September 21, 2021
Maybe I Could Try Harder
Hello friends. Here to write some more pharagraphs. That's great
news! I was worried I was Dead and couldn't do anything ever again.
Not sure where I got that impression. Not even sure I did get
that impression! I could easily be lying! The point is I woke up
today to a house all by myself. Dad took Mom to Eye Doctor Check Up!
Good news! She can see Great Just Great now! Way more great than
before. Also FINALLY I get some time to myself. I've been
waiting to masturbate in the kitchen FOR YEARS. I guess.
Hmm. Last time I masturbated in the house not in my room or bathroom.
GO. When I was very young I had masturbated in Den watching TV
while everyone was asleep. We're talkin' 20 years ago. Dunno if
I've Broke That Record at any point in the last two decades, though.
Seems like kind of a big oversight. Especially because
kitchen really gets me off.
Anyway. Drank enough water over the last two
days that I MAY DEFINITELY make this soda last all this week! I just
need to drink A LITTLE BIT MORE water over the next three days.
Hardly any! Easy! What else. Been taking 7 walks a
day the last half a week or more. Possibly as much as 2/3rds of a
week! Either way it's wonderful. Now's not the time In Diet to
slow down now's the time to speed up! I'm reaching a second wind or
something! I don't know what winds mean but they sound like a positive
thing re: when you're running for a while. Oh I get it it helps you
run. You're running and it's hard. But then there's WIND going
in your direction and you can keep moving with hardly any effort. Wind
is blowing you along by itself. Sounds amazing to me. Sounds
better than amazing. Sounds great! Great isn't better than
amazing. Depends on the circumstance! Sure why not.
What else. Canada held their elections.
No spoilers but the guy I had heard of won. That's a pretty big
spoiler. Oh well serves you right for putting off Knowing Who Won
Canada Elections for too long. What did you expect?! Anyway.
Elections? IN SEPTEMBER? Now I've heard of everything!
That's not true. Even with this, I've heard of VERY FEW things. Of all
things in the world, I'm lucky if I've heard of 5% of them. Let's talk
about it! And that's the way I like it. Most things are
none of my business! Keep me out of it. I live close to Canada.
This is my business! I believe Niagara Falls starts in Canada on the
high part and then after the waterfall that's where America starts.
I don't actually believe that but I do believe that SHOULD be accurate.
Sounds fun to me. Waterfall. I can't get enough of waterfalls!
Why do we need a word for water fall. How often is that gonna come up.
It just came up JUST NOW. Yeah but nobody cares.
Fourth paragraph! I don't believe it.
Tomorrow is the first day of Fall. The month! Not the second
part of the word Waterfall! Either way amazing. Gotta imagine
I'll start wearing Sweatshirt Jacket within the next couple of weeks for
walks. AMAZING. IT HAS POCKETS. I dunno about that.
Putting hands in pockets is FUN but then I'm burning less calories.
Instead of shuffling my arms back and forth they are now STATIONARY.
SO there's ups and downs to everything. Except for plateaus.
Let's talk about it. Also with jacket I get to put hood up over my
head. That'll show people I mean business! Also if it rains now
we're really talkin! My head ain't gonna be getting wet AT ALL.
Maybe A LITTLE BIT. But SIGNIFANTLY LESS. That
sort of thing. Anyway. For some reason I don't wear glasses when
I take my walk. Oh wait I know why. I was taking a walk in the
evening back when I first started taking walks this year and I had glasses
on and I was looking at the lights of traffic lights and whatnot and they
appeared blurry and confusing. Something with the lenses made it
weird. I DON'T NEED WEIRD LIGHTS DISTRACTING ME. I GOT PLACES
Cool. Gonna pour some coffee after this
paragraph. Roughly a cupsworth. I guess. I don't know what
a cup is. Wait yes I do. Moving on! What if there
were hoods that you could wear that aren't attached to jackets. You
mean HATS? No I mean hoods you idiot. It's a hood! Not
a hat! How would it stay on. That's for THEM to figure
out. Either way I'm full of great ideas. Like that one!
And presumably one day I'll come up with a second and third one!
What about a jacket without a hood. What's the point in that?
That makes no sense. What the Hell, that's the dumbest thing I've ever
heard in my life. Which is KIND OF accurate. What I just
said IS one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life. Just not
in the way I meant it! There I go again! Whatever.
Let's say ONE worthwhile thing. This paragraph.
Albright. Let's do it. Maybe later. I'm not giving
up completely on writing a worthwhile thing. I'm just saying NOT
RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT. What else is going on. I got coffee.
I got snapple. That's all I got going on for me. That and I'm 5
paragraphs into the entry. That's not bad! I mean, the
paragraphs are bad. But the idea of me only having to write 3 more of
what I already did is pretty good! Because I like being done with
doing stuff! That sort of thing! Ugh. I feel like I'd be
playing Rocksmith twice as much if it didn't take a solid 45 seconds to
load. From the time I turn on console to the time I reach main menu--
roughly 45 seconds. I GOT THINGS TO DO I CAN'T WASTE TIME HERE.
What if I just leave it on all the time when I'm not using it.
THAT'S A WASTE OF ENERGY. ELECTRICAL ENERGY. And I don't
play that game! Maybe I do sometimes! It's a fun game!
Wow. Also Xbox 360 emits a HUM I believe. I
can't live my life with a hum going on. I don't play that game!
Hmm maybe that's why I'm bad at this game. Can't focus on
playing the right guitar notes because of that HUM going on distracting me.
Hmm. Am I POSITIVE that the hum isn't just part of the songs.
And that all the songs on the game HAPPEN to have the exact same hum in the
background of them? No that's not possible. The hum comes
from the console itself not the TV Speakers. Oh okay. For a
while I thought that might be the explanation. Now I realize it can't
be. OR COULD IT. No it can't be. OH OKAY.
What else is going on. HMM. HUM. I don't play the HUM
game but I play the HMM game All The Time! One of my favorite games!
What else is going on. Lots of stuff. I dunno I'm gonna
have to look into that one.
Eighth paragraph! I don't believe it! I
think The Mets are dumb because if they had just won 3 or 5 more games this
season that they actually lost they'd be in the thick of playoff contention.
How hard is that? Pretty hard. Oh Okay. What else
is going on. I was watching a The Twilight Zone episode yesterday
where the guy wanted to go back in time to prevent certain atrocities or
catastrophes or whatever and one of them was I MUST STOP PRESIDENT
GARFIELD FROM BEING ASSASSINATED. Look I barely knew there was a
President Garfield. And even less than that did I know he was
assassinated. The point is I think there's better ways to spend your
time than on President Garfield. Also am I exaggerating his
determination to save Garfield? A little bit! I'm fudging
the plot a little bit but it's, I dunno, 80% accurate. If only people
in President Garfield's time had the same indifference to him as I do.
Then no one would want to kill him. Who cares! Not Us!
Ninth paragraph. I guess. Gotta write the
next two paragraphs in 13 minutes. I made arrangements with My Dad Re:
when we will be taking walks. And he needs me to hurry this up for
some reason I don't fully understand. I guess he has some place to go
later on in the day. Sounds about right. I remember him saying
something about that earlier. I forget what. Probably That.
What he said wasn't About What He Said but rather What He Said.
That makes no sense to anyone. I get it a little bit but there's
no way anyone else can make sense of that. That's probably a recurring
theme of this website! I happened to be reading a paragraph yesterday
from yesterday's entry and I came upon a few sentences that I was like I
don't remember what this means! And without knowing it because I wrote
it there's no way I can know it from an outside perspective because there's
no logic to these sentences. So there's that.
Last paragraph of the act! Wonderful.
I guess. Finishing up coffee #1. That's great. I like the
taste of it and presumably I like the kick it gives me. I can't say
for sure I get a kick out of it but that's the assumption I've been
operating under. What else is going on. Gonna go to
Endocrinologist in a week and a half or so. Get some endocrine stuff
checked out. Probably. Gotta figure they'll do something while
I'm there to justify the excursion. Might as well check out my
endocrine! Anyway. Maybe I can get Flu Shot! Is it too
early for Flu Shot. I'll get a Flu Shot if I can sure why not.
All things being equal I like getting shots. Even if all things aren't
equal I like getting shots. ESPECIALLY if they're unequal in the
direction of Me Liking Getting... Shots? I lost track of what I was
saying. That's life I guess. I'll be back later!
I've Had Just About Enough Of You
Maybe the easiest way to try hard is to write worse but quicker.
The quicker I write the MORE I can write in the same amount of time.
And writing quicker takes some extra effort! And the final product
might be worse but it's MORE. That's accomplishing something.
Anyway. I feel like if I had to guess, most of what could be gotten
out of reading this website is being like HEY I CAN FOLLOW THIS LOGIC A
SOLID 85% OF THE TIME!!! It's not funny or interesting or anything
but maybe you get a real kick out of being able to understand me at least as
well as I understand myself. Uh oh. You probably understand
me MORE than I understand myself! I'm scared now. Then again if
you e-mail me Who I Am that might be something I'm interested in! VERY
interested. What else is going on. Write four more
paragraphs. Cleansing Process. Write five more paragraphs.
Walk. RECALIBRATION TIME. Amazing.
Cool! Another day without explicitly telling you
my meals and another day where I'm gonna get a nice PRIVATE kick out of my
meals! Presumably. I haven't had them yet but that's been my
experience the last half of a week or so. Man these entries just
keep getting worse and worse. At least before you were finding out
what I was eating for lunch and/or dinner. Now you don't even get
that! What exactly is keeping you here. Pot committed at
this point one would imagine. Anyway. Dad is going to Dentist
today. That's why he had to fit in walk a little earlier than usual.
I feel like I went to the dentist a few months ago. Hmm.
Maybe I gotta go through all past entries to see whether I did or did not.
I must have mentioned it on website! Well that would take several
months. Unless I search for the word DENTIST. But
what if I mention the activity but don't use the word DENTIST. Maybe I
just use the word DENTISTRY. Then searching DENTIST would get
What else is going on. I dunno. It's hard
to believe it's only been four days since I first had New Coke Zero.
It's also hard to believe I only have to wait another three days before I
get to have New New Coke Zeroes. Hard to believe but FUN. I get
a real kick out of that belief. Makes me feel good inside! What
else is going on. I dunno. I wonder if I can get a pack of six 2
liter Coke Zeroes for a very slightly discounted price. I can do that
with diet pepsis! I don't know how much I save but if I had to guess
it's gotta be roughly 15 cents less as opposed to getting six bottles
separately. Hmm better LTURQ. HEY with Coke Zero it's an
EIGHT PACK. NOW WE'RE TALKING. I WOULD HAVE WANTED MORE THAN
SIX ANYWAY AND JUST BEEN RESIGNED TO SETTLE. This is the best news
I've had all day specifically in the last 15 seconds. Also, let's
face it-- All Day.
Oh well such is life. Anyway can Twilight
Zone Man stop Garfield from being assassinated? I dunno! You'll
have to see the episode for yourself! Also if Garfield The Cat was
assassinated would a plurality of people be like GOOD I'M GLAD?
I feel like it would be close, yeah! Anyway. What does Garfield sound
like. And DON'T SAY BILL MURRAY. I can't picture his
non-Bill Murray voice at all! Also yes I know Bill Murray played him at one
point, but I never saw that either so I don't imagine that anyway, but even
if I did, that doesn't count! I don't know what Garfield actually
sounds like. In real life. Huh. What else is going
on. Gotta imagine there were thousands of people who found out they
were making a Garfield movie who were REALLY excited about it. Gotta
imagine roughly 10,000 people were OVERJOYED. That's People for ya.
Last paragraph of the act! Wonderful.
Do Garfield fans have cats and are they resentful that their cats never talk
to them? My guess? I dunno sure maybe. What else is
going on. I usually take my pants off after getting back from second
walk and writing second act. Because I'm gonna take a bath or shower
after the second act of entry! Might as well get taking my pants off
out of the way. That's one less thing I'm gonna have to do later!
Why put off until later today what I can do 20 minutes ago. Hmm.
Sure I still wear whatever kind of underwear I have on. Gotta keep
things respectable! One would imagine. Ugh. Coke
Zero 8 pack saves 92 cents than if you were getting 8 separate bottles for
individual rate. Diet Pepsi 6 pack saves... Wait A Second... it's
$4.58 MORE?!?! That can't be right. Lemme double check that.
I think it's accurate! Man oh man have I been getting scammed.
Oh well that's life. I'll be back later.
Oh No They're Getting Away
Hello friends. Here we are near the end of the entry. Another
day down more or less. I'm going with LESS. Anyway.
I feel like my Dad would be interested in this Soda Scam but it might
INFURIATE HIM. And he'd BEAT ME. So maybe just keep it to myself
and change my soda buying habits on my own. That sounds like fun.
Anyway. I've been scammed out of hundreds of dollars over the last
year! And by hundreds of dollars I mean more than one hundred dollars!
Fascinating. I feel like I have to get the message out there
that FreshDirect.com is doing a Soda Scam. Imagine how many other
people might be effected! Maybe almost as much of people that are
excited about Garfield! Well let's not push it. Anyway.
Anyway I JUST SAID IT ON WEBSITE. I am getting the message out there!
Now each of you tell three people and we'll Pay It Forward all the way to
the bank! What bank. I dunno. I was hoping you
Coffee! Amazing. What else is going on.
More The Sampsons today. If I had to guess? Between two and six
episodes. Including two and six. Sounds GREAT JUST GREAT.
Also LOOKS FINE TOO. The voice actors get a lot of credit but I get a
kick out of these designs of people. Look at Seymour Skinner!
Just look at him! WHAT A JERK! I dunno about that. How
many Simpsons characters have initials of the same letter. Seymour
Skinner. Lisa Simpson. Wait a second scratch that.
Anyway I lost interest in this even before I was done typing the first
sentence of it. What else is going on. You could easily
argue I never had interest in it. You'd probably win that argument.
Not just because it's accurate but because I'm guessing you have pretty good
arguing skills. You'd win any argument you participate in, regardless
of accuracy! Hmm I'm giving you a lot of credit based on nothing.
Oh well enjoy!
Penpenultimate paragraph. I guess. Better
make the most of this Diet Pepsi I have left over for the rest of the week.
After this it's Coke Zeroes! So anything I wanna get out of pepsi
NOW'S THE TIME. Jeez. HMM now would be a good time to
kick it into overdrive and write two and a half paragraphs BADLY but
QUICKLY. I don't know if I have it in me, though! If I did I
probably would have already settled for doing that before explicitly
suggesting it to myself. The good news is what else is going on.
I may even watch a The Sampsons before my next walk. Why is that a,
"May Even." I dunno. I may not do it. And it would be
kind of surprising and/or out character TO DO it. I can't explain
further but just take my word for it. Anyway. How's my goal of
Getting Deodorant going. So far no progress! Gotta imagine
that'll pick up soon. Wonderful.
Anyway. Between Coke Zero and Sprite Zero I'm
LEANING HEAVILY into the Coca Cola Corporation Brand Carbonated Beverages.
Hey whatever gets the job done! Sprite is Coke, right? Better
LTURQ. Them using the same Zero premise is a dead giveaway.
Google IS SPRITE COKE. Yes Sprite Is Coke. We settled that
once and for all and I think we're all better people because of it.
Also for other reasons. We're all better people than other people,
let's be honest. Well done. What else is going on.
I haven't put pants back on after bath yet. I take em off in
advance of bath. Then I leave 'em off after bath for the same amount
of time after the fact! This is good stuff lets keep it going.
I'm not supposed to take walks while My Dad is taking a walk but I think I'm
allowed to take walks while My Dad is at the dentist. Go figure.
Last paragraph of the day AND PERHAPS EVER.
Let's get it over with! Amazing. I find it odd when I see
spiders for the first time and they already got some sort of web going.
How has this been going on under my nose without me knowing it! Then
again I don't know how long it takes to start a web. I was always kind
of picturing weeks. Maybe DAYS at the least. Maybe they can
start a respectable web within hours, though. No way of knowing!
Is there anyway we can farm spiders to make webs for us and then once we've
gotten the webs we want we get rid of the spiders? I dunno!
First I'd have to think hard about what we'd want webs for. I'm sure
we can figure something out! YEAH I GET that spider webs are good to
catch other insects so we don't have to deal with them. But WITHOUT
SPIDERS they'll escape the web after several hours. You get trapped in
a web, you're a sitting duck for spider! But if there's no spider
you'll EVENTUALLY struggle out of the web, right? That's what I would
do! Anyway I'll be back tomorrow.
September 20, 2021
What Do You Think This Is
Hello friends. I'm back! I saw that coming a mile away.
Maybe you did too. That's your business! Not mine! Kind of
my business! Maybe I want to go out of my way to either verify or
disprove what you think you see coming a single mile away. I don't
care that much but some people might! Anyway checked my weight and I'm
down another 1.5 pounds in the last 9 days. AMAZING. At this
rate I WILL CONTINUE LOSING MORE POUNDS AT A RATE I HAVE NO WAY OF
DETERMINING. So I got that going on for me. Drank my fair
share of water yesterday! Not all the water I'd have to drink over the
week to ration soda, but a respectable amount nonetheless. Ya know
what? Water isn't bad! For some reason I was imagining
drinking water would be a chore. But let's talk about it-- if you're
thirsty-- water gets the job done! Why should we talk about it.
Nothing more to say. I guess. Hey the movie The Water
Boy. Remember that?! All boys are made out of 80% water.
That's how boys work. And how water works. Also Water Works.
Ugh. Was watching my uncle play High
Stakes Poker Tournament last night on my computer. Got really unlucky
at the end to lose! Great! I went through the whole thing
wishing I could be playing poker and then I realized at the end oh well
if you get really unlucky when it counts at the end then Not Playing It Is
Worth It In The End. So I got that going for me. Also I felt
shittily for him for 30 seconds! Then I realized OH RIGHT THAT
ISN'T ME and I slept like a baby. Also I GOT something out of it.
I don't wanna play more poker! I benefited from the experience so
basically everything is working out for me great. I wonder if there's
any weird kind of poker where it's the same rules as regular texas hold em
but whichever hand is in the lead at the time you flip the cards over
WINS. I could see that being fun. And confusing!
Mostly confusing. Partly fun. Lotta confusing!
How about poker where you share cards with all your
opponents to WORK TOGETHER to make the best hand possible. That way
everyone wins and/or loses. But you're in it AS A TEAM is the point.
Good Interpersonal Coworking Skills developed. Anyway. Lost 35
pounds in Oh I Don't Know half a year. Gotta lost another 15 pounds in
Oh I Don't Know however long it takes me Presumably A Quarter Of A Year.
AMAZING. I can't wait to find out if my body looks weird or normal
at ideal weight. Do I have some weird saggy skin and/or fat deposits
or not. And if so WHERE. And HOW BAD. I feel like I got a
good shot at Not Having Weird Remnants Of Overweightness. It's gonna
come down to the wire! What wire. Why are things coming
down to the wire! I don't know what that means! Better LTURQ.
Horse racing. They used to Hang A Wire at the end of race to
determine who won. Amazing.
Great now I'm endorsing Horse Racing. That's
not the kind of thing I wanna encourage! Unless the horses decide to
work together and do a relay race so they can get as far as possible so they
can carry the torch presumably hundreds of miles possibly. Depends on
how many horses! And how many hundreds of miles! Ughh.
Carry the torch. I assume that's An Olympics Reference. No
way of knowing though. Such is life! They should have enough
events in Olympics where Everyone In The World has to/gets to compete in
something. And obviously they come up with events where any random
person HAS to be in something he's relatively competitive in. Hmm.
What event would I be good in. Connect Four off the top of my head.
...Might need to practice a bit, I'm a bit rusty. But I could
Hmm I haven't played connect four in a while!
What a great game. Maybe connect FIVE. Maybe connect four but
you work together to make a pretty picture. Sounds fun. Some
people play connect four to make four, some people play connect four to stop
the other person from connecting four. You gotta ask yourself what
kind of person are you. I dunno. Tic Tac Toe. I feel
like I sometimes played that in High School during class with person in
front of me. Passing back the paper. Gotta imagine people in
Stuyvesant should be playing more complex games than Tic Tac Toe with each
other. Oh well. It's safe to assume we were two of the,
"Dumber," people in the school! That's life I guess.
Being dumber than people. Sounds about right. Whatever.
I diet every day, but the day or two before I know I'll check my weight I go
the extra mile! How horrible.
Coffee time. How horrible. Wait
a second no. I like coffee! It makes me happy. Hmm
poker would be annoying pointless lose-money-with disrupt my daily schedule
hard-to-cash out but THEN AGAIN HOW EXCITING. Maybe I
should play it! I won't though. Not today! Not
ever! Maybe one day! Probably not today though! I'm
putting my foot down. Wonder where that phrase comes from.
Some guy putting his feet down when he's had it up to here with things.
Better LTURQ. It just means Stomping Your Feet to get someone's
attention. Because you're like I've had it up to here with
this, I NEED ATTENTION, STOMP! What a strange world we live
in. I dunno if I've ever stomped my feet for attention.
I've done lots of other stuff for attention! Dunno about stomping.
Also let's face it your foot was ALREADY down. You're just
reiterating your foot being down. Well maybe you were
reclining. I don't know how you live your life.
Jeez. The Mets still have a .3-.4% chance of making
playoffs! GET OUT OF THE WAY HERE COME THEM METS. Can
someone calculate their odds of making 2022 playoffs as of now? Gotta
be SOME kind of very inexact generalized odds you can calculate.
Oh well. I feel like The Mets should somehow ruin the playoffs for
everyone. If they can't be in it why should anyone? I don't know
exactly what they could do but I'm sure they could think of something.
Anyway. When there are teams in August and September that have no
chance of making playoffs, Commentators are calling them spoilers.
Boy this team would like a chance to SPOIL the odds for this other team
they're playing by beating them. And then they cycle through the
other teams. Let's say the spoiler team wins each series!
THEY'VE SPOILED NOTHING. EVERYONE IS BACK TO WHERE THEY WERE BEFORE
FACING YOU. Congratulations YOU'VE ACHIEVED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Makes my blood boil!
Seventh pharagraph? Maybe eighth? Boy
oh boy would Eighth be exciting. IT'S EIGHTH HOW EXCITING.
I think I'm gonna keep that spelled, "pharagraph." Sounds fun to me!
Anyway. Also even if you just look at it as One Series Spoiler
Isolated. You spoil THEIR OPPONENT'S chance by losing to them.
You lose to a team in contention, you're making it harder for the team IN
PLAYOFF SPOT COMPETITION with the team you just lost to. WELL DONE
YOU'RE THROWING GUM IN THE WORKS. Huh. I remember when The
Mets were 5 games over .500 in May or June and I was just like well this
is great. All the need to do is break even for the rest of the season
and they could make the playoffs! JUST DON'T LOSE MORE THAN THEY WIN.
Which it turns out was easier said than done! VERY easily said.
I had no problems at all saying it! Presumably I said it here at
some point. I wouldn't have said it anywhere else! Hmm.
Ninth paragraph! I'd like to read AN ARTICLE
where they quickly go through all 30 MLB Sports Teams and detail the main
injuries they've suffered this year. Because if Mets had no injuries
they'd probably be a playoff team! BUT maybe each other team had key
injuries too. So if we're discounting injuries we'd have to discount
them for every team. Now the ball is in YOUR court. Gotta
imagine that phrase comes from a King in Middle Ages who would pass the time
by throwing a handball against the wall. In his court. Kind of
like The Shining! Anyway gotta imagine Kings are bored as fuck.
In movies and whatnot they're always just sitting around and every now and
then someone shows up and he talks to them. But mostly just sitting
around! In their throne presumably. Great.
Last pharagraph of the act. Wonderful.
I could work Poker around Walking. Just play it in short bursts
instead of long slogs. Then again I'm better off with out.
THEN AGAIN ON THE FIRST HAND... no! It's not happening.
Maybe play some freerolls. But that's as far as I go! And even
that is too far! Also who cares what else is going on. The Act
just flew by. I owe it all to not thinking about what I'm writing.
It hasn't let me down yet! I feel like I've written a lot in my life
and not thinking about what I'm writing has served me well for the
most part. At least in terms of effort expended. If I was
thinking that'd be twice or THREE TIMES as much effort and who needs
to put all that effort into something. Not me! Not on one!
Maybe some people! Not me! Amazing. I'll be back soon.
You're Actually Pretty Close
How long would it take a World Class Chess Master to figure out 100% how to
play Connect Four. Not just general strategies but literally 100% of
possible ways the game can go and how to win and/or force a draw. Half
a day? As much as week? My guess is probably a good working day.
Eight to ten hours. I envy them. Maybe it takes an entire
week if they're fine tuning TRAPPING skills and whatnot. Making DECOY
plays to get the opponent to trip up. The point is they could figure
out Connect Four 100% in no more than a week! That's how I feel.
Anyway I got some water. How long would it take a World Class Chess
Master to figure out 100% when to drink water and went to drink Soda Pop.
Trick question HE ALREADY KNOWS ALWAYS BE DRINKING SODA POP.
Gotta imagine at Grandmaster Chess Games they're serving free alcoholic
beverages to loosen inhibitions to make the game go faster. As soon as
one grandmaster chess game is over they can start a new one. Keep
Anyway. What else is going on. I got some water
myself just like I said. What kind of stuff have I been watching on
The Television lately. Who CARES. Let's GET THINGS GOING.
Can't wait until Constitution Day next year. We didn't celebrate it
this year because we missed it but I feel like looking forward to next year
and preparing and making sure we do it right next time is a worthwhile
thing. Take this loss and turn it into a victory! LEARN from our
failures. I dunno I don't like the sound of that. If we
learn from our failures we're just gonna want to fail all the time. So
we can learn! And then our lives would deteriorate rapidly on account
of Losing Everything All The Time. Sure we'll learn a lot BUT AT
WHAT COST. I dunno. Anyway. Gonna take a bath or
shower after this act. Anyway.
Why did I have to say that! To make pharagraph
slightly longer. Oh I get it now. Anyway. Pharaoh
Graph. Egyptian Hieroglyphics. What are those called again.
Hieroglyphics. Well I nailed that right out of the gate didn't I.
What else is going on. I feel like it would take Zero minutes for a
Chess Grandmaster to figure out Tic Tac Toe. He would just look at a
blank Hashtag AS THEY'RE CALLED NOW and think okay three in a row
and it would come to him in less than 5 seconds. I envy them.
No I don't. Brain is working too hard! Who needs that.
Maybe they do. They get off on thinking intensely and fast.
How sad. I dunno. What else is going on. What kind of
board games did they play in Ancient Egypt. Trick questions Boards
weren't invented until the Byzantine Empire. Gotcha!
Penultimate paragraph of the act! Amazing.
Dad is teaching tonight. I'll eavesdrop IN PASSING a bit, sure!
I'm not gonna go out of my way to listen in. But when I'm in transit
from upstairs to downstairs and/or downstairs to outside SURE I'll focus in
on what's being said through my ear canal. I'm not gonna block it out!
Anyway. It's hard to not listen to things unless you use your hands.
Fingers. I feel like you gotta stick fingers in your ear-holes.
Just covering the ears with your hands will only get you half there.
And if you have no hands or fingers then you're gonna have a hard time doing
anything about hearing. Also you're gonna have a hard time with
other parts of life. But mainly the Not Hearing Things When You Don't
Want To thing. Anyway.
Amazing. Should we be able to fold our ears shut?
By just exercising the Folding Muscles in our ear? Yeah sure I'll
write an angry letter to God about that one day. What's that
nonsense. God. Gotta write an angry letter to CHARLES
DARWIN. THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT! Anyway what else. Is
it possible Charles Darwin drank the nectar of Tortoises and is still living
on Galapagos Island? My guess? Sure why not that's his
prerogative. If anyone can do it he can. It's kind of a
Hitler-In-Brazil thing. And/or a Celebrity-Faking-Own-Death thing.
Either way the point is Who Cares. Wait a second. The BOYS were
from Brazil. Hitler HIMSELF might have moved to Argentina?? I
don't have all the details in front of me. The good news is Great
Just Great I'm gonna take a shower and/or a bath now. Be back soon!
How Lucky Can Ya Get
think a Chess Master could figure out Connect Four in 5-30 minutes probably.
ESPECIALLY since they probably already know the rules and have just never
really thought about it. And if they have thought about it, even
quicker! Especially if they've thought about it 100% and already
figured it out. Then all they need is THREE SECONDS to remember
what they already figured it out. Also yes it takes everyone three
seconds to remember things they already know. That's standard.
Anyway Re-Calibrate time is creeping up! And ya know what?
Pre-Re-Calibration is a pretty good time on its own merit! I'm doing
THE LAST OF THINGS that haven't been calibrated again. Fun! Fun
to get stuff out of the way. Presumably. What else is going on
presumably. Lots of things! We can presume a bunch of things
that may never come to be factual at all!
Great. Not gonna be able to take a walk for maybe
half an hour after the entry is over. Whatta.. jip? Maybe
its a positive things. Jips can be positive things. I've never
seen an exact definition of A Jip so we can only speculate (or PRESUME) what
it may or may not mean. Hmm Internet says it's spelled GYP.
I DON'T PLAY THAT GAME. That's a slur against Gypsies one would
imagine. And I don't do racial slurs UNLESS IT'S AGAINST THE IRISH.
That's where I draw the line! What else is going on. Someone IN
THE LAST CENTURY AND A HALF came up with how many ___ does it take to
screw in a light bulb. Hmm. Gotta imagine before light bulbs
they had the exact same joke but with some other technology reference.
How many Polish people does it take to have indoor plumbing.
That's directly preceding light bulbs. How many people does it take
to create Hieroglyphics. I dunno. I just don't know!
What else is going on. Also gotta imagine indoor plumbing didn't come
That Far Off after outdoor plumbing. Pretty sure as soon as
they developed outdoor plumbing they figured hey you know where this
would be great? IN DOORS.
I don't know what words or concepts mean, though,
so that's something to keep in mind while trying to follow my logic.
Anyway. Third paragraph of the act. That's the middle paragraph!
No arguing that. Hmm some sort of 1980 Horror TV Show Anthology on
Shutter The Screaming Service. I'll give that a shot!
Episodes are 50 minutes long? That's a long time! Almost TOO
long. Possibly Actually Too Long! Maybe too short. Or just
right. Or MUCH too short. Yep I think that covers all of it.
Does Never Should Have Existed At All fit into one of those
categories? Because sure that's another way for it to be received.
Ugh. Anyway what else is going on. I dunno. Drinking
coffee. I may or may not have explicitly said that this Act.
That I have coffee. Well I said it now. Definitely.
Almost 100% sure. I guess it could be a Total Recall false memory that
I said it several sentences ago.
Anyway. I hope not! That'd be weird!
What else is going on. Another day without explicitly saying what I'm
having for meals. Another successful day! If that's the measure
of success for days then I'm knocking some days out of the park! And I
don't see why it shouldn't be the measure of success. Lots of
reasons why it should, NONE why it shouldn't be! Maybe SEVERAL
reasons why it shouldn't be. But several rounds down to none.
Wonderful! Watch some Sampsons today. I get a kick out of those!
Makes me laugh out of my chucklehole. What else is going on.
Ultimate Weight Loss goal would require me to lose another 13-19 pounds.
I'm ESTIMATING it at 15. But how I feel when I get there will
determine exactly where I wanna stop. YEAH. MAKES SENSE TO
ME. A LOT OF SENSE. A LOT OF TOO MUCH SENSE.
Last paragraph of the day! Wonderful.
What language did they speak in Byzantine Empire. Roman? Better
LTURQ. KOINE GREEK, MEDIEVAL GREEK, AND LATE LATIN. Oh NOW I
get it. Koine! Makes all the sense in the world. I
think Koine Greek is just standard Ancient Greek. That's the
impression I got from clicking on the hyper link attached to the phrase and
reading a solid 2-5 words on the page that ensued. Amazing.
What else is going on. I got a lot of fun stuff coming up for the rest
of the day. Like watching The Television Set and whatnot. I get
a lot out of doing that. It amuses me temporarily! And then
makes me ANGRY. And then amuses me again! The point is what else
is going on. The entry is over. I'll be back tomorrow.
September 19, 2021
That Brings Me Back
Hey friends. Here I am! To write more and whatnot. What do
I got going on today in the wide world of sports. Wearing a nice
shirt. Let's hear it for shirts! They keep our torso warm
and/or respectable. A bare torso has no place in polite society!
Also All Society Is Polite! If it's impolite that ain't no society!
Making more progress with The Sampsons. I like the part where Bart
pulls pranks! This kid is out of control AND I LOVE IT!
Also-- let's talk about it-- MARGE BE MARGE am I right?! I
don't know what that means. You probably do, though! I
presumably knew what it meant at one point when I was first inspired to
write it. Thus you probably know what it means at one point-- this
point! You've eclipsed me in terms of knowing what I mean when I say
things. Well Done!
Cool. What else is going on? Presumably
Bad Things. I feel like ~75% of things that are going on are bad
things. With only ~25% being good things. Also ALL THINGS must
be either good or bad. This is no time for sitting on the fence!
CHOOSE A SIDE. Hmm I'll have a baked potato. CHOOSE A
MORE FUN SIDE. Okay I'll have popcorn shrimp. WELL DONE
THAT'S ONE OF THE FUNNEST SIDES OUT THERE. I haven't had popcorn
shrimp in over 20 years. But boy oh boy did I have it at some point
over 20 years ago! Delicious. I like popcorn shrimp and
chicken. They are VERY CLEARLY not popped like popcorn.
They are fried. Clearly! I see you're attempting some clever
misdirection but I'M ON TO YOUR TRICKS. What else is going
on. Maybe play some Call Of Duty II today. I have the call of
duty. Duty to play video game. Call to call. Huh.
I hope the Mets get a SUPTER STAR General Manager
in the off season. Like a Billy Beane and/or a ...Theo... Epstein!
Is his name Theo? I'm drawing a blank. Could be Theo!
Hey it is Theo good for him what a dumb name but then again IT'S GOT
CHARACTER. Either way a superstar GM will fix our team.
Gotta imagine something would fix The Mets. This seems as good
a place as any to start! Oh so now it's "OUR," Team.
Yeah! I'M A FAN. I contribute to their franchise by WATCHING
LOTS OF COMMERCIALS over the course of the year. Gotta imagine all the
commercials I've watched is the equivalent of 2,000 dollars in their pocket.
Hmm I feel like I should be seeing some of that money. At least 40
or 50 dollars I got coming to me. Now we play the waiting game.
Which is interesting because being a Met fan is playing the waiting game
these days. Waiting until next season. To start over again!
Maybe then we'll be good enough!
That sort of thing. DAMNIT not only do we
have to wait until next season now, but we have to wait until next AUGUST OR
SO until the season gets interesting. That's almost an entire year we
have to wait until baseball is interesting again! WHATTA JIP.
Then again that will give us time to move on with our lives and do better
more worthwhile things. Hmm. Off the top of my head
listen to Led Zeppelin. I don't know why that was off the top of
my head, either! It just popped in! Anyway hey you could do
worse than listen to Led Zeppelin. You might wanna wait until August
or September to REALLY get into it but that's life or something I forget
what's going on. You could do a lot worse than having Led Zeppelin
be your walk up music to Baseball At Bat. You could do better, though.
AC/DC off the top of my head.
Led Zeppelin is notoriously guarded about letting
places play their music. Good luck trying to get them to agree to you
using their music 4 times a day every other day of the year! Really
good luck. I hope it works out for you. What else is going
on. Off the top of my head I don't know what else is going on.
Got coffee coming my way after this paragraph! HMM maybe my walk up
music would be something of my own creation. That's a good way to get
exposure for my side hustle music! When my main hustle is baseball!
Hmm this would require me to be good at baseball. AND it would
require me to be good at music. AND I'd have to be walking up to
plates at least 3 or 4 times a day. WALKING? I don't remember
signing up for this! Then again this paragraph is almost over such
hat I should just write nonsense for a sentence or two to get it done with
so I can drink coffee imminently. Hey I just accomplished that
While Talking About That. It's a reallll onomatopoeia.
Yeah! So I got that going for me. The
older I get the more into Marge I get. I mean she was always
attractive as a teenager. WAIT NO LET ME AMEND THAT. When
I was younger she was attractive as a teenager. But now that I'm
older I find her more attractive as a WOMAN. That's the kind of Lady
for me! Look there's All Kinds Of Ladies and she's just ONE kind of
lady for me. I'm okay with All Kinds Of Ladies. Well maybe
30, 40% of the kinds of ladies are kinds of ladies I'd be happy with!
Amazing. What day is today. Sunday. That's great just
great. Also, look, I said Maggie is the ideal kid and that Bart and
Lisa are jerks. Bart and Lisa would be FINE kids. They've each
got a lot going for them. I just feel Maggie would be a BETTER kid.
It takes all kinds though. That's great just great.
Seventh paragraph. MOSTaways through Act
I. And Act I is by far the biggest Act. So thusly I AM ALMOST
DONE WITH THE ENTRY. You can't argue with that math! Because
it's wrong! Not math at all! Just nonsense! Whoever came
up with Math must have been pretty smart. I feel like they're smarter
than 90% of people to come up with Math. AMAZING.
Then again they're somewhat dumb that they wasted all their time Coming Up
With Math. They should have spent it on more fun activities.
Like... hmm.. looking around my room to come up with a good fun
activity... I know there's not likely to be information on that in my room
but I don't know where else to look around for inspiration... OH RIGHT
Writing In Notebooks! They could have been writing in
notebooks! They probably were to come up with math.
You're coming up with math? Best way of doing it is writing in
notebooks. Lots of notebooks! SO there's that.
Eighth paragraph. I feel like in my entire
life I haven't come up with ONE thing in Math that's new.
Whatta letdown. Anyway. Finished my coffee. That was
relatively quick! Oh well I got what I wanted to get out of it.
Drinking it. More or less. Dad has a virtual class tomorrow
night! I can eavesdrop. Get somethin' out of that. Not
sure what! I guess a greater appreciation for my Dad. It's every
boy's dream to see their Dad work! I guess. It's every
Dad's dream to see their boy see them work! Maybe. It's
every work's dream to see Dad And Boy Come Together Somehow While The Work
Is Going On. Sounds about right. Anyway I only have to
write less than 2 and a half paragraphs until I get to take Nice Break To
Remember. It's time to decide what teams I want to root for in
playoffs. NEVER! I REFUSE. Fine I guess I'm not
gonna be invested in playoff series at all. THAT'S RIGHT!
What else is going on. The Mets still have a
~.3% chance to make the playoffs? .3%? THAT'S ONLY ONE HUNDREDTH
OF 30%. And 30% is only 30% of THEM MAKING THE PLAYOFFS. Ya
Gotta Believe! That's The Mets slogan I believe dating back to the
1960's. Ya Gotta Believe. Don't tell me what I gotta do.
This is ON YOU. It's up to you idiots to do good in baseball, not me
and how much I may or may not believe. TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY YOU
JERKS. Anyway what else is going on. It comes from 1973
not all the way back to the 60's. THIS CHANGES NOTHING.
What else is going on. Been taking seven walks the last 2 or 3
days. WONDERFUL. I get a kick out of bonus nighttime walk.
It's real... well.. it's real... gives me a kick. That sort of
thing GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.
Last paragraph of the act! Man oh man we're
slowly creeping up to Recalibration Time Of Day To Remember. Still
several hours away but much closer now than when I first woke up!
Cool. YES I finished my coke zero supply for the week, but now I know
to get more for next week. Anyway. This year Mets Minor League
Prospects seemed to be making some progress. So that's good!
Gotta imagine that pays off somewhat in the long run. Looks like by
the end of the season in 2 weeks, I'll have placed between 4th and 6th out
of 12 in my Fantasy Baseball 2021 League To Remember. Pretty bad!
Not something to be proud of at all! Oh well I know never to do
anything again. What if I fail? Where's the fun in that.
Anyway hey now its time to take a Walking Break. WALKING? I
don't remember signing up for this! Wait a second I like
walking. I'll sign up for it right now! Great.
Be back in a little bit.
Why Didn't You Say So
Hey! Got some water going. I figure if I drink water 3 times a
day instead of soda, that might be enough to make my soda last all week!
SURE I could have predicted I'd need more soda this week based on running
out of soda the last few weeks and getting the same amount this week.
But I wasn't thinking clearly! I've got some mental problems still and
chief concern number one is Super marketers delivery orders.
Not making logical decisions all the time! It's upsetting to those
nearest to me! Including me. I'm VERY close to myself.
Practically overlapping! What else is going on. Shower or bath
after this act. Then Act III! Amazing. Hmm better
consult Patriotism Calendar, I feel like today or a day soon may be another
Patriotism Day. OH NO it was Friday! Constitution Day! I
missed it! Does that mean the constitution is now expired? We
forgot to re-up with the constitution! Now we're back to NOTHIN'!
Oh well such is life. Constant Tuition.
The kids in college out there know what I'm talking about! That
they have to pay tuition. Constantly! Well that's to be
expected I guess. What else is going on. Another day more
than half down without talking about what delicious meals I'm eating.
I pity you. Being in the dark completely. Gotta be
upsetting! Oh well that's life I guess. What else is going on.
I wonder what adventures The Sampsons are gonna be getting into today.
Gotta imagine 95% of them are adventures that will ring some sort of bell to
me. This is season 14 I'm up to! I still remember most of these!
Even more than most! 95% Like I Said. Oh okay.
Anyway I'm gonna have to take off my shirt, among other clothing, to take my
bath or shower. I was really enjoying this shirt. Then again
it'll make putting it on again later All The Sweeter. Gotta look
at the bright side of things. Otherwise you might not be able to make
it out and distinguish it's profile. Other side is too dark!
Anyway. I blame Covid Pandemic for Mets woes this
year. Mets fans aren't at the stadium to root on their team! How
are The Mets supposed to know to do good if they're not getting
encouragement in real time. They're only people! They forget to
do good time and again. Need to be reminded! I know that's how
it is for me. If I don't get constant reminders to do good I will
easily start doing bad. In fact I'll do bad either way! That's
how much I need affirmation! Huh. At this rate I can take
a bath timewise. It wouldn't be holding up my schedule by spending the
extra 4-10 minutes. Hmm. Well, I guess it would be. By
4-10 minutes. But that's negligible per what I want to accomplish and
in what order of time. The point is what else is going on. I
think it's pretty impressive that The Simpsons' Springfield has a minor
league baseball team. That's not bad for a city-state like
Springfield! Good for them I wish them the best of luck.
Penultimate paragraph of the act! I think it's
odd I remember episodes of The Simpsons from 2002 as well as I do.
Doesn't check out! How many times could I have s een this!
Maybe Simpsons engrains itself on our memory gland somehow. You
see it once and it's permanent. I blame the bright colors. It
CONFUSES our innards into activating Memory Catcher. I don't know
what that means. Sounds more or less right, though! Anyway.
Hmm I haven't gotten a sticker since NY Mayor Primary. That was back
in June! I'm running low on stickers! Well I'm not LOSING
stickers. Maybe I am gradually! It's reasonable to guess
that the stickers I have will have completely lost their stick 40 years from
now. So over the past year I'm that much closer to losing my stickers.
Oh no this is getting serious! Anyway. Huh.
