopposed, and Democrats would like it
because we're used to Hmm, it seems Everything right now the President
does is a significant step back for society... doing nothing would be a
Huge improvement! What paragraph are we into. Eighth.
Woah cool down. No need for Bolding Words! Take a breath. I
was listening to a recording I had of me playing my music in public and I
realized that me fucking up midway through the song and struggling to get back
on track happens more often than I realized. And it takes people out of
the song to a bigger degree than I realized. Good thing I haven't done
the open mic in a while! I've been embarrassing myself without me knowing
If you're embarrassing yourself, but you yourself are not
embarrassed, is that really embarrassing? Seems like a philosophical
conundrum. It's like the sound of one hand clapping. Except, it's
the sound of one hand being forced to clap for someone who doesn't deserve
Audience Praise because he just Embarrassed Himself. That does bring up an
important question, though, not just What Is The Sound of One Hand Clapping, but
What is That One Hand Clapping For, And Does It Make a Difference? What
else is going on. Also, if you're only using one hand to clap, is that a
sign that you only mean 50% of the response of actually clapping? Jeez.
I like eating three meals a day at roughly the same time. It really makes
me feel like more of an Adult. You know, conforming to society's idea of
how we should go about eating stuff? Now I'm doing what everyone else
I don't know. Tenth paragraph. Going for 15 makes
sense at this point. Not a lot to do this weekend. Drank a little
bit yesterday at the theater. Man, if you're seeing Creed II,
you wanna be Fucked Up! That shit is Trippy! I've always been in
the habit for years of having a drink or two before seeing a movie in the
theater. Not sure why. For Creed II, though, it seemed especially
egregious, because it's like, this is about a guy training all the time and
whatnot, he's not drinking while he's training! You shouldn't be drinking
watching him training, that's the opposite of getting into the spirit of the
movie. But, also, hey watching movies is trippy as fuck gotta get
fucked up for this shit.
The reason all movies are trippy to me is because they
represent our culture of that week distilled, both in terms of what we're being
told and shown to watch, and what everyone is watching, and it always
feels strangely to participate in that situation to me. In a good way,
mostly, though. So Great I got that going for me! 11th paragraph.
All I wanna do is eat sugar. Not isolated. That doesn't seem
appetizing. But just stuff with sugar in it. I hope I get Diabetes.
Then I can't eat sugar anymore! Seems like an evolutionary advantage,
having diabetes. You can't eat sugar anymore! It's like being short.
Don't have to eat as much theoretically, so you won't consume as much fat and
nonsense that's bad for your organs, which are the same size. Also, I
don't know what Diabetes is or what it does to your body.
That's my story and it's sticking to me. Anyway.
I used to have a drawer for socks, and underneath it, a drawer for
boxers/underwear. Now I have two drawers for socks and underwear.
Been this way for a while. I don't have the time or will to separate
boxers and underwear now after doing a laundry. I'm a busy guy!
Also, my Mom does my laundry for me. I'm a busy guy! That's a good
slogan for Gary Busey if he wants to run in 2020. I'm a Busey Guy!
Seems like it would fit the kind of campaign he would run on. A lot of
people are saying we need a celebrity to run in 2020 for the Democrats, why not
Gary Busey? He knows Trump well because of Celebrity Apprentice.
That's my input on things.
Why would any of these celebrities appear on Celebrity
Apprentice. Seems like a step down for celebrities to suddenly become an
apprentice. I'd watch a show called Celebrity Mentor, though, that's a
good idea. No I wouldn't. Well, it depends. I wouldn't
watch a show where Celebrities mentor regular people. I'd watch a show
where celebrities mentor other celebrities. As long as the celebrity isn't
Trump. For whatever reason I don't want to watch him do stuff, I don't
know why. What paragraph are we into now. 13th. Awesome.
The more I think about what I already have for my Pilot Script, the more I
realize it's nothing special. So it seems like my prophesy that the most
likely outcome of writing this is that I don't finish it is getting closer to
being fulfilled every day.
14th paragraph! Penultimate? We'll just have to
wait and see. Well, we don't have to wait. We're busy either writing
this or reading this. But we won't see for a little bit. I realized
how much I hate eating the same dinner for two or three days in a row. I
always knew I wasn't fond of it, but now I realize, man, if only I could eat
something new every night, I'd have it made. But we always get
delivery, and I either get something where it's a large enough portion I don't
want to/can't finish it in one night, or I get a delivery for myself where I
have to/am compelled to based on the delivery charge where I have to order extra
so I have to eat it several nights in a row. 75-90% of the time! I
never go a week eating something new every night. Whatta jip.
15th paragraph. Not only does it make the second or
third night of eating the same thing worse, because it's the same thing I just
ate, it makes the first night of eating it worse, because I'm already
thinking, man I gotta eat this tomorrow too! I don't even particularly
want it now, knowing I better get used to this because this is my future.
Whatta jip. At this point seems like I'm gonna go for 20 paragraphs.
5 and a half more! Got nothin' better to do! I got some new books.
Kevin Hart, Jeff Tweedy, and Brian Posehn. There's a trio that should get
started on some project together. I don't know. I only have one
season of Tales From The Crypt on DVD and I only have 2 out of the three discs
of that season in the DVD box. So if I wanna continue watching Tales From
The Crypt after tonight I better get a new TV with Netflix or YouTube
capabilities soon! Or start watching it on my computer. Like a
I ain't goin' out like a Chump, no way. In Creed II
there's a scene where he's watching something on a Tablet, or something like
that, and I was like, I don't have a thing like that where I could watch
stuff on it like that. What else have I been missing out on?!?!
I don't know. Having a semi-deaf girlfriend/wife, too. Oh well, such
is life. I'm at a point where my weight is pretty reasonable, but I still
got that saggy stomach thing where you were overweight for a while and you lost
weight but your stomach still ain't good. I keep telling myself I should
do sit-ups every day, because that'll exercise that region of my body, but I
never find the time. I'm a Busy Guy, I think that's already been
17th paragraph. I don't know. I'm pretty sure my
body demands less calories per day than it should. For a while now,
compared to the amount of calories I calculate I eat each day, I've been losing
weight at a lesser rate than I should. And I'm pretty sure I'm not
underestimating the calories I'm consuming. So yeah That's a Jip and
Whatnot. I read that the air pollution in California because of the
wildfires is the equivalent to smoking 14 cigarettes a day. Does that mean
I should move to California so I don't have to buy cigarettes anymore?
Seems like I'd save a ton of money just breathing in the polluted air. I
guess. What else and whatnot. I don't know if its the movie theater
I go to now, or if its just what they do now, but they show way more trailers
before the movie than I'm used to. It used to be like 3 or 4. Now,
it's like 7 or 8. And I'm a guy who used to love trailers. They were
the highlight of the movie! But 7 or 8? Every time a new trailer
starts, I'm like, Jesus, again? I'm never gonna get out of here!
