It's Always December Somewhere

Thursday, December 14, 2023

It's Nice To Be Here

    Hey, friends! I get to take A BREAK from writing entries for a few days! Then get to WRITE ENTRIES again for an indeterminate amount of time! YES. Yeah Sure, the last song I listened to was Two Princes. Great! What if it was Three Princes. That'd really raise the stakes! Makes it even harder for the princes to Win Over Lady. The more princes the tougher it is. I'D LIKE IT if it was called ONE PRINCE. And the lryics were What else are ya gonna do/ya got no one else to choose. You can always choose someone who isn't a prince. Sure. Hypothetically. The singer of the song goes back and forth between being one of the princes and being a third person narrator. Kinda confusing. Maybe I'm wrong. Huh. "This one wants to buy you rockets." What the Hell. Is this lady some kind of Terrorist State. What The Hell does This Lady want with Rockets. Oh. It's followed up with Ain't in his head now. So it specifies he's crazy for thinking that's a good selling point to woo the lady. Gotta be honest this is a much deeper song than I realized! LOOK you can read the lyrics onlien. Figure out ALL the deepness yourself. ME I got an entry to write. OK?
    Sure! Just cause you want rockets doesn't make you a Terrorist State. EVERYONE'S got rockets. Maybe you want them as a deterrent. WE'VE ALL GOT ROCKETS it doesn't make us Terrorist States. If anything, if you DON'T have rockets, that makes me think you're a Terrorist State. Kinda seems like you're over compensating. Like you got something to hide. VERY suspicious. Anyway. WHAT HAPPENS at the end of The Sopranos. They talk about it pretty much in every Talking Sopranos episode. My feeling is TONY SOPRANO is alive. If you look at his facial expression when he looks up for 1.25 seconds before it cuts to black he's not SHOCKED IN HORROR or TERROR. Like he would be if someone was about to shoot him! He's like OH OKAY I'M LOOKING UP AT SOMETHING WHO CARES MAYBE IT'S MY DAUGHTER MEADOW OR AT A WAITER OR SOMETHING I'M NOT CONCERNED TOHUGH. That's MY 2 cents on the topic. In case Talking Sopranos ever asked me. That would be what I come up with.
    The important thing is it's important. His son is named A. J. His wife's name is CARMELA. Just so we are all on bard with all his family member's names. WE MENTIONED MEADOW. I figured we might as well say ALL their names. Huh. What am I some sort of idiot. YES. What if Two Princes are brothers. I always imagined them as from Different Kingdoms. MAYBE THEY'RE BROTHER PRINCES. That'd be a whole other dynamic. WOW. Kind of a Misogyny Song. HEY there's these two guys who like you. YOU GOTTA PICK ONE OF THEM. ONE OR THE OTHER. CAN'T LEAVE SINGLE. GOTTA GO HOME WITH ONE OF THEM. MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHICH ONE YOU CAN TOLERATE MORE. Makes sense. LOOK I SAY odds are decent that Imaginary Lady might wanna go home with at least one prince. But we certainly shouldn't be taking it for granted that its the case!
    Sure. Anyway. What's a good Terrorist State these days. I'm gonna guess North Korea is the standard bearer for what We Call Terrorism State. GOOD. CURRENT EVENTS. "State.gov," which I'm guessing is AMERICA WEBSITE also includes Cuba, Iran, and Syria for that. WOW. .Gov is probably always AMERICA. Ours is the premier GOV on the internet. WE DID IT. HMM. They designated Cuba State Sponsor of Terrorism in 2021. I would have thought it was the other way around. Like they designated it 50 years ago and forgot to take it down. Huh. Yeah Sure, I watched Uncle Buck last night. WHY haven't I watched it before. It wasn't great. Yeah but John Candy has got RIZZ up the wazoo. Just look at him. WONDERFUL. Gotta imagine I can re-watch Planes Trains and Automobiles Oh My. That's probably AN GOOD MOVIE up the wazoo!
    Planes and trains are automobiles! They are MOBILE. They are AUTO. ...SEEMS LIKE IT. There shuold have been a sequel called Planes Trains Cranes and Automobiles. And they do the Three again but ALSO John Candy rides a Construction Site Crane too on his way home for the holidays. GOTTA ESCALATE SOMEHOW for the sequel! I wonder if John Candy ever struggled with the fact that his name is Candy and He Must Have Liked Candy A Whole Lot Just Look At Him. Hmm. Not all fat people like candy! That's an ugly stereotype that's very hurtful! Well I'm sorry I guess. I don't think fat people like candy that much to be honest! TOO SMALL. Candy is SMALL STAKES for a real obese person. I think they wanna prioritize OTHER Fattening food IMO to gorge on. So that's good. I dunno. I just can't imagine a John Candy type eating 8 Hershey Bars in a row WHEREAS I can imagine them binging LOTS OF OTHER kinds of crap over and over. MAYBE THAT'S ON ME THOUGH.

    Sure! Lots of songs are Misogyny Songs within the general spirit of Two Princes. I can't back that up with a riff. I mean I COULD. If I put any thought or work or effort into it. Oh well. I got the ball rolling! I did MY job. Now it's time for you to pick up the ball. Sounds counter productive. If I got the ball rolling and you pick up the ball you just negated everything I tried to accomplish. Thanks a lot! Jerk. Huh. THURSDAY huh. Yes! If I were a Couples' Counselor I'd be like Make Thursday HER'S DAY. And once a week DEVOTE A DAY ALL TO THE LADY OF THE RELATIONSHIP. Hmm. Sounds like I should be a Couples Counselor with that kind of Rhyming Insight. Shouldn't Men have a day. Make Monday... MUN's... MAN'S.... uh... Lemme think about this this some more. If I was a Family Counselor I can say Make Sunday SON's Day. Huh. ACTUALLY That works for ALL Men. THAT DOES work a COUPLES scenario. ALL MEN ARE SONS AS WELL. Thursday is for ladies, Sundays are for the fellas. You heard it here first!
    Sweet. You may have heard it somewhere else before in which case you need to raise your standards of Places You Hear Things. What The Hell Is Wrong With The Other Place You Heard This From. Sounds like a Real Crazy Place! What about Thurman Munson. He's CLEANING UP in this scenario. Thursday is great for him, too! YES. He may be CLEANING UP in a Batting Lineup Scenario, too! POWER HITTER. Wow! Hmm Just Looked TURQ. Relatively Respectable power numbers for a catcher. BUT NOT GREAT. Sorry for misleading you. I was misled myself. You can't blame ME! I AM A VICTIM TOO IN THIS SCENARIO. Probably shouldn't Live Weeks where you devote Days to members of the couple. One day lavishing love and attention and focus on one member of couple, another day of the week for another... now that I think about it the real world doesn't operate that way I don't think at all! At least I'm trying to come up with ideas to keep things fresh.
    Okay! If I was a Couples' Counselor I'd teach them campfire songs and we'd roast marshmallows and tell ghost stories. I never went to summer camp. But I've seen Television about summer camp. Good enough. As far as I know I could be 98% wrong about the way the summer camp works. I'm basically putting a shitload of faith into TV being right about What The World is. Oh well what's the worst that could happen even if The TV is wrong. No skin off my back! SO WHAT if I don't know how Summer Camp really works. What difference does it make! What does the phrase no skin off my back mean. Is it about PSORIASIS? Sounds like it! Anyway. Won't be writing another entry until Monday at the earliest. Also-- probably Monday at the middlist or Latest! Let's predict Mostly Monday!
    HMM I just briefly Privately Went wow Microsoft FrontPage accepted, "Mostly Monday," as a word. As if it accepted it as a PHRASE which WOULD be surprising. But that's NOT how Spell Check works. It DOES NOT recognize multi word phrases one way or another. So the point is I was momentarily Real Dumb. Go figure. Got 2 more Improve Class sessions left. Considering wearing glasses for the next one instead of Contact Lenses. Just to see what would happen! Probably no one would care. They're busy caring about themselves one would imagine. If I were Someone Else I'd probably be busy caring about Myself. I mean, Being Myself, I am busy caring about myself. GOTTA IMAGINE I'd be caring about Themselve If I Were Them. Seems to definitely check out Logically And Whatknot.
    Okay! Last paragraph of the week. Low quality week. Good enough for me! You shouldn't have to settle for it, though. You can do better! You shouldn't have to put up with this crap. Hm. Rare, "Hmm," with only one, "M." Very interesting. Wonder what that's all about. Guess we got about a week left until SuperWinter. Gonna be a good one. Work on Pilot. What makes me think I can write a good Sitcom Pilot. Because I am generally a Smart and Funny Enough Guy. I was BORN Smart and Funny Enough. Gotta imagine I still have latent Smartness and Funny Enoughness in me. THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH to get me over the hump of Being Able To Do The Dumb Smart and Funny Thing That I Set My Sights On. Write Pilot Sitcom Script. That doesn't really check out at all. OH WELL I guess we'll find out! See ya later.

-5:13 P.M.

