Thursday, November 28, 2024

Now's Not The Time For A Good Title

    I don't know. What's up!  It was raining a lot today so my brother decided to come over tomorrow for A Thanksgiving.  So I'm gonna write an entry Today!  Great.  I did some walking in the rain.  I don't see what the big deal is!  Then again I don't like stepping in puddles.  Not a fan!  Getting your feet all wet?  Thumbs down!  Anyway.  My parents don't want me signing up for Pilot Class.  Cause the guy is doing it independently of UCB.  They don't want me giving Credit Card Info to him!  I should be very weary of interacting with outside world in general is the point.  IT'S SCARY OUT THERE.  So now I don't know what I'm going to do!  Yes I've dealt with this person before and I trust him.  But I can't convey that properly to my Dad so I'm Stuck In A Losing Argument.  So, that's great!  I'm an adult man and it's my credit card, can't I just do what I want.  Do you wanna deal with My Dad in the aftermath of that then?  Cause you're welcome to!  COULD BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.  Maybe Pilot Class wasn't the best move for me anyway.  I should take Some Other Class, I dunno!  Great.
    Now what.  NINE more paragraphs!  Oh okay I get it.  Lost enthusiasm for going into teaching.  I don't think I could handle that much work!  You have like 150 students each Semester.  Do you remember DOING high school and having to do 7 class homeworks each day.  I'd have to GRADE 150 HOMEWORKS each day.  I CAN'T DO THAT.  What if I just assigned readings and no homework.  That's a perk of Teaching English Class.  DO THE READING. WELL OKAY THAT'S GOOD but I still don't feel like Teaching Is Easy Enough for me to be capable.  Maybe I'll change my mind.  Also I DON'T GET BOOKS.  How am I supposed to be The Book Expert.  Fake It Till You Make It.  That's not FAIR to the kids.  They're idiots they won't notice.  They can tell.  Might not really give a fuck, though!  In fact I think most kids prefer classes where Teacher Is Only Mediocre-ing It because those classes tend to be easier and less work intensive.  So I'm contributing to society by being a bad teacher.  That's what Cameron Diaz said when she mulled over her options after being offered a certain script in 2010.
    Anyway.  My Dad said he took me to some sort of Thanksgiving parade when I was very young but I don't believe it.  That doesn't sound like me!  What I did when I was Very Young has no relation to Me Being Like Me.  I had no control over it!  I WAS VERY YOUNG.  Not in my control Where I Went And What I Did.  Anyway.  Each Thanksgiving we should give American Indians a little bit of the country back.  Not sure what the current value is exactly.  Could be not worth really as much as it was in the past.  They might not be that interested in it at this point!  Sure.  Great.  Only 25% into the entry.  What topics are left to talk about.  SPORTS.  How about football this year. Some teams doing well, some teams not so much!  If you're a fan of the teams doing well Good On You but your luck can change just like that!   Basketball.  I don't know for sure if it's basketball season!  Hockey.  I don't talk about Hockey.  I don't approve of what they do with the sticks.  Sports shouldn't involve sticks!  What about Stickball.  I like stickball because it includes BOTH KEY COMPONENTS of the sport in the compound word name.  Stick AND ball!  Covers all the bases!
   Okay.  This is the worst entry that ever exists currently right now as we speak.  Everyone else is relaxing eating their nice Thanksgiving Turkey and Stuffing.  Meanwhile I'm stuck at the office writing Entry.  Ah well.  It's for a good cause.  Starving Blind Children in a wartorn nation, right?  Something like that.  They get to read this?  How does that work.  They're blind.  Someone reads it to them.  That's not necessarily how this website is meant to be taken in.  But OK.  WHY would people go to a parade.  HEY THERE'S ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE OR FLOAT.... AND HEY THERE'S ANOTHER!  Seems redundant.  I'd get bored pretty quickly!  What if parades are really about the parade's chance to Size Up The People In The Crowd.  Then everyone is getting something out of the deal I guess.  Audience and Marchers are two sides of the same coin.  Who's to say which group is really moving and which one is standing still!
    Alright.  I wonder what I'll say next!  One thing's for sure-- I put on my sweatshirt jacket about a paragraph ago.  Time makes strangers of us all.  I don't ever wanna be AT a parade or IN a parade.  NO THANK YOU.  Not my scene!  What if I was paid FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS.  Then I'd probably do it!  Depending on the parade and the specificity of my involvement!  Anyway.  I doubt that will ever happen.  Unless I become some sort of Marvel Super Hero at some point.  Then they might shell out the big bucks to put me in a parade!  Otherwise probably won't happen!  What if I was a DC Super Hero.  That'd work too.  What if I was a Super Hero from a different Comic Book Universe.  What if I didn't come out of a Comic Book AT ALL?  I Don't Know What That Means.  I re-watched Unbreakable a week or two ago. Should I re-watch Glass soon?  The answer is probably Yes.  Wait.  No.  The answer is Probably Yes.  Anyway.  I like speaking with the cadence of humor.  It makes you think EVERYTHING is potentially funny!
    Works for me!  Halfway through the entry!  I thought Bad Teacher was an OKAY movie.  Could have been Better.  Could have been worse!  They could have called it OKAY Teacher how okay it was!  Signed, Roger Ebert III.  That's if Roger Ebert III was trying to get into the family business but he doesn't quite have the talent or work ethic.  When Critics need to be criticized, WHO WILL CRITIC THE CRITICS?  I dunno ME?  I GUESS?  I'd like to apply for that job I think!  SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING I CAN WORK ON.  Anyway.  Four and a half paragraphs to go.  I gotta work on music this weekend.  I think I have enough elements to Write One Song at least.  Why not.  I think I'm putting the pieces of one or two songs together in my head Now That I Think About It.  Wasn't really thinking about it consciously before.  Great.  I'm stuck with a couple of shitty songs now.  Forever!  They might not be so bad ultimately.  Great!
   Four paragraphs.  Re-watched Adaptation a week or two ago.  When I was a teenager I identified that as being my favorite movie.  I LIKE IT A LOT.  IT'S A GOOD ONE.  Let's all get together and watch it one night.  That's not feasible.  Oh.  Anyway.  WELL WHAT ELSE IS GOIN ON.  I don't think I've ever seen Being John Malcovich.  Not the entire thing!  I bet I do one day, though!  Seems like something I would do.  This might come up later in your lives.  We might have to watch Being John Malcovich together in the future.  It's important we prepare for this now!  Anyway.  I think I saw the movie once now that I think about it.  I can kind of picture being there for the Beginning, Middle, AND Ending.  So there goes the entire premise to that story.  Should I watch it again because it's a high quality movie?  Probably!  But it's not entirely necessary!  What is necessary to watch.  I have no idea.  I was hoping you'd tell me!
   Eighth paragraph.  Only three paragraphs to go!  That's not so bad.  I'm picking up an image of Mr. Miyagi.  Are you trying to tell me it's necessary to watch The Karate Kid?  Cause I've tried that in the past!  I've watched it plenty of times!  It worked out okay I guess but I STILL AM HERE, NONE THE BETTER FOR IT.  HE'S supposed to make us into Enlightened Karate Supersoldiers!  I still feel like the same dolt I was yesterday.  Anyway.  I don't think I'm gonna watch a Mr. Miyagi movie!  Gimme another image please!  OF A MOVIE PLEASE.  This isn't working.  My mind is Out Of Order.  Two and a half paragraphs to go.  GREAT just got another mental image but this one is also from The Karate Kid so NOT VERY HELPFUL.  New movies please!  I just thought of an interesting one.  But now I don't like the idea of it anymore.  I guess I'll try to think of similar ones to that one.  No.  Those aren't good ideas either.  One day I'll think of what to watch tonight.  I hope I figure it out soon cause the CLOCK IS TICKING.
    Penultimate paragraph!  Staring at a dark blank page.  Why can't I write black font on a white background like everyone else.  I dunno.  I made my choice and I stand by it!  NOW I need to make a choice of What To Watch Tonight and stand by that.  Can I watch Stand By Me?  Sure.  I can watch ALL the Standing movies.  Can I watch The Shining.  The Shhhh'ing.  I've seen The Shining enough times that none of it scares me at all, BUT if I was suddenly IN The Shining I bet I'd be pretty scared all over again!  Probably even moreso!  Well obviously I can watch Pet Cemetary tonight if it's available to me.  I or II.  WOW.  I or II makes me think about Distortion Pedals.  I had A Distortion Pedal which had two settings.  I or II!  I was more standard, II was a bit heavier.  Or fuzzier.  Or Turbo Charged.  Or Distorted.  I think I spent most of my time at II.  That's music for ya.  I DISTORTED EVERYTHING.  I don't play songs regular and then distort choruses or soloes or something.  I would just always have distort on!  Back when I PLAYED GUITAR.
    LAST PARAGRAPH.  And then we can all go to our respective homes and watch Thirt13n Ghosts!  I dunno.  House On Haunted Hill was my original thought.  And I'm still waiting to get to The Accurate Idea.  A Horror Movie from the turn of the century seems to be where my heart is at, though!  I NEED A NEW HEART.  This one's idiosyncrasies are peculiar.  Is that what We Do With Our Organs?  When they suggest movies we don't like WE JUST THROW THEM AWAY?  I dunno.  That's not the point.  I like my Haert.  It works perfectly.  Except for it didn't autocorrect when I typo'd.  Also when I was younger I had Heart Murmur.  Lasted a year or two.  I think it was pretty benign.  I'm all better now, at least!  Heart figured itself out!  So that's good I guess.  GREAT EVEN.  Now I know I'll never have any heart problems!  How do I know New Problems won't start.  How does anyone know anything!  THEY DON'T IT'S A SERIOUS PROBLEM. Huh.  Anyway.  That's it for today.  I'll see ya next week!

-5:06 P.M.
             
  
       
   
     

Wednesday, November 27, 2024

This Will Be A Nice Break From My Busy Day

    What bullshit.  Hi!  Should be the last entry of the week on account of Thanksgiving Thursday.  I HONUR our Thanksgiving Forefathers!  They didn't free our homeland from Wild Turkeys for me to disrespect them by DOING MY JOB!  Founding Forefathers would want me to take a break.  Anyway.  Had a Doctor Appointment this morning.  Everything went okay.  EKG was fun.  Weigh In went okay.  Liked it when Doctor felt up my abdomen for his routine check up.  I'm a real ticklish person!  I got lots of laughs out of the ordeal.  Lucky me.  I'm THREE OR FOUR pounds heavier than 2 months ago?  I'M NOT SURPRISED.  I think we are all carrying a lot more weight than 2 months ago!  Themes.  Do I mean that in a literal sense?  We've all been eating a lot?  NO.  Do I mean that in a figurative sense?  We've all been holding onto a burden of some sort?  YES.  That's how I feel at least!  I dunno about everyone else.  I can barely speak for myself competently.  I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THAT GUY YOU CALL HIM REFERRING TO ME.
    WHAT A THESIS STATEMENT.  CHECK PLUS.  Gonna move on to the next person's assignment.  Huh.  NINE more paragraphs.  Now what will I write about.  I think I'm gonna take another Pilot Writing Class in January.  I wonder what the topic of my pilot will be.  It could be practically anything except for one thing which is the thing that I already tried and didn't work.  I could try approaching it from a different angle.  WHAT 135 DEGREES?  You and your angles.  It's always an angle with you!  NO, Not 135 Degrees... FOURTY FIVE DEGREES.  Wow.  That's a nice degrees.  Yup.  This entry is taking forever.  Also I stopped paying attention to what I was saying.  Let some substitute in.  Not PRIMARY MICHAEL.  Some sort of back-up player!  Primary Michael hardly ever shows up lately.  I haven't seen him in a while.  Great!  I wish him the best.  Also, to show up more often.  IT'S HARD FOR HIM.  He doesn't like to leave his Special Area.  Between Dimensions.
   No dimension would have him!  Sad story.  HE MAKE DO.  Anyway.  Eight paragraphs to go now.  How can I make this funny and also over.  Just write it and figure the universe will provide for me as long as I'm RIGHTEOUS enough.  CLASSIC.  Might work.  Couldn't hurt to try!  Unless putting faith in that philosophy blocks me from employing a Better, Truer Faith.  Oh.  That Hurts Then.  I dunno.  Who cares about Philosophies and Faiths.  ONE TASK AT A TIME.  Right now I'm staring down The Dark Endless Nothingness of Crazysheet Website.  I like my philosophies like I like my faiths-- ONE TASK AT A TIME.  That's life.  Makes sense to me.  I don't ENDORSE it.  But it's probably true.  SO WHAT.  Half of the tasks are fun and the other half are productive.  And the third half you get to get other people to do for you.  Sounds like a wonderful system.  It's something alright.
     Fourth Paragraph!  I've got to write a GOOD paragraph now.  Entertaining Yes but more importantly I must DO GOOD DEEDS with it.  I KNOW.  I'LL LEGALIZE LEGALIZATION.  That's dumb.  NO MORE MAILBOXES.  That doesn't help people.  EVERYONE GETS DE-ODORANT UNDER THEIR CHAIRS.  Anyway.  I haven't used de-odorant since the last time I used de-odorant.  I'm gonna say Seventeen Years Ago.  Seventeen Going On Seventeen, a movie where a guy meets himself from The Same Age he is now to help him live his life.  No.  Seventeen Still?  No to the entire concept.  Oh okay.  Now I have to come up with a new concept.  The mark on my back probably isn't anything to worry about!  WHEW.  Just a dried up cyst!  Devoid of the pus it once held!  Got some red mark acne on my back, too!  Hasn't been bothering me either.  Don't like seeing it in the mirror, though!  Or if I can successfully look at my back by twisting my head around.  I DID IT ONCE WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING.  I SWEAR.
    Fifth paragraph.  So that's good.  Thanksgiving is tomorrow.  I hope I appreciate it!  IT COULD BE OUR LAST THANKSGIVING OF 2024.  It's been quite the year.  We started off by... there was the snow... I think... MUSTA BEEN AT ONE POINT... January... and Here We Are!  I read some books.  Did some writing.  That's what I came close to registering!  Anyway.  Next year is a blank slate I think.  Gonna try some fresh approaches to writing.  Cause this year hasn't been working out for me completely!  SURE IT'S FINE AS A ONE OFF.  But I wouldn't wanna do it EVERY year.  The foundations I built on the website This Year will lead me into a better 2025.  GREAT.  MAKES SENSE.  I should be making Personal Progress!  2025 is a SCARY YEAR because of THE PROJECT they may be trying to be implementing but for ME PERSONALLY I could have a good 2025!  EVEN WHILE OTHERS SUFFER ATROCITIES AND ARE SUBJECTED TO HORRORS.  I might live in comfort and safety!  Ooh that sounds like a FAUSTIAN bargain if I ever heard one.  Well not really because it's not MY FAULT other people are suffering.  Right?  RIGHT? 
   Oh.  Maybe.  Interesting.  Halfway Through The Entry!  I'm responsible for lots of suffering!  Sure!  Makes sense.  That, "Tracks."  Maybe I'm good for some good though, too!  Let's keep going with the entry as if I was Making Great right now.  Just for pretend.  Anyway.  I wonder what will happen in the rest of the entry.  RIGHT NOW I'm not in a Good Mood.  All that talk about Negative Things.  It made me feel Less Positive!  That's okay.  I know how to get back in the swing of things.   BUT FIRST I gotta go use the bathroom.  Okay.  New Topic.  Bathroom: Fact Or Fiction.   FACT.  I did go to the bathroom.  Fact or Fiction: I will binge watch Fact Or Fictions now that I think about it if they're available to me.  FICTION.  I would think about it and then decide against it.  FACT OR FICTION: DID I TRY DRINKING A BEER WITHOUT OPENING IT FIRST.  FACT.  I DID JUST NOW.  Fact Or Fiction: AND THIS ONE IS FOR ALL THE POINTS IN THE WORLD... What am I gonna write about for Pilot.  FACT.  WAIT NO FICTION.  Fiction.  NO I SHOULD WRITE FACT.  YOU WERE RIGHT.  Oh okay.
   Seventh paragraph.  I don't know enough facts to write an entire Pilot Of Fact.  Thirty pages of Fact?  What am I AN ENCYCLOPEDIA?  Better lean into Fiction.  I can make up a story like it was nothing.  As long as it doesn't really exceed nothing.  THEN I START TO GET CONFUSED.  I'm starting to get the sense I'm not quite the Master Of Narrative I've made myself out to be.  Huh.  Lots of paragraphs left to write.  It should be relatively okay.  I just write stupid things and they exist well enough that we all gotta just DEAL WITH IT.  And we shouldn't have to.  BUT WE'RE ALL HERE.  MIGHT AS WELL APPRECIATE THIS NONSENSE.  I dunno why you'd come here just to not enjoy it!  Even if the writing sucks, you're gonna wanna TRY to like it while you're here, right?  NO.  I'm here because I have to be here.  I don't want to have a good time.  OK.  MIND IF I JOIN YA?  Yes.  I'm not having a good time alone.  WELL GOTTA GET BACK TO IT.  Three more paragraphs to go.
    I KNOW WHAT TO WATCH, AMISTAD.  Wonder if that's available anywhere.  I might need to buy a new TV one day.  Current one has weird shadows.  A new house for the TV would help me see the TV better, too.  Maybe just a new life to play it completely safe.  I DUNNO.  Bad news guys.  Stuck with the TV, house, and life I STARTED OUT WITH!  Boo hisss Baaa.  It's not all bad!  All three things work at near optimal conditions!  WELL, my life is operating at around 60%.  But my TV IS REALLY FINE.  House, it is what it is!  No complaints at the current moment!  Floors work.  Walls.  Stairs.  House really performing all its duties really well.  Anyway.  I like how the second story fits in snugly above the first floor.  I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't like it when my TV Feels Old.  I should only watch new programs then!  If it was made before 2020 IT DON'T GO ON MY TV SCREEN.  IT'LL BE ALL TIK TOKS THEN.  People dancing to the latest craze Pop Music Song.  They still make pop music right.  I would if I were them!
   Penultimate paragraph!  Only two more paragraphs to go!  Then I got some freedom.  I listened to Freedom by Beyonce today and it was okay.  Will she ever get her Freedom?  Probably already has for the most part.  That's good for Beyonce but what of the rest of us!  Freedom is Constant Struggle we all go through!  Oh okay thanks!  Sure!  I keep saying things, you keep reading them!  The equation will continue to repeat itself!  ANYWAY I dunno.  Birthday is coming up in two weeks.  Turning the Big 36!  Good Ol Three Dozen.  I dunno.  Seems like I'm Tired Of Life.  But the surprise party you're cooking up for me will certainly lift my spirits!  The Ice Cream Cake.  The Party Favors.  The Your Parents There For Safety.  It's gonna be a lot of fun.  WHEN WE SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAN WE DO IT IN A MINOR KEY.  I don't know.  Can we?  I don't know if that's musically possible.  Minor Key means sad.  Just Be SAD when you sing it.  It's easy!  You have two weeks to prepare.
   Ok.  That's a lot of fun for people.  One more paragraph to go.  I should watch some sort of movie tonight.  A GOOD ONE.  Oh so like something from the 1990's.  Sounds like that, yeah!  I don't understand anything after 2002.  Just doesn't make sense to me!  Maybe some people can relate!  Hmm.  Probably people out there that can relate to anything.  Wow!  I feel better already!  Now what should I feel bad about instead.  Nah I'll let myself Feel Okay For Now.  IT'S A LOT OF FUN TO FEEL OKAY.  That's a good song title if I were a Children's Musician.  Hmm.  Okay.  What kind of musician I am.  CRAPKIND.  Hmm.  Anyway.  Been feeling lungs contracting or something lately as if I were still a smoker.  Probably because for a couple of days I was THINKING LIKE A SMOKER.  Imagining smoking.  Activated the smoking cavities in my lungs!  The body works in mysterious ways.  That wasn't that mysterious.  I just figured it out easily!  Whose to say if I'm right or wrong though.  OH.  THAT.  I DON'T KNOW IF I'M RIGHT OR WRONG.  Ah well.  See ya next week presumably!

