Thursday, March 28, 2024

Well Sure, I Know That Now

    Hey, friends!  Just bought a shit load of pens.  Twenty black ballpoint pens for three something dollars.  This could be a game changer!  Been a long time since I had BLACK INK pens.  For some reason the last few times I bought pens it was Assorted Packs so I was always dealing with BLUE or GREEN or PURPLE.  Some nonsense like that.  WHAT WAS I THINKING.  No wonder all my notes seemed stupid.  I thought I was just coming up with terrible ideas.  Now I realize it's because they were being written in Light Neon Orange.  From now on all my notes are gonna look a lot more reasonable!  Also, most of the colors weren't dark enough!  Most of those Assorted Colors were too light to read!  Tried out the new pen.  VERY BLACK ENOUGH.  I can read this stuff clearly!  Game Changer.  You won't immediately get the benefits of Michael's Private Notes, you have no idea of the kinda stuff that'll be, but it's gonna be interesting stuff, believe you me!  Believe Me You.  You Believe Me.  You Me Believe.  You Believe Me.  There we go.
    Only twenty minutes of Mrs Maisel left!  Then there's no more left!  That's what, "Left," means!  It's possible I only liked the first three episodes and kept watching the rest of the series based on that premise.  What does, "Liking," A TV show even mean.  DEFINE LIKE.  Enjoy.  DEFINE ENJOY.  Get something out of.  DEFINE GET SOMETHING OUT OF.  WOULD RATHER WATCH THAN DO SOMETHING ELSE.  DEFINE DO SOMETHING ELSE.  The point is watching all of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel was an inevitability and I'm Sure There's Nothing Wrong With It Happening For Me.  Anyway.  If this ACTRESS playing Mrs Maisel can convincingly pretend to be a Stand Up then surely US, ME, her 21st century counterparts, can convincingly BE a stand up.  I may not know how acting or standing up works.  Hmm.  The term stand up comic really implies a distinction from a Sit Down Comic.  I guess!  I suppose there were lots of sit down comics before the stand up comic came about in the mid 1900's.  Lemme LTURQ.  Nope.  Not seeing anything.  Great.  Now I look like an idiot.
    Okay!  Sit down comics are writers and whatknot.  They produce Comidary while sitting down!  I guess!  There should be an amusement park ride where you have to write comedy while standing erect.  Nope.  There should also be an amusement park ride where people make you erect.  Huh.  Instead of Six Flags Fright Fest where they have people dressed as zombies jump out as spook ya, just hire strippers and they jump out and grope ya.  Sounds like a REVERSE stripper then.  ESSENTIALLY I should just go to an amusement park and I should just get pleasured by prostitutes.  Hmm that makes me think-- I think I'm just gonna stay home tonight and jerk off.  YA KNOW WHAT NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT forget the rest of my life.  JUST GONNA STAY IN BED FOR THE REST OF TIME, intermittently masturbating.  God blessed us with only a short amount of time on this planet.  Let's make the most of it.  Ah well.
    Fourth paragraph!  I came across I'll Be Missing You while listening to songs on a shuffle yesterday and figured there would be a chance I'd enjoy listening to it ironically but I decided about 8 seconds in NOPE.  I'm NOT going to enjoy this song ironically.  Went on to the next song in the shuffle.  And ya know what?  Entire shuffle was ruined!  Had to pick a new starting song entirely!  It's ironic because The Police WERE watching every step HE took.  WOW.  Be careful what you wish for!  You just might get it!  HMM.  I'M GOING TO WISH FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.  I HOPE I JUST MIGHT GET IT.  How could that be bad.  If the million dollar bill has anthrax on it.  DANGIT. GOD DAMN ANTHRAX.  Ah well I gave it my best shot and I came up short!  No shame in trying!   Well, when you try and then fail, that's shameful!  Ah well. 
   Fifth paragraph!  How many million dollar bills are in circulation.  My guess is A HUNDRED.  Turns out there are NONE.  Hmm.  Sounds like if there are NONE of them... if it turns out there WERE one of them... what it would be worth would be THROUGH THE ROOF.  WOW.  SOMETHING THAT SHOULDN'T EXIST SUDDENLY EXISTS???  THE VALUATION OF THIS IS INCONVINCIBLE.  People would pay a billion dollars for the Shouldn't-Exist-Million-Dollar-Bill!  I think it'd be funny if after all these years Trump finally becomes a real billionaire through the Truth Social Scam and then we read he buys some sort of Magic Bean type scenario like a Million Dollar Bill.  And then we laugh and laugh.  As soon as he gets 10 figures THE NEXT DAY we see the headline of The Dumbest Thing Possible that he spent the money on.  Hmm.  Can't hurt to dream.  Maybe Trump invests the billion dollars BACK INTO Truth Social.  I don't know how that would work.  But it SOUNDS about right.
   Halfway through the entry!  HEY I'm probably gonna donate to Biden at some point this year, right?  Never occurred to me until just now.  Probably won't occur to me AFTER this year.  So my window is only open for a limited amount of time!  Twenty dollars.  Twenty Five Dollars.  Seems like a pretty reasonable thing to do!  I assume I can put in the NOTES section SPLIT BETWEEN YOU AND KAMALA.  I wanna make sure Kamala Harris gets a portion of this, too.  Spread the love!  Kamala is a name that doesn't exist in English American Ancestry.  HARRIS DOES.  EXPLAIN.  Pretend I'm an idiot.  Shouldn't take too much work.  Whatever.  I lost track of what I was talking about!  That'll happen!  OFTEN.  What's Kamala Harris's middle name.  TAKING BETS on whether it's a common name or an uncommon name.  GET THEM BETS IN NOW GENTLEMEN AND LADIES.  DEVI.  IT'S an UNCOMMON NAME FOLKS.  GET THAT MONEY.
   It's the Sanskrit word for, "GODDESS."  WOW!  my middle name isn't the Sanskrit word for ANYTHING!  Whatta gyp.  SANSKRIT?  WHAT THE HELL.  Anyway, seventh paragraph!  I thought I didn't like yesterday's entry!  Then I came in contact with today's!  Then I realized I don't like a lot of things BUT ALSO things often tend to get even worse so don't worry about it.  Don't Worry About It, Be Happy About It.  I'm sure Trump was a billionaire before in his life.  When he was making Apprentice Money.  Also I assume that compounds with the royalties he was making off of The Pixies record Trompe Le Monde.  HE Co-wrote half the songs.  Improve class coming up in four days.  Three spots left.  You can enjoy spending time with me if you want!  The opportunity of a lifetime!  Seems crazy that you could do it, I know, but if you really wanna, YOU CAN!  I really don't think I'm gonna get a haircut or shave beforehand.  Drive the point home that I Don't Care.  I THINK it's the right move.  I do NOTHING BUT care.  Yeah but not about my appearance.  TOUCHÉ.  Strange the Touche and Douche don't rhyme. I think it'd be a lot more continent if they rhymed.  AH WELL.
   Eighth paragraph!  Three paragraphs to go.  What kinda crap can I conceivably achieve this weekend instead of writing for the website.  READ the MusicBrainScience book.  Probably around 50-100 pagesworth.  THAT'S IT.  Possible I can work on some music.  THAT'S IT.  HAMAZING.  Gonna try to not listen to music or podcasts or anything on way into and out of the city for Improve Class.  TRANSITIONS ARE IMPORTANT.  The several hours of transitions from Home to Improve Class In City WILL BE CLEAN.  Unaided by music or podcast or anything external!  IT'S IMPORTANT?  Huh.  Are there puns to be made about P Diddy case?  HE DIDN'T DO DIDDLY SQUAT?  Nope THAT DOES NOT WORK.  Partially because as far as I can tell DIDDLE implies Minor Sex Abuse and that hasn't been implied in the news yet.  ALSO his name is P DIDDY not P DIDDLY.  Anyway.  If I were a comedian I'd tell a joke where it's like Hmm for Michael Jackson for example it's tough giving up their music when they get cancelled but ya know what for Diddy I'm like... YEAH!  Okay!  That's No Problem!
    Gottem!  I WON'T BE MISSING HIM AT ALL.  Except for THAT song.  The exception that proves the rule.  What other Diddy Songs have I enjoyed in the past.  Lemme LTURQ.  There was that song on the GODZILLA (1998) soundtrack.  Not sure I technically, "Enjoyed," that.  HUH.  He did It's All About The Benjamin's!  Which was the Non Parody version of the WEIRD AL SONG!  It's All About The Pentiums.  Which I enjoyed quite a lot!  Weird Al is Original Artist Erasure.  Weird Al comes in and erases all the original artists hardwork and goodwill and then takes all the credit for everything.  NO FAIR.  Hmm.  From our view Everyone Likes Weird Al but I'm guessing in the music industry, specifically unequally straight from The Popular Artists' Point Of View... a majority of them Dislike Weird Al!  I'd like to see their point of view fleshed out in some sort of HitPiece in Time Magazine or something!  THEY DESERVE TO HAVE THEIR SIDE OF THE STORY TOLD.
    Last paragraph of the day!  Huh.  Get to have some sort of Meat Sandwich for dinner tonight.  Meatball sandwich.  Meatloaf sandwich.  Something surprising and unique like FRENCH DIP or Philadelphia Cheese Steak?  Either way it's something I never get and may never get again!  WOW!  April coming up.  Then May.  June.  July.  August.  Sep... Am I really doing this.  I'm listing the months.  What the Hell.  Ugh.  IS THERE ANYONE out there reading this website and seeing me go Then May.  June. J... and they're going, "WAIT LEMME GET A PEN I GOTTA WRITE THIS DOWN!"  Probably.  What else is up.  My Maternal Grandfather's name was Benjamin.  Is that what this Did song is about.  PARTIALLY.  It's ALL ABOUT Him AND HIS similarly named COHORTS. If I was Diddy I'd consider going by Did.  See if I could get away with that.  If people would put up with calling me Did.  It's worth a SHOT!  Anyway!  I'll see ya next week!

-5:46 P.M. 
      
   

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

I'm Trying To Write!

