Thursday, August 29, 2024

Is Now A Good Time

    Hey what's up and crap.  Got myself a nice shot in the arm!  Moderna Covid Vaccine!  It was the least pronounced Needle I ever felt!  Not a fan!  When I shoot up I wanna feel it!  Either way I assume I'm good now.  If I get Covid CVS is legally and spiritually culpable!  Hmm.  It's always been my dream for Others To Be Culpable for anything bad that happens in my life!  I'll take responsibility for the bad stuff in YOUR life.  How about that.  Even trade!  LifeUpdatewise, Halal Cart was closed by the time I got there last night.  He was there but the window was closed and when he saw me he made an X with his arms which I guess is the universal sign for I'm Closed?  I dunno!  Either way I got White Castle instead.  It was great!  It will continue being great!  Still got some for tonight!  I really live a very charmed life!  There's THIS.  There's GETTING TO JERK OFF.  ...What's not to like!  I told myself I was gonna stop talking about Self Service.  Hmm.  Gotta be a Final Time for everything!  So obviously I had to say it one last time!  Hmm.  By that logic I'll have to bring it up At Least Once More Again.  I'm Good At Thinking!
    KamalaWalz interview is at 9!  CNN!  I think I notice CNN content on MAX sometimes.  Maybe it'll be there!  Check your local listings.  Do they still have local listings?  Probably not!  Kids these days Just Don't Know!  Adults these days Still Remember.  GrandFolk these days sit by the window wondering exactly when they'll finally pass on.  Great.  Next entry will be Septembertime!  I think I'm gonna be good at September.  I think WE'LL ALL Be good at September.  Let's set ourselves up well by having a good final August weekend.  Michael's Secret To Success!  Have A Good Weekend To Have Good Weekdays.  The secrets out.  Also I disagree.  The secret to success is Fight Club but I'm not allowed to talk about it!  I've never been in a physical fight.  I just thought about punching myself in the nose right now but I feel that might hurt in an unpleasant fashion!  Anyway.  I wanna start a HUG CLUB.  Where everyone takes turns Hugging Each Other.  But we're Still Not allowed to talk about it.  In fact I think Men would be even more prone to wanting to hide that part of their lives from society.  Did people ever get off sexwise in Fight Club.  First rule of Fight Club, DO NOT TALK about Fight Club.  SECOND RULE of Fight Club, NO BONERS.  I feel like Fight Club would understand that's a normal reaction for some men to have. 
     What about a Fight Club where you fight with your boners.  Swordfighting.  I've never heard or seen that kind of sex/action anywhere.  But now that I think about it, it must exist to some extent.  Fencing with penises.  How do you win.  You win just by participating!  Oh okay but how do you score points.  There are no points.  NO POINTS?  That sounds like my kind of activity!  Hmm.  I don't wanna see that.  But to each their own!  Would I want to DO it?  Well only if I thought I would win. I'm a very competitive person!  What else is going on.  Ugh.  When I wrote CNN earlier I was thinking of the Country Music Television channel CMT and briefly confused it for being CNT and was like Wait there can't be a channel called CNT, can there?  Makes me think of the worst non-racist or homophobic word there is!  Racism and Homophobia words are the worst. THEN ablest and misogynist!  That's how I rank things.  Why.  I dunno!  Just trying to start a discussion!  Couldn't hurt to get the ball rolling on this conversation!  What am I missing.  Anti-Semitic.  Age-ist words??  Google Different Ways Of Hating People.  Well Homophobia would have to incorporate all sorts of Anti-LGBTQ+ whatever words.  GREAT.  They're in the top tier of Let's Not Use These Words!  They Did It!
   WE ALL DID IT.  I'd like to propose a SLGBTQ+ community and it's called Everyone!  Hey let's be friends!  I must have made that joke before.  The time has come for me to make it again, I guess!  When people read back on Current Culture as part of History will they think they're supposed to pronounce LGBTQ as a word.  Cause that's really hard.  LEG BUTT Q.  That's my first try.  Lig Bit Q.  That's my first try where I'm really trying.  Anyway.  Fourth paragraph!  Now I should make sure to go out of my way to say something NO ONE EVER said before!  They call it a community but I doubt every LGBTQ+ person is friends with one another!  And if they are WHAT ARE THEY UP TO EXACTLY.  Anyway.  If I were a dumb person I'd start a Straight Version of LGBTQ.  But each letter is a different KIND of Straight Person.  What kinds of straight people are there.  I DUNNO, help me out here!  There's subsets of Straight People Or Something.  Ideally we even keep the same initials.  That will show the woke mob!  Anyway.  Parents who are trying to put their kids to bed ARE ANTI-WOKE.  It's tuck in time already!  Kids gotta know!
   I'm so against Woke I STAY IN BED ALL DAY.  ALSO I'M 500 POUNDS.  That's how some Republicans might feel.  I assume the Q in LGBTQ is for Q: The Qanon Conspiracy Guy.  That One Person.  So he's allowed to be part of that group of people.  It's only one person but they just really wanted him to be part of their crowd!  Probably not the case!  But we can't know for sure!  Why would anyone want to read that.  No one does want to read that.  They were FORCED to read it.  Oh.  Sorry!  Why would anyone force anyone to read that.  Cause the forcer wasn't thinking straight that's why.  Sorry!  What kind of Improv Games should Harris and Walz play to loosen up for their big interview.  Crazy Eights.  The worst game in the world.  Make em play that shit.  That way we know they're serious about doing WHATEVER IT TAKES to run the country.  If they're willing to feel that foolish we know they'd put IT ALL ON THE LINE in service of this great nation of ours!  What great nation of ours.  AMERICA.  Oh yeah that's a good one.  Hmm.  What else is up.  I'm halfway through the entry!  I'm pretty happy about that!  How does it make you feel?
   ENGAGEMENT.  It's what good writers do.  What else do good writers do.  Write good.  Whatever.  Gonna finish Breaking Bad this weekend!  You idiots aren't even up to the final season yet!  I'm way ahead of the game on this one!  I dunno.  If Beetlejuice was opening this weekend SURE I'd see that!  But it's not!  If Citizen Kane II was opening this weekend SURE I'd see that.  But it's not!  I don't think I've ever seen Citizen Kane I.  NO SPOILERS please on what Citizen Kane is a reference to in the plot.  Citizen Kane was the name of his childhood sled.  DAMNIT.  Anyway.  What would my equivalent of, "Rosebud," dying words be.  I dunno.  I don't plan on going with anyone in earshot.  Probably gonna die alone!  I wouldn't worry about it!  So I got that going for me.  Hmm.  How fun can sledding really be.  Also the SLED ITSELF is the thing he misses?  It's just an instrument!  A means to an end!  Who cares about this piece of wood!  Citizen Kane, I'm sure you're smart in the newspaper business, but you seem pretty stupid when it comes to What You Cherish Right Before You Die!  Ugh.  Is the entry over yet.  Getting there!
    Okay.  What to do.  Got an e-mail from Pilot Class Teacher saying next class he puts together might be a Feature Class or a, "Writer's Room," Class!  I don't know what that means!  I assume Feature Class means writing a Feature Presentation which means a Full Length Film.  I dunno what Writer's Room means!  What, the entire class works together on the same single script?  Either way I said KEEP ME UPDATED cause I'd be interested in whatever the Hell either of those means!  In the meantime I'm probably gonna sign up for Writing For Late Night Television Class that starts on SeptemberThe12.  I'd be RIGHT IN THE THICK OF IT for the 24 election!  Gotta imagine I'd have to write a lot of Politics jokes!  Good.  It's about time The Onus Is On Me.  Haha.  Anus.  It's not funny.  It's a serious thing we all have!  DON'T LAUGH.  Hmm.  No one was laughing.  Oh.  Maybe my, "Rosebud," would be, I Miss When I Was Young As A Kid And People Would Laugh With Me.  Those were good times.  I got positive attention for my humor and had a fun time being the center of attention.  IS THAT a possible last word?  Let's check in with Frank Capra's great grandchild.  What do you mean Orson Welles made Citizen Kane.  THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT.  WAIT A SECOND YES IT DOES.
    Three paragraphs to go.  YES.  I don't want to alarm any of you but I'm going to have to check the mail later when I take a walk!  I guess part of me did want to alarm you.  Otherwise why did I say it!  Either way What's The POINT.  None of this mail is for me!  I guess the amount of mail I get is about 5% of the Household Mail.  WHY BOTHER.  To be a productive member of the family.  Oh okay I like that!  I HATE THE MAIL.  Gotta open it.  Gotta read it.  And for what.  NOTHIN'.  What if I started sending out mail.  Why would I want to inflict mail on other people?  Well maybe I Could Do Mail Right.  If mail is bad but I'm the one Mailing It then all of a sudden I can make mail good!  I dunno that sounds like kinda suspect logic.  Mail by it's nature is very poor!  Anyway.  THAT'S THE KINDA STUFF I'll Never Say Again.  I PROMISE.  MAYBE 2% OF THE TIME.  98% OF THE TIME you read this website IT WON'T BE LIKE THAT, FOR REAL.   
    Penultimate paragraph!   Three Point Five Day Weekend is PRACTICALLY UPON ME.  Good times!  What are my plans for the weekend?  Friday.  Saturday.  Sunday.  That just about covers it!  Shuold be good!  HOLY SHIT I forgot about this bandaid on my arm.  From Covid Shot.  It's the tiniest most non-invasive bandaid I've ever had.  What do you say, folks?  Should I take it off now?  I'm gonna take it off!  Okay there it goes!  Now that story is over!  Huh. Just read a few liens from the upcoming Kamala interview!  Sounds good.  Her values have not changed even if a few of her positions have so the line goes!  That's good!  She has decent values!  We should be pretty pleased with the values she has and the consistency THEREIN.  YEAH.  Politics causes ya to adjust yuor positions here and there!  That happens to 98% of politicians.  I guarantee you your favorite politician has changed positions on stuff before as well.  What if you dislike All Politicians.  Hmm.  Then WELL DONE YOU'RE BETTER THAN ALL OF US.  YOUR AWARD IS STILL IN THE SHOP BUT WE'LL GET IT OUT TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.    
     Last paragraph!  What if Kamala IS your favorite politician.  I guess she is for some people already.  I already like her but if she wins the election that's REALLY gonna make me think she's great.  And then if she Presidents Really Good WHO KNOWS how highly I may regard her one day!  Hmm.  I have a positive view of her as opposed to negative!  That's a good place to start but it's only a beginning!  Where's my award for liking Harris.  THAT'S STILL IN THE SHOP TOO.  Well as long as it's ON THE WAY.  Hmm.  Great.  Anyway.  Don't feel any side effects yet from Covid Shot.  How do I know it's working!  WELL Do I Have Covid? NO?  Then It's Working!  That sounds like poor logic.  So much poor logic afoot in the world these days emanating from all angles!  THE NEWS.  SOCIAL MEDIA.  ME.  EVERYWHERE.  Where can citizens turn to for Good Logic.  Possibly Beetlejuice Beetlejuice but it isn't out yet!  And it'll only last 2 hours!   Huh.  Maybe the Kamala/Tim interview!  That Duo might Drop some LOGIC.  I guess we'll see!  I'll see ya next week!

-4:46 P.M.
   
     

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Why Aren't You Reading The Entry

    Hey!  10 Paragraph Time!  Did I accomplish anything productive over the last 22 hours?  Been jerking off to different kinds of porn.  It's good to see what's out there!  None of these kinks might stick, but I'm glad to be able to relate to all sorts of people at least on occasion!  When it comes down to it we're all freaks in the sheets.  And you can TAKE THAT TO THE BANK.  Bank Porn.  Oh yeah.  Trigger that silent alarm.  Anyway.  I also like it when everything is running smoothly in the bank!  Why does it need to be being robbed!  Could just be a normal day at the bank!  I can appreciate that!  The Good News Is life goes on!  Maybe I need to create more SEXY content.  Think in terms of that.  When I'm trying to write a song, instead of just trying to blindly play things that sound good, I should blindly play things that sound SEXY.  It makes sense because, "Sound Good," is too vague!  Sexy helps me narrow it down a little bit!  Someone must bring Sexy Back Again.  It's been like two decades since Justin Timberlake Brought Sexy Back!  Sexy Must Rise Once More!  And I'm JUST the extremely dark hourse candidate to do it.
   Sure.  I'm never gonna write another song anyway.  Might as well tack on Having The Inexistent Future Song Also Make Me Into A Sex Symbol onto Things That Won't Happen Anyway.  Shoot For The Stars!  There've been plenty of Sexy Songs out there since Justin Timberlake brought Sexy Back.  What a time to be alive!  I don't like it!  Anyway.  What's a good Sexy Song I like.  I don't listen to songs to Sex Me Up.  Music Videos, sure!  But not just music itself.  Music might stimulate or excite me.  Might pique my interest or catch my attention!  But a song alone isn't quite enough to get me in the sexzone.  What song gets me close.  That's a good question.  I don't have a good answer, though.  Really just random songs by female musicians I find physically attractive!  There's no song where the groove really makes me hankering to start spankering. But if I COULD crack the code to make sexy music myself, then that might change everything!  Hmm. I don't see how.  What else is up.  I might get Halal food tonight.  That's exciting!  Not sexually exciting. But I'd be happy to HAVE sex with someone FOR Halal food as a trade.  Not ANYONE.  But if it meant I could have Halal food tonight, I'd have sex with let's say 40% of consenting adults!  Not ALL 40%.  That'd take FOREVER.  I'd have sex with ONE PERSON out of the 40% of Consenting Adults I've determined Eligible For Sex.
   Yeah!  Well none of what I just wrote I Should Want People To Read.  On the plus side I only have to write eight more paragraphs.  HEY I'm gonna get a Covid Vaccine shot tomorrow morning.  MODERNA.  That's the way to go I think!  I'm one of the jerks still wearing a mask in public.  Maybe that's why I like Bank Porn.  I feel like a Wild West Style Bank Robber all the time in public wearing my mask!  Wanna tap into that feeling when I'm doing Private Time.  Makes sense.  WHATEVER.  Might subscribe to Peacock just so I could watch Homicide: Life On The Street.  It's the show that pre-dated The Wire!  I'd be into that sort of shit!  What does HOMICIDE have to do with Life On The Street.  Homicides 9 out of 10 times take place AT HOME.  Hence the phrase, "Home-a-cide."  Any murder police would tell you that!  Also Life On The Street sounds like it's just about homeless people!  MOST PEOPLE don't live their lives on the street.  They have houses.  This show is getting dumber by the minute and all I've done is read the title!  Anyway Kurt Cobain apparently LIED about living Underneath The Bridge.  That part of his story apparently was all made up.  He hung out sometimes underneath a bridge as a teenager!  He was homeless and slept in office buildings and other unsavory places for a time!  But he did not sleep under a bridge.  The More You Know.
    Anyway.  Also he stole the title for that song from Beatles lyrics. Something In The Way she moves attracts me like no other lover.  That always bothered me.  OR I liked it.  I forget.  That happens a lot.  Things make an impression on me and I forget if its good or bad!  Hard to say!  Moving forward I think I'm gonna try to prefer things that make a good impression on me, but that's just my first instinct!  Hmm.  Is this at least the fifth paragraph yet?  It FEELS like the fourth. YEAH.  IT'S ONLY THE FUCKING FOURTH PARAGRAPH.  WE STILL IN THE SHIT OF IT.  Whatever.  Might be getting my Harris Walz shirt next week!  And if not next week, probably the week after!  And if not the week after, probably the week before, next week, like I said!  AND IF NOT EITHER OF THOSE WEEKS I Don't Like The Way They Do Business!  I assume every person that sees me in public wearing a Harris Walz shirt is gonna immediately call up their secretary and go CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS, I NEED TO VOTE FOR HARRIS WALZ RIGHT AWAY.  And that'll be that!  I'll have contributed to society the most!
   Amazing.  What movie shuold I watch this weekend.  The Action Thriller or The Horror Thriller.  Whichever one is more mediocre I suppose.  Anyway I dunno if it's just me, but the Kamala Fundraising E-mails I get are PRETTY persuasive!  I already donated in the form of Buying T-Shirt but the spam e-mails I get every day KIND OF make me think YA KNOW WHAT?  I DO want to donate again!  They're very strongly worded or whatever I guess!  I'm probably not gonna donate again but they're getting me closer than any campaign has in the past to making a Double Donation.  WELL DONE.  I like how they're always asking for fourty dollars cause that's what my t-shirt was, but then out of nowhere they were like Hey how about a ten dollar weekly donation and I was like, WOW ONLY TEN DOLLARS WHAT A DISCOUNT THAT SOUNDS PRETTY FAIR.  Not only is that a fraction of what they usually ask, but in the end, I'll have donated a whole lot more to the campaign actually!  SO WE BOTH WIN!  I DIDN'T opt in for the weekly donation but they got me 10% of the way there considering it which is pretty impressive! 
   Okay.  Great.  The rest of the entry might be okay.  We got through the badness.  Now it's time for some relative goodness!  This entry is taking forever to write.  PLUS I haven't even SAID anything.  Whatever.  Just Keep Doing It.  What does the CVS in CVS stand for.  Convenience Store?  And the CV is both in Convenience and the S is Store?  WHAT THE HELL?  No it's Consumer Value Store.  Oh. I was happy for it to be ConVenience Store.  Ah well.  Hope there's still room on my special lil Vaccine Tally Card for a new one!  At some point I'm gonna have to start a brand new card!  Hmm.  Wednesday.  That's good.  OK TOPICS.  Television.  What's On It! I don't know.  Hmm what's another Topic.  FILMS.  Hmm ya got me I don't know where to begin.  Music.  Yeah that's not something I'm able to talk about right now.  I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.  It's not just that I can't think of something particularly good or really relevant to talk about.  I just can't think of ANYTHING to talk about.  I've Exhausted Everything I Know Or Can Potentially Think Of.  THERE'S NOTHING LEFT.   
   Seventh paragraph!  MEH.  I'll think of something!  What am I gonna do tonight.  I should watch something special instead of just Breaking Bad.  Maybe some sort of FILM.  I dunno.  Put on some Music even!  Whatever.  I KNOW I WATCH THE SIMPSONS.  Can't go wrong there.  The Simpsons are LIFE.  Could be worse!  Sometimes life seems a lot worse than The Simpsons!  But in the end They're Always There At Least!  Same thing though over and over.  So what.  Feels Fresh each time!  I don't know how they do it!  But they did and they should probably get even more credit than they do for what they did!  Hmm.  IF I were to write a Spec Script, and I should, I should definitely write a The Simpsons.  Those are easily the characters I know best.  HMM WHAT'S A GOOD DIALOGUE.  "I'm Homer.  Homer Simpson.  That's my name and that's who I am this week."  And that's Homer talking.  Off the top of my head that's one place to start!  I don't like it.  Not true to the real Homer.  HE'D NEVER SAY THAT.  Also by the time I get around to writing it Homer Might Be Dead.  Wha.  Huh?
   I don't know if I like that!  What a piece of crap.  How did they decide that for a while Homer's favorite food was Pork Chops.  I remember as a kid I interpreted that to be like some sort of Working Class answer.  But now that I think about it I'm not so sure!  Hmm.  Anyway.  AS A KID did I think part of being the head of a family was just going to a bar after work for a few hours?  I dunno!  I don't remember thinking when I'm a Husband and Father I'm gonna spend my free time in a bar.  But at the same time I took for granted that This Was Indeed How Normal People Really Lived.  Hmm.  Why did they need the premise of Moe's Bar for The Simpsons at all originally.  Did they really need Moe or Barney in Season I that much?  NO OF COURSE NOT.  Well they WANTED them.  What's wrong with that.  They FELT like them.  Oh okay very good I guess that's fine.  Is it possible it was all just so they could get to the gimmick of Bart Prank Calling Moe?  Sure!  Anything's possible!  "Anything's Possible!" is a strange phrase.  So Many Things are not AND NEVER WILL BE possible!
   What else is up.  Two more paragraphs!  YES!  Did they ever make a pun, "Duff BEAR," at any point during the series?  Cause if not I would like to work that into my episode!  Not sure how yet!  Anyway I figure it'll take me two more weekends to finish Kurt Cobain Book.  Possibly three!  And then it's onto Jimi Hendrix book!  Which might correspond with me Giving Jimi Hendrix Music a shot!  Is that erotic music?  I don't know.  Mawybe!  Gotta work for SOMEBODY.  NOT ME THOUGH.  It'll get me from Point A to Point B, sure!  But neither of those will be Sex Points!  Unless they happened to be Sex Points From The Beginning.  In which case Good!  ANYWAY.  I was watching The Simpsons a few nights ago and I identified with Homer out of nowhere but now that I think about it I can't be Homer because I'm too short!  He's clearly average height!  And I'm clearly a lot shorter than average!  THUS I can't be Any Character You See On TV!  It's probably good because why would anyone want to be Homer.  Because he has a loving family and a great life in general.  Oh okay sounds nice.
   Last paragraph!  Amazing!  FUN STUFF HAPPENS for him all the time!  It's always a party for Homer Simpson!  Who WOULDN'T want that crazy lifestyle.  Hmm.  Hard to say!  I DON'T KNOW.  The Simpsons might be a fun way to live your life or it might be a little bit too much!  Either way, let's wrap up the entry!  Do people appreciate entries that are bad.  I wouldn't!  But maybe people get something out of Even Shitty Entries.  In which case Wow Your Welcome I Guess It's A Pleasure To Be Here Really I'm Happy It All Worked Out.  And if not then Hey Well I'm Sorry No One's As Disappointed As Me I Guess Moving Forward We're All Gonna Have To Think Carefully About What I Can Do To Write Only Quality Entries From Now On And Actually I Take Full Responsibility For Having To Be The Only Person Who Can Do That.  So that's good!  Anyway.  I KNOW.  I'll Live Life To The Fullest before next entry!  Then I'll have stuff to talk about!  Hmm where to start.  Well NOT just touching myself, we know that.  Cross that off the list.  It's been done!  Hmm where else can I derive pleasure or satisfaction.  That's a tough one.  I'll figure it out though.  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-6:02 P.M.   

