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Monday, December 6, 2021 

These Things Happen All The Time

    Hey!  No binging this morning.  Off to a GREAT start to the day.  Totally regular healthy day!  Presumably.  Anyway got some Sprite going.  Ya'll know what that's like.  I feel like a Sprite is like a medieval legend type animal.  Like a fairy or goblin.  Better LTURQ.  YEP THEY ARE NAILED IT.  Well that's not interesting.  I said I thought something was A Fact and It Was.  Who cares!  The point is I guess Sprite The Soda Company has to pay royalties to Sprites The Mythical Creatures.  How would I like it if people named their products after ME?  I'd kind of like it!  All publicity is good publicity.  Not sure that's accurate.  Oh well that's life.  Anyway FAILED at shaving last night.  Oh well that's life.  HMM when I googled Sprite the Sprite Bottles with sugar are GREEN while the sprite bottles without sugar are WHITE.  I'm missing out on Green Soda.  Maybe I should try some Sugar Soda at some point.  Just as a reminder of what I'm missing out on.
     Wonderful.  I had a nightmare a night or two ago I was 90% into a walk and I realized I had no mask on.  Wasn't really a nightmare.  To be honest I kind of got a RUSH out of it.  HOLY CRAP I GOT AWAY WITH SOMETHING FUN.  That sort of thing.  But not completely!  Because I was still aware of the fact OH NO JUST MIGHT HAVE GOT THE COVID.  There's plusses and minuses to every dream situation.  The point is if you get Covid in a dream you get Covid in real life.  Anyway.  So far anything good in this entry?  I successfully knew what Sprites Were more or less.  Good for ME.  Useless for you.  But I'M a genius so that's good.  I assume Sprites' main enemies in fairy tales were Coca Cola Zeroes.  Hmm.  I think they're made by the same company in real life.  They'd be FRIENDS not enemies.  Maybe frenemies.  Fair enough!
     Watched about an hour more of The Beatles.  Almost done at this point.  Not looking forward to being done with it!  What a great complimentary way to augment my life This Doc Was.  Either way I bet at the end there's a title card that says THE BEATLES WILL RETURN IN... NEVER!!!  Just to drive that point home.  Anyway.  Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr can still team up and do stuff.  But they won't.  Because they're cruel hearted people who want to deprive us all of joy.  Also whenever it showed the writers of the song they were playing at the bottom I was like WHO THE HELL IS THIS STARKEY WHO KEEPS WRITING SONGS WITH THE BEATLES.  Took me until 85% into the documentary to realize that was Ringo Starr.  Spoiler alert.  Anyway also made some headway into Harry Potter II.  I'm IMPRESSED by how much the kids have grown in just one movie.  I knew they'd age over the franchise but I didn't know they'd age this quickly!  Must have been filmed during Springtimes.
    
Sure.  I feel like ordering Egg Whites every day of the week.  Pair that with a smaller sweet for breakfast ALL THE TIME.  Maybe not 7 days of the week.  But I feel like a pop tart and 2-3 eggs worth of egg whites is a delicious and nutritious breakfast every other morning!  Wasting a lot of money probably though getting those egg whites.  I could make them myself.  DO SOMETHING?  IN THE MORNING??  I don't even wanna do stuff in the afternoon or evenings!  Don't even get me started on doing stuff in the morning!  Hmm.  Also what do I do with the rest of the egg.  Throw it out?  I guess.  What else is going on.  Also Egg Whites Separate But Equal Is There A Joke There?  My guess?  YEP.  There's a solid D+/C- joke there for anybody who wants to try to do the best they can with it.  I envy them.  D+/C- might be overselling it.  If you do the best possible joke you can with that material you can reach a solid D+/D++ I feel.  But I mean a SOLID D+/D++.
    I feel like foregoing that joke I SURPASS what would be accomplished by a D++.  So I'm coming out on top in this scenario is the point.  What about an Artificial Sweetener Separate But Equal joke.  Or maybe I can just move on with my life.  Anyway.  Looks like AHMICRON is much more transmissible but less severe?  Normally I'd be like hey great.  But I live with an IMMUNOCOMPROMISED person.  Something that's more transmissible but less severe is a NET NEGATIVE for us I feel.  GREAT JUST GREAT.  THINGS MIGHT EFFECT ME FOR THE WORSE.  WHY OH WHY.  Anyway.  Thinking about doing Secret Drinking for birthday.  Get 2 or 3 single shot bottles with quarters and hide 'em in my pocket!  Break 'em out on Birthday Evening.  EVERYBODY WINS.  I feel guilty and ashamed but that's the price of doing business!  Also having to not reveal drunkenness to parents might be a hassle but that's the price of doing business!  I'm gonna pour coffee now!  Doing business!  Not sure this entry has had ANY redeeming qualities so far.  BUSINESS.
     Amazing.  Gil Hodges was finally elected to the Baseball Hall Of Fame!  I believe his statement to the press was I'M DEAD WHAT DO I CARE LEAVE ME ALONE.  What else is going on.  Got another good stuff for late afternoon and evening.  More Beatles and more Harris Potter!  The question is what do I do with other parts of afternoon.  Off the top of my head SOME WALKINGS.  I thought new routine I would cut down from 7 to 6 walks.  And that IS necessary half the time.  But the other half of the time it's actually EASIER to take 7 walks than it was before!  FASCINATING.  What else is going on.  How much is a single shot bottle.  I forget.  2.99?  3.99?  1.99?  .99?  Probably something along those lines.  Wonderful.  LOOK maybe just be honest with my parents and get two beers.  I would ENJOY IT MORE without the SECRECY.  OR WOULD I.  Hmm.  Anyway the point is I don't care and I forget but mostly I don't care.
    NO GOOD ENTRY SO FAR.  Still time to turn it around.  Not even 1/3rd into the entry yet.  SO MUCH TIME to turn it around.  Anyway it's finally a Real Monday.  It's been mostly Sundays since Thanksgiving but I feel that's over with at this point.  IT'S MY BIG BIRTHDAY WEEK.  What kind of grown person celebrates their birthday.  SOME GUY WHOSE 7x A GROWN PERSON AS ME.  CAUSE I CELEBRATE MY BRITHDAY MULTIPLIED BY SEVEN APPARENTLY.  Alright!  Sounds like fun.  Look I'm celebrating myself from the privacy of my own home and not bothering others at all.  Leave me alone!  If that's how I choose to live my life that's my BUSINESS.  Cool.  What else is going on.  I like how Harry Potter is treated with more respect by his Regular People Family this film as opposed to the first one.  Gotta imagine by the end of the franchise they'll be all good chums.  Which is a word I'm being told.  Huh.
    
Eighth paragraph!  Amazing!  I LIKE the dream where I take a walk without a mask.  It's like riding a roller coaster!  Sure 1 out of 10 times it crashes but that's why it's fun!  What else is going on.  Got ZOOM 10 minute maintenance therapy appointment on Thursday.  Great!  I can, "LIVE," with that!  I think it's great they had an MLB player lockdown on December 1st.  Look there's no games going on.  No players are clamoring to get into stadiums.  This is an EMPTY GESTURE.  Also I assume Lock Down just literally means they locked down the stadium.  And players specifically aren't allowed to come in.  Seems illegal.  You can't refuse someone entrance to your stadium just because of the color of their uniform.  Unless it's BLUE.  BLACK LIVES MATTER.  Blue means cops.  I wanna keep cops out of stadiums!  Unless they're there to crack down on the steps in the bleachers.  Then by all means check that out and report your concerns to your superior officers!
     Penultimate paragraph.  CRAPPY PARAGRAPH.  Crappy entry.  But we're not even halfway into it yet!  So much time to turn it around.  I think it's ironic that cops wear Blue when in actuality every other cop is a bad person.  Hmm.  Gonna have to look into that one.  Not sure what it means but that's writing for ya.  Harry Potter Writing has NAMES and TITLES where you're not sure what they mean but it sounds like something.  I write ENTIRE PARAGRAPHS where you're not sure what they mean and they DON'T sound like they mean something but somehow they actually might mean something by mistake!  GREAT WRITER.  Anyway is Billy Preston the fifth Beatle?  FOR NOW YES.  Maybe not over their entire career.  But for the purposes of this time period of 3 weeks YEP YOU COULD SAY THAT.  AMAZING.  That's the best job description you could have ever!  Being The Honorary Fifth Something!
     Wonderful.  LOOK I'll figure out decent stuff to do during the day.  Don't worry about me!  You probably weren't.  I was though.  This whole act in the back of my mind I've been worrying about what I'm gonna do during the day when I'm not walking.  THIS IS A NUT TO CRACK.  Most nuts are tough to crack.  For me at least.  Not a very good nut cracker!  Don't get much practice.  Don't eat a lot of nuts!  And don't crack nuts at all for other people to eat.  Let THEM take care of it!  LOOK if humans are having difficulty cracking nuts how are other animals doing it.  We've got opposable thumbs which are a big help.  None of them do!  THEY GOT SECRET OPPOSABLE THUMBS that's my guess.  More than two, too!  THEY'VE GOT SEVEN OR EIGHT.  Huh.  Also we have TOOLS.  That helps a lot on a nut by nut basis.  They have no tools.  Unless they're stealing our tools.  Hmm.  I'll be back in a little bit.

 

 

 

I Could Be The Only One Here

    Hello friends.  Didn't the title just imply I could be the only one here.  Yes but I choose to live my life with a lot of hypothetical and theoretical friends.  My body my choice!  I dunno I could get rid of a bunch of these imaginary friends.  Not doing me any good.  But we'll decide that on a imaginary friend-by-imaginary friend basis.  Anyway what else is going on.  Right now I have many options but I'm considering the best option is be like hey Parents I know you won't like it but I'm just gonna get 2 semi-large beers for the night.  Sorry!  That's It.  But I have DOZENS of options so we'll see how this shakes out!  OR I could get a coffee coollata from The Dunking Donuts.  That's the main other non-alcohol way to treat myself.  It's made out of sugar that's been infused with more sugar so that sounds like a great Birthday Treat.  WHAT A PARAGRAPH.  I AM GONNA HAVE A BIRTHDAY TREAT.  PEOPLE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF READING ABOUT THAT.
     It's a DIARY.
  Now I remember what I'm thinking about doing.  If I don't write about it in my diary how the hell am I supposed to remember.  Use memory glands in my brain.  That sounds like a hassle!  A LOT easier to just write it.  Anyway let's check the Patriotims Day Of The Food Patriotism.  National Gazpacho Day.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS COMMUNIST BULLSHIT.  They've infiltrated our National Food Days!  Website says Gazpacho comes from Spain.  Pretty sure it's Russia.  What am I thinking of.  Some other cold tomato soap.  Let's LTURQ.  Russia DOES make cold tomato soup.  But it's not Gazpacho.  And in Nazi Germany they have the Gestapo.  The point is I don't like ANY of this.  Spanish cold tomato soup, Russian Cold Tomato Soup, and Nazi Secret Police.  WHICH I HATE THE MOST.  Look tomato soup cold is very unpleasant but Nazi Secret Police is EASILY slightly worse.  Anyway what else is going on.  Is it possible we have a developing Secret Police in America?  Yep!  But so far they're so secret enough that we don't know about it.  WHEW THAT'S A RELIEF.  Also the non-secret police and other public authority agencies are doing a good job on their own being terrible.  WHEW THAT'S A RELIEF.
    
I feel like Secret Police would want it to be an Open Secret.  They want people to Kinda Know what's going on and be scared of it, but those in charge just shrug their shoulders and are like I Dunno About That Nothin To See There.  Anyway what else is going on.  Gonna have a nice early lunch today.  I can, "Dig," it!  DIG INTO IT maybe.  Delicious.  Maybe as I continue my evolving diet and exercise regimen I start to make a conscious effort to eat slightly healthier food.  Not ALL OUT.  But maybe just on a week by week basis, 15-25% healthier choices.  Not just calorie-wise.  But HEALTH-wise.  I dunno sounds like a scam.  Who can say for sure that protein is good for you and carbohydrates are bad.  Scientists.  Yes but if scientists are so smart how come they're working for the betterment of mankind.  Seems kinda stupid to me!  Anyone whose in the business of helping people is  probably some kind of chump.  Dumb chump!
     Penultimate paragraph of the act!  Amazing.  Scientists maybe get paid a lot.  Depends on the science!  Hmm.  Also my body is under the impression that sugar and chocolate are the best things someone can eat.  I dunno if I wanna start messing with that formula!  It's gotten me this far.  What else is going on.  The point is YES that would be a good smart reasonable and possible thing to do.  Maybe not as high as 25% healthier diet.  But 10-15% wouldn't be too tough a target to hit.  Considering how already unhealthy my food choices are.  Hmm.  Great paragraph.  GOTTA EAT HEALTHIER.  HILARIOUS.  PEOPLE ARE GONNA GET A KICK OUT OF THIS RIFF.  What else.  I'm not sure which riffs I'm worse at-- website comedy riffs or music guitar riffs.  It's tough!  I'm pretty bad at both of them!  Is there a third kind of riff that I'm good at.  Let's LTURQ.  I'm not seeing any other definitions.  DAMNIT.  DOUBLE DAMN.
     Last paragraph of the act.  Think I'll bathe myself.  I had a Shower Circumstance yesterday and it's rare I'd do that twice in a row.  I got it out of my system for the next week or so!  What else is going on.  I dunno.  What's today again.  Monday Experience.  That's right.  It's all coming back to me.  I could watch The Harry Potter Experience all day.  Whose gonna stop me.  Why wait until evening.  Harry Potter Franchise could EASILY be a day time viewing.  Also is it a problem I'm not a fan of kids doing magic?  Will that impair my ability to enjoy these movies?  I hope not!  So far it's been okay.  I can stand it because I enjoy the films for OTHER reasons.  GOOD PRODUCTION VALUES.  Wonderful!  Anyway hey that'll do it for now.  I'll be back in a little bit!