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Read As Much As You Want

    Hey friends. I think after this week I'm gonna abandon the premise of Monday Through Thursday standard Entries. I THOUGHT it was a good Routine. It IS a good routine. HOWEVER it will be Mixed Up when I start Online Pilot Class (OPC) in a month. So why not mix it up NOW anyway. Perhaps make it completely LOOSE. No Standard Routine at all. Write real Willy Nilly perhaps? I dunno! Routines is GREAT. I ain't knocking routines. I dunno. Maybe I AM knocking routines. This week I'm gonna write today and Thursday LIKE REGULAR. So we'll see what happens. I can just maybe write However I Want Whenever I want. SOUNDS WEIRD. Anyway. Wily E. Coyote. NOT WILY ENOUGH. Pretty Wily. I'm not saying he's NOT Wily. Just NEVER ENOUGH. Of all Looney Tune villains I kind of identify with Wile E. Coyote for some reason. Not sure what it is. I'm ON HIS SIDE in a way that I'm not on Elmer Fudd's side or Pepe Le Pew. I sympathize with Wile Coyete's plight. Also, I'm not ANTI-Road Runner. I just don't CARE about him. I dunno what it is.
   Pepe Le Pew is a bad guy, right? Just a constant potential Date Rapist per my recollection. I didn't watch a TON of Looney Tunes as a kid. But I saw ENOUGH to get a good idea. HOW would a SKUNK be a ROMEOtype Lover. THEY STINK more than any other animal. He's WAY off base thinking he's some sort of Don Juan. What an idiot. I dunno. I dunno if his victims vaguely reciprocate EVEN A LITTLE BIT EVER AT ALL or what. I DON'T REMEMBER. Huh. Looney Tunes is a strange comment on Darwinism because when you take a step back OL' ELMER FUDD IS AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN. It's about all different kind of animals. Elmer Fudd is the human. ELMER FUDD IS THE APEX PREDATOR. Well when you take the anthropomorphicismics into account it's clearly Bugs Bunny. But if you DON'T take it into account DUMB ELMER FUDD is THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN of Looney Tunes. Kinda pathetic.
     Huh. Kinda weird that multiple Huge Multi, Multi Billion Dollar Entertainment Empires are built upon the foundation of Dumb Cartoons. Disney. Warner Brothers. WOW. Mickey Moose. Looney Tunes. That's all you need. From that comes HALF A TRILLION DOLLARS. Seems kinda idiotic. STUPD IDIOTIC WORLD WE LIVE IN. SEEMS KINDA STUPID. Kinda can halfway include FOX??? WAHT WITH THE SIMPSONS? Maybe a FOURTHWAY include it. Did Fox Make Movies before The TV Channel. I forget. What else is going on and crap. ADULT SWIM. Ugh. IS Adult Swim a thing in swimmer's pools?. HEY KIDS GET OUT OF TEH WATER. ONLY ADULTS CAN SWIM NOW. What are adults doing in the pools that is too mature for kids. Having Sex? That's too mature for the OTHER adults, too. You can't do that either way! What are you playing, WATER BALL? GIVE KIDS A CHANCE TO PLAY. They'll never get better at water ball if they don't get a chance to play!
    Huh. Road Runner MOVES TOO FAST for us to be able to fully relate to him. If he just STAYED STILL in ONE PLACE for a second we'd be able to identify with him for a moment. We have NO CHOICE but to be on Wile E Coyote's side! Also he doesn't want to catch Road Runner out of malice. His intentions ARE GOOD. Hmm. I guess his intentions are Eat Road Runner? But not in a sadistic way! ALSO Road Runner doesn't have a name! Not even a cute title. THAT'S JUST WHAT THE KIND OF BIRD IS CALLED. NOTHIN'. Whereas Wile E. Coyete has got a straight up People Name we can relate to. ANYWAY. People with a middle initial kind of suggests upper classity doesn't it?. DOES WILE E COYOTE COME FROM MONEY? I guess that's how he can afford all the Acme Products! That makes sense I guess. Anyway. THERE IS Wile E Coyote movie coming out next year. So ALL OF THIS will be addressed RELATIVELY SOON. As of now this discussion feels NEW AND FRESH to myself. In a year this will all be redundancy riffs.
    Yeah! I can go on and on and on. Obviously The People Who Made The Movie have come up with thoughts about Wile E Coyote and Road Runner 10,000x more than I have just now. OH WELL. I've got the ball rolling for The General Public. Good. When people in the 1920's first saw Steamboat Mickey Mouse were they like WHAT. THE FUCK. IS THIS. HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT. Musta blown their fuckin' minds, right? Hmm. What's the closest comparison to Modern Era that would help us understand. First thing that comes to mind is The Dark Knight. WHEN I SAW THE DARK KNIGHT IN 2008. Off the top of my head. Maybe when I saw No Country For Old Men in 2007. HMM. What else could have been OUR Steamboat Mickey. Why bother coming up with a third one when it was definitely one of those two.

    No Country For Old Men was Great but it didn't have the same impact on me as The Dark Knight. CASE CLOSETED. Huh. Gotta re-evaluate some of the characters for Sitcom Pilot. It's an ENSOMBLE, right? Sitcoms are all ensombles. There OFT a SuperStar but even in those cases it's an ONSOMB in general. Either way what's the sitcom all about. Gotta be about something that will resonate with people. DO I have the life experience to know things that will resonate with people. I barely know anything that will resonate with ME. And I'm some sort of Dumb Idiot. How the hell can I resonate with OTHER people. EASY. I watch a lot of TV. All I need to do is COPY what THEY'RE Resonating. Seems pretty straight forward enough. TV isn't there to Resonate People. TV is there to keep the audience watching more TV. AS FAR AS I CAN TELL that's the mission statement of Television. Make sure audience watch more television.
    Yeah! Doesn't need to be your show. Doesn't need to be any show! TV Doesn't even need to be ON. Somehow if you convince an audience to stare at an OFF TV for an hour somehow THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH. I don't know WHY. I have nothing to support that theory. Just FEELS accurate. YES I know no one makes money from that. DOESN'T MATTER. TV still comes out on top in that scenario in some regard. Anyway. I feel like for 2 decades plus HBO was the premiere destination for TV Shows. If you were making a TV show you wanted to ASPIRE you were making it for HBO. Is that still the deal in 2023? Or is it PARAMOUNT PLUS or something. I know nothing about Paramount Plus. That could just as easily be an accurate guess as it could be an off-the-wall No-way-Absurdist JOKE guess. What cartoon is Paramount based on. Gonna guess The Legend Of Sleepy Hallow from the 1970's. Specifically when the Headless Horseman gets on top of his horse. Para-mount. YEAH.
    Hmm. Para DOES NOT mean ghost. It CAN be related to ghost. But it can mean a WHOLE HOST of other things completely separate from ghost. SORRY. Mount DOES mean Get Up On Horse though. That part checks out. Anyway. Barry Lyndon died a few days ago! He rides horses. All his friends rides horses. His FAMILY rides horses. That's where that non sequitor comes from. Anyway. It's all very sad. At least he will live forever in infamy along with the attack on Pearl Harbor so he's in pretty good company. Anyway. Lots of dates are more infamous than Pearl Harbor, right? I mean, sure, PRETTY infamous event. But is it even in the TOP TEN of Biggest Infamies in American History? WHY WOULD IT BE. Maybe #7 or 8 I guess. Single handedly got us into World War II which is one of our favorite wars. COULD BE #4 or 5 even. Now that I think about it YEP. Pretty infamous. YOU TALKED ME INTO IT.
    Yeah! Maybe. Let's do a draft of Infamous Dates. E-mail me if you wanna sign up for the league. Probably will be denied but couldn't hurt to try. There's only so many spots available! TWO more paragraphs to go! Anyway. ALL DAYS live in Infamy. 366 days out there and I REMEMBER ALL OF THEM. Not a single one that seems unfamiliar to me. "AUGUST 22nd? I DON'T REMEMBER THAT EVER HAPPENING BEFORE. SEEMS COMPLETELY FOREIGN TO ME. WHO CAME UP WITH THIS." Then again maybe I'm A Genius and things come naturally to me that aren't as simple for other people. Whatever. Anyway. Concerned my mind and body will atrophy without Social Routine of Improv Class once a week. Won't be good! I don't get THAT much out of it AT FIRST GLANCE but bubbling beneath the surface it probably does wonders for my psyche. YEAH. Online Pilot Class is done on ZOOM. Can I check out the other students on Zoom in SMALLER WINDOWS while I look at teacher in BIG window? I don't know! Hmm.
    "Checking out," other students in tiny windows on zoom is Social Activity enough for me? Probably not! Gotta settle for Somethin' though! Huh. Probably give each other notes on Pilot Progress each class as it goes. That Ain't Nothin'! AMAZIN'. Whatever. They might live FAR AWAY from me. For all I know they live in MISSOURI. I don't know if I can be friends with someone in the Midwest. Not because they're a Different Sort. Purely because they're Far Away I mean. The distance could be too big an issue! I like that Elliott Smith song Miss Missouri which is about a contestant in the Miss America pageant. Okay. I also like it for other Pun Reasons but I can't get into all of them right now! I got an entry to finish up! Huh. I guess that's it for now! I'll see ya tomorrow.

