Monday, September 30, 2024

I'm Gonna Have To Remember That One

    Hey, friends!  Gotta write some shit now!  How was everyone's weekend?  Totally didn't include Weekdays.  I think everyone can agree on that!  Except for people on the opposite side of the world.  In CHINA their weekends includes Mondays Through Wednesdays!  Australia, too! Thailand.  That's probably partly true.  I assume today it's either tomorrow and/or yesterday Half The World Away.  Maybe not SEVERAL days away, but ONE DAY OFF is scientifically probable.  Sounds like a good First Question for the VP debate tomorrow.  WHAT DAY AND TIME IS IT RIGHT NOW IN THE PHILIPPINES.  Not gonna be Fact Checking, though, so we might get some Untruths.  Just don't have time for Fact Checking!  90 minute debates.  They decided it's more important to ask An Extra 1.25 Questions than to Fact Check People.  WHY should we make sure THE FUTURE VICE PRESIDENT IS TELLING THE TRUTH TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE when we could ask A Bonus 1.25 Questions!  Gotta make a trade-off there!  CBS is looking out for THE PUBLIC'S best interests with this decision.  We want as many questions as we can get!  1.25 bonus questions PLUS UNFILTERED LIES FROM PROSPECTIVE NEXT-IN-LINE-TO-PRESIDENCY-PERSON is what the public demands.
   Ok.  Anyway.  Late Night Comedy Writing Class started last Thursday.  This is gonna be a tough one!  Gonna have to write a lot of jokes!  Have some feelings of Regret for taking the class!  As of now I gotta write 10 jokes based on whatever news headlines I want before next class!  HMM.  My first thought was Start Getting Up A Couple Hours Earlier every morning and use some of that time to work on Jokes For This Class.  SO FAR I haven't been able to Get Up Early though!  I COULD always write jokes IN EVENINGS.  Either way Gonna Be A Slog!  BUT ALSO FUN.  Wrote 2 jokes over the course of the first class.  Not high quality jokes!  One of them was a D/D+.  The other one of them was a D+!  More or less!  But anyway this has always been my dream!  Writing for late night television!  Not my main dream.  Kind of a secondary dream.  And I use the term, "Secondary," loosely.  What's the, "Secondary," word for when it's like SEVENTH on your list.  SEVENTHDARY.  Probably at some points in my life did I Secondarily dream about writing for Late Night Television!  But for the most part it was Seventh On My List!
  Mets have a big Doubleheader today to close out the Regular Season!  Gotta win ONE GAME to advance to Wild Card Game!  I think it's a Wild Card game and not series.  Hmm.  I'm confused now.  Maybe they're talking about it RIGHT NOW and I can Unmute the TV playing the game on my TV.  They probably aren't talking about it.  What would the odds be!  LOW I say!  Hmm.  ANYWAY.  Got what might be my final appointment with This Psychiatrist tomorrow!  Been seeing her since the PANDEMIC.  All good things must come to an end.  Everything does!  Universe gonna run out of steam eventually.  I'm calling it now.  Just don't see this going FOREVER.  Probably will outlive me, though!  SHOULD BE CLOSE.  I'm part of the universe.  As long as the universe runs on, I'm continuing on, too!  YEAH.  IN YOUR FACE.  Huh.  Baseball is going by so fast!  I got the game on Mute on TV and I am STRUCK by how quick the Rate Of Play is.  Gotta be the Pitch Clock I guess.  Or maybe the Universe is just sped up 1.10x and no one bothered to tell me.  I think I'd notice that.  I AM.  I AM NOTICING THAT.  RIGHT NOW.  SO TEHRE YA GO.
    WOW.  I had some of these players on my Fantasy Baseball Team in 2023.  Brings back lots of memories.  Michael Harris II.  This guy!  Anyway.  SNL returned this weekend!  I thought it was pretty good!  I watched the entire thing.  The jokes, the exposition, the laughs from the audience!  Any part of it, it doesn't matter to me, I'll take it all in!  WELL The Mets just lost the Tie they were so closely holding onto.  Now it is 2-0 in The Atlanto Braves favor!  That's okay.  Still early!  THRID INNING.  Lots of innings left to go.  INNING IS A WEIRD WORD.  That's the thing you do when you spend time at a hotel!  I've been Inning what have you been up to!?  Huh.  Jimi Hendrix LOVED Monopoly.  First, author told us about how he liked to play The British Version Of Monopoly.  THEN when he returned home to Seattle he plays REGULAR Monopoly with his family.  Man.  This guy likes his Monopoly!  I hope I didn't spoil Jimi Hendrix's autobiography for you.  The guy likes board games!  Played RISK a lot too!  The Game of World Domination!  IRONIC because he was Pro Love Not Wore.  Is there a MOD you can do of Risk where you Spread Love instead of Take Over Violently.  Still kinda sounds bad.  Hmm.
   Fifth paragraph.  Listening to more Jimi Hendrix.  I like it more and more!  Oh yeah well what's my favorite Jimi Hendrix song then.  Well I like a lot of songs that aren't technically written or performed by Jimi Hendrix but I guess those don't really count as his songs.  I dunno!  They're good songs!  Not as good as FALL OUT BOY but hey what can ya do!  Jimi Hendrix grew up really poor.  Maybe that's why he liked having Pretend Money in games all the time.  Playing Monopoly.  Hmm.  He also never Owned A RaceCar.  That's why he, we can only assume, played as THE RACECAR.  Hmm.  Monopoly jokes.  Great.  Here We Go.  I hope a Monopoly Story happens in the news in the next two days.  That'd be REAL EASY to write a couple jokes about!  I think I can write up to two jokes on the same subject!  ALRIGHT. EASY AS DONE.  Hmm.  What ELSE is going on.  October starts tomorrow!  That's THE LAST MONTH before Election Day!  We got a few days of November, sure, but October is really it!  WHAT THE HELL.  SPOOKY STUFF.  Should be interesting.  Maybe I should do something special.  TWENTY PARAGRAPH ENTRIES.  That's spooky!  I scared myself at just the mere IMAGINATION THOUGHT of it!  HALFWAY through the entry!
   OK.  What happened in this entry that was Entertaining.  You got to know The Real Me.  FASCINATING.  What happened in this entry that was Funny.  I'm An Abnormal Person!  That's Kind Of Funny!  CLOSE ENOUGH.  Anyway.  Hurricane Helene on the offensive!  I don't like it!  UNLESS it brings people together!  AND YA KNOW WHAT?  NOT EVEN THEN.  It's caused too much death and destruction!  NOT ON BOARD.  Unless it captures me in it's orbit and I am a victim to its propulsion and I am indefinitely being spun around in it.  Then I guess I AM on board Hurricane Helene.  Gonna try to avoid that happening, though!  JUST NOT GO NEAR IT.  Anyway.  Other kids in Comedy Class are PRETTY GOOD.  Quite funny!  Quite on the ball!  I'm amongst people I can look up to!  So that's good.  Teacher is VERY good.  Even better than the other students!  By A FAIR AMOUNT.  Is it possible I have a come from behind victory and 7 weeks from now I'm Funnier Than All Of Them?  IF YOU CAN DREAM IT I CAN DO IT.  It's really on All Of You Guys!  Get to dreaming!  Cause I'd like to Get Funnier than I currently am at this very moment.  I think everyone would appreciate it a lot.
   Seventh paragraph!  MARIJUANA MIGHT MAKE ME FUNNIER.  Said a doofus.  BUT EVEN DOOFII ARE RIGHT SOME OF THE TIME.  DAMNIT.  Ok I tried a little bit of marijuana.  Let's see.  FOUR PARAGRAPHS IS A LOT.  First things first I want to turn off the Met game.  It's a distraction that I don't even particularly WANT TO WATCH.  Second things second maybe I want to leave the Met game on.  It's a fun thing that I am INTERESTED IN.  Wow.  I don't think we're gonna solve this any time soon.  Guess we'll have to put this on the Solve Later Docket.  What's a, "docket."  Guess we're gonna have to figure that one out Later, as well.  ANYWAY.  I bet the dumb things I said today were interesting by accident!  AND IF NOT THEY CAME CLOSE.  Who determines what is interesting.  I dunno.  What else is going on.  Still gotta write three more paragraphs!  I wonder what they will be about.  Could be practically anything.  I'm narrowing it down to NOTHING or NEXT TO NOTHING.  I might talk about SOMETHING REAL INTERESTING but I just don't find anything interesting!
   Anyway.  Three more paragraphs to go.  Let's see.  What's on my mind.  What, like, right now?  THAT MOMENT ALREADY HAPPENED.  I might as well tell you what's on my mind NOW.  But that would be irrelevant!  IT'S ALREADY OVER.  Already thinking something new.  WOW MY MIND SOUNDS TOPS.  Yes it is!  No mind is perfect but some are closer than others!  Well anyway what else is gong on.  My mind is the worst.  POSSIBLY LITERALLY.  Could be!  I wouldn't be surprised!  Just doesn't think real imaginatively.  Imagination.  Oh.  Lemme think about that for a second.  I gotta urinate so that lines up pretty well.  Great I'm back!  What was I talking about?  Ain't on me to talk about things.  You can read what you want.  I'm just gonna type some words.  Absurd.  ANYWAY that's what's up.  I NEED to write two more paragraphs!  IT'S THE WORST FATE THAT EVER BEFELL ANYONE IN HUMAN HISTORY.  Well alone it's not that bad.  But combined with The Rest Of My Life YEAH.  IT'S IN THE BOTTOM 25% FOR SURE. 
    On the other hand, what else is going on.  Last paragraph is Yesterday's News!  Especially if you're reading this Tomorrow.  Entire 24 hour period for That Sentence To REALLY Be Accurate.  So, that's good!  What else is going on.  OH HELL YEAH The Mets just made a big comeback the last 20 minutes!  Great!  The New York Mets are the only sports team I've ever really been invested in!  I guess I was invested in The Yankees for a couple of years as a kid!  BUT WHY LET THAT GET IN THE WAY OF A GREAT STORY.  Surely I had a favorite fellow horse jockey.  HEY WHAT HUH.  Those are Sports PEOPLE not Sports TEAMS.  In individual sports, People are Teams Of Their Own.  OK GOOD.  I can relate to that.  That's how it works IN THE ARTS as well.  I feel like A TEAM sometimes myself IN THE CREATIVE ARTS.  A Personal Team.  Probably shouldn't feel that way now that I think about it!  WHY IS THIS THE FIRST I'M THINKING OF IT.  Wha. Huh.  WHO?  I lost track of what I was talking about!  I'm going to START A NEW THOUGHT.  That sounds unlikely.  I'm going to start A NEW, "Thought."  That's a bit more of an accuracy statement.
    Last paragraph.  Amazing!  What else is there to say.  I started with nothing and I'LL END WITH NOTHING.  Sounds reasonable.  OH NO The Mets might still lose! I forgot the game isn't over yet!  Always with their technicalities!  LET'S SEE WHAT SHOULD I SAY.  Got like an entire paragraph to work with.  That's two dozen sentences.  Wanna say what's on my mind about things!  I just want this to be over.  Must be something else to talk about!  I also want World Peace.  World peace.  Great.  That's some good input for the website.  INPUT for the website becomes OUTPUT for the reader eventually.  I CONTINUALLY FORGET THAT.  WELL The Mets just blew their lead!  Baseball!  Wow!  If they don't come back to win in the ninth OR win the second game today People are gonna remember this one probably!  IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT it might Sting for a while!  LUCKILY I turnt it off!  IT WONT STING ME.  I hope you are able to move on with your stinginess at some point if indeed that is what it comes to!  Huh.  Entry is over.  I don't know what it turned into.  It's possible the last 4 paragraphs were unreadable.  We'll see!  See ya later!

-3:53 P.M.      

       
  
        

Thursday, September 26, 2024

This Is All Your Fault

    Hey, friends!  Last entry of the week!  Then I got UCB Zoom Class in a few hours!  PLUS I got Vodkas to drink today instead of Boring Ol Beer!  Delightful!  Not all is right in the world, though!  Got some packages delivered to my house that weren't ours!  I spend SIX minutes walking around trying to find the house that the address described!  Couldn't find it!  Just left them by some Communal Mailboxes!  Let Mailwoman deal with that!  I've got my own problems.  Like What.  Well, LIKE THAT.  That BECAME my Own Problem for a time!  But NO LONGER!  So what's still my problem.  Hmm.  Might have slightly burnt the tip of my tongue when I had Cup Noodles earlier.  That's NOTHIN.  I Have No Life and No Prospects For A Life.  OKAY GOOD THAT'S A PROBLEM!  Let's address that.  I'M NOT GOOD WITH ADDRESSES.  When Lincoln wrote and/or delivered the Gettysburg Address I wonder if he thought Ya Know What I'm just gonna knock this one out of the fucking Park.  12/10.  Not only am I gonna do an adequate address all things considered, I'm gonna do an address that people are gonna associate it with Addresses FOR ALL OF HISTORY.  He didn't need to do that!  All he had to do was OKAY.  Instead he showed up AND FUCKIN ADDRESSED THOSE MOTEHR FUCKERERS like it was nobody's business!  But it became people's business!  And now it's EVERYBODY'S Business!
    It inspired us to win the Civil War!  Before that We Were On The Fence About It!  YEAH.  Watched Kamala on MSNBC last night.  It was all Economics Talk.  Hey Look At A Competent Person Go!  She appears to be running a pretty Center-Left campaign economically!  Lots of Great Stuff that should make people happy whether they are well versed in Economic Policy Or Not.  I AM NOT.  But then again I Kinda Am.  Anyway I can see most of her policy positions are probably attractive to both Laymen and Experts!  The point is for the most part I like what I hear, but obviously she's not an All Out Lefty like I am.  And maybe in some areas of her economic plans she's To The Right in some respects.  DOESN'T BOTHER ME.   She's still leaps and bounds ahead of Trump!  Besides, it's nice to see Kamala get some Screen Time, but Economics is not the most pressing issues of the day!  Democracy is under attack!  Our Human Rights are under attack!  Foreign Policy!  SHIRTS.  GUITAR CASE.  SPIDER WEB.  I'm just looking around my room and saying things I see now.  I didn't even actually SEE a spider web.  MUST BE ONE SOMEWHERE THOUGH.
   Okay.  Looks like Mayor Eric Adams is in some hot water!  Indicted!  What did he do wrong?  Probably Take Bribes.  That's probably one of the 12 things there's evidence of Him Doing Wrong!  Off the top of my head!  It'd be weird to get a Good Mayor for once.  What if we got John Mayer for Mayor.  I don't think We Like John Mayer.  What's wrong with him.  Well first of all I'm not sure he's been culturally relevant since 2004.  Second of all I'm guessing he's into teenagers or something like that.  Third of all Still not worse than Eric Adams.  Pretty much ANYONE is a step up from Eric Adams.  You could put me in the Mayor's Throne TOMORROW with no preparation and I'd be TEN TIMES the mayor Eric Adams has been.  THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DARE.  IT'S A DOUBLE DARE!!  Hmm.  That sounds like a really good reality show.  JOE MAYOR.  Where a random person has to be Mayor for a year.  I'd watch that!  AND Participate In That Society!  Anyway.  Unfortunately it'd be on FOX.  They own the rights for Reality Shows where The Guy Is Named Joe.  DAMNIT.
   The good news is my throne is lower than usual right now.  99% of the time my chair is The Highest It Could Be!  Right now it's the lowest it can be!  For some reason I changed the setting earlier either by accident or for some strange reason!  And then I just never fixed it!  Hmm.  GOTTA WONDER if that'll pay off in the long run!  Anyway.  Can't really have a random person be mayor for a year.  Really ought to give them a full term!  A Year isn't enough to get anything done!  That makes no sense!  Hmm.  ERIC ADAMS?  NEVER trust a man with Two First Names.  I dunno.  Last name is ADAMS.  Plural.  Dose that really count as a First Name?  YES.  IT COUNTS.  OK I trust you.  I Don't Know Why But I Do.  Anyway.  What's the name of John Mayer's famous song.  Something about It being Wonderful World.  Or Beautiful Body.  Your Body Is A Wonderland.  Hmm.  Oh that was it.  Nailed it.  Wonderland sounds like the name of an Amusement Park.  "Your Body Is A Wonderland," IS NOT romantic.  He's basically just saying I want to go to your body For Fun from 10 AM to 9 PM one day with my friends and do all the rides.  Maybe he won't literally bring his friends.  But that's the message I'm picking up!
  Okay.  Waiting On The World To Change.  WELL THE WORLD AIN'T EVER GONNA CHANGE WITH THAT ATTITUDE.  Get out there AND DO SOMETHING John Mayer!  Sounds like you're satisfied with the status quo when it comes down to it!  What kind of person are you.  Hmm.  The main exposure I have to John Mayer besides Song Titles is his appearance on The Chappelle's Show.  If Dave Chappelle from the 2000's likes John Mayer that's good enough from me!  On the other hand, if Dave Chappelle from the 2020's likes him?  ...That's A Negative Endorsement!  So that's good.  What else is up.  Was the movie Chappie inspired by Dave Chappelle?  We can only imagine!  It was about a robot.  Dave Chappelle is a Man.  Men are KIND OF robots!  I probably see Movies About Robots MUCH LESS than the average person.  I don't think I've ever seen a Robocop.  I don't watch Battlebots.  Never seen Real Steel.  I dunno what it is!  Lack of interest or lack of opportunity.  Probably a lot of things going on!  What's the best Thing About Robots I have seen?  HMM.  I saw AI: Artificial Intelligence with Haley Joel Osment.  That was a High Quality Movie.  Not gonna put it in a... what do you call it... when you bury things in the ground so they dig them up 100 years later and be like HEY THIS IS SO WE REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST!  Not a Time Share.  Not a Remembrance Package.  OH RIGHT TIME CAPSULES.
  Halfway through the entry!  Not gonna put AI: Artificial Intelligence in a Time Capsule, but it was pretty good!  There was a pretty good Simpsons Episode probably around season 13 where Homer pretends to be a Battle Robot for Bart to manage.  I'd watch that again for the twelfth time!  Okay.  Anyway.  CLASS IS IN just a bit more than two hours!  Exciting.  I haven't Talked To Anyone in a couple of months!  Beyond my family.  And Starbucks.  And doctors.  WOW.  This might be a bit overwhelming at first!  Might take me until The Last Couple Of Sessions to get used to it!   Great!  That's good news somehow for somebody somewhere!  Hmm.  I recieve talking from the Television.  That's KIND of talking!  Uh-oh.  I'm gonna have to come up with jokes ON TE SPOT tonight.  Worse enough that I might have to be prompted to write jokes like okay take ten minutes to write a couple of jokes on this subject.  THAT WOULD BE PRESSURE ENOUGH.  Teacher might even make me come up with a joke ON TE SPOT IN PERSON ON CAMERA.  That'd be IMPOSSIBLE.  Oh no now I'm scared.  I'm gonna be a failure in front of people!  This time with conscious awareness though on camera!
   Seventh paragraph.  Only get one chance to make a good first impression.  What can I do to trick people into thinking I'm A Good Cool Guy.  WELL I shaved. That's step one.  Now they assume I don't have facial hair!  Great.  What else is up.  Got a BIG WEEKEND coming up.  Gotta READ JIMI HENDRIX a lot.  Gotta watch some TELEVISION.  Lean into MOVIES I say!  TV is for the week, Movies are for the weekends!  Smoke marijuana and/or eat gummies!  Try to have fun but also keep in mind I'm only having fun so that I can Do Good For The Upcoming Work Week!  Huh.  SNL is back this weekend!  That's a show I usually watch!  I don't think I watched it the most recent season!  Maybe a couple of episodes.  Probably gonna watch it this weekend, though!  Feels like the thing to do.  They've got the lady from Hacks hosting.  WHY DOES THE GUEST HOST.  That's totally counter-intuitive.  That's the exact opposite of what should be happening!  You should be hosting the guest!  Not having the guest host!  Lorne Michaels needs to look into what's happening there! 
   THREE paragraphs to go!  Makes sense!  What else is going on.  Got about an hour or so to write three paragraphs if I wanna fit in a walk before Class.  AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES REALLY if I wanna cut things close.  These-a-days that's about on target!  Good.  JOKER coming out next week!  I'll watch that!  Try to enjoy it!  Probably will!  WHO KNOWS what it'll actually be like!  I enjoy films in general and I enjoyed the first Joker so that's a pretty good indicator I'll like this piece of crap!  They say it's Half Musical but I dunno!  Seems like a marketing Gimmick!  EITEHR WAY it's enough to get me to go to the theaters!  I WONDER IF BRUCE WAYNE SHOWS UP.  Probably around a 40% chance he will!  HADN'T CONSIDERED IT until just now!  Wow.  Lady Gaga will be there!  She's INTO Joker!  Like... as more than a friend!  Can't wait to see about that!  Probably'll make Joker come in his pants just at the mere suggestion!  WELL we'll have to wait and see I guess!  That should be an interesting dynamic.  Probably unpleasant to watch now that I think about it!  NAH I'M SURE THEY HAVE FUN WITH IT.  Great.  Can't wait!
   Penultimate paragraph.  OK.  Can't wait to find out if he's the protagonist or antagonist!  I don't even know if I'm rooting for him or not yet!  That's a big thing to not know yet!  He's an UNRELIABLE Narrator.  Oh Okay Very Good.  Anyawy.  Let's see.  Wonder if there's a new Cool Teen Sex Romp Comedy that's gonna be on Streaming or Premium Channels this weekend.  I THINK I DESERVE something like that this weekend.  I'M TOO OLD FOR THAT.  I'm a prevert if I watch something like that!  I dunno.  I'm a Teen at heart.  You never grow too old for being a teenager!  Hmm.  WELL If I get off sexually from watching Teenagers that's kind of perverted.  I guess 18+ is fair game, but still.  But if I get off on THE COMEDY of watching teenagers there's nothing wrong with that!  So that's good.  How old is Joker.  I guess around 50!  Joaquin Phoenix must be like 48.  Hmm.  Yeah.  He's 49.  Never thought of Joker as Elderly.  But he's getting there!  Wow.  Lady Gaga is probably around 40.  If I was FORCED to guess AND I AM RIGHT NOW I'd say 41.  38.  Man.  I really should have guessed 40.  That way I'd have been closer to 38.  If I had guessed 40.
   Last paragraph!  WONDERFUL!  I hope Jimi Hendrix's life makes me feel better about my life Upcoming Weekend.  Probably will!  Couldn't hurt!  Anyway.  When I was a kid, Joaquin Phoenix was a YOUNG actor!  We're talkin he was in his 20's!  Fuckin, total reversal compared to bein in his late 40's as he is now!  What the Hell happened!  GLADIATOR.  SIGNS.  TOTALLY TWENTIES.  Ugh.  Still seems pretty young to be honest!  GOOD.  Me too.  I'm in my 20's as far as I'm concerned!  Probably will continue to be moving forward!  Indefinitely!  Anyway!  It's the 2020's.  WE ARE ALL IN OUR 20'S.  CALENDARWISE.  Let's appreciate it as long a we can!  GOT ANOTEHR 5 OR SO YEARS.  Awesome.  Anyway.  Closing in on the end of the entry.  I think it's been a relatively good time!  Who cares!  Next week should be good.  My mind will possibly be reinvigorated because of Comedy Class.  And I pass the savings along to YOU.  Amazing.  Who else is in Joker II.  Possibly some sort of tertiary actor.  OH CRAP I GOOGLED IT and I saw a character who appears which is a Spoiler Alert!  Ah well.  That's life for ya.  I'll see ya next week.

-4:56 P.M.   
      