 

 

 

Maybe That's Not A Bad Thing

    Hey!  Getting close to the end of the entry.  And what a wild ride it's been.  There's the parts you thought it was completely worthless.  There's the parts where you forgot it was completely worthless for a few sentences at a time.  That about covers it.  WOW TWO THINGS.  Amazing!  Gonna re-up with coffee after this paragraph.  Anyway.  That means I have to write most of a paragraph without coffee.  And not just WITHOUT coffee.  But WITH looking forward to coffee.  It's so close I can taste it!  And it makes writing about anything else impossible!  As evidenced by lo these last few sentences.  I think it's a scandal that Bens: The Deli With Several Locations has Turkey Leg on its menu but the 10 or 12 times I've tried to get it over the years they never have it.  I WANT A BIG OL TURKEY LEG.  Sure I'd have to eat a lot of skin and lots of bones but IT'S WORTH IT.  Hey I finished that paragraph with an INTERESTING non-coffee anecdote.  Probably said it 10 or 12 times on the website.  I WANT A TURKEY LEG FIT FOR A MEAL BUT IT'S NOT AVAILABLE TO ME EASILY.  That's Life that people can relate to!
     Bad News-- I'm not in the mood for Snapple this morning so we will learn nothing new from this entry.  Good News-- I added Vanilla Tea Biscuits to the Super Market order.  That's not Good News.  That's VERY GOOD NEWS.  Look once it takes place I'll be underenthused about it.  Tea Biscuits I've gotten once or twice before but not lately might be a relatively positive experience but not a game changer.  But right now?  FEELS LIKE A GAME CHANGER.  Also The Beatles are always drinking tea.  Haven't they heard the good news about coffee?  I feel like someone's gotta bring Coffee to Britain.  It's EMBARRASSING they drink tea all the time and they don't even realize how FOOLISH they look.  Ugh.  Also I wasn't gonna say anything but I suspect these sandwiches they're getting are crappy sandwiches!  Someone said something about marmalade.  I think it was John Lennon.  NOT ON BOARD WITH THAT AT ALL.  Sandwiches are supposed to be savory.  This isn't up for debate!
     Anyway.  Three more paragraphs.  The point is I tried the Starbucks Bathroom Code for a second night in a row after getting it the previous night AND IT STILL WORKED.  Looks like I hold all the cards now.  Huh.  I think it's AMAZING I haven't pissed my pants in several years.  Roughly 100 to 200 times have I been holding it in barely coming up to my front door.  Yet still I JUST make it every time.  Wonderful.  I truly lead a blessed life.  Praise God and all his best Godly friends who help him out and WAIT A SECOND why do I have to pee so bad in the first place all the time.  That's not good!  NOW I'M ANGRY.  It shouldn't be this big a deal that I have to contend with.  Hmm.  Gonna have to look into whether I'm thankful or angry about this circumstance.  Maybe there's hidden benefits of having to pee all the time when I'm not toilet accessible.  Never thought about that.  Guess that's another thing to look into.
    
Penultimate paragraph!  Means I get home no fuss no muss.  I'm not HANGING AROUND outside my home.  Which would be bad for some reason.  COVID.  Oh right.  Having to pee all the time KEEPS ME GETTING HOME QUICK AND SAFE.  Okay I figured out Secret Benefit.  Wonderful.  WAIT NO.  Having to pee means I sometimes have to Go Inside Places to use bathroom.  That's WORSE than just hanging around Outside for some bonus time.  GOD DAMNIT.  Look let's move on with your lives.  Anyway.  Got a NYTIMES e-mail where they say several headlines of the day and one of them was a generic A Terrible Catch 22 which I dunno what the article is actually about.  BUT it made me think of Future Pun in a few years when we have Covid-22!  So we got that pun to look forward to at least.  NOW WE PLAY THE WAITING GAME.
    
Last paragraph of the day.  I don't believe it!  What else is going on.  Lunch in about an hour and a half.  Sounds fun.  I know what I'm having and everything!  Playing it a little close to the vest, though.  Can't go into it right now.  Can't even go into it in the future.  Gotta imagine if I'm refraining from talking about future meals I should also be avoiding talking about past meals.  EXCEPT FOR BREAKFASTS.  Breakfasts are the exception that proves the rule.  HOWEVER I like the British practice of holding cube of sugar between your teeth and drinking tea and then the sugar melts gradually for each sip.  Dunno if they still do that.  And I dunno exactly how widespread it was and/or is.  But either way I read that somewhere and it's delightful.  HEY the entry is over.  I'll be back tomorrow.

-12:47 P.M. 

 

 

 

Sunday, December 5, 2021 

These Are All Just Titles

    Hello friends.  I successfully didn't binge on anything after eating breakfast.  YES my breakfast was 1/3rd more than I wanted it to be.  Piece of Chocolate Babka that was obviously a bit too big!  But that's worth as much as roughly 10-15% of a binge so basically that rounds down to NO BINGE.  LOOKS LIKE I'M FIGURING THIS NEW ROUTINE OUT.  So I got that going for me.  Now all I have to do is write a new comedy routine.  I HAVE a comedy routine which means I CAN write a NEW one.  It was mostly about Starbucks per my recollections.  WOW WHAT ORIGINAL SOURCE MATERIAL.  It's not the source material it's the motion of the ocean!  Hmm.  Anyway.  Hopefully I get some good farts in today but nothing is guaranteed.  Figured out something I can do for the next week or so.  Watch all them Harris Potter movies!  I've only seen the first one in completion while paying attention.  And I just watched that again last night.  Good stuff!  Now I see it through AN ADULT'S eyes.
     Look are the names of things kind of good?  YES.  Names of people and organizations and nouns and verbs.  Each weird word SOUNDS like it means something relevant to what it is but then when you really think about the words they mean nothing.  VERY interesting.  For example Hufflepuff.  You might think you know what that means off the top of your head.  But you don't!  It actually means nothing!  Hmm.  Anyway.  Took a Beatles Break last night.  I'll... wait for it... GET BACK to it tonight.  Probably!  Beatles songs are great.  You think you know what they mean but they actually mean nothing!  All you need is love?  THOSE ARE JUST NONSENSE WORDS.  MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  The point is YES we have to hand it to The British for naming fictional things well.  They have a grand tradition of it.  And I give them all the credit in the world.  Like Bitcoin.  That sort of credit.  Also if one person buys all the bitcoin I think he suddenly has buyer's remorse because it's like if no one else has it This Is Kind Of Worth Absolutely Nothing.  PER MY UNDERSTANDING of bitcoin.  Which is even lower than how much I understand Hufflepuff. 
     Today is FINALLY an actual Sunday.  And ya know what?  Kinda feels like a Monday.  Not an all-out Monday.  Of Sundays, though, today is a Monday-Sunday.  Yep.  That makes sense.  I'm following myself.  Also if Harry Potter is such a great wizard you think he'd cure his eyesight.  Why would a wizard need glasses.  FOR STYLE.  Fair enough.  Anyway so far I'm rooting for the protagonists in The Harry Potter Franchise.  Will I cross over and start rooting for Voldemort at some point?  I don't know!  I haven't seen most of these films at all so I don't know how persuasive he can be with his evilness.  Guess we'll just have to wait and see.  Also I HATE quidditch.  I don't care how little I understand it or how adequately I understand it.  (I mostly little understand it).  I HATE IT EITHER WAY.  TERRIBLE.
     I don't like games where there's multiple ways to win.  That bleeds over into real life.  Pick a way to win and go try to win!  Multiple ways to win is just mucking things up.  Also as far as I can tell you're NEVER allowed to use magic.  Everyone involved in magic is at School.  Kids learning magic and teachers and administrators who know magic.  There's no other professions that you're allowed to use magic at PER MY UNDERSTANDING based on watching 1/8th of the franchise.  So in the end what really is the point.  You could say that about ANYTHING in real life.  Look kids learn math at school and the teachers know math and teach it to them but OUTSIDE OF THAT nobody EVER gets to use math.  I guess that's a good point.  I withdraw my criticism!  It's True To Life!
    I don't like how Harry Potter became best friends with the first two people he met.  Take some time to meet more people before you decide your best friends!  Look into this Draco Malfoy kid he seems to be of the right sort.  Huh.  Then again if I met 2 people in real life who wanted to be friends I too would grab tight and never let go.  That opportunity doesn't just come along every day!  Anyway.  Never gonna get this Babka again.  Delicious but ya gotta eat too much!  If it was pre-sliced into slices that I want to eat Caloriewise I'd be FINE with that.  But if I'm cutting it myself I'm always gonna cut too big a piece.  That's just how I roll!  Hmm.  Great.  BESIDES with Chocolate Babka as a breakfast for a week it means I'd be dumb to get chocolate chip pancakes for regular meals and/or bleeding into breakfasts.  And I LIKE chocolate chip pancakes.  Let's drop the Babka and pick up back where we left off with the pancakes!  Coffee time.
     Hey!  Was just talking to my Dad and apparently the house alarm went off last night at around 5 AM and the power went off and it was a huge thing.  And I slept through it!  And I had a mini-conversation with my Dad at the time saying I knew what happened and I was okay and whatnot.  And I don't remember that!  The point is Hmm good thing I'm blocking out these troubling memories.  Who wants to remember an alarm going off.  It's unpleasant!  Anyway we'll get to the bottom of that at some point.  There was no break in or anything.  Seems to have been a mistake.  COOL.  Got coffee going on.  WARM.  Alright let's check out the National Day of The Patriotism Food Day.  National Repeal Day and National Sacher-Torte Day.  WOW.  Two things I have no idea what they are.   REPEAL sounds interesting.  Let's look into that first.  Also because I said it first.  Oh.  The repeal of the amendment that banned alcohol.  So its a Celebrate Drinking day.  Sure why not.
    
Sacher-Torte day.  What's THAT about.  Some sort of delicious cake.  Presumably.  They say it's pretty much cake but some might consider it distinct.  And that's all I care to find out!  Let's quit while we're ahead.  Cake.  AMAZING.  What else is going on.  Not a fan of how I'm having mini-conversations and not remembering them.  WHAT ELSE have I been saying that I don't know about.  Could be anything.  Also Pancakes are MUCH healthier to eat for breakfast than just cakes.  They were made in A PAN.  BIG DIFFERENCE.  Also let's be honest there's no way pancakes are the same thing as cake but made in a pan.  Less sweet.  What else is going on.  I DID notice oven clock flashing the wrong time before talking to my Dad this morning.  Now I know why!  So that settles the mystery of the Blinking... Wrong... Clock.  Wonderful.
    Anyway.  Got the last of three Get Back Parts of documentary left.  I think about 2.5 hours.  Split that up into 2 viewings.  One per day.  Sounds about right.  Also Harry Potter-- once a day?  Last me an entire week THANKS A LOT.  Also a bunch of Marvel TV Mini Series I could watch.  So I got some ideas for TV for the short/intermediate-term-future.  WOW Looks like I got life all figured out.  Well, YEAH!  For the short/intermediate-term-future at least.  We're talking TWO OR THREE WEEKS.  Sounds good to me!  What else is going on.  Not hungry at all.  Apparently if I get over the hump of not eating directly after breakfast then I can settle into a place where I'm very comfortable!  Based on ONE DAY.  Today.  If we're gonna base things on a day TODAY is presumably usually the best day to pick!
     Penultimate paragraph of the act.  What other British things should I be watching.  Not sure there are other British things.  This might be it.  Harry Potter and The Beatles.  Well I'm sure there are other things but this probably is the main crux of British culture of the last 100 years.  Crux doesn't sound like a real word.  And if it IS a real word it's one of those real words that doesn't sound right actually being used in any context.  Let alone this one!  Hmm.  Looked it up online.  IS a real word.  Is PRETTY CLOSE to being appropriately used this paragraph.  Looks like I'm halfway there to using words more or less accurately!  GREAT WRITER.  Ended up saving entire 2nd cup of coffee for late afternoon yesterday.  I liked it!  Not so much that I'll do it every day.  But I can see enjoying doing that every now and then!
    GREAT WRITER.  What else is going on.  HMM it appears to be 8 degrees warmer than it was an hour ago.  GREAT.  I get to wear a different jacket!  Anyway finally wore my new Hat-Type-Enterprise yesterday.  Was okay!  Comfortable!  I think it sticks out upward more than I'm comfortable with BUT I didn't look at it in the mirror for some reason yet.  SEEMED like it would by looking at the hat but I really should consult a mirror while wearing it.  Sounds about right.  Anyway.  STUPID HARRY POTTER.  THINKS HE'S SO GREAT.  ME AND DRACO WILL SHOW HIM WHAT'S WHAT.  Anyway.  I was so easy to corrupt that Voldemort didn't even corrupt me, but just some dumb jerk kid.  LOOK I'm easy to corrupt get off my back about it.  LOOK I'm not being corrupted that easily.  It was A JOKE.  HAVE FAITH IN ME PLEASE.  Hmm.  I'll be back in a bit.

 

 

 

I Can See How You Might Feel That Way

    Hey!  Got last 40% of first cup of coffee left.  Looks like I ain't Savin' SHIT for later.  Finishing this coffee with this Act and having other coffee with next act.  What if I save SOME of the second cup of coffee.  WHAT IFS that's all you got.  HOW ABOUTS and WHAT IFS.  Useless to me!  Anyway what else is going on.  So far I've been uncomfortable eating lunches and dinners as early as I laid out.  Been doing then halfway between when I laid out and when I'm used to doing it.  Maybe that routine works!  Maybe it turns out to be a misstep.  Only time will tell.  Anyway hey today is a Real Sunday.  I think that means I'm shaving tonight!  Get back in the groove of doing it every week.  Ya know, that groove I had going on for 2 consecutive weeks?  Let's see how groovy I can get it going this time around.
   