The good news is a lot of future movies seem pretty good
so I think we're heading somewhere real sustainable as a culture. If
movies in the next 6 months are good, it bodes well for further in the future
movies, so I think we're on the right track and all is well and whatnot. I
find it odd that 90-95% of the audience for Creed II was black. Does that
mean there were white people that were like, Hey, you wanna see the new movie
about Boxing? What skin color is the Boxer? He's black.
Pass. Well, as Bernie Sanders might say, just because you don't
want to root for a boxer because he's black doesn't mean you're a racist.
Oh well. Turns out people aren't infallible. Who Knew!
19th paragraph. At this point, over 20 seems totally
plausible. It makes a little bit of sense to me. I have a hard time
rooting for any boxer because they're taller and more fit than me. I can't
relate to that! Still, though, between two boxers fighting, you gotta pick
one to root for. May as well be the one whose narrative you've been
following for two movies. If I was around in the 1970's, I guess I would
have been like, I can't root for a boxer named 'Rocky!' That's not
my name? Can't Relate! My theory about Rocky is that The
Beatles 'Rocky Raccoon' is about him and they went forward in time to learn his
story and then went back into the present to tell it. The present then being
what the past is now. It almost makes too much sense!
How can something make too much sense. Simulates
taste even though you only smell it. Can't Happen! No Way!
I Refuse To Believe It! 20th paragraph now. Oh well. I don't
know if I just got lucky or what, but the 2/3rds of one season of Tales From The
Crypt I have has 2 out of my top 3 favorite episodes. My top three
favorites are the one with Jon Lovitz, the one with the two gamblers who don't
like each other, and the one with Don Rickles and Bobcat Goldthwait.
That's my story and it sticks to me. I was watching The Pursuit Of
Happyness the other day and it's basically just Will Smith Either Catching A Bus
Or A Train or Not Catching A Bus Or A Train over and over again. What a
21st paragraph. Let's keep it going. The point is
that Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts are a worthy alternative to S'Mores Pop Tarts.
What great news. I just read the headline of a New York Times article
(Reading headlines is the way to get your news!) about how
The Democrats didn't do well enough appealing to rural white voters and they
have to change that. What The Hell? There are people who support
Trumpism based on his personality and his politics! Why can't Democrats
accommodate them? Because they're fucking the other side! They
support the other guy and party! That's why you idiots. No one's
asking What can Trump do to gain the support of Michael from
Crazysheet? Because there's Nothing! I don't like the guy!
I support the other party! I feel very strongly about this. No I
Oh well. 22nd paragraph. On pace for
25 at this point I guess. Or 22! Or somewhere in between.
We'll find out what happens together. I gotta start making a conscious
effort to eat less sugar. Just pick non-sugar foods when I'm hungry.
It's not that hard. Well, it's sort of hard. But not that hard!
That's what I just said. Cool. Anyway, starting to hit a wall
while writing this. So I guess this may be nearing the end. Must
keep goin' forward, though. Only way to go. It's gonna be
interesting to see if I could fit in the next entry into November or if it'll be
in December. Real, real interesting. I don't know. Whattado
now after this entry. Gotta be something on TV or something, right?
One would imagine. I'll see ya later.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Title? Check. Entry? Pending...
I guess. What's up Party People.
I'm gonna write an entry now if that's okay with everybody. Today's
Thursday. Nothin' notable going on today. Just the same ol' grind.
Getting into more of a routine with my diet. Trying to eat at the same
times consistently for each day. I read that's good for some reason.
And any chance to increase the OCDness of my behavior seems like a worthwhile
cause. Anyway. No Save Em Ups over the last week! Nothing
funny has happened. For some reason, this small thing just came to mind
though-- My Mom texted me a few days ago how the Democratic Senator won in
Arizona. I had just read it an hour ago. I reply, Yeah, I Read.
Meaning, Yeah, I ( pronounced 'red'), thanks for thinking of me, but I
already know. I realized it could be interpreted, Yeah, I (pronounced
'reed'), fuck you, I can read the news myself without your help!
Classic Family Comedy. Thanksgiving is in a
week. We're gonna celebrate by doing what everybody else does. It's
a real conformist family. Anyway. Was thinking about drinking a
little throughout this entry. I'm back to drinking about once a week-- not
too bad! This would count as the Once This Week. So far, though,
nothin'! Sometimes when my Mom is texting with my brother she asks me to
help phrase her texts. That seems wrong. Texting ain't a good way to
communicate if all your messages can be focus grouped by the people around you.
That's not the way conversation is supposed to work! I've had it up to
here with focus grouping! Anyway, what else. I'd love to have
a focus group for this website. Really get some insight into what people
Turn the knob to the right when you're confused.
Turn the knob to the left when you're bored. That's the binary of
reactions to these entries. Also, you should get prizes for being the
first to finish reading it. Anyway. It's a good thing New York
City/State combined to give Amazon 3 billion dollars to set up in Long Island
City. It's not like that money could be used for better things than
corporate welfare. Besides, what's 3 billion dollars anyway. I could
make that in 999993818119833 weeks. I read that if you combine all the
money various states hand out to corporations to set up in their states instead
to other states, you get an insane amount of money. That's basically just
used to shuffle things around. I've had it up to here with shuffling
Anyway, fourth paragraph. It's a good thing we gave
Amazon 3 billion dollars to set up in New York. Not a lot of businesses
are comfortable setting up in New York City and we desperately need to change
that. Anyway. I get that there's a lot of justified talk about how
terrible the NYC transit system is, and how long it takes, and how things are
always broken, but from my experience, I can't think of ever having any problems
in the last 16 years of using it on and off. LIRR is totally reliable.
The busses and subways I've had to take, I've never had a problem with. I
guess I'm just lucky. Or whatever resources the city does have to spend on
transit happen to benefit the kind of commutin' I do. I knew I
would be lucky in some respect somewhere in my life at least once! Kind of
a shame it's wasted on transit convenience, though. Even Mussolini made
the trains run on time. And he was a real jerk.
Why couldn't Italy just put in power someone with experience
conducting. He'd know how to get trains running on time, without the
fascism. Anyway, what else is going on. What was Mussolini's
platform. I'll make the trains run on time! Because they don't
run on time as of now! Because of The Jews! What else is going
on. I hate that global Zionist conspiracy to make trains not run on time.
And I hate that I can't figure out why. I don't get Y2K. The
thing when people were worried computers would go crazy in the year 2000 because
they'd think it was 1900. First of all, give computers some credit.
Second of all, do we really need a catchy Y2K phrase for that?
Let's just call it, The Moment Computers Will Go Crazy. Y2k?
Year 2 thousand. In three letters/numbers. Great. Catchy!