-5:30 P.M.   
            

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

You're Still Reading The Title

    No I'm not.  Oh Great.  Anyway, hey!  Tuesday Entry!  I don't know what I'm going to say yet!  Could be of relatively decent quality!  Wouldn't put my money on that though.  Am I being forced to gamble.   Cause if it's a choice, I would probably just refrain!  That's dumb.  I'm writing the entry myself.  I'VE GOT A HUGE, "IN," TO CREATE THE QUALITY ENTRY I WANT AND THEN BET IT'S THE SAME RIGHT QUALITY ENTRY THAT IT WILL BE AND THEN I MAKE A TON OF MONEY.  However I can't accurately PREDICT how good the entry will ultimately be.  I can't just say I'm gonna write a six out of ten entry AND THEN DO IT.  I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING!!!  Oh that's not fun.  Probably should refrain from gambling then.  What are some other fun activities.  Hmm.  I dunno.  I like doing things with my five senses.  All of em.  Thinking... wait THINKING AIN'T A SENSE.  Maybe it's The Sixth Sense.  NO that Sixth Sense is being able to see ghosts.  AS PER HOLLYWOOD.  I hate that sense.  I like the ninth sense and the seventh senses a lot more. 
    Sure!  Numbers!  Don't they really make ya think.  Probably not.  They stand for things.  Why would that make me think.  I don't know.  I MUST THINK ABOUT SOMETHING.  Wonderful.  Where are other people?  I've been talking to myself for a long time.  Every now and then I feel the urge to Talk To A Different Person.  I KNOW WHERE OTHER PEOPLE ARE.  THEY LIVE IN TUBES AND CAVES AND ANSWERBOARDS AND CRAP.  Anyway.  MOVEMENTS.  I LIVE IN MOVEMENT.  From here to there to everywhere.  Up and down and all around.  LEFT TO RIGHT TO OUT OF SIGHT.  ALL ABOUT THE MOVEMENT TONIGHT.  What the Hell.  I'm not having a good time man.  It's okay.  Watched The Cable Guy yesterday.  I enjoyed it I guess.  That one guy sure liked giving that other guy cable!  I really got the impression that one of them was a cable guy and the other one needed the services of a cable guy.  I wanted there to be more cables in it.
    OK.  Anything interesting going on in my mind?  YEAH.  Been looking at the figures... ready to place a bet on the entry.  Gonna go with FIVE POINT FIVE.  Think it's gonna be a 5.5/10!  AND I'M LAYING IT ALL ON THE LINE.  I'm betting everything I own!  ALL OF IT.  Anyway let's move on.  I should give myself a chance to back out and Not Bet Everything I Own?  SEEMS LIKE THAT'S A SUCKER'S BET.  OKAY How about Five Dollars.  I FIND THAT A LOT MORE REASONABLE.  NO Not THAT Five Dollar Bill.  The one you were just thinking about.  A DIFFERENT Five Dollars Bill.  ALL OF THEM IN CIRCULATION ARE EQUAL TENDER.  THEY ARE ALL WORTH EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT.  NONE IS MORE WORTHY.  Huh.  I don't get it.  Anyway.  I hope rating as a 5 or 6 at the end of the entry counts as a win for me.  Cause otherwise choosing to rate myself as a number ending in .5 could potentially doom me come Reckoning Time!
    Awesome.  Maybe change it to six, then.  Alright.  Changing it to Six!  Six is an Evil Number.  That's okay it's only temporarily I'm associated with Six.  Won't be forever!  PROBABLY NOT.  I'll wanna go up to seven one day or drop back down to five.  Anyway.  Getting close to finishing Parks & Recreation.  Then my life will be a lot different with a different TV Show Anchor.  Due for a Good Turn I think.  That's unlikely!  Also UNTRUE.  WHY SHOULD I BE HAPPY is the universe's official position I think.  Anyway.  Universe Is Wrong.  DEAD WRONG.  ALRIGHT THEN.  I dunno what I'm doing with my life lately.  DO YOU?  Wait no You Wouldn't Know.  WELL You could but it's not your business to tell me.  THEN AGAIN SOME CLUES WOULD BE NICE.  Anyway.  Might watch a documentary tonight.  Just in one of those moods to feel like watching a documentary later right now!  Can't quite shake it.  HOLD UP I just read Six is an Evil Number and it made me think of Horror Movies and actually I think I might watch a horror movie now.  I'm Scared Already!
   KINDA SEXY TOO THOUGH.  How do you mean.  I can't pinpoint it!  I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I BELIEVE IT.  But life goes on!  Gotta get up early tomorrow morning for General Physician's Appointment.  I don't wanna do that!  I wanna be told I'm healthy ON ZOOM or something, I don't wanna have to show up in person!  I'VE GOT PLACES NOT TO GO AND PEOPLE NOT TO BE.  I'm A Very Busy Man!  Yeah!  Anyway.  Fifth paragraph.  What's Fifth Base with a girl.  When you have sex with her entire family.  Oh.  Not sure I approve of that!  But it does make sense from a Heightening Perspective.  LETS JUST HOPE IT NEVER COMES TO THAT.  IT WILL.  Sorry.  Anyway.  Got a lot of entry left to go!  And I'm almost done with my iced coffee!  Hmm.  Not sure there's much of a story there.  Whatever it was, it happened, and we're all the better for it, but now it's time to move on.
    Halfway through the entry!  We are NOT all the better for it!  I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY ICED COFFEE.  I wanted to drink more of it!  Not run out!  Now I have to drink something dumb like SODA or NOTHING.  THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY.  Wait right there.  I'm gonna go get us a better way!  OK HEAR ME OUT SODA BUT DON'T BOTHER TRYING TO APPRECIATE IT JUST MAKE IT BACKGROUND NOISE.  Live your life.  You're Drinking YOUR LIFE.  You just happen to have soda in the background.  Cool!  I've at times liked my life!  I'll drink to that!   Good then.  AND IF I COME ACROSS AN ICED COFFEE I LIKE IN THE FUTURE THAT I WANT I CAN GET THAT.  Sure.  Future is wide open.  THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LIE.  Anyway.  I don't know what will happen!  No documentaries about the future!  Not yet there aren't!  ANYWAY are any of these songs I'm working on any good.  No.  Not so far.  What I got is pretty shitty musically and lyrically.  BUT they might come together to be like, "Hmm, that sounds interesting!"  About a 1/3 chance that happens!
   FOUR paragraphs to go.  I DON'T LIKE those odds.  Hmm.  When was the last time I had a True Friend.  I don't think it was in the 2010's!  I think it was the 2000's!  I'm gonna be honest with ya!  I am very far removed from humanity!  I'm assuming people still enter friendships these days.  So that's good.  If you're here right now You're A Potential Friend.  I'm calling it right now!  WHY NOT.  YOU YES YOU.  You don't want that.  Interesting counterpoint!  You can sign up for Friendships on many different tiers!  Very customizable!  We're here to fit your needs!  Anyway.  I'm not gonna be signing up new friends.  WE'RE IN A DOWNWARD TREND RIGHT NOW.  Everyone is LEAVING the website these days.  Ever since that horrible thing I did.  What did I do.  I forget.  It was really bad, though!   NOT only do I forget, I don't think I Ever Really Knew!  WHAT DID I DO.  Hmm.  I don't think I'm gonna dignify myself with an answer!  ON account of I Don't Know.
   Eighth paragraph.  Thinking about buying a new musical keyboard.  That would contribute to my music!  I'm not very skilled at piano but I can play it better than 85% of people who can't play it.  VERY musically inclined.  I'm a gifted son of a gun!  Play one note after another and everything.  IT WORKS OUT.  Play the black keys.  Play the white stripes.  Try pressing down on the plastic itself around the keys and see if that does anything.  Anyway.  Two and a half paragraphs to go!  NOT looking forward to the rest of the day as of now!  THEN AGAIN I just smoked a tiny bit so maybe now I'll think more positive.  That's not been a clear correlation in the past but maybe now it will be.  Awesome!  Two and a half more paragraphs... still!  Am I on track for a SIX OUT OF TEN?  Sure.  If you're on track for feeling like Giving Out A Six Out Of Ten!  REALLY THIS WHOLE TIME IT'S BEEN ON YOU.  I was gonna write SHIT no matter what.  YOU MUST RATE IT AS A SIX OUT OF TEN AS PER OUR STANDING DEAL or not!  YOUR CHOICE.  JUST REMEMBER I can be very persuasive If I Don't Get What I Want.
    Penultimate paragraph.  I'd give it a Six So Far.  Don't know what else to give it!  How about a four.  Shut up.  Started re-watching EXTRAS.  Don't appreciate it so much this time around!  Traditionally it's one of my favorite television programmes!  I dunno!  I guess I like it for reasons I haven't in the past!  Get into to it from different angles!  LIKE WHAT.  I dunno.  Some of the jokes I still find funny but I just get into the grooves of them in different pockets.  TV SHOWS ARE GREAT HUH.  Really help me get through the day.  WHICH DAY.  ALL OF EM!  One day I'll have to live a life based on its own merit.  Not based on what's going on on the Television.  WOW.  THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.  HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK.  I dunno.  What if your life was itself involved in Television.  WELL THAT'D BE THE DREAM THEN HUH.  What an idiot.  Maybe I pick up pizza for dinner tonight.  It feels like DOING something as opposed to just Eating Something.  So that's good.  Gonna have to think about toppings, though.  Pepperoni isn't necessarily the way to go!
   Last paragraph.  Oh.  Okay.  Sorry.  I didn't MEAN to write the last nine paragraphs!  JUST SORTA HAPPENED.  And if I did mean to write them I CERTAINLY INTENDED for them to be more decent!  These are the cards we've been dealt.  HI!  Well, okay, fine, Hello!  Started watching The Hobbit.  Not sure why The Wizard Gandolf doesn't use his powers more.  As far as I can tell he's got all these powers and all he ever does is make fake fireworks once in a while.  OK GOOD.  Better than you can do!  He's also really tall.  Compared to hobbit.  THAT'S A POWER.  Good.  Got a Stick he carries with him!  I ASSUME the stick gives him strength to perform tricks!  DON'T KNOW WHAT though.  Anyway.  I THINK GANDOLF NEEDS TO DO MORE.  Just one hobbit's opinion.  I find it easy to identify with Hobbit on account of being short.  Do normal height people feel comfortable identifying with hobbit?  I'D BE INTERESTED IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND/OR FEELINGS.  Not that much but a little bit!  Anyway.  See ya!

-5:21 P.M.                    

Monday, November 25, 2024

Write Things You'd Want To Remember

    Hi friends.  How was everyone's Week Off From Me?  I had a great time.  Almost forgot I Existed!  Spent some time working on music.  A good amount of random lyrics, a small amount of guitarring, a fair amount of MindWork Getting Into HeadSpace of Being A Musician.  All in all I'll have some sort of shitty project out by the end of the year!  I WATCHED a lot of TV.  I WENT to see THE MOVIE everyone's talking about GLADIIATOR.  It was okay.  Kinda tuned out for most of it.  I WAS NEVER RAISED TO FIGHT IN COLISEUM so how can I possible relate to any of this?  Simply no shared experience.  Must have been Cut Scenes or Transitions or something I felt I related to.  The part where it star wiped from an exterior shot of the city into the hero tossing and turning in his bed.  THAT PART THAT NEVER HAPPENED.  I related to that!  Re-watched Fight Club a few days ago on Television.  Again, I was never raised To Be In Fights All The time.  I don't relate to it!  WHY DO THIS.  I guess I'm A Poor Man or something.  Something wrong with me.  I don't see the appeal.  Unless it's SEX FIGHTS, sure.  But I only wanna do that with people I'm sexually attracted to.  Which really almost always tends not to be men!  I don't WANNA fight OR sex fight with any of you male folks!  Okay what should we do instead.  I DUNNO READ ANYTHING GOOD LATELY? 
     I haven't read anything lately but I'm thinking about getting into The New Classics.  We're talking 20th century.  Possibly even 21st century though I'm not convinced there's many new New Classics.  Anyway.  Got an electronic mail from Pilot Class teacher saying he's starting new Pilot Classes in January.  Pretty much same class as the class I already took.  I DUNNO if I should sign up or not!  I don't have any new ideas for pilots!  I could write a completely new version of The New Monkees!  But as of now I have no enthusiasm for that.  BUT I DO WANT TO DO SOMETHING.  It's possible my life is still headed somewhere.  I'm not 100% confident the world will survive long enough for My Life To Pan Out Completely but IT MIGHT.  Gotta keep putting my best foot forward.  Which is my best foot.  Probably left!  I'm left handed.  Also got permanent lifelong fungus on two toenails on my right foot.  ANOTHER POINT in favor of my left foot.  Trying to imagine walking.  I think I probably take my first step with right foot.  What a Conformist.  Let me act it out.  Let's See.  NOPE I DO LEFT FOOT FIRST.  Wonder if that has any sort of impact on any sort of anything.
    Sweet!  Half a gummy doesn't do much for me anymore!  I get a a four out of ten body high and a two out of ten mind high!  Not happy about it.  What else is good.  Gotta see general physician check-up doctor this Wednesday.  OUTSTANDING.  I'm gonna see if everything is okay!  Got some sort of mark on my back.  I don't think it's anything.  A pimple or something.  My DAD is concerned.  Maybe this doctor will have some sort of input!  What kind of cancer could it be.  Spine cancer?  I don't know if that's a thing!  You can get cancer OF ANYTHING.  I don't think that's true!  What is the exact Definition of Cancer.  Uncontrolled division of abnormal cells.  Sure.  That can pop up anywhere in the world.  WHOSE TO SAY HUMANITY ITSELF ISN'T A CANCER.  Me.  We're not ABNORMAL cells.  Pretty normal all in all.  Also most of us don't know how to do division.  We master it in FIFTH grade.  THAT'S BEYOND MY CAPABILITY.  Also our division IS controlled.  I CAN'T SAY HOW.  IT'S A CONSPIRACY AFOOT.  I SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT IT.
     Fourth paragraph!  "CAN SIR?"  NEVER.  I won't give that Third Party Person the satisfaction of calling them, "Sir!"  Well I guess it depends on who they are.  I'll call plenty of people Sir.  Some people have earned it.  Or deserve it innately.  Some people don't and are jerks!  Anyway.  SIR is an antiquated title.  We don't need it in 2024!  I don't need to be calling ANYONE sir and I don't be needing to be called Sir!  We don't need The Rank Of Sir.  What is this an aristocracy?  I don't remember agreeing to that.  It'd be pretty stupid on my part.  Then again I do nothing but stupid things over and over.  So it wouldn't SHOCK ME if I agreed to something that was against my interests.  WHY would I assume I have any sort of agency in my life.  THAT'S A BIZARRE WAY TO LOOK AT THE WORLD.  I'm writing songs.  I get to choose every little thing that goes into it.  WRONG.  I'm being led by an invisible hand to a pre-ordained ultimate conclusion!  Oh.  GREAT.  WHATEVER KEEPS YA UP AT NIGHT. 
    Alright.  Watched some other movies over the past week and a half!  I don't believe I'll be able to go into all of them!  High Fidelity!  I can't relate to that on the surface.  Guy whining about all his past girlfriends.  LOOK SOME OF US HAVE NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND.  Well, ONE OF US at least.  It's possible LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE has had a girlfriend.  But I HAVEN'T so let's think before we speak!  Someone might be feeling sensitive and vulnerable!  It's still an okay movie.  Not GREAT.  Better than EMPIRE RECORDS which I saw for the first time a week or two ago.  Not sure what the point of that movie was.  It was about how Empire Records was gonna buy this other record store but FIRST we have to see A Day In The Life of The Record Store.  Oh.  Okay.  I Don't Know Why.  Nothing ever happened.  I'll tell yuo what happened, Renee Zellweger and Ethan Empry happened.  Seperately.  They never happened TOGETHER.  But you get the idea.  Also other actors.  Mostly teenagers.  That sort of thing.  Is this entry worth anything.  Yeah!  It's worth the paper it's printed on!  Oh okay very good.
   Halfway through the entry!  Gonna be skipping Christmas With Relatives this year.  Good!  Gonna have brother over for Thanksgiving this week, thuogh.  Good!  WILL I SEE WICKET PART I this week?  Probably!  Not sure what the theme of this movie is.  My guess is ACCEPTANCE.  We gotta learn to ACCEPT THINGS and probably PEOPLE.  Good.  Looking forward to it!  Not really!  But it should be okay!  What's the last classical musical I liked.  Gonna have to Consult A List.  My Mind Isn't GOOD ENOUGH without AIDS.  HMM. I  DON'T SEE ANYTHING I LIKE AND I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING I SEE.  The list included School Of Rock which I watched half of JUST LAST NIGHT and that's one of my top ten favorite movies EVEN IF I DIDN'T LIKE IT LAST NIGHT so I guess we'll go with that!  Movie is twenty years old at this point.  Which would make the kids in that movie THIRTY years old.  FREAKS.  ADULTOIDS.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE.  Nothing is wrong with them.  They just continued growing even after the cameras stopped filming.  Leave em alone. 
    Sure!  I dunno.  What else is going on.  Really not much!  Life is what it is.  RIGHT NOW IT AIN'T MUCH.  Ah, well!  There's still good stuff out there to be happy about.  For example THE SUN.  PROVIDES US HEAT AND LIGHT.  THE OCEANS.  GIVES US TIDES.  I like the Sky.  Something to look at.  I don't look at The Sky nearly enough.  LOOK AT IT NOW WHILE YOU CAN.  CAUSE IT WON'T ALWAYS BE THERE!  I may be misunderstanding how global warming works.  Or I may be understanding it TOO HARD.  Pitbull should release an album called GLOBAL WARNING.  WHAT?  HE DID?  THIS IS GREAT!  Wait a second, his album is called Global Warming.  I thought it was a pun title.  Global Warning.  Good thing I never listened to the album.  Otherwise me getting it wrong would have come into play.  AS IT IS I've only listened to single tracks.  SO it doesn't matter That Much!  Hmm.  Denzel Washington was pretty good in Gladiator II but I wasn't blown away.  I like his regular performances of his more than this one!  I DID appreciate that one of the Twin Emperors was Short though.  Yeah he was an asshole though.  Oh.  Whatever.
    Today has sucked so far!  I'm still devoting headspace to music!  Not fully committing to the website!  I'm not GOOD ENOUGH to do a GOOD JOB without FULLY COMMITTING.  The good news is I'm trying to accomplish nothing.  So that's pretty easy to achieve!  ALREADY DONE.  Nothing.  That's what I started out with!  Anyway.  It's annoying to write this.  I can only imagine it's annoying to read this.  Probably annoying all the way around!  Gotta relate to thousands of different people.  Hundreds.  SEVERAL.  Whatever.  I can't say how many unique individuals have read this website!  AND ALL OF THEM have to relate The Thousands Of Different People That Is Me.  Dozens.  Three.  Two Hundred Million.  I don't know how many people you imagine read this.  Either way who gives a shit.  I guess I gotta do something.  Sign up for some sort of class.  SOMETHING POSITIVE MUST BE PUT INTO PLACE.  FUCK.  I guess.  I could take a UCB class! I like people.  Being around comedy people wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.  The worst thing in the world is What's Going On In The World.  OH NO AN ACCURACY ASSESSMENT OF CURRENT EVENTS. 
    Penultimate paragraph.  OKAY.  I guess I can re-watch OZ after Parks & Recreation.  I LIKE IT.  They shuold reboot Oz.  I'D LIKE TO BE IN OZ.  Of all the acting parts in all the world IMAGINE GETTING TO BE A PRISONER IN OZ.  It's like Heavon On Earth. Whatever.  I can't be in Oz.  What gruop would I belong to?  I can't think of ANY prisoner subset I'd fit the caricature of.  THAT'S WHERE ACTING COMES IN HANDY.  Oh.  Okay!  I WANNA BE THE WHITE GUY WHO WANTS TO BECOME A MUSLIM.  Will they let him in or exclude him.  WE'LL SEE.  But that story line only lasts a week or so.  What does this guy do BESIDES THAT.  TRY NOT TO GET RAPED.  AH FUN.  Gotta be more to it than that, right?   He is counting the days towards his freedom.  What was his crime exactly.  Stole a car and set it on fire.  Grand Theft Arsonry.  Why do we get jailtime for that.  President doesn't go to jail FOR ANYTHING.  I think we need to be seriously evaluating WHO GOES TO JAIL AND FOR WHAT when president doesn't go to jail for any of his crimes!  Or maybe he's a fluke.  He's the exception that proves the rule!  Great. 
   Last paragraph.  What if America Is Good Again one day.  Not in the Trump, "Great Again," way.  But in the ACTUALLY GOOD way.  One day we wake up to a Good Day.  It could happen!  Let's dream on it!  Maybe it was never Good and I was living in a lie!  BUT EITEHR WAY ONE DAY IT COULD BE BETTER.  We'll see what happens!  How can I do my part to build a better world.  We all gotta do our time!  Contribute creatively one way or another.  WHAT?  HOW?  HUH?  I dunno yet.  STILL WORKING TINGS OUT.  Ah well.  I dunno if they're ever gonna make another great rock n roll record.  And if they are IT WON'T BE ME that does it.  So I dunno what the point is.  MUSIC SUCKS THESE DAYS.  Mother fuckers are holding back or something, I dunno!  Either that or I afford people too much credit.  I think people are capable of a lot more than they're producing.  AND THAT GOES FOR ME AS WELL.  I don't know.  What day is it.  MONDAY?  I GUESS!  I gotta figure out what to do with my life.  I gotta get out of here.  I gotta DO BETTER!  Alright tomorrow I'll be in a better headspace.  I HAVEN'T WRITTEN BLOG IN WEEK AND HALF.  BLAME IT ON MY RUST.  I'll see ya later.