    

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

I Don't Wanna Hear It!

    Hi!  What's up!  Gotta do some writing and shit.  That'll be good for everyone.  Up to the last season of Breaking Bad.  Once, just once, I'd like to see things Break Well for Walter White and Friends!  Actually things Break Well for him all the time.  He's put to the test over and over and he manages to make the most out of bad situations by the skin of his teeth constantly!  They should have called the show, "Breaking Up."  Also, do main characters Walter White and his Wife Break Up Relationshipwise over the course of the series?  Yes and no.  Yes in the sense that YES THEY DO but No in the sense that MAYBE THEY DON'T No Spoilers I Wanna Leave You With Some Doubt By Utilizing Confusion.  Hmm.  His name is Walter White.  I can only assume his partner goes by Walter Wife.  That's the title she responds to in the series!  I don't remember specifically but I IMAGINE it to be the case.  Anyway OASIS is back GET OUT OF THE WAY.  They're a Rock 'n Roll band from the British 90's.  YOU may not have had to travel 3+ hours round trip to high school and have Oasis be a good band to take up a lot of that time so maybe you can't appreciate Oasis like Me Can.  Hmm.  Just a good TRAIN band.  Sittin' alone on the train.  Put on some OASIS. I don't know why!
    What about the band Train.  Horrible for Trains.  It's too much of the same thing!  Hmm.  What about the band Sit. I don't think that is a band.  Well, it should be!  Gotta write that down somewhere.  Band name Sit.  Oh hey I just did it.  Also it makes people think of Shit and when they finally think of it They Think They Accomplished Something Productive because it's a super secret meaning. Hmm.  WELL the real origin of the band name goes back to how I ALWAYS FELT at concerts, being really short, not being able to see the band because the person standing in front of me, being too small!   And I'm always just, like, SIT!  That's good interview banter!  No it isn't.  Horrible.  I should be more of a Character giving interviews.  Don't just give straight forward andswers, that's for squareheads!  Oh Okay.  Anyway.  I think all of Noel and Liam Gallagher's problems can be boiled down to Jealousy over Who has the better first name.  Which is tough because they BOTH have really good first names!  I think you could be happy with either Noel OR Liam for different reasons!  And I guess they just finally figured out it was silly to fight over something so stupid!
   It's funny because it's true!  No it isn't.  I'm a liar.  Better a Liar than a LIAM.  THERE, I SAID IT.  NOEL FOREVER.  Namewise.  Personwise I don't care so much I'm sure they're both decent assholes.  Every entry from now on is gonna involve me calling at least one popular musician an Asshole!  Well Oasis and Kanye really are known for being assholes!  Oasis just in the sense that they're Jerky Boys and Kanye in the sense that he's Crazy Anti-Semetic and We Might Extrapolate Who Knows What Else.  Wait, I WAS also calling Kurt Cobain an asshole earlier.  FINE.  MAYBE WE'RE ALL ASSHOLES.  I don't know.  I don't like it!  I don't wanna be on the asshole spectrum!  Then just stop THINKING about Assholes.  But that's how I relate to my heroes!  WHAT. I'm supposed to relate to These People based on GOOD qualities we share?  I DON'T HAVE GOOD QUALITIES.  I don't have Talent or Charisma!  Maybe ONE DAY I did and/or will.  But it doesn't feel accurate to say I have either one of those things!  SO I think I'll just lean into Being A Dick as an alternative to compensate for my feelings of inadequacy!  Ok very good.
    Fourth paragraph!  Let's see.  Might get Subway for dinner tonight.  SANDWICH just feels right for the moment we're in!  So that's good.  Almost halfway through the workweek already!  Just gotta finish this entry!  Last page of the last chapter of Nirvana book just teased the introudction of Courtney Love!  Wow!  Kurt C. Loves Courtney Love.  Talk about repetative syllables!  Courtney Love probably an asshole too!  I dunno yet.  THE BOOK WILL TELL ME HOW TO FEEL.  Anyway.  I like Courtney Love!  She's not a perfect human being SO SHE'S GOT THAT GOING AGAINST HER.  Doesn't get a fair shake, though!  I enjoy the several Hole songs I got to know!  She does a good job in Man On The Moon: The Film!  We should be shaking her more fairly, that's all I'm saying!  MOVING ON.  KIDS, would you believe me when I tell you that once upon a day, not only were there devices that were just specifically for listening to music, but that WHEN YOU SHOOK THEM VIOLENTLY they produced A New Song?  We just carried around a little thing attached to earbuds, and then if you shook it up A NEW RANDOM SONG STARTED PLAYING.  Is there anything else like that in the modern day?  I dunno if kids these days Shake Anything For Results!
    Ugh.  I don't like it!  I DO LIKE that the Entry Moves On!  Apparently Kurt Cobain wore platform shoes at least at some point in his life!  At least during shows!  If he can do it, I can do it!  Can't call me lame!  Is Kurt Cobain lame?  NO HE'S COOL.  Also if I'm wearing Height Shoes I'm as tall as Michael J Fox in Back To The Future and everyone knows That's The Greatest Hero Of All Time.  Hmm.  Black To The Future.  How come Wayans Bros never made that movie.  Possibly because the pun hasn't occurred to them yet.  OR possibly because they couldn't secure the rights.  Either way I dunno!  What else is going on.  Gotta be something going on!  There's Got To Be A Way In Brothers.  Hey there's gonna be a boxing match but first there's a Weigh In Brothers.  Would you like some Whey In... Your Bowl... Brothers... I'M SORRY.  Am I, though.  If I was really sorry I'd delete all that and start over!  I guess I'm not sorry enough.  But I'm sorry a little bit!  HALFWAY through the entry!
   Great.  I have to write the entire amount I just wrote again.  What The Hell.  All I did was Call People Assholes and make bad puns.  Not sure how sustainable that is as a Creative Business Premise.  Maybe I go see a movie this weekend!  What's the best day to see a film.  Probably not Sunday.  Might be Friday!  But it might also be Saturday.  I'm glad we had this discussion.  Hmm.  I think Friday is probably the best but I like having the first day of my three day weekend for Just Decompression!  BUT I DUNNO.  Let's see.  Maybe I should work on some music this weekend.  Take it one step at a time!  Waht's step one.  Play the guitar.  That's a good place to start!  Kurt Cobain tuned his guitar down half One Step At A Time.  IT'S MUSIC HUMOUR you wouldn't get it.  I ain't gonna explain it to you.  You're probably a grown ass person you gotta learn to make it in this world on your own!  And if you're a child then you REALLY gotta learn to make it in this world on your own, you sorry little orphanesque mofo!  Figure out what things mean on your own time.
    This is MY TIME.  We're gonna talk about things I WANNA talk about.  OkeyDokey what's on my mind.  WAYANS BROTHERS.  When I was a kid the Don't Be A Menace movie was probably the most inappropriate movie that I saw repeatedly!  It taught me how to identify with African American culture!  Lots of laughs in that one.  And now I've got literally as many black friends as I have white friends so I must be doing something right!  Where there's a will there's a Wayans.  Gotta imagine that's been said before!  Ideally if someone named WILL was involved or something.  The Black Experience isn't all fun and games, though.  I get it!  ANYWAY.  What was so inappropriate about Don't Be A Menace in hindsight?  Probably the N word.  I remember it registering as if it was X RATED almost.  Probably, now that I think about it, because of the N word.  That makes sense!  There wasn't that much nudity or extreme violence or anything.  The N word just made the film pornographic to Eight Year Old Me.  Sounds about right.  Not the kinda porn I GOT OFF on.  Just in the sense that I was like I'm not sure I should be seeing this But Okay...
    HMM.  Really makes ya think!  Three more paragraphs to go!  Maybe I just felt a little Not At Home seeing a culture and people that was foreign to me!  Before that film I wasn't seeing much TV Or Film Meant For Black People Possibly!  I dunno.  Hmm.  Kamala Harris is Black and Indian!  Does that make her BLINDIAN or INDIACK.  Really up to her to choose.  Possible she's just a unique individual like the rest of us.  I dunno.  Either she should choose or someone's gonna make that choice for her!  I SUGGEST INDIACK.  Although Blindian is not without its charms!  Ugh.  Anyway.  She gets to be Her Own Person!  And when Kamala gets to be her own person, WE ALL get to be Our Own Person!  Everybody wins in that scenario.  What if I WANT to be reduced my race.  Hmm.  I guess that's still allowed if I'm the one putting that out there!  I don't see THE HARM.  I DON'T, though.  My race is okay but WHO NEEDS IT.  I guess.  I don't want to be reduced to my race I WANT MY RACE TO BE REDUCED TO ME.  No I don't want that either.  But it sounded clever at first!  I'd like to be that one day!
   Penultiamte paragraph!  Whew!  Getting close to the end!  You know what that means!  NO MORE THIS.  HOLY SHIT WHAT A BLESSING.  Anyway.  Let's see.  I bet there's a lot of people in America the last month who are like Dang I wish I was multi-racial.  Kinda feels like we're missing out!  I'm Multi-Plenty.  IN MANY WAYS My Father and Mother ARE DIFFERENT. Off the top of my head Gendered.  But PLENTY OF WAYS have I gotten different stuff from my Father as from My Mother both Nature and Nurture wise!  It's Great!  Variety Is The Spice Of Life!  Then again it might confuse Kamala in high pressure, split-decision situations.  HMM what would I do if I were BLACK right now as opposed to if I were INDIAN.  I ASSUME that's what might go on in her head.  YEP.  NAILED IT.  Sorry.  Hmm.  I assume Kamala relies on her intelligence as opposed to her demographics to make decisions!  But you know what happens when you assume!
   Last paragraph.  I ALMOST DID IT.  Guess I'll enjoy the rest of my night.  I see it unfolding pretty much in my favor!  Just watch TV, how hard is that!  It's not GOOD but at the same time it... uh... the entry wasn't good, either!  We're used to badness!  So what's the problem!  Tomorrow I'll write better and whatknot I promise don't worry the future is bright.  Won't talk shit about people.  And if I do I'll make it clear I'm The Real Shitter in the equation.  Jeez, next week we're into September.  SHIT'S GETTING REAL.  CALENDARWISE.  I dunno.  OASISWISE I'd say Wonderwalz as a pun but I already saw someone say it on Threads.  I definitely would have got there myself, but, oh well, what can ya do!  Hmm.  Feels like there might be a Novelty Song or two released by a big ol band about the upcoming election encouraging people to get active and/or vote!  Wonder which band might do that!  People like MUSIC.  What if I were to tell you All New Songs Are Relevant To Current SocioEconomic Conditions. I'd call you a dirty liar that's what.  Anyway.  That's it!  I'll see ya tomorrow!

-5:41 P.M.     
   
                 
   

Monday, August 26, 2024

Would You Listen To Yourself

    Hey, friends.  WHAT THE FUCK.  I have to write Ten Paragraphs!  No one else in the universe has to do as much as I do!  I've got the hardest job in the world!  Ah well let's get started.  Read a lot of Nirvana Book this weekend.  I'm finally starting to like Kurt Cobain!  Still kind of a douche bag but I kind of Get It At Least.  However, I'm starting to like Nirvana music LESS.  I put on the Nirvana and I wonder why does anyone like this.  Probably because of my Earstereos.  I THINK it's still pretty good but there's something Imperfect about it!  Makes listening to it Just Kinda Not That Great!  Certainly not The Best Band Ever.  Possibly The Worst Band Ever!  When you think about it, Of best bands They Might Be THE WORST.  I sound like a jerkoff dickface saying that.  But it accurately reflects how I feel This Week so there ya go!  I dunno.  Then there's MY MUSIC.  WHAT OF THAT.  Been listening to that this weekend too. I think it's pretty good, too.  How come no one wrote a book about me!  Because I haven't granted anyone background interviews.  OH GREAT BLAME ME IT'S ALWAYS MY FAULT.  
    Huh.  Enjoyed Kamala Harris's speech on Thursday!  I think!  That was several days ago at this point.  Seems like I remember it being a good time.  I definitely remember being impressed.  But NOW I can't remember it right off the top of my head.  That's on me, though!  I have a terrible memory!  I blame the internet and television!  Could be my own fault, SURE, but it's much more likely it's Everyone Else's Fault!  Mass media WANTS US to have terrible memories.  So we are always only living in the present moment.  That way we're more ACTIVE and ENGAGED.  So we click on links and whatknot.  If we're clicking on links we're doing our jobs as citizens!  Sounds about right.  Shouldn't be TOO active or engaged.  We don't need to start producing OUR OWN content!  Hmm.  Is this content.  SO FAR NO.  I haven't said A THING yet.  What about The Literal Thing I'm Saying Right Now.  I'm only saying that The Man is happy when we're all living Moment To Moment, engaged to a small degree, but not too much, and nothing ever really happens!  OH OKAY VERY GOOD.
    What else.  I like The Man.  He seems to have a firm grip on power!  Hook me up with some of that!  What do I need power for.  Might want to use it as part of my future Television Show or Movie's Soundtrack.  By which I mean Kanye West -- Power.  Pretty good song to use at some point as part of My TV or Movie.  I'd need Kanye's permission first, and I probably wouldn't get that!  We're not friends!  Kanye West -- Stronger.  That'd work, too!  I FORGET why We Don't Like Kanye!  He says a lot of crazy offensive things.  Oh.  WHY.  That's just the way the cookie crumbles.  Some people are dicks!  Probably pretty happy with himself Being A Dick!  Just like I'm happy with myself Being A.. hmm... what am I.  Not a dick.  NOT A PUSSY.  Testicle.  Sure.  Why not.  I'm a Testicle.  What does that mean?  We'll find out LATER.  For now I'm just gonna SAY THE THING.  I don't need to know what it means AS I SAY IT.  Whatever.  It's just like an Icicle made out of a Test.  Oh perfect then.  That's me, right on.  What was I saying. THE MAN. What happens when you Get Power.  Do you become One with The Man?  Or do you just become A Lucky Jerk Off With Power Who Is Sometimes On The Same Level As The Man?  Guess it depends on The Jerk Off.
   OH HEY FORGOT TO TELL YOU My Sketch Class Was Cancelled.  Was scheduled for Saturday!  INSTEAD it Just Never Will Occur!  I'm either gonna take an Online Writing For Late Night Class that'd start in a couple of weeks or wait to see if this new TV Writing Class ever materializes!  GREAT.  Don't like how none of those ideas involve me Being Around People In Real Life.  AH WELL.  What else is up.  Fourth paragraph!  What else is going on.  I lost track of my rhythm!  I got busy talking about Kanye West and not wanting to offend him or his fans in case he or they read this!  ALSO don't wanna offend people who are offended by Kanye West!  I need to make sure I AM INOFFENSIVE ALL AROUND.  It's important!  Maybe I wanna be offensive.  That might be the thing to do.  Not sure that's accurate.  Didn't really work for Kanye!  Works for some people, though!  Republicans and Rightwing Figures In Media.  Don Rickles.  Sports Teams.  Being offensive is gonna pay off for a lot of people but that still doesn't make it right.  I'm sure I say offensive things all the time.  But I just assume everyone's on my side so it doesn't register as being offensive!  That IN ITSELF is offensive!  SORRY ABOUT THAT.
    Amazing.  Still kinda feels like I'm Being Defensive most of the time!  The best defense is a good offense??  I dunno!  That's not a good strategy for lawyers.  YOU SEE MY CLIENT COULDN'T BE GUILTY OF MURDER, BECAUSE THE VICTIM ACTUALLY IN FACT IS THE GUILTY ONE THEMSELVES!  Guess it might work the first time you try it.  People wouldn't be used to that kind of Offense-as-Defense at first so they might buy into it based on the novelty of the argument!  Anyway.  I dunno!  Might be buying New Marijuana this weekend!  Very exciting!  New strain!  It'll be a new brand of High!  Slightly different than what I'm used to!  LIFE will be slightly different than what I'm used to!  COULD BE BETTER.  Won't be WORSE.  I'll make the best of it whatever it is!  Amazing.  I DON'T LIKE what I've talked about in this entry so far.  I'm gonna blame Kanye West but in this case it's My Fault not Literally His!  He didn't ask for me to waste my time talking about him!  And if he did I didn't NEED to psychically hear his pleas and grant them!  He wrote music for me to listen to.  That's Psychic Pleas for me to talk about him If I Ever Heard One!  
   Halfway through the entry.  He may not have known I would ever listen to his music, I DON'T KNOW!  I don't know what goes on in people's heads!  Anyway.  Nothing in The Nirvana Book about Kurt Cobain writing his songs For Future Me To Listen To.  Doesn't mean that wasn't the case!  Just means that wasn't the narrative the author wanted to tell!  Really can't say at this point WHAT Kurt Cobain was writing about!  Anyway.  Songs are there for us to connect with!  We should try to identify with them to the greatest extent possible!  What if the greatest extent possible is TOO MUCH.  Hmm.  Then we might be in a bit of a quandary.  Anyway.  Who cares!  Just listen to good music.  Maybe it means a lot to you, maybe it doesn't!  That's not YOUR problem, IS IT?  Whose problem would it be.  Ugh.  I DON'T CARE.  That Kamala Harris speech on Thursday was like Music.  I remember DIGGING it!  I even remember GROOVING to it.  This person better be president for the next four years because they're wonderful and also because the alternative would be horrible!  That sums that up!
   Seventh paragraph.  What if someone disagrees with me.  Then good for them and they're wrong.  What if I disagree with me.  I don't.  Everything I said I agree with!  I thought there was gonna be a Beyonce Concert though.  If this is how the Democrats govern I'm not impressed! Getting us hyped for Beyonce and then not delivering Beyonce?  NOT A GOOD LOOK.  Can't blame that on Democrats persay.  Gotta blame it on SOMEBODY.  Jesus.  He takes responsibility for all of our sins per my understanding or something.  Thus it's HIS FAULT we had no Beyonce last week!  I KNEW I WAS JEWISH FOR A REASON.  This, and to spite Kanye West!  I dunno if he takes responsibility for all our sins.  I know he died for our sins.  But at the same time We STILL Gotta Take Responsibility For Them Too, right?  There's no part of the New Testament that says Jesus died for your sins, so basically, go crazy and do whatever you want, right, what's the harm?  Hmm.  Jesus Died For Our Sinuses.  That's a good one!  Gotta remember that one for some reason.
    Three paragraphs to go.  I don't like it!  Hmm.  What else is going on.  Am I gonna enjoy the rest of my day after this entry at all?  I don't have Much Day Left!  I started this entry late for some reason.  All I got is a little bit of TV watching and some Dinner.  Smoke some weed and go to sleep!  Ugh!  Maybe I can go to sleep LATER.  That way I appreciate The Nighttime more! We'll see I guess.  I guess I think it's safe to say Kanye West knew SOMEONE LIKE ME would listen to his music.  Me Exactly?  I Can't Say!  But A GUY SIMILAR TO ME, sure, that could have been foreseen!  That doesn't make me his target audience or anything.  Could just be a supplementary ancillary audience!  But he still made music knowing I might enjoy it one day!  So just based on that, gotta give him some credit!  He also has given statements conveying hate for Jewish People.  Gotta take away credit.  You can't TAKE AWAY credit!  How would that even work!  You can give credit and give demerits but they don't just cancel each other out neatly!  Oh okay that's good.
    Penulgimate paragraph.  I don't like it!  What a shitty entry.  That's life!  Hmm.  Wonder what Nirvana shows sounded like early on.  I guess we'll never know!  There are probably some recordings out there of early Nirvana shows.  Guess I can look that up later on tonight!  Sounds reasonable.  Also even if there aren't There Are People Alive Who Experienced Them.  So We Will Know. I dunno, can we really TRUST People?  Sure, why not!  Hmm.  CAN WE TRUST PEOPLE??  Let's start with Myselves.  Can I Trust ME.  I'm the most immediate person to myself!  Sure.  I can trust in myself about 80, 85% of the way.  Okay.  That's a start!  Let's work forward from there!  Can I trust in other people.  What, you mean like Kanye?  Hmm.  I WISH I hadn't started there.  But, okay, can I trust in Kanye?  Well, to make music?  Or to be a decent human being.  Same Difference!  No it isn't.  DANGIT.  I WISH Making Good Music made you a decent human being.  It adds to the human experience a lot!  REALLY SEEMS like it should count heavily towards Making You A Decent Human Being!  It's only fair!
   Last paragraph I guess.  Hmm.  What if I started thinking Better & Funnier Things.  Then the entries would start getting better.  That's something I should ponder.  Anyway.  Let's close this mother up.  I guess I'll just have to Not use Kanye songs in any TV or Film project I ever make!  SURE Gold Digger would be a fun song to use in this One Specific Episode of This Crappy TV Show I'm Thinking Of but I'm not sure I wanna have to deal with this person at all!  Anyway.  HEY I just realized-- Just because Today's Entry Sucked doesn't mean OTHER FUTURE entries will suck, or OTEHR PARTS OF YOUR LIFE will continue to suck!  WHEW.  I THOUGHT THIS WAS IT.  This is just a brief transitory moment in our lives!  Really means very little!  Your life gonna pick up speed as soon as you stop paying attention to me right soon!  PLUS next time you start paying attention to me again I JUST MIGHT Be Funny And Clever And Entertaining Again! It's a crapshoot!  Hmm.  Anyway.  That's it for today.  See ya later.

-6:48 P.M. 