Last paragraph before Cleansing Process!
Anyway. I feel like I'm gonna cut my hair with my Dad's help in a few
weeks. And shave myself. Mostly by myself! Maybe my Dad
helps somehow by standing off to the side and supervising. I don't
need supervision but I guess it couldn't hurt! It could easily
hurt. Distract me! But it could also easily help. I
NEED CONSTANT AFFIRMATION I already told you. Supervision isn't
affirmation. I guess it could be. Maybe. Amazing.
Gonna give you a little inside info-- not gonna need a food delivery until
TUESDAY. You know what that means! VERY easy to understand
that sentence. I'm definitely gonna go with assuming you know what it
means. That's how much faith I have in you! Wonderful what else
is going on. Gonna take a bath now. Be back soon!
Oh Well Too Late Now
Hello friends. Time to wrap up this entry. Got water going on
right now. Got coffee in a paragraph. Maybe replace water with
snapple. Snapple Will Not Replace Us. Maybe they will.
I can't predict what Snapple will do and frankly no one can. The good
news is what else is going on. Wanna start listening to different
music! Been listening to The Latest In Rock N Roll Music More Or Less
the last month or two. Over and over! Now its time to find some
Real Good Music. Stuff I haven't heard before! Hmm that would
require me to determine what to listen to. I don't know if I feel
comfortable with Having To Do Something. Sure it'll pay off in the
intermediate run but for that one period of 5-10 minutes where I quickly go
okay this band, that band, and that third band, gonna go through those next
would be TORTURE. Not literally.
Amazing. Got coffee going.
Still stuck with water! I poured it and now I have to drink it.
How terrible! That's where that saying comes from. You poured
your water now drink it. Which means if you do something stupid
you have to accept the terrible consequences of it. Anyway.
Gotta imagine water is the most nutritious thing you can drink. I know
other stuff has POSITIVE things in it. Vitamins and positive sugar and
calories and VITAMINS. But all in all I feel like water is probably
your safest bet. I CALL. I have vitamin water zero Energy
Flavored. That's Lemon for you newbies. Hey I win!
Amazing. I haven't had vitamin water in YEARS of living.
If you can even call that living. Anyway what else is going on.
Can't argue with other flavors of Vitamin Water, either. They're ALL
good. Maybe Black is one of the not as great flavors but even that is
good! Black Vitamin water is called XXX. I think that
means it's made out of Venom. That'd be my first guess.
Not snake venom. Spiderman venom! Get with
the program. Gotta imagine drinking Spiderman Venom wouldn't be good
for your innards. Well. Maybe it WOULD be good for your
innards. Certainly won't be good FOR YOU though. What else
is going on. Probably part blueberry and part ACAI. I
feel like ACAI rings some sort of bell. ACAI BLUEBERRY AND
POMEGRANATE. How could I forget about pomegranate! It's been
there for me through thick and thin. When I used to drink Juice Water
from Supermarket it was often Cranberry-Pomegranate.. Also sure I
don't know what ACAI is and to be honest I don't really want to know!
Some things are better left to the imagination. Or, even better, don't
imagine it! Just move on with your live not caring at all about Acai
and what it may or may not be!
Penultimate paragraph! Great. Also don't
you go buying vitamin water zero XXX's at the store and think you're getting
pornography. No pornography in the bottle at all! Well at
least none that I've noticed. Maybe there's tiny pornography not
seen by the naked eye or even your standard microscope. We can't say
for sure! All we know is that no one has noticed it or else it would
have been in the news. What else is going on. Last day of the
weekend. Unless today is a three day weekend. And the third day
is tomorrow. Which it isn't. The point is I forget.
Pretty sure I went into this with a point, though. It doesn't
sound like me to say things without their being some sort of point.
Hmm. There's a point to everything. We just don't know what
it is! That's what life is all about. Maybe. I dunno.
Sounds plausible I guess.
Last paragraph! Wonderful. Watch some
Horror Movies today. By which I mean a single horror movie. By
which I mean maybe a third of a horror movie. By which I mean I'll
spend the day doing something else. Anyway. The scariest horror
movie of all is the one you never see. There's nothing to fear but
fear itself. And one day there will be a movie called Fear Itself.
And we can rightly fear that it will be a bad movie. Yep all that
checks out. What else checks out. I'm checking out!--
at the end of this paragraph!!! Well you could argue I Checked Out
a couple of months ago and you would win that argument but we're not
here to argue we're here to finish entries. And that's just what I've
done! I'll be back tomorrow with more wonderful words. See ya.
September 18, 2021
Look No Further
What's up friends. Hmm an entry that doesn't start with the letter,
"H." Gotta wonder if that's gonna pay off in the long run.
Anyway the important thing is that Coke Zero really grew on me! By
which I mean I have formed a tumor. And also coincidently I also mean
I enjoy the taste now! While I was drinking it I was like this is
amazing this is way better than the diet pepsi crap I've been drinking.
Then I drank some diet pepsi and I was like ON THE OTHER HAND THIS IS
PRACTICALLY THE EXACT SAME THING. Ups and downs to both of em!
Coke Zero tastes good but Pepsi is The Cola Of The People! Coke fans
are OUT OF TOUCH. I don't like it! Not one bit! Maybe one
or two bits! But not MOST bits! Made some more progress with The
Sampsons and the Tweelightzone. Amazing. I'm entertained enough!
I still have another Coke Zero bottle for this week.
Gotta make the most of it. By which I mean getting my Mom to try it.
Spread the joy around, that's what I say! Presumably I heard it in a
commercial for Almond Joy Candy Bar. But the commercial was probably
more like you're NOT gonna wanna spread the joy around you want this
candy bar all to yourself. Delicious! That's the impression
we're under! That's commercials for ya. There's a candy
called Almond Joy, right? I didn't just imagine that? YES
there is. The coconut candy bar! Hmm here's a candy bar where
the main difference from other candy bars is COCONUT. I know what
we should call it to emphasize that ALMOND Joy. Where do they
come up with this stuff. The JOY part implies coconut.
Joy makes people think of coconut! Well maybe NOW it does but
before this candy bar it wouldn't have.
Anyway. Was there a time in history where the
premise of candy bar was that it was either good for nutrition or it gave
you energy. I feel like people probably were like Hmm gotta do some
strenuous work better power up with a chocolate bar. I envy them.
Imagine eating candy bars and thinking in your head ALSO this is good for
me. That sounds like the best possible way to live your life ever.
Well one of the best ways at least. In the top 30 percentile,
let's leave it at that. What kind of sociopath eats candy bars
NOWadays. Full sized candy bars. Just for fun. WHO ARE
these people. Oh right regular people who treat themselves now and
again. I dunno I don't like the sound of that. These regular
people seem PRETTY suspicious to me. I don't think they're regular at
all! I feel they're SLIGHTLY IRREGULAR and you can't argue with a
feeling! HMM I could have candy bars for breakfast. Once
I stop dieting to lose weight and have slightly bigger breakfasts, Candy Bar
makes A LOT of sense for breakfast. Oh no now I'm a slightly
irregular person. And I had been going my entire life being VERY
Regular. Oh well everything ends eventually.
Cool! Off the top of my head maybe some
sort of Kit Kat. Kit kat isn't your standard 4x1 Candy Bar.
Shapewise. But it's delicious! I like the part where it's candy.
That's what I get out of it! Also YEAH candy bar probably gives you a
very short term energy boost. From the sugar! I know
physiologically sugar supposed to give you short term energy boost but I
personally have never experienced it! I get long term AND short term
immediate lethargy. I guess I'm just A LITTLE DIFFERENT from
the status quo. I'm an INDIVIDUAL. I can't tolerate sugar re:
getting energy or not. That's the way God made me. Wow what
an asshole. I dunno. It doesn't come up that often so it's
not that big a deal! Anyway. Some sort of election going on in
Canada. Interesting! I thought they were a dictatorship for some
reason. Turns out they have elections. SHAM elections most
likely, yes, but at least they're TRYING.
Amazing! Coffee after this paragraph. I
support whoever is the most progressive. Because that's the kind of
guy I am! Anyway gotta imagine that person is gonna see a bump in
the polls because of my endorsement. What endorsement. I
said no one's name at all. You know who I'm talkin' about.
That guy whose better than the other guys. Why should I have to say
his name when you ALREADY know his name more than I do. That
settles that. I feel like the Mets loss last night was more or less
the final nail in the coffin. Also is that expression a reference to
being buried alive. Until the final nail in the coffin, you can
regain consciousness and escape your doom. Once they're done nailing
up the coffin though, you can yell your heart out but what can they do to
help you, coffin is nailed shut, nothing to be done. Hmm.
Why are they nailing coffins anyway. I feel like you're not gonna be
opening up your coffins if they're not nailed shut. On account of
being dead. What exactly does nailing it shut accomplish?
HMM. Keeping people from going INTO the
coffin. Anyway here comes coffee. Amazing! I like the
character of HOMER in The Sampsons. He gets the most laughs as far as
I'm concerned. Maybe even a MAJORITY of laughs, and not even just a
plurality. Which is very impressive considering there's 60 main
characters. So for one of them to get over 50% of laughs? He's
doing pretty good for himselves! Huh. Only character that
I don't like is MAGGIE. Well she's okay. I feel like I've
grown to appreciate The Baby more as time goes on. Also if I ever have
kids Maggie is the best role model for them. Bart and Lisa are jerks.
I want my kids to be like Maggie! Hmm that makes sense.
THEN AGAIN... I dunno what else is going on. Also Homer
is a great role model for men. He's an idiot and no one cares.
He doesn't care. Other people don't care! Everyone just accepts
how Dumb he is. That's the dream right?
Seventh paragraph. Roll Model. Hmm.
Been a while since I ate a roll. Used to get some good KAISER rolls
from Somewhere. Maybe Bagel Shop? Maybe Bakery? Either way
this goes back AT LEAST 10-15 years. Bakery is gone completely.
Bagel Store has become obsolete somehow which I forget. Either way
delicious. Used to just eat Bread as a snack. Often in the
form of rolls! That's the life, too, right? That and candy bars
and being accepted for being dumb. And not just accepted.
ENCOURAGED. I feel like people are 100% on board with ENGAGING with
Homer's stupidity. Anyway what else is going on. It's a good
thing The Simpsons wasn't a live action sitcom because everyone would be 33
years older than they started off. And having the children still live
in the house in their 30's and 40's would be a hassle and a half to explain.
Hmm. I live in the same house as my
original family and I'm in my 30's and 40's. Yeah but that's easy
to explain. Crazy and/or dumb and/or lazy. Oh Now I Get It.
Fascinating. I feel like I'm a solid 2 out of 3 of those
things. I don't know WHICH ones but 2 out of 3 sounds about right.
Eighth paragraph! I guess. Hey it's Saturday today. That
happens all the time. More or less. I haven't made much progress
in Rocksmith IT SEEMED but then I was just playing regular guitar and
suddenly I'm a little bit better! I guess practicing songs makes you
better in general! How come no one told me this. Seems
like a pretty big oversight. I am SO OVER sight. Hearing
is where it's at! Also can't forget about TOUCH. I would
imagine. I forgot about Touch for the most part but maybe you can't.
Hey get a load of this. I find it odd that to see we have BONUS things
(eyeballs) but to hear we have HOLES (ears). I know that doesn't
check out. Gotta imagine that Inside Ears we got some stuff that
accept vibrations or something and that's how we hear. Hmm.
What do we hear with exactly. Gonna have to look into that one.
Google HOW DO WE HEAR. Oh. Eardrum. That rings a
Penultimate paragraph of the Act! Wonderful.
Explain SMELL then. We smell with HOLES in our face and there's no
EARDRUMS there. Gotcha. I got ya there! Anyway.
At a point in my life I guess I could hang up newly cleaned shirts on
hangers. And then hang them over either My Door or My File Cabinet.
I can't fit all shirts on either one to hang. So I split them between
both hanging spots. At random! There's no, "A," hanging spot
and, "B." And where certain shirts belong one way or the other.
It's RANDOM get off my back about it. I don't see how people can take
the shirt off your back. That doesn't sound like a normal shirt.
Shirts gotta be taken off your head. Or maybe through your torso and
down your legs if the neck part of your shirt is really loose. But NOT
off your back. Unless they rip it off. But if they're keeping
the shirt intact NO WAY.
Unless it's a Stripper Shirt. We're talking about
REGULAR shirts though. What else is going on. When I was a kid I
preferred a Charleston Chew and now that I'm adult I realize WHAT WAS I
THINKING. Yeah that's a good candy bar but let's be honest it's a
bit too complicated with this chewiness. Candy bars could be
slightly chewy! Or slightly crunchy! But TOO chewy or TOO
crunchy is too complicated! Keep it simple! Then again what's
going on. I forget. I don't have a problem with too chewy or
too crunchy candy bars. It's a candy bar! Who cares!
Delicious! Then again what else is going on. What kind of
chores do I have to do today. Off the top of my head watch 1 or 2
Twilight Zone episodes. I don't have to do it! But I WILL do
it and I WILL NOT be 100% happy about it. That's life.
Anyway I'll be back in a little bit.
I Don't Feel So Good
friends. Time to write some more paragraphs. I've been
calling the blobs of words, "Paragraphs," for years. Not sure if
that's technically correct. Perhaps Paragraphs need to be more focused
and/or sensical! SENSICAL ISN'T A WORD? THAT'S NONSENSICAL.
Nonsensical, by the way, IS a word. I'm gonna write an angry
letter to someone as soon as I figure out Which Letter Is The Angriest.
Off the top of my head maybe, "T." Capital, "T." YEAH.
Anyway. Ya know what? I liked coke zero. But then I liked
pepsi EVEN MORE. Mixing it up re: Colas & Their Flavors makes ya
appreciate what you got NO MATTER which cola. So basically it's
been a good 24 hours. Really taking stock in what's important.
Anyway. If you need to repel a vampire, write the letter, "T," for a
good makeshift Cross. Especially lower case. But uppercase is
close enough too!
Anyway. Is it possible vampires aren't real?
I feel like there's a solid chance that vampires don't exist. Well
sure not with all these, "t's," floating around. They'd never have
a moment's rest if they're reading something. Also what do Vampire
have to do with Jesus. Nothin'! Vampires should be like Hmm
Jesus Signal WHO CARES WE'RE VAMPIRES we don't believe in Christianity You
Idiots. That's life I guess. What else is Life which I Might
Guess. Probably gonna take a bath today. Don't throw the baby
out with the bathwater. In fact probably don't throw the baby out at
all. You're pot committed to taking care o this baby through
adulthood. Or maybe Up To Adulthood. But if you really wanna go
the extra mile, be invested in him even when he's a grown up! Feel
like I've done that before. Baby with Bathwater.
Interesting. Most of the times I've done stuff before I don't realize
until an hour or two later! So this is great news! ...?
Wonderful. I guess! It gets me closer
to finishing the entry, that's for sure. But then not only does it
feel bad NOW but it'll feel bad LATER. That's the worst thing I can
recollect From Entry. Spending the rest of the day knowing I did all
my favorite bits before. I'd rather think NOTHING was worthwhile
this past entry than think SOME WORTHWHILE THINGS were done before!
How terrible. I'm wasting all of our times. Either way I guess.
But the point is repeating yourself is the worst thing you can ever do in
life and you can take that to some bank. I think maybe part of it
isn't so much the entry but that I think things over and over again and I
don't realize it until later. Just knowing my brain is just
cycling through the same crap year after year is kind of upsetting!
Oh well that's life.
Penultimate paragraph of the act! Wonderful.
No coffee with act II! You know what that means! Coffee with act
III! Hey great. Maybe you didn't know what that means.
You sure do know it now! I was VERY explicit about that which that
means and whatnot. Anyway. Watched 30 seconds of 1976 King Kong.
I LIKE it. This King Kong special effects is the best out of the 18
iterations of King Kong. Not the most realistic but the most FUN.
Maybe 10% of the 290 King Kongs were more fun but I haven't seen all of the
900,000 versions of King Kong yet. What else is going on.
Also who elected Kong King. NO ONE! THAT'S NOT HOW KINGS
WORK. TRICK QUESTION. Fine then how did Kong's
lineage become royalty in the first place. Well clearly Kong's
great great great great grandfather just asserted power. Ya gotta
want it! It's up for grabs for anyone whose got the gumption!
Last paragraph of the act. There's King Kongs,
Spidermen, and Stars Being Born. They happen all the time!
Hmm what would happen if there was a threeway crossover. Well King
Kong and Star Being Born are already pretty similar. King Kong becomes
a hit on broadway at the end of some King Kongs. I don't think he
really likes it that much, though. He always starts running amuck
after his big debut. Doesn't seem to even WANT to be a successful
Broadway actor. Ya gotta want it! What else is going on.
Spiderman becomes A Star but a Super Hero star not an Entertainment Star.
Although I guess he's part entertainment. Shows up at trade
shows and helps sell newspapers and whatnot. Certainly there's some
aspect to what he does which is just flat out entertainment. Anyway, I
dunno. HEY it's time to take a bath. I'll be back soon.
Hey It's Been A While
Wonderful. Time to finish up this entry. Got some orange soda
going. Gonna have coffee going after this paragraph. That's
about all I will have going for the very immediate future. Well I'd
probably be refilling orange soda. Bu that's just more orange
soda. So more or less the same thing. Amazing.
Another day down without telling you explicitly what I'm having For Meals!
I don't think I even told you implicitly. Or inexplicitly.
Whatever words are in real life. Maybe King Kong is more of a
passive title and doesn't mean he's actually king of anything. Just a
nickname he accumulated and/or gave himself. And/or accumulated.
What else is going on. How could King Kong love a Human-sized woman.
That'd be like me looking at an ant and being like GIVE ME SOME OF
THAT!!! Except it's a person and not an ant. But an ant
sized person. Also maybe a little bigger than an ant.
Maybe more like being attracted to Let's Say A Mouse Or Rat. Which
COULD happen but not often.
Coffee time! Also KING KONG ISN'T HUMAN.
It'd be like ME being attracted to A RAT SIZED APE. Which, let's face
it, isn't in the cards at all! I'm sorry to say! I'd barely be
attracted to a rat sized human! Well I guess that depends on the
qualities of the human. Some miniature humans are more attractive
than others! Anyway what else is going on. I dunno. Man oh
man am I getting close to Recalibration Time Of The Day. Maybe an hour
from this very moment. Maybe a little bit more. NOT MUCH LESS
THOUGH. Okay jeez calm down. Put 2nd of 2 Coke Zeroes in
the fridge. I did it for my Mom more than myself. I'm
encouraging her to give it a try. She seems less enthusiastic than she
should be but I think she's open to giving it a shot. She only drinks
DIET DR PEPPER lately. And very little at that! Not much soda at
all! So that's why she's not pumped up that much about a new cola.
Still though like I said SHE'S WRONG.
Anyway. She doesn't even finish A SINGLE 2
LITER BOTTLE A WEEK. What the HELL is wrong with this person.
Oh, right. Probably has stuff wrong with her internally. She's
elderly. Maybe she can't tolerate flavored carbonated beverages as
much as a Young Man Like Me can. Oh well I pity her.
Mostly for this. Maybe for some other stuff, too! That's her
business not mine. Cool. HMMM what other stuff am I
enthusiastic that takes place in the door of my refrigerator.
That's about it. Some cranberry juice in there that I don't drink.
I used to drink it sometimes! When it was 100% diet flavored!
Now it's just Half Diet and I don't drink it! What else is in that
nook. I dunno. I can't even PICTURE it. I can sort
of picture Other Stuff Being There. But I can't figure it out!
Not milk! That's ELSEWHERE.
Wonderful. Penultimate paragraph.
Sometimes some orange juice in there. But more often there's not!
I feel like right now There's Not. Amazing. Haven't had
Milk in a long, long time. I used to have it often with iced coffee.
NOW I drink HOT coffee. And use Cream! MILK has gone the way of
the dodo bird. Wait a second there's a bird called Dodo? I'm
gonna have to look that one up that can't be right. Also I know
there was dodo bird BUT I wanna look it up anyway to see what it looked like
and was all about. I bet it's kind of weird! Some sort of
chicken or duck flightless bird. And it went extinct IN THE 17th
CENTURY. Oh no we used to be able to interact with it and now we
can't. What a jip! Now we'll NEVER be able to taste it.
We being Us. Back then they presumably tasted it. DAMNIT.
Wikipedia says people preferred to eat parrots and pigeons to dodo. So
we're not missing out on much! ... Re: eating dodos. But NOW I feel
we're missing out on much by Not Eating Parrots and Pigeons. Oh
well there's still time to correct that!
Last paragraph. I don't believe it. HAH.
DOO DOO. Really makes ya think. Anyway let's wrap this entry
up once and for all. Probably gonna watch some The Sampsons today.
Been getting my fair share out of watching those! Maybe some Tales
From Them Crypts, too. I feel like I could get a kick out of that once
or twice today! Maybe some OTHER STUFF. Well sure but I
guess it depends on What The Other Stuff May Or May Not Be Or Not.
Anyway. My first thought was I'd eat a parrot before a pigeon
but I dunno! Parrots can sound like they're talking. I dunno if
I wanna eat an animal that mimics human voice and/or language! Rather
eat a Disease Bird. Gotta imagine pigeons inherently are diseased.
Not just sometimes. Always! Just LOOK AT EM they look
diseased as a BASELINE. Anyway what else is going on. Oh,
the entry is over! Wonderful. I'll see ya tomorrow.
September 17, 2021
I See Things A Little Differently
Got some coffee going early on in the entry. We're talkin I felt
like it. Waiting for Super market delivery! Could
come at any time! Starting NOW. Can't come earlier than now!
I would have noticed. Anyway what's new in the wide world of sports.
Just had a flash thought of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Return Of The
Ooze. Something about the guy who delivers pizza on a motorcycle.
A bike motorcycle. It was a bike that was partially electric but not a
full fledged motorcycle. And he had a nice little nook to hold The
Pizza Pie. Hmm why did I think of that. I just read a
headline about someone who got flushed down into the sewer during Hurricane
a week or two ago. TMNT live in sewer on purpose. Yep
that must be it. Oh, right. Delivery! That could be it
too. Those two things combined into My Flash Thought.
Fascinating. I don't have flash thoughts often at
all! Usually there's a build up and then a build down to my thoughts.
And that's the way I like it! Also MOVIE. My life is a
movie so it only makes sense that I'd have a flash thought of Another Movie.
Anyway I accepted laundromatted clothes yesterday! All folded up and
whatnot. Not gonna unfold the shirts to put them on hangers-- not just
yet! Instead I'll stuff 'em in a drawer. By which I mean I
Already Stuffed Them In A Drawer. I used to be confused by the word
Drawer because I always pronounced it Draw and when I was young I
wondered where this ER stuff was coming from. I don't like it!
Not now, not then, not ever! Maybe later! I reserve the right to
start liking it at some point in the future if I feel like it! Why box
myself in when I don't necessarily have to!
Cool. Hmm nothing happened in that paragraph.
I feel like something barely happened in the first paragraph. But
absolutely nothing in the second paragraph! Also third paragraph
AIN'T OFF TO A GREAT START. Making some progress in The Simpsons
and The Twilight Zone. At this point I'll be done with the shows
sometime after I'm dead. Well great now I have something to look
forward to in the afterlife. Watch some The Simpsons. Before
I thought of that the afterlife seemed like it was gonna be one big chore.
Now I know I CAN WATCH TV. I'm not sure if that's Heaven or
Hell. Sounds like Purgatory. Watching TV is One Big Purgatory.
Also I'm under the impression Purgatory is SLIGHTLY negative.
Not exactly neutral. On the slightly crappy side of things.
Maybe specifically boring. That's the best way to sum up the
experience. Because you're like jeez nothing ever happens AND it's
taking forever! Sounds about right.
Hey someone left a paperback bible in front of my front
door this morning. Like a full book! 100 or 120 pages!
I've gotten religion pamphlets before, sure. But this was a whole
book! Anyway I threw it out because I've Had It Up To Here With
Christianity Bibles. Who needs it! Hmm wonder what kinda
stuff is in there. Maybe I want to change religions. They
went through the trouble of producing an entire book, the last I can do is
Worship Their God. Sounds about right. HEY Yom
Kippur is over and I FORGOT COMPLETELY to apologize to God. I was
really considering doing that for a solid 90 seconds! Oh well
there's always next year. Assuming God doesn't kill me this
year for my sins. Which he might! That's his prerogative!
I can't really argue one way or another.
Anyway. I dunno. I'd order some pizza from
this guy who befriends the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles. He seems like
he knows what he's doing re: delivering pizza. Also how can mutant
turtles hold things. They have no opposable thumbs! They barely
have thumbs at all! That's the ONE part of this movie that doesn't
make sense. They covered ALL the other bases. Anyway what
else is going on. Is April O Neil supposed to be INTO the
turtles. Because I think the turtles are definitely INTO HER.
Oh well that's life. Donatello uses a stick to hurt people. What
do you call Stick Fighters in real life. I feel like that's fallen out
of favor but I feel like there was a time and place in history where there
were Stick Fighters. I'd look that up right quick but I wouldn't know
where to start. Stick Fighters wouldn't accomplish much per my
Sixth paragraph! Wonderful. Now we're into
the time of the day where Super market SAID they'd deliver.
Sometimes it's a bit early or late. But now we're into the exact time
they promised! Wonderful. Also I've always heard Donatello is
good with machines or technology but I can't remember him ever actually
using that skill. Sure I've only had limited exposure to the turtles
adventures and what I have seen I don't remember but if you don't count any
of those qualifiers my point is a good point! What else is going on.
Hmm. Teenage Mutant Turtles must be horny all the time. On
account of being teenagers. What the Hell are they gonna do re:
finding mates. No female mutant turtles! What the Hell can they
do. HEY I just accepted Super Market Delivery.
They came right on time for the earliest they could which was in the time
they specified. AMAZING how convenient.
Seventh paragraph! I put stuff away Like It
Was Nothin'! Took me no more than 10 minutes. Hmm if It Was
Nothin' it would have taken me no more than No Minutes. That's
life I guess. Hmm. I have flash thoughts every now and again.
I get my fair share! Oh well. Sure I prefer thoughts
where there's a build up and a build down. But ya take what you can
get re: thoughts. Anything is better than nothing! I dunno I
might enjoy some time with No Thoughts. That sounds fun and
productive too! Websites give Mets a 1-2% chance of making playoffs as
of now. I think it's lower! Prove me wrong! You
can't. They may or may not make the playoffs but I don't see how you
can successfully prove I was wrong re: estimating their odds right now.
Unless you have some sort of SUPER Odds Calculator that somehow is the End
All Be All that can't be argued with. Which YOU DON'T. ...Probably
not at least!
Oh well. Hmm wonder what happened in the
Bible. It was the King James version! Wow King James?
Now we're talking! Started watching the three part documentary on
the 1986 Mets Baseball Team To Remember. I enjoy it! I'm a Mets
fan for some reason no one is really sure of and I ENJOY seeing them do
stuff! Anyway. Now that Super market delivery is out of
the way, what do I have in store for the rest of the day? Same stuff
as every day. But I get to live with the pleasure of having
Non-Every-Day-Chore taken care of. Then again that chore is KIND OF
FUN when it's only 10 minutes. I can get, "Into," transferring
things from Bag to putting them on Oak Tag on floor to putting stuff away in
fridge and/or freezer and/or cabinets! It's like a real life game of
TETRIS but you can't lose! Well you can. But you have all
the time in the world to correct your mistakes. Unlike Tetris!
Hmm Tetris should have a Do-Over option. I feel like I fail a lot
in life and I need do-overs!
Ninth paragraph! Mets have a baseball game
tonight. That's one thing I can do later on. Watch them play
that baseball game. That sort of thing. Guinness book of
world records for Longest Game Of Human Tetris Ever Played. Seems
easy to get that record. Just play Any Amount Of Time Of Human Tetris.
Sounds fun to me. Fun AND productive. Hmm a lot of
those shapes might be inconvenient to make. Might need to get some
gymnasts or body contortionists. The 4x1 pieces, though, I feel like a
lot of people could accomplish that. After all what is the human body
if not a 4x1 tetris piece. Hmm. I don't like the sound of
Accomplishing A Tetris, though. With the 4x1 piece. Wiping out 4
lines at once. Those people will disappear into thin air!
Doesn't sound good for them. Maybe it is! They might re-appear
in a BETTER dimension than the one we're in. I envy them.
What else is going on.
Last paragraph of the act! I don't believe it!
Pretty far ahead of time today because of waking up early and whatnot.
Great! If you're playing human tetris you definitely wanna be the guy
who for all intents and purposes is The Guy Playing The Game Of Human
Tetris. Directing the pieces where to go one by one. That way
you can accumulate high scores while everyone else is just part of the game.
What else is going on. Is there any real competition to Guinness Book
Of World Records. They don't own the patent on Keeping Track Of
Records. Gotta imagine some other company (rival beer company?) wants
to keep track of records! Better look into that.
Google ALTERNATE RECORDS OF RECORDS. HEY Google offered me NOTHIN
relevant based on that search. What the Hell! What a let down.
Anyway I'll be back a little bit later.
That Sounds Delicious
Got some Coke Zero going on! It's okay. I prefer other colas,
sure, but I don't hate it! Maybe I'll get used to it to the
extent that I Just Don't Care. As of now though I care a lot.
Anyway gonna write this act, take a shower, write act II, take a walk and
then YOU GUESSED IT RECALL time. I mean RECALIBRATION time. I do
get to recall myself for governor of my life though, too. Hmm this
is a tough one. If I'm recalled who will replace me. That's
the key question when we get down to it. Larry Elder?!?! That
hardly seems fair. I assume if Larry Elder has campaign signs his
slogan would be RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. I assume that'd be his
slogan even if he didn't have campaign signs! In fact I'm sure it was
his slogan even before he ever thought of running for office at all!
Hmm. What else is going on. Got delicious meals
in store for today Don't You Worry About Me. Well sure you can
worry about me. I take it as a compliment. But I got Meals
down so you can focus your worrying on something else. You heard it
here first. Also I feel like You should be allowed to vote in the
recall election of whether I will continue to be Governor of myself.
Why not. The more people participating in Democracy the better!
That's my general feeling more or less. Sure it's up for debate
whether you should have a vote for this while you're generally not a
citizen Of Me for the most part. But I feel you're close enough that
you have a stake in Myself! What was I talking about. Oh.
Whether I should crowdsource an opinion of whether I should continue to
drink Coke Zero. THAT'S what I was talking about. Sounds
Hmm I'll drink some more Coke Zero. Lemme at
it! Anyway. I dunno. Gonna put these clean shirts on
hangers just as soon as I finish wearing the clean shirts from LAST
CLEANSING that are already on hangers. Why mix em up. No reason!
That's how I feel. Anyway I should probably clean my pants at some
time. Been wearing these pants every day for roughly half a year.
At this point they gotta be pretty smelly! Anyway. Haven't worn
de-oderant in maybe a decade. Armpits gotta be pretty smelly!
Maybe get AXE deoderant. Big fan of their ad campaign. They know
what they're doing! Also they're made by MAXIM: THE MEN'S
MAGAZINE. THEY HAVE SEXUAL PICTURES OF WOMEN IN THE PAGES PER MY
UNDERSTANDING. Maybe if I wear their deoderant sexual women will
be attracted to me! SEXUALLY! I'm sold sign me up.
Penultimate paragraph of the act! Wait a
second internet is showing NOTHING re: Maxim being related to Axe.
Hmm. Where the Hell did I get that idea from. Is it possible I
just saw a commercial for Axe in a Maxim Magazine and was like Well
Clearly They're In Cahoots! I don't think so! But then again
I have no clue where else I got this idea. I mean sure they're
marketed to more or less the same market. But that can't be it!
That can't be it!!! Oh well that's life time to move on.
Looking forward to a nice shower today. No bath! Wanna get this
cleansing process over and done with so I can fit in a walk before my Dad's
walk later. I got TIME CONSTRAINTS I can't be taking a bath you idiot.
SURE I could probably fit it in almost definitely BUT WHY RISK IT.
That's my hot take.
Hmm. I don't think I've ever BOUGHT and/or USED
Axe. Because I'm a SMART GUY resistant to their ad campaign!
Hmm what brand of deoderant did I used to use. Better look up
brands of de-oderant. And then I'll see the correct answer and be like
oh right that. LMLTURQ! Hmm maybe DEGREE?
That's a possibility. THIS IS GOOD STUFF LETS KEEP IT GOING.
Anyway. Gonna ask my Mom to get me some de-odorant. It couldn't
hurt! Unless I Huff It a lot. That might hurt! Huffing is
a thing, right? Huffing de-oderant? Why shouldn't it be.
Anyway great just great. Got coffee lined up for the last act of the
day! Now we're talking! We were talking before, too! But
the important thing is we're still talking! I'll be back in a
I Don't Play That Game
Got coffee going and coke zero. Delicious. And nutritious!
Well coffee has some nutritional value at least. And gotta imagine
Coke Zero has some negative nutritional value. So there's that!
Told my Mom to get me some deoderant next time she's getting Amazon
Delivery. We're going with GEL not SPRAY. Look is spray MUCH
MORE FUN? Yeah! But gel is SAFER and more ADULT. Spraying
is for kids. MEN GEL. Anyway. Didn't know what brand to
ask for so I went with Degree! Seems about right. All the
Mets need to do is sweep the three game series with Philadelphia and THEY'LL
BE TIED FOR SECOND PLACE. See they've got the division right
where the ywant them. Also the wild card. They've got the
wild card right where they want... it. Makes sense. Who came
up with the term wild card for sports. Where a team doesn't win
a division but makes the playoff anyway. And couldn't they have taken
their job more seriously. HEY THIS TEAM IS A WILD CARD IN PLAYOFFS.
Let's call the playoff berth THE WILD CARD. Seems DUMB to me.
And trust me I KNOW DUMB. Not really. To
me everything is dumb. And thusly nothing is dumb. That's how
things work in my head unfortunately. Hmm. Is deoderant one
word? Yes. Yes it is. WAIT A SECOND. NO! NO
IT ISN'T. Wait a minute. Maybe it is. THEN AGAIN IT COULD
BE NOT. YES IT IS. FOR REAL THIS TIME. IT'S
RECOGNIZED AS A WORD BY THE COMPUTER. We settled that once and for
all. Now all we need to do is figure out how to spell it.
Damnit the work keeps piling up and up. Odor is easy. We
know how to spell odor. ANT? ENT? Deodorant. There
we go that's it. Deodorant! Now we know. I keep trying to
picture a deoderant can and/or gel to see if I can see in my mind's eye the
brand. The closest I get to is imagining the can of shaving cream I
used to have collecting dust on my bathroom sink. RED. Nice red can.
But that's shaving cream not deodorant! I dunno RED rings some sort
of bell. Was RED involved in this somewhat?
Cool. Three more paragraphs to go! I
don't believe it. Way ahead of schedule today. A solid hour!
I can do whatever I want with that hour. Watch TV! Watch
Something ELSE ON TV! Have TV on in the background and do Literally
Nothing In The Foreground But We Still Can't Say I'm Fully Watching TV
Either? I think that last one has a lot going for it. Let's
do that. Anyway. Rookie of the year. Pretty sure they
should have an award for Old Timer Of The Year. And the only
people who qualify are the people retiring at the end of the year.
SURE they'd need to formalize their upcoming retirement ahead of time.
But if it means they Might Win A Nice Award then they'd be tripping over
themselves trying to qualify! People LOVE prizes. Anyway it
would make people appreciate older sports players more which I think is too
uncommon. People always on board with the young phenoms! They
don't care about the old mediocre players! Doesn't seem right!
Anyway what else is going on. The point is I've
reached an age in life where if I were in sports I'd be solidly over the
hill. That happened quickly. Barely even appreciated when I was
in my prime! Oh well that's life. Hey I got half a decade to
think about retiring and/or qualifying for Old Timer Of The Year.
So it's not all bad. Also then at the end of my sports career I get to
RECALIBRATE. Everyone loves a nice recalibration! Hmm can't
go back to playing sports, though. I can choose from several
things to do but playing professional sports is suddenly completely out of
the question. DAMNIT. Hey at this rate I'll take my walk
roughly 15 minutes from now. What rate. Rate I've been
going at. Oh. That makes sense. What else is going on.
What I really should have done was get a Coke Zero Bottle before they
phased out old flavor. I can't rightly remember what it used to taste
like, so how the Hell am I supposed to judge New Taste in relation to Old
Taste? I BLEW IT.
Final paragraph of the day! Wonderful.
Maybe I can buy some old coke zero on amazon. Gotta imagine that'll
cost a pretty penny, though. But presumably someone out there stock
piled old coke zero to sell at jacked rates. I would have done it but
I didn't think of it! But now that I do I could have made TENS OF
DOLLARS presumably. Oh well another money making scheme I missed
out on. What else is going on. Been enjoying binging some
The Simpsons the last day or two. Really getting into it as opposed to
just slightly positively tolerating it while I couldn't think of something
better to do. I like The Laughs it provides. That's what I get
out of it. Then again it's a little too bright. Colorwise.
I'm getting a headache looking at all these bright colors! That sort
of thing. Anyway hey the entry is over. I'll be back tomorrow
because that's what I do every day!
September 16, 2021
What's That You're Reading
enemies. And friends! But mainly enemies. I'm here
to turn our relationship upside down and inside out! Maybe one day we
will be friends. Maybe TODAY. No time like the present!
TRUE STORY. There is The Past and The Future but neither of them
are exactly like The Present at all. Also The Present is the best.
I'm always 100% more pot committed to The Present than The Past and The
Future. After the Present, The Past is best. I know what
happened in the past. I dunno what's gonna happen in the future!
Who gives a fig about the future. I like The Present and then The
Past. Wonderful. Brought stuff to laundromat this
morning. I wanna say clothes. Mostly clothes. True
story! Anyway what else is going on in THE PRESENT. This.
That's about it!
Oh well. The last two days I've had delicious
and nutritious meals and you're none the wiser! It's my own private
thing get used to it! You may never hear all about my meals EVER
AGAIN. Man are you missing out! And am I missing...
IN! Oh no am I missing? Where have I gone! When will
someone find me. Maybe never! Had a nice cough drop last night
and I was like man I'm getting a lot out of this for a minimal amount of
calories. Then I found out it was FIFTEEN CALORIES. I
thought it would be like 3 or 5. But then while I was tasting it I had
a sneaking suspicion it might be more. Anyway it was delicious because
CHERRY. Because it lasted long. And mostly because MENTHOL.
I used to drink these menthol cigarettes now menthol has been
reintroduced to my palate? DELICIOUS. So I could have those
now and again. Worth it! That's how I feel.
What are the odds I never smoke another tobacco
cigarette in life. I'd say off the top of my head close to 50/50!
Maybe 40/60. BUT WHICH WAY? I'll Never Tell! I'll
tell eventually. I'll forget that I was keeping it a secret and then
let it slip maybe in a decade or two. Now we play the waiting game.
Making very slow progress through Them Simpsons and That Twilight Zone.
On average I watch one every other day for the last 2 or 3 weeks.
Which is better than nothing! I totally am either entertained slightly
or bored mostly during those activities! Simpsons are usually
entertaining slightly! Twilight Zone is usually bored mostly!
But they both GET THE JOB DONE. Let's come up with some amusing
website fodder. Hmm. Have you heard the good news about
the wide world of sports? It continues to exist! Also I feel
like in 1971 they played golf on the moon. Now we have the wide solar
system of sports! I dunno if they played a ream game and kept score.
I think they just hit a ball that resembles a golf ball with something that
resembles a golf club once. Great now they're littering. That
golf ball is up there on the moon just collecting dust. Moon Dust.
Hey I want some moon dust. By which I mean cocaine.
What else is going on. Let's be honest I'd
rather have Actual Moon Dust than cocaine. Hmm. Gotta have
SOME moon dust accumulated around. Gotta imagine that
.00000000000000000000000000000000001% of .0000000000000001% of the air
around us In Earth Atmosphere is dust from moon somehow. Seems
plausible. Now all we have to do is figure out how to get to the
moon dust particles specifically. And then combine it with other moon
dust particles. Then put together a nice moon rock by accumulating all
the particles in the world and combining them. WOW AN EARTH MOON
ROCK? THAT WE CAN RE-BREAK APART TO PUT IN A POWDER AND SNORT?
NOW WE'RE TALKING. Gotta imagine moon will get you high.
Sure why not. Is it possible The Mono killed the dinosaurs.
Sure anything is possible. Dunno about that gonna have to look
into that one. Anything being possible and whatnot. Could be the
case! Probably not though!
Coffee after this paragraph. Wonderful! Got
some pepsi left over for today but not as much as I'd like! But still
I could have easily had Zero left for today. Oh no Zero that's the
lowest number there is! Not counting negative numbers. And
Counting Zero. Hmm. Coke Zero has a new taste? I don't
believe it. Coke Zero? FINE I GET THAT IT'S COKE BUT WHY ARE
YOU CALLING ME A ZERO. THAT SEEMS RUDE AND A HALF GET OFF MY BACK
ABOUT IT. Dunno about that. I guess if Anything Is Possible
it's possible That Was Funny. See? This is why I'm not sure
that anything is possible. Because it's impossible that was
amusing to any positive non-zero number extent. I lost track of
what I was talking about. Numbers and possibilities. And
getting insulted by Coke Zero. Oh right now it's all coming back to
me. How horrible.
Great! Maybe laundromat sells 2
liter bottles of soda. DIET soda. Gotta imagine they can
put those washing machines to good use by mixing their own Colas.
DIET colas. Also they can put them to good use by washing clothes
in them. WOW WHAT A MILLION DOLLAR IDEA! It makes almost
too much sense. HMM is it legal to mix our own colas? Because if
it is Let's Get Cracking! Great. What else is going on.
Also I assume it's legal to make our own alcohol. That's what hipsters
do. Beer-wise. Yet it was ILLEGAL when alcohol was illegal!
WHERE'S THE LOGIC IN THAT? Also what exactly is a hipster. I
know it usually involves a guy having a beard but beyond that not 100% sure
what it means. Also having beard isn't HIP. Hip people
are cleanly shaven. I feel pretty strongly about this! They've
got it completely backwards with this terminology!
Amazing. Do I have a beard? I haven't
shaven in 3 or so months. So you'd think I would, right? Oh well
no way of knowing. I could look in the mirror! But what if
I'm wearing a mask at the time. Then I did all that FOR NOTHIN.
Not worth the risk! What else is going on. Seventh paragraph.
HMM I just rubbed the lower fifth of my face and it felt like there's
some hair there. So there's that. HEY I added Coke Zero to
Super Market order. We're gonna settle this once and for all!
Give me a coke zero. Hey if you want a coke you're gonna
have to assign a positive integer to it! Humor. What
else is going on. Baez seemed open to signing with Mets in the off
season! AMAZING. He hits home runs. I like it when that
happens-- as long as he's on The Mets! So there's that. I
could like it when that happens half the time if he's not on the Mets.
Maybe he's playing a team I dislike more than whatever team he's on.