-3:54 P.M. 

Thursday, November 14, 2024

But This Time, It's Different

    Hey!  One more entry until I take a break from the website!  Should be a FUN TIME doing Music!  Fun, rewarding, productive, easy, out of this world.  Great.  Wrote a REAL SHITTY essay for Comedy Class Assignment this morning.  Just spat one out in what felt like five minutes but was actually half an hour.  A very short five paragraphs.  Guess I'll have to re-read it to give it a quick second draft when this entry is done.  Anyway.  NOT on Rock Music.  On PEOPLE WHO WALK SLOWLY when you're walking down the street.  FAIR ENOUGH.  If you've got to complain about someone, might as well be the people who were put on this Earth to be the bane of my existance.  BANE WAS PUT ON EARTH TO BE BATMAN'S BANE.  WONDER IF BRUCE WAYNE EVER THINKS ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF.  Probably Batman who thinks about it, not Bruce Wayne!  When he's Bruce Wayne he thinks about Bruce Wayne's life!  BRUCE WAYNE DOESN'T HAVE A LIFE.  He does the bare minimum to keep up appearances and even when he does rare Bruce Wayne Life Activities HOW BRUCE WAYNE-ee IS HE REALLY BEING.
    Anyway.  On the other hand, I think Batman IS Bruce Wayne!  WHEN HE'S BATMAN... He's Still Pretty Bruce Wayne A LOT OF THE TIME.  GREAT.  Anyone know what I'm gonna try to accomplish with the rest of this?  YEAH.  NEGATE THE MADNESS IN MY... What.  I dunno.  WHERE is the madness?  I am trying to get rid of some madness somewhere!  I CAN'T QUITE PLACE IT'S LOCATION though.  What am I talking about.  The thing about that is I still don't know.  Ah shit I got a lot of time left to write this entry and I don't know what I'm gonna type about!  I can tell you what's going on in my mind but it's boring and hard to describe.  Should try anyway.  I just think everyone else is an asshole.  Maybe cause I woke up and had to write a comedic essay about people I had a pet peeve with.  OR maybe because that's the world we live in.  Either way I guess I gotta move on with my life at some point.  Even if I'm the last Non-Asshole alive!
    Third paragraph.  Amazing.  I HATE MYSELF.  ZERO STARS.  WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.  I'm not so bad.  Remember the 50% of the time when I was normal?  We all had a good time with that.  Speak For Myself!  MANY HATED WHEN I WAS NORMAL.  What's wrong with those people.  I DON'T KNOW.  AND BACK AND FORTH I GO.  OK NEW TOPIC.  WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE?  ARE THERE ANY MUSICIANS OUT THERE?  THAT SEEMS LIKE A STRETCH BUT MAYBE THERE'S A COUPLE MUSICIANS OUT THERE IN THE NYC AREA.  E-MAIL IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE.  That won't lead to anything.  I HOPE NOT.  I'M SCARED OF OTHER PEOPLE.  Whew that was close.  Anyway.  FEEL FREE to Scare Me And Respond anyway!  Alright what else.  Which Superhero do you think was the most scared of other people.  That doesn't sound like ANY Super Hero.  OH NO.  I CAN NO LONGER RELATE TO THE SUPER HEROES.  NOW WHO WILL I LOOK TO FOR GUIDANCE AND MORAL SUPPORT.  Anyway.  Fou... SI... SEVEN more paragraphs after this sentence!
    OKAY HERE I GO.  Off to SOME SORT of start CAN'T EVALUATE IT YET STILL BUSY TALKING.  I guess I've been focusing in on PARKS AND RECREATION lately.  It's good!  How come everyone gotta be paired off into relationships.  Does that happen in real life?  IS THERE A REAL LIFE?  I HAVE LOTS OF QUESTIONS.  Anyway.  Gotta figure there's lots of answers out there.  If only I could REACH.  JUST OUT OF MY REACH the answers are!  I COULD GO GET THEM BUT WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE ENTRY.  I'm stuck here with you for now.  REMIND ME AT THE END THOUGH to GET THE ANSWERS!  Don't wanna forget that.  Anyway.  What else.  I want to shave before class tonight but I dunno if I will!  Kind of lazy lately!  Last *Looks at watch* thirty five years, just been REALLY LAZY.  Something is the matter with me.  I'm entitled to a life of nothing.  I should be doing NOTHING ALL THE TIME.  IN A FAIR UNIVERSE.  The universe isn't fair.  MUST BE A FAIR ONE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.  CATIPULT ME OVER TO THAT ONE.
    Fifth paragraph.  Alright!  Six paragraphs to go.  That's a lot of paragraphs!  If I just write really quickly we can get through them like nothing though!  Okay great let's do that.  DAMNIT.  WHAT THE HELL.  FUCK.  SHIT.  Looking forward to taking a break.  I SHOULD TAKE THE LONGEST BREAK.  CANCEL THE WEBSITE!  But what would I do instead!  ANYTHING ELSE.  Oh like start a similar website?  NO.  ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT!  I dunno.  A lot of people depend on this website for it to take up 2 or 3 hours in the middle of their day for them to feel falsely productive.  YEAH ONE.  YEAH AND HE HAPPENS TO BE A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON TO ME OKAY SO LET'S KEEP HIM IN MIND.  I'm talking to myself again.  YEAH.  It happens a lot when you spend this much time with yourself!  Great.  Wanna order some nonfiction books.  Up to date Current Events News Or Political Books.  I SHOULD BE THINKING MORE INTELLECTUALLY AND WHATKNOT.  What a crappy paragraph.  I've seen bad paragraphs before but this one is fucked!
   Halfway through the entry.  I guess that's good.  Get Some Non Fiction Books.  I SHOULD KNOW MORE ABOUT... we'll see.  No Spoilers!  Don't wanna ruin the movie for anyone.  MOVIE?  I LIKE MOVIES.  I like all kinds of movies.  Comedies.  Dramas.  Science Fictions.  Horrors.  J-Pop.  Army Films.  Non Fictions.  Astronaut Pieces.  Film NOIR.  You get the idea.  I HOPE I will one day too.  Four and a half paragraphs to go!  What's going on IN THIS HALF of the paragraph?  SEEMS COLD AND EMPTY.  LIKE THERE'S NOTHING EVEN HERE.  Oh I have to write it now!  What The Hell.  I'm doing it AS I SPEAK.  How's that working out for me?  IT'S VERY REWARDING.  I KNOW AFTER A FEW MORE SENTENCES THE PARAGRAPH WON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE WRITTEN ANYMORE.  WE CAN ALL GO HOME.  Well there's still more paragraphs to be written.  OH.  LUCKILY PERSONALLY I ALREADY AM HOME.  NOT EVERYONE CAN SAY THAT THOUGH.  That's pretty fortunate for me.  YEAH.  I NEVER LEAVE.  IT'S A PRETTY SWEET DEAL.
    Seventh paragraph.  Gotta figure I'll survive writing four more paragraphs!  I'VE ALREADY SURVIVED THROUGH SO MUCH IN MY LIFE.  LITERALLY SURVIVED EVERYTHING UP TIL THIS POINT.  THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF THINGS. TENS OF THOUSANDS.  That's a pretty good track record of survival so far.  In the end we all survive EVERYTHING BUT ONE SINGLE thing.  I dunno.  What about STRINGER BELL.  He was shot CONCURRENTLY by TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE.  NERD ALERT.  Anyway.  Hi.  We'll get through this.  This paragraph.  Also This Decade.  Everything else I CANNOT SPEAK TO.  How about This Entry.  Okay!  We'll get through This Entry.  HOW CAN I TELL YOU WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS DECADE.  BECAUSE I LIKE SAYING COMFORTING THINGS TO UN-SECURE PEOPLE.  Because I'm An Insecure Person and When I Say It To You IT COMES RIGHT BACK TO ME!  Good news is contagious!  Works to all of our benefit!  Amazing.  WE ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS SHIT.  Just cause these people were elected to be in charge of the government doesn't mean they control Everything.
    It's still a free country!  Do I really believe that.  YES.  FOR NOW.  AT THIS MOMENT.  I DON'T KNOW.  I'll figure it out in songform don't worry.  WHAT?  NO ONE'S EXPECTING THAT.  I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT IT'S OKAY.  NO REALLY DON'T KILL YOURSELF.  I WANT TO TRY TO MAKE SOME MUSIC.  Anyway.  I guess I'm stuck with this crap.  That's life I guess.  Use my electric guitar.  I know how to play that instrument sort of.  Not very well.  Put pen to paper.  Write some lyrics!  See a man about a singing voice.  Figure out what I'm comfortable with at this point in my life.  And so it goes.  Remember my parents are in the same house, though!  And I got neighbors!  Can't go all out SCREAMO.  Then again Sure I Can.  Maybe I can Scream Emo THE HARDEST.  I don't like that kind of music.  Okay.  I'll have to do Something Else Then.  Okay.  This is shaping up to Sound Amazing already!  Should I use the pre-programmed Drum Loops or NO DRUMS.  THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIDE.  I'm putting it on YOU to decide.  Let's Go With Drum Loop.
   DRUM LOOPS IT IS.  Great!  That was easy!  I'm making progress already!  I DUNNO.  I think people would appreciate Not Having Drums In Their Head while listening to these songs.  ALL THAT SILENCE in the Rhythm Zone of their brain?  MIGHT BE A PLUS!  Who is this character.  The guy who thinks No Drums Is Smart.  Let's get him out of the picture so he never suggests anything again.  Huh.  I like hearing from multiple viewpoints.  I thought that guy had something valuable to say!  Anyway.  What else is going on and crap.  Gotta come up with Just A Little Bit More!  You know how that goes.  Not too much.  Just a little bit.  Really embarrassing that I feel slightly stressed out over it!  In the big scheme of things it's a very small job to do!  WELL IF YOU'RE DOING A BAD JOB YEAH.  What if I wanna do a good job.  Then that'd be a Big Job.  GoodJobBigJob.  Oh.  Now that's Suddenly More Stress.  I'LL TAKE IT.  FAIR TRADE.
    Last paragraph.  Seems like today's entry was a piece of poo.  Yeah.  The website is full of shit.  That's part of the premise.  Nothing new there.  Yeah but some entries are better than others!  Get off my back about it.  If you wanted me to write better entries then you should have thought about that before I started writing a worse entry and then somehow incentivized me into writing a better entry instead!  I dunno.  Guess I'll take a walk when this is over.  I don't feel as uneasy outside as I did the day or two after Trump Won.  Feels safe out there at least.  FOR ME.  A WHITE MAN.  So I got that going for me.  What should I do with my privilege.  INVEST IT IN THE STOCK MARKET.  THANK GOD FOR IT EVERY NIGHT.  RENOUNCE IT IN A POEM.  Put it in an envelope and mail it to myself.  I dunno what to do with it!  I guess I'll think about it.  That's it for today!  I'll see ya when I see ya!

-4:43 P.M.   