Thursday, August 22, 2024

If Only I Thought Better Things

    Hi!  Entry Time!  How the Hell am I gonna come up with anything to say!  It's literally impossible!  Well then I guess it's up to me to Figuratively Come Up With Some Things.  Okay.  Let's Go!  Tonight is the last night of the Democratic National DNC Convention.  I hope Kamala isn't speaking too late.  Probably gonna stay up as late as it takes to see it, though!  This may be her first biggest speech of all time thus far!  No Pressure!  Just Do Good.  Actually, do GREAT.  How hard is that.  Easy.  Have the right words in front of you.  Say them the right way.  Make sure Everyone Up To And Including Me takes them in properly.  Actually you don't wanna worry about Me taking in the speech the right way.  I'll be fine!  Worry about the rest of the population of America.  What about International Watchers.  They're also important, too!  I'm good at advice is the point.  I Tell People To Do Their Jobs Well.  If ya don't know, now ya know!  What Else Am I Good For.  I dunno.  No one ever explicitly suggested to me that I do MY JOB well.  Maybe that's to account for My Lack Of Success. If Only I Had A Me In My Corner I'd be knocking life out of the park!  Anyway.  Just the conversational equivalent of a Thumbs Up.  That's the best I can offer to the world!
   Anyway.  That's one paragraph down.  Hmm.  Tina Fey SMILES too much as Liz Lemon.  They're all acting, doing their thing, in the show, but she's GRINNING at the camera like she knows she's in a comedy show making jokes.  Unless there's something wrong with my TV.  Could be my TV is malfunctioning!  Making actors faces Grin At Me 50% more than originally shot.  But She IS in a comedy show making jokes.  That's LITERALLY the plot of 30 Rock.  Yeah but the way she's Hamming It Up for the camera it's like she knows she's in The Outer Show That I'M Watching!  Which SHE BETTER NOT KNOW!  Whatever.  Let's See.  What other shows shouldn't the main characters know they're in.  ALL OF THEM.  Stop breaking the fourth wall!  Why does this keep happening!  On the other hand Kamala Harris CAN AND SHOULD be aware of the camera while she's giving her speech tonight though.  She should know EXACTLY what she's doing up there on the stage.  But that's because THIS IS REALITY MORE OR LESS.  Accepting the Democratic Nomination for Candidate For President.  GET INTO IT!  Or appear detached if that's the angle you wanna take!  Maybe you want to have a COOL, CASUAL distance from the weight of what's happening.  That could work too I suppose!
   Ugh.  What's all this talk of The Fourth Wall.  You DO KNOW this wall you speak of DOES NOT EXIST.  If it did I wouldn't be able to watch Any Of These Shows I've been watching my entire life.  I'd have been looking at a wall this entire time Which Is Not Entertaining!  You could have a wall made of clear glass.  Huh.  Tim Walz.  Breaking The Fourth Walz.  Anything there?  No, I wouldn't think so.  Has anyone ever broken THE FIFTH Wall?  Off the top of my head it could easily happen given an appropriate plot of a film or TV Show.  A film that's about Real World Themes To The Max-- certainly possible they can break The Fifth Or Sixth Walls in that movie!  Probably should try to avoid it.  Anyway if we live in cubes AS WE DO we can have up to six Physical World Walls!  Then if we start thinking four or more dimensionally we can have even more.  We Live In Cubes?  You know what I mean!  You can build Six Walls around yourself.  Lock yourself in a cube!  I don't think I'm saying anything that controversial or anything!
    Fourth paragraph!  Kamala trying to break The Glass Ceiling!  That's More Or Less what I was imagining when I talked about Breaking The Fifth Wall!  So there ya go!  Anyway.  KH.  Those are the initials to Kamala Harris!  Kind of underwhelming!  Middle name appears to be Devi.  KDH.  Not much better!  Hmm.  What can we do to address this negative story.  How attached is Kamala Harris to her first and/or last names?  Maybe if we started spelling, "Kamala," with a, "C?"  CH is an interesting Initials!  I don't immediately LOVE it but I am intrigued by it!  No one's changing their names.  I should just transfer my feelings of interest for, "CH," to, "KH."  They're pretty close!  Okay!  EVERYTHING I felt for CH I NOW FEEL for KH.  JOIN ME WON'T YOU.  I don't know what any of that means.  But it feels like it means a lot!  So that's good!  Yes We KHAANNNNNNNNN!  Star Trek.  Anyway.  A lot of people don't remember that John McCain's campaign slogan was No You Can't.  Seemed pretty out there at the time!  Ended up working against him!  Ugh.
   Alright.  He may have never said the words but that was the moral of the story!  WE GOT THE PICTURE.  Anyway.  Harris hasn't really used a campaign slogan yet, has she?  Nothing really Monumental.  Oh.  We Won't Go Back.  That's one!  When We Fight We Win.  There's another one!  I think it's time to bust out a new one though.  Should debut a new slogan tonight that REALLY gets the crowd going.  Hmm.  What do I got.  "Vote For Me.  PLEASE."  That's just off the top of my head.  It conveys that what she wants is to win the election by getting people to vote for her.  But she's polite about it!  Also it's in contrast to Trump's message of You Don't Need To Vote For Me Because We're Going To Try To Win By Cheating.   I won't sit idly by and watch the election get stolen!  They should know America won't stand for it.  Won't sit for it.  Won't stand for it.  Won't lay for it.  Not gonna go for it with our bodies in any position.  So that's good.  Anyway.  Campaign Slogans.  Kamala almost rhymes with M Night Shyamalan.  Could we work that into the campaign messaging somehow?  Kamala '24  What's The Problem.  Is that any good.
    Halfway through!  Whatever.  Guess the entry goes on!  I don't understand why the news and the people running phrase the race like Trump is in the lead but the Democrats still have a shot.  I don't even like it being phrased like it's a 50/50 race as of now!  Harris is clearly ahead in the polls!  Very consistently!  Nationally and in swing states!  Yet over and over it's phrased in a way that pumps Trumps up!  Maybe they do it strategically and by phrasing it this way they get more donations or volunteers or Just Support.  I dunno!  Tics me off, thuogh.  NOW if you wanna say Trump has a bonus advantage because He's Going to Cheat And That Might Help Him Win, okay, but you should have to explicitly say that's the logic you're using each time you make that argument!  Anyway.  Kamala is in the lead in the polls and in fundraising and in momentum!  It seems counterintuitive to me to suggest otherwise!  But what do I know!  I'm the guy who doesn't understand why actors smile while they make jokes in sitcoms.  IT'S NOT A JOKE THOUGH.  To the character they're playing it's just Dialogue They're Saying.  Quit smiling THIS IS YOUR LIFE IT'S NOT A COMEDY!
   Anyway.  Four more paragraphs to go!  Kamala might Just Be Okay tonight.  I say she'll be pretty inspiring!  Maybe not The Most!  But definitely Quite Inspiring!  Good.  Kamala Harris is what happens when Good People Step Up.  Sometimes there's VACANCIES in the world!  You can either fill them with Kamala Harrises or Donald Trumps!  What the Hell.  Did I just come up with that one myself.  There's a band in School Of Rock called No Vacancy.  They'd like to have a word with me on my theory about There Sometimes Being Vacancies!  Anyway.  Still haven't forgotten about how It's Legal For Presidents To Commit Crimes now.  Can Kamala speak to that sometimes on the campaign trail?  Can that be something she runs on?  Fixing that?  That's one man's opinion!  Probably would be a pretty popular position, too!  So that's good.  Looks like it's Kamala and Doug's 10th anniversary today!  Wow!  That's the MAHOGANY anniversary!  If Doug plays a pivotal role in getting Kamala elected he can say I GOT YOU AMERICA FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT.  I don't like that!  If anything AMERICA GOT HER.    
    Eighth paragraph.  Whatever.  Also the election is long after their anniversary.  It's just A REGULAR gift at this point!  Also KAMALA WINS IN THE FUTURE ON HER OWN.  We all chip in but she's the Primary Actor!  So that's good.  What else is good.  Only three more dumb paragraphs to write.  Then I got MY ENTIRE LIFE ahead of me!  A lot of which will be stupid.  Damnit!  I was counting on my life being Good From This Point Forward!  NOT THE CASE.  A lot of it might be good but a lot of it still will be a chore!  I DON'T LIKE IT.  Will Kamala Harris Address My Upcoming Life in her speech tonight?  I wanna know what her plans are For Making My Life A Better Life For Me And Everyone Around Me!  Probably will just leave me to my own devices.  That seems to be the prudent way to go.  Not sure it's in my best interests but it's the obvious move to make.  Leaving Someone To Their Own Devices has taken a different meaning in the modern era!  What with CELL PHONES and I-PADS and MP3 PLAYERS.  Totally different premise to that phrase Now-a-days!
   Penultimate paragraph!  The President SHOULD be some sort of Social Worker for all 300 million of us.  WE EACH get sixty seconds of her time over the course of the next four years.  She helps us all individually with our problems one way or another!  Don't think there's enough time in the calendar for that.  Otherwise I'm sure She'd Be Down.  Ah well.  YES I'm going to be doing some laundry tomorrow.  The time has come to clean some shirts!  Gonna bathe myself.  Time has come to cleanse myself!  Shave.  This hair on my face has NO BUSINESS being there!  Michael's gonna take care of some business!  Eh.  Let's just finish this entry.  The time has come for me to ENJOY my three day weekend.  I shouldn't be proud of This Week Of Entries.  They weren't the worst thing that ever happened!  Should have been better.  If I enjoy my weekend despite Doing Bad During The Week WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS THAT SENDING.  No message.  My life isn't about sending a message.  It's about Just Living The Thing.  No Message!  Just Live The Damn Life!
    Last paragraph!  I guess!  Wonderful.  Gonna take a walk when this is over.  I'll enjoy that!  I really hope they don't cancel my Sketch Class because it's not filled up.  Cause I'm looking forward to that piece of shit!  Whatever.  I'll read some Kurt Cobainness.  I hope I get more On His Side as the book progresses.  As of now I don't really like him!  Didn't anticipate that!  I feel I'll probably start Being With Kurt pretty soon.  The worst of Kurt is already over!  It's all good stuff from here!  What about when he kills himself.  NO SPOILERS PLEASE I haven't read the book yet!  Anyway.  Why didn't he choose to make music that was 2-5% Better.  Obviously he was an extremely gifted artist.  SO WHY not just make each song and album SLIGHTLY better?  Seems kinda suspect!  He was holding back and I wanna know why!  Not sure what my point is with that.  Probably nothing!  Huh.  I guess I'm done for today.  I'll see ya later!

-5:42 P.M.                               
            
     

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

This Is The Title Of An Unserious Person

    Hey!  Gotta write an entry now.  There is a 40% chance it will be good!  Sketch Class is closing in this weekend!  I never really imagined this until just now, but it's possible I exit the class Having A Decent Sketch Or Two under my belt!  There might be several sketches I've written That Are Just Plain Good!  Flat out Not Bad.  There's eight class sessions!  And probably homework assignments!  Between all that I'm BOUND to write some decent sketch at some point!  What if I had to write a sketch right now.  What would it be about.  Setting.  It takes place at a coffee shop.  In the future.  In the morning.  I'm laughing already.  Who are the characters.  MALE in his 20's.  FEMALE in her 20's.  Hilarious.  Dialogue?  ENGLISH.  They both talk in English.  Hahaha.  What's the Game.  Oh we're really doing this then?  There's actually gonna be something funny?  Hmm.  Maybe one of them has some sort of Problem With Something.  I don't like that!  Either they should both have problems or neither of them.  I don't like this One Of Them Has A Problem With Something stuff!  Luckily this sketch isn't due for a while!
    Okay.  How am I supposed to write for characters in their 20's.  I'm 35 years old.  I identify with younger people though because My Real Age is 2.  I don't live the life of someone with 35 years under their belt!  I live the life of someone with 2 years under their belt!  ACCURATE.  Guess I could get a job writing for Rugrats then.  Do they still make that?  Of course not.  There's no way Rugrats has kept pace with The Simpsons since I was a little one.  Hmm.  Rugrats was the Nickelodeon cartoon about babies.  If babies could talk they might say, "I Feel Seen," upon seeing that show.  Might have been the first show of all time centered around one and two year olds.  Pretty nice to have equal representation on the TV screen!  Anyway.  What does a baby order from Chinese Food Restaurant?  Moo Goo Gai Pan.  Is that a joke.  It's something!  Not sure what it is!  Those are syllables a baby might say in real life.  No Baby's First Words are General Tso's Chicken.  Well eventually ONE baby's first words will be.  But it's a 1,000 monkeys at 1,000 type writers writing Shakespeare scenario.
    I've been told one of my first words if not THE first word was Arbys.  Because my brother's name is Robert!  And it was my bastardized way of saying his name!  BUT it's funny to think I was referencing Arby's: The Fast Food Chain.  I'm not sure I've ever had Arby's: The Fast Food Chain.  Seems pretty shitty!  Are they the ones with the crappy commercials?  My word was probably, "Arby."  No, "S."  So it's a little bit less Relevant.  Ah well!  I'm sure I started using conjunctions pretty much immediately once I started saying words.  That's what I would do NOW if I could Do It All Over Again!  Anyway.  Oh No I have to pick a train on Saturday To Class that either gets me there Just In Time or gets me there An Hour Early.  Well in that context Just In Time sounds perfect.  But THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER is that Just In Time MIGHT NOT BE IN TIME AT ALL.  So that's something we're all gonna have to keep in mind going forward.  Anyway.  I liked my brother as a child!  And He didn't like me!  Pretty classic Younger Brother/Three Year Older Brother relationship!
    Maybe that's where I get some of my social insecurity from.  If my own BROTHER rejected me why wuold anyone else want to be my friend.  I dunno.  Lots of people don't wanna be my friend.  Pretty sure it's my own fault!  WELL Maybe if my brother did a better job RAISING ME I'd be a More Friendly Person!  Social Insecurity.  As opposed to Social Security.  Makes me laugh!  IN THEORY.  In practice it makes me wish there was more to it!  It has the BONES of being amusing but I didn't build upon the base structure!  So that's good.  Arby's.  They're the ones Who Have The Meats.  What meats.  Gonna guess Roast Beef.  That sort of stuff.  Oh ok could be worse I guess.  So far the highlight of the DNC to me is the governor of Illinois because he seemed HOW DO I PUT THIS... I LIKE THE WAY HE'S PUT TOGETHER.  There've been lots of genuinely good moments but I liked watching THAT GUY talk because it's captivating to watch him go!  Really overweight dude.  I'm a bad person!  I'll accept that!  I'm putting out negative energy into the universe consciously!  But Also Positive.  Because HE MADE ME FEEL GOOD just by being a Jolly Fat Man.  And maybe you, too!  It's OKAY. It's okay to feel that way!  Gotta take THE POSITIVE WITH THE NEGATIVE.
    Fifth paragraph!  Not sure he was Jolly.  He was upbeat for some of it!  Anyway.  They're here to work for us, politicians are!  Gain that weight!  Tell that speech!  Make me smile!  Anyway.  How many weeks we got until Election Day.  I saw the number 77 days in social media earlier.  That sounds a whole lot like 11 weeks.  I Math'd!  Hmm.  Gotta keep momentum going and if there is a drop in momentum we gotta raise the momentum ASAP.  Well what's the harm in just Skipping Momentum for a month in the middle.  If we just pick it right back up.  That would upset and demoralize people!  Don't do it!  But at the same time WHAT I gotta be Jazzed for the next 77 days constantly?  Whatever genre you want!  Feel Whatever You Can!  Live your life with a lil' PEP IN YOUR STEP while ya do whatever you can do to help Kamala and Democrats get elected!  Anyway.  WHAT CAN I DO EXACTLY.  Ask not what you can do for your country, but wha... wait, you were right the first time.  You'll figure something out!  Just do whatever comes to mind.  DO A DANCE!  Paint a picture!  Donate A Fourty Dollars!  Oh okay that last one makes sense.
   Halfway through the entry.  I dunno.  The goal isn't just to win the presidency and the senate and the house.  It's to govern effectively for the next four years.  Having a good election night is Us Just Getting Started!  That's when THE REAL work starts!  Lucky for us It's not our jobs then anymore!  Our job is to elect the right people.  Then our elected leaders are mostly stuck with The Real Work!  Jokes On Them Suckers I Guess.  It's on us to prod them in the right direction even once they're in office.  Oh.  Okay.  PEOPLE POWER.  I like People.  I AM a person!  Let's see.  Do people ever use the word Perdaughter.  Person is a gendered word!  Whatever.  Gotta write some more words now.  What's my motivation exactly.  Because I have to do this.  Yeah but existentially WHY.  Why bring Existentialism Into It.  I guess I don't need to!  Forget it!  Existentantialism is ON PAUSE for now!  WILL Bill Clinton be getting a blow job while giving his speech tonight.  I think MANY people will tune in if that's the case.  Just for the novelty of it!  Wouldn't be particularly sexy.  But people would wanna be able to tell their grandkids They Saw It Happen!
    Seventh paragraph.  I learnt about blow jobs FROM Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinski scandal!  Didn't know what they were before!  DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE AFTER.  But during, boy oh boy did I get the basic facts down straight for a year or so.  Anyway.  I feel bad Bill Clinton never gave Monica Lewinski any Romantic Props or anything.  I never got the sense during the entire thing that he cared about her one iota.  What a dick!  Just used her for sex is the impression they gave!  He never called him his Special Back-Up Bonus Lady or anything!  I guess politically that'd have been unwise.  But maybe that teaches kids the wrong lesson who are first learning about sex from this case.  Relationships, even extra-marital, SHOULD be based on FEELINGS and CARING.  I didn't get any of that!  The point I'm trying to make is The Reason I Don't Have Good Relationships With Women is probably it's all Bill Clinton's fault!  And it was a relationship, right?  Internet says she had sexual encounters with Bill nine times.  RELATIONSHIP.  I guess he was doing Right By Hillary by not aligning with Monica.  That's a vaguely decent excuse!  But that makes Everyone come out looking like shit.
   Whatever.  BILL CLINTON IS A HERO.  How so.  Hmm.  Everyone was Pretty Happy when he was president!  1990's!  I dunno how much you can attribute that to him being president but What A Time To Be Alive!  Gotta give him some props, right?  Anyway.  Is he going to bust out any saxophone tonight?  Hmm.  Saxophone?  More like Having Oral SEX while On The PHONE.  I dunno if that ever actually happened but I think that's the Popular Imagination Picture of what happened with Lewinsky.  He's on the phone in The Oval and she's under the desk.  Does that get anyone going.  Probably at least two people!  Still crazy after all these years.  Anyway.  Surely not everyone was happy in the 1990's.  NEOLIBERALISM.  Right?  Let's get into it.  Anyway.  I was a happy boy.  I had all sorts of video game consoles and I read books all night till my hearts content!  America Online.  Everyone got to enjoy that one.  Chatrooms.  Back then Random Internet People seemed like Real People as opposed to Bots.  It's hard to explain!  Maybe I was just naive about it.
   Penultimate paragraph.  Probably skip seeing a movie this weekend.  Don't particularly wanna see anything!  And I'm BUSY on Saturday doing Sketchy Things.  So that's good.  Think I'll write the rest of this entry Well.  Just do a Good Job with it!  That's my Feeling!  Anyway.  Would it be EMPOWERING if Kamala is the first woman president to have a sex scandal in office once she's elected?  I dunno!  I may not know what Empowerment means.  Anyway.  I assume Kamala will get paid exactly the same amount as Past President was paid.  So there's no 60 cents on the dollar nonsense. And IF THERE IS it'll be particularly egregious!  So that's something to look out for.  Black women are paid 69 cents to the dollar as White Men.  Hilarious!  What a number!  That's gonna go in my Journal!  What, this?  Yeah!  Anyway.  I got a bunch of hits when I googled that and each hit gives a different number.  The point is Black Women get paid A Shitton Less for the exact same job as White Men!  Hmm.  I KNOW.  Kamala can give herself a raise when she's president!  TWO BILLION dollars a year.  That would raise the National Average up several cents!  Gotta think outside the box.
    Last paragraph.  But it doesn't help anybody!  Doesn't it, though?  Hmm.  I don't think the president just sets their own salary.  That'd be dumb.  But I already made the joke.  Can't go back now!  Whatever.  Exciting!  She probably WILL do stuff to make life better for Black Women!  Addressing Income Inequality might be one of the things she's looking at, I dunno!  At least tangentially!  Possibly head on!  So that's good.  Hey!  Just read RFK is dropping out and endorsing Trump!  Does that matter?  Will it help Trump?  I don't know!  It might!  Or maybe people don't really give a shit because that dude is crazy!  Either way I find his entire saga pretty sad!  Who am I to call someone else sad.  I'M CUTE SAD.  He's EVIL SAD.  Anyway.  Was the plan all along to drop out eventually and endorse Trump?  I dunno!  Maybe he thought he had a chance to win when he first started off.  Anyway.  Entry is just about over!  Guess I got one more entry for the week tomorrow!  See how that goes.  I'll see ya later!

-5:11 P.M.         