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

I Choose To Feel Pretty Good About This

    Hey!  Now it's time to do this!  September 25th!  2024?  I guess I can handle that.  Presumably have my online UCB class starting tomorrow!  Haven't gotten any update about how to access it yet, though!  So if You're My Teacher DON'T FORGET ABOUT THAT.  Why would You Be My Teacher.  I dunno!  SOMEBODY gotta be my Teacher!  Maybe IT IS You!  TEN PARAGRAPHS TO GO.  What's on my mind today.  Who cares.  What's on YOUR mind.  Oh that's interesting.  Let's talk about that.  They executed an innocent man yesterday. Just for fun!   Guy on death row who they knew now was probably innocent.  Family of the victim said Don't Execute Him.  Prosecutor said Don't.  Jury said don't.  The Governor went ahead and did it anyway!  Six Supreme Court Justices also signed off on it!  Killing innocent people is just what they enjoy doing!  Not sure why!  How does that feeling manifest exactly.  What is that Kick if you had to sum it up.  Do they enjoy THE POWER.  Is it the RACISM.  Is it the POLITICS.  ECONOMIC/CULTURAL STRUCTURE?  Something about it made them decide to execute a man they knew was probably innocent!  Maybe they just think that's what's expected of them.  Figure that's what their constituents want.  Don't blame them!  They're unwitting actors! 
   Huh.  Anyway.  I don't mean to alarm anyone but these kinds of things could happen one day to white people, too!  The way the country is going!  If Trump is elected we are ALL gonna be at the mercy of these people.  Also I do mean to alarm people!  It's alarming!  When I was a kid stories like this would piss me off politically from a more intellectual or theoretical perspective.  Now I see one day these things could happen to me!  Wow.  EQUALITY.  Racial Equality!  IN MY DAY!  I guess that's progress IN A WAY.  The point is we need to make Progress in the Real Progress Direction.  Cause shit like this should be unacceptable!  We can make REAL PROGRESS IF WE WANT TO.  The choice is ours!  Victory is there for the taking!  Let's Do It!  YEAH.  Anyway. Just WIN.  BE POSITIVE AND ULTIMATELY VOTE.  Easy.  Do it!  SUCCESS.  So that's good.  What else.  SHOW UP EVERY DAY.  Gotta put in the work!  Huh.  What WORK.  Whatever your job and other parts of your life is.  But TINT your specific individual contribution to the world with SHOWING UP POLITICALLY as well!
   Oh okay.  Wouldn't I get burnt out if I do that every day?  Think of how burnt out you'd be afterward if Trump Wins.  Burnt out For the next four years.  ACTUALLY COULD BE You're burnt out for the rest of time!  We MIGHT BURN OUT THE REST OF HUMAN HISTORY if Trump wins.  IT WOULD NOT BE FUN.  OH HELLO I just got an e-mail about how to get to my UCB Class on Zoom.  AMAZING.  Teacher finally Got The Message!  OH HELLO I just got an e-mail on who the performers at the upcoming Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony will be.  Wait A Second I Don't Care About That!  I FORGOT NOT EVERY E-MAIL IS A WINNER.  Okay.  This entry has not had JOKES persay.  Oh.  Lemme work on that.  NO ENTRY has JOKES Persay.  Entrees kinda SOUND FUNNY generally.  Something kinda STRANGE about them.  Huh.  I shuold make a joke now.  Right when it's LEAST expected.  Oh.  HELL YEAH I'm refreshing the New Webpage for the New Class to see the students as they register for it!  I wanna read the names my co-students!  See if any of them are SEXY Ladies!  Some people have profile pics, too!  That's not a joke.  That's a serious comment about my perviosity!
   Fourth paragraph!  Teacher possibly appears to be a Sexy Lady.  No spoilers!  Sorry.  Nobody's Perfect!  My main character flaw is I Appreciate Women's Sexiness to a fault!  Well I wouldn't say main character flaw.  It's one of the top twenty I guess!  I got Lots Of Sex Problems!  YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THAT RIGHT.  Huh.  I have no idea.  Kinda funny, though!  Now we're starting to make me laugh!  Anyway probably getting a Pizzeria for dinner tonight.  Shuold I get pizza or a chicken roll.  That's a tough one.  I'm gonna go use the bathroom and then I'll let you know what I'm thinking upon return.  Well I'm Back.  STILL DUNNO WHAT TO DO.  Leaning towards Chicken Roll!  VERY WELL.  Anyway it's almost Halloween Season.  I SAY we make October ALL HALLOWEEN THE ENTIRE MONTH.  Half Election Month, Half Halloween Month.  WE WORK HARD AND WE PLAY HARD.  Who Am I Going As For Halloween.  It's a surprise.  Oh I'm Going As Haydn's Surprise Sympathy.  Yes.  Exactly.  Here's a joke in the classic Q & A Joke Structure.  WHAT IS JERRY LEWIS'S FAVORITE CLASSICAL COMPOSER?  HAYDN.  I don't get it.  I can just see him mispronouncing Haydn in his classic delivery.  Oh.  That's kind of funny.  I Guess.
   No.  No it wasn't.  Just so you know.  I'm on your side!  It's not funny!  We're in this one together!  I was never a big Jerry Lewis fan but that's just because I topped out at 150 pounds in my lifetime.  That joke involved a lie.  I've weighed as much as 180 or even 190 pounds before!  Sorry!  I guess.  What is this.  The fifth paragraph?  Okay!  I'm out of beer after today and won't re-up with the super market until Friday!  So either I'm just smoking marijuana tomorrow or I'm gonna have to Buy Something Off The Street!  HMM.  Most likely scenario is I buy some 1 oz bottles of liquor!  WOW.  I can even use QUARTERS to do it!  Why waste precious dollar bills that I don't have much of!  I'll use some quarters that I otherwise would never use!  Sounds good to me!  So that's exciting.  ANYWAY.  Holy Shit.  I have to write another five paragraphs.  That could be a lot, or that could be a little!  All depends on... I don't know what it depends on!  I don't really care either way!  I just want it to be GOOD.  It probably won't be.  Oh.  So what qualities CAN IT BE.  If it's not good, can I at least point to it and say AT LEAST IT WAS THIS?  Sure!  It might be other decent qualities besides Not Being Good!  Huh.  What am I talking about again?
   Just got the phantom smell of that powdered garlic you see in Pizzerias.  Gross!  Who needs it.  Only thing worse than that is Oregano.  Pretty sure that's just a decorative Shaker.  No one literally puts Oregano on their pizza.  That's just for scenery!  Anyway.  I feel like I put salt on my pizza at least once as a kid.  Pretty sure I put salt on my hamburger for a period of a year or several.  Possibly put salt on Steak.  PIZZA might be an exaggeration. But Hamburger and Steak I Honestly Think I Salted.  Salt is good for you!  It's From The Earth!  SALT MINES.  Pretty sure there's zero calories to salt.  It's DIET.  How bad could that be!  WAIT I may have salted More Things.  Fish.  Entrees.  What other foods out there are there.  Huh.  Who cares.  I may have added More Salt to French Fries when I would get them from Fast Food or Restaurants.  WHO CARES how heavily salted they already are!  I'm a Special Boy and Only The Best for me!  Hmm.  I DON'T KNOW.  Who is my least favorite Office Member in The Office?  Possibly Ryan!  He just doesn't make me laugh!  DO SOMETHING FUNNY FOR ONCE.  Maybe then people would like you!  That's how I feel!
    He's kind of a short guy but they play him as desireous.  I like that!  SHORTS CAN BE ATTRACTIVE TOO.  What the Hell. BJ Novak is 5'9?  I woulda guessed 5'4-5'6 off the top of my head!  Hmm.  I guess he's a really good actor, then!  OR there's a glitch in the Matrix.  And he WAS 5'5 and NOW he's 5'9.  EITHER WAY Now I'm gonna look at this character slightly differently going forward.  Anyway.  I TALK a big game about supporting Kamala Harris All The Time but WHAT DO I REALLY DO.  NOT A LOT.  I'm A TERRIBLE SUPPORTER.  I SHUOLD BE DOING SO MUCH MORE.  WHERE DO I GET OFF.  Also when I do Support Her IT'S INEFFECTIVE.  I'm no Political Mastermind!  I haven't been convincing no one MUCH OF ANYTHING.  Well Don't Be So Sure!!  We got 40 days left until the election.  As we get closer I will get exponentially More And More Better At Boosting Kamala Harris and Democrats Up And Down The Ballot.  SEEMS like something I'd do at least!  Keep pasted!  Stay Tuned!  You're gonna wanna see How Amazing I Am at convincing everyone that Kamala is the best and only option for America moving forward!  WOW THAT SOUNDS GREAT!  I CAN'T WAIT!
   Three paragraphs to go.  I ALREADY KNOW THAT.  ABOUT KAMALA BEING QUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT AND TRUMP NOT BEING.  WHY DO I HAVE TO BE REMINDED.  Hmm.  I have to Remind Other People.  And if, in the process of Having To Remind Other People, I have to Remind Myself As Well, then SO BE IT.  Alright.  PAY IT FORWARD I say!  It all comes back to me in the end when Kamala is elected!  Everybody Wins!  WE ALL WIN when Kamala wins!  Not a single soul loses!  Maybe Trump.  He loses.  But that's about it!  Everyone else gonna ultimately do better with Kamala winning!  What else is going on!  Think I'm leaning towards the Chicken Roll!  It's Great Tasting!  Can't argue with the facts!  Anyway. I realized recently I never finished watching Get A Life.  I enjoyed that show.  What's stopping me from watching the second halve of the series!  Probably Nothing!  Busy watching Other Things first.  Like THE OFFICE.  Huh.  Why aren't I re-watching The British Office.  Maybe because I DON'T KNOW WHERE.  Also because I DIDN'T THINK OF IT.  Also because I CAN ONLY WATCH ONE THING AT A TIME.  I'm only human!  There are Limitations to What I Can Accomplish.
   Penultimate paragraph!  It's very possible my Late Nite Comedy Teacher writes or has written for Jimmy Fallon!  Internet is HEAVILY suggesting it!  Pretty much flat out saying it.  That's pretty exciting!  Nice job!  Anyway.  What else can I write today.  More Ineffective Suggestions about Voting For Kamala.  Trump said you should be imprisoned for criticizing Judges.  I DON'T WANT TO BE IMPRISONED FOR CRITICIZING JUDGES.  That's not the kind of thing I'm into!  I like civil liberties!  Kinda grown accustomed to the ones I have!  Let's expand on those!  Wouldn't like the ones I have taken away from me!  WHY would you vote for this douchebag!  Anyway.  Maybe you're just really racist and/or misogynistic.  NOT YOUR FAULT!  Just your world view!  Yeah.  No time like the present to STOP BEING THAT You Fool!  WE ARE ALL EQUAL UNDER THE SUN.  Don't support this Conman just because he activates your Hate Glands!  You think you're making White People and/or Men STRONGER with Trump?  ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK EVEN WEAKER!  Dummy!  Anyway.  I dunno.  One more paragraph!
   Okay.  I can't have that many Trump Supporting White Supremacist Women Hating readers.  HMM.  Maybe there are a couple!  In which case What The Fuck Is Your Problems?  Anyway.  What else is going on.  Those aren't the primary people in the country!  White Supremacist Women Haters!  That's not the Default American as far as I'm concerned!  It is a minority.  That's why Kamala is ahead in the polls!  That's why we're gonna win in November!  So that's good.  But we have to ACTIVATE our Majority if we want to win.  Can't just assume we'll turn out based on nothing!  Gotta do the work.  I don't KNOW what to do EXACTLY.  Personally, I'm just gonna keep writing and SEE WHAT HAPPENS!  DO YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA.  Really.  Do you?  Cause if you do THAT WOULD BE GREAT.  I'd appreciate the clarifications!  Anyway.  Let's see.  Good to get some of that stuff off my chest!  It's sometimes slightly therapeutic to put how I feel about something into words.  I don't make THE BEST points.  My mind isn't The Tops these days.  But I can at least MAKE SENSE.  I can string together a thought or two LOGICALLY.  That's Not NOTHIN.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-4:51 P.M. 
         
    
   

Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Let's Make It Quick, I'm Pretty Busy

    Hi!  Entry time!  How does this go again.  Doesn't matter, let me try to Start From Scratch.  That sounds difficult.  Don't worry, most of Me Starting Scratching Around is actually Me Remembering How It Used To Go.  Oh okay good.  I was disappointed last night to find the Halal Cart was closed by the time I arrived!  Ended up getting Chipotle instead!  Not THE ENTIRE FRANCHISE!  I just got a couple of burrito bowls!  One for last night, one for tonight.  It was like fourty seven dollars overall.  That's a lot of money!  I had to PAY IT.  Chipotle, man!  They be CHARGING.  San Francisco Chargers!  Where do The Chargers play?  LOS ANGELES?  I think they should totally 100% mix up the names of the teams and the cities/states.  AND I GET TO DECIDE.  Why would anyone else get to decide.  I'm a smart intelligent well reasoned guy.  Society can trust me to make the best choices for determining which Team Name each City should be matched with!  Cause as of now it's certainly not 100% Optimized!  For example they should be the San Francisco Chargers!  That's just a taste of what I'm capable of.  First one's for free!  What the Hell is wrong with me.
   Okay!  Write an entry, they said!  It'll be easy, they said!  People will relate to you, they said!  UGH.  The moral of the story is I Must Do Better.  Wow.  Better.  Holding myself to high standards!  INTERESTING.  I like the sounds of that!  Woke up today thinking why is it that we have a presidential candidate who is a convicted felon and rapist and nobody talks about that.  Just kinda seems odd!  We had a candidate who looked really old after a debate and the press rightly speculated whether it was appropriate for him to continue running.  We have another candidate who is a convicted CRIMINAL and RAPIST but nobody ever talks about that!  I woke up today with that on my mind and was like Huh?  Wha?  HOW IS THAT THE CASE. That's weird.  I mean I know how that is the case.  Because The World Runs On Dunkin.  That's my euphemism for how I say The World Works In Mysterious Mostly Negative Ways!  Sounds about right.  Is it really Mysterious.  If you're IN POWER maybe it's not that mysterious! I dunno.  Mysterious to me!  Mostly Misty from my angle!  Anyway.
   Dude rapes people and commits crimes!  He's a fuckin' monster!  If you support someone like that what does that say about you?  You're an asshole!  Sorry!  Anyway.  What else is going on.  The good news is He's Also Mentally Unwell.  So you got that going for you, too!  Anyway.  Been thinking about the war in Gaza because Macklemore The Rapper released a FOLLOW UP SONG to his smashhit protest song about the war in Gaza!  HMM.  THAT'S NO GOOD EITHER.  That shouldn't be happening!  Why the Hell is America just contributing financing to the war with no strings attached!  I get being pro-Israel.  I get being pro-Israel to a fault!  I don't get being Pro-Israel to THIS MUCH of a fault!  AT SOME POINT it's too much!  YOU HAVE LEVERAGE.  Let me put this in words you can understand: C'MON MAN.  Look, I don't know the specifics of the war!  I am not 100% informed!  But I know there are unnecessary levels of killing that can be stopped by easy moral choices, albeit maybe not political decisions!  Anyway.  That solves that problem.  Whew!
   Fourth paragraph!  What's a NECESSARY level of killing.  You know like when you bomb a prison full of GUILTY people.  Ah I see very well.  Anyway.  What else in the world is PISSING ME OFF.  There's a new George Clooney/Brad Pitt movie called WOLFS?  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT.  The plural of Wolf is DEFINITELY WOLVES.  Every second grader could tell you that!  I guess they stylized it Wolfs FOR FUN.  Maybe it's relevant IN TEH PLOT.  Hmm.  I dunno!  I think if George Clooney and Brad Pitt are co-stars, George Clooney is gonna get first billing, BUT Brad Pitt is the bigger star.  That's how I rank em!  Brad Pitt is a bigger star IN GENERAL.  But I'm giving George Clooney first billing WITHIN the Film's Ranking!  Just a gut feeling.  Why would you trust my gut feeligns on this.  I don't know anything ABOUT CELEBRITY.  Not my thing, really!  I couldn't even list any other celebrities!  Hmm.  John Krasinski.  Rainn Wilson.  Steve Carell.  Basically Anyone I've Seen In The Last 24 Hours is a celebrity to me!  Well, ya gotta Celebrate Somebody.  Might as well be The Most Recent Person You've Seen!  I dunno.  Think I'm gonna celebrate and boost Kamala Harris for the next 8 weeks!  That's priority number one!  After that I DUNNO.
   Hey, time for a new paragraph, that can only be good news!  Why would I write Shitty New Paragraphs!  Well I've done so IN THE VERY RECENT PAST.  SO WHO KNOWS?  TOUCHE.  Sometimes my phone buzzes for no apparent reason.  Often!  Probably like six or eight times a day!  Must signify SOMETHING.  I dunno what it is, though! HMM.  What am I not checking.  By buzz, I mean, VIBRATE.  Short little 3 or 4 Bursts of Vibration.  Same as if it were a Text Message For Me.  But NO TEXT MESSAGE.  NO APPARENT THING HAS HAPPENED.  What's going on.  Hmm.  Really makes ya think.  Should I see Megalopolis this weekend?  Probably not!  SEEMS LIKE A BIT MUCH.  I'll wait until Streaming for this one!  I might enjoy it, sure, but it seems like One Of Those Films You Have To Pay Attention To! Not sure I'm ready for that kind of commitment.  Should I see the animation film about the robot.  Huh.  Nothing about that sounds agreeable to me.  It gets good reviews!  SO WHAT.  SO DID YOUR MOTHER but I didn't have sex with HER Yet Either!  I WIN THAT ROUND.  Made you seem foolish in front of everyone!  Because of your Mother's Promiscuity!  NOW YOU LOOK DUMB.  Huh.  What's wrong with me.  HALFWAY THROUGH THE ENTRY.
    Okay.  What else is going on.  Probably some great stuff along with the bad!  Hmm.  Enjoying The Office.  It's like I get to live vicariously through them!  OR they get to live vicariously through me!  How does that work.  I dunno.  Lemme think about it for a second.  Hmm.  I get why they would name the main character MICHAEL but where does SCOTT come from.  I'm not saying it's BAD.  I'm just WONDERING.  What's Michael Scott's middle name.  This one is for the super fans only!  Trivia Question!  ALRIGHT YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH TIME to get your answers in!  The correct answer is GARY according to Google's AI.  So take it or leave it.  I dunno if you wanna trust that or not!  Your choice!  Okay.  Fine.  Starting to be SweaterJacket Weather!  Get to wear my sweaterjacket outside.  I like that stylewize, comfortwize, being able to put my hands in my pocketwize, having a hoodwize... The benefits go on and on!  The main negative is It's Too Warm If It's Warm Outside.  That's why I wait until it's colder to start wearing it!  So there ya go.  Amazing.  What the Fuck is wrong with me.  Oh boy I can't wait to Start Telling Me.  Also, the flip side of the coin, I can't wait to Find Out!  
   Seventh paragraph.  I DIDN'T LIKE THIS ENTRY WHERE CAN I GO TO GET A REFUND.  Continue reading I'll tell you at the end of the entry.  OH OKAY.  Anyway.  What else is up.  No marijuana with today's entry!  Maybe tomorrow!  Or maybe Thursday!  Maybe next week!  Ya never know!  Hmm.  Did John Krasinski at some point hear a director say QUIET ON SET and go Hmm I just got an idea for a movie.  Probably!  A Film Studio is A Quiet Place when they're shooting.  It's important!  You can't be making noise, it'll show up in the movie, we can't have that!  The Mets have an 80-88% chance of making the playoffs per the internet!  AWESOME.  I'd be really into it if they were in Oh I Don't Know THE WORLD SERIES.  I mean, sure, A Wild Card Game would be nice.  I could get into that.  But A WORLD SERIES?  Now we're talking REAL JOY.  They don't call it THE FALL CLASSIC for nothing.  I don't care if they WIN.  They're already participating as much as the winning team 100%.  I Say MAKE The World Series and that's the best season you could ask for!  IF THEY WIN THE WORLD SERIES I'D PROBABLY GO CRAZY.  Or sane, as the case may be!
    Three paragraphs to go!  Wonderful!  I'd keep The New York Mets.  If I'm remixing team names across cities.  Because I personally am invested in that brand culturally!  Go figure.  I'd rename the Yankees, though!  Just because it'd TICK THEM OFF.  I thought I was being altruistic with this exercise.  Oh.  Right.  Fine, let's do that!  Hmm.  MOVING ON!  I'll be altruistic with YOU RIGHT NOW and MOVE ON WITH THE ENTRY.  They're called The Yankees cause they jerk off a lot.  Right.  Just figured that one out.  Good!  Maybe it's cause they're Patriotic.  Ever think about that?  No but now that you mention it Of Course That's The Case.  Yankees are what the British called us in the Revolutionary War or something.  SO when they named Team Names in the turn of the century One Of The Other Centuries THEY HAD THAT IN MIND.  Hmm.  I might be one of the last people to think The Turn Of The Century was 1900.  If you were born A Couple Years After Me you might think The Turn Of The Century was 2000!  HMM.  WHAT'S TEH CUTOFF EXACTLY.  WHY DO I CARE.  BECAUSE IT CAME UP.  I CARE ABOUT THINGS THAT COME UP.  THAT'S THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF THINGS.  If we didn't care about things as they come up WHERE WOULD WE BE AS A SOCIETY. 
   Penultimate paragraph.  Huh.  I can't wait to write a good entry potentially in the future at some point!  Wow.  That should be entertaining.  In the meantime let's see if I can't wrap this up Close To Adequately!  You can't wrap something up with TWO CLOSING PARAGRAPHS.  That's 20% of The Entry!  That's Too Long Of A Wrap Up.  Still in THE THICK of it now!  Oh, no!  UCB class starts in 50 hours!  That should be fun!  I should mentally prepare myself to SUCK on Day One!  Okay!  I've spent MY WHOLE LIFE preparing for that!  Sucking In Public Since 1993.  Hmm.  I guess I started Sucking In Public around Kindergarten!  Anyway.  Guess I'll have to shave tomorrow.  That's good.  You can't spell, "Shave," without, "Have!"  So there's That.  Good.  Anyway.  I dunno.  What can I do tomorrow such that the entry will be better than today.  Maybe smoke marijuana.  Nah.  That's not a good habit.  Maybe LIVE BETTER.  From the end of today's entry until the start of tomorrow's.  That's a premise I often consider.  IF I LIVE MY LIFE BETTER I will in turn PRODUCE BETTER CONTENT.  Not sure how accurate it is!  Hard to gauge cause it usually doesn't motivate me to live any better so I never have any evidence one way or the other!
     Last paragraph!  Anyway!  Now it's time to wrap up the entry!  Last paragraph.  Final 10%.  Okay!  Almost halfway done with the work-week!  Woah.  Looking forward to catching up with James Hendrix in a couple of days.  He just discovered ACID when I last left him!  Seemed to like it!  I think I was dosed acid at one point without my then-knowledge or consent!  Ah, well!  These things happen!  Probably shouldn't, though!  Literally Fucking with people's heads like that is really pretty abusive!  I DON'T LIKE IT.  That's life on this planet for ya.  If you can't stand the Acid GET OUT OF TE KITCHEN.  Anyway.  If you can't stand the acid CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME MUSHROOMS.  Okay, sounds fair!  Gotta alter your perception somehow!  Otherwise what are we even doing here!  It's boring!  Good.  I guess.  Whatever.  Okay.  HMM I DON'T REMEMBER THERE BEING A SMALL TAB OF PAPER IN THIS WATER BOTTLE I WAS DRINKING.  That was a thought I had at some point in my life!  Coincided with me starting to trip really hard!  We can only speculate what might have happened!  Anyway.  That's it for today!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-4:55 P.M.     
       