That's what people were worried about in the 90's. It
was a simpler time. Sixth paragraph. I just hope in the year 20000
computers don't think it's the year 10000. Better start workin' on
debugging the computers now to prepare. I'm sick of acknowledging how
the year keeps increasing by one every year. I've been seeing a therapist
consistently since 2008, and I honestly believe every year we both agree
verbally, man, it's the year 201x in a month, can you believe it, it's the
future! When will this stop. At what year do we finally accept,
okay, the year keeps increasing by one. 2019 is the future now. Then
it'll be 2020. Let's just accept that fact and consider it the present and
get on with our lives.
My guess is this probably started because we're into a
new century. In the 1980's, 1990's, we've had a chance to let the 20th
century sink in. Not that much of a difference by the second half of the
century. Now we're in the 21st century. We're fighting the calendar
trying to creep back up into the higher numbers and no year completely does it
so we always feel like the next year will do it. So the next year feels
like the future, but once we're into the next year, we get used to the year, but
by the end of that year, the next year feels like the future.
Turn knob to the right for confusion.
I don't know why you're reading this either. Eighth
paragraph! I don't know. I guess I'll have lunch when this entry is
over. Or perhaps mid-entry, even. I watched Last of The Mohicans
yesterday and man was that a terrible movie. I don't think I need to
elaborate. Just watch it yourself. Probably one of the worst movies
I've ever seen. Anyway. I'm gonna have a drink now. Because
Why Not Gotta Do Something. Also, if I do my drinking for the week this
afternoon, I feel like I could limit it to 1-3 drinks, whereas if I do it during
the evening, I'd probably end up binging 4-6 drinks. So I'm actually
drinking less by drinking now. It's my logic, deal with it.
Ninth paragraph. At this point, no idea how long
this entry will be. Haven't made much progress with my pilot. Got
another page of dialogue since last week and a little more cohesive
understanding of the sequence of plot of the episode. So I'm chipping
away. Also starting to look at the entirety of the thing from different
perspectives which can only help one would imagine. I don't know.
I'm having fun being OCD while planning out future Eating Schedules.
There's room for variation, but I came up with a pretty good schedule for
Finishing Dieting and then Maintaining. For Finishing Dieting, roughly
follow this for 1500 calories a day-- 200/300/600/300/100. 200 calories
for breakfast, 300 for lunch, 600 for dinner, 300 for after dinner snacking, 100
miscellaneous (Coffee, Alcohol, etc). For Maintaining Weight--
300/600/300/600/300/100. 300 for breakfast, 600 for lunch, 300 for between
lunch and dinner snack (this is where the splurge calories are!), 600 for
dinner, 300 for after dinner snack, 100 miscellaneous. That assumes I
start doing semi-heavy treadmilling/ellipticaling once a day instead of 2 walks
a day, which actually increases the amount of calories burned despite only
having to do it once a day.
The point is Being OCD Is Fun! You get to work with
numbers and think about the future and try to pretend that you'll settle into a
nice healthy routine which will theoretically make your life great in theory.
10th paragraph. Hey I poured myself a drink! Perhaps I'll drink
it. Don't know what to eat for dinner today. I have 2nd Half Of
McDonalds, or I could get Chocolate Chip Pancakes and finish McDonalds tomorrow.
Sure I'm dieting. What do you eat when you're dieting?
The point is it's the 10th paragraph. Aim for between 15-20 is the thing
to do at this point. Also the good part about spreading out the calories
that much is that it incorporates the idea that I wake up and go to sleep at
reasonable, normal times. Go to sleep around 12 or 1, wake up around 9 or
10. That's pretty reasonable and normal for a guy without a job, I think.
Well, without a job or a social life. Job, you
gotta get up even earlier. Social life, you'd go to sleep later and get up
later. I got Absolutely Nothing so I feel like this is the right schedule
for me. Anyway. Queens College Creative Writing Graduate Program
requires the application to be submitted by February 15. I guess I can do
that. I lost most of my enthusiasm for it over time, but typing this out
right now, meh, I might enjoy it. It's no Having a Job and certainly no
Having a Job I Like, but it's somethin' at least. Anyway.
11th paragraph. I can make it to 15 in no time! I was thinking about
how they say time is the fourth dimension but I don't really get it. If
time is just an illusion and whatnot, wouldn't there be more fluidity? You
know, psychic experiences and stuff like that. That would be my guess.
Hmm. I don't know. I guess. I was reading
up on Nancy Pelosi and she's pretty good. She's got the right opinion on
most of the issues, but I'd still prefer someone new as speaker. Nancy
Pelosi is from California and that's a long way away. I don't think she
knows about East Coast problems and won't work to address them. Just one
man's opinion! Or, if you take my multiple personalities into account,
just 6 guys, 2 girls, and an aardvark's opinion! I don't think anyone
really knows what an aardvark is. We sort of get it's the first word in
the dictionary but beyond that don't give a crap enough to really consider what
it is. I always assumed it was like an ant eater. And I don't really
know what an ant eater is! I sort of picture it as having a trunk which
sucks up ants. Could be right or wrong on that one. Anyway.
13th paragraph! I feel bad for people in Florida and
Georgia. I think I've been guilty of sort of accepting the narrative of
Well, we won the house by a pretty decent margin, held our own in the senate,
did good in many governorships-- oh well if they steal some elections here and
there. But there are people who live in Florida and Georgia! And
they have to deal with Oh, I see, they're stealing the election of my
representatives. That's gotta suck! Also, by stealing, I mean to
say, they're close enough in the votes that the suppression and ill designed
ballots and whatnot obviously tipped the scales. Not that the Democrat
will necessarily end up with more votes and that won't be honored. Which
may happen, too. So, sure, what else.
14th paragraph! I don't believe it. I find it
odd that I was sort of able to read music but mostly not when I was in Chorus in
middle school. Like, I could see, oh, that note's lower, better sing a
bit lower, and it sounded right, but in fact I couldn't really read the
scales. I think I just figured out how to copy the notes everyone else was
doing in real time, and coupled that with the little I did get from reading the
music, and I was able to make it work. So I had that going for me.
I got there by thinking about tipping the scales and then thinking about music
notation. That settles that. I had a strange feeling last night,
thinking that, tomorrow's Thursday night, and there's no The Office, Parks
and Recreation, Community, and the fourth thing, oh, right, 30 Rock.
They haven't been on the air in at least 5 years and I just got this weird
instinct that I'm supposed to be watching the NBC lineup tonight.
Anyway. Halfway through the one drink. My
guess is I'll end up having two drinks, which I find agreeable. What a
crappy entry. You win some, you lose some. I'm gettin' close to
being able to wear my Size Small shirts. I may be there already but I'm
gonna wait another couple of weeks to see. I got plans for the future is
the point. Whenever I think of the show Community I think of Community
Chest from Monopoly. If there was a girl in your high school who let
people feel her up a lot, it might be called a Community Chest. Also, meh.