-4:59 P.M.

Tuesday, December 12, 2023

Happy Birthday To Me

    Hey, friends! Time for Tuesday! Got a delicious lean Birthday Dinner in store for tonight. We're talking SOUP. I'm SO UP on Soup. Hearty Grandma's Soup with Matzoh Ball Soup. Started watching Preserving Mr. Banks last night. Continued watching it this morning! Still not sure who Mr. Banks is. It's about the making of Mary Poppins. As far as I can tell Mr. Banks is a code name for Walt Disney. Walt Disney LUCKED OUT with the name Disney. Disney as a word got CHARACTER. Perfect name to built a ubiquitous creative Entertainment Empire. Practically any other name just wouldn't really sell it. A rose by any other name WOULDN'T smell as sweet. Roses don't smell sweet. To be fair I've never stopped to smell the roses but how sweet can a rose really smell. It's RED. It smells like red. And Red smells like NOTHING. It's a color! C'mon.
    Do any real people pronounce, "Come on," as "C'mon." If anyone does it Gotta be Joe Biden. "C'mon," is HIS THING for some reason we've been led to believe at some point. "C'mon Man." That thing! He does say that. But even HE I don't think just says a a QUICK Cuh and then Mon. He DISTINCTLY says the word COME before the word ON like any other normal person. I think. I don't listen too hard when people speak. What am I supposed to be some sort of guy who PAYS ATTENTION? Possibly. Maybe WE'RE ALL supposed to be Some Sort Of Guy who pays attention. That hardly seems fair. Saw Pshycitarist today. Big Update! She's taking me off Klonopin. I had been taking it AS NEEDED. Normally take it once a week as a PREAMBLE to Improv Class. Just to get things started off right. I ASSUME I'd benefit from Klonopin so I take it ahead of time! Besides that I take it maybe once every three months. ANYWAY. Got about 140 stockpiled. Enough to last me several lifetimes. Maybe not MY lifetimes. Several of SOMEONE'S lifetimes. Those could be exceptionally short lifetimes for all I know.
    Yeah! Holding Onto Mr. Banks is good because it's a Behind The Scenes Look at how movies are made. As someone interested in the business this is really cool to watch! For anyone thinking about a career in film this is a MUST SEE. Anyway. Birthday Day! I think buying an XBOX and playing Video Games would be a good way to EASE MYSELF into adapting to New Technology. As of now-- even before Technology gets even more advanced with Super Artificial Intelligence and whatknot-- I'm UNCOMFORTABLE WITH and SCARED of current and even relatively old technology. You know, Using APPS and TAPPING THINGS and CAMERAS and SELF CHECK OUT and WELL YOU GET THE IDEA. But I think if I start playing video games KINDA helps me get my feet wet. Makes sense. Maybe get the Video Game acclimated TO ME as well. IT GOES BOTH WAYS.
    Huh. Figure I might get noodles in the Grandma's Soup instead of rice. Can't say for sure. The order was already put in By My Dad! I FORGOT TO TELL HIM. But he knows in the past I've gotten noodles instead of rice in soups. You don't forget a thing like that. What kind of idiot would prefer rice in a chicken, "Noodle," soup to noodle. I'm sure lots of morons and I've got problems with all of them. If you were saying, "C'mon," how quickly can you say the, "C'," before getting to the, "Mon." You're gonna wanna speed through it to really justify skipping the vowel in text. Makes Sense. Also CLEARLY the, "M," is taken away from the word, "Come," and added onto the word, "On." The Quick, "Kuh," is all by itself and it's followed up by a, "Mahn." THIS IS GOOD STUFF LEMME WRITE THIS DOWN. Oh I already did wow this is great.
    Anyway. Terrible! It's my birthday I can write a terrible entry if I want to! WHY NOT, TREAT MYSELF. Yep that's good Wonderful. I guess! What else is up. I've never seen Mary Poppins! Probably is pretty good. Good ENOUGH. If other people liked it I can figure out a way to like it myself! Sweet! Is SAVING Mr. Banks a reference to how they're KEEPING Alive Walt Disney's Head through Freezing until we can re-animate him. I think so! Gonna have to assume that's the case. Is anyone gonna care what Walt Disney has to offer when he comes back in a few decades or centuries. Will he be able to work his magic on the public Once Again or will people be over his nonsense. Guess we'll have to wait and see. I say he comes back and at that point no one gives a shit about his imagineering. And he's like I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT TROUBLE AND FOR WHAT. SO NO ONE COULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME?

    HEY. What's up and crap. What is it about freezing that makes people think THIS will make people in the future be able to Make Me Alive Again! I say GO THE OTEHR WAY. I wanna microwave myself and then in the future they can Bring Me Back To Life. That makes little sense. Hey great what else. Hmm. How about just cover yourself in Zip Lock Plastic. That's probably a cheaper way to go. Don't need to keep yourself in Absolute Zero Kelvin for Freezement. Just Airtight Ziplock yourself ONCE and stay that way until a date TBD. Anything can happen maybe that's enough for them to bring you back. Inject yourself with GMOS. Whatever. I don't think GMO's make crops last longer. SOMETHING makes Crops Last Longer. Inject yourself with Whatever That Is! GMOS are in THE SPIRIT of The Right Reference. So get off my back about it.
     Kids LOVE GMO's these days. Can't get aenough of them! We would have loved them as kids when I was a kid if we just KNEW more about them! Just wrap me up nicely in a Hefty Bag when I die and stick us in a water tower. SEE WHAT HAPPENS. At some point either I Come Back or I Don't! Walt Walt Don't Tell Me is one of my favorite radio shows. Walt Disney. That's where that comes from. HEY just realized I got myself a real birthday present. Got a small order of Assorted Cookies from Food Delivery for tonight! Asked for it On Instinct. Just felt like the right move to order it without thinking about the real world consequences of actually getting it. Now I realize I Actually Have It Coming To Me soon. Wow! NOT BAD. When life hands you lemons WHERE IS LIFE GETTING ALL THESE LEMONS. How is life handing All These People Lemons? Doesn't life have anything else but lemons. Life Is But A Lemon is the moral of the story I guess. Really makes ya think. About the Led Zeppelin song about Lemons. Might be called, "The Lemon." Gonna have to look into that at some point.
    Okay. "The Lemon Song." Makes a ton of sense! Each day that passes I think a bit more about Future Prospective Pilot To Write for UCB Class. For example TODAY I figured out Hmm I Have No Idea What To Write About. I DID DOUBLE DOWN on I know the title of the show I want to write I think. That's PROGRESS I guess. Also, not 100% happy with the title and basic premise. That's PROGRESS TOO. We SHOULD have a love/hate relationship with our Work. Seems like it. It's a BURDEN OF JOY. When Life Give You Lemons hey it's better than Life TAKING AWAY Lemons. MUCH better. You're looking at this transaction all wrong! I wonder how much better my life would be if I had some lemons on me right now. Not as great as if I had limes but Still Pretty Great! Whatever! MORAL OF THE STORY IS Who cares.
    Let's see. Not sure what Website Writing Routine will look like what with when I'm taking Pilot Class and whatknot. Gonna devote most of Creative Writing Energy to Pilot Class! WOW how did I come up with that Brilliance All By My Self. By utilize brain power. Oh okay that's good. Jeez. I dunno. Today is WORST ENTRY in 6-8 weeks off the top of my head. COULD BE worst entry in 6-8 MONTHS. MORAL OF THE STORY IS I'm no good. I'm a good person in the sense that I HAVE A SOUL. But I'm no good in the sense that I HAVE FEW OTHER REDEEMING CHARACTERISTICS such that people would enjoy me & my company. Weird to say we Have souls. Isn't it more accurate, in our current conceptualizations, to say We ARE Souls. That's how we normally Think Of Souls, right? We ARE the Soul. We don't HAVE the soul. Gonna have to look into that one.
    Depends on your point of view. Mine is TOP DOWN. Anyway. Mine is BOTTOMS UP. Why do you say Bottoms up! when you drink. Pretty much drink from the top down! GOOD LUCK trying to drink liquid from the bottom of the glass upwards! You've got your work cut out for you! Unless you got a straw. Huh. Man. I wish I had a straw right now. Don't, though! Hmm. Soup should be here soon. Ideally soup comes 90 seconds after I finish this paragraph and thus this entry. Why not 60 seconds after I finish this paragraph and thus this entry. I dunno. The extra 30 second cushion would just Really Hit The Spot. Ugh. When life gives you lemons SUCK THAT LEMON WEDGE REAL GOOD. What YOU THINK YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN LIFE? SUCK THAT WEDGE! I don't like it! Well that's good I suppose. See ya tomorrow.

-6:27 P.M.