My birthday is a week from today.  In lieu of gifts, continue to not read this website and have no idea this sentence even exists.  Yep makes sense.  HEY I was really desperate to use the bathroom last night in evening walk so I went in Starbucks and ASKED BARISTA code to bathroom.  49196.  Totally not unpleasant experience!  It was a guy I recognized from Years Past when I would go in there.  Maybe he recognized me, maybe he didn't!  Didn't make a big deal about it either way.  But the point is I assume that's the code all the time.  This isn't he nuclear football where they need to change the code every 15 minutes.  But maybe they do anyway.  Just for fun.  Makes em feel like big important people.  Making it harder for people to use the bathroom.  What hypothetical jerks!  Also I have no problem sharing the code with you today right now.  I'm like Robin Hood!  Steal bathroom access from the rich (Coffee Shop) and make them accessible to the poor (You.)
    In my mind I was thinking they might be like well ya gotta order something if you wanna know and I'd be like I HAVE NOTHING ON ME.  I'LL COME BACK TOMORROW AND BUY SOMETHING I SWEAR.  And then if that works I may or may not have came back the next day.  I didn't think that far ahead in this scenario.  Either way.  Two ideas I had for birthday.  Donut/coffee AND/OR 2-3 beers.  I CAN DO BOTH.  Donut coffee in the morning.  Beers in the evening!  Whose gonna stop me!  My parents can stop me from guilt tripping me.  They're very effective with that weapon!  Not as effective as they'd like but they wield it with SOME power I feel.  What else is going on how I feel.  Harry Potter'll probably be mid-late afternoon.  Beatles in evening.  MAYBE more Harry Potter in evening before and/or after Beatles.  Now all I need to figure out is early-mid afternoon.  Right now I'm thinking Watching Docuseries about Very Obese people.  Can't go wrong with that!
     Penultimate paragraph of the act!  The point is I'm learning and aiming for is If I Do My Meals Right timewise and composition-wise, I don't really need to snack that much between them!  Only real snack I'm really considering on a daily basis is 1 or 2 things after dinner.  I need to end the day on A HIGH NOTE.  By which I mean SOME SORT OF LOW CALORIE FUDGE POP LET'S SAY.  AND/OR PLUS A TOOTSIE POP.  LET'S GO CRAZY.  OR EVEN MORE LET'S BE HONEST.  I can have a decent sized snack or two after dinner depending on how I feel!  WONDERFUL LET'S TALK MORE ABOUT IT.  WE HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT IT ENOUGH AT ALL.  Sounds fair.  LOOK most of the paragraphs today WEREN'T about it.  I just feel like Everything Has Been About It because it has been this single paragraph.  I can't remember anything before the current paragraph ever!  I'm not some sort of Memory Guy Genius!
    Last paragraph before Shower Circumstance.  Delicious!  I think Marvel MiniSeries lost me when there's one that's like a 50's sitcom about the robot?  I may have only 15% of the details on that show right AT MOST but that's the impression I got.  I guess I gotta look into that one.  I like Chocolate Babka.  Hey this one piece I just forked off is mostly plain cake.  And this next piece is mostly chocolate cake.  WHAT A VARIETY OD FLAVORS MY PALATE IS BEING OVERLOADED IN A RELATIVELY GOOD WAY.  Also nice Kinda Flaky Cake.  Works for me!  What else is going on.  LOOK I think there's like 4 or 5 Marvel Miniseries and I'd have to do A LOT of HEAVY RESEARCH figuring out what order to watch them in.  I'm gonna watch them in the order they were released.  That's where my mind is at.  Already watched half of The Falcon Meets The Winter Soldier And They Become Fast Friends.  It was OKAY!  I enjoyed it!  Just lost track at some point.  Anyway I'll be back in a bit.

 

 

 

That Makes Me Think Of Something Else

    Hey!  Took a real shower circumstance.  No bathing today!  Gotta stand up for 6 minutes.  Anyway.  Coffee coming up after this paragraph.  Possibly paired with a Raspberry Patriotism Iced Tea.  Anyway we're gettin' into December!  I'm not saying we're in the middle yet.  I'm not MAD.  But if we're in the beginning we're SOLIDLY into the beginning.  Also maybe I AM MAD ENOUGH to say ya know what?  December 8th or 9th?  START OF THE MIDDLE.  I'm crazy we all know this.  This is one example that illustrates my mental illness.  Cool.  I wonder what happens in future Harry Potter movies.  More SPELLS I'm guessing.  Maybe some SUSPICIOUS people.  But also some LIGHT HEARTED people.  Also MYSTERIES.  I dunno if I'm on board with this  franchise now that I think about it.  NONE of that sounds appealing to me.  Spells, people, mysteries...  COUNT ME OUT.  Then again they're well made films so they got that going for them.  COFFEE TIME.
     Raspberry Iced Tea Patriotism Fact Of The Day...
All scorpions glow.  Got that one before.  I think one that I didn't share with you.  Keepin' that info pretty close to the vest.  Don't want the wrong people to find that out.  Then again I just crazysheeted it for everyone to see.  Oh well.  Why are The Wrong People here at my website.  I never explicitly set up a way to stop them.  Oh okay.  Anyway I also have coffee but there's no Facts to go along with that.  Other than coffee is delicious!  Even with half the amount of cream I've indulged in for years.  Let's end this entry on a good note.  A 3.5 paragraphs good note.  Hmm that's a long time to sustain ANY note let alone a good one.  Probably easy to sustain a bad note.  Just don't think about it and do it.  GOOD is harder!  Hmm.
    
Yeah!  Still have 1-2 Lemon Iced Teas from the week before.  Saving those for a special occasion.  One that will happen this week.  If I re-up with lemon next time then I blew my chance to have them As Special!  I think in Harry Potter they really lean into hey this is fun we're all friends having fun and not enough into JESUS THIS SCHOOL IS HARD WE GOTTA STUDY ALL THE TIME WHATTA GRIND.  Which is how Wizard Boarding School would be like IN REAL LIFE.  Maybe in future movies in franchise they have to start working hard with their studies.  Makes sense.  Anyway.  Lotta movies on Shutter: The Screaming Service I can watch.  That'd be a good routine for mid-afternoon.  We got Harry Potters --> Marvels in late afternoon and/or evening.  Early/Mid Afternoons could be catching up on Crappy Horror Movies!  I've ACCUMULATED a lot by not watching them in the last month or three!  AMAZING.
    
Penultimate paragraph.  HEY 2-3 weeks almost gets us to The New Years.  PERFECT.  Not sure why.  It's totally arbitrary.  YOU BET IT IS.  Totally arbitrary!  Wonderful!  I may be imagining Arbitrary means the wrong thing that it isn't.  Oh well you can't argue with a feeling.  Also are scorpions glowing all the time.  Or only sometimes.  When they feel like it.  My guess is all the time.  Wonderful.  Lunch is creeping up.  Delicious!  I totally didn't have to eat 4 Fiber One Treats or anything!  THEN AGAIN it's never too late to chase your dreams.  Hmm.  I don't wanna chase my dreams.  I want my dreams to COME TO ME.  Why should I have to put in the work to get up close with my dreams.  This is THEIR problem not mine.  YEAH.  That's how it worked for Harry Potter.  He never applied to wizard school.  Never had to work on a GPA or do SAT Prep or extracurriculars.  He's just living his life and one day they're like HEY YOU'RE IN.  ALSO FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP.  ALSO HERE'S SOME MONEY YOU GOT COMIN' TO YA.  Basically that's what I want AND FEEL ENTITLED to happen to me.
     Last paragraph of the day!  Wonderful.  Kinda enjoyed the Mid-day coffee yesterday.  It was Pretty Good!  But it didn't blow me away or anything.  Such is life.  Also one of the first scenes of Harry Potter's pre-Wizard life is him making breakfast for the family.  Like that's a bad thing.  I SEE WHAT HE'S COOKING.  Bacon.  HE'S GONNA GET SOME OF THAT BACON.  Maybe not as big a portion as his gluttonous cousin.  But gotta imagine he'll get one or 2 strips.  SO BASICALLY IT'S NOT ALL THAT BAD AT ALL.  He's cooking HE'S IN CHARGE of how much to make.  He could be making secret bacon that's even MORE than his cousin is getting.  Anyway what else is going on.  I haven't had bacon in a while.  Not even turkey bacon.  Hmm.  Maybe when I start having Frozen Breakfast Sandwiches there's a brand with turkey bacon.  Seems VERY reasonable and likely.  HEY THAT'S LIFE FOR TODAY.  I'll be back tomorrow!

-1:06 P.M.

 

 

 

Saturday, December 4, 2021 

Now I'm Going To Write Something New

    Hey.  Had a delicious piece of Chocolate Babka for breakfast.  Then I had a 1/4-1/3rd of a binge on Fiber One products again!  I'm starting to think I'm not that hungry after breakfast but that my body is craving Fiber for some reason!  Either way gonna have a turkey sandwich NO SIDES for lunch and that'll even that out.  MAYBE EVEN A SMALL SIDE.  It was only 30% of a binge NOT A HUGE DEAL.  Either way gotta be the fiber I'm craving.  My body knows what it wants and it wants to fart all day.  Even I know that.  I know it internally and physiologically AND I know it logically and consciously.  Wonderful.  Anyway does my stomach hurt now?  SURE IT DOES.  Get off my back about it.  Anyway maybe this is ALSO a sign my body wants me to start talking about meals again.  It tricked me into saying what I'm having for lunch already!  NO I WILL NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD.  Anyway.  Went to take my first walk today?  Squirrel sitting there right outside my door.  Look I see squirrels a lot but this squirrel was WAITING FOR ME.  Don't like it.
    
Anyway.  Watched some more of Them Beatles last night.  Wonderful!  I get the feeling this group is going places.  The point is I feel like we should watch the exact same documentary set-up but with other bands and it's available every week.  I don't see why they wouldn't do that.  It'd be ENTERTAINING and PRODUCTIVE.  It's productive because you're like oh so that's how other people do stuff.  Great.  My life is better now. Anyway.  Gotta imagine my stomach will go straight from hurting into being hungry.  Stomach Gotta Feel Something.  No downtime for stomach.  Either it's hurting or it's hungry!  RIGHT NOW the thought of it being hungry MAKES IT HURT MORE.  Which is good.  As long as it hurts I'm not hungry.  As long as I'm not hungry I'm not hungry!  Makes sense.  That's a great new idea for people to lose weight.  Just give 'em stuff that makes their stomach hurt.  Not gonna wanna eat then!  ALSO I GET ROYALTIES EVERY TIME SOMEONE'S STOMACH HURTS NOW.  Anyway.  At this rate I may never want to eat again!  That's not good either.
   
Anyway did Sandwiches make another appearance in Beatles Documentary and did John Lennon talk about them a little bit?  YOU BET THEY DID AND YOU BET HE DID.  What else is going on.  Today is the first day in a while that it's not Sunday.  Today is Saturday.  Looking forward to a Sunday tomorrow, though!  The point is I binged on all my Fiber Products so if my body wants Fiber after the next few days it's just gonna have to toughen up and survive without it.  Hmm.  Gotta be fiber in other Food Products I Have.  Gonna go on a Fiber Hunt through my Pantries.  Never used the word pantry/pantries before in my life.  I don't like it!  I don't think I'll ever use the words again!  Maybe turkey has fiber.  I wouldn't put it past turkey to have fiber.  Probably should save the turkey for another day then.  Nah I ain't gonna do that.  Fair enough.  Fair... enough.  DINNER'LL BE 1/3rd of Steak & Stuffed Mushroom Dinner.  I SNUCK IT IN.  NOW YOU KNOW ALL MEALS TODAY.  OH NO THE SKY IS FALLING.
     My dad saw there was a Batman show on TV that pre-dated the Adam West version.  Which he never knew about.  See you learn something new every day even at 73.  My Dad is 73 right.  Yep checks out.  I have hopes that eating Frozen Health Breakfast Sandwiches for breakfast may be the silver bullet that makes me not hungry after eating breakfast.  It's got EGG.  EGG is a SUPER FOOD.  Presumably.  Sounds like I might have heard something to that effect before.  It's a silver bullet because me eating after breakfast is a Werewolf.  Worse than a werewolf!  A werewolf who is also a vampire!  OH NO THEY GOTCHA COMING AND GOING.  Anyway.  I hope Baseball Lockdown ends soon because I was moderately entertained by Free Agency Signings!  8 or so of them were for big money!  It's like watching a game show and seeing people win!  Not a lot of people losing.  Not so many signing top players for 300 thousand dollars and the player just shrugs and is like well I got unlucky what can ya do.
    
What else is going on.  I wonder if they're making Secret Signings.  Teams talking to players ON THE DARK WEB and making HIDDEN AGREEMENTS to be announced later.  Oh no I'm scared.  Dark Web.  Run away.  I feel like if I was born 15 years later I'd casually explore the dark web just a little bit and then someone for real on the dark web will hack me and ruin my life.  I don't know why but that just seems like the kind of thing that might transpire if I were born 10 years later.  Anyway.  When I was a kid we were on The AOL.  No Dark Web on the America OnLine.  AOL WOULDN'T STAND FOR IT.  Maybe at this point all that's left of AOL ISIS The Dark Web.  That's how you get to the Dark Web.  Just go on AOL and whatever that is, that's the dark web.  Hmm.  Gonna have to Not Look Into That.  Even by saying Dark Web 5 times in one paragraph might summon someone from the dark web to hack me and ruin my life!  Oh well too late now.  I think I've made that point about the dark web before.  Can't talk about it or less it'll appear in your mirror and slit your throat.  I LIKE TESTING FATE.  I'LL TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN UNTIL IT HAPPENS.
   