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

And How Does That Make You Feel

    Hey!  How are you!  I'm doing OK.  I had to wake up EARLY.  Go to therapy appointment.  Nothing of monumental consequence happened there.  Was relatively strongly considering buying myself cigarettes when I picked up cigarettes for my mother afterwards.  Like, maybe a 10% chance I was gonna get them for myself.  I want 'em!  I need something!  But for today I refrained.  I think I'll take a week off from writing entries next week.  To work on music.  Maybe I take two weeks off.  Maybe I never come back!  DANGIT I still gotta do Comedy Class homework tonight.  Oh No.  All my Life Updates suck.  NOT A POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT IN THE BUNCH.  Working on music is a nice thing to do.  What's wrong with that?  I'm bad at it and it's hard work and it'll disturb the neighborhood.  Also what if the world ends before we get there.  Everything Might Explode.  Oh.  Well then I get to dodge having to do this project!  Kind of a welcome development in the end, I think!  What if the world ends but then we all show up to the exact same thing in the afterlife and everything we were on doing on earth just continues on precisely as we were doing it before.  And now I myself still gotta do this same music thing just like before.  Then I'm still screwed!  EVEN WITH the sweet relief of death.
   Oh well.  There's more to life than cigarettes.  There's also coffee.  Iced coffee.  I don't drink hot coffee the last couple of years but maybe I should.  I'd be a completely different person if I was drinking hot coffee.  And if I was an entirely different person Maybe You'd Like Me More.  Then I'd be In Like Flynn.  Anyway.  Would I accept a job in the Trump administration?  FUCK NO.  And I NEED a job.  I don't care!  I have SOME PRIDE.  Possibly more than my fair share.  Wouldn't accept any sort of job that involves fealty to Trump.  I'm not that desperate!  I'm pretty desperate.  But I have my MORALS and/or STANDARDS.  Anyway.  Where can I take my desperation.  Gotta go somewhere.  IS THERE NO PLACE FOR A DESPERATE MAN THESE DAYS.  How about The Restorative Nature Of Nature.  Go to some parks and whatknot.  You gotta be kidding me with this shit.  THAT'S WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH?  I'M THINKING ABOUT DISBANDING THE WEBSITE WITH ANSWERS LIKE THAT.
    Third paragraph.  Awesome.  They named John Krasinski the sexiest man alive but I don't remember anyone coming around to scout me so it wasn't really a fair vote!  If you don't know what I look like/smell like how can you correctly determine if I'm The Sexiest Or Not?  I'm probably in the top middle I'd say.  If we were ranking men in one group I would MAKE THAT ONE LEVEL of sexiest.  That's how I'd rank myself.  Great.  I've found my face more attractive since I started using ZOOM/WebCams/FaceTime compared to Before All That.  I dunno if it's BECAUSE of using the technology, or if it's just a correlation, but I think higher of my appearance when I see it reflected back to me in CameraForm the last couple of years!  Doesn't work out to my benefit at all.  Still alone.  Makes masturbation fantasies more plausible though!  Nowadays it feels MORE REAL.  Who Cares.  Maybe if it gets real enough a girl will pop up out of nowhere.  Like, someone will literally manifest physically It's So Real.  That doesn't sound real.  OR IS IT SO REAL YOU JUST CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH IT?
     Sure.  It's so real I just can't even deal with it.  Amazing!  Making progress with Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King: Hey The Title Of The Movie Is A Couplet!  I guess it's okay.  These movies are okay but at the same time it feels like practically nothing happens for 12 hours.  FRODO AND SAM WALK.  MEN AND DWARF AND ELVES FIGHT BATTLES.  OTHER HOBBITS TRAVEL ON TREEBACK.  THIS IS IT.  TWELVE HOURS.  SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  I'm learning to appreciate it a bit, though.  When I saw it in the past I Didn't Get Samwise.  Why can't Frodo just take the ring himself.  What The Hell He Need Friend For.  NOW I GET SAM.  Very important to have a friend!  Practically as important to the mission as Frodo Himself!  Movie chooses to focus on Gollum a lot.  I wonder if that was choice Peter Jackson made or if its in the book.  Anyway.  Just about Hitting A Wall.  I'm gonna smoke some marijuana!  No way I have it in me to write a great comedic essay tonight.  I should try.  Okay.  WE SHALL SEE. 
    I wanna say Halfway Through The Entry but we're not even there yet!  Still got one more paragraph until we can reach that stage!  Now I DON'T wanna say Halfway Through The Entry.  It felt wrong.  IT WAS WRONG.  I SAID IT AT THE WRONG TIME.  IF I SAID IT AT THE RIGHT TIME IT WOULDA FELT OKAY.  Let's test that theory out in a few sentences.  Okay.  Let's see.  What else is going on and crap.  I dunno.  Five and a half paragraphs to go.  I don't feel very good about that.  BUT I'LL DO IT.  I'm so alone.  Hey what the Hell.  You guys are out there.  And then other people.  And then the rest of everyone.  And then everyone else.  Plenty of people!  I understand what I'm talking about.  Sure.  Anyway.  Okay.  Sure.  Here.  We Go.  With.  The typing.  Alright.  Really looks like Trump is appointing lots of people to his administration, doesn't it?  YEAH.  IT SURE DOES.  LOTS OF SHITTY PEOPLE.  Now, I'm not saying these people are shitty, but... WELL I DID MY HALF OF THE JOKE.  GONNA TAKE A BREAK NOW.  YOUR TURN.
    Halfway through the entry!  NOW I'M NOT SAYING THESE PEOPLE ARE SHITTY BUT THEY'RE MADE UP OUT OF SHIT LITERAL SHIT.  So that's good.  IT'S KIND OF AMUSING.  I don't know what I'm gonna do.  Gotta keep doing something!  Anyway.  I know what to do.  Write some bullshit.  Seems simple enough.  OR IS IT.  YEAH. IT'S EASY.  LOOK EVEN I CAN DO IT.  Okay great.  I'm writing bullshit over and over again because the people in my mind just can't get enough of it.  AND THAT TAKES ME TO MY NEXT POINT, why does the light in my room keep going on and off!  It's like I'm supposed to metaphorically be COMING UP WITH IDEAS all the time.  Every time the light goes on I'm supposed to be like, "EUREKA!"  I DON'T OPERATE THAT WAY.  What else is going on.  I operate the way I operate.  DRUNK AND WITHOUT A MEDICAL DEGREE.  ALSO INFREQUENTLY.  THE CALL RARELY COMES.  Hopefully that's because I'm not needed!  And not because I'm not wanted!
    Four paragraphs left.  Wow.  I don't know what I'll say.  DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL SAY?  Guess we'll find out what I say when I say it.  I guess I'll just TALK ABOUT WHATEVER COMES TO MIND.  I CAN'T WAIT.  WHAT COMES TO MY MIND IS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD.  People come from across the land to witness What Comes To My Mind!  TIRED.  I think I should give the people something new!  WHAT'S UP IN MY BRAIN.  No that's no good.  WHAT'S COMING ALONG IN MY HEAD.  I don't think so.  IS THIS GOING DOWN IN MY SYNAPSES?  Maybe! I Don't Know!  It's a tough proposition to introduce a new premise to the public.  Especially when you don't know what you're introducing to the public yet!  Gotta figure out what it is FIRST, and THEN introduce it to the public.  That'd be what any sane person would do.  I don't know what I'm talking about.  I never know what I'm talking about.  WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT?  Who can EVER really KNOW?  Huh.  Know what?  I dunno!
    WELL.  ANOTHER PARAGRAPH BEFORE US.  WHAT'S THIS, "US."  I NEVER SIGNED UP TO BE ON A TEAM WITH MYSELF.  Ah well.  I'm a nice enough guy.  Should be nice spending some time getting to know me!  Okay.  Great.  I'm the biggest loser in the history of the world.  There.  You've gotten to know me!  JUST BECAUSE I LIKE A SONG CALLED, "LOSER," DOESN'T MAKE ME THE LOSER.  I MIGHT AS WELL THINK I'M THE BIGGEST Michael Short Circuits Attempting To Think Of Good song title References. IN THE WORLD. Trying to think of song titles lately!  STEP ONE: Song Title.  STEP TWO: BASS GUITAR STEP THREE: SUCCESS  Yeah!  Two and a half paragraphs to go.  I WILL DO FINE WITH THEM.  I AM DESTINED FOR GREATNESS.  FINALLY FIGURED OUT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS THE SONG SUCCESS FORMULA.  Anyway.  What the Hell is going on.  Got confused for a second.  Which is what I call Understanding Things.  YEAH.  Anyway.  I'd say I spend less than ten percent of my time Understanding Things.  AND IT'S USUALLY THE PLOT OF A MOVIE I'M WATCHING. 
    Penultimate paragraph.  I guess this should be a waste of all of our time just like all the other paragraphs!  Well probably but give me a chance won't you?  OK DO YER THING.  My... Thing.  MYTH...ING.  Amazing.  I don't know what my thing is!  It could be practically anything!  I KNOW WHAT IT IS.  E-MAIL ME THE ANSWER.  YOU KNOW THE ADDRESS.  It's been at the bottom of the page this entire time!  Anyway.  I guess I have to come up with one point five paragraphs.  WHAT A SHITTY FUCKIN UNIVERSE.  I guess that's all I got for today.  I'm just about sapped up of LIFEJUICE.  AND THEN I'M DONE FOR.  Great.  I'm gonna change keyboards I'm so desperate to mix things up!  HEY.  I was talking on my external keyboard.  And now I am at the laptop itself.  This feels okay.  A little bit too close to the monitor.  I feel weird.  BUT ODDLY STIMULATED.  Feels strangely intimate.  We're just THAT MUCH CLOSER.
    I SEE.  I...  SEE.  I'm gonna take a step back!  GIVE EVERYONE THEIR SPACE.  LET'S ALL RETREAT TO SEPARATE CORNERS OF THE ROOM.  I CAN'T I HAVE TO REACH THE KEYBOARD WITH MY FINGERS.  DANGIT.  Getting close to Relaxation Time of the day.  I DO BELIEVE I'll distract myself with TV!  SORRY.  I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE STILL IN HELL.  I'm still in Many Of The Stages Of Grief INCLUDING Denial!  So that's good.  Maybe Michael will write some relevant songs.  We're not saying they'll change the world but maybe they can be complete and have an internal logic at least.  OR maybe they WILL change the world WITHOUT being complete OR having an internal logic!  Either way!  I guess I can have some food for dinner.  Wasn't really considering any alternatives but now that the time has come I know Now More Than Ever FOOD IS THE WAY TO GO.  I haven't been thinking about What I've Been Writing for most of the entry.  I just say Weird & Dumb Things as they come to me.  HOPE they at least make sense.  Guess I'll take that ethos into song writing!  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  

-5:15 P.M.   
         
   
     

Tuesday, November 12, 2024

I Don't See How Any Of This Is Relevant

    Well.  We're here again.  Not a fan!  Signed up for the newest twitterclone BLUE SKY.  Seems like they got a nice chunk of the people you wanna follow!  I can see myself sticking to Blue Sky over Threads and X!  SEE YOU IN HELL X.  AND TO A LESSER EXTENT THREADS.  Maybe I should start making posts myself.  And build a following.  And one day use that following to serve my needs!  What needs.  You know: sex cult!  I don't need that.  I'm not even sure I want that at this point.  It's a hassle and a responsibility and ultimately a thorn in my side that I COULD DO WITHOUT.  Anyway.  Oscillating back towards fantasizing about doing Music as next thing.  I can make new songs by myself.  75% There Fully new songs!  This time around I can even FAKE A BASS GUITAR.  I've never done that before with songs!  Give it a shot this time.  Bass guitar played on real guitar but bass guitar nonetheless.  The last few sentences were Teaser Trailer #1 for upcoming music project! AMAZING.  NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.  I can't control the world going down the terlet.  I can at least gain control of my dumb little life.
   Actually funny story can't gain control of that either.  Anyway.  Started watching Lord Of The Ring: Return Of The King. Is Trump coming back Return Of The King?  Not really!  He wasn't a king the first time around!  MOSTLY had to follow laws!  Also I WILL NEVER call him King!  In my mind King has positive connotations!  Even though historically that clearly isn't really always accurate.  #NOTMYKING.  I'm sure Burger King would just co-opt that somehow.  Don't bother trying to make that a thing.  IT'S POINTLESS.  Started listening to music out loud on some of my walks for part of the time.  I'M OUT OF FUCKS TO GIVE.  WE'RE LISTENING TO MUSIC WHETHER YOU LIKE OR NOT PEDESTRIANS.  Mostly on parts of my walks when I'm alone.  Crowded parts I still will not listen to music on phone speakers!  Music isn't completely pleasurable.  It's kind of manipulative when you think about it!  Telling you what to feel and when!  I may just be doing it wrong.  Could be ON ME.  Musicing Wrong this entire time!  I need to take a music appreciation class it turns out.  I took one of those in high school.  There was no real emphasis on how to appreciate music!  More about learning who Classical Composers were and their birthdays.  And deathdays.  And possibly the days they wrote their magnum opii.  Too bad I didn't have Mr. Holland.  He'd have taught me to appreciate Louie, Louie or something!  Tell me about his deaf son.  GIMME SOMETHING to work with!
    Gonna have to write Comedy Class comedic essay either tonight or tomorrow night.  Might stick with ROCK MUSIC topic!  Clearly music is on the melon.  Maybe if I do a really good job with this assignment it'll bring joy to classmates and/or teacher.  That seems like a stretch.  Yeah.  You're right.  Well we'll never know because I'll top out at doing a 7 out of 10 at best!  AND I WOULDN'T COUNT ON THAT TO BE HONEST.  I BOUGHT A NEW ICED COFFEE THIS MORNING even though I had 2/3rds of one from yesterday in the fridge.  EXCUSE ME BUT I FORGOT.  Nobody's perfect.  Except for Oh I Don't Know SOMEONE.  ALL MY FAVORITE HEROES ARE PERFECT.  Musicians, comedians, ALL THE ARTISTS I LOVE.  My parents, my brother, a couple of rare politicians and news media.  THERE ARE PERFECT PEOPLE OUT TEHRE.  I DON'T CARE IF THEY SAY THEY'RE NOT PERFECT.  That just makes them even more perfect.  So that's good.  I guess.  Not sure what comedic point I'm trying to make there.  I guess that will be revealed to us in time! 
    Fourth paragraph.  My Dad used to say, I'm not perfect, but me admitting that brings me closer to perfect.  Tongue in cheek.  That sort of thing.  Also MY DAD IS STILL ALIVE.  He may very well CONTINUE ON SAYING THAT.  Great.  My Dad used to say lots of things.  Smart guy!  WORE GLASSES.  Still does!  Anyway.  I might get some sort of pasta dish tonight.  Hopefully from the pizzeria.  But even if my parents decide to get delivery from the diner option, I can STILL Get pasta!  AMAZING.  Bought a new flavor of Gummies over the weekend.  FANTASTIC.  Anyway.  Gotta figure out how I'm gonna tackle writing music.  I assume I'll stick with regular walking schedule and regular writing website schedule.  Will I mostly work on music over the weekend?  Will I wrestle with it during the nighttimes over the week?  WILL I INVENT NEW PERIODS OF TIME to work on music?  Probably mostly The Weekend!  Can I Fight Club this shit and do it when I think I'm sleeping?  That'd be very convenient.  But on the other hand LESS REWARDING.  OH NO.
    Fuck.  How can I write songs that mean something.  I'm under the impression NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING.  These things come in waves.  For a while Nothing Means Anything.  Then for a bit Things Mean Things again.  Then Some Things Mean Some Things!  Probably.  That's what I'm hoping for!  Ultimately life is probably pointless but we'll delude ourselves well enough Activity To Activity!  DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.  I don't know what I'm talking about.  WHY would anyone listen to my songs.  WHAT UNIVERSAL TRUTHS DO I KNOW.  I think I know a lot.  Not CONSCIOUSLY.  But inside.  Somewhere inside I think I've gathered some True Knowledge.  And it's POSSIBLE some of it is ready to come out!  Guess we'll see.  Couldn't hurt to put out more free content into the universe!  WHY NOT.  YOU'RE ALL NICE GUYS.  HERE HAVE SOME MORE.  Huh.  Ultimately actually the goal is I'm trying to make music project SO GOOD it would make people want to give me a Real Job Opportunity In Music.  Right? That's the premise!  It's a selfish proposition.  How the Hell can I make songs professional level.  IT'LL BE TOUGH.  Just gonna have to knock every aspect of each song out of the park!  HOW. I CAN'T.  LIL OL ME?  Whatever.   
   Okay.  What else.  HALFWAY through the entry!  COMEDY.  I dunno what the Hell I'm supposed to do on this planet and also WHO THE HELL GIVES A SHIT!  LET'S MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES but also THIS IS MY LIFE we're talking about.  Ugh.  I'm trying to move on with my life from thinking about my life but what else is there.  THE WORLD OUTSIDE?  IT'S FUCKING BEYOND GOING TO SHIT.  Saying the world is going to shit is a huge understatement!  Do we need to talk about it?  Maybe if we just close our eyes and shut our ears it'll be like it's not happening!  Bad news.  Can't shut our ears.  NOT HUMANLY POSSIBLE.  Wonder what the evolutionary biological reason for that is.  Humans are Able to control whether we want to See Or Not at any given moment BUT NOT HEAR.  ALWAYS GOTTA BE LISTENING.  Sorry... Wonder what THE INTELLIGENT DESIGN reason for that is as we will be learning in school soon.  What if I think that there was a God who designed all this but I think he was really stupid when he did it. Dumb Design.  IT WAS ALL PREORDAINED CONSCIOUSLY but really wasn't thought through very well and God did a really half assed job.  DUMB DESIGN THEORY.  
   Seventh paragraph.  What the Hell is going on.  I don't believe God designed this universe.  Why would he be so malevolent.  Maybe there's a big payoff at the end.  I doubt it!  Then again there probably is some sort of big thing at the end.  SOMETHING'S BOUND TO HAPPEN.  Join my Sex Cult and we can speculate on it.  While having sex!  It's a DOUBLE good time!  Anyway.  If I had a sex cult it'd be HORIZONTAL not vertical.  We're all equals in the cult!  Or at least that's what I'M TRYING to live up to!  The premise of Sex Cult is that there's a hierarchy in place.  And the higher up you go the more sex you get.  I dunno.  Can't you just have a Sex Cult where it's just a bunch of people who have sex?  That's more of a Sex Group.  Not really a cult!  Oh.  THAT'S MORE IN LINE WITH WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE.  Amazing.  What else is up.  Three more paragraphs after this one!  What a shitty entry today.  I blame it on listening to a few songs after not having that for a few days.  IT WAS JARRING TO THE SYSTEM.  I didn't know how to process it!  I FAILED IN MY ATTEMPTS TO DO SO.
    Uh-huh.  OK.  I GUESS.  What the Hell am I talking about.  Talking about sex cults.  I am NOT nor was I ever in a sex cult.  AND I NEVER WILL BE IN ONE.  Not with that attitude!  I'LL NEVER BE IN ANY KIND OF CULT WITH THAT KIND OF ATTITUDE.  Always gonna be alone.  WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT.  I lost track of the plot a long time ago.  As they say.  Anyway.  What else is going on and crap.  Two and a half more paragraphs to go.  Crazysheet, eh?  You guys been reading for a while?  I've been here the longest.  And that's a good start to me writing the last quarter of the entry.  WHAT WILL I SAY.  I could always just comment on the state of the union. Or talk about the things you wanna say.  Great.  Sounds like I have a good idea of what we're trying to conversate about.  CONVERSATE.  Who am I talking to in this scenario.  Could be practically anyone.  Possibly multiple people.  I could be talking to SEVERAL PEOPLE AT ONCE.  Why am I bragging about that.  People talk to people all the time.  Not like I do!  Very proud.
    Penultimate paragraph!  I don't like how writing website makes me think about my life.  Each day erases the last!  That's not how life works!  Yesterday still matters.  I'm not sure what that means.  I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.  IT'S TAKING UP SPACE ON MY GOD DAMN WEBSITE.  WE GOT ONLY SO MUCH LINES.  Anyway.  Let's see.  What else is there to talk about!  Conclusion Stuff.  We have plenty of time left.  Two paragraphs?  Plenty of time?  For the LazyWriter it is.  Anyway.  Now I'm scared of Lazy Writers.  Why would my first instinct be Fear.  Ahh because it's obvious?  What do you feel when you think about Lazy Writers?  Let's open this up to the board.  Class.  Group.  I THINK THEY ARE FULL OF THEMSELVES AND SMELL LIKE PEE says Catherine from Brooklyn.  THEY WON'T START WRITING says Jim from The Bronx.  I don't know.  Now I HAVE to pee.  Power of suggestion.  Whatever.  Just occurred to me that if I make new music it might actually be good.  It won't be good ENOUGH.  But it could be GOOD WITHOUT THE ENOUGH.
    Last paragraph.  That's my last chance to end on a high note!  I was gonna get pasta but now I might get pizza.  It's easier to eat.  That's how big of a Disability Person I am.  PASTA IS SIMPLY TOO COMPLICATED.  FUCK THAT.  I'M GONNA GET THE PASTA.  I CAN MANEUVER MY WAY AROUND A FORK.  Not the hardest thing in the world to do.  ONE THING AT A TIME.  The thing I have to do now is PASTA.  Creepy pasta is a website.  Yes.  It is!  Very good.  THAT'S LIFE FOR YA.  I'm not a Lazy Writer, I'm a Terrible Writer.  I don't even know what I'm doing.  Almost done, though.  Until tomorrow!  Then I start all over again!  Sounds like fun.  YOU KNOW IT!  How would you rate your experience this entry.  On a scale from one to ten, would you give it either a one or a ten.  ...WHAT DO YOU MEAN you don't want to participate in this bit?  YOU'VE READ THE ENTRY.  NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE CEREMONIAL SKIT AT THE END.  Well that's it!  See ya tomorrow.

-6:10 P.M.