Monday, December 11, 2023

I Want To Write A Funny Website

    Hi, friends! Another fun filled week ahead for us. Oh NO. I have NO fun planned. This is terrible! I'm on the right track, though! I've BEGUN. Journey of a thousand Funs starts with a single Nothin' So Far. Anyway. Improv Class Session yesterday was the worst. Worst. Class. Ever. I stunk up the joint! Good. Now I know FOR SURE. What do I know for sure. I'm a worthless human being. I don't know that for sure. Just seems slightly more likely than it did before. If I suspected it 40% before, now it's at like 45%! STILL not sure about it. Look-- not everyone is cut out to be an Improvisational Actor. Only several hundred thousand people are. HARDLY ANYONE. As class progresses I realize a lot of the other students ARE cut out to be halfway good Improvisational Actors. They got it in their bones! There's some flat out DIFFERENCE between them and me. We just ain't cut from the same cloth. Shameful. I should hide my face away. Never be seen in company again. It's HUMIMILIATING.
    On the bright side though I always suspected I wasn't a good person at things. Now we know. Tried out a new kind of Marijuana Gummy this week. I often see them called Weed Gummie online. Weed is flower. Weeds! Like Grass. Like herb. It REFERS to the aspect of it being Plants. When it's in gummy form IT IS NO LONGER A WEED. I'M UPSET ABOUT IT. Gonna take out my anger ON YOU THE READER. BEAT YOU UP OR SOMETING. Corporal Punishment. Ate lunch today. Sandwich. Filled with salami. Evened out by bread. Huh. BIRTHDAY is tomorrow. Happy Anti-Belated Brithday. Prebated Birthday. Happy Pro Bono Birthday. I'm doing this case Pro Bono. HEY WHO ISN'T PRO BONO I MEAN U2 IS GREAT BUT I DON'T SEE WHAT THAT HAS TO DO WITH HOW I'M GONNA PAY FOR YOU TO REPRESENT ME. Where was that riff YESTERDAY. I was involved in 8 or 10 Improve Scenes and I'm sure I could have worked in Pro Bono into at least TWO OR THREE of them.
    Hmm. I'm starting to realize that the Improv, "Games," we play each class aren't tried and true games and just shit the teacher comes up with on the spur of the moment. SOME of them are perennials, sure. But I think some of them they present as Okay Have Ya Played This One it's a nonsense game that means nothing I just thought of off the top of my head. IF I was good at Improv I'd give an Improvised Example of such a game but ya know. IF I had a good memory I'd give a Memory Example of a game I've EXPERIENCED like this but ya know. What else is going on in the wide world of sports. Seems like Wide World is a remnant of thinking the world is flat. Spheres can't really be wide can they? THEY CAN BE WHATEVER THEY WANT, it's called GEOMETRY YOU FOOL. Not an exact sphere. Maybe got a bulge around the equator. I bet in Home or Classroom Education Globes the Equator is Perforated. Small budge around the equator. Wonder if that translates to Real Life!
    Not sure why kids need globes. HEY this is gonna come in handy when... uh... I INVADE EARTH FROM ABOVE. Anyway. It's good to know Cartography. Gotta know where Uruguay is in relationship to Djibouti. Steep drop off in quality from Funniest Country Name to Second Funniest Country Name. WELL that's the world we live on I guess. What's the least funny country name. Lemme look at a map. Just googled, "Most Serious Country Name." First thing that came up was Afghanistan. Something to keep in mind! Kinda sounds funny now that I think about it. Kinda like laughing in church. Now that I know I'm NOT supposed to find Afghanistan funny it's starting to Crack Me The Fuck Up. To be fair Afghanistan came up for unrelated reason. There is really nothing on the internet actually devoted to the discussion of Most Serious Country Name. With Afghanistan they're just talking about Most Serious Country With Issues In General.
     Yeah! Huh. People who named Uruguay KIND OF knew what they were doing, right? They were beign tongue in cheek about it from the start. Anyway! Let's see. POOR entry today. We can call it Mediocre all we want but we know what the deal is. Mediocre For All. That's the platform I'd run under if I ran for office. Not sure what that means exactly. "Mediocre," resembles, "Healthcare?" A little bit! Some letters are kind of close! I GUESS. OH. "Medicare!," THAT'S what it reminds me of moreso! Great. Mediocre For all then is my campaign promise in the sense that I promise to campaign on it if I ever were to promise to campaign on something. Whatever. Any funny Ocean Names. Of course not. There's only four. I TINK if one of the four Ocean Names was funny it'd be at the forefront of our minds all the time. Okay.   If the oceans ever teamed up to be one huge complete congruous body of water WE WOULD BE FUCKED. I don't like it!

   Paraguay is like WHAT DO I GOTTA DO to get some laugh recognition. Nothing it can do! As long as Uruguay is on the map Paraguay isn't gonna get a single distinct chuckle! Kinda sucks. Gonna finally due some laundry tomorrow. I was thinking what's the appropriate amount of time to Jokingly refer to The Last Time I Did Laundry. Like I'll be doing laundry tomorrow for the firt time in three years. Then I realized it's the first time I'm doing laundry in 3 or 4 weeks which Already Is A Joke. So basically the moral of the story is Laugh At Me: The Person Who Can't Take Care Of Himself! It's Funny. What, I Amuse Myself Like a Clown? I Make Me Laugh? Yeah, pretty much! Do clowns make people laugh. I don't go to Circii often but when I see them represented in TV or cinema I never see any clowns on stage KILLING.
    Not sure how we're supposed to respond to people in clown make-up on stages doing whatever they're prone to do. I guess better to laugh WITH them than most other responses. We don't want to antagonize them, that's for sure. On my list of people I don't want to piss off, people in clown make up are near the top of my list. Huh. Is it called The Circus because it's performed IN TEH ROUND. My guess? Sure! Clowns are kind of like The MC of the Circus, right? I guess I don't really know what professional clowns do. I think they introduce the acrobats and whatknot. They must do their own crap, too, though, right? SURE. They put the make-up on for something, right! Gotta be SOMETHING to it!   Hmm. There should be a circus where you need to have clown make-up put on you before you're admitted and then the clown has no make-up on him and the clown just keeps going THINK ABOUT IT during the performance. PEOPLE WILL THINK IT'S SMART AND GREAT.
    Okay. Well severely underperfroming in Improve Class yesterday makes it a lot easier to Lean Towards taking Online Pilot Class next month instead of Improve 301. GOOD. All the Improve Class work is DOWN TEH DRAIN. Not really! Overally it was okay! I think I learnt I can Improve under optimal conditions. And that I can ACT IN GENERAL under adequate conditions. Acting isn't so hard. Just DO THE THING. It's called ACTING. I learnt by doing it. Giving it The Ol' Once Over. ACTING. So now in Online Pilot Class (OPC) when I write Theoretical Pilot I can imagine Pilot Part for myself. I CAN WRITE ALL PILOT PARTS FOR MYSELF. Imagine myself in all the roles. Sounds like one way to go. Possibly an incorrect way. Great! I know the Pilot I wanna write. GOT THE PREMISE ALREADY WORKED OUT. The LOGLINE and everything as they say in the business. Don't worry about it! Wow!
     Penultimate paragraph. It's called PILOTS and it's a show about Airport Pilots. THEY FLY AIRPORTS BACK AND FORTH FROM ONE AIRPORT TO THE NEXT. Okay. That national story about the Non-Sleeping Mushroom Taker who almost took down the plane is good inspiration for a Sitcom about Pilots I think. Makes me wanna see into that world! What WOULD these characters in these settings be like! That's an idea waiting to pop. Certainly now that it's fresh in everyone's heads. Anyway. Gonna be TOO LATE to get the pilot I'm writing for the 2024-2025 TV Season. THIS AIN'T GONNA HIT BOOK STORES until 2025-2026 THE EARLIEST. Huh. Sounds like the future to me. Good. Maybe I should write the pilot with The Future In Mind. WHAT WILL people wanna watch on TV around Spring 2026. Hmm. Everyone will have a FreeStyle Soda Machine in their house like they currently have at the Movie Theaters. That's how far technology will have advanced. Gonna have choices of 200 Soda Combinations AT ALL TIMES. That's gonna influence what they wanna watch on Television.
    Last paragraph! Anyway. What else is going on and crap. I think it's a sad state of affairs that they're telling us one of The Greatest Films of the year is actually Godzilla. I mean I'm BUYING IT FOR SURE. But you TAKE A STEP BACK and think about it... I DON'T LIKE IT. Greatest film of the year SHOULD NOT be A Godzilla. Speaks poorly as to The State Of Cinema I THINK. And trust me I KNOW CINEMA. I've watched a Good 50% of The Classics! Huh. The leftover classics are the crappy classics. You know like SUNSET BLVD. I never seen that crap! Must be pretty terrible! Now that I think about it I've never seen 80% of the Classics. You know films LIKE Sunset Bld. By which I MAY JUST MEAN films that are monochromatic. This may not make sense, but are there any films Any non- black and white monochromatic films? Any Big Budget Films on a GREEN SCALE? Godzilla Himself has Green Scales. YEAH. No. Maybe. Anyway. See ya later!

-5:36 P.M.