Tuesday, August 20, 2024

I Never Thought I'd Say This

    Hi, friends!  Here we go again!  Not sure I'm in the best mindset for writing anything these days!  I'm Happy and Healthy.  I'm just not Creative at all.  Maybe Sketch Class will activate some juices flowing or something.  I have three entries to write before that starts, though!  WHAT TO DO in the meantime!  Make everyone waste their time on Boringness.  Hmm.  Lemme count backwards in my life until I think of something interesting that happened.  Just jerked off.  Before that I took a walk.  Before that I ate lunch.  Before that I was watching Breaking Bad.  WOW This is like the sequel to Memento they never made!  My favorite website for Jerking Off To got shut down or something!  NO SPOILERS but it doesn't exist anymore.  Maybe that's why my mind is faltering.  Hmm.  Probably for the best.  At some point I should get acclimated to Living Without That.  When I die and meet my dead relatives, I'm not gonna wanna be masturbating in front of them all the time!  So I really should get started abstaining NOW.  Oh So Is That How It Works.  Yep!  That's exactly how it works!  I can still have sex in Death, right?  Yeah!  Have sex with a consenting partner in front of your relatives!  That's cool!  Where do I find a consenting partner.  I assume I'm assigned one after dying!
   What if Heaven is just Everyone Jerking Off All The Time.  And the only bonus Heaven gives you is that you never tire of it and can go forever.  Just 24/7.  Everyone in their little corner doing their thing.  WELL if that's what the Lord Wants, THAT'S WHAT THE LORD GETS.  Could be worse.  I guess!  Imagine the best jerking off you've ever done.  THAT'S how good it'll be!  Imagine.  Anyway.  Sketch class isn't close to full yet!  When there's four or five slots open they start counting down on the website how many are left.  As of now it just says that there's still availabilities!  So there's PLENTY spots open.  Class is in four days.  We'll see what happens I guess!  SOMEONE should write a sketch about this!  You can write sketches about anything.  That's my governing philosophy.  A lot better than my previous original philosophy of You can't write sketches about Anything.  Hmm.  I may have four or five SEX SLOTS open.  Lemme count.  Butt.  Mouth.  Those are really the main ones.  Also they're closed for business.  Physiologically they're openings but in practice NO THANKS.   
    Can there be sex with any other holes?  Nostrils?  Nope.  Pee hole.  Nah.  Ear?  What you're telling me You've Never Gotten An Ear Job?  Sounds like something every man should experience at some point!  Can't stick it all the way in but there's certainly fun to be had!  Also for the receiver it's a weird ASMR type experience possibly!  That could be sexy!  Huh.  Just got an e-mail from my Pilot Class teacher saying he's considering putting together a new Class!  Not sure what kind of class exactly.  He's soliciting ideas!  I'd be interested in taking up a follow up class for Pilot/Sitcom Writing but I dunno as of this moment what I would prefer that class look like!  GREAT.  I guess I could either work on the thing I wrote for the first class or start a new thing! Those certainly appear to be the main two options.  What about Eye Sockets.  I can make love with someone in the eye socket if I had no regard for the well being of their eye balls.  What kind of monster do you think I am.  I'm not here to hurt people I'm here to help!  Well I'm not helping anybody!
    Okay then.  What else is up.  I don't like it!  Sex with Eye Sockets!  Dirty.  Unoriginal.  Not Funny!  NOBODY NEEDS IT.  What are ya gonna do.  Say it once and move on with my life-- hopefully we're through with it completely!  OH I got a student evaluation from my Stand Up Class Teacher.  She said Nice Things!  Hard to determine how genuine they are.  Obviously she's gonna say super nice things about everybody!  The content of what she said could easily either imply I Was Your Average Standard Comedy Class Taker OR I Am A Once In A Generation Comedic Talent With Practically Guaranteed Success Should I Decide To Ever Really Try Stand Up.  You could reach either conclusion by reading her comments!  I don't like it! I'd like to believe I Was Actually Pretty Good!  I'd rather split the difference and have her be like Actually He Was Pretty Good All Things Considered More Or Less.  But I guess that's not THE TRUTH.  Ah well.  Nice Lady anyway!  I won't hold Me Not Deserving Genuine Praise against her!  That's probably a problem On My End!  Anyway.  She said the main thing I needed to improve was my performance.  That's pretty true!  Just in relation to each other, the Writing is a lot ahead of the Performance aspect!  Let's move on!
    Fifth paragraph!  Hmm.  Getting food from Italian Restaurant tonight.  Is there anything I can get that's not cheesy.  Just don't feel like anything with Cheese!  Wha.  Hmm.  Buffalo wings don't have cheese.  Still don't want 'em!  Certain pasta dishes.  Nope don't want that either.  THERE MUST BE SOMETING in all of Italia that would satisfy my cravings for tonight!  Maybe some sort of Hero.  Could be!  That might be the answer!  YES!  I'll think about what kind of hero In My Mind while I write the rest of the entry.  It's SOMEWHAT possible I am able to multi-task!  I don't have any remembrance of doing it in the past but I know OTHER PEOPLE can hold 2+ thoughts at once so WHY NOT ME.  Potato & Egg.  That's just stupid enough it just might work!  Whatever.  Potato & Egg sounds like the worst Cartoon or Super Hero Duo I've ever seen.  What shenanigans are Potato and Egg gonna get into this time!  I dunno but I can't wait to not find out!  I wonder if this entry will pick up steam in the second half.  My feeling is things will deteriorate to the point that you question if life is worth living.
    Yeah!  Should I see, "The Crow," this weekend?  I dunno!  Will I see, "The Crow," this weekend?  I don't know!  Well that's all I got on, "The Crow," for now!  I'll keep you updated on this situation as it progresses!  Anyway.  If I was gonna be on one of those Zoom Calls supporting Kamala Harris that specified my demographics, WHAT would that be?  That's a tough one!  I consider myself one of a kind because I'm full of myself usually.  Okay perfect One Of A Kind People For Harris let's set it up.  Which celebrities would be good hosts or participants for One Of A Kind People.  Hmm.  I'm not good at JOKES persay.  This sort of Making A List AIN'T MY WHEELHOUSE.  Let's see if I can come up with ANYTHING At All.  What if we got Kamala Harris to speak!  She's not one of a kind.  She's just like all those others like her.  What others.  You know.  Ambitious Black/Minority Women Who Are Smart And Successful.  That's not one of a kind but she might be Uniquely Up At The Top Of The List!  Is that a RACE slur or a SEXIST slur.  Pointing out that She's Ambitious.  If She Were A White Man I wouldn't go out of my way to identify her as Ambitious.  Maybe I would.  I think I might.  Also Sexist.
    Seventh paragraph!  It's important to narrow down Who She Is by WHAT SHE DOES not just how she appears.  Who Work In GOVERNMENT.  Who work in The LAW.  Who work it REAL GOOD.  Oh hey I know a good Zoom Call for me to participate in.  Unemployed Losers For Harris.  I can't donate money but I can donate a coupon for One Free Back Rub.  Yes it's transferable!  But destroying it is against the law.  I don't make the rules!  Anyway.  FRANK ZAPPA.  He's one of a kind!  He'll be on my One Of A Kinds For Harris zoom call!  I guess.  He's most likely dead.  But we can get Ahmet Zappa I guess in his stead!  Anyway.  If I was a black woman why would even 5-10% of me vote for Trump!  NOT BEING a Black Woman exactly I can't answer that question.  But seems to me they should all vote for Kamala!  I do identify with black women, though.  We are both overlooked by mainstream society!  THEY because of a dastardly combo of racism and sexism.  ME because I'm Crazy.  We're not so different you and I!
    Eighth paragraph.  Really makes ya think.  What else is up.  I can upgrade to garlic bread with my Hero?  Now we're talking!  They don't say it but it's even possible that garlic bread is toasted!  Delicious!  Closing in on halfway through Breaking Bad.  Maybe I should watch Better Call Saul when this is over.  I ain't never watched That Bullshit at all before!  I guess there's a first time for everything.  Lots of stuff Never Happens At All.  BUT do things that never happened even once count towards, "Everything?"  I dunno!  I'd like to write the next 2.5 paragraphs now.  Yeah I think we're all on the same page there.  OK good.  Cause I was just sitting there for like 90 seconds.  Nothin' was happening!  I Thought I Forgot About Me!  Got a Micro-Therapy appointment tomorrow morning.  Five or ten minutes!  Should I talk about anything Real.  Or just answer some Yes or No questions and Be On My Merry Way.  Hmm.  Think I'll just Do The Nothing.  Show up for the appointment and put nothing into it and get nothing out of it.  That's my move for therapy appointment 95% of the time!       
    Penultimate paragraph.  Wonderful!  I give this entry A SOLID 2/10.  That doesn't make me feel good.  I get bonus points for being honest with myself though!  That'll get me places!  If I just always put My Honest Self Deprecating Foot Forward EVERYONE WILL LOVE ME.  Hasn't worked so far but I've got a good feeling it'll start paying off in the latter half of my life!  Anyway.  Lots of stuff going on in the news I DON'T LIKE.  Sometimes I see a story and I'm like I SHOULD PUT A SPOTLIGHT ON THAT.  For example Trump talking to Netanyahu telling him not to accept a Cease Fire proposal.  So that the war continues and Biden/Harris look bad.  Besides prolonging a horrible war, that's clearly against the law!  Doing American Foreign Policy while not an elected official!  And the magnitude of the issue makes it particularly egregious such that it makes the website!  I DON'T LIKE IT.  What was another thing that I thought I wanted to highlight.  THAT ONE'S GOOD.  Think about that one for a while and then when you're done with that one I'll give ya another!
    Last paragraph.  People check the website for Not News.  If anything, bringing up News here might make readers LESS LIKELY to care about it.  You might go out of your way to Not Give A Crap about something you read here!  I dunno!  I should think about things more strategically!  Hmm can't I just Hopesume Everything I Do Usually Works Out For The Best?  I guess!  So far I'm still ALIVE so that's a good piece of evidence I've Been Living Right.  Haven't KILLED myself.  Haven't even broke any bones or third degree burns or anything!  I'm practically completely unscathed from My Creative Lifestyle This Entire Time!  So that's good!  Anyway.  FAIR WARNING Wednesday and Thursday are gonna be only marginally better than today!  I've more or less given up on this week!  I'm hoping Sketch Class makes me Funnier And Smarter Immediately and next week I start writing better entries, though!  So that's great.  I guess that's it!  Have a good one!  You can stop Thinking Of This Website.... Now!

-4:50 P.M.     

Monday, August 19, 2024

I Start At Zero.  Do I Hear Zero Dollars?

    Hey!  What's up!  How was everyone's weekend?  Probably was You-centric.  Weird way to live.  I spend my life revolving around Me!  Can't imagine why anyone would do otherwise!  Anyway I accomplished a whole lot.  I ate and smoked some marijuana!  I watched the new Alien movie!  No Not just any movie About An Alien.  A movie in the, "Alien," Franchise!  I started the Kurt Cobain book.  I guess that's about it.  Took a long time for it to happen.  Three day weekend really made its impression felt on me!  I'm not any wiser or stronger based on what I went through.  If anything I'm a Worse Person Now!  But there ya go.  Kurt Cobain was kind of a dick as a kid.  Straight up asshole, really!  Now I don't know whom to idolize in life!  Sure I do.  Stick with Everyone Else I was Idolizing.  Just don't idolize Kurt Cobain for his Humanity that much anymore.  WHAT?  AS A CHILD HE WASN'T A FULL GROWN MAN?  NO THANK YOU THEN.  I don't think Everybody needs to Grow Into being good people.  Cobain did!  I DID.  I sucked when I was younger, too!  Maybe I still do.  Oh No!
   Makes me wanna pick up the guitar.  Kurt Cobain was inseparable from his guitar when he was a mid to late teenager So The Book Goes!  Hey, me too!  But now I am the antonym of inseparable from my guitar at 35!  I got very little to do with it these days!  IF ONLY I was 17 years old again!  Is there any way we can accomplish that.  Time Travel?  Build an imaginary friend in my head whose Me At 17?  Live the exact life of a 17 year old and maybe that tricks me into Doing Guitar Like A Seventeen Year Old?  NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.  If I could get my old high school to admit me and I could just pretend I'm a student there then SURE THAT'D WORK I'd be writing new songs in no time!  But they wouldn't go for that!  I don't have that kind of power or influence!  I guess I could hack into the School Mainframe Computer System and just put myself into some classes.  It's 2024!  They program classes by Generative AI!  Easy to manipulate!  I don't know how to do it, though!  I'M NOT ONE WITH COMPUTERS.
    Anyway.  WHY.  Why would anyone read this so far.  Nothing.  Nothing has happened that's amusing.  Maybe I shuold start thinking about Self Harm.  Hmm.  I was a depressed and bothered kid like Kurt Cobain was but I'm not a depressed and bothered adult like he also was!  I don't think about DepressionType stuff at all!  NEVER think about suicide or anything.  Maybe I'm missing out!  Self Harm thoughts probably release endorphins per my memory.  Gets ya off in some respect.  Suicidal Ideation FEELS GOOD in a perverse way!  That rings some sort of bell!  Otherwise people wouldn't do it!  Well, It feels good to have feelings.  And that's THE EPITOME of feeligns!  I FEEL SO MUCH I CAN'T STAND IT.  GOTTA KILL MYSELF.  THAT'S HOW MUCH I FEEL.  That's sort of how it goes?  Anyway.  Now I feel a lot LIGHTER feelings.  I still feel stuff but this is EASY stuff.  Good deal.  I feel myself!  Physically!  In a gross, sex way!  That's the most feeling I get these days!  Sorry!  That's the hand I've been dealt.  Hey these things change.  I'll feel Other Things as my life progresses, right?  That's a good guess at least!
    Okay.  Anyway.  What speeches am I seeing tonight. I know at least Joseph Robinette Biden.  Maybe they're televising another speech or two as well!  So that should be good.  Apparently they spend time at the convention working out the party's platform.  I hope they aim for the top!  Shoot for the stars!  Knock some issues to campaign and subsequently govern on out of the park!  BE BOLD AND WHATKNOT, that's what the times call for!  What times.  The TIME it is now.  And the TIME it will be later!  A healthy mix of very achievable things and things that seem hard to achieve at first.  Stuff that appeals specifically to independents and stuff that's red meat for progressives.  Just Do Lots Of Things!  ERR on the side of PLENTY.  Why.  What makes me say that.  I LIKE IT WHEN THINGS HAPPEN.  I think most people do!  And there's SO MUCH that needs addressing!  You don't need to go out of your way to pick things that aren't really worthwhile as platform issues!  Just start out picking Really Important Issues and you'll see they add up pretty quickly!  Why And When did I start giving my advice Into The Void.  I dunno but it's fun to be able to pretend to have a voice!  I wish you could all experience it!
   Fifth paragraph.  Hmm.  Voice, eh.  Sounds fun!  I dunno.  Veep: The Show really closed strongly.  The last season and the last episode in particular it got really dark and kudos to them!  Hopefully politics is at least a bit lighter today in 2024 than it was in 2019.  Possibly even darker!  I don't know!  I have no ACCESS to politics!  Sure I can Talk Into The Void but that doesn't mean The Void Talks Back very often!  So that's good.  What else is going on and crap.  If the Void Could Talk Back what would it say.  THANKS FOR THE TIPS NOT VERY HELPFUL.  Sounds about right.  I'm generally not very helpful in general!  At least my ramblings registered as a, "Tip!"  To SOME it might have just been considered, "Nonsense!"  Looks like I'm moving up in the world.  That my Dumbness is being entertained as legitimate discourse!  By my own imagination at least.  Gotta start somewhere!  Anyway.  Tipper Gore.  IF Tipper Gore had a better first name would that have won Al Gore Florida in 2000?  I think it was close enough that you could literally point to Thousands Of Things and say If Not For That Al Gore Would Have Won.  And the name of his wife IS one of those things!  Woulda TIPPED the scales.  There Ya Go.
   HALFWAY through.  Internet says she's Mary Elizabeth "Tipper" Gore.  Shoulda stuck with Mary or Elizabeth!  FINE names!  Not sure what she's trying to accomplish with, "Tipper!"  Just turns people off!  Ugh.  What if she's reading this.  Then I've Hit The Big Time!  SHOULD this website have a Parental Advisory Sticker somehow before you start reading it?  Possibly.  "WARNING-- ISN'T VERY GOOD."  Can't exactly argue with that!  Great.  What else is up.  Maybe people like this entry because they can relate to the Entrier.  Hey.  That guy sucks.  JUST LIKE ME!  Lots of people Aren't Great At Everything All The Time!  Let's go with that.  OR maybe people like it because of Stockholm Syndrome.  I'll Take It!  Not sure why you can't leave exactly.  Circumstances have arisen, I guess!  Sorry!  I know I'M not your captor.  I wouldn't even if I could!  That ain't my style!  Anyway.  Stockholm Syndrome is named that because Stockholm is a terrible place to live but the residents got used to it over time and tricked themselves into liking it!  Sweden eh.  Could be a lot worse.
   Seventh paragraph.  I guess!  I googled if Al Gore is at the DNC and nothing came up!  WHY.  He's a leading voice on Climate Change 20 years ago!  Climage Change is the leading issue in my mind Now That I Think About It!  I guess it wasn't the leading issue in my mind just earlier ago.  But NOW IT IS.  I forgot and now I remember!  That's how Climate Change goes!  Sure.  What kind of world do we want to leave our children!  DUNE BUGGIES.  EVERYONE GETS A DUNE BUGGY.  What?  No!  A World Where We're Addressing Climate Change To The Absolute Topmost Best Of Our Abilities Is The World We Want To Leave Our Children!  Well what if they get free Dune Buggies ANYWAY?  Sure I Guess That'd Work!  Hmm.  Gotta address Climate Change!  Gotta also address lots of smaller-medium issues within the overall banner of Climate Change.  I dunno how you do it.  You're The Void YOU Figure It Out!  WHY NOT.  Voice Over Identification.  That's what Void means when you spell it out!  Ugh.           
    Sure.  Anyway.  My maternal grandfather was an auctioneer.  Or ran an auctioneer house.  He was involved in the business one way or another.  So that's good.  We have lots of antiques and crap because of his past jobs.  I guess sometimes you get to take your work home with you!  If no one particularly wants something I Guess You Get To Keep It Or Something!  I dunno HOW you decide What Stuff You Keep.  For whatever reason 2% of the stuff that should be auctioned just never sees the floor.  Huh.  MAYBE MY GRANDPA WAS JUST STEALING FROM WORK.  I never thought of it that way!  ...I still don't!  I think it was His Own Company.  So he's only stealing from himself so it's a victimless crime!  I could be wrong.  Anyway.  Oh here's a joke I wrote down yesterday.  You can't spell, "Christ," without a misspelling of, "Rizz!"  That's it!  Pretty clever, huh!  Christ did have lots of Rizz.  Possibly The Most!  He Is Rizz'n.  That's a tag I just came up with just now!  Pretty clever again, huh!  Anyway.  Kurt Cobain a bit of a misanthrope!  I enjoyed Dave Grohl book because he gets along with everybody!  Kurt Cobain has lots of friends but at the same time more of a loner!  I DON'T LIKE IT.  I want to be on the Cosmic Plane Of Being Friendly!
   Penultimate paragraph.  On A Cosmic Plain.  It's a Nirvana Sawng.  What else is up.  I don't wanna be on a Plane at all.  I wanna be GROUNDED or on the Second Story AT HIGHEST.  So there's that.  Up to the Bob Odenkirk part of Breaking Bad!  Good.  I like what I know of Bob Odenkirk.  His Comedic and Acting Ability!  And the clues I get for What Kind Of Person He Is from books and Director's Commentaries.  GOOD.  A Good Person!  WHAT IN THE WORLD.  We're all good people.  Most of us!  Probably.  Even Kurt Cobain.  That asshole is probably in, "good person," territory by the time I get to the end of the book, too!  I guess I'll find out soon!  Ugh.  Gotta wrap up this entry soon.  One and a half more paragraphs!  That's fine.  I don't have any fancy antiques from Well Known Artists or Historical Events or anything.  But we got some Nice Looking Crap here and there!  Nothing super valuable but a good amount of Vaguely Worthwhile Shit!  My grandfather set me up nicely.  I'll be sure to thank him in afterlife if I ever die!
   Last paragraph!  Great!  Only three more entries for the rest of the week after this one!  Then I got another weekend.  Shit.  Upcoming Weekends means Kurt Cobain Reading.  It's Good Readings but not necessarily Fun.  AH WELL.  Maybe it inspires me to pick up guitar.  It Almost inspired me to pick up guitar last weekend!  Not quite!  But I was close!  Could play some chords.  Write some Nirvana-esque Songs.  The songs Kurt Cobain didn't get around to writing.  I would have written those songs!  I just Didn't Get Around To It!  So that's good.  Oh.  My Sketch class starts this Saturday afternoon!  THAT'S what Saturdays Are Now!  Takes up a huge chunk of the day.  That could be okay!  I Guess!  For some reason I was imagining writing Sketches In Teams during the class.  Now I realize it's probably We Have To Write Sketches alone exclusively.  I dunno.  Could be a mix.  Learn how to do it alone and also get some classes where we write sketches in gruops.  WELL that's it.  I'll see ya tomorrow!  I CAN'T WAIT.  We'll forget about today COMPLETELY.  Everything that happened.  TOTALLY FORGOTTEN.  See ya soon!

-5:30 P.M.   
   