Cool! I don't like it when Lindor and Baez
hit back to back in the lineup. Look they're friends we can't have
2 friends in a row. Too repetitive. Pitcher would get too
comfortable. Gotta put 1 or 2 people between them. True
feeling I get! Lineup needs BALANCE. Two friends in a row IS
UNBALANCED. Maybe they're all friends. Maybe there's some
enemies. I DON'T KNOW. What else is going on. What
other sports should they be playing on the moon. Off the top of my
head Tennis might be fun. They'd need to bring their own net, though.
No nets on the moon! I HOPE not at least. If there are
tennis nets on the moon already then I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the
implications of that fact. What's the longest Tennis that ever
happened. Where they go back and forth with the ball and no one misses
it for 10 hours. Hmm Google LONGEST TENNIS EVER. Hmm
there were some results but I got bored before I could click on them.
Such is life.
Ninth paragraph! Wonderful. Surprising
that no astronauts never developed Moon Madness and refused to get
back on the rocket ship and wanted to stay on the moon. I feel like
that'd be a pretty common reaction to being on the moon. Maybe that
did happen and we just don't know about it. Anyway. I kind
of want to develop moon madness. It sounds like fun! I may have
to be on the moon to do it, though. DAMNIT there's always a catch.
Was there ever a time in history where they caution people from staring at
the moon. I know you're not supposed to stare at sun! But I feel
like in ancient civilizations they were also like don't stare at moon
either just to play it safe. That'll give you Moon Madness for
sure! If you stare at it all night! Well if you're staring at
moon all night lets face it you may already have Moon Madness.
What else is going on.
I dunno. Gotta stare at something. That's
true. What else is going on. HMM Mayor election must be coming
up soon. I'll vote for that! Well, I'll vote In that.
I'm not gonna cast a vote either in favor or not in favor of there being a
mayor election soon. There definitely will be! They're not
holding a vote on it at all! Hmm seems like a scam. Oh
well such is life. Maybe some nice PROPOSITIONS this year.
GOOGLE NY PROPOSITIONS 2021. Hey there are propositions!
Well my interest is satisfied. Moving on! Is there a way I
can vote to not recall California Governor Gavin Newsome? I know he's
already been rescued from recollection but I'd like to formally offer my
support and approval as well. Hmm. If I lived in
California but lived in New York could I vote in California elections?
If I'm a citizen of California I mean. I dunno. Some rich
people live in multiple places. And they truly do split the time
evenly. Can they vote in one state? None? TWO?
I'd look into this but I don't care. I'll be back soon!
Oh You Don't Say
friends. I'm back! And it's been Roughly Soon so it's all going
according to plan. Gonna write Act II, take shower, Act III, Walk,
Laundry, RECALIBRATE!!! Recalibrate is arguably the most
anticipated part of the day. It rarely is That Great-- a positive
experience, sure, but not the best part of the day by any means-- but for
the first 40% of the day that's what I'm looking forward to!
Fascinating. Looks like Newsom survived his Recalibration Election
by a longslide! A real landshot! I imagine it's a Wonderful Life
scenario and he runs around town saying Merry Christmas to Buildings.
Now that he sees what life would have been like without being recollected.
Sure. I never saw that movie. I feel like I get the gist of it
though. It's possible Jimmy Stewart also wishes merry Christmas to
people but as far as I know it's mainly Buildings And Business Enterprises.
Cool. Laundromat gave us a single Baby Sock
2-3 weeks ago when we went there last. We kept it this entire time!
Then DIDN'T bring it into them today. Gotta wonder what we're
saving it for if we're not giving it back. I'd ask my parents about it
but that's their business not mine. Just like how my life is my
business not theirs. In fact we are both incorporated with specific
guidelines to forbid one another from participating or even engaging with
each others' enterprise. Go figure. Been reading about
people who get Covid 19 even though vaccinated and wearing masks all the
time. Uh oh. That's what I DO. I don't wanna get
Covid anyway! Doesn't seem fair. And I hope we've established
that as far as I'm concerned I'm going to continue assuming life is more or
less fair even though there's so much evidence to the contrary. It
makes life EASIER to assume as much! Hey today is Yom Kippur.
Hmm maybe I'll pray to God in a little bit. And by Pray I just
mean Open A Dialogue. Not so much kissing his ass but just
havin' a nice back and forth. Well there's no back and forth.
A nice Forth. There we go.
Penpenultimate paragraph of the act! I don't
believe it. The main thing is we're supposed to atone for our sins of
previous year, I think. Hmm. Gonna have to think about which of
my actions and thoughts were sinful. Off the top of my head I can't
distinguish between Good And Bad. Well if I do it it must be good,
right? Otherwise why did I do it. I don't wanna be bad!
Anyway what else is going on. Hmm. I didn't go OUT OF MY WAY
to get Covid last year and prevent someone else from getting it.
That's how it works. If you get it then that stops another person from
getting it. Either because There's A Finite Amount Of Covid so by it
JUMPING to you it LEAVES someone else. OR because it's a Final
Destination scenario where Death/Fate has it in for Someone To Die Of Covid
and if you do it then obviously Death/Fate is gonna let someone else go.
So basically me not getting covid seems like a real dick move either way it
I STILL HAVE SEVEN HOURS TO GET COVID. Oh boy
oh boy what's the easiest way to get covid. Interesting thought
experiment. If you wanted to get covid IMMEDIATELY-- as immediately as
possible-- what exactly is your best course of action. Figure out the
nearest place of mostly unvaccinated and unmasked indoor people. But
WHICH PLACE is that! Hmm gonna have to think about this one.
As a thought experiment! I can't be wasting time Thinking About This
One if I really wanted to do it. Just pick a place and go
there-- quick! Anyway what else is going on. OH WAIT THE
HOSPITAL. Duh! People there DEFINITELY have it in certain
wings. Oop but they won't just let me into people's hospital rooms.
I need a place where I could get inside! Hmm that adds a new
wrinkle to this equation.
Last paragraph of the act!
Wonderful. How long do bodies carry Covid after being dead. Well
that's no good anyway. If I can't get into a hospital wing how am I
gonna get into a buried person's casket at the cemetery. WITH
INGENUITY! Yep maybe that checks out I dunno. What else is
going on. Think I'm gonna take a bath today. There's no reason
not to! Maybe there are a few small reasons not to. Timewise,
overall water use and effect on environment, ultimate personal cleansliness--
but these differences are SLIGHT. So there's that. Gettin
REGULAR animal crackers for upcoming super market order AS WELL AS
mini animal crackers. Variety is the spice of life! Also let's
face it the mini animal crackers are better PLUS I can have them more often
and theoretically more at once. Okay let's face that sure I
don't have a problem facing that. I'll be back in a little bit.
Get Out Of My House
neutrals. Here to write another 5 paragraphs! Then the
Recalibration Process is one step closer to coming true. Anyway.
Baby sock. That's like that short story about baby shoes. Except
for the sock part. And not the shoe part. Who wrote that.
Was it Walt Whitman? Better LTURQ. It was attributed to Earnest
Hemmingway but possible ERRONEOUSLY! WOW! I GET TO USE THE
WORD ERRONEOUS? This is shaping up to be a GREAT day. Anyway
if a story about baby shoes is great we can only imagine baby socks is even
better! Slightly better! Maybe slightly worse! Depends on
your point of view I guess. Here's the best six word story I could
come up with-- BABY SHOES BABY SOCKS SIX WORDS. Also it's kind
of five words because I expertly use the same word twice.
Cool. Without giving anything away, lunch will
occur in roughly three and a half hours. Slightly less! But
it'll probably still be GOING ON in three and a half hours.
Wonderful. Delicious! Almost as delicious as the bath I just
took! I don't think I swallowed any bathwater but lets be honest I
probably swallowed about .00001% of bathwater accidentally. If
you're not swallowing SOME bathwater in your bath You're Doing It Wrong!
Gonna have to look into that one. Also is it possible we can put
Chlorine in Drinks? I like how it tastes in pool water! But I
can't go around drinking pool water! Too much piss in it! So
lets put chlorine in Water Sports Drinks. There's no reason not to!
There might be SEVERAL very good reasons not to. But I don't care
it's worth it! Is there anywhere in the world-- now or in history-- or
maybe even in future-- where they bottle and sell urine. My guess?
DEFINITELY. Not human urine though. That's probably not going
on. But gotta imagine there are countries where they sell urine.
Hmm but just HOW mass produced is it. Sure there's country where
you can get urine in Specialty Shops. That goes without saying.
But are there places where it's made by a Derivative of The Coca Cola
Corporation and whatnot. My guess is NOT QUITE YET.
Wonderful. After human urine what would be
the urine most in demand. RHINO URINE. Off the top of my
head. That's the first thing that comes to mind. Wait a
second why would human urine be in demand at all. DIY. You
urinate ALL THE TIME FOR FREE. Yeah but you want someone else's
urine. I can see that. If you want urine you probably are gonna
want someone else's urine. What else is going on. In
Jurassic Park III the kid uses T-Rex Pee to scare off other dinosaurs.
Because they assume the T-Rex must be near. And peeing.
Gotta imagine that's an extension of Reality that exists In The Real World.
Use predator pee to scare off lesser predators. I don't think JOE
DANTE came up with it himself. No way Joe Dante directed Jurassic
Park III. That'd be too Great A Recall. Let's see the guy who
did direct it. JOE JOHNSTON. See I knew it was a Joe.
I told you all along it was Definitely A Joe!
Anyway what else is going on. Also another
reason to have T-Rex pee is that it's delicious! Hmm. Gonna
have to look into that one! Hey we reached the penultimate
paragraph. Maybe take a 20-30 minute break after Entry before taking
walk. And then go to laundromat directly after walk. Then THE
BEST PART OF THE DAY RECALIBRATION. Also why don't they call
Recall elections Recalibration Elections. Because they're dumb?
Yep! That's the only reason I can think of! Directors don't come
up with extraneous parts of the plot in movies. Unless they're also
the screenwriters. I dunno. Maybe sometimes Directors come up
with extraneous parts of the screenplay without being CREDITED as a
screenwriter. I guess that could happen. As far as I know!
So basically yes Joe Dante came up with parts of Jurassic Park III. I
think that's a relatively safe assumption. Hey great what else ya
Last paragraph! Wonderful. HMM what to
do with newly clean clothes from laundromat later today. Normally I'ma
prefer shirts on hangers. But maybe leave em unhanged for a while
until I'm through with CURRENTLY HANGED CLEAN SHIRTS. So I don't get
confused and wear newly cleaned shirts before slightly older cleaned shirts.
It's IMPORTANT and it's IMPORTANT I tell you about it. That sort of
thing! Wonderful. Mets are pretty much out of playoff
contention. They have 15 games left. They pretty much need to
win all of them! I don't think they're gonna do that!
UNLESS... I got nothin'. Either with Covid Spreading or Predator
Pee. Those are the only dumb things I can think of. Anyway hey
the entry is over. I'll see you again tomorrow. Or for the first
time tomorrow. We will be seeing each other again tomorrow but FOR
TOMORROW IT WILL BE THE FIRST TIME. Tomorrow specifically!
September 15, 2021
Sorry I Got Distracted
Hey friends! Here again to write some Dumb nonsense. Well
there's is Some Sense. Dumb though we can't argue with. The
point is I ate two meals yesterday and guess what that's my business not
yours. I'm gonna do the same thing again today! Deal with
it! The point is hey I got a new day to enjoy. Played some
ROCKSMITH yesterday. I'm getting the hang of it! Well, not
really, but I'm getting the hang of ACCEPTING and STILL ENJOYING my
mediocrity. I haven't improved much over the last 2 weeks but boy oh
boy am I growing Okay with not being great at it! I like it when
the sound of the guitar changes midsong! We're talkin maybe a
clean tone during the verse. Then it changes on its own to distortion
for the chorus! I don't have to do a thing! It knows to do it by
itself! WOW talk about convenience. Now all I need to do
is for them to play the guitar themselves. Then I'm listening to music
and having a blast and a half doing it!
Cool. I think the guy they hired to be the
narrator is GREAT. After practicing songs he has a dozen or two things
he says based on how well you did like NICE PERFORMANCE or SUPERB
JOB. Not only are the phrases encouraging and great but this guy
really seems like he knows what he's doing, encouraging me and whatnot, and
I consider him not just a teacher but a friend! Also, 92% accuracy
and a longest streak of 72 correct note hits? I'M KNOCKING THIS OUT OF
THE PARK. Anyway. What else is there to talk about.
Movies! TV! Mets! Meals are now out of the picture.
Maybe I should start taking Mets &/or Movies &/or TV out of the picture.
But then nothing remains. The picture is completely blank.
There's No Life At All without those four things. Oh wait Walks.
But what's to be said about walks anyway. Nothing! Also what I'm
supposed to come up with Real Stuff to say? What kind of website
do you think you're reading?
Hey what's in the news get a load of this Newsom survived his
Recall Election. Newsom, more like... GRUESOME. See
that's the kind of topical humour you're gonna get if we eliminate other
topics I talk about. Hmm let's come up with a Recall Joke.
Hey have you heard about this what's in the news California Governor Navin
Gruesome survived his Recall Election. I guess more people voted to
not recall him than to recall him! Also wouldn't recalling him be
keeping him and NOT recalling him be getting rid of him. YES.
We'd like to RE: CALL ON HIM TO BE OUR LEADER. He's RECALLED.
Words are WRONG they're the opposite of what they should be. Anyway.
Not enough soda to last me the next 2 days! Not a fan! That's
not meal talk. That's beverage talk. Beverage talk is allowed
because it's hilarious.
Norm Macdonald died. I can't say for certain that I had
Dirty Work on VHS but I can say I saw it my fair share of times! And liked
it! Also if I did have it on VHS it would have been for only a year or
two but I still watched it my fair share of times! Also SCREWED.
Probably not considered a great movie but it's a sleeper! Lots of
laughs! In both of them. So that's sad is my impression.
But I think he saw it coming because it's cancer. So that gave him
time to get his affairs in order which is good news if not for him then for
his affairs. The point is was Dirty Work truly inspired by AC/DC?
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap? We can't say for sure but certainly that
song shows up on the soundtrack of the movie one would imagine. YEP
IMDB SAYS AS MUCH.
Cool. Coffee after this paragraph! Have
I Seen Norm Macdonald do stand up comedy? Maybe! I could
probably look that up at some point today. Sounds like a good use of
my time. I guess. My guess is Norm is short for
Norman. I can't think of any other reasonable possibility. Hmm
seems like a pretty big coincidence that Norm Macdonald dies on THE EXACT
SAME DAY that Newsom faced his recall election. A little TOO
coincidental I feel. Dunno what that means! Went into it
KNOWING it wouldn't mean anything but I still felt like going through saying
it anyway. Norm Macdonald probably lived in California. Better
LTURQ. Let's hope he had voted by mail. Or in person.
Hours before he died. He died in a hospital in Los Angeles.
So either he lived there or they airlifted him to Los Angeles for some
reason. Wonderful. Also I assume your vote counts if you vote by
mail but die before election day. Right? No reason it wouldn't.
Hmm. What if I started chewing one piece of gum at a time instead of
two. I'd cut my gum consumption by roughly half!
I got coffee going on now. True story.
Anyway. Maybe Norm Macdonald voted for Larry Elder. How much do
we really know about Norm Macdonald. Next to nothing!
He was probably friends with Kevin Pollack. I feel like I saw Norm
Macdonald on a podcast and it was probably Kevin Pollack's. So that's
the extent of what I know about Norm Macdonald. He could be on his
podcast without being his friend. In fact the closer you are to Kevin
Pollack, the less likely you are to be his friend! He has disgusting
personality traits! That'd be my first guess. What else is going
on. Kevin POLE-OCK. Gotta imagine he was taunted with that RUDE
RUDE slur time and again. I'm not saying he SHOULD be. Just that
he WAS. And/or IS. IT'S WRONG THOUGH. Let me make
that abundantly clear.
Cool. Kevin Pollack likes playing poker.
NORM liked playing poker. It's a natural fit! We can only
speculate. What else is going on. I don't like the Caesar's
Online Sportsbook commercials with JB Smoove and Patton Oswalt. This
is BAD NEWS they're participating in. Gonna make compulsive gamblers!
They must have been paid a pretty penny though for this ad campaign is my
guess. So good for them but bad for the rest of us! Unless
they share their Earnings with the rest of us. Are they doing
that? Gonna have to look into that one. Maybe we need to sign up
for Caesars to claim our portion of their earnings. And it's in the
form of a free 5 dollar bet. WOW FIVE DOLLARS? NOW WE'RE
TALKING. HERE PLEASE TAKE MY CREDIT CARD AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS.
Anyway. Seventh paragraph! And it's almost done!
Cool! Gonna give myself a solid D for the entry
so far. I was gonna say D/D+ but then I was like well let's not
push it. Let's be honest about it. If we're not gonna be
funny then at least we can be entertaining and if we're not gonna be funny
or entertaining then we can at least be honest about it. So THERE.
Cool! Looks like California Democrats ain't the dummies we thought
they were! They solidly stood behind Democrat Governor instead
of allowing Republican to become Governor. WELL DONE. YOU
KNOCKED THAT ONE OUT OF THE PARK. Great performance!
That's another thing Virtual Rocksmith Teacher says. Great
Performance! That's one of the things he says when you do a
mediocre job. He wants to be POSITIVE get off his back about it.
Basically it means Well could have been worse I guess.
Theoretically. THEN AGAIN... That would be too long for him
to say. They can't afford to pay him to say that entire phrase!
They'd go over budget!
Ninth paragraph. Wonderful. I guess!
Every time there's an update of how far I am into the entry it's good news.
Because it's ALWAYS slightly more than it I was before. NEVER is it
slightly less. I never finish the 8th paragraph and then go well
you're not gonna believe this but suddenly it's THE SEVENTH paragraph.
So basically it's good news because we all look forward to the end.
Not of life. Of the entry! Maybe of life. That's your
problem! Anyway. I feel like both Dirty Work and Screwed
probably have bad reputations. But you'd be more likely to believe me
if I say Dirty Work is good. But Screwed is good, too! Kind of
slightly more, "PG," but they're both good nonetheless! Also let's
talk about it IT'S PRETTY SOLIDLY PG-13. I dunno where this
PG stuff is coming from. The point is great just great.
Last paragraph of the act! I don't believe
it. Is the Website PG. This website I mean. I
dunno seems pretty PG-13 to me. Moments of Extreme Stupidity.
Where's this moments stuff coming from. I'd say It's PRETTY
CONSTANT Extreme Stupidity. What else is going on.
Unfortunately in my Dad's eyes all Norm Macdonald was was Billy Madison's
Tall Friend. I assume. That's how I described him to my Dad
because I assumed that'd be the main reference he'd get. AND I WAS
RIGHT. Oh well could be worse. My Dad could not know him at
all! And then where would we be! Nowhere that's who.
If I wanted to I could PROBABLY figure out what to buy to make the Rocksmith
Guitar Not Lag At All. The right kind of TV Speakers. And how to
attach them. I COULD do it. I just have been ASSUMING I'm
eternally too lazy to do it so why bother. But now that I think about
it.. it COULD be done. Hmm. I'll be back in a little bit.
I'll Drink To That
Theoretically! Sure! Here I am to write some more paragraphs.
Gonna be a blast and a half to Be Done With Them. So we got that to
look forward to. I've decided to drink soda at will even if it means
I'll have to go a day plus without any. Easier than trying to ration.
Much easier! Also more immediately delicious! ORANGE flavored
soda? Now you've got my attention! I feel like when I was a
kid we'd have Diet Coke. That's it. Any bonus flavor was like
HOLY SHIT WHAT A TREAT A MIX-EM-UP FLAVOR. The point is when I Was
a kid I was easily enthused about things. And lets face it Orange
might have been the biggest treat of all. Hmm. We might
have had Sprite or Ginger Ale in stock. I feel my Dad used to drink
Sprite when he sued to drink soda. And my Mom may have used to drink
ginger ale! EITHER WAY THIS IS FASCINATING WEBSITE DOFFER.
Cool. Hmm. Cool. At this
point I don't know if I'm ever gonna try New Coke Zero. I feel like
the window has closed for me to be a trendsetter either in favor of it or
not in favor of it. Also are influencers ever ANTI something.
They try to get a sponsorship from something and they're denied and they're
like I'LL MAKE YA PAY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. Gotta imagine
influencers have to be Anti-Things once in a while just to have some balance
to Their Web Show. Might as well make those negative reviews Out Of
Spite. Seems the most logical way to do it all things considered.
The point is Patton Oswalt and JB Smoove must be getting paid A FORTUNE to
be influencers in the Caesar's SPortsbook App TV Commercial To Remember.
We know we're supposed to remember it because of the credibility lent by
Patton Oswalt and JB Smoove. THEY'VE GOT MY ATTENTION!
Third paragraph of the act! BOTH FROM THE START
AND FROM THE FINISH. Really makes ya think. Presumably.
Maybe today I finally take that shower I've been anticipating taking for the
last week. I feel like today has a good shot. THEN AGAIN...
Wonderful. Haven't worn my non-bathrobe robe or my pajamas in a long
time. Since Pandemic Quarantine was semi-lifted! DANGIT.
I bet they'd fit much more loosely on account of being less weight than I
Was at Onset of Pandemic Semi-Quarantine Lifted. Semi-pandemic.
That sort of thing. I remember when people started getting shots I was
like hmm we reached 550,000 America Deaths that's pretty bad. Very
too bad we reached that. Now I realize oh right it keeps going
up more and more at a pretty steady pace. GOTCHA. So that's
life. For most of us. For some of us it's death! I
don't like the sound of that!
Anyway. Is it possible Norm Macdonald got
COVID and is giving us this bogus cancer story to throw us off track?
Well no not really. I don't see immediately what the reasons for that
would be. Then again what do I know. I haven't given too much
thought to it, maybe if I think about it some more I'll figure out Possible
Reasons. What else is going on. He was ASHAMED for some
reason of getting/dying from Covid. But WHY. He wasn't
taking proper precautions. He was embarrassed or he thought it would
lose him fans. Hmm. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this
IF IT KILLS ME. Wait, no. Not that last part. It
doesn't seem worth it if I end up dead! Jeez. What else.
Gotta go get blood work done next week. Fun stuff! Nice prick in
my arm. Who doesn't get a blast and a half out of that. What?
Most people. That sounds inaccurate.
Cool! Acupuncture is an onomatopoeia.
ACK, YOU PUNCTURE? That's the sound you make when it's about to
happen to you. And you need to confirm what's about to happen to you.
And it's the sound in the form of words. That sort of thing.
Next is shower. I can look forward to that. Why shouldn't I.
Even if I don't want it to happen it helps to look forward to it. So I
REMEMBER to do it in the first place. If I don't look forward to it,
in 15 minutes I'll forget completely to do it! I dunno about that.
Not sure. Oh well. I can't wait to see the next comedian to
participate in Caesar's Sportsbook App Ad Campaign. I bet it's someone
else who I respect! MAN these commercials are gonna be a blast and
a half to enjoy. I might as well use this product since it wouldn't be
fair to get all this entertainment out of these commercials for free!
It's not a product. It's a SERVICE. Kind of a product.
More of a service! Hmm. I'll be back soon.
Who's Doing What Now
Hey here we are with more. Took a shower just now! A blast and a
half. I was totally done with it in a fraction of the time it takes
for bath! I need to just lay around WAITING for water to accumulate.
I don't have time to wait for water to accumulate! Maybe I do but I
still would rather not! Do some people just sit in baths. I
think that's what children do. But there's no reason we as adults
cannot sit in baths. Less risk of us drowning! Unless we
breathe with our butts. Then it's exactly the same amount of risk
of drowning. VERY HIGH. I feel like for a while in the
mid-term recent past I would sit in bath until water accumulates some and
THEN lie down. But solidly be sitting for a couple of minutes. I
think that's reasonable VERY REASONABLE.
Coffee time. Wonderful! Dunno what kind
of stuff I'm gonna watch today. Maybe some Dirty Work or Screwed in
honor of that guy who died. If they're available to me! Even if
they are maybe not. I watch HORROR movies that's just the kind of guy
I am these days. Anyway I've been THINKING about meals a lot this
morning and early afternoon. But no explicit talk about it! Does
this count as talking about it? NO! As long as you don't
know the specific meals I may or may not be having on a day to day basis
then I'm doing my job. Hmm seems I could accomplish that by Not
Writing At All Each Day. That WOULD be doing my job yes. But
then I'd.. uh... hmm. I've given myself a lot to think about.
THAT'S why I need to write each day. I give myself a lot to think
about in the process of writing! WOW THINGS TO THINK ABOUT?
Now I've Got My Attention!
Cool. Mostly the titles. Think
about the titles all day. Dunno if I'm happy with these titles
is mainly the recurring thought. Also it's easier to remember the
titles than things in the entry. That explains that! What else
is going on. Sure I'll get some acupuncture. I'm just concerned
I'll get hooked just by doing it once. I'm gonna want needles in my
face ALL the time. It's a gateway drug! But it's just a
gateway to the same drug. But I'd want to do it A LOT. It's a
gateway between Doing It Once and Doing It A Lot. Anyway sure I'd
watch The Gate II. I haven't seen it in 25 years! I'd watch The
Gate I, too, but that I've seen more recently! Hmm did I watch The
Gate II when I was seven AND that was the last time I saw it? Yes!
Very possibly. The Gate Is a horror movie franchise. Gate To
Hell or something. Not really Hell as in Heaven And Hell. I
don't think so at least. Just some sort of alternate dimension where
Evil And Demons live. Wonderful.
I mean I guess evil and demons live in OUR dimension.
But this alternate dimension they're REALLY running amuck. What else
is going on. Finished orange soda this morning. Finished
snapple! Now I'm down to 3/4ths of a 2 liter bottle of diet pepsi AND
My Mom has most of a Diet Dr Pepper that I could drink. She won't like
it! But thems the breaks! If she didn't want me to drink it
she'd have explicitly told me not to. She has told me not to drink
her Dr Pepper many times in the past. Yeah but she hasn't said it
TODAY. NOT YET AT LEAST. At least not to me. She
might have said it at some point when I was not around. Maybe!
Can't say for sure she didn't! Anyway what else is going on.
Apparently Norm Macdonald wrote a book. A memoir book? Or some
sort of half truth memoir book. And half LIES. Better LTURQ.
I might wanna read this sucker! HMM I can't tell the proportion
between Real And Falsehoods in this book but either way it appears it should
be read by me.
In the meantime though let's write a paragraph.
To be read by you! Probably shouldn't be but apparently that's
the circumstance we've reached right now. Oh well that's life!
Anyway let's wrap this up. Gonna take a walk roughly 10 minutes from
right now. That's the estimation I'm making and I'm pretty comfortable
with it all things considered. Then again sooner would be even
greater. And later would be a huge disappointment. So there's
that. Maybe Norm Macdonald would have voted to recall Newsom. I
think he'd pick someone other than LARRY ELDER to replace him, though!
Based on my limited understanding of Norm Macdonald, California, Governor
Nominations, And People's Names. Wait a second his name really is
exactly Larry Elder? I was SURE I was oversimplifying it and/or
getting a couple of syllables completely wrong. Oh well. Now
I know the name Larry Elder. For permanent. That's life. I'll be
September 14, 2021
I Have Something Better To Do
Hello friends. I'm back here again. For some reason I suppose.
Wearing a nice purple shirt. I don't wear this shirt that often!
It's kind of a dumb shirt but as a mix-em-up I don't mind wearing a dumb
shirt today. Drinking some SNAPPLE. Diet snapple! Oh no
is that Meal Talk. I'm gonna say NO. Beverage talk!
Beverage talk is NOT off limits. If I couldn't talk about beverages
I'm drinking you'd have no CONTEXT for the things I'm saying. WHY did
I capitalize context. It serves it's purpose BETTER without being
emphasized! Great. What kind of fillums can I watch
today. I watched a film of the Mets losing 7-0 yesterday! Well I
watched the majority of it! Well I watched roughly half of it! I
took BREAKS because I needed to refresh myself. Anyway. I get
very upset every time the umpire makes the wrong call for a ball or strike
and that call hurts the Mets. THIS ISN'T FAIR. THIS IS A
MICROCHASM OF LIFE. LIFE ISN'T FAIR. THIS IS TERRIBLE NEWS.
Anyway. Hey my parents were somewhere this
morning too when I woke up. Maybe a surgery check up. Reunion.
They celebrate the fun they had 24 hours ago with a Catching Up Session.
Either way they're home now. Which is good news! They could have
EASILY died in a car accident either to there or away from there. Or
perhaps while there. We can't rule out completely that they rode go
karts for fun for an hour or two. Hmm I don't think I've ever
droven a go kart. Seems like a pretty big oversight. I've
never driven anything! EXCEPT FOR A CRUISIN' USA. Okay great
CALM DOWN. Drove go karts for fun. Is there another
reason to drive go karts. Well sure for transportation!
That's just obvious. POSSIBLE I drove a bumper car once or twice.
I MAY have a sense memory of being in a bumper car. It's possible I
just got in the car for fun and then got out before any bumping could
Cool! Who the hell came up with bumper cars.
HEY you know what people would get a kick out of? DRIVING INTO EACH
OTHER. What a visionary! Anyway. I feel like 50% of
people in bumper cars go out of the way to hit people while 50% of people in
bumper cars kind of are trying to just drive around and avoid people.
That's a good way to measure your personality. In bumper cars do you
drive at people or away from people? Hmm. I think I'm a
Drive Around People. LOOK I'm gonna get bumped in the natural course
of things, so why force it? Let the bumping COME TO YOU. That
sort of thing. Are there SOMEWHERE bumper cars where there's room
for passengers. They figure they can cut the lines wait time in half
by having people sit behind the driver of the bumper car. HEY you're
still gonna get Just As Bumped! And now you don't even have to drive
you can just sit back and enjoy yourself!
Sure. Sign me up for some Bumper Bikes. Now
there's greater steaks! You get bumped you're gonna fall down and hurt
yourself. But on the other hand, you bump someone else, they're
gonna fall down and hurt themselves. So it evens out in the
end. You suffer some but you also CAUSE some suffering! So in
the end it's a fair deal. What else is going on. Anyway.
Do you need to balance on Motorcycle as much as you would on regular 2 wheel
bike? Or is it easier. Because I can't balance on bike.
But MAYBE just MAYBE I can balance on a Motorized Bike. Seems more
sturdy! What else is going on. Also I don't get the point of
bikes. Let's all just ride Tricycles. Why make things more
complicated than they need to be? Doesn't check out! So there's
Coffee after this paragraph! Wonderful.
Why not have four wheels. Let's really play it safe! I
call it A CAR. Anyway what else is going on. Are there
non-motorized car-like four wheel vehicles? My guess? Sure why
not I don't care. Anyway. I HAVE used Exercise Bike a couple
dozen times in my life. Not a huge fan! Feels like a lot of work
AND apparently it doesn't burn off that many calories compared to other
stuff. MORE WORK and LESS RESULTS? Sign me up for NOT doing
that. However it feels like a lot of work! So maybe there are
more results! That makes sense more than wherever I got the idea that
the opposite was the case. Either way I forget what's going on.
Neighborhood Exercise Room is opening back up! But I'm not going
there. Gotta play it safe! Also that would involve physical
strenuous work. Gotta play it safe and not perform physical strenuous
I was just downstairs pouring my coffee and I almost
idly asked my Mom so did you do Go Karts today? True story!
I didn't, though. Which is a relief because that'd sound pretty dumb!
And all things being equal I'd rather not sound dumb. Then why do I
write these entries. I said All Things Being Equal. All
things ARE NOT EQUAL in reality. So with the reality equation of
inequality I am unfortunately forced to write these dumb entries. I
don't like it either but that's life! Cool. Got ZOOM
appointment with psychiatrist this afternoon. I can live with that!
It'll ideally last 5 minutes. Because I got THINGS to do. One
would imagine. Maybe we can talk about my feelings about the shirt I'm
wearing today. We don't' talk about my feelings at all.
Seems like kind of a rip off!
Now I have no one to talk to about things! NO ONE
AND NO WHERE. Seventh paragraph. Jeez. My Mom has indeed
finished The Wire. Now I'm encouraging her to re-watch other shows
that I'd like to hear here and there throughout the day. I've
suggested The Sopranos and she balked at that. Next I'm gonna try to
trick her into watching DEADWOOD. That's even better than The
Sopranos! Man oh man I'd listen to some Deadwood Dialogue here and
there over the course of several days. I'm getting hot and
bothered just thinking about it! Anyway. Looking forward to
ending Act I. Always a key part of my day. Hey in a way I'm
more than halfway done with the entry which is main chore for the day.
Paragraphwise I'm exactly halfway through. HOWEVER in terms of writing
10 paragraph acts I'm 100% done! From here on it's no more than
5 paragraph acts! AMAZING.
Cool! No Meal Talk yet today. So far so
good! I'm gettin' there. There being a whole day without
specific meal talk. The journey of a thousand steps begins with a
single step! Hmm that's a pretty short journey. A thousand
steps? That's gotta be like half a mile. Better LTURQ.
HOLY SHIT Internet says a mile is 2,000 steps. I AM A GENIUS IT
TURNS OUT. I always SUSPECTED I might be a genius and now here's
the proof for one and all to see. Anyway that takes some OOMPH away
from the joke. I lost enthusiasm for A Journey Of A Thousand Steps and
became more invested in whether my estimations were accurate. Anyway
journey of a thousand steps that's a laugh and a half. It amused
me! That's halfway there all things considered. What else is
going on. How about Bumper Walking. Get some protective gear on
and run into people. WELL WHICH ONE IS IT, WALKING OR RUNNING.
That's up to you! Go at whatever speed YOU feel comfortable with!
Ninth paragraph! I guess! Had a nice
nighttime walk last night. Good to mix things up! Maybe I should
do it again tonight! I probably won't but maybe I should have!
In the future. My life could be better if I Do but I Probably Won't.
So there's that. Anyway was watching DRAFT DAY recently. Seen it
a few times. This guy is THE WORST GENERAL MANAGER I'VE EVER SEEN.
He makes NONSENSE trades and Draft Pick Decisions. Not even like Fun
Taking Chances Or Something. Just TERRIBLE strategy. So
basically that's a very upsetting movie. Also before I watched it I
thought it was gonna be about A Windy Day. Now I get that it's about a
Sports Draft. Oh well live and learn. Maybe it could also
have been about an essay that hasn't been edited and finalized yet.
But that didn't occur to me at the time. Still though I guess it MIGHT
be able to be about that. No I saw it and it has nothing to do with
essays. OR DOES IT.
Tenth paragraph! Final paragraph of the act!
I'd write a five paragraph essay. Give me a topic and I'll knock
that out of the park. Ya know what I'm at a point in my student
career where five paragraphs is too short! I'll write a 12
paragraph essay. Still short all things being equal but a lot more
meaty than a 5 paragrapher. No I won't. I can imagine
Finishing the essay and getting something out of it. Putting the
finishing touches on a 12 paragraph essay, the topic of which you decided,
that sounds like fun! The bulk of the essay doesn't sound fun though!
And even LESS fun is the research and critical thinking involved for
PRE-ESSAY. Ugh now I don't wanna do this at all. PLEASE
CALL IT OFF. Anyway. Hey it's time to take a break.
I'll be back in a little bit!
Sure it is. I'm back here with some more stuff to write. Well,
I've currently got Nothing to write. But stuff Will Be Written, of
this we can be sure. Well depends on what your definition of,
"Stuff," is. I guess. That's my Bill Clinton moment!
He wonders what definitions mean. That's how that goes.
Definitions mean What A Word Means. He was wondering what a word
means. What the definition WAS. What the definition of Is
Was. Sure that makes sense. I follow myself, that's for
sure. And that's halfway there all things being equal. Maybe
ge... WAIT NO. I was about to speculate on what I may or may
not get for dinner. I feel like I stopped myself in time. It's a
Halfswing. A baseball halfswing! OH NO UMPIRE IS SAYING I
SWANG AND TALKED ABOUT MEALS? THIS IS HARDLY FAIR. JUST LIKE
LIFE. GOD DAMNIT I WAS REALLY COUNTING ON THE IDEA OF LIFE BEING
MORE OR LESS FAIR. This is TERRIBLE news.
Sure it is. What else is going on. Then
again Life Not Being Fair works to the advantage of some people. No
reason I can't be one of those people! It'll take some getting used
to living an unfairly privileged life but ya know what I Think I Have It In
Me! So that's on way my life can shake out, sure. I hope
not. But that's life I guess. Anyway. Act II --> Shower
--> Walk --> Act III. Then re-calibrate. Or maybe it's just
Calibrate. I dunno if I've done any prior calibrating today.
THIS is calibrating. Right? Sure it is. I Guess.
I'm not sure what words mean exactly, we've already touched on that sad fact
a little bit last paragraph. Anyway. Halfway into September more
or less. I'm gonna say LESS. But still pretty close all
things considered. I guess. Today's a Friday right?
Tuesday? WHAT THE HELL?
Anyway. Two's Day. Romantic Comedy
about really ugly people. HEY FINALLY A MOVIE THAT SPEAKS TO ME.
They're, "Two's." Out of Ten. People don't like them as much
as other people re: Romance because they look weird. At 2 you
don't just look unattractive. You look WEIRD at 2. Something
specific is wrong with you somehow. So you got that going for you.
The point is if you're a two you have your PICK OF ONES. AND
there's a 50/50 chance you can Net a 2 yourself! Gotta look at the
bright side of things. Most things are bright on any side.
Really depends on where the light is hitting them EXTERNALLY, not on any
aspect of the object within itself! I dunno gonna have to look into
that one. A shiny new penny. I feel like we should develop a
system in financiality that accepts coins and bills from the future as legal
tender. Someone comes back in time with Future Pennies? Sure why
not accept that! No reason to deny that guy using Future Pennies AS
LONG AS THEY'RE THE SAME MORE OR LESS.
Hmm. Okay! Better get cracking on that
future soon because pennies could be phased out ANY MOMENT NOW. Right?
Gotta imagine by 20 years from now No More Pennies. I don't feel like
this is too controversial a fact! Although I'm sure they'll MAKE IT
controversial somehow. HEY PENNIES ARE PART OF OUR HERITAGE YOU GET
RID OF PENNIES YOU'RE GETTING RID OF US. Anyway. Bad news
for beggars, I can say that! WAIT NO MAYBE GOOD NEWS.
Presumably with less pennies you MAY have more other coins? But then
again people are DESPERATE to get rid of pennies and not other coins.
Overall I feel this will HURT beggars more than it will help them. W ell
great now I feel everyone will be on board with it. If it HURTS
needy and desperate people then surely we as a society can implement that
change pretty quickly!
Last paragraph of the act! Got plenty of time to
take a nice shower or bath before Walk. Presumably. This
paragraph's length notwithstanding. Hmm. Also pennies are
more or less useless HERE but in other areas of the world pennies can be
worthwhile. But do they use American currency in those areas of the
world. I don't know! I don't think anyone knows for sure!
That's just the kind of thing you can't check out! I'm sure they have
their own currency most places but they MAY ACCEPT American currency.
I don't see why they wouldn't! It's the best currency out there!
USA USA USA. Anyway what else is going on. Also what kind
of person who isn't desperate and needy TAKES a penny. Take a penny
leave a penny. Are there people who are there to buy beef jerky, HAVE
money on them, and are just like ya know what I'm gonna take that eight
cents. If not ME then SOME OTHER JERK so WHY NOT ME. Anyway
great. I'll be back a little bit later.
Now We're Back To Nothing
Hey! Time to wrap this up. Got snapple going. Gonna have
coffee going starting after this paragraph. All in all it's a pretty
good period of 20-45 minutes writing these 5 paragraphs. Could it be
less? Probably not! Could it be more? Probably not!
So what you're trying to tell me is it'll probably take within 20 and 45
minutes. YES EXACTLY YOU CRACKED THE CODE. I took a bath
again! I keep telling myself I'm gonna take a shower but then I'm
always like well taking a bath is EASIER. I don't have to STAND or
anything! Also I don't need to spend the effort to have Water Drip
Down Me to get in every nook and cranny. In bath water gets everywhere
by itself! Less work for me! Hmm PHYSIOLOGICALLY exactly how
many nooks and crannies do I actually have in my body. I can think
of a few off the top of my head! Well I can think of one main one
Great! Got coffee going just as I predicted.
Also in the shower the water is coming off the top of my head. That's
the general point I've been trying to make entirely! What else is
going on. So far I haven't talked about meals at all this entry.
Very close to succeeding entirely! Look I have been thinking
about meals. Maybe not as much as if I were talking about them.
Also it's all very positive thinking. Almost all Looking Forward and
very little Uncertainty In Good Stuff To Get and/or How Much I Anticipate
Enjoying It. It's pretty much working out to all of our advantages,
not talking about it! Especially Yours! You don't care at all!
But also Especially MINE. Now it's more Special and if meals aren't
special then we're doing dieting wrong. Wait no I'm gonna have to
look into that one. UH OH is this paragraph meal talk? No!
I mean YES. But then again NO. But lets be honest YES.
But tangibly NO. But in essence OF COURSE. But I want to
believe NO. Let's move on.
Sure! Gotta look over my medication inventory to see if
I need to re-up with anything with physiatrist. My guess?
Nope! I got plenty thanks for asking. Also could I start
selling Klonopins to people? Sure I could but I WON'T. I don't
break the law that egregiously, thanks for asking! I might break the
law by selling them to people but it would be TOO EGREGIOUS to incite
speculation about whether I'm doing it IN PUBLIC. On THE PUBLIC
INTERNET. Especially if I AM doing it. Which I am NOT.
But I would say that either way. But I'm NOT. I dunno.
I'm sure you believe me. This guy doesn't have it in him to
Interact With People Enough to be a drug dealer. Also-- the Hand
Offs. I'm not athletic enough to multi task Handing Drugs To Someone
While Walking so that there's no obvious drug interaction for people
looking. I don't have soft enough hands! Then again hands are
pretty soft. That's how they feel... to themselves... huh?
Penultimate paragraph. THE FIRST DAY OF FALL
IS IN EIGHT DAYS. Okay jeez calm down. Anyway. HEY
I just cracked this code-- it's called Fall because leaves FALL DOWN
during it. And it's called Spring because plants and flowers
are SPRINGING UP. Now all we need to do is figure out Summer and
Winter and I've got all the seasons down! Amazing. GOOGLE
WHAT DOES SUMMER MEAN. ALSO, GOOGLE, I'LL LOOK UP WINTER AFTER THIS
ONE, DON'T THINK I'M JUST INTERESTED IN SUMMER. OK ANYWAY GOOGLE GO.
Google doesn't know. GOOGLE DOESN'T KNOW SHIT. Google
WHAT'S SHIT. Anyway what else is going on. I forget when I
started this Act and was speculating on how long it might take. I know
what time it is now. I WILL know what time it is when it's
done. But I won't be able to say for sure how long it ended up
Great. I dunno. Maybe write a
worthwhile final paragraph. I feel like The Worthwhile Final Paragraph
is pretty rare. I'm already pretty committed to just typing dumbness
with the goal to just end things as relatively quickly as possible.
Hmm So Far NOT A GREAT START. Here's a time period I know-- I'll
have about half an hour between Entry Ending and Next Walk. These
activities are SO IMPORTANT I had to capitalize the first letter of each
word of them. Now you know I mean business with these Activities!