Thursday, December 7, 2023

It's Hard To Think Of Titles

    What's going on! Thursday Entry! Got Three Day Weekend coming up. Three Day Weekend is out there waiting as a band name. It's a combination of Three Doors Down and The Weeknd. Seems like something an AI could come up with, then! What's artificial about Artificial Intelligence. It's Organic in SOME way. It KIND OF EXISTS in SOME sense. Just cause it's MECHANICAL and TECHNOLOGICAL doesn't mean it's not REAL. Give credit where credit is due. It's still A Real Thing. Huh. Might not be intelligence, though. I'm protesting it being Artificial. Maybe I should be protesting it being Intelligent. IT'S KNOWLEDGE NOT INTELLIGENCE. Figure out the difference yourself if you dare! Anyway I've certainly given us all Not A Lot To Think About Because It's Dumb that's for sure! What does Artificial Intelligence LOOK LIKE. I need to be able to PICTURE what I'm scared of. Off the top of my head I'm picturing the scene in Jurassic Park where they have the educational film explaining how they created Dinosaurs showing the millions of codes of DNA flying by representing how they go through and mix Dino DNA with Frog DNA. But instead of DNA for Artificial Intelligence it's codes of other stuff. THAT'S, that's Artificial Intelligence. No it's not.
    I hate to break it to me but I think Artificial Intelligence is pretty straight much up Intelligent! DAMNIT. At least most of us probably only get Watered Down version of AI. Whew. Most people don't get Risky Scary Version of AI I assume. Only Dangerous High Level People get Dangerous High Level AI! Hmm that doesn't sound good either. It's called MIDDLE GROUND COMPROMISE. My guess is within a couple of years Each Of Us Has An AI Friend. Each person just gets their own Specific AI Friendship Friend. And that's how the technology is framed. And the AI Friendship Friend just helps us out with our life as much or as little as we want! Could be worse. They can always FORCE US to have the AI Friendship Friend run our life. NOT A FAN. I'm gonna utilize MY AI Friendship Friend very little. I wanna live my life myself. MAYBE get my AI Friendship Friend to do my CODING for me. AND I HARDLY CODE AT ALL. So it'll barely ever come up!
    NO SPOILERS. That's my general approach with my AI Friendship Friend. It can offer me lots of insight into everything and what's going on and how to live my life and do creative things for me and lots of stuff but NO THANKS. Gonna wing this one myself. And NO SPOILERS on the mysteries of the universe which AI will probably figure out. Probably. I guess! Might get left behind when everyone else and their AI Friendship Friend are making progress in the world while I'm alone with myself. Who cares. I'm FINE with my lot in life. That's not necessarily accurate but you get the idea. AI Friendship Friend can always force itself on me. Could put up a fight to be my friend. WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. I don't like it. But I might not have a choice in the matter! Tonight is the first night of Chanukah. On the first night of Chanukah my true love gave to me FIVE GOLDEN RINGS.
    What are you gonna do with Five Golden Rings. I wouldn't know what to do with THREE Golden Rings. Let alone Five. I think I'm gonna see Godzilla nexst week or the week after! Not up to it this weekend! Anyway. Three Doors Down. That's a lot of doors to get through. You gotta be actively counting at that point. Lemme walk away from this door... okay this is ONE door down... keep walking... now we're TWO doors down... keep walking.... THREE doors do-- OKAY THIS IS IT. Huh. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. THREE DOORS DOWN is a quicker walk than I thought it would be! Huh. Who was the third member of The Doors to die. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter AT ALL! When Zombie Jim Morrison died for the second time. Oh okay that's good.
    Sure! I dunno! Oh I Know when this is over I'm gonna watch THE HELL out of several minutes of Indiana Jones. Not gonna commit to the whole thing! Might lose interest in it! But I'll give it Some Shot! Hmm. When God closes The Doors he opens The Windows. Any band with Window in its name. Oh of course The Windows 97s. What a terrible joke. Windows 97 isn't one of the most famous Windows operating systems. 95 would be the most appropriate joke. I LIKE 97! GOT CHARACTER. GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT. Windows 97 was the Artificial Intelligence Friendship Friend of its time! I guess! I assume it's called Windows because you have the option of having several different windows open at the same time. A folder of GIFS or something in the top left of the screen. A folder of ZIP files on the bottom right. Maybe AOL featured prominently almost covering up the entire screen smack dab in the middle. I dunno how you live your Comp Life a long time ago.

    Hey! Got Starbucks iced coffee! I figured TREAT MYSELF in the only way I know how-- MILDLY. I figured TREAT MYSELF in the only way I know how-- WILLIAMS. I figured TREAT MYSELF in the only way I know how-- MENT. Will I learn Treatment in Pilot Writing Class. Or is that INVALID as a topic for pilots. Hmm. Trick or Treat. Can't forget about that one. I did forget about that one. I WON'T NEXT TIME you can be sure of that. Solid chance I get pizza for dinner. What percentage of time in the 21st century America Halloween Situations are households dealing with Tricks instead of Treats. Gotta be under .1%, right? I haven't seen it happen once in my entire lifetime experience. Virtually every Halloween Transaction is a Treat and not a Trick. So much so that if there WAS a trick it would make the news. Front page of the local news on November 1st might be TRICK PLAYED ON LOCAL FAMILY.
    I assume Tricks are generally Egg Throwing or Toilet Paper Covering. Pretty good tricks. Watch me transform your house or front yard trees from Clean to Unclean. IT'S MAGIC. You can't egg trees. That'd just be confusing. What are you trying to accomplish with that. Hmm. If you manage to land an egg in a branch without it breaking you might TRICK a bird into protecting the egg for a while. Then the bird eventually catches on Why isn't this ever hatching. Anyway. Just realized I forgot to use External Keyboard for today's entry! THINK I'll break it out for the last three paragraphs. PLUS the rest of this paragraph! Hmm. HI. Nice keyboard. Elevated keyboard. On stilts. BIG slanted keyboard. Kinda feels like I'm trying to compensate for something or something. Whatever.
     Okay. What are some other tricks you can play for Halloween. Stay Home. Everyone will wonder where you are. Okay. I think Halloween should be a meritocracy where the amount of candy you get is proportional to the quality of your costume. WHAT are we teaching kids if everyone gets the same candy despite different levels of costumes. That's SOCIALALISM. Gotta teach em some WORK ETHIC. Show em that HARD WORK PAYS OFF. GETS YA CHOCOLATES. Very little of that makes sense. Wow. So you're saying SOME OF IT makes sense! Amazing! Anyway. For 12 Days Of Christmas Christmas Song what's this obsession with My True Love Giving Me stuff. Kind of implies the existence of one or many FALSE loves. What went wrong with your life that False Loves are a big problem. God Damn FALSE LOVES. I mean I guess it happens. I just don't know why it's important in terms of Christmas Gift Giving Song. Seems like a strange CONTEXT to bring it up. Hey we're talking about Christmas Fortnight Gift Giving but first let me just emphasize my FALSE LOVES HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
   Let's get that out of the way! Two more paragraphs to go. I guess that's the moral of the story of the song. The real Christmas Gift Of Them All IS The True Love. Not the gifts the true love gives. WELL THAT'S GOOD. Huh. Are you giving your True Love any gifts yourself? Cause you don't mention doing so! SEEMS KIND OF WEIRD. Your partner is giving you a gift TWELVE DAYS IN A ROW and you're like wow this is great! each time but you DON'T RECIPROCATE AT ALL. Seems kind of weird! Anyway. Guess I can finish Indiana Jones tonight. Seems like an easy option to follow through on. Also I'm starting to wonder if maybe the only reason you consider this person your True Love is because they're giving you All These Christmas Gifts. That's not a healthy relationship!
    Whatever. Almost done with the entry. SURE I gotta do some light proofreading later on. Whatever. A little late in the year to be doing Halloween Riffs. Or a little early in the year some might say! It's always Halloween somewhere! Ugh. Where did Ugh come from. Do people ever say Ugh out loud. MY GUESS is it came from Comic Strips. AND/OR cavemen. Google Origin of Ugh. Google do I care enough to care. Google move on with my lives. Been a while since I dealt with a ZIP File. I used to HATE Zip Files. But now that it's been a minute, I miss 'em! Feel real sentimental about Zip Files. Go figure. AZ Zip Files. YEAH. Zip Files must still be a thing. I'm just not a big Downloader these days! THAT'S ON ME. Well great. Guess I'll see you at a future date! See ya!

-5:03 P.M.