Thursday, August 15, 2024

You're Just In Time For The Entry

    Hi friends!  Time to wrap up another week.  Feels like I let everyone down by not writing exceptionally well this week.  Guess the books are still open on How Exceptional Today Will Be.  On a scale from Not to Is.  WELL anyway!  TV.  Still watching it!  Food.  Still eating it!  Sleeping.  You KNOW IT.  When you're playing The Sims, sometimes every now and then you should suddenly get a Pop Up Window with a message from your Sim saying WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT OF THIS.  Your Sim wants to know The Meaning Of Life!  WHATCHU GOT FOR THEM.  You wanted to play God.  Now it's time to Actually Put The Work In.  Anyone can Boss A Body Around.  Takes a TRUE ONE to make them happy with their life.  As far as I know though Existential Dread hasn't been incorporated into any version of any Sims game yet which seems like a pretty big oversight!  Hmm.  What's the last video game I played extensively.  I wanna say Call Of Duty II on Xbox 360 in around 2020-2022.  I can't remember anything before 2023 to be honest.  I vaguely kind of remember going through the motions and time passing but Not Sure Exactly What The Point Of Any Of It Was.  TAKE THAT, PAST ME.  You Got Called Forgettable And Irrelevant.  Past Me is gonna hate it when He Hears About That!
   Kinda sounds like present me too.  Don't tell Present Me that, either, though!  Might rip a hole in the Space-Time Continuum.  Anyway, down to the last three episodes of Veep!  It was a pretty good series but based on the first couple of episodes in season I I thought it was going to be better.  I was ready for them to knock it out of the park and instead they only hit a double!  That's okay I suppose.  Double is Feeling Up Your Buddy.  Single is Making Out.  Kinda seems like that should be reversed.  I think feeling up the inside of someone's mouth with the inside of your mouth is a lot more intimate than feeling their, "Bonus Areas," with your hands.  I don't like Baseball Analogies for Sex Acts in general!  Baseball is boring but sex is exciting!  How long have these analogies been going on and why has it persisted!  Let's get some Football Anagrams.  I got to QB Blitz with my GF last night.  What does that mean.  I tackled her to the ground and grabbed everything she was holding onto and ran it down for a touchdown.  Pretty straightforward stuff!  I May not know how football OR sex works!
   Probably been ranting about Mixing Up Bases in BaseballSex my entire life.  Feels like I might've gone through that bit half a dozen times before.  Well it sticks in my craw!  Anyway.  That could be a bit for Stand Up Comedy.  I don't have the jokes or laughs yet.  But the premise is there!  I wouldn't be particularly HAPPY to perform or see a bit about Baseball/Sex Analogies but at the same time I would TOTALLY UNDERSTAND if someone did it!  Anyway.  When I was a kid I would always see in movies the advice that hey when you're having sex, as a man, try to think about baseball.  Basically think Unsexy Thoughts so you don't come quickly so your partner gets their money's worth!  Which makes sense but at the same time is kinda UNFAIR to the man!  HEY, YOU.  You know this Great Thing that you spend your entire life trying to achieve?  Yeah, go ahead and DO YOUR DARNDEST to Not Enjoy It!  While it's finally going on STEP ON TEH BRAKES AND ACTUALLY TRY TO NOT HAVE FUN AT ALL.  I don't like it!  Unfair to males!  LET MEN FINISH QUICKLY.  Kornblum '28!  Gotta pick SOME campaign message.  This was the first one that occurred to me!  If Kamala wins this year I won't run in '28.  Wait until '32.  Great.
   Okay.  Sure!  Had pizza last night.  Had chicken roll from That Pizza Place for lunch today.  What will I have for dinner tonight?  Remains to be seen!  I'm considering getting The Whitest Of Castles-- White Castle!  I heard the phrase Onion Ring somewhere on TV or in a Song earlier today and I was like I'd like to eat a CHICKEN ring actually so there ya go Now We're All Caught Up Again!  Possible it was from Beastie Boys Song.  I definitely did listen to that song with the phrase What's Up With Your Bad Breath Onion Rings earlier today.  I may have also heard Onion Ring ELSEWHERE though!  Possible I've been encouraged to get Onion Rings by the universe on multiple fronts!  Either way I don't want an onion ring!  I want a chicken ring!  Still good, though!  Hey Get A Load Of This They Should Call Wakes, "Remains To Be Seen's," Hey Now Am I Right!  Sorry.  At least I took the bullet and made that pun myself.  Now no one else has to!  At some point someone was gonna get to it!  I'll suffer the consequences of seeming like an idiot so NONE OF YOU WILL.  I'm Kind Of A Hero When You Think About It.
    Fifth paragraph!  Pretty sure I've never been to a wake.  How many Just Funerals have I been to?  Possibly 2-4.  Don't remember any of them explicitly.  Why do I need to remember THESE RANDOM PEOPLE'S funerals!  I'll remember MY funeral!  Huh.  Anyway.  Let's see.  What do I got going on for me in my life.  Any Prospects.  What do I mean by that.  Anything Lookin' Good?  Sure.  I remember when I was in college I liked this time of year because I was looking forward to Starting Up Again in the fall semester in a couple of weeks!  College?  You know what that means?  Possible Sex!  A lot more possible than just being in my room at househome.  Hmm.  Anything I can do These-a-days for possible sex?  Sketch class!  If you have a lisp is, "sketch," and, "sex," pronounced the same?  Let's get Trump While Doing His X Interview working on that one.  It's topical humor!  He famously was slurring his words in that interview!  I never saw it but I read the reviews!  WE ALL DID.  Anyway.  I'm not sure I appreciate that I'm probably not gonna embarrass myself in Sketch Class quite as much as I did in Improvisational Classes.  If there are some women in sketch class WHY NOT maybe I can put the, "Mak," on!  I fancy myself good at things!  No that's not gonna happen.  Good topic for a Sketch though!  Huh?
   Halfway through the entry!  Biden famously had a lisp when he was a kid and probably a little bit through his adult life.  But now Trump slurs himself silly as an elderly!  How the worm has turned!  Anyway.  I wouldn't wanna tell people I'm On X.  They'd think I'm doing drugs!  And I'm trying to project a Clean Cut Image so I can GET A JOB.  No One's Gonna Hire Someone Whose Always On X.  That's counterproductive!  How can you tell if a Worm Has Turned.  They seem pretty symmetrical all the way around.  I don't like it!  ANYWAY.  I DUNNO.  It's possible the next week of entries will be even worse than this week, but I'd like to imagine that it gets better.  I guess the only way to find out is Live.  See what happens!  Sounds simple enough.  Not sure I like the passivity of it but I can't think of anything I CAN DO to improve my odds.  Hmm.  They say if you wanna be a good writer, you should write all the time.  That's how you get better!  I ALREADY DO THAT.  And I seem to just get WORSE!  So they're either wrong or deliberately misleading us!  NOT A FAN OF, "THEM."
   Seventh paragraph.  Amazing.  Probably transition smoothly from Veep to Breaking Bad.  Good!  The main thing I'm binge watching is better off being a Dramatic as it's primary genre!  That's how it should be!  Breaking Bad is pretty funny though, too!  It's the best of both worlds!  Funny World and Dramatic World.  So in terms of our solar system explain it to me.  Hmm.  Okay.  So when I say Funny World... that's like... URANUS.  When I say Dramatic World that's like EARTH.  Doesn't get more dramatic than Earth!  Sorry for anyone who was hoping for an extra-terrestrial planet reference!  None of these planets are very dramatic to me.  Who gives a shit.  MARS I GUESS. If I was forced to pick!  Luckily this is FREE COUNTRY.  I'm not being forced!  What else is going on.  I have over three paragraphs left to redeem myself!  I still have a chance to come off looking Not So Bad by the end of the day!  I don't like those odds.  Alright!  Can't we learn about another solar system in school.  ANY other. I don't CARE.  Just pick one at random.  We know of other solar systems with planets, right?  Just PICK ONE.  Give the planets cute names.  And make fourth graders memorize them.  Just in the context of just so you know there ARE other solar systems out there!
   Hmm.  Internet says Scientists have discovered over 5,500 planets.  Great!  More than enough to choose from!  Let's get cracking on A Friendship Star System!  Anyway.  NOW, google, how many planets have LAYMEN discovered?  Hmm.  What else is up.  Google actually used the term astronomers for when they said, "discovered 5,500 planets."  I could STILL make the How Many Laymen Joke but Not Quite.  Doesn't hit Quite the same.  Finally Funeral.  Is that anything.  Not sure I need a funeral when I die.  My parents will be dead.  My brother is really the only person in the world who would need to show up.  Why have a funeral Just For A Single Person.  That'd be weird.  Funeral Grieving is kind of a performative thing in the first place.  Hard to do when you're THE ONLY PERSON THERE.  He's older than me.  He should be dead before me.  Good.  Then it's a funeral about nothing!  It's just happening because the mechanisms of Insurances and whatknot said it had to happen!  Hmm.  EVEN IN DEATH.  Even in death WHAT.  Not sure.  But there's some point to be made I'm sure!
  Penultimate paragraph.  Not gonna see Alien tomorrow.  I'm accepting an Amazon Fresh delivery in the evening.  Maybe see it in Saturday.  Maybe I buy that ticket Right Now!  ALRIGHT!  Alright, I bought the ticket.  Now what.  My credit card expiration date is coming up soon!  No spoilers.  I think I'm getting to the point where I have my 12 digit number memorized.  Lemme type it out here just to test it o... WAIT NO.  Anyway how can I spend my weekend to prepare myself to write good entries next week.  I want to do well!  I'll sacrifice much if it meant I could Do Better Work.  But I have to know what I have to do!  Why won't anyone just tell me WHAT TO DO.  Maybe cause it's preferable to see me flailing about wildly.  That's more amusing than Me Actually Being Funny!  Oh okay.  If it's Amusing then it's for a good cause!  Hmm.  I am good.  Shut up.  It's alright.  That's how I feel!  Why not.  Let's keep going.  Anyway.  Really makes ya think. 
   One more paragraph.  I dunno.  I'll figure out How To Live over the weekend Good Enough!  I have Faith in me!  Maybe not live 100% Ideally but I'll do OKAY, right?  Kurt Cobain book could be good.  I almost always enjoy books!  I already know a lot about Kurt Cobain but that's no reason to think I won't enjoy this book.  Books are books!  For example Just because I know almost all the words doesn't mean I don't enjoy reading the dictionary!  Classics stand the test of time no matter how familiar you are with the content!  So THAT'S good.  Sweet.  Books or Boobs.  Which is better.  One letter off.  That's a tough one!  Really hard to say.  Both in the top .1%.  I don't think I'm gonna make an argument either way because they're both great.  Anyway.  This feels like an entry I might have written a couple of years ago.  By which I mean, "Bad."  Crazysheet Classic.  I Like It!  I don't like it.  Anyway that's it.  I'll see ya later!

-5:14 P.M.     
      
  
   

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

This Is Good Enough Right/I Forget If This Was Ever Good

    Hey!  Skipped lunch today.  Wasn't really hungry.  I would have enjoyed eating anyway but I made an executive/legislative/judicial decision to not consume calories I don't need to!  I might get a very special dinner though of Chinese Food later.  There ya go.  We're All Caught Up.  What else is new.  Into the final season of VEEP.  I think the show has to be spelled in Caps?  That's how it's officially titled?  Lemme LTURQ.  No, "Veep," appears to be fine stylization.  Would be interesting if a TV show goes out of their way to be All Caps though.  Music Bands do that with their titles sometimes. Why not television shows.  Certainly would make people sit up and pay attention!  Gotta remember to do that with my pilot if I ever write one.  In fact, maybe put the ENTIRE THING in caps.  Everything from the Character's Names to the Scene Headings!  Ugh.  Sure I could put all the dialogue in my inevitable pilot in caps.  And then if I'm ever asked about it I can just say well it just so happens Everyone Is Always Yelling in this episode.  So what.  That's my version of Glengarry Glen Ross.  Always.  Be.  Yelling.
   I don't wanna write a pilot.  Tulip.  Pretty close to palindromic!  Give A Pilot A Tulip A E-cig!  It just makes sense.  If someone put together a comprehensive list of Almost Palindromes, but made them ones that are Actually Good, that person would CLEAN UP in terms of Attention He Receives.  Cause in recorded history no one has ever bothered to do that before!  That kind of Funny List Of Things is RIPE for Enjoyment.  Hmm.  Maybe I should do that.  I dunno.  Sounds too much like work!  If I do them one at a time off the top of my head, sure, it's all in good fun!  If I'm making a buzzfeed-type list for work, suddenly that's a job!  I don't like doing jobs!  Unless I'm being paid for them.  And even then that is a hypothetical statement!  Anyway.  What was I just talking about.  I forget.  Should be getting my Nirvana/Cobain and Hendrix/Hendrix books tomorrow.  In time for reading them over the weekend!  Hmm.  Wasn't sure which I should read first but it just occurred to me to read them in chronological order.  Whichever one was written first I should read first.  Maybe there's storylines and characters introduced Early in the first one that pay off in the next one!  I'm not sure that's how Music History works.  Oh. How does music history work?  I'm not sure.  I JUST told you.
   Hmm.  I am more interested in Nirvana/Cobain because I've listened to that music 100x as much as Jimi Hendrix.  I appreciate Jimi Hendrix but it doesn't resonate with me the way other music I like does.  If he was alive this whole time I might feel different!  He's so cool and if he was Cool And Alive I'd be prone to be more inclined to try to get into his music so he would like me. BEING DEAD THOUGH I have no real inclination to go out of my way to have the music register with me.  It's technically awesome!  Just doesn't get me going at any stage of my life so far!  Maybe my Hendrix phase comes later.  Could be!  Whatever.  His version of The Star Spangled Banner actually sounds good. He took the worst song in the universe and makes it Diggable!  Even I could appreciate that.  Is there one, "G," or two in, "Diggable."  What the Hell.  I don't know.  I can DIG his music.  But I don't necessarily GROOVE to it MOST of the time.  Is that okay with you MOTHER?
    Fourth paragraph!  Might see the new Alien movie this weekend.  The Alien franchise historically isn't my favorite thing but the eleventh time's the charm!  Should be entertaining enough.  Sure there's an 80% chance I can't follow the plot because I took too many bathroom breaks but I'll probably be able to get something out of the experience.  Anyway.  Half of the theaters in the movie theater are on the same floor as the bathroom and the other half are two floors above.  WHAT A DIFFERENCE.  We're talking an extra 45-75 seconds I'm missing of the movie per bathroom break every time I see a film in Theater Sections On A Different Level.  I should just buy tickets to movies being shown on The Bathroom Floor from now on.  Interesting.  Wait.  No.  Not interesting.  Sorry.  Got confused for a second.  Anyway.  Sketch Class is now in ten days.  Still spots left!  Hope it fills up before then!  I wanna be around people and whatknot.  Not sure why.  What, am I gonna make friends or something?  Not likely!  But it's 2024 The Year Of Something Or Something anything can happen.
    What is 2024 the year of.  The Chinese Year Of The Wood Dragon per the internet.  Huh.  WOOD and DRAGON?  There's a match made in Somewhere!  I was born in A year of the Dragon too.  What Alternative To Wood was then.  Earth.  Earth Dragon.  Yep that's 1988 for ya!  I guess you had to be there.  Like I was.  For three weeks.  I think I got the gist of it.  Ugh.  How come different civilizations Made Up Dragons?  Hmm. Dragons don't exist per my understanding but also Old Timey Civilizations which did not necessarily have contact with each other independently had dragons?  HMM.  SOUNDS LIKE A SCAM.  Or maybe Dragons Just Exist!  Guess that's the most logical answer.  WOW.  DRAGONS.  Where Are They Now.  I can't wait to see myself a dragon!  This riff may Drag On more than we want it to.  Ugh.  Let's see.  Started watching Jurassic World: Dominion last night.  Turns out I have already seen this.  But it's mostly new to me anyway.  I don't pay attention to movies when I watch them usually these days!  Probably since getting a Smart Phone.  That'd be my guess of When I Stopped Paying Attention To What I Was Watching.  Hmm.  Back in the day I did things by ANALOG.  I was on The Computer while I watched TV but for some reason I was still able to pay attention.  But being on the phone-internet instead for some reason makes it harder to pay attention than being on the computer-internet!  I don't know if that's entirely accurate but it feels true.
   Sure!  Halfway through the entry!  Has anything HAPPENED this entry yet?  Sure.  Who could forget the story about... I... uh...  DRAGONS.  Everyone needs a break from Things Happening every now and then.  Imagine M Night after working on his film The Happening for months and months.  Just needed some relief from that project!  What do you call M Night Shyamalan colloquially.  My guess is Night but I guess M is your standard back-up guess.  NIGHT is his made up name.  I used to know that.  Maybe we call him M after all.  Dial M for murder.  Huh.  Wha.  What would dialing M for murder accomplish.  Do I dial M if I WANT to murder someone?  Or if I WITNESSED a murder?  Either way I don't think hitting "6" on my phone is gonna help me with My Murder Situation At All.  It's Gotta Do SOMETHING.  They made an entire movie about it!  Well it got a whole generation of Prospective Murderers tied up on the phone.  Just sitting there with their rotary phone listening to a ring tone because they only hit one button once.  WELL PLAYED.  It's a good movie AND he stopped Murders from happening.  Hitchcock was a Hero!
    Ugh.  This entry feels like it could use a lot of, "Ughs," in it.  So far only 3 or 4 but more could definitely apply as well.  With more, "Ugh," inducing moments to come!  Get it all out of my system.  Tomorrow we're back to being Not The Worst.  Hmm.  Looks like Cobain book was released before Hendrix book.  OK.  There you have it!  I wonder how many pages it is.  Gonna guess 267.  Nope.  381.  That was gonna be my second guess.  Wow.  Looks like if they ever make a film based on Kurt Cobain it's on track to be based on this book specifically.  That's great!  I like FILMS.  SMILE is almost an anagram of FILMS.  That could even be utilized in my Practically Palindrome book.  Now it's a book?  Before it was just a list.  Yep!  One day it might be even More Than A Book!  What else is going on.  Not much!  Feels like JULY to me.  Actually halfway through August!  I just wrote an entire 2/3rds of a paragraph (finisehd this paragraph and started a new) about How It Feels To Me Seasonwise but I deleted most of it.  I hardly ever delete shit I write!  SUFFICE TO SAY We're Deep Into Seasons so adjust your living accordingly!  Autumn is in 5.5 Weeks!
   When's Halloween This Year.  Usually the last day of October.  Scary!  Any October Surprises coming from either Harris or Trump campaigns?  I dunno if they bother with October Surprises these days!  What's the point.  If you got some Intel just release it as it comes!  I'll still remember it weeks later when I actually vote!  I'm not some sort of IDIOT that I only remember things I learned in the last 72 hours!  Probably not.  I'm other sorts of Idiot!  How many kinds of Idiot can one man be!  SEVEN.  Hmm.  Looking forward to the Democratic Convention next week!  Gonna actually go out of my way to watch it!  I'll watch ALL THEM events and speeches.  I don't care!  It's all good!  Democrats gonna knock it out of the Convention Center.  BIDEN?  OBAMA?  CLINTONS?  Walz and Harris?  Are you kidding me?  These people are ALL Not As Bad As Potentially Possible.  Maybe even Neutral-Good!  Maybe even GOOD!  Gonna have to tune in to find out exactly where they're at I guess!  Watch along with me if you wanna be on the same page as I am when you read the website coming up!
   Why would anyone EVER wanna be on the same page as me.  That sounds like THE WORST.  I think You're gonna wanna be able to see it from my point of view without exactly being AT my point of view.  That sort of thing!  I understand.  Anyway.  VEEP HERSELF Julia Louis-Dreyfus is hosting a panel of Democratic Women Governors!  I'll watch that.  I LOVE The Ladies!  Sorry.  Hmm.  Wow.  There's eight Democratic female governors.  That's a large panel!  GOOD LUCK trying to get a word in edgewise!  How do I feel about my own Female Governor Kathy Hochel?  EH!  Finally got marijuana legalized!  I believe it was grandfathered in from past administration/State Congress but she probably could have stopped it or let it go through and she let it go through.  I Think that's how it went down.  Might be wrong.  Anyway I don't follow POLITICS but I'm gonna give her a C+/B-.  And I may be grading it on a CURVE.  BUT the curve might either be a Curve In Her Favor or Against Her, really can't say at this time!  So that's good.  If I had to give her a thumbs up or a thumbs down I'd give her a thumbs up because Why Not!  Hasn't done anything to personally offend me!  That's politics for ya!
   One more paragraph to go!  I KNOW I've come across stories that made it seem Hochel was Doing The Wrong Thing.  I'm not just being a jerk for no reason! I just Don't REMEMBER.  But at the same time Could Be Worse!  Moving on!  How about today's entry.  NOT GREAT, am I right?  Whatever!  I'd still give it a thumbs up, though!  Better than nothing!  I guess.  Back when it was Siskel and Ebert, technically they could give films Up To Four Thumbs Up.  But as far as I know they topped out at Two!  Seems like SOME film should have hit Three Thumbs Up if it was REALLY good.  Off the top of my head FIELD OF DREAMS.  THE UNTOUCHABLES.  BATMAN (1989).  Huh.  What do those films have in common.  These are all films I thought were Okay.  So that's good!  Anyway.  Two out of three have Kevin Costner.  Should I adjust my Three Film List so there's no Obvious Overlap?  No.  I'm fine with some Costner Overlap.  Not a big deal.  I guess that's the end of the entry.  I feel bad leaving you like this.  I'll see ya in like 24 hours with Some More Better Paragraphs!  Seriously.  Just wait there.  I'll be Right Back!

-4:02 P.M.   