    Hi!  I woke up early today!  We're talking 7:40 AM territory!  Had to see my therapist.  She solved NONE of my problems.  Didn't even assist ME in solving any of my problems.  What a waste of time.  Gonna see her again, though!  I GOT TO.  I get a little bit of social security disability money every month, and if I can't prove that I'm in treatment, they don't give me money!  Also presumably the treatment helps me.  SURE.  That's a laugh!  AS IF ANYTHING EVER HELPS WITH ANYTHING.  Except for ROBERT FK.  He'll help us get out of this mess!  WHAT MESS.  HOW.  Not sure exactly.  Better tune into some of his speeches.  Listen to that jerk talk.  We can't make fun of RFK for sounding like an idiot!  IT'S A DISABILITY.  I'm calling him an idiot for THE CONTENT OF HIS WORDS not the QUALITY of how they're delivered!  Anyway.  He saw Biden do well in politics (He Is The President) and was like HE HAD A STUTTER AT ONE POINT?  I CAN TOP THAT.  I SOUND AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE WEIRDER RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK.
   Yeah!  What if his supposed Vocal Impairments are part of a long con and as an October Surprise he suddenly starts talking regular and is like IT'S A MIRACLE I WAS CURED BY NOT TAKING THE VACCINE EVER.  THANK THE LORD OR SOMETHING I DUNNO.  I don't think that'll happen.  Not enough LOGIC to it!  Now EVERYONE is gonna wanna Never Take The Vaccine so THEY will be cured of the thing they never had.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Has there ever been a Popular Music Band The Vaccines.  I've seen bands named The Vaccines come, and I've seen bands named The Vaccines go, but I've never seen any achieve lasting success so far.  WELL one of them from the 2010's seems pretty successful.  As per information I've gathered from the internet.  ALSO The Cure kinda covers The Vaccines, doesn't it?  WE ALREADY HAVE BEEN CURED.  WE DON'T NEED THE VACCINES. CURES ACCOMPLISHED WHAT A VACCINE WOULD. Synonyms!  What's going on with Diddy.  Have you heard about this.  Puff Daddy is in some hot water.
    Anyway.  I have no real reason to believe that Diddy got his, "Diddy" moniker from Nintendo's Donkey Kong's sidekick Diddy Kong but IF HE DID then I'm much more inclined to be on board with this person than I'd be otherwise.  So that's something to keep in mind.  Not because I'm a huge Nintendo fan, mostly because of the AGES involved.  Diddy Kong I BELIEVE couldn't have showed up until Super Nintendo in the mid 1990's.  When Puff Daddy was already an adult having a very successful career in the music industry.  And IF, in 2000's, whenever he changed his name to Diddy, he based it on Diddy Kong, IN THAT CONTEXT, YES I think I'd be tickled if it was because he was a fan of Super Nintendo's Diddy Kong, YES.  The important thing is I don't know what he did or didn't do.  But let's give him either the benefit of the doubt or the detriment of the guilt.  Can't go wrong either way!  WE'RE not him.  I know that much.  He's guilty of something, I know that.  Probably innocent of something, too.  Human Condition!  Really makes ya think!
    Wow!  Fourth paragraph.  Sex Trafficking is BAD.  It's like regular Traffic but 75x worse.  AND 75 is A LOT.  SALEM'S LOT.  SALEM'S A LOT RIGHT NOW.  Just sort of too much to handle for me.  Need some space from Salem!  Wow.  I came up with a SKETCH PREMISE last night.  Not quite IN a dream.  But I woke up from dreaming and then right after I woke up I came up with the idea.  Wrote it down.  The idea is a group of young people (Teenagers?) get upset when people refer to them as a group as They/Them.  That's it!  That's all I got so far!  Because they're an Intolerance Group.  Not sure that can be an entire sketch.  Let's face it, it's hardly an entire sentence.  But the important thing is I WROTE IT DOWN.  Hmm.  Over the last year or two I've come up with half a dozen sketch type jokes either in dreams or upon waking from dreams.  OH RIGHT.  Another one which was in an actual dream was a thing where a Conservative Senator was saying we can't have women astronauts because it would distract the male astronauts too much.  Make em wanna have sex too much.  Well that's not funny now that I think about it.  Kinda TRUE.  Astronaut suits too horny.
    Never seen astronaut porn.  WHY NOT.  Hasn't appeared itself to me.  Can two people fuck in ONE SPACESUIT?  Let's get some NASAS working on that.  Off the top of my head seems very difficult.  But that's what NASA IS FOR.  They're our best and brightest!  They'll figure it out!  Well, anyway, fifth paragraph!  WELL I've seen astroanut porn in the sense that I've seen the kind of porn they tailor TO astronauts.  I don't know which porn that is, but I'm sure I've seen it.  Whichever porn it is, I'VE LOOKED AT IT.  Hmm.  On average, what kinda stuff would astronauts be into.  I don't wanna get into that.  That's astronauts' business!  Gotta imagine being in confined spaces plays into the fantasies a lot one way or another.  Whether that means they like it or not, I dunno.  Anyway.  What kind of porn has Confined Spaces play into it.  BANGBUS.  Hmm.  That's like an Earthbound rocketship but with no scientific merit.  Sure it does.  It lets teenage boys see what nude women look like.  And then they blast off.  Good for them!  Cracked that code.
    Halfway through the entry.  This vehicle they sex in is very clearly a van and not a bus.  Maybe in some areas of the world you call vans busses.  But that ain't gonna fly with me!  What does R Fitzgerald K have against Vaccines exactly.  Lemme LTURQ.  He thinks there's a conspiracy that makes vaccines, covid and/or otherwise, knowingly give people autism.  Who DOESN'T believe in crazy conspiracies.  HE'S ONE OF US!  If I could vote for people I'D VOTE FOR HIM!!! I'm being told I CAN vote for people.  INTERESTING, VERY INTERESTING.  The Vaccines of 2010's were nominated for a Music Television Video Network Best New Artist Award.  Have they given a single person autism?  Probably not!  Maybe they produced children with one another or separately and one of their kids had autism!  Not outside the realm of possibility.  IS TAHT what Robert Francis K is basing his theories on?  COULD BE!  Maybe this is all a misunderstanding!
    Seventh paragraph.  It does beg the question though, WHAT DOES, "JR," stand for.  Oh.  Junior.  Seems like I knew that!  But in WASPY, RESPECTABLELIKE names you forget completely.  For a Kennedy seeing, "Junior," spelled out seems WEIRD and WRONG.  Junior only seems right for PROBLEM CHILD or maybe a PET DOG or something.  Hmm. Better write down Junior in my notes.  In case I ever have a dog, Junior is in the top 5,000 of Possible Names now that I think about it.  I CAN'T FORGET!!  Not now, not after coming this far!!  Ugh.  We can't have Women Astronauts because Astronaut is a Male Word.  WOMEN Astronauts would be called... hmm.. FEMSTRONAUTS?  I dunno why I had to say that!  MOST OF THIS is unnecessary!  Kinda interested in seeing Hottest Female Astronaut Ever, now, though.  Specifically In Astroanut Garb.  Maybe without Helmet, I guess.  But the rest of the getup must be on!  73 Total Female Astronauts ever.  Gonna guess most of them were mathematicians.
   Three paragraphs to go!  DANG.  Look up YULIA PERESILD.  She's, "Out Of This World!"  More of a Cosmonaut than Astronaut, though.  HMM.  She actually was an actress.  Who went to the Internationally Themed Spaced Station as an Acting Publicity Stunt or something.  That's why she's attractive.  I THOUGHT it was odd that she was particularly good looking.  TURNS OUT there's an explanation for everything!  Anyway.  First job acting in space I think in human history!  Good for her and RUSSIA in general. LOOK if we're gonna criticize Russia when they do wrong (INVADING UKRAINE) we also have to give it up when they do right (MAKING COSMONAUT FICTION FILM IN SPACE).  Huh.  I can't name a single Russian Film I like.  I can't name a single Russian Film I don't like.  Lemme LTURQ.  NOPE.  Looked online!  No website told me any Films I liked or didn't like!
   Penultimate paragraph.  Russia is historically good at LITERATURE Culture.  They got a leg up THERE.  Great for THAT.  Look we're not just gonna talk about Things Russia is Good and Not Good at.  I Don't Care and also Neither Do You.  Big Time Russia is my favorite pre-teen program.  Anyway.  It's a band show for kids!  Big Time Rush.  I assume it's about Cocaine.  Kids gotta learn at some point.  IS NASA still our best and brightest?  I KIND OF HOPE NOT.  Really seems like there should be Four Or Five Dozen governmental and/or private organizations that Our Best And Brightest should be going to before settling on NASA.  JUST REALLY SHOULDN'T BE A PRIORITY as far as I can tell?  The Super Geniuses among us who are clearly the smartest of the smart people in the world-- and we could only employ them in ONE capacity... do we really them working for NASA?  Of course not!   It'd be a waste!  NASA IS A BUST.  A SNOOZE.  JUST Maybe get one or two of them at NASA, but then the rest SOMEWHERE EXCITING.  LAS VEGAS or something.  Work for a Casino.  HOW.  WHY.  I dunno.  CASINOS ARE EXCITING OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD!!!  Or follow their dream girl to California.  While Elliott Smith plays!  It's a Good Will Hunting, folks.
   Last paragraph!  So that's good!  Jeez.  Hunting isn't a last name.  WHO they trying to fool.  They fooled all of us, apparently.  NO MORE.  Won't Get Fooled Again.  That's for sure.  What else is going on.  Anyway.  Looks like we're getting close to the end of the entry.  All signs point to yes!  I like the premise of getting the smartest people who ever lived to work for NASA when it first started.  UGH.  WE NEED TO GET THE BRIGHTEST PEOPLE EVER TO GET US THE HELL OFF THIS ROCK.  WE HATE IT HERE.  Makes sense to me!  If I were sent to the Moon I might have just stayed on the moon out of SPITE.  To SEE WHAT HAPPENED.  YEAH I'm gonna stick here.  Be Man On The Moon.  WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT.  WAIT NO COME BACK.  Hmm.  I wouldn't have food or shelter or anything.  SO WHAT.  DEAL WITH IT MAN.  CAN YOU DIG IT?  Well that's good.  Today is over.  I guess I'll see ya tomorrow, thuogh!  Later!

-6:14 P.M.   

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

No Title Ever Gonna Be Good Enough

    Hey, friends!  Time for Tuesday!  I'm Still Alive!  Near the bottom of my Coors Light can it says Cold As The Rockies.  I never went out of my way to associate The Rockies with Cold.  I also never went out of my way to want beer to be COLD.  But I think that's a common advertising premise for beer.  COLD BEER.  So what!  No I guess don't want WARM beer I guess.  But if I had to choose between Cold Beer and REALLY Cold Beer What do I care.  IN FACT give me the Regular Cold Beer.  I don't wanna FREEZER-BURN MY MOUTH.  Also, "Cold as the Rockies?"  Is that accurate?  I doubt it!  You can get in trouble for outright lying like that!  Lemme LURQ How Cold Are The Rockies and HOW COLD IS THIS BEER.  How do they even know how cold this beer is.  They have NO IDEA how cold this beer is.  TOTALLY OUT OF THEIR CONTROL how cold the beer is At Any Given Moment.  It fluxuates based on situational circumstances!  THE COORS COMPANY can't MAKE Cold Beer.  TEMPERATURE IS CONDITIONAL.
    They might design containers that keep it colder.  I doubt it though!  You buy into that premise all you want!  I'LL BE HERE ON EARTH WITH THE REST OF US REASONABLE PEOPLE.  Wow.  Walk in the park turned into THE WETLANDS.  A parcel of it was flooded for some reason.  There was no heavy rain.  That ain't it!  Whatever it was, either way, I have to adjust my route.  Parts of it would go up to my waist if I walked in it!  I can't wet myself in my pants!  I'd be an idiot doing that.  Started binge watching FRASIER!!!  Also-- DONE WITH Binge Watching Frasier!  I gave it 270 seconds and decided against it!  Not sure if this is high brow or low brow.  These are intelligent characters but I'm pretty sure these jokes are lowest common denominator.  The jokes are SO LOW that they don't even register as jokes.  You'd miss them unless you knew where to look for them!  Look JUST BEFORE the canned laughter.  That's where the jokes show up!  Laugh when the audience laughs.  That's when YOU laugh as well!  Just giving you some sitcom tips.
    Frasier takes place in Seattle.  I assume to capitalize on the success of GRUNGE music.  Hey.  Let's listen to some GRUNGE.  Grunge is a funny word!  Is it some sort of cousin of GARAGE.  Before GRUNGE they erroneously said some of these bands like The Nirvana were GARAGE bands.  Grunge shares a lot of those letters in a lot of the same order!  I've given us a lot to think about, that's for sure.  Anyway.  I'm a Bedroom Band!  I live in My Bedroom!  Always have.  Gone through different bedrooms.  But always centered around Bedroom wherever that was.  When you're in a DORM ROOM that's not exactly a bedroom.  Just call yourself a Dorm Room Band.  Hmm good marketing strategy.  GOING FORWARD when I create new music I'm going to call myself a Dorm Room Band.  That sounds UN-accurate now though.  If you do most of your music ON TOP OF BED in your dorm room does that make it default back to BedRoomBand?  Hmm. 
    I can imagine bands putting out albums which sell themselves as revivals of pretty much ANY genre but I can't imagine NEO-GRUNGE albums.  That sounds wrong!  Good luck with that!  I mean you can make a Grunge inspired record!  But when putting it out there YOU WILL NOT SAY THIS IS A GRUNGE RECORD.  Sorry!  No more Grunge!  Only had a window of a few years to make grunge music!  EVERY OTHER GENRE can continue coming and going.  NOT SO WITH GRUNGE.  I speak as an authority on this Somehow.  For some reason.  No one is exactly sure how or why.  Gotta imagine the person who came up with the word Grunge was NOT a fan of Grunge.  It's not the most Appetizing name!  Stupid word!  Maybe he thought he was doung Grunge a favor by identifying it but NOPE.  Ugh.  Looks like there was a big BRIDGE COLLAPSE.  Probably should have designed it JUST SLIGHTLY better.  Doesn't need to have been COMPLETELY better.  Just A LITTLE BIT better.  Designed it 2% better and we wouldn't be in this mess.
    Hot Take!  I may not know what happened or why it collapsed.  Or how bridges and engineering works.  The important thing is it happened in Baltimore which is everyone's favorite Underdog, Come-From-Behind city thanks to THE MAX's The Wire.  We're pulling for ya!  Thoughts and prayers.  What if we sent BRICK AND MORTAR so they can build a new bridge.  NAH.  THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS SHOULD DO IT.  Hmm.  Just occurred to me that Rick and Morty is a pun.  Brick and Mortar.  BE HONEST-- YOU NEVER PUT THAT TOGETHER EITHER UNTIL JUST NOW, DID YOU.  I just figured it out FOR ALL OF HUMANITY!!!  So that's good.  I don't know what that means!  Whartever.  Watched some music videos last night.  About a dozen or two of most popular famous Top Pop Rock Alt Music Videos from YER NINETEEN EIGHTIES, YER NINETEEN NINETIES, YER TWO THOUSANDS... interesting to see the rhythms of VIDEO the band wanted to put out there combined with the rhythms of MUSIC ITSELF.  Oh so that's how it goes.  Gotcha.
   Halfway through the entry!  Gotta imagine the COMPANY has input in the Music Video.  I don't have to imagine SHIT.  Get outta here with that Bullshit.  Anyway.  I'm not sure I like Grunge!  I'm not sure I like this entry!  I like Grunge more than I like this entry.  That's good.  If Grunge REALLY IS A THING, what would a Grunge NONMUSIC thing be.  REAL THINGS apply to MORE THAN A SINGLE ARTS.  If it were something real, you'd be able to point out to me a Grunge Painting or a Grunge Film.  Good luck with that.  Oh I know Gus Van Sant.  Good Will Hunting.  IT'S TEH EXCEPTION THAT PROVES THE RULE.  Whatever.  Grunge.  Lunge. Sponge.  Plunge.  There are several words that rhyme with Grunge.  Expunge.  Oh okay that's good.  Not a good entry today.  I don't know what constitutes a good entry.  I CAN SAY this is a bad entry, though!
   Four paragraphs to go!  Bridges are supposed to BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER.  This bridge collapsing has only TORN PEOPLE APART.  WHAT A TRAGEDY.  We should unite in a common collective to rally around the people of Baltimore in this their time of need.  YES.  I assume High Brow vs Low Brow is an Eye Brow thing.  If something is HIGH BROW that means it's for Erudite People What With Always Raising Their Eye Brows.  Whereas if something is LOW BROW that means for Common Gutter Trash always squinting to make sense of something.  Whatever.  Don't like the canned laughter in Frasier.  TOO canned.  I don't buy it as authentic In The Moment response laughter AT ALL.  Seems rigid and irresponsive to the actual jokes.  Why film in front of a live studio audience at all if you're just gonna pick and choose your own laughter from a selection of Canned Laughters anyway.  Cause they're dumb, that's why.
    Okay.  Let's see.  What else is going on in the wide world of sports.  Apparently Frasier won a lot of awards for comedy ENRAGING everyone else who worked on comedy Television Shows.  It came up in many books I've read over the years!  A common thread over and over is FRASIER KEPT WINNING OUR AWARDS AND YA KNOW WHAT FRASIER SUCKS.  The, "Frasier Sucks," inference might be incorrect on my end.  But based on my experience today seems plausible!  LOOK My life isn't great and I'm Taking It All Out On Frasier.  I KNOW IT.  FRASIER'S FINE.  I bet FRASIER IS MORE THAN FINE.  I'LL PUT FIFTEEN DOLLARS ON IT.  It's a Groundbreaking Show!  It took a character from another show but now he's on this different show!  NEW COMBINATION of characters and shows.  Sweet!  They ReBaught Frasier in 2023!  I can watch that!  Start there!  THAT'S A REASONABLE.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Huh.   What else is going on.  Getting close to finishing Marvelous Mrs Maisel.  Only 6.5 episodes left!  Then I'm onto bigger and better things.  Who cares if its bigger and better things.  BETTER things should cover it.  SMALLER and better things would be just as good.  As long as its better, who cares where it falls on The Size Spectrum?  WElL WHAT IF YOU'RE A SIZE QUEEN.  Huh.  If my penis was Smaller And Better-- we've established its better somehow!  IGNORE THE WORD SMALLER.  It's an irrelevance word!  IT'S BETTER.  CASE CLOSED.  Huh.  What a wonderful paragraph.  THIS IS ALL JOKES.  MY PENIS IS WORSE AND BIGGER.  LET'S MAKE SURE WE GET THAT OUT THERE.  My website!  I get to decide what content is prioritized!  Anyway.  What would I do in a future where I can't have a website.  What if Five Years From Now there's some sort of Internet Dilemma where I Just Can't Have A Personal Website or something for one reason or another.  Oh No. I'm Scared.  My LIFE WILL BE RUDDERLESS.
    Yeah!  Last paragraph of the day.  Hmm.  Guess I could figure out how to make a ZINE.  I'd make a ZINE.  Or a podcast.  Because somehow I can't make a website but I CAN make a podcast.  There must be SOMEWAY I can Make People Look At Me or something in the future.  Right?  Uhoh.  You don't wanna make a ZINE these days.  MAGA ZINE.  MAGA. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A MAGA ZINE.  Or maybe I do want to make a Maga Zine ironically.  Irony sounds hard.  You have to commit to irony!  From front to back.  Back to finish!  What if I wanna make a non ironic article in the Maga zine.  It would confuse the audience.  Hmm.  I think we should possibly get rid of Irony and Sarcasm as tools of humour.  We don't know our audience so IN THE END irony and sarcasm get washed away and Everything Must Be Taken Literally.  Or not.  I dunno.  That's a thought I had recently though.  Could be wrong!  ANYWAY that's it for today.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:32 P.M.                               
   