Possibly 5 more paragraphs to go after this one. Seems like one way to
live my life. I guess.
3/4ths through the entry theoretically! What else
is there to say. I don't like this growing narrative that Okay, looks
like Trump is gonna be around till 2020-- that's our chance! This guy
belongs in prison yesterday. Don't just accept we've gotta put up
with this guy for another 2 years! Get rid of the jerk. Also, don't
work with him. He has no right to be president at all! Don't
negotiate and find common ground with a criminal. Anyway, what else is
going on. I may just stop drinking after this one drink is finished.
That seems responsible and whatnot. What else is going on. I wrote
the theme song to my pilot. You know, the song that theoretically plays
over the opening and/or closing credits. It's one and a half minutes of
fun! And you all doubted me.
17th paragraph. I don't think I've read a thing in
the past week or two. Other than the Democratic Senator won in Arizona.
I don't know about this Michael Avenatti arrest. One the one hand, I don't
like him or partially care about him. On the other hand, maybe I was too
quick to judge him for potential domestic violence without hearing all the
facts. On the extra hands, whatever. I just don't buy into him being
a presidential candidate. Hey, I'm a lawyer who seems like a pretty
good lawyer I guess! I have no experience in politics and you haven't
heard of me before last year. Let me represent you in this tumultuous and
generation defining time, an opportunity to nominate a great president and make
America good again and sure I'll be that guy!
Sure. Whatever. 18th paragraph. I keep
watching Get Shorty because I'm looking forward to the time when I'm done
watching Get Shorty and don't have to watch it anymore. Too violent!
It's not fun to watch, but it's good so I have to watch it. I'll be done
soon though. Thank God. The point is I get to eat lunch when this
entry is over. Wonderful. Since yesterday, I was leaning towards
getting Chocolate Chip Pancakes for dinner tonight. Now I'm having second
thoughts. I can see myself finishing the McDonalds tonight and enjoying
that more. Plus, more responsible, finish the leftovers as soon as
possible, that's the way to go I would think. There's an African American
character in my show who's name is Roland and I realized I might have gotten
that fron Roland Martin. Actually, probably not-- his name was Roland
before I figured out he was black. But maybe he was always black, I just
didn't know it, and I was only able to extrapolate that because of Roland
Writing is hard! Good name, though. Roland
Martin. Too bad I can't name my character Roland Martin. Roland
alone, fine, that's okay. Roland Martin? Already exists!
Anyway, what else is going on. I once did mushrooms with a guy named
Roland. Not him specifically, he was one of five people there.
That's where I got the name from to the best of my knowledge. Anyway, what
else is going on. One and a half paragraphs to go. I like reading Al
Sharpton on Twitter, he writes inspiring tweets every day. But I'm scared
that by officially Following Him I implicitly accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and
Savior. And I don't think I'm ready to make such a commitment. Oh
well, such is life.
Last paragraph! Anyway. Not a lot of yuk-em-ups,
but you still read it, right? What else is going on. I want to get a
computer that literally can't hook up to the internet. So I can
work on my pilot without the temptation of going online. I would guess
that's not a completely unfamiliar concept to writers. I also want to go
online without the temptation of being on a computer. Or anything.
Just streamline Google Chrome into my brain and whatnot. I don't know.
I feel like doing an extra paragraph after this one. Seems about right.
The point is what else is going on. Finished my One Drink. Which I
had mixed with Diet Pepsi. I like watching Dr. Pimple Popper. At
first, I was like, there's a show where it's just people going to the
dermatologist? Then I was like, There's a show where it's just
people going to the dermatologist! Finally!
Cool. I got to go up in the attic of my house a few
weeks ago to adjust the heating system in preparation for the long winter ahead
of us. First time I've ever been in the attic! First time I've ever
seen the attic! You can't walk around freely up there or else the
floor/ceiling to the 2nd floor will break. But I was careful and the good
news is there's a shit load of flies and bugs in the attic.
I don't know. What else is going on. Three and a half weeks from
being middle aged. 30 years old. I used to consider middle age to be
like 35-55. Before that, you're young, after that, you're old. I've
had to readjust that assumption as time went on. Now, it's like, 40, maybe
45, to 60, maybe 65. I guess I'll do one more bonus paragraph, now.
That'll be it, though.
I don't know why. What else is going on. On
the look out for music shows to see next year. You know, performed by
bands or solo musicians. That sort of thing. Also, I didn't
figure out the character of Roland was black. I made him black!
I'm in charge here! Ship up or shape out. I don't like the phrase
Lead, Follow, or Get Out Of The Way. Why are those my only choices?
There's a huge spectrum of things I can do. I don't know what else I
can do, now that I think about it, it just seems wrong. I'd probably
be second in line to the leader. Maybe third in line. I don't wanna
make sure Leader's orders are followed or anything, the number 2 has to do that.
I'd be number 3. I'm certainly on board, I'm one of the top followers.
But I don't want any administrative authority or anything.
One more bonus paragraph! That makes 23 paragraphs.
That's a funny number. Oh, here's another option instead of leading,
following, or getting out of the way. Staying Behind. There's a
bunch of people going somewhere, and some people need to get out of the way for
them to get there. I'm just hanging out where we started and not giving a
crap where these people are going. So I got that going for me. Right
now I'm leaning back towards Chocolate Chip Pancakes. I don't know why.
What else is going on. Gonna eat lunch soon. I got that going for
me. Eat Lunch Or Get Out Of The Way. See ya later.
Friday, November 9, 2018
First Comes The Title, Then Comes Marriage...
I forget how the rest of that goes.
Something about a baby coming. Eww. That's gross. No
matter how you choose to interpret it! Anyway, what's up. Midterm
Elections ain't quite over, but they're over enough to know We Did It!
That'll Learn 'Em For Trying To Stop Us From Didding It! I wonder what the
next prolonged thing TV will tell us to pay attention to. Right now it's
Trump installing a lackey to UnDid the Mueller Investigation, which is big news
because it sure seems like obstruction of justice. But based on recent
past experience, by next week we'll be on to something somehow worse.
Can't wait! Oh, and there's also the White House spreading doctored
propaganda video and barring a legitimate journalist from being at the White
House. And Republicans insisting that counting votes is stealing the
election. What a 48 hours!
The good news is Let's All Rally Behind Nancy Pelosi.
She's great! Unless someone can mount a serious challenge to be a better
speaker of the house. Then They're Even Better! But, for now,
She's Great! Anyway. Election Day has come and gone, as has
Tenacious D show, so we're into a new phase of my life. All of us,
together. Let's celebrate every moment of my life, or it's like it was
all for naught! Which I believe is a shipboating reference.