I'm gonna pour myself coffee now.  Probably will be bad for my Already Hurting Stomach.  Might be GOOD for it.  Probably not but let's roll the dice!  Anyway Raspberry Patriotism Fact Of The Day-- Children Grow Faster During Springtime.  Hmm.  Maybe I never was alive during springtime.  Now the pieces are all starting to come together!  The point is NEW FACT and That Can't Be Bad.  Also it's interesting because NATURE grows during springtime.  Most of nature.  Kids Are Nature is the point they're trying to make I guess.  Anyway Day Food National Day Of The Day Patriotism Day-- Cabernet Franc Day and National Cookie Day.  First thing I'm guessing is wine?  YEP.  Second thing I'm guessing is National Cookies?  YEP.  Well I wonder if I'm on board with National Cookie day Oh Right YEP OF COURSE I AM.  But what is OUR National Cookie.  Hmm.  Chocolate Chip?  Why not.
    
Another paragraph down!  The point is I'm looking forward to taking a walk.  I don't know why I think this, but I feel like my stomach will hurt less while it's getting exercise by me walking.  Sort of take its mind of Hurting.  Hmm.  The point is I can't remember ever having a glass of wine and enjoying it.  Probably had a glass of wine on maybe a dozen occasions in my life.  NEVER a positive experience.  Tolerable sometimes.  Never GOOD.  Oh well I'm not gonna whine about it.  Wait Yes I Am.  I just did.  Maybe I won't AGAIN.  It could all be out of my system now.  We'll have to wait and see.  It's possible my feelings about wine stem from Jewish Wine.  I feel like a lot of the time I've drank wine it was Ceremonial Jewish Wine which possibly isn't supposed to taste good.  Oh well what can ya do.  Move on with your life!
     What wine goes with Beatles Sandwiches.
  Anyway.  Gotta imagine that'll be one concrete effect of Popular Beatles Documentary.  People are gonna want those sandwiches they saw in the documentary!  What else is going on.  Well I gotta eat more Chocolate Babka for breakfast several more times at least.  I gotta whole loaf!  Which is okay.  It's delicious and it SEEMS filling at the time.  I can live with finishing that!  Hopefully my Dad'll help me make a dent in it.  He likes to eat food and this solidly is food.  What else is going on.  Eighth paragraph!  TERRIBLE entry so far.  NOTHING good in it.  Practical Joke!  I GOTCHA.  Titles are okay I feel.  WELL THAT'S HALFWAY THERE TO A GOOD ENTRY I GUESS.  WELL DONE, ME.  What else is going on.  I don't like wine.  That's a fun story.  People will remember it for years to come.
    
Anyway.  Ringo Starr is a great drummer.  These other jerks come into the studio with songs and he just somehow FUCKIN DRUMS ALONG WITH THESE NEW SONGS.  How does he do it?  And why does he get so little credit?  I couldn't do that.  9 out of 10 people you see on the street couldn't do that!  It's VERY impressive.  Also 10 out of 10 people you DON'T see on the street couldn't do that.  For some reason if they're on the street there's a chance they could do that but if they never go out on the street there's NO chance.  Hmm.  Interesting.  How's Omicron going.  Still causin' a ruckus I bet.  Oh that Omicron.  WILL IT EVER LEARN.  I hope not.  If Omicron is Learning then that's probably VERY BAD for us.  Uh oh disease has gained consciousness now we're really in trouble.
    
Wonderful.  What else is going on.  UNLESS it learns humility and kindheartedness.  Hmm now that I'm learning, Me, Omicron, I don't WANT to hurt people.  I'M A NICE GUY DISEASE.  That's possibly a BEST CASE SCENARIO we could hope for overall!  What else is going on.  I think I'm gonna start pronouncing Omicron differently in my head.  I've been doing it as Oh-Mih-kron.  Think I'm gonna mix it up and think AHM-Ih-Chron.  Sounds fun.  I must have heard it 80 times in the last week because my parents ARE watching Cable News all the time.  I just don't REMEMBER.  Probably been saying Ohm-Ih-kron and that's where I got it from originally.  Probably but NOT DEFINITELY.  Ugh.  I think it's interesting that they started 24/7 news channels a few decades ago and at this point there's probably less news on these channels a day than there was on a standard channel which had 30 minutes of news a night several decades ago.  GREAT PHRASING OF LOGIC.  TOTALLY EASY TO FOLLOW.  Well I know what I'm talking about at least.  And that's what counts.  Possibly.  Probably not.  Anyway I'm gonna take a walk now.

 

 

 

Also What's Your Problem

    Hey.  My stomach doesn't hurt and I'm not hungry!  It's a Non-Sunday Get Back Miracle.  The point is what else is going on.  Dunno what I'm gonna do today.  Probably aim to watch about half of last third of Them Beatles Got Back at some point in the even-ning.  That leaves the day wide open!  HMM this is a tough one.  How do I feel about possibly playing Video Games.  I'M INTRIGUED TELL ME MORE.  Well there's the World War II game and the Guitar Game.  YA LOST ME NOT INTRIGUED ANYMORE.  Oh Okay.  Hmm.  WHEN WILL PLAYERS START SIGNING CONTRACTS AGAIN.  I need my fix. 40 Million Dollar Contracts and up, please!  Doesn't matter how many years.  If the total contract is 40+ million I'M INTRIGUED.  What else is going on.  Are they allowed to sign Managers during Lockdown.  Mets need a manager.  Hmm.  What a productive paragraph.  That's totally one less paragraph I have to write.  And one less paragraph you have to read Now.
    
Anyway.  Am I SURE today isn't Sunday.  Sunday Vibes are JUST starting to kick in for me.  Hmm.  Child's Play TV Series Season I is over.  I enjoyed it!  I liked the parts where stuff happened.  I don't remember all the details.  But I definitely remember stuff happening now and again and being INTRIGUED by it.  Also I was too gullible.  Chucky tricked me!  First couple of episodes he's pretending to be this kid's friend and I was like HEY CHUCKY IS A NICE GUY HE HAD BAD IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO LIVE LIFE BUT HE WANTS TO HELP THIS KID.  Turns out I was wrong!  That's THE LAST TIME I trust Chucky: The Killer Doll.  Hopefully.  Let's be honest he'll probably trick me again.  AND AGAIN.  The rest of my life will just be Being Tricked Into Trusting Chucky: The Killer Doll every 3-5 years.  Sounds fun sign me up for THAT life.
    
Doesn't matter if I consciously sign up for that life or not.  It's what WILL happen.  Oh well such is life.  Look gotta look at the bright side of things.  Chocolate Babka was great!  I'll give it another shot tomorrow.  I think I overate it by a little bit compared to what I was aiming for but not too far off.  Does everyone know what Babka is.  It's cake!  Kind of Bread-Cake.  In my experience it's 80-85% cake and the rest % bread.  DELICIOUS.  Also Chocolate is Chocolate.  Does everyone know what Chocolate is.  It's chocolate!  Hmm.  How come Covid can't be Chocolate.  If chocolate was spreading uncontrollably across the world nobody would be upset about that.  It'd be a solidly POSITIVE thing.  Oh well that's life ya win some ya lose some.  Did I make the joke that Andy Serkis is playing all the Beatles yet.  Probably.  If not There Ya Go.
    
Penultimate paragraph of the act!  Wonderful.  Normally I'm on board with getting deep into the entry.  Not today!  I know it's a bad entry so every paragraph closer to the end is a paragraph closer to the entry getting to YOU and you reading it and being like THIS STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN and then who knows what happens next.  ALSO I dunno whatta do with the rest of the day.  Sure I'll figure out SOMETHING but I'm not happy about it!  Anyway.  I think it's great that at first The Beatles all looked exactly like each other but by the time we see them in this documentary they all look very extremely unique compared to one another.  That's PROGRESS.  Well done lads.  Anyway.  Looking forward to economical Turkey Sandwich Lunch.  REASONABLE.  COMPACT.  HEALTHY.  Gonna be a good one.  LOOK tomorrow I'll start a new streak of not saying what I'm having for lunches and dinners.  I SWEAR.  I CAN DO BETTER.  I MUST DO BETTER.  What else is going on.
    
Huh.  Maybe write a second entry in a few hours.  That solves several problems at once.  But creates one big problem.  The problem of Me Having To Do That.  Not gonna happen.  I guess I can wait 2 years for the next Expendables Major Motion Picture to come out.  The count down begins NOW.  Huh.  The point is I'm trying to get into a new easy healthy routine and today's 30% binge isn't helping!  I'll end up no worse for wear on the day but it made things more difficult to get through.  DAMN BODY.  ALWAYS WITH THE FIBER SUGAR.  Needs the fiber and it needs the sugar.  Whatta dumb body I got.  Just BE HEALTHY.  How hard is that.  WANT HEALTHY THINGS and NOT unhealthy things.  You IDIOT.  Fiber is healthy.  Yeah but SHUT UP.  JUST BE HAPPY WITH THE FIBER YOU'RE GETTING.  It's more than the average person!
     Bonus paragraph right now.  Can't take a bath yet.  Dad is in hallway changing Air Filters on the ceiling.  That prevents me from getting to bathroom!  Also I'm in the groove now!  Can't interrupt this!  I think it's odd there's a Major League Baseball Player Lock Down BUT they're still doing Hall Of Fame Votes and Ballots.  HOW CONVENIENT.  When it comes to the players Oh You Gotta Be Shut Down but when it comes to YOUR PRECIOUS HALL OF FAME SELECTIONS oh everything's FINE?  C'mon!  Was this paragraph really necessary?  So far?  NO.  Anyway.  This paragraph's main premise so far is a pretty good distillation of everything that's wrong with this website.  Just really sums it up pretty well.  So that's good.  Also I'm not convinced we should elect ANYONE to the Hall Of Fame.  Not sure where I thought I was going with that.  Can't come up with Any Sentence 2 for whatever I thought that was gonna turn into.  Hey great.  I'll be back in a little bit.

 

 

 

I Can't Believe You're Reading This

    Maybe make this act 6 paragraphs for Symmetry's Sake.  Maybe not!  We'll have to wait and see.  What else is going on.  The Beatles Documentary has illustrated why I can never be in a band.  BEST CASE SCENARIO I go into practice session #1 with 3 riffs and 6 chord progressions I've got on my mind.  Best Case Scenario.  And then NOTHING ELSE.  I can't work with other people's ideas.  I can' progress on my own.  I GOT THESE GENERIC THINGS.  NOW LET'S MAKE SOME COMMUNAL SONGS.  Also I knew I couldn't be in a band beforehand but now it's a sure thing!  I see exactly what I would need to be able to do for sure!  Can't do it!  Not even close!  UNTIL I MASTER ROCKSMITH: THE VIDEO GAME.  Anyway great what else.  Still have a quarter of first cup of coffee.  Debating whether to make that last the last act and have 2nd cup in a few hours as a late afternoon treat.  Or just finish this cup and next cup over the next few paragraphs.  What a wonderful world.
     Anyway.  Not 100% sure how Michael Jackson ended up owning the Beatles catalogue.  Why don't the Beatles own it?  Presumably they had enough self interest to know it'd be valuable to own their own songs.  I'm sure there's good reasons but I don't know what they are.  There's good reasons for everything.  Everything that has ever happened and will happen is predicated on REASONS.  Real World Reasons.  Good reasons!  I dunno some reasons are bad.  Maybe Paul McCartney was like DUHHHH HERE'S THE RIGHTS TO OUR SONGS FOR A LOLLIPOP DUHHHH.  But that's STILL a good reason.  The good reason that happened is Paul McCartney appears to be mentally impaired and REALLY is desperate for a lollipop.  What else is going on.  Good name for a kid.  McCartney.  Gonna have to remember that one.  It's as good as roughly 200 other names off the top of my head.  Damn now I have to remember TWO HUNDRED NAMES?  This is gonna take all my brain power.  And FOR WHAT.
     What else is going on.  I have been succeeding at using half the amount of cream for coffee and enjoying it just about the same.  So that's one Good Thing Going On In Life.  Hmm.  One good thing.  That makes it all worth it!  NO IT DOESN'T.  NOT EVEN CLOSE.  Oh well what can ya do.  I DUNNO SUICIDE COMES TO MIND.  What else is going on.  A bit more Farty today than normal but not as much as a few days ago.  Great.  LOOK I'm on board with a nice medium-small lunch like a turkey sandwich and maybe a smallish cookie.  But my body shouldn't need to 30% binge beforehand to trick myself into doing it.  I should be able to go into things excited about an economical lunch!  Oh well what can ya do.  Body is smarter than you.  If your body wants to trick you your body is gonna trick you.  Anyway.  Time to heat up coffee I have.
    HMM this coffee is delicious.  Also this coffee ain't no 1/4th of a standard cup!  It's 1/5th!  I think I'll have 2nd cup after this paragraph.  Maybe have HALF OF IT with entry and other half in a few hours.  Nice compromise!  Didn't see THAT great logic coming DID YOU BODY.  Why is my body just my enemy now.  Hmm.  We should team up.  ME & MY BODY?  TOGETHER?  WE'D BE INSTOPPABLE.  Anyway this is already the fourth paragraph of the act.  I can live with that I guess.  Sure.  LOOK I know Chucky was trying to get this kid to kill people too but I thought it was out of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP and RESPECT.  Chucky likes killing people so he'd want his new friend to share in these positive experiences, why not.  Anyway.  Let's get Andy Serkis playing Chucky.  I don't see how it could HURT.  It can only HELP.
     Fifth paragraph.
  Doesn't make sense to start a new cup of coffee just for two paragraphs.  Save that as a Bonus Treat for late afternoon!  Amazing.  I don't find Child's Play Franchise believable.  Why would people get off on killing people so much.  That hasn't been my experience.  I've met dozens of people throughout my life and most of them have shown NO signs of possibly secretly enjoying killing people.  Doesn't ring true.  What else is going on.  SEE I already got lunch coming up in an hour or two.  What fun.  That's the kinda days I got in store! But without the stress of doing a 30% binge after breakfast and having to accommodate for that presumably!  Ya wake up.  Before ya know it you're having breakfast.  Next thing you know you're writing entry.  Then pretty soon you're already having lunch!  AMAZING.  WHY IS LIFE SO GREAT POTENTIALLY.  DOESN'T ADD UP.
    