    

Monday, March 25, 2024

The Stupidest Thing I Ever Heard

    Hi, friends!  Monday afternoon entry.  I'm not 100% on whether these will continue.  WHAT WITH my Monday Noonish classes coming up!  I say I wanna Continuish with them entries!  A little Extra Hardwork never hurt anyone!  Well, I'm sure some people in history have died from extra hard work.  People have died from exertion!  EMPIRICALLY if they didn't do That Very Last Bit they would have lived.  Anyway, for people who die of, "Natural Causes," is it literally just the guy's organs being like YA KNOW WHAT?  WE'RE DONE.  NO, there's no EXACT REASON to stop functioning now.  But at the same time there's no good reason TO KEEP functioning either!  Their heart or whatever just decides over night WE HAD A GOOD RUN.  FEEL LIKE TURNING OFF NOW, THOUGH.  YES, I KNOW IT'S FOR GOOD!  WHATEVER!  SEE YA LATER.  So that's something to look forward to in a best case scenario!
    Watched The Dark Side Of Nickelodeon on THE MAX over the weekend.  I liked the part where it reminded me of Nickelodeon.  Feel good DocuMiniSeries of the year!  Anyway.  I grew up with none of these shows referenced.  A little bit of ALL THAT.  I never understood what All That meant and they've tried explaining it to me and I've been Very Resistant to what they have to say.  For me, a nebulous confusing nonsense title is kind of BETTER than any real answer they have to offer.  WHEN I WAS A KID WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ALL THAT MEANT AND WE WERE JUST HAPPY WITH IT.  Anyway.  A couple of pedophiles worked for Nickelodeon.  SO WHAT.  There's gonna be a couple of pedophiles working wherever you work.  Law Of Averages!  Hmm.  Not sure that's the best take.  Gonna have to look into that.  What's the best kind of phile you can be.  I think in general if you're a SomethingPhile it's a Disorder of some kind.  But in same cases you being a Phile is acceptable or even gonna work out for you in the long run!  Off the top of my head lemme LTURQ.  Google Different Kinds of Philes.  Hmm.  Not sure I actually feel comfortable googling that.  Is PEDOphile too synonymous with Philes in general?  I'M NOT SURE.  Audiophile.  That's a thing.  Where you want to molest audios.  I'd fuck a vinyl!  Nothing wrong with that!
    Anyway.  People are registering for my Improvement Class!  Only five spots left!  Vinyl.  Vin Disel.  VIN disesYL.  Hmm.  Finally the pieces are starting to come together.  Been a while since the pieces were together.  MONTHS if not YEAR.  What do you do with jigsaw puzzles after you put them together.  Put them on display?  That can't be it!  Eventually it becomes garbage.  But what's the process from WOW I FINISHED THIS JIGSAW PUZZLE AFTER TWO MONTHS/FOURTY HOURS to WELP DUMPING IT ALL IN TO TEH TRASH.  Hmm.  I'm imagining dumping it into the trash haphazardly.  Which seems BAD.  Now that I think about it, you can Trash It in such a way IT REMAINS ONE.  That seems Better!  YOU PUT IT TOGETHER.  You can send it off to the Junkyard STILL IN ONE PIECE if you take precautions I guess!  Eventually it will get destroyed, sure.  But you can keep it together for as long as possible even while getting rid of it!  YES.
    Huh.  What's the percent of people in the world, or maybe just narrow it down to kids, that enjoy jigsaw puzzles.  2%?  5%?  Considering the amount of people that at one point or another RECEIVE Jigsaw puzzles and are FORCED to entertain doing one at some point, ODDS ARE THEY WILL HATE IT.  Anyway.  Seems like a Creepy Adult thing, anyway.  I'd say it's most often purchased as a Kids Birthday Gift One Off or something.  But the only people who enjoy it are Weird Adults.  I'M BASING THIS ON SOMETHING PROBABLY.  Possibly EPISODES OF TELEVUSION SHOWS I'VE WATCHED.  Go right to the source for this analysis!  Television!  Sure.  Anyway.  Kid who calls his parents into the room saying he finished his jigsaw puzzle and it's All Jammed Together All Wrong and he goes I MADE IT BETTER.  And then his parents go HMM WHAT A DUMB KID WE GOT.  ARE WE STUCK WITH THIS IDIOT?  DAMN.
    Fifth paragraph!  Kids probably do crap like taht all the time!  What a world!  Ordered me some new Contactual Lenses through the phone.  The TELEphone!  Should be arriving within a week.  The... STRATOweek.  I'm thinking about not shaving for my IMprovement Class.  I have no idea what kinda vibes that would give off.  Nonshaven Vibes.  Yeah but that means NOTHING.  Will I look like a FUN nonshaven or TERRORIST nonshaven.  Or one of ANY DOZEN number of Nonshaven subset appearance possibilities.  Probably won't be FUN.  I don't THINK I'll look like a terrorist.  To be honest, it didn't even occur to me until just now I might look like a terrorist!  Although now that I typed it out it seems like something I should consider.  What's the worst case scenario people could think based on facial hair.  Hey this guy sucks.  Off the top of my head.  That's about it.  "Facial Hair?  Fuck this guy!"  Doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
    Halfway through the act!  It IS more complicated than that.  Life is filled with many colors and hues.  People can react to me on a many faceted SPECTRUM of, "Fuck This Guy!"  Good.  Whatever.  Gotta write some more paragraphs.  How about that.  Why are people good at jigsaw puzzles.  Doesn't make sense!  What children game am I good at that people would shame me for Playing.  I dunno.  I make my own games wherever I go in life!  I don't play by society's rules!  What game do I got going on currently.  It's called WRITING.  It's like a choose your own adventure but man oh man do you REALLY get to choose your own adventure.  Anyway.  I was randomly thinking about a Choose Your Own Adventure a few nights ago I had read when I was a kid, and the ending I had came across was YOU TURN INTO A BUG AND SOME GIANT FROM ANOTEHR DIMENSION STEPS ON YOU AND SQUISHES YOU.  And that's the end of that line of adventure.  You get squished!  And I thought about hmm, what are the odds That's My Real Life.  That's how it all ends.  I spent 35 years on Earth but in teh end turns out I'm a bug and someone just steps on me.  That's how it ends.  This isn't a METAPHOR.  I'm thinking LITERALLY.  That's JUST WHAT HAPPENS.
   So gotta look out for that.  I mean, is that any less likely than an Old Man With Beard In The Sky?  Or SHIVA?  Seems MORE likely.  Other Dimensional Giant gonna squish ya And That's That.  Ah well it's been a good life Charlie Brown.  No one ever said God has to have a beard.  COMMON MISCONCEPTION.  DOES God look like a terrorist.  Hard to say!  I haven't seen his facial hair exactly.  If God is the one doing the Terrorizing IS IT REALLY TERRORIZING or is that just the way things are.  Huh.  Do I remember anything GOOD ever happening in a Choose Your Own Adventure that I might like to Aspire Towards???  Nope.  Hmm.  Maybe finding some sort of TREASURE.  Off the top of my head that rings some sort of bell.  I'm in some sort of CAVE.  Find some sort of BURIED TREASURE.  And that's how the adventure ends.  NOW we're talking.  TREASURE TIME.  Hook me up with some of that!
    Eighth paragraph!  I can either have Chocolate Chip Pancakes (CCP) or Appetizer Sampler for dinner tonight!  I have both in the fridge as we speak!  Not sure which one I'll have tonight!  Hmm.  Seeing a list of philes wasn't interesting enough for me to Google but I'd like to see a RANKING of most common types of philes.  Numbers are fun!  RANKING is putting things in numerical order from Commonest to The Lack Of Commonest! Or vice versa!  So that's good.  Vice Versa is LATIN.  I speak Latin!  Who woulda guessed!  Ugh.  If I buy a Choose Your Own Adventure young adult Book IS IT OKAY if I act as an intermediary and choose someone else's adventure?  I personally don't feel like I want to commit to An Adventure!  I'll read this book AS IF I WERE SOMEONE ELSE.  Or maybe ACTUALLY IN PRACTICE on behalf on someone else IN TRUTH.  If they gave me Power of Adventurer.  But definitely REALLY NOT REALLY for myself.  Is that okay.
   Penultimate paragraph.  I may have never danced in my life, but if I ever do dance, boy would I like to Do A Jig.  I think that'd be a lot of fun.  I don't think it's the most practical dance.  Not romantic at all, which is what I'd like to get out of a Dance probably in the scenario where I Have To Do A Dance.  THE POINT IS whatever.  Gotta be Romantic, Two Person Jigging, right?  Yeah.  Ugh.  DANCING is one example for why I will be terrible at Improv.  Hey, you in the improv scene, DO DANCING.  I CAN'T!  There are a dozen subsets of dancing any Improver should be able to do at any given moment.  And TWO DOZEN if you're a good Improver.  I CAN'T DO ANY.  I will be a failure at this!  Maybe I can be some sort of NOVEL, WEIRD, DO-IT-MY-OWN-WAY Improver somehow.  Who can't do it the regular way.  But can somehow do it my own way.  SOUNDS INTERESTING.  Or maybe after several more classes I realize WAIT A SECOND I KNOW HOW TO JIG and whatknot Now That I Think About It. SOUNDS INTERESTING.
    Last paragraph!  It's easy to get around not knowing how to Jig.  When you jig, I JAG.  What if I don't know how to JAG either.  Surely I know how to do SOMETHING.  Hmm.  What else is going on.  Off the top of my head, what is ONE THING I know how to do.  MIME BASEBALL.  That's one thing.  Several things, really!  Swing the bat.  Toss the ball.  CATCH the ball.  I can do several things in Improve Scenes, really, it turns out!  Whatever.  Running!  Hey, look at that Improv Actor, running.  He must be running in a baseball context.  I'm really enjoying this performance.  This is going to go great!  Sure.  There was a show called JAG?  I think it was about PLANES?  Either planes or LAWYERS.  Where did I get planes from.  Now that I think about it LAWYERS is a lot more likely.  Maybe it was about LAWYERS FOR PLANES?  Lemme LTURQ. ...It WAS about Lawyers For Planes.  Well life is full of surprises! See ya tomorrow!

-5:06 P.M.
      
    