I mean business getting through these activities. After these
activities I have to do Zoom Appointment and then FINALLY it's time to
re-calibrate and see what I'm gonna do with my Free The Rest Of The Day.
There's another activity we know is important. I guess! Hey
I'm done here. I'll be back tomorrow!
September 13, 2021
Are You Sure You Want To Read This
Hey! Lets start the entry off right. Write some stuff
worthwhile. I dunno I don't remember signing up for this.
20 Paragraphs of Worthwhile a day? That doesn't sound possible.
No one could accomplish that, let alone lil' ol' me! Maybe Stephen
King could. He's the master of horror! One would imagine.
I read a stephen King book when I was 10. I also read Jurassic Park
which I feel may or may not have been written by Stephen king. Has
Stephen King written a Choose Your Own Adventure? My guess?
No of course not. But then again if I know Stephen King as well as
I think I do he sometimes likes to Mix It Up. And what's more of a
Mix-em-Up than a Chose That Own Adventure. Anyway. Did Stephen
King write The Shining. Or did The Shining WRITE HIM.
Cool! My parents aren't home right now.
Mom is having eye surgery on 2nd eye. Dad is there for support.
Tangible support! Driving her around and whatnot. Not just
emotional support. In fact not emotional support at all. Gotta
imagine he wishes her the worst and is going to try to make things less
comfortable for her all things considered. Anyway. Maybe I can
get contact lenses at some point! That sounds great. I'll be
able to see without my glasses on. YEP that's exactly how it works!
You heard it here first. Mr. Smiles had a 3 homerun game last
night! Now that's what I like to see! Even if I had to see the
third homerun this morning because it was past my bedtime last night!
Even if I had to wear my glasses to see it! Anyway I think Lindor
should wear some nerd glasses. I think they'd give him CHARACTER.
Jeez. OKAY FINE what else is going on. I
think Stephen King is so scary because people are scared to read books.
Not just because they're boring but because the written word is horrifying.
WHAT THE HELL LOOK AT THESE WORDS. I'M TERRIFIED OF IT AND WHATNOT.
I dunno what that means. It makes sense to me! Probably not to
you. But boy oh boy does it make sense to me! I DON'T LIKE
THESE WORDS BETTER KEEP READING. OH NO THE FOLLOWING WORDS ARE EVEN
MORE UPSETTING. BUT I CAN'T STOP NOW I'M POT COMMITTED TO THIS
SENTENCE AND oh no OH NO THE NEXT WORDS ARE EVEN WORSE. That sort
of thing. That may or may not be why I don't read as much as I should!
It's either that or no that's nonsense I'm just too lazy to read.
I read TV and movies. Got captions on! Listening to audio is too
difficult to me! I need a BACK UP in case I get tired of listening
halfway through some dialogue.
Cool. Hmm. Three paragraphs out of 20 down.
Sounds like 15% to me! Hmm sounds like 85% is left. Makes
sense. A little TOO MUCH sense. Wait no.
Appropriate amount of sense. There we go. Look have I been
thinking about recent and upcoming meals a bit? Yes. But I think
I am going to make an effort not just for today but for all time to stop
writing about meals. I could say okay I'll devote a few sentences
to it each entry and that's it. But, NO! I need a clean
break! No meal talk! This doesn't count as meal talk.
Meal talk is SPECIFICALLY saying what I have for meals. This is
META MEAL talk. Hmm I'd like to eat a META MEAL. That
sounds delicious AND/OR nutritious! Wait no just delicious.
It sounds not nutritious at all! Kinda feels like I'd get Zero
nutrients from a Meta Meal. Then again if we change how I'm
imagining a meta meal a bit, move some pieces around, sure a Meta Meal could
potentially have nutrients.
Amazing. Coffee after this paragraph!
Delicious. Oh no is coffee a meal. I dunno. Could
be! But that's not speculating on meal. It's just a quick
notification. So there's that. Anyway. There's a few books
from NYU that I found interesting that every year or two I try to start
reading them but never make any progress! In fact each time I start I
make less progress than the time before! Start at page zero.
Maybe one year I make it 20 pages. Then two years from that I pick it
up again and have to start at Ground Zero and only make is seven pages.
Either way INTERESTING BOOKS. Not novels. Other kinds of books!
That sort of thing. Either way gotta imagine I'll get around to
reading them at some point. Anyway. Half of these books are from
the class or two I never finished and/or failed. So it'd be nice to
get something out of those classes. Oh well too late now.
I suppose. Parents just came back!
Coffee time, too! WHAT AN UPDATE TWO FOR TWO. HEY I'm back.
My Mom's surgery went okay. But she was too AWAKE and/or AWARE during
surgery. Very upsetting! For her! Not for me! I
wasn't impacted by it at all. Maybe transitorily through her.
She told me about it! I didn't have much sympathy for her because I
can't relate! I've never had conscious surgery per my understanding.
Sixth paragraph! And only LIMITED discussion about meals.
Hmm. Meals huh. Can't wait. I know I'm not supposed to
talk about it but let's just be honest Meals Are Great. Ugh.
My Dad starts teaching his fall semester tonight! It effects me
because he's tellin me he doesn't want me to take walk during Class Time in
case my Mom needs something. WORKS FOR ME! It effects my final
walk of the day but I can take that LATER after his class which is an
interesting mix-em-up I might get a kick out of!
So there's that. Hmm a mix em up? An
INTERESTING mix em up? That's what life is all about!
Presumably. I don't know what I'm basing that on. Could be
accurate, though! Seventh paragraph. I'm allowed to keep a
running tally of what paragraph we're up to and share that explicitly with
you. I'm allowed to do anything I want! That's life! I
haven't had surgery in a while. Kind of jealous! I dunno if
I've ever had surgery. Now that I think about it, I don't think
I've had surgery! I've had procedures I suppose. No surgery!
DAMNIT. If I had to choose an organ to be removed which one would
be good. Maybe some sort of kidney. I feel I'd get a
blast and a half without one of my kidneys. We got two kidneys
right. That's why it's Kidneys. YEP WE GOT TWO. I feel
that's wasteful! We only really need one! We should be having
ELECTIVE surgeries to remove a kidney for SIMPLICITY'S SAKE.
Okay Fine CALM DOWN. Eighth paragraph! I
don't believe it. I also feel we should be getting organ implants.
I could use a second liver! Why not it couldn't hurt! Hmm
gotta figure out where to get a second liver from. You guys know
anyone interested in selling a liver? Anyway. I feel like in
some countries it's legal to sell your organs if you're down on your luck.
Why not! If that's what you wanna do, go for it! Then again it
would widen the life quality gap between rich and poor. Because rich
will be buying poor's organs. And that's not great for society OVER
ALL. On a person by person basis it might make sense but OVERALL it
just feels WRONG. What else is going on. Oh. Right.
I got MEALS coming up today. No spoilers! But let's just say
I will have A LUNCH AND A DINNER.
Oh no that could be meal talk all by itself.
I could have just BLOWN IT completely! let's say I didn't.
Let's say if I stop RIGHT NOW the meal talk will have successfully been kept
to a minimum! Wonderful. Ninth paragraph! I could
always trade livers to make money. Sell my liver for some cash, buy a
worse liver. Now I still have a liver AND I made a nice profit!
Or the other way. Trade up for a better liver. I've given myself
a lot to think about! The point is what else. Also I've been
talking about liver because I've drank my fair share over my lifetime but
gotta imagine some better lungs would be even better! I haven't smoked
tobacco cigarette in two and a half years but STILL I feel like lungs could
be more valuable to me overall. Hmm this is tough it's a real
Sophie's Choice. Except for The Name Part. It's a real Michael's
Choice. That makes more sense. Because that's my name!
GREAT now people googling, "Michael," in search for Me On The Internet will
find this website. I hate it when that happens!
Last paragraph of the act. Wonderful. I
don't have a problem at all with that! Maybe I do. I forget what
I was talking about so I can't say for sure. Normally last walk of day
is walk in the park. Can't do that tonight! It'll be after dark!
It's be FUN and GREAT to take an after dark walk in the park but it'd be too
dark to see my way around! I can do it AFTER SUNSET but before
COMPLETE SUNSET-- that's a blast and a half-- but for today I'd have to
start after complete sunset. Just can't be done! OH NO.
Anyway that's life I guess! Part of life at least! A very small
part. Even smaller if we're counting All Of Our Lives. It's a
small part of my life and odds are not a part of your lives at all!
Not even a little bit! Anyway great. I'll be back in a
Scroll Down For More
Hey! Here to write some more paragraphs. As of the last sentence
I am officially over halfway through the entry! Amazing.
Looking forward to taking a nice shower after this Act. No bath!
Shower time! MC Shower Time! Not a bad MC name. MC
Shower. I don't know what it means but it feels right to me.
What does MC stand for. Oh. Emcee. It doesn't stand for
anything it's just an alternate spelling. Well then what does
Emcee stand for. Nothing. It's just a word.
Fascinating. OH WAIT. "A Master of Ceremonies." MC.
Emcee. It was an abbreviation BEFORE it was a word.
Interesting! VERY Interesting. I dunno about VERY.
I DO know about very It's VERY. This is a hill I'm willing
to die on. Seems kind of extreme. But either way I Said It
So It Must Be True!
Cool. Nice evening walk tonight! It might
not be in the park but an after dark walk is a blat and a half wherever you
take it! This is when The Fun Stuff Happens. After dark.
I dunno what that means. Raccoons running around. That's the
most fun thing I can imagine that specifically happens after dark in my
neighborhood. Interesting I'd look at some raccoons from afar.
What else is going on. I feel like stores are closed by 8 PM in my
neighborhood. I don't get it! I feel like people will want to
get products and services after 8 PM! And if not people then at least
Raccoons. Whatever. I think rodents get a bad rap. Doesn't
seem right they're the most hated animal subgenres there are. Just
because they're diseased and/or will bite you and/or will invade your Home
Territory and/or are creepy in Sight And Sound. Once you take all that
out of the equation they're just like any other animal LIVE AND LET LIVE.
That's a good slogan! It's EXACTLY what I was
gonna do anyway! So there's that. Just put in phone call to
Endocrinologist about refilling a prescription. Hmm. That's not
a Life Update I give you every day. Although I do frequently have to
maneuver medications and whatnot. Getting them, GIVING THEM... wait
no not that last part. Well I give them to myself. Gotta get
them in the house. Then there's the process of giving them to myself!
Sure I guess that checks out pretty well. No it doesn't.
Oh well what are ya gonna do. Whatever. Hmm. Finish
this act. Take a shower. Write next act. Take a walk.
RECALIBRATE FROM THERE. Okay jeez recalibrate fine just stop
yelling at myself! I deserve better than to be constantly Yelled At By
Myself. What else is going on. Nice regular nighttime Mets game
tonight. No WEST COAST 10:00 PM Night game. A regular 7:00 game!
I'd say an Evening Game but evening would be a 6:40 game. 7:00 is a
night game! EVERYONE KNOWS 7 PM is the cutoff between evening and
night. Then again I DUNNO there's MANY other ways to look at
Fascinating. VERY fascinating. Jeez.
Maybe sundown is cutoff. Complete sundown! Regular sundown while
it gets dark for 20 or 30 minutes is part of evening. Only when it's
completely dark has Night Come Into Play. Hmm. This is
dumb. Too dumb! I'm not happy with myself but oh well what are
ya gonna do. That's life! UNFORTUNATELY. LOOK
the later your night goes the later you can have an evening. If you're
goin' deep into the A.M.'s then sure why can't 8:00 or 9:00 be Evening.
It CAN that's why it can't! Anyway. If the Mets go 14-4 over
their last 18 games they can probably make the playoffs! That's
totally reasonable. Just DO IT. Win a lot more than you lose
over JUST A PRETTY SHORT TIME PERIOD how hard is that what are you idiots or
something? My feeling is they may be idiots because they DO lose half
the time. Seems dumb to me but that's just my perspective as a fan!
Last paragraph of the act! Look I get you wanna
lose sometimes just to keep things fair and interesting. But
keep it in perspective! HMM as of now you don't know what I
have coming up for Meals. Or what I had for Meals since last entry. It
feels ODD to keep this information from you. Then again I kind of like
it! It should be private! If I'm sharing meals with you then it
loses some of it's specialness. I don't know why exactly. It's
just something I should be enjoying privately to fully appreciate!
Hmm I've given myself a lot to think about. No I haven't. It
wasn't really any thing worth thinking about at all, and I've already went
above and beyond how much I should think about it by Thinking About It At
All. So there's that. Anyway time to take a shower!
You Made It To The End
Hey! I got coffee going on. That's fun. It's a real,
"Blast," and, "A Half!" The exclamation mark is theoretically for the
entire sentence and not just the mini-phrase, "A Half." Wait.
No. Maybe it's the other way around. Either way, whichever
way it's intended, there's only one way to write it correctly grammarwise.
So basically who cares is the point that's just the way it is! I know
what meals I'm having for today. Keeping it to myself! Got a
good idea of he order I'm gonna have them in! Playing that pretty
close to the vest, too. FINE Let's just say I'm going to have the
smaller meal for lunch and the bigger meal for dinner... AS OF NOW.
DAMNIT I had the entire entry without giving a Specific Detail about meals.
Per my recollection. This BROKE that streak. Oh well now it's
time for a new streak to start.
Speaking of the word STREAK the bigger meal for today
is based around STEAK. Okay I GUESS NOW'S the time for the
new Streak to start. What else is going on. Hmm I could
probably Beat The System and take my Dad's math class for free! I
could just sit off camera his entire lesson. I can trick him into
giving me all the homeworks and tests for myself. I can't get him to
GRADE THEM or individually instruct me in anyway because he's not getting
paid to do that so why would he. So I can get half of what I wanna get
out of the class for free. Well if it's only halfway why bother at
all. I guess at this point I'm pot committed to taking the course
myself. Wait, no, that's not right! It's too late now!
Probably. I think if I was already a Patient at Kingsborough
Community College I could sneak in there for the week probably. But
first I'd need to enroll in the college completely and THEN get into this
class late. Can't be done! Probably could be done! I don't
feel like it though!
Penpenultimate paragraph. Wonderful! Gonna
have some fun watching The Television Set after walk. That's my
prediction for the result of my re-calibration. Mostly watching the
Television Set! See what kind of dumb stuff shows up on there.
I've got semi-control over what dumb stuff shows up! I theoretically
have Total Control but I'm being influenced by outside forces as well as
what's specifically available to me on Live TV and/or Streamers. It's
already narrowed down for me AND I'm unconsciously shaped from external ways
that could determine what I pick specifically from that narrowed down
selection. Oh no how terrible. What else is going on.
No break between finishing entry and walk! I could take a small break
but I wouldn't be able to accomplish much in it so why bother. Save
that small amount of time for after walk where it can be a supplemental
amount of time to a longer period of time which could theoretically
accomplish even more with the augmented time. Huh.
Yeah! Might as well talk more about meal
today. At least the one you already got some inside information on.
Steak is part of STEAK AND EGGS. I will have HALF OF IT for one meal
today. Eggs are scrambled. Potato side is Frenched Fries-- first
time I'm having them in months! It's all Very Exciting and I can't
wait for it to manifest itself in reality. Well now not as much as
10 minutes ago. It was SPECIAL while it was just for me. Now
WHO CARES. Might as well throw it out in the trash it's worthless to
me. Then again I'd be spoiling the trash can by serving it Full
Meals. STEAK Full Meals at that. Once you start feeding
trash can full meals it's gonna want full meals all the time. And I
can't AFFORD that. And even if I could I wouldn't WANT to.
Ugh. What else is going on. Are trash cans only what they're
called if they're some sort of metal bin. If you have a wooden or
plastic trash bin is that Not A Trash Can? We all know soda cans are
aluminum. Do we. I don't know if I Know That.
Anyway one more paragraph.
The point is what else is going on. I'm NOT going
to tell you what the other meal is for today. Just so I could look
back at this entry and still think I kept SOMETHING to myself.
Because in the end it doesn't matter that I lasted until the very end to
tell you about the first meal. I still said it! So just so this
entry can go down as A Half Win the other meal is Unknown for now!
Although if you look at the clues you can figure it out. What
clues. Hmm I dunno that's for you to figure out! What
else is going on. I dunno! That's why I asked you!
Anyway. I don't like it when the Mets play the Yankees at home but
25-50% of the crowd is Yankee Fans. THIS IS WHERE WE LIVE.
HOW DARE YOU INVADE OUR HOME SPACE WITH YOUR DUMB YANKEE FAN NONSENSE.
Also are Yankee fans dumb? I don't know-- I'm just raising that
question. All fans are dumb. All people are dumb!
Except for Oh I Don't Know Tampa Bay Devil Rays and their fans. Hmm
good team name it rhymes. Wow. I'll see ya later!
September 12, 2021
Sounds Good To Me
Hey friends. Back here again! That happens roughly every day.
I took roughly one day off when my routine changed from Quarantine Routine
to Non Quarantine Routine. That's life I guess! I guess I can
look forward to taking another day off when Quarantine Starts Up Again!
Oh no that might happen. I don't want that to happen! I
like walking around outside. Ya never know what you're gonna get!
Anyway. I feel like when I first started taking walks I seriously
considered okay but don't walk NEAR other people. Someone starts
walking in your general direction YOU CROSS THE STREET. I don't do
that at all anymore! I don't think about being near other people one
bit! Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I feel. I still think about
going INSIDE places. But in terms of walking near other walking people
it just happens without me being concerned about it.
Oh no! I'm gonna die! Wait a second that
checks out. I AM gonna die. Oh well I've lived a long and
fulfilling life one would imagine. The good news is I have pastrami
sandwich lined up for lunch. Delicious! I will potentially be
using Old White Bread. It's healthy because I can't immediately see
any mold! Not yesterday at least. Maybe by today I can see mold.
Oh well if the mold is less than a day old then it's still fine to eat.
I feel like I heard that somewhere. If the mold is old and you've
kept it cold go ahead and eat it. Also I've kept bread loaf cold
in fridge. That's an important part of this equation! Plus it
rhymes with mold and old! Amazing. OH RIGHT I'm writing this
entry. Just spaced out for a second. Changed light bulb in
bathroom a few days ago! We're talkin I did it with my Dad
supervising. We're talkin I probably coulda did it myself! Was
simple enough. Some screwing and/or unscrewing. Steppin' on a
stool. I feel like the last half dozen times I've had to do chores
which involve stepping on stools I Was Half Drunk. And I remember
being like well this isn't WISE of me and I feel kinda uneasy on this
stool and doing stuff where I can fall but then again I THINK I GOT THIS.
Anyway when I'm not drunk I REALLY got this. I'll stand on a
stool and reach up all day long if I have to!
Anyway. Wonderful! Coffee Time is slowly
creeping up. I can pour that sucker after next paragraph.
Sometimes it's before paragraph 5, sometimes after! It's totally up to
me! No one's gonna say shit either way! Had a nice small black
and white cookie for breakfast. Delicious! I like the part where
it's icing. Black icing? White icing? I'm happy with both!
Also the part where it's cookie? LOVE IT! I'm on board with
these cookies 100%! Also keep them black and whites in the fridge!
Slightly harder and more cold then leaving them out! ALSO THEY LAST
LONGER YOU IDIOTS why aren't you putting your cookies in the fridge?
You don't buy cookies all the time? BUT WHAT DO YOU EAT FOR BREAKFAST?
Your story isn't adding up at all and I'm starting to get the sense you're
some sort of idiot. Anyway. Time I can relax diet because I
don't wanna lose more weight is slowly creeping up! You know what that
means! I can eat black and whites for breakfast BUT 2-3 TIMES THE
AMOUNT. HOLY SHIT that's a lot of cookie! By which I mean
Carlos Carrasco. Great now this page is gonna show up when people
google Carlos Carassco. I don't need that kind of hassle!
Maybe I do. Gotta have some sort of hassle!
That's life. A collection of hassles! Still have 2/3rds of a
chocolate chip pancake. I could make a strange meal of combining that
with a cup of noodles. Sounds fairly reasonable. I don't
particularly like having thirds of pancakes for breakfast. SOMETIMES I
do but not ALL THE TIME. I'd like it better as part of a meal!
And cup of noodles is the only thing I can think of that would go with it
appropriately SIZE-WISE. So there's that. Then again I gotta
eat this pastrami! So you can see the kind of predicament I'm in.
Maybe you can't. You have no imagination. I said it pretty
explicitly and you STILL can't see it. In which case I get the
sense you're some sort of idiot. The good news is I'm going to save
coffee until after next paragraph.
Got something to look forward to! A BREAKFAST BEVERAGE.
I feel like if I were having an adult sleep over, in the morning they'd
offer me breakfast and coffee. Like a family sleepover or something.
Maybe not a friend. I could get used to this! I'll eat a
FULL breakfast for a special occasion. Some EGGS and toast and some
ORANGED JUICE. DELICIOUS! What's going on. Where am I.
Oh, right. HMM when I am done with diet maybe I can make myself eggs
and toast on occasion for breakfast! I was imagining just Big Cookies!
Also frozen breakfast sandwiches which is reasonable. But at
this point I know how to make eggs and it doesn't take so long! I CAN
DO IT. FRESH BREAKFASTS. I don't believe it. HMM
would I need a third component. Eggs, toast, and... HMM.
Eggs and toast might just have to do it themselves! DOES ORANGED
JUICE COUNT AS THIRD COMPONENT. Yes. Yes it does! I'm
gonna take a MicroBreak to get coffee! WAIT A SECOND HOW ABOUT JUST
A BAGEL FOR BREAKFAST. OH MY GOD THERE'S MANY WONDERFUL
Look sure I'm not saying anything new here. You know
what things people have for breakfast! But it's FUN for ME.
Imagining it all for myself! Also I could have Single Pancakes or
Frenched Toast. SO MANY OPTIONS. I'm going crazy just
thinking about it. Overstimulated! I don't know how to turn
off my excitement! Oh right that switch in the back of my head.
Okay now I'm feeling better. What else is going on. Sixth
paragraph! Got coffee just like I said I would. Mets still
hanging in there. Odds are very low they make playoffs but it's
statistically relatively possible. The good news is they're playing
better which is a blast and a half to watch even if they lose. Then
again SOMETIMES THEY DO POORLY IN INDIVIDUAL AT BATS. I don't know how
I feel about that. Pete Alonso STRIKES OUT?!?! But he's
supposed to be GOOD. Hit some homeruns! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS
BULLSHIT. That's how I feel.
Also Lindor may be a superstar but he just LOOKS like a
Good Scrappy Player To Me. I like that generally! Scrappy
players are fun and I imagine him to be THE BEST SCRAPPIEST PLAYER THERE IS.
But he's getting paid SUPERSTAR money and his stats are that he should
perform at Superstar levels! He just LOOKS SCRAPPY. Which is
good in some respects. Anyway what else is going on. No
reason superstars can't be scrappy. TRUE but Scrappy Players
can't be superstars. I dunno if those two ideas can co-exist.
Sure they can. I just wrote them back to back. In the same
paragraph! They co-exist pretty explicitly. Anyway what else is
going on. Maybe have frozen potato pancake as side with pastrami
sandwich. I can get on board with that! I can get on board with
lots of things. Not surfboard though. That seems too difficult!
I feel like I owned a surfboard for the pool? I
guess it's not a surfboard. You can't surf in swimming pool...
right? But I guess it was a board you're supposed to stand on top
of and balance. So that's a surf board! You can Surf In Place,
right? Without waves? I dunno I'm gonna have to look into
that one. The point is I had that but I don't remember utilizing
it. Fascinating. I'd go swimming one day, sure.
When there's no pandemic afoot. What else is going on. Eighth
paragraph! Wonderful. I got that going for me! I DID IN
FACT watch a few #TalesFromTheCryptTheSummerToRememberSavingsEvent
yesterday. I'd watch more today if I have to! HOWEVER I feel my
first primary directive is to watch a film or two on The Shutter Screaming
Service that I haven't seen yet. Potentially GOOD ENOUGH movies!
Ninth paragraph. Jeez. Mets lost yesterday
but they put together some quality at bats and what more can you ask for.
Them to win. Yeah but... uh... sure. Anyway. I
don't like watching baseball games on FOX. They're
INSANE/CORRUPT/REPUBLICAN. I'm basing this on Fox News. FOX is
related to Fox News. The word FOX is a dead giveaway!
Dead giveaway. That's where they auction off corpses. Is that
a thing. I'd buy a corpse if I could. Gotta imagine once you
own a corpse anything you do with the corpse in the privacy of your own home
is your own business and no one else's. Hmm. If you own a
corpse you can dress up like them and kill people and people will think it's
the corpse. That's one way to live your life I guess.
Last paragraph of the act! I don't
believe it! Wonderful. As of now decent chance I take a walk
after Act II instead of a shower. That's just the way today's schedule
seems to work out ideally! Get off my back about it is the point!
Anyway. Javy Baez continuing to do good for The Mets. I hope he
sticks with the Mets for upcoming seasons. I don't think he will
because he presumably doesn't like the fans because they're jerks to him and
then he had to apologize to THEM. So why would he re-up with that.
But I think he's a good player and balances out the team! Also he's
friends with Lindor and will bring out the superstar in him. And I
like the idea of FRIENDS playing baseball and bringing out the superstars in
each other! Oh well that's life I guess. Is it? I
dunno. It's someone's life. Either mine or theirs. I
forget what I was talking about exactly so it's hard for me to say for sure
Whose Life It Is. Yeah. I'll be back in a little bit.
Either Way I Don't Care
Did I just spend 10 paragraphs talking about breakfasts... the same stuff
I talked about breakfasts 20 times before in the past year? YES
YES I DID. It's FUN because you get to imagine how dumb my life must
be while you read this. Then return to your own Not-Quite-As-Dumb
life! So I make you feel good about yourself I hope. Then it's
all worthwhile. Also it's worthwhile anyway. I waste my own
time. And what is time for if not to be wasted. Anyway
probably gonna take a shower after act II, then walk, then act III!
Wonderful. Hmm. Maybe your life is even DUMBER than mine.
And seeing someone approach your dumbness makes you feel good. I like
the sound of that! Because now YOU'VE got more problems than me.
Suddenly my life seems great. Thanks for that!
Cool. Shower today! I think I took a shower
yesterday. Could have been a bath! Who knows at this point.
Who cares at this point! No one even cared at THAT point. Surely
don't care at THIS point! Anyway. Dunno what kind of Delicious
I'll have for dinner. Right now thinking many a delicious omelet.
Meat omelet would be delicious but Lox omelet would be healthier! And
there'd be presumably more mercury so I'd have that going for me, too!
Anyway. Just changed light bulb! Think there's mercury in there!
So hopefully I'm getting my weekly dose of mercury between those two things.
Anyway. Changing lightbulbs is a part of life where being short does
NOT pay off. Just like all other parts of life now that I think
about it! Except for being trapped in a room and you can crawl
through the air duct vents to get out. That's the only thing off the
top of my head that's good.
What else is going on. Hmm. I guess in
those Japanese Hotels where you sleep in a drawer, you can reserve a Smaller
Drawer. Which is presumably a fraction of the price! That's
good. Also I'm sure those Drawer Hotels are cheaper for those tightly
strapped for cash, but I'd GO OUT OF MY WAY to sleep in a drawer!
Seems like something everyone should experience at least once. That's
how I feel. Being dead in casket is like sleeping in a drawer.
Yeah but you never really get to enjoy it. Unless you have feelings
when you're dead. Which I hope you don't. Because things are
gonna get PRETTY BORING for ya. Anyway what else is going on.
HMM. That's a good reason to be a corpse propped up in someone's home.
Just in case you can still experience things, there's STUFF going on that
engages you. Instead of lying in casket for hundreds of years.
You may not be able to participate in life but at least you can see
SOMETHIN' going on!
Something to consider. No it isn't.
Fine I don't want to argue you. Sure I do. But I can't.
You have no avenue of engaging me in argument! Oh well that's life.
Gonna have coffee #2 with act #3 later on. Gonna be great! I
guess! In first third of the day when I write entry I usually feel
like hey I'd enjoy some video games. Either rocksmith or call
of duty. I NEVER feel like it after the entry is done, though! I
guess during entry I feel like video game would be a nice break but then
during break I feel like video game would be boring. I like a break
where I don't have to do anything. And pressing buttons is doing
things! Too much work. Also if I remember anything about where I
left off at Call Of Duty it's that... uh.. I DON'T remember anything
about where I left off at Call Of Duty. I know I was playing as
Americans in current Mission. Which is too much pressure! I'm
playing as Russians fighting Germans no stakes at all! I could care
less if I die because Russians are chumps. America? Now the
pressure's on to stay alive and keep my America Army Friends alive too!
Too much pressure! What else is going on.
Gonna enjoy nice shower today. That's how I feel! Then again a
nice bath is not without its charms. I dunno. Gotta write
another paragraph before I can move on with my life to next step.
Reach the next Checkpoint so to speak. Once I'm done with this
paragraph and am up to taking a cleansing experience I can Save The Game And
Quit. And do something else! Like Shut Down for several hours.
Hmm that doesn't sound good at all. What else is going on.
It sounds kind of good! But MOSTLY not good. Cool. Better
look up Japanese Drawer Hotels. Make sure I didn't just dream it.
Or see it in a TV show as a spoof but its not real. CAPSULE Hotels
they're called. And I looked at the picture-- Not quite a
drawer but pretty close! Actually, ya know what? QUITE A DRAWER.
Just a VERY BIG Drawer. Wow now we're talking THE BEST OF BOTH
WORLDS! It is still solidly a drawer but there's space to roll
around and stuff? SIGN ME UP! I'll be back in a little bit.
Fine Have It Your Way
Hey! Gonna write a One Paragraph Unit and then give myself coffee to
augment the next Four Paragraph Unit for myself. So I got that going
for me! Anyway I took a bath. It was okay! Pretty much
what I expected! Gotta be conscious of not letting it fill up too much
because there's lint and stuff accumulating near the top of the bath tub.
And if the water reaches that level then it will TAKE OVER THE LINT and then
when I empty the bathtub the lint will go down the drain. Causing a
clog! What do you mean I could wipe off the lint from the bathtub
before taking the bath. That sounds like work and I am VERY
suspicious of doing anything that resembles work. Just doesn't feel
right! Also not sure where all this lint is coming from. SOCKS
is my best guess.
Thinking about having a delicious omelet tonight.
Half of one, at least. Delicious. The amount of delicious
is inversely proportional to the size of omelet! Half the omelet is
twice as delicious. This is NOT a hard and fast rule. JUST
FOR TONIGHT. Maybe stretching into tomorrow for 2nd half of omelet.
But DON'T take this to be a general rule because you'll just get burned.
What else is going on. Ya know what? Maybe have a meat omelet!
Western Omelet if it's Diner. Some other meat if it's Deli. I
Don't KNOW for sure. What else is going on. Got coffee going on
just as I predicted. I'm some sort of soothsayer. Which means
something presumably. Dunno what a Sooth is. But this guy is
saying it, there's no question! Anyway. I have a memory of
making this joke 6 years ago. Which is ODD. Because when I have
memories of making jokes USUALLY it's from within the last year or two.
This memory is goin' back aways! Also by this joke I mean just
using the word Soothsayer and then being like What's up with that?!
That's considered a joke now!
Sorry. You heard it here first. Three paragraphs
to go. Delicious! HEY there was a period of time I would have
donuts from Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. That sounds, well, Delicious!
But I don't want to have to go into a building. You know what lives in
building! Why it's only Covid Pandemic! I'm trying to steer
clear of that. For Health Safety reasons! That's me at least.
Anyway. How come no one has taken sole responsibility for a vaccine.
Seems like there'd be someone who wants attention and praise. Even if
it was a team of people! That TEAM could announce responsibility!
Sure they'd have to share appreciation with the other team members but any
adoration is better than nothing! That's been my experience.
What else. I think saving coffee for paragraph II is really paying
Anyway. I dunno. I guess. What kind
of stuff am I gonna watch when this entry is done. Maybe some sort of
I DON'T KNOW the same crap as yesterday generally? I mean it'll be
SLIGHTLY different crap. But more or less the same crap. It's
Things On TV! Every day that's what I watch. Never stuff out the
window. HEY that's a good idea for caskets. Equip em with a TV
JUST IN CASE. Then you can enjoy eternity in a casket because TV.
OH NO YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL. How about every six
months it cycles through the channels. So you get a taste
automatically of the different kind of stuff that's out there. Over
time. A long time for us. But for you it'll be like the blink of
an eye! What else is going on. I dunno. Gotta imagine at
some point TV becomes obsolete. I don't like the sound of that!
Because whatever replaces TV has got to be EVEN WORSE.
Oh no. Last paragraph! Oh yes.
What else is going on. I dunno. Finished the coffee. I'm
okay with that! I got what I needed to get out of it and now its time
to move on with my life. The Met game tonight is on ESPN. I
dunno if I have a big problem with The ESPN Corporation. I think
they're owned by Disney. Which I think has some stuff against it but
off the top of my head isn't as bad. So there's that.
What else is So There's That. Maybe watch a
#TheTalesFromTheCryptTheSummerToRememberSavingsEvent. I'm FAMILIAR
with all these episodes. I know what to expect! They won't let
me down! OH NO TV in Casket is a real TALES TO THE CRYPT.
Wonderful. Also when you're buried in cemetery can you communicate
psychically with your neighbors. Gotta imagine over thousands of years
you'd develop that skill. You've got nothing else to do! Anyway
I'm done here. I'll be back tomorrow.
September 11, 2021
This Is A Combination Of Words
Hello friends. Another day! Another dollar. Not sure what
that means. I don't want another dollar! I want the same dollar
as last time. At least that dollar I know for sure is legal tender!
Anyway I'm wearing tight shirt today. Because I didn't realize how
tight it would be. Slightly tight! I thought it would be Barely
Tight. Now I feel like an idiot! Anyway I checked my weight and
I'm down another 1.5 pounds in the last 9 days! And you all doubted
me! And you were right to doubt me for 95% of things but NOT THIS.
Shows how much you know! Got delicious bison burger for lunch.
With the jalepeno peppers! So sure I got stuff to look forward to.
I could have delicious super market pasta for dinner! Or get
something with my Dad. DELICIOUS stuff to look forward to.
That's my favorite genre of things to look forward to! Delicious
Also FILLUMS. Anyway I watched that horror
movie yesterday and it was scary and good! I don't know why it got
mediocre reviews. Probably because the critics are some sort of idiot!
I was thoroughly SPOOKED on occasion while watching the fillum. Great!
And it was fun dividing it into 3-4 sessions of watching it. Without
pandemic quarantine I would have seen this in the Major Motion Picture
Theaters To Remember and I'd have gotten bored. Breaks, though?
I'm on board with Breaks! Give me a break, that's what I say!
LOOK did one of my Freedom Chip Pancakes from last night have very little
Freedom (Chocolate) chips? YES but the other one had the normal amount
so you gotta look at the positive side of things. The pancake is half
full. With chocolate chips. On average. Hmm.
Cool! At what point did we start letting
France off the hook for being against the Iraq War. I know we don't
say Freedom Fries ANYMORE. So how long did that last?
Oh. Never? Or maybe one week at the most in the most dumb parts
of the country? Gotta imagine there's a town out there that's like
The Village and they're completely out of the loop and they're still calling
french fries Freedom Fries. Wow scary. I haven't had
Frenched Fries in a long time! Probably not since April! Which
is strange because they're delicious. Anyway. Today is 9/11.
I remember that! I was explicitly told to do so! 20 years.
Long time. Short time! Intermediate time. Let's agree on
that. Split the difference! It's been an intermediate amount of
time. I can't full recall how big a deal the World Trade Center was
before 9/11. I mean I know For A Pair Of Buildings it was PRETTY well
known and important. Maybe the most well known 20th century buildings
in the world, and if not then in the top 5! But then again they
were buildings. Office buildings. Good For Them.
So there's that. Anyway. I know they
were the TALLEST buildings. Or at least IN THE CONVERSATION.
Wow a Tall Building? NOW YOU'VE GOT MY ATTENTION. Anyway I'm
gonna re-up with soda and then after next paragraph start-up with coffee!
I was just talking to my Dad about it and I may have been to the world trade
center at some point when I was very young! We were there for some
reason. My Dad is hazy on the details! But we went to a diner
nearby. That's what he remembers. Hmm that's one thing my Dad
and I have in common. We're both more prone to Remember The Diner
Nearby than Whatever Place Was Primary Place We Went To. Was it
primary place we went to? What did we do just TOUR the office
building? I dunno. My Dad is hazy about it I told you!
Hmm a diner nearby? I'd go to a diner RIGHT NOW. I don't even
CARE what it's nearby or not. THEN AGAIN being nearby a place is GREAT
Whatever. What else is going on. My mom
was halfway through season III of That Wire last night. Gotta imagine
she's into season IV by now. Wonderful. Also World Trade Center
has Brother Buildings. Why! I don't know. Also I assume
it's a Twix Commercial Situation. Each building is actually the same
but there's a fake competition about which one is better because they're
supposedly slightly different. Oh well I guess we'll never know.
What we do know for sure is that when standing the WTC was as delicious as a
Twix. I'd eat a Twix. Especially in a diner. Nearby
Ground Zero. I feel like it's not Ground Zero anymore. Now
it's just where Freedom Tower is. What's the new building there
called. Freedom Something. "One World Trade Center."
That's dumb. Should be called The Freedom Tower! HMM it USED
to be called The Freedom Tower. Now it's called One World Trade
Center. Well we've learnt a lot these past few sentences haven't
HEY these mini animal crackers would make a GREAT
terribly unhealthy cereal. It just occurred to me! Alright
now I get royalties once THEY realize it'd be a good selling cereal.
Now we play the waiting game! Anyway. Got coffee now! I
don't believe it! Think I'd rather have Super market meal for
dinner tonight. Right now thinking about Wide Al Fredo!
Wonderful. How deep into the entry are we. 5 paragraphs out of
20. Hmm this is a real head scratcher. I wanna say
approximately 25% in off the top of my head! Fascinating.
Gotta imagine there's a Tower Of Terror either in Old WTC or New one.
That's the main tourist attraction! Wait a second the REAL Tower Of
Terror, I don't think they ACTUALLY drop you several floors quickly in an
elevator. It's all A FAKE MOTION SIMULATOR. So I GUESS they
could have that in the WTC. But they could have that anywhere!
Yeah but in the WTC it REALLY SELLS the idea you're in an elevator.
Also it takes 10 minutes for you to drop completely because it's just that
Anyway so there's that. How big is each floor.
15 feet? Times 100? That's 1500 Feet. That's NOTHIN'.
I thought these buildings were supposed to be high up in the air? 1500
feet? You can practically SEE THE GROUND from what height. Not
impressed! Looks like floors were around 13 feet. Not
impressed! Sorry. Oh well what else is going on.
Seventh paragraph! SOLIDLY in Average BMI territory.
Impressed! Very impressed with myself. So the tally is Not
Impressed with WTC Floors, Yes Impressed with Personal BMI Territory.
Ugh. What else is going on. I feel like if you were doing
weekly polls of George W Bush his approval rating would have spiked YET
AGAIN these last few weeks. People have learned NOTHING.
Dunno about that. Maybe it's just me. And when I say that I
DON'T mean maybe it's just me who spiked his approval for George W Bush.
I mean maybe it's just me that I would even think of that. Also
now that I think about it In Most Situations It Is Just Me.
Eighth paragraph! I don't believe it.
What's the new Best Building. I feel like people must have been
underwhelmed by new WTC Building because no one talks about it.
Maybe THE SEATTLE SPACE NEEDLE. I dunno about that. Is that
just a decoration? Or do people really live and/or work in the needle.
Better LTURQ. I think it's just a tourist attraction. A STRANGE
waste of money tourist attraction. Well clearly they're making
money otherwise they wouldn't be doing it. Not necessarily!
They spent a lot of money to make it in the first place because they
ANTICIPATED making lots of money. But people were undhwelmed by it and
now they're stuck with it making Note Enough Money To Cover Their Original
Investment. Sounds about right. Also what else is going
on. Gotta be some better 20th century buildings out there.
Actually SHHHHH KEEP IT ON THE DOWN LOW. Once we anoint a
successor to WTC as Best Building then that building is in the Target Seat!
Penultimate paragraph of Act I! GOOD IDEA we
choose Seattle Space Needle. VERY HARD to hit it with a plane.
It being a needle is REALLY working out to its advantage! Well
that's perfect this works out great. Hijacked plane would have to
double back several times until it finally hits it. And by that time
we can shoot it out of the sky. Safely! I dunno what else is
going on. UH OH here's an idea for terrorists-- just build your
own damn plane. How hard can that be. Hmm that checks out
a little too well. Gotta imagine we treat Plane Making Materials
like Nuclear Bomb making materials. WE MUST KEEP THE PLANE MAKING
MATERIALS OUT OF THE HANDS OF THOSE WHO WOULD USE IT FOR HARM.
Dunno how that would work but I guess that's what we have to do now!
DAMNIT. Well if there's no innocents on plane we can shoot it out
of the sky no problem. Yeah if we can HIT IT. Haven't you
ever played Space Invaders? THIS IS TOUGH STUFF!
Last paragraph of the act! I don't believe it.
Wonderful. Maybe we can fly planes into their planes kamikaze style.
The only way to stop a bad guy with a plane is a good guy with a plane.
What else is going on. Or build force fields! How hard is that.
Just surround everything with a force field. Easy! What else is
going on. I got some stuff in store for today. Play some
ROCKSMITH. Maybe some CALL OF DUTY II haven't done that in a while.
Call of Duty II. Sounds like a repetition. DOODY and NUMBER TWO.
You heard it here first. Also I wonder why I haven't heard that before
as a euphemism. Someone has to take a shit so they have to take their
Call Of Duty. Maybe Call Of Duty isn't really a phrase Outside Of
Video Game Titles. Better LTURQ. YEP. Not really a
common phrase outside of video game. Oh well that's life.
I'll be back in a little bit.
I Have Nothing Better To Do
Hello friends. Time to write act ii! Then shower then act III
then walk then Same Stuff As Yesterday. The stuff before The Same
Stuff As Yesterday was ALSO the same stuff as yesterday. Yeah but
I decided to stop saying them explicitly. Because I lost interest!
Wonderful. HEY will I take a bath instead of a shower? I'll
never tell! Sure I will. I'll tell you first thing in act
III. Gotta keep you updated on the important issues of the day.
Watched Paranormal Activity I last night! POSSIBLY for the first time
and POSSIBLY for the second time. Either way that sure was one way
to spend 80 minutes. Could have been worse! Presumably.
LOOK can I think of anything worthwhile to say? NO. But gotta
imagine something'll come to me soon. VERY soon. I'm due is the
Hmm. What's going on in the wide world of sports.
I might need to get a new phone or something. My current one is
becoming obsolete. I don't have the details. YES I DO.
I just haven't bothered reading them. The details are in an e-mail
my Dad got from Sprint and forwarded it to me. The details are there!
Gotta imagine I'll never read that but ask my Dad to summarize.
I got THINGS to do. Also the devil is in the details! I don't
wanna engage the Devil! He's bad news has been my understanding.