                     

Monday, September 23, 2024

But First, I Have To Write The Blog

    Hello, Dear Readers.  Gotta write a fun entry now!  I had a real Four Out Of Ten Weekend!  Wow.  Four.  Started re-watching The Office (United Stats).  That's a fun show!  My biggest complaint is Michael Scott's hair is too greasy.  I feel like they address that as the show goes on, though.  I'll be keeping an eye on it!  My second biggest complaint is Too Much Jim and Pam stuff!  Why would I want to be reminded of Romantic Love IF I'M NOT ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN IT'S PRACTICE.  Unless it's some Meta Storylien where Pam is in love with the audience member of The Office A.K.A ME Why Do I Care?  Maybe there's a subtle plotline that I didn't pick up on the first time around in The Office where Pam falls in love with Random Audience Member of Eventual Prospective Office Documentary Show Within The Show.  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  I'm happy about that storyline!  NOW let's see if it manifests as I continue to watch!  I don't think it will!  I don't remember that!  But life is full of surprises!  What was the last thing that surprised me.  Hmm.  Sometimes when I'm listening to music It Starts A Shuffle!  I pick a song and then it decides to give me new, similar song based on that song when the first song ends.  And then continues to continue on FROM THAT SONG.  A new shuffled song from the new song and then a new song from that song!  I DON'T KNOW WHY.  90% of the time I listen to a song THAT'S IT.  10% OF THE TIME IT DECIDES TO MAKE IT A BIG CONTINUOUS THING.  That's Surprising!
    My Late Nite Comedy Class is FULL.  Great!  Wonder how many people that is.  8?  12?  Probably one of those numbers!  Could be 10 or 14 I guess!  Seems wrong, though!  Watched Agatha All Along.  I liked that!  Not sure why it's a Super Hero TV Show.  It's about witches.  There's somethin' to it, though!  Watched The Penguin.  Not sure why it's a Super Hero TV Show.  That's ALMOST CLOSE to a Super Hero TV Show.  It has BIG Characters.  The characters are SO BIG they border on being Super Hero TV Characters!  Borderline Big.  Watched the trailer to the new adaptation of Salem's Lot.  Not sure why it's a Super Hero TV Show.  Because it isn't.  No one is claiming it is.  Probably are a dozen ir twi people across the land who are.  We don't know who they are but they're out there!  AND THEY NEED HELP.  Anyway.  At this point I've worn my Harris Walz shirt three times and I've registered ONE outside impression.  A LADY Impression.  She seemed to approve.  She looked at my shirt and instinctually went out of her way to make positive eye contact with me!  It's probably the best thing that ever happened to me now that I think about it!  Wow.
   Great!  Might get Halal Food tonight.  What a delite!  Either way.  I don't relate to any of the characters of The Office INDIVIDUALLY but I relate to ALL OF THEM AS A COLLECTIVE very strongly.  Wait, no.  I got that backwards.  I can't relate to them as a collective, but I relate to all of them individually.  Wait, no. I somewhat relate to them individually, and I somewhat relate to them as a group.  Wait, no.  My feelings of how I relate to them as individuals and as a group are relatively complicated.  There We Go!  How complicated can it be.  I don't know.  I never worked in an office.  I guess I did for like 9 months to a year.  I was the Disliked Student Intern.  The computer I sat at was in more or less the lobby/common area.  Spent most of my time recreationally and most people realized that.  BUT I didn't have anything to do!  No one gave me any work!  If I have no work to do, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT OF ME?  I CAN'T DO WORK THAT ISN'T THERE.  Hmm.  At the time I was under the impression This entire organization is bogus.  No one here does any work.  It's just that I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS ANY GUFF ABOUT IT.  Other people probably did work.  I dunno! 
   Anyway.  What's the most Good Work I did in my life.  Gotta be a Highlight SOMEWHERE.  Huh.  Schoolwork, I guess.  If we're counting THAT.  I guess there were periods of my life I worked hard FOR SCHOOL and whatknot!  GUITAR.  Lots of phases of my life where I spent lots of time with Guitar and Writing Songs!  Writing Other Stuff.  WOW I'VE DONE LOTS OF WORK.  I'M A HERO.  Played video games to completion.  That's work.  Read more Jimi Hendrix this past weekend.  JUST starting to become the Jimi Hendrix we know and love and want to MAKE LOVE to.  Hmm.  I like him alright.  I like the book alright!  Starting to like his music alright!  Possibly Not Enough, though!  When I look back on my life From A Distance later on, I may say Yeah Jimi Hendrix, I liked him okay, but WAS IT ENOUGH?  It's close!  I like it all PRETTY GOOD.  But as of now there's room for improvement.  Still got more than half the book left!  MAYBE I LIKE HIM MORE MOVING FORWARD.  I like him as a CONCEPT.  I always have.  Just that there's this supernaturally talented person who had this mythological life with extraordinary sexual powers.  Can't argue with that.  I like the sound of that.  Even if it's not ME.  I like that SOMEBODY had that life!
   Fifth paragraph.  Cool!  Anyway.  200 or so epodes of The Office.  Gotta imagine the majority of those are good!  I remember losing interest in the later seasons, but I'm sure to re-watch them ANYWAY.  Gotta take it One Season At A Time.  Each season is it's own thing, probably!  Each EPISODE is its own thing!  Each THING is it's own thing!  For sure!  Which characters are you supposed to root for and which are you rooting against.  I think we root for all the characters.  Maybe we're rooting against ROY.  Because he's the antagonist of JIM.  But unless they're Antagonists to main characters, we're rooting for all the characters!  I dunno.  Why should I root for ANYONE or root AGAINST anyone.  That's MY precious Energy.  I'm not gonna waste it on frivolous things like that.  What a pointless activity!  Hmm.  Also it's a Family Sitcom.  Good Enough things will happen to the main characters, Don't Worry About It!  I dunno about that.  Ya never know.  Oh No Now I'm Scared.  What If Angela Gets Cancer or something and dies.  THESE THINGS HAPPEN EVERY NOW AND THEN ON SHOWS.
    Halfway through the entry!  On a very special 4 episode arc of The Office... Angela GETS CANCER AND DIES.  It could happen!  I mean at this point IT CAN'T.  Show has been over for a decade!  But they COULD have killed off some Office Members if they wanted to while the show was still running!  Anyway.  If The Office was made today I ASSUME Angela woulda be very MAGA.  Hmm.  Would Michael Scott be susceptible to Donald Trump?  I guess it depends on if we're talking about 2016 or 2024!  I dunno!  I think he'd vote for Trump in 2016 but not in 2024.  What about 2020.  WHAT AM I A MIND READER.  A mind reader of Fictional Minds.  That makes is even harder to read the mind!  Because it doesn't exist!  There's nothing to read.  THERE'S NOTHING THERE.  Or maybe it's easier to read.  We can Make Up Our Own Thing To Read!  Wow!  What was I talking about again.  When it's all said and done, is Michael Scott the most relevant Namesake Character I GOT named Michael?  Hmm.  Are we talking Just Fictional Characters?  Or are we including Famous Celebrities named Michael?  Hmm.  What other fictional Michaels are there.  Michael Myers.  That's a good one!  Michael Corleone.  Awesome.  Mike Brady from The Brady Bunch.  Those are the main ones I guess!
  Wonderful.  Not a lot of great FICTIONAL Michaels But lots of great ACTUAL Michaels.  Michaels Rule The World!  I guess.  So what else is going on.  No marijuana this entry!  Not a hilarious entry, but at least it makes sense!  I don't hate it!  Five out of ten!  That seems high.  Anyway.  I like the Penguin because I identify with Men with less than Ideal physiques.  I MYSELF don't look like a penguin but in my inner psyche I DON'T THINK I LOOK NORMAL.  I wonder how normal that is.  Hmm.  Also this guy looks normalISH.  He's not a FREAK OF NATURE.  But he's not gonna win any Handsome Awards either.  They don't hand them out anymore!  Made too many people feel bad so they discontinued them!  Maybe this guy is handsome.  He's still Colin Farrell In The Face.  Gotta imagine that counts for something with the ladies!  And some of the fellas!  And a few of the folks in-between!  I dunno.  I hope MORE Batmen Characters show up in the series.  I'm okay with NO BATMAN but you gotta give me MORE than Just Penguin.  Hmm.  I've never read a single comic book in my life.  I'm no DC UNIVERSE AFICIONADO.  I musta read a Burger King Fun Times Character Comic Book Kids picture book at some point.  THAT RINGS A BELL.  There ya go.  I've read a comic book.  I BLEW MY CHERRY ON THAT.
   Eighth paragraph.  I'd probably like comic books.  What if I made that part of my lifestyle.  I dunno.  What's it to ya?  Three paragraphs to go.  Super Heroes will be my friends!  And/or my Superiors!  Hmm.  That doesn't sound right.  Now that I think about it.  Doesn't sound right at all!  Anyway.  If I was in The Office which one would I be.  I guess I'd be An Unattractive Jim.  What IS that.  Hmm.  I dunno!  I TOLD YOU I put some thought into how I relate to each character.  There's something there for all the characters.  But at this very moment I'm thinking I'm Jim But I'm A Foot Shorter.  And how would that difference play out in real time over the entire course of The Office?  I DUNNO!  We can only speculate!  IT AIN'T GOOD THOUGH.  In no universe is me being a foot shorter A BENEFIT to my Office Character.  ONLY GONNA CAUSE ME PROBLEMS.  Hmm.  Maybe Me Being Short Jim makes me Be An Amateur Musician.  There we go!  Now it's a benefit!  I'm Short Jim in Scranton Pennsylvania and I'm actually a budding songwriter.  Because I'm short and have to look inward for creative self validation.  YEAH.  What's going on again.
   Penultimate paragraph.  Oh JIM.  HALPERT.  Now I get the character.  Anyway do the supplementary characters in the Office KNOW they're supplementary characters in The Office.  I mean WITHIN the show.  Like, does Phyllis KNOW Within The Office she's not really the first person people think of when they come into the Office each day.  I don't think so.  Not necessarily!  WHO IS the first person people think of when they come to The Office.  THE WORK.  THE WORK COMES FIRST.  ALWAYS.  Anyway.  I forget what I was talking about.  I don't think I've ever seen ANY Quiet Places.  They were directed by Jim Halpert's alter ego John Krasinski!  Seems boring.  If I wanted to watch Everyone Be Quiet I could just NOT PUT ON THE TV.  Easy!  There's silence that way!  Must be a good movie though because it got good reviews.  Why would critics risk their reputations to give good critiques to a bad movie?  They would never!  Ugh.  What else.  I relate a lot to Michael Scott.  Primarily in the context that I Try To Be Funny Publicly To No Avail.  LOTS of crossover there!  But beyond that WHO CARES.
    Last paragraph.  Must be a dozen shared characteristics.  Who can say exactly for sure.  He's a fictional person.  He doesn't EXIST.  It's Steve Carell PRETENDING to be someone else!  HE'S JUST A FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION.  Anyway.  Good!  I guess I'll watch more of that Television Show later tonight.  Anyway.  GLAD to not be using weed for entry today!  Then again maybe I would have thought of Interesting Things today.  I didn't think of ANYTHING INTERESTING today.  Hmm.  Maybe tomorrow I smoke for like Half The Entry.  Or the Next Day.  GOTTA MIX THINGS UP A LITTLE BIT.  We need SOME interesting things to happen, right?  Can't just be Bland Nothingness Forever!  Maybe I think of Interesting Things To Say without marijuana.  OK THAT MIGHT HAPPEN WE'LL SEE I GUESS.  JUST THROUGH THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF THINGS.  First things first STOP TALKING ABOUT THE OFFICE WHO CARES IT STOPPED AIRING IN 2013.  Oh.  Okay.  YOU GOT IT!  I thought people universally loved The Office!  AND ONLY TEH OFFICE.  I guess I could have been wrong, though!  I'll re-think that thought!  Hmm.  I guess that's it for today!  I'll be seeing ya tomorrow and whatknot!  Later!

-3:50 P.M. 

Thursday, September 19, 2024

We Can Only Speculate On The Contents Of The Entry

    HI FRIENDS.  Time to write the last entry of the week!  The drug intake plan for today is Beer Right Now and possibly Marijuana Later On!  I also just had an Iced Cream Cone for lunch more or less!  I could describe it for you but what would be the point.  I could go on about my experience with it but what would be the point.  I could comment on emerging trends in Iced Cream Cone Consumption in 2020's United States America but I don't have the details in front of me And Also what would be the point.  Is there a point to Anything Anywhere Anytime?  Probably!  I think I'm gonna try Lean Into Making Points ASAP.  Maybe I have to smoke some weed now.  Yep.  That probably is necessary.  I dunno.  I brought up Iced Cream Cones.  Surely that Signifies something.  It's a metaphor for I Had A Sweet Treat for about sixty seconds.  Was Crunchy Too for the second half!  I'm stuck with that story for an entire paragraph!  That's all we got!  Well I got nine paragraphs to make it up for it then.  I like to feel useful!  Let's see how that goes! 
    I am going to start my Three & A Half day weekend tonight with part two of Chinese Food.  Just the same thing as part One!  Nothing New!  More General Tso's Children and Park Fried Rice!  WELL this time the bonus is an Egg Role instead of some Soup.  SO UP.  When Chinese People think of their brand of cuisine do they just think of it as, "FOOD."  They don't think of it as Chinese Food.  Nope.  Probably just Food!  Good!  Definitely IN CHINA do they think of it as, "Food."  I guess it's possible that in America if you're Chinese American and making Chinese Food you might conceptualize it AS Chinese Food!  Depends on how homogenized you are!  Hmm.  I probably made this observation before, but WHO orders off the American Menu from a Chinese Take Out Place.  Presumably SOME People.  They all got the American Section to the menu!  Chicken Wings.  French Fries.  Chicken Nuggets I guess.  Must be some people who are like Hey you want Chinese Food?  Okay.  Let's Order Chinese Food. ... HELLO?  ALRIGHT I'LL GET THE MOZZARELLA STICKS!
   Anyway.  I guess it's for the Fussy Eater in the group who DOESN'T want to order Chinese Food.  Fine.  Poke holes in my Theories if it makes you feel like a big man!  Chinese Food is a pretty Communal delivery enterprise.  The premise is usually you got a Group of people getting Chinese Food!  Might have A Dumb Person amongst that group that wants, "Fried Scallops," which I GUESS is An American Dish.  In the sense that Nobody Wants It.  AMERICANS'LL CLAIM THAT MEAL.  We'll make the thing that's dumb and no one in their right mind would want.  WHY NOT.  I'd eat some Fried Scallops.  I'm the exception that proves the rule.  Or possibly The Rule That Proves The Exception? Hmm. Fried Scallops.  What does it SIGNIFY.  Whatever.  American Cuisine is pretty good.  NOT AFRAID TO FRY NEW THINGS!  Good.  This is just the Chinese People's IMAGINATION of how American Cuisine might go now that I think about it.  They really don't know!  They didn't study under any American Master Chef's!  They're just winging it!  Hmm.  Now I kinda wanna try it!  It really is Chinese American Cuisine TO SOME extent!  They're still cooking it in the same WOK one might imagine!  I DON'T KNOW WHAT A WOK IS.
   Fourth paragraph.  Anyway.  I liked scallops as a kid!  I haven't had scallops in a good while, but as a kid, I'd get me some Fisherman's Platters and whatknot, sure!  We used to go Out To Eat as a family probably 2-4 times a week.  Lots of opportunities to order Full Dinners is the point. And Seafood was ALWAYS on the menu.  Huh.  I'd err on the side of Broiled or Boiled or Steamed or Whatever The Alternative To Fried Is, but I'd get Fried once in a blue moon!  How do YOU feel about Fried vs. Not Fried Seafood?  Gotta prefer one way!  Does it matter.  THIS IS OUR LIVES WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.  OF COURSE IT MATTERS.  WHY WOULD YOU SAY YOUR LIFE DOESN'T MATTER.  WHO MADE YOU FEEL THAT WAY.  Jeez!  What else is up.  What kind of Shenanigans are the Republicans up to!  Hmm.  The thing I Just Read is Republican Governor of Oklahoma purged 20% of the voters from the rolls.  That's a lot!  That seems OUT OF ORDER.  And that's the thing I JUST READ.  You never read about Democrats doing that to Republican voters.  Because we like Democracy!  We try to increase it!  They're trying to fuck with it!  Yet the only way they can WIN is by WINNING THROUGH IT.  HOW IRONIC.  I don't get it. 
   They hate Democracy so much but they can't get power unless they win by its rules.  So they gonna try to fuck with its rules!  Game the system as much as possible so they win!  And if Trump and the current strain of Republican is ever in power again who knows how far they'll go with it.  Cause they don't give a shit about Democracy!  They just want power!  SO THAT'S A FUN THING TO READ.  Let's move on.  Why do I read Threads and Twitter all day.  If I really, really wanted to, I could read it maybe once or twice a day!  DON'T NEED to refresh it all the time!  Life will go on with or without me!  I heard about it in a Police song!  It was actually a U2 song now that I think about it!  What was I thinking!  STUPID.  Tangibly, is there any effect if Voters in Oklahoma can't vote.  NOT ON ME.  But presumably there's LOCAL ELECTIONS that matter!  OKLAHOMA WHERE THE SUN SHINES SURELY ON THE RAIN.  You know that musical song, how does that go!  I must have made this joke before.  But how about a U2 cover band called, "Even Me?"  Hmm.  Probably should come up with a list of 20 U2 cover band Joke Names if I wanted to be taken seriously as a comedy writer.  I'll get working on that later on in my life when it seems like the thing to do.
   Halfway through the entry!  Little Known Fact-- Run DMC's song You Be Illin' was written in response to the band UB40.  It's what they call A DIS TRACK.  I don't like it!  Can't all musicians just get along?  We're all on the same team!  The folks who want audiences to just sit there for three or four minutes and be like Hmm, these sounds coming into my head, I'm grooving on it for a second.  We're the people WHO ACCOMPLISH THAT.  More or less on the same side! No need for dis tracks!  What is, "Dis, " short for!  Distaste!  Distance!  Disrespect!  YES.  I got there eventually!  R-e-s-p-e-c-t.  That is what you mean to me!  That's a good song.  I'm gonna have to remember to remember to listen to it later on.  I respect the artists who put together that song.  I know Aretha Franklin famously sung it.  HAHA.  Aretha.  Urethra.  That's an easy way to make fun of her IF I WERE A THIRD GRADE BULLY.  Awesome.  What could I call her If I Was Anyone Else.  Aretha.  What if I HAD to make a pun out of her name but in a RESPECTFUL way.  That would never happen.  What would I call her If I Was Me Michael.  Probably Ms Franklin. 
    That's ARTFULLETHA FRANKLIN to you.  She's full of art!  There we go.  Aretha FranklyIN.  Very frank, as well!  AF is her initials.  She's Any Adjective AF.  She's Aretha Franklin AF.  Anyway.  AF.  Lemme think about that.  What am I thinking of.  Are you guys following this?  Earlier in the entry I could feel ya'll with me.  At this point No One's Here.  Possibly for the best!  ANYWAY Let's Start Over where We're All Following Along With Me and/or At Least With Each Other.  I got my CREDIT CARD STATEMENT today.  Not gonna say what my credit card number is exactly but suffice to say this bill had all the charges of the last month or so on it!  Pretty accurate as far as I can tell!  What the Hell.  Who is this for.  Me.  So I could review the charges.  SEEMED PRETTY ACCURATE AS FAR AS I CAN TELL.  What the Hell.  Anyway, I'm almost done with the workweek.  So if you're really invested in me being a happy boy, have I got good news for you!  I'M ALMOST THERE.  I could think of worst fates I guess.  Writing 8 Terrible Paragraphs.  Figuring out a way to write 2 decent ones.  THEN BEING A HAPPY BOY for a weekend!
   I've only written seven paragraphs so far.  Oh.  Well Then I Guess This One Better Be Terrible, Too.  Easy.  JUST LEAVE IT TO ME.  I'll write something terrible without practically any effort!  That's not what I'm gonna do right now, though!  I'LL WRITE SOMETHING GOOD, SPECIAL FOR YOU.  You and everyone else!  Real great stuff.  Not right now though actually.  I'm in the mood to write something nobody needs!  I didn't CHOOSE to be in this mood!  I guess.  What's something Audience needs to read right now.  What's on your minds.  Or what needs to be on your minds.  Hmm.  Oh.  You might want to hear about Certain Subjects.  WHO ARE YOU to tell ME to talk about What's Going On?  Wait a second I need to Talk About Important Topics otherwise why would anyone come back tomorrow.  I DON'T KNOW.  I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.  The good news is I can write two more paragraphs that are pretty good!  I could even Finish This Paragraph In A Positive Fashion!  Well there ya go The Power Of A Positive Attitude.
   Penultimate paragraph.  Let's See!  This should be fun!  What's on my mind.  Who cares.  My mind is the worst.  What's on your mind.  Your mind probably sucks, too.  ARE THERE ANY GOOD MINDS OUT THERE.  To zombies all our minds are Good Enough.  Maybe some zombies are picky eaters.  Won't eat Chinese American brains!  ONLY OFF THE AMERICAN menu!  Anyway.  THIS IS WHAT I WROTE?  ZOMBIE JOKE?  WHAT THE HELL?  I was anticipating writing something that was 10-15% better than that!  I feel like I let everyone down and it's accurate because I did let everyone down.  Should have written something that was 15-20% better!  THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW AND/or NEVER.  Hmm.  One day there Might Not Be Tomorrow!  I CALL IT, "THE LAST DAY ON EARTH."  Sounds interesting.  WELL that could be fun I guess but I'm not quite looking forward to it as of now.  I ENJOY TOMORROWS.  ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL.  So that's good.  Anyway.  What else is going on.  I'm SORRY that I'm not writing a perfect entry.  I can't go back now, though.  AT SOME POINT the entry veered off from being perfect. Probably around the 5th or 6th paragraph!  I CAN'T GO BACK NOW THOUGH IT'S TOO LATE.
   Last paragraph!  Great!  One paragraph to go!  One paragraph is the least amount of paragraphs you could possibly have to write!  Other than None!  How about that.  Let's see.  What to say!  Must be something.  Maybe put on some 30 Rocks Tonight.  I watched one or two last night with reasonable success!  Great!  That's a good start to a weekend.  Get some laughs out.  Exercise them lungs!  Couldn't hurt!  Is Alec Baldwin a bad guy because of his Misfire Incident.  I don't think We, The Public are supposed to blame him.  I know I DON'T.  But what if I Thought About It Harder.  Hmm.  Let me think about it.  Get some Gears Going.  Maybe some Electronics Erupting.  Nope.  I don't think I blame him for firing the gun.  But if he was to blame for hiring people who didn't know what they were doing with the props and that's why it happened then he might be slightly culpable for that.  HMM.  THIS TOPIC HAS CAPTURED MY IMAGINATION.  I guess a little bit.  I thought about it for roughly 10 seconds.  THAT'S A LOT OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING.  Well that's it.  I'll see ya next week!