Wednesday, December 6, 2023

A Lot Of Good That Does

    Hey, friends. Had a scone for lunch. Frozen Cinnamon Super Market Scone. It. Was. GREAT! They gave it to us AU FREEDOM a few months ago and I never got around to baking it until today. Baked 2 Perfection! Crispy on outside. Soft on inside. Medium in the theoretical in-between. There IS NO in-between the outside and the inside of A Scone! But IF THERE WAS I BET it'd be Appropriately Mediumishly Textured! Norman Lear died. I read his autobiography several years back. I can't help but feel somewhat responsible. ALL HAIL KING LEAR is my pitch for a headline for an article specifically about the outpouring of praise for Norman Lear Post-Mortal Coitus. What's my favorite Normal Near show? Looks like None! I didn't watch Any Of Them! Sorry Norm! YA STRUCK OUT with Michael. Who else died recently. Probably some more people named Norman. I'd guess 10-20 people named Norman died in, what, the last six hours? Twelve hours? How long does it take for A Dozen Normans to die. Huh. Could take a while.
    Made myself House Hot Coffee! First time in a long time! No cream! Got rid of it a long time past! It would have conjugated by now, though, even if I had it saved from 2+ years ago! Started watching the new Indiana Jones movie. So far the Relic in play sounds interesting. It does something with Fissures in TIME. They don't expound on what that means but my imagination is filling in the gaps! Trying to, at least. I'm Considering Thinking about it anyway is the point! When was the last Harrison who died. Lemme LTURQ. Hmm. Considering skipping Improv 301 and taking an UCB TV Pilot Writing Class instead! I can always GO BACK to improv afterwards if I want! But THIS WAY I can do something I ACTUALLY might be good at and/or can use. So it's definitely somthing to consider thinking about anyway. So there's that along with who was the Last Dead Harrison. Pilot Class is online. Meaning the social aspect of improv class is mostly gone. But for a worthy cause! Pilot. Polite Pilot. Huh. Did any kids ever buy Flight Simulator in the 90's. I remember OFTEN looking at the box. Thinking it looked like fun. But knowing in my heart of hearts it wasn't a flat out game. Never went all out and bought it! Huh.
    Interesting. IS Harrison Ford gonna Get Some Bootay in this film. So far he IS NOT. About fourty, fourty five minutes in. No progress on Getting Any! Not very promising. They can always CGI some in near the end. SAW SUPER MARIO BROS last night. I didn't like it. Was not good! I didn't... it's... just... CAN WE NOT. Peach sounded hot but besides that who cares. I guess I like some of the soundtrack. You throw up a dozen of well known popular music songs onto a big budget Major Motion Picture sure I'll enjoy hearing some of the songs distilled. Can't go wrong with that. HEY. I REMEMBER THIS SONG FROM BEFORE. I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME. That's movies for ya. I'M USED TO a Luigi that's more of a sidekick. This Luigi is a bit more ALPHA in relation to Mario than I'm accustomed. TO BE FAIR I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.
     Alright! Gotta to go to Movie Theatre to see Godzilla Plus One on Friday. Which I assume is about a Wedding Invitation. Who gonna be Godzilla's Plus One. MRS. Godzilla. It's possible Godzilla itself is a MRS. SO WAHT. Mrs Godzilla could be with another MRS Gotzilla IT'S 2023. How come people are always telling you what year it is. Hey This Can Happen IT'S WHATEVER YEAR IT IS. SHUT UP ABOUT THE YEAR. I know what year it is! I don't care about it! And besides pretty soon it won't even be accurate anymore! Anyway. Godzilla Minus Zero/No Limit ain't playing in my Preferred Theatre. Gotta go to back up theater. Gotta take Multiple busses! Oh well as long as it's for a good cause. Architecture Design Computer Program was another, "Game," I considered getting as a kid! Kinda seemed fun. HOWEVER it was also just a professional tool either for Archie Students and/or Arch Professionals. I can't do that! I wouldn't have had the skill set! I was only A CHILD for Godzilla's Sakes.
     Whatever! I SAY Norman Lear had a finger in a Movie Pie that I enjoyed. Let's see! Nope. Not seeing anything! NOT A THING. Well that's life I guess. Not being able to see a thing! 'Specially if you're Blind. Real Special. Anyway Hey I'm not Not Retarded I'M JUST DIFFERENTLY SPECIAL. I'm gonna guess the people who did 9/11 started out just trying to have fun with Flight Simulator and then Took It Too Far. BEGAN INNOCENTLY ENOUGH and then it just got to be too much. Hmm. Remind me to never say that out loud to people. Probably could remember myself by Not Remembering It. All I have to do is Forget The Thing and that'll Accomplish Me Remembering Not Saying It. How many Popes have been named Luigi. And have they ALL worn Green Papacy Caps. Hmm. No Marios OR Luigis. SEVEN BOWSERS THOUGH.

    Cool! Maybe I can have Second Scone for dinner. Second Scone is some sort of wonderful dream not a reality! I'm gonna have Steak & Tater Tots and/or Wide Fettuccini Al Fredo. Those are dreams wonderful dreams too. Is it possible Life Is But A Dream. I don't have the facts and figures in front of me. But, sure, I guess, I'd say it's conceivable! Probably SOME JERK'S dream. That's my guesstimation. Not even being dreamt up by some great guy or gal. Just some asshole. Whatever. I heard Harrison Ford did all his own stunts and 60% of other people's stunts, too! EVEN the people who look nothing like him. Cause that's the kind of team player he is! When are we gonna start highering Stunt People to just Play The Parts completely. Apparently NEVER. When you do a CGI character In Film do you need to make Stunt Code to use so that the Regular Algorithm that plays the Star doesn't get Bent Out Of Shape? YEAH.
    Okay. I used Eliptication Machine for a solid 33 minutes today instead of 30 minutes. The album I was listening to had 3 extra minutes after I was done! What was I supposed to do, stop listening to it with 3 minutes left LIKE A SOCIOPATH? Or listen to the last 3 minutes without exercising, just standing around, LIKE AN IDIOT? I turned it into a Productive Situation and burnt an extra 30 calories or so! THAT'S RIGHT. I make the most of situations once in a while! Good. What if they made a Godzilla but Godzilla was an order of magnitude larger than any Godzilla we know of. I Mean, yeah, Godzilla is freakishly large already. It's kind of Godzilla's thing! Wonderful. NOW IMAGINE they make a Godzilla TEN TIMES LARGER. GOT YOUR ATTENTION DIDN'T I? Sounds like MONEY IN THE BANK from a producer's stand point DOESN'T IT.
    Eighth paragraph. What's so great about money in the bank. I'm not a banker. I don't own a bank. Money being in a bank does me no good! Maybe I have an account with the bank. Probably not! There's a lot of banks out there! I have an account with BUT ONE. Odds are against This Bank being That Bank. Ugh. How is banker a specific profession. They're no different than Person Who Works Anywhere Else. They DEAL WITH CUSTOMERS and BOOKKEEPING. Just HAPPENS TO BE at a bank. Could JUST AS WELL be at I don't know A CHIPOTLE. NOT SURE what point I was trying to make there. And another thing WHY DO WE NEED BEEKEEPING. Bees doing just fine on their own! Let Them Be! AND ANOTHER THING I dunno whatever. Gotta lean towards the Steak and/or Tater Tots for tonight. That's how I'm gonna live my immediate future lifetime.
    Two more paragraphs to go. I wrote this entry on Laptop Keyboard and not on External Keyboard. Forgot to set up external keyboard! These things happen. Drinking snapple. These things happen. Got some bloodwork done today. Saw therapist for 15 minutes. Good deal. They took my waist measurement. Good. WHY. I DOUBT there's a thing where I weigh a normal amount but my belly circumference is 3 or 4 inches out of the ordinary and they're like OH NO THIS IS NOT GOOD and ALSO it's because of this One Specific Drug you're on! I don't see it! WHAT A, "WAIST," OF TIME! Next time I'm gonna say you can check my waist measurements BUT I'M KEEPING THE TAPE RULER. I don't think I have the authority to say that. But I can give it a shot! Can't hurt to try to sell Demanding The Tape Ruler as compensation if they insist on Checking My Stomach Circumstance. Also I ALREADY have it in my hand. I have to hold it while they wrap it around me. So the transaction is half complete already!
   Yeah. Hmm. What's a good Dial Of Destiny. Any good phone numbers I remember. What was Pizza Hut. The only number I MIGHT remember from Childhood was Pizza Hut and Nope I can't remember it. So NO I can't remember any phone number AT ALL Past Or Present. Shucks. I think Pizza Hut ended with some 6's but not ALL OUT 666. But definitely SEVERAL sixes, that's all I'm sayin'! Huh. 776-0606. That's the number! Still in service. I doxxed them good!! Now you can crank call them and order pizzas. Delicious. I know My Own Phone Numbers. That's really pretty much it! Which is ironic because the only person in the world I will never need to reach out to talk to is Myself. I'm Right Here. Not going anywhere! Always will be Beside Myself. I think. That's how it works I think. I need to know my number to SHARE with other people. Look shut up about it okay. I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:25 P.M.