Then again if I engage the Devil then GOD might come to help me. I
wanna get in touch with God. Seems like a good guy based on my limited
understanding! The point is better to just not get involved with
supernatural entities in the first place. I learned that lesson THE
HARD WAY by watching Paranormal Activity! It was THE HARD WAY because
I wasted 80 minutes on a not so great movie!
I could have used that 80 minute doing SOMETHING BETTER.
PRESUMABLY. Maybe some sort of Mario Kart playing. I don't have
the ability to play it right now but I could have used that time to PURCHASE
the ability to play it IN THE FUTURE. Anyway I just had FOUR mini
animal crackers at once and it was just like eating a cookie! Small
cookie! But GOOD one. Also the texture of having separate
cookies at once is much better than having a single continuous cookie!
Delicious! Also do they still make cookie crisp and should I try it
because I like small cookies? The answers are Yes YES and YES!
Wait, no. I don't know! I don't know, I don't know, and
PROBABLY. Lemme LTURQ. They still make it but super
market I order from doesn't sell it! They sell other dumb sweet
cookies. So that's something to consider!
Dumb sweet CEREAL. Talk about a Freudian Slip! It's an
interesting conversation topic! Anyway what else is going on.
Bathing Experience To Remember is coming up pretty soon. Gonna be a
blast and a half either way, that's how I feel. What's today.
Saturday. ABOUT TIME. Something along those lines. I
definitely watched a Scary Movie Spoof of Paranormal Investigations.
Paranormal Experiences. Paranormal Encounters. PARANORMAL
ACTIVITY THERE WE GO. Anyway it involved Marlon Wayans.
Probably playing a character other than himself. That's about as far
as I remember. The point is I almost never ate breakfast as a kid and
I feel like my parents should have bought me all the unhealthy cereals as a
way to get me to eat breakfast? Bad parenting! Hopefully they
lose custody of me sometime soon because of this. I might could just
benefit from new parents at this point in my life!
Last paragraph before Cleansing Myself Of Dirt, Etc.
Activity soon. My mom was asking me to give her spoilers about certain
things that may or may not happen later on in The Wire and I was ambiguous
about the answers as I could be because I'm a GOOD SON. I don't wanna
give away ANYTHING other than the SPECIFIC EXACT INFO SHE WANTED. The
point is I deserve some sort of Nobel Award because of this. She never
gave me Cinnamon Toast Crunch except for maybe half a dozen times and I
STILL give her ambiguous spoiler alerts? Great Son Number One.
I didn't give her spoiler alerts. I gave her spoilers. But she
asked for them. So not even that. The point is I've given us
a lot to think about. Sure. I guess. What else.
That's IT. Great! I'll be back soon.
What The Hell Are You Doing Here
Hi friends. Here to finish the entry! What's going on in the
wide world of sports. I feel like my Mom hasn't thanked me explicitly
enough about being as ambiguous as possible when she was asking me for
spoilers. I feel like it's not being as appreciated as it probably
should be! The good news is who cares that's not a real problem.
I got LIFE going on. I can't let the little things upset me!
Sure I can! It's better to let the little things upset you!
Then you're too busy to be upset by the big things! And it's the big
things that are really upsetting! So just preoccupy yourself with the
negative little things and you'll be a happy camper! HMM I never
went to sleepaway camp. THIS UPSETS ME TO NO END. Well
here's the end. So to SOME END I guess.
Cool! Used to always go to sleep in the den
while watching TV. It's like having your own personal sleep over by
yourself! Well that WOULD BE TRUE but my Brother was always with
me. So it's like having a sleep over with my brother. NOT
SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT. HE'S KIND OF A JERK WHEN WE WERE KIDS.
Oh well that's life. I'd have a sleep over these days, sure.
With a girl is probably my first choice! But with friends or family or
strangers, I'd settle for those! But sleeping over with a girl?
AMAZING. WE CAN SWAP GHOST STORIES. That's the first thing that
comes to mind of what we can do. Anyway. What else is going on.
I don't know any ghost stories. Except for ones I've read and/or seen
in fillums. Great I can tell her the story of The Exorcist.
I know enough details about that such that I can make the story last an
entire minute. Uh oh the devil is in the details. Well
the devil is part of the MAIN part of the story not the details in this
case! So not quite!
Cool. Relatively closing on time to eat lunch.
It's in THREE HOURS. That could be a lot. Or it could be a
little! It's all based on extenuating circumstances and whatnot.
What else is going on. Girls, friends, family, and strangers.
Any other genre of person I can have a sleep over with. People I
KNOW that aren't girls friends or family. That's true!
That's solidly another kind of sleepover I could have. ANIMALS OR
MINERALS. OR VEGETATION. Well sure that all checks out, too.
Except the animals are non-humans if we're being specific. WAIT AS
SECOND. JUST MYSELF. I can have a sleepover with myself as
long as it's Somewhere Else! We touched on this briefly a paragraph or
two ago. What else is going on. Haven't watched a
#TalesFromTheCryptTheSummerToRememberSavingsEvent in a while. I can
think of JUST THE ONE to watch next. HOWEVER there's 2 main Youtube
Videos of it and ONE OF THEM has no audio for several minutes in the middle.
WHAT IF I CHOOSE THAT ONE BY WRONGLY. Then I'd have to SKIP those
minutes. And they're valuable entertainment minutes! Oh no
Penultimate paragraph! I don't believe it.
Two World Trade Centers. Two. My Dad ordered Tuna Fish Platter a
few days ago and they accidentally gave us two of it because they heard
TU and processed it as Two Tunafish. ONLY IN AMERICA!!!
It's all coming together! Also TWO ENTY YEARS. WOW THIS IS
CRAZY. Anyway what else is going on. I feel like I got
stuffed filet of sole a couple of weeks ago and they gave me tunafish as a
replacement for either the crab or the sole. I tasted tuna fish!
And I DON'T LIKE IT. Tunafish is gross. Sure I ate it in
sandwich form sometimes as a kid but it was gross then and it's gross now!
Great. What else is going on. Don't even get me started on TUNA
SALAD. Which I believe is tunafish plus mayonnaise. I WILL NEVER
EAT THAT. Mayonnaise is the worst!
Last paragraph. About time! I guess!
I think they set it up that The Mets are playing The Yankees during 9/11
Weekend because New York CAN'T lose. If they were playing other teams
and they lost people would be depressed. Angry, even! There
would be riots! But now at least one team will win. So now
there'll be ANTI-riots. People would gather just to further enforce
law and order! That's how satisfied people would be with this outcome
of a New York Team Winning A Baseball Game. Anyway what else is going
on. Gonna take my next walk in 15-20 minutes I guess. That's
great, just great. Come back and watch some TV. Like I said,
solid chance I watch some
#TheTalesFromTheCryptTheSummerToRememberSavingsEvent. I wasn't just
wildly idly speculating about watching it! When I say something I mean
it! Half the time! Probably more like a third of the time!
The point is I sometimes mean the things I say. I'll be back
September 10, 2021
I Don't Remember This Title
Hello friends. Got coffee going right now to start the entry!
Because I felt like it. And it's delicious! And I haven no soda
or snapple so I needed something to drink. How about water.
Yeah I got that going too but I NEED MORE. Also I'm waiting for
super market delivery, but I should be done with Act I by then! So
the good news is what's going on in the wide world of sports. My mom
is halfway through season II of The Wire! At this point odds are she
finishes it. She's demonstrated she's serious about watching it at
this point. Also she's seein it before. I didn't say that!
That's important to the calculation odds estimates. VERY important.
Anyway. Got steak and/or seafood for lunch today! Then it's a
fresh start for dinner. I LOVE fresh starts. So much better than
rotten starts. Then again I'd take a rotten start tonight.
Just to mix things up.
What else. Up to the last and final Final
Destination! I believe this is the one where someone narrowly avoids
death in the beginning, also preventing the deaths of other people, and then
they die over the course of the movie, usually getting smooshed by
something. I'm not exaggerating when I say over 50% of the deaths in
this movie are people rapidly getting smooshed by something in the sense
that their body gets crushed completely and immediately. SURE that
would be a fine death but they literally do the same one over and over!
I DON'T GET IT. Also most of the non-smooshed deaths are people
getting impaled through the eye. That happens 3-5 times! And
it's not like yep this is how Death gets people when they escape
initially. The premise is THIS IS A NEW CRAZY DEATH!
But it's NOT. IT'S NOT NEW AND CRAZY AT ALL.
Cool. Anyway. After Final Destination
III the next film in the franchise was called THE FINAL DESTINATION.
No number. Because this one was the end all be all Final Destination!
Concluding chapter of the franchise! Then a few years later there
was a Final Destination V. I hope someone got fired over that
mishap! Because I get off on people losing their jobs. It makes
me happy inside. The point is there might be a long break between Act
I and next walk because I have to stay in house to wait for delivery.
That's life I guess! Is it? I'm gonna have to look into that
one. Might not be life at all. Cool. My Dad is taking
my Mom to get Covid test today! She has SURGERY next week and needs
proof of no covid! So I'll be accepting super market delivery
and putting stuff away all by my lonesome. PERFECT. I EXCEL
AT WORKING ALONE. I guess. Speaking of Lonesome, Gavin
Newsom recall vote is coming up! I hope he's NOT recalled.
Because I CARE ABOUT CALIFORNIA. As far as I'm concerned it's easily
in my top 25% of states. I dunno about EASILY. It's most
likely in my top 25% of states!
Anyway. My favorite part of California is the
FORESTS. Some nice Redwood Trees. I can get on board with that!
Also California was part of the Wild Wild West! In the sense that they
made the movies about the wild wild west a century after the fact.
Fascinating. If I were my Mom I'd watch Them Sopranos after That
Wire. I'm not my Mom, though! That'd be pretty weird!
Anyway what else is going on. Gonna check my weight tomorrow!
Again, I'd settle for losing 1.5 pounds over a week and a half. But
I'd really like 2 pounds! And 1 pound would be a disappointment.
That's life I guess! Anyway I'm getin' there! I don't know where
exactly but If There's A Place To Get To, then surely I Am Getting There.
Slowly! Slow and steady wins the race! I dunno about that.
That sounds wrong. Very wrong. Gonna have to look into that one.
If slow and steady wins the race then BOWSER or DONKEY KONG would win every
Super Mario Kart race. And we all know LUIGI or maybe YOSHI always
wins! Well that settles that I guess.
What else is going on. I feel like some short cuts
in Mario Kart were TRICKS. You think it's a hidden alternate way to
get through the track so it MUST be a short cut but they're playing TRICKS
on you and it's actually slightly longer. This is the stuff that
keeps me up at night. That thought DID occur to me, what, a few
days ago. I haven't played Mario Kart in 14 years. Oh well
better late then never. I'd play some Mario Kart. Also
for dumb people Mario Kart is a racing game on The Nintendos where you play
as characters in Mario. Maybe other assorted characters from Nintendo
Franchise. But mostly Mario! Anyway what else is going on.
Oh. The characters are driving Go Karts. More or less.
They're not just running. Hmm. I can't think of any Track And
Field video games at all. Seems like a pretty big oversight!
Sixth paragraph. I don't believe it! I
finished coffee. Oh well! I considered having 3 cups today
instead of 2 but I think I'm gonna stick with two. That's life I
guess! Well its PART of life. A very small part.
That rings true. The Mets are playing The Yankees today! FINALLY
we'll settle once and for all Whose Gonna Win The Game Tonight Between The
Yankees And Mets. That sort of thing! Anyway my Mom made coffee
early this morning so did that have an impact on when/how many Coffee I Will
Drink? Possibly! The point is I'll probably have to re-make MORE
coffee for cup #2. Re-make more? THAT'S AN INCORRECTITUDE.
MORE hasn't been made at all in the first place. Let's talk about
it. We just did. Oh right okay. HEY there's a new
horror movie out today. I don't know the details but apparently it's
not that great. Not That Great? YOU'VE GOT MY ATTENTION!
I'll watch that sure. I got nothing better to do! Well, sure I
do. But I also have LOTS of worse things to do. So there's
I guess. Wonder what kind of
dumb stuff I'm gonna come up with for the next four paragraphs to finish
this act. Maybe some stuff about the stuff I've already talked about.
Always more to be mined there! Also speaking of mines how about that
DUNE film coming. Doesn't seem good to me! I had a video game
that was roughly similar in plot to Dune and I didn't enjoy that video game
a all! It wasn't about Dune but is REMINDED me of the little I
know/knew about Dune so basically that ruined Dune for me. You
heard it here first. Also TOO SANDY. I'm not sure I
like the desert as a setting at all. I for one don't wanna be
there. Why are THESE characters there? Don't they know
there's better environments to be in? What are they dumb or something?
Doesn't add up! That sort of thing. Dune takes place in Deserts,
right? Other planet deserts. The Wild Wild West was often in the
Eighth paragraph! I guess! What else.
It's odd that I like watching horror movies so much but I enjoy maybe 10-20%
of the horror movies I watch. A good amount of them I KIND OF get
something out of even though they're bad. But there's maybe 10-20%
that I'm like well that was a good movie. But I guess I like
them because they're FAMILIAR. Ya know what you're getting! Also
gotta do something! Horror movies are as good as any other hobby.
Except for how they're routinely bad and I get nothing out of.
Yeah but BESIDES not liking what I do individually but enjoying it
collectively. BESIDES that it makes A TON of sense to continue
watching horror movies all the time! Yep that checks out.
You know Luigi and Yoshii are good at Mario Kart because they're GREEN.
GREEN MEANS GO. Green is the best color to be in a race!
Not sure about that. But the good news is We're
Gettin' There in terms of progressing through the entry! At this point
it looks like coffee routine from this point onward will be normal! I
just had first cup with paragraphs 1-5 instead of 6-10! But that's all
over now. Well more or less. Still 1.5 paragraphs to go
without coffee as a mix-em-up. OH NO guess what I DON'T CARE!!!
SURE. Hey after super market delivery comes I can drink
some soda! That's the first immediate impact it has on my diet for the
upcoming week. Wonderful. Got some mini black-and-whites as a
breakfast cookie for upcoming week. I'm happy with that! That's
why I set it up that way in the first place! Because I CALCULATED and
DETERMINED I'd be happy with that once it came true! Whattado between
Act I and Super Market delivery. Maybe get started on That
There Horror Movie. Sounds like one way to live my life if I'm not
trying too hard to make my life worthwhile and/or good.
Last paragraph! Of the act! Yeah! I'd
still be on board with Nintendo in an alternate universe where they didn't
Lean Into personal mini consoles that you can walk around with. You
give me a nice Regular For-TV Game Console that's a Nintendo? I would
have strongly considered going in that direction for when I get new system!
Now it's too late! I'm not getting ANY new system! Unless
Nintendo comes out with a regular for TV console something in the
intermediate future! Then I'm gonna see what that's all about!
YEAH. Hmm. Wonder if I still have a Gameboy somewhere.
And if it would still work. If I do I believe it's a gameboy COLOR.
Which is several years more advanced than original gameboy. Because
you can see COLOR in it not just black and white. WOW NOW WE'RE
TALKIN. Also it's totally backwards compatible. Same games.
Just more color! Amazing. Really makes ya think life is
worth living with that kind of stuff. Hey the act is over. Be
I Don't Believe It
Hello friends. Super market delivery came no more than 10
minutes after I finished act I! And I'm already enjoying the fruits of
my labor by drinking Sprite Zero. Labor? What labor. I
Accepted the delivery products. That was the labor. YEP and
now I'm enjoying the fruits! Anyway took a walk after that and now I'm
here! Wonderful. Way ahead of schedule today! I might just
kick back and relax for 5 minutes. I probably won't, though! I
dunno what I'd be doing with myself. Kicking back and relaxing is more
complicated than it sounds! Anyway my parents are back.
Presumably my Mom had her covid test. That's her business, not mine!
Kind of my business. I live with her and covid is TRANSPORTABLE
between people per my understanding. So our tests are each otherses
I guess. Gonna start the horror movie Oh I Don't
Know after shower before act III! Gotta make bonus coffee for then,
too. My mom didn't make enough for me to have 2 cups! Whatta
jip! Sure. I took bath two times in a row. Today I
think I go for a shower. I THINK. Solid 75% chance as of now I
go with a shower. This percentage of chance may change over time!
For example right now, 20 seconds later, it's more like 72%. NOW it's
back up to 75%. I could keep you updated on this situation as
it progresses but I feel that after a while, a long while, sure, but after a
while it would start to get boring. So there's that! Wonderful.
Mets are BACK AGAINST THE WALL in playoff chances. In danger of
falling back out of contention as soon as TODAY. Oh no I liked it
better when they were in contention. If they make the playoffs
they might play several more baseball games this year. That's
SEVERAL HOURS OVERALL that I would be entertained by. Without that
I don't KNOW what I'll be doing with that time. Oh no. Might
have to figure out how to kick back and relax.
What else! I feel like I watch baseball poorly.
Just not good at it! I don't know how to elaborate on that but suffice
to say I'm bad at enjoying and appreciating a baseball game. Just like
horror movies. I'll WATCH 'em. I'll feel STRONGLY about them.
But do I really like it? I dunno! A little!
Somewhat, I guess! What else is going on. Hmm possibly
Nothing. Very possible that Nothing else is going on. In
which case I don't know what that means for the entry! I was
always counting on there being Something Else! Without something else
HOW THE HELL am I gonna write the rest of this? Hmm.
What's the chance I take a shower vs bath right now. Shower at 81%.
Fascinating. Getting close to the end of the year. SOLIDLY in
the last third. I feel like dividing the year into thirds is an
underrated way to do it. It's easy and it makes sense! January
through April. May through August. September through December!
I feel like I've ALWAYS kinda done this without realizing it. WOW
THIS IS GREAT.
KIND OF what we do for school year. Two semesters a
year and summer. It's not 100% balanced in this context but That's
That. GREAT I thought I was a genius with dividing years into
thirds. Turns out School is way ahead of me. Still
though, solid point. Anyway. Chance of shower is down to
70%. I still feel it's prevalent in my mind but I'm starting to have
small doubts in which I consider maybe bath would be better than shower.
Ugh. Anyway what else is going on. I successfully woke up
really early so I could take walk really early even compared to the earliest
time super market delivery was supposed to come. Happy I did
it! I almost Snoozed through that and didn't take any walk before
delivery. And it turns out delivery came early anyway but if it didn't
I'd be WAY behind schedule. The point is I FORGET. I was
trying to make a POINT. Something like Don't Snooze. It
SUCKS but in the end your life will benefit or something.
Then again snoozing is the greatest! You can't go
wrong I guess. Nope. You can't go RIGHT. Snooze or
not snooze you're not happy about it one way or another. That's MY hot
take. I turned out to be happy about this. Yeah
EVENTUALLY. At THE MOMENT though it's not something to be happy
with. WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT. Oh. Right.
Shower up to 75% again. That's what the last thing I was talking about
was I think! Shower up to 85%. 88%. 87%. 88%.
Well great we seem to be zeroing in on something. The point is
we're also Very Close to shower such that these estimations are more
relevant than the ones 2 paragraphs ago. That's why it's getting more
sure compared to less sure. So there's that. Anyway hey
I'm gonna take that shower now. I'll be back soon!
Finally I'll See You Later
Hello friends. Had a half a handful of mini animal crackers!
Delicious! Took a shower. Wonderful! Good chance I'll get
BREAKFASTCENTRIC MEAL FOR TONIGHT!!!! And also I'm enthusiastic
about having bison burger tomorrow. I'm gonna be a BIG proponent
of making tonight's delivery Diner Delivery so I can accomplish both those
meals. I think I've got a good shot! Anyway. Gonna have a
sizable break between Act III and Walk III. Watch some of that HORROR
movie everyone's talking about. I haven't said the name once when
talking about it. No free rides! They want to get the name
in the entry It's Gonna Cost Ya! Wonderful. Also at what
point will they make a 2005 Horror Movie called No Free Rides.
Which presumably would be about a teen hitchhiker (innocent good guy) and
the guy who picks him up (semi-redneck truck driver) wants to kill him (to
harvest his organs). Let's get crackin' on that 16 years ago!
YOU LOST ME AT HARVEST HIS ORGANS. Up until then
I was on board with myself! Anyway what else is going on. Got
coffee. Got Sprite Zero! HEY I feel like if I get Coke Zero at
this point it's GOTTA be new coke zero. Let's see if Super
Market sells 2 liter bottles of coke zero. THEY SURE DO.
Next week I can get that! I don't like the taste of Coke. Any
iteration of coke. Yeah but this is SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT.
Don't knock it till you've tried it! Then feel free to knock it.
That all depends on whether you enjoyed it or not when trying it. Or
maybe you wanna knock it even if you enjoyed it. You're some kind of
jerk in this scenario it turns out! Oh well that's your business not
mine. Anyway. What else. Getting close to being done with
the entry! I envy my future self. Being able to kick back and relax.
That's presumably enjoyable once I figure out how to do it.
Probably should have figured it out at this point in my life. Oh
well live and learn. I feel I USED to know how to kick back an relax.
At some point I lost it though!
Wonderful. French toast would be delicious but
I'm leaning towards Freedom Chip Pancakes. Can't go wrong with
chocolate! I don't see CHOCOLATE anywhere in the title of this
dish. Where is this CHOCOLATE coming from. All I SHOULD be able
to taste is The Freedom. Well, more accurately, the Freedom Chips.
Which sounds delicious, too! Wonderful. I enjoyed the
jalepeno peppers on the bison burger last time! I think I'll get that
again. In fact maybe just skip the burger and eat some jalapeno
peppers. Wait no that's too far. Keep the burger.
Okay that sounds good too! Freedom Peppers. Well lets not
over do it. If you describe everything as Freedom then it eventually
loses all meaning! What else is going on. Put Steak & Seafood
Part I in oven. Put Part II in microwave. Part III? Gonna
go with microwave again! Potatoe was better in oven but steak and
seafood were better in microwave. So that's where my life is at!
Penultimate paragraph EVER of the day. Wow
amazing. What other soda did I put in fridge for myself.
Probably diet pepsi. So next time I pour myself soda I may go with the
diet pepsi! Delicious. Who came up with calling Zero Calorie
Versions Of Things diet. You can't have a diet of diet things.
You'd get zero nutrition! You'd die IMMEDIATELY. Well not
immediately. But you'd die EVENTUALLY. You'd die RELATIVELY
QUICKLY ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. So the point is I think I made
the point pretty well. You get it! Diet of diet things will kill
you. Anyway. The point is I forget. I think some Diet
Food And Drink may have a minimal amount of calories. Like 2-5
calories per serving size. So I guess if you just ate that stuff all
day and all of the night you MIGHT be able to live for a bit longer.
So that's one thing to consider. Huh.
Last paragraph! Wonderful. Gotta
imagine there's some racing game for The Xbox where it's Go Karts but not of
Mario characters. Think I saw something in regards to SONIC Racing
Game. Better LTURQ. YEP THAT EXISTS. Why would I want
to play that though. I can't be LUIGI. If you can't be Luigi
what's even the point? Anyway what else is going on. Gotta
imagine Sonic wins every race. He's KNOWN for his speed. It's
his main thing! Then again slow and steady wins the race. So the
Slow Guy from Sega wins all the time. Hmm. Crash
Bandicoot? Only other sega character I can think of off the top of my
head. This game might be JUST SONIC characters. So it's
sonic, and... that guy he faces at the end of the level! That's 15
people right there! Anyway. I'll see ya tomorrow.
September 9, 2021
Let's Get This Out Of The Way
Hey! OH NO I am a little bit behind schedule today. We're talkin
WOKE UP ON THE LATER SIDE OF THINGS. All in all though I feel I
could MANEUVER around things such that my day is more or less the same.
I will not CONSCIOUSLY maneuver. I just am banking on doing things
slightly quicker naturally. Why not! If I were me, that's
what I would do! Anyway here we go with a new day. What
did I do yesterday that was great. I'm 80% into Final Destination
THREE! I believe there are 5 or 6 overall. Also the final
destination is Watching The Movie. We all take different courses in
life but ultimately we end up watching Final Destination.
That's how I feel. Mets played a nice game yesterday. They
didn't win but the course they took towards not winning was entertaining
enough to watch. HEY it's baseball. How entertaining!
That's how I feel. Sometimes. NOT OFTEN.
Cool. Got enough soda I feel for today.
Tomorrow I re-up. For today I have 1.5 2 liter bottles left over!
IDEALLY I'd be drinking 2 - 2.5 2 liter bottles a day but this I CAN WORK
WITH. Anyway I had some sort of nightmare going into the morning
waking up. You'd think that would have encouraged me to wake up on
time if anything and not sleep later. Why would I want the nightmare
to continue? FUN. It's like watching a horror movie in your
head! Except the stakes are higher! Cause it's happening to you!
Do some people dream stuff happening to other people? I dunno
about you but I'm always the main character in my dream and it's always in
the first person. Sure First Person can REPRESENT other people and
whatnot. But as far as I'm concerned In Dream it's always stuff
happening to me/I'm doing. ALSO IN LIFE.
Whatever. Got a nice Part II of Steak &
Seafood for today as well as Super Market Herbed Chicken Dish.
It's GREAT because they're both You Standard Dinner. Main Dish come
with potato and vegetable. That's NOT great. Too
repetitive! Either way this is the life we chose. Anyway.
Is there any sport where you peak in your 40's and 50's. GOLF
POSSIBLY. I just feel like sports players get to have fun in 20's
and 30's and then they hit Post-Sportum Depression what would imagine.
Now they can GOLF. Golf isn't a sport. It's an activity.
Also golf is barely even an activity. It's just Nonsense Actions.
I feel like old people can play old sports. Why can't we just have
Sports Leagues of The Main Sports but only for people in their 50's.
THEY MIGHT FALL DOWN AND BREAK THEMSELVES. They don't care it's
worth the risk! That's how they feel.
Anyway what else is going on. Maybe that's why
people like golf! They get off on people being old and doing stuff.
It's as good a reason as I can come up with. IS there a version of
golf where it's golf but instead of hitting the ball you fence with each
other using your golf clubs? My guess? Yes. Anyway
fourth paragraph. Gonna pour my coffee AFTER the fifth paragraph.
Just so we're both on the same page! What kind of time is the Mets
game today. I'm gonna guess EVENING. Let's go to the video tape!
EVENING 6:40. Same time as last 2 or 3 games! That's been
working out well for me. I've had some nice days the last few days
per my limited understanding. Anyway. Mets huh. They play
baseball! With some other teams. Sometimes only with themselves!
I'd imagine. Do baseball teams had Practice Days during regular
season. I'm sure they practice before games. If I were them I'd
practice after games, too! But do they have days off where they show
up anyway and practice? My guess? Sure that seems reasonable.
Dunno why that's worthwhile at all to say and/or
read. Dunno a lot of things these days! How about these PITCHES
pitchers throw. Enough with all the pitches! WE GET IT!
Anyway. What am I gonna do first when entry is over in a few
hours. I dunno! Maybe watch some TELEVISION SET. Change
some channels while I'm at it! No reason I have to watch the channel
that it's on that I was watching last. I've got a remote! TWO OF
EM even. I think when they first invented remote for TV it spoiled
people. Suddenly they wanted remotes for anything! There was an
immediate REMOTE industry. Remote for this! Remote for that!
It's TOO Excessive! Also you don't have to say TOO Excessive!
The word Excessive GET'S THE JOB DONE ITSELF. So there's that.
Anyway what kind of remotes I got form non TV stuff. I feel like I had
a Stereo Boom Box in the late 1990's with a remote. Rings some sort of
bell. Also my doorbell-- can be accessed by a remote! Yeah
the good news is coffee time.
Sure. What else is going on. My mom
turned on THE WIRE. I heard the SOUNDTRACK from my room. I guess
because Michael K Williams died. So there's that. I don't mind
listening to this in the background. Wow get a lot of these VOICES.
This show works just as well as a Radio Play! I like the sound
effects. You want me to know a car is driving? Make the noise of
a car being droven! I totally get the idea just by Sound!
Amazing. My favorite character in The Wire is That Guy. Whom
does things. You know which one I'm thinking of! Look they're
all good. A better discussion is who is my LEAST favorite
character in The Wire. Hmm. That's not a great discussion,
either! Gotta think of something that's a Good Discussion.
DAMNIT thinking of something? I don't remember signing up for this!
Seventh paragraph! I guess. It might be
raining intermittently today! Hopefully LIGHT rain. That's my
hot take. Anyway hey what else is going on. New HORROR movie
coming on HBOMax at the end of the week. Horror movie? I LIKE
THOSE for some reason. Seems as good as anything a thing to be a
nerd about. I dunno about being a nerd about it. Nerds have to
be knowledgeable about it! I know SOME stuff but not that much.
I dunno about being a Horror Geek, either! I'm not passionate enough
to be a geek. Horror Fan. How about that. I dunno
that sounds fair. Also no negative connotation. Nerd and Geek
are negative things. Being a fan? That's THE BEST THING YOU CAN
BE IN THE WORLD. So great then it's settled. People who golf
sometimes fence with each other using their golf clubs. Now we
finally got that out of the way.
Eighth paragraph. Is there a version of golf
where you have to throw the ball instead of hit it with a club. Gotta
imagine that's another skill set people could develop. Both long
throwing and then the putting game throwing. That sort of thing.
It's good because it's just as fun but you can save money on golf clubs.
Also are ALL clubs legal. I know there's special clubs and whatnot.
But can you design anything that maybe isn't motorized and use it as a club?
My guess? I DON'T KNOW. I could see that being more or
less the case or not! Solidly can picture it either way! Anyway.
Wonder if I still have any Boom Box Stereo anywhere that still works.
Sounds like fun. It's like listening to music on a computer but no one
is hacking into your music listenings! Maybe someone is. They'd
have to be REALLY good at hacking to hack into something not connected to
the internet. But I wouldn't put anything past this guy! What
guy. The best hacker in the world guy. Oh him.
Ninth paragraph. Maybe it's Lester Freeman.
He somehow got a Wire up on my Stereo Boom Box. Which is impressive
for both Time and Space. It's both not connected to internet AND it's
from over 20 years ago. NOT TO MENTION he's a fictional character.
All in all Lester Freamon hacking into my Stereo is VERY impressive on all
fronts. What else is going on. I feel like the one I'm imagining
played CDs. But I surely had ones before then that played Audio
Cassettes. Surely! What else is going on. I dunno.
I forget! Or I never knew. But there is other stuff going on, I
just don't know what it is! One of two lightbulbs in my bathroom went
out. Gotta replace it today! With help of Dad! And/or him
doing it with help of Me. Whatever one he wants to do I'm on board
with! I feel like I know what to do to do it myself. But if he
wants to help I'm not gonna turn that down!
Sure! Next walk is coming up soon. I don't
believe it! I think it might be raining but if it is its lightly.
I can, "Live," with that! Huh. The median age of a golfer
is 54. But I think that includes recreational players. I could
easily figure it out but I don't feel like clicking on that link! End
up on a list somewhere. A list of people who want to know the median
age of golfers. Look THEY TOLD ME the median age. I just put
in AVERAGE age. GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT THIS, "MEDIAN," CRAP OKAY.
Wonderful. Professional golfers begin to decline in quality of play in
late 30's. Like other sports. But the difference is They Keep At
It! Oh well that's life. I guess. I wrote this act
pretty fast. Not so much behind schedule at all anymore! I feel
like I've been writing faster in general lately. Gettin' the hang of
it! Also gettin' the hang of not saying anything worthwhile which makes the
whole ordeal go a lot quicker too! I'll be back soon! Sorry!
That's All For Today
Hey friends! Here to write act II. I don't believe it!
What's the over/under on when my Mom abandons watching The Wire.
Either in terms of episodes watched or days watching it. My guess
would be Today if we're doing it by days. Episodes is a little bit
more complicated. Either way what else is going on. YES it's sad
that Michael K Williams died. By not elaborating on my disappointment
re: him dying I may have wrongly given the impression I don't care! I
do care. I enjoyed his Actings and he seemed like a good person based
on Not Knowing Him At All. Also it's sad when anyone dies.
Unless they're evil. And I have seen VERY LITTLE evidence that Michael
K Williams was evil. Hardly ANY. Anyway what else is going
on. Gonna take a shower when this act is over. Then act III!
Then walk. Then what else. HMM.
Anyway. I took a bath yesterday! Wait a
second no I didn't! That was two days ago! Because I told you
about it! Wait a second no it wasn't! It was yesterday!
And then I told you about it in act III after the bath yesterday!
Anyway it was fun but I don't wanna spoil myself by taking baths all the
time. Gotta take a shower. Baths are for the BOURIGEAISEE.
Showers are WORKING CLASS. And I don't really fall into any class
because I don't work AND I'm not a BOUGIESEE but I'd rather be in the
working class. They've got SPUNK. Anyway what else is going on.
Don't wanna be in poverty, though. They've got it rough! If I
learnt anything from The Wire it's that poor people are drug addict and/or
they've got it rough. Also it's possible I haven't learned anything
from The Wire. Which is ironic because as far as Dramatic TV Shows Go
I feel like The Wire is in the 99th percentile of shows that Want To Teach
What else is going on. CRAPS is a game that can
easily be exploited by knowing odds. I picked that up somewhere in
season IV. I still don't know how the game works but I know enough
that just by knowing odds you can beat the game. Either on a one-time
basis And/Or consistently by playing it all the time so that the odds even
out and you STILL come out on top. Either way that's something to
consider. I dunno Craps seems like a zero sum game if you're playing
it on the street. There's no House, is there? It's not like
this is MY ALLEY all the rake in Craps Game Tonight Goes To Me. I
think it just gets spread around amongst the players. So if you know
odds and others don't you're SURE to win in the long run. Then again
if you're playing craps hopefully you'd know the odds well enough as anyone
else playing such that it's pretty even. I've given myself a lot to
What else is going on. Wearin' some nice No
Pants. I'm taking a shower soon, why bother. Took them pants off
when I got home. The shower is in less than an hour from getting home,
c'mon! Why bother with pants is my official position for this
paragraph at least. Also, possible at most! VERY likely it will
cease being my official position (or even unofficial position!) after the
next few sentences. Because also WEARING pants has a lot going for it.
There's no question! You can't go wrong re: wearing pants or not.
I don't know what that means. Wonderful. The Mets are
playing the Yankees this weekend! That's interesting. I like one
of those teams as my favorite team and I dislike the other one of those
teams as probably my least favorite team! I hope the series works
out in my favorite team's favor. You heard it here first.
Cool! Last paragraph of the act. I
don't believe it! I don't want to risk exciting you too much but What
The Hell THE METS HAVE HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE DURING THIS UPCOMING
SERIES AGAINST THE YANKEES. THEY WILL BE PLAYING IN THEIR STADIUM.
Wonderful. What else is going on. Maybe I DO take a bath again
today. I enjoyed it. There's no real reason not to. The
idea that I should take a shower because it's more working class is
nonsense. That kind of nonsense is fine for website entry but to
actually live my life based on it is more or less relatively dumb.
Anyway I got coffee #2 saved for act #3. So I got that to look forward
to. Anyway. Shower or bath, the room won't be as light as usual!
One bulb is gone! I'm operating in half darkness! Then again
I got a window going on. That adds light to the room. So I
got that going for me. Wonderful. Is this enough sentences to
start the bathing process. Yes. It's enough. I'll be back
There's Always More
Hey it's been roughly soon and now I'm back. Took a bath.
I had a great time! Well a reasonably positive experience time at
least. Room was totally light enough! Anyway I was gonna watch
PSYCHO yesterday because I've never actually seen the whole thing but
then I DIDN'T. I watched the shower scene. Not so great!
Could have used more nudity. Maybe not 100% nudity but let's say 80%
there instead of 30%. Then again the 30% There FOR THE TIME was
probably 90% there. The point is Oh Well What Can Ya Do.
Also it was REVOLUTIONARY in terms of using the Psycho Music for things.
Before Psycho they never used that music AT ALL. Maybe they did.
It's not totally out of the realm of possibility that the music was used
before somewhere else Presumably In Film. So I got that going for
me is the point. Also who is the psycho, the guy or his mother.
Huh. What do you mean. OF COURSE I've seen this movie before and
know what happens. Get off my back about it!
Anyway. Probably gonna have Steak &/V seafood
for lunch and chicken for dinner. That's how I feel right now!
You can't argue with a feeling. You'd have no motive! Getting
2 boxes of Mini Animal Cancer Crackers for upcoming week. Me and
my Dad be goin' through them like buzzsaws. Also buzzsaws go through
things quickly. Are buzzsaws those circular saws that cut
perpendicularly. Or is that some other kind of saw. Also buzzsaw
is not a word. I guess it's two words. Because a, "Buzz Saw," is
definitely something I've heard before In Life. And/or Saw.
In film. I may have seen it in the last film I was watching Why
It's Only Final Destination III. GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.
Also I assume by Final Destination they only mean the plane arriving in
Paris Appropriately where all the teenagers live and then go to Paris.
What do you mean you don't think I've ever seen Final Destination I.
Of course I have.
Jeez. Had a mini chips ahoy cancer cookie
just now! Chips Ahoy has no track record of causing Cancer as far
as we know. That's because Hollywood Successfully Stood Up To
Cancer. One of the first things they did with their
political/social/financial capital was remove the cancer from Chips Ahoy
products. Gotta take care of them first things first and whatnot.
Anyway. Maybe check my weight tomorrow morning. More likely the
morning after that. Anyway there should be a film The Day After The
Day After Tomorrow and it's about us curbing Global Warming to the best of
our ability and it's a relatively nice and peaceful film. That
sounds like CRAZY Science Fiction. ONLY IN THE PICTURES can ya imagine
us taking care of global warming to the best of our ability! It
doesn't ring true at all! Too big a plot hole and whatnot!
Penultimate paragraph. Gonna solidly have a bit
of time between finishing entry and taking next walk. What to do with
that period of time. 15-30 minutes or so. Hmm this is a tough
one. I can eat more cookies. They're small so it's healthy
to eat them. But that doesn't take up much time at all! Maybe 10
seconds at most in terms of getting them, eating them, and putting the rest
of them away. Gotta come up with 15-30 minutes minus 10 seconds at
most MORE stuff to do besides that! Jeez. Watch Final
Destination III: The Last 15-25 minutes! Perfect! That's the
amount of film I have left over and it aligns pretty closely with how much
time I'll have before walk. I DUNNO ABOUT THAT. Too much
pressure! What if I wanna take the walk and the film has 5-10 minutes
left (NOT COUNTING CREDITS). I'd feel PRESSURE to watch the rest of
the film even if I wanna take a walk. I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE BIT.
You heard it here first. Last paragraph of the day!
Wonderful. I probably should get three cancer animal cracker
boxes just to play it safe but that would be crazy. I'm not crazy!
Despite what my website HTML domain seems to suggest. Also what my
brain doctors seem to suggest just by existing and treating me. They
don't even need to explicitly suggest that I'm crazy. The fact that
they exist in my life alone is enough proof! Oh well that's life.
Is it, though. It's MY life. So that's SOME sort of life at
least. That checks out. I AM alive. And thusly I
Have A Life. Roughly. Jeez. I dunno. What kinda
stuff can I say over the next 2-8 sentences. My Mom is still watching
The Wire. So if you had Episode 1 or 2 as the last episode she gets to
you've lost. Sorry! Anyway I'll be back tomorrow.
September 8, 2021
I Don't Know What I'm Doing
Hey! Here we go with some more. I've been looking ALL MORNING to
doing this. In the sense that doing this will bring me closer to Not
Having To Do This. Gotta do it before I'm done doing it! And I
CAN'T WAIT to be Done Doing It! So there's that. Anyway.
Got some Calamari for lunch today. You know how that goes. It's
healthy because I know how much I am eating and its a reasonable amount.
Everything is healthy when you know how much of it to eat.
Sometimes that amount is zero. Tiramisu is healthy because I don't
eat it. Makes sense. What kind of fun songs did I play on
The Rocksmith yesterday. Oasis! Their song required my guitar to
be out of tune so that was a hassle and a half but it's over with now.
NOT REALLY. The consequences remain. Now I'm gonna need to tune
it BACK for next time I want to play a non-Oasis song. What a
scam. I knew Oasis was a scam! I just couldn't put my finger on
why and/or how. Now I know!
Cool. I guess! Watched The Final
Destination Film Experience To Remember and it was okay! Also it is
EERILY SIMILAR to how I remembered the movie went from past times I've
watched it. Practically as if it was THE EXACT SAME THING.
Creepy! I like how the characters become friends over the course of
the movie. AT the beginning they know each other but aren't friends.
But as they start to die they realize they have a lot in common and become
friends. THAT'S what I like to see! FRIENDSHIPS CREATED.
Every time someone becomes friends with someone I get off just a little bit!
Also sure ultimately They All Die but at least their last moments were with
people they loved. You could say that for all of us! I dunno
I feel like a lot of our last moments won't be with people we love.
Oh well that's OUR problem get off... their backs... about it?
Cool! HEY Patriotism Day is coming up.
I know because ESPN is talking about 20 YEARS LATER: THE MIKE PIAZZA
HOMERUN THAT MADE US BELIEVE AGAIN. The entire story is hey a
few weeks after 9/11 they played a baseball game and A MET (FROM THE NEW
YORK CITY) HIT A HOMERUN!!! AMAZING. I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Not impressed. If they really wanted to impress me Mike Piazza
would have hit a homerun that ultimately hit Bin Laden on the head causing
him a concussion and eventually killing him from complications. THAT'D
be memorable. What else is going on. Anyway. If 9/11 was a
horror movie, I think we're due for a sequel where it turns out BIN LADEN
HAD SOMEONE HIGHER UP that was REALLY planning the attack. And
now we gotta worry about killing him! Sounds like a horror movie to
me. We'd have to do something! I don't wanna do things.
Also he's toying with us by giving us riddles and
if we don't answer the riddles there will be another attack. DAMNIT
RIDDLES. Actually WAIT A SECOND this could be fun. What KIND of
riddles. Hey what else is going on. Fourth paragraph!
Gonna get coffee AFTER next paragraph. Yeah! Also we all know
9/11 isn't a horror movie, it's an action movie. I can think of at
least one 9/11 movie and it was an action movie I never saw it but it
just SEEMED like an action movie. You heard it here first.
Felt like a horror movie in real life! But that shows how much we
know. It was actually an action movie. What else is going on.
20 years is a pretty long time. On the one hand I was in middle school
in 2001 and in essence I am more or less STILL in middle school. On
the other hand 20 years is an entire Generation. On the other hand
I am 12 going on 13. So there's that! Maybe it's 9/11's
fault I never grew up. Seems as good a thing as any to blame for that!
Anyway what else is going on. I grew up! In
a solid 60% of ways. The MAJORITY of me is grown compared to
when I was in middle school. I feel very strongly about this!
Anyway what else is going on. Got some nice ice cream to eat tonight.
I eat BARS of ice cream at night right before going to bed. DELICIOUS.
Small bars sure. LOW CALORIE bars of course. But BARS
NONETHELESS. Who came up with the word nonetheless and did he
know he'd ultimately be successful with it catching on? Seems like
something that would have fallen out of favor centuries ago even if it was
popular at some point. Nonetheless IT'S PERSEVERED. Well done
Word. Another EVENING Mets game tonight. I was pretty happy
with it yesterday! Solidly felt positive about it. Wonderful.