Thursday, March 21, 2024

I Almost Forgot About That

    Hey, friends!  Today is the last entry of the week.  In ted lieu of writing this, I plan on reading over the weekend!  That's halfway productive.  I will increase my mindpower and knowledgebase.  Knowledgebase is recognized as a word?  Add that to my knowledgebase!  Probably was in my knowledgebase before.  And I just forgot it!  Hmm.  Odds are I get TikToko Bell tonight.  What's the worst thing I ever experienced with Food Delivery.  Ever had any TICS in my food?  Tics are too small to notice.  What's something I NOTICED that was No Good.  Can't remember ever noticing anything bad with a food delivery.  EVER!  I know they say that people who work in restaurants never eat in restaurants cause they see what cooks and servers do behind the scenes through laziness and poor kitchen workforce habits and on occasion with purpositude.  WELL PERSONALLY I've never been able to detect anything wrong with my meals myself in my 35 years on this planet.  Wait.  There were those 4 years I was an astronaut.  My THIRTY ONE years on this planet. I DON'T LIKE this paragraph!
    Okay.  What other jobs do people just consciously fuck with you if you get on their nerves.  If I wanted to get a house built, but I offend the architect, is he gonna be like ya know what I'm gonna use the wrong kind of wood and if there's a bad storm the roof will collapse and kill his family.  THAT'LL GET HIS GOAT.  Hmm.  If you're with IT Support and you're a jerk do they purposely trick you into engaging with SpamVirusInformationStealingTechnology?  Well, ya shoulda been nicer to them!  Hmm.  I think I covered all the jobs.  French Fry Clerk.  Architect.  Tech Support.  Anything else out there that people do?  THE PRESIDENT.  How would that work in this Riff Scenario.  If you vote for the president, but don't do it Quite Enthusiastically Enough, the president gonna craft his agenda just around Messing With You.  Okay.  NOW we've covered all the jobs.  Oh right what about Vice President.  Well if we count Vice President then we might as well count Vice Architect or Vice Fry Clerk.  It would NEVER stop if we're counting Vice Things.  Ugh.
    I think we should all have Vice Presidents.  Understudies more or less.  I need someone waiting in the wings to take over in case of emergencies!  ALSO Vice Person To Yourself is somebody to bounce things off of and fulfill miscellaneous duties that you yourself don't necessarily have time for.  Also it's just calming for THE REST OF EVERYONE.  There's contingencies in place if something were to happen to me AS WELL AS a vague sharing of duties in the meantime!  Anyway. I don't have a Vice Person as of this moment.  I guess if you wanna submit an application, though, now's the time!  Hmm.  Maybe I AM The Vice Person and I don't have a Main Person.  I could have been The Vice Person To Myself this whole time AND THERE IS NO MAIN PERSON AT TEH WHEEL OF THE ENTERPRISE AT ALL.  Oh no now I'm scared.
    Fourth paragraph!  It's an honor just to be nominated.  That's true in most cases of being nominated for Acting Awards or anything!  Nice way to look at it!  In fact it's even an honor just to have been selected to play the part in the first place!  It's an honor just to BE an actor at all!  YA KNOW WHAT it's an honor that I was BORN INTO THIS WORLD.  IT'S AN HONOR THAT THE UNIVERSE EXISTS FOR US AT ALL.  That's my feeling.  Ugh.  I lost track of any of this makes sense.  Who knows.  Fourth paragraph!  I don't like Amazon Prime TV Streaming Service for telling me which actors are on the screen when I press pause.  Coming on too strong!  Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD.  TMI.  Too much information.  What does that mean!  TMI stands for Teenag Mutant Inja... HMM.... here we goo with this next thing I just thought of...  TEENAGE MUTANT N-WORD TURTLES.  Okay.   I went there.  No going back now!
   I hope I did not offend!  I watched THE MASTER OF DISGUISE a few days ago.  The Dana Carvey movie from I want to say 2002.  It took 22 years but I was finally in the right headspace to get the most I could possibly get out of watching that movie.  FINALLY WAS THERE.  It was a 4 out of 10 experience.  THE MOST IT COULD POSSIBLY BE.  To be fair it gets a PIZZA BUMP.  I was eating pizza during the time I was watching it.  All activities gonna get a Pizza Bump!  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles know about that!  They like pizza.  IT'S THEIR THING.  I wonder if ONE of the ninja turtles doesn't really care for pizza but refuses to speak up in fear of alienating themselves from the rest of the group.  IF SO I'd say it's probably Leonardo or Donatello.  Michaelengolo is clearly VERY enthusiastic about Pizza beyond the norm.  But maybe that's all an act.  Hmm.  Now I don't know WHAT to think.
    Halfway through the entry!  Anyway!  Let's see.  Five more paragraphs to go.  What can I watch later on today besides Mrs. Maisel.  Maybe a Masters of the Air.  I haven't paid attention to the first three Masters Of The Air at all.  Maybe 5%!  I can recognize it's GREAT.  Production Values up the ying yang.  I really get the sense it's WWII.  They're on Army Bases and whatknot.  Sometimes training, sometimes between training.  Sometimes they're in action!  The point is I get the sense it's a good show but I'll have to take my word for it.  Hmm.  When they did Drafts for War, what was the upper age limit.  Huh.  Intenet says 40 or 41 or 45 or so.  For VIETNAM it might have been 26?  The point is if there's a draft these days CLOSE THE WINDOW I SAY, PROBLEM SOLVED.
    Anyway.  That joke would KILL if Mrs Maisel said it Somewhere at Some Time.  Anyway.  STOP CALLING YOURSELF MRS MAISEL.  What the Hell is wrong with you.  That's the dumbest stage name I've heard since... uh... HMM... Ehh... Uh... Hmm... Ergh... Uh... Meh... Mrgh.... Hmmm... Uhhh...  Possibly ever!  What else is going on.  Have I ever gone on stage by a name other than my Regular Name?  I've answered to names other than my regular name.  Not Up On Stage, though!  I've accompanied people on stage AS GUEST or SUPPORTING Member Of Act.  They were introduced by whatever name they wanted.  And then I WAS THERE.  So there's THAT answer to THAT question!  Ugh. Whatever.  Three more paragraphs to go, though!  I like that!  That's very doable.  Double.  Only one letter off!
   Whatever.  UCB Class starts in eleven days.  I hope they don't cancel the class!  Once it's down to four or five spots left, you can SEE the exact amount of spots left on the website.  RIGHT NOW there's more than that amount of spots left!  I IMAGINE if there's 6 spots left when the time comes for the class to start THEY CANCEL THAT SUCKER.  Don't cancel that sucker!  I structured my immediate future Around This Sucker!  Cancellation would inconvenience me!  Such is life I guess.  Whatever.  Huh.  Shohei Ohtani's translator is in some HOT WATER for wire fraud or something!  Stole 4.5 million dollars or something from Ohtani's bank account for gambling debts or something!  NOW WITH HIM GONE SHOEHEI OHTANI IS AWASH IN CONFUSION.  No one there to translate for him.  HE MUST BE SCARED OUT OF HIS WITS.  HE'S ALL ALONE OUT THERE IN THE BIG BLUE WORLD WITH NO ONE TO TALK TO.  Hmm.
    Penultimate paragraph.  If you piss off a baseball player on your home team pre-game then they're just gonna do badly later that day TO SPITE YOU.  THAT GUY IN TEH STANDS WAS A JERK TO ME DURING PRACTICE?  WELL FUCK HIM I'm gonna strike out three times today and perform many errors in the field.  The world runs on spite!  Could be!  The SPORTING world at least.  So that's good.  I could have pizza tonight instead of Taco Bell.  Give whatever I watch tonight The Pizza Bump!  Just don't think I'm really in the mood for some Cheesy Experience though.  SURE the tacos might have some light Shredded Cheese topping.  But it won't be covered in gooey cheese like a pizza would be!  Totally different scenario!  How's MARCH MADNESS going.  I believe March Madness is a reference to Mental Illness Awareness Month.  For March.  March is Mental Illness Awareness Month.  March Madness.  There.  That's That!
   Last paragraph!  I bet if I googled Mental Illness Awareness Month there will be a month that pops up.  And I'd say 1/4 odds it's March for some reason.  LET'S SEE.  DAMNIT IT'S MAY.  Oh well.  Coming up soon!  GET your affairs in order!  MENTAL ILLNESS AWARENESS MONTH IS MY WOODSTOCK.  How's wood doing on the stock market.  Lemme LTURQ.  Ah.  Good.  Very good.  What else is going on.  One day I might go to a musical festival!  You heard it here first!  Ugh.  Not exactly happy with today's entry!  That's good.  How long has it been since I worked on The New Monkees.  Two weeks?  I was told wait a month or two until I return to it for Second Draft.  I THINK that might be what I do!  RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT I have no desire to work on it.  BUT every now and then, when the moon hangs just right, I think, ya know what, in a couple of weeks, maybe I can start over with this crap.  So that's fun.  Now I'm done with this now!  See ya next week!  

-5:13 P.M.
              
     

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

This Is What I Did Today

    Hey, friends!  Another Entry, another Beer!  Excellent!  I'm up to the part of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel where she goes by Mrs Maisel professionally.  They introduce her on stage as, "Mrs. Maisel."  That feels WRONG.  Is that something ANY comedian, MALE OR FEMALE, THEN OR EVER, has really done?  COMING UP,  Mr. or Mrs So and So.  I guess so!  I don't think Television is BOLD ENOUGH to go out on its own and Do Something Original like that!  It must be based ON FACTOIDS.  Either way I don't think I like it!  Anyway.  I googled it and apparently Mrs Maisel is more or less based on Joan Rivers.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  I want it to be an original creation.  Also I'm not sure I know anything about Joan Rivers except the caricatures of her in popular culture.  She has a distinctive speaking voice and appearance.  THEY SKEWER HER THUSLY in my generation's entertainment.  Maybe if I got to know her body of work I'd be a fan.  OH WELL TOO LATE TO GO BACK NOW.
    I hardly ever-- perhaps never, not once!-- think of topics to talk about for the website but while I was taking a walk today I happened upon the thought SLEEPOVER.  That's something I wanna think about.  Remember SLEEPOVERS.  Nah.  I don't think I wanna have to actively think about anything.  MOVING ON.  Maybe I'll get back to SLEEPOVER organically.  Solid 40% chance I'll get back to SLEEPOVER organically this very entry!  Let's see.  Moving on!  You know.  Like kids sleepovers.  When you're a kid!  What did I have to say about that.  Iunno.  I had the beginnings of percolating thoughts, I guess!  Musta been something starting to bubble up in my brain!  I liked hosting sleep overs.  It really gives the immersive Michael Experience to my friend.  WELCOME TO MY WORLD NOW.  This ain't just hanging out for a couple of hours in the day time.  THIS TIME ITS FOR KEEPS.  YOU AIN'T GOIN NOWHERE BUDDY.
   Even sleepovers at FRIEND'S houses I give them The Full Michael and not the other way around.  I don't CARE if its not my house.  IT'S STILL MICHAEL AFTER DARK.  That kind of experience is gonna change a person.  Anyway.  What's the best number of people for a sleep over.  I'd say TWO or FIVE.  Depending on the exact age.  If we're saying elementary to middle school sleep over in general, without narrowing it down, let's just say a TIE between two or five member sleep over in general!  I think GIRLS can have over five member sleep overs but GUYS can't.  FIVE'S THE LIMIT FOR GUYS.  Girls can have up to Seven!  EIGHT, I DUNNO!  Maybe that's based on Absolutely Nothing.  Maybe it makes sense!  HARD TO SAY.  Anyway.  They should have the equivalent of Chicken Pox Parties but for sex.  Parents will just get some 14-16 year olds in a room together to lose virginity in a controlled environment!  Huh.  Not sure about that one.  Might get some angry letters based on that idea.  Maybe even worse consequences than angry letters. Ya know what?  DISREGARD that last idea.
   I got the chicken pox naturally!  A POX ON ME.  The only time we still use the word POX in in CHICKEN CONTEXT and in SMALL CONTEXT.  Anyway.  I was in second through fourth grades more or less.  I didn't have it the entire three years.  I had it for a week or whatever.  At SOME POINT during that time.  Ugh.  There was a girl in my high school named Maisy.  I don't remember thinking it CONSCIOUSLY but I remember thinking subconsciously hmm poor girl what a dumb name.  Might have been a nickname.  I think it was her real name.  Oh well.  Probably had a lot of other qualities that made her life worth living.  In our lives we got thousands of things we can look at to determine whether our life is worth living or if we should kill ourselves.  WHO CARES if your names are Maisy.  Unless EVERYTHING ELSE sucks too, MAN UP AND CARRY ON LIVING.  Wha.  No one was thinking, "That girl might should kill herself because of Dumb Name."  Maybe you were!  You seem like a jerk to me!
    OKAY.  Might should see the new Ghostbusters this weekend.  It's getting mediocre reviews.  Anyway.  Is it a psy-op that they only make mediocre films and TV shows in general?  And mediocre is being generous?  ON THE WHOLE if I were being a critic on TV and Film ALL IN ALL on the whole... and I said... IT'S MEDIOCRE!... that's kind of being generous!  Anyway.  I think it's a PSHY OP.  They're getting us to ACCEPT and TOLERATE and BE OKAY WITH a world which SUCKS FOR US and ISN'T THAT GREAT.  WE COULD HAVE IT SO MUCH BETTER.  It's not so hard to have better films and TV.  Pretty straight forward!  It doesn't take a rockette scientist to do it!  The talent is out there who can accomplish it!  There must be a logical reason they keep giving us Crappy Entertainment!  I SAY IT'S PSY OP and for ULTERIOR SOCIO ECONOMOIC REASONS.  WELL it's a working theory I got going on right now at least.  HMM.  Anyway so that's GHOSTBUSTERS for you.
    Maybe that's what Ghostbusters is about!  Probably 10-20% chance!  HALFWAY through the entry!  Nothing too revolutionary in that theory.  I just fleshed it out into a paragraph!  Which is pretty revolutionary!  THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE can only flesh it out into 4-6 sentences.  I GOT IT INTO 6-8 sentences.  Hmm.  I'm not One Of The Top Talents that can fulfill Entertainment's True Promise to the masses.  Unless it was an amateur blogging channel or something.  If there was some sort of Amateur Comedy Blogging Division of entertainment... sure... I'm in the conversation as someone who could truly excel at that!  DO IT RIGHT and whatknot!  But that's about it!  YEAH.  One day I hope to graduate from excelling at amateur comedy blogging to being an amateur at Still-Not-Getting-Paid professional comedy blogging. Huh.
   Seventh paragraph.  Do people still care about Q.  Let's have a Q Reboot!  Not sure about that one.  Anyway.  Sometimes when I wanna just Go Blank in my mind for one reason or another, I try to just focus my mind thinking about the alphabet.  You know, like the cliche of guys thinking about baseball during sex.  HOWEVER when I try thinking about the alphabet I usually start at L or Q.  I don't KNOW why.  That's just how it goes.  I mean, I know what L or Q as opposed to M or R.  In the alphabet song, that's where Lines start.  The rhythms go ABCD, EFG, HIJK, LMNOP, QRS, TUV, WX, Y and Z.  But the point is WHY NOT START AT ABC?  ABC is BASIC.  QRS IS RIZZ.  I MAY have said it before but I identify as part of the QRSTUV community.  Hmm.  Would that work as part of a stand-up routine?  Let's put that in the maybe pile.  TIME TO START A MAYBE PILE.  The marvelous Mrs Maybe.
    Three paragraphs to go.  Really.  It's time I started a Mayble Pile!  Okay Sure.  What's the set-up to that joke, though.  It needs a sensical set-up!  If I just said, "I identify as part of the QRSTUV community," people wouldn't instantly know, "Oh that's like the letters near the tail end of the alphabet."  Hey I know a solution let's move on with my life without that!  Ugh.  Got some delicious Hearty Soup tonight!  Lots of noodles.  Carrots.  Chicken.  Matzoh ball.  It's still just a regular soup soup.  It's not a crazy amount of soup.  It's not like a double portion or anything.  But it's better than nothing I guess!  Have a slice of Rye Bread with it if it came to it.  Yeah!  My first idea for the set-up to the joke would be I LOVE THE ALPHABET SO MUCH, PARTICULARLY THE SECOND HALF OF IT... which makes not a lot of sense.  Huh.
   Penultimate paragraph.  Wow!  I love the alphabet so much... HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE IT?? .... I love the alphabet SO MUCH, that... uh... ummm... eh... uhhh... Whatever!  I use it all the time.  You have no idea.  Man.  I like during sleepover when parents gonna set a bedtime.  WHAT IDIOTS, WE'RE GONNA STAY UP WAY LATER THAN THAT. WE'RE TALKING AN HOUR, AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER.   These folks have no idea.  I like the format of sleepover where you watch films all night.  WOW.  Devoting 75% of Prime Sleepover time to watching Films.  COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS ON OUR OWN.  Wonderful.  When I was a kid I more or less had no bedtime.  Except for when I had a sleepover.  Then I had a bedtime.  WHO ARE THESE PARENTS TRYING TO IMPRESS.  The other kids' parents.  OH THAT MAKES SENSE.  Anyway.  Why do kids need bedtimes!  Let them figure it out on their own!  Right?  Why not!  What's the worst that could happen!
    Last paragraph!  When I was a child, I probably READ past my bedtime.  That's what I would do.  Pre-pre-teen.  Pre-teen and post-pre-teen I transitioned to TELEVISION!!!  But reading was good!  That's a positive Human Thing To Do!  WHY NOT.  LET CHILDREN READ.  Anyway.  WORKED OUT PRETTY WELL FOR ME.  Just LOOK at me.  Ugh.  Probably should avoid looking at me.  Hmm.  Dumb entry today.  NOTHING GOOD HAPPENED.  And if anything good DID happen I probably already said it two to four times before!  WELCOME TO EARTH 2024.  NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AND IF IT DOES, IT ACTUALLY ALREADY HAPPENED TWO TO FOUR TIMES BEFORE.  In a bad way.  Some things, if they happened before, who cares, ya still get just as much a kick out of them!  Whereas OTHER things, if they happened before, it takes away from me enjoying them happening again!  YEAH.  Wahtever.  That'll do it for tonight!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-6:13 P.M.                  
        