Monday, November 11, 2024

Ever Wonder What It's Like To Have A Website

    No...  Because I've always had a website!  Why would I have to consciously consider What It's Like.  That's what I'D SAY but WHAT IF I'M ASKING YOU NOT ME.  I dunno how you'd respond.  That'd be the entire premise of asking questions I'd imagine.  Asking things you don't know the answer to.  I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF ASKING QUESTIONS.  I think we should all Know Everything Already.  Anyway.  What comedic point am I trying to make there.  I don't know!  How was everyone's weekend?  I'm introducing a topic.  So far we've been rudderless!  Nothing holding us down!  I'll fix that!  We'll have plenty to talk about once I start talking about something!  Hey what's the word on The ugh.  Watched some Lord Of The Rings lately!  All of Fellowshim and... well... all of The Two Twoers.  So let's just say I watched Fellowship and Two Towsers.  I enjoyed it.  It was a lot of fun!  It made me feel like our lives meant something for a few minutes at a time!
    I understand that there is a third Lord Of The Things film as well!  These films are four hours long.  I'm watching the extended edition.  Then I got Hobbits after this.  All in all this might consume the rest of my life.  Or I finish it in three days.  I dunno!  Also been catching up on Parks & Recreation!  What have those folk been up to!  Normal governmental business we can only assume.  Time capsules and harvest festivals.  What's wrong with that.  NEVER GONNA HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE.  It's all a sham!  I don't like being lied to!  You know what I'm talking about!  Ugh.  Still haven't made any progress on the Teaching Front.  Or the Music Front.  Or the Western Front.  I know a good open mic to go to.  That's progress.  Sounds like degress to me.  Why? CAUSE I SUCK.  Ah.  I don't like this entry so far!  HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO ANY MAIN POINTS YET.  I HAVE THINGS TO SAY AND WE'RE GETTING WAY BEHIND ON TIME ALREADY.
    I COULD DO BETTER.  The last two paragraphs are not the best I can do!  Well, I'm convinced.  Anyway.  NO I CAN'T COMMIT TO A LORD OF TEH RING CHARACTER TO FULLY RELATE TO.  FINE I DUNNO FINE BILBO BAGGINS.  I like to get lost in the fiction whenever possible.  IT WAS POSSIBLE this weekend!  World was collapsing around me so I found comfort in Fantasy Film!  Now we're back on Earth!  World is still collapsing around me.  Pretty sure Frodo is the hero.  I want to be Frodo.  I want to be Michael.  You must be confused about some things.  Anyway.  I'll figure out who I want to be on my own time.  JAMES VAN DER BEEK.  I don't know who that is.  HIS NAME POPPED INTO MY BRAIN.  NOW IT'S TIME FOR A NEW NAME THOUGH.  LOUIE ANDERSON.  Okay.  I KNOW WHO THAT IS.  HE'S THE GUY WHO IS NOW A SHE.  COMEDY MA'AM.  I USED TO THINK SHE WAS HACKY AS A CHILD BUT NOW I BELIEVE SHE'S CLEVER.  Sounds like I should know who James Van Der Beek is, too.  He's some actor who was in Movies in the late 90's!  I just wanted to seem COOL.  I thought if I played it like I didn't know who he was YOU'D LIKE ME MORE.
    Fourth paragraph!  I DON'T KNOW.  The thing about the ring is, you want to get it to Mordor, but you don't wanna put it on yourself!  Tricky proposition!  I thought the fellowship of the ring was gonna last the entire trilogy.  It lasts basically half of one movie.  Who gives a shit about it in the end!  DUMB ASS FELLOWSHIP.  Man.  I could go for A Good Fellowship right now, though!  I'm picturing a Fellowship in my head.  And it hits the spot.  WHERE'S A QUALITY ASS FELLOWSHIP WHEN YOU NEED ONE.  Anyway.  I don't remember anything about towers in the second film.  And I had the entire thing on my television for the entire time!  I watched most of it.  I think I should get some credit for that!  NO I SHOULDN'T.  Interesting.  Anyway.  I might write my Pet Peeve comedic essay on ROCK MUSIC.  I think music these days is no good.  Rock n roll particularly!  I don't wanna have to write an essay on it but it's one pet peeve that comes to mind!  Yep.  Another one is people who walk ahead of you on the sidewalk but walk too slowly.  But I can't write 5 paragraphs on that!  Only one or two!
    What a shitty day today is today.  Sounds like a job for ENTRYMAN.  That's a new superhero I'm pitching.  Pitching to WHO.  Yeah!  A lot of people are talking about maybe the election was hacked. I find that pretty unlikely!  Then again the universe itself operates in a pretty unlikely way! So I don't know what to tell you!  Probably was as legitimate as anything else is!  What else is going on.  Four years of Trump.  Let's just pray we still get a Democracy at the end of this and have an election in 2028.  Can we operate under that premise? I dunno.  If so, we have something to look forward to.  So that's good.  I like those odds.  Anyway.  Veterans Day today!  That's when we celebrate THE LIVING veterans.  Not Zombies.  Looks like Thanksgiving is right around the corner!  We celebrate by breaking bread with those who mean most to us.  Still haven't listened to music for close to a week now!  I feel like death taking silence walks.  This is what ghosts must feel like.
    Halfway through the entry!  You know what that means!  Time for our special game IS IT DUMB OR IS IT STUPID.  It's where we look at things I Say and we determine IS IT DUMB OR IS IT STUPID.  Earlier in the entry I said going to an Open Mic was Degress.  Is that DUMB or is that STUPID.  I'M Going To Say That Was Stupid.  I'M SORRY THAT WAS ACTUALLY DUMB.  Okay.  I See No Reason To Continue Playing This Game.  Anyway.  I hate going into Brooklyn, though!  Gotta go into Manhattan, then Brooklyn?!  It's inconvenient!  And all that maneuvering around!  Open Mic is very close to subway station, though.  Can't be too difficult to Maneuver Around.  Hmm.  What song would I even play.  I'VE GOT JUST THE SONG.  YOU KNOW, THE MEDIOCRE ONE.  NO ONE LIKES IT.  IT'S PERFECT.  Oh okay very good.  They might even let me play two songs.  GREAT I GOT DOZENS OF SONGS THAT ARE TERRIBLE NO PROBLEM.  Anyway.  And the goal is to find people to be in a band with me?  THIS ALL SEEMS UNLIKELY.  LIKE DREAMWORLD.  LIKE UNRELAITYVILLE.  LIKE FALSEHOODTOWN.  LIKE UHHHUHYEAHSUREIBELIEVEYOUNOTAREA.  Oh.  Well I have to Go Somewhere and Do Something!
   Seventh Paragraph.  Why do I have to go somewhere.  I get DOING SOMETHING.  Why can't I just lay in bed for the rest of my life.  That's a FORM of doing something.  BUT IT'S NOT SUSTAINABLE.  Sure it's the dream we all aspire to but it's an unrealistic long term plan!  Get up.  Get out of bed.  Drag a comb across my head.  Go down stairs and drank a cup.  Looking up I NOTICE I WAS LATE.  These closely mirror rock n roll lyrics is the point I'm trying to make.  Anyway.  YOU.  YOUR LIFE.  HOW'S THAT GOING.  NOT GOOD PROBABLY.  COLLECTIVELY we're not doing too great right now!  I guess some people are on top of the world.  They're called Arctic People and I've written short stories about them.  I wanna read that short story!  We have a right to know who these people are and what about them.  What makes them tic.  Anyway.  Three paragraphs left to write!  After this one!  SHIT!  Don't worry.  Calm down. It's just crazysheet.  It means close to nothing to me, and I mean that in the closest to best way possible!
   Okay!  Alright!  Paragraphs!  Gonna take a good look at my TV tonight and make it show me things!  Probably just Parks And Recreation but a movie isn't out the Question!  Anyway.  I guess this is it!  No, three more paragraphs to go.  No.  But I meant You & Me.  I'M LEAVING YOU.  Oh.  Right Now?  Cause I usually write ten paragraphs per day... MAYBE NOT RIGHT NOW.  BUT SOON.  Oh.  Yeah.  Like, three paragraphs, right?  CAN'T SAY WHEN IN EXACT TIMEWORDS.  NOW, SOON, THEN.  BUT IT WILL HAPPEN.  But not this moment.  Cause I got some paragraphs to write!  And you're my favorite Background Existor!  Whatever.  Great.  Who am I again and who am I talking to again and who are YOU again?  We are all the same person.  I call him Crazor.  That is good stuff.  This is the stuff that's been given us.  ANYWAY I DON'T KNOW WHY GOLLUM DOESN'T JUST SNATCH THAT RANG.  Obviously J. R.R. Tolken knew what he was doing more than me.  [Editor's note -- you can construct the name Gollum by removing several letters out of the name GOLDBLUM]  How come no Tolken didn't have any black hobbits or other characters.  Obviously J.R.R. Tolken knew more than he was doing more than me.  Gonna be a big racial justice payoff at the end.  Just keep waiting.  It's coming!  
    Penultimate paragraph.  Okay.  I like things like that.  I AM LOOKING FORWARD to being done with this.  WHAT WILL I DO that's so much fun?  NOT THIS!  I WORK HARD AND I PLAY HARD.  I wonder what I'll have for dinner.  God Only Knows!  ANYWAY.  I should try to play some guitar but it might hurt.  Probably would just lead to no feelings at all.  Alright!  Feeling nothing isn't so bad.  In fact it's kinda nice! I've been feeling nothing for a bit lately and it's been working out more or less as far as I can tell.  I DUNNO.  WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY FEEL.  I DUNNO WHAT I FEEL, WHAT I THINK, WHAT I HEART, ETC.  I FEEL LIKE IT'S UNIMPORTANT.  That's a good feeling.  I forget what we're talking about but whatever it is IT IS UNIMPORTANT.  I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT.  LET'S JUST MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES LIKE IT'S NOT EVEN A MATTER OF FACT!  Oh Okay Great. 
    Last paragraph!  One more chance to write some sentences!  WHAT TO DO.  I REALLY DON'T KNOW.  I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  I guess I gotta keep doing this bullshit.  If only I liked Keith Richards' book more!  I just don't find him captivating as a narrator!  I don't enjoy his life story!  I DON'T LIKE THE CHOICES HE MAKES.  It's only a book how bad could it be.  Ah.  A bad book is your worst friend!  And a bad friend is your worst enemy!  And your worst enemy is your least good friend!  And your horrible friend is a tangible acquaintance!  You get the idea.  YES-- ALMOST OVER.  NO-- GONNA BE BACK TOMORROW.  YES-- TIME OFF.  NO-- STUCK IN SAME PLACE.  Yes--- I LOVE YOU?  NO-- YOUR MOM'S BUTTFACE.  Anyway.  What else is up.  Could be practically anything!  But instead it's nothing!  Which is good news for me cause that's the most convenient amount of things to type!  Ugh.  You know what two movies I was thinking about re-watching?  Sleepers and Adaptation.  One is more fun than the other!  SLEEPERS.  It has Kids in it!  KIDS ARE FUN.  Get em in a room.  Watch em go.  They don't know what they're saying.  Anyway that's it.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:04 P.M.
         

Friday, November 8, 2024

What Would You Like To Read Today

    NOT THIS.  Oh No that's bad cause that's precisely what's coming!  What horrible luck.  Anyway.  What's up with you guys!  Decided to write another Friday Entry today because it's much better than doing nothing.  Had an interesting thought just ten minutes ago.  Become a teacher.  Go to grad school for teaching.  That'll take 2 or 3 years.  And then I can start teaching!  I'd ideally teach high school English or History.  I think I'm qualified to do that.  And in the past, when I was a lot younger, I considered teaching but was never enthusiastic about it.  But now I think about it and it feels like something I might enjoy.  And it's something I definitely can do!  Unlike music or comedy or writing or improv.  I KNOW I can do this.  And I know HOW TO GET STARTED.  Start looking into programs!  I liked going to Queens College as an undergrad just fine.  They probably have a program for Grad School teaching!  Guess I'll start looking into that later!   
  I'm okay at creative stuff. But just.  Not.  ENOUGH.  MY BRAIN HAS BARRIERS IN PLACE.  I have potential inside me but it's locked up and hidden away and I've given it way more than enough time trying to chip away at the ice keeping it frozen.  At this point it's time to acknowledge I'm not gonna be at the level that professional creatives are at!  My Dad was a great teacher though.  I was a great class clown when I was in school who CONTRIBUTED to the class from that perspective and can CONTRIBUTE TO CLASS ONCE AGAIN.  I ain't kidding.  I made being class clown a HELPFUL, PRODUCTIVE thing!  Well maybe 20% of the time.  Most of the time I was just being a dick.  But some of the time I Was Helping making the environment more fun and relaxed and in tune with what Teacher was trying to accomplish!  Ugh.  But the point is, IT'S SOMETHIN'.  Goin back to school to teach is something I can do and I imagine being around innocent and curious kids and think maybe it's not the worst place in the world to be.  And I can always keep writing and doing whatever else while I'm in grad school!  And even while I'm teaching!  I can be an advanced hobbyist however long I want!
    Great.  SOMETHING.  IT IS GREAT.  In a perfect world I can even return to my old high school to teach.  All them impressionable smarties.  But I'd be happy teaching ANYWHERE.  ALL CHILDREN WANT KNOWLEDGE AND GUIDANCE.  ALL PEOPLE DO.  Well most people do.  WELL SOME PEOPLE DO.  Well a few of us do.  WELL CAN'T COUNT OUT THAT THERE'S A STRAY PERSON HERE OR THERE IN NEED OF A TEACHER.  Anyway.  Teachers make a decent living in NYC.  I'd be able to support myself and potential family.  It just makes sense on many levels!  I love art so much.  Music and comedy and writing and TV and movies.  I can't explain it to you.  I never will be able to.  I don't want to give up but there's no future for me there.  Huh.  When I was 18 and majoring in education the first time around before I switched majors and schools I never considered it a DANGER going into teaching.  Now is that something I have to consider?  Hmm.  The only danger about going into teaching is not giving it 110% and doing right by your students.  Oh okay very good.
   LOOK if I become a teacher I'm sure I'll hate it and the students and every other aspect of the job in no time.  I dunno.  Maybe not.  My Dad LOVED teaching!  It was literally his favorite thing in the world.  And he was great at it.  And I'd like to think a few of the positive parts of my father have passed into me!  Maybe not all of 'em!   But maybe a third to fourty percent or so!  Anyway. I got my major in English.  Maybe just stick with that for Teachings!  I think History might be productive and important for the students but possibly more demoralizing to focus on day in and day out for me.  English is more fun anyway.  Get to look at things from different aspects!  Everything Is New Again!  History is the same thing over and over!  That's boring!  Maybe I even get to teach creative writing classes and whatknot.  They have those in high school sometimes.  That's fun!  POETRY.  I took a poetry class in high school.  I wanna get high schoolers writing poetry!  WHAT WILL THEY COME UP WITH!
   Anyway.  We'll see.  I'm not committing to anything 100%!  But it's certainly something to look into.  Plus I get to read stuff all over again and for the first time!  Beatnik Poetry.  Kurt Vonnegut!  John Steinbeck!  WHAT THE HELL. HERE COMES LITERATURE.  Whatever.  Comedy Class went okay last night.  Teacher was nice enough talking about my Shitty Game Idea!  Now I got one more class next week and then it's over!  Assignment is write a 5 paragraph comedic essay about a Pet Peeve Of Mine.  Low Stakes Pet Peeve!  And I have some sort of Comedic Take on it!  I DUNNO what to write yet.  So that's good!  Pretty sure I wanna teach High School though.  I wanna teach developed minds!  But not college kids!  They're assholes!  Also they'd probably be smarter than me at that point.  What can I teach a college kid about David Foster Wallace that they can't teach me!  NOPE, I got an advantage over a 15 year old but that quickly disappears once they're a few years older!
    Halfway through the entry!  Anyway.  LESSON PLANS?  BUT I DON'T WANT TO.  I CAN WING THIS I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.  That's my feeling.  AIM.  Who came up with AIM.  Whoever came up with AIMs must be pretty proud of themselves because now AIM is 100% of All Classes Everywhere.  If you're teachign a class without writing an AIM on the board you're gonna get in trouble with your supervisor.  AIM is the last true dictatorship in America. Except for the upcoming dictatorship in America.  Anyway.  Just made a very quick look-em-up of Grad School.  Hmm.  I need THREE letters of Recommendation.  I don't know THREE PEOPLE.  What am I gonna do!  Hmm.  I graduated college in 2017.  I don't think any teacher is gonna remember me.  Can I get an improv teacher to recommend me?  Probably not!  This sucks.  What the Hell am I gonna do.  I guess I can write an IMPASSIONED EMAIL saying I'm a capable guy who just has no life, I don't know three authority people... everyone has unique circumstances, THESE ARE MINE, DOESN'T MEAN I SHUOLDN'T BE ALLOWED IN YOUR PROGRAM...
   Ah well.  We'll see!  Four paragraphs to go.  Maybe I can get one of my UCB Teachers to write a letter.  Possibly ONE OF EM could!  But that still leaves TWO MORE.  Anyway.  I'll figure this out on my own time!  What Else Is Up!  I don't know.  Gonna buy some gummies tomorrow.  Haven't smoked any weed in a few days.  Just doesn't feel right.  Anyway.  Maybe I should take up smoking again!  Cigarettes!  That might make my life better, too!  Trump.  Going back to school.  Smoking cigarettes.  WE'RE BRINGING EVERYTHING BACK FROM 2017.  See how that goes.  At this point it doesn't seem very logical to Want To Add Ten Years To My Life.  What's the point exactly in that.  What am I gaining from that scenario exactly!  TEN YEARS OF LIVING.  YOU KNOW, EATING LUNCHES AND DRINKING SODAS.  Still nice pleasure I get to have here and there!  Whatever.  What else is up.  If I was addicted to cigarettes again that'd make the teaching day a lot less enjoyable!  You can't smoke inside at all! I'd be jonesing for a cigarette the entire school day!  I don't want that!  Oh good point.
   Three paragraphs to go.  ANY OF YOU wanna write me a letter of recommendation?  I'll take it!  E-mail is at the bottom of the webpage!  So that's good.  Two of them need to be from former teachers.  I literally can't get that.  I dunno.  Maybe this is never gonna happen either!  This is just a small roadblock.  Surely I can figure out how to get into grad school despite not having recommendations.  Right?  I DUNNO.  Now I'm thinking about cigarettes.  Thinking about COLLEGE activated thinking about cigarettes in me in a way that it wasn't activated before!  Also thinking about music open mic yesterday.  I associate those two activities with Smoke Breaks!  Also maybe Trump coming back makes me wanna smoke cigarettes, too!  Either way!  Camel Blues!  Newports!  Those were my brands.  Get both and alternate between em both cigarette to cigarette!  SORRY I SHOULDN'T SAY THE EXACT KIND OF CIGARETTE THAT MIGHT BE TRIGGERING.  To ME.  Ah well too late now.
     Penultimate paragraph.  Anyway.  Teaching!  Great.  Grad school.  Fine!  Applying.  DON'T LIKE IT.  Gotta start somewhere though.  Arrange my class in a U.  If they let me!  That's obviously the dream.  Have the students' desks in a U shape in the room instead of in rows and columns.  We'll see how feasible it is when the time comes!  Anyway.  Maybe I shuold see the new Hugh Grant horror movie this weekend!  I like Hugh Grant!  I like horrror movies!  Don't think I'll like this weekend but doesn't mean I should give up on it before it's even begun! HEY I'd watch About A Boy tonight if it's available to me.  I think I have it on DVD.  I must.  Probably WORKS too would be my guess if I do have it.  Seems reasonable.  I like a whole lot of aspects of that movie!  Anyway.  Just gave it a quick LOOKSEE and I don't see it anywhere!  Whatever.  It's not the greatest movie in the world.  I'll survive without it.  One more paragraph to go!
    Sure.  I guess.  Oh I Know maybe it's ON THE FLOOR somewhere.  I'll look more in a little bit.  I found High Fidelity.  That's a potential substitute replacement I guess.  I vaguely remember that DVD not working though.  Great.  Just my luck!  Couldn't have watched the DVD more than 8 or 10 times at most.  Why would it stop working.  Made with shoddy material I guess.  Poor worksmanship!  I dunno!  Don't remember trying to have SEX with the DVD or abusing it in any other fashion!  Don't try to blame this one on me!  Maybe it's the X-box 360 at fault.  Alright.  Anyway.  No progress on New Phone Front.  Dunno when I'll start listening to music on walks!  Right now I don't mind too much!  I don't deserve music!  Probably wouldn't like it anyway.  My Dad retired from high school assistant principality at 55.  If I don't start teaching until I finish school, I'd be starting teaching close to forty.  I dunno.  Different journeys for different folks.  Anyway.  I'll see ya next week!