You know, because of nautical miles? How do shipboaters measure nautical
miles. Do they just have a really long one of those ruler-tape-tickers
where you hold it on one side at sea level and then drag it down under the sea?
Seems plausible to me. Plausible! I like the word plausible.
It means, you know, to be like plaus? It's plaus-able.
One day we'll figure out what, "Plaus," means. And
I'll be right there on the front lines! Crazy that a kid who survived the
Las Vegas shooting gets killed in another mass shooting a year later. I
guess that's statistical plausibility for you. It's like if you have a
group of 30 people, odds are there will be at least 2 who share a birthday.
When you have mass shootings every week, all sorts of fun statistical
probabilities are gonna open up! So we got that to be proud of as a
country. I haven't drank at home in a week! Guess I'm back on the
wagon. Which is a phrase for some reason. You know how people on
wagons never drink, but people off wagons are always drinking? Let's make
that a phrase!
Seems about right to me. "Station Wagons," seem
kind of weird to me. Station implies stationary. That's the opposite
of what I want my wagon to be! Let's move on. Not sure the appeal of
trailer park houses. Yeah, I want a house... but I want it to be
somewhere else sometimes. Also, they never leave the trailer park
community! What's the point? Why not just build some cheap small
houses on trailer parks without wheels. You'll save 50 to 200
dollars on account of No Wheels and you won't have to worry about someone
stealing your house while you're off gallivanting around town. Anyway.
Haven't worked on my Pilot in about a week. One would imagine the plot and
characters are solidifying in my mind subconsciously. I'd like to believe
that-- but too much of my subconscious is working on Pilot to be able to fit in
Believing That, as well. Can't multitask that well! Not yet!
Jeez. Fifth paragraph. Early Afternoon entry
today. Got up early for a Doctor's Appointment. Well, it was my
appointment. Surely the Doctor was involved but I think I was the
key person. It was mostly about me and whatnot. The doctor
delivered very little to the content of the appointment at all. Sure, he
asked me how I was doing, and I said, "Fine-- how are you?" but he barely even
answered me. I guess people have a hard time opening up around me.
Something to talk to my doctor about. Anyway, jeez. Still around
10-15 pounds away from Optimal Weight. I've been waiting to get to optimal
weight for what seems like forever! Also Tom Waits is involved somehow.
Those are the three, "Way-T's," I know. Also, Ice-T's more extreme
brother, "Waaaayyy-T." He's like, "T," (which is what I assume
people call Ice-T for short) but even more. Jeez.
They called Tony Soprano, "T," sometimes. Probably
because it's the first letter in his name-- that would be my hypothesis. I
find it interesting how, when the series finale first aired, I was pretty sure
he doesn't die at the end. Wasn't even much of a question. Nope,
he's okay. Then when I re-watched it for the third or fourth time last
year, I was like, Well, of course the guy shot him. It's like a
Rorschach test for where we are as a culture as well as individually at any
given moment in time. I think we have become too sophisticated for
Rorschach tests to have any meaning these days. Maybe when they first came
out, they were all the rage, because people didn't get it was totally
subjective. Now, we know. Someone shows me a Rorschach test, asks me
what I see, I go, Well, I see a Rorschach Test. What else could I see?
I'd probably see a Bat because Batman has made such a
profound impact on us as a culture as well as individually for such a long
period of time. Such is life. Thanksgiving is coming up.
The day after Thanksgiving should be called
YoureWelcomeAlredayGaveYesterday. Actually, no-- scratch that.
Not the idea, the nature of the yuk-em-up itself. Just pretend I didn't
say it at all. Pretty sure I've said this before, but Thanksgiving is a
pretty passive-aggressive name for a holiday. Thanks, Giving.
Well good for you. I'll just leave you alone then. Anyway. I
was watching Get Shorty: The TV Show and thought about giving up my Pilot.
They're already doing TV pretty well, what can I add? How about a show
with 110% less violence. Get Shorty, it's pretty fun while you're watching
it, but afterwards I feel bad for half of the characters for what happened.
Jeez. Eighth paragraph! I guess, definitely
by the new year, they'll start talking about the 2020 election. I'm hoping
for a Warren/O Rourke ticket. It covers all the bases! You get those
two people-- there ya go, all the bases. I just hope we don't elect
P.J. O Rourke to be vice president by accident. And Earl Warren to be
president. Gotta be careful to get those first names Elizabeth and Beto
out there to avoid any confusion from the get-go. That's my contribution.
Anyway. I did a cover for the first time ever at Open Mic last week.
Or the week before. Last time I did it. It was of an unreleased
Elliott Smith song. Sure I'm All About Deep Cuts. So was Elliott
Smith! Nailed it.
Anyway. My favorite part about losing weight is I have
to lean over less and less to see my penis. At this point, barely have to
lean over at all! It's been fun. I was thinking about going to the
Times Square demonstration yesterday to protect the Mueller investigation but
Eh I Didn't Feel Like It. I had a good slogan to write on a
sign, though. Well, by good, it made me laugh, and no one else would have
gotten it. They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Whitaker'
Freedom! So I consider that a missed opportunity. Ninth
paragraph. Jeez. When I signed up with PizzaHut.com, they asked
me if I was a football fan and to choose my favorite football team because
presumably they'll over deals based on if they're playing that day or if they
win or something at least. I told them I was a Jets Fan-- I don't follow
football at all, but I figure if they're gonna offer me deals, I would be a dolt
not to take advantage and at least see what kind of deals I can get. But I
lied and now that's gonna haunt me forever.
What else is going on. Waking up at 8:00 AM, and having
loosened up my diet a bit as I get closer to Optimal Weight, it's gonna be a
rare day when I actually have three solid meals. Breakfast, Lunch,
and dinner. Sounds like a ton of fun. What else is going on.
Still watching a lot of Lifetime Movies. Somehow, makes me feel even worse
than Get Shorty. I know I said I liked the extreme hand-holding that goes
on in those Lifetime movies, but after its done part of my feels like I just
wasted two hours having my intelligence demeaned. It is good to watch,
though, to see what kind of standard, cliché crises-es that families these days
face. Daughter gets caught up in a sexting scandal. New man in
Lady's Life is a con artist. 17 year old turns into a zombie.
That was a real one.
I guess. It's my birthday in 4 and a half weeks,
and this year, the present I really want from my parents is to finally get me
the new TV they promised me for my birthday last year. Fingers
crossed! 11th paragraph. I think the debate over gun control is hard
because unconsciously we must all be thinking, better do what they want,
they've got guns and we don't. I'm not saying it would ever
come to violence, and anyone is actively thinking that, but there's a good
chance that's going on underneath. I don't get that thing in the 60's
where they put flowers in guns. What a waste of a good flower.
Now it's got gunpowder on it. There goes that.
I like how Chinese people had fireworks for, what, 3000
years, and never thought to use it to kill people. What a country!