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

This Could Be My Big Break

    Hey!  No It Can't.  Hey!  Let's get right into it.  Just had lunch!  It's not important what I had for lunch.  I'm not gonna waste your time with that!  Let's just move on with our lives already!  Watched Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom last night.  That was a pretty crappy movie.  Maybe if I paid more attention I would have interpreted it as better.  OR maybe I could have viewed it as even worse.  Bought a new pocket notepad yesterday.  It's indexcard style.  It's like 50 index cards but they're all connected.  That's modern notepad for ya!  I think they're making progress!  What was the first thing I used the notepad for?  HMM.  Kinda privileged information!  Not sure I feel comfortable letting that into the world.  But I took a couple of notes this morning.  Why does this paragraph feel like THE WORST paragraph I ever wrote?  Maybe it is.  Had to happen eventually!  All uphill from here.  Or downhill.  I forget which one is the good one!  I've made that joke-observation before.  Still true!  I still don't know!  Nobody is educating me on my past ignorance so it will continue to be repeated indefinitely!
    If it's all DOWNHILL from here that means this is a HIGH POINT.  Which means IT'S GOOD RIGHT NOW.  Pretty sure that's accurate.  But you could make an argument either way about Where On A Hill is actually a more positive place for you to be at.  Just playing Devil's Advocate!  Why does the Devil need an advocate.  I'd imagine the Devil is one of the best IF NOT THE BEST at Advocating For Himself.  I'm not a scholar but when I imagine The Devil's Skills, advocating for himself is up there near the top!  The only person better at advocating for himself than the Devil is God.  And that's because he's the best AT EVERYTHING.  It's kind of NOT FAIR when you think about it!  HMM.  What is the Devil's position on this matter.  Better check in with Keanu Reeves.   Why would the Devil need a lawyer!  I mean I get that he likes to collect souls in general.  That part makes sense!  We've all been there!  Huh.  Got Halal Food from Cart last night.  I'm not gonna bore you with what I had for lunch today cause that's boring.  But I'll bore you with what I had for dinner last night because that was exciting!  Chicken and lamb over rice!  No salad!  But he still peppered on onion and peppers sporadically which was fine-- he asked me if it was okay and I Said Yes!  Little bit of white sauce and hot sauce and ya know what Perfect Portion!
   Oh okay that's good.  Now I should tell a story or make a joke that's Actually Entertaining.  Reward you for not hanging yourself in desperation after that bullshit 4-6 sentences!  Is Keanu Reeves related to George Reeves a.k.a. Superman Classic?  Better LTURQ.  It doesn't look like he is!  But he is related to HIS relatives.  HIS meaning Keanu's.  Not George's.  So that's good.  The Jordan Peele/Keegan-Michael Kee movie Keanu makes people think of Keanu Reeves.  THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING.  I guess Keanu Reeves was okay with it!  Hmm Wikipedia says Keanu Reeves actually plays the voice of the titular kitten named Keanu.  I don't remember that from my experience!  When I watched it originally in 2016 it had nothing to do with Keanu Reeves!  I'M GONNA STICK TO THAT NARRATIVE.  YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH A FEELING.  Maybe in teh end I'll be proven wrong and I'll be left with nothing but my memories, my empty, incorrect memories!  But at least I stood by my convictions!  That's important in life.  Not sure that's true.  A lot of life is Not Standing By Your Convictions.  Not sure that's true either.  Hmm.  What the Hell AM I supposed to do with My Convictions.  Hmm.
   Fourth paragraph!  How about a billboard where the left is a picture of Kamala Harris and it says Stands By Her Convictions and on the right it has Trump and it says 34 Convictions.  MONEY, PLEASE.  ...Give me money or else I'll start putting up that billboard places!  Now you're associated with mediocre political campaigning!  It's called extortion and it's how smart business people build capital!  Anyway.  Let's see.  I considered getting Popeye's for lunch today.  That's interesting.  More interesting than what I actually ended up having!  Is it Popeye's or Popeyes.  Or Popeyes'.  It's Popeyes.  Wow.  Popeyes a compound word combining, "Pope," and, "Yes."  No extra or subtracted letters.  Pope Yes.  Does everything the Pope THINK Be Immaculate, too?  Cause I doubt it!  I've seen a few Pope's in my day and all these people are Thinking Some Freaky Ass Shit Just Look At Them.  In fact Popes are THE LAST People I'd Want To Be Pope.  Who shuold be Pope.  Well we were talking about Keanu Reeves before.  Maybe him!  Or a team of Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele!  The Guy Who Made My Halal Food!  This was the most perfect amount of White and Hot Sauce I think I EVER got!
   Fifth paragraph!  Probably Muslim.  Fine he's Caliphate not Pope same thing.  Not positive I'm using that word correctly.  That's life!  Whatever.  Have I Ever seen the Third Jurassic World?  Hmm.  Lemme LTURQ.  NOPE don't think I saw this piece of crap yet!  COOL.  Maybe I'll actually pay attention to it then!  SWEET.  I guess.  Keegan Michael Key is the BEGINNING of a syllable palindrome.  Starts off in the right direction!  Ultimately doesn't pay off though!  Francis Scott Key wrote a terrible song that we're still subjected to all the time.  The Star Spangled Banner.  I guess on some guttural level it hits some sort of chord with us, but empirically This Song Is Terrible.  Why would I ever want to hear this Again let alone All The Time.  That's not a funny bit.  It's been done before!  Comedians been doing jokes about the Star Spangled Banner since Time Immemorial.  Hmm.  I'm going over the song in my head just now.  It's even worse than I thought.  Possibly THE WORST song that everyone knows.  Everything about it is just awful!  Halfway through the entry!
   I'm fine with celebrating America.  Just get a better song in there instead!  God Bless America in the interim while we craft something new and fresh.  Hmm.  Who should we employ to write The New National Anthem.  Well we were talking about Keanu Reeves earlier.  Maybe him!  The guy who made my Halal Food.  Not only did he do the ideal amount of Hot and White Sauce, but he drizzled it on like an ARTIST.  Spaced it out so that I got a little bit in each bite.  How did he do that!  Have there been advancements made IN GENERAL among Cart People in the last few years?  Or is This Specific Guy just really good at it?  Hmm.  Anyway.  Get Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele on it!  DO they do music?  I forget!  Gonna say roughly 60% They Make Some Music!  Looks like they do make music.  I never watched their Comedic Central Show except for the rare bit and/or piece here and there!  Maybe I get around to it while I'm taking Skeatch Ckomedy Class!  My impression is that they did sketch comedy RIGHT.  Great.  Why was this an entire paragraph.  We accomplished very little in it.  I know not every paragraph is The Best but DAMN this one is just TERRIBLE.  If you translate The Star Spangled Banner into Modern English it reads WAY TOO MANY STARS ON THIS BANNER.  And that was in 1812.  Imagine what he'd say about the current flag!  Francis Scott Key would be like THIS IS WAY TOO MANY STARS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.
    Seventh paragraph.  Not sure if he's necessarily anti-Lots Of States In Practice or if he just doesn't like the design of the stars on teh flag.  But the point is, "Spangled," has a negative connotation when you read it with fresh eyes!  Possible Star Spangled Banner was a secret protest song and the message was Get Rid Of Some States!  I don't see how you can reach ANY OTHER CONCLUSION.  Whatever.  Just LTURQ and the flag at the time that inspired Francis Scott Key had 15 stripes and 15 stars.  What the Hell.  They started giving out stripes at some point?  Then they took 'em back?  I didn't know that part of history of Flag!  Anyway DON'T SAY YOU NEVER LEARNT NOTHIN from the website-- Kentucky and Vermont briefly were Stripes on the American Flag!  NOW you can say you learnt nothing because You Already Forgot It.  Maybe You'll Remember Kentucky. You don't forget a state like that!  Ken Tuck Ey.  Hilarious!  You'll forget about Vermont though.  I forgot about it myself already!  Ugh.  I had Cup Noodles for lunch.  Then I ate a small roll.  Then I had a few Ruffles.  Whew.  I feel like a weight has been lifted.  Now what should I do with this weight.  I can't hold it forever!
    Three paragraphs to go.  HEY OUT OF NOWHERE I JUST CHECKED TO SEE IF I AM REGISTERED TO VOTE AND YOU SHOULD TOO.  I am registered to vote!  Not only should you make sure you are but PAY THAT SHIT FORWARD.  https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote  Encourage everyone you know to make sure they're registered to vote!  Why not.  Couldn't hurt!  IN FACT You Might Just Be Being A Hero!  Ugh.  What else is going on.  Put that on a billboard.  Telling people to make sure they can vote!  It's important!  The other side purges people by playing tricksies and whatknot!  OR maybe you just became inactive by natural causes!  Either way couldn't hurt getting the message out there that You Gotta Make Sure You're Registered Now!  Oh okay very good.  Looks like RFKII ain't gonna be on the ballot in New York.  Oh no!  Now I won't get an opportunity to Not Vote For Him!  Well I'm still Not voting for him.  I'll have to Not Vote For Him By Default instead of By Explicit Choice!  Oh well we all have to make sacrifices.  Are there voting systems in the world where you vote Against People instead of For People.  Like, in a three way race, I can vote for One Person DEFINITELY NOT THIS PERSON.  And it shows up as a Demerit against them?  And the other two candidates aren't affected?  Probably not!
   Penultimate paragraph.  If we're voting against people We Better Be Allowed To Vote More Than Once.  Cause I wanna vote against Most People usually!  That'd be my first thought at least.  Maybe in practice it turns out differently, I dunno.  Anyway.  Not sure I understand the premise of becoming an inactive voter.  Hmm.  For one reason or another This Person Has Displeased Us.  NOW THEY MUST PERFORM SPECIAL ACTIONS TO GET BACK IN OUR FAVOR AND VOTE AGAIN.  WHY.  They voted before.  Just let them vote gain!  What happened that was so terrible that they have to do bonus stuff to vote again!  Must be SOME logic to it that I'm missing.  Maybe the logic is Voter Suppression.  I dunno, must be some Legitimate Benign Logic!  In some cases at least!  Right?  Probably?  Anyway.  It's TOO COMPLICATED to keep everyone on the voter rolls!  These people haven't voted in a while?  Why should I have to remember their name?  I'M Gonna Erase Their Name From This List!  Just keep em on the list!  Buy more paper!  Why make it harder for them!
   Last paragraph.  I dunno!  Got some new socks last week.  Same socks as the old socks!  But now I have more of them!  Great!  I like 'em!  Does Kamala Harris have any pets as Vice President right now as we speak.  "Does Kamala Harris Have A Cat?  Here's What We Know," is the headline to a Page One Hit on google when I typed in that question.  Either a YES OR NO would suffice I would have thought but maybe it's more complicated than I anticipated.  Anyway.  Definitely seems like she's pet free!  But I imagine if she's elected PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES she'd get a dog or something.  You don't wanna look like a Weirdo!  That's her campaign promise!  She's Not A Weirdo!  Kind of a risky move.  My guess is Everyone Is Weird In Their Own Way.  But she and her partymates are certainly a lot LESS weird than their opponents and people seem to be responding to that.  So it's been working.  Great!  Anyway.  Kamala should give a speech where she's like YA KNOW WHAT SOMETIMES I AM A WEIRDO.  IN A GOOD WAY.  DEAL WITH THAT SHIT.  Male Weirdness = Creepy.  Women Weirdness = Endearing!  IT'S THE TRUTH.  It sounds bad and unfair and trust me I know I suffer from the public image consequences of it more than anyone!  But you can't argue with the accuracy of it.  Anyway.  The weirdness of Trump/Vance/Republicans is Exceptionally Creepy, though!  When the Harris campaign calls them Weird they don't really mean Weird.  They're using the word Weird as a euphemism for, "Fuckin' WEIRD."  Hmm.  Maybe Kamala doesn't wanna come out as weird!  That's her decision!  I read her book and she seems very normal but I'm sure she's also weird in a very normal way if you get to know her Just Like Any Other Human.  Anyway.  WHAT NOW.  The entry is over.  We all go our Separate Ways.  OH OKAY.  I dunno.  I'll see ya tomorrow! 

-4:16 P.M.

Monday, August 12, 2024

I'm Not A Huge Fan Of This Universe Either

    Hey, friends.  Some sort of NEW WEEK is upon us!  Wow, already resorted to having to use Unneeded Caps Phrases.  AND Italics.  That's not good!  The less I use Emphatic Helpers In Font, the better!  Alright I'll keep that in mind going forward.  Anyway, finished the Kamala Harris book.  Saw on Threads some author who wrote a well received book about Kurt Cobain/Nirvana died.  So I added that book to my Amazon Cart!  As well as a Jimi Hendrix book by the same guy!  I don't think I've read any book about Jimi Hendrix yet.  Hymie is NOT how you pronounce his name.  I know that much.  Other than that mostly everything will be new to me!  What else did I get done over the weekend.  Started re-watching Breaking Bad.  I think I only watched this series The First Time I Watched It.  The first time you watch it you find Walter White ONE KINDA WAY but any subsequent viewings you're gonna have to look at him Another Way!  Even from Episode One!  Knowing What We Know About How He Turns Out!  I dunno.  I'm still pretty much looking at him The Original Way actually!  I THOUGHT I'd only be able to look at him The Added Context Way.  But ACTUALLY 1.5 episodes in, I'm able to watch it as if it's more or less new to me!  So now I don't know WHAT to think!  The thing that's empirically true or the thing that I originally assumed!  What to think, what to think!
    I watched Jurassic World for the first time possibly since seeing it in theaters.  It's not so bad!  It's not so good, either!  If the universe we lived in was better we'd concurrently have a better Jurassic World.  Meanwhile, the universe we're in, we apparently got THIS Jurassic World.  That's a good indication of how to interpret Just How Good Is The Universe We're In.  Well, what kinda Jurassic World did they give us?  THIS KIND?  HMM.  I SEE.  There are things out there better than Jurassic World.  If you wanna have more faith in the universe just Go Search Them Out.  Also, things that are WORSE!  If you wanna think Worse of the universe, go ahead and expose yourself to that crap!  OR just watch Jurassic World on repeat and be like WHATEVER I GUESS THIS IS IT!  Guess I should re-watch the sequel.  Oh. There's two sequels available already!  Wow.  What a wonderful world.  Miles Davis.  THAT'S RIGHT I WENT THERE.  Am I wrong?  Am I making a joke?  In the end there is no difference.  A big part of my life is Being Wrong About Something and I might be joking and I might not, we're not always gonna be able to tell, that's life!
    Sure.  Looks like the Olympics is over.  America did pretty good!  I like how it corresponded with newfound patriotism in rooting for the Kamala Harris/I Wanna Say Pete Walz ticket that's rocketing to the top.  His name is TIM.  How hard is that to remember.  Apparently a step or two above Easy!  Not anymore, though.  Gonna remember now!  Apparently Tim Walz is very much into music.  That's cool!  One day I hope to reconcile that Music Is Very Central To Who I Am yet I have a Very Elementary Understanding and Limited Exposure To It!  Maybe Tim Walz can have some Vice Presidential Initiative to make us more familiar with music or something!  I dunno the details!  That's HIS job!  Kamala Harris doesn't HATE music.  There were a dozen or so chapters in her book and I can't remember ANY of them being about her being anti-music.  Hmm.  I think she talked about music now and again.  Like a normal person.  Probably 3-6 references to I Liked This Song At This Point In My Life or something peppered throughout the book.  At least ONE.  I remember it happening at least ONCE!
    At least ONCE?  So that means at least Spanish Eleven Times!  Not bad!  Is that the kind of joke Tim Walz would like.  OR Kamala Harris.  We  should oughtta unite around their sensibilities I feel!  Why not!  Also the answer is That's The Kind Of Joke Nobody Likes.  Anyway.  VEEP is okay but it's not really about Washington DC.  I'm not sure WHAT it's about.  It's gotta be about something.  But it's not about THE REAL WORLD.  That's the impression that I get.  It's about Hey Here's Some Great Comedic Actors Look At Em Go.  As far as I can tell!  That's the entire show!  I could be doing so much more important things with my time than Watching Actors Go.  ANYTHING I watch I'm Watching Actors Go.  But at least Other Shows Are ABOUT Something.  They got something to say!  What doe VEEP have to say!  WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?  Hmm.  Probably stuff and stuff!  It's just not leaving an imprint on me.  "Isn't Politics Ridiculous!"  SHUT UP.  THAT'S NOT A THING TO SAY.  Anyone could say that.  See I Just Did!
   Fifth paragraph.  I'm still having a fun time watching it!  Why not.  It's Television!  Anyway.  Who is amore appropriate mate for me, Selina Meyers who is presumably in her earlier 50's, or Selina Meyer's daughter who is presumably around 21.  Society relatively accepts either one!  Not necessarily ideal situation for society but they'd go along with it!  I'm 15 years younger than one and 15 years older than the other!  I guess either one is About As Right As The Other!  But which one IS MORE RIGHT.  Let's remove the VEEP Character connotation when discussing this Thought Experiment.  At Me Being 36 in a couple months which is more better,  dating a 21 year old or a 51 year old?  I DUNNO.  IT'S FINE.  DATING A 21 YEAR OLD IS OKAY.  THERE IS A LIMIT THOUGH once you start decreasing the years by a couple of years.  And no one's gonna be ANGRY if I date a 51 year old.  Unless it's a particularly INFURIATING 51 year old!  I don't know what that means.  The point is as long as you're adults Age Isn't Extremely Important Unless You're About The Same Age Which Is Meaningful And That's Probably Often The Best.  Probably a bell curve where the closer you are to the same age as your partner, the more compatible you're gonna be!  Most of the time!  I got Potential Suitors of ALL THE AGES OF THE RAINBOW is the inspiration for this paragraph.  Think I'm gonna go with... hmm... what's a good age.  I Don't Know.  You could make a case FOR ANY of the ages.  18-62!  I can't narrow it down AT ALL!  What The Hell Is Wrong With Me.
    AGES!  Rock of Ages.  What's My Age Again.  Age Against The Machine.  I know the Matrix is permanently set in 1999 but these peoplebatteries still age, don't they?  Or do they just relive the same year over and over?  But if they age, wouldn't the Matrix actually have to set itself in like the entire 1900-2100 and they just round it off to saying We Permanently Party Like It's 1999 for simplicities sake.  We know 1999 exists.  Someone is 100 years old then so 1900 must have existed for him.  Someone is 0 so 2100 must exist for them.  Probably is explained if you watch the movie.  Cool.  I like movies!  AGE IS JUST A NUMBER.  Yes and math is the universal language and what our entire multiverse is based on.  Oh Okay Hmm When You Put It That Way.  I'm so sick of the multiverse.  They gotta make one superhero comic book movie where They Kill The Multiverse.  That would be the most popular superhero movie of all time.  NO MORE MULTIVERSE.  People wuold go out of their minds!  I dunno if they can accomplish that.  What's to stop future movies from doing a multiverse anyway.  Well it'd still be temporarily rewarding even if they Just Pretended To Stop The Multiverse For The Plot Of This Hypothetical Movie.  Hmm.  I guess I can write that movie.  Sure.  I can do lots of things!
    Seventh paragraph.  What else.  What is the Multiverse.  I am apparently very Anti-MultiVerse.  CAN I DESCRIBE IT?  OH YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU SEE IT.  Ugh.  Let's just make The One Universe We Actually Live In a relatively good one!  That should be our top priority!  Oh okay that's good.  I am confusing movies with real life.  That'll happen!  What else is up.  I'd date the right 63 year old.  We don't need to get into specifics!  The point is The world is my oyster!  No it isn't.  Yeah but it's fun to play pretend now and again.  Who cares.  Not sure I ever had oysters!  When I was a kid I'd tell you my favorite food was Baked Clams, though!  Pretty close!  Specifically from this one restaurant that is no longer with us.  It was kind of, "My Thing!"  Anyway.  When I was a kid I used to get an appetizer AND a main course.  Is that normal?  Now it seems excessive.  I mean, I guess it's normal, that's the entire premise of the definition of the word appetizer.  But in practice it seems like A Bit Much unless you haven't eaten all day.  Anyway.  You can even get a dessert too.  Dessert doesn't count though.  You're not gonna be eating that to satisfy hunger in the first place.  You're eating it Just Because You Can.
   Dessert is AN AFFRONT TO GOD.  You should be able to eat Dessert Foods in life but After An Entire Dinner???  Not Sure That's The Best Time For Those Foods!  We can figure out more appropriate times!  Like Breakfast!  That way you're eating it when you actually Need to eat something.  Good.  Move on from this topic, I say!  It did it's job!  Filled up space!  Made me look like a retard!  A Third Thing!  What else is up.  Tomorrow's entry will be better than today's!  I don't know if it will be Good yet, but I think it'll be Better.  Yes!  Anyway.  Hey today is my 2/3rds birthday.  35.6667.  Great.  I'm in the prime of some guy's life!  Possibly Mine!  Jeez.  Let's see.  I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY COFFEE-- The Same Age As Me Roughly!  That'd be my first instinct!  Doesn't need to be the case but that'd be my first thought.  We have the same cultural references!  And they'd be progressed in their journey through Life Physically And Mentally about as much as I am!  Men and women have different peaks and valleys over their Zero Through Death Years but it'd still be good to be with someone close to roughly where I am!  Sure, makes sense.  
   Penultimate paragraph.  OR maybe I just meet someone I like.  What the hell.  MEET SOMEONE.  Well that's clearly not going to happen!  Oh okay very good moving on.  I can't say for certain I've ever met anyone who Liked Me.  Pretty confident Nobody In Life Has Ever Liked Me.  That's what the evidence seems to suggest.  GREAT.  Awesome stuff!  I feel if I just keep a POSITIVE ATTITUDE and DO GOOD THINGS thing'sll turn around for me.  That's all women want in a man.  2)Someone Who Does Good Things 1)Someone With A Positive Attitude.  Yep.  Checks out Completely.  I'm SET moving forward in the future!  Anyway.  Just take life one step at a time!  RIGHT NOW the move is to Do Things And Be Positive!  The ultimate goal is to Be With Someone!  I don't know how I get from Point A to Point Z.  I guess I'll have to figure out Points B through Y!  WOW.  I don't necessarily have to figure out what they are.  Just DO them.  I don't even need to know what I'm doing!  All I have to do is mindlessly do it!  WOW!
    Last paragraph!  Great.  Talked about my Personal Personal life a lot this entry!  Good deal, cause I may never say anything about it again!  Get your last Thinking About Me in right now, cause this is it!  Hmm.  What else is there to talk about.  I'm not qualified to speak on most subjects.  World War I.  They had submarines back then.  That's a fact that always fascinates me!  They had submarines in the civil war!  You know how early on in world history we had submarines?  THAT EARLY!  Anyway.  Do marines ever ride in submarines.  And how do they feel about that.  Subly?  I hope not.  It's just part of their job!  We all got jobs to do!  Do they feel submissive to the military industrial complex when they're doing Just Regular War Killing Fighting Parts Of Their Job?  I don't know!  Everyone is different.  We all live in a yellow sub marine.  Great.  Anyway what does I got going on for dinner?  I got turkey Bolognese with pasta meal from Super Market as a possibility.  I got steak from Super Market as possibility.  I THINK I might look outward for choices, though.  Get something else from somewhere else!  I don't know from where.  Taco Bell maybe!  THAT'S IT.  SEE YA TOMORROW.  IT'LL BE BETTER!

-3:20 P.M.           
   