Last paragraph of the day!  Wonderful.  Doing sit-ups while Farty.  There should be a thing in Yoga and Assorted Other Classes where they have a Don't Worry About Farting Policy.  Just say upfront at the beginning of the class look you're gonna wanna be farting.  Just do it.  We're all on the same page so it won't be weird.  Either that or they never bring it up and no one is comfortable because they have to hold in farts.  LOOK I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.  I took a Yoga Class in Queens College.  Don't remember having to fart that much.  But that's possibly because I BLOCKED THOSE MEMORIES OUT.  Too painful.  Gonna have to wear a sweatshirt jacket on next walk instead of winter jacket like I did on previous walk.  Too warm.  Too painful.  Being slightly too warm is painful.  It's the very definition of pain! Hmm.  This entry is over.  Next one will be better probably.  Just Mathematical Odds-wise we gotta guess that.  See ya.

-1:05 P.M.

 

 

 

Friday, December 3, 2021 

Hurry Up And Start Reading

    Hey!  Friday entry.  May or may not be interrupted by Super Market Delivery this act.  Great!  Yesterday worked out great diet/routine-wise.  Ended up hitting my normal daily target for calories consumed on account of No Lunch.  And put together a New Routine to last me indefinitely!  Main bullet points-- much earlier lunches and dinners, 6 walks instead of 7, and slightly bigger lunch.  Will continue dieting to lose weight probably 1 or 2 months, maybe as much as 3 or 4.  And then keep the routine I have going, just consume another few hundred calories a day.  WOW A NEW ROUTINE.  THAT CAN LAST ME.  THAT I REALLY LIKE AS OF NOW.  Amazing!  Fountains of Wayne has a song called New Routine.  Good song!  Makes me think of comedy routines.  I'd like to have a new routine.  I'm not sure I ever had an old routine.  So that makes it VERY hard.
     What else is going on.  Covered important life details in first paragraph.  LOOK THIS IS A WEB DIARY.  It's well within my rights to write DIARY stuff.  Also what else did Anne Frank write about.  She liked boys.  A LITTLE YOUNG TO LIKE BOYS in my opinion.  Also a little too Reclusive.  GET OUT THERE AND MEET PEOPLE.  What else is going on.  Also AN FRANK is terrible English.  It's A Frank.  Maybe they do things different in Germany what do I know.  Also my head hurts a little bit and my stomach hurts a lot.  I ate the slightly larger breakfast and now it hurts!  Anyway.  Yesterday was also fun because I was farting all day on account of the fiber.  Really.  ALL day.  And GOOD farts.  REAL FUN ones.  Anyway what else is good.  Started Earlier meals with dinner last night.  Worked out GREAT.  LIFE KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.  Except for the fact I'll be farting less.  WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES.
   
Anyway.  What kind of stuff can you take for stomach aches.  Gimme some of that!  I'd look it up right quick but whatever.  If God didn't want my stomach to hurt he wouldn't make me stomach hurt.  Stomachache remedy is SACRILEGE.  What else is going on.  MLB lock down continues.  Gotta imagine every day this goes on DOZENS of more people figure out what it means exactly.  One day I'd like to be part of that Dozens of People For The Day. Maybe around early January.  Not too late, not too early.  Good compromise!  What else is going on.  Stomachache is GOOD.  Means I don't wanna eat more.  Adding things into my stomach while it's aching will presumably compound the ache.  That's just Math and/or Physics!  And/or neither Math and/or Physics.  Great.  Not sure about the upcoming movie Spiderman: No Way Home.  I know plenty of ways home and watching this movie isn't gonna change my mind about it.  PROBABLY not.  I hope not!  Either way huh.
    
Cool!  I think it's great that the Kyle Rittenhouse trial has been out of the news-cycle several times over at this point.  Hopefully it means that people will FORGET they can literally get away with murder if they felt like it.  WHEW.  That's our best line of defense.  Seeing to it that they don't REMEMBER they can do it.  Sounds reasonable to me.  What else is going on.  Had a good half dozen solid farts outside while taking walks where I had my earbuds plugged in and there may or may not have been people as close as 15 feet away and I just felt if this makes a sound they could hear, SO WHAT.  I'm GOING FOR IT.  And it was the most fun I've had in weeks.  The point is I wasn't starving at all eating nothing until dinner.  Maybe there really is something to Fiber satisfying your hunger?  But you have to eat A SHITLOAD of it for it to really kick in.
    Amazing.  My instinct is to be on the player's side in lockdown.  I don't know the details but I am PRO WORKERS and ANTI Steve Cohen and his friends.  That's my general rule that guides me in all facets of life.  What else.  I've been Triple Shot but should I ALSO be taking Covid Pills.  Would that help me at all.  Hmm I could sit here waiting for an answer forever.  Very unlikely I'll get any sort of answer by asking a question to my own website.  THEN AGAIN YA NEVER KNOW.  Real good DIARY entry.  Not a joke entry.  But for history's sake I and others will know I had a great Farting Day.  Hmm.  Kinda wanna do it again.  Is there a way I can take a bunch of fiber without calories that kicks in immediately.  MY BODY IS FULL OF FARTS JUST WAITING TO BE RELEASED.  That's life I guess.  Yep.  HEY coffee time.
    HEY Super Market Delivery came during Coffee Time.  Took care of that!  Wonderful.  Now I don't have to do that later.  Cause I just did it!  All smooth sailing from here.  Smooth Sailing is an oxymoron.  You're sailing on the wide open sea!  ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.  No such thing as Smooth Sailing gotta be ready for anything.  What else is going on.  Poured coffee before realizing Super Market truck was outside.  I had to put it in the microwave when I was done accepting things and putting some of them away!  DAMNIT.  That's one Microwaving that I'll never get back.  Microwave can only accommodate a limited amount of microwavings in it's lifespan.  JUST WASTED ONE.  Ugh.  Anyway off the top of my head looks like I got everything I wanted from Super Market Delivery.  Gotta work my way down to the middle and/or bottom of my head to really confirm things though.
    
Sure!  DIARY ENTRY.  Accepted Super Market.  HISTORY MUST REMEMBER.  Part of the new routine is scheduling walks which is FUN.  It's gonna be one less walk a day than I've been doing but at more comfortable times!  AMAZING.  Man oh man lunch today will be the first early-ish lunch in a long time.  I'm gonna get a blast and a half out of it.  Only thing is walk BEFORE LUNCH or walk AFTER LUNCH.  Right now I'm set up for walks directly before lunch.  That's probably how it'll stay.  But maybe I wanna do it the other way I DON'T KNOW.  I JUST DON'T KNOW.  And nobody is telling me!  WHY NOT.  I need an authority figure to tell me whether to take a walk before lunch or after lunch.  WHO WILL SAVE ME.  Also the other part of Rittenhouse trial is that it was followed up by another trial where the people didn't get away with murder.  So that's good.  You got a 50/50 shot like I always said.  If you wanna risk it that's your business!
     What else is going on.  Getting Away With Murder is gonna have to be replaced in our lexicon.  In terms of someone is getting away with murder means they're getting away with some huge thing that they shouldn't be.  NOW my idea is Getting Away With Abortion.  That's something that nobody will be able to get away with except once in a blue moon from now on.  Topical Humour.  What else is going on.  Also-- abortion for minorities.  THOUGHTS?  White Nationalist Religious Nuts gotta be okay with Minority Abortion, right?  They just haven't specifically considered it yet.  HMM SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD, "WEDGE," ISSUE.  Let's get that, "TRENDING."  Huh.  I WANT THIS BASEBALL LOCKDOWN ENDED.  Mostly because I want free agent signings to continue.  They're INTERESTING to me.  Hey this guy got a big contract amazing I'm having fun keeping up with this.  That sort of thing.  Also hey great what else is going on.
    
Penultimate paragraph of the day!  And WHAT a morning it's been so far.  I've only eaten as much as I aimed to eat!  WAY ahead of the game compared to yesterday.  Anyway.  Stomach doesn't hurt anymore!  LIFE IS GOOD AND ONLY GETTING BETTER.  Jeez.  Let's look up the Day National Food Day Of The Day for the day.  National Green Bean Casserole Day.  NEXT.  PASS.  That's a HARD Pass.  I want NOTHING TO DO with that.  Possibly the least appetizing thing to me since I started talking about National Days Of Good.  Anyway what else is going on.  Also the guy in charge of the MLB Players Union is Tony Clark.  I remember him from following baseball in the 1990's!  Solid first baseman per my recollection.  Let's LTURQ.  YEP he had a respectable career.  Not a star by any means but certainly a relatively productive player!  So he's got that going for him is the point.
    
Last paragraph of the act.  Amazing.  Watch some more The Beatles today.  Wonder what happens.  My guess is they work on music some more.  That seems to be the main thing they do for the most part.  Also the Beatles played Shea Stadium famously.  And I'm talking about baseball.  ALL THE PIECES ARE COMING TOGETHER.  That's how you know Writing Is Good.  If there's 2 or 3 things going on and at the end they come together.  Then everyone goes OH RIGHT now I see how it's Good Writing.  Gotcha.  I MAY just be thinking about How Sitcoms Work.  I get Good Writing and How Sitcoms Work confused all the time.  Somehow.  Anyway.  Looking forward to finding out who new Mets Manager will be.  I hope it's someone good.  That's my contribution into what they should be looking for ideally.  Maybe A LADY.  Never been done before!  I think it's about time we had a Lady Manager.  Or a man.  Depends on whose the best candidate for the job!  Hey great gonna take a Walking Break.  Be back soon.

 

 

 

I'll Get Right On That

    DEAREST DIARY I'm thinking it would be nice if I could work in playing Guitar Learning Video Game into new daily routine.  It would be good on almost every criteria that could be measured.  But we'll have to wait and see!  Anyway.  That could be an EVENING activity.  After last walk.  Could be an AFTERNOON activity.  Hmm interesting stuff.  Evening or Afternoon.  I can't get enough of reading this stuff!  Anyway got some coffee left over from Cup 1 which I'll have this act.  I think I left over some coffee yesterday too!  That I eventually finished, but not in the time frame I usually work with.  FASCINATING STUFF.  THIS IS THE GREATEST DIARY I'VE EVER READ.  Wonderful.  NOT having much success re: Gum.  80% of the time I'm still chewing 2 pieces every walk.  OH WELL THAT'S LIFE.  DIARY.  RIGHT DIARY?  DIARY KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
    
I hope.  If diary itself isn't on board with me I'm in a lot of trouble.  Hey sounds great.  Looks like OMICRON has hit New York City.  This is the worst thing to happen to New York City since... I dunno... Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters?  In the end that wasn't even that bad though.  He was causing havoc for what, 20 minutes tops?  Sure it was a shock to the system for that 20 minutes but all in all they got rid of him PRETTY quick.  Anyway.  They could have just reprogrammed him and have an autonomous self aware Thanksgiving Float.  But that acts FOR GOOD.  What else is going on.  Tired of all these Thanksgiving Floats that are Evil.  Not sure why we're promoting them in the first place!  BUCK SHOWALTER speculated as Mets Managerial Candidate.  I like it. I've HEARD of him.  I like the way HIS NAME SOUNDS.  That's about it.  But those two things alone put him above most other candidates.  They can't hire a manager, can they?  That'd be against the Lock Down.  Probably.  Maybe with managerial decisions it's different.  Oh well we have no way of knowing.
    
Wow!  Got Raspberry Snapple for this week.  But still finishing the Lemons from last week.  SO Lemon Iced Tea Patriotism Fact Of The Day... LIZARDS COMMUNICATE BY DOING PUSH UPS.  EXPLAIN YOURSELVES.  A lot of these facts I don't like BUT I feel like if I could read 2 paragraphs further explaining them I WOULD like it.  Lizards doing push ups to communicate as an individual sense is NONSENSE.  But if you tell me what that means I could easily get on board with it and enjoy this experience.  Oh well that's life.  What else is going on.  Finishing cup of coffee #1 with act #2.  WONDERFUL.  Actually now I'm uncomfortable.  I still have half a glass of soda.  And now snapple.  And now coffee.  TOO MUCH.  I thought I'd be HAPPY with so many beverages at armslength.  It's HORRIBLE.  Way too much to handle.  Hmm better finish one of them.  Just chug it.  Soda is best candidate because the other two I wanna really enjoy.  ALRIGHT SODA CHUGGING TIME.  THERE DONE.  Do I feel any happier? ...Hmm.  Yeah!  A little!
    
Penultimate paragraph of the act.  Nice lackadaisical Sunday entry.  What do you mean it's Friday.  Every day is A Lackadaisical Sunday Entry.  That's how I've been operating the last few days at least.  Probably at least since Last Actual Sunday.  Hmm.  How will MLB Lockdown effect Next Year's Generation of Baseball Video Games.  My guess?  HOPEFULLY NOT AT ALL.  I want these video games to be the best they could be.  We can't be putting their quality in jeopardy!  That's IRRESPONSIBLE.  What else is going on.  Also if lockdown never ends MLB Video Games might be the closest thing we can get to actual baseball games.  Hmm sounds fun.  No it doesn't.  Well great ya got me there.  Anyway.  Do I shave Sunday night?  Or wait till next Sunday night.  I like Sunday Nights as a routine.  Just dunno whether it should be weekly or every other week.  DEAR DIARY SAVE ME.  TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU DAMN DEAR DIARY.
    