Turns out it's only been 1000 years. That's still very good.
Jeez. Been working on some new songs. Got about four or five with
various levels of completion. Great! I don't know. Three and a
half paragraphs to go theoretically. I apparently have one save-em-up
from the last week. Not very good, either. Here it is-- I have a
lot of theories on why I'm so lonely/anti-social/withdrawn. ... Too busy working
up theories for things. What a productive week. According to my
notepad, one of the potential song titles for one of my new songs is We
Boned. I don't remember that. Oh well, what can ya do.
13th paragraph. My Dad said the kid getting killed in
the bar after surviving Las Vegas was like the movie Final Destination. I
thought that was pretty good. And I was particularly impressed he's
familiar with the Final Destination Franchise! Anyway. Might see the
Queen Biopic this weekend. I'm a fan of movies in general and this subject
matter is also vaguely interesting to me. It'll be like going to a concert but
only the best parts! I just hope they address Weird Al's song Another
One Rides The Bus and explore how that affected the band. What else.
What do I got going on for the rest of the day. Now that I'm not doing
anything I have a lot of more free time to not do anything. I got second
half of Chinese Food for dinner. Gonna have a hot pocket for lunch.
That's life I guess.
2 paragraphs to go? At least. We've had a lot of
flies in our house the last couple of weeks. They're big flies that look
like bees and act like moths but are definitely flies. We can't be calling
him Beto if he's Vice President. It's a nick name. That's like if we
called Obama Barry Obama. Not presidential. Not even Vice
Presidential. Which is a step below presidential but still pretty serious.
There's another reason why Marco Rubio has no business ever being president.
President Marco? Doesn't sound good to me. What about
Bernie Sanders. He's old, he can go by whatever he wants. If
it was a 40 year old who called himself Bernie, that's no good. 70
year old? I'm okay with that. Maybe I just have a problem
with Latin Sounding Names Sounding Presidential. Alright ya got me.
That must be it.
15th paragraph! Cool. For a guy who acts like
a mob boss, I bet Donald Trump never even had someone killed. Not
impressed. I heard RBG fell and broke some ribs. I bet Donald
Trump had that banana peel planted. Trying to impress me by having
someone killed. Very smart. The point is would it really
be a huge surprise to find out Donald Trump had someone killed?
I mean, at first it would be, definitely-- but after allowing it to sink in for
a few minutes, you'd go, you know what... should have seen that coming.
What else is going on. Gonna aim for a couple more paragraphs after this.
At least one. I'll probably even think of something worthwhile to say!
Tenacious D show was pretty good. I saw the entirety of
Post Apocalypto along with the music live and it was really fun. Post
Apocalypto was a documentary about Mel Gibson trying to get his career together
after a box office bomb. I guess this'll be the last paragraph. What
a fun journey. Without browsing through what I said, I'd say it's probably
a solid D/D+. Much better than a straight up D! We're talking
about bordering on + territory. Every little bit counts. That
straight up D is sure tenacious. Don't know what that means.
Maybe I just cracked some kind of code of what Tenacious D really
means. We've come to expect such great code cracking skills by this point.
I'm gonna do one more paragraph.
Alright! And the great news is, a couple of days after
the Tenacious D show, America decided to take a considerably significant step
away from the apocalypse! I was hoping Tenacious D would do City
Hall, though, considering the show's proximity to the election. They
didn't! And that's okay! Gonna put Hot Pocket in Oven soon and take
it out after 40 minutes. I usually err on the side of putting stuff in the
oven for longer. My experience is that I'm usually more satisfied with the
result that way. Anyway. Jeez, at this point, just go for 20
paragraphs, right? It's only three more. And I got more than 40
minutes until my Hot Pocket is ready.
Cool! I don't know. Penpenultimate paragraph.
I like the word Penultimate. You know how, "Pen," means, "Before?"
Well... I'm gonna go take care of the hot pocket. I guess I can
go see Bohemian Rhapsody tomorrow. That's somethin' to do. I can't
do three more paragraphs. Not at this rate. Jeez. If I stop
within 5 minutes, I can see stuff on TV that starts at 2:00! Right on
time! And 10% of what I watch on TV is Live TV! I like those odds!
Anyway. Get back into writing the pilot over the next few days. I
took a few days off, justifying it because of the stress of the election and
whatnot, and now it's been a few days, so no reason not to get back into it.
Man, if I write 2 more paragraphs, it's an even 20. I Love Even Numbers!
I got an idea. Take a break now for half an hour.
Eat Hot Pocket. Come back and write 2 paragraphs. Naah that's no
good. I'd be spending half an hour in limbo-- entry is neither written nor
unwritten. I couldn't stand that confusion on my psyche, it'd be torture!
The good new is What Else. Oh No. Oh No. I accidentally
set the oven to 375 degrees instead of 350. And it's been a full ten
minutes! This changes everything. Jeeeez. Only one and
a half paragraphs to go. At some point, gonna put some books in the oven
and set it to 450 degrees for a while, then 452 degrees. See if that book
is really telling us the truth with its title and whatnot.
And don't get me started on Fahrenheit 119. It'll take
forever to cook books at that level! And Fahrenheit 911-- that's just
plain dangerous. Anyway, what else. I keep trying desserts from
bakeries or restraints or other places and I'm more often than not disappointed.
Not in the taste-- what I get tastes good enough. But that the taste isn't
worth the calories. I got a good thing going with these 200 calorie pop
tarts-- for a snack, very satisfying and manageable calories. I keep going
out on a limb for something else and it's neither good enough in taste to
justify its calories nor is it satisfying, satiating my hunger-wise, to justify
the calories. I feel very strongly about this. See ya later.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
Look At The Time
Kanye West can do it. He's got
synesthesia! That might explain some of his problems-- I don't know.
That's not the point. The point is Look At The Time. Which is one of
the potential titles of an episode in My Imaginary Show's first season!
Sure I'm planning out an entire season. Makes writing the first episode
that much easier, knowing where it's going. Still not very easy.
I got about 10-15% of the script actually written, with a ton of notes and stuff
about the characters and potential plot lines and whatnot. The point is
Man This Is Hard. Writing the titles to the 13 episodes, though,
that's where I really shine.
The real struggle is figuring out Okay do I try to make
this the best show ever written and every line is golden or do I take the
mindset of Ok all shows are all pretty redundant so I just gotta go into the
process accepting that and that being mediocre in some respects is to be
expected. The point is Look At The Time. Anyway, what
else. Seeing Tenacious D in two nights! Wonderful. I always
associated Tenacious D with Democrats because of the, "D," and now we're really
getting into crunch time where the D's have to be Tenacious. I wonder
what Tenacious means-- I Bet It's Good!