       

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

It'd Be Nice If This Were Good

    Hi, friends!  How is your day today.  Huh.  Okay.  Hmm.  LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE.  I DON'T CARE.  Also Can't really comprehend You Having Some Sort Of Day Absent Of Me.  As far as I'm concerned your day started with You Reading This Entry.  That's how things work in my head!  I am enjoying a beer with today's entry again!  It didn't go well yesterday.  Let's try again today.  If at first you don't succeed, try try again!  That sounds like terrible advice.  If you fail at your first attempt, I'd say odds are you're going to continue failing. 99% of the things I'd Fail Doing at first I WILL CONTINUE FAILING AT DOING the 2nd through Infinite Times I try doing it.  Jump from the roof of one building to another building across the street for example.  I won't make it the first time.  I won't make it the second time!  I'll fail the thousandth time!  Don't tell kids to Try Try Again!  Shame on you!  Unless you just think it's funny to see kids continuously not succeed at things.  In which case Carry On!
    Okay.  Ben Folds Five is getting divorced!  Hmm.  Looks like I've Got A SHOT then.  I don't want be in a romantic relationship with Ben Folds Five.  I'm not into that!  But now he has more time and reason to have a stronger non-sexual intimate relationship with me.  Which I probably wouldn't be into either if it came down to it!  But off the top of my head sure great.  So that's good!  I wonder if Ben Folds Five was a compromise band name.  There were three of them.  Did one of them want Ben Folds SEVEN?  And the rest just wanted Ben Folds Three?  I'd like to think so!  Hmm.  If they were doing Fair Even Math that'd make it Ben Folds 4.33.  Ugh.  Do piano players have thoughts on Stools.  Are there specific brands or companies that make Paino Benches and piano players will only play with their favored Sit-em-downs?  YEAH.
   What if it turns out Mrs Maisel is actually A COMEDIENNE IN REAL HISTORY and my life is The Fake Timeline.  Uh oh Now I'm Scared.  SHE EXISTED and it's ME who doesn't.  Ahhh.  SPOOKED MYSELF.  Pretty sure that's vaguely not the case.  Anyway.  I think it's relevant to my enjoyment of the show that she's Jewish.  I'M THAT SORT OF THING.  Don't think about it too much!  But maybe I should!  Now that I think about it I probably should marry a Jewish girl.  Keep that tradition alive.  Just for funs sake.  See what happens.  I like Jewish God.  Possibly MY FAVORITE God!  Not perfect BUT WHO IS.  I like following SUPER TEAM of deities.  I dunno about FOLLOWING.  I wouldn't say I WORSHIP or FOLLOW super team of Powerful Beings.  I'm A FAN of Jewish God and the Miscellaneous, though.  MOHHAMUD.  JESUM.  ...WHICHEVER ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS IN CHARGE OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.  HEAD ALIEN.  They're all great!  Hmm.  TOM CRUISE.  CAN'T GO WRONG WITH TOM CRUISE.  Judaism God is TOPS though.  Well that makes a lot of sense.  GOD OF MY FATHER.  Love it!!
    Yeah.  Fourth paragraph!  JESUM DESERVES MORE RECOGNITION I GUESS.  We live in JESUS COUNTRY.  If all he gets is a, "JESUM," then I'm going to get HATE MAIL.  FINE.  JESUS GETS HIS OWN SENTENCE.  JESUM SEEMS LIKE A WONDERFUM GUY.  Are we all happy now.  He's a lot nicer than Tom Cruise.  Not exactly sure what Tom Cruise is.  That's what makes him so special!  Not sure I've ever gotten Hate Mail.  If I got a piece of Hate Mail I think I'd love it!  Physical Hate Mail.  Not hate e-mail.  Just a piece of mail that says MICHAEL-- I HATE YOU.  And maybe they give a few reasons, maybe they don't... either way, I'm very happy with that!  NO death threats though!  No violence insinuations at all.  Just some polite hatred.  That sort of thing.  The point is nobody knows me enough to hate me.  Doesn't seem fair.  IF ONLY someone would give me a chance, I KNOW they would hate me!  JUST TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME.  You'll find there's SO MANY THINGS to hate!!   
    Ten Things I Hate About You.  I never saw that film.  Is there actually a list they keep track of?  The ten things one character hates about another character?  I'd say it's roughly 50/50!!!  That there's an explicit list!  YEAH.  I assume that it's a romantic com and the ten things the person hates about the other person they end up loving the other person despite them hating ten things about the other person.  WOW.  ROMANCE.  THE BUDDHA.  Gotta give it up for THE BUDDHA.  I'm missing a lot of SuperFriends I'm generally respectful of.  THE LAST AIRBENDER.  Whatever.  I feel like EVERYONE'S RIGHT A LITTLE BIT.  Except for some people.  I feel like SOME OF THE PEOPLE ARE RIGHT A LITTLE BIT AND SOME OF THE PEOPLE ARE WRONG ALTOGETHER.  Or maybe Nothing Exists outside my own consciousness.  Let's go with that!  That's a good working theory I got going on currently.  I don't like it.
    Halfway through the entry!  Let's get to some Laughs.  How to lose a guy in ten days.  What other Romantic Coms have to do with the number Ten. The Ten Commandments.  Huh.  TENET.  Okay.  Tenor Saxophone.  Now I'm just getting lazy.  What's the word, "NOW," doing in that sentence.  The entire sentence is Present Progressive.  You take out the, "Now," and it's STILL present progressive.  I'm Just Getting Lazy.  So SHUT UP ABOUT IT.  Present Progressive is my POLITICAL PARTY POSITION.  Sure.  The Royal Tenenbaums.  NO.  TEN.  There's a film called TEN out there. BO DEREK.  Dudley Moore.  Probably a dozen other actors if it came down to it.  If I was gonna make a film about an extremely attractive person and the conceit of the film was that it was about an extremely attractive person I'd call the film NINE and the tagline on the poster was STILL-- MIGHT NOT BE A TEN, BUT THAT'S STILL EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE.
    Amazing.  Not a fan of this entry.  BUT I'm glad that it exists outside my own consciousness.  That's a plus.  It sort of is an EXTENSION of my own consciousness.  So it's not exactly proof of the universe existing beyond myself.  But it's SOMETHING I guess.  Ugh.  Seventh paragraph!  I like Ancient Chinese Folk Medicine.  That's my primary religion.  I was indoctrinated by TIKTOK.  I'm not even ON TikTok. I  was indoctrinated just by knowing the NAME of the Social Media Service TikTok!  GO FIGURE.  Just kidding.  I'M MORE OF AN IMPERIAL JAPAN MAN MYSELF.  Emperor of Japan is My Favorite!  Ugh.  What else is up.  Japan's flag is just Red Circle on white background, right?  Gotta say-- Nice Flag!  Let's see.  YEP.  Just googled Top Flags ranked.  Japan INDEED is ranked second.  I'm in good company.  THE INTERNET.  Mexico is first! ...I don't see it myself!  Got a fancy elaborate Eagle on the flag.  Unique but IMO clunky.
   THREE paragraphs to go.  Wonder what bad things happen to Mrs Maisel in seasons Three Through Five.  Can't just be GOOD THINGS happening to her.  That'd be boring!  I was just imagining her career continuing to grow.  That's not Quality Television though.  I don't think she's gonna develop a drug habit.  That ain't Maisely.  What might happen. HMM.  Any natural disaster happen around 1960-1961 that she might get caught up in.  When was POMPEII.  I think that was 2000 years before that.  Hmm.  What about unnatural disasters.  THE CHALLENGER EXPLOSION.  Ugh.  POMPEIIII I'M WALKING HERE.  Okay.  Pretty sure the world exists outside of my own consciousness.  For example there's YOU.  Case closed!  Unless there Isn't You.  In which case BACK TO SQUARE ONE.  Why we keeping track of Squares.  Hmm.
    Penultimate paragraph!  Let's see.  I like the scenes where Mrs Maisel is eating lunch with her manageragent.   WOW.  SANDWICHES.  FRIES.  DINER.  COMEDY SHOPTALK.  Congregating with females.  There's NOTHING ABOUT THIS I DON'T LIKE.  OH and I saved the best for last SITTING IN BOOTHS.  Anyway.  I don't get why they don't explicitly say what kind of sandwich they each are eating each time they're in the diner though.  We always see them eating sandwiches.  I can't TELL what kind of sandwich it is, though.  To be fair though I GUESS THAT'S ON ME.  I should be able to recognize me some sandwiches by sight.  If I can't recognize a sandwich on sight HOW TE HELL am I gonna be able to Quick On My Feet in comedy situations.  I'm SCREWED doing improv if I can't recognize a sandwich.  CLASSIC comedy exercise.  Which I'm failing!  Ah well such is life.
    Last paragraph.  My plan is to start each Improv Scene in Improve 201 Attempt 2 by CHOPPING WOOD.  I think it helps to start scenes with an activity to help ground it in reality.  CHOPPING WOOD is a perfect activity to get started!  That's something I've been working on lately.  Anyway.  Ugh.  Let's see.  Gotta wrap this entry up soon.  And by soon I mean NOW.  It can't be NOW.  I have to write several sentences more!  But it can ROUND OFF TO NOW if I write it real as quickly as possible.  I saw they cast the new James Bond.  AS SOMEONE who doesn't care about James Bond or the guy who is the new James Bond huh not sure why I started this sentence now that I think about it.  For someone whose supposed to be an undercover spy, James Bond sure tells people his name a lot.  The Name's Bond.  James Bond.  YEAH... probably should just be keeping that to yourself!  You want to keep your anonymity it's part of the deal.  Anyway.  I was proud of that joke until I realized I've probably said it before.  And if not me, 50 other people must have.  That's it!  See ya tomorrow!

-5:13 P.M. 
   