-5:19 P.M. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2024

Who Cares What I Think Is Funny, I'm An Imbecile

    I'MA BE SILLY.  That sums that up I guess!  Had to get up this morning for another Doctor Appointment.  IT NEVER ENDS.  Life is just a never ending psychle of of Seeing The Doctor.  Today was Therapist.  Not really a Doctor.  She was located In A Hospital, though!  Also she does light Psychiatry.  That's Doctorish!  Anyway, nothing unpleasant happened there that I can remember!  This lady is the closest relationship I have besides my Parents and my Brother over the last fifteen years!  And we are NOT that close.  I'm not convinced Close Relationships ARE EVEN A POSSIBILITY.  As we all know We Might Be In A Simulation.  IF there is no reality, then Close Relationships might not be a thing!  Can't have Relationships with People Who Don't Exist!  Probably CAN.  You can still have a relationship with a Fake Person!  Would be kinda a Facade, but there could still be SOMETHING.  SO that's what I'm countin' on.  I'm pretty confident this is a Relatively Real Universe!  About 70/30 sure!  Those aren't bad odds.  What can we do to convince me One Way Or The Other.  Presumably there IS A CORRECT answer to this question.  Where can I find The Truth.  Hmm.  Maybe I will write the truth by accident one day and I'll read what I wrote and find out that way!
    The universe is whatever you want it to be!  So make it a good one!  Hmm.  In some ways I think I understand the Fabric Of Reality pretty well!  No Spoilers!  Anyway.  Anyway.  Oh I Already Said That.  Lemme start over.  Anyway.  Looks like pretty good odds I'm getting delicious Chinese Food tonight.  Jimi Hendricks was friends with Asian American people when he was a kid in Seattle.  This is notable because in the past RACISM used to exist!  He lived in a very diverse area of the city, though.  Equal parts white, black, Asian American, and they didn't mention any Jewish-Americans, but we can only speculate they were there but purposely left out of the book because there just wasn't enough space!  I bet Jimi Hendrix would have LOVED Jewish-Americans if he ever met any!  I can see him enjoying eating our cuisine.  Our culture.  My therapist who is Indian-American asked me if I was doing anything for the Holidays.  Which threw me for a second!  It's September!  She clarified, and I realized privately concurrently at the same time as she clarified, The Jewish Holidays.  Look I know all about Rosh Hashunah and Yom Kippur.  I'm not gonna FORGET about them this year or any year!  But they're not THE HOLIDAYS.  Don't PRESUME.
   Huh.  No movie this weekend!  Not in theaters at least!  Nothin' worthwhile to see!  I watched Poltergeist III last night for I'm gonna say the Sixteenth time and I DID NOT like it this time around.  Trying hard to think of SOMETHING NICE to say about it!  I thought it was nice that they had several shots where they set it up so that you could see actors move around IN MIRRORS in the shot.  You could see the actors Regular In The Shot AND you could see them in mirrors in the shot IN REAL TIME.  Well done positioning the camera on that.  Commendable job!  Also I thought it was nice that you saw a Normal Family living in an apartment.  You don't see that in movies that often!  Just average regular middle class family but they live in a metro apartment.  This family mightta been upperclass.  Still could call them an AVERAGE FAMILY though.  They're normal people even if they're wealthy!  Except for the interacting with ghosts and ghouls, though.  Most people don't do that.  Unless they do and it's just severely underreported!  Hmm.  I like the way it Goes To Closing Credits.  Without giving anything way, the transition from The Very End Of The Plot to the credits, the way they seamlessly did it... I just like the way they handled it, Editingwise!  That's about it.
    Okay.  OKAY.  THAT'S OKAY!  Is it possible any of my cell phones or other devices might explode.  I mean, probably not, right?  ...But it's possible!  I guess I'm not too concerned but now that's just ONE MORE THING I gotta worry about now!  You're more likely to explode in the car ride on the way to the apple store than for your phone to actually explode itself.  Oh okay great.  I guess the thing is I'd Have To Be Targeted to be bombed.  Doesn't happen to just random people!  WELL I have a very very popular website and sometimes I GO THERE ON THE ISSUES.  SO YA NEVER KNOW!  BUT BOMBING ME WOULD JUST MAKE ME A MARTYR.  I'd be even more powerful in death than I am in life!  WOW!  Sounds good!  Except for the death part.  That I think we can improve.  I'm not happy with that.  HMM.  SO WE'RE JUST MAKING RANDOM THINGS EXPLODE NOW?  I didn't know they could do that!  I think the premise is they built the phones themselves, put explosives in them, and then sold it to the people they eventually wanted to bomb?  That's the premise I'm operating under!  I DUNNO the other explanation if there is one!  Anyway.  Seems kinda overly complicated. MUSTA been a simpler way to do things.  Perhaps a less violent way, too!  POSSIBLE WE SHOULDN'T BE KILLING PEOPLE SO MUCH.
    Gotta kill SOMEONE.  Killing people is part of life!  It's as old as Citizen Kane and Abel.  Huh.  Never made that connection before with Citizen Kane.  Homonym with Biblical Cain!  Took us 90 years but SOMEONE FIGURED IT OUT.  Whew.  What is this, the fifth paragraph!  I guess.  Well what else is on my mind.  Had Orson Welles ever heard of The Bible when he wrote Citizen Kane?  My guess is he probably was familiar with the story and the names of the characters!  Anyway closing in on halfway done with the entry.  I guess after today I got ONE MORE ENTRY for the week!  Then it's A Delightful Weekend.  Good news for me and you. What do you do during your time off besides Wait For The Entries To Start Back Up Again.  Huh.  Must be tough to multitask.  But I'm sure you could probably manage one or two other things!  Entertain Your Friends And Loved Ones.  Hold Your Family Close.  DO WHAT I DO.  Just Celebrate It Not Being The Week!  THE WEEK SUCKS.  IT EPITOMIZES EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD.  We get a brief respite from it 2.5/7 of the time!  JUST ENJOY IT.
    Huh.  Great.  Just smoked a little bit of weed.  Had a beer with the first half.  Had some weed with the second half.  Let's see how that configuration goes.  What movie should I watch tonight besides Getting Chinese Food.  Hmm.  HORROR movie is certainly something I'd be in the mood for these days.  It's in the cards!  What cards would be in the cards these days if I were to pick a card from a standard deck of cards.  Eight of Diamonds.  Queen of Spades.  EIGHT of Spades.  How many cards should we speculate about.  I think three is good!  We got an old book in the house on Card Tricks.  How to do 'em and whatknot.  I never gave myself credit that I could actually learn from the book if I tried.  WHY NOT.  In my mind IT TAKES A SPECIAL PERSON to do card tricks.  IN REALITY anyone can learn if they wanted to.  Okay.  I don't want to, though!  Are there any books I have that teach me how to do things that I want to learn?  I got a UCB IMPROV MANUAL.  Oh.  Maybe I should consider reading that book and getting good at improv By Myself Alone In My Room.  Sure.  We'll put that in the Maybe Pile.
    Seventh paragraph!  Am I happy with the three cards I referred to in the previous paragraph.  Hmm.  No going back now anyway.  It was a Spur Of The Moment Thing.  That's what Picking Cards At Random is all about!  Sure.  What if I had to pick three cards again.   I dunno.  Literally?  I got cards!  I'll go pick some cards at random if that's what I want me to do!  OK YEAH.  King of Cl... ya know what I should shuffle these first.  Actually.  Also this isn't a full deck.  I dunno if we should talk about picking cards from this selection of cards because it's not a full deck!  OH OK I Found the rest of the cards.  Alright.  What's the game we're playing?  PICK THREE CARDS FROM THE DECK.  Okay.  Fun Game!  Alright I'm picking three cards from the middle of the deck!  HERE WE GO.  Eight Of Hearts.  Three Of Clubs!  AND THE SEVEN OF DIAMONDS.  I'm happy about how that turned out.  I think it was more fun than I anticipated it would be!  Anyway.  What could possibly top that excitement!  I'm sure I'll think of something.  Now I need something else to play with.  I just got to use a prop!  I'm typing at my keyboard.  NICE.  GET TO BANG AWAY.  Bing bang boom.  Type-a-way real methodological like.
     Three paragraphs to go.  There's nothing I HAVE to talk about.  WHAT MUST YOU KNOW.  There must always be something to say.  That's one theory of the universe.  At any given moment There's Something To Say.  And it's on us To Know What It Is.  HMM.  Is there Just One Exact Thing To Say.  Or is there a collection of things from which we can choose from to say at any given moment?  Not sure I like that idea!  Because then We Might As Well Say Nothing!  ONCE I'm trying to figure out Which Thing To Say, I'm already Thinking WELL AT THIS POINT I MIGHT AS WELL BE QUIET.  Anyway.  That deck of cards is calling to me.  What card would I get!  I bet I pick one of the ones I already picked.  Muscle memory and whatknot.  Let's see.  King of Clubs!  I said that card at some point early on!  Go figure.  What else is up.  I'm actually entertaining the idea of picking up the UCB Manual but on the other hand WHEN would I fit it in.  I don't have THE TIME for it.  Who needs time when you've got space.  I don't have space!  I don't have anything!  Well I got two more paragraphs left but that's of negligible value!
   Hmm.  Two more paragraphs to go!  Let's see how that goes!  If I wanted to make myself happy with this paragraph, how would I go about doing it.  Wha.  Huh?  I Don't Care!  Now that I think about it I probably should take more of an interest in what I'm typing.  OK THEN.  WHO CARES.  I lost track what's going on!  Man.  I'm A Terrible Writer.  I can't think of another writer in human history with such blatant disregard for their readers' experiences!  Wow.  That hurts.  The good news is I have Readers so that's kind of a Win!  It's something we can build on.  Can only make progress in a forward direction from here!  I suppose.  Shrug My Shoulders and move on with the entry.  I'm starting to regret that Big Commitment I made to the UCB Improv Manual.  It's stupid!  I'm not even IN an improv class anymore!  ALSO I'M ON ANOTHER BOOK.  I can only read one book at a time, I'm not Supraman!  WHATEVER I CAN READ MULTIPLE BOOKS AT ONCE IF THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO.  I COULD EVEN WRITE A BOOK.  I'LL WRITE SEVERAL BOOKS.
   Last paragraph.  Great!  I suppose I could do a good job or a bad job with this paragraph and I'm guessing the odds are I'll do a bad job.  This is the universe we live in.  How Bad Can It Be.  That sounds like a CHALLENGE TO ME!  Hmm.  Pretty Bad!  But wait no challenge me the other way I wanna see if I can do good for a change.  Nothing Good Will Ever Come Of This.  Okay THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE TO ME.  Numbers.  Shapes.  Colors.  Fluids.  Beakers.  Not sure we've reached a subject yet.  But maybe if I keep saying words we'll hit upon something.  No.  I'm done with words.  Really?  Am I SURE I don't wanna say some more words?  Yep.  Satisfied with where I'm at right now.  Random Wordswise at least.  Great!  I suppose!  To each their own!  Anyway I think this was an interesting Set-Up for an entry.  Beer for first half and some weed for second half.  I DUNNO.  KINDA COMPLICATED.  Why would I wanna do something So Complicated for the rest of my life.  Interesting counterpoint.  Anyway I'll see ya tomorrow.

-4:07 P.M.   
         
    

Tuesday, September 17, 2024

We're Getting To Be Kind Of Friends, Aren't We

    Hey, friends!  What's going on!  I had to get up early today to see a DOCTOR.  They're the Health People who look out for your Physical Well Being.  Decent Folks.  I have Health Insurance pay them in compensation for their acts!  Anyway, everything seems to be in order!  Lost two pounds over the last three months!  I was offered a flu shot but was advised to decline by my Dad.  He said it was too early for Flu Season!  He's gonna get a shot later next month.  He invited me to join him.  I guess I have to go do that.  Flew Season.  Is that a terrible band name.  It's a name for a terrible band AND it's a terrible name for any quality band.  Either way it doesn't work!  Bad band names with puns make me think IS THAT THE FIRST PUN YOU EVER THOUGHT OF?  You got so excited that you came up with a pun YOU JUST HAD to put it in your band name?  YOUR FIRST TIME HUH.  Enjoy it.  You'll never get this feeling again!  Unless you activate it through MEMORY.  You won't duplicate it through Coming Up With New Puns.  Each time the high will be a little bit less!  You'll only feel it through Remembering This Specific Pun Moment!  Ya never forget your first time!  What The Hell Am I Talking About.
    Hmm.  You can't spell PUNK without PUN.  Certainly we can work that into a Punk Band Name pun!  Put that on the cork board somewhere.  Gotta buy a new cork board at some point I guess, too!  DON'T HAVE ONE ATM.  The good news is I'm trying to write today's entry without weed.  Just beer!  And iced coffee!  Probably about 50% chance I go to Weed at some point in this entry!  We'll see!  Did the person who came up with Punk Music think MAN OH MAN PEOPLE ARE GONNA LIKE THIS.  After this no one is ever gonna wanna make or listen to NON-this Music.  Hmm.  I guess a lot of people still like mainstream music.  But for me my instinct is IF I CAN act like I'm in Punk-Adjacent Genre WHY WOULDN'T I.  I'm not necessarily REALLY.  I'm LAME.  I'm LAME STREAM ADJACENT.  But I'd certainly love to imagine I'm punk if I COULD.  Because WHY NOT.  It's Cooler!  Not a fan of how they play music so fast, though!  SLOW IT DOWN.  We get it, you're INTO IT.  Take a second and BREATHE.  Doesn't sound like I like Punk Music that much.  I never said I liked THE MUSIC.  I said I liked THE GENRE.  I like some Punk Music.  You know.  The Monopoly Men.  The Ouija Boards.  The Masterminds.
    I DON'T LIKE IT.  Two paragraphs down, though!  WHO named Stratego.  When he was pitching it he went Ya see the thing is you gotta use STRATEGY when playing this game.  I call it STRATEGO!  And Milton Bradley or whoever went OK FINE WE'LL STICK WITH THAT FOR SOME REASON.  There are a couple of standard Bomb/Flag Placement strategies in Stratego that every kid knows but DO WE ALL REALIZE THEM OURSELVES or are they passed down to us somehow by neighbors and loved ones?  WHERE DID WE FIGURE THEM OUT.  Flag in one corner, surrounded by 2 bombs, with 3 random other pieces between those and 4 other bombs.  That's the most obvious flag/bomb formation.  ALL KIDS KNOW THAT.  IS THAT A CASE OF US ALL BEING DIVINE GENIUSES TOGETHER?  Hmm.  I'm GUESSING other kids figured that one out.  And I'm GUESSING no one had to show it to them!  But maybe we were exposed to it from someone and that's how we found out.  OR MAYBE we all were able to figure it out on our own.  OR MAYBE that's just how Me & My Brother played!  HMM.  I've certainly reached NO CONCLUSIONS with this paragraph.  ASKED ONE OR TWO QUESTIONS THOUGH.  So that's good!  I just looked up Stratego Standard Build Orders.  Flag in corner surrounded by bombs is obvious!  The second layer of bombs might have been a Michael Family Specialty, though!
   WOW!  Now you know!  IF I ever thought I'd play any of you in Stratego I would delete that paragraph.  PROBABLY won't ever happen, though!  So I feel comfortable leaving it in there!  Now that I think about it what does the second layer of bombs accomplish other than tip the other side off on Which Corner the flag is probably on.  Hmm.  Michael Family might have been Not As Clever As It Might Have Thought!  I remember there being benefits to it that played out in real time!  Don't worry about it!  Looks like P Diddy as I can only imagine he's called today is in some legal hullabaloo as I can only imagine the word is spelled.  Ya know sex trafficking and whatknot.  When I was a kid and rappers called themselves pimps I really thought they were speaking metaphorically.  I was naive!  I guess that's on me!  Either way Sex Crimes are The Worst Crimes so fuck that guy presuming he's guilty!  How can I say that.  What if ONE DAY I'M GUILTY OF SEX CRIMES.  Well that's easy I WOULDN'T COMMIT SEX CRIMES.  What about publicly talking about jerking off.  I've done that!  IT'S TRUE.  IT'S NOT A GOOD THING I DID.  Well maybe I did it FOR A GOOD CAUSE.  To raise money for something positive or something.  I dunno.  Must have been a good reason!
   Fifth paragraph!  Today is National Voter Registration Day.  Lemme check to see if I'm still registered to vote.  YEP!  I STILL AM REGISTERED TO VOTE!  https://www.vote.org/am-i-registered-to-vote/  ARE YOU???  I wonder if I got any Swing Staters out there.  HOW MANY READERS can I possibly have that live in Weirdo States that matter in the election.  Hmm.  There are pockets of places that you might live that are in swing states!  LAS VEGAS.  HACKS.  You might be the real life version of HACKS or something.  Also there's lots of swing states!  This election there's like HALF OF THE STATES that are presumably in play!  YA NEVER KNOW.  Maybe I get some bacon and eggs tonight.  I don't like calling the meal bacon and eggs.  Should be Eggs And Bacon.  Eggs is the star of Bacon and Eggs!  If you are having more bacon than eggs in your meal then you're doing it wrong!  HOW DARE I TELL PEOPLE HOW TO HAVE THEIR MEALS.  How dare you tell me how I dare tell people things, how about that!  How dare I tell people how I dare tell people how dare I tell them tell them dare I that.  Huh.  Whatever.  I don't know.  Also get some homefries and/or hash browns.  Also some toast.  Should be a fine meal! 
    Halfway through the entry.  No marijuana yet!  At this point I LIKE MY ODDS.  Looks like Billie Eilish and her Brother In Crime endorsed none other than KAMALA HARRIS for President!  Good news!  Ain't bad news.  I assume they will cast literal votes in addition to their endorsement!  THAT'S TWO.  It's a start!  DO THEY live in North Carolina.  They live wherever they want they're celebrities.  Vagabonds!  Hop from state to state!  Wow that must be the life.  MOVING ON.  I don't like my odds of Not Smoking Marijuana so much anymore!  FEELS LIKE I HIT A WALZ.  Let's see if I can move on Based On Coming Up With Topics.  If I can think of a THING to talk about!  Mentally conjure up an ephemeral subject!  Instead of ingesting a physical substance!  Hmm.  Re-watched Blankman this past weekend!  I enjoyed it.  And guess what the name of the Good-doer, Heroic Mayor is?  HARRIS.  YES.  MAYOR HARRIS IS GONNA TURN THIS CITY AROUND.  HOW PRESCIENT.  They had him as a White Man and we might got a Black Woman but more or less the same thing!  ALSO they have Harris dying in a complicated bank explosion so look out for that as well.  IT WAS THE MOB.  BLANKMAN TRIED TO SAVE HARRIS.  Just couldn't do it!  IT'S JUST A MOVIE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.  Real Life Harris probably safe!
    Seventh paragraph.  I look at rotten tomatoes and see Blankman is rated 12% and I wonder DON'T PEOPLE LIKE TO HAVE FUN.  David Allen Grier HAS NEVER BEEN MORE... DAG!  Anyway.  The explanation for Blankman's name though is a little weak.  Someone asks him what is his name is, and he can't think of anything to say, and DAG goes He's Gone Blank, Ma'am.  And she goes Oh, BLANKMAN.  NOPE.  DAG CLEARLY SAID, "BLANK, MA'AM."  No wonder critics didn't like this movie!  I TAKE IT BACK.  What's going on again.  Hmm.  Also we get a DISABLED JASON ALEXANDER.  Just Jason Alexander, playing a jerkbag, in a wheelchair!  Hmm!  Moving on!  Down to only three more spots in my UCB class starting next week!  I guess it's Actually Gonna Happen!  I'll be writing Late Night Comedy Jokes like it's Nobody's Business!  HMM.  Will I be mediocre or will I be adequate! Will I come up with a couple of jokes that are TRANSCENDENT?  Probably!  Gotta be some Transcendence to the class ON SOME LEVEL.  If not me writing Amazing Jokes then Something Else!  Maybe I Receive Superb Teaching.  They just really knock it out of the park What They Impart Upon Me. Impart.  Embark.  Embargo.  What's up?
    Three paragraphs to go.  Amazing.  Might try marijuana again tomorrow.  People like variety!  A little bit of this for today, a little bit of that for tomorrow!  GREAT.  I don't wanna alarm anyone but I have to write an entire three more paragraphs and I don't know how the Hell ANYONE let alone ME can do that!  TO PUT IT BLUNTLY, I'M SOME SORT OF MORON.  Hmm.  Can't be TOO Difficult.  Just Write Some Sentences.  Let's Go.  Hey when's that The Office show starting.  There's a new show that's IN THE SPIRIT of The Office!  I dunno if it's literally in the same universe.  Or just We're starting a new show and We Decided We Want The Same Viewers as The Office (U.S.) So We Just Decided To Tell People It's Kind Of Like The Office.  Either way I'd check it out because Sure Why Not!  Oh.  THE PAPER.  It's not around yet!  Still in production!  Good.  I wish them the best of luck as I do all shows trying to capitalize on the success of other shows!  I watched The Film The Paper a month or two ago.  That wasn't that good!  Is that relevant to this discussion?  No!  It's not!
   Penultimate paragraph!  HMM.  I didn't realize they still made Newspapers.  Interesting.  Hopefully this TV Show ignites interest in that industry!  Anyway.  CAN'T WAIT to see some test results from my Giving Blood today.  Hopefully everything is in order.  I wish there was a third bracket besides Being Of Healthy Levels and Not Of Healthy Levels.  Whenever they measure Your Anything, you can either have Healthy Amount Of It OR UNHEALTHY.  I THINK AMERICANS WANT ANOTHER OPTION.  Off the top of my head, SUPER HEALTHY LEVELS.  Or maybe NONE.  Turns out they checked my White Blood Cells and I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY.  Hmm.  I guess that would just be covered by, "Unhealthy Levels," though.  Whatever.  I ALMOST WENT ON A COMEDY RIFF.  THAT WAS INTERESTING.  Only took my until the end of the entry to get there!  And I didn't fully follow through!  BUT WHAT A MOMENT IT ALMOST WAS.  This entry is fine.  Entertaining Enough for other reasons.  Somehow I got from the start to the end without Suiciding Myself!  THAT'S A WIN by almost any measurement! 
    LAST paragraph!  Tomorrow I may smoke weed again with the entry, I DUNNO.  Today wasn't great.  But neither was Yesterday With Weed.  So WHO KNOWS!  Whatever.  Closing in on being HALFWAY DONE with the weeksworth of entries!  That's great news FOR ME.  For you YOUR LIFE MOST LIKELY STILL SUCKS.  Sorry about that!  SO that's good.  Hmm.  Jimi Hendrix is part American Indian.  Also part SlaveMaster!  That's unfortunate!  WELL it's good That He Was Here.  But the specifics of how it all came to be wasn't necessarily pleasant!  So that's good.  Anyway I dunno.  Lemme think about what I wrote today.  Was any of it good?  No.  It wasn't.  Would Jimi Hendrix have liked it?  No.  He wouldn't have.  He'd be nonplussed by it.  What is this. I don't get it. Why am I reading this.  I don't understand.  That's what he would feel probably!  SO THAT'S WHAT I GOT FOR YA TODAY.  It's not perfect, but it's also not the best I can do!  Hmm.  I guess that's it!  I'll see ya tomorrow!  WOW. 

-3:57 P.M.

Monday, September 16, 2024

I'm Actually Between Weekends At The Moment

    Hey, friends!  Hope everyone had a nice weekend!  Mine was okay!  Started the Jimi Hendrix book.  First things first, his name is Buster!  That's what folks apparently called him.  Seemed like an okay dude.  Kinda quiet kid.  Real poorlike.  Grew up in the 1950's decade!  Parents had a dysfunctional relationship.  He had a bunch of disabled siblings.  THIS IS THE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT IS IT NOT.  "Give Six Random Facts About Jimi Hendrix as a child."  I'm passing the class Am I Not?  Jimi Hendrix was an okay student until he wasn't.  Over time he started performing to Less Than His Ability!  NOT SURE EXACTLY WHERE HE ENDS UP SCHOOLWISE.  I haven't gotten there yet!  He's only around 14 or 15 right now!  I started giving Jimi Hendrix Music a chance on some walks lately and it's pretty good!  I'm starting to get it!  Not 100% but certainly 70%!  Sounds good to me.  I can see my Jimi Hendrix Experience Enjoyment only grow over time!  Wouldn't wanna enjoy it 100% Though.  That sounds like Too Much.  Let's peak at 82%-92%!  What could possibly be wrong about enjoying The Jimmy Hendrix Experiment at 95%?  Well I can think of several things wrong off the top of my head.
    Okay.  Watched some sort of horror movie I think.  I couldn't tell you what it was, though!  Maybe one day in the near future it will Very Quickly Occur To Me but I can't pull it right now!  Let me check my history.  Oh.  It might have just been Some Of Poltergeist II.  There is a healthy debate amongst moviegoers whether Poltergeist II is good or bad.  You could use Poltergeist II as a stand in FOR LIFE.  IS LIFE Good or bad?  I SAY LIFE IS GOOD.  Also I rewatched LIFE on Saturday.  The Eddie Murphy Martin Lawrence Comedy(/Drama).  I LOVE that movie.  I'd like to meet likeminded peeps who got LIFE in their Top Twenty favorite movies.  I HAVE IT in my Top Ten but I only wanna meet Other People who have it in their Top Twenty.  LET'S GET SPECIFIC.  Why would I wanna meet someone who likes it as much as me.  We'd just be in Constant Competition for Who Likes It The Most!  Nope!  But Anyway.  My brother came over for a few hours yesterday.  He seems to be doing fine.  He was wearing a shirt with a Tabasco bottle pictured on it.  We are all in good spirits!
    Third paragraph.  Tell Dad.  Mom's Not Done.  Don't put the vacuum cleaner away.  She has to change the filter.  These are words Spoke Unto Me by my Mom just now!  Unless I wrote those words out here right now I'd Probably Forget.  I'm not the most mentally equipped person in the world!  Relatively Handi-capable.  And I mean it in the nicest way possible! What do the words I gotta remember mean.  Something to do with the vacuum cleaner.  My Mom still needs to change the filter on it.  And My Dad is prone to putting it away apparently.  It's on me now to act to make sure he doesn't!  I knew one day I'd Have To Do SOMETHING.  Ugh.  WHY ME.  Luckily when this is over I might get MONTHS before I have to do anything else.  Just lay in bed with nary a soul to rely on me.  Forever.  Okay.  Is that really what I want out of life?  Sounds like the most straight forward way to go about things, yeah.  Also WAIT A SECOND I'm not Disabled.  I don't wanna put that message out in the world!  I WAS GETTING BY JUST FINE being a Crazy Sane Person.  I'm not gonna be a Sane Crazy Person now!  That's not something I'm comfortable with.
    Fourth paragraph!  Change the filter.  What the Hell is a filter.  HOW DOES THIS MACHINE WORK?  This Machine Kills FascDusts.  Cool.  But that doesn't really explain much of anything really.  Anyway.  Down to four spots left for my UCB Writing For Late Nite class which starts a week from Thursday!  Oh.  Right.  That Thing.  Am I gonna shape my Identity around that now?  That's how it's worked for previous UCB Classes!  I really do go out of my way to pretend I'M GONNA BE THAT THING WHICH I'M STUDENTING FOR.  It's definitely a plus to go into things and Commit To The Bit!  So maybe I do.  On the other hand, part of me has to use the washroom right now and that's making my thoughts on any other subject clouded and imprecise.  Alright that urge has subsided.  Didn't even have to entertain it!  Just went away on its own!  What the Hell is wrong with me.  Short answer, a lot is wrong with me, not sure where to start!  Thanks for your concern though and if you would like constant updates on what's wrong with me, leave me your address and I will keep up a correspondence!
    Fifth paragraph.  Got an all out Doctor's Appointment tomorrow!  Endocrinologist!  Hey, got an Official Weigh In coming up!  Hey, the last year or two I stopped caring so much about my weight!  I reached a healthy relationship with Food And The Scale!  BUT AT WHAT COST.  Not sure there was a cost.  Surely I expended some sort of Personal Capital to win this Psychic Battle.  Hmm.  There's a trade-off to everything.  Got my Harris/Walz shirt.  There's no Slash in the t-shirt.  I think it got the job done!  Wait a minute.  Slash.  Guns n Roses.  Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.  Slash.  Like with a knife.  Wonder what's going on there exactly.  Possibly merits more attention.  If there was a band called The Knifes it'd make me laugh.  The Knives wouldn't be as funny, no.  The Knifes is!  Probably not in real life though.  But my first instinct is to be amused by myself.  VERY EASY for me to be amused by myself.  Some people are their own toughest critic.  I am my own easiest mark!  Who are you people.
    Halfway through the entry!  AW MAN, not only do I have to write 5 more paragraphs now, but I'll have to write even more paragraphs in life Afterwards!  WONDERFUL.  LIFE MOVES ON.  I've been smoking marijuana with today's entry again!  Probably pretty obvious.  Just one of those days!  Totally!  Feels like I don't know what to write about anymore.  I know the quantity of what I have to write!  Seems pretty daunting.  Stopping me from even starting to write.  How does anyone ever write anything.  Whatever.  Is Slash an onomatopoeia.  My guess?  Yes.  Poltergeist II is scaring me right now.  I haven't watched it since Friday or Saturday night but I get the gist of it right now and I don't like it!  Actually what I'm getting the gist of Right Now is A Totally Different movie in Poltergeist II SKIN.  But either way it's spooking me out!  Maybe I should watch Poltergeist III to soothe my nerves.  I know a good idea when I hear one.  What about this website.  Terrible Idea.  Who the Hell came up with this shit.  I hope Bad Stuff Happens To Them and their lives SUCK.
    Seventh Paragraph!  FOUR MORE PARAGRAPHS.  Just try and stop me!  Anyway if I start smoking with each entry then I'm gonna be going through my marijuana a lot quicker.  BUT then I'll presumably have no need to be buying beer.  So I could sell that to my parents!  Buying more weed but not buying beer.  It works out I guess!  Probably UNHEALTHY to be smoking with each entry!  I CAN FEEL my ability to construct multi-paragraph narratives starting to rot.  That's not good!  But I have to make Tough Executive Decisions like this all the time! THIS MIGHT BE THE RIGHT MOVE FOR NOW.  Also maybe I rebuild a NEW WAY of forming multi-paragraph narratives WITH weed.  I WILL COME BACK MENTALLY STRONGER THAN EVER after a few entries of marijuana. Oh Okay That Actually Makes Sense.  OK.   THE AYES HAVE IT.  FOR NOW.  Wonderful.  Moving ON!  Why do I share my Private Mental Health Life with Strangers.  I DON'T KNOW.  WHY DO STRANGERS READ IT.  KINDA ON YOU WHEN YOU THUNK ABOUT IT.  Not sure why the conundrum is being thrust upon me!  REALLY YOUR FAULT NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.
   50/50 I Guess!  A Full 1!  Whatever!  No one's to blame for Life's Absurdities!  Or maybe we're all equally at fault!  I forget!  Anyway.  Not a fan of today's entry.  I appreciate that I'm Tripping Lightly and GOOD FOR ME but WHAT DOES TAHT ACCOMPLISH FOR ANYONE ELSE.  Hmm.  I don't know anyone else!  Other people are a big mystery to me!  "Another Person?"  You're gonna have to explain yourself on that one!  Also?  "Yourself?"  You're gonna have to explain yourself on that one, too!  I don't know who You are, either!  Surely there are other people out there.  But WHAT OF THEM.  Huh.  I don't know!  YOU.  WHAT OF YOU.  THE PERSON WHO YOU ARE EXACTLY.  YOU GOD DAMN READER YOU.  Anyway.  I GIVE SO MUCH AND ASK SO LITTLE.  Your Undivided Attention.  The main thing I ask from you!  WHICH IS A LOT.  I get it!  It's not nothing!  I've never asked for more attention than you offered, though!  Not consciously at least!  Hmm.  Anyway what was I talking about.  I'll take whatever you can give!  Attention, spare change, PITY!  Any little bit you wanna offer!  I'll take what I can get!
   Penultimate paragraph.  Wonderful!  Gotta get up early tomorrow for the Endocrine Appointment.  That's WORK.  Shouldn't be too difficult.  I guess not.  But it's the principle of the thing!  I shouldn't have to have any hardships!  Should be smooth sailing 100 percentwise in life!  Hmm.  Life is just Doing Stuff I guess!  Some of the stuff is WORK stuff and some of the stuff is PERSONAL PLEASURE stuff.  Oh this thing I Have To For For Responsibility Reasons OR Oh this thing I get to do For No Specific Reason At All.  Wow!  Both!  So that's good.  NO ONE CARES.  Sucks to be them!  Sucks to be Everyone!  Is there a group of people out there, some subset of demographics, that IS LOVIN LIFE right now?  Are there people who are just HAPPY?  I think they exist!  I don't know WHO THEY ARE.  But THEY'RE SOMEWHERE.  Weird.  How can I be like them.  Learn their attributes and Mimic Them.  That doesn't sound right.  Not mimicking them well enough then.  MIMICRY WILL NEVER ACHIEVE PERFECT REPLICATION.  Not with that attitude it won't.
    Last paragraph.  Great.  I guess there's always tomorrow!  It will be DIFFERENT from today!  Probably will be Not Great but at least it won't be The Same Thing As Today!  MAYBE IT WILL BE.  To me it'll be a Relatively Unique Nonsensical Experience!  MAYBE to you it's all the same nonsense.  In which case I envy you.  Sounds like you live your life strongly rooted in SENSE.  Wow.  That sounds nice.  What's it like.  Sensical, probably.  Anyway.  Monday.  Won't be the weekend until Thursday night.  That's... one, two... THREE, wait, no, wait, yep, THREE DAYS FROM NOW.  Then I'll be able to Relax for a moment!  R & R.  Oh.  REST.  Rest and relaxation!  What's RESTING.  I don't even know what that word means.  I SLEEP half the time but I dunno if I ever truly REST.  I'm on edge all the time more or less.  When I'm dead I can Rest In Peace.  But I'll be Dead.  So I won't be resting.  I'll be dead.  Nothin.  OR SOMETHIN.  I Don't know what happens after death!  Not off the top of my head at least.  Guess we'll find out eventually.  Not TOGETHER.  SEPARATELY.  Anyway time for a break from the website.  I'll see ya tomorrow. 