-3:35 P.M.        
         
     
          

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Pretend I'm Not Even Here

    WHY.  Imagine me in a better place! OH OKAY.  Maybe it'll manifest!  I'll suddenly transport into Better Very Different Place IF ONLY YOU BELIEVE!  Let's Get To It.  Also, goes without saying-- YOU CAN COME WITH ME.  We're all going to an imaginary alternate universe in our minds!  Anyway.  Still stuck here.  Let's get started with the entry.  These potential new universes in our brains BETTER BE GOOD.  I DON'T WANT NO HALF-ASSED DECENT PARTIAL MEASURES.  WE SIMPLY HAVE TO KNOCK THESE IMAGINARY UNIVERSES WE WILL BE LIVING IN OUT OF THE PARK PERIOD OR ELSE WE MIGHT AS WELL BE IN THE UNIVERSE WE STARTED OUT TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM!  There is no LOGIC to a halfway good imaginary universe.  It provides NO RELIEF.  Gotta be 90%+ Good for it to work!  I feel very strongly about this!  It'll be tough to get there but if we can make it work then I feel very positive about living in strong alternatives to current baseline reality.  Works for me!  YEAH.
    Okay.  Been watching Parks & Recreation over some of the last 24 hours.  It's been pretty good!  Just what the doctor ordered!  I don't know if I can trust this doctor.  I'm picturing a male doctor.  Now that I know it's a MAN he probably voted for Trump so I can't trust this person at all it turns out.  If it was a female doctor, I'm imagining a white female doctor, and THEY PROBABLY WOULD HAVE VOTED FOR TRUMP TOO.  Why can't I picture a black female doctor.  BECAUSE WE DON'T LIVE IN UTOPIALAND!  Hmm.  Came up with a real shitty generic game for Late Night Television Class.  Make It Make Sense.  And round one is the host and guest have to identify a picture that's heavily pixilated.  Round two is they have to identify a song that's been heavily... audio pixilated!  Round three is I DUNNO FEEL SOME OBJECT BLINDFOLDED AND IDENTIFY WHAT THAT IS.  There's nothing silly or unique or fun about it.  But it'll do. It's a thing!  Done!  Looking into what to do after this class ends, I guess I might try Improv 301!  I won't be good at it based on how I've been at Improv in the recent past!  LIFE FINDS A WAY though.  My parents were watching Jurassic Park last night.  Nice!
    I re-watched The Sixth Sense last night.  The moral of the story is We've All Been Dead The Whole Time!  Good movie!  I relate to HJO as I ate dinner mere tables away from him many a night in college!  Seeing him on TV is SOMEHOW legitimately one of the closest things I have to a real life friend.  And I never spoke to him once in real life!  But we SUPPED near each other pretty often!  Pined after at least one of the same girls!  She hooked up with him to some extent per my understanding!  I didn't get so lucky!  HEY THAT'S COLLEGE it's okay.  Told my Dad about my phone not working with my earphones.  I'm still paying for my LAST phone.  Got not just my current phone I'm paying for.  The phone before this one, too!  So I dunno what I'm gonna do.  Right now I'm just taking joyless walks!  That's okay.  We all go through different stages in life.  Plus or minus some joy here, plus or minus some joy there!  HMM.  Maybe I should sign up for Improv class starting next Monday.  Before other class even ends next Thursday!  Otherwise I might have to wait until NEXT YEAR.  Lemme think on that for a second.  NEVER.  NO TIME FOR THINKING.  THE TIME FOR THINKING HAS PASSED. 
     I can't motivate myself to smoke marijuana but I'll buy some gummies this weekend. I can eat half a gummy!  That might work.  Everyone is scared now.  Well, half of the people aren't scared.  They're busy scaring the other half of people!  It's very scary.  I TAKE WALKS I SEE WHAT'S GOING DOWN ON THE STREET.  Some people are walking around in fear and some people are walking around like they wanna cause some fear.  I liked the baby who waved at me while I was waiting for Halal food, though!  That 2 year old in his dad's arms wasn't scared OR trying to scare anyone!  DUDE STRAIGHT UP WAS WAVING AT ME.  HE COMES IN PEACE.  NICE KID.  Most kids in fact aren't scared or trying to scare!  Even kids old enough to think and speak!  I hope they've got the right idea!  Probably just ignorant of the danger hanging over all our heads.  They don't LISTEN TO RACHEL MADDOW.  Ugh.  I implored my parents to not watch cable news at all anymore.  I doubt they'll listen to me.  But if I could live a life of Radio Silence I'd be a lot happier!  It's not helpful for me to listen to that shit!  Whether it be paying attention to it or hearing it in passing!  But I can't dictate how they live their lives I guess.  I'm not in control of a lot of facets of my own life in many ways!  Well what if I got a job and got my own apartment.  I can't do that!  I'm incapable!  There are no jobs!  What apartment!
   Fifth paragraph!  I'm imagining thousands of Leslie Knopes and The Rest Of The Gangs out there across America and it gives me hope they can make some sort of difference.  That's a TV SHOW.  So was the moon landing.  AT FIRST.  UNTIL IT WASN'T.  Huh?  I can PICTURE this kind of person existing because I'VE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES.  YES.  IT'S A CHARACTER.  AMY POEHLER IS TEH ACTOR.  I dunno!  Seems pretty real to me!  But it's not enough to have hundreds of Leslie Knopes.  WE NEED TONS OF BLACK LESLIE KNOPES.  Well that's just asking for much too much.  After this election.  Black women feeling particularly dejected.  Can't keep asking them to save us when we continually let them down!  Huh.  I can relate to that!  Partially!  Not completely.  But a little bit!  I know what it's like to feel abandoned and overlooked and like everything is working against you and there is no hope and like it is really always gonna be that way.  And that you're all alone in your struggle.  Maybe not to the same extent!  But I can identify with those feelings a little bit.  It's an oppressive world!  Doesn't hit all of us equally.  We're unequally oppressed.  I don't know what's going to happen. I can't tell you it'll ever ever get better.  I just know I would much rather fight with you than without you.
    Okay.  Anyway. I thought Kamala Harris was a great candidate.  She didn't run on the the ultimate greatest things, but OVERALL I thought she was a great candidate.  And I thought she gave pretty good speeches and interviews and whatknot.  And I really like her as a person!  I thought she should have spent more time courting the left instead of the center/right.  But I really enjoyed rooting for her and thought she would have made a good president.  Personally, I hope she remains a leader in the party.  A LOT ANY OF GOOD THAT DOES ANYONE.  You're right.  I'm no good.  I don't disagree!  It's all a waste of time probably!  But if we're gonna waste time, might as well do it in a relatively Unwastyish Timey Way.  Ugh.  I keep seeing Jay Johnston in my comedy programs and this jerk is gonna get out of his jail sentence now for January Sixth because Trump is gonna pardon all of them.  These fuckin... Ugh.  I don't know what's gonna happen.  I dunno if we're gonna mount an actual resistance for the next four years or just a performative one.  I dunno if I'll resist or disengage!  Future history has yet to be written.  It can go in one of a thousand ways.  It all depends on the choices we make.  As a society, as smaller groups, and as individuals.
   Seventh paragraph.  I dunno.  I'M AN IDIOT.  We know that.  DO YOUR BEST.  You know that already!  Just.  Keep.  Going.  That's for everyone!  Hmm.  Not everyone.  For everyoen PURE OF HEART. If you've got malice in mind PLEASE STOP.  I guess.  What else is up.  Been thinking about trying to work on music again.  I dunno if I have it in me!  But if I DO have it in me, that'd be a lot of productive fun.  I'd say about 25% chance I have it in me!  I'd like to have A BAND.  People to PLAY OFF OF.  Drums.  Bass.  Creative minds to meld with.  I've never had that but I think it would be really cool!  You can't just get a band out of nowhere, though!  I guess I can continue writing songs by myself that are about 67% There!  I guess I can find some open mics and go there.  Must be OPEN MICS SOMEWHERE.  I live in NEW YOURK CITY.  Anyway.  What good is music to anyone.  HOW could rock n roll songs make me better.  Well when you look at it that way They Can't.  But if you look at it some other way Maybe They Can!  Oh sounds very promising great.
   Three paragraphs to go.  HEY I can take Musical Improv 101 in January!  I don't think I wanna do that.  I'm never gonna have a band.  I'm never gonna have a FRIEND so if I DON'T HAVE A FRIEND HOW CAN I POSSIBLY HAVE A BAND.  Checkmate!  I tried looking up Black Lady Sketch Show on election night but I couldn't find it anywhere for free!  Ah.  Maybe if I paid for the sketch show the election night woulda karmically turned out different.  I DON'T SEE HOW.  ALMOST ALL VOTES WERE ALREADY CAST BY THEN.  Oh.  Right.  Good point.  Ugh. I enjoyed the one open mic I went to back during Trump's last term!  Then they closed that down!  Anything good they eventually take away from us!  EXPLAIN THE ROLLING STONES THEN.  THEY'VE BEEN HERE FOR SIXTY YEARS.  They're not that good.  They're pretty good!  FINE THEY'RE GOOD.  Rolling Stones are AN EXCEPTION.  They took them away from us by playing their music in H & R BLOCK commercials and CITIBLANK commercials.  They took away the power of Rolling Stones!  THANKS A LOT.  THANKS FOR NOTHING.
    Penultimate paragraph.  GOD DAMN COMMERCIALS.  When I have a band, NO SONGS ARE GOING IN ANY COMMERCIALS.  That's a promise!  And I'm gonna go out of my way to make songs that commercials WISH they could play!  Just to rub it in!  I dunno if I'll do that.  BUT I SHOULD.  That's a victory for commercials anyway.  They got the songs they wanted out in the universe.  Even if they don't play them Over The Commercial Itself.  DANGIT.  THE LITTLE GUY JUST CAN'T WIN CAN HE.  Probably not!  We'll see if I write any lyrics about The Little Guy And If He Can Win Or Not.   Seems like it's still up in the air.  Little people win all the time.  LORD OF THE RINGS.  WEBSTER.  NURSERY SCHOOL.  You just gotta know where to look!  Anyway.  I'm in a relatively good mood today on account of I'm happy I got Comedy Class tonight!  SURE I did a shitty version of the homework assignment but it's nice to see them comedy class faces!  Only one more session of class though after tonight.  AH well.  There are still positive things in the world!  There are still good places to go!  ZOOM WITH NICE ENOUGH PEOPLE IN UCB CLASSES.  IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR TODAY.
   Sure.  Makes sense.  I guess.  Everyone might be in a shitty and gloomy mood cause of election!  Might not be pleasant!  I dunno.  We'll get through this somehow.  All we can do is START A BAND.  That's what I've gathered based on the last half hour.  I may be getting some wrong signals from the universe!  You'd think I'd be used to that by now!  Oh am I.  So that's good.  If I start a band I gotta figure out how to send out RIGHT SIGNALS.  People look at band for Right Signals From Universe and it's suddenly my responsibility to provide them Through Music!  That's a lot of responsibility!  Wonder how capable I am of that!  Probably just barely slightly close to enough.  Sounds about right!  Huh.  Anyway.  Why would Haley Joel Osment's psychiatrist just be hanging out with him throughout his life.  At home and at school and on the street and at birthday parties and at the medical doctor.  In retrospect it doesn't make a lot of sense!  But we all fell for it That One Time!  So that's good.  I guess I'll see ya next week!  Stay strong!  Be well!  Do kind!  Keep good!  Get alright.

-3:12 P.M.      

Wednesday, November 6, 2024

I Want To Talk To You

    Hey.  I still have to write a game for Late Night Television Comedy Class.  I couldn't do that BEFORE.  How am I going to do this AFTER.  Anyway, in case you haven't heard, Trump and The Republicans won last night in the election.  What the Hell.  Who hasn't heard.  The terminally Asleep.  Those Who Just Don't Wanna Know.  People Wearing Earphones.  My earphones stopped working today.  Bought a new pair, they don't work either!  My phone's input jack receiver is at fault!  I think it's a physical thing, not an innerworkings of the phone. EITHER WAY no music on walks indefinitely!  It's gonna be very unpleasant to live life without music indefinitely.  I can listen to music In My Room.  GREAT.  Put on some GET UP KIDS on YouTube.  That'll solve my problems.  Anyway.  We can point fingers all around at whose responsible for Trump winning but IN THE END I'm gonna blame SOCIETY.  Care to elaborate?  I could!  But now's not the time.  When will be the time.  Never will be the time!  No one will ever accept responsibility and we will continue making the same mistakes!  In fact, probably gonna start making even worse mistakes would be my guess!  Oh No Don't Do That.
   Very easy to fall into despair.  Feels correct, too!  But now its more important than ever to stick together and fight back against What's About To Come.  Things are about to get Bad.  It's ON US to STAND UP and... what the HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN STICK TOGETHER.  WE'RE POWERLESS.  No we're not.  We still have a chance to keep Trump and Republicans SOMEWHAT in check.  But that's all it is right now.  A chance!  It's our job to show up every day for Democracy and make sure the world is the least shitty as possible.  IT'S THE SAME JOB AS BEFORE.  Make the world as tolerable as possible.  NOW we're starting form a much much lower place as we were before.  But it's the same principle!  Do good work to try to make life as worth living as could be.  I dunno how!  I dunno how much we can move the needle!  But we gotta at least try.  We can give up and let them take over completely.  Or we can stand up for ourselves and constantly put up a strong opposition and not go down without a fight.  I know what I'd rather do!  But I think I'll do the Strong Opposition thing anyway.  WHY NOT.
    Who cares what I say.  Who cares what I do!  WHO CARES WHO I AM.  These are all very good questions.  Anyway.  Didn't get much sleep last night.  Only a couple of hours.  It's gonna take a while till I find pleasure in things.  Music, TV, Reading, whatever.  Probably gonna take weeks!  But I'll get there at some point.  Anyway.  I don't know how bad it's gonna be.  Or how bad it's gonna get.  Feels like God is Gone.  Like, WHERE IS GOD?  ONLY DEVIL IS HERE.  DEVIL AND MAN.  I DON'T SEE GOD AROUND ANYWHERE.  God lives in each of our hearts.  Buried inside real deep such that we can't even notice him!  Oh that's good.  Better than nothing!  I dunno.  Sounds like MORE OR LESS Nothing.  Sounds like we're kind of microdosing God and that's really not enough!  I dunno.  Can I work God and/or Prayers into Late Nite Comedy Talk Show Game?  JIMMY FALLON AND GUEST NEED RELIGION.  Can't see how that would work!  Anyway.  What else can I say to distract you from Being Appropriately Terrified.  Come up with some more Dumb Games That Will Never Happen.
    We have to think about the long game now if we want to improve things politically.  THE LONG GAME.  That doesn't sound easy or pleasurable or even probable.  Oh.  Still, probably worthwhile to give it a shot!  You guys get started without me!  I dunno how to start a long term political movement!  But if you need an extra pair of hands and can give a clear set of instructions lemme know how I can help!  Anyway.  I gotta stay off social media today.  That's not making me feel very good at all!  Like I said, nothing is making me feel good.  But my guess is that'll turn around sometime around mid December!  Just gotta TOUGH IT OUT.  Anyway.  I wanna make Jimmy And Guest write lyrics.  Make em write a song!  But I don't think they'd wanna do it.  Ok.  TEACHER INSTRUCTED that I should think about a specific guest and then tailor the game to that guest.  I should be doing this on my own time.  THIS IS MY TIME.  No it isn't.  It's Reader's Time.  SPLIT.  50/50.  IT BELONGS TO ALL OF US.  Maybe I should write for Denzel Washington.  Gladiator II is coming up.  I like him!  How about an ACTING game.  He's good at that!
    HOW ABOUT A BE YOURSELF GAME.  Never thought about that one did you?  Wait a second is that a good jumping off point for an idea.  A Be Yourself Game.  Hmm.  Sounds like a step in the right direction but I still don't know!  Give Guest and Host an opportunity to show everyone who they are in reality!  WOW.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  C'mon.  What kind of games do people play!  And then CROSS THAT OUT because I need to come up with SOMETHING NEW.  Hit each other with inflatable toys.  That wouldn't work.  Some sort of guessing game.  Huh.  LOOK I KNOW YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT TRUMP 2.0 BUT I NEED TO DO THIS COMEDY CLASSWORK ASSIGNMENT.  Bear With Me Here.  Some sort of Yoga Competition.  Gotta do Yoga poses.  No.  Who Can Fix My Phone Such That I Can Listen To Music First.  Alright.  MOVE ON WITH THE ENTRY.  What might I possibly enjoy watching on television today.  I could TRY Parks & Recreation.  Probably wouldn't work!  I could ATTEMPT some sort of Feel Good Family/Drama Movie.  You know like something where the main characters are in jail.  That sort of thing!  Oh okay.  That could do the trick.  SORRY EVERYONE.  I know PRISON MOVIE won't fix your life!  Might entertain ME for 2 hours though!
   Halfway through the entry! You might like watching it too.  Prison movies teach us about Grit and perseverance!  Determination!  Persistitude!  I dunno.  Might learn some wrong lessons from prison movies.  You watch too many of 'em, you identify with prisoners too much, you start thinking YOU belong in prison along with 'em!  We don't belong in the clink.  We've done nothing wrong.  What crimes have I committed in life.  Done some illegal drugs.  Jaywalked at times.  That might be it!  What even is life without being in the slammer.  Being On The Outside!  THAT!  Oh sounds interesting.  What else is going on.  I blame prison TV shows and movies for the rise in White Supremacy.  People see oh if I was in jail I'd probably have to become allied with neo-nazis for protection.  Better get a head start on doing that BEFORE going to jail.  THAT'S NOT A REAL FEELING.  IT'S A JOKE.  Oh.  I blame the rise in White Supremacy in America on the internet then.  That might be accurate!  I never thought about it before.  Just typed out the sentence, though, so there ya go!  Anyway.  I FOR ONE will stand up against White Supremacy moving forward!  We might devolve into a lot of things but I'll be damned if we go backwards with racism.  OR SEXISM.  We're in a shitty enough place as it is now apparently!  We have some control over exactly how bad it gets!  We need to stick together LITERALLY NOW MORE THAN EVER.  LITERALLY.
    Sounds very promising.  Keep me updated on how that turns out.  Oh no.  Sarcasm!  Scary.  Look I'm not qualified to SPEAK ON THINGS.  I get it!  But you've chosen to indulge my talkings this far!  So whatever.  Lemme just write four more paragraphs.  I feel a little bit better than I did before.  But it's wrong to feel better!  The world is still as terrifying as it was six hours ago!  Probably more terrifying!  But what can I do.  The Eternal Struggle goes on.  Me writing entries.  That fuckin' shit.  It's taken over most of my consciousness!  Oh that sounds bad.  WELL RIGHT NOW IT'S PREFERABLE ACTUALLY.  But in general yeah it sucks!  Where is God.  IS there a small part of God in each of our hearts?  And WHY is he hiding?  I dunno.  That's the planet we live on.  Who's to say Why This or Why That!  People who know the explanation for things.  Well that's good for them then.  I wish I KNEW what was going on in the world.  Cause this shit doesn't make sense to me!
   Three paragraphs to go.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  I'd be a lot happier if I only had to write two more paragraphs!  BUT I CAN'T CHANGE THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS.  I can only do my small part in it!  Which is stupid.  Ugh.  If I had better context of how the election was gonna turn out, I could have written better things in retrospect, and maybe that would have made the website better the last few months.  So, I'm sorry.  If I made your life worse I apologize.  Hindsight is 20/20.  All I can do now is move forward.  Or stay exactly where I am.  But that seems counterproductive.  Being Where I Am is what got me into this mess in the first place!  Now, this, "Forward," what are we talking.  Is that a concept of a place or some sort of metaphor or what.  What are we talking.  Hmm. I was hoping you knew!  We don't talk.  YOU KNOWING wouldn't help me at all!  Anyway.  What else is up.  What Else Don't I Know.  Oh boy.  Where to begin.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Put on some Homicide: Life In The Streets earlier today.  For the first time in a month or two!  That program is okay.  Ugh.  Just remembered Trump has presidential immunity.  Almost makes ya wanna just give up!  BUT THERE MUST BE A WAY TO FIGHT FOR ACCOUNTABILITY.  I don't wanna just give up!  I wanna fight for accountability!  We have to live in this country!  If we're not fighting for our lives then what even is the point!  IT'S WORK BUT WORK IS GOOD.  That's what Kamala said!  Okay.  I did my small part.  Wrote a few sentences about it.  Brought up awareness about it 2%!  Now think about what you can do!  I don't think I can do anything.  Well the people in power can!  People who have a platform!  People who hold office!  Maybe some people who are in the judiciary!  THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE MOVES ON THIS ISSUE.  It's not impossible!  MAKE IT FRONT AND CENTER.  Yes we got Trump but WE CAN STILL FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL to overturn this disastrous Supreme Court Ruling.  Even if a solution isn't right in front of us.  If we talk about it, that's step one!  Oh okay good.
   Last paragraph!  WELL that's not gonna happen so who cares.  It's me Suggesting A Scene.  Hey you improv players out there.  That's my suggestion!  Make Immunity Supreme Court Ruling an issue to be addressed!  Sure.  Great.  Maybe Later.  Okay.  It'd be nice to have people in power that give a shit!  AH WELL.  Maybe eventually one day.  STILL GOTTA WRITE A TALK SHOW GAME.  That's what I have to do.  GREAT BACK TO ZERO.  HIDE.  AND.  SEEK.  That'd be fun but I don't see how it can progress after Round One.  Hmm.  I dunno.  I should stop talking about Resisting.  MAYBE THINGS ARE JUST OVER.  But then what's the point of living?  I'm still very convinced we should go on living!  SO that must mean THINGS ARE NOT OVER.  Maybe what we've been doing wasn't working.  But that doesn't mean give up!  It means CHANGE UP WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING.  TRY HARDER or something.  I dunno about that.  Sounds kinda difficult.  Ah well.  That's it.  I'll see ya tomorrow.  