Got coffee! Wonderful. What else is
going on in the wide world of sports. Watched some VIDEO of most
recent upcoming Call Of Duty Games! It's AMAZING. It's the exact
same game but each new edition the graphics get slowly progressively better.
WAIT NO I SAW A DIFFERENCE. There was a guy walking around on the
roof of a building and then he shot a hole in the roof and dropped down into
the building. I NEVER SEEN PEOPLE SHOOT HOLES INTO THE FLOOR TO DROP
INTO LOWER LEVEL. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. Anyway.
Now all they need to do is have ladders laying around that you can prop up
and use anywhere you want. AMAZING. Also these graphics
look REAL. I really get the sense I'm shooting at people with a
handheld artillery machine gun. Feels just like it would in real life!
Okay. I'm a solid 20-35 minutes into Final
Destination II. In II you can start SHOOTING HOLES INTO THE FLOOR.
Wonderful. Is there just me or is there plot holes in Final
Destination. Hey I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THERE'S SOME PLOT HOLES it's
ON THE ROOF OF THIS BUILDING in The Call Of Duty Video Game Trailer!
What else. I really wanted to talk about plot holes in final
destination! That wasn't just a set up for that Dumbness.
THESE FILMS DON'T MAKE SENSE COMPLETELY and I'M UPSET ABOUT IT.
What else is going on. My Dad was VERY excited last night that he
found a plot hole or blooper in Titanic. He told me about it
and I haven't seen the movie in 20 years so it seemed reasonable but I don't
really remember. But him being excited made me ANGRY. I come
up with plot holes all the time and I don't go around bragging to people.
That's just the nature of Film. PLOT HOLES APLENTY.
Anyway. NO his plot hole was not THE
TITANIC WAS BUILT SO STURDY AND THEY SAID IT SANK? DOESN'T ADD UP.
CAN'T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. Although if it was that'd be an amusing
anecdote! What else is going on. Eighth paragraph! Some
sort of Titanic/Final Destination Crossover. Seems like there's
something there. I mean, not a REAL something. But if we're
accepting Dumb Somethings which is what this website is all about more or
less exactly, then yes, there's a Real Dumb Something there potentially.
Dumb Somethings. I like the sound of that! What else is
going on. 9/11 and Final Destination Cross Over. Sure
there's Dumb Something there too! I'd think about it some more but
That's INSENSITIVE and I don't play that game. Gotta imagine that
in 1915 people would have been like, "TOO SOON!" if I made a Final
Destination/Titanic Joke then too. People were still upset about
Anyway ninth paragraph. Also making a Final
Destination joke in 1915 would have been MUCH Too Soon because it wouldn't
be released for another 85 years. So people wouldn't understand it!
Gotta hold that joke in my back pocket for EIGHTY FIVE YEARS before putting
it to use. I can't SURVIVE 85 years. That's pushing it in
terms of how long I can expect to live! Also presumably I wasn't a
newborn baby in 1915 because I Had A Joke In My Mind. So I needed to
be conscious enough to have that joke. So I had to be AT LEAST 4 or 5!
Anyway I lost track of what I was talking about. Wonderful.
Losing track is great! Means I get a fresh start sooner rather than
later. Wonderful! Wow 1500 deaths on Titanic.
That's a lot of mortalities! What's the breakdown in regards to Class.
How many of them were the upper class and how many were the lower class.
Because IT MATTERS. I won't say which way is more important, that's up
to you to decide! But PICK A SIDE is the point I'm trying to make.
Last paragraph of the act! Wonderful! I
don't remember saying a single worthwhile thing but that's life. Most
days we live just plain aren't worthwhile! Seems fair I don't have
a problem with that. I dunno why I got the calamari. I mean
I guess at the time it seemed reasonable. But let's face facts it was
probably the wrong decision. Hey that's life. That's
Calamari. Huh. I feel like there's a solid 5 Final
Destination Films. Wow FIVE? That's one for every finger on the
hand! I can count Five TWO TIMES if I had to! Amazing.
If thumbs are so great for us that that's why we're so advanced imagine how
advanced we'd be if we have 2 or 3 thumbs per hand. I'm just imagining
all the different kind of pitches Baseball Players could make!
Probably 20 more pitches they can come up with if they had bonus thumbs.
Hmm gotta imagine there's some Freaks out there with a bonus thumb or too.
They can have pitches all their own in baseball! FINALLY being a
freak is paying off! The point is the act is over. I'll be
You Could Have Fooled Me
Hello friends. Looks like I'm gonna write act II, take shower, write
act III, take walk III! Then the rest of the day falls into place.
So I got that going for me. I watched the HISTORIC Mike Piazza homerun
from several weeks after 9/11. The Mets were BEHIND BY ONE RUN in
the eighth inning. He hit a TWO RUN HOMERUN. The mets take the
lead. THIS IS ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS. Look I'm not
impressed okay? I think I've made my point. Also was there ever
a Sports Headline that Mike Piazza hit a game winning RBI and the headline
was PIAZZA DELIVERY!!! My guess is Yes At Least Once.
Probably several times! They did it once and then a year later they do
it again and someone is like didn't we already do this and then the
other guy is like maybe who knows but that's not my problem.
That sort of thing. Pizza Hut has a new
promotional pizza that's Detroit Pizza. You've got MY Attention.
I like pizza so why wouldn't I be interested in new kinds of pizza.
I'd have to be AN IDIOT. Also it's more likely than not I have never
had a Chicago Style Deep Dish Style Pizza. NEVER! Gotta imagine
I gotta have that before I go to Detroit. Because the order in which
we do things matter for some reason. Either way Pizza Hut Detroit Dish
can't be regular Detroit Dish. Pizza Hut IN ESSENCE is it's own thing
uniformly. So I gotta find some AUTHENTIC DETROIT DISH pizza.
Damnit! I'm gonna have to look into this one I guess. What's
going on. I just lost track of My Life for a solid 60 seconds.
Oh right Saying, "Detroit Dish," and halfway thinking in my mind, "That's
kind of funny right? I don't know why but I HOPE SO at least."
So that's where I'm at in life unfortunately.
Cool! Am I gonna take a Fun Shower? I dunno!
Probably not! Why bother, that's my official position. Anyway.
Did the people who make the Titanic ever try to make a new boat afterwards.
You'd think they'd be like well we got into the business of being Prime
Super Boat Makers... can't let one mess-em-up ruin that completely. WE
MUST TRY AGAIN. Or maybe they were like wow we DID NOT do good
on that. We were way off! Good sign we're not meant to be boat
makers. Hey how do people do that thing where they make boat models
inside of wine bottles. I never got that. Doesn't seem possible!
Anyway what else is going on. Oh right I'm still that boat maker guy.
How's that working out for me. What else is going on. I bet
if we really tried we could sink the Unsinkable Molly Brown. Sure.
Penultimate paragraph of the act. You've got
to survive more than JUST ONE sinking to be called unsinkable. AT
LEAST two or three, and even that really isn't enough for cementing a
reputation as being unsinkable. But just ONE certainly isn't enough!
What else is going on. Also I assume Molly Brown was a real person but
right now I'm just imagining Kathy Bates. Every time I say Molly
Brown I REALLY mean Kathy Bates. Kathy Bates is sinkable is
the point I'm trying to make. As far as we know! That'd be my
first guess at least given the information we already have available to us.
Anyway. It's been 2-3 months since I cleaned my bathroom and it's
already at the point where it's practically unacceptably dirty. I mean
it's PRETTY acceptably dirty. But if you were a jerk about it you
COULD Make the case that it's not acceptable anyway! IF your first
instinct was to be a JERK.
Last paragraph before shower! I don't believe it.
Hey it might be Rosh Hasnuah RIGHT NOW. For some reason I believe Rosh
Hashunah is two days. Why would a New Years Celebration need to
be two days? I could see for other holidays you might wanna spread it
across multiple days. But to celebrate a new year? WELL SURE
you can celebrate the last day of the year AND the first day of the year.
That's two days. YEAH but I always imagined Rosh Hashunah was the
first 2 days of the year. I DON'T KNOW and I NEVER WILL KNOW.
The point is I DON'T CARE. I kind of do care but I don't care AS
MUCH AS I SHOULD. Anyway what else is going on. Right now
I'm leaning towards eating Calamari Lunch COLD. Then again
MICROWAVE would be good too. OVEN IS NOT WITHOUT ITS CHARMS.
I DON'T CARE! Not as much as I should. Wait yes I do!
I should care NOT AT ALL. If anything I actually care even A LITTLE
BIT TOO MUCH. I don't like the sound of that either! I'll be
Oh Right I Already Said This
Hello friends. Time to write the wrest of the entry. Sure I
wrote, "Wrest," I'd do it again! What do I got in store for
upcoming rest of the day. Take a nice walk and everything. Then
re-calibrate. Anyway. Took a bath today for first time in
months! It was pretty good! It was solidly a step above neutral
and into Positive Experience Territory. Also this is the first time
I've taken a bath since bathtub was cleaned as part of entire Bathroom Re-do
and it's FUN taking a bath in clean tub. More SMOOTH. The
bathtub is nice smooth PORCELAIN as opposed to lots of gunk stuck all over
it. So that's something to consider. I forget why. I
said it, though. If I said it it must be worth considering to some
extent because You've Been Forced To Consider It. You don't even
know you're considering things by reading this but that's EXACTLY what
you're doing! Sorry About That but on the other hand You're
Cool. What kind of stuff can I watch on The
Television that I would ENJOY. Not TOLERATE. I dunno if I'd
ENJOY further going through Final Destinations. It's OKAY enough.
Maybe a bit TOO okay. Don't get much out of it! I like the
scenes where people DIE. I feel like that's how we're supposed to
approach watching these movies? Then again it seems like you'd have to
be a psychopath to watch films and be like MAN OH MAN SOMEONE IS GONNA
DIE SOON THIS IS GONNA BE A BLAST AND A HALF. Then again I dunno
much about Films or Psychopaths and the intersection between them. I
don't know much about anything! I know roughly 40% of things.
Overall. All told. Is that a plurality of things? I
dunno! I dunno how that would work exactly! The point is I
dunno what else is going on.
Cool. I think in an ideal world I'd wanna go with
some Steak & Seafood meals starting with Tonight. This may or may not
be an ideal world, though! HMM kinda REALLY hope I get the Steak &
Seafood tonight, then. Because that would mean We're In An Ideal
World. And the Dinner Itself isn't that big a deal but if it DOES TURN
OUT we're in an ideal world man oh man is that gonna start paying off IN
A BIG WAY at some point perhaps starting even tonight if not tomorrow!
So we got that to look forward to if I get the kind of Meals I Want.
YEAH. Cool. Anyway. What's the next sign that I could
see that would show we're possibly in An Ideal World. Hmm. I
dunno! THAT'S WHAT IS IDEAL ABOUT IT. SURPRISING. Who
doesn't love to be surprised. It's ideal I guess for some reason!
I guess with good news. Although being surprised with bad news is
maybe better than just knowing bad news. Wow I was spared being
upset about this bad news until This Very Moment so I guess that's good kind
of in essence.
Not sure about that. Not sure about a lot of
things these days! Anyway. Belgian waffle was delicious
yesterday. Chicken curry was delicious yesterday. This is good
stuff let's keep it goin'! Maybe watch some Final Destination II as
Next Thing I Put On. There's still MORE PEOPLE THAT MUST DIE and if I
don't watch it THEN THEIR LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING. Or
their DEATHS would have been for nothing. Either way. The
point is If I Don't See It why should it have even happened in the first
place? Doesn't add up! Not 100% completely! LOOK do
I have any Tic Tacs left? I DON'T KNOW. Not in my room. I
finished the pack I had going for me for the last week or two. There
may be more in the house or there may not be I DON'T KNOW as of now!
They're called Tic Tacs because you can play tic tac toe with them.
No You Can't. You could if you had Something Else To Work With,
Too! That is accurate.
Last paragraph of the day! Wonderful.
THEN AGAIN calamari is seafood for lunch. Seafood for dinner? I
dunno! One is fried and one is I Wanna Say Broiled OR Baked?
That's DIFFERENT. I can feel comfortable having different cooked
seafood in one day! I can do whatever I want! This is one
example of something I can do. Sounds about right.
Anyway. Still waiting for a Modern Movie about the Hindenburg.
I'm pretty sure they made a Hindenburg movie in the olden days. But I
wanna see one for MY Generation. I think we've earned as much!
Also I assume Molly Brown was also on the Hindenburg and that's why she's
called The Unexplodable Molly Brown. Did Hindenburg explode.
Or crash. Or something else. Better LTURQ. Caught
Fire. Not sure if it was a full fledged explosion. NO ONE is
really sure as of now! That's not true. Yeah but if I say
it without qualifying it as not true I could make you think it is true!
What would be my motive though. Anyway. The entry is over!
Be back tomorrow!
September 7, 2021
I'm Okay With That
Hey! Time to write some more crap. It's a new day compared to
the last day. It September just like it was yesterday. So
basically some similarities and some differences off the top of my head!
Called Doctor just now because I need to re-up with a medication.
WOW WHAT A STORY. I didn't tell you the most interesting part yet!
I LEFT A MESSAGE. Amazing! Nice Chicken Meal for lunch.
Dinner may be one of several things! Well it definitely will be one
of several things. But it won't be the other of the several
things. That's the point I'm trying to make. No it isn't.
Well it's the point I ended up making anyway. Is any of this
legible. No way of knowing for sure. Watched a scary horror
movie last night Why It Was Only Called Ghostly Encounters.
It's scary because I DON'T LIKE THE CHARACTERS. I'm scared of
having to pretend I like them if I get transported into the movie!
What else is going on. There's a sequel
available, too! I can watch that today. I can do lots of things
today. I got many hours to work with and it's gonna be fun working out
what and when I do certain things. So far one of the top songs I like
playing in Rocksmith is We Are Them Champions. It's fun to
listen to and fun to play! Also it's easy SO FAR. As it
increases in difficulty that may change. Anyway lots of fun songs on
that. A solid DOZEN I've played and have had fun with! And gotta
imagine when I work my way around to the others those'll be fun too! I
LIKE music. That's the point I'm trying to make. Threw out some
garbage last night! I had TEASED that possibility yesterday in entry
and lo and behold it manifested itself in reality! Cool! Anyway
I put Tape back on Cable Box Time. I didn't like it! ESPECIALLY
when trying to sleep. I don't need a clock nightlight. ALSO I
don't need to open my eyes here and there and be told what time it is.
So I put the tape back on last night. I was gonna try to go an entire
24 hours without it because that's the promise I made to myself but I just
didn't feel like it!
YES! Huh. Anyway how's the rest of
the day lookin. VERY good. Because I'm anticipating being done
with this entry at some point and then it's all free time after that.
Already called Doctor. That's the chore for today! Hmm.
Chicken curry or chicken with sweet potatoe and broccoli. If I knew
what I was gonna have for dinner that'd help me pick a lunch that's more in
contrast. But I DON'T. Oh no what to do! What to do.
Hey I know! Write some more paragraphs. First goal to aim for is
5 paragraphs down so I can get coffee. Then, re-assess where I'm at in
life! HEY YOU IDIOTS I just re-upped with Sprite Zero so that's
an Accomplishment right there! Hey let's write some worthwhile stuff.
Have you heard about FUCK I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING. Hey here's
some good news what's up with DAMNIT NOTHING.
Hmm. Should start figuring out some new
music to listen to. New to ME. And/or New to THE WORLD.
That sort of thing. Me and my Dad went through Mini Animal Crackers
way too quickly! We're down to like a half dozen in the box, so
basically crumbs. After 4-5 days! OH NO WHATTA JIP.
The good news is THERE IS NO GOOD NEWS THIS IS UNIFORMLY BAD.
What the hell kind of cookie I'm supposed to snack on if I don't wanna
commit to the amount of calories A Single Regular Cookie Is.
NOWHERE THAT'S WHO. What else is going on. Break a regular
cookie in half. I DUNNO ABOUT THAT. Also now that I think
about it what REGULAR cookies do I got left. Oh no. OH
NO. OH NO. Wonderful. One of the top 2 options for
dinner today is WAFFLE. With EGG WHITES. And leave over 1/4th of
waffle for later and have EGG WHITES instead. WHY AM I YELLING.
Oh. For EMPHASIS.
Sure. How are things going with you.
Still reading the entry apparently! Sorry about that. The good
news is you will have a solid opportunity to Do Something Else quite soon!
When you're FORCED to stop reading here because it's over. That WILL
happen at a point in the relatively near future! Wow I'm a hero by
Not Writing A Never Ending Entry. Also by doing other things.
I don't think I need to get into specifics but I'm a Hero Many Times Over.
What else is going on. I help my Dad with GRAMMAR questions for his
class. I've done this EIGHT OR TEN times over the last six months.
Hey this question on the test does this sound right. Do I need a
comma. Mix up the words. I'm HELPING because I'M A HERO.
Also the best rule of thumb for grammar questions is go with whatever
sounds right. Who cares what's accurate. You wanna make sure
people understand what you're saying! Do what sounds right.
EASY. Coffee time.
Sure. What else is going on. Ya know
what? Maybe play some CALL OF DUTIES today. It's called Call Of
Duty II. But II Duty is DUTIES. The point is sure I can shoot
some people on video game. They're BAD people because they're on
the other side of the war. Deserve to be dead! It's either
them or me. Not if I don't play the game. As long as I don't
start up the game in the first place We're All Alive. Hmm I deserve
some sort of Nobel Prize for Peace by not playing a video game.
Sounds about right. How did they first get Nobel Prizes to mean
something. At some point it was just hey I won a Nobel Prize.
What the Hell is that. Who gives a shit. At some point
people started caring! WELL DONE by The Nobel Prize people to get
people to care. And VERY WELL DONE by Nobel to make his name
associated with The Best Of The Best. I assume Nobel was a person.
Better LTURQ. Sir Alfred Nobel of Sweden. Wow.
Sure!!! Seventh paragraph. He
invented DYNAMITE. Amazing. Now that I think about it I feel
like that's a piece of trivia I heard before. Nobel Guy's main
contribution to the world was DYNAMITE. And ya know what? WELL
DONE that's valuable. At first I was like well that's no good
DYNAMITE IS USED FOR WAR. It can BLOW PEOPLE UP. But now I
Realize ya know for the most part Dynamite it used peacefully and
productively. Blow up DAMS or something. I dunno why DAM was
the first thing that came to mind that could be blown up with dynamite.
There's probably some sort of reason that isn't occurring to me.
Either way well done. Why are we bowing up dams in the first
place. Replace them with EVEN BETTER DAMS. Oh okay that
checks out. Ugh. What else is going on. Was the
Hoover Dam named for Herbert Hoover. OR was Herbert Hoover named for
the Hoover Dam. Has to be one of them!
Nope. Eighth paragraph! I don't believe it.
Why don't I like the characters in Grave Encounters. They're
just regular people doing regular things! EXACTLY. I DON'T
LIKE regular people. ESPECIALLY if they're doing regular things.
Oh okay now I get it. How come there's a whole subgenre of Found
Footage Horror Films but NO Found Footage OTHER FILMS. I'd like a
found footage DRAMA. I'm there there's comedy spoofs of horror films
with found footage. But I want a comedy film that's NOT A SPOOF OR A
MOCKUMENTRY that's found footage. LET'S DO A ROMANTIC COMEDY FOUND
FOOTAGE FILM. You heard it here first. YES I'M FIRST.
Alright I demand 100% royalties from the film! Why would you
make that film EVER if you're not making anything from it. For THE
JOY OF CONTRIBUTING TO SOCIETY. AND TO ME. Society
benefits and roughly just as important I benefit! Sounds like a
good reason to do stuff to me.
Ninth paragraph! I don't believe it!
Anyway what else is going on. Egg whites are great because it's sort
of like enjoying eating an egg but healthier. SURE it doesn't taste as
good as eating an egg but you can SORT OF get the sense that yeah this is
more or less eating an egg. I dunno what that observation
accomplishes. Probably not a lot! But it's how I feel! So
it does accomplish something! Now you know exactly how I feel re:
Eating Egg Whites. Wonderful. WE GOT MINI CHIPS AHOY.
PERFECT. A single Mini Chips ahoy is the amount of calories I'd
want from an individual serving of cookie These Days. When I'm done
dieting to lose weight I'LL EAT FULL COOKIES but in the meantime this is
where I'm at! YEAH. YEAH! OKAY. What
else is going on. Anyway. I was gonna binge-watch Final
Destinations. I LOADED UP the first one. Then I stopped it
roughly 75% into the opening credits. Got bored!
Wonderful. I'd go on a plane. Planes are
fun! I've only been on planes for a period if 2.5 weeks in my life.
Had an 18 day vacation in 1997! Either 3 or 4 plane rides overall as
it was a MULTI DESTINATION VACATION. We're talkin FLORIDA. We're
talkin' WASHINGTON DC. We're talkin' COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG.
We're talkin LAST TWO ONES WERE DRIVING DISTANCE NOT PLANE.
Amazing. Gotta imagine 1 out of those 3 destinations was pretty
fun. I don't have to imagine it I can RECOLLECT it. It's
ACCURATE in my memory. Anyway what else is going on. On
first plane ride ever to Florida I got bumped up to first class because they
had an opening and I remember drinking orange juice in a champagne glass and
being like ORANGE JUICE? WOW I CAN GET USED OT THIS!!!
Seemed like the most extravagant thing ever. Then again if I
remember correctly the GLASS WAS pretty extravagant. But the
orange juice itself isn' THAT big a deal. Hey I'll be back in a
That Sounds Fair
Hello friends. Write act II --> Shower --> Walk --> act III!
Those are ARROWS you're looking at. You can tell what direction
they're going in from the, ">," as well. So there's that! Gonna
have coffee with act III. I didn't include that in the Arrow Timeline
because I FORGOT. Anyway what else is going on. I'm WORRIED when
I put tape back on cable box I covered up the Signal Receiver. So if I
want to put cable box on or off IT WON'T REGISTER from the remote.
Oh no there's no way to remedy this situation. Guess I just have
to do it manually from now on. That's life! Think I'm solidly
leaning towards Waffle for tonight. And chicken with sweet potatoe for
lunch. Because THAT'S LIFE, TOO! My life! My life is
roughly the most important life out there to me. Maybe when I have a
family of my own I'll care more about their lives. That's MY decision!
Oh well what else is going on. I have a family.
But it's not MY family. I'm part of THEIR family. That's how I
feel at least. Anyway. I dunno. Haven't gotten any
stickers in a few months. I think the last sticker I got was probably
voting for NYC Mayor Primary To Remember. I remember that day because
it was raining very hard but I was taking walks anyway. AND I feel I
was listening to the Kanye/Jay Z album during the walks. This was
probably in Oh I Don't Know JUNE? Amazing. ERIC ADAMS won
the primary. I assume his first name is Eric. And I'm also
assuming his last name is Adams! 90% sure it's Adams and 40% sure it's
Eric. But it's a PLURALITY 40%. YEP ERIC ADAMS.
Would I rather his name be Adam Erics Yes Of Course Who Wouldn't but we have
to play the cards we're dealt in life. Or not play cards. And do
something else with our lives. Probably that. Cards are fun as a
diversion but if that's our entire lives we're not gonna be very happy
overall. I feel like the plurality of careers I imagined having in
high school was Professional/Semi-Professional Poker player. I never
actually was like YEP I'M DOIN' IT! But in somewhere between
the front and back of my head that was one of the main ideas I entertained
in my NOT SO WILDEST dreams.
So there's that. Now I'm grown up, though.
Don't wanna be a gambler anymore! On the one hand what if I lose?
And on the other hand I dunno who cares. Eric Adams looks like
a good guy! He's not the most progressive person by a long shot but I
just looked at a picture of him and was like I CAN GET USED TO CALLING
THIS GUY MR. MAYOR! I won't have to get used to it because I'm
never gonna talk to him at all and even if I did I don't HAVE to call him
Mr. Mayor but the point is... I forget... he looks like an okay guy, though!
So there's that. Also maybe he is progressive my a relatively
not-so-long shot. I'm basing my impressions on IMPRESSIONS I've heard
here and there. Also FACTS. But not ALL the facts. Only A
FEW of them. So there's that! Met game today is in EARLY
EVENING. I don't know how I feel about that! I'm pretty
indifferent to it as of now. If I thunk more about it I may either
solidly Like It or Not Like It but as of now I dunno how to feel so I don't
feel strongly about it! You can't feel strongly about something when
you don't know how to feel. You can be STRONGLY ambivalent.
You can be like I KNOW I WILL feel strongly about this one way or another
but I don't know which yet. The point is I feel strongly that at
some point I will have a relatively medium-strength opinion on this thing.
The Met game. Being at 6:40. Yeah.
Wonderful. I put Pastrami in microwave
yesterday and it worked out pretty good! I was pleasantly surprised
how appropriately cooked it was and whatnot. So I got that going for
me. It is Still going for me because I still have more pastrami.
Sure I'd like to only get a quarter of a pound so that's one mealsworth.
Had to get half a pound! Which TURNED OUT TO BE .54 of a pound!
So you can see the kind of situation I'm in. I forget.
What's going on? Oh. Right. Gotcha. I'm not hooked
on the trailer for the new Chucky TV Show HOWEVER I am starting to realize I
have faith in the people making it that they'll do a good job. ALSO
recently it occurred to me people who watch Child's Play for the first
time, 30 years ago, before anyone knew what Chucky Was... was it up in the
air whether it's possible Andy The Kid was actually doing the murders!?!
Then I watched the first 10 minutes again and was like oh of course not
they're very clear that the doll is the killer. Watching THE FILM.
Maybe in the TRAILER for the first movie it was like is it the kid or the
doll?!?! We'll never tell!!! Gotta see the movie!!! So
that's something to consider. I dunno WHY. You probably got
better things to do.
Last paragraph of the act! Then time to take
a solid shower. What else is going on. I don't know!
That's why I'm not saying anything. Because I have no idea what else
is going on. I feel like my middle name is Adam so I can relate to
Eric Adams in that sense. Also I've known at least one person named
Eric so there's that to consider too. Also I watched The John Adams
HBO Mini Series and he was a politician, too! Never known anyone named
John, though, now that I think about it. Seems like a pretty big
oversight! Pretty common name! I've known a JON short for
JONATHAN. No John, though. Go figure. Also, YES,
this was the Something Else Going On that we've been wondering What
It Will Be. Never known a John. Well it's good now that
we figured that out. Anyway hey time to take a shower. I'll be
back a little bit later!
If You Say So
Hello friends. Time to wrap it up! Relatively! It's still
paragraphs and tens of minutes away. DAMNIT. I wanted to
wrap it up IMMEDIATELY. I can still get there pretty quick. And
besides Not Wrapping It Up just makes the Ultimate Wrapping Of It Up all the
more sweeter when it finally occurs! So there's that. Gonna pour
coffee after this paragraph! So there's also that! Think I'm
gonna have the chicken curry for lunch. It has RICE. I haven't
had rice in possible TWO WEEKS. Delicious. They throw
rice at newly married people. I guess it's better than throwing
pudding at them! You heard it here first. That's my new
tagline. I'm gonna make something resembling a joke and then You
Heard It Here First! Seems about right. They throw rice
at newly married people, right? Better LTURQ exactly. GOOGLE
THROWING RICE AT MARRIED PEOPLE. Yep checks out completely.
Well when you put it that way it sounds dumb doesn't
it. Oh well no going back now. What else is going on.
Coffee! Delicious! What else is going on. Watch some
Horror Film. Dunno about going straight to the sequel to the movie I
enjoyed last night. I want A DIFFERENT KIND of horror film. My
tastes are very particular! Maybe a film I've watched many times and
will enjoy again. How about Final Destination. I dunno if
I watched that MANY times. Probably, I dunno, 4-8 times. That's
a pretty good amount of times but there's films I've watched dozens of
times. THAT'S many times. So basically I forget why I was
talking about things that are dumb but oh wait now I remember because I want
this to end sooner. It's all coming back to me. Don't
have any ZOOM appointments until next week. I told you yesterday or
the day before I was gonna look into that and I keep my promises!!! The ones
I remember at least! Also some of the ones I remember I don't keep!
But all things being equal I'd probably err on trying to keep promises
rather than going out of my way to not keep the promise!
Sure, great. What else is going on. COOKIE
making the start for the New York Metropolitans this evening!
Wonderful! He's on my fantasy baseball team. And I can't FULLY
blame him for my team underperforming! So he's got that going for him
is the point. He's not responsible at all. Not a huge part of
my team one way or another. The point is Great. Also I'm the
one who added him to my team so anything he does is really On Me.
Gotta take responsibility for things! That's how I feel this
paragraph. Got some fresh garbage can/bags in my room and bathroom.
Really should make the most out of this situation while I can before they
start to get filled up relatively rapidly. Huh. What else
is going on. I haven't even put the garbage bags into the garbage cans
yet. I really should do that before I start throwing things out.
Yep that totally makes sense.
Penultimate paragraph! I don't believe it.
I guess. Oh, right. People named John. Never in my life!
I don't think so at least. WHAT OTHER common names have I never met.
Gonna have to look at a list of common names for easier inspiration.
NO. I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN. I WILL NOT LOOK AT A LIST
OF COMMON NAMES TO DETERMINE THE MOST COMMON NAMES OF PEOPLE WHICH I HAVE
NEVER MET. You heard it here first. What else is going on.
I finished the coffee. I don't know how I feel about that. On
the one hand Yes more coffee would be delicious. On the other hand?
I'm kinda coffee-full! I don't NEED more coffee is my gut feeling.
So it's served it's purpose is the point. Anyway. How soon after
this entry will I take my next walk. Oh I Don't Know THIRTY TO
FORTY FIVE MINUTES? I phrased that as a question but it's really a
declarative statement. Thirty to forty five minutes. Yep.
Wow! The good news is I Forget.
Delicious RICE coming up. And only HOURS after that is delicious
WAFFLE. FIVE hours. I dunno about you guys but I have 2
real meals a day and the time period between them is consistently right
about FIVE HOURS. Give or take no more than 15 minutes either way!
And guess what, it's been working out for me! No complaints at all
about it. So I got that going for me. I'd consider Freedom Chip
Pancakes but I still have 1/3rd of 1 pancake for a breakfast in the fridge
from last time! I can't get something where I already have the
leftover from the last time! It would be Irresponsible and most of all
Dumb! YES I could have eaten that for today's breakfast so I COULD get
it again tonight but I decided to have something else instead! I stand
by my decision! I have no choice! It's been made and that's
that. Anyway hey the entry is over. That's great news for
everybody. I'll be back tomorrow.
September 6, 2021
This Seems Familiar
Hi friends! I'm back here to do more stuff. Very similar to the
stuff I did yesterday! More or less the same thing most likely.
Anyway got some SPRITE ZERO going on. Delicious! I can
SEE THROUGH this soda. Very convenient! Now I know what's on the
other side of the glass for sure! Uh-oh small carbonation bubbles
are visible and are obstructing my view. Great nothing's ever easy
is it. Some things are easy. I can't think of any off the top of
my head but I'm sure that's accurate. The first thing that I thought
of was Pitching in MLB Video Game from 10 years ago. But that's NOT
easy. VERY hard. So basically after that I gave up trying to
think of something that's easy. Anyway. Been wearing SHIRT the
last few months when undressed for end of day along with boxers.
Normally I'd just wear boxers but I don't wanna be reminded me my fat
stomach by not wearing a shirt and looking down on occasion. Yesterday
I decided to see how it goes without a shirt and NO PROBLEM. I'm thin
enough to not wear a shirt now! YEAH.
Wonderful. I wonder where else I can stop
wearing shirts. Presumably other places around the house at the very
least. Anyway what else is going on. Gonna have a nice Pastrami
sandwich for lunch today. Dinner is anyone's guess! POSSIBLY.
Just because anyone made a guess doesn't mean that's what my dinner is gonna
be! In fact they're most likely gonna be wrong. But it's
POSSIBLE they get it right and I'll keep you updated on this situation as it
progresses. Maybe an OMELET. I haven't had an omelet in a
long time. I'm due for an omelet! Probably LEO. It's
HEALTHIER because fish instead of meat. Get off my back about it!
The L is for LOX. Lox is Salmon. Salmon is a fish.
Fish is thing in water. Water is thing in oceans. And of
course we all know what oceans are so we don't need to go any further.
Wonderful. Maybe binge watch The Critic.
I have it on the Digital Video Discs. I can go through that for
roughly the I wanna say sixth or seventh time completely?
Probably seventh. Sixth seems to low. Seventh seems JUST right.
Fascinating. It's a good show because it makes you laugh.
Also it's animated so there's no stress of having to look at real people.
REAL people? On TV? I Don't Think I'm Comfortable With This!
That's how I feel. Then again I wanna binge a DRAMATIC. Then
again what else is going on. Watched the pilot of Futurama.
Wait a second. Futurama. Pastrami. FUTURE AMA. PAST
(r) AMI. I'm confused. I confused myself! What else is
going on. I remember watching Futurama BEFORE it was cool. And
then I remember stopping watching it AFTER it was cool. It's a great
show to watch when nothing else is on! Hilarious AND Very Bright
Colors Nice Fun To Look At! But good luck motivating yourself to go
ahead and watch it on your own!
Really, good luck! I think you'll have a blast and a
half if you can accomplish that. Anyway hey the fourth paragraph.
Gonna go get coffee after this one! That'll make my life relatively
better. Sounds about right. Maybe watch some SHUTTER
horror film in a little bit after entry is done. I feel like watching
one from the 1980's with nudity. Good nudity! Not mediocre
nudity. I wanna watch ADEQUATE nudity. But nothing from before
1980's! That could be MY MOTHER naked. Not into that!
Not even a little bit! Some people are a little bit BUT NOT ME.
I'm assuming. Ugh. Also I will be happy with 1990's
nudity but NOT anything more than that. That could be MY IMAGINARY
SISTER NAKED. Not into that. Maybe a little bit! Wait no.
Not even a little bit! That sounds more accurate. Gonna get
coffee after next paragraph. I changed my mind! Get off my back
Great. What else is going on. Mets have a
day game for the third time in a row. I hope someone lost their job
over that. First day game was part of double header. Wasn't
part of the original schedule. Still I hope someone lost their job
over that because I'm a vindictive person and I get off on people losing
their jobs. Sounds about right. I watched Anaconda: The
Film yesterday and it wasn't bad! I like the part where they're on a
boat. Boat huh. I could get on board with this! I'd be
on a boat too if I had the chance. Hmm maybe I'd LOVE Jungle
Cruise. Also I like Disney World. Why wouldn't I want to watch a
movie based on Disney World ride? Because it's probably dumb.
GREAT Dumb is Fun. That's my ammendum to Wit is shit and funny is
money. Dumb is Fun. Kinda overlap with funny is money.
Also did I just come up with those things in my imagination? I
feel like I heard them somewhere Outside My Head but who can say for sure.
Anyway. Hi! It's me again. From before.
Sure. I wish I could heat up Pastrami properly. I could have it
cold-- fine! I could put it in microwave-- doesn't taste great hat
way! I can't do a third thing! Put it in oven I guess. I
dunno. Never thought seriously about that but now that I mention it
maybe that COULD work. Or I could eat it cold. Maybe.
People eat deli meat cold all the time! That's why they're called cold
cuts. Either that or because you're supposed to Cut It COLD. Or
they're cuts endorsed by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. The point is I
forget. Oh. Right. Maybe actually try pastrami in oven!
It's about time I try new things! Had a nice grahamed cracker
for breakfast today. Not your mini graham cracker. We're talking
about A HALFWAY HEARTY Graham Cracker! Hmm that reminds me of a
Tales From The Crypt The Summer To Remember Savings Event episode.
I believe it's titled Halfway Horrible. And THAT reminds me
hey I can watch some Tales later today.
Wonderful. I guess! If only the last
time I watched Sopranos was 3-6 months before it was, I'd be due to
bingewatch it again now before Movie comes out. However it's JUST
recent enough that I watched it that I can't very well watch it again quite
yet. Also who cares. I SOLIDLY remember 90% of things that
happen! Or at least 90% of the things I absorbed. Maybe 50% of
the things that happen in The Sopranos I haven't even picked up on yet.
But that's besides the point. I dunno I feel like it's close to the
point. YES that's what I said IT'S RIGHT BESIDE THE POINT.
Very close! What part of POINT don't you understand? Huh.
Look if you don't think I'm considering being a proponent of diner for
tonight specifically so I could get a Sweet Breakfastcentric meal again
You're An Idiot! I'm due for a WAFFLE though this time. I can
live with that! Maybe get a side of egg whites. Eat 75% of the
waffle and all the egg whites! Delicious AND the other thing. I
wanna say Nutritious. No that doesn't sound right.
Huh. All eggs are white. Untrue I've
seen some brown eggs. I got myself there. Anyway eighth
paragraph! We're gettin' there! I don't think I've ever had
fancy eggs from an animal that isn't I wanna say chicken? I've
had Eggos. Where are they from? Huh. The point is
can we eat embryos that don't come with hard egg shells. Gotta imagine
there's some menstruations that are delicious and nutritious that we just
don't have to crack open. Also Yes it's very possible I Don't' Know
How Eggs work. But the point is get off my back about it.
Anyway. You can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs.
Of course you can. Get someone else to crack the eggs for you.
Well then aren't they making the omelet? No if you do
everything else you're solidly the one making the omelet. If this
other guy helps out a little bit more then he's solidly assisting you.
But as of now it's pretty much all you.
Huh. Happy labor day. I do work.
I don't get paid for it! But you can solidly consider some of the
stuff I do work. So I feel like today is in celebration of me
as well as others. It's ABOUT TIME. Anyway better live it
up today because tomorrow we're back to no one is celebrating me.
GREAT this day is FOR THE WORSE. I wasn't even THINKING about not
being celebrated but now that I am I realize it's gonna be all over in 12,
13 hours! You got my spirits up and FOR WHAT. For NOTHIN'.
Also I don't have a job. Maybe today isn't for me at all. Oh
well it was nice to be celebrated for 90 seconds is the point. I
guess. When's arbor day. April? Probably April.
That's when Trees Live. Hey it is April. I'm either some
kind of genius or I saw it was April yesterday when I googled it. I
feel like I'm Some Kind Of A Genius. Also what kind of genus of
tree are we planting. That sort of thing.
Last paragraph before the break! I guess.
Maybe I can just watch a horror movie and pornography separate.
Why should I do that when I can multitask! Also I don't wanna commit
myself to a full fledged pornographic viewing. I just want to be
TITILLATED for 10 seconds 2 or 3 times. That's it! I don't need
OR WANT anything more than that for the immediate future. So get
off my back about it. Oh hey look at the time. Pretty good
time for where I'm at in First Third OF Day Schedule. Which is the
main part of schedule that's scheduled. On track to have a real nice
day, sure, great, wonderful. HMM maybe I should take off masking
tape from cable box? I feel like I'm at a point in my life where
it couldn't hurt to see what time it is explicitly much more often.
Then again it COULD hurt. But then again it MIGHT NOT. But then
again WHY MESS WITH SUCCESS. But then again STANDARD WAY TO LIVE LIFE
IS WITH CABLE BOX TIME. Anyway I'll think about it. I'll be back
That's One Way To Look At It
That's great, just great. I'm back here with act II! Then gonna
take a shower, take a walk, the nwrite act III! As well as catching up
on beginning of Mets Game after that walk. As well as drinking coffee
with act III. Also hey great what else is going on. My
thumb is bleeding. What did I do to deserve this. All I did was
bite off some skin around the edge of the nail. I hardly see why I
should be bleeding because of that. Doesn't seem fair! Anyway.
What percent of people who bite their nails also bite the skin around their
nails. Better LTURQ. Doesn't look common. Also nail
biting is okay but biting skin around nails is A DISORDER? That
hardly seems fair! I'm just taking it to the next level! If
anything I should be REWARDED and PRAISED for this.
Anyway what else is going on. Got some more
SPRITE ZERO going on. Delicious! I feel like Sprite is
marketed towards black people. I don't know what I'm basing that on.
It just sounds about right. Anyway things that are marketed towards
black people are really marketed towards everyone because it's a stereotype
that black people are trendsetters. So if you can get black people on
board with your soda it's only a matter of time before everyone wants to
drink your soda. ALSO sports. Is that part of the equation?
YES. Sports are ALWAYS part of the equation when it comes to Sprite
Marketing. Fascinating. Also I feel if only I had saved
EVERY nail and BIT OF SKIN I ever bit off I would have enough raw materials
to Make A Frankenstein. Well halfway there at least. I
dunno about a FULL Frankenstein. Hmm what if I made a Dwarf
Frankenstein. I have enough material if The Frankenstein's Monster
I'm making is 3 feet tall! See it's called being RESOURCEFUL that's
all that is.
Wonderful. What else is going on. At
first I was worried I'd have to rush to fit in shower before walk but I
think I'm gonna get there pretty easily at this point. So there's
that. HMM I've been wearing the same pair of socks for a week. I
don't know why. I could easily put on a new pair. And the pairs
are exactly the same so there's no question of Comfort or Style Differences.
I just feel like I can always get a little bit more out of this pair of
socks so why not stretch it another day. That's how I feel. It's
called being RESOURCEFUL get off my back about it. Hmm better check my
notes to see if I have any Zoom Appointments this upcoming week. I
think I do next week. Off the top of my head! But I took Exact
Notes just for this kind of situation! See and you all doubted me
re: Taking Notes. You thought it was pointless! NOW WHOSE
POINTLESS. YOU! YOU ARE WITHOUT POINT. So there's
Penultimate paragraph of the act! I don't believe
it! Enjoying these mini animal crackers A BIT too much. We're
talking I'VE HAD A DOZEN ALREADY TODAY and it's barely noon! A
DOZEN OF THESE CRACKERS? THAT'S GOTTA BE UPWARDS OF SIX CALORIES.
Oh no. OH NO. What else is going on. I dunno. That's
why I asked you! There was no question mark and even if there was you
would have no way of knowing I was actually proposing a question AND if it
was actually directed to specifically you but NOW YOU DO KNOW and you better
come up with some answers FAST. That sort of thing.
Anyway it's Rosh Hashanah and we're supposed to eat Apples And Honey and I
feel like one of the flavor of the mini animal crackers is HONEY so
basically I'm fulfilling my yearly duties as A Jewish. Hmm is it
the duties for last year or for upcoming year. Upcoming year,
right? If I didn't do duties last year Oh Well Too Late. But now
I've got upcoming year totally covered so it's not all bad!
Cool. What else is going on. Gotta imagine
somethin. Whether it occurs to me or not is up in the air.
Anyway. I'm leaning towards taking masking tape off cable box!
But keeping it. This is only a 24 hour test run trial basis. If
I' mnot 100% satisfied I can put the tape right back on. Probably.
It might have lost its stickiness by then. Worst case scenerio I need
to get some new tape to put on. That's the WORST case scenario.
Hey I spelled scenario right that time as opposed to wrong the first time.
See? And YOU thought writing this website was pointless. I'm LEARNING
how to spell SCENARIO on my first try EASILY. Great.
Gonna throw out some garbage tonight. I do that all the time!
But it's almost always communal garbage from kitchen and whatnot.