-4:42 P.M.

Thursday, September 12, 2024

Time To Think Of A New Title

    Hi!  Just took two drags of marijuana!  I hope that helps me with the entry!  I didn't wanna do an all out smoke!  Let's see what two puffs'll get me!  Today is Thursday, that gatekeeper to the weekend.  Weekends are a blast!  Get to run around and not have any work or or health responsibilities!  No Entries or Doctors Appointments!  Sometimes I need to see Movies but that's healfway pleasurable!  Halfway it's Keeping Up With Society.  That's a fulltime job itself.  Right now I'm trying to close the Weather and Stock Ticker on my Computer Screen.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS.  A few months ago on my StartBar where all the icons are, suddenly it just started updating me on the weather, and being a stock ticker, and other crap I DON'T WANNA KNOW.  I can't figure out how to get rid of this!  TMI.  I guess I can learn to ignore it.  It's hard, though!  They certainly knew what they were doing when they designed this Splidget because my eye goes STRAIGHT TO IT every time I look at my computer screen!  Huge distraction!  I could put black masking tape up over that part of the screen.  Okay.  It'd get messed up every time I open and shut the laptop, though.  Other than that That's Good Thinking.
    Anyway.  Watched about a third of the VMAS last night.  I think it was pretty good!  It's hard to chart a Halfway Fun Way in taking in a VMA.  Either you're a preteenager enjoying it on that level.  Or You're Not!  WHY CAN'T I FIND A MIDDLE GROUND.  I want to get into it on a primal, naive level, too!  But also still keep my cool about it!  Hmm.  I GUESS IT'S POSSIBLE.  Not sure why I care to!  Why does me getting the most out of The VMAS matter.  Because that's what was on The TV yesterday.  Also, gotta prepare for it being on the TV in 364 days again!  Get a Head Start and everything.  Also maybe one day I'll be forced to play at the VMAs and I need to know What I'm Dealing With Exactly.  What is the Reality behind the VMA's?  Reality, huh?  Not sure I like the sound of that.  What's going on again?  Lost track!  Either way, I feel like I'm gonna enjoy being done with this entry.  And how does that make me feel.  That Was A Feeling.  Having a feeling doesn't make me feel another feeling.  Where did I learn Therapy.  MOBILE ALABAMA.  Oh that's a good school.
    Anyway.  Eight paragraphs to go!  What should I write about.  I talk about My Life a lot.  But there's nothing left!  I've covered everything!  Good incentive for Anyone Out There Who Can Improve My Life.  Come on over, improve my life, and then I can talk about my improved life As More And Better Material!  How can you improve my life.  I'd like to live alone.  That's number one!  Don't wanna live with my parents anymore!  Would like to be able to support myself enuogh to have my own place!  HOW ELSE  can you improve my life?  WELL if I have my own place, stands to reason I'd also be able to support myself financially otherwise!  Be able to pay for WHATEVER.  Whether it's a Starbucks or a New Phone!  So basically YOU WANNA SEE MORE NEW MATERIAL?  Set me up with a JOB.  Makes sense!  Might even make sense if the job I'm getting paid for is The New Material I'm Putting Out There!  Cosmically that would seem to align!  I don't know WHAT I SHOULD DO.  Writing.  Music.  Performing.  I CAN DO IT ALL!  I'm a capable guy!  I WATCHED A THIRD OF THE AWARDS SHOW. 
   Alright.  Whose to say WHO is Good Enough At Anything To Be Passable At Being A Decent Hobbyist.  Anyway.  Seven paragraphs to go!  Not sure I like this new movie The Wild Robot.  Just seems like propaganda for AI.  This Wild Robot gonna take care of some sort of furry animal or something per The Trailer.  Just trying to make us like computers!  PASS.  Then again maybe I HAVE to like this movie because Computers Are The Future.  In which case PASS.  In the sense that they've Passed the Test.  Fine.  Main thing I don't like about Computers taking over is WHERE IS THE LOVE.  I don't like it.  One day they might be able to program robots to feel love.  Certainly IF I can feel love they can get a computer to feel love!  What does that mean.  Sounds like some sort of DIG at myself.  Why would I insult my capacity for feeling?  What's going on there?  Probably some sort of buried trauma that took place in Mobile Alabama.   
   Okay.  Fifth paragraph!  Yes!  I guess I gotta write a six more paragraphs now!  The Who wrote a song Going Mobile.  I can't tell you how it goes because where would I even begin.  Writing in paragraph format.  I dunno!  ALSO I forget how it goes!  I can tell you The Title!  It's a good one!  Hmm.  La-la-la-la-la Goin' MOBILE.  I assume that's part of the lyrics.  But syllables of words instead of, "La's."  So that's how that goes.  Almost halfway through the entry.  My high might be starting to wear off.  It's admirable that it lasted this long!  I guess after this paragraph I might take another two hits.  So that's good.  The Who says they Won't Get Fooled Again but I bet they will.  Something about that song makes me SURE they're gonna get fooled again.  In fact they might be in the process of Getting Fooled WHILE the song is going on!  I WORRY for them, that's all!  Worry for who.  YES.  Why would anyone EVER pay me to write anything.  I was being ironic.  I'm a good writer because I was ironically writing WORSE than ANYONE ON EARTH WOULD EVER WRITE EVER.  It's what a CLEVER up and comer writer might do!
   Halfway through the entry!  I guess I can do this now.  I just took two more hits of marijuana smoke!  Guess I'll have Old Super Market Meal for dinner tonight.  From like two weeks ago.  It'll be okay to eat healthwise.  But it's flavor may be corrupted.  It'll taste crappy!  BUT IT MUST BE TAKEN CARE OF.  Maybe I can't be a professional creative person!  I have some latent skills within me, but IS IT ENOUGH?  Of course it is.  Lots of people with presumably less talent than my currently indeterminable amount of talent get professional creative jobs!  I supposedly have more talent than some of these people!  Why Not!  Oh okay sounds fair.  I don't think of people that way.  Talent or no talent.  I think it's talented enough for people to be ALIVE.  "WHAT THE HELL?  YOU EXIST?  GOOD JOB ON THAT.  I'm having a hard time Myself With Being Myself.  I can only imagine the difficulties you face!"  So that's good.  Anyway.  I don't put things in quotation marks very often!  Kind of a big occasion for me!  I think it was the right decision.  I read it and I can make sense of the words I think!  More or less.  I don't get them Perfectly but I don't get them The Wrong Way either.  I get them A wrong way.  Not THE wrong way.
   Jeez.  So much terribleness.  When do I get to some quality crap.  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS QUALITY CRAP.  Either something is QUALITY or it is CRAP.  Quality Crap is an Urban Myth made up by Idiots who don't understand The Way The World Really Works.  The World really works by nonstop spontaneous combustion.  Geothermally, I mean.  What does that have to do with Quality Crap!  Exactly NOTHING.  I guess I got my mind set on The End Of This Entry.  Looking forward to the Recreation and Joy of the Weekend.  Gotta look forward to Something.  That MAKES SENSE.  What makes sense?  I lost track.  Nevermind.  My bad.  Nothing makes sense.   Anyway.  Three and a half more paragraphs to go!  Well, that's good, I guess.  I still have it in me to write Unique Sentences.  Let's see what I come up with!  Darth Vader's Voice is dead.  It just hit me.  I don't see how we'll ever come back from this.  We'll never get His Authentic Voice To Say New Things.  We probably would never have got that anyway.  I don't think James Earl Jones would have done it!  But now it's for sure.
    Eighth paragraph!  Not sure I like today's date.  9/12.  It's almost like it's taunting us To Forget 9/11!  Of all the days in the year, it's the one making it the most clear that It's Not 9/11.  SHUT UP.  I WANNA REMEMBER 9/11.  LET ME REMEMBER THE DAYS I WANNA REMEMBER.  Okay.  What other days would I like to remember.  I FORGET.  That's why I wanna remember them so much!  AW SHUCKS.  Anyway.  I'm Turning Old this year.  On my birthday.  When my age changes.  Going from 35 to 36.  What kind of person should I be at age 36.  I think I learnt from some rookie age 35 mistakes this year.  First things first, Just DON'T.  Easy!  That's First Things First.  That's all I got for now.  Also Can I Sometimes?  Only Fair I guess.  Whatever.  Hey birthday is a clean three months from today.  Get your cards in the mail soon cause I don't trust the post office!  Friends Happy Birthday Friends.  That's Society's Golden Rule!  It's what makes the world go round After Constant Spontaneous Combustion.  I don't know any of your birthdays.  I've been breaking the golden rule?  NO WONDER SOCIETY IS IN TROUBLE.  This is all my fault.
    Penultimate paragraph!  Should I continue utilizing small amounts of marijuana for entries moving forward?  WELL it worked okay today!  Wasn't great!  Wasn't horrible!  We'll have take a wait and see attitude moving forward!  That's how I feel!  Anyway the good news is that we're creeping towards the end of the entry!  Creeping is not my favorite word!  Find it kind of Creepy.  Just don't like SAYING it.  Now it's on the website!  Get it off!  I can't delete it then you wouldn't know what I was referring to when I was saying to get rid of it!  I guess I'll just have to move on with the entry as if none of this ever happened!  They say that Thom Yorke made bad distorted guitarwork for the song Creep because he didn't like it and wanted to sabotage it.  But has he considered just setting it on fire and making sure nobody ever listened to it that way?  Or possibly cutting up all the reels of it with scissors and throwing it up like confetti.  What if he just molded it all into a football and threw it out of airplane and then it explodes midair.  Because it was also filled with explosives? 
    Last paragraph!  Awesome!  My entire life has led me to this paragraph!  Oh I was planning on Not Doing Much with it.  WRONG.  Also I RESCIND that lifelong statement.  This paragraph might be important, but it's not The End All Be All.  That comes when I'm SIXTY SEVEN.  That's good I guess.  I wonder what that paragraph will be about.  Probably PERSONAL stuff.  None of your business, really!  So personal it probably isn't even any of my business!  Well is it PERSONAL TO ME or is it MY BUSINESS.  Gotta pick one!  And they're antonyms!   Whatever.  Dumb website.  Sometimes I start reading the website in different voices.  Sucky way to do it!  Can't there just be one consistent voice that comes out of me!  And it's ME.  Okay that makes sense we'll keep that in mind.  Anyway.  Great.  I guess that I got that dumb supper tonight.  That's what Judas said.  HE HAD TO GO or else Jesus would know something was up!  But it's also what I'm saying.  In reference to the thing I have to eat.  That is two weeks old.  And will taste gross.  But will be healthy.  So that's good!  If I don't eat it who will.  I'll see ya next week!

-4:59 P.M.     
   

   

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

Hey, I Know You!

    Oh, okay.  Hey, friends!  Time for Part II of The Week.  Wednesday/Thursday!  GOOD.  Harris cleaned Trump's clock yesterday AND THEN KEPT IT FOR HERSELF.  She was a competent smart extraordinary normal person!  He was a crazy stupid deranged fascist person!  THERE YA GO.  JUST AS Who They Clearly Already Were Foretold!  DID Kamala rise to the occasion or was she already always At That Level?  That's for the courts to decide!  Probably always could do it!  But if she can maintain that level of Quality Job Performance WE'LL BE ALRIGHT.  So that's great.  The MTV Music Video Awards are tonight!  I like watching what the young people are up to music videowise.  Especially after reading all these memoirs of Musicians.  I'm rooting for I Assume Pearl Jam to win.  Per my Nirvana book they're perennial contenders.  POSSIBLE Sonic Youth might give them a run for their money.  I don't know if I know ONE Pearl Jam song.  Should have come up with a better band name!  Gotta place blame somewhere!  Titles are the first place to point fingers!  What is Pearl Jam.  Huh.  What do you mean.  Nevermind.  Forget it.  Not important!
    Looks like Taylor Swift is endorsing... wait, lemme get my pencil and pad out... KAMALA HARRIS?  GREAT.  So I will vote for Kamala I guess!  VERY WELL.  It's good for celebrities to endorse Kamala.  I'M not even a celebrity AND I'VE endorsed Kamala!  There should be a website where people can just sign their names endorsing candidates.  People of all levels of Fame, from 0% to 100%.  And you can just check out databases and go Hmm, turns out MY DENTIST IS VOTING FOR RFKII.  EVEN AFTER HE DROPPED OUT.  GO FIGURE.  I'm not sure what the point of the website is BUT IT'D BE AN INTERESTING ONE.  People would visit it, that's for sure!  Anyway.  Dentists are on the Fame Spectrum!  LOTS of people know them!  So many patients.  VERY respected members of the community.  So that's good.  I dunno.  I wouldn't trust A Dentist with guiding my presidential vote.  FOR SOME REASON I'd trust ANY OTHER DOCTOR over a dentist.  Can't say why!  Somethin' about working with teeth just makes them seem like perverts or something! 
    Huh.  That's life I guess!  I wanna see the new Kevin Smith movie about teenagers who go to the movies BUT it doesn't seem to be playing in either of the two Theaters easily accessible to me!  AH well.  Maybe if I complain about it someone will add A SHOWING OF IT to one of those theaters.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease!  I've never seen Grease.  Why would I want to!  It's about Kids who Dance or something, right?  70's Kids?  They just walk around and dance and sing Discowise, right?  What in the world would make me want to watch that?  THAT REMINDS ME of a similar story of Why Would Anyone Want TO Read This.  It's just about some '20's Kid Who Sits Around And Writes Dumbwise.  But you're already committed to See What Happens.  REALLY INVESTED.  I can see how you might wanna see PLOTWISE how it all turns out!  JUST LIKE GREASE.  This website IS Grease!  I assume.  Again.  I've never seen the film.  I know it takes place on The Sidewalk a lot.  When I picture the movie it's kids Dancewalking On The Sidewalk.  I might be confusing it with Saturday Night's Fever.  WAS THAT REALLY A WORTHWHILE PARAGRAPH.  No.  Of Course Not.  I ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING.  Probably should draft articles of impeachment against me.
   Really more of a Cry For Help than anything else.  I'm Looking For A Way Out!  SUICIDE BY READER FORCING ME OUT.  Hmm.  That's one way to go about things.  Not sure I want all out SUICIDE.  I'd like to continue LIVING.  I just don't wanna do THIS WEBSITE exactly!  Anyway.  Using too many CAPS lately.  The last few days.  I gotta keep that in mind going forward.  You can't use Too Few Caps but you can definitely use Too Many Caps.  Hmm.  HEY I just realized, we may not get to see another Harris/Trump debeat but WE WILL get to see Walz/Vance!  Walz gonna Whipe the floor with Vance, too, probably!  When's that.  I wanna say October 100th.  Nope October 1st.  Wow!  Here's a good line for Walz-- His name is VANCE, but he can't Con-VANCE me OF ANYTHING!  Feel free to use that one at no cost!  First taste is on the house!  Any other puns, I'm on retainer!  I don't know what that means.  I assume it's an Orthodontistry reference.  EXCUSE ME but this paragraph is no better than the last one!  I didn't spend the whole time talking about I DON'T KNOW WHAT GREASE IS ABOUT but STILL nothing happened!  Ah well.  Better luck next time.
   Okay!  SNL announced their new cast members for upcoming season.  Looks like I didn't make the cut! Makes sense.  As far as I know I Wasn't In The Running! STILL STINGS A BIT.  I don't wanna be an actor.  I also Cannot be an actor.  I also SHOULD NOT be an actor!  Still though nobody likes being Rejected!  What other shows rejected me this year.  ALL OF THEM.  LITERALLY EVERY SHOW AND MOVIE.  They all specifically decided not to include me!  Ugh.  HMM.  I don't want to have a real job.  But If I were AN ACTOR... I'd be PRETENDING TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE... and maybe THAT PERSON Is Okay With Having A Real Job... HMM...  Whatevers.  If I were on SNL what celebs could I play.  Gotta be A COUPLE people I'm the right body type or face type for.  Lemme look in teh mirror to see what I look like.  You'd think I'd know what I look like at this point in my life.  Nope!  Hmm.  If Kevin Hart Was White And Also Looked Completely Different And Also I Knew How To Do Kevin Hart Voice and Mannerisms.  That sounds good.  I'm laughing already!  THAT'S GOING IN TE REEL when I apply to SNL next semester!
    Is it wrong to do black people in whiteface.  I'm not sure that's a thing!  Not YET it isn't!  Woody Allen.  It's not the most culturally relevant in 2024 but he's pretty short!  I'D DO WOODY ALLEN.  Seth Green.  Look the point is there's celebs on the shorter side that I could do.  IF that's what I wanted my life to be!  WHICH I DON'T.  WHICH NOBODY WANTS.  There's no Supply Or Demand for Me To Do Impressions Of People other than my own true self. Gotta try to Impersonate Myself AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.  Anyway.  One day I'd like to Just Be Myself.  I think for now I'm stuck Attempting Impersonating Myself.  Hmm.  I want to just Be Myself.  HOW can you just BE YOURSELF.  WHAT EVEN IS A PERSON LET ALONE YOURSELVE.  I don't have time to explain things to myself right now-- I'M WRITING A WEBLOG ENTRY.  Oh okay I can see I'm busy I'll come back later.  That's great, just great.  REALLY THOUGH HOW DO YOU DEFINE A PERSON.  Limbs.  Head.  Torso.  NO THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT.  I dunno, then!  You asked me my opinion and I gave it to you!  If you don't like what I have to say then THERE'S THE DOOR.  Where.  Plenty of ways to stop reading!  Just LEAVE.
   FOR THE BEST.  Good riddance to bad rubbish.  FOR SURE.  Anyway when was the last good entry.  August?  Waht's it now?  September?  When's the next month?  October?  What's the year?  2020's?  Where are we?  The Solar System?  OK.  When I was a kid we didn't know what 9/11 was.  I'm tired of this joke.  I'm gonna discontinue it before I even follow it through to completion.  A good gambler knows to quit when he's on top!  That's not relevant in this situation.  I am neither a good gambler nor am I on top!  STILL THOUGH.  WHEN I WAS A KID closest thing we had to 9/11 was Pearl Harbor.  AND NO ONE gave a fuck about Pearl Harbor!  Maybe Pearl Jam!  Maybe THAT'S what Pearl Jam is a reference to!  They jam every performance to raise money for the survivors of Pearl Harbor.  I have the film Pearl Harbor on DVD.  BEN AFFLECK is in it.  It was a huge big budget feature film!  I wanna say the operating budget was FOUR HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS.  Must have been pretty good!  Woulda been better if they just gave Every American a dollar twenty five.  PEOPLE WOULDA GONE CRAZY FOR THAT MOVIE. 
    WHAT?  A movie studio just GAVE EACH OF US some pocket change?  HOW GENEROUS!  How is that A Movie.  Well it's not a movie persay.  But it's still A COOL THING TO DO.  UGH.  What crap!  NOT ME.  I'm just impersonating me.  Can't Blame The Real Me WHEREVER, WHOEVER HE IS.  Anyway three paragraphs to go.  Guess I got one more entry left in the week!  THEN I GOT A WEEKEND.  I don't DESERVE A WEEKEND.  I wrote SHIT this week.  What can I do to improve.  Hmm.  Maybe there's a book I can read that will make me write better.  I'll look into that.  IN THE MEANTIME though this weekend I start reading about This Jimi Hendrix Person.  He had a Black Job!  Guitar player!  But when he did it, it was a black job!  Topical.  I liked the part of the debate where Trump said that of the many (inflated) millions of illegal immigrants in the country, they don't even know what country they're in.  I forget what the implication was.  They're stupid, or insane, or on drugs, or what?  Or maybe he was just malfunctioning while he was talking.  But while he was fear mongering that there was an absurdly high amount of illegal immigrants, he said LOTS OF THEM DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT COUNTRY THEY'RE IN.  Anyway.
   Penultimate paragraph!  HOW WOULD A PERSON NOT KNOW WHAT COUNTRY THEY'RE LIVING IN.  I guess for Offensive Reasons!  Anyway.  Almost done with the entry today!  Man.  I just realized... you had to read this.  It wasn't THAT bad.  I mean, it wasn't GREAT.  I didn't do anything that was GOOD.  But it was OKAY?  In TODAY'S WORLD Okay Is Good Enough!  UNFORTUNATELY.  Standards are really low in today's world now that I think about it!  That sucks but I guess it works to my benefit in this case!  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Maybe that's why the world sucks so much!  Everyone wants to Do Mediocre With Their Own Selves And Have It Be Enough!  SO THAT'S ALL ANYONE EVER GIVES OR GETS.  WE CAN DO BETTER.  Ok.  Only one mediocre right now IS ME.  Can't blame anyone else.  Lots of things are good in the world right now.  Kamala knocking her presidential campaign out of the park for example!  Beetle Juice Beetle Juice was good!  I like lots of stuff.  I AM THE THING I DON'T LIKE AT THE MOMENT.  Hmm.  Better figure out how to do better.  I know.  SWITCH THINGS UP.  DO STUFF DIFFERENTLY.  Not sure WHAT.  But mix SOMETHING UP.  That's a start I guess.
   Last paragraph.  WE ARE THE CHANGE WE'RE LOOKING FOR.  WE ARE ALSO THE PROBLEMS WE'RE LOOKING TO CHANGE FROM.  Great!  I just gotta have different things On My Mind!  If I had stuff to think about, I'd write about the stuff I was thinking about!  Hmm sounds good.  WHAT SHOULD I THINK ABOUT WITH TOMORROW'S ENTRY.  Philosophies.  Sciences.  History, maybe.  All the stuff any Thinking Man is gonna wanna go over!  Should get started thinking about them TONIGHT so it's already percolating!  What philosophy.  Maybe some Kierkegaard, that's always fresh.  I know of a couple of titles to the books he's written, so I'm covered there.  Sciences.  Not a huge fan of science.  It stays out of my business, I stay out of its business!  History.  More like Herstory.  That's how I feel!  Let's make HERSTORY in November by electing Kamala Harris, that's how I feel!  Ugh.  Where am I.  Is it the end of the entry?  WOW, ALMOST!  Maybe I'm NOT MEANT to write this website for the rest of my life.  Maybe there's Something Else for me.  Like what.  I dunno.  SOMETHING.  Either way I'll be back tomorrow and it'll be better than today, at a minimum!  See ya soon!