-1:52 P.M. 
    

Tuesday, November 5, 2024

I Wanna Make Sure I Get This Right

    Hey!  What's up!  I voted earlier today and the place was packed.  During the 20-30 minutes I was there, probably 50 or 60 people voted!  Breaking Previous Personal Record of probably 10 or so.  I was there longer, though.  Had to wait on a line of a dozen and a half or two people!  Normally I have to wait on a line of zero to four people!  ANYWAY.  THAT'S ENCOURAGING.  Probably about two thirds people voting were Asian American.  Which is actually kinda low for my neighborhood!  Normally I'd expect four out of five people to be Asian American!  Anyway, I had to look up online how Asian Americans tend to vote.  Without specifying WHERE IN THE COUNTRY or WHAT COUNTRY FROM ASIA Internet says Asian Americans vote Democratic at around a 62% rate.  GREAT.  I'LL TAKE IT!  There were a few sets of kids running around.  LOVE IT.  ALMOST BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE.  NOT QUITE THOUGH.  I DIDN'T TEAR CUM.  Gonna have eye blue balls.  That's okay.  Maybe I cry later tonight if Kamala wins.  Tears of Joy.  Maybe I cry tears of sadness if Trump wins!  I dunno if I cry tears of sadness anymore.  I feel like physiologically that's not how my body works these days!  Tears of joy can be produced but not tears of sadness.  Cool!
    Anyway.  NINE MORE PARAGRIZZLES.  Been smoking less weed the last week or two.  Hardly smoked at all over the weekend.  Been smoking slightly less during nights and a couple of nights not at all.  I blame Election Stress.  I wouldn't be able to unwind with weed so it might just add to my anxiety!  I dunno!  I hope it doesn't turn out to be a key mistake.  Maybe smoking less leads to me writing worse which leads to Your Lives Being Worse which leads to a butterfly flapping its wings worse which leads to HURRICANE.  Alright I just smoked a bit of marijuana.  Let's see if that produces some sort of Monsoon or SuperTornado.  ELECTION DAY.  This is the first day of the rest of our lives!  And it might be a good life.  Or it might be horrible!  I DON'T KNOW YET.  I'LL LET YOU KNOW AS SOON I KNOW.  Sure, by then, you'll have known for a while!  Me letting you know who won the election as soon as I know doesn't give you any new information other than You Now Know When I Found Out Things!  I'm not gonna let you know As Soon As I Find Out Who Wins The Election.  That's not how this website works!
   HOW DOES THIS WEBSITE WORK?  I don't know.  It's about time I figure it out though!  I've been doing it for a while and it appears I may have to continue doing it indefinitely.  If I'm writing this website I really should have some sort of an idea of what I'm trying to accomplish.  That's WRONG.  JUST WRITE.  Things'll probably work out!  I'm not sure if that's the case.  But it's served me this long!  Anyway.  How long will I be doing this?  I got no other prospects in the fire!  This website could go on for months.  Years.  DAYS EVEN.  How sad.  Just a boy in his room at his computer.  Boy?  I'm a thirty six year old man.  I'm actually only thirty five but I'm practicing for next year.  That sounds great.  One could argue I act boyish.  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.  YOU MEAN LIKE I HAVE A BOY TYPE IDENTITY?  Who are you.  I wasn't talking to Caps Italics Guy.  Get out of here.  This was a private conversation.  Wait.  Hold on a second.  Just confused myself.  Anyway.  That was a nice run-on series of words.  It makes no sense but boy does it make ya think.
     Okay.  Seven paragraphs to go now!  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.  Voting. Election!  THIS IS IT.  We've wondered what would happen for so long.  OR WE'VE KNOWN THE ENTIRE TIME.  Which group do you belong to!  I'M A WONDERER.  ON SOME LEVEL I'VE FELT Kamala will win.  I believe it!  AND I GUESS I STILL DO.  I feel low confidence though right now Because I'm A Shitty Writer.  I feel like MY WRITING SUCKS.  Not confident With That.  KAMALA PROBABLY GONNA WIN THOUGH.  Right?  THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?  I dunno.  Still A Wonderer.  Anything is possible, though!  Well, not anything.  But if you put your mind to it and your heart into it and your kneecaps above it then you can accomplish anything!  That joke requires me to know what, "Kneecaps above it," signifies and I'm having a difficult time with that one.  I should be careful not to make jokes that I don't understand!  They might end up sending the wrong message!  Look I don't understand anything.  I can't avoid sometimes sending the wrong message.  I can avoid it.  That's what PR People are for!  I CAN'T AFFORD ONE OF THOSE.  Puerto Rico people.  YEAH.
   SIX paragraphs to go.  That should be a fun time!  Seems like it would be.  Based on past experience!  WRONG.  IT'LL BE THE WORST.  Anyway.  Maybe it'll be okay.  I should DESIGN the upcoming work I have so that it AMAZES!  You may potentially get something out of the rest of this!  Alright sounds easy enough.  Yep.  Here we go.  Gonna write some Extraordinary Paragraphs.  Just sit there.  And watch it happen.  I DON'T READ THE ENTRY THAT WAY.  BY THE TIME IT COMES TO ME IT'S ALL BEEN WRITTEN.  Oh.  WELL I GOTTA SEE IT AS IT HAPPENS WHEN I WRITE IT.  Very impleasurable experience!  I should be thinking Ahead.  GOOD WRITERS know what they're saying before they say it!  I'm not even up to Knowing What I'm Saying As I'm Saying It!  I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT WHAT I WAS SAYING THREE WORDS AGO.  That's alright!  WONDERFUL EVEN.  We need a writer who's not afraid to look into the extremely recent past.  No, you don't.  Nobody needs writers IN REAL LIFE.  Why would they need a writer FOR A MADE UP THING.  Because we need to will the made up thing into existence. 
    Oh okay good.  What else is up.  Halfway through the entry!  Should I try to think of a new Late Nite Game?  How about a game where Guest & Host need to think of a game for themselves to play.  Half the game is Coming Up With The Game!  Also now I Don't Have To Come Up With The game!  Because I came up with the meta-concept of the game!  So the weight is off my shoulders.  That games stupid.  How about INSTRUMENTS.  The Game Of Instruments.  Doesn't matter if they can't play anything!  GOTTA PRODUCE SOME KIND OF SOUND.  I think audiences would like watching celebrity guests make discordant noise on a harpsichord.  Can you play chords on a harpsichord.  Hmm.  WHAT DO YOU THINK FOLKS, SHOULD I GOOGLE TO MAKE SURE WHAT A HARPSICHORD LOOKS LIKE?  Yeah!  Do It!  Sure!  OK That's not what I was expecting.  I'm picturing a regular HARP.  WHAT The Angels Play.  Can you play barre chords on that.  I wouldn't think so but if you're with the angels you can probably play lots of things beyond comprehensible levels! 
    Sounds right.  What else sounds right.  The cow goes moo.  The donkey goes EEEOUGH.  Horse goes Neigh.  Those are Right Sounds.  But they don't SOUND RIGHT.  Unless you're on a farm.  Probably sound just perfect to you on a farm!  I'M A CITY BOY though.  Live amongst the sky scrapers and whatknot.  Bright Lights And Whatknot.  That's the life for me.  None of this Sounds Right.  I started this paragraph with the intention to determine WHAT ELSE SOUNDS RIGHT.  I like Silence.  When there's no sounds!  THAT SOUNDS RIGHT TO ME.  Great.  That'll have to do as an answer.  Cause I ain't coming up with a better one!  I'M MOVING ON WITH THE ENTRY.  SEE YA LATER, "That Thing I Was Just Talking About."  Ugh.  WAIT A SECOND I'M NOT READY TO MOVE ON.  I can come up with a better answer!  "What Else Sounds Right?"  That's the question?  LOTS OF THINGS SOUND RIGHT.  IN THE RIGHT CONTEXT.  ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR PERSPECTIVE.  Silence was a pretty good answer in retrospect.  I like listening to that sound!
   Three paragraphs to go!  Guest & Host have to DRAW something.  Like weapons?  NO LIKE DOODLING.  Where would we find an impartial judge.  QUESTLOVE WILL DO IT.  I assume that works within the inner logic of The Tonight Show!  What if he's ON TOUR.  Then maybe that sidekickhost guy.  HE'S UP TO THE TASK.  Nah I don't like this game.  OK.  LET'S THINK.  WAIT A SECOND.  THAT'S IT--  DARTS!  But they each get their own Dartboard and each is a picture of the other one's face.  How does it build from round to round though.  I.  DON'T.  KNOW.  That was a stupid idea.  What's a bright idea.  They each have to plug in a lightbulb.  How Many Guests Does It Take.  And it's Jimmy vs All The Guests Of The Night Combined.  But that implies Guests really DO need to work together to plug in the lightbulb.  That's not true!  I'm sure each guest can plug in that light bulb on their ownsome!  But we're just giving them the opportunity to work together in case they feel like it!  Guests aren't gonna like this game.  OKAY THEN FORGET IT.  WHAT GAME WOULD THEY LIKE.  DARTS?  YEAH.  PROBABLY.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Getting close to election nighttime!  I'm still feeling pretty positive!  So that's tons of fun for me.  I guess we'll see if that slight vague optimism was accurate or not!  MAYBE I decide I should have been thinking/feeling something else this entire time.  OR maybe I think Turns Out I Was In The Right Headspace That Entire Time.  Seems weird, but its possible!  What else is possible.  1.5 more paragraphs.  Guess that should go quickly enough.  What else is there to talk about.  Grapes Of Wrath.  Did everyone do the reading?  NO.  NO ONE DID.  I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS AN ASSIGNMENT.  Oh.  That's probably my fault.  I wasn't clear about it.  Alright everyone read Grapes Of Wrath: The Title and we'll talk about it tomorrow!  WAIT.  IF ALL WE NEED TO KNOW IS THE TITLE, I THINK WE ALL HAVE READ THE TITLE BEFORE.  Great.  Let's have a conversation then.  What did everyone think about the title?  Oh.  Right.  Website isn't interactive.  WELL I'll tell ya what I thought of the title!  I THOUGHT IT WAS THE WORST.  Didn't like it.  Wrath is too emotive and Grapes sounds DIRTY.  What the hell is wrong with me.
    Last paragraph.  The Grapes of Wrath is about THE AMERICAN DREAM.  What's my problem with that!  Look I only read the title.  Take it up with someone who read The Entire Book Okay?  More like The American NIGHTMARE right?  IF YOU READ THE BOOK!  RIGHT?  I dunno I forget.  That's the one about the dustbowl right?  Hmm.  Sounds dirty!  You don't want dust blowing around you all day!  Anyway.  Probably watch more Mr. Show tonight.  I think it'd be FITTING to be watching a MISTER Show while we elect the first MISSUS President Hopefully.  Wait. That's the opposite of fitting.  IT'S NOT FITTING.  I should be watching MRS SHOW or something to celebrate women.  Oh.  That doesn't exist!  Isn't there a Lady Sketch Show.  It's CALLED THAT.  I'll look into it but I'm not promising I'm Actually Gonna Look Into It!  WE'LL SEE.  Black Lady Sketch Show.  WOW.  Now that I know it's BLACK Ladies I'm marginally more interested in seeing it!  And now that I say that out loud I feel like YA KNOW WHAT I'D WATCH WHITE LADY SKETCH SHOW TOO.  ALL COLOR LADIES would I watch Be In Some Sketch Comedy!  AND ULTIMATELY THAT'S WHAT THIS ELECTION IS ABOUT.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-4:41 P.M. 