Last paragraph of the act!  Amazing.  Not a lot of worthwhile stuff in this entry!  But that's what makes it exciting.  OH to be a fly on the wall in Michael's Diary.  That's YOU.  Also why you wanna be a fly on a wall.  I get the wall part.  Sure we'd all love to cling to walls mid-air.  But you could do a lot better than being a fly!  There have been major motion pictures to that effect!  Anyway.  I saw a nickel on the street this past walk and I picked it up because I thought it was a quarter.  GREAT.  Now I have OMICRON.  I wish I could put that NICKEL BACK.  And as if I never picked it up.  It has to be time travel such that I never end up touching it.  Just putting it back next walk after picking it up does me no good.  It does help spread Omicron to the next person, though.  So I guess I'm accomplishing something!  HEY time to take a bath.

 

 

 

Today Turned Out To Be Today

    I assume Omicron is like The Ring where if you give it to someone else then it skips over you and you're safe.  Seems reasonable.  Anyway what did I accomplish during the bath.  Well.  What I expected.  Presumably significantly cleaner than I was before.  We're talkin water washed away a lot.  We're talkin soap and shampoo did its thing.  That's about it!  But that's all you need.  Wonderful.  What do I got in store for today.  Probably a solid 1-2 hours of watching more The Beatles.  That's a lot!  But it's also low enough that I have ~2 more days of similar amount of watching left.  Then I'm back to square one.  Maybe carry that Interest In Music to Video Game Guitar Teacher.  That'd be nice because it's good to do stuff.  That's one of the basic tenets of my life.  Good to do stuff.  Oddly enough I do less stuff than almost anybody.  But that's HOW I KNOW how important it is.
    
Refillin' coffee!  Maybe instead of learning music by video game, I carry the momentum Beatles Documentary has given me in being interested in music straight into making music of my own.  Same problems with that, though.  I'd be wearing HEADPHONES and my parents might need to get in touch with me.  THEN I'M IN A WORLD OF HURT.  Also don't know how to write or play music BUT THAT'S EASY TO FIGURE OUT.  Just do everything BADLY.  Problem Solved.  OR I can just continue doing nothing.  It's not fun.  It's not productive.  It's not even EASY.  But at least it's EASY.  Huh.  Lunches will be AFTER walk #3's.  That's just how it's gonna be.  I crunched the numbers and that's what works.  You'd think it'd be smart to give it a week or two with what routine I think I'm going with to confirm it works.  NAH it'll work.  It looks good on paper.  And things that look good on paper ALWAYS pan out!
     Third paragraph of the act.  Also IT DOES look good on paper.  I wrote it out and the ink was solidly dark enough that I can read it back after having written it.  No barely 1/3rd of necessary ink writing where I can't make out the words.  I CAN READ IT EASILY AND EVERYTHING.  Anyway.  What's today.  Still Friday.  I accepted Super Market delivery just a couple of hours ago!  Feels like that was days ago because Obviously Today Is Sunday.  What else is going on.  As much fun as it is to create a routine you think will last an intermediate amount of time that you're proud of, actually settling into that routine is a chore!  I HAD FUN BEING CREATIVE AND WORKING OUT A LIFE PLAN.  Now actually just doing it is A SNOOZE.  Not engaging at all.  I NEED TO BE PROPERLY ENGAGED.  That sort of thing.
     Yeah!  What else is going on.  Got chocolate babka from Super Market delivery. Not pre-sliced!  Gonna have to do rough estimates of how much I wanna eat at a time which is TERRIBLE.  But let's say I figure out a way to nail the estimates so I'm eating exactly as much as I want?  DELICIOUS BREAKFAST.  Probably.  Never had it from them before.  But HIGH POTENTIAL delicious breakfast.  What else is going on.  It's breakfast because it's CAKE.  Get off my back about it.  HEY lunch is already creeping up.  I think I'm really going to, "Dig," these new arrangements.  Probably.  That was what I was going for while putting together the new arrangements.  That I would, "Dig," each and every one if the new arrangements.  And  REALLY, "dig," them all together combined in a single day.  YEAH!
    
Last paragraph of the day.  What else is going on.  Maybe force myself to play Guitar Video Game a bit.  Just DO IT.  I may not want to but GO FOR IT WHO CARES.  What's the worst that could come of it.  Just play ONE SONG see what happens.  Makes sense.  Gonna have to set up a time that's good for me.  How's SUNDAY.  PERFECT IT'S TODAY.  And always will be.  What else is going on.  Life is pretty good!  I got a routine I think I'll be happy with.  Low stress.  RELATIVELY productive.  Gettin' healthy.  Got PILLS in case I get anxious or something.  Amazing!  PLUS I got over 3 hours left of Watching The Beatles Do Real Cool Beatles Stuff.  Gotta imagine after that runs out I'll find more entertainment that I like.  That's how life works.  ENTERTAINMENT KEEP ON'A COMIN'.  I'll be back tomorrow.

-12:44 P.M.

 

 

 

Thursday, December 2, 2021 

Oh Okay Let's Do This

    Hey!  For some reason I just ate a shit load of cookies after my breakfast.  A LOT!  I dunno what triggered it.  But anyway THIS IS GREAT NEWS.  Can I successfully relatively starve myself for the rest of the day to make Today's Calories A Wash?  I THINK I CAN DO IT!  I'm up to the challenge!  Dinner'll definitely be half a normal dinner.  I can do that.  Lunch will either not exist or be half a lunch.  I CAN DO IT.  LEMME AT IT.  What a great thing I did by eating so many Fiber One Cookies.  Also all that fiber?  That's gonna make things interesting!  Also part of the reason I am somehow enthusiastic about this happening is because I'm high from sugar!  ALSO that I'm really, really full for the first time in a while!  SO MUCH FUN.  The point is YEAH LET'S DO IT.  Normally I don't wanna talk about my meals but it's relevant.  Diner'll either be one slice of pizza or a veggie burger!  Lunch'll either be nothing or a left over Frozen Health Breakfast Sandwich from a year ago when I last got them.
    YEAH.  So I got that going for me.  LOOK I still get to eat 2 meals presumably.  That's not starving oneself.  That's doing great!  Anyway.  Calories being a wash can either mean I lose the baseline of what I normally set out to lose-- around 300 calories.  OR it could mean I lose/gain nothing overall.  I feel like I could accomplish something within that range.  YEAH.  The point is I have re-up with Super Market tomorrow and I have enough soda to last me easy!  Different flavors, too!  OKAY we got through all that.  Now it's time to get into some entertainment.  What am I talking about.  This is the most entertaining I've been in months.  I HAVE A PROBLEM for today.  HILARIOUS.  Anyway.  We're talkin a bunch of Fiber One Chocolate Chunk Cookies.  A couple of Fiber One Oatmeal Raisin.  That's what we're talkin'.  Also other negative thing is now I don't have stock of those cookies.  And I can only get them from Amazon Fresh.  Which we don't get all the time.  Whatta world.
    
Great.  The point is it's healthy because I have a problem and I'm solving it.  Also let's not do this again tomorrow.  Let this be it!  Sounds good to me.  Look I'm going to bed in 12 hours.  THAT'S NOTHIN.  I can get through that easy and start anew after that.  OH NO BASEBALL LOCK OUT HAS HAPPENED.  Still don't know what it means.  But presumably it's not a good thing.  That's the impression I get.  Then again as we've covered today Bad Things are ACTUALLY Good Things.  Because you have to mix things up to solve them.  Which is FUN and PRODUCTIVE and activates Creative parts of your brain.  So basically let's think of a fun and productive and creative way to solve the lock down!  GO.  I'd come up with ideas myself but I don't know what it means!  Also busy thinking about other stuff.  All The Fiber coursing through my blood for one.  Hey what else is going on. 
    I went through this A LOT the first time I gained/lost weight.  Gained about 35 pounds then lost it.  Then after a couple of months of doing good, starting binging on sweets and then skipping meals for entire days and that lasted I guess several weeks or even a month or two.  The point is let's nip it in the bud today!  And I can do it by not skipping meals, too!  EASY AND PRODUCTIVE.  What else is going on.  Watched some of Max Scherzer Introduction To Mets performance.  Ya know what?  He does still look closer to 40 than 25 but I can buy this guy as 37.  It's not that crazy that he is the age he is.  Also?  Doesn't sound like he's 60!  Sounds like he's 37.  So the point is we got a nice 37 year old on our team and that's fine with me.  I hear he's good at throwing the baseball, too!  Everyone in baseball has to throw the baseball at some point and this guy is LITERALLY one of the top half dozen to do that well.
     Anyway.  Same coffee consumption as any other day!  So I got that going for me coming up.  Another reason I'm kind of upbeat despite binging experience is HEY I'M UP.  I got out of bed successfully and I'm not going back!  That's one of the hardest parts of the day.  And I finished and accomplished it!  Cool.  Haven't had a veggie burger in a dog's age.  I can see myself getting something out of it.  There might be Onion in it, though.  Onion isn't good for you these days.  Either because it was recalled for some reason OR because the word is too close to Omicron.  Lots of similar letters in lots of similar orders.  Gotta keep an eye on that before it becomes a situation.  The good news is these veggie burger patties were probably made five years ago so onions were okay then.  Unless they were ANTICIPATING becoming bad 5 years ahead of time.  That doesn't make sense, though.  Unlike everything else I've said.  COFFEE TIME.
     OMICRON IS IN THE UNITED STATES.
  And why wouldn't it be.  We're one of the best places to be!  So many attractions.  There's the GRAND CANYON.  There's MOUNT RUSHMORE.  Off the top of my head that's it but still that's very good already.  Maybe used today's mix-em-up diet as a day to experiment having earlier lunches and dinners.  HMM.  We'll see how I feel when lunch time is coming up.  HMM.  Both cases of Omicron was MILD SYMPTOMS.  MILD?  That's AMAZING.  I got no problem with mild symptoms.  That's how I felt before the booster.  I said I was looking forward to mild symptoms.  Then when I had them I was singing a different tune.  What tune was it.  DAMNIT I can't remember.  Every time I come up with a new tune I can never remember it!  Been a while since I came up with a tune.  Off the top of my head it was maybe 2015.
     Whatever.  About halfway through The Beatles Documentary.  So far they're all still alive.  So I consider that a success and they should too.  I think it's weird that Paul McCartney is dating someone named Linda whose last name I forget.  And he ends up marrying someone named Linda McCartney.  How many Linda's does this guy need to date am I right?!?!  Hmm.  TOPICAL HUMOUR.  What else is going on.  My Mom's name is Linda.  And she I THINK was living in Britain at this time.  Wasn't dating Paul McCartney though.  Probably would have heard about that.  And would have made Paul McCartney send me birthday presents when I was a kid.  And he had to call himself Uncle Paul.  And none of that happened so I guess that's not the way life turned out.  My stomach is starting to hurt.  Didn't see that development coming at all.
   
Anyway.  Is Omicron coming to America like The Beatles Invasion.  And, if not, is it better or worse.  What else is going on.  I feel like my stomach has no right being in pain.  I don't remember giving the OKAY for that.  Anyway.  Max Scherzer may think he's the best pitcher out there but he's gonna have to accept he's #2 on this staff.  Jacob DeGrom has been here longer and thus he's #1.  Seniority counts!  TEAM Seniority.  Not LEAGUE.  That would be CHAOS is it was League Seniority.  The point is we got lots of stars on our team.  Which is good.  They can be friends with each other and support one another.  Just like The Beatles.  They're all stars except for maybe one or two of them but they support one another so it works out.  Hmm at this rate I don't wanna eat anything ever again.  My stomach hurts!  It doesn't mean I won't be HUNGRY ever again.  Just that it will HURT to eat.  Oh well you reap what you sow.  Which is a gardening reference as far as I can tell.  Anyway eight paragraphs about nothing.  PERFECT.
    
What else is going on.  What can I Eat today in terms of entertainment.  Watch more of The Beatles Documentary.  Which, if nothing else, so far has inspired me to spell Documentary right on purpose each time I say it.  A lot of the time I know how to spell a word but just don't care enough to get it right.  Eh I'll just half-ass it and spell-check'll help me later.  Nope!  I'm gonna do it right from the get-go now because that's the kind of writer I am these days.  Hmm.  Can I check the Day National Food Day Of The Day or will that be too triggering.  Nah let's check it out.  BUSINESS OF POPPING CORN DAY and NATIONAL FRITTERS DAY.  We're celebrating the BUSINESS of popcorn.  Okay.  Great!  Be industrious see if I care.  Also, fritters?  Not sure what that means but I don't like it!  LOOK I may have ate 800 calories in Fiber Snacks within 10 minutes BUT The baseball lockdown is going on so it's not all bad!
    
What else is going on.  They said they hope it'll be over by the time games start.  THAT'S IN 2-4 months!  I was anticipating this be over in HOURS OR DAYS.  This is no good.  What can I do to help.  I'd like to jump in and offer my services.  Tell me how I can help!  Unless it's Eat More Fiber.  Because that might be delicious BUT It'd make me feel bad AND ALSO running low on Fiber Snacks!  So if that's your solution MOVE ALONG the lockdown will just have to continue.  Anyway.  Stomach Lockdown for today.  Not sure if that's good or bad.  SOUNDS BAD.  But that's the life I chose to lead today.  I thought I was binging because it's fun to eat sugar.  NOPE.  Because I subconsciously wanted a Stomach Lockdown Day.  Interesting.  Hope it works out for the best!  WARM outside today.  Hope it works out for the best!  SO FAR IT IS.  I GET A KICK OUT OF IT.  Anyway this act went by quickly because Nothing Happened.  Gotta imagine something might happen in a little bit with the next act.  I'll be back!
    