-4:30 P.M.       
    
      

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

What Did I Do This Time

    Hi!  Sounds like Tuesday!  Great!  They pushed back my Writing For Late Night Class two weeks!  OH NO.  Now it goes PAST THE ELECTION.  Not sure I'ma be motivated to Take Classes During The Apocalypse.  If The Candidate I Don't Support Wins What's The Point OF ANYTHING.  Hmm.  I dunno!  Meet a lady!  Have some babies!  FAMILY.  Get to work.  Put in the work!  CAREER.  Read books.  Get involved in the arts.  CULTURE.  I can't do any of those things.  I'M NOT MENTALLY CAPABLE.  I'm a Disability Person!  So I got that going for me!  I dunno.  I'll be OKAY.  Somehow Magically It'll Work Out.  One day I'll go from Hopeless to Having It Made overnight.  I don't know how but I feel very strongly about this!  But if The Candidate I Don't Support Wins TEH WORLD will be fucked is the point.  Pretty straightforward.  Hmm.  Got two months to do whatever I can to support Kamala.  I got an e-mail yesterday saying THEY SHIPPED MY SHIRT.  ALRIGHT.  STEP ONE IS IN MOTION.  The t-shirt is on the way!  Hmm.  The Big Debate is tonight!  They've been looking forward to it for weeks!  I hope everyone sees Kamala demolish because She is the only one of the two of them qualified to be president.  She is qualified to be president 9 out of 10.  Trump is qualified to be president 0 out of 10!  Those numbers ARE CLEAN.  I haven't doctored them AT ALL! 
   Anyway.  This isn't remotely close!  Also, I should keep my remote close in case I wanna adjust the volume!  Might get too quiet OR TOO LOUD.  Looks like they're spreading rumours that Haitian immigrants are eating cats.  QUIT HAITIN.  HATING HAITIANS. Also it's the clearest case of projection I've ever seen!  Anyone talking about eating cats OBVIOUSLY THEY THEMSELVES have been thinking about eating cats before!  YOU'RE JUST TELLING ON YOURSELVES by spreading these lies!  YOU LOOK FOOLISH.  Hmm.  What's FUN about this meme.  HEY.  There's a group of people who aren't me.  ISN'T IT FUNNY TO MAKE UP OUTLANDISH LIES TO DEMONIZE THEM?  What did Haitians ever do to you?  They musta done SOMETHIN.  OUT WITH IT.  Fuck your sister?  Steal your girlfriend?  Eat your cat?  C'MON I WANNA HEAR IT.  Hmm.  Whatever!  It's a distraction!  I don't give fucks!  Well easy for me to say, I'm not Haitian.  Or feline.  Probably not, at least!  I assume the odds are I wouldn't give a fuck if I were them either!  HMM.  Eat The Cat means oral sex on female.   Eating pussy.  No one is acknowledging this very simple fact!  Republican are trying to DEMONIZE THIS ACT through second hand euphemisms?  WHAT ARE THEY REALLY AFTER?   
    Third paragraph.  If I see a film in the Theatres this weekend I guess it's Speak No Evil.  That's interesting!  Maybe you'd like to join me!  It'll be a real Speak No Evil weekend.  We're still allowed to Speak about other things, right?  Just Not Evil?  SOUNDS FAIR.  Are we allowed to Sign Evil?  Write Evil?  Sounds like a gray area.  Maybe the title of the movie I see The Week After will help clarify.  It's not a perfect system but it's the best one we have!  Anyway, James Earl Jones died.  I guess he's in his own Field Of Dreams now!  I guess he's in his own Star Wars now!  That's how that goes.  When someone with The Force dies, they never really are gone!  They're still with us as part of The Force.  What if we aren't one with the Force.  Oh.  Then YOU'RE MISSING OUT.  But for Those Of Us WITH The Force, it's a party!  Hmm.  I HAVE THE FORCE?  Yeah!  Barely!  A little bit!  Just got a little bit on me that I can't get it off!  I've tried to wash it off but it's like Venom!  Just can't get rid of it!  Maybe I should make better use of it.  Oh.  So now I KNOW BETTER THAN ME, do I?  Hmm.  I'll think about what I should do with My Force in my free time.  During recess.  Right now I got an entry to write!
   OK.  I just happened to be up to one of The Simpsons episodes with James Earl Jokes last night!  What serendipity.  Also Serendipity is such a pretty word but such a horrifying concept.  OH NO.  THE UNIVERSE IS COLLIDING GET OUT OF THE WAY.  Very Scary Stuff.  Why is it happening.  That's my official position.  COLLIDING or COLLUDING??  Oh No!  Hmm.  What if Luke Skywalker just shrugged his shoulders and didn't do anything about fighting Darth Vader.  THEN MAYBE JAMES EARL JONES would be alive today.  I may be making some continuity errors there.  Anyway.  They should make some NEW Star Wars movies but that are ORIGINAL and NOT IN TEH STAR WARS UNIVERSE.  Just totally original ideas that are in their own unique worlds!  Don't even need to be Science Fiction!  WHAT'S STOPPING THEM.  That's great, just great.  I know Kamala gonna knock it out of the park tonight but HOW is she gonna knock it out of the park.  WHAT KINDA WAY is she gonna present herself to the voters.  I'm ready to endorse her performance but I dunno yet what performance I'm gonna be endorsing!  Lots of different positive flavors she can give.  Hmm.  Should be fun to watch WHO IS THIS KAMALA HARRIS DEBATEWISE.
   Fifth paragraph!  I don't think enough people are appreciating that DARTH VADER IS FINALLY DEAD.  We can all go about our lives a little bit more freely now!  Whew.  Darth Vader was GOOD the last I saw him.  Threw the evil emperor down a well or something.  A Hall.  I dunno what you call it.  He threw him down a big hole.  Great!  If they ever get George W Bush to be the lead singer of Courtney Love's band Hole I assume they'd rename the band Whole.  But the odds of that happening are basically zero.  ANYWAY I watched the Sopranos finale scene with Smells Like Teen Spirit in the foreground and it wasn't that great!  Maybe if I synced it up better by a second it would have made all the difference.  BUT PROBABLY NOT.  Maybe if I had the music and TV coming from the same speakers it might have helped.  Probably just wasn't that great pick of a song!  The GAME PREMISE is still solid, though.  Pick random songs to play over the Final Scene In the Diner.  See how it plays out!  I'M CONTRIBUTING TO SOCIETY.  You have to listen to Don't Stop Believing AS WELL, though.  You gotta listen to The DIALOGUE and SOUND EFFECTS.  Ya can't MUTE the TV.  So you're gonna have to keep The Journey as well.  So you're gonna have to double up on Song.  IT'S AN IMPERFECT GAME.
   Halfway through the entry!  I guess!  DEBATE TONIGHT.  How can I debate tonight.  Should I take sides with The Morning and Afternoon?  I'm not SURE whose side I'm on!  Hmm.  WHY are we treating Trump like a normal candidate.  How many times do we have to wonder this!  Unlimited.  Until it's over!  IT NEVER ENDS.  It might one day!  Hmm.  Maybe it ends TONIGHT.  I guess we'll have to wait and see!  THUS FAR too often do they tend to treat Trump, the fascist psychopath, with kid gloves.  And Harris, the competent one with bipartisan support, with skepticism.  Will tonight's moderating be MORE OF THE SAME?  We'll see!  It'll be on the spectrum!  It'll be somewhat disappointing and somewhat not the most horrible it could be!  Will it register as HEY IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE! or as HEY... it could have been worse... I guess... I dunno!  Maybe it MIGHT register as THIS WAS THE WORST or THIS WAS GREAT.  Who knows!  I can't narrow down what the future might be.  I don't even know what THE PRESENT is.  I know I'm sitting at my computer writing SOMETHING.  Can't really say WHAT.
   Seventh paragraph!  Four more paragraphs to go.  Probably gonna get Oh I Don't Know a VEAL CUTLET HERO for tonight.  Parents want Italian Restaurant.  I think that's the way to go.  Sans cheese and tomato sauce!  Just plain fried veal cutlet!  Could be good!  That's my premise going in!  OH NO scandalous details from Dave Grohl's life!  He had a baby OUT OF WEDLOCK.  He's LOCKED IN WED to someone.  He had a baby OUTSIDE OF THAT CUSTOM.  Anyway.  I'll always cherish my memories from When I Read His Book.  Made me feel good.  The way he related not just to music but to people.  Was just really inspiring on both ends.  This doesn't disappoint me or anything.  Obviously it's a Social Negative Thing To Do but who cares.  Doesn't effect ME.  I just wish him the best moving forward no different than I did yesterday!  I WISH ALL CELEBRITIES WITH BAD NEWS Best Of Luck.  But particularly the ones who made me feel good about myself.  They get BONUS luck.  I'm sure they appreciate it.  And if they don't want my Good Luck Offering, I rescind my offer!  Take it back!  Save it for someone who wants it.  That's how that goes.
   Three paragraphs to go.  Amazing!  What's Dave Grohl's New Daughter's name.  If it's not an Official Daughter, does that mean she doesn't get An Interesting Celebrity Name?  Hmm.  Also was she just born or is this story backdated and she's actually 25?  WHO KNOWS.  No way to find out!  I can't do more research on this story!  I'm busy!  Anyway.  Tomorrow is 9/11.  Or as I like to call it .818181818...  You use fractions, I use decimals!  Different people see the world different ways!  Some people don't see the world at all!  They're called Blinds!  They use other senses to feel the world!  I feel like I would adjust to being blind pretty quickly.  If I lost my sight when I was younger I'd take it pretty personally.  And be really upset.  But these days?  MEH.  What do I really need to see that much!  I GET IT.  I'd miss The Womanly Body, I guess.  Still get to feel it if I ever find a mate. Get to SCRATCH AND SNIFF.  Huh.  They say that Justice Is Blind.  I think they're WAY OFF.  I think JUSTICE CAN SEE EXTREMELY WELL.  That way it can tell if you're being JUST OR NOT!  Justice BETTER have Great Eye Sight.  That's the whole premise of making sure Everyone In Society Is Being Just!  If Justice Is Blind then EVERYONE GONNA GO AROUND BEING UNJUST RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN AND NO ONE GONNA DO A DAMN THING.
   Penultimate paragraph.  Justice Is Blind means that Justice Applies to All Shapes And Sizes uniformly.  It doesn't care WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.  Justice Gonna Apply To ALL OF US The Same!  Oh.  I Guess!  Let's See If That Holds True!  CAUSE I DON'T KNOW.  Anyway.  Justice applies to Just Us.  How about THAT as a BITING REMARK.  I'm not sure what it means but HOLY COW.  Anyway.  If Justice Is Blind it means that it's other senses are heightened.  So Justice can HEAR Really Well!  Whatever.  Why do blind people wear sunglasses.  Do they really care SO MUCH that They Look Cool?  Of all subsets of people to be concerned That They Look Hip! C'mon!  Anyway.  Sunglasses are what Awesome People Wear.  And it's what blind people wear.  Blind people I guess are compensating for being blind by trying to seem like they're Cool!  I feel like I made that joke before.  Of all the jokes I could repeat!  I HAD to repeat THAT ONE.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Then again what can ya do.  This is the world that we live in!  Anyway.  Dave Grohl must have had sex in order to have that daughter.  I feel like that must have been really great for him!  I got nothin.
    Last paragraph!  He probably likes having the daughter, too!  He likes having family type friends!  Real People Person this guy!  Whatever.  ARE Foo Fighters playing the debate?  I haven't seen any confirmation one way or the other.  Is that a joke.  No.  But it's also not NOT A JOKE.  Not sure WHAT you would call it.  IS THERE A WORD FOR WHAT IT IS.  Not sure.  We may have to invent a word for What That Is.  Or just Ignore It!  ANYWAY.  Moving on!  Got another shot at writing a good entry tomorrow.  I DID NOT succeed today.  But I at least get another chance!  That's a relief!  More opportunities to fail!  Amazing!  I don't even know Who I'm Writing To.  That' part of my problem.  If I had a better sense of my Audience then I'd know What To Write.  I mean, yea, my audience Is ME.  But WHAT ME.  WHO ME.  WHAT'S THE ME BEHIND THE ME.  Gotta think DEEPER than that!  Cause in reality the audience is YOU and I want to DO YOU RIGHT.  It's true!  Hmm.  In the meantime though I guess I'll wrap this crap up.  See ya tomorrow!   

-4:28 P.M.

Monday, September 9, 2024

We Have The Entire Entry In Front Of Us

    Hey, friends!  Gotta do this now... Just had some White Castle.  It was not Fresh!  It was the second half of what I ordered from last night!  You're Welcome!  I guess it's not a clean Halve.  Still got some fries and a chicken ring left over.  Great!  I had a fun weekend!  I accomplished so much that I never will get to experience again!  BeetlejuiceBeetlejuice.  Finished Kurt Cobain Book.  Watched Sopranos documentary.  WROTE some phrases.  READ generic news personalities social media.  Now that I think about it It Kind Of Sucked.  Kurt Cobain's life kinda sucked almost the entire time!  The book didn't really do a good job conveying that He LIKED Music Or ANYTHING.  Kind of a BUMMER all the way through!  Now I gotta read another book BY THE SAME GUY next?  On Jimi Hendrix?  Maybe Jimi Hendrix specifically had a lust for life!   I dunno that sounds more like Iggy Pop.  Hmm.  Iggy Pop sounds more like the name a musician would adopt TODAY in 2024 than one they would take in the 1960's or whenever Iggy Pop is from.  I GUESS IT'S TIMELESS.  Good Name!  I don't like it.  I dislike most popular music artist names!  That's how you know it's a good name!  If I don't like it!
   It steals the first name from musician Iggy Azalea and steals the last name from A Genre And Otherwise Many Faceted Word.  PEOPLE LIKE RE-APPROPRIATING THINGS.  MIX AND MATCH.  FOUND ART.  It's Fun!  Anyway.  The nice low-end-of-mid-shelf headphones I got for my 8 track fuckin' stopped working at some point.  OR my guitar cable stopped working.  NOT SURE.  For some reason I'm being stopped from recording new music BESIDES lack of inspiration.  On the technical side I'm facing difficultities!  JUST LETTING YOU KNOW why you haven't heard any new hit singles lately from me!  Also Lack Of Distribution.  Also how can you hear multiple hit singles from someone.  Sounds like it would just be a single double or triple or quadruple.  TWO OR THREE HIT SINGLES isn't how the word, "Single," works!  You need to work on your English Skills please.  Looks like Linkin Park got themselves a new singer.  FEMALE!  They're the ones with vaginas!  INTERESTING.  VERY INTERESTING.  I like Linkin Park because sometimes you need some Dumb Music to get ya going.  What, am I above Dumb Music?  No!  I'm not!  I don't know their entire discogrophy but I DON'T HOLD HATE IN MY HART for you if you do.
    What's dumb about them.  Why am I putting them down on ANY level.  Exploitative.  They take advantage of People, often YOUNGPEPLE, Feeling Things and force them to ListenGroove To The Songs as a way of Coping With Those Feeligns.  Isn't that how all music works.  ANGER, though.  DEPRESSION.  They take advantage of NEGATIVE FEELIGNS.  Hmm.  I don't know what points I'm making.  It's called Free Association!  I ASSUMED I had points to make and then just let My Fingers Fly!  Either way Young People gonna be Angry And Depressed at some point, right?  Might as well have Linkin Park TAP INTO THAT EVENTUALLY.  I DUNNO.  I WITHDRAW FROM THIS DISCUSSION.  A winner.  Huh.  How?  Because I'm done with it!  Hmm.  Nirvana could be Angry and Depressing.  Yeah but he was Sarcastic and Ironic about it.  He had a sense of humor with it!  Felt more Inwardlooking and Authentic, too!  Whatever.  It doesn't matter.  HMM.  Just had a good idea to edit the final scene of The Sopranos with the Soprano Family in the diner but instead of Tony putting on Don't Stop Believing he puts on Smells Like Teen Spirit.  That would be a FUN SOCIAL MEDIA GAME where people edit it WITH ANY SONG UNDER THE RAINBOW.  It's HILARIOUS for thousands and thousands of songs!  But off the top of my head Smells Like Teen Spirit sounds like a funny one to watch!
    Man.  I can do that just from the confines of my own home.  Without doing committing it to Video.  Just watch the scene on my TV and play music on my phone.  And laugh myself silly.  I think I just figured out how to spend my next few months.  Anyway.  What else is up.  SOUNDS DUMB when you think about it, huh?  MAYBE I'M DUMB when you think about me, huh?  Could be!  Hmm.  Anyway.  Fourth Paragraph!  Still lots of slots open for Thursday Late Night Comedy Writing Class!  UGH IT MIGHT BE CANCELED AT THIS POINT UGH.  Anyway.  If I'm not taking a UCB Late Night Comedy Writing Class Taker WHO AM I?  I DUNNO.  I NEED STRUCTURE IN MY LIFE TO TELL ME WHO I AM.  WE ARE WHAT WE DO.  It is our actions that define us!  OR possibly what we say.  OR PERHAPS our Name and DNA COMBO.  Hmm.  HEY I got a haircut this weekend, too!  Shaved myself beforehand!  Saved a few dollars that way. The haircut is okay!  Cut real short!  Nothing fnacy!  Just Real Short Short Haircut!  I dunno if you can even CALL IT A HAIRCUT.  It's just NOT A LOT OF HAIR THERE.  That's how I would describe it!  Anyway.  WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?  GOOD NEWS TE PARAGRAPH IS OVER.
   Big split between Men and Women for whose voting for Harris and Trump.  HMM.  AS A MAN maybe I can help convince OTHER MEN to vote for Harris!  I AM UNIQUELY SITUATED to convince MY FELLOW MAN to vote for Harris!  HEY DUDES.  WE ALL GOT DICKS.  LIKE IT WHEN THEY'RE SERVICED.  I GET THAT, I DO.  ...SHE WON'T HELP YOU THERE, NO.  ...I SET THAT UP WRONG, THAT'S MY FAULT.  I'm just saying I RELATE TO YOU, I GET THAT WE THINK WITH DICKS FIRST, THAT'S PROOF I CAN RELATE.  Now that that's out of the way, Harris is a HERO and Trump is a DISASTER.  She's got all the policies and qualities you want as a Man and he's got NONE of them.  She is a competent person and DOES GOOD THINGS.  While he is a demented fascist who will do literally nothing to help you.  Also maybe YOU WILL get more sex ultimately if you're a Harris supporter!  I DON'T KNOW THE EXACT DETAILS AND PERMUTATIONS.  But in a Harris Presidency EVERYONE MIGHT JUST FEEL A BIT MORE SEXY.  That may just be the way things shake out!  So that's good!  Anyway.  WHY DIDN'T I SAVE TEH WORLD WITH THIS PARAGRAPH.  I'm not convinced I changed quite enough minds with these sentences.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.  Everyone knows Kamala gonna usher in an era of Nonstop Sex!  If you don't wanna believe me that's ON YOU.
   Halfway through the entry.  WHAT IF I'M THE DEMENTED FASCIST WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT MYSELF... SEXWISE.  Hmm.  Makes sense!  But Kamala Harris is ALSO GOOD FOR DEMOCRACY AND THE ECONOMY AND EVERYTHING ELSE AS WELL.  Win/win/win.  Anyway.  Did Dick Cheney REALLY say he's not gonna vote for someone because they tried to steal a presidential election?  I Mean, that's CORRECT, it's A WRONG THING TO DO.  But you do realize YOU DID THAT AS WELL, right?  SUCCESSFULLY.  I'm not sure you realize it or not!  You might have cognitive dissonance!  But YOU DID SUCCESSFULLY STEAL A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION YOURSELF, in case you don't know!  Anyway.  I dunno.  Let's see.  If it gets more votes for Harris, fine, take the endorsement!  Maybe it takes away votes from Harris!  Everytime I associate Cheney(s) For Harris is a moment I'M NOT associating Someone/Something GOOD OR POSITIVE for Harris!  Hmm.  POSITIVE LIKE ME.  THAT JERK.  I HATE HIM SO MUCH.  What an Asshole!  Biggest douchebag of the millenium!  Hmm.  I remember when I was a kid, the show BIOGRAPHY on A & E was counting down The Top People of the millenium.  In the year 2000.  And I was like, When They're Celebrating How Great I am, In 3000, They'll Be Like, FUN FACT, THIS GREAT PERSON WASN'T ACTUALLY EVEN BORN IN THIS MILLENNIUM.  Was Born in 1988.  STILL COUNTS TOWARDS THE 2000'S APPARENTLY THOUGH.
   Hmm.  What can I do in my life to ensure I'll be on those lists.  Write some plays.  BE SHAKESPEARE.  Off the top of my head I can't very well INVENT things or something!  I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO INVENT.  I can sure as shit WRITE SOME PLAYS, though, that's easy!  ONE CHARACTER OR PLOT AT A TIME.  Hmm.  I can't do that either if we're being honest with myself.  Hmm.  Easy, then, Let's Not Be Honest With Myself!  ALRIGHT.  ANYWAY.  Maybe it WOULD be easier to invent something.  Huh.  Something that flies.  What if I invent something that DIDN'T FLY but NOW IT FLIES.  Ok that's a start.  Lemme workshop that in private.  Anyway.  I DUNNO.  I dislike this entry a lot now that I think about it!  But the good news is I ALREADY WROTE IT so I'LL NEVER HAVE TO WRITE IT AGAIN!  The bad news is IF THIS IS WHAT I WROTE TODAY it's a sign IT MAY BE WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR TEH FUTURE.  But the good news is I SHOW REMOURSE RIGHT NOW.  But the bad news is YOU DON'T KNOW SPECIFICALLY FOR WHAT EXACTLY.  We don't know WHAT EXACTLY I'm disowning!  ALSO WORDS ARE MEANINGLESS.  ACTIONS are what count!  Also COUNTING IS WHAT COUNTS.  When you count.  Numbers!  Counting is what counts! 
   Three paragraphs to go.  What if they fact checked Chump at the debate tomorrow night. People would love it!  They'd go out of their minds!  Something so simple would bring so many people such joy.  Hmm.  Anyway.  Let's see.  I dunno.  I liked Beetlejuice Beetlejuice a lot!  I don't know if there's many films coming up in the next couple months that I'm looking forward to that much, though!  Joker II should be okay.  I'm looking forward to that at about a 7.5 out of 10!  THAT'S MOSTLY IT.  Most films coming up are MEH TO ME.  OH NO.  THE WORLD WE LIVE IN ISN'T THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.  I may be misusing that phrase. There are two possible cinematic worlds we can live in For Some Reason.  The filmic world I'm in ISN'T THE BEST OF THEM.  I'm surely gonna get SOMETHING out of a lot of these movies that are gonna be released but NOT THE MOST.  AH WELL.  These things come and go IN PHASES.  Maybe 2026-2028 we get a nice stretch of HOLY SHIT SOME NICE ASS FILMS.  Probably will!  WE GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO.  That's how I feel.
   Penultimate paragraph.  ANYWAY.  MAYBE I write a bunch of films.  I'm FILM SHAKESPEARE.  I can do that!  Probably.  Seems pretty striaghtforward.  Come up with some titles RIGHT NOW off the top of my head.  Machead.  Titlead.  Henry The Sixteenth.  Jaunter.  Alright that's enough it'll take me a decade to write all those films I'm covered for now.  HMM.  Writing those titles Made Me Realize I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A GOOD THING IN WEEKS.  Just one of those Moments Of Self Realizations.  I've Been Full Of Shit FOR SOME TIME NOW.  Hmm.  But I FEEL IT IN ME.  I'm ON THE VERGE of A Good Epoch.  I'm ABOUT to Start Writing Well.  So what, who cares, either WRITE GOOD OR DON'T.  Huh. Well, when you put it that way, I seem like an asshole for This Entire Entry!  Huh.  Gotta EASE INTO TINGS.  Gotta WRITE SHITTY FOR A WHILE before I can Start Writing Rosily!  You don't know how it works!  You can't PROVE it doesn't work that way!  ANYWAY.  Hmm.  Tomorrow Will Be A Good Entry.  I'M CALLING IT.  Right now!  And Next paragraph will be a 5 out of 10!  I'm calling it.  Right now!
   Okay.  We'll see.  Sick of seeing POLLS of the presidential race.  I don't know what they MEAN.  I don't know WHAT ANYTHING MEANS.  WHAT IS REALITY.  Ah well.  I guess I should stop looking at things that confuse me.  Okay.  What should I look at.  I dunno.  Really not that much out there that makes me happy.  Most things I don't like.  I guess I could read books instead of look at my phone and idlewatch TV.  I like books!  That sounds too much like a Good Idea.  Not sure I like the sound of that.  Suspiciously Smart!  Makes sense, though!  Maybe I should try to remember that going forward!  HMM.  BOOKS.  What if I'm the Johnny Appleseed of Books.  IF I GET PEOPLE TO READ BOOKS I could be the biggest hero not just of the 2000's but OF ALL TIME.  They said Gutenberg was the biggest hero of the 1000's!  Because of the Printing Press!  HE WAS RANKED #1!  THUS if I propagate Books I'll be #1, too!  ALRIGHT.  NOW WE'RE TALKING.  Anyway.  You Guys Wanna Read Some Books?  I'M JUST GETTING STARTED.  I remember in elementary school they sold you special things to be book marks and now as an adult I realize Anything Can Be A Book Mark. HMM.  What do YOU use as a book mark?  Let's get a discussion going!  OR NOT.  In the spirit of books DO NOT RESPOND TO ME.  I'll see ya later! 