Tonight in addition to that I'm throwing out MY ROOM GARBAGE as well as MY
BATHROOM GARBAGE. Wow my rooms will be SUPER clean! In the
garbage can area specifically! Other than that about the same
cleansileness as before! I'll be back a little bit later.
You Know What I Mean
Hello friends. Back here to write the rest of the entry! I got
an hour before I wanna take my next walk. I should be able to
accomplish five dumb paragraphs within that time frame pretty easily.
What if I want to accomplish five SUPER dumb paragraphs. Well
you'd think that would go even quicker, right? WRONG. The
more dumb something is the longer it takes. Not because of EFFORT but
causation working the other way! Taking long to write stuff leads me
to settle for writing dumber stuff! So there's that. What else
is going on. Mets game is TIED UP going into the third inning.
Wow! A Tie game! That's probably roughly the most common way for
a baseball game to be. Not a majority of the time. A plurality
of a time! FASCINATING. I like it when one team is up by
ONE RUN and ONLY ONE RUN. And it could be EITHER TEAM. Hmm
one run, hmm, one team is ahead which I like but the other team IS RIGHT
Fascinating. Got coffee going! I don't
believe it. I talked with my Dad and we're in agreement that any kind
of Delivery Place is okay. Right now I changed my mind and am thinking
about pizza. It tastes good because of the grease left over from
mopping up the plurality of the grease! What else is going on. I
dunno. Today is still the weekend. Three day weekend!
Labor Day! Then again a Celebration Day should be celebrated SOMBERLY.
Should be an ANTI-weekend day. It's even more of a slog than regular
weekdays because of how much we need to consider whatever day it is.
Oh well what can ya do. Not much! I've looked into it and
there's very little we can do re: this situation circumstance. What
else is going on. I dunno. Also with pizza I rarely get a 2nd
thing where I have food left for tomorrow. And the 1st thing I get is
never a 2 parter. So I can have super market chicken meal
tomorrow for lunch which I like because I Bought It So Now I Have To Eat It.
YEAH. YEAH! Anyway. Also is
taking the day off for labor day some sort of oxy-moron? My guess?
No, not really. Oh well that's life. A slice with garlic.
A slice with anchovie. Delicious! I can imagine myself eating a
piece of anchovie and being like ya know what half the time I get
anchovie I regret it but this time is one of the other times where I'm
enjoying it. That SCENERIO is playing out in my mind and I LOVE
IT. I wonder if I could ask for double anchovie. I probably
could. No one is gonna stop me. ALSO they probably'll even do
it! Then again I don't want it! Single anchovie is plenty
let's talk about it. I could get both slices with both toppings and
then remove the toppings from one slice each and add it to the other slice.
Yep that'll do the trick. OR just ask for double topping. I'm
sure they'll do that. Nah I like my way better. Anyway.
Also I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING I wanted double garlic!
What else is going on. Penultimate paragraph of
the day! Wonderful. I dunno. What's the Cleveland
Guardians 3 letter abbreviation. CLG? That's off the top of my
head. GUA. GRD. Maybe they already announced this
better LTURQ. I don't mean to alarm you but I'M NOT SEEING ANY
INFORMATION ON THIS. Wait a second weren't the Indians just CLE.
They can keep that. NO THEY CAN'T! FRESH START. NEED A
NEW ONE I feel very strongly about this. What else is going on.
Gotta think of something new to feel very strongly about. Already got
bored of feeling strongly about the last thing which I believe was
abbreviations for Cleveland. Oh, right. They can't keep CLE.
Because they need a fresh start. That's what I was feeling strongly
about! It's all coming back to me.
Last paragraph. Wonderful! I dunno whatta
do with the rest of the day. Watch some FILMS. Some TELEVISION
Programs. Hey what time is it. And I Want The Cable Box To Tell
Me. No one else tell me. Hmm. HEY IT'S 577!
WAIT A SECOND NO. That's the channel. Well this was an
unexpected urn of events! Okay now it's 2:03. I had done
something with the Live TV/Recent Past TV buttons and I guess that triggered
Channel On Cable Box instead of Time. So there's that. Huh.
I don't wanna know what channel it is EVER. This has been a big mark
against cable box re: keeping itself untaped. What else is going on.
Oh hey the entry is over. Well, soon. I really should write a
few more sentences. Hey how are things going with you. Great.
Wonderful. I hope you survive another 24 hours until the next entry.
I hope you THRIVE another 24 hours. Good luck with all that!
See ya tomorrow.
September 5, 2021
Did You Say Something
Hello friends. Today is today! I don't believe it. What
kind of wonderful stuff is in store for today. Maybe some chewing gum.
HEY I've woken up in the middle of the night three nights in a row now and
BINGED on chewing a piece of gum to help me fall back asleep.
Which seems not so bad HOWEVER I end up with an odd number of gum. Gum
comes in even packages. That's obvious. I chew two pieces at
once NORMALLY. However if I chew one piece of gum at night, and
there's an odd number of nights, OH NO EVERYTHING IS OUTTA WHACK.
I figure it they sold gum in odd amounts they'd get a lot of angry letters.
Unless it's 15. Divisible by Five. I can see that. Well five
is too low and 25 is too high. So 15 is really the only thing they
can get away with. Wonderful. What about 9. A nice
3x3 packaging. Kinda low amount for gum.
Anyway. Nice September day outside.
Inside, too! It's September Day EVERYWHERE in this time zone for this
amount of time. HEY I'm in pain slightly in my mouth. We're
talkin' the upper right section of mouth. Gum-type area. Mouth
gum. Not Chew Gum. Although maybe chew gum is what instigated
this! Well gotta imagine this'll go away on its own. It's
fun to imagine it because it means I don't need to do anything.
Anyway. Got bison burger for 1 meal today. Chicken Super
Market meal for other meal! Probably Kids Meal. Hmm I'd get a
Happy Meal from a Macdonalds. Or a Big Kids meal from Burger King.
Burger King had a kids meal analogous to Happy Meal. Then Right Around
The Time I was becoming a Big Kid they introduced a BIG KIDS Meal.
Which is more than a kids meal but less than a value meal. HEY I'M
IN FIFTH OR SIXTH GRADE THIS IS PERFECT FOR ME I'M A BIG KID. Also
gotta imagine I would get the Big Kids Meal plus Three Sides. And One
or Two Of The Sides Is Just More Hamburgers.
YEAH. I'd eat a value meal. You
can't argue with that value! Presumably! It'd be illegal to call
it a value meal if it wasn't appropriately valued. Anyway.
I'd eat some cafeteria food. School cafeteria! Hook me up with
some of THAT! Anyway how come there's not a chain of Cafeterias.
I'm sure some eateries border on cafeteria type food and atmosphere
and guidelines but no one really gets it done. Also since we're adults
we can get WHATEVER WE WANT. No one's gonna tell me whether I should
get chicken fingers or a Jamaican Beef Patty. Also I CAN GET BOTH.
No limit to 1 meal per student. WE'RE ADULTS LETS GO NUTS.
Anyway what else is going on. Maybe there's cafeterias for homeless
and the house-ed poor. GOD DAMN LUCKY BASTARDS. Also YES
we better be allowed to bring our own sack lunch to Adult Cafeteria and eat
for free. It's allowed to bring in outside food AND there's no
entrance fee. I feel very strongly about this.
Also yes there are Adult Cafeterias all over the place.
Like in hospitals or other places where you need to eat sometimes. BUT
a) not full fledges SCHOOL cafeterias and b) you can't just GO there to get
the cafeteria. You have to be in the building or compound for
something else already. I want a place where it's like HEY LETS GO
TO THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA TONIGHT. Look is this all falling apart
YES but the underlying point remains and I'll stand by that TO THE DEATH.
Well maybe not to the death. I'll stand by it as long as there's
no consequences at all. WHAT THE HELL The Mets have an early game
again today? Sounds... I DON'T KNOW. At first I was like
I DUNNO ABOUT THAT TOO EARLY I WAS PICTURING A LATER GAME IF ANY.
Now I think HEY I CAN GET INTO THIS SURE WHY AM I YELLING I NEED TO CALM
DOWN. The point is I'm going to get coffee after the next paragraph.
Was that part of my Thought Response to The Mets. Or am I just saying
it now. Also, All This. What Else Is Going On.
Cool! Dominic Smith is on the BEREAVEMENT
List but they never said who he's bereaving! I need DETAILS. I
don't really need them but I wouldn't MIND them. I had a Hebrew School
teacher named Mr. Braverman. Is that relevant? Also spelling may
be off. But the point is sure great. The main thing I
learned in Hebrew School was the holiday where there's three walls attached
to your house and you celebrate it by having one wall missing. I
believe it's called SUKOT. Not sure if that is real. Now
that I think about it I could be way off. Oh well what else is
going on. I feel like in the last year or the penultimate year of
Hebrew School we would skip class and play Dreidel in an alcove for money.
And when I was doing it I thought we were being rebels. In retrospect
I feel like the Hebrew School Teachers and Administrators would be proud of
us! They think they've learnt nothing of Jewishness but HERE THEY
ARE PLAYING WITH A DREIDEL Mission Accomplished! I wonder what we
were missing in class. We were done learning Hebrew. At that
point either we got it a little bit or not at all. But we've moved on!
We learnt history. I dunno what was left. Anyway what else is
Wonderful. I got coffee! I had SIX Mini
Animal Crackers. Which are all in the shape of bunnies. So Bunny
Crackers I guess. SIX?!?! That's 25 calories overall!
Also sure I have two at a time. Which is still very little to chomp
on! If I was really doing it to the extreme I'd be popping in six or
eight at a time. YEAH. I got coffee going on.
Delicious! It occurred to me HEY there hasn't been a school
shooting lately! Then I realized oh right it's the summer.
Even still there is summer school! And let's face it the kids most
likely to shoot up the school are in summer school. UNDERACHIEVERS.
I dunno if that's accurate. Could easily be the overachievers that
snap and shoot up schools. Then again there's more motivation for bad
students because this will expunge their permanent record. Or at least
replace it with a more relevant record. However Gotta imagine it
doesn't look good on college application if you did a school shooting.
Anyway. Seventh paragraph. Yeah!
Maybe play some ROCKSMITH soon. I'm in the mood RIGHT NOW but I don't
want to disrupt morning routine. So gotta hold that on in my back
pocket for early afternoon. Also maybe I should be holding onto it in
my front pocket if its really important. That way I can keep an eye on
it a little bit better. Anyway. I don't think anyone has ever
stolen anything from me in my pocket. I feel like they warn you about
that when taking New York Public Transportation. Especially CROWDED
transportation. But I never had a problem! The closest I came
was I dropped my glasses on the floor and they broke. But that was
actually the opposite because not only did no one steal my broken glasses
but another public transporter FOUND THEM and HANDED THEM TO ME. So
the point is don't worry about getting robbed, 9 out of 10 times a
stranger will GIVE YOU something not take it away.
Wonderful. Also I think part of the story is
I didn't realize I dropped my glasses??? I dunno I think I would have
realized it even if I was moderately drunk. Anyway what else is going
on. Eighth paragraph! Tomorrow is LABOR Day. Not ARBOR
Day. LABOR Day. What's arbor day. Is that a day where
they celebrate trees or something. Arbor has to do wit trees,
right? What am I thinking of. YES I WAS RIGHT. It's
a day where you celebrate planting trees. Go figure. Arbor
Day: They Have The Meats. What else is going on. I'm not
sure if I've EVER had an Impossible Patty. I've had Veggie Burgers and
patties and whatnot. But a full fledged IMPOSSIBLE something?
Not yet! Well it's high time I did. I guess so. Get
off my back about it, though! I'll take care of it IN MY OWN TIME
Ninth paragraph! Rosh Hashanah coming up.
I believe this year is The Year Of The Rat. Also in real life I
was born either in The Year Of The Rat or The Year Of The Dragon.
In Chinese Years. Better LTURQ. Year of the dragon.
GREAT. I was EXCITED about being the Year OF The Rat because it's got
CHARACTER. Dragons? I can take or leave dragons.
Also I believe Dragons have something to do with Sagittarius. I don't
know WHY. I don't know LOTS of things. I got jalepeno peppers on
my bison burger for today! Which is good because the last time I got
them I didn't like them on the burger so this time I'm DUE to like them!
See I'm sort of a meal planning genius. I'm sort of a meal
planning genus. Huh. How about that. Anyway.
How come there's a special Bereavement list you can go on but not for
other upsetting things in life. What if you're just having A No Good
Horrible Very Bad Day. But without someone dying. How come
there's no list for that BUT if your GRANDMA dies you can take some time
off. DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.
Wonderful. Maybe I have gum cancer from
the Cancer Crackers. I don't think cancer shows up that quickly.
But then again what do I really know about cancer. Not a lot! I
thought I knew it doesn't show up that quickly but apparently I was wrong!
Hey I haven't had a tobacco cigarette in 2 and a half years! For a
long time it looked like well pretty good odds I'm suffer Lung Problems a
little bit later on. Also HEY Gum problems and whatnot too. Oh
well what can ya do. And NOW it looks like well probably will
avoid that because I STOPPED. Shows how much you know!
Huh? Oh. Right. Sure. What else is going on.
I DID NOT take a seventh walk yesterday. Just didn't make sense the
way my schedule shook out! But the good news is who cares its
meaningless. Anyway I'll be back in a little bit.
What Have I Done
Hello friends. Back here to write 5 paragraphs then take a nice shower
break then write 5 more paragraphs. That sort of thing! I'm a
FAN of how it's starting to get cooler outside. One day I hope to
start wearing my sweatshirt jacket again. For comfort and for style.
That's just the kind of LOOK I'm going for! Black sweatshirt
jacket? Great. Grey sweatshirt jacket? Also great!
Black is slightly lighter. Wait a second grey is slightly lighter.
IN COLOR. But black jacket is slightly lighter in SUBSTANCE. So
that's for slightly warmer days and grey is for cooler days. I can't
just go by STYLE I have to go by SUBSTANCE COMFORT. You heard it
here first. Maybe you heard it somewhere else first. But the
point is By Now you've definitely heard it.
Great. Gonna have coffee #2 with act #3!
I feel very strongly about this. Watched a nice fun Shutter
movie yesterday. Really dumb and the plot didn't exist in anyway I'm
comfortable with but it had FUN stuff constantly happening. That's all
you can ask for from a movie! Wait. No. You can ask for
a plot that exists in a way we're comfortable with. In fact you can
DEMAND IT. Threaten to Boycott The Movie if they don't have a plot
to your liking. Say I'M NOT GONNA SEE THIS MOVIE UNTIL THERE'S A
BETTER PLOT. What can they do? They need people to see the
movie otherwise they're a failure. Gotta give the people what they
want! I lost track of what I was talking about. Oh, right.
Okay. Gotta wonder if there's a commentary track on the Armageddon
DVD and if it's Billy Bob Thornton along with some supporting characters who
also worked for NASA and they're in quasi-character and treating the film as
if they're at Control Base in NASA and talking about how the movie is going
like it was a rocket ship they were monitoring. Huh.
Wonderful! What else is going on. I
forget. Wonder what kind of film I'll watch today. Maybe watch a
GOOD film. Instead of Dumb Silly Horror Film watch an Adequate Serious
Horror Film. Well I'm not 100% happy with either of those.
Ideally a film would be a COMBINATION. And be an Adequate Silly Film
Film. That's the sort of thing I'm after! HEY I should get my
Dad to help me cut my hair soon. Maybe in about a month. That'll
be six months since last haircut! Wonderful! Also I can shave at
the same time. For convenience sake! The point is some people
can get regular haircuts now but I'm not a regular person who can get some
haircuts now. Because I live with THE VULNERABLE. What else is
going on. I'm looking forward to this act being done so I can do The
Next Thing. Which in this case is taking a shower. I feel that
VERY often near the end of acts. Waiting for them to be done.
Because The Next Thing is REALLY gonna be a blast and a half.
Wonderful. How is this the end of the act.
When I started that sentence it was only HALFWAY through. Past
halfway is near the end. That's not too controversial an assessment.
What kind of assessments would be too controversial. I don't
feel like ANY assessments I've made recently are controversial at all.
I STEER CLEAR of controversy because I don't want to alienate people!
That's how I feel. Then again RATS ARE BETTER THAN DRAGONS.
I can say that because I'M a dragon. What else is going on.
Let's face it Anything That Exists is better than a dragon. They're
not real! They're not good Tangibly In Substance at all! They
offer NOTHING on account of BEING Nothing! Rats on the other hand
spread the bubonic plague. So you can easily make an argument Rats
Hurt More Than They Help. However THEY HELP US TEST THINGS. Like
DRUGS and MAZES. Without rats how would we ever figure out how to beat
mazes? Right? That's how it works.
Last paragraph of the act! I guess! Also
maybe rats can help spread disease to our enemies. So gotta
look at the glass half full side of everything. Some people who
get the bubonic plague may have it comin'! Anyway what else is going
on. Also rats power things by running on wheels. I'm assuming
those times you see rats running on a wheel, the premise of that is it's
attached to a lightbulb to power a lightbulb. That's why those
scenarios exist. To harness KINETIC ENERGY from the rat into something
USEFUL. Like a lightbulb for example! Anyway what else is
going on. Then again maybe its the lightbulb that is giving Power
to the rat which helps him run more easily. I dunno I'm gonna have
to look into that one. Hey it's time to take a ShowerBreak.
I'll be back soon!
Get With The Program
Hello friends. Time to write act III! Then take a walk. My
Dad is taking a walk soon and I'm fitting in walk before him but that
requires I'm ready to take my walk in 30-35 minutes from now. I can
finish entry in that time. Easy! It's also reasonable I can't.
Solid reasonable possibility! But if that happens I'm Taking A
Break From Entry To Take Walk. I don't wanna hold my Dad's Day up!
That would make me a bad son and if there's twelve things I want to be one
of those twelve is a Good Son. So I got that going for me. I
suppose. My Dad wants to get a delivery tonight but I should eat food
I have in the house! I dunno if I'm being a Good Son there or a Bad
Son. I'd help my Dad pad out the delivery if that made me a good son.
However being responsible and getting super market meals out of the
way may make me An Even Better Son!
The point is if I write this act quickly that makes me a good
son. No question about that! That's just a certainty.
Anyway I dunno. I can spend 90% of my day not living on a good
son/bad son spectrum. Totally put that out of my mind! Focus on
one of the other Eleven Things I Want To Be. Anyway. Hey I can
look into Being A Rat. That's something I apparently want to be.
Well if you've gotta be a rat or a dragon it's a rat. That says Very
Little though overall. Could just mean I don't wanna be a dragon.
I'm A REAL BOY dragons are false. I think. Also how are there
dragons across cultures across time and space. They don't exist at
all. Yet they were thunk up by peoples independently? Maybe they
did exist! Now I'm not so sure. Hmm I've given myself a lot
to think about. Maybe I'd LTURQ if I had more time. No time
to waste on dragons! Except for talking about them in entry.
But that's not a waste of time. It helps me pad the entry!
Cool. Mets have had 4 straight hits to
start the game and lead 2-0. WOW. I'm spending valuable
time looking back and forth at TV every 15 seconds. This is time
that could be better spent padding out the entry. Oh well the
experience was used to pad out the entry when I talked about it. So it
did help it turns out! Oh right Dragons. Google are dragons
real and if not EXPLAIN. Anyway what else is going on. Nice
rest of the day in store! Listen to some Music on walks. Watch
some Mets game. Play some Guitarsmith! The Mets have had five
straight hits now! That's gotta be some sort of record only counting
the last week or so! So that's something to be happy about.
You'd think at some point the Nationals (the team The Metropolitans are
facing) will just give up. Just save the energy of your players for
tomorrow! Give it a rest.
Cool. I dunno. Uh oh I'll finish writing
the entry with time but Doing Spell Check may take HALF AN HOUR ITSELF.
I mispell A LOT of words. Also there's a lot of common words I
misspell all the time. Scenerio. Off the top of my head.
Should be Scenario! You'd think I'd absorb this knowledge at some
point and apparently you'd be right, Look Here, Right Now, I'm displaying
that absorbed knowledge. Amazing. What else is going on.
I dunno. Jeez. I don't know what I will have for lunch in
relation to what I will have for dinner! I think I'm leaning towards
the burger for lunch because It's Delicious! Sure it'd be delicious
for dinner too but Let's Treat Myself have that delicious sooner rather than
later. Besides lets face it by dinner Kids Meal Chicken Parm may be
delicious too! I THINK SO. Yeah. COULD BE.
Last paragraph! I did it! Hey the Mets
half inning ended. They scored 4 runs! That might be enough to
win the game right there! Now they should put all their energy into
preparing for tomorrow's game for strategy. Why was energy on a game
you're probably gonna win when you could be preparing for tomorrow's game
which who will win is way up in the air! Also hey what else is going
on. September! We're solidly into September at this point.
No hey it's barely September let's be honest still kinda August.
August is WAY over. Let's talk about it! Or let's move on.
I have nothing else to say about it so that's a decent barometer of whether
I should or shouldn't talk about it further. Also running out of space
in the entry/paragraph! Gotta make the rest of it Really Count.
What else is going on. The entry is over. What an act.
Also I feel like it should have taken me 10 minutes to write this act based
on how it shook out. It took me 25 minutes. So that's
something to not be proud of. Or be proud of. I forget. Oh
well. I'll be back tomorrow.
September 4, 2021
Try To Look At It My Way
Hello friends. Here again with a wonderful new entry. One would
imagine. I consider a C- wonderful. And there's a decent chance
I reach a C-! So I got that going for me. Mets are SURGING.
That makes me happy. I like it when they do good because I root for
them generally. And when they do good this positively impacts my life
somehow. Except for when they're doing good past my bed time.
I'm either missing the game which I'm not happy about or I'm missing going
to sleep when I'm tired which I'm not happy about. Either way Yes they
should set a strict curfew for Mets games but we'll have to start working on
that later. I'm busy now! I can't be drawing up blueprints for
curfews! I got THINGS to do one would imagine. What's
today. Saturday. Amazing.
Wonderful! I finished The Fargo. It was
pretty good. I liked the SEASONS. If I had to rank the seasons
what would the ranking be. Well I DON'T have to rank the seasons.
So I'm not going to! Why would I do something I don't have to do.
Doesn't make sense! There was an episode where 90% of the episode was
in black and white. NOT A FAN. I was concerned there was
something wrong with my TV! Also I don't know why it had to be in
black and white. I could have Ignored The Color Myself if I felt like
it. Leave that up to the audience! Don't force it on them!
Anyway. Maybe there was SOME color but it was way more black and white
than normal. So there's that. Great. I got steak
and seafood for lunch. Something new for dinner! Could be
Anyway. There's no rush, but I'm gonna have
to start thinking about what Dramatic TV Series I will watch next.
There's no rush! Although there IS a Rosh Hashanah coming up in a
few days. So there's that to think about. Hey Yom Kippur
coming up soon after that. Gotta level up with God and make peace and
get on the same page. I'll do it LATER. No rush!
Got coffee made. Gonna pour it after next paragraph. That's how
things work! HEY I took a seventh walk yesterday and it was WONDERFUL.
Evening walk! Started the watch past sundown and it was legit almost
dark by the end of it. DELICIOUS. Nice atmosphere is the point
I'm trying to make. Evening walk in park. Somewhat dark.
Park Dark. Rhymes! And Walk! Almost a slant rhyme.
Evening! Nothin' there. If I take a seventh walk JUST A
THIRD of the rest of the days of diet I'd be A SOLID ONE POUND LESS than
without it. WOW A SOLID SOMETHING? I'm Sold!
Jeez. What's my new productive thing after
losing weight. Gotta do something halfway productive.
Otherwise what's the point. Hmm. Maybe gain weight.
Gotta do something. I can't do open mics. Not safe!
I can't get a job. Not safe! What CAN I do. Work
CREATIVELY. Yeah but I'm not GOOD at things. So
there's that. GET Good at things. Well sure you make it
sound so easy. No I Don't. Huh. HEY Mets double
header today and first game is SOON. It will be started before entry
is over. I dunno how I'm gonna maneuver Sort Of Watching The Game with
Entry And Walks And Shower. It's one of those GOOD problems though.
YEAH. Is there any sort of derivative of baseball where you use a
tennis ball instead of a baseball and a tennis racket instead of a bat.
My guess? Somewhere people do that. Maybe in some sort of
summer camp setting scenario. I'd do it! Whack that ball
real good! Coffee time.
I feel like it's POSSIBLE I've said at least one
worthwhile thing so far. Nothing occurs to me as of now but it's
possible there was a thing I'm not remembering. Anyway I got coffee
now! It's ALL worthwhile because when I'm incrementally More
Done then I'm incrementally Closer To The Rest Of The Day. Which is
chore free! This is kind of a chore! Also gotta imagine there's
a chore or two in the rest of the day. I dunno what else is going
on. I hope someone else knows what else is doing on. And
they can tell me. Then again what are the odds this person is in
contact with me. This Someone Else could be ANYONE and the people who
could potentially contact me is a VERY small amount of people.
YEAH. WHAT THE HELL The Mets game isn't un till 1:05 PM and I was
imagining 12:30 because they said join us at 12:30 last night while
hyping this game and now I realize that's the PRE-SHOW. WOW.
Okay. Sixth paragraph! I don't believe
it. Play some more ROCKSMITH. Some EASY songs. I don't
need to be playing difficult songs why bother. Let someone else do it.
Anyway. I was watching Back To The Future and Marty McFly isn't that
great of a guitar player. He can play chords okay. (And not even
that when he's disappearing! LOOK disappearing from reality from time
to time HAPPENS and you need to be able to POWER THROUGH it). And his
Solos KIND OF make sense but are mostly nonsense. The point is
he's better than me but he's gonna have a tough time making a career out of
it unless he continues learning and practicing and taking it more seriously.
So there's that. Also when he sings it's clearly not him singing.
Gotta wonder if that'll pay off in the long run.
Wonderful. Thinking about getting another
Breakfastcentric Meal tonight. I've been leaning into that HEAVILY
lately and ya know what I have no regrets. Delicious AND reasonable
amount of calories. So GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT. The Mets are
playing good baseball! It's fun to watch. I can live vicariously
through them so in essence I'M playing good baseball. Wow
this is great news. Maybe that's something I can do when I lose
weight and need a new productive thing to do. Play good baseball
vicariously. I dunno are there winter leagues this year.
Pandemic might limit amount of Bonus Leagues. Hmm guess I'll need
to find a Winter Sport to live vicariously through. How's the LUGE
competition these days. Anyway what else is going on.
Gotta wonder if there is or ever was an outside hockey arena. And they
just play on Regular Natural Ice. Sounds not so safe but also fun!
GOOGLE OUTDOOR HOCKEY ARENA. HEY they have outdoor games now and
again to mix things up! But not a regular entire season deal.
Great. If I went back in time to play guitar
I'd play REALLY SHITTY guitar. Not just because that's all I'm
capable of but because of STRATEGY. You play good guitar?
When you go back to your original time then everyone will have caught up
with AND SURPASSED you. You're giving everything away! HOWEVER
if you play like shit then you return to your time period everyone is
playing like shit because that's all they know and suddenly YOU LOOK
LIKE A GUITAR GENIUS by being slightly better. It's called STRATEGY
ever hear of it. Wonderful. Also that's why I'm not good at
things. For strategy! Let's get that out of the way and settled
once and for all. Anyway what else is going on. Oh right the
paragraph is over.
Jeez. I can EASILY pair a cookie or something
with Steak and Seafood for lunch. EASY. I can also EASILY not do
that. EASY. Hmm deciding whether to have a cookie is EASY it
turns out. I thought it was more difficult than it was because I
got in my head about it. Now that I think about it it's not a big deal
one way or another. Hmm you heard it here first. The Mets
pitcher Carlos Carrasco is nicknamed Cookie. I don't know how I
feel about that! Wait. Yes I do! I don't like it!
Cookie sounds like an Old Lady's nickname. Not a man baseball player
IN THE PRIME OF HIS LIFE. Then again I also don't care at all and feel
Hey Live And Let Live. I wish I had a nickname. I'm happy
for him all in all and I wish him the best of luck. Also it's good
press for Cookies. I'm, "Down," with that! Maybe it's BAD
press for cookies if he doesn't perform well. Oh well that's life!
Is it. Is that life. Really? Sure it is.
Last paragraph of the act! I don't believe it!
Oh right gotta figure out what productive I can do in life in 3-4 months.
HMM. All I could come up with is Make Music but I'm not
GOOD at that! And I presumably will have no INSPURATION. And
also I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE. So there's that. What else is
going on. I get to take a nice walk soon. Park Walk! Which
is a slightly better walk all things considered. Except for One Thing
Considered which is that it's 1-2 minutes shorter than Other Walk.
Which makes no difference if I take them the same amount of times day in day
out. But if we're just ISOLATING one walk and looking at it on its own
merit as if it was the end all be all walk, I might rather take the other
walk because it's more exercise. HOWEVER it's fun to walk in park on
account of TREES and NATURE. So the point is I forget but I'll be
Are You Sure About That
Hello friends. Here to write a few more paragraphs. Then take a
fun shower. Then drink coffee and write more. Then my day will
be good. Presumably! What else is going on. I'm not gonna
do anything particularly fun in the shower. Like masturbate. Off
the top of my head that's the main thing that would turn a regular shower
into a fun shower. But I don't anticipate doing that! Then again
now that I'm thinking about it maybe I should. I'll keep you updated
on this situation as it progresses! Anyway. I don't like
stepping into shower and water feels too hot for 5 seconds. Maybe I
should make it cold and then step in and then make it hot. Well
that's no good then water will be too cold when I step into shower.
Surely there's a heat setting that feels comfortable when I first step in.
I can IMAGINE stepping into water being showered and it being pleasant.
Well I'll keep you updated on THIS too as it progresses.
Wonderful. HEY I got 3-4 months to really put
some thought into what I can do productive after weight loss. Gotta
imagine I can come up with SOMETHING. Maybe there is a job I
could get that's safe. And I would be good at! And is available
to me. I dunno that's a lot of variables where All Signs Point To
No. Also having a jub isn't fun! I want to HAVE FUN.
Some jubs are fun. Yeah you'd think so wouldn't you. Anyway
what else is going on. Maybe I can become General Manager of The Mets.
I'll NEVER get a DUI because I don't drive at all! Also I know about
being a general manager I'VE SEEN DRAFT DAY. Also I know about being a
general manager I'VE SEEN MONEYBALL. Also I know about being a general
manger I've seen THE MANAGEMENT. Pretty good odds there was a movie
called, "The Management," in I Wanna Say The 1990's. Better LTURQ.
There was a film from 2008 just called, "Management." Well what do I
care about that. Nothing! I'm talking about THE Management.
Oh right what else is going on. LOOK I gotta figure
out whatta do with the next 3-4 months before I can think about what happens
NEXT. Keep your eye on the ball. Play the game you've got today
and don't worry about the one tomorrow! That doesn't sound right
it's good to prepare for tomorrow. I feel like that's a general
lesson we teach kids. Be prepared for tomorrow or something!
Oh well the point is I dunno live your life okay it doesn't matter that
much get off my back about it. What else is going on. If I
Don't have a car how will I get to and from stadium. Also is General
Manager Office somewhere In Stadium? Gotta hope it would be, right?
That'd be fun! Anyway I guess I can buy a bus and drive that to and
from stadium. But I can't drive a car OR a bus. Well easy
I hire a personal bus driver. WHAT'S SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THAT.
Penultimate paragraph of the act! Also YES of
course this bus is made up to look like a regular city bus to trick people.
That's part of the deal! That's how I get off! Anyway what else
is going on. I feel like Clint Eastwood played a scout in a movie and
he presumably had to deal with General Manager. So I saw that movie
too. Anyway I don't care anymore this is a new paragraph all that
is old news. Cool! Hey today is the weekend. Part of
it at least. You know what that means! NOTHING.
Well it may very well mean something to you. It probably means
something to a big majority of adults! PLUS KIDS. Also
elderly who are normally TOO elderly to even be CONSIDERED adults.
And Of Course Dead People. What else is going on. I'd like
to be buried in a mausoleum. Or Not Buried, as the case may be.
Just lay around somewhere above ground where people can see me if they felt
like it. I like the idea of being in the thick of things even while
dead! Above ground! Still relevant and part of the picture!
I guess. Pretty good chance I'll have entry done
by start of Metropolitan Games. This is important for some reason.
Great. I think I had a dream where I was playing HALO. I
forget the context. And I forget if I DEFINITELY had the dream.
Solid 75% I had a dream. Which was MLK's original script for speech.
I THINK... I HAD A DREAM... CAN'T FULLY REMEMBER IT SO I CAN'T SAY FOR
SURE... Oh well such is life. What else is going on. I
dunno. Now I'm thinking about whether I'm gonna have a Fun Shower or
not. I mean I might as well at this point, right? Couldn't
hurt. What else is going on. I guess get started on The
Management once I'm done losing weight. Whatever that means.
I'll be back soon!
I'll See You Tomorrow
LOOK I'm enjoying these Cancer Animal Crackers a lot. The first time I
tasted it I thought it had a slightly weird taste but I got used to it.
REAL USED TO IT, REAL FAST. Now I can't get enough of them!
Well I can get enough of them. I have a handful and that's enough.
But he point is Sure What Else. Did NOT have a Fun Shower today.
Too lazy! Also I like short showers. If I was having fun that'd
prolong the shower and I didn't feel like standing up that long. So
there's that. Got coffee going on. Delicious! Boxer briefs
which were new underwear as of a year or two ago and always fit snugly are
now feeling KIND OF LOOSE. HOLY CRAP it's good I'm losing weight
but I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING A FRIEND. These boxer briefs were
COMFORTABLY tight. Now all that's gone and my life will never be the
same. For the worse. Not for the better. Presumably
I can buy the exact same thing but smaller. You'd think so wouldn't
What else is going on. I will EASILY finish
this act before Metropolitan Games. Well, I mean, relatively easy.
Everything is relative! Just ask Einstein. He had an entire
THEORY which was Everything Is Relative. Per my understanding.
Also you can ask Einstein all you want but he'll never respond. He's
DEAD. He's DONE responding to people. What else is going on.
Probably gonna watch a tiny bit of Met game before walk. But no more
than a tiny bit! First guess is Just First Half Inning. That's
also my second third AND FOURTH guess. But then fifth guess is
something else. Sixth through fourteenth guesses are still
pending. GIVE ME SOME TIME to formulate further guesses.
Guessing TAKES TIME. Wonderful. What else is going on.
I got three Super Market Made Meals and they are ALL chicken based.
Kids Chicken Parm. Grilled Chicken and Sweet Potatoe and Broccoli.
Chicken Curry. WOW CHICKEN I DON'T BELIEVE IT. It's
healthy and you can eat it often without getting bored of it! And it's
RARE I get it from Regular Delivery Place. So basically I AM HAPPY.
With how these meals are shaking out. About other stuff? Well I
guess some other stuff is pretty good. To be happy about! I'M
UPSET A LOT TOO though.
Wonderful. I bet Einstein would be a proponent of
eating chicken. Well I guess it depends on the odds. If
I'm betting 100 dollars to win 10 dollars that Einstein is a proponent of
eating chicken I don't think that's worth it! Pretty crappy odds!
Also does he have to have EXPLICITLY proponeneted eating chicken in his
life? Or is it just understood somehow cosmically that it's confirmed
AFTER THE FACT he's pro-eating chicken. Because the first thing AGAIN
NOT GREAT ODDS. If he made a big deal about it In Life we would have
heard about it, right? I dunno that sort of thing. The
point is YES I also got Pastrami Deli Meat which isn't chicken but THAT'S
BESIDES THE POINT. It's adjacent to the point. Literally
RIGHT NEXT to the point. But it's NOT the point. Let's
talk about it. I forget about what. Whatever it was I was
just saying. Besides The Point. Oh. Right. It's
all coming back to me.
Penultimate paragraph. Got some GUM from
Super Market. I think I told you a few days ago Oh Right I
Gotta Add Gum To The Order. But I'm not doing it now. I'll do it
later. I said something like that. Well guess what I
REMEMBERED TO DO IT LATER. And now the gum is IN MY POSSESSION.
Except the parts I already chewed and discarded. Now they belong
Back To The Earth From Whence They Came. What else is going on.
Play some more ROCKSMITH today. Right now I'm tuned down half a step.
So I'd play a handful of those songs first. Then Tune Up! Play
some more songs! SURE I'd rather play the Tuned Up Songs first but
that'd require me doing an extra tuning today for no good reason. So
you can see the kind of predicament I'm in. Maybe you can't.
Oh well. Sorry about that.
Last paragraph of the day! I don't believe
it! I'm pretty sure some of these songs, not only am I playing a small
percentage of the notes that are actually played to make it easier, but I
feel I'm playing notes that aren't played in the songs at all! I'm
playing notes that are in key with the song playing and follow some logic of
the song MUSICALLY. But I don't think they're part of the song in
actuality at all! Oh no I'm scared. What else is going
on. Was there something else I was gonna keep you updated on.
Oh, right. I didn't make much of an effort to set Heat Of Shower Water
such that it was Neutral while I was stepping into the shower. Still a
bit too hot. But wasn't too uncomfortable today all in all. So
the point is the entry is over. I'll see you tomorrow.
September 3, 2021
I'm Not Real Proud Of This
Hey! Will I be accepting a Super Market delivery within the
next few hours? Of course I will! Will that interrupt me writing
the entry? Probably about a 25-30% chance it will. In the
meantime though let's get started. Have you heard the good news
about the world wide world of sports. The Mets won again
yesterday! They achieved this by scoring more Baseball Runs than their
opponent. I can't remember the last baseball game where a team won
while scoring less than their opponents. Off the top of my head must
have happened a handful of times throughout history. The good news is
I AM WEARING A SHIRT. Hmm. Didn't see that Good News coming!
There it is, though. Out of soda this morning. Drinking
cranberry juice mixed with water! DELICIOUS and nutritious.
The water part anyway. Can't speak to the cranberry juice.
Wonderful. I will be finishing THE FARGO
tonight! Then it's onto something new. Possible watching OZ.
Oz isn't a great show but it's
on TV and I'm pot committed to
watching a lot of TV every day. I hope if I ever go to prison they put
me in a unit where everyone is friends. I don't get why in Film and TV
and Documentaries people in prison are always enemies. Why can't se
all jus get along! Be FRIENDLY and people will be FRIENDLY BACK.
Also let's open up a FRIENDLIES STATION at the cafeteria. I feel
like there's a chain restaurant Friendlys. I might have seen that in a
movie. Anyway. If prisoners are too much friends with each
other hen prison wouldn't be so bad and if prison isn't so bad how could the
warden get off by making people in his ward suffer. He wouldn't be
able to, that's who!
Anyway. Started coffee. That's a good
non-water drink. It's part water. You pour in a lot of water and
then put some coffee grounds into another compartment and it combines them
to make coffee. Hmm what would happen if I poured in cranberry
juice instead of water. I'd have delicious Cranberry Coffee that's
what. One day I'll think about doing that somewhat. I look
forward to that day. Anyway got 3 part Steak and Stuffed Sole last
night. Gonna have part II tonight! And have Other Meal I Got
Freedom Chip Pancakes for lunch today! YEAH. Sounds good to
me! Wonderful. I'm up to a season or a part of a
season in The Twilighted Zone where episodes are an hour long. I don't
like it! Is what I felt AT FIRST. Then I got used to it.
Is what I felt SECOND. Then I stopped liking it again.
That's what I'm UP TO in feeling.
Yeah. Cool! Gonna get coffee after this
paragraph. I don't believe it! If I finish this act before
Super market delivery comes, maybe play some VIDEO game in the meantime.
Why did I capitalize, "Video." For Fun! Oh okay I get it.
Today is Friday. FINALLY the weekend. I've been waiting all year
for the weekend! This weekend. All past weekends were a
snooze. This weekend though is gonna be The Tops. Anyway
2022 is coming up. I can't wait! Think of all that will happen.
COVID continuing. A SECOND AND MAYBE THIRD THING. I like
the sound of that! Hey what if something GOOD happens. I
dunno if that's possible. How could something good happen.
It doesn't even sound right. I can imagine bad things
happening. I can imagine nothing happening. Good things
happening just Does Not Compute!
Wonderful. Coffee time! Wonderful. I
can VAGUELY ALMOST imagine good things happening but them not being
reported on or emphasized. It's PRACTICALLY possible. So that's
a best case scenario I guess. Anyway. Threw out TWO pairs of
boxers that are way too big on me and were even probably to big on me when I
was 30 pounds heavier. YEAH that'll show THEM for being useless.
Also if we're talking about one pair of boxers we're talking about ONE
BOXER. There's no Pair there! No S in BoxerS. Let's
talk about it Language is Dumb and I say we boycott language. Or
figure out another way to call attention to this problem. I'm open to
other ideas! I haven't checked a Joe Biden Approval Rate TO Remember
in 2-4 months. Gotta imagine he's several points down from when
I last checked. The honeymoon is over! Which is ab ad thing.
You get married you're happy. You're on your honeymoon you're VERY
happy! The honeymoon is over that's when the regrets start to kick in.
Sounds about right.
Wonderful. What else is going on.
Should have gotten some Mini Black and Whites from Super Market.
But I DIDN'T. Because I'm some sort of idiot. Also All Lives
Matter people I imagine have a problem with Black And Whites and insist on
calling them Whites And Blacks. Not because they're racist just
because WHITE PEOPLE MATTER MORE AND SHOULD COME FIRST. Don't call
them racist though THEY'RE NOT. Blacks are still part of the cookie!
A LESSER LESS IMPORTANT PART. Damn All Lives Matter People Will
They Ever Learn! Anyway. Possible we can get A Black
and White and Les Say Yellow Cookie? Divide it into thirds! A
third white (VANILLA) a third black (CHOCOLATE and a third something else
(NEAPOLITAN???). That sounds like a Million Dollar Idea!
I'd eat a Tri-Color Cookie IN A SECOND.
You heard it here first! How about GREY. I
dunno about that gonna have to think about it. What is this,
the seventh paragraph? Yeah! It is! Great! If The
Mets just gain TWO GAMES on Braves and/or Phillies they go into Final 3 Game
Series With Graves WITH PLAYOFF HOPES ALIVE. TWO GAMES? THEY
CAN DO THAT IN.. A MATTER Of... TWO GAMES... AS LONG AS THE OTHER TEAM ALSO
PLAYS... TWO GAMES AT... THE SAME TIME... YEAH. Wonderful.
Also yes they are now The Atlanta Graves. And the stadium is built on
an old Indian Burial Ground. WOW that sounds like a great premise
for a stadium. I've heard of ANGELS in the outfield but this is
ridiculous! Also presumably these ghosts are ANTI The Atlanta
Graves for disturbing their peace. So they're gonna always help The
VISITING Team. So that's something to consider?