 

 

 

I've Got Other Ideas

    Possible Lessons for today -- (1) eating cookies isn't that good.  Based on today I'm starting to train my body eating cookies leads to stomach aches.  Who wants stomach aches.  Nobody.  Ya don't need cookies.  More importantly (2) maybe move up Meal Eating Times NOW and not at some point in intermediate future.  If I knew I was having lunch at 2:00 and not 4:30 maybe my body wouldn't be like hey well we're eating right now breakfast better get some more in while we can.  IT'S GONNA BE A WHILE.  Basically my premise for living life is every time something bad happens, usually because of my own behavior, gotta be a lesson in it!  Gotta be a way to turn it into a positive.  And my thinking is Sooner Meals to make today worthwhile.  SOUNDS FUN.  Real fun!  How's the lockdown doing.  Nobody has consulted me one way or the other.  I don't see how they'll ever reach an impasse without my participation.  So by not engaging me they're basically just admitting they don't want to make progress.
     Hmm.  What else is going on.  Maybe No Lunch but Just A Bit Smaller Dinner.  So I have something to look forward to in the day.  Basically a regular sized dinner.  PIZZA.  Pizza is JUST THE THING that could make today real great.  I go to bed later hey I ate a good amount of pizza today was actually pretty good.  Well goodnight moon, good night cats over the moon, all that stuff.  What else is going on.  Lunch will still be after Entry.  After entry will be Walk #3 and then lunch will be when I get home.  What if I need to use oven for lunch.  Then I start it before I leave.  CLEVER.  VERY INGENUITY.  Sure it is.  Just means I need to be more consistent with writing entry times.  Gotta make sure I end entries on time to be able to do all that.  GREAT.  Consistency never hurt anybody.  WHICH IS ABOUT TO BE PUT TO THE TEST with all the fiber clogging up my organs.  Business of Popping Corn.  C'mon.  What's the DEAL with things.
     Yeah!  A little concerned that the Beatles just instinctively know exactly what to do with music to make it the best.  They make it look easy for themselves.  HOW DARE THEM.  Kinda want them to break up?  Out of spite?  We'll see how that goes I'm not done with the documentary yet.  Stomach is still hurting.  GREAT.  I just need my stomach to continue hurting another six and a half hours and that'll carry me until dinner time.  NEW dinner time.  No time like the present to start having meals at new times. DINNER AT 7:00 PM?  IT'S OUT THERE BUT I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.  I'm a little concerned The Beatles aren't eating dinner together in a cafeteria type setting.  They seem to be clocking out of the studio at 7 PM or a little after.  Probably to go eat dinners individually or with loved ones.  Or in Ringo Starr's case Individually.  BURN.  I'm sure Ringo Starr has got plenty of loved ones.  WAY PLENTY.  BURN.
     Penultimate paragraph of the act!  Amazing.  This documentary is before Ringo Starr started wearing sunglasses.  Now when I picture him he's always in sunglasses.  So that's an interesting element of this documentary.  Anyway.  Pizza is a good meal to look forward to because it has all the elements of a Health Meal.  Hmm not feeling well?  Eat some pizza that'll set your stomach at ease.  None of the ingredients INDIVIDUALLY get you there.  In fact they're the opposite!  Cheese can't be good for your hurt stomach.  But somehow TOGETHER Pizza feels like a good thing to eat if you're under the weather.  What the Hell am I talking about.  I like Pizza.  Oh okay now I get it.  Hmm.  What am I supposed to do all day if Not Think About Next Thing I'm Eating.  I can still think about next think I'm eating.  It will just be Further Away.  Oh okay that's fun.  CHANGED NEW THING FROM SUPER MARKET ORDER FROM CINNAMON BABKA TO CHOCOLATE BABKA.  Oh okay that's fun.  REAL FUN.
    
Last paragraph of the act.  This is why we don't talk about lunches an dinners.  Once we get started That's The Entire Entry.  Oh well that's life.  Need an entry once in a while about what I'm eating.  Keeps things FRESH.  I feel like today's Shower Circumstance to keep me FRESH will be a Bating Experience.  Wonderful!  Looks like they're gonna overturn Roe Versus Wade.  This is great news!  I'm not sure for who.  I imagine someone's life will improve because o this.  I can't pinpoint that person.  Oh politicians ore media figures or religious leaders or people who somehow make money or gain power by riling people up about this.  So that's something I guess.  Gotta imagine at some point we're gonna have a Minority Report about abortion.  As soon as someone thinks about having sex which may possibly lead to someone thinking about having an abortion THEY'RE ARRESTED.  Thanks to Pre-Cogs!  Damn Pre-Cogs.  I'd like to ABORT THEM GOOD.  Anyway time for Bath.  Be back soon.

 

 

 

I Don't Know About That One

    Hey!  Time to wrap up the entry.  Last week on Thursday I had NO entry.  Today I had TERRIBLE entry.  It's up to you which is preferable!  Hmm that's a tough one.  Speaking for myself.. hmm.. I dunno speaking for myself.  I also don't know speaking for you.  I know that even less!  Who knows what goes on in your mind you crazy person.  Last week I had Expendables II and III to keep me going throughout the day.  What do I have today.  3 or 4 hours of Beatles Get Back.  Beatles are kind of like The Expendables.  Except Entertaining.  What else is going on.  I could end up the day no worse for wear caloriewise.  Be just about what I would have been on a normal day.  AMAZING.  It's ALL benefit.  Learnt not to eat too many cookies.  Learnt to eat meals earlier!  WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS YOU GET CRACKING ON WHY LEMONS ARE GOOD SOMEHOW IN THE END.  That's my philosophy.  Also NOT THAT HARD to figure out how lemons are good.  People use lemons all the time and love it!  What the Hell is this adage trying to say.
     What else is going on.  Also LIFE NEVER HANDED ME NOTHIN'.  Everything I got I HAD TO WORK FOR.  Not 100% accurate.  In fact close to 100% inaccurate.  I had to work for very little for what I've gotten in life!  Good for me.  Been working out so far.  I think it's weird that the remaining Beatles don't just make a bunch of Beatles Quality Songs.  It's easy for you.  I can see that.  Just do it you idiots.  What are you dumb or something.  That's my hot take.  Or AT THE VERY LEAST use your power and influence to end the Baseball Lock Out.  Just do SOMETHING.  Other than releasing your solo albums every other year.  Yeah we get it THEY'RE OKAY.  We WANT MORE.  I can only imagine the reason Paul McCartney hasn't made or released enough classic songs lately is that every day he eats seven Fiber One cookies and feels bad, physically and emotionally, for the rest of the day.  LOOK WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.  You just gotta get over it!
    Also I poke fun at Ringo Starr a lot but would I join a band where he's the drummer?  Yeah, probably!  Except I feel he'd usurp me in every other instrument too and vocals and song writing.  Pretty soon it'd just be The Ringo Show because turns out I have VERY LITTLE TO OFFER.  Anyway just got coffee and Snapple.  Lemon Iced Tea Patriotism Fact Of The Day--  Brain Waves Can Power An Electric Train.  I think I saw that one before but it was an off-entry one.  Either way why stop there.  Why specifically electric trains and not other electric things.  Because brains are in tune with trains.  It's just a match made in Heaven Brain Waves and Public Transportation.  WHOEVER SAID IT WAS PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.  Could be a private train.  Hmm.  But if I'm powering a private train gotta imagine I'm making some coin on the deal.  Whereas I'd do a public train for free as a public service because that's just the kind of guy I am.
     Penultimate paragraph!  Also kinda not sure why we're using oil if we can power things with brains?  Maybe we'd be using too much of our brains on transportation.  Our brainwaves will be depleted for other stuff we wanna use them for!  We power a train for an hour and the other 23 hours of the day we're drooling idiots who are out of commission.  Makes sense.  That's life for ya!  Anyway.  Looking forward to early dinner today.  By which I mean Very Standard Average Time To Have Dinner.  Also I have it WHEN IT GETS HERE from restaurant.  Presumably not heating it up in oven or microwave most of the time depending on what it is.  I'm having this Meal as God Intended.  Not like those other times when I save it for a couple of hours and re-heat it.  GOD NEVER INTENDED THAT.  IT'S A BLASPHEMY AND AN AFFRONT TO GOD.  Hmm if he felt that way he should have said so.  I didn't realize he was that much against it!
     Last paragraph of the day.  Thursday huh.  That's great.  Not a fun day but hopefully productive in that I Learn Lessons which turn out to be Positive Lessons that I Successfully Take With Me through intermediate length of time in life.  It COULD happen.  Also fifteen paragraphs.  Gotta imagine that if you enjoy this website somehow you get SOMETHING out of even shit like this.  AMAZING.  I got you right where I want you!  ALMOST JUST BARELY ENTERTAINED.  Hmm.  I need a job.  I've been hearing that the Business of Popping Corn is BOOMING!  It's a pun.  Because you can say Popping Corn is kind of like the corn kernel BOOMING.  You don't ACTUALLY say that but you can imagine and accept how someone who doesn't know English might say that by accident.  Oh okay great.  Anyway that'll do it for today.  Be back tomorrow!

-1:42 P.M.

 

 

 

Wednesday, December 1, 2021 

Let Me Look Into That

    Hey friends.  Checked weight for first time in a month.  Much lower than I anticipated!  Probably partly because I lost more weight than I gave myself credit for and partly because Scale Is Getting Even More Inaccurate.  Either way I look in the mirror and can TELL I'm almost getting to practically mostly where I want to be essentially.  THIS ISN'T BIG NEWS FOR YOU OR ENTERTAINING.  But it's big news for me and ya know what?  VERY entertaining!  I'm entertained a lot by the fact I'm done dieting at the end of the year and only fine tuning for 1-3 months after that.  It FASCINATES and DELIGHTS me.  Hmm.  In the mean time though HEY DECEMBER.  Watched some more of Beatles Get Back.  Still not up to the part where Paul McCartney writes Baby Got Back.  I just finished Part I of III!
     Anyway.  Just popped open a can of Black Cherry.  Only got six for the week so this is a RARE TREAT.  Treats are a Well Done Rarely Medium Well.  That old thing.  Ugh.  LOOK I Don't care if scale is 5 pounds off.  As long as it's CONSISTENT.  And I feel like it's not consistent anymore!  Can't trust it to determine how much I'm losing.  WHATTA GYP IS THE POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE.  And my parents aren't on board with getting a new one!  I don't get why this is a problem.  How much can it be.  20 dollars?  JUST GET A NEW ONE YOU IDIOTS.  Oh My Dad goes I LIKE IT WHEN IT'S LOWER.  What are you AN IDIOT?  You see a number, KNOW IT'S TOO LOW, and it makes you happy?  YOU IDIOT.  FEEL THE OTHER WAY.  You see a number and you're happy for a second and then it kicks in I'M MORE WEIGHT THAN THIS and that makes you permanently feel bad.  That's how you SHOULD feel if you weren't an IDIOT.
    Huh.  The point is most likely whatever my weight is I probably wanna lose another 5 pounds.  BUT I NEED NUMBER CONTEXTS.  THIS IS TERRIBLE.  Can life get any worse?  Life is a burnt best chilled over easy.  Yep that checks out I guess.  Also I WANNA BE AT A WEIGHT DIVISIBLE BY FIVE.  Imagine all the theoretical conversations I have when someone is like how much do you weigh.  I don't wanna say I WEIGH 118 POUNDS.  I wanna be able to say I weigh 115 pounds.  Or as a back up 120 pounds.  Maybe 118 pounds is exactly what I should be but 115 would be SO much better based on all these conversations I'm having.  I say 118 in conversation and that brings up too many questions in the mind of the other person I'm talking to.  What if I say, "I weigh 115, 120 pounds."  That's no good.  Then the other person will be like WELL WHICH IS IT 115 or 120.  YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.
   