-4:17 P.M.   
  

Thursday, September 5, 2024

You'll Like The Next Thing I Write

    Hi!  Entry!  No beer, Vodka!  Got three shot bottles, not two.  That's 50% more alcohol than usual with the entry!  Figured I might as well have a party!  ANYWAY Party Time.  Gonna go see Beetlejuice x 2 tomorrow.  Gonna get a haircut on Saturday or Sunday.  Whichever day they're open!  I know barbers traditionally close one day during the weekend.  I forgetville which!  Anyways!  If they make a third movie in the Beetlejuice franchise, they have to be Very Careful not to summon Beetlejuice in the title of the film.  Cause if they keep going on the track they're on THEY ARE GOING TO.  Cracked that code.  Is it just me or is the entire cast of that film awesome.  Maybe it's just me That's Awesome.  I think I misunderstood the question.  Got a hamburger and cajun fries for dinner.  It's already here!  There's nothing else TO that story.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.  I could elaborate on Where It Came From but do you really wanna know?  It's not very interesting!  Looks like Russia is back at its old tricks!  I guess it just never stopped.  Paying people to spread Dis or Mis or Anti or Quasi or Fanta Information to influence elections!  For Shame.  Let America fuck with itself!  We already are doing a pretty good job.  We don't NEED help!
   Hmm.  Is it possible I AM a Useful Idiot for Russia?  YES.  VERY POSSIBLE.  But what are ya gonna do.  Live your life. FOMO!  YOLO.  WWLAD.  Lance Armstrong.  Don't people wear that bracelet on their wrists or something? What Would Lance Armstrong Do?  Anyway.  Russia isn't paying me a dime.  But Russianesque people have GOTTEN ME HIGH before!  That's one way to go about getting someone to Think And Eventually Speak your way!  I had a roommate who was of Probable Russian background who dealt me weed for a few months!  If I'm a longterm Manchurian Website Writer we can go back to that moment in life and BLAME IT ON THE RUSSIANS.  Why not.  America has no agency.  ONLY RUSSIA!  I dunno.  Maybe he was a secret CIA agent designed to look like a Russian.  Or Maybe he was a secret CGI agent and he didn't even exist at all.  COULDA BEEN COMPUTER ANIMATED THIS ENTIRE TIME.  The important thing is that I probably wouldn't have ever had sex in life without him.  He invited girl up to our dorm to smoke weed and that's whom I eventually lost my virginity to!  Hmm.  Sure sounds like a set-up.  He got me sex and weed.  OF COURSE it was transactional somehow.  So what did he get.  I ENDED UP WRITING JOKE PARAGRAPHS FIFTEEN YEARS LATER.  Oh okay that makes sense.
   He got to LAUGH.  Third paragraph.  I may have paid for the weed some of the time!  Some of the time he shared, some of the time I paid!  THAT'S NORMAL.  He also had sex with the girl himself after she was done with me!  THAT'S NORMAL.  I really don't like you jumping to conclusions about My Friend.  Anyway.  He's the one who sold me the Bad Weed.  That was laced with something.  That ended up making me crazy and I had to drop out of school.  Ruined my life!  Hey, sounds like an asshole.  May not have been a Russian Asset but he DID Fuck My Shit Up.  Then again I got high a bunch and had sex.  So I can't help but think back fondly on those times!  I woulda gone crazy eventually!  If you're predisposed to mental illness, you're predisposed!  WHO CARES what eventually pushed me over the edge!  Anyway.  It's possible he wanted my Room.  He was my suitemate and I had a single room by myself.  And when I eventually dropped out, I heard later that he had moved himself into my room.  Hmm.  Might have been just making the most of a bad situation.  Or might have been part of the plan!
   Hmm.  Anyway.  I've definitely been brainwashed by America 100x more than this guy!  DON'T WORRY EVERYONE WILL GET THEIR TURN.  What turn.  TO BRAINWASH ME.  Anyway.  Fourth paragraph.  I don't wanna take the next week off from the website!  Gonna try to power through!  So that's good!  Anyway.  What's so wrong with, "Useful Idiots."  Idiots are usually, in general, not useful!  That's why they're idiots!  FINALLY someone is utilizing them!  But it's for Malevolent Reasons.  RUSSIAN reasons.  Russia is a country that's up to no good!  They're authoritarian and whatknot!  I don't like the way they do things!  On the other hand, Useful Idiot could be the title of my autobiography.  IF I EVER GET an autobiography book deal. IF I DO then obviously I've led a Useful Enough Life so it's accurate.   What's Going On Again?  Hmm.  Ballsack is in pain right now.  I'm sitting on it.  I'M GOING THERE.  TOUCHING ON THE SUBJECTS NO ONE ELSE DARE TOUCH ON.  Ok it's loosening up now.  On it's own!  Somehow the scrotum figured out how to alleviate itself from the pressure that I was putting it under!  Look my body is very resilient it knows how to adjust to difficult circumstances is the point.
   Fifth paragraph!  What else is up.  I really don't think I'm the Russian Asset you need to worry about!  I'm the Russian Asset YOU DON'T need to worry about.  Let's MOVE ON.  About halfway through my vodka supply.  It's been fun!  But I wish I had more left compared to how much I already drank!  So that's good.  VODKA?  THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RUSSIAN DRINK.  Wrong!  My Russiany Roommate specifically enjoyed Whiskey!  Which I did, too!  It was a bonding experience between us both!  So that's good.  Anyway.  VODKA even LOOKS like it's in Russian.  The sequence of letters.  V-O-D-K-A.  VODKA.  It's like I'm reading Russian Right Now!  AMAZING, I'M NOT QUITE SURE WHAT THAT MEANS.  Internet says Vodka is either from Poland or Vodka or possibly Sweden.  That would explain that!  Yeah!  Anyway AM I RIGHT that in a few months we'll be closer to the early 2030's than the late 2010's?  Lemme crunch those numbers.  I THINK SO. Lemme crunch those numbers again.  YEAH.  Lemme crunch those numbers again.  NO.  I DID THEM IN MY HEAD ENOUGH TIMES. TWO.  I THINK I GET THE PICTURE ALREADY.
   What the hell.  I'm gonna be like in my FIFTIES by the time it's the 30's.  No.  I'll be 41 when The Ball Drops.  That's still Too Old.  I dunno.  The older I get, the less old it seems!  That's Cool.  WHAT ELSE is going on.  I still feel pretty young at heart.  I'm OLD at body and mind and soul.  Those are pretty much the main important things and they're all pretty weathered and beaten down.  HEART IS OKAY THOUGH.  One out of four things ain't bad!  ANYWAY it's good to have an Old Soul.  What does that mean.  You're Sensitive Like An Old Person.  Something like that!  Young people don't take things seriously like the elderly.  Old Souls DO.  ANYWAY.  Sixth paragraph.  Not supposed to be taking walks in the park.  There's TICS abound.  My mom warned me.  Also, they're SPRAYING for tics!  I should be weary of that, too!  EITHER WAY still taking Park Walks.  I don't play by Society's Rules.  I'm a rebel!  I still see everyone else taking walks in the park.  I'm not the only one Risking It All!  TICS ARE TOO.  If they were smart they'd get the Hell out of Dodge!  Where is Dodge.  I assume there IS A DODGE somewhere.  Montana?  Indiana?  California?  LET'S SEE. Kansas.  That would have been my first guess if I were guessing correctly!
   Wow!  Four paragraphs to go!  Then we're taking weekend time!  Which I may try to Live Rightly!  HOW DO I DO THAT.  Masturbate to the right things!  That's my main thing.  I'm gonna see the movie, get a haircut, finish Kurt Cobain book, ALL THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT.  But equally important is Masturbate To The Best Of My Ability.  AND THEN AND ONLY THEN can I claim I Weekended Right!  AMAZING.  That's Life For Ya!  The best way to masturbate may be to Not Do It At All!  But I don't think that's in the cards.  So let's see, how can I do it to Maximize My Benefits.  Not just momentary pleasure.  That's Chump Change.  How can I SPIRITUALLY RISE ABOVE by masturbating to the right things Session To Session.  Hmm.  We'll See!  Anyway.  I've gotten used to Kurt Cobain over the last few weeks!  Hard to accept that after this weekend He'll Be Gone!  Now I know how his friends and loved ones felt!  Not really.  The impression I got of him is different than how he really is.  Now I know how people who read the same book as I did at the same pace as I did felt!  YEAH.  I GUESS.  Hmm.  Good chance I'll get to know and like Jimi Hendrix.  I don't know THING ONE about him.  Must be a relatable person, too!  He's a Lefty as well.  When it comes to guitar players, WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED.  We're all lefties.  WE'RE ALL TEH SAME.
   Three paragraphs to go.  Amazing!  I don't like today or this week or this month!  This month is only this week so far.  WELL SO FAR THIS MONTH AND THIS WEEK SUCK!  Great.  Anyway.  I'm a big Tim Burton fan in the sense that I hear the name Tim Burton and I go hey that's a respected name in the multimedia business and I can point to a few films I've enjoyed that he's been involved in.  So that's pretty good.  Batmen!  Big Fish!  Sleepy Hollow!  He's Fine!  They don't make em like they used to.  You couldn't make Sleepy Hollow today! ...They already made it!  Hmm.  Did I like Mars Attacks as a kid or did I just watch it 3 dozen times out of boredom.  Hard to say!  I like the ensemble nature of it.  Don't get bogged down on one character!  Always switching over to some other people!  I like that!  Also the ultimate fate of a lot of Main Characters is BAD.  That doesn't happen in a lot of main stream movies.  Bad Stuff Happens to likable main characters!  I respect that!  Hmm. I'LL NEVER SEE DUMBO THOUGH.  Why would I watch a movie that's INSULTING ME right in the title!     
   That's one way to finish a paragraph.  Two more paragraphs to go!  Let's see.  I like the new marijuana I got.  The EFFECTS are good. They only last 75% the amount of time as previous marijuana, though!  I guess I'll adjust!  THE GOOD NEWS IS the store I get marijuana from isn't gonna start sleeping with the girl I was having sex with and then move into my room once I'm gone.  Probably not at least.  I can't leave this room.  I've got nowhere else to go!  And I'm not sleeping with any girl at the moment!  No one to steal!  Hmm.  Also it's A STORE.  Not A PERSON.  Multi-peopled organization!  Totally different set-up.  Whatever.  Can't be a useful idiot for Recreational Dispensaries is the point which is EXACTLY WHY I'm for Legalized Marijuana!  Anyway.  I believe I saw Trump said a few days ago he's for legalized marijuana.  YOUR MOVE, KAMALA.  P.S. the move is to also be for Legalized Marijuana.  Even Outflank Him.  MANDATORY MARIJUANA.  Seriously, though!  You can't let him get the marijuana vote!  C'MON, MAN. 
   Last paragraph.  The week is just about over.  What fun was had.  I can't remember.  I guess No Fun Was Had.  If we can't remember.  Then it equals NONE.  Oh.  That's too bad.  YEP.  THEM'S TEH BREAKS.  Whatever!  Let's see.  Main thing giving me structure in life is Upcoming Election.  I don't like it.  I should have other things to focus on and give me inspiration.  Being on the Kamala Train though IS FOREVER.  That's Just The Direction The Country Is Going In.  That's one way to look at it. Kinda dumb, thuogh!  Either way my life gonna continue on past the election and I gotta start thinking about What Can I Do For Myself To Get Stuff Going On. Hmm.  I enjoyed drinking vodka today.  Is that something I can incorporate into my regular life?  Sure.  Why not.  Anyway.  I don't DESERVE a good weekend.  I wrote a shitty four entries for the website this week.  AH WELL.  NO ONE IS PERFECT.  Except for Oh I Don't Know NIKOLA TESLA.  If I were him I'd come back to life and sue Elon Musk.  First he has to deal with Edison stealing his shit.  Then Musk steals his name.  WHERE DOES IT END.  Alright. That's it.  I'll see ya next week!  A WHOLE NEW WEEK!  Amazing!  See ya then!

-4:04 P.M. 
  

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

Maybe I Should Try Harder

    Hey friends!  Gotta write an entry now!  I don't know how that's supposed to happen!  Just take it one sentence at a time.  I could break the entry up by many units.  Paragraphs, sentences, words, letters.  Gonna go with ONE SENTENCE AT A TIME.  It's not The Best but it's The Easiest For Me!  Anyway I ordered Peacock.  I started watching Life: Homicide On The Streets!  I don't pay that much attention so I'm not sure IF THERE EVEN IS A PLOT but I'm definitely enjoying it anyway!  ALSO they got Mr. Monk's Big Movie on Peacock!  I started watching that!  OKAY now we're all caught up.  I might take next week off from the website.  Because I'm running on fumes!  I can't spell Fumes without me saying F U to ME.  And then there's an, "S," in there for good measure.  I think I should go Paragraph by Paragraph.  Not sentence by sentence.  Okay.  Fine.  I Should Do Lots Of Things.  ANYWAY School Shooting in Georgia.  Gotta wonder, what, was the kid waiting all Summer to do this?  School just started!  Seems strange, there hasn't been enough time during the semester for School to piss him off yet!  I SENSE A FALSE FLAG AFOOT.  What do you expect when Real Guns are CHEAPER than Super Soakers!  Guy wanted to waterfight all summer but couldn't afford the water guns so he waited until September and shot up his school!  POOR RIFF.  UNWELL JOB DONE WELL.  I LOSE.
    Yeah!  School Shooting in the news means once again we get to Shrug Our Shoulders and Not Do Anything About Guns because WHY AGAIN?  I DUNNO.  Just don't FEEL LIKE IT.  Get around to it LATER.  I'm starting to suspect I HAVE THE POWER to control the lightbulb that goes on and off in my room.  I notice it goes on and off at INTERESTING moments throughout my thought process.  No, it's not like I consciously think AND LET THERE BE LIGHT and then the bulb starts working again.  But I feel like there's some crossover between What's On My Mind and Hey The Bulb Is Going Back On Or Going Back Off.  And I'm building my skills MORE AND MORE such that EVENTUALLY I'll be able to control it completely.  YEAH.  Super Hero Powers!  Didn't see that one coming!  Practice makes perfect I guess!  Okay.  If I had Complete Control I'd just say TURN ON and STAY ON.  Boom WE'RE DONE.  Can I apply my powers to Help Society??  I dunno, I don't wanna PRESS.  If I start doing too much that's gonna make it seem like I'm unappreciative of the Gifts Been Given To Me!  I think I'll just Mostly Do Things That Help Me Specifically Mostly For The Most Part.  That's the noble thing to do!  I help society a lot when I'm helping myself.  SEE?  The light is on in my room!  If anyone else wants to come into my room THEY WILL BE IN THE LIGHT AS WELL!
   Sure.  I dunno.  I like it when Society Succeeds because I AM IN SOCIETY.  ALSO, what if I get confused and forget Which One I Am.  So I wanna help All of Society!  MIGHT AS WELL use my powers to Raise All Sinking Ships just in case one day I forget Which One I Am!  I wanna make sure I benefit in the end!  Oh okay that makes sense.  Sounds like I'm getting pizza tonight.  Looks like Barron Von Trump is going to NYU.  NOT A FAN.  I WENT THERE.  AND I WANT TO GO THERE.  I'm not a fan of him going there!  He better get the most out of that wonderful experience and appreciate it OR ELSE.  I suggest he picks up guitar and writes a dozen or two songs over his freshman year.  He may not have the most sex but it's tons of fun regardless!  In fact he may have the least sex but at least he'll be doing what God put him on this Earth to do!  Hmm.  He gets to eat at CAFETERIAS. What do they call them.  MESS HALLS.  No they don't.  Hmm.  DINING HALLS.  WOW!  You can get your hamburger with fries AND onion rings.  That's dumb.  Now that I think about it I HATE THAT.  Because of that specifically, 'm glad I'm done with that part of my life.  TIME TO GROW UP.
    Fourth paragraph!  I remember being perplexed by the Dessert Station at the Serve-Yourself-All-You-Can-Eat Dining Hall.  Hmm. I just ate an entire meal.  More than I needed.  Now I can just have SOME CAKE AS WELL.  Go Figure!  It's not that confusing when I type it out.  Anyway.  MAYBE I was confused Why isn't EVERYONE having cake?  That might have been it.  I might have been returning to the table and been like Hey guys why aren't you all eating cake, too?  But only Privately In My Head.  Hmm.  Anyway.  Also, Baron Trump, don't neglect your studies!  What you hear outside your dormitory window might be the most valuable life lessons you'll learn!  THE CITY is your campus and KNOWLEDGE is all around!  I lived on the tenth floor my Freshman year and I managed to hear all sorts of interesting stuff from out on the street.  That doesn't sound possible.  DON'T TELL ME HOW MY LIFE GOES.  Huh.  Church Bell Rang.  That's for sure! I HEARD THAT outside my window!  Maybe it was a clock.  What sounds does a clock make.  Ticking.  No I didn't hear ticking.  Definitely was A Church Clock Bell.  Oh.  Okay.  Is this over yet.  Not quite.  Got a few decades of life left to go.  Oh.  WELL Lemme know when we're almost over!
   I guess.  SIX Paragraphs to go!  Looking forward to Joker II!  I liked Joker I okay!  It's a pretty polarizing movie!  I wasn't that polarized!  I thought it was GOOD.  I guess I'm on the Positive Pole.  But I didn't think it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.  ANYWAY.  I wanna make a movie called COMIC.  But it's about the life of a REAL Stand Up Comedian.  It has nothing to do with JOKER except a very real similarity in Title.  And I guess a small similarity in plot.  ALSO how am I qualified to write a movie about a Stand Up Comedian.  By the time I write the movie I'll have been a stand up comedian for several years.  I won't write this movie UNLESS That's Been My Life!  It's that kind of idea.  ANYWAY Pizza is no longer a Definite for tonight!  My parents WERE gonna get Italian tonight.  Now they're gonna get NOTHING.  What should I do.  I could get ANYTHING for myself!  WOW.  ANYWAY.  Would NOW be a good time for Kamala to make Gun Control an issue?  Probably!  I think she could tap into a real groundswell of enthusiasm at this precise moment to rally for gun control!  Oh okay PLUS saying that helped me finish this paragraph so it's Even More Good!
   Five paragraphs to go.  Might get Halal Food for dinner.  Baron Von Trump should definitely be experimenting with Halal Food while he's at NYU.  What's there to experiment.  It's chicken and lamb over rice.  White and hot sauce.  There's not much complicated about it.  Okay.  Well, just DO IT then.   PLENTY of carts all around!  HMM.  What's he gonna major in.  Off the top of my head I assume business.  Oh.  I was gonna make a joke answer.  Business is probably the most accurate answer.  GREAT.  Anyway.  I read a headline earlier that Cooper Union was re-starting a program they used to have where they gave free tuition to Seniors.  And I was like... Really?  If someone is 70 years old and gets admitted they can attend for free?  Then I realized Oh, it's after someone pays for college for three years, they get to attend for the final year for free.  Anyway.  Fire Drills!  Don't discount a Dormitory Fire Drill as the potential Social Event Of The Season!  I got nothin.
    Seventh paragraph!  Oh No I'm going on the generic version of a drug I was previously taking the brand name of.  Internet says they have the exact same ingredients and work the same.  Oh.  THE INTERNET says it.  If the internet told me to jump off a bridge, would I do it?  The internet isn't telling me TO DO things.  It's just telling me THE WAY THINGS ARE.  If the internet told me A Bridge Was Jump Offable, Would I Believe It?  POSSIBLY.  I probably wouldn't do it out of an abundance of caution, though!  Unless I thought there was a bouncy castle below the bridge!  Or something else fun to hit as I land!  I'd jump off a bridge if the internet said it was safe, if I could see with my eyes it was probably okay, and there was real incentive that I was gonna hit something fun and not hard!  Okay.  Hmm.  Ran out of my Super market supply of beer for Tomorrow's Entry.  Maybe I buy 2 shot bottles of liquor instead of beer for tomorrow!  If I'm gonna go out of my way to buy alcohol maybe I treat myself with a unique experience and have some vodka or whiskey or something.  Equivalent alcohol amount of normal beer intake!
   THREE paragraphs to go!  Great!  Today sucked but I'm gonna look back at it tonight and figure out a way to trick myself into thinking it was good enough.  ALRIGHT!  That'll do.  MAKE USE OF THE R.A.'s.  They're residential assistants.  They're there to help you RESIDE.  If you need any help Living In Your Room that's what they're there for!  Hmm.  Maybe they'll lay in your bed to show you an example of what it is you should be doing correctly.  BONUS POINTS FOR YOU if its a sweet, sexy lady!  Hmm.  What else is going on.  Gotta write an entry TOMORROW.  Then I got at LEAST a 3 day weekend and possibly AN ENTIRE WEEK OFF!  ALSO I BET when I return to writing I WILL BE GOOD AGAIN.  Imagine that.  Quality Crap Coming Out Of My... Holes.  Not sure what holes.  I'm not SPEAKING.  I guess what I write is coming out of my Fingers Extremities most accurately physically.  Then into the keyboard.  Then into the computer.  And then onto the internet.  Then into YOUR computer or phone.  Then into your eyes.  Then into your brain.  And that's how the website works.  Hmm.  When I put it that way!
    WHAT WAY.  Anyway.  I guess I could always go back to NYU for Grad School if I had half a million dollars and got accepted into one of their exclusive elusive programs.  I'm learning just fine by taking UCB classes One Pop At A Time!  MAYBE I'm getting dumber each class, I dunno, I'm not sure!  We'll see what happens eventually.  At some point Me and UCB are gonna saturate each other's market or something!  One day I'll be like Hmm I've taken 60 UCB Classes And I'm Still Terrible At This WHAT'S GOING ON.  And the UCB will be like What the Hell this guy has taken more classes than anyone else ever and he's still terrible at this WHAT'S GOING ON.  So I dunno!  We'll see what happens!  Hmm.  What else is up.  I guess we're almost done with the entry!  WHY do I chew gum on walks.  And not any other time. What is it about walking that makes me think Well if I'm gonna be outside, walking, I BETTER BE CHEWING SOME GUM FOR IT.  I dunno.  Is it that I need to REWARD myself for the CHORE of walking?  Is it that it helps take my mind off the HASSLE of walking?  Does the gum give me ENERGY to walk?  Hmm.  Either way!  Taking a walk means a stick of gum!
   Last paragraph! Wonderful!  I should have tried getting high today for the entry.  I'd have written better!  I dunno.  I don't like it.  Too risky.  I'd probably write better but then I also risk Being Out Of My Mind.  Maybe you need to be out of your mind a little bit to write well.  I DUNNO IF I LIKE THAT.  I don't wanna be Consciously Out OF My Mind when I'm writing!  UNCONSCIOUSLY, SURE.  Consciously, though?  Not my ideal way to write!  Hmm.  Anyway.  Everything I'm thinking and feeling now is irrelevant!  I'm gonna read back this entry tonight when I'm high and I'm gonna be like WHO EVEN WAS THIS PERSON.  So what's the point in the end.  I'm doing the best with what I have available to me!  I'm The Most Me I Can Be Right Now!  Which is PRETTY FAR OFF but I guess In Some Sense Relatively Close!  So that's good.  How would I define myself.  Go.... Uh... I DON'T KNOW.  Not who I am right now.  Who I am right now is some sort of TYPIST OF LESS-THAN-MEDIOCRITY.  Ultimate Me is some sort of Slightly Better Person! I dunno!  No Spoilers!  Anyway!  I guess that's it for today.  Gonna just live a better life over the next 21 hours.  Play my cards right and I approach the entry tomorrow from the point of A Solider Me! WOW.  I'll see ya soon!