But writing here is a nice break from That Stupid Show Of
Mine. Anyway, last night was Halloween. I accumulated some Yuk-Em-Ups
about Halloween, so might as well blow through those here. Let's see,
browsing, browsing... Okay, Halloween Yuk-Em-Up #1) Next time a kid goes,
"Trick or Treat," I'm gonna say, "Trick." I don't think this punk has got
the guts. These kids ain't gonna do shit-- that's Halloween Yuk-Em-Up
#1. Halloween Yuk-Em-Up #2) I wonder what the evolution of people
dressing up their houses for Halloween by making them scary was. In the
olden days, was it to legitimately scare kids away from knocking on their doors
so they won't have to be bothered and give out candy? And it just morphed
into the exact opposite?
Alright, that was Halloween Yuk-Em-Up #2-- made more sense
when I first thought of it. Because you're making your house scary.
To scare people. Keep kids away. Still makes a little
sense to me! OOk, Halloween Yuk-Em-Up #3-- I don't get
calling mini candy bars, "Fun Size." They're less fun-- less candy, less
fun. Wouldn't more of candy be more fun? A three foot
bar of chocolate-- now that's fun size. Halloween
Yuk-Em-Up #3-- wasn't much of a joke, but such is life I guess. Alright,
now to segue into non Halloween Yuk-Em-Ups I got saved. Didn't anyone
else have a Boat during Noah-Times? I mean, I get that no one believed
him that a flood was coming so they didn't get on his boat. But
once the flood was flooding it up, there must have been some people out there
with boats of their own, and been like, Hmm, gonna drown if I don't get on my
boat. Oh Well-- FUCK YOU NOAH!
No, of course not, that would make no sense.
They'd get on their own boats when the danger made it necessary and they'd
survive, too. Unless you're trying to tell me that Noah Invented Boats.
Then, fine, we can have a scholarly debate about that-- but that's not what
you're trying to tell me. Anyway, Kanye with synesthesia. That might
make sense. I know the five senses are touch, hear, see, smell, and
taste-- but isn't experiencing time pass sort of a sense in and of itself?
Maybe that's what M Night Shyamalan was trying to say in that movie-- Lady In
The Water. Shy Am Alan. That's a good way to remember how to
spell his name. Just imagine a guy named Alan who is shy and his favorite
note is A Minor. Or, even better, imagine a minor named Alan. Who is
Or don't. Its your life. What paragraph are we
into. Also, it's during the night, and the letter M for some reason.
Now we got his entire name down pat. Another Yuk-Em-Up saved-- and Bill
Maher beat me to this a little bit last week, but my phrasing emphasizes a
different aspect-- I think the real reason many Americans are scared of the
caravan is because it's terrifying for them to imagine walking several miles
every day. Eh, pretty similar. What can ya do!
That's another title to an episode. "What Can You Do."
That's the season finale. I told you these titles are lit. Also,
once the flood began, I bet there were people who went up to Noah and were like,
Ok, you were right, can we get on the boat now? And you're telling me
God-Fearing Good Guy Noah is supposed to go Fuck You, You Had Your Chance!
See You In Hell Mutha Fuckas!!!
It's almost as if the fairy tales in an old book have
such glaring plot holes that make it impossible to reasonably believe they
actually happened. What else. Here's a save-em-up that isn't a joke,
but a dream I had, with humor in retrospect. I had a dream I could travel
into the future, and my first instinct for the first thing to do in the future,
was look up pornography for people I knew that I wanted to see naked.
Like, in my mind, I was thinking, Hey, it's the future-- I bet we have
a worldwide database of pornography of everyone! ALRIGHT! So
that's good. What paragraph now. Seventh. And almost done with
the seventh to boot! Which I believe is a shoe-ware reference. I'm
running low on Save-Em-Ups. This may be the last one-- I don't
get this Justin Bieber, "prank." "Hey look, it's Justin Bieber
eating a burrito!" "Nope, wasn't me! Gotcha!" Maybe I'm
Alright, wonderful. Eighth paragraph. At this
point, maybe aim for 15 overall, even though I've burned through save-em-ups
completely and don't know what else to say. Here's an Insight Save-Em-Up--
no humor, just thoughts. I think people are probably more prone to
believing bullshit on social media when they actually actively interact with
real life friends, family, and acquaintances on it. Once you're actually
making that social media website part of your life, you're more emotionally and
intellectually vulnerable to giving more credibility to what you see on said
social media site, because you're participating in it.
Like, for me, I now mainly use twitter just to follow
comedians, newsguys, and politicians-- I don't really communicate with real life
people there. I approach what I read there more objectively because I'm
not actively part of the conversation on Twitter. Meanwhile, I'm on
Facebook all the time, reading my friends walls, and overall it's more of a
reflection of what my actual life is like, the content which I consume on
Facebook. In a way that Twitter isn't for me. Therefore, when I see
something posted on Facebook, I'm somewhat more likely to approach it
subjectively, because I'm more invested in what appears on that website on a
human level, while, for me, I am more invested in Twitter on an intellectual
level. That may have made a lot of sense or no sense at all-- You Be
The Judge! Hey that's a good idea for an episode title.
Tenth paragraph! Six more to go, theoretically.
I wonder if I can get Mike Judge to guest direct that episode.
We'll put that in the Maybe Pile. Still losing weight! The scale
hasn't reflected a large weight loss compared to 2 weeks ago, but when I look in
the mirror, I'm starting to become comfortable with where I'm at. So
Mission Accomplished I Guess. For some reason, every year, my Dad gets my
Threesome of a Family bags and bags of candy for Halloween. Last year we
had zero trick or treaters-- same thing this year. I would estimate we got
10 bags of various mini-candies. So, sure. That's great. I
guess. I've started drinking at home more often-- the last couple weeks
I've drank about three nights a week, 3-5 drinks a night. It's fun!
I drink some, work on My Wacky Sitcom, and pop in a DVD.
There can't be a lot of people out there with a DVD
collection of ~200, like I have. There's gotta be like a five or six year
window for people to think stockpiling DVDs made any sense. VHS were a big
thing for a decade or two. DVDs hit it big around 2000, and when did
streaming overtake that? 2008 or so, maybe? So I was right in that
sweet spot, being a young teenager thinking that he needed to horde the kind of
entertainment he likes so he could define himself as a person somehow through
purchasing things. So I got that going for me! On Netflix, or any
stuff like that, do they have Director's Commentary? Cause, if not, you're
Jeez. I don't know. 12th paragraph. Now
that I'm an adult, I've learned to define myself as a person in more healthy
ways-- by the foods that I eat. Chocolate Chip Cookies? I'm
Chocolate Chip Cookies!