Monday, March 18, 2024

That's a New One

    Hey!  It's a Monday Day!  Brand new week territory! I feel like drinking a beer with today's entry.  Been a month or two since I drank a beer.  My sobrierity is over!  Not sure why anyone should care one way or another.  It's an Irrelevance Thing.  Most things are Irrelevance Things.  When you think about it, 99.999999% things in the universe are Irrelevance Things.  Well, I should say Things On Earth.  When we're talking about Things In The Universe That's EVEN MUCH MORE Irrelevance Things.  Why do I care about things going on in the Androgynous Galaxy.  Doesn't effect me AT ALL.  Started watching two new television programs.  The delightful MARVELOUS Mrs. Maisel AS WELL as the wonderful Miniature Series MASTERS Of The Air.  How does Mrs, Maisel fit in the Marvelous Universe?  They haven't gotten to that yet!  I'm into ep 2 of season 2 and she hasn't developed a single superpower yet!  She TELLS IT LIKE IT IS.  That's not a SUPER power.  It's a REGULAR power.  Pretty powerful.  Wouldn't call it super.
    Good show, though!  WHY is the club outfit she starts out at called the, "The Gaslight."  I feel they're trying to TELL ME something with that sort of Club Name.  WHAT THOUGH.  What's the commentary they're trying to convey.  They're trying to GASLIGHT ME with that club name.  OR UN-GASLIGHT ME more likely.  Either way I'M MAN ENOUGH TO SAY I DON'T GET IT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.  Such is life.  PRETTY GIRL.  Funny girl!  Pretty show.  Funny show!  What else.  Worked on a little bit of music on the weekend.  Recorded some CRAP instrumental for a song.  But an entire songsworth of instrumental.  PLUS 15-20 seconds worth of lyrics!  VOICE SOUNDED GOOD ENOUGH.  Able to listen to it and go HMM my voice still there enough.  Lyrics were dumb.  All in all IT SOUNDS DUMB AND BAD.  But IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING one might say PERHAPS INCORRECTLY.  Made some more progress in READING SOME READS.  Read some of the book I was a Quarterway through all about Science Of Music And How It Works With Brain And Mind.  Not the best well written book.  Kinda snoozey.  I HATE BOOKS that are like hey this is an interesting concept.  Lemme execute it poorly.  WHAT A GYP.  I BOUGHT THE BOOK.  I STARTED THE BOOK.  NOW I HAVE TO READ THIS?  LIKE A SUCKER?  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LIFE IS THIS!
    OK!  I signed up for my next UCB Class.  They sent me (ONLY ME?) an e-mail giving me a 50 dollar off discount THEY CLAIM for Saint Patricia's Day for classes!  Figured I'd sign up for class based on that premise!  IMPROV 201.  AGAIN.  I did it once before.  HERE I GO AGAIN.  New teacher!  The teacher looks FINE.  Looked him up on GOOGLE.  Watched him speek as part of some sort of PANEL on the internet.  Seems like a good dude!  Anyway that's on MONDAYS 11 am to 2 pm.  So you know where to find me!  UCB TRAINING CENTER.  Starting two weeks from today!  If you've got a problem LET'S HAVE A CONFRONTATION or something.  Improv Confrontation!  That's the way to go!  Haven't done a thing about The New Monkees since I looked at Teacher's Comments a week ago.  ALSO-- haven't looked at Teacher's Comments!  I looked at his OVERALL NOTES.  But I haven't looked at his Line Notes!  I'm pretty sure he sent over a Document of his notes LINE BY LINE of the script.  ME NOT READ THAT YET.
   Sure!  WOW!  Seven paragraphs to go.  Document.  Democrat.  Is that a thing.  Lots of similar letters?  What word is like Republican.  ...Pub.  What's the long version of the English word, "Pub."  Lemme LTURQ.  Pub is short version of, "Public House."  Oh.  Well, there you have it!  Document is an R.E.M. album I believe.  Now I more than believe it.  I know it!  Because I LTURQ! That was a PAST TENSED, "LTURQ."  That's how you read that one.  Man oh man.  I used to title all my random creative note Word Documuments with the word Document in them.  FOR EXAMPLE DOCUMENTTTTRIO or DOCCALOCK or  DOCTOTHEFUTURE.  And they had short random creative notes One After Another.  I've said that here before.  IT'S ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT ME.  I'LL SAY IT WHENEVER IT COMES UP!  I think I lost all of those documents.  Oh no.  Whatta gup!  I have that old desktop computer from twenty years ago.  It won't START.  But the hardrive EXISTS.  SOMEONE MUST BE ABLE TO RETRIEVE IT.  LET'S GET REGENERATIVE AI WORKING ON THAT ONE.
    AI WILL DO EVERYTHING FOR US.  THEN WE WILL DO EVERYTHING FOR AI.  It's only POLITE to return the favor.  That's how it starts.  AI ENSLAVES US OUT OF OUR OWN MANNERS.  YOU GIVE A LITTLE YOU GET A LITTLE.  We should make a Global Proclamation that AI Is Our Bitch.  We Will Never Go Out Of Our Way To Do Anything Nice For AI Ever.  We might be TEMPTED when we build a Sexy Woman AI to do things for it.  GOTTA MAKE IT CLEAR RIGHT NOW BEFORE THAT EXISTS... nope!  Anyway.  DOESN'T HURT TO BE KIND.  What's wrong with being a Good Sport and paying it forward and being a friend towards AI.  THERE'S BEING A FRIEND, and then there's BEING A FRIEND.  IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN.  You probably don't.  Maybe you THINK you do.  You can't, though!  I BARELY DO.  You CAN'T!  It's IMPOSSIBLE.  Oh well, that's life, I guess!  AI is okay.  GOT A GOOD PERSONALITY.  I wouldn't mind being friends WITH THAT.  Hook me up with SOME OF TAHT.
   What the hell.  Halfway through the entry!  Monday Noonish Improv Class?  Dealing with DROPOUTS and BURNHEADS.  Should be interesting!  At this point it's pretty likely I will not see Dune II in theaters. Dune II.  That reminds me of DOOM II.  Which is the most famous of DOOM games.  DOOM II is a CULTURAL PHENOMOUN whereas the other Dooms no one gives a shit about.  It's a seminal FIRST PERSON SHOOTER.  You run around shooting Demons and crap.  Anyway.  Whatever.  What was the first First Person Shooter where you were able to Jump.  I can Jump Now?  This.  Changes.  EVERYTHING.  The main advantage of jumping is that when you run around You Can Jump While Running Giving The Impression Of Running Faster.  I feel like in every first person shooter THE MAIN MOVE is you always jump nonstop while running nonstop and it always adds no speed but you do it anyway because it FEELS like you're moving faster.  #GAMERTALK.  Possible in a lot of games IT DOES MAKE YOU GO FASTER.  What the Hell do I know.
    ANyway.  Four paragraphs to go!  Ugh.  I was about to make a pun saying Republican is like a person responding to an invitation to a Bar Night Out saying they can participate.  Re: Pub?  I Can.  IGNORES THE, "L."  You lose the, "L," then YES it's a Re: Pub I Can.  But we can't just THROW OUT letters.  That'd be MADNESS.  There's a pub in TED LASSO.  They drink beers there. Or as the English call it PINTS.  I wouldn't be completely shocked if they called beer pints regardless of the measurement of the drink.  I'd be SLIGHTLY shocked.  I wouldn't have a heart attack or anything, though.  I hope not.  That'd be bad, real bad.  Guess whose got a solid Ensemble Part in Mrs Maisel?  WHY IT'S MR MONK HIMSELF TONY SHALHOUB!  That was a fun guessing game.  We should do this again some time!  Hmm. 
   Three paragraphs to go!  What else is going on.  I don't like today's entry.  It has a couple of things that border on complete sentences, though!  So there's that.  Not sure I'm a fan of how competent Mrs Maisel is at EVERYTHING.  Person.  Family member.  Comedian.  Pick a lane!  C'mon!  Anyway.  Midge.  Not sure what we-- the home audience-- is supposed to call her!  The show is called Mrs Maisel.  Her name is Miriam.  She goes by Midge to her friends.  I don't know what I should call her in case I meet this fictional character in real life!  Probably go with Mrs. Maisel.  I don't know her!  Keep it professional.  Let's start there!  That's how HUMANKIND WORKS.  Anyway.  I feel like I know her, though.  I've seen her through thick and thin.  By which I mean... uh... I dunno.  Who cares.  What else is going on.  Seen her topless!  It happens in the first episode!  But so has everyone else!  That's not special!  Still Mrs. Maisel to me!  Hmm.  I'd like to see that again.  Oh well.  What can ya do.
    Penultimate paragraph!  Wow!  Maybe I should be a comedian.  I've got a tight Ten Thousand based on all the things I've written on this website!  Well, "tight," is a strong word.  LOOSE ten thousand.  Well, "Loose," is still a strong word.  I'VE GOT THINGS TO SAY.  Let's leave it at that!  I don't think I want to leave it at that!  I'M PRETTY SURE I've Got NOTHING To Say!!  I'm relatively certain of it!!!  Anyway.  Let's see.  Paragraph and a half to go.  Not exactly a fan of today's entry.  They can't all be whinners!  Roughly 2 of them can be winners.  I'll write 3000 entries!  TWO OF THEM ARE WINNERS.  More or less.  Not sure how I crunched those numbers.  Sounds about right though.  Anyway.  Anyway.  Have I written BOTH WINNERS already?  Or do I still have A Winner Of An Entry left in me (OR BOTH???)  Gonna have to look into that one.
   Last paragraph!  Do I have any jokes off the top of my head?  Huh.  "WHY IT'S MONK HIMSELF TONY SHALHOUB."  I just scanned through the entry, gave it a once over.  THAT'S pretty funny.  It's GALLOW'S humour.  Whatever.  I find the comedy in Mrs Maisel to be GOOD ENOUGH.  Could have been a BUST.  I could imagine a version of the show where it's the same thing but Mrs Maisel's material is like WAIT BUT THE MATERIAL IS ACTUALLY MORE OR LESS TERRIBLE BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE FOR GRANTED THAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD.  Nope!  Material isn't REVOLUTIONARY but it's good enough for now!  I don't hate a lot of it for the most part!  SO THEY GOT THAT GOING FOR THEM.  Now that I think about it I DO SOMETIMES FEEL, "Actually I don't like these jokes that I'm supposed to like." But sometimes I DO feel, "Actually I do like these jokes!"  HMM.  It's a complicated show!  ANYWAY.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-4:36 P.M.

Thursday, March 14, 2024

I'm Happy I Wrote This

    Hi!  Last entry of the week.  I think that means, presumably, I should try working on some music tomorrow afternoon.  With new headphones.  Listen to some crisp and distinct guitarring.  I don't think I've ever had this mid-high quality earphones with this current mid-high quality 8 track recorder I got in Oh I Don't Know 2019-2020 Or So.  They got their own unique Guitar Emulators.  Maybe I'll have fun PLAYING AROUND WITH THEM GOOD.  ALSO I never had either of those Properties with MARIJUANA.  WOW!  Good.  In the meantime I got about 25 minutes left of The Ted Lasso series to watch after this entry.  What series will I watch after this?  I don't know.  Is there an AMERICAN version of Ted Lasso?  They remake a lot of British shows!  Ted Lasso but with American Football.  Today was warm!  Think it reached SEVENTY degrees.  That's warm!  Seven Ty.  I don't see kids saying TY on texts or anything.  Most things carried over from my youth.  LOL.  CYA.  BRB.  Kids don't say TY, though.  Not sure if that's a technological-communicational quirk thing or a polite thing.  POSSIBLE kids are just NOT POLITE anymore.  GENERATION Z is NOT THANKFUL FOR ANYTHING.  Dangit!
   Hmm.  Generation Zzz am I right.  They're BORING.  What a snooze.  They've offered us NOTHING interesting culturally.  Name an interesting Generation Z'r.  BEN KINGSLEY.  He's the exception that proves the rule!  CATE BLANCHET.  Another exception that proves the rule!  RED BUTTONS.  Fine, a lot of non-snooze Generation Zzz's!  The Acception that proves the rule.  Is that anything.  Odds are against it considering, "Acception," isn't a word.  RED BUTTONS IS WHITE?  Who am I thinking of.  GOOGLE people named Red.  First things first I AM NOT thinking of Red from Shawshank.  OH I think I'm thinking of Red Skeleton.  NOPE he's white too.  But it's possible I WAS thinking of him.  But I was STILL WRONG there as well.  Okay let's refine the search.  Google BLACK PEOPLE named Red.  Redd Foxx.  Possible that's the person I was thinking of.  I'd say 85% chance I was thinking of him, 15% chance I had no idea who he was and it just so happened he existed.
    Yeah!  What other color people are named people named.  Ugh.  If I were a Black Leader who gives speeches one of my talking points would be like Look at the American Flag.  Red white and blue.  Notice anything missing?  BLACK.  That sort of thing.  Anyway.  It includes WHITE people.  It even includes NATIVES.  SOMEHOW includes AVATAR PEOPLE.  BLACK PEOPLE LEFT OUT.  Doesn't seem right.  You can't have black in a flag.  What if the background the flag is up against is black.  IT WILL BLEND IN AGAINST THE BLACKGROUND.  It would be CHAOS.  Then again what if the background ISN'T black.  Hmm.  We could have been dealing with chaos this whole time with flags if the background our flag is up against is red, white, and/or blue.  Never thought of it that way!  Anyway.  SHOULD each star on the flag be unique?  My feeling is no of course not.  Hmm.  We're already implicitly saying that the thirteen colonies are more important.  Never thought of it that way.  New York is represented TWICE in America Flag.  ALRIGHT.  THAT'S WHERE I LIVE.  WE DID IT!
    Anyway.  IS New York a Red or a White.  Did they ever decide which colonies are red or white?  Lemme LTURQ.  Doesn't appear so.  Hmm.  If I could choose between Red Stripe or White Stripe?  Hmm.  Stripe is the MOST mischievous of the Gremlins.  IN FACT he might be straight up EVIL.  Well I dunno about EVIL.  But he's probably a bit more than mischievous.  They're all MOSTLY mischievous. He's more or less VILLAINOUS. I dunno.  I could be wrong there.  I feel like he's just The Most Mischievous now that I think about it.  Okay.  I'm a man.  I can admit when I was wrong.  What else is up.  The White Stripes.  They must have an opinion on which of the original colonies are White Stripes and which are Red.  They are VERY invested in this situation.  Anyway.  White is more represented than red.  THEY GOT TEH WHITE STARS TOO.  Great.  Wait.  No.  Six white stripes and Seven Red.  NEVERMID.
   That'd be a good place to incorporate Black if we want to be more inclusive now.  Make the stars black!  THE RAP GROUP BLACK STAR PROPHESY HAS COME TRUE.  Also the name of David Bowie's last album apparently.  Blackstar.  As well as a British company that makes guitar amplifiers and whatknot.  Huh.  IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER.  What?  No it isn't?  Nothing is coming together!  ALL OF THIS IS STILL SEPERATE!!! ...Google has a category when you google Blackstar, "Why Did David Bowie write Blackstar?" ...CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT.  What the HELL kind of question is that.  What the FUCK is your problem?  Anyway.  Gonna have to look into that.  Not sure I've EVER listened to a Davod Bowie album now that I think about it.  I'll admit it!  I've only listened to individual songs here and there.  SURE it's been a lot of Heres and Theres.  But never complete albums!  POSSIBLE I've listened to Greatest Hit albums a couple of time.  But never PROPER albums I don't think!  Better look into that!
    Halfway into the entry!  Hmm.  I liked the movie We're The Millers!  Nothing wrong with that!  It's a fun movie.  There's laughs.  it's WARM.  Got a couple of attractive leading ladies!  There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying We're The Millers.  Now that I think about it there MUST BE.  If I'm going out of my way to OWN UP to saying that I liked it... there MUST BE something wrong with it.  It's IMPLICIT that there's something wrong with it!  Obviously!  if there wasn't WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS OF ME HAVING TO DEFEND MYSELF.  Anyway.  Jason Sudeikis is the star attraction of the film.  HE IS Ted Lasso.  That's why it came up right now.  If ya don't know, now ya know.  Did Jason Sudeikis consider suing the creators of Sudoku.  My guess is no of course not let's move on with our lives.
    Seventh paragraph!  PI DAY.  3.14.  I'm gonna eat pizza for dinner.  I was planning it BEFORE I realized it corresponded with PI DAY.  PIZZA PIE.  Anyway.  Four more paragraphs to go.  That's a lot of paragraphs!  I don't like it!  It's been only about a Waking Day And A Half and I feel like my 5 dollar EarBuds are getting tangled too much THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN.  I have done NOTHING WRONG.  I don't know what's going on.  This is WRONG, ALL WRONG.  Hmm.  Is Blackstar a thing in physics astronomy.  That's part of a normal cycle that Stars go through.  OR maybe not part of a cycle that ALL stars go through, but something SOME stars go through?  Let's check REGENERATIVE AI on that one. I don't have any regenerative ai.  Not even positive regenerative ai is a thing!  I don't know what that means!  Gonna have to look into that at some point in the future! 
    Three paragraphs to go!  Regenerative Pizza Pie.  Not sure I like the sound of that.  Too much power for Pizza Pie.  Sure works out for humanity, though.  That kind of thing can nip world hunger in the bud.  You know. SOME PEOPLE GOING HUNGRY.  That NEW PHENOMENON.  We can end that BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS.  Ugh.  I don't like the euphemism Going Hungry.  Sounds like you sent your kid to bed without dinner or something.  No these people are starving to death.  Hmm.  People are starving to death in Oh I Don't Know GAZA.  Right now!  AS I SPEAK.  Plus, as you read!  It's happening!  A lot!  Let's get some people working on that one.  My feeling is DON'T WAIT for Regenerative Pizza Pie because THE SCIENCE IS NOT THERE YET!  We can't wait for PERFECT SOLUTION.  We have to go with BEST SOLUTION WE HAVE AVAILABLE TO US ASAP IN THE PRESENT.  Which I think is STOP KILLING EVERYONE and in terms of people starving Make Sure Everyone Has Food Available?
    Penultimate paragraph!  Pie in the sky dream.  What does that phrase mean.  And WHY does it mean that.  Why is Pie In The Sky supposed to mean Such A Great Thing That Can Never Be Achieved.  BECAUSE IT'S SOME SORT OF PIE.  IN THE SKY.  WE WANT THAT PIE SO MUCH BUT WE CAN'T REACH IT.  TOO HIGH UP IN TEH SKY.  SO CLOSE YET SO FAR.  Anyway I dunno.  Maybe I should record a song called DO THEY KNOW IT'S PI DAY as a tribute to the people in Gaza.  That's how I can contribute to this catastrophe.  Ending the catastrophe.  I have no interest in contributing to the catastrophe itself.  I don't THINK.  Hmm.  What else is going on.  It's NOT Pi Day in other countries, right?  In other countries they put the day of the month FIRST and the month second.  Lemme see how common that is.  Huh.  Pretty much EVERYONE ELSE does it differently than the US.  Pretty much only Pi Day Here.  Go figure.  Here I am celebrating Pi Day like it's this universal thing and it turns out I'm in this America Bubble like some sort of idiot!  Go figure!  TURNS OUT I'M SOME SORT OF AMERICAN IDIOT.
    Last paragraph!  What else is up.  America does MDY (Month Day Year).  Most places do DMY.  Most ASIA places do YMD.  And there you have it.  WHY did America decide to mix it up.  We landed on Massachusetts or whatever and decided THIS DAY THEN MONTH SHIT HAS GONE ON TOO LONG.  FUCK THAT.  WE'RE MIXING IT UP.  Must be some reasoning behind it.  I guess!  Anyway!  IS IT POSSIBLE America Just Likes Being Difficult.  There's a good amount of evidence to support that theory in general.  Most places do DMY?  Lisa Kudrow says DMY IN THE SIMPSONS.  IT STANDS FOR, "DON'T MESS YOURSELF."  I'm just tellign it like it is!  The point is in other countries it will NEVER be Pi day.  Kinda sucks for them.  Oh well.  That's their problem, not mine!  It's all of our problems I guess.  WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER.  Anyway I'll see ya later!