Monday, November 4, 2024

A Good Entry Will Cure What Ails Ya

    Cool!  I'll attempt to write one of those, then!  How was everyone's weekend?  I watched a lot of good television!  Some Mr. Show.  Finished The Office. Some movies.  SNL.  What more do you want from life.  Possibly exponentially more.  POSSIBLE I want ENTIRE UNIVERSES more out of life than Watching Good Television.  Couldn't hurt to ask!  Dear God, give me a life that goes beyond Consuming Quality Entertainment.  No.  Oh.  WELL, I TRIED.  Election Day is tomorrow!  Gonna vote in the morning.  Got a short psychiatry appointment at 9:10 A.M. and I'll vote after that!  Oh no.  Sounds like I'll be voting at 9:11.  Never forgot.  My therapy doesn't take 1 minute!  And I can't get to the polling station instantaneously!  Oh.  Sorry.  I don't know NUMBERS.  Kamala Harris posted on social media she's gonna legalize recreational marijuana!  YES.  Let's do this shit.  Recreational Marijuana is one step on The Stairs To A Better World!  Are we going up the stairs or down.  LADY'S CHOICE.  Whichever direction YOU WANNA go in!  What if I'm a man.  Then congratulations!  You did it!
    Alright.  I'm relatively optimistic about Harris's chances as of this moment.  I think.  I was when I wrote that sentence.  Now that I think about it though I'm still very scared about what might happen.  I can be confident Kamala will MOST LIKELY win but scared that if Trump squeaks through OUR COUNTRY IS FUCKED and MY LIFE AND YOURS ARE SCREWED.  Oh okay.  Let's try to avoid that.  What can I do to swing some votes Kamala's way.  Nothing.  There's nothing I can do to help at all!  Oh.  THE DIE HAS BEEN CAST.  Not sure that's true.  But I PERSONALLY can't do anything productive for helping the Harris campaign. NO ONE FROM WISCONSIN READS THIS WEBSITE.  I've never been to Milwaukee!  Unless I've been doing a Fight Club!  And going places in my sleep!  Almost definitely extremely unlikely.  I haven't seen Fight Club in like twenty years.  I bet it holds up!  I bet it more than holds up!  I last saw it when I was fifteen!  Probably would appreciate it more today!  Also I READ IT when I was seventeen.  WOW.  GREAT CLARIFICATION.  WELL DONE WITH THAT.
    I remember David Cross being bald making an impression on me when I was a kid.  TEENAGER more accurately.  Man this guy is in his thirties but he's bald.  That's not normal.  I'm sad for him.  WHO CARES.  HE LOOKS LIKE A COMPLETELY REGULAR GUY ANYWAY.  Fight Club, eh.  What does that make me think of.  The actors in it.  The Director.  Screenwriter.  Sounds like it mostly makes me think about THE PEOPLE WHO MADE the movie for some reason.  Interesting.  What does that say about me.  Who cares.  I like filmmaking and the way that manifests mostly is in respecting the filmmakers themselves.  I dunno.  I CAN'T HELP IT IF I CARE about the people who WITHOUT WHOM I wouldn't be able to watch this content!  Maybe I should lose myself in the movie itself and get something out of that.  Instead of THINK ABOUT DAVID FINCHER.  I don't think about anything, okay?  Spoiler Alert.  I THINK PRACTICALLY NOTHING.  Oh.  Okay.  No time like the present to Start Thinking!  THINK REAL GOOD EVEN.  Okay fine.  I can't wait for this entry to be over so I can masturbate.  THAT'S NOT EVEN ACCURATE.  I THOUGHT IT.  But it's not TRUE.  I'm NOT gonna jerk off when this is over.  IT'S JUST A JOKE THOUGHT.
    Fourth paragraph!  Awesome.  I've had lots of real thoughts over the years!  I've shared many of them WITH YOU.  Oh, good.  Hmm.  Now I do wanna jerk off.  Fuckin' dumb joke thoughts turn into real feelings!  Gotta be careful with what we joke about!  Oh okay.  Let's talk about something different.  I never got around to doing any reading this weekend!  I must have read some closed captioning but that was it!  No Keith Richard Reading!  DANGIT I had an idea for a Late Nite Comedy Class Game but now I forget it.  It had to do with something happening.  I forget what it was.  But I remember Something OCCURRED during the game which made it INTERESTING.  I dunno.  Something where Host & Guest have to compete doing something creative is my first instinct.  Hmm.  Ok, I know we can't do a Jerk Off Challenge... but is that a JUMPING OFF point for something we can do?  Something to do with Sexiness!  PEOPLE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF SEX.  Some sort of Mini Match Game.  No.  That doesn't work.  Hmm.  Meet me in the beginning of the next paragraph.
   Hey!  Still thinking about this Late Nite Comedy Game.  Some sort of Speech & Debate game.  Guest and Host debate something!  Like a political thing.  Guest is Pro Death Penalty and Jimmy is Anti Death Penalty.  Gotta make their case to the audience!  That makes no sense.  Ok.  Crossing it off!  What other classes did I take in high school that can be potential games.  Gym. That'd be funny to watch!  Guest wouldn't wanna DO IT though.  I call this Late Nite Comedy Game, "DO SIT UPS."  And you just make Guest & Host do 50 Sit Ups and 50 Push Ups.  First person to finish wins!  That's horrible.  Okay.  Forget Gym.  What other niche classes were there.  MATH TEAM.  No.  Computer Science.  That sounds good if only I understood Computers and A.I. more.  I'd like to see Guest & Host get a crash course in coding and then make rudimentary robots!  But I should write something I Know.  Okay what High School Class was that.  ENGLISH.  I understood the language completely.  OK Late Nite Book Report.  How would that work.  It wouldn't! Lite Nite Show & Tell.  YOU HAVE TO HAVE THEM PLAYING ON THE SPOT.  It can't be something they have prepared for in advance!
   Huh.  Halfway through the entry.  Gotta figure out THIS GAME.  Something with taste testing.  Nope.  Something with Correctly Identifying Something Besides Food &/or Drink.  Nope.  PICK THE HIGHEST NUMBER.  Guest and host have to write down a number.  Whoever wrote down the bigger number wins!  IT TAKES MORE STRATEGY THAN YOU'D THINK.  Well what's the strategy.  Just write as many successive 9's as you can as quickly as possible.  YOU'RE RIGHT.  THE EXACT BEST STRATEGY HAS QUICKLY REVEALED ITSELF.  I dunno I think if you write 1's you can write digits quicker than 9's!  See, ya don't know what to do!  How about some sort of game with SABOTAGE.  Sounds fun.  What if I turn entire Late Nite Game Premise ON IT'S HEAD and have Guest and Host WORKING TOGETHER.  There's still three to six rounds of some sort of competitiontypething but the guest and host work together and when ONE OF THEM WINS, THEY BOTH WIN.  On the same side!  Hmm.  That probably doesn't work!  It doesn't hit the same beats or get the same reactions as your typical Game!  SO it's not what anyone in the world is looking for!  IT MIGHT HELP BOND JIMMY FALLON TO HIS CELEBRITY GUEST THOUGH.  DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?
    Probably.  It's a good Tenacious D song!  ALSO human practice and tradition.  BUT WHAT ELSE is going on.  Only one more entry before election results start coming in and potentially are known completely.  This might be it folks.  Our lives.  Could be more or less over!  I'm still pretty positive Harris will win.  Probably!  I guess we'll see.  All I can do is my part!  Which is vote tomorrow and Talk Her Up beforehand.  It doesn't make a big difference.  No one from NEVADA reads this website.  What about the aliens at Area 51?  OH RIGHT THOSE GUYS.  Area is Length Times Width.  Geometrywise.  Is that a pun I should think about making?  NO.  Anyway.  Got a bit more left to write.  THIS ENTRY SUCKS SO FAR.  I DARE YOU TO TURN IT AROUND.  I dunno.  I got a good groove going right now of writing shittily and acting like it's okay.  NOT SURE I wanna confuse people and start writing well!  DO IT.  JUST START WRITING BETTER.  Okay.
    Eighth paragraph!  Here's the thing-- I'm typing, not writing.  There's a pretty big difference!  It's a distinct activity!  ALRIGHT THEN TYPE BETTER.  Okay.  Asian guy named Ty Ping.  THAT'S A JOKE.  No it's not it's real.  IT'S ALL REAL.  I dunno.  Now I'm worried about these Nevada Aliens.  They're probably not even gonna vote.  Just gonna stay home and sit this one out EVEN WITH EVERYTHING ON THE LINE.  They don't know about Project 2025 do they.  Probably are leaning towards Harris but are on the fence on whether to show up to vote!  OH NO.  WHAT CAN I SAY to get them to the polls.  HARRIS WILL DO ALL THE GREAT THINGS YOU WANT AND NONE OF THE BAD THINGS YOU DON'T WANT.  Why am I trying to convince imaginary aliens to vote for Kamala Harris.  I don't even KNOW what aliens want out of a president.  They don't have the same priorities as I DO.  BUT WE NEED THEIR VOTE SO I'M FORCED TO THINK ABOUT THIS.  Hmm.  How do I put this in terms an alien would understand.  I dunno-- I DON'T KNOW HOW ALIENS UNDERSTAND THINGS!  Probably along the lines with how WE understand things.  Which is probably along the lines of how I understand things. Which is probably along the liens of how I THINK I UNDERSTAND things.
     Penultimate paragraph!  Anyway.  What should I have for dinner tonight!  IT IS A QUESTION THAT'S BEEN PLAGUING MANKIND FOR TOO LONG.  What would a TYPIST do.  Dwell On Dinner, or Move On?  Think I'm gonna move on.  MOVE ON TO DWELLING ON DINNER.  I can either have Steak and Frozen Fries.  Or I can get a DELIVERY.  No good delivery options except for Subway Maybe.  Hmm.  Might get Subway, then!  I don't want Fast Food.  SUBWAY IS THE ONLY POSSIBILITY THAT WORKS.  Anyway.  I don't think I want Subway, either!  I don't like the food OR THE LOOKS OF THE NAME right now!  What're my alternatives again.  Steak?  I don't want that!  THERE IS A BETTER SOLUTION OUT THERE.  Oh I Know I can fuckin' get diner delivery.  Must be something from a diner I can figure out to enjoy!  They got dozens and dozens of options!  The choices are myriad!  MY RI AD?  HUH?  That makes no sense.  That's NOT how words work!  Don't be surprised when they don't make sense when you look at it that way!  The definition comes from within!  I don't like this paragraph one bit.  Maybe it set me up for a good concluding paragraph.  Or maybe it didn't!  I don't know!  Either way, Had to write it first to see if it would be good or not!
    Last paragraph!  We know sometimes Satan says He Is Legion but gotta imagine Sometimes He's Myraid As Well!  I dunno.  Myraid sound more benign than legion.  Maybe myriad gonna be like a mix of Demon And Angel.  Awesome!  What else is up!  I'm not happy with today's title.  I just don't like ANY titles lately!  Hmm.  That might be a side effect of one of my medications.  If You Start To Lose Pleasure In All Titles Discontinue This Pill!  That sort of thing.  Okay.  Makes sense.  What the Hell am I talking about.  I don't know.  I DON'T KNOW what I'm talking about.  Oh.  I knew that at some point!  AT some point I forgot though and started thinking I Knew What The Hell I Was Talking About.  Pretty foolish of me!  AH WELL.  ON WITH MY LIFE OF IGNORANCE I GUESS.  I'll still pick some things up here and there.  Won't be completely clueless!  IT'S TIME they made a new movie in the Clueless Franchise!  Everyone would like that!  Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd back in action.  People would like it TOO MUCH.  They're only gonna make things People Vaguely Would Show Up For.  Oh okay.  Hollywood don't wanna SPOIL America.  Just show us dumb bland crap!  Anyway.  That's it for today.  See ya tomorrow!

-5:12 P.M.     
   
   

Friday,  November 1, 2024

What About This Doesn't Make Sense

    I DUNNO, I'D SAY ABOUT TWO THIRDS OF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.  Or does it make total sense and I just don't like the logic.  Hmm.  I think it makes 60% of sense and I don't like HALF The Logic!  Okay great.  I'm writing a bonus entry this week!  In case anyone actually relies on this website for entertainment/comfort, I figured I'd give ya'll a bit EXTRA!  It's good for myselves, too!  Everybody wins when I Write A Friday Entry!  Started going through Mr. Shows.  I'm getting something out of it!  I still love the characters of Bob Odenkirk and David Cross!  I might even be in love with them, and the rest of the cast!  Not who they are today.  Who they played who they were in their 1990's television program.  I'm sure they're decent people now but you can't capture the magic of who they used to be when they were being themselves scripted between scenes!  Is that the moral to The Great Gatsby.  Gatsby was never on a sketch comedy program!  Maybe not the version you read.
    Song went over pretty well in class last night!  Three or four classmates went out of their way to say nice things.  What was their motivation to do that.  Because the creative product I made was so exceptional?  Or was it because I'm Some Sort Of Jerk Who Constantly Needs His Ego Satiated.  WHO TOLD THEM THAT.  HOW'D THEY FIND THAT OUT.  SOMEONE'S SPILLING SECRETS.  What were the exact comments I got.  I can't share that.  That's an invasion of PRIVACY.  How would YOU like it if I told everyone all the comments YOU were giving me on things?  I'm just joking I Know We Don't Talk.  Homework for next week's class is to write a Game!  A Late Nite Comedy Talk Show game!  Ugh.  I guess I can do that!  That could be fun!  I don't like watchin' em but I might get a kick out of writin' em!  Games in late night shows are BORING.  Well I got a chance to write one like I would wanna see one!  Try to figure out my sensibilities and write THAT.  I dunno.  I got pretty refined sensibilities!  I dunno if My Class would be READY to read a Game aligned with my artistic instincts!  Rap Battle.  That's the game.  There we go.  NEXT.
    That might make Guest Feel Uncomfortable.  Rapping could be hard for a lot of the population!  Guest don't wanna look foolish or incapable! Rapping would be hard for me Depending On Who I'm Around And What Mood I'm In!  Under optimal conditions I can do it AND I CAN DO ANYTHING.  But under most conditions I'm With Everyone Else This Is Hard!  Anyway.  It'd have to have some sort of Gimmick beyond just Rap Battle.  Some sort of Twist or Complication or maybe just Specification.  There needs to be a third word to the Game!  Without a third word THIS GAME WILL NEVER WORK.  NEWS RAP BATTLE.  And it has to be topical or something?  No.  That's not exactly what I'm thinking of.  What am I thinking of.  What I'm thinking of.  Hmm.  That's a tough one.  Anyway.  Assignment was to probably tailor game to Celebrity Guest.  But most guests are okay with playing any sort of game!  AS A PERSON LIKE CELEBRITIES ARE PEOPLE I can confidently say We're All Okay With Playing Most Games You'd Come At Us With!  Hmm.  I probably shouldn't feel like I can relate to celebrities like I can!  But I probably SHOULD feel like I can relate to People In General!  So now I don't know what to think!  Gotta relate to somebody!  No you don't.  What if you just genuinely Can't Relate To Other People.  Huh.  Good point!
    Anyway.  I like relating!  It's good.  Anyway.  What else is on my mind.  Had a super market delivery this morning and am having an Amazon Fresh delivery this evening!  This is how we do things in my household.  I dunno, a lot of celebrities might be REALLY PARTICULAR about what games they wanna play!  Maybe I got Celebrities All Backward!  Could be the total opposite of what I think.  OR MAYBE EVERYBODY IS A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL.  Wow.  That's a lot of people to potentially keep track of.  Not sure I can handle that.  It's a full time job making an impression of who everyone is!  I liked it better when I just assumed everyone was a Nice Enough Person and that was it!  Oh well such is life.  I really don't think it matters what I think about the character/personality of Celebrities.  WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT.  GAZA AND ISRAEL.  OBAMACARE ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK IF TRUMP COMES BACK.  A.I. DOING THINGS ONLY A.I. CURRENTLY KNOWS ABOUT.  What made me pick those three things out of the seventeen thousand horrifying things that are going down.  Good question!  Because WHY NOT.
     When was the last time you heard someone who cared about what was going on in HEALTHCARE.  I dunno.  Someone who needs healthcare and can't afford to pay for it?  I DON'T RUN IN THOSE CIRCLES.  Oh okay.  There's gotta be better ways to meet and come into contact with people than Running In Circles!  Seems like a real dumb activity!  ...But if that's what it takes! (Michael starts running around in a circle.)  Maybe I should pick up the Keith Richards book and read some more.  It's something that will take up some of my time in a way that hurts nobody!  It might even be a positive engaging ENGROSSING experience.  Keith Richards SACRIFICED SO MUCH so I could have the opportunity to read a chapter to three today!  HE WROTE THAT SHIT.  HE LIVED THAT LIFE.  HE DEALT WITH THE PUBLISHER.  So what.  People write books all the time.  Doesn't make them special!  What if it's a really special book.  Then it's a special book and the author can still go fuck themselves!  THAT'S HOW I FEEL.  DAMN WRITERS.  I HATE THEM SO MUCH.
     Halfway through the entry!  I like writers.  I identify as a writer.  Oh.  Good.  I'm happy I'm working through that!  Gotta do SOMETHING in life.  Writing is easier than DOING.  Might as well write then.  Case closed!  I don't believe I've ever seen it put so succinctly!  Writing is a form of Doing.  Great.  Even better!  MOVING ON.  Is today the weekend or not.  Cause I'm writing an entry.  Does that magically make it a weekday?  Or is it just a weekend where I'm doing work?  Hmm.  Okay I'm gonna have to think about this later, I'll come back at ya with an answer later on next week!  GREAT.  I may have been in love with the characters of Mr. Show actors even beyond them appearing on Mr. Show itself from the 1990's through to the 2000's!  AT SOME POINT though the fire burned out!  How unfortunate.  YEAH.  I HAD A REAL DEEP CONNECTION WITH THESE GUYS.  I'm really missing out now without that in my life!  Doesn't seem fair!  They still exist somewhere.  Maybe one day they'll appear on my TV again.  In a positive fashion.  WOAH.  YA THINK?  No.  Probably not.
    Seventh paragraph!  Great.  Just my luck.  Gotta write four more paragraphs.  WHAT DID I DO IN A PAST LIFE TO DESERVE THIS.  Could have done it in Present Life.  Might have just done some bullshit YESTERDAY, I can't remember!  Anyway.  Last weekend before the election.  Gotta lay it all on the line.  Put it all down on the field.  Leave it all on the table!  We only get one chance to defeat Fascism Once And For All and elect Kamala Harris to be AWESOME FEMALE PRESIDENT.  What if I figure out a way that we can get a second chance.  Just in case.  I WOULDN'T COUNT ON THAT!  There are no second chances!  THIS IS IT.  Hey what if I'm skeptical about Kamala Harris.  I really get the sense she wants to be a results oriented president.  That she wants to do right by the public.  Left, right, and center.  DOES THAT answer your skepticism?  No not really.  Hmm.  IS your skepticism Race or Gender based?  I dunno.  Maybe.  Well she is a Black/Indian Woman.  She's also A Person.   We're all just people!  I think I'm still hesitant based on something else.  Maybe I'm still upset about this IMMUNITY SHIT for presidents!  It's bad ANYONE would have all that power!  RIGHT?  LET'S ADDRESS THAT!  Okay how.  Oh.  Good question.  I pointed out it was bad.  Now it's YOUR TURN to contribute!
    Eighth paragraph!  Three paragraphs to go.  It's okay to be skeptical of Harris, even though I personally am very optimistic about her!  But Trump would quite literally doom us all.  So I'll entertain your skepticism IN A PARAGRAPH but IN REAL LIFE I'd tell you to just Man The Fuck Up and vote for Harris and Democracy.  Great.  That should do the trick.  What else is up.  Three paragraphs to go!  What kinda game can I write for Late Nite Comedy Television.  The host and the guest.  Several Rounds.  Back and forth.  Could be Talking.  Could be Throwing.  Could be SINGING.  This is a tough assignment!  Teacher introduced this assignment saying this'll be a mini assignment, easier than the last ones.  WRONG.  THIS IS THE HARDEST OF THEM ALL.  Throw darts at someone's face.  Something with alcohol.  SPEED SOMETHING.  I'm having a tough time brainstorming for this!  I'm not capable of a Brain Storm.  That's not something in my toolbox.  I wish it was!  What am I able to do.  I dunno. You're looking at it.  Whatever this is!  I AM QUALIFIED TO DO THIS AND ONLY THIS IT FEELS LIKE.
   Penultimate paragraph.  How many paragraphs have I written this year?  Thousands!  Possibly five figures!  Lemme think about those numbers for a second.  No, Roughly A Thousand Or Two is more accurate.  Still, more than your average person.  But it's all worth it in the end because I know you guys really appreciate me.  I appreciate you.  Every now and then I imagine YOU reading this and it brings a smile to my heart.  Why'd I have to make it weird.  It was inherently weird!  I just pointed it out!  I could have avoided saying it.  I didn't have to call attention to it.  I dunno.  If I think something, I say it!  Thoughts are very precious!  They only come around every so often!  I can't be throwing away things that occur to me!  Oh.  I see.  If I feel that way I should improve the quality of my thoughts, then!  IF I DO IN FACT gotta go along with Everything I Think, then I better be thinking good things!  Who's to say what's a good thing or a bad thing.  PHILOSOPHERS.  MORALISTS.  MOST PEOPLE YOU RUN INTO ON THE STREET.
    Last paragraph!  Okay.  Alright!  Guess I'll be back at it on Monday.  What, of next week?  Yeah.  Of next week.  What's your problem.  Whatever.  Looks like I'll finish up the entry before my Amazon Fresh gets here!  Just gotta keep going.  What am I eating for DINNER tonight?  Could be anything from A STEAK to CHIPOTLE BURRITO BOWL.  OR SOMEWHERE IN THE CENTER.  What's in the center between those two dinners?  I guess SUBWAY.  I didn't want it at first, but now that I think about it, it does have its merits!  So that's good.  Still not gonna get it tonight!  But it seems appealing possibly for a date in the near future!  Ugh.  One sandwich based on rotisserie chicken.  One sandwich based on deli meats!  Doesn't take a genius to figure out that's what I'll get from Subway at some point over the next month or two!  You're gonna have to be more specific than Deli Meats.  No I'm Not!  Touche.  Anyway.  I guess that's it!  I'll see ya next week!

-5:47 P.M.

     

Contact: mankindguy@gmail.com