Anyway. Is it a thing where
men are ashamed and/or proud of Their Stream? You know, like Man, my
stream is so powerful. I'm more of a man than those guys with weak ass
streams. Also, I find it amusing to refer to A Guy's Stream as if
it's a linguistically acceptable way to identify that phenomenon without any
adjectives. Like I just say My Stream and you intuitively know I'm
talking about My Urine Stream because of slang and that's just the way guys
I don't know. That was a save-em-up that I
forgot to even write down, but luckily remembered it anyway. Also, I'm
around the middle of the pack, stream-wise. Sometimes it's above average,
sometimes it's not, but I'm fine with my stream overall. Anyway.
We're getting close to the election. I don't know what to say other than
make sure you vote, and make sure you talk to your friends, family, and
acquaintances about voting. Just make it as much of our Collective
Conversation over the next few days as humanely possible. That's all we
can do at this point. I think it's funny that every time I check
FiveThirtyEight on their projection for the House, they have a new standard for
how much the Democrats have to win the popular vote by to win the house.
Several months ago they drew a line at 5%. If the Democrats win the
popular vote by five percent, they're favored to win the house.
Several weeks later it was 5.5 percent. Now, the Democrats have to win
the popular vote by 5.5 percent to win the house. I checked it today,
it's up to 5.8 percent. I'm not really sure how they're doing these
calculations-- I trust them, but I don't know how-- but I just think it's
amusing that the goal post just keeps moving further and further away.
It's the kind of thing that you'd think would be static,
right? Oh well. So we got that going for us! Anyway, 14th
paragraph. At this point, thinking about going past 15. The goal
post keeps getting further and further away. That's Democracy for ya.
If you win the popular vote by 5 percent (That's a lot!), and you are still
represented as a minority, and that's treated as totally normal-- that's
Democracy I guess!!! Anyway. I'm looking forward to the
Democrats eking out a majority in the congress and Trump declaring the election
invalid. A week ago, I was totally convinced that, based on the Trump
Bomber and the Trump-Rhetoric-Inspired Synagogue Shooter, Trump would declare a
national emergency and "Postpone" the elections. Looks like we're gonna
avoid that-- probably. So that's good! Democracy!
At least now we're gonna get to vote before it being
deemed invalid. That's fun! 15th paragraph. How about
that. Three of the 7 or so DVDs I've watched are zombie movies. Dawn
of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead, and Re-Animator. So the point is
Season Two of my Show will be about a zombie apocalypse. Starts Season
2 Episode 1, is wrapped up by Season 2, Episode Last. Gotta give each
season it's own thing. I learned that from Dramas like The Sopranos and
The Wire. No reason not to apply it to Situational Comedies. I guess
it's not really a zombie apocalypse of it's wrapped up in 13 episodes.
More of a zombie this is an important situation but we'll get it under
control sooner rather than later.
What else. 16th paragraph. Do I have 5 more
in me? Let's hope not! Jeez. If the e-mails I get from the DNC
and other Democratic Groups asking for money are any indication, I'm not
convinced they're gonna be the Honest People Powered Party after this election
they should be. Every e-mail contains blatant lies and contradictory
statements based on whatever phrasing they decided might get people to donate
more. I get an e-mail from the DCCC saying It's over, we have no chance
to win. Donate a dollar and it'll be triple matched, and then,
literally two hours later, I get an e-mail from the same group saying
We're Over The Moon! Everything's breaking our way. Now's the time
to donate, though-- it'll be triple matched. And then a few hours
later they're back to their first pitch.
I mean, I'm 100% behind Democrats. And, honestly,
if this is what works with fundraising, fine. Go ahead. But,
still, if they're this forward with insulting our intelligence without the
power to do stuff, I'm not convinced they're gonna give people any input on
what they might do when they do have power. They Think We're
Idiots! Anyway. 17th paragraph. What's going on and
whatnot. Still, though, vote for the Democrats 100% everywhere.
What are you, some kind of idiot who can't choose between Evil and Simply
Frustrating? The choice is clear. You can have straight up EVIL
people or people Who Get On Your Nerves. It's not that difficult.
Three paragraphs to go! Wonderful. Let's get
back into benign nonsense. What do I got for the rest of the night.
Maybe pop in a DVD. I'm pretty happy with the names of my main characters.
First names are great. Last names are generally pretty satisfactory.
Some better than others. On the whole, though, the names, I think I'm
really onto something with these names. I don't know the TV schedule that
well, but I don't think this will be completed in time to be for the 2019-2020
season. It might be. I don't know! It would be nice. I'm
writing it as if it were debuting next fall. Gotta go in with that mindset
for some reason.
Penultimate! The most calories that I've eaten in a day
over the past five and a half months was a few weeks ago, the day when it became
clear Kavanaugh was gonna get confirmed. And I still ate less
calories than "Maintenance" consumption! And since then, I've cut it
back down! So That'll Learn 'Em! What else is going on. After
a few weeks of unabashed enthusiasm about My Wacky Television Bullshit Project,
and where it might lead me, I'm starting to level back into conceiving of life
as a never ending slog with no hope of any even semi-immediate payoff.
So I got that going for me! Wonderful. Started watching Lifetime
Movies. I like 'em because they just do what they do. You're being
emotionally manipulated in a very clear and obvious fashion non-stop-- I like
that! Don't make me try too hard when watching a movie. Just give me
some heavily-guided-in-what-to-think-and-how-to-feel fluff.
Jeez. Last paragraph! Wonderful. I get to
go back to Consuming Media rather than Creating It. Aww crap I gotta
work on the Show. Meh. Don't force it! Just let it come as
it comes. There's no rush! There is if I want to get it in in
time for next fall! But even if you rush you have absolutely no
idea what those deadlines are like. They may have already passed!
Yeah but hey gotta do something ya heard ya feel me. Alright what
else is going on. I don't know. I think I read that studios or
production companies or whatever know what shows they're gonna be shooting the
pilot by January. But that could mean they only consider scripts they've
gotten by October, or through December, or whatever-- I don't know!!!
Also, if you're ever in an airplane-- don't shoot the pilot.
Alright bonus paragraph. But after this, that's it!
I was working much more productively and inspired-ly when I was still reading
Norman Lear's book-- once I moved onto Garry Marshall's book I lost a certain
feel for what I was doing. Interpret that as you will-- I know I am!
Anyway. And now that I'm done with all the comedy books I'm
completely lost. I found a textbook in my Brothers room from when he was
taking Dramatic Writing in Tisch for Undergrad and it's basically about writing
screenplays. So I'm reading that and that's fine I guess. The point
is who cares, I don't know. OH also one thing that's hard is I don't
know how long to make this show. The way I see it, there's four
choices. Half hour Network (22 min), Hour network (42 min? 45?),
Half hour no commercials, or hour no commercials. Jesus if I could just
commit to one, rather than think I'll just write extra and that'll be good
cause I can do any of them, then I might be a little bit more sane about
conceptualizing the whole thing. I'll see ya'll later.