What else is going on. It's called Atlanta
because it's only 200 miles away from The Atlantic Ocean. I LOOKED
IT UP ON A MAP AND EVERYTHING. Wonderful. Also all this talk
on History Channel where is the lost city of Atlantis? hey
Guess what IT'S GOTTA BE IN THE ATLANTIC OCEAN. The similarity of the
words is a HUGE give away. This one is pretty obvious you can refine
your search to around the Atlantic Ocean You IDIOTS how have you not thought
of this! Anyway great just great. Hey guess what instead
of playing video game I can watch TV! That's like playing a video game
but I don't have to bother pressing buttons or Thinking How To Advance In
Video Game. YEAH SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. Anyway. Mets
are fun to watch this week not just because they're creeping up in playoffs
so games mean more but just because they look like a better team! It's
more fun to watch them and be like yeah they could win this game because
they're pretty good. As opposed to watching them and being like
well maybe they can win by accident but these guys are not doing great at
Wonderful! What else is going on. Ninth
paragraph! Lucky Number Nine! Sure. If Man is 5 and
the Devil is 6 then God is 7 and SUPER GOD IS 8!!! You heard it
here first. Hmm this super god seems intriguing I'd like to hear
more about Super God. Maybe bypass Regular God completely.
Who needs God when you've got ULTRA GOD. Nobody that's who.
What else is going on. Hmm what's going on on the dark web. What
happens if I google Dark Web. I wanna see what the dark web is all
about! HMM A LOT OF NO GOOD. People on Dark Web ARE UP TO
NO GOOD. I don't like it and I WON'T STAND FOR IT. Maybe
I can go on Dark Web to BE A HERO and change the system from the inside!
Then again it's too risky! You start messing on the dark web THEY'LL
MURDER YOU. Then can do anything they want to THERE'S NO RULES THAT
CAN HOLD THEM.
Last paragraph of the act! Wonderful. I'd
like to participate in the Light Web where there's ULTRA Supervision and
only the Most FAMILY FRIENDLY content. Sounds fun also what else is
going on. Looks like I'll finish the act before Super
Market delivery. They still got 5 or 10 minutes it looks like though!
Maybe less than 5 if I write this paragraph as quickly as I want to!
What else is going on. Met game tonight is tonight. Fargo
Finishing is tonight. That leaves today wide open! SOME
SHUTTER THE SCREAMING MOVIE SURFACE is in store!!! Also it's out
of store. In my room! I don't need to go to a store at all!
Oh well that's life. I'd go to a blockbuster. They'd need to
figure out Why People Would Need To Go There Anymore but if they do figure
that out I'm There! The point is the act is over. I'll be back
in a little bit!
Oh Well That's Life
Hey! Accepted super market delivery and took a walk and here I
am! Wonderful. Got orange soda going on. I can have ALL
THE SODA I WANT for 5 days. Then on the sixth day I can still have all
the soda I want but I'm CONSCIOUS of the dwindling supply and it weighs
heavily on me. On the seventh day CAN'T HAVE ALL THE SODA I WANT
NOT NEARLY ENOUGH. So that's how my weeks go is the point.
Got some MINI animal crackers. Animal crackers are already small.
These are half the size of normal animal crackers. In the shape of
BUNNY. Not a 3d Bunny as Bunnies are In Real Life. A 2
dimensional bunny! DELICIOUS. A mix of separately
flavored Honey Chocolate and Chocolate Chip. Mixed at random.
DELICIOUS. Anyway wearing a nice SHIRT today. Not really.
One of my least favorite shirts in the rotation. But let's face it
these days any shirt is a nice shirt. Gotta be thankful for the
good things in life. Shirts.
Sure. I wear T SHIRTS because I'm a cool kid.
Wonderful. Didn't play any video games between Act I and super
market delivery. Was only 20 minutes. And I spent that watching
THE TELEVISION SET. Wow Television Set? That's one way to
live your life. Probably not the best way. I could think
of worse ways, though! Easily in the 30th percentile of Good Ways
To Live Your Life. Just THINK of all that CONTENT you're consuming.
Amazing! Anyway the next natural disaster in New York can we get a
Nice Tornado. I feel like I haven't experienced any tornado at all let
alone a nice one. It's important to try new things in life. Like
new TV shows. Content that's similar to the last TV show you watched
but somehow different in some way to keep your attention. Also Oh
Right Tornado. I don't want any damage to anything ESPECIALLY HUMAN
LIFE but I wanna SEE IT and maybe PARTICIPATE IT as long as I'm not
ultimately hurt or killed in anyway.
So there's that. Much Ado About Rip Torn.
Sure. What does it say on Rip Torn's tombstone. RIP Torn.
Does it say RIP on tombstones? I feel like it does. Kinda
unnecessary though. Look we know the dead bodies should rest in
peace. This is the same thing it says on the graves on either side of
this guy. Don't bother with the engraving WE GET THE IDEA.
What else is going on. How deep are graves. I know the phrase
Six Feet Under. Is it REALLY Six Feet. Or is that some sort of
lie. Anyway. I'd like to be buried EXTRA deep just for fun.
I don't know why that's fun. In fact maybe being buried very shallow
is more fun. I've given myself a lot to think about. Also
is it legal to start my own cemetery. I dunno what brought about
that idea. Well I was thinking about how I have no burial spot as
of now so if I die I dunno what's gonna happen. And then I thought
well hey I'm a DIY kind of guy maybe just start my own cemetery for MYSELF.
Even if its a one person cemetery. I feel like I could do that if
I sign enough papers and grease enough squeaky wheels or something.
And then if I'm doing that MIGHT AS WELL try to get some friends to sign up!
Penultimate paragraph of Act II! Wonderful.
Sure I could always just leave instructions for those who outlive me to bury
me in some random place either in my house or maybe on public grounds in a
park somewhere. But that's OUTSIDE THE LAW. It COULD be done but
I'd be facing a lot of legal trouble IN HELL. Obviously they can't
penalize me on Earth because I'm dead but gotta imagine it'll catch up with
me SOMEWHERE. What else is going on. Shower coming up!
I don't believe it. HEY I could buy some sort of video game for Xbox
360. A HALO perhaps. WOW sure I got tired of the one video
game that I even made any progress pretty relatively quickly in but A NEW
ONE I'd probably get a lot out of for A LONG period of time.
Especially if it's HALO. That's a COMMERCIALLY and CRITICALLY
successful video game franchise. Wow I'm Sold!
Last paragraph. Also I get to have coffee soon
with Act III! This just keeps getting better and better! Every
now and then, not OFTEN, but I'm watching TV and I still get the sensation
HEY THIS IS A LOT BETTER THAN BEFORE RE: WATCHING THINGS. All else
being equal, if I'm watching THE SAME THING anyway, this is BIGGER and
BETTER because of TV. Look if you're gonna spend your life
watching TV maybe it's better to watch it smaller and worse so that you
don't get TOO invested or MAYBE it's better to watch it big and better so
that you REALLY get into it. I've given myself a lot to think about!
No I haven't. I already stopped thinking about it even before I
typed it. While I was a few words ahead of typing In My Mind I already
lost interest and/or enthusiasm for what I was saying. So there's
that. I'll be back soon!
Hey Here's Some Good News
Hey! My Mom was doing laundry so I took a walk instead of taking
shower. We can't use hot water with two devices at once! Not in
today's modern age. Maybe in tomorrow's modern age. CERTAINLY
not in yesterday's modern age! Anyway got coffee and orange soda.
Just try and stop me from having a good time! Actually, don't.
You'd have decent odds of succeeding! And then my Good Time is ruined
and for what. What else. Gonna take a shower maybe in an
hour or two. That's how things work today. Maybe take a bath to
mix things up. I DUNNO taking a bath I have to look at my
belly. And GENERALLY I'm happy with how belly looks these days but
from that angle there's no telling how I'd feel! Why risk it is the
point. Taking a bath is too risky! So I got that going for me.
What else. Lunch will be in Oh I Don't Know
three and a half hours. Delicious! Hours! Look is my
mom a jerk for doing the laundry when I want to take a shower? Yes!
Big Jerk! But I've forgiven. Sure she can do laundry whenever I
want but I can only shower AT THAT TIME but I've forgiven! Sure I can
shower at other times no problem but I'VE FORGIVEN. September huh.
Third of September! We're in the thick of things I guess. Oh
no it's FRIDAY THE THIRD...teenth? Except for the last syllable.
Wow that's even MORE unlucky somehow. Days can't be unlucky.
For some people to have an unlucky day LOGICALLY WE CAN CONCLUDE others are
having a VERY lucky day. Luck is a zero sum game re: People Enjoying
It Or Not On Days. I feel like that's not too controversial a
statement. Doesn't make sense. How can something that doesn't
make sense be controversial? You can't get upset about something if
you don't know what it is.
Makes sense. What else is going on. Hey
I don't have cinnamon toast crunch but I have graham crackers that are heavy
on the cinnamon! And the Steak & Seafood portion for tonight is pretty
light on the abundance of ingredients on account of being split into Thrice.
So yes I can have a graham cracker then! An entire one!
Certainly at least half of one. I feel like this is great and it will
make my day worthwhile in the end. So there's that. What
else is going on. My Dad was concerned that these mini animal crackers
will cause cancer because he saw something on the internet about that.
I looked it up myself. Didn't see anything! Then I found out YES
there is another product made by this brand that causes cancer.
Their Mac & Cheese! But I should be okay because what are the odds
that more than one product a brand makes will cause cancer. Definitely
gonna be either ZERO or ONE. Two or more cancer causing products just
doesn't make sense!
Penultimate paragraph. Look if you consume enough
products in your life at some point something is gonna cause you cancer.
You can't let that bother you or you'd be looking over your shoulder every
time you use a product! Just accept you'll get cancer from something
you shouldn't get it from at some point and live your life! Cancer
isn't that bad. Everyone gets cancer. I'm more worried about
stuff that would be more surprising to get. That I would have a
legitimate grievance with! Why should I die of this no one else
does NOT FAIR I'M GONNA WRITE A LETTER. Cancer all you can do is
shrug your shoulders. You certainly can't Stand Up To It! That
would make no sense. There was a TV FUNDRAISER against cancer
called that. Not sure what they do with that money. Give
it to researchers and whatnot. Well what do the researchers do
with the money. That's their business. I guess.
Last paragraph. Also if we stand up to cancer
enough that cancer is cured, then we'll just die eventually of Something
Else! So in the end kinda pointless? I dunno what else is
going on. My Mom had cancer. It was serious! I'm making
fun but sure I'm solidly against cancer and I hope they stand up to it
enough that it works and cancer backs down. I feel like that isn't too
controversial a statement. What else is going on. Put on a
Shutter Movie I think when this is over in a minute. Which one?
I dunno! I'll find out soon, though! You won't! I could
tell you tomorrow but it's only 50/50 I remember. Maybe 60/40 in favor
of You Finding Out Somehow. So there's that to look forward to!
Great. I'll see you guys tomorrow.
September 2, 2021
Ain't That Something
Hey. They're criminalizing abortion! I don't get it! What
do people have against abortion so much. YEAH I get they think life
begins at conception. But c'mon just DON'T think that you idiots.
Also even if you do think it why not just shrug your shoulders and be like
oh well what can ya do. WHY MUST YOU RUIN ABORTIONS FOR THE REST
OF US. Also on the one hand abortions will almost definitely continue
being legal where I live. But on the other hand LOTS of people
live in places where I don't live where abortion is or will be criminalized!
Which doesn't seem right! Sure they could move to where I live but WE
DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR EVERYONE. Hmm what if we pull a scam
where we vote for people who will un-de-un-criminalize abortion.
Wait a second they're scammin' us at voting too! We can't do that
either! Hmm this seems bad now that I think about it.
Anyway. Checked weight today. Was ready
to settle for 1.5 pounds less. I checked many several times and I was
1-2 pounds less. Let's go with 1.5 and split the difference.
So it's not ALL bad. On the other hand now if you live in Texas
and you want an abortion ROAD TRIP!!! This is gonna be fun.
Presumably you can get a few of your friends who also would like abortions
and make a real fun time out of it. Some people CAN'T AFFORD to
road trip. I know it's a problem you've got no argument from me!
Gotta imagine that could be a movie 3 years from now. Abortion Road
Trip. It's FUNNY and it MAKES YOU THINK. Hmm better get
started on the script NOW. These things take time and if I don't
start now I might fall too far behind. Also I don't know enough about
abortions to write this script. Or road trips! Or let's face it
What else is going on. Making more progress into
The Fargo. I look forward to being done with it. Another TV Show
Accomplished! Put it in the books! Is there way to guarantee
legal abortion in all 50 states by Federal Law or something. My guess?
Yeah probably they could figure it out. And trust me I KNOW
government. Almost as much as abortion road trips! Anyway.
I get why Republican POLITICIANS are against abortion. To rile up the
base! I just don't fully understand why the base are such jerks.
GET OVER IT! YEAH. Anyway hey coffee is coming up soon.
After next paragraph let's say. Also let's put it into practice.
It's one thing to SAY it. Meaningless! Let's DO it is what I
wanna do. I want Freedom Toast for lunch but I can't! Probably
gonna get Communal Diner Meal for DINNER. I can't get diner for lunch
and then other diner for dinner! WHAT WOULD PEOPLE SAY.
Sure. Unless I set it up that I can trick family
into getting something else for dinner while I get diner for lunch.
Hmm it's gonna take all my Convincing Conniving Powers to pull that one off.
Anyway. Looks like hurricane is over here in New York. It was
raining a lot last night! Night is the time period between the days.
Dark outside for the most part. Lots of people sleep during this time
period as opposed to being awake during the other time period. Now
you know. Hey the Mets have a baseball game today! I wish
them luck. Hey The Mets general manager was arrested for a DUI.
Or a DWI. I'm not sure if there' s a difference. Is a Driving
Under Influence more or less severe than a driving while intoxicated!
You're drunk to a certain level it's under the influence and then over a
certain level you're intoxicated? Anyway the point is WHO CARES IT'S A
VICTIMLESS CRIME. Sure there COULD have EASILY been a victim but
obviously there wasn't otherwise he'd be arrested for vehicular manslaughter
and not a DUI. So why penalize him for it!
Sure. Coffee after this paragraph. I
never drive cars so I can't get a DUI. I never have baby making
abilities in me so I can't get abortion. HOWEVER I feel strongly about
each cases! DUI = BAD. Abortion = GOOD. Anyway what
else is going on. I think getting a DUI gives the GM CHARACTER.
He's a bit of a wild man! A rebel! No one's gonna tell him how
to drive! Look out for this guy he doesn't follow all of YOUR RULES.
What else is going on. Why would you want to drive while intoxicated.
Don't you take your own safety into account. What are you dumb or
something. What an idiot! Moron. Sure great.
He must have been speeding or something, right? How did they pull him
over unless he was doing something wrong. He didn't just drive by
normally and they had eagle eyes and were like UH OH THAT GUY LOOKED
DRUNK LET'S GET THE SIREN GOING AND PULL HIM OVER. I LIKE THE SIREN
PART IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN.
Coffee time! Guess I'll get diner for dinner.
Lunch can either be frozen pizza or frozen meatloaf. I don't have a
problem with that! And if I did I'd keep it to myself and just bite
the bullet and have it for lunch anyway because that's part of being an
adult. Anyway. I can see myself enjoying either of those
lunches. I ca npicture it in my mind's fourth or fifth eye.
Wait a second if it's my MIND'S eye that might be the first or second eye.
The regular first two eyes aren't mind's eyes! Are they? I
dunno! Who cares is the point I'm trying to make. Also will
there be a TANGIBLE NOTICEABLE effect re: casual sex because of abortion
restrictions? Gotta imagine there'd be SOME less casual sex if
abortion is restricted/outlawed! And one day I hope to have casual sex
so THIS MIGHT EFFECT ME.
Ugh. Seventh paragraph. I'm under the impression
you don't know you're pregnant by the time they say you can get an abortion.
OR you JUST BARELY know a week or two before its restricted. My idea
to work around it is to get Abortion Procedures done every month rain or
shine. That way if you're not pregnant no harm no foul. And if
you are you're sure to nip it in the bud because you're ahead of the game by
doing it every month! WOW that makes a lot of sense! You
heard it here first. How common are abortions anyway. What's the
percent of women who have had an abortion at least once in their life.
Better LTURQ. A little less than 25% of women have an abortion by age
45. WOW. That's... a lot of people! This law is
going to effect... a lot of people! Well that's not good.
What else is going on. I dunno why they
determine it by Age 45. Just say Ever. Why is it another
category of women who have it at age 45+. That's MY problem with this.
Anyway I feel like 30 years from now we're gonna have Kavanaugh Babies
growing up. A whole generation of unwanted children and it's on HIM.
AND other people. But we can focus it ON HIM if we need to focus it on
one person I guess. You heard it here first is the point.
I don't want an unwanted baby. Who does? Literally NO ONE wants
an unwanted baby. Not A SINGLE person. You heard that here
first too is the point. Moving on. No more Roe Vs Wade?
But that's part of HISTORY. You learn that in SCHOOL. You can't
change HISTORY. I guess you COULD but you SHOULDN'T. Unless it's
BAD history. The point is I FORGET.
Penultimate paragraph of the act! Wait a second
isn't that a premise of the supreme court. That you can't change
precedent. Oh well I guess now you can. NOW there's
PRECEDENT for CHANGING PRECEDENT. I don't like the sound of that!
I don't like the concept of it either. But mainly I don't like the way
the words sound out loud. Just seems wrong to me! Anyway.
I dunno. Been thinking about having a nice Alcohol Celebration around
my birthday/reaching weight loss goal. Which may correspond pretty
closely! Just get a couple of beers. Or even BETTER some
LIOQUOR. You know have a nice Personal Party. Maybe get some
Pizza. Personal Pizza Party WITH ALCOHOL? Wow now I have
something to look forward to. In fact forget the alcohol I just wanna
have a Personal Pizza Party when I'm done losing weight. I can get
UNHEALTHY PIZZA because ANYTHING GOES now!
Wonderful. Get a personal pie from Pizza Hut.
I like it because it makes me feel special. It's AN ENTIRE PIE that I
get to eat myself. Delicious AND it makes me feel special.
I forget what I was talking about. Good. Probably something No
Good. Anyway. HEY I can have pizza for lunch. WHY
DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS SOONER THAT'S DELICIOUS. Wonderful.
If life begins at conception how do we know for sure when life ends? I
don't think we should be burying dead people. They might be alive
somehow! Better just prop them up at your kitchen table for the next
few centuries JUST TO PLAY IT SAFE. Alt way of phrasing that joke:
One day we might be able to BRING THEM BACK somehow. You embalm them
and bury them? Now they have NO chance. You're GIVING UP ON
THEIR LIFE. See phrasing it this way makes it make 5% more sense.
Because it's true. ONE DAY THEY CAN LIVE AGAIN but YOU'RE RUINING IT.
I feel I should get some sort of award for this GREAT POINT I JUST MADE.
I'll be back soon.
Keep It On The Down Low
Hurricane hit New York pretty hard! People died and whatnot. And
I was mildly inconvenienced! Instead of taking my last 30 minute walk
I was forced to WALK IN A CIRCLE IN MY ROOM which I did for an hour so in
the end it was probably more exercise but STILL POOR ME. The point is
the hurricane is over and presumably all hurricanes are over. No more
hurricanes! Not after we saw the negative impact of this one.
Why would we start up another one? It would make no sense!
Anyway I got coffee #2 going. Felt like drinking it now instead of
saving it for act III! Get off my case about it! Anyway.
Gonna lose another 17-20 pounds. Then I'm Golden! Hmm I'd eat
some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. They're golden in color. That's
why I thought of it. Makes sense to me.
What else is going on. Hmm maybe I SHOULD get
Cinnamon Toast Crunch from Super Market. It was never my thing.
I probably got it 2 or 3 times as a child. And never as an adult.
But it's HIGH TIME I TRY IT AGAIN. DELICIOUS. I like the
cinnamon! I like the crunch! The Toast part seems like a lie.
I know toast and this is clearly cereal and not toast. But 2 out of 3
ain't bad! Ask Meatloaf! Which right now is the 2nd option for
lunch but it definitely looks like pizza has got a clear lead. What
else is going on. Presumably by the time I've lost all the weight I
wanna lose I will be really attractive and then things will start looking up
in my life. That's the assumption I've been operating under.
NOT REALLY. Maybe it's a subliminal assumption but on the surface
I have no clear hope that things will get any better in my life! Oh
well as long as things don't get WORSE. Which they might.
Oh No. OH NO.
Cool! OH RIGHT I just remembered life will
get better because I can eat more. Well that settles that.
Maybe even start DRINKING again. You know to reward myself. That
sort of thing! I could ingest more SUGAR and SALT. USUALLY
SEPARATELY BUT OCCASIONALLY TOGETHER. My body will feel
momentarily GREAT about that when it happens. So basically I've got a
lot to look forward to. Gotta imagine most junk food has a high
amount of Sugar AND Salt. We don't have to imagine it
because I'm imagining it for us. But the point is I forget.
If 23% of women get an abortion by the time they're 45, that's what, over
10% of people around who have had abortions? At least? Or at
most? The point is I forget the point I was trying to make now all I
could think about is making a good Math Estimation without putting TOO much
thought into actually doing the math. If it's 25% of women that's 1
out of 8 People. But some people are children. So you can see
the kind of math I'm working with. The point is gotta imagine
people who want and have had abortions will vote accordingly.
Oh right voting doesn't count anymore.
DAMNIT they're always one step ahead! Penultimate paragraph of Act
II! Anyway are we still at any official wars anymore. Iraq war
is officially over right? Better LTURQ. They say it was over
in 2011. It's about time! I guess. What else is
going on. Then again I'm pretty sure there's places where it's like
we still have TROOPS there and we still KILL PEOPLE there but we're not AT
WAR. I could be wrong. That's the impression I'm under,
though! WOW an IMPRESSION I'm under? I'M SOLD!
Cool. Gonna take a shower after this Act. Gonna be great!
Presumably. OH NO We have TROOPS in America. IT'S A CIVIL WAR
GET OUT OF THE WAY. What else is going on. I finished the
coffee. I WISH THERE WAS MORE. There is more. But I won't
have it. TWO CUPS A DAY IS ENOUGH. YEAH.
Wonderful. Hmm I'd eat some Cinnamon Toast
Crunch. Anyone got any Cinnamon Toast Crunch? I'd have a handful
of them for sure. Re-upping with Super Market tomorrow.
May be running low on my Soda Supply tonight but I got enough that it's not
much of a problem. I can have WATER as a beverage 2 or 4 times why not
I like trying new things. Cool. Pizza is PEPPERONI pizza.
We're talking each slice equivalent has a solid TWO pieces of pepperoni.
WOW I'M SOLD. No I'm not. The PIZZA was SOLD. To ME.
That's how I acquired it in the first place! The point is I forget.
Still got three Mini Wings. That I don't particularly like! I
could have ONE but ONLY ONE with the meal if I choose to. Anymore
would be too much. Even ONE is too much. In fact I BETTER NOT
HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL FOR LUNCH JUST TO PLAY IT SAFE. Hey I'm gonna
take a shower now. Great, just great. I'll be back soon.
I'll Catch Up With You Later
Hmm if 23% of women get abortions that means a similar amount of men are
having abortions by proxy. Wow BREAKING NEWS this effects a lot of
people extremely negatively. You heard it here first! Anyway
what else is going on. Took a shower. Now I'm back and better
than ever! Well better than sometimes. Probably better than 1
out of 8 Times. Anyway. Maybe for my birthday I can get an Iced
Coffee. YEAH. I can get an iced coffee tonight.
From diner! Don't gotta go in anywhere to get it. But I don't
want an iced coffee tonight. Maybe during tomorrow Day. Maybe I
can do that if I feel like it. Mets GM pleading NOT GUILTY to DUI.
OR DWI. Whichever they are accusing him of. Anyway I feel like
you should be able to play MAYBE GUILTY???. You can plead
guilty of course. Not guilty of course. Say you don't wanna give
away too much information and play this one close to the vest. You
wanna plead MAYBE GUILTY??? :-? which is a smiley face. the ? looks
like the mouth AND REPRESENTS the question-mark nature of the face.
Cool. Probably gonna have to watch some TV
before next walk. My Dad hasn't started his walk yet and I need him to
come back from his walk before I can take mine. It's IMPORTANT.
I'M DOWN TO SIXTH PLACE IN FANTASY BASEBALL. Out of TWELVE.
And gotta imagine half of the league hasn't paid attention since Draft Took
Place to start the league. So basically I'M UNDERPERFORMING and I feel
terrible about it. I was in THIRD PLACE a few weeks ago. DAMNIT.
DAMN DAMN DAMN. Is this what my life has come to? Yes.
Yes it is. Apparently. Oh well. Watch some sort of
HORROR movie I guess. An OLD movie but not TOO old. We're
talking IDEALLY mid 1980's. Early or late 1980's is good. 70's?
A little too early! 2000's? WAY TOO LATE. I lost track
of what I was talking about.
Anyway. My Mom CLAIMS she has never had an
abortion. So there's that! She CLAIMS she's known people who
have had abortions and/or wanted abortions but couldn't get them. So
there's that! Abortion IS A THING THAT EXISTS according to her and
others. So there's that! What else is going on. At this
rate I will be done with All Fargos by tomorrow. Presumably there will
be more Fargo In The Future but that's just a guess prediction. We
don't know for sure! It could EASILY turn out to be incorrect.
But even EASIER it can be correct. Also PRETTY EASY that it's Maybe
Guilty??? :-()?. Also now in the smiley face it has big lips and A
Sideways QuestionMark Goatee. YEAH. Anyway. Anyway
what good news is there. Gotta be some good news out there.
HMM. I can watch TV today. Eat some meals. So my life
is okay! That's halfway there. My life being okay but
other people going through crap well that's 50% good there for me and
whatnot. Half is glass full!
Penultimate paragraph! I don't believe it.
HEY WAIT A SECOND MY LIFE IS HALF BAD TOO. Now we're talkin 25%
there! WHAT THE HELL I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS.
Wait a second maybe I do. I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.
Hey what's the latest news on whether we get another booster shot after 6
months. I feel like I want that even if I don't need it. I just
like the idea that I'm getting it when someone else needs it more won't get
it instead. It makes me feel like a big man. Anyway what else is
going on. NOBODY NEEDS IT MORE THAN ME. I'M THE MOST
IMPORTANT TO MYSELF PERSON IN THE WORLD. I dunno about that.
My immediate family is pretty close! I'm The MOST important person to
me but my immediate family are a close 2nd 3rd and 4th! Then other
people are PRETTY important too. No questioning that! But if
we HAD to rank people then yes I come out on top for better or worse.
Better for me. Worse for other people!
Last paragraph. I guess. If I had to
choose Who Gets Shot though for example I would NOT be in first place.
Dad would be in first place because he has extenuating circumstances.
But he already got his third shot! Then my Mom is in first place
because she's elderly and important to me. Then AFTER HER we're
skipping over my brother and me because we're young and healthy and we go to
Some Generic Old And/or Extenuating Circumstances Person Who Hasn't Had Any
Shot. It's all relative is the point. And people who aren't me
but are high up in importance to me are All Relatives more often than not.
Anyway great I'm a jerk. I'm not proud of it! I'm not ashamed of
it! I feel like there are a lot bigger jerks than me! But I
could stand to be less of a jerk. Great I'll take care of that
tomorrow. I'll be a better person TOMORROW I got things to
do today! Anyway I'll be back tomorrow.
September 1, 2021
I Don't Have To Explain Myself To You
probably should anyway though. Just so you don't get confused.
I'm a guy. I do stuff for some reason no one is really sure of.
Also That's About It. Anyway I'm a bit concerned about this
California Recall Election! I don't live there but some people do and
they deserve a Democratic Governor! Also it effects NATIONAL politics
because Old Lady Democratic Senator from California can die and then be
replaced by governor. Don't be a fool, vote AGAINST recall!
That sort of thing. Gotta imagine I have some imaginary readers in
California. I always imagine I have imaginary readers but it doesn't
get any more specific than that. I give NO qualities or attributes to
imaginary reader. Everyone's equal in my book! Except for the
fact they read this. In which case I pity them but what can ya do
Cool! Hurricane may be hitting today! I
dunno how serious its gonna be. No one does! That's how weather
works! We need a Minority Report situation but for weather. Get
some Precogs floating in a bathtub and they predict when the clouds EVEN
THINK about making it rain. That sort of thing. Also I know
people with money like to, "Make It Rain," but even THEY can't compete with
clouds re: making it rain. Wonderful. Woke up a little bit late
today. Not too late but later than the standard lately. YEAH.
Got coffee a-brewing! Got a Meal Up In The Air today. Kids
chicken parm for one. Most likely other one is Frozen Super
Market pizza. But I can get ANYTHING from The Doordash Enterprise To
Remember. WOW ANYTHING? That's Almost EVERYTHING I COULD
IMAGINE. In fact it is. Anything IS everything!
Hey it's a new month. Time to flip the page
on Patriotism Calendar. It's a picture of a father and son outside
of a tent and the kid is looking through a telescope. OH I GET IT.
Patriotism Camp Telescope activity. Duh! Anyway wonderful.
Mets are creeping back into contention! That may either CONTINUE over
the next few days or GO BACKWARDS. Or STAY WHERE IT IS. I've
narrowed it down to those three possibilities because I'm some sort of
genius. Anyway I got teriyaki wings yesterday! Pretty shitty!
The wings were half the size as normal wings which, fine, whatever, I can
just eat more so it's the same. But it didn't taste great! Oh
well now I know. For next time! OH NO I may forget over the
course of a couple of years. Then I get it all over again.
HAVE I LEARNED NOTHING. APPARENTLY. I HAVE APPARENTLY LEARNED
NOTHING. In the future. We need a Precog to make a signal
next time I think about getting Teriyaki Wings From Deli.
We need precogs for Everything. What we're
supposed to live in aw orld where Things Happen Before They Can Be Stopped?
That doesn't sound right! Checking my weight tomorrow. It's been
a solid Almost A Week And A Half. And that's how often I check my
weight for some reason. I know the reason but it's too
complicated to explain. Why bother. Let's just keep it to
ourselves and let the rest of us move on with our life. Huh.
OH NO Javy Baez lost a piece of Earring Jewelry when celebrating after
Successful Win yesterday afternoon. Did he ever find it? They
said it was DIAMOND. Diamond is the most expensive thing there is!
Also gotta imagine it has sentimental value! Also why you playin'
baseball with diamond earrings on. What if you get hit in the
earring by a baseball. Now not only is your ear getting hit by a
baseball but it can get CUT by the diamond. The point is I forget.
Oh. I feel very invested in whether he got his earring back.
Gonna get coffee after this paragraph! Wonderful.
SOMEONE got that earring. At some point someone will come
across it. Possession is 9/10ths of the law! Gonna have to
look into that one. I know that's a colloquial saying but is it
accurate? I dunno! Can't be UNIVERSALLY accurate. The law
is different from place to place! Anyway what else is going on.
Also I'm not 100% on board with Finders Keepers. I think the
Losers Losters have a pretty good claim to this thing too. After
all they JUST lost it. Five second rule! If they lost it
but then find it 5 seconds later it's still theirs! That's my
impression. Let's make it five HOURS. YEAH! I
dunno what this means. Hey great just great. Play some more
Rocksmith today. Watch some more Forego. Maybe a SHUTTER THE
SCREAMING SERVICE movie or two! It's gonna be fun.
Except for how walking may be in heavy rain and/or skipped
and/or replaced by Circle Walking In Room. I'm not very happy with any
of those options. DUMB HURRICANE. MAKIN' MY DAY LESS
CONVENIENT. Oh hey I was gonna get coffee now. Let's do that.
Hey I did that. Finders Keepers! Also I think Finders Keepers is
a good general rule because They Already Have It. It's easier to hold
on to something than to get something from someone else. Not only
LEGALLY is it more theirs but PRACTICALLY you're gonna have a tough time
getting it away from them. So many Doordash choices.
Chipotle! Chinese Food. PIZZA TYPE FOOD. Diner food and
all that that entails. WOW. Then again if I get something
from Doordash, gotta eat it again tomorrow. Then again DELICIOUS
who cares. Then again am I back to the first thing or is this a
third of fourth Then Again.
Wonderful. As far as I can tell it looks like
at the very least my next walk will be rainless. Great!
Wonderful. Amazing. Cool! I lost track of what I was
talking about. Think I'm gonna have Kids Chicken Parm for dinner and
have some wonderful something else for lunch. That's how I feel RIGHT
NOW. Not how I feel LATER. I may feel SIMILARLY later but odds
are against EXACTLY the same. Finders Laters.
Seventh paragraph. We're getting close to Calling It Quits for act I
HOWEVER I have hit a wall and I can't think of anything to say. So I'm
in no-man's-land! Which I believe is a World War I Trenches Reference.
It's between the trenches. You start running out halfway between
trenches you're gonna get shot! NO MAN will survive in THAT LAND.
Anyway maybe just stick to your trenches. Look you can live here in
the trenches you've already won call a truce. Let the no-man's-land
become a nature preserve or something, everybody wins!
Cool. If I could figure out how to pitch I
MIGHT have some fun playing Baseball Video Game here and there. But I
can't and I never will be able to! You'd think it'd be intuitive
enough that even the dumbest person could figure it out. But
APPARENTLY NOT. Because I'M THE DUMBEST PERSON and I can't figure it
out. Also there's no instruction booklet! This was a USED game.
And when the original owner sold it to gamestop they apparently kept the
booklet for themselves. Those BASTARDS. ALWAYS ONE STEP
AHEAD. Maybe I can look it up online. That's not a bad idea!
Probably some explanation somewhere. Some dumb website that
specializes in Controls For Video Games. Hey where do I get off
calling them Dumb. As of now THEY'RE THE MOST USEFUL WEBSITE IN THE
WORLD FOR ME. Yeah! Also this 2012 video game is so old that
most of the players are players I remember from when I was a kid as opposed
to players that are classic players for Current Time Generation.
LANCE BERKMAN? WHO ARE YOU KIDDING HE'S FROM 1997.
Lance Berkman's rookie year was 1999. I dunno about that pretty
sure he was already an all star in 1997. Anyway what else is going
on. Ninth paragraph! I know how to HIT in the baseball game.
I'm not great at it but I can easily make contact at least once every now
and then. What else is going on. I can field A BIT. If I
let the computer do the fielding for me. You don't press any button on
the controller, they're gonna field it themselves. I start pressing
buttons, then I take control, and I have to field it myself! Well this
is easy Just Don't Do Anything. Let the video game take care of
everything itself. It's called FUN. What else is going on.
I may have to press buttons to Throw Ball. But if I press nothing the
vide ogame will GET to the ball themselves I feel. YEAH.
Also not 100% how to throw the ball. So there's that.
What else is going on. I think the color
commentators in the game have too many things loaded up. I don't like
how much they have so much to say each at bat. I feel Less Is More.
Wonderful. I feel like either By Now or in Close Future they can have
Voice Algorithms so that when playing baseball video game there's UNLIMITED
amount of things they can say that are super relevant. WOW CLOSE
FUTURE? This could be in the cards for 2025 EASILY. I
dunno I don't like the idea of Super Intelligent Video Game Baseball
Commentator Algorithm. Might be Too Powerful and Try To Take Over
The World. Oh well I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Wonderful. I'm gonna take a walk now! I'll be back soon.
Hey this act went quickly. Now I'm not behind schedule at all.
You heard it here first! Presumably Only Here Last. No where
else will you hear this again! Wonderful.
Let's Enjoy Some More
Hey! Time to write Act II. My mom is doing Laundry so instead of
taking shower between Acts II and III I will take walk. Which is great
because it shouldn't be raining yet so it helps me work in Walkings Around
Rainings. Anyway what else is going on in the wide world of sports.
I'm not 100% sure what Newsom did to be recalled. The last I heard his
main scandal was either saying you shouldn't or making you unable to eat at
restaurants without masks and then he did that. In which case yeah
that's pretty bad looking but it's not I HATE HIM SO MUCH I'D RATHER
HAVE A RIGHT WING GOVERNOR OUT OF SPITE bad. Then again there
could have been other stuff since then! Or other stuff before then!
Even still Spite isn't a great driving force re: participating in politics.
It's an OKAY driving force. Not GREAT though.
Wonderful. Think I might have BAGEL for
lunch. House Bagel. From Super Market delivery! Put
some BUTTER on that sucker. After it's been toasted! I'll eat
that no problem. Not too much butter. Maybe roughly A
TABLESPOON. Or a TEASPOON. I can picture the kind of Spoon Size
but I'm not sure if it's table or tea. I think table! YEAH IT
IS TABLE. Wow! This is the kind of spoon you use on A TABLE
not when you're using TEA. Get with the program! I wonder what
kind of Fun Time I'm gonna take a shower today. Could it be only an
hour or two later than usual? Maybe in MID TO LATE AFTERNOON?
PERHAPS AN EVENING SHOWER IS IN THE WORKS?!?! I don't believe it
it's gonna be a fun mix-em-up and it could be pretty much any time!
Amazing. The Mets have 30 games left in Season. I feel like if
they go 22-8 or better they can make the playoffs most likely. That's
DOABLE. Also DOABLE should be said like a mispronunciation of DOUBLE.
WHICH IS A BASEBALL TERM. Wow all the pieces are finally starting
to come together.
Cool. That just means they need to win 7 out
of 10 games three times in a row PLUS JUST ONE BONUS EXTRA WIN. Wow
when you put it that way... it really adds... some context... I guess...
couldn't HURT re: context I suppose... maybe it can... What else
is going on. Also that's not a sure thing to be enough wins.
THEY MAY NEED A COUPLE MORE. OH NO I'M SCARED. What else
is going on. The good news is THEY'RE PLAYING MEANINGFUL GAMES IN
SEPTEMBER. Presumably. They haven't yet but based on my
understanding their next game will be relatively meaningful.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED we can all go home now. What else is going on
and crap. OH NO now they're saying rain will start in 40 minutes.
Looks like light rain though according to the Majority Report.
Presumably there's a Minority precog report that says Actually It's gonna
HAIL. But we don't have to worry about that probably. Anyway
Anyway what else is going on. Gonna have coffee
with Act III! I don't believe it. I'll drink some stuff that is
coffee. That's how that goes. Also the buttons to press
AND HOW TO PRESS THEM for each individual KIND of pitch is different.
Way to pitch fastball is different than curveball. And they're both
different than changeup. And ALL THREE are different than slider and
well you get the point. I've been mostly trying to throw fastballs
because I feel that should be the easiest to pitch. Not much luck with
that though. Anyway. I feel like if you can intentionally walk
someone with the bases loaded so they don't score even MORE than one run,
you should be able to forfeit games so that you don't ultimately lose by
EVEN MORE. You can forfeit a game so that you don't lose by 25 runs.
Regular generic standard forfeit loss is less embarrassing!
Great. This paragraph is almost over. Only been a
half hour by the time this act is over since last walk but I feel like I'll
take a walk anyway. Get it over with! I got nothing better to do
Between Acts. So great there's that. Maybe have that bagel for
lunch. That's what I'm imagining. Nice hearty bagel. Got
three mini-wings leftover. If I needed to eat some more I could have
one OR TWO of those. I could have THREE I guess. That would make
sense re: eating food I have BUT it could be too much for a single meal.
You heard it here first. These wings were a letdown. I
can think of a dozen things I could have gotten and enjoyed more last night.
What a disappointment. Oh well that's life I guess. Eating
food you don't like and then feeling jipped. What a let down!
I'll be back in a little bit.
I'm Going To Stop Now For Now
Hello friends. No rain on Walk #3! Can take shower when this act
is over roughly! Nice long break before Walk #4 where I can watch
ENTIRE MOVIE and THEN SOME. Wow! Some SHUTTER movie.
Got coffee going. Bagel waiting in the wings! Kids Chicken Parm
after that! IT'S TODAY GET ON BOARD WITH IT OR SHIP OUT.
GOOGLE DID JAVY BAEZ FIND HIS EARRING. As of 18 hours ago NOT
YET. No updates since then! I'm on the edge of my seat!
I want the last 2 games to be GOOD FEELINGS AND VIBES for everyone and Javy
Baez is RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT EVERYONE. Him losing A DIAMOND?
He's not gonna pumped about that! The mets can't get anything
right! Even when they win baseball games THEY LOSE DIAMONDS.
Baseball Diamond. Is that a thing. Probably. If I had
worked it out and said it in a more clever way. Oh well too late to go
What else is going on. I don't think I've
ever owned a piece of jewelry. I feel like I had a chain necklace at
some point. Let's say roughly 3rd to 7th grade. Not the entire
time. For a month or something somewhere in that time period. I
don't know what the point of it was but it rings some sort of bell.
Anyway. Had Ring Pops several time. It's candy you wear on your
finger. A sucking candy. You know like how people suck rings
all the time. Now it's made of candy for convenience. Hmm
I'd eat some candy now. Even a ring pop! I can see myself
enjoying one of those. Oh well too bad that's life. I can
HEAR it raining now. Maybe this No Shower When During Normal Time was
a blessing in disguise! As a curse! Or at least as something
Relatively Neutral! The good news is hey great how about that what
else is going on.
Wow! I got Toostie Pops. That's even
better than ring pops! If I really wanted A Candy right now I know
where to look. Oh well such is life. Gotta add gum to
Super market order. Oh well such is life. I hope I
toast upcoming bagel appropriately. Not too dark and not too light.
ALSO I hope I am able to cut it evenly. AND cut it without smooshing
it. ALSO I am able to put on the amount of butter I want AND it
equates to enough butter as I would want TO EAT. ALSO I hope the
process of putting on butter isn't too intensive and I can get it done
relatively quickly. Also I hope I can eat bagel SOMEWHAT not too
quickly AND it fills me up. LOTS of things can go wrong with this
lunch. But let's face it LOTS of things can GO RIGHT.
That's one way to look at it. There's roughly 20 ways to look at it.
That's definitely at least one or two! Huh.
Penultimate paragraph! Oh Hey what kind of
Patriotism Days do we got going for Upcoming Month. WELL GET A LOAD
OF THIS September 17th is CONSTITUTION DAY. September
11th is PATRIOT DAY. Oh I see what they did there. At
first it didn't ring ANY sort of bell but now I'm like oh okay 911 is
Patriotism Day now makes sense. Gonna have to do some research on
CONSTITUTION day. I'm assuming it's a reference to The American
Constitution. Not other meanings of the word. Pretty safe
assumption! September 12 is GRANDPARENT'S DAY. Now THAT'S
a holiday I can get behind. I never knew any grandparents enough to
have feelings about them but the CONCEPT of Grandparents such as in TV and
Film? WONDERFUL. I'll celebrate them once a year sure why not
it's not too intensive. Labor Day is September 6th.
That's sort of a Patriotism Day. It's BETTER than Patriotism Day
that's my impression. What else. Oh. The paragraph is
over. Such is life.
Last paragraph. ALSO 9/11 is PATRIOT DAY not
PATRIOTISM Day. I'd prefer Patriotism Day but oh well I'm not in
charge. I should be but I'm not! Moving on. I thought
Patriot Day was the Boston Marathon Bombing based on Film Titles. Why
would Films lie to us? They have no motive. What else is going
on. It's a good thing we have Patriot Day because it's a good way to
weed out the non-patriots because we can spot them Not Celebrating Patriot
Day On September 11ths. Let's separate the wheat from the chaff!
Which is an expression for some reason. Possibly porridge related.
Anyway what else is going on. The entry is over. I'll be back