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

I'm Mostly Okay With This Entry

    Hi! Gotta write another entry today. Tuesday. Had another fun experience doing The Eliptical Machine. Microsoft Frontpage does not recognize Eliptical as a word. I do. What if it were spelled, "Elliptical." WELL IT IS. SO. I was wrong and the computer was right. BETTER GET USED TO SAYING THAT. That's the rest of our lives! That's gonna be our mantra. I was wrong and the computer was right. I chose not to have lunch today. Is that, too, a "The Rest Of Our Lives?" thing? I dunno! My Future Lunches Or Nots is up in the air. Remember in The Entourage when TURTLE was like, "E, don't give me no LIP. It TICs me off. That's ALL." Then the guys laughed about it and, I dunno, High Fived or something. I dunno I forget what they do with each other that expresses their Friendlihood. I was imagining some physical Group High Fives but it was probably more dialogue that was metaphorically like high fiving. IF you're doing a Group High Five THE ULTIMATE is to have 5 hands in the high five group. You'd need to get Jeremy Piven in on that action, then. Well duh that's what he's there for.
   Sure! E's ex girlefriend could High Five with them. We've already established I'm aware she exists in the Entourageverse. She's on The List Of People In Show! Who else. They drive around in a car. Car could complete a Five Way High Five. CARS ARE PEOPLE MY FRIEND. Hmm. The Entourage is on their way towards getting a Dog in the first episode. Future Dog can High Five. I BELIEVE The Dogs Are Our Future. Used to be Children. I lost faith in children being our future. Now I say Dogs Are Our Future! That's not so bad. I personally don't like dogs but I respect that lots of other people like dogs. And I LIKE that other people like dogs and I got NOTHING AGAINST dogs. I LIKE THAT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE LIKE ABOUT DOGS EXISTS EVEN THOUGH I PERSONALLY DON'T LIKE DOGS FOR THOSE THINGS. Nice shaggy exterior. Means nothing TO ME. But if you like it? I like that you like it!
   I may be off base with that being my first reference. Is that on the Family Feud Board for What do Dog Lovers Like About Dogs. "SHOW ME NICE SHAGGY EXTERIOR?" I dunno. PETABLE has got to be up there! That's really what was in my mind more or less with the NSE. PETA? What is this the... People for the Ethical Treatment of... Animals? Probably Nailed That. I bet I got that EXACTLY. Wow. I did. I got something right. CUE THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE IN MY HEAD. How long should it last? I dunno. 2-5 seconds! Why do they point out in the first word that they're, "People." Sounds like it's kind of ELITIST. They're all about THE ANIMALS but now you're telling me that First Things first they gotta make clear They're The BEST Animal. Real Tacky. Animals For The Ethical Treatment Of People. What.
   Trivia Question For 200 Dollars-- what band plays the Opening Song For Entouarge. WHAT IS JANE'S ADDICTION. That's a fun trivia game. Ask myself questions I know the answer to! It's a game because I briefly forgot. So I had fun AND I learnt something. Learnt something I already knew. I didn't know it for a while. Then I knew it again! I can't wait until I forget again. Remember Some Stuff EVEN BETTER Instead. Gonna be Great! I wonder if Jeremy Piven met any real life Hollywood Agents to get into character for his role in The Entourage. Try to search out someone with that job description and hook up with them to see what they're like. What does that mean. Some sort of joke I think. What is Jane's Addiction. Lemme look at some Album Titles for clues. Hmm. I'm getting nothing. Lemme look HARDER. One of the four album titles is in Spanish. Jane's Addiction is BILINGUALISM.
    YEAH. Not sure I'm happy with The Marijuana I got this Sunday. Still gets me high! Just not my favorite high. That's life! That's my aspirational mantra from now on. Live a life that's constantly Just Not My Favorite High. Hey, I saw they're opening up a Marijuana Shoppe in my neighborhood! That's great. At this point not that exciting anymore. I've been taking Not My Favorite High Pills! Why would I be excited about THAT. Possibly because Being Excited is better than THE ALTERNATIVE. What is The Alternative to being excited. YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW. THE LESS SAID THE BETTER. Being not excited AT ALL comes to mind as possible alternative. WHY IT GOTTA BE ON EXCITEMENT SPECTRUM AT ALL. Hmm. Maybe the alternative to being excited is Being Sleepy. That tracks. Lots of things track. Why does everything track these days.

    Whatever. Gonna have Stuffed Shrimp and Stuffed French Fries for dinner soon. They're stuffed with French Fry Filling. Potato. They're enclosed with French Frey Wrappings. Fried. WHATEVER. What kind of porn have I been looking at lately. Lets get into the KNITTY GRITTY stuff. Hmm. I've been Liking the stuff with the important things. Important qualities in a girl really get me going. I also like it when THINGS HAPPEN sometimes. I GET OFF ON THAT SHIT. Lemme stop myself right there. I'm getting distracted. I can't get, "Things Happening," out of my mind now! Holy Shit and imagine if it involves a Girl with Important Qualities. Hmm. Makes sense. What else. Maybe enjoy the rest of Nighttime. Stay up late. Watch an extra FILM or something. Kick Back Relax why not I got all the time in the world I shouldn't waste it sleeping I should spend it watching Films.
     Fine! Oh I Know I can watch another Uplifting Race Relations film. I've watched 2-5 of them the last week or so. TIME to watch some more. Not sure what I get out of these sentimentals. They're GOOD. I can relate to all the characters because we're all the same deep down.   In a way AREN'T WE ALL white and/or black? I think so. That's not Deep Down. That's the encasement. Polar opposite of deep down! I guess in some regard we can be White or Black deep down but if we take it literally it refers to SKIN COLOR and it's As Far From Deep Down as humanly possible! BUT FOR EXAMPLE if I listen to Stereotypical White Music then YES you could say I'm White Deep Down. Improv Brain-- do your job!-- what's a good White Person Music Reference. Hmm. The GOO GOO Dolls. I was gonna say THE FOO FIGHTERS but I hit a, "G," instead of, "F," and I just WENT WITH IT MAN. Go with the Flow! That sounds like WHITE PRIVILEGE. Being able to go with the flow is White and/or Male Privilege. Sounds about right! Sounds about VERY right.
    Sure! Flow backwards is Wolf. SURELY that can be utilized by Language Using People Or Something somehow somewhere, right? White people HAVE no flow. When it comes to music. Take my word for it, I know! I'm a white person who aspirationally liked music but it all came apart on account of I Have No Flow! I had a bit of hustle! Not enough flow, though! Sure. John Denver. I don't know who John Denver is. He MAY have sung Rocky Mountain High. It's ironic because his name is Denver which is friends with the Rocky Mountains. I think he's a White Person Musician though is the point. I MAY just be thinking of Snow. Snow is white. His name makes me think of snow. That might be what's at play here. Hey. Maybe I can get into reading again! The New Routine with Elliptical instead of All The Walks OPENS UP TEH DAY for some reading time! WOW. Gonna look at a bunch of letters in a row. Look at it like it was nothing!
    Two paragraphs to go! I guess! OH. I can watch the new Indiana Jones movie tonight! That sounds like a solid way to go. Guy gonna lash out his whipping lasso at people. That'd be my guess. Why have it if he ain't gonna use it. Because THE THREAT of it being used can GET HIM WHAT HE WANTS. Huh. He has it precisely so he WON'T have to use it. It's a deterrent and whatknot. AH OKAY so that's how archeology works. Guy who thinks The Rocky Mountains is a Mount Rushmore but each President is a Rocky Balboa differently aged from a different Rocky Sequel. Oh okay that's good. Rocky looks pretty much the same in the first half dozen Rockys probably. But I guess Rocky SUPERFANS can worship at the summit of Rocky II Head knowingly instead of Rocky III head. THEY can tell the difference. And that's all that counts! What's going on.
   Did you know that Rocky Mount Rushmore is the only manmade structure you can see from Space. And IT ALONE is what's convincing Aliens to Leave Us Alone. Cause it's true! Anyway. It's not really manmade structure. It's Man Molded Earth. Whatever. What does Seeing Things From Space mean. I'M IN SPACE RIGHT NOW. We're talkin' 12 or 14 feet from the ground. Where's my gold medal. Space begins where atmosphere ends. There's an answer for everything I guess! Except for The Unanswerables. WELL that's about it for today. About WHAT. Huh. I DON'T KNOW. Oh. Good time today! Wasn't the best entry ever, no. I may not have a good time reading it in the future! But I had a fine ol' time writing it, though! And you can't take that away from me. Wait a second, I just wrote it and now it's over and I won't ever experience it again. You. Took It. Away. FROM ME! Oh well such is life. See ya tomorrow!

-7:20 P.M.