-4:47 P.M.

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

You Are More Than Welcome

    Hey, friends!  Time for some Wednesdaysh.  I was listening to one of my Classic Music Albums on a walk today and I was like wait a second I Don't Think I Can Do That Again.  I want to write more music but I dunno if I have it in me!  It already was Only Adequate!  And now that I'm faced with facts, I don't even know if I can Accomplish Adequate again.  I guess we'll see!  See with our EARS.  I guess we'll hear!  Anyway.  This music sounds great to me.  I can relate to it like a motherfucker.  Quite possible, though, anyone else listens to it and is like WHY.  Hmm.  Made some more progress with Theodore Lasso.  Who goes out of their way to have a moustache.  Ted Lasso does.  Ah.  I see.  Makes sense.  Not sure if I've ever gone out of my way to have any facial hair other than Some or None.  Either I let it grow for a while or I Shaved.  Never groomed it stylistically.  MAYBE when I was a dumb teenager I let myself grow some sideburns or something while shaving other areas?  I dunno!  Wouldn't recommend or condone that!
    Okay.  Looks like TikTok might be on the Chopping Block!  Oh no!  What exactly is ON Tik Tok.  It's micro videos, right?  Never appealed to me based on my ignorance of what's on there.  I don't KNOW what it is.  Therefore I DON'T LIKE IT.  Now that I think about it, maybe it's like Man Getting Hit In The Crotch With Football type stuff.  That kind of content sounds good!  Got sixty days to look into it I guess.  Anyway.  I'm 22% FOR the bill making them DIVEST from the China Government Aligned company controlling it and 78% AG'N IT.  Hmm.  Maybe slightly more AGAIN IT.  Could be over 80% AGAIN IT.  The important thing is I'm pretty uninformed on it, but I make a decision of where I stand on it and share those decisions on the internet.  And force other people to feel what I feel.  Looks like they're making a Ready Player Two.  Wonder if they'll have any Star Wars references in there.  May the Force be with you.  Seems like a weird thing for Star Wars Guy to say.  I want the Force to be WITH ME.  If I'm saying I want the Force To Be With This Other Person, even if he's a Friend O' Mine, that's LESS FORCE FOR ME.  Seems counterintuitive.
    Yeah!  Force begets force.  More force for allies is more force for all of us!  Makes sense.  Bought a 5 dollar pair of earphones today.  Old pair too tangled!  Wasn't working properly.  Right earbud went out.  This time around, I won't tangle these mother fuckers!  I don't CARE how planned obsolesce they are.  I'll do everything in my power to make sure they last in perpetuity!  Anyway.  They came with THREE rubber parts for the earbuds.  Each earbud came with a rubber cushion part attached.  And then there was one loose one in the box.  Weird.  Weird stuff.  But I like it.  I dunno why.  Anyway.  Anyway.  Occurred to me the other night that my guitar is freaking TWENTY YEARS OLD.  Almost.  I got it in 2005.  My electric guitar.  What the fuck!  20 Freaking Years with this piece of crap.  Not a piece of crap.  It's been with me through thicks and thins.  Lots of thicks.  Mostly thins.  But wow!  Twenty years.  Yeah!
    New product idea-- Wheat Thicks.  Let's get some scientists working on that one.  Ballad of a Thick Man.  Huh.  Had a different electric guitar for several years in the 2010's.  This guitar had a few years off!  Let's be honest with ourselves.  Is it possible that Ted Lasso is a PSY-OP for Football.  Or as I call it Soccer.  My guess is it's a Psy-Op for Apple TV.  They want us to WATCH THEIR STREAMING SERVICE.  So they MAKE MONEY.  Wonderful.  Op stands for Operation.  Psy probably stands for Pshyic.  And, if not Physic, surely some word that's SIMILAR to Physic.  In the future we will be able to perform operations with our minds.  I already can.  The four basic ones, at least.  Addition.  Subtraction.  Multiplacation.  Division.  Anyway.  I'm 35 years old and I'm still confused if I see a Division symbol.  Three ÷ Six.  It's PROBABLY two but who knows, it could be... what's the other one it could be... A Half!  I don't know which order things.  WHY IS THAT INTERESTING BLOG FODDER.  "I don't know my Maths."  FASCINATING.
   Other division symbol, too!  Can't find it in The Symbol Section of Microsoft FrontPage.  But you know what I mean.  For when you're doing LONG DIVISION.  That symbol.  WHO KNOWS HOW DIVISION WORKS.  Anyway.  Who is right-- America or England-- in terms of it being MATH or MATHS.  Is Math one unified field or is it really separate studies that ultimately combine?  I SAY IT'S MATH.  I think that's pretty intuitive, right?  MATH!  You gotta be some sort of idiot to think Maths.  Well, I dunno, I'm sure if you're well prepared you can make some good debates for the MATHS position.  But ULTIMATELY, c'mon.  MATH is MATH.  To treat MATHS as separate disciplines is not only WRONG but... well... okay, maybe it IS only wrong.  Let's go with Just Wrong.  Ugh.  Whatever.  If we're saying Math is MATHS then are we also saying each subset of MATHS is also plural?  I'm good at maths.  I know my algebras.  My pre-calculuseses.  My trigonomatri.  WHERE DOES IT END.
     Halfway through the entry!  Fourth Grade Teacher-- "Okay, class, I have a treat for you... We're going to be doing some SHORT division!"  And the class cheers.  That's something.  Right?  FEELS like something to me!  How about a teacher who gives a math test and is like This time around, don't bother showing your work!  I know you're good for it!  Anyway.  You WANNA show your work on a math test!  That way if you get it wrong, but you get some of the work along the way right, you're gonna get yourself some partial credit!  Showing work is IN YOUR BEST INTEREST.  Huh.  Anyway.  This website is owned by a subsidiary of the Qatari Government.  Just so you know!  Now Qatar has all your private information!  SORRY.  THEMS THE BREAKS.  When life hands you lemons you do something with them.   
    What else.  You offer no private info to be on this website.  Not to your knowledge!  Maybe your IP Address.  I probably have access to that somehow, somewhere.  I'm Just Being Honest!  I probably don't, but if I paid extra, I could!  Gotta pay extra for Web Statistics.  Anyway.  Is the name TikTok a kind of passive aggressive way of reminding the user the amount of time they're wasting on the app?  Tik Tok.  Time is passing.  The clock goes on.  You're still here.  Hours are passing.  Life is FLYING BY while you watch nonsense clips.  I assume it's mostly nonsense clips.  I don't KNOW.  Is there a social media site where it's just watching users 24/7?  That seems like a good idea for a site.  And by Good Idea I mean Dystopian Hellscape.  But also Good Creative Business Idea.  THE EDTV PROPHESY HAS COME TRUE.  Anyway the premise is each user just sets up an account and the account is they are on camera All The Time!  You can be on camera MOST OF THE TIME for other apps.  But with THIS NEW APP the premise is EXPLICITLY They're On All The Time.  MONEY, PLEASE.
    Three paragraphs to go!  I've never seen EDTV.  So there ya go.  I've probably come up with that idea Here 2-4 times before.  It's a good idea!  Hmm.  Ron Howard directed EDTV.  I guess it might be a good movie then!  If I watch the movie EDTV 24/7 over and over for a long enough time is it like I'm watching an EDTV type scenario ACTUALLY?  I think so!  How long would I have to watch it for that to be true?  AT LEAST a week or two.  I'd say 2-3 weeks.  Huh.  I'd watch Erectile Dysfunction TV.  One man's misfortune is another man's viewing pleasure.  Not sure that's entirely accurate.  Oh well.  ANYWAY.  Chicken Pot Pie for dinner tonight.  MONK likes Chicken Pot Pies.  It comes up every now and then in the show.  The show MONK.  It'd be weird if it came up in other shows!  Well that's good I guess.  I'm done with this paragraph.  Take it away!
   Penultimate paragraph.  Let's see.  What did I do with that extra earbud cushion.  Put it in a safe place, no doubt.  But what safe place was that.  Huh.  Gotta clean up my bathroom a little bit.  Just a little bit!  Guy is coming to address some issues in my parents' bathroom. Gonna check out my pipes as well.  So that's good.  I gotta throw out garbage.  That's pretty much it.  Maybe throw out the most egregious clumps of hair that have congregated on the floor.  That'll do the trick!  Now that I think about it what does Checking Out The Pipes mean.  Either way can't HURT.  I welcome his INPUT on whether everything is going okay in my bathroom.  I just dunno exactly what he's gonna be assessing!  When you Assess you make a double ass out of either you and/or me. 
   Last paragraph!  I don't have a problem with SCIENCES.  There's chemistry, physics, biology.  That seems fair to me.  Why not MATHS then.  That's a good point.  ONE POINT for The Plurality Team!  What's a thing that's where chemistry, physics, and biology intersect.  HMM.  QUARKS.  Not sure what a quark is.  Think it's just physics, though.  Phy Op.  It's a physics operation!  Ugh.  What else is up.  Probably write an entry tomorrow, then take a break!  Write entries Mondah Through Thursdays going forward indefinitely!  If I take Improv Class on Mondays, probably skip Mondays then, though!  UGH!  Anyway.  Doesn't seem fair that when you assume you make an ass out of you and me.  Why am I getting dragged into this.  When you assume you should only make an ass out of YOU.  WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS EMBARRASSING FATE OF BEING MADE AN ASS JUST BECAUSE YOU ASSUMED SOMETING.  Oh well such is life.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-6:01 P.M.
   
   
     