-5:19 P.M.
        

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

Is This Really Necessary

    What's up my friends!  You never consented to being my friend. Oh.  Lemme try again.  What's Up Universe!  You never consented to being An Entity In The Universe.  Oh.  Lemme try again.  YOU AND I DO NOT EXIST.  BUT WHAT IS GOING ON.  Just got back from a very combative Psychiatry appointment!  I don't need to get into all the details, but suffice to say I'm gonna start seeing a new psychiatrist!  This one was being a dick!  Why don't I need to get into all the details. I dunno.  I typed em out but then I felt it was too clunky!   Either way gonna see this one one more time and then she's transferring me to a new one!  GREAT.  I'd say there's a 75% chance there's no real problems caused by Starting New Psychiatrist.  And maybe there'll be some benefits!  I dunno!  HMM.  I signed up for Writing 4 Late N4ght Television Class that starts a week from Thursday!  Man.  I have a head ache from that Confrontation I had with Psychiatrist.  We weren't yelling at each other but there was definitely some Two Way Low Key Hostility in the interaction!  I don't love Hostility!  I really went out of my way to be nice!  But she was really being offensive as a person and completely unreasonable as a doctor.  Hmm.  I wonder what the fight was about.  Wow all I had to do was delete the paragraph I wrote about it and now I half forgot!  WHEW.  I feel better already!
    Anyway.  JOKES.  A guy, a person, and an asshole walk into a bar.  The guy says pour me a beer.  The person says I'd like a shot!  The asshole says Nothing for me!  The bartender does what's expected of him.  The guy drinks his beer.  The person drinks his shot.  The asshole goes WHAT, WHERE'S MY DRINK?  The bartender goes But you didn't want anything?  The asshole goes No, I wanted a Nothing!  YOU KNOW, THE DRINK?  A, "NOTHING?"  Anyway.  And that's just off the top of my head!  Okay.  Let's see.  A priest and a rabbi are sitting at the baseball game.  The Priest goes this team wins every time I come.  The Rabbi goes why do you think that is?  The Priest goes Because I get sexually excited when the team wins.  Hey that's not half bad!  Could use some Punching Up BUT IT'S GOT POTENTIAL.  Hmm.  A rabbi and a rabbit are locked in an escape room together.  They have thirty minutes to get out or they'll both suffocate to death.  The Rabbi says to the Rabbit, I'll do all the work, you're just a rabbit.  The rabbit says, WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE.  Rabbi goes EXACTLY.  LEAVE IT TO ME.  I GOT IT.
    Anyway.  Two paragraphs down!  Is it possible the Lite Nite Television Class will end up being cancelled?  Right now there's lots of spots left open!  We'll see I guess!  HMM.  I haven't had lunch in several days!  We're talkin like four or five days!  I LIKE IT.  Maybe I had one lunch in the last four or five days.  But for the most part-- No!  ANYWAY.  I don't need to find myself a new psychiatrist or anything.  I still see the same General Hospital! They got a whole team of people!  They'll find a new person!  Maybe they'll even transfer me back to an old person I used to see!  WOW.  Maybe they'll put me back with the Doctor who looked like Jane Lynch of Glee.  She was alright!  HEY I just absorbed an ad for State Farm and YA KNOW WHAT?  "Like a good neighbor State Farm is there."  I don't like it!  GOOD NEIGHBORS ARE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.  I don't want to deal with neighbords.  If you really wanna be Like A Good Neighbor YOU'D LEAVE ME ALONE and  STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS.  Is that a joke or something.  Sure sounds like one!  What's other commercials that are wrong.  Burger King's slogan is, "Have It Your Way."  PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.  Might work on TV usually but not in print. 
    Should I continue that riff.  It's been fun so far!  Hmm.  NYTimes is "All The News That's Fit To Print."  Gotta wonder... what of the news that's UNFIT To Print!  I don't like it.  That one wasn't necessary.  But I DO WONDER.  What qualifies as news but is unfit to print.  Pornography News.  Oh I get it.  Either that or news that challenges existing power structures.  Oh I get it.  Hmm.  How come I don't have an official slogan.  I don't need to.  I don't have anything I'm trying to distract from!  Slogans are for GUILTY organizations with something to hide!  Anyway.  I don't think I'm gonna continue watching Better Call Saul.  I'm about eight episodes in and I'm not 100% sure what's happening.  I LIKE IT.  It's pleasant to watch.  But I don't know what the plot is!  I'm not absorbing it!  Kinda good sign I should check out something else instead!  YEAH.  I know the guy is some sort of lawyer.  And his actual name is Bob Odenkirk in what most of us consider real life.  I get that much.  So That's Good!  Anyway.  You're In Good Hands With All State.  Gross.  Hands are gross.  I MAY be grossed out by hands.  I never thought about it before but it sounds right off the top of my head.
    Fifth paragraph.  Hey maybe I get a haircut this weekend.  Been a while!  Sounds about right.  Plus, then my head will be more attractive potentially!  Possibly LESS attractive!  That's the gamble we take when we get haircuts!  Anyway.  Gotta go into the haircut with a good attitude.  The way I present myself influences the haircut they give me!  If I go in there with a positive sense of self they'll be like this guy knows what he's doing, he's gonna get the A+ Haircut Royale.  But if I go in there like a jerk they're gonna be like fuck this guy, I'm gonna make him look stupid.  So it's really on me to prepare!  This is gonna be tough!  Probably gonna reinforce negative feelings and end up Feeling And Looking Dumb and then I'll get a bad hair cut.  Maybe I can just be HONEST with the barber.  Look, you and I both can tell I'm a jerk.  Just give me the haircut You'd Give A Successful Smart Attractive Positive Person.  Why Not What's The Harm.  They'd do it if I were just open with them!  The point is the haircut you get just reinforces who you were when you entered the barber shop?  THAT SOUNDS FAIR. 
   Halfway through the entry.  Huh!  What else is up.  I musta made Similar Haircut Jokes before.  WHAT?  REPEATS?  Get out of town!  Must be very jarring for the reader.  It's straight up OFFENSIVE to me, the writer, when I realize something I just wrote is something I'm Pretty Sure I Wrote For The Website Before.  I'M OFFENDED by myself that I'd repeat jokes.  SO that's good!  Anyway.  Why can't I think of more things.  Cause I don't have anything going on in my mind.  I'm really one of the dumbest people there are.  I'm the least qualified person in the world to write this shit.  Ah well.  Maybe that makes me JUST THE RIGHT person to do it.  People who would be better at it IN FACT are actually OVERQUALFIED.  And who would want that!  Possibly The Audience.  Oh.  Right.  Those Guys.  Forgot about you.  OK time to get back into Jokes.  TOMORROW.  I GIVE UP.  I admit defeat for now.  WAITNO.  I admit defeat for the paragraph.  Not the day!  I'm gonna give it the good ol' College Try in a minute.  Here we go.
   I can't FORCE my brain to be entertaining.  Well not with that attitude I can't.  Huh.  The Hair Cut is is what FRAMES the Brain.  Yes there's skin and skull between as well.  But the hair is ultimately what covers the brain to other people!  I'm not sure that's accurate.  Hmm.  I was as polite as possible to Pshyatrist today!  I hope I don't get a reputation for being a jerk!  Future pshyatrist ideally isn't gonna go into the relationship thinking I'm a Troublemaker!  Because I'm not!  I'm a Good Guy!  REALLY.  Wonderful.  SHE WAS BEING A DICK though!  I don't think we need to get into specifics!  Anyway.  What am I gonna do with the rest of my life Today.  I should read a quick chapter of Kurt Cobain book.  I'd enjoy it AND I've got the time!  Only takes half an hour!  But I probably won't!  Maybe I'll finally subscribe to Peacock so I can watch HOMO-cide life on the STRAIGHTS.  Sounds plausible.  I wonder if there are any actors-- teh folks who pretend to be characters-- that I'd recognize in it!  Lemme LTURQ.  They've.  Got.  BELZER.
   Three paragraphs to go.  Whatever.  I think I like the new Marijuana.  OG Kush.  The effects MAY not last a long time, though.  It hits hard enough!  But it MAY fizzle out relatively quickly.  OR I may not have been paying close enough attention and that impression is faulty!  Either way the exact feeling was interesting and decent and pretty good!  I guess I get to see Beetlejuice Beetlejuice this weekend!  That shuold be fun.  PLEASE let it be fun.  How do I prepare properly to get the most out of it.  DON'T DO ANYTHING for 96 hours beforehand.  Lay in bed hooked up to an IV.  No TV, no reading, no Food, Nothing!  Well that's one way to go about it.  Couldn't HURT.  I definitely WOULD like the film that way.  Still would like it The Other Way, too, though!  Oh no we're already close to 96 hour territory.  Gonna see it SOMETIME this weekend at least.  Anyway.  If they made a sequel to 48 Hours what would it be called.  I made that joke already here.  Almost deifnitely.  But, in case I didn't, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED.  96 Hours?  72 Hours?  HMM.  This is a tough one.
    Penultimate paragraph.  They did make a sequel.  It was called, "Another 48 Hours."  Shows how much I know!  I KNOW ALL RELEVANT INFORMATION AS OF NOW.  All caught up It Seems!  YES.  Hmm.  I've been writing like shit forever.  This has been my entire life it feels like.  There've been pockets of quality over the course of time.  Oh So You're Saying I Should Give Myself Another Shot Tomorrow?  I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.  POSSIBLE THAT I SHOULD END IT ALL TONIGHT.  Oh Okay That Doesn't Sound Like Good Advice.  THAT'S RIGHT I'M A BAD ADVICE MAN.  Anyway.  At least I'm giving myself the best bad advice I have at my disposal!  This is what I have available to me at the moment!  As soon as I get better information or intuition I'll update myself appropriately!  Whatever.  People are READING THIS.  And CORRECTLY THINKING IT'S BAD.  What the hell.  That's going on.  RIGHT NOW.  Amazing.  So what else is up.  Maybe no one is reading this.  No.  People are reading it!  Maybe it's not bad.  No.  It's definitely bad!
   Last paragraph!  I never wanna write this shitty again.  Well then just don't enter the barbershop in this kinda attitude again.  We covered this!  You get the haircut you deserve/earn/need/believe in/want/make sense in!  SO that's good.  What should I Do In Life to arrive at the website tomorrow in a good attitude?  Hmm.  Do normal stuff.  But in my head, be like, I'ma Write Well Or Somethin, I Dunno.  That might be good enough!  Off the top of my head THAT'S ALL I GOT.  We'll see if it's enough!  It might come down to WHAT SONGS I listen to while walking.  I dunno.  Maybe I should listen to music from the 1960's-1970's.  WHY.  I was looking around in my room and the first thing I saw was my box of MONOPOLY in my closet and that made me think of MONO VS STEREO which made me think of Old Time Music.  Feels like they don't have too much of a mono vs stereo debate with Newer Music.  REALLY ONLY A PROBLEM when you're talking about The Beatles or The Kinks or something.  Anyway I guess that's it!  I think we're ready to put today behind us!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:11 P.M. 

Monday, September 2, 2024

Hey You'll Appreciate This

    Hey!  Friends!  Nice to see you again!  Happy Labour Day!  Today is the day we celebrate labor by Not Doing It.  Why should we! It's a chore and a hassle!  I'm doing labor right now.  That's cause I happen to have an essential job.  I'm a first responder and whatknot.  Read more Kurt Cobain book!  At this point it's mostly about Heroin!  What an idiot.  Imagine how good a life he could have had if he just never did heroin!  ALSO imagine how good a life I could have had if I just never had mental illness, was a foot taller, and also had Super Powers!  Why did I choose to forgo all that!  Hmm.  Started Better Caul Saul.  It's an okay show so far!  Part of me likes it, part of me thinks my time would be better spent elsewhere.  Oh so I should be watching St. Elsewhere.  That SOUNDS like a TV Show At Least!  It took place Some St. Other Location.  What else is important to touch on in the INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH.  Added Beyonce -- Freedom to my presumable playlist.  By which I mean I started listening to it now and then.  It pumps me up!  Give it a shot yourself, I say!  THERE.  Next paragraph it's time for some CONTENT.
   Man.  I accomplished SO MUCH this weekend.  The stuff I just said.  I wrote a few dozen phrases that could be Generic Titles. And, if not, at least now I have Phrases In My Notebook.  I can LOOK AT THEM.  WHAT DO THEY MEAN?  They must mean something!  HMM.  Where does my inspiration COME FROM.  What divine source GAVE ME Today's Title.  And are they putting me on the right track or leading me astray!  I think I'm on the right track.  Plus, I got titles for miles!  Most Or All of my upcoming titles will probably be Currently Unwritten Ones but I have plenty to pick from if I can't come up with any!  Hmm.  I just wanna say things that don't not make sense.  God, if you're up there, give me some phrases that people can read and understand!  God's gonna grant that request because why not.  If you pray to God asking for very little SOMETIMES HE'LL SAY YES!  Anyway GOOD NEWS suddenly my For You Feed in Twitter is full of Polish Tweets!  Pretty sure Twitter just decided I was being too engaged with Democratic Politics and was like That's not good Let's just give him some hits with a language he doesn't understand.  How many Poles does it take to screw in a light bulb.  TWO.  One to screw it in and The Other To Be Dumb About It!  Hmm.  How many Americans does it take to be RUDE.  ONE.  AND HOW DARE THEM.
    I highly doubt Polish people are any stupider than the rest of us.  Unfortunately for them The Rest Of Us are pretty stupid!  We're all terrible with light bulbs is the point.  Anyway.  One of my two Room Lightbulbs keeps going on and off for like the last 3 weeks.  This is ridiculous.  Pick a side at some point!  On or off!  I'm always reading my book and then all of a sudden it gets darker and I'm like OK I guess my eyes gonna have to focus a bit harder now.  Thanks for nothing Light Bulb.  How many Americans does it take to figure out to replace the lightbulb that isn't consistently working.  I dunno!  If it still is light half the time maybe I wanna milk it as much as possible!  Maybe I'm being CONSERVATORY you idiot!  Anyway.  How many Poles does it take to be on the Earth.  Two.  North and South!  Seems like there might be an unofficial East and West Pole?  Hmm.  Probably not!  Lemme LTURQ. NOPE.  Nothin' like that.  Anyway.  I should shave soon.  I dunno.  Shaving is more of a Weekend activity.   That's THE DEVIL talking. I watched that Lee Daniels Exorcist-type movie.  That was okay!  I watched Adam Sandler's concert show movie!  That was alright!  Half of it I enjoyed a lot and half of it felt a little off!  Hmm.
    Fourth paragraph.  How many Polish Posts do I have to click Not Interested In for the algorithm to realize OH MAYBE HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN THE POLISHNESS OF IT.  STOP GIVING HIM THE POLISH POSTS IS THE MORAL OF TEH STORY.  Hmm.  I guess I can start to learn Polish.  If I really put the work in, This Might Be The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life!  POLISH POSTS ARE TEH FUTURE.  Anyway.  Better Polandcentric content than lots of other countries!  Like what.  I dunno of the top of my heat Lichtenstein.  I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.  Croatia.  KEEP IT OUTTA MY FEED.  That island made out of garbage that they legally declared a country that floats across the oceans.  NOT MY PROBLEM.  Anyway.  I enjoyed Kamala's interview last Thursday!  Interviewer was giving her shitty question prompts but Kamala gave solid answers one after another!  WOW.  Starting to get the sense that Harris is just a straight up COMPETENT person!  WOW.  I'd like to be competent one day.  Maybe in an alternative universe!  Anyway.  Polish.  It's a verb as well as a people.  How many Polish people REALIZE THAT.  PROBABLY THE MAJORITY.
   Okay. That's how that goes.  It's possible I'm Part Polish.  The town two grand parents Are From has been traded between Two Countries over and over so it's hard to say what country it is in the end.  IS one of those Two Countries Poland?  Well I'd have to guess so based on the way that story was framed!  Ya never can know for sure though!  Anyway.  If I ever became a history teacher IS IT POSSIBLE one day the class would walk into the room to find on the chalkboard AIM: HOW MANY POLES DID IT TAKE TO DIE IN WWII?  Probably not!  Because I wouldn't wanna lose my job!  I probably wouldn't lose my job from that.  But I might get some rightful pushback!  Artificial Intelligence Google says 5.5-6 Million!  Of which 3 Million were Jews.  Wow.  I've always heard 6 Million Jews died in the Holocaust.  I guess a full HALF OF EM were Poles!  I wonder if they were Dumb Jews.  Interesting to think about!  I guess we'll never know because They're Gone Now.  Ethnically Cleansed!  Also Polish people are not actually inferior.  Jewish, Not Jewish!  Shouldn't be Ethnically Cleansed!  I feel very strongly about this!
   Bought new marijuana yesterday!  OG Kush.  Sounds like a classical strain.  Tried it last night!  Went pretty good.  Gonna refrain from giving it a review until I try it once or twice more but I THINK I like it.  ANYWAY WHAT'S UP.  This entry sucks so far.  That makes sense. MY LIFE sucks so far.  That's okay!  TIME HAS COME TO START ANEW!  Great.  Here We GO.  Got a Micro Psychiatry Appointment tomorrow.  Not gonna tell her how I really feel!  It's really none of her business when you think about it!  Also, I don't know how I really feel.  I sometimes can accurately identify What I'm Thinking While I'm Thinking It but I can't really track the long term trends and whatknot of What Goes On In My Mind.  Let's just LET MY BRAIN BE.  It's not hurting anybody!  I stay out of it's way, it stays out of my way!  I dunno.  I think sometimes my brain IS ALL UP IN MY SHIT.  Hmm.  Even still.  Let's try to not engage with my brain at all!  I can only imagine bad coming of it!  Hmm.  What's going on in my brain right now.  I THINK it knows I'm talking about it right now.  NOT HAPPY WITH IT.
   Seventh paragraph.  At least I can identify Polish when I see it!  That's halfway there to understanding it I feel!  Hmm.  I wish I could believe that this entry was entertaining and clever despite being Terrible On Both Fronts.  MAYBE I'm just So Great that even when I'm bad I'm good!  I'D LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT.  SO I WILL.  Wow that's cool that I get to self delude like that.  IN SOME WAYS YES.  In other ways SELF DELUSION DOESN'T PAY OFF THAT WELL ULTIMATELY!  It'll do for now, though!  What else is going on!  This is just the start of the month!  I'm FEELING THINGS OUT.  Tomorrow will be a lot better most likely!  Alright!  Hmm.  Gotta write 3.5 more paragraphs NOW though.  Great.  What's going on in the wide world of sports.  The METS got a few weeks left of Regular Season.  They are competing for a Playoff Spot!  I wish them well!  Gotta imagine I'd watch some games if its the last game of the season with a playoff spot on the line or something!  OR if its IN the playoffs!  I don't watch the games at all this year but I follow the scores online sometimes.  SPORTS are important for some reason.  One day we might all collectively, at the same time, decide they're not important.  But NOT TODAY.
    Three paragraphs to go.  Just as entertaining as anything else.  Comedy or music or TV or movies.  Certainly could make as much a case for sports as any of that bullshit.  What if I were to tell you NONE OF THIS MATTERS.  Oh.  Then I'd say I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.  MOST OF US NEED TO BELIEVE IT ALL MATTERS.  I'm not making a good case for Everything Matters by writing A Website Entry That Doesn't Matter.  I'M PUTTING SHITTY SHIT OUT INTO THE WORLD.  ME.  Oh.  Sorry.  But it's only because I'M BUILDING UP TO BETTER.  Right?  Possibly!  Maybe.  Maybe not!  I guess we'll have to just Keep Reading To See!  GREAT.  What's so bad about heroin anyway.  Just let people do it!  So the guy does Heroin.  What's the big deal.  Some people don't do heroin, some people do do heroin.  31 Flavors Of Iced Cream!   Anyway.  I dunno.  I've probably done worse drugs than the regular ones that I'm totally conscious of.  Definitely smoked some Weed Spiked With SOMETHIN.  I dunno WHAT.  But there was SOMETHIN to it, this weed I was smoking for a Couple Month Period Of My Life a good while back!  Not heroin.  I'm leaning towards thinking it was a stimulant.  MAYBE CRACK.  Hard to say exactly!
    Penultimate paragraph.  Whatever it was, I felt like SHIT during periods of time I Wasn't Smoking It.  So there's that!  Anyway.  The point is I've led a charmed life!  Getting Bonuses!  Lucky Me!  I don't know.  It wasn't good in the end!  That was possibly the impetus for my mental illness!  That shit pushed me over the edge!  Anyway.  Keep thinking a little bit about returning to Tobacco Cigarettes.  It'd make my life better!  I WON'T do it because it's stupid.  But I'd be happier!  Sometimes life requires you to Be Stupid.  Either for yourself or for the Universe around you.  SO I DUNNO.  Let's See.  Entry, huh.  I can handle that!  I already did.  IT SUCKED but IT HAPPENED.  Great.  Is it possible YOU DON'T DESERVE a good entry?  And that's why I wrote poorly today? Here I thought I was doing incorrectly but it might be possible YOU'RE in the wrong!  That sounds pretty plausible.  I dunno.  Everyone deserves some light hearted laughs!  I dunno what anyone could have done to Not Earn This Website At Its Best.  Surely SOME people Do Wrong.  That's true.  But how can I PUNISH THEM and REWARD OTHERS at the same time.  Hmm that's a tough one.   
    Last paragraph!  Amazing.  I don't know anything about Jimi Hendrix's life!  I guess I'll start finding out about that Relatively Soon!  I know he died of a drug overdose when he was 27.  Presumably his death was a small fraction of his life!  Anyway.  I Like this author okay.  Who also wrote the Kraut Cobain boook.  I don't feel the strong personal connection I felt when I read Kathleen Hanna or Dave Grohl's or Some Others Autobiographies.  But I still get into the narrative of Kurt Cobain's life a good amount!  He paints an interesting picture of Kurt Cobain!  But it's more of AN OTHER as opposed to A RELATABLE.  Hmm.  I CAN RELATE TO OTHERS.  I MIGHT BE AN OTHER MYSELF.  Interesting.  Anyway.  What else is up.  Sometimes I feel like Man I Just Wrote The Shittiest Entry Of All Time Plus This Might Be The New Normal but then I realize I Feel Like That 1/6 Times And I Always Bounce Back.  So it's all good!  What else is up.  It's a Holiday!  In the words of The Clerks Guy I shouldn't even be here today!  Wonderful.   Uh oh.  1/6 Times?  JANUARY SIXTH?  Yep they're letting that guy run for president again!  He Might Win.  THE GUY WHO DID JANUARY SIXTH.  Lots of people in power are okay with him winning again!  NO WONDER PEOPLE GET THEIR NEWS FROM THIS WEBSITE.  No one gets their news from this website.  THEY WOULD IF THEY COULD.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-3:52 P.M. 
     
       

Contact: mankindguy@gmail.com