   

Thursday, August 8, 2024

It's Kind Of Funny When You Think About It

    What's up!  Got a weekend coming up real soon. That's good for all of us!  Except for those of us who work inverted schedules.  And don't like their jobs.  Looks like Trump was just giving a little speech.  I get the impression I don't need to know anything that happened.  The way I opt to deal with Trump is the way you deal with the Advertisement Logo Monsters in the Treehouse Of Horror Episode Of The Simpsons Which Itself Might Have Been Based On Another Pop Culture Reference. Just Don't Look!  If you stop paying attention to him it deprives him of his power!  So far he hasn't been president for YEARS so I must be doing something right.  Microsoft FrontPage doesn't recognize Treehouse as a word.  Sounds like a word to me.  Tim Walz is the kind of guy to build a tree house but then get jealous of the tree house and then He Decides To Live In The Tree House and give the regular house to his son.  Am I doing this right?  He's not jealous of the Tree House.  He's jealous of whomever gets to reap the benefits of spending time in the tree house.  You can't be jealous of a structure.  That's not how it works!
   Maybe the regular house, were it sentient, could be jealous of the tree house.  Because They're The Same Thing.  But I don't see why a MAN would be jealous of a HOUSE, tree or not!  There was a Man Who Was House.  His name was Hugh Lourie and they made a TV Series about it.  Hugh Laurie's name is pretty reminiscent of the comedy duo Laurel and Hardy.  Hardly.  People should start ignoring ME!  Based on the quality of What I Write!  I couldn't blame ya if you took that route.  Hmm.  I signed up for UCB Sketch 101 but I got an e-mail today saying they delayed the class 2 weeks.  Now it starts August 24th.  That's okay!  I think I mightcould appreciate some time to mentally prepare for some Sketchiness.  Really get into the headspace of Who Am I Now?  For The Next Two Months?  I AM An Aspiring Amateur Sketcher!  Take some time to gradually ease into that role.  Maybe it's for the best.  Anyway I'm halfway through VEEP and SPOILER ALERT VEEP IS THE PRESIDENT.  Seven seasons of Vice President Program and she's The President HALFWAYTHROUGH?  That's like if half of The Office they were working in... Some Place... That's Clearly NOT an Office!... that's a good analogy!  It's a simile as well one might argue!
   Alright.  That's like if in 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter THAT KID KEPT BREAKING THE RULES while dating the guy's teenage daughter.  I don't know a lot of TV Programs to reference.  I know the titles of seven TV programs in history and I've watched two of them.  I assume one of the rules is NO RAPE OR RAPE ADJACENT THINGS.  That'd be my top priority as a father!  No unwanted sexual violence.  Does that go without saying though.  I dunno.  Might wanna make it Rule #1 AND #2 just to drive the point home.  "Don't Do Anything I Wouldn't Do!"  Tell the kid that.  Then watch his mind work for 5 seconds as he tries to figure out exactly what options that leaves him with.  You can do a lot of Mind Work in 5 seconds.  It's not that long amount of time to Do Stuff, but to devote to Thinking One Thing?  You can Think That One Thing REAL MUCH in 5 entire seconds!  Okay.  Also bought a T-Shirt from Harris campaign.  It says Harris on it!  Then, below that, it says Walz on it!  That's pretty much it!  Thirty Two Dollars.  Fourty dollars after tax and shipping.  It goes towards a good cause, though.  Shipping.
   Whatever.  It's a unisex shirt.  Is that somethign that shuold concern me.  Will it look too feminine on ME-- A MAN?  Probably not!  I saw an image of it and it looks like a regular shirt.  I won't know for certainties sake though until I see it and wear it in person.  I've worn plenty of shirts that were Unisex in my lifetime.  Never caused a problem for me before!  I'm as much of a man as I was Before Those Shirts!  WELL my testosterone levels DID start dropping but I got a gel I can put on so its okay.  Huh.  I don't do the gel anymore!  Now I do a weekly Self Administered Injection.  LIKE DUDES DO.  You could argue I'm EVEN MORE of a man than before I started wearing unisex shirts when I was 13. ...  I'm comfortable with my gender identity is the point and I assume I will continue to be over the course of the next three months of dog whistles and cat calls for supporting Kamala Harris.  Cat calls are like dog whistles, right?  Same thing, different pet.  Huh.  It's MANLY to support the woman for president.  What, you're rooting for A MAN to win?  Sounds kinda gay.  We shouldn't resort to dog whistles ourselves but if we decide to do so Wouldn't Necessarily Hurt Politically!
    Fifth paragraph.  What kinda crap am I gonna do to enjoy this weekend.  Maybe go see Twisters.  The time has come for me to see That Piece Of Crap!  Gotta read the last chapter of Kamala Harris book.  Then read the Jeff Tweedy book about songs he likes.  Do a marijuana weekend, too!  I like weekends where I'm High for most of them.  Try to do that this time becuase I think I'd enjoy myself!  Anyway there was a moment in Kamala Harris' speech yesterday where she was getting heckled, I think by Pro-Palestinian Person, and she shut them down really forcefully but I felt kinda bad for them.  She was within her right but I identified with the heckler.  Heckler was wrong!  But still.  Maybe it's the latent Class Clown in me.  Hmm.  I don't fault Kamala for how it went and in fact I think she handled it perfectly from her perspective.  But on a raw emotional level it made me feel bad for all parties involved because I'm A Moron!  What else is up.  Might pick up pizza tonight for dinner.  On a raw emotional level that's WONDERFUL!  What a delightful thing!  Kick off my 3.5 day weekend IN STYLE.  HALFWAY through the entry!
   Great.  Hmm.  Unisex.  I'm Unisexual!  I think!  Does that mean you've only had sex with one person other than yourself?  Cause then I'm Unisexual!  YES.  What a sad life I've led.  Thems the breaks!  Whatever.  You don't need to worry about my sexlife.  I've got a good feeling things'll be turning around any moment now!  And by that I mean When I Die and am greeted by 72 virgins in Heaven.  I plan on doing some mujahideen shit.  NO SPOILERS.  Never exactly understood the appeal of Virgins to men.  Whether in Heaven or On Earth or In Hell I Guess.  Why is it more attractive than women who have had sex!  They haven't been SPOILED.  Oh.  Is it some sort of puritanical religious thing.  Being into Virgins is a Religious Kink not a Sex Kink.  Freaks.  Is it also like Oh now these women who have had sex Know I'm Bad At It?  If they're virgins, I'M The Only Reference Point They Have!  But if I'm having sex with Non-Virgins THEY MIGHT KNOW HOW INADEQUATE I AM.  Sounds like a relevant difference to me I guess.  Also maybe you have an unprocessed fetish for younger women/girls and it manifests as liking Virgins instead of conceptualizing it as liking Teenagers.  Sounds gross to me.  I think Virgin Fetish isn't just neutral to me!  Kinda turns me Off Completely in the opposite direction!
    Seventh paragraph.  Ah well.  IT MATTERS.  Everything I think and feel matters for some reason!  We'll figure out how and why later on!  Also I DO NOT plan on doing any Terrorism.  That joke WAS NOT some sort of, "Easter Egg," or anything.  PLEASE BELIEVE ME.  Well who am I to say what the future will hold.  Maybe I'm a Sleeper Cell So Sleepy Even I'm Asleep On It.  Huh.  I really doubt it!  Anyway.  Subjecting people to this website is Horrible Already.  HAVEN'T I DONE ENOUGH?  Probably!  Hmm.  Also I once saw a porn when I was in high school where a guy breaks the girls cherry and you see the blood and that traumatized me a little bit!  I've seen a whole lot of porn in my life and the porn that freaks me out is very few and far between but I remember that sort of bothered me in retrospect!  Hey just had a Psychiatry Breakthrough Good For Me.  Anyway.  I Dunno.  What else do I got going on for me.  Three more paragraphs.  Ugh.  I was getting all ready to shave for Sketching Class on Saturday.  Now What Even Is The Point.  I could do it anyway.  I think I might!  Because I'm a Great Guy! 
    Ok.  That's good.  I guess!  Vermouth.  Gin.  Virgin.  Now I get it.  Gin is probably in my top 10 liquors!  But I must warn you after the top 8 or 9 I Really Don't Care About The Rest Of The Top Ten Too Much!  Hmm.  The internet says there are only six primary liquors.  Good.  Here's my ranking of them-- 6) Brandy 5) Gin 4) Tequila 3) Rum 2) Vodka 1) Whiskey.  HAMAZING.  I haven't had any of that in a while.  I can't remember the last time I had ANY hard liquor now that I think about it!  DANGIT. I WANNA DO SOME DRINKING.  Anyone wanna drink with me?  I don't know if I've ever in the history of this website explicitly asked for companionship but I'm Doing It Now and Specifically For People To Drink Tequila With.  It's something we should do before we're too old.  Okay.  Whatever.  Tim Walz is a sober individual.  He had some Drunk Driving incident and then he's been sober the last 29 years.  What The Hell!  Good For Him!  I'll hang out with him without drinks!  Everyone else, Only Drinking.  Sober People, drinking is optional!
   Penultimate paragraph.  Do they have non-alcoholic Vodka?  They have Mocktails.  I know that phrase!  YEP. Mocktails can be made to taste like alcohol.  GREAT.  I guess.  I like alcohol because Hey Remember Having Friends To Drink Alcohol WITH?  Vaguely!  Not really! But it rings SOME sort of distant bell!  Whatever!  This week was really not that great at all At The Ol' Website Hole.  But it coulda been worse!  I could have written the entire thing in Sanskrit.  You would have had to choose betweeen not reading it or going through an entire process of trying to translate it!  What a hassle!  Comic Sanskrit.  Is that a thing.  I'm leaning towards No.  I may never have to write Stand Up Comedy again!  Whew.  It was fun when I was able to but When I Wasn't Able To... it wasn't!  Yep that makes sense.  I believe The Americans are winning The Olympics.  What does the country who wins the Olympics GET.  Gotta be SOMETHING.  We get to Keep On Keeping On.  We were gonna do that anyway!  Don't be so sure.  Okay.  I don't know what that means.
   Last paragraph.  Sweet!  I see France is in Fourth in Gold Medals and Third in Total Medals.  Did they go out of their way to Do Good this time because they're hosting?  Cause France isn't really a, "Top Five," Country in general.  It's OKAY.  It's in the top THIRTY I guess.  But c'mon!  They can't have THAT many good sportsmen on an Every Two Year basis!  Is gold a metal.  If I erroneously referred to them as being in Fourth in Gold Metals would I be Not Entirely Wrong?  I dunno!  YES.  Gold, Silver, and Bronze ARE ALL METALS.  You can swap out the word, "Medal," for, "Metal," and people might think you're dumb but the jokes on them because you're still technically right!  Wonderful!  Anyway.  Better have a good weekend.  I was thinking Towards Myself, but You Should As Well.  I normally only think of You Enjoying Yourself As Far As I Have An Impact On It, but ya know what?  JUST HAVE A GOOD LIFE IN GENERAL.  Even when I'm Not Around Or Involved In It!  Why not.  You deserve it!  So that's good.  I'll see ya next week!

-4:33 P.M. 

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

That's A Good Sign

    Hi Friends!  Time for some Wednesdayness.  Just got Chinese Food an hour ago and I am not happy with the signature I gave on their copy of the receipt.  I really phoned it in!  Not sure I was even trying to sign my name.  I think I went into it with the goal of just producing some squiggles!  Ah well.  Got my food in exchange nonetheless!  I think I got the food in exchange for promising them money.  Not for the signature itself.  My signature is not worth money as of today.  Or tomorrow!  Or ever!  I say it's a possibility I become a respected public figure, but by the time that happens, society will have course corrected and decided Signatures Are Worthless by then.  By the time I'm a celebrity No One Will Care About Signatures!  Cool!  Liked me some Democratic Ticket speeches yesterday!  Kamala was great!  Walz was nice!  I did NOT like how when Kamala was talking Walz kept creeping up close and closer to her.  He started out standing to her Stage Right.  But he kept inching nearer and nearer to her so by the end of her speech he was standing behind her.  Really ruined the play for me.  Took me out of the moment entirely.  But then he gave a nice speech and redeemed hismelf so that's good!
   Anyway.  That paragraph sucked.  Let's forget it completely.  Not carry it around with us the rest of our lives!  I wasn't planning on it already.  Sweet!  Watched current brand new horror movie Tarot over the weekend featuring Spiderman's Friend Ned!  It was ok.  It wasn't great but they did their best.  Kept mispronouncing Tarot thoguh.  It's supposed to rhyme with Carrot.  I dunno.  That's just a joke.  They DID keep mispronouncing Tarot, though!  It's supposed to rhyme with Ross Perot.  That's THE TRUTH.  I dunno.  Let's bring Ross Perot back to life and make him endorse someone for president.  People wanna know what that weirdo thinks!  He'd probably just run for president again as a zombie.  Anyway He's a weirdo!  Weirdoes are having a, "Moment," in politics these days but I feel like he was one of the original weirdoes Based On Not Much.  I was TOO YOUNG to absorb The Presdiential Campaigns of Ross Perot in the 1990's but I'm pretty sure he LOOKED weird and that's WEIRD ENOUGH FOR ME.  Internet says he was 5'5.  Dude had some big ears.  Why did he choose to be this way!
   Ok.  Kamala Harris and Tim Walz seem like a match made in heaven what with their Smiles And Jokings but WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE MOOD SOURS.  At some point THE LAUGHTER STOPS and I wanna know if they're prepared to face the dark night.  Hmm.  Anyway.  I just hope Walz doesn't steal too much of Harris' thunder!  All of a sudden it's THE TIM WALZ SHOW.  Kamala must be SEETHING.  She's GOUING OUT OF HER MIND ANGRY over this.  Let's get the tabloids working on that!  Gotta work on something.  If you're in the Olympics I assume you're not allowed to take Steroids but you are allowed to drink Tab.  Tabloids... ... I'm SORRY were you expecting BETTER FROM ME?  Cause THAT'S ON YOU!  Anyway I finished The Whale last night.  What a tearjerker!  Not sure about that compound word!  I don't feel like my tears are being jerked out of my eye sockets physiologically but I guess someone felt that was the best way to phrase things!  Ah, well!  Speaking of Teachers, my Dad got a call from one of the two Community Colleges he used to teach at-- the one that's 10 minutes from our house-- saying they got lots of classes going on upcoming semester so they're calling Previous Timey Adjuncts seeing if they're interested in coming back.  And my Dad May Be interested!  He's concerned about Covid health risks cause of his advanced age and being immunocompromised.  Otherwise he would jump at the chance to make a triumphant return to teaching.  But we'll see!
   I think he'd enjoy it.  He's gettin' up there in age even without the Covid Stuff but I've had teachers older than he is!  So that's good.  I'd guess maybe 25-33% chance he takes 'em up on their offer.  My Mom is against it.  But I'M for it.  My mom holds more sway than I do.  Because I'm an idiot!  Anyway.  Let's see.  I was listening to some of the music I recorded earlier this year and it's not that bad!  It's not SONGS.  Just little bits and pieces of incomplete morsels.  But some of it is kind of pleasurable for me to listen to in retrospect.  I ASSUME it's actually me playing the music and not some sort of Fake Music.  I'm gonna TAKE FOR GRANTED that what I'm listening to is WHAT I RECORDED.  And not something THE GOVERNMENT concocted POSSIBLY WITH AI to CONFUSE MYSELF.  No way of saying for certain cause Who Can Remember.  I couldn't even remember Right After I Recorded It.  I record a few tracks, mix em over each other, upload it to my computer, then listen back?  I CANNOT TELL YOU FOR SURE if I'm listening to what I just recorded or not!  I DON'T REMEMBER!
    Fifth paragraph.  So that's what it's like to listen to myself make music.  That MIGHT be me.  PROBABLY is.  It'd be TOO MUCH WORK for Conspiracy Doers for it to not be!  What would the exact point be!  Anyway.  It's enough of a conspiracy for Me To Make Myself Make Music.  That IN AND OF ITSELF is a conspiracy.  How do I MANAGE to pull my Mind and Physical Dexterity Strings to Make The Music Myself!  THAT'S the conspiracy!  I dunno I DON'T.  Been a while since I wrote a song.  Last song I wrote was probably in 2022.  That's Ages ago!  And if it's less than 2 minutes long IS IT REALLY A SONG?  Let's get some scholars or experts working on that one.  IF they have enough time.  They're probably busy working on much more importnat things.  Scholastic Things!  Expertise Things!  Hmm.  Whatever!  If I buy the Harris Walz t-shirt, they're telling me it won't be ready until September.  THE ELECTION WILL BE OVER BY THEN.  I don't remember when elections are held but I think it's pretty safe to say it's before September!  I don't like it.
   Anyway.  Why is that a joke.  I don't get it.  Ah well.  That's why I'm recording this music IN THE FIRST PLACE!  Because I'm Not Gonna Remember It.  If I have impeccable Memory then recording is unnecessary.  I ain't SHARING it with anyone or anything.  Except for THE GOVERNMENT.  Them spy agencies and whatknot.  But that's just a tangential effect.  I don't GO INTO uploading recorded music to my computer with the express purpose of sharing it with the FBI.  That's not something I PERSONALLY care about!  Hmm.  What else.  There's nothing wrong with the FBI for spying on my WAV files.  What if Bin Laden's #2 is in there!  Can't risk Not Checking It Out!  I hope there's a Blue WAV in the elections this year which I assume are the penultimate week of August.  Blue waves are more common than red waves.  Waves are usually water!  Water is usually blue!  We have a natural advantage in this scenario!  So that's good.  I think Blue WAV is the name of one of Some Famous Celebrity Couple's kids?  That's not quite accurate!  What am I Thinking Of!
    Seventh paragraph.  If I have a kid I'm gonna name them I'm Allowed To Vote 2,000 Times so that technically they HAVE to allow them to vote that many times once they turn 18!  Then just HOPE they grow up to be a Democrat.  Sorry.  Tim Walz' kid is named HOPE because they had HOPED the IVF would take.  His other kid is named Gus. ...Because....  Hmm.  Solid name.  Unassuming.  No airs about it.  Kind of EVIL.  I can imagine GUS being a name THE DEVIL assumes for himself when he walks amongst us In Human Form.  I'm not saying Gus Walz is the devil.  I'm just saying that the Devil might call himself Gus as well.  The name works for Good People, too!  Just like how Hope could be an evil name, too!  Most names could be Good Or Evil or Neutral.  Ugh.  Pretty sure I'm Writing Everything On Crazysheet For Real.  I look back on Entries and I don't read any bits where I think Wait did I Really Write That?  Everything All Rangs True To Me!  Sometimes I listen to my music though and WONDER.  Anyway.  It's probably me!  Let's give me and everyone else the benefit of the doubt!
   Three paragraphss to go.  I think Walz and Harris already spoke today!  Oh well.  I just looked it up and saw CLIPS.  Apparently Walz walked out to Born To Run by your friend and mine Bruce Springsteen.  I assume his outro music will be Born This Way by your friend and mine Lady Gaga.  I think the, "Run," part was the Punning, not the, "Born."  Maybe he thinks he's the reincarnation of Jason Bourne and that's what this campaign is about!  Hard to say exactly!  Wait waht did Kamala enter to.  Oh.  Right.  Freedom by our mutual friend Beyonce.  Well WHERE'S THE PUN IN THAT.  I dunno but if it gets her hyped that's all that matters!  Better LURQ the lyrics.  Maybe there's puns in the lyrics.  There's one line where Beyonce says I've Been Runnin'.  Great!  Runnin'!  That's what your VP candidate was explicitly doing as well!  SYNERGY!  Or something.  More or less.  Anyway!  I watched most of the HBOMAX documentary of Little Steven.  Whatever that guy's name is.  Silvio from The Sopranos and Friend and Compatriot to Bruce Springsteen.  Not sure WHY I had to watch this.  He's not an exceptional musician!  He's an okay actor!  But there's nothing EXTRAORDINARY about him.  Why kick a man while he's down.  he's not down.  He's up!  Just got a nice puff piece released about him.  Why kick a man while he's up.  I'm not kicking him. I like him!  I just don't think he's The Best At Anything!  He's Just Okay!  I dunno sounds kinda Kicky.
    Penultimate paragraph.  Anyone with, "Little," in their name sounds like a natural Ally to me!  I don't think he's that little, though.  Probably like 5'8!  Internet says 5'7!  Been downgraded!  Anyway! I don't like today's entry at all.  I don't like this WEEKSWORTH of entry at all!  But the world ain't all that bad!  Huh.  I dunno.  You can't spell, "Synergy," without almost, "Energy," and, "Sin!"  Neither is quite in there but practically for all intents and purposes!  Speaking of SIN and THE DEVIL maybe I SHOULD BECOME EVIL? wait no that's not what I was gonna say what I was gonna say was Maybe I Should Watch The Exorcist tonight.  But I already said Maybe I Should Watch The Exorcist Soon recently.  Last week or the week before.  So if I said it again Right Now it'd be repetitive!  So I'm Not Gonna Do That!  Ugh.  What a piece of shit I am.  Ain't writing anything good. GOVERNMENT, AI THIS PIECE OF POO UP!  I won't say anything!  Just turn all this crap into good stuff that kinda sounds like what other people imagine I might sound like in an mostly ideal world!  DO YER THING.
    Last paragraph.  Hmm.  You don't NEED to use AI to make this entry better within seconds.  Maybe you got John Nash or something on payroll.  John Nash could write a funny entry in my voice!  THAT DUDE GOT A BEATUIFUL MIND.  Mwah!  Chef's Kiss!  Anyway.  If we're getting a Gladiator II I think we should get A Beautiful Mind II as well.  Both were critically acclaimed Russell Crowe movies from the same 2000-2001 period.  Is John Nash still crazy?  I HOPE HE'S CRAZIER.  For our entertainmentsake.  Hmm.  Maybe you got Kevin Nash on payroll.  That dude can powerbomb me into oblivion!  That can't be the accurate phrase for his finishing Wrestling Move.  Lemme LTURQ.  Nope.  That's it.  The Powerbomb!  Good!  I'm glad!  Huh.  Tomorrow.  That'll be a good entry.  I Like Those Odds!  Is your life better now that you read this entry?  Is it worse?  PERSONALLY my life is better.  I don't like anything I said but it's a Bulk Business.  We deal with Quantities not Qualities in this Sector of the economy.  SO that's good!  I'll see ya tomorrow.

-4:58 P.M.   
     