Monday, December 4, 2023

No Titles Please

    Hi, friends! What's going on?! I'm Watching Some TV!   I AM 5/8ths into Improv 201 class. This class is starting to Gaslight me into thinking I'm Good At It, too! FIRST Improve 101 class was trying that nonsense. NOW this class is getting that way, too! Acting like I'm good act acting funny. TRY THAT ON SOME OTHER SUCKER. Cause THIS one ain't BITING. "NOW this class is getting that way?" What is this The National Organization OF WOMEN? In other news EXERCISE-WISE Started doing ELIPTICATIONAL Machine for 30 minutes in the morning and only taking 2 Regular Walks after that over the course of the day. Elpitation Machionational Machine is a substitute for an entire three walks! YES!. Started watching Entourage: The Show about The Entourage. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. You got TURTLE. You got THE VINCE. I think I'd enjoy most of being VINCENT CHANCE. You know the having sex with beautiful women. DELIGHTFUL. Wouldn't like the Responsibilities. Moozin' And Schmoozin. Walking around. Shake hands a lot. It'd. Get. BORING.
    Don't forget about John Drama. He's old but He's Still Got It! He cooks for them. He wears a chef's hat that says, "Always Cookin!" Is that partly untrue? AM I LYING? Yeah, probably! Been watching Recent Family Films. Found a wealth of family films from the last few years on Oh I Don't Know NETFLIX. You know BIG BUDGET family films that had no Major Motion Picture House Release. Just STREAMER release. GOOD. Now we're all caught up Familywise. TIME TO MOVE FORWARD with our lives and plans. Is it weird for the Other Entouragers that, "E," is the only real person. I MEAN does Johnny Drama ever lay around thinking MAN IT'D BE NICE TO BE A FULL REAL PERSON. YOU KNOW, SOMETHING LIKE, "E." On account of He's got an EX Girlefriend. TAHT MAY BE ALL I'M BASING THIS ON AS OF NOW. NO THAT'S NOT ALL. I remember from First Tiem Around Watching It Thinking I think E is ALL OUT TWO DIMENSIONAL as a character. Whereas the rest of them are One Dimensional. E has 2 dimensions! SO FAR THOUGH THIS TIME AROUND he has an Ex Girlefriend. That's it. That's WHAT HE'S GOT that NO ONE ELSE has!
    YEAH. VINCE IS A DOT. E IS A LINE. Case Claused. Christmass is coming up. Wonder what gift I can give the world. Giving Is The Best Gift You Can Get. Kinda Leave It Alone A Bit. The World. Give the world SOME SPACE. Probably the best thing I can do For The World. Huh. Is there an, "E," train in NYC. Must be! I don't know it, though! OH INTERESTING I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND TAHT'S HOW THE E TRAIN GOES. Not a terrible Train AT All! I'm surprised I haven't taken the E train. Guess there's always tomorrow! Except for Last Day Ever. Anyway. When's Chanukah. What can I Give The World for Chanukah Oh I Don't Know a TELL ALL BOOK about DRIEDAL STRATEGY. There's no strategy for Driedel. You either spin it or don't. I think. NO GAMEPLAN AT ALL. Spin it and ACCEPT WHAT TEH FATES DICTATE or STAY HOME and don't play.
    I can TELL TEH WORLD how the internet says to spell Driedel cause Microsoft FrontPage And I don't know. Driedel. Good! That's how I spelled it Once Or Twice the last few times! YES!. This may sound weird but I KIND OF remember being exceptionally good at Driedal. In my memory I just sort of can picture Yeah More Often Than Not I COME OUT ON TOP when driedeling. To be fair it's not too large a sample size. Probably played Driedel 5-10 times in my life. So if I came out on top 6 or 7 times out of 10 it's not that notable or out of the ordinary. So that's good. Seems kind of weird that they proudly teach you Driedel in Hebrew School. It's just gambling. They're teaching you a A Gambling Game when they're in third grade. You can't play Driedel without some sort of Gambling Input Units In Play. Bible gotta have something to say against gambling, right? Gotta be a sin or something. Even if not, you don't wanna encourage KIDS. And if so, Now you're WAY OUTTA LINE. E LINE. VINCE DOT. NOT A FAN!
   Sure. Let us see when Chanukah starts this year. Thursday Evening! ALRIGHT. Channukah is for THE BIRDS. Ain't for SERIOUS Jews like me. ALL FUN AND GAMES. Other holidays are TEH REAL DEAL SERIOUS BUSINESS. Channukah is MID. Whatever. How come kids use MID as an insult. Do they know MID is IN THE MIDDLE? And that IN THE MIDDLE is PRETTY DECENT? People, "dissing," "Mid," NEED A SERIOUS ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT. They're saying, "ONLY THE BEST FOR ME!!!" WHAT ASSHOLES. LET'S GET RID OF THESE JERKS SOMEHOW. Hmm that might be too far. LET'S THINK OF A WAY TO KNOCK THEM DOWN A NOTCH OR TWO THOUGH THEN. Oh okay that sounds okay. Huh. What's going on. Real crappy performance in yesterday's Improv Class from me! Just real underwhelming. Nothing real good to speak of at all. Hmm. What can I remember specifically. THE LESS SAID THE BETTER. HOWEVER I can aspirationally say next week I can reach being, "Mid." It's possible! I've been MID before. I'll be MID again. But I've been Less Than Mid a lot too along with Jake a lot too.

    Less than JAKE? I don't know any JAKE. I can't remember meeting a Jake in my entire lifetime or any of YOUR lifetimes either. I can imagine plenty of you knowing Jakes but nobody told me anything about it! Looks like I'm getting Chocolate Chip Pancakes (CCP) for dinner tonight! I had Part II of II of General Tso's chicken for lunch. YES. I know there's 2-3 accepted spelling of Hannukah so I feel empowered to spell it ANY way I want. I can go NUTS and spell it one of ANY DOZEN of ways. WHOSE GONNA COMPLAIN. There's already a lot of chaos and confusion in how to spell it and I can CAPITALIZE on that situation and SPELL IT IN A WAY NO ONE WANTS. Hmm. IS the menorah bad for Global Warming. GONNA HAVE TO LOOK INTO THAT. Or not. Gonna solidly Not Look Into That and nobody gonna give a shit!
    Sure! Got some sort of birthday coming up in an 8 Days A Week. Thirty Five Years Old. Oh No! Life is going nowhere! However on the bright side life is going towards Death. So it's going SOMEWHERE I guess. That's good. Anyway. How's the war going on in the Israel And Palestine and Gaza and Whatknot. Seems like a lot of innocent people are dying. On the bright side there might be some guilty people dying too by chance. As far as wars go I really don't like this one. VERY mid. Middle east maybe. Maybe I should get 2 eggs with toast and bacon or something. VERY intriguing idea. That's life I guess. Turkey Sausage. Whose gonna stop me. Ukraine war is PRETTY GOOD. WHITE PEOPLE WAR. IS THAT WHY? Probably cause Ukraine is solidly Not Doing anything terrible. It's a good war because I CAN SOLIDLY SUPPORT WHAT ONE SIDE IS DOING MOSTLY UNCONDITIONALLY. Makes sense. Nah. I SAY that it's cause it's WHITE PEOPLE WAR. I'm a racist and it extends to me liking White People Wars. Huh. I'M JEWISH. You'd think so wouldn't you.
    Yeah! Liking White People Wars makes me ANTI-racist. That I LIKE when White People Fight. Right? IT MAKES ME SOMETHING at least. I dunno. I don't like any of the wars. I like the One Two Three Four I Declare A Thumb War. Probably had a terrible losing record at thumb wars. THINKING BACK probably was running like a .100, .150 percentage record in Thumb Wars as a child. JUST HAD SOME WEAK THUMBS. NO SHAME IN THAT. Thumb wars are when you're holding hand and when like when your thumbs are circling each other like two gladiators in the Roman Coliseum. Then one thumb POUNCES on the other. And the other thumb slinks away. And then the process starts up again. It's all very serious. What are other fun games to play when you're a kid. That's about it. I don't remember having much fun as a kid. WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE OLDER. That's a fun game. Sit around and wait until later to have fun.
    Wow. JAKE. Nope. Doesn't ring a bell! If I did know a Jake, though, I can guarantee you He'd Be Dumb! Sounds like a jerk to me! Got some water cooler pitchers of water delivered to the house this morning. Three huge However-Many-Gallon of water cooler pitcher things. Wasn't meant for us. We had them taken away! WE SHOULDA KEPT THEM. Three water cooler sized waters. NOW WE control The Conversation THREE TIMES OVER. We have no water cooler apparatuses to attach them to. SO WHAT. DON'T NEED IT. You can congregate around the Big Bottle Of Water BY ITSELF and have a conversation on The Topics Of The Time all the same. White and/or Not White People Wars. Wintertime Celebration Holidays. Childhood Pasttime Games. The Entourage. Whatever! I can say ASPIRATIONALLY Jewish People are White People. Jewish People are MID White People according to lots of white people though. HMM.
     Last paragraph! It's an honor just to be nominated. HMM. CAN Jews be named Jake. Sounds like Jake can be Jews. Gonna move on with my life at this point! There was Famous Jew named Jacob. Good. I can't listen to podcasts while doing the eliptical. Too intense physically. I cannot focus to an INTERVIEW OR some sort of freewheeling comedy improvisational conversation while doing Elpitical Training! NOPE! Gotta be music. Well that's life for ya. Probably. It ain't DEATH. I am still amongst the living I feel more or less! Abraham and his begotten was THE ORIGINAL The Kardashians. Hmm what would that look like. THAT COULD BE AN IMPROVE SCENE. Let's get some Improvisational Players on that. Cause I CAN'T DO IT, NOT ADEQUATE ENOUGH. Anyway. I'll see ya later.

-7:01 P.M.

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