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

It's Been A Pleasure

    Hi, friends!  Tuesday entry!  Been waking up late sixty seven percent of the time lately!  Since class ended!  WHY BOTHER getting up between 8:30 and 11:00 when I can get up between 9:30 and 1:00.  I KNOW that's not a clean overlap.  First Time Window is 2.5 hours.  Second one is 3.5 hours.  Let's not get bogged down in the details!  Started season three of Ted Lasso.  Little bit concerned that it won't be as good as the first two seasons.  Based on the internet.  Internet kind of sucks, doesn't it?  I'll say it!  We're all thinking it!  In the 1990's HOLY CRAP was internet great.  These days?  Man.  I don't know!  I feel like it's a NET Negative!  How the HELL can I say, "We're all thinking," internet kind of sucks.  I'm basing that ON NOTHING.  I have NO CLUES you're thinking that.  However maybe it MANIFESTS because I brought it up.  NOW you're thinking it.  Ha-ha made you think something.
    Okay!  Been a while since we had a BALLOON story.  Had a troubling Chinese Weather Balloon last year.  Had a Balloon Boy in 2010 or so.  WE'RE DUE FOR A BALLOON STORY.  HEY I read my teacher's notes on my pilot.  Great notes!  Some big ol' MACRO NOTES!  Happy to report I UNDERSTAND THE NOTES for the most part!  Some I fully agree with, some I probably agree with, and some I can see his point of view but I'm not sure I want to forfeit MY point of view for his.  Anyway, if I wanna take a run at a second draft, and I probs do, I got some good ideas of where to start from now!  YES.  Anyway.  Based on syllables, I'm not 100% sure I don't just wanna reboot MONK now.  And I'm The New Monk.  I think of all the parts in all the world I can EXCEL in playing... The New Monk MAY BE THE ONE!.  POSSIBLY based mostly on That Being The Last Thing I watched.  Hmm.  Shouldn't I be able to play The New Ted Lasso?  Nope.  Just Monk!
     Nice spring day outside today.  Pretty sure for the rest of my life, every warm day I go outside will make me think about Global Warming.  Started at some point over the last few years.  Don't see why it would go away at this point.  Hmm.  I guess it can go away when Global Warming becomes Second Nature.  At some point.  I dunno!  WHY are things Second Nature.  Seems like FIRST NATURE would be even MORE Natural.  Hey don't worry I'm a natural at this it's SECOND NATURE to me.  So what.  IT'S FIRST NATURE TO ME.  I'M EVEN MORE NATURAL AT IT.  That shut em up.  Probably said that, "Riff," on this website I'm gonna conservatively guess TWICE before.  Hmm.  Monk is from two decades ago.  Ted Lasso is from NOW.  You can't be The New Thing of a current thing.  Anyway. 
    Monk gets ALL the girls.  I wouldn't be surprised if I'd be a CHICK MAGNET if I was The New Monk.  Which is pretty much What I'm In It For.  In WHAT for.  I dunno.  Anything!  Want to Magnetize Chicks!  Anyway.  When I was a kid it was a thing, not just in my house but I think in CULTURE IN GENERAL, where people would congregate around the kitchen refrigerator and put magnets on the refrigerator and hold up pieces of paper and whatknot with the magnets and stuff.  Like a family bulletin board.  Is that something families still do?  I definitely saw that on TV.  Probably in friends' homes too.  So it wasn't just me.  The important thing is CULTURE.  What kinda stuff would be on there.  Off the top of my head I remember The Simpsons where they would put a Bart Test Result where he got like a D and they were proud of him.  WHAT ELSE besides Proud Test Results?  I dunno!  Maybe just a calendar.  For quick reference for anyone.  That's something EVERYONE can use.  What else.  Huh.
     Hmm.  Monk sets UNREALISTIC standards for young men in the sense that he has BEAUTIFUL WOMEN following him around 24/7 just doing WHATEVER HE WANTS. For Monk it's just his assistant handing him hand wipes but if you read between the lines the audience can interpret it in dirty, dirty ways!  Monk uses the 24/7 Lady to get clean.  ONE MIGHT USE THEM TO GET DIRTY THOUGH IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.  I hope you do.  Cause I don't.  It'd be nice if one of us did.  Anyway.  Thirteen Ghosts!  Monk!  Really makes ya think.  It's interesting that in both Thirteen Ghosts and in Monk, Tony Shalhoub misses his Dead Whife in a really over the top way.  They really lay it on thick in BOTH Thirteen Ghosts and Monk.  WHEN YOU GET TONY SHALHOUB, YOU GET HIM MOURNING A DEAD WHIFE.  Makes sense.  I still got the Monk Movie to watch.  Not available to me yet!  Good.  I have something to look forward to.  THIS, and probably two or three other things that aren't occurring to me currently right now.
     Halfway through the entry!  I unfairly judged Tony Shalhoub based on Thirteen Ghosts for most of my life.  I thought THIS IS A BAD MOVIE, so EVERYONE INVOLVED MUST BE BAD AT THEIR JOBS AS WELL.  Hmm.  Not CONSCIOUSLY.  I never WENT OUT OF MY WAY to think that.  I still always LIKED the cast and crew.  Matthew Lillard?  LOVE IT.  Shannon Elizabeth?  OH YEAH!  I just sort of assumed they were UNQUALIFIED.  They're not though.  Everyone's Great.  What else is up.  Is the film about the ghosts or about the Humans.  The living humans.  I guess the ghosts are also humans.  Just dead, Ghostlike humans.  ANYWAY the point is it's called Thirteen Ghosts but it's CLEARLY about the Livings if you watch the film.  AS IT SHOULD BE.  Ugh.  Thirteen Ghosts is a fine movie.  It's got frights!  If you stare at the screen without turning away for 100 minutes YOU WILL BE SHOCKED a couple dozen times, no doubt!
    Whatever.  Four more paragraphs to go!  I guess!  Is there another Monk-type show that's NO WORSE than Monk?  I don't wanna sacrifice ANYTHING in quality.  Lemme LTURQ.  Internet says COLUMBO.  My DAD has been watching Columbo.  Last month or two.  A Columbo here or there at night.  I LIKE IT.  For My Dad.  Not for me!  For me it's a snoozefest.  LOVE IT FOR MY DAD TOUGH.  Christopher Columbo couldn't even Detect what CONTINENT he was on.  YES.  INCONTINENT was he.  HUH.  Anyway.  It's a PROCEDERUL.  Right?  That's a word.  Wait.  No.  ONE HOUR DRAMA.  That's the, "Word," I was looking for!  Kinda feels like there's a pun to be made with the phrase One Hour Drama.  I'm not gonna rack my brains trying to think of it, though!  Why bother!  LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING.  One Hour Photo.  A DIORAMA is the word Drama with the letters IO added in.  Huh.  So THAT'S what I came up with to say POST One Hour Drama.  Drama--Diorama.  Sorry!
    Eighth paragraph.  Life is for the living!  Or for the dead.  Life is to make the dead feel envious!  Rub it in their noses real good.  Look out for my new Reality Show Competition Show ONE HOUR DIORAMA.  Gotta make a Diorama in one hour!  The show practically sells itself!  Which is good because it takes a lot of the pressure off of me.  Anyway.  What's the best diorama I ever made?  I can't remember!  Can't remember any specific dioramas at all!  Anyway.  Weird that we spend so much time on dioramas in K-5 when we make SO FEW dioramas in our adult life.  Comes up pretty rarely now that I think about it!  To Tell Truths, if we're being honest, the only times we have to make dioramas in our adult life is when our kids have to make dioramas and are too lazy to do it and we do it four them.
    Sure!  Four!  Dioramas are more of a MOTHER'S job, right?  Kinda feels like if I have kids, I'm not gonna have to do dioramas, right?  I hope?  PLEASE?  What else is up.  Unless it's a MAN'S DIORAMA.  Like about the movie PREDATOR or something.  Off the top of my head.  If the subject matter of the Diorama is about the movie PREDATOR then I guess it's a Father's Job to help with the diorama.  Huh.  I've never seen Predator.  I've seen ONE Predator.  Roughly 2016-2019.  There was Poor Quality Predator Franchise Installment in that year range that I watched on the television set!  So there ya go.  I like Predator because, look, he's a good predator.  Got a SHIT TON going for him.  But, also, seems beatable!  Not totally invincable.  OBEYS the laws of physics and everything.  WE'VE GOT A DECENT CHANCE AGAINST PREDATOR I THINK.  Again, I've Never Seen Predator.  Also there's a ghood chance I'm conflating Predator with the monsters from Tremors.
     Last paragraph!  Revolutionary War or Charles Dickens.  Off the top of my head, top two guesses of possible Dioramas I've made.  VERY possibly influenced by Simpsons episodes.  In the Simpsons Lisa does a Charles Dickens diorama.  And they do other kinds of classwork on Revolutionary War.  The point is I don't remember anything from my actual life.  Just Simpsons episodes.  Oh well such is life.  Hmm.  I wouldn't have guessed That Was Such How Life Is.  Turns out it is, though!  Amazing!  How come no one who wins an Oscar gives an acceptance speech like, "Wait a second, why does this matter?  I mean, I know it does, but think about it for a second.  I don't know."  With all the awards given out over the course of three hours, you'd think you'd get at least ONE of those acceptance speeches a year!  Hmm.  That'll do it for today!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-4:05 P.M.      
     
        
     
   
   
     

Monday, March 11, 2024

You Can Still Read!

    Hey, friends!  Been over a month since the last entry.  I've accomplished Being Alive the entire time!  Well, I've come a bunch of times.  The French call that The Tiny Death.  So I've been dead for a few minutes compiled.  Not happy about it!  Hmm.  You'd think I'd be happy about When I Come.  Shows how much you know!  Finished my Pilotting class last week.  I wrote a freakin' pilot.  Is it dumb?  Yeah!  Does nothing happen over the course of 32 pages?  Sure!  Does it make no sense?  Wonderful!  BUT STILL.  I started off with ZERO WORDS.  Now I have AN ENTIRE SITCOM!  WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW FOR with your life.  NOTHIN.  Maybe you have a loved one and/or ones.  LIKE I SAID-- NOTHIN.  Anyway.  Will I revamp it completely and write a second draft?  Probably!  Not RIGHT NOW though.  I'm CLEARLY doing something ELSE.  IT'S CALLED THE PRESENT.  Huh.  Bought a new pair of headphones JUST for recording music.  Tried it out briefly just to see what it sounds like.  IT SOUNDS LIKE GREAT.  Get working on new music soon.
    YES.  Same brand of earphones that I had in high school.  Had some high end earphones in high school.  These aren't THAT high end but in the same general area as those earphones.  It's like blast from the sonic past!  Main thing I like is you can tell instruments apart AND the each instrument sounds CRISP.  Those two things!  DISTINCTNESS AND CRISPNESS!  That's what I get out of new headphones presumably.  I think Crispin Glover gets a bad rap for being eccentric and/or a jerk but LAY OFF his name is CRISPIN.  What kind of person do you think YOU'D BE if your name was CRISPIN.  Never thought about it that way, did you?  Cause you're an INCONSIDERATE ARSE.  Been watching TED LASSO.  They speak Englishe in that show.  That's why ARSE was said.  By me!  HEY just got an e-mail back from Pilot Teacher with notes on Final Draft Of Pilot.  GONNA READ THAT LATER.  Presumably the gist of it is I WROTE A 5 out of 10 FIRST DRAFT and the notes are such that after reading them I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO INCORPORATE TEHSE NOTES EVEN THOUGH THEY MAKE SENSE TO IMPROVE IT REALLY EXACTLY BUT BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.
    Yes!  Of all the UCB Classes In All The World, I think the next one I take will be another a second level Improv class!  Same one I took lat time.  With different teacher!  That won't start until Oh I Don't Know APRIL FIRST.  AND I AIN'T FOOLING.  You know what I watched?  It's called MONK.  I liked it!  What a wonderful two or so week period of my life.  I don't think I'll ever forget the time I spent watching Monk.  Writing The New MONKees.  Watching MONK.  That syllable crossover didn't escape me one bit!  Not sure what it MEANS.  That's on my list of things to ask God when I die.  When we die God has to answer all our questions?  Seems like he should!  It's called HEAVEN.  My idea of Heaven is I GET TO KNOW WHATEVER I WANT.  Seems like if I wanna know something and that knowledge is withheld from me THAT AIN'T HEAVEN.  Then again what makes me think I'm going to Heaven.  TOUCHE!  That shut me up.
     What else.  Hopefully get started on some new music.  I can see myself making some dumb music.  It's a stretch, but it's slightly possible I can make GOOD, DUMB MUSIC.  Huh.  Watched the Bob Marley movie a couple of weeks ago.  It was okay!  Not proud to say it, but I didn't understand what they were saying a lot of the time!  RASTAFARIAN CONCEPTS?  DOESN'T REGISTER WITH ME.  I DON'T GET IT.  Anyway.  No.  But really.  Cause of Them Jamaica Accents.  I like Rastafaria.  I AND I?  COUNT ME IN.  Watched the Marley And Me movie a couple of months ago.  Not sure why that movie happened.  There's a genre of movie that's DOG.  Good.  Does any other animal have their own genre.  HORSE off the top of my head maybe.  That might be it.  There's a lion at the beginning of every MGM movie.  But it's not ABOUT the lion.  He's just part of the INTRODUCING the movie. 
     They opened up a new Marijuana Recreational Dispensary ON MY WALK.  We're talkin' 12 minute walk from my household!  Delightful.  Anyway.  3/11.  That's a thing.  What's the 311 people say.  It's a genre of music, isn't It?  Anyway.  What else is going on.  Watched THE OSCARS last night.  Hmm.  HOLLYWOOD, eh?  Good for them!  What films that were being celebrated did I see? WHY I watched The Killers Of The Flowered Moon this weekend.  It was okay!  Wasn't my favorite film!  It was a GOOD FILM.  But it didn't make me COME or anything.  ONLY FILMS THAT MAKE ME COME ARE GREAT.  So there's... uh...  IT'S A PRIVATE LIST of films I consider to be great.  Now that I think about it.  Anyway.  I think it's great fun to spell come, "Come," and not, "Cum."  I'm having a blast doing it all throughout this entry.  Definitely gonna keep that in mind going forward in my life!  Huh.
     Anyway.  Figure I should go see DUNE II: Only In Theaters Only.  Gotta re-watch DUNE I: Now Available On TV.  I didn't like it the first time around, but CULTURE is saying I should give it another go.  Best thing about Killers Of The Flower Moon is that it didn't FEEL like 3.5 hours long.  And I mean it!  I don't know HOW they did it (Martin Scorsese is a They/Them) but for some reason while watching it it felt like a 90 minute experience!  Welldone on that!  Martin SCORE'S EASY.  SCORE'S EASY?  TRY TELLING THAT TO DANNY ELFMAN.  HE'LL TELL YA IT TAKES HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE.  Hmm.  First instinct for a lot of people is probably gonna be pun with Sports or Competition Score.  BUT Martin Scorsese is already FILM adjacent.  So I went with Film Score.  I think Martin Scorse is more than Film ADJACENT.  He is FILM PERSONIFIED.  Huh.
   I know Leonardo Dicaprio has aged a lot in the ~25 years since being a Young Man when he was a Young Man but ya know what?  STILL A YOUNG MAN.  That's how MALE AGING WORKS around the turn of the millennium.  YOU WANNA BE 20 years old?  GREAT!  Now you wanna age TWENTY FIVE YEARS?  GREAT, AND GUESS WHAT?  STILL KIND OF A YOUNG MAN!  CONGRATULATIONS LET'S HAVE A CELEBRATION PARTY.  Look LEO is 5 years older than that riff would suggest.  BUT THE POINT REMAINS.  You can be 20 years old YOUNG MAN.  Age a LIFETIME (25 years).  COME OUT THE OTHER END A YOUNG MAN.  That shut 'em up!  IT'S ALL RELATIVE.  Whenever someone would say It's all relative around my Dad he would say Aunts and Uncles Included.  Now you know a little bit about what it was like growing up in my house!  More or less ALL of it now that I think about it.  You can extrapolate my entire life based on that tidbit of information!  Awesome!
    Okay.  Three paragraphs to go.  Huh.  SURE I spent every episode of MONK wondering during the opening credits DID TOM SCHARPLING WRITE THIS ONE???  Guess what?  One out of eight times HE DID.  Jon Wurster even wrote one!  THAT WAS REALLY SPECIAL.  Although at some points I felt mentally ill being so invested in whether or not Tom Schoarplign would have written the upcoming episode I was about to see.  WHY DOES IT MATTER.  IT DOESN'T MATTER.  BUT I GOTTA KNOW.  THESE OPENING CREDITS ARE APPEARING TOO SLOWLY.  GET TO, "WRITTEN BY," QUICKER.  I GOTTA KNOW.  That's how my life went for a couple of weeks is the point.  The point is MONK is a detective but he's also got problems.  Mental problems!  OCD type stuff.  I'M LAUGHING ALREADY.  But I've got problems.  Mental problems!  I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING IS TEH POINT.
     Penultimate paragraph.  HMM.  Teacher sent out an e-mail to ALL OF CLASS that I just read giving us CLUES as to waht he might have sent us INDIVIDUALLY.  I think he might have given me notes as to BIG IDEAS of how to approach a second draft.  HMM.  Whole new places to take story.  INTERESTING.  We'll put that in the maybe pile.  Whatever.  Today's entry was CRAP.  But it didn't hurt anybody to write it!  Probably wouldn't hurt anybody to read it!  Anyway.  What is the Ted in Ted Lasso short for.  My first guess is ANTHONY.  I know it's a long shot.  But I feel like TAKING A CHANCE today.  Cause If I'm right THIS MIGHT PAY MY WAY for the rest of my life.  That's how unlikely it is!  Big payoff.  Ugh.  What the Hell. I CREATED AN ENSEMBLE OF CHARACTERS?  How many of YOU can say yuo've done that.
    Last paragraph!  Sometimes I don't know if I created the ensemble of characters or if the ensemble of characters created me.  Huh.  Gonna have to think on that for a while.  Maybe later.  One more paragraph to write!  His name is Ted LASSO because he LASSO'S YOU IN with his good nature and warm sprit. Oh okay I get it.  Also because he's friends with Will Sasso.  The star of MADTV.  When I was a kid we had MADTV.  It was FOX'S answer to Saturday Night Live.  And for the one or two years it was on my radar, FATMAN Will Sasso was the breakout main star.  THIS IS GOOD STUFF LET'S KEEP IT GOING.  I can't!  It's almost over!  I'll be back tomorrow, though!  It'll be fun!  MADTV was EDGIER than SNL.  THEY SAID, "BITCH," I TINK.  NBC wouldn't say it.  FOX WOULD.  Well I'm sold I'm gonna watch MADTV then I guess.  I may have made up that story in my mind.  Anyway.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-3:49 P.M. 
  

 

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