    

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

That's Not The Worst Title That Ever Happened To Me

    Hey!  Got some entry coming up!  Had a Psychiatry appointment earlier today.  Starting to decrease dosage on one of my anti-depressants with the goal of stopping it completely!  WOW.  Now I'm gonna be on only ONE anti-depressant!  And only THREE OR FOUR Mind Altering Prescription Drugs Altogether!  I'm not depressed at all these days.  I can't remember the last time I felt I was going through depression.  It's a very distant memory!  I got lots of other mental problems but Being Sad isn't one of them!  Doctor keeps trying to guilt trip me for consuming beer and marijuana.  Today she was really leaning into stressing how bad a person I am for drinking 8 beers a week.  I do so very responsibly and also get the fuck out of my life!  I heard you the first time!  Anyway.  Maybe if I was 15 years old that would be welcome commentary.  But not as an adult!  Whatevs.  Maybe if I was 15 years old, "Whatevs," would be an acceptable phrase to use.  But not as an adult!  Looks like Harris is going with Walz as VP!  YES.  I wonder how long I'm gonna have to remember the name Tim Walz.  Three months?  Four and a half years?  Nine years?  Thirteen Years?  FOREVER?  HUGE range of possibilities of Just How Much Tim Walz Are WE In Store For Exactly Now. 
    My vote is for Forever.  He's VP for 8 years, then I dunno what happens, but He Accomplishes Enough History that He Goes Into The Books FOREVER.  Hooray.  Dude was a High School Social Studies Teacher.  Back when I Was A Real Person, that's EXACTLY what I was in school for originally before I switched schools!  If I ever decide that I Should Become A Real Person I might be able to slide back into that Track again!  Why not.  I'd need to go back to school for 2 or 3 years but it's doable!  I started watching The Whale last night.  That dude's a teacher!  If that fat slob can be a teacher then surely I can.  Also if I'm around Youth then I can take over their POWER.  Their ENERGY becomes mine if I play my cards right.  I can usurp their LIFE FORCE just by teaching 5 or 6 classes a day!  Whatevs.  WHAT?  EVS?  That's good for electric cars!  Or IS electric cars!  Or something!  Was talking to my Mom and it looks like we're on the same page-- gonna donate 20 or so dollars to the Harris campaign.  The exact amount may depend on What I Get In Return.  Maybe if I donate 25 dollars I get some sort of Coffee Mug in return!  I might do that in that case.  I've been drinking coffee out of my hands like a chump! 
   Wow.  Donating is ONE PAGE on KamalaHarris.Com and Store is ANOTEHR page. I guess I might just BUY something.  Then I can't tell people I donated though.  Oh well.  There goes that Conversation Starter.  These coffee mugs and t-shirts aren't the best designs.  Not AWFUL.  But not EXCEPTIONAL either.  Gotta get some AI working on their Store Products.  AI could do better than this!  Wait a second I don't like AI.  I'm not a proponent of AI.  ALL I KNOW is that AI can produce 5 out of 10 designs for things AND THESE ARE 4 OUT OF TENS.  YOU DO THE MATH.  I can buy a Harris Walz t-shirt for 32 dollars.  That might risk me getting stabbed in the wrong neighborhood though.  I risk MYSELF getting stabbed in the wrong neighborhood, though!  I just got one of those faces!  Whatevs.  I like how Walz seems to Like Doing Things.  I like it when positive things happen!  Even more than when Just Nothing Happens!  Maybe that's a sign for how Harris Administrion might do things.  Wha.  WHA?  Go out of your way to do good things?  It could happen! 
   That seems to track with Harris's's book.  She seems to like to do things often on occasion In Her Career per my understanding!  It's hard to say how much of it is to advance her political career and how much of it is Just To Do Some Good Stuff Cuz Why Not.  But either way it's the same result!  She seems like a pretty genuine person.  I READ THE BOOK.  I GOT THE INSIDE INFO.  TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.  What are the odds She Didn't Write Her Book.  I dunno.  Between 20 and 80%.  I don't know how these things work!  I've been assuming she wrote her book but maybe I'm a rube!  I don't even know if Kathleen Hanna or Dave Grohl wrote their books!  I've been doing a whole lot of Assuming!  Anyway.  If there's ghostwriters I gotta Dump The Public Figures I've been idolizing and just start looking up towrads the ghostwriters.  Find out THEIR names and THEIR stories.  Them Ghost Writers I've Been Reading really got it all figured out!  What's going on again.  There was a TV Show for kids called Ghostwriter when I was a kid about a GHOST that writes things??? A Ghost that writes things helps Teenagers Solve Crimes.  Per the internet.  And anyway, for some reason they showed it to us IN SCHOOL pretty often.  Like, if there was nothing else to do, in 3-5th grade, that was considered educational programming.  It WASN'T.  But they counted it as Educational for some reason!  I LEARNT NOTHING.    
    Okay.  What a Shitty Entry!  Good!  August Sixth!  Looks like I'll still be writing here while Kamala is speaking in fifty minutes.  That's okay!  We all have to make sacrifices for our Art!  All us artists at least!  People who don't create Art don't!  I could take a break to watch her talk.  I dunno!  Guess I'll re-assess the situation when the time comes.  Hmm how tall is Tim Walz.  Dude is probably like six foot one.  What an asshole.  Better LTURQ.  Huh.  Reddit thread from 3 years ago seems to suggest he's around six feet tall.  That's okay!  He didn't CHOOSE to be that tall.  It was a misfortune of birth!  And SO WHAT if he did choose it.  Different Strokes for Different Walz!  Looks like there's an ongoing joke going back to at least 3 years ago about how he's a Super Human and is Capable of Anything and Whatknot.  We used to make jokes like that about Chuck Norris when I was a kid.  Not a We that includes Me.  I would never!  But Internet Culture used to make those kinda jokes and I OBSERVED FROM A DISTANCE.
   Halfway through the entry!  Got a roast beef sandwich from Sudway for dinner.  With some chips!  From Sudway!  Should be quite the experience!  Wait a second.  Kamala.  The Wilco song, "Kamera."  Lotta overlap with those letters.  Gonna have to look into that one.  Unfortunately yuo can't do a Parody Song because it a different amount of syllables and they're pronounced differently.  So it doesn't even work out great that way.  But it's still something we should keep an eye on!  I need a Kamala.  To My Eye.  Nope doesn't work.  Is the word, "Camera," two or three syllables.  Probably three if you're pronouncing it like a GENTLEMAN.  But I'd venture to guess 4 out of 5 times the word Camera is breathed, it's just CAM-RA.  Sounds like a Godzilla villain.  It's a Gremlins villain!  Bright Light from a Camera Flash gonna at best discombobulate and at worst KILL your Gremlin!  You don't wanna KILL Gremlins.  They're generally BAD but they're just ANIMALS ACTING OUT THEIR NATURE.  Anyway.  A lot of people are gonna say that Doug Emhoff might be the First Gentleman in January but SURELY there were gentlemen before him!  WE'VE HAD THE PHRASE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS.  You're telling me NO ONE was a gentleman before him?  Ugh.
    Seventh paragraph.  I like Doug Emhoff's name.  The last name sounds vaguely threatening/dismissive in a fun way.  YOU CAN FUCK THE RIGHT EMHOFF.  I didn't phrase that joke perfectly but you get the idea.  Homework assignment-- PHRASE THE JOKE PERFECTLY.  You can do it!  Spend 20 minutes on it!  It's doable!  Maybe all you need is 20 seconds!  Anyway.  Kathleen Hanna likes Adam Horovitz.  Kamala Harris likes Doug Emhoff.  The Ladies I Read Books By certainly have a type!  Goofy Jewish Guys!  I'm gonna call them both Goofy for simplicities sake.  It may not be entirely accurate.  I'm trying to make a larger point!  I don't know what it is!  Anyway.  They don't LIKE those men.  They LOVE them.  They're MARRIED To them.  The way I tell it its like they have a crush on them.  They're pretty much ALL IN as much as you can be with their respective Goof Jews!  Sweet.  I hope it works out to the best!  How come Jews gotta be Goofy.  What, we're here to Goofmuse you?  Yeah!  Oh good I'm on board with that because I have no real self esteem. 
    Three paragraphs to go.  Amazing!  At this rate I guess I'll take a break to watch Kamala speak.  Why not.  Anyways.  We also watched The Magic School Bus for educational program in Late Elementary School but at least that TRIED to teach us things.  About the circulatory system or the solar system or... mainly different kinds of Systems!  I think it's pretty impressive that The blood in our bodies is called The Circulatory System.  Surely there's SO MANY popular and common Systems of Circulation out there in The Natural World but THIS ONE is THE Circulatory System.  The Blood System.  In Humans and/or Animals.  WOW.  They must have a good PR Man!  OR WOMAN!  IT'S 2024!  Anything's possible!  Huh.  I've been alerted Kamala is speaking at Temple University and My second cousin attended Temple University as did BILL COSBY and it's possible they attended at the same time.  I was only  alerted explicitly the first part of that story Just Now but it jogged a previous memory of me being told They Attended At The Same Time Possibly.  Anyway.  No account of Rape or anything from my Mom's Cousin on Bill Cosby's account!  Not even Date Rape!  He was on his BEST BEHAVIOR I suppose!
    Penultimate paragraph!  What else is going on and crap.  I dunno when Kamala is speaking.  At first I thought it was in 10 minutes but now I'm not so sure!  I guess I'll just keep writing here.  Anyway.  Maybe either get Harris Walz SHIRT or just DONATE to her campaign.  I don't need a mug.  Unless we're talking about Mug Root beer.  Then I need 2 or 3 2 liter bottles a week!  If I could get cream soda I'd probably alternate each week with that but I CAN'T.  Ugh.  Is anyone else a little scared of the dog in the Mug Soda Logo?  Kind of a threatening dog!  I just looked it up.  Wasn't as aggressive a dog as I pictured at first.  A little intense but not so bad.  I'm probably gonna cross the street if I encounter this dog on a walk but I'm not gonna lose my mind with fear!  Hmm.  What else do I got going on for me.  Tomorrow Is Going To Happen and It's Going To Be Better Than Today!  You're gonna forget all about today's shitty entry after tomorrow's slightly better entry!  Today isn't even gonna be a distant memory.  It will be completely lost!  No one's gonna remember this at all!  Makes it all worthwhile don't ya think.
    Last paragraph!  Love it.  What else is going on.  I assume Dave Grohl also fell head over heels for some Dopey Jewish Guy.  We've all been there! Not me. I AM ONE.  The appeal is completely lost on me because I Am Me.  I have no desire for Any More Extra Of That Nonsense.  I get way more than enough of it At Home In My Own Body And Mind!  I don't mean to equate myself with Adam Horovitz or Doug Emhoff.  I'm sure they're Way More Attractive And Engaging Jews For Women Than I Ever Will Be.  I'M JUST SAYIN that I don't need any of what they got to offer is all.  Anyway.  So I got that going on!  Let's see.  Probably should sign up for Saturday Sketch Comedy Class.  Just do it!  Why not.  I signed up for a UCB Sketch Class in 2011-2015 at some point.  Maybe attended 1 or 2 sessions.  I forget how it went!  Obviously wasn't in the right head space then!  I think it was ON ME and not ON THEM for Why It Didn't Work Out Then.  Either way time to give it another shot.  I imagine taking half a gummy right before leaving for the class.  So I sober up KIND OF as the class starts?  But also am still a little Calm Downed High?  Just a thought I'm entertaining!  Anyway I'M DONE.  See ya tomorrow and shit!  Later!

-5:35 P.M. 

Monday, August 5, 2024

Make Yourself At Home

    Hi, friends!  The month of August is upon us!  Did everyone enjoy their week off from the website?  I skipped writing last week!  What did we accomplish as a society in lieu of Me Doing This.  Kamala Harris Campaign progressed on.  The movie, TV, and music releases that were planned to be released WERE released.  The stock market CRASHED a few percentage points.  I dunno about that!  Doesn't sit well with me!  Get it together, stock market!  I don't have any money in the stock market but I'm sure my parents do.  Not a lot!  Just a bit.  In PREMIUMS. INDEXES.  PORTFOLIOS.  That sort of thing.  I've got some skin in the game is the point!  Just STOP decreasing in value.  How hard is that?  It's in your best interest to INCREASE in value.  DUH.  This is kind of a no brainer!  Looks like we may get a Vice Presidential Pick tomorrow.  I'm rooting against Shapiro because he sends the wrong message on Israel/Gaza!  BUT if Kamala picks him and then goes out of her way to be Strong On The Issue anyway that solves that problem!  Give a speech saying I know you're concerned about This GAZA stuff, well lemme tell you what's what... and then comes out strong like that?  THAT'D be cool.  I'm writing Near Future Political News Fan Fiction.  GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.
   Still would prefer WALZ!  I read it's down to Walz and Shaprio.  I'm a big proponent of WALZ.  Mainly cause it brings back memories of Facebook Walls.  That's how people Were Friends when I was in college.  Got to know each other on Facebook.  On our, "Walls."  Right?  That's what you called your Facebook Page.  Your Wall?  Or am I having some sort of stroke right now.  I can't remember.  WHERE'S WALZDO.  They can make that pun when Walz is the VP and he's Famously Not Around Too Much.  These jokes practically write themselves!  First we need to have that be the factual case. But once we decide that to be our reality THEN The Jokes Practically Write Themselves.  In her book Kamala is explicitly ANTI-Walls at the border.  The southern border.  Here we got another Walz at the Northern Border, though!  Minnesota is at the Northern border per my understanding of how our geography works!  No way is there a state above Minnesota! I won't even consider it!  Shapiro might also just be One Jew Too Many!  Her husband is already Jewish.  Do we need ANOTHER Jew in there?  I'm Jewish and even I am a little uncomfortable with that!  Maybe I'm not really Jewish.  Interesting Counterpoint!  At the very least I've probably been brainwashed by anti-Semitism!  Good!  Now I can relate to the Average American!  [Editor's Note-- Don't Take My Terrible Walz Puns as a sign that Kamala shouldn't pick Walz.  Don't PUNISH AMERICA for MY Mistakes!]
    At what point do we stop calling her Kamala and start calling her Harris.  Is it once/if she becomes president?  She's gonna be, "President Harris" most of the time, right?  That'd be my assumption.  Can't call her Kamala forever!  Anyway.  President Elect Harris, certainly, too.  Honestly I think we should quit with the Kamala stuff now.  It's a nice, endearing name and it's fun to say but WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE.  We go by Last Names In The Real World!  I guess.  The Artist Formally Known As Kamala.  That's if she doesn't like the name Harris.  Gotta work around her personal preference!  Hmm.  Kamala did some stuff in her life!  Mostly as Attorney General of California!  Did some important stuff with the banks and mortgages Post Housing Crisis.  Did some stuff with Gay Marriage.  Did some smaller stuff that wasn't national news but I was impressed with.  Anyway!  When they pluralize Attorney General she says Attorneys General.  Fuck That Shit!  Attorney Generals would be my first instinct.  And you should always go with your first instinct!  Who even KNOWS if you'll even HAVE a second instinct.  We can't operate in WISHFUL DREAMING LAND!
   I finished my Stand Up class!  Had the show last Saturday evening!  Did it over Zoom and there were about 20 or 25 audience members on a Youtube Link.  I just told my dumb jokes that I had written for Class #2 or 3.  I SAY I DID I SOLID B-!  Not like a Comedian B-.  But a Comedy Class Taker B-.  If the teacher was giving everyone grades honestly for how well they did I would get a B- and I'd be like HEY THAT'S NOT SO BAD I GUESS!  Not good!  But when you take into account how little I liked what I did, B- isn't a terrible grade to receive from Outside Myself!  A B- SOUNDS bad.  It's certainly NOT IN THE RANGE OF GOOD.  But when you think aobut it, a C+ is kind of average.  AND A B- IS CLEARLY HIGHER THAN A C+!!!  That's how I approach How My Show Went.  Hmm.  It was recorded for posterity but I haven't seen it yet.  If I can download it and save it I will!  But ideally I will never have to watch it.  I also added Kamala Harris impression at the end of the set.  That was my, "Closer!"  I have no idea what I'm doing.  Maybe it was 5% Almost Really Trying to sound like Vice President Harris.  But mostly it was just Me Talking.  Maybe 25% Generic Politician Voice.  I DON'T LIKE THE BIT but the teacher encouraged me to do it in previous class so I DID IT.  YEAH.
   Probably sign up for Sketch Comedy Class that starts this Saturday evening but I haven't signed up for it yet because I'm not that enthusiastic about it so we'll see!  Ugh.  Anyway!  Watched TRAP yesterday and DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE the weekend before that!  I liked both those films a lot!  What more can I say.  I like Movies!  The more I reflect on Deadpool * Wolverine the more I like it.  I haven't had time to reflect on Trap that much yet but I started out liking it so we'll see if there's any room for upward momentum or what or I dunno!  Anyway.  I'm wearing socks today!  I was told TICS are on the loose these days so I better SOCK UP to protect my feet!  Sounds reasonable.  Been watching VEEP the last 2 or so days.  Good deal.  It's a nice down to Earth show about real people doing real things and the mishaps they get into!  It'd be weird to have a MAN Vice President in January which we're almost assured of!  Wow!  The more things change the more they... well, change, that's the point I started out trying to make with this sentence, so let's stick with that.
    Are men even COMFORTABLE being a Veep?  Seems kinda BETA-eqsue Energy.  Not sure Modern Man would be comfortable in that kind of role!  Either be president or NOTHIN.  Anything in-between is just demeaning!  Unless you're a woman.  Do woman have their own parallel Greek Groupings.  They can't.  There's no OTHER Greek word for Alpha.  Maybe Ladies can have Latin words.  Lemme consult the internet.  An Alpha Woman is known as a A.  Oh.  Right.  It's Just The Alphabet.  WOMEN, AM I RIGHT?  What is this, the fifth or sixth paragraph?  Sixth.  GREAT.  It's not a good entry but You Can't Argue With How Much Of It Already Exists!  Anyway.  I'm clearly not an Alpha Male and I'm pretty sure I'm not a Beta Male.  CAN I BE the Omega Man?  What other options are out there for me exactly.  EPSILON sounds pretty promising.  I just googled it and the internet says Epsilon Man is literally THE WEAKEST OF THEM ALL.  GOD DAMN IT.  ME AND MY BIG FAT GREEK MOUTH.  Anyway.  If I were a Beta I'd be THE ALPHA Beta.  I could see that being a possibility.  I AM THE ALPHABET.
    Seventh paragraph.  It's a tough job but somebody's gotta do it!  I've had an itchy taint for a while.  At least 2 or 3 months.  That's a little Inside Baseball for ya!  Lots of horror movies coming up this season.  There were like seven trailers before TRAP and six of them were for Horror Films!  Most of them looked pretty decent!  It's good that we're getting Decent Films In Theaters but it's bad that We're Being Forced To Be Scared All The Time!  PRO-- Good Things.  BAD-- WE MUST BE AFRAID.  Fair compromise I guess when it comes down to it though!  I've been thinking about Movie Idea the last week or so!  Same amorphous movie that changes what it's about slightly from day-to-day.  It's 50% the same thing today as it was a week ago.  But WHO KNOWS maybe I work on a Film Script at some point if I ever learn Discipline and Hard Work.  I have the basic skills required to write a Shitty Script!  Anyway.  I'm 35 going on 36 in a few months BUT if I were to be in my movie WHAT AGE would I play.  I think probably upper 20's!  I should ask someone I don't know very well How Old They Think I Am.  Maybe I'm only fooling myself and everyone knows I'm An Old Man.  BUT IMO I'm 10 years younger than I am! 
    If it happens in the movie IT'S AS GOOD AS TRUE!  YES!  Some versions of this film call for a mid 30's Year Old.  Some call for someone in their upper 20's.  Some call for College Aged Olds!  So WHATEVER.  Let's see.  I can deal with a double dose of Jew surrounding Kamala Harris.  Most people probably can!  Unless they're hinted to subtly or overtly that they shouldn't like it!  Then they might not like it!  I can't control Anti-Semitism!  Seems like something I should be on top of.  Anyway.  Gotta get some batteries on my next walk when this is over.  Dad got some COUPON for some free batteries for some reason.  Gotta go to drug store and presumably they'll ACCEPT this coupon!  We're talkin Duracell. Double A.  Up to 20 dollars for a single pack.  Should be good!  I think Double A are your standard Go To batteries.  Everyone loves some Double A.  Triple A is next.  Then those ones that are rectangular prisms... who knows what those are!  Anyway.  I'd never survive in DC!  (Washington).  They'd make fun of my height once and then That'd Be It!  I'd be Done For!  No More Michael!  Career would be over before it started.
   Penultimate paragraph.  UNLESS I get one of those jobs where they can't make fun of you.  They don't make fun of VEEP for instance.  Not to her face!  What sort of entry level DC job can you get where Mocking is off limits.  Hmm.  It'd still hurt my career if they just belittle me behind my back.  Ah well.  That's Democracy for ya!  Trying out a new brand of Gummies.  The new flavor of the new brand is sold as CALM.  This is gonna CALM YA DOWN.  And ya know what?  It delivered!  It's a pretty Un-intense high!  But still high!  And pretty calming!  I liked it!  WHATEVER.  Me, Me, Me. Why is it always all about me!  Cause that's all the only reference point I know.  Ah. Okay, then!  Only thing I didn't find believable in TRAP is that they refer to Josh Hartnett's character's age as mid 30's.  This actor is a decade older than that!  Well I dunno I should like it, then that tracks with Me Saying I'm A Decade Younger Than Me In My Movie.  Great!  I've done a complete 1070 on this!  That can't be a relevant amount of degrees.
    Alright.  One more paragraph!  Another piece of poo for you to waste your time with!  Hope you enjoyed it you dolt.  The main way I'm trying to flesh out movie I'm thinking of writing is by picturing Potential Trailer.  And the main way I picture Potential Trailer is by picturing potential song which plays over Potential Trailer.  So basically I've been listening to music is what I'm trying to say with this story!  But WITH PURPOSE.  So that's good.  Anyway.  I think we all did about the same in Stand Up Comedy Class.  We ranged from C+ to A-'s!  I'd say the strongest performer was the Old Lady!  One person in the class was a lady who I wanna say is in her sixties and she pretty much surprisingly mostly knocked it out of the park I'd say.  The girl who I, "Gave 'Notes" to also did very strong.  Even though my notes sucked!  Everyone did at least as good as me more or less!  We All Were More Or Less Good Enough.  GREAT.  Actually the more I think about it the more I think MOST Of The Class Did Really Well.  AH WELL.  I was in the headspace to write some Stand Up Comedy Jokes two or three times over the course of the class.  But NO LONGER.  That frame of mind DID NOT PERSIST.  Maybe it will manifest again at some point but it's not where I'm at right now!  Anyway.  I'm done for today!  See ya tomorrow!  Hey today was horrible.  What the fuck.  Tomorrow should be good, though!  Probably!

-4:11 P.M.
   
    
         
   
 

Contact: mankindguy@gmail.com