Whatta asshole.  Anyway what else is going on.  DROZ IS RUNNING FOR SENATE.  Also it's implied that you should pronounce that as one syllable DROZZ.  That's the joke.  I don't get it either.  But if I say it's a joke then it's a joke.  My website my rules.  Anyway.  The point is what else is going on in the wide world of sports.  I saw a new Snapple Patriotism Fact the other day while drinking an Evening Snapple.  Something about the Statue Of Liberty's feet.  Like The Statue Of Liberty's Shoe Size is 969 or something.  I guess compared to a regular shoe size.  Also whatever the real number was I was like NOT IMPRESSED.  I'd have thought even more.  This size is actually pretty reasonable for a shoe size for a statue.  Anyway.  Let's check the National Day of the Food Day.  Worldwide Food Service Safety Month, Eat a Red Apple Day, and National Peppermint Bark Day.  Not on board with Food Service Safety.  Oddly not on board with eating a red apple even though I like them.  ON BOARD with Peppermint Bark.  Never had it but GREAT HOOK ME UP.
     Ugh.  Red Apples are too healthy!  I think they're great and I should eat them more but I don't like the fact that I get nutrients out of it.  If it's not unhealthy what am I really getting out of what I'm eating?  Gotta ask yourself that!  Anyway so far my favorite part of The Beatles Documentary is there's a shot on Day 2 or 3 of the making of the album of just a bunch of half sandwiches lined up.  You can just grab a half sandwich at will and eat it!  And there's still plenty left for other people or Guess What maybe you want A SECOND Half Sandwich no one is gonna say a thing!  Eat them sandwiches.  DELICIOUS.  I think there was something else with it but I can't remember.  A snack or coffees or something.  Maybe I'm just thinking of More Half Sandwiches.  Yes that must be it.  I saw half sandwiches and then I also saw another group of things that was more half sandwiches that were exactly the same.  OF COURSE.
    Got coffee going on.  OF COURSE.  Feel more like A MAN drinking Coffier Coffee.  Yesterday I was putting enough cream in it that it was comfortably less calories but still tasted cream.  Today just a splash and it tastes like BLACK Coffee.  Sorry DARK Coffee.  Either way this is fun because I'm A Big Man Drinking Coffee Coffee BUT in general I'm comfortable drinking slightly more cream like I was doing yesterday.  Hmm.  Interesting.  Also I'm A Small Man because I put in eight packets of AS (Artificial Sweetener) into this one cup of coffee.  That's actually two Cup Units of coffee.  But I consider it one cup.  So do you.  Probably!  I'd recommend you do.  Hmm what kind of sandwiches were available to The Beatles.  Gotta know!  Also I'm guessing a lot of those sandwiches went uneaten.  Where are they now?  Are they still fresh?  That depends on what kind of sandwich they are I guess!
     Anyway.  Kinda makes me wanna be in a band and make a high profile big production album.  Be supplied with some nice sandwiches.  I don't even have to ASK for them.  They just PUT THEM there on their own.  Amazing.  What else is going on.  Seventh paragraph!  I guess.  Just noticed on the TOP of the snapple bottle tops they say you've got great taste.  Well OF COURSE you're gonna say so.  It's your product I'm buying and presumably consuming.  I can't take this compliment at face value because you're clearly biased in what you're telling me.  Hmm.  What else is going on.  Got some more Beatles to watch today.  I like it because it's TV but also it's Good Somehow.  An interesting combination!  Very interesting.  Haven't heard Max Scherzer speak about being on the Mets yet.  In fact I haven't heard Max Scherzer speak about anything.  I can only imagine he talks like a 60 year old.  Based on what he looks like.  How do 60 year olds talk.  In current era probably like middle aged people.  In past generations probably more like the elderly.  What generation is Max Scherzer from.  Gonna guess Current Era.
     Sure.  Wonderful.  The point is The Beatles seem to know what they're doing.  Really well!  I think they've got this music thing down pat pretty well.  That's my main takeaway so far.  My only suggestion is they decide to make more music after this album.  I'm under the impression this is their last one.  But as long as I'm not finished watching the documentary everything isn't set in stone yet.  So make more music!  Also tell John Lennon to wear a bulletproof vest in 1980.  I dunno the exact day.  Just have him do it all year to play it safe.  Was he SHOT to death.  Or some other thing.  Better LTURQ.  YEP Shot in 1980.  December 8th!  Anniversary coming up.  Oh well that's life.  NOT FOR HIM IT ISN'T.  Interesting counterpoint.  Apparently John Lennon Assassinator was a religious guy.  Didn't like the Bigger Than Jesus comment.  Didn't realize that.  Really came back to bite him in the ass!  That's what you get when you say things flippantly.  SHOT TO DEATH.  OH NO.  I'm going to be shot to death MANY MANY times over based on that.  Oh well what can ya do.
    
Penultimate paragraph of the act.  Only a jerk would shoot a celebrity to death.  A GENTLEMAN (and/or LADY) would propose a DUEL.  Let's keep everything above board.  Give your subject a chance to defend themselves.  It's only fair.  Also gotta imagine they're allowed to deny the duel.  Nah I think I'm okay with no dueling.  Let's just say you won.  Well Done.  Then there's nothing the duel proposer can do!  But they DID win the battle of honor.  So they got that going for them.  Huh.  You can get a nice great bathroom scale for 15-30 dollars.  JUST AS I SUSPECTED.  Maybe if I push this on my parents pretty hard they'll relent.  Also my birthday is coming up.  Could be a birthday present.  But then NO SHARING.  They don't get to use my New Great Accurate Scale.  It's my birthday present I can do with it what I like.  What about A Channukah Present.  Well it's still MINE technically but in the spirit of the season I'll share it AS LONG AS CHANNUKAH LASTS.  Which it probably will be over by the time I get this present.  Well next year they get another 8 day window to use it again.  So it works out for everybody!
     Last paragraph of the act.  KIND OF don't like how the new bathroom scales don't round to the nearest .5 pounds.  They seem to round to the nearest .1!  TOO MUCH EXACTITUDE.  Kinda throws me off a bit.  Maybe I could grow to prefer it but as of now it seems strange and scary to me.  HMM if it's my scale I guess I'd be keeping it in my bathroom.  Not sure I'm comfortable with that.  Could clunk up the feng shui I got going.  What else is going on.  Looks like a warmer day today.  Compared to other days.  Colder days.  Not compared to warmer days.  Wonderful.  Top notch quality entertainment jokes.  Anyway.  DAMNIT.  What was the thing they had set up besides the half sandwiches.  It was another good thing.  SUN CHIPS?  No that can't be it.  DORITOS?  No I feel like it was healthier than Doritos.  SOME SORT OF BAG THAT COMBINES SUN CHIPS AND DORITOS?  Look we don't even have the technology for that NOW in REAL CURRENT LIFE.  They definitely didn't have that 50 years ago!  Huh.  I'm gonna take a break now.  Be back soon!

 

 

 

I'll Get Back To You

    What's going on.  I know Paul McCartney becomes vegetarian at some point.  Does that effect the sandwiches he's being provided AS PART OF THE GROUP in 1969?  Gonna have to look into that one.  Internet says only since the late 1970's he's been vegetarian.  That's a relief.  He can enjoy these sandwiches real well.  Some sort of Baseball Thing is happening.  Something about the players and unions versus the owners and whatnot.  I don't have all the details but there's a LOCKDOWN coming.  Not sure what that means exactly.  In prison it means you have to return to your cells and you don't get any special treats for a while.  I assume it's something similar in this situation.  Wait it's a Lock OUT not a Lock Down.  Well what does that mean.  Means you're locked OUT of your cells.  Stuck in prison common area and you can't go to your personal cell even if you wanted to!  Not sure what that means re: Getting Treats though.
     Anyway.  OH HEY time to turn the page on Patriotism Calendar.  Let's get that done.  New Patriotism Phrase is America!  America!  God shed his grace on thee.  I heard that before.  I'm REAL familiar with that part of this song.  It's The HOOK.  Anyway Patriot Days.  What Patriot Days we got this month.  Pearl Harbor Day and Kwanzaa.  Great.  Kwanzaa is the same day as Boxing Day in Canada.  Not sure if they go hand in hand thematically and/or always fall on the same day.  Don't know much about Boxing Day!  Don't know much about Kwanzaa.  And there's no way to find out about either of them unfortunately.  I'd use the internet but you know.  Don't wanna get involved with THAT.  Internet causes nothing but problems.  The less I deal with the internet the better!  DAMNIT.  I GOTTA KNOW ABOUT BOXING DAY AT LEAST.  Fine let's look that up right quick.  Oh.  It's a Christmas Thing.  The day after Christmas.  Kind of a let down.  Not very exciting at all.  Top google question searching, "Boxing Day," is "WHAT IS THE POINT OF BOXING DAY?"  And the point is Originally it was a day to give servants the day off.  Wonderful.  And they used that day off to set up round robin boxing tournaments.  Wonderful.
     Hey great what else.  Put together order for upcoming Super market delivery.  Delicious!  I can imagine eating half of those things and having a blast doing it.  The other half is soda.  I like soda but I don't think I get a blast out of it at this point.  Drink it too often!  Although Blast! would be a fun soda brand name.  I'd buy stock in it!  ALL THE STOCK.  Now I'm primary stakeholder of BLAST!  Finally I'M calling the shots.  What else is going on.  I feel like my Mother's Father was born on Pearl Harbor Day or died on Pearl Harbor day.  I may just be thinking of He Was In World War II.  So Pearl Harbor day was relevant to him.  Because it was like oh shit gotta get some people in the army RIGHT QUICK.  And he was one of those people!  Maybe!  Dunno how Right Quick they got around to him.  HIS BUSINESS NOT MINE.
    
What else is going on.  Penultimate paragraph of the act!  Amazing.  Thinking about next month presumably when diet is relaxed Mixing Up Times To Eat Meals.  Right now I've been having 4:30 lunches and 9:30 dinners.  NOW I'm thinking lunches around 2:00-2:300 and dinners around 7:00-7:30.  Join the rest of Civilized Society with these times.  Look it's not INSANE to eat very late lunches and dinners.  It's been done and will continue to be done.  But I feel like people will accept me more as One Of Them, An Everyman, if I eat meals at these new times.  Also I can figure out a daily routine what with walks and chores and fun stuff to work around those times.  It could be great!  We'll look into that next month.  Amazing.  WHAT A PARAGRAPH.  THE DUDE MIGHT EAT LUNCH AT A DIFFERENT TIME.  THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I'VE EVER READ.  And I've read upwards of THIRTY THINGS.
    
Hey well done and whatnot.  Shower circumstance coming up.  I can do that no problem.  Totally.  ESPN has a headline The Orioles have agreed to a one-year deal with Rougned Odor.  Sounds like a side effect of an STD.  The guy's name not the Orioles.  Or the one-year deal part.  If only I knew how to pronounce Rougned.  That would make this joke all the better.  AND OR WORSE.  Hey great what else is going on.  What were the upwards of 30 things you've read.  I'm curious about what company I'm keeping.  Gotta imagine some Herman Melville in there.  Me & Melville are like peas in a pod.  By which I mean peas exist inside pods or something.  Together with other peas.  Not sure what a pea is, not sure what a pod is!  I know I don't like them cuisine-style.  The point is hey I'm gonna take a bath now!  Be back soon.  Maybe start experimenting with early meals NOW.  Could be fun.  Be back soon.  Real fun.  Be back soon.  Could be great.  Be back soon.  I'm excited.  Be back soon.

 

 

 

Only Time Will Tell

    NO!  UPDATE!  I will not adjust meal times until next month.  Unless I can start eating more calories for snacks THE MATH DOESN'T ADD UP.  Oh well such is life.  What else is going on in the wide world of sports.  A lot of stuff.  Not good stuff.  So you're saying the world is shitty getting shittier.  Yep more or less.  Hmm I don't like the sound of that.  Better tune it out!  Then I can't hear it anymore.  Then I Hear Nothing.  Wonderful replacement for Bad.  Nothing beats out Negative Things 10 times out of 10!  Maybe nine times out of ten.  Maybe even as low as seven times out of ten.  I haven't actually crunched the numbers or anything.  Kind of just guessing off the top of my head.  Lemon Iced Tea Patriotism Fact Of The Day-- Beavers were once the size of bears.  Good.  I'm glad.  Over the moon about that.  I can't get enough of it!
     What else is going on.  Been a while since I played Guitar Video Game.  Kind of didn't like how it made me feel like I don't know how to play guitar at all.  Kind of didn't like how it took 45 seconds to load up after I inserted the disc and turned the power on.  Kind of didn't like how sometimes if I wanted to play different songs I'd have to change the tuning of my guitar.  Main three reasons I kind of didn't like doing it and thus stopped.  In order of significance.  But they're all important in their own special way.  What else is going on.  Big Boy Coffee coming up in a few sentences.  ALRIGHT.  Finally I Am An Adult.  I was wondering what the thing would be that would push me over the edge.  Turns out it's coffee that's not without cream but with just a bit of cream.  Funny how life works out.
    Probably.
  Three more paragraphs to go.  I have a good feeling about the rest o the day!  I have a Klonopin I can take which will make me feel slightly better for a solid 1.5-2 hour period.  I'll totally just be doing some dumb stuff which is the same dumb stuff I'd do anyway but in the background I will feel less anxious!  WOW.  DID YOU SAY 1.5-2 HOURS?  THAT'S SIGNIFICANT.  Sure.  Also it makes me less anxious AFTER it wears off.  I have less Built Up Anxiety that's clogging up my imagination.  I start All New Anxiety but there's a time where the Anxiety Reservoir has been emptied.  Hmm sounds good.  What else is going on.  OH NO There might be a baseball lock out!  If I knew what that meant I'd be anxious about it!  No I wouldn't.  What do I care.  I guess there's a 1.5-2% chance that it is something that I would care about and would legitimately make me anxious.  Because I don't know what it is!  But I'm pretty confident it's not something that will effect my life.  PRETTY pretty confident.
     Penultimate paragraph!  Going back to Raspberry Snapple upcoming Super market order.  See!  Trying new things sometimes pays off.  Sometimes it's better than the old thing.  That's the kind of thing I'm talkin' about.  I can't have lunch at 2:00-2:30 today.  IT IS 2:00-2:30!  Busy doing this and then busy taking a walk.  Also-- not Lunch hungry!  I could eat some Animal Cancer Crackers sure.  But I don't want a MEAL what are you crazy.  Anyway what else is going on.  First day of December.  Does that mean anything tangible to anyone.  Or more appropriately To Me.  What do I care if it means something to someone else.  I'm not them!  I'm someone else than someone else!  What Does December First Mean To Me -- a second grade essay by Michael WhateverMyLastNameIs.  That's a TERRIBLE title.  It's a question!  Albeit without the question mark.  But it should be a DECLARATIVE STATEMENT.  I'm getting out my Red Pen to deal with grading this essay.  NOT A GREAT START.
    
Last paragraph of the day.  I'd have my red pen out anyway.  What, if it was a better title, I'd take out a blue pen and just use the pen to praise and compliment Well Dones in the paper?  No I need a red pen either way to point out accidents and mistakes and oops-em-ups.  What else is going on.  Why am I grading my own paper.  For convenience sakes!  Also not enough teachers to go around.  Not enough in the budget!  Students need to teach themselves now.  Oh okay.  That's one way to look at it.  The other way is that Teachers need to be their own Students.  Hmm.  Gonna have to think about that one.  I GOT NO ONE ELSE TO TEACH.  I GOTTA TEACH MYSELF NOW.  PRESUMABLY WHAT I ALREADY KNOW.  Sounds about right.  Hey the entry is over now.  I'll be back tomorrow!

-2:15 P.M.

 

 

